All language subtitles for Maggie.S01E10.WEBRip.x265-ION265

MARIA:
Maggie.

Hello!

Tell me what's going on.

Something's going on?

Don't hide in the fridge.

I may not be a psychic, but I'm your
mother, which is the exact same thing.

Something's not right with you.

Are you being harassed?

Feels like it.

- I'm serious. If you've gotten in
too deep with one of those groups...

- Huh?
- ...there's always help.

Just tell me you're not in a sex cult.

If one more person I know...

Calm down.

You know I hate group activities.

Then explain this.

Came for you today.

Reeks of sex and patchouli.

♪

Angel!

I'm freaking out.

How does Julius Moon
even know who we are?

Girl, I have the exact same question!

This is a hard invitation to come by.
You know about these parties, right?

- Uh-uh.
- Okay, so once upon a time,

I had a friend with benefits in New York.

- The finance guy
in the Meatpacking District.

- No, the meatpacking guy
in the Finance District.

Anyway, his ex-husband's
wedding planner's side dish

was a piano player
for these fancy parties--

Wait. Who is the main character here?

Girl, the point is

they have been holding exclusive

mystic gatherings for years.

We're talking cocktails, games,

- a couple of hot tarts being passed around.
- Mm!

Maybe some food, too.

I can't wait!

I've never been in a room
full of only psychics.

We have spent enough
of our lives being outsiders.

Yes, girl.

It is time for us to finally enjoy

a night of blending the hell in.

I think I'll wear feathers.

♪

-We're gonna have a great night...
-Can't believe it, yeah.

- Oh ho! What a fancy coat!
I hope we're not going to the same place,

'cause if so, we'd be really underdressed.

Yeah. Where are you guys off to?

- Oh, Angel and I are going
to a psychic thing.

It's nothing. Just the who's who
event of the season.

Psychics have seasons?

- You are bragging,
and our car is here. Come on.

Okay! We have to go! Bye!

- Bye.
- Bye.

- Oh, that's a hot little loaf.
Where you going with that?

- Oh, we're going to a couples dinner
at Amy and Dave's.

Couples dinner. Yeah.

- Hey, you should join us.
- Yes.

- Oh, I couldn't possibly.
I don't want to intrude.

Bonjour!

Le beer is here.

Louise! You sneaky little surpriser.

- Hey...
- Aw. Hi.

I hope I'm not crashing.
You know, I hate to...

- pop the couple bubble.
- Now, you stop it. You stop right now.

You know you are always welcome here.

- Thanks.
- Now, take off

your nasty little shoes.
Should've left them by the door.

- Oh.
- Thank you.

- Hey, hey!
- Hi! How are you?

Hey, why don't you invite Plant Guy?

Oh, that died, remember?

Yeah, just like the ficus he gave me.

- Well, what about that guy who beatboxes?
The law student?

Oh, couldn't get him to stop rapping

about constitutional law. It was awful.

Weren't there also two DJs?

Yeah. Croatia, secret family.

It's just really rough out there.

Oh...

Well, we hate them.

OVERLAPPING:
Yeah. They sucked. The worst.

- I liked the beatboxer.
- No, you don't. You don't.

♪

Girl, we have arrived.

Look at this place.

- Clearly, we're not charging enough.
- I mean...

- Angel, if we die tonight,
I'm at peace with that.

- Girl, they can bury us together.

- Hello.
- Hello, welcome.

Mr. Moon asks that you
hand over your phones.

- Oh.
- Oh. Okay.

- And don't stand too close to the art
or it'll go "beep"!

That's intimidating.

Enjoy the evening.

Thank you.

- Why did I curtsy?
- Oh, come on.

No phones. You don't know this,

- but this is just like an orgy.
- Oh.

Angel, I can't believe everyone
at this party is psychic.

- I know.
- It's-- Oh my gosh.

The energy in this room is amazing.

Yes, ma'am.

You have your clairvoyants,

your mediums,

people who work with cards,

crystals...

- And the ones who really matter.
- Wait, Angel,

why am I so nervous?
What if they don't like me

and I don't get invited back? Help.

Honey, breathe, breathe, breathe, okay?

Oh, you remind me of me
at my first pride.

Terrified, blonde, skinny.

Trust me. You'll be stripping to
a Bonnie Raitt song in no time.

- Oh, I like Bonnie Raitt.
- Yes. Come on.

