All language subtitles for lapsia-profile

What does it look like there?
-Red, blotchy.

Are you there alone?
-Yes. I mean, no.

Is there something else with you?
Sperm, for instance?

Yes. I see sperm.

But they're not moving.

Would you like to tell them
something? -I want to hug them.

So hug them.

They won't let me.

Try commanding them.
Be stern with them!

Go ahead, command them!

They won't obey.
-Sorry.

PRODUCING ADULTS

Looks like Kivelä is out.
Coming up, the 500 meter race.

Shit!
-Did it break?

What's with these things?

Maybe there's
a deeper meaning to it.

Guess what Upi said?

He said if I train
for two more years full-time -

my chances are unlimited.

It would be great to end my career
with an Olympic gold.

It would be great for both of us.

You could concentrate
fully on your work.

You'd feel proud of me.

That's what you said two years ago.

Everyone says it's easy to
move around with a baby. -Yeah.

Besides it would take
almost a year anyway. -Yeah.

You'd have plenty of time
to do what you want. -Yeah.

Bye.
-Bye.

What are the worst aspects of
your relationship? -There are none.

But on an emotional level, I always
have to bear the responsibility.

What is the point of this?

To help you as a couple
to deal with these emotions.

We are here for fertility treatment,
not relationship counseling.

This is a big decision. It's
good to talk about it in advance.

So you decide
who can have children?

Calm down, Hessu.
-It's okay to show your anger.

I was saying...
-Shut up now.

Congratulations, birthday boy!

Who's got a birthday?
-Antero.

Ida, give Antero a nice
birthday kiss.

It's Antero's birthday.

Good girl, Iida.
She likes you.

I'm seeing a patient here.
-Right, of course.

Sorry I can't make it tonight.
We couldn't get a babysitter.

On a count to three,
start cleaning these up!

Don't shout at him!
-Don't you shout at me!

This is for you, honey.

You're so cute!
-How old is he?

How old are you there?
-I don't know, six or...

Where are you going?
-Just over there...

Should we stop the film?
-No, let it roll.

Two glasses of champagne.

It's antibiotics.

Speech, speech, speech!

3 5 years, half of which I've
had the chance to spend -

with this person...
who understands me so well.

Venla, can you come over here?

Venla.

I want us to get married.

We can't hear you!

Will you marry me?
-Yes, I will!

Excellent.

Cheers!

Congratulations!
-Thank you.

It's non-alcoholic.

Thank you.

Good morning.
-Good morning.

Excuse me.

Do you need a...?
-No.

Thank you.

We should go and pick out those
herb planters for over here.

Turns out I'm not pregnant,
after all.

What herbs did you say
we should plant here?

There's more at stake here.

Can I finish my sentence?
-Sure, go ahead.

It's not just the rights of
the patients that are involved.

Are you done?
-Go ahead.

If you're worried about the donors
we could ask them:

"Can my sperm be donated
to female couples?"

I'll even write it on
the forms myself.

You obviously haven't given
the issue very much thought.

It's a question of
the child's interest.

Which you are representing here?
The child's best interest.

I'm a good Christian
and I love children.

But that's not
what we are here to discuss.

You yourself brought up
your religious beliefs. -Please...

Could we stop fighting
and vote on the issue?

Once again, who is in favour of
allowing the treatment of -

single women and female couples?
-This is so ridiculous.

Can we move on?

You could
have brought it to her.

These need to be put in water.

Miro, are you eating at all
nowadays? -Yeah, sure.

What did the doctor say to you?

He keeps lying to me.
-Things don't look too bad.

And you?
-Absolutely great.

Tell me.
-I got that job.

Are you seeing someone?

Yes.

Who is it?

Who's who?
-Never mind .

Mind if I ask if it's
a he or a she?

Yeah, it's kind of hard to tell...
Kristoffer.

You meant well. -But now she
wants to meet " my new friend" .

I could pretend to be your
boyfriend. Kristoffer. -Who?

No one.
-Who's Kristoffer?

I could be your man.
I think you need a man.

Usage of prescription: urgent post-contraception.

I love you.
- I love you too.

You can live just as you want.
I won't try to change you.

Hi, are you home?

No, I'm still here.

What? There should be
some in the fridge...

Will you still be needing
your suit today?

I can't hear you.
It's a bad connection.

Are you OK?

Do you have
the key to this lock?

No.

It's double-locked.

That looks pretty broken
to me.

Stop blowing smoke in my face.

Fucking hell! -Don't worry,
we'll get out of here somehow.

Hold this.

Venla's not there, is she?

No, no.
I guess I wasn't listening, again.

