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1
00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:11,079
It's been a month since Mum moved
in, and it's not going great.
2
00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:14,119
[MUSIC: Sick of It
by the Primitives]
3
00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:17,439
Oh! You have to do that to
your face every morning?
4
00:00:17,440 --> 00:00:20,199
Do you have to start the day
with a rollie behind your ear?
5
00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:22,399
And I need a bigger
cup than that.
6
00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:26,479
♪ There's no fire
in your sun... ♪
7
00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:29,639
They can't even get
through breakfast together.
8
00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:32,159
How many sugars have
you put in that? Three.
9
00:00:32,160 --> 00:00:33,559
Well, I take five.
10
00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:36,439
Tastes like dishwater.
Not good for you, that.
11
00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:38,679
Oh, what, are you the
expert on health now?
12
00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:40,919
I'm very healthy,
I'll have you know.
13
00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:42,839
My body's a pissing temple.
14
00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:45,680
♪ I'm sick of it all
15
00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:51,120
♪ I'm sick of it
16
00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:54,960
♪ Sick of it all. ♪
17
00:00:56,240 --> 00:01:01,239
It was the strangest experience
of my life and, then again,
18
00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:02,599
weirdly erotic.
19
00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:05,360
Oh, God, not the
alien abduction again!
20
00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:09,639
If aliens were coming to Earth,
why would they come to Bolton
21
00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:10,919
and abduct you, Grandma?
22
00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:12,959
You tell me, Alma. You tell me.
23
00:01:12,960 --> 00:01:14,919
Hm, yeah, that's
really interesting.
24
00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:16,599
So, on Lin's progress...
25
00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:19,359
They were stood in the
corner of me bedroom,
26
00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:22,279
in the middle of the night,
just staring at me at first.
27
00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:24,159
What did they look like?
28
00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:26,919
Erm, normalish-size heads.
29
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,519
Malevolent eyes.
30
00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:32,999
And then they told me they
needed to take me. Bloody hell!
31
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,239
Yeah, and I don't blame them.
32
00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:38,879
You know, I am an
extremely sexual being.
33
00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:41,319
As were they. OK,
shall we get off
34
00:01:41,320 --> 00:01:43,959
the topic of whether you did or
didn't fuck an alien, Grandma?
35
00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:45,639
Yes, I'd like that
too, actually.
36
00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:48,919
Erm, I think it's
important to say
37
00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:53,519
I'm glad you all feel comfortable
now, being so... honest with me,
38
00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:57,239
but these weekly visits are actually
about tracking Lin's progress.
39
00:01:57,240 --> 00:01:59,519
Yeah, well, I've got
my own news, actually.
40
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,919
Right, well, it's not
really a news-sharing forum.
41
00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:04,559
Oh, what is it? Well... Sorry,
I've got another visit after this
42
00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:07,119
and then Pilates at five. Yeah.
No, I understand that. Yeah.
43
00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:10,159
So, I got in the theatre
company and I'm off on tour.
44
00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:14,119
Oh! Oh, that's
fantastic, Alma! I know.
45
00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:15,799
I knew you'd be a star.
46
00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:17,439
Didn't I always say that, Lin?
47
00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:20,399
No, never. How long
are you going for?
48
00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:22,119
Six months.
49
00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:24,839
Right, fucking great.
50
00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:25,999
[LORRAINE SIGHS]
51
00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:27,359
What about me?
52
00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:28,959
Oh, for God's sake!
53
00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:30,679
Well, you're doing
really well now, Mum.
54
00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:33,799
Am I now? I feel like a
battery farm chicken here,
55
00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:38,039
cooped up between these two
clucking away with no break.
56
00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:39,319
Yes, it can be draining.
57
00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:42,159
Do you know the most exciting
thing that's happened to me
58
00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:44,479
this week is having
a buttered crumpet?
59
00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:48,439
It's not been easy for Mum, staying
clean and getting back on the grid.
60
00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:51,239
Take yesterday, for
example.[ ALARM BEEPS]
61
00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:52,559
An abrupt 7:30 start.