So, Louise...

tell us everything
about not being partnered.

What's it like?
Are you on the apps?

- Uh, yeah. I'm on the apps.
I beta-tested the apps.

I'm what the developers
call a lifer.

You know, I've been with Ben so long,

I've never even used a dating app.

Do you really just swipe...
infinite men?

I mean, yeah, basically.

Look, when you start out, it's amazing,

right? You're just matching

with all these hot marketing bros
who are "into whiskey."

So you Google it,
look up a fun fact to bring up,

like how whiskey is the state
beverage of Alabama.

- Did not know that.

- You bring that up on the date,
but it gets no reaction.

And then you realize not only is this guy

not that into whiskey,

he's not that into getting
to know who I am.

- Aw.
- You know?

So you go back on the carousel,
and you ride it

around and around,

just slowly lowering your standards,

date after date.

And you just wonder

what the hell you're doing wrong,

and how it is that everybody else
has found the one except for you.

AMY:
Girl, look at me.

You are such a catch.

Now, if I was matchmaking you,

I could find you an amazing guy in, like,

negative one seconds.

JESSIE:
Wait.

Can we try this?
Like, swipe for you as a group?

Is that crazy?

I mean, okay. It's not like

this will end with me being more alone.

- Unless you end up
in one of those relationships

where you end up
more alone than ever.

- Okay, Louise,
give me your phone.

We are getting you a man.

MAN:
Well, I'm a palm reader by trade

and a sculptor by hobby.

I really like working with my hands.

Well, I have two of those.

- Why don't we work on them right now?
Alright...

Ooh! Hi.

I'm Maggie. It's so nice...

- I'm so sorry. Oh my god.
I just related to that too hard.

Hi! I'm Allegra.

I'm Maggie.

Mm, hello.

Are you gonna be my wing woman
or am I going to be yours?

Maybe we should just be sister wives.

- Honestly, I'd be down.

Isn't it crazy,
seeing a whole group of us?

Yeah. Everyone here is so... mystical.

I feel like I don't really look the part.

- Oh, I always feel like that.
I'm just used to being

the weirdo in my friend group
who gets random energy flashes

- at the supermarket.
- Right?

I have had some low moments

in the candy aisle.
On multiple levels.

- Good evening!
I'm Julius Moon.

Welcome to this year's psychic gathering.

This is a rarefied group of mystics,

and it's an honor
to have you all present.

To kick us off tonight.
I planned a special game

to get the conversation flowing.

Would you like to play?

ALL:
Yes!

- This being LA,
I've hired an actor,

who is standing
in this very room right now,

pretending to be psychic.

Using every form
of perception you have,

can you identify the decoy
and prove yourself

to be the most
powerful psychic here?

Let the hunt begin!

♪

♪

- So if you're psychic,
how do you spend the solstice?

Um, stuck in traffic usually.

So, how long have you been a medium?

At least seven lifetimes.

That's very cool.

I'm sorry. You have something on your...

- Do you mind if I just...
- Okay.

If you are
listening to this audiobook,

then you, or someone
you know, hates their mother.

Ah, couldn't get it.

Well, see you in the next lifetime.

♪

Number eight.

That's a beautiful ring.

- I foresee the death
of every man I meet.

It's why I wear black every day
and only dine at the Ritz.

I found it in the seat cushion
on a Southwest flight.

Score.

♪

Oh, what about Eric, huh?

He looks friendly.
Oh, yeah.

I like his big tattoo that says "family."

- Oh, I know this guy.

We matched on a different app,
messaged for three months,

and then never went on a date.

- Yeah, come on.
Louise can do better than him.

But he met Henry Winkler.

- Oh! He's hot!

Yes, yes, yes.

Sailing, crypto, CEO?

- What do you think?
- Eh...

Sort of seems like
the Holy Trinity of jerks.

What?

No, he literally wrote,
"I'm a great guy.

Fun, in-shape girls only."
I'm saying yes.

- What?
- Oh, wait. What's on your profile?

- Can I see your pics?
- Yeah, go ahead. Take a look.

They're not, like, professional.

Why does everyone have professional pics?
Yeah.

JESSIE:
Yeah... Can I make a suggestion?

I just don't see these attracting
the right kind of guy.

Oh.

Uh...

Okay, what was the suggestion?

There we go. Elegant, in charge,

professional. This is you.