I found this in my boyfriend's
jacket pocket.

Was it for you?
-I didn't know about it.

What should I say to him?

Leave him.

What if it'll set off the sprinklers
and not the alarm?

The alarm will go off.
You're holding it too far behind.

Maybe we should just wait
until the morning. -No way.

Bloody hell!

Excuse me.
-You're excused.

What the hell?
-We got stuck in there.

We should have had that lock
changed ages ago.

Were you both in there?
-Yeah.

What for?
-We were talking.

Is that Antero?

Yes.

You have to tell him
that you know.

Hi. Are you OK? Well?
-I'm soaking wet.

This is Satu.

Good evening.

OK, let's go.
I kept the sauna warm.

Listen.

You're ruining it.

It's supposed to be touching,
not entertaining.

No one asked you.
-Hey, let's not fight.

Mind if we don't talk?

Hi.
-Hi.

I've been thinking...
maybe we should change our plan.

Let's forget about contraception
and let the child come if it may.

What are you talking about?

Please answer me.

Answer me!

Your parents are coming
for a visit today.

We need to clean up the place.

This whole situation is totally
ridiculous.

So have a child.

You know why most couples
with small children get divorced?

Because they have a child because
of female hormonal activity -

and not because they both wanted it.

I have to breast-feed!
My tits are about to burst.

Pick up Edith
from gym class at seven.

Remember to mail
the birthday invitations.

Hey Indians,
get out of here!

We've been trying to
give up breast-feeding.

You too should try
to move on in life.

I can't. I haven't got the time.

A child would
change everything.

I'd become a house-father.

I feel like I'm just
not made for it, you know.

Fathers practically having to
breast-feed babies.

It's not for me.
It doesn't make me a worse person.

I just don't want to give up
and fold over.

What's the best alternative?
Waiting for the kids to move away?

Then get to know the person that
you loved all over again -

just to learn she is not
who she once was but bitter -

Looking for compensation
for the years she sacrificed.

Not me.
You know what I mean.

God dammit!
Stop running around!

Ask Mom to give you ice cream!
Tell her I said so.

We haven't got any ice cream!
-Make some frozen juice.

And who cares, anyhow.
I just don't want it.

Why are you telling me all this?
- If I told Venla, she'd leave me.

And I can't keep up
this charade for long.

I just don't want it.

Thanks.
-So, what did he say?

He said he was sorry.

And you forgave him?
-Yes.

We had a serious talk.

And now he wants a baby?

Does it matter when I use this?

I hope you know
what you're doing.

You've got a wrong
impression of our relationship.

We're not really like this.
Antero would give his life for me.

OVULATION TEST

How long will this packet last?

Depends on
how often you use them.

Right. Thank you.

Bye now.

Is that the reason?
-What?

Is it?
Go ahead, you can tell me.

I'm too short.

Give it a rest.

Go ahead, admit it.
I won't be offended.

People can have these primitive
reasons for not liking someone.

It's nothing to be ashamed of.

I could have
one of those operations.

They'd implant
some extra bone to my legs.

Two simple cuts and some
stretching and the bones settle in.

It takes a year for them to ossify.

I'd come out ten centimeters taller.
How does it sound?

What were you dreaming about?
-What?

You were mumbling in your sleep.

Hey!
-What?

Great, it's out there again!

Go shit in your own yard!

Get out of there!
Don't shit there!

The neighbour's bitch again?
-Yeah.

What are you looking for?
-My dick grease.

It's in here.

Let me grease it.

Come here.

Take your shorts off.

How much do I put on?
-A lot, it's really sore.

Does this feel bad?
-Not really.

It doesn't look too bad.

Sorry.

Hey, is this that song?
It's excellent.

You can't help but stare
at those business college girls...

So it works both ways?
-What?

Faking an orgasm.

Nonsense.

This isn't what we agreed on.

We can still call off the wedding.

Either we have the child
or we split up.

Of course the motives to having
a child are always selfish in a way-

but what matters the most
is your common will.

It'll be my first time too.
Everyone says it's a lot of fun.

And if it isn't, who cares.
-I don't have the clothes for it.

There's something
I need to ask you.

Not the panties.
-What?

My brother's doing the laundry.
-Oh?

Listen, can I call you right back?

Sure.
-OK, I'll call you. Bye.

Why can't you let me talk
on the phone in peace?

I want to lick off this honey.
-No, let me make my call.

Let me lick off this honey.

It's often the wife's idea in the
first place. -Yeah.

And it's easier to do to a man
than to a woman. -Yeah.

The operation itself is very simple.

I always say I could even
do it in a public toilet.