62
00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:55,079
Cock-a-doodle-fuckin'-do.
Time to go.
63
00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:57,079
She had to get about
a million buses,
64
00:02:57,080 --> 00:03:00,799
which stressed her
right out...[ SHE GRUNTS]
65
00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:02,479
..to get her injection.
66
00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:04,199
Hurry up! Then back home
67
00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:06,159
for the daily character
assassination.
68
00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:08,639
You slump like Granny Rose.
69
00:03:08,640 --> 00:03:10,719
She ended up with a hunchback.
70
00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:13,639
Do you remember that big hump
you used to hang your hats on?
71
00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:15,559
And what's she got
to relieve her?
72
00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:16,719
Not any more.
73
00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:18,680
No wonder she keeps
having tantrums.
74
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:23,239
I suppose she'll just have to
have another fucking crumpet.
75
00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:25,319
Well, a crumpet
sounds lovely to me.
76
00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:27,360
I've not had a
carb in six years.
77
00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:31,359
No wonder she's
always pissed off.
78
00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:33,559
Look, Lin, I know it's hard,
79
00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:37,559
but we can't be feeling sorry
for ourselves, can we? OK?
80
00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:39,399
The longer you
keep a clean slate,
81
00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:42,359
the more leverage we'll have to
get you rehoused in the future.
82
00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:44,919
Right, I best be off.
83
00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:47,919
I'll be back next
week. And, erm,
84
00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:51,879
as interesting as it is to hear
about everybody's colourful lives,
85
00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:56,239
I'd like to keep the
focus on Lin, please, OK?
86
00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:58,759
All right. Yeah.
I'll see myself out.
87
00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:02,480
Bye! Thank you. Thank
you very much. Bye. Bye.
88
00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:05,080
[DOOR CLOSES]
89
00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:08,679
She needs to eat a
fucking potato, her.
90
00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:11,200
[SHE CHUCKLES ]Yeah.
91
00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:17,519
I can't wait.
92
00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:20,559
A national tour, Leanne. Woo!
93
00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:25,039
Look out, Hull, Scunthorpe,
Margate - here I come.
94
00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:27,959
Who the bloody hell do you
think you are, Coyote Ugly?
95
00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:32,399
Get down off me furniture!
Eh, I bought a few bits.
96
00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:34,759
Ooh, get your bits out.
97
00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:38,079
These are my "I'm a star"
sunglasses. You know,
98
00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:40,359
for when I'm dealing
with the paparazzi.
99
00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:43,319
I think you need to manage
your expectations, babe.
100
00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:46,399
I've got some news of my
own, actually. Oh, yeah?
101
00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:50,879
Chris has asked me to
move in with him. No way.
102
00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:54,079
How are you going to shake that off?
Well, I think I'm going to do it.
103
00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:56,959
You're going to move in with
him? You've only just met him.
104
00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:59,719
Well, I think it's serious. How
could you do this to me, Leanne?
105
00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:02,439
Well, I'm not doing
this to you, am I?
106
00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:05,919
We're just ready to take
the next step. Oh, my God!
107
00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:09,719
You'll be picking furniture,
talking about kitchens.
108
00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:11,439
You'll be having a baby next!
109
00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:14,039
Oh, my God. You'll be inviting
me to the baby shower!
110
00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:16,759
Here we go. There'll be no gin.
111
00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:18,439
I'll have to bring my own booze
112
00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:21,479
and talk to your new mum mates
about the primal power of
113
00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:26,359
water births and how they think
their child is a genius. Oh, God.
114
00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:28,199
I feel sick, I need to lie down.
115
00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:30,080
Oh!
116
00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:33,919
Goodbye, my wild friend,
117
00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:36,039
I'll see you in your late-40s.
118
00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:38,959
Don't be ridiculous, Alma!
119
00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:42,279
I would never have a baby
shower without booze.
120
00:05:42,280 --> 00:05:45,519
Anyway, you're the one
leaving to pursue your dreams.
121
00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:48,480
You're finally
getting out of here.
122
00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:55,319
That's true. I
am, aren't I? Yes.