- Are you sure this is the look?
What do you guys think?

- Gorge. Pure Louise.
- Yeah. Really nice. Fantastic.

♪

Okay!

Smile for me.

Think female governor.

Okay.

- I'd vote for that.
- Very nice, Louise.

Incredible. Very smart.

You can read my mind.
I know you can.

Angel!

Ooh, how's it going?

This game is so hard.

My visions really aren't helping me
figure out who the fake is.

What about your new friend, Flonase?

If you're making that joke,

you obviously know her name is Allegra,

and she is the real deal.
She reads auras.

Are you sure about that?

- Mm-hmm. Ooh!

Ooh! Ooh! That's the woman
who ignored me at the bar.

Maybe it's her.

Ooh. Go, go, go, go, go.

Oh, so sorry.

- If you touch my shawl again,
I will kill you.

Okay, she's very legit.

- No way he's six-one.

-See you, Jonathan.
-Hate that hat.

See you, Taylor.

JESSIE:
Oh, he needs a hat!

See you, Thomas.

AMY:
Oh no.

LOUISE:
Uh-oh.

- Mm...
- Oh. Oh dear.

- Oh, that obviously
wasn't supposed to happen.

Would you like to explain?

I mean, yeah. I'm not on here.

I created a profile when we broke up.

I went on this one horrible date
with this girl named Katharine,

who's never tried ketchup.

But, I deleted the app

when we got back together,

so I have no idea why this is on here.
Mm, yeah.

You got to delete your account,

not just the app.
That's how they got you,

so...

Ben, LA.

"I'm just a guy
standing in front of a girl,

asking her to DM him
her fave one-hit wonder."

I think we can, like, swipe left...

- "Teachin', beachin', and tearing
it up in the keetchen."

I've never felt more naked in my life.

I'm gonna grab another drink.

- From the keetchen?

LOUISE:
You know, in his defense,

rhyming's really big on here.
At least it's not as bad as

"fluent in sarcasm."

Oh. Okay, guys. Shh.

Couples therapy later.
We have got a match.

It's Nate!

The CEO?

- Oh my god! This is such a rush.
We have to message him.

"Uh, hi.

LOL."

"I'm an entrepreneur

in the wellness space."

Yeah, I'm just a yoga instructor.

- I'm not trying to scam people.
- I'm just making sure you pop.

This guy is, like, my ideal man.

- Really?

For Louise.

- Really?
- Yep.

Better not be you.

Is it?

- Excuse you.
I am a full-time psychic.

- How do I know you're not the actor?
- I wish.

Not being a psychic
would make my life a lot easier.

I saw my parents' divorce
eight years before it happened.

Oh, I'm sorry.

That must have been really hard.

- Hey, I am James.
I'm 34 years old,

and I'll be reading for the role
of Sexy Zombie Number Three.

It is you!

You are the actor!

- Yes!
- Oh, come on.

If I get found out, I don't get paid.

Oh.

- I-I knew it was you.

You're the fake!

What the hell, man?

Yeah, she is the actor.

I had a feeling.

She doesn't even celebrate the solstice.

- What? No, that...

He is the actor.

I just saw it!

- You lied to me?
- No.

I knew it.

I could tell she was
forcing it all night.

She even said she was worried about

"looking the part."
She's clearly not one of us.

♪

Ooh, Louise!

You and Nate are having a real
back-and-forth going on over here.

- "Is that a carp
you're holding in your photo?"

Oh, what's a carp?

Oh. Okay, I was hoping it wasn't a fish.

- Uh, maybe you should tell him
about Louise's dog.

- Maybe you should call Katharine
and go have some dry French fries.

Oh! Nate lives

two blocks away.
We have to invite him over, right?

- We're gonna judge him
like American Idol.

- Uh, yeah.
I can leave if you guys want...

- No, no. What are you talking about?
We need you. You're the you.

JESSIE:
Yeah!

♪

Hi! It's Jessie.

You're on speaker with everyone.

How is your psychic thing?

- Um... I-it ended early. I--

Please tell me you guys are
doing something fun right now.

- Well, I'm about to have
a first date in front of everybody.

Yeah. Aren't you jealous?

Come join us at Amy and Dave's.

- Yeah, but no spoilers. We don't need
a psychic giving everything away.

Yeah, don't ruin it for me.
I have a lot riding on this.

Um, you know what?