As long as we've
both got the right tools.

The anaesthetic, please.

You'll feel a little sting.

There.
And now we just wait a while.

I'll give you a sedative,
you'll be more relaxed.

You're a bit nervous, aren't you?
-Yeah.

Most wonder at this stage
if they'll still be men afterwards.

They will.
-Yeah.

And it's such a relief not to
have to worry about contraception.

OK, now I'll just make a
small cut in the testicles.

We'll dig out the seminal duct -

and snip off a centimetre
on each side.

It's kind of like over-cooked
spaghetti. Gloves, please.

It's important that you have 2 5
ejaculations after the vasectomy.

It ensures that all the sperm
comes out.

I've been up all night thinking,
like. -Like what?

Maybe we should try to have
the baby, after all.

Are you serious?

Is that what's been on your mind?

There's no guarantee
that we'll succeed.

Who has she been bowling with?
-I don't know.

Miro!

Is it someone from work?
-I guess so.

A doctor?
-Maybe.

Some tall, handsome doctor?
-Could be.

Doctors don't bowl.

Aren't you pleased?
-It seems so weird.

For weeks
he didn't want to do it -

and now he keeps repeating
that not everyone can have children.

It's true. -Yes, but what if
there's something wrong with him.

Look!
-Wow.

He could be tested.
-He doesn't want to.

What's that?
-Nothing.

He said he either wants it
to happen naturally or not at all.

I see.

Is something the matter?

You could have the test done
without Antero.

How's that? -You guys have sex
and we take the sample from you.

I thought you weren't ovulating!
-Shut up.

How long since you had intercourse?
-Less than an hour.

Has Antero been taking
any hormones? -No.

What?

Is something wrong?

There is semen in the sample
but the sperm count is very low.

We can't have children.
-The sample's too small to tell.

Hi!

Here I have basil...
and lemon basil, it's a bit smaller.

And that's sage and that
bushy plant is chervil.

I thought I'd put them here.

You're tired.
-Yes.

I can take care of this.
You go get some rest.

No, I want to help you.
You've got some soil there.

The ones that don't go in there
could go in here.

The chives and parsley
could go in there.

You can start planting these.

I think it needs some more soil.

It'll be great on a summer morning
to just get them from the balcony.

Satu's in the bathroom.

She's been in and out
of there all day.

She must be nervous
about something.

OK. Shall we go?
-Yup.

Where are you going? -We'll
drop by to see Mom and stuff.

When will you be back?
-None of your business.

Bye.
-Bye.

CANCER CLINIC

Hi.
-Hi.

Thanks.

Mom, this is her.
-Oh, her?

Hi, I'm Venla.
-Seija.

So you're back in Finland.

What do your parents do?

My Dad is a doctor and Mom
works at an insurance company.

Careful with the tube, Mom.

Green eyes and brown hair.
Won't do. He's over 1 90 cm tall.

A doctor... no.

Blue eyes and light brown hair,
6 5 kg.

How much does Antero weigh?
-83 kg.

Does your Mom know
that we work together?

I can't remember if I told her.

A musician... no.
This one's Danish.

Blue eyes and dark hair,
1 80 cm tall.

This one.
-Congratulations.

You can have
this framed afterwards.

Does this make any sense?
-No.

Why are you helping me?
-Do you want this or not?

It's my own fault, of course.

I'm so damned disappointed.

But what scares me the most
is that I envy you.

Your judgment is blurred by
something I've never experienced.

Love.

I've liked you both
from the very start.

If anyone wishes that you
could have a child it's me.

You shouldn't feel ashamed.
-Right.

Seeing as I'm a bachelor -

it seems the family will
die out with me.

I don't want your pity.
I've chosen the life I lead.

I would personally like to
contribute to your effort.

That's an excellent idea.
-It is.

Of course we need to talk it over
calmly and peacefully.

I believed for endless years -

I could find my course through
the storm alone.

How I longed for the white ship -

that would carry me
past the waves.

You sing beautifully.
-Thank you.

Would you girls like to
try an older vintage?

You decide, honey.
-No, you decide.

Where is he?
-In the bathroom.

Here's our chance, let's go.
-We can't hurt his feelings.

For God's sake!
-We can't go now.

We'll leave when he passes out.
-He'll be back any minute -

with his dick in his hand.
-So we'll see that too. Relax!

He's coming.

I think we'll take it
from here alone.

Is this authentic?
-lf it doesn't succeed this time -

we could take a few days off work.

When you're ovulating, we could
go on a job excursion, maybe Italy.

We can agree about finances
and all that later on.