123
00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:57,399
I don't have time for self-pity,
124
00:05:57,400 --> 00:06:00,639
I'm too busy, becoming a star.
125
00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:01,679
Woo!
126
00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:03,959
Star or not, get off me floor!
127
00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:06,320
Oh, shut up, Bill.
Fuck you, Leanne.
128
00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:11,119
How could you? How
could you do it?!
129
00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:16,360
How could you do such an
evil thing?! You disgust me!
130
00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:29,999
Now, that were
beltin', wasn't it?
131
00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:34,279
Me bloody top. You all right,
Lesley? Look, it's all stretched.
132
00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:35,999
But she really felt
it, didn't she?
133
00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:38,559
I did! Yeah, so did my top.
134
00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:41,559
That's why she got into t'theatre
company and you lot didn't.
135
00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:44,199
Me mam got me this and
everything, it was new.
136
00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:47,079
Oh, shut up moaning, Lesley.
It's a minging top, anyway.
137
00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:49,559
[DOOR BANGS OPEN]
138
00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:51,720
[SLURRING:] I'm looking
for me daughter.
139
00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:55,679
She's going to be a star!
140
00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:57,599
Mum, what are you doing?
141
00:06:57,600 --> 00:07:02,239
I've just come to tell you that
I'm OK with you abandoning me.
142
00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:07,319
I'll be fine. I'm glad
you're following your dreams.
143
00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:09,079
Yeah, no, that's all right.
144
00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:11,999
That's great. I should've
been... Yeah... a star meself,
145
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:14,679
but it's not that easy for all
of us. Let's not go into that.
146
00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:16,799
Not when your mum tells
the doctor... Oh, no.
147
00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:19,479
..you're a loony-tune just
after you've given birth.
148
00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:23,039
Don't need to go into that, I don't
think. I had postpartum. Yeah.
149
00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:25,039
That's all it was!
Yeah, probably. Come on.
150
00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:26,759
I thought Simon Le Bon
151
00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:30,719
was talking to me through
the television. Yeah.
152
00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:34,319
But who didn't? It
was the '90s! Yeah.
153
00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:37,040
I still think he might
have been. I'm sure he was.
154
00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:40,479
Have you taken anything, Mum?
155
00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:44,119
No. No, I've just had a bit of
gin. I just needed it, Alma,
156
00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:45,919
I needed to take the edge off.
157
00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:48,679
OK. Yeah. Right, well,
just, you stay there.
158
00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:50,319
Yeah. I'm going to get my stuff.
159
00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:52,920
Yes. Just stay right
there. Right. Yeah.
160
00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:59,879
Simon... Simon Le-bloody-Bon,
161
00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:03,079
and his Boomtown
Rat, Shakermaker.
162
00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:04,120
Phew.
163
00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:08,839
She's not in.
164
00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:11,920
Right. Great. She's not in.
165
00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:18,400
OK. Ready? Mm.
166
00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:23,479
[SHE BLOWS A RASPBERRY]
167
00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:26,799
Oh, you're going the
rogue route? Yeah.
168
00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:29,919
Are you sure about that? Yeah.
169
00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:31,840
Good, yeah. Very good.
170
00:08:33,560 --> 00:08:35,679
I'd probably roll at this point.
171
00:08:35,680 --> 00:08:37,999
Just give it a... Yeah. Yeah.
172
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,639
Sorry, Alma.
173
00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:40,960
It's all right, Mum.
174
00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:43,960
But you can't do this again.
175
00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:48,720
We need to stay on track.
176
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,719
You will get rehoused
eventually, Mum.
177
00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:57,479
But if you relapse
178
00:08:57,480 --> 00:08:59,199
and they find out,
you'll be screwed.
179
00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:00,599
Well, don't leave me, then.
180
00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:02,880
I can't do this
without you, Alma.
181
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:10,039
I know, Mum. It's all right.
182
00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:12,120
You just get some rest.
183
00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:16,640
Mm. Hm.
184
00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:21,519
Given Mum's current situation,
185
00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:25,439
it's probably not the right
time to go gallivanting on tour.