I actually just realized...
how tired I am,

so, um, think I'm just going
to go straight to bed.

I'm sorry. Hope he's the one.

- Lame!
- Party pooper.

Bye. Bye!

♪

- Hm...
- Ooh.

Got it. "Weg."

"Weg"? What's that? What's "weg"?

- It is seven-point word.
- No, it-- No, it's not.

Just 'cause the numbers are on it.

"Weg" is not a word.
You came!

Maggie.

Oh, thank God you're safe.

Why didn't you text back?

Listen, I have been
worried sick about you.

These cults, they brand people...

Uh, honey,

why don't you come
into the kitchen with me

and help me find
my favorite mug?

You know, the one that says,
"If you can read this, you're too close"?

Please? Come on.

MARIA:
Your mug can't wait?

I have questions for our daughter!

- Oh! He's here! You guys, he's here!
- Louise, go answer it!

It's not even my house!

-Okay, yeah.
-Fluff the pillows.

-Okay.
-Okay, okay.

JESSIE:
Fluff the pillows.

Karate chop, please.
Ben, settle down.

-Hi!
-Hi!

LOUISE:
Come in.

Yep, you're in the right place.

Uh, welcome to this... house.

Nate. Ben.

- Hey, Ben.
Hey, everyone.

-Hi.
- Hey.

Uh, what is all this?

- Oh, yeah. These are my--

Siblings.

- Uh, and we were
just in the middle of--

- Talking about how
we have the same mum.

- Yeah.
Uh, please!

Have a seat!
We have heard so much about you.

- You have?

I gotta say you really look
like your photos.

Like, exactly.

- Oh.
Oh.

Did you just take these photos?

You know, I can't do this.

Uh...

Nate? This is not a match.

Um, Jesse, thanks for trying,
but it's a no.

It's okay. We can keep looking.

LOUISE:
No, don't. Alright?

This was just not as fun
as I thought it was gonna be.

Online dating never is.

I'm sick of trying to impress people
that I've never even met.

You know, it makes me feel
bad about myself,

and hot people shouldn't
feel bad about themselves.

- No...
- Nope. Nope.

- I'm tired of trying
to force this, okay?

I need a break,
so I'm deleting the apps.

- Well, make sure you delete
the account as well,

so your girlfriend doesn't get mad at you.

- I still can't believe you online dated,
and I didn't.

Like, what else don't I know?

- What else don't I know?
I didn't know your type was a...

business bro.

Wait,

was I talking to you?

Yeah, that was me.

And you two are together?

Yeah, we are.

NATE:
Huh.

- I'm gonna go.
- You should go now.

-Thanks for coming by.
-Sure.

- Oh, actually, do you have
a favorite Albert Finney movie?

Who's Albert Finney?

Yeah, you can go. Right this way.

- You're going to lose her if
you interrogate her like that.

Don't scare her off.

No sudden movements.

You got to approach
her cautiously, respectfully.

Like she's a cat.

Oh, Jack.

- Seriously?
- Here.

Offer her a treat.

Hm?

You okay, sweetie?

- Not really.
- Oh...

- Sometimes, I feel like I just
don't really belong to a group,

you know? Like...

Like, I'm... I'm either too normal

or not normal enough.

It hurts.

What about your friends downstairs?

That's a little group.

Louise, Ben, and Jessie...

That other... couple.

Yeah.

I love them. They're great, but...

It's awkward with Ben.

Before Ben and Jessie got back together,

Ben and I...

had a little thing for a minute, and...

I really liked him.

Maybe I still do.

Listen, I cannot begin to know

what it's like to move
through the world like you.

♪

What I do know is that there is one place

where no one is normal

and you fit right in.

- You always know what I need, don't you?
- Mm.

Maybe you are psychic.

You want some more treats?

- Yes, please.
- Mm.

Jack!

Do we still have that tin of popcorn
that we were gonna give the mailman,

but never got around to it at Christmas?

Two steps ahead of you, honey.

I finished it off last week.

- Dad...
Oh...

♪

I'm sorry, does that say "weg"?

Yes, it's a word. Don't question it.

♪

- I'd love to show you
the tile in my foyer.

Is it hand laid?

- Of course, it is.
Shall we head out to my loft?

Yes.

- He's got a husband, and the tiles
are peel and stick.

Excuse me.

You are chic. I'm obsessed.

We're getting a drink.

- I know.

♪