A study place here,
or perhaps somewhere abroad.

You don't know how much
this means to me.

This means
a helluva lot to me.

Claes, I don't...

You don't know
how good this feels.

Claes, what are you doing?

It feels so damned good.

There's been
a misunderstanding.

Claes...

You smell so good.
I've been waiting for this.

Claes... Really...

Stop it!

Why did you leave me in there?
-I don't know what you want.

I can't show my face
at work. -Why not?

Did you know all the time
what he was up to? -No.

He came in there
and took off his clothes.

He grabbed me like this.

And put his hand here
and drooled down my neck.

His ass was so sweaty and cold.

And then he said:

"You don't know
how good this feels" .

Then he started crying and said
he had such strong feelings -

and women couldn't stand him
because of that.

Right. I'm going home now.
-Me too.

Let's share a cab.

Satu, wait!

I could stop for a glass of wine.

I haven't got any wine.
-Tea would be fine.

I have to check...
Our roommate is kind of tedious.

He's like a tenant,
my brother's...

This is Venla, we work together.
This is Antti.

Hi.
-Antti. Hi.

We've got some work to do.
-I've tried calling you all day.

Are you a doctor too?
-A psychologist.

So was my Mom's brother.
-Stop it.

You live nearby?

In Espoo.
-That's great.

Hey, Satu, listen.

I've been thinking about our
refrigerator. -What about it?

It needs to be defrosted.
-I can do it.

And what about all our food?
-I'll bring it down tomorrow.

Are you wearing makeup?
-Knock it off.

What about Seija's salad?
Couscous or noodles?

I should be getting home.
-Wait a minute.

Maybe I should first
rub your clit for a while.

Just kidding.

She's here, yes.

Or maybe you should come over?

We need to sort things out.

Hey, was it you I talked to?
Do you live here?

Where's Venla?!
Is she in there?

Hey, don't go anywhere!

Hey, I need to.

I'll go get...
-I just want to see her!

Let go!

Satu!

Unbelievable.
I'll go see what's going on.

Don't go anywhere.
Promise. -Yes.

What's there to cry about?

She doesn't really care about you.
You saw for yourself.

She was just getting some kicks
out of acting the dyke.

Now she's on her way home to
look after her " real" man.

Is this too tight?
-You're going to leave me.

1 5 years and now you leave me.

Did she lick your cunt?
-Stop it.

Are you in love with her?

Did you lick her cunt?

Tell me what I should be like.
What the fuck should I be like?

There's nothing wrong with you.

But everything's just so much
better with her, right?

You're leaving me.

So leave me then.

Or...?

Good morning, everyone.

So it's another week ahead of us.

Let's get started.

Come in.

Are you avoiding me?
-Of course not.

We're still going to have to
work together. -Sure.

I didn't mean to mess things up
with you and Antero.

I'm kind of busy here.

According to Plato,
the soul consists of three parts:

the desire part containing passion,
like lust for money or carnal lust-

the provocative part where all the
great emotions such as hate reside.

The reasoning part,
which houses the human mind-

and should rule over
the other two parts.

I'm so proud
to see you here today.

You are exceptionally brave people.
You have an exceptional will to try.

You will have your reward,
believe me.

Welcome.
-Thank you.

Hey there, Satu. Wake up!

Satu, you've been lying
in bed long enough.

It stinks in here.
It smells like a kebab.

Hey, Doctor, get up!

Wake up, darling girl.

It's a beautiful, brand new day.
-Go away!

Satu!
-Go away.

Get up, now!
-Can you hear me? Out!

I'll leave you an apple here.

You can eat it
when you feel like it.

I'll clean up in the meantime.

It's a magic apple.

It's a nectarine.
-I just said so.

You don't have to
introduce me to your relatives.

I want you to be absolutely sure.
-I am sure.

We don't have to
tell them what I do.

We could say
that you work at a bank.

Put them back!

Did you hear me,
put the condoms back!

Sorry.

I'm pregnant.

What?
-Twelve weeks.

Hi.
-It's quite late.

I don't know what time it is.
How are you? -I was sleeping.

Wanna go out for coffee?

I'd like to know
how you're doing.

How are... what are you doing?
-I'm hanging up.

Where are my jeans?

The faded ones.

So, will you do it?
-Be the godfather?

You don't have to.
-Sure, I'll do it.

Should I start looking for a flat?

I heard about your mother.
I'm so sorry.

Thanks.
-Sorry.

Do you know anything
about dreams? -No, I don't.

I keep having this nightmare...
-Get one of those dream books.

I guess we won't see each
other anymore. -You never know.

We won't,
and we won't keep in touch.