186
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:28,519
But I'm not the first Nuttall
woman to put her dreams on hold.
187
00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:30,719
Grandma did it. Where the
bloody hell do you think
188
00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:33,039
you're going dressed like
that, Joanie? Mind your own.
189
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:35,199
[MUSIC: Don't Bring Me
Down by the Pretty Things]
190
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:38,159
♪ I'm on my own Just wanna roam
191
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,479
♪ I tell you, man
192
00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:43,079
♪ Don't want a home
193
00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:44,399
♪ I wander round... ♪
194
00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:46,799
We could hitchhike
to Dover, get a ferry
195
00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:50,279
and travel through France. I
want to see the world. I want to
196
00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:52,519
eat a croissant, ride a camel.
197
00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:55,280
[BABY SCREAMS AND CRIES]
198
00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:06,319
And so did my mum.
199
00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:10,079
Oh, shut up! What do you
know, eh? What do you know?
200
00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:12,119
Get out... and good riddance!
201
00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:13,599
[MUSIC: Stand Strong
by Vice Squad]
202
00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:17,719
♪ They'll tell you now
you're old enough... ♪
203
00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:19,479
Oh, for God's sake,
204
00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:22,559
what ARE you wearing?
Mind your own.
205
00:10:22,560 --> 00:10:25,960
Don't you talk to me like
that, you little madam!
206
00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:31,320
♪ So you'll always
face the ground... ♪
207
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,919
A scholarship to art college,
208
00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:41,199
can you believe it? I'll be
whizzing round London, doing me art.
209
00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:43,959
You're not going to
fucking art college!
210
00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:47,279
You need a proper
job, a proper career.
211
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:49,400
[BABY SCREAMS AND CRIES]
212
00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:55,160
[SCREAMING CONTINUES]
213
00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:05,800
Oh!
214
00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:10,279
[SHE SCOFFS]
215
00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:11,560
As if!
216
00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:19,559
[SHE MOANS]
217
00:11:19,560 --> 00:11:23,319
I think I'm allergic to alcohol.
218
00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:24,760
It's the sulphates.
219
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:30,839
Sulphates? You
had six fishbowls.
220
00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:33,199
This is an allergic
reaction, Anthony.
221
00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:34,960
[HE SNIGGERS]
222
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:39,040
Oh!
223
00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:43,439
I've got the appetite
of a truck driver
224
00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:46,359
and the constitution
of a Victorian child.
225
00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:47,959
[SHE SIGHS]
226
00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:50,799
I think you should drink
fishbowls more often, me.
227
00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:54,159
You were a right little
nympho. Was I? Mm. Oh!
228
00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:57,599
[THEY CHUCKLE] Fabulous! Oh, wow.
229
00:11:57,600 --> 00:11:59,439
[HE MUTTERS]
230
00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:01,039
My insides are vibrating -
231
00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:02,679
that's not normal, that, is it?
232
00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:04,799
Oh, will you just stop moaning?
233
00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:06,600
Don't swish me, I'll be sick.
234
00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:09,920
[SHE MOANS AND CLEARS HER THROAT]
235
00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:15,159
I think you're right not
to go on this tour, though.
236
00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:17,440
It'd be dead tight on
your mum, wouldn't it?
237
00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:22,999
You're a cheeky
fuck, aren't you?
238
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:25,800
[SCOFFING:] What?! I
see right through you.
239
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:32,200
Nah, I just think it's time
for us to give it another go.
240
00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,239
I'm not with Rachel any more...
241
00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:38,680
..and, well, you're
not off gallivanting.
242
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:45,040
Hm. I want you back,
Alma. I need you.
243
00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:48,680
I don't ever want
to not have you.
244
00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:57,479
Oh, God.
245
00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:59,360
Do you think you can
die from a hangover?
246
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,319
Ooft!
247
00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:05,559
TV: Now, the remaining chefs...
248
00:13:05,560 --> 00:13:08,920
Well, I'm glad you're
back. Aw, ta, Trish!
249
00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:11,