My friends!
We are ready for the cleansing.

Take your partner by the hand
and spread out on the beach.

Form a double line through which
you can walk straight to the beach.

There's no rush. All that matters
is what is happening right now.

What matters is that you are doing
it together. Keep holding hands.

Come, be embraced by the sea.

Feel the soft pressure when
the water presses against the suit.

I've done this a hundred times,
but it's always just as exciting.

Hold each other by the hand.

If you think you're going to slip,
don't let go.

Is it too cold? The janitor said
I could take a look at the boiler.

Did you hear what I said?
Miro and I've been talking-

that maybe I should quit the music
scene and get a real job.

My uncle has a plumbing company,
I could work there, nine to five.

Look up at the sky.

Look at the universe and
keep floating on the water.

Hold each other by the hand.

Now is a good moment to tell your
partner how much you love them.

Take your partner by the hand.

Look them in the eye and say:
" I love you" .

I love you.

And your partner answers...

Good

Sure, go warm up
if you feel like it.

What if the doctor said that we
could have children of our own?

It wouldn't change anything.
-I see.

What is this?
-A funeral invitation.

Is it for that woman?
-No, it's for her Mom.

Hi, excuse me...

Our dog took a crap in your yard
and I didn't bring a doodie bag.

I thought I'd put
it on the roses in our yard.

We're out of bags, just leave it.
-No, I'll clean it up.

I'll fetch a bag from home.
-Just leave it there.

But it's right next to the aspen.
-There are bags in the kitchen.

I see you're moving. Didn't care
to settle here for all that long?

Moving is always so stressful.

The third most stressful thing
after a child's death and divorce.

Mind if I take two?
-Sure, go ahead.

The funeral is today
on some island. -Throw it away.

You throw it away.

The roses will bloom all summer
with such a beautiful smell.

Thank you so much.
-Don't forget it's diesel.

Planning to stay here for long?
-I'm not doing this on purpose.

Are you staying here or leaving?
-The engine won't start.

So open the hood. Open it.
-This car doesn't have a hood.

Do you have the number
of the rental agency?

Do you know if it's a diesel
or a petrol engine?

We have to get to the maternity
clinic, my wife's in labour.

Fucking cow!

Mommy's leaving now.

I'll go over the deal with
the videos.

The one that's on now has
"Our Little Micro Circle"-

then there's " Lightning Speed" ...
-They have to brush their teeth.

First the evening snack, and then
they have to brush their teeth.

They both have their own brushes,
they know where to find them.

Once they're in bed,
don't let them get up again-

or you'll never get them to sleep.
-Leave them a glass of water.

There's more
of Seija's juice in the kitchen.

I'm sure someone
will show you.

Is everyone OK over here?

There's lots of
couscous salad left.

What's the matter?
-Stop fussing.

Fussing? I just asked
if everyone... -Stop it.

I asked if they had enough coffee
and who wants some more salad.

What's wrong? -Don't touch me.
Take your hands off me.

I wasn't fussing, I just asked
if they wanted more salad...

They can get it themselves.
-What's wrong?

Where are you going? Miro!

What is it?

Have you been waiting for long?
-No.

Are you coming?

I want you to drive me back.
-Why?

I feel sick.

We've had this stomach virus
going around at work.

I wouldn't want any of the
guests to catch it.

I'll go put those flowers in water.

You can wait for me in the boat.
I'll be right back.

You want some Seltzer or something?
-No, thanks.

Whose father are you?

No one's.
-How come?

I don't have any children.
-Why not?

Not all people have children.
-Don't you have a wife either?

What?
-Don't you have a wife?

Can I have your attention!
Please, gather around.

Has anyone seen Miro? The boy
with the funny sailor shirt?

Dare I come any closer?

You have a stomach virus.

We were going to play this song
at Seijas 60th birthday party-

but as it happens,
we decided to perform it here.

I didn't have the chance to get to
know Seija until late in her life.

I met her through Satu.

Thanks, Antti.
This was Seija's favorite.

Where's Satu?
Should we call for her?

The trap of summer fever

My weak heart was caught in

I saw the sails, the sea, the sand,
I wrote a song of their sin...

Congratulations.

Thank you.

You must be happy.
-Yeah.

Are you?
-Yes.

So, what now?

Nothing, I guess.

We would have been at each
other's throats all the time.

I guess so.

I left my moving van
in the middle of a crossing.

I guess I should go and get it.

I don't have the strength
to turn the tables again.

Neither do I.

You can't keep always going back
to square one. -Absolutely not.

It's time to take responsibility
for one's own life. -So it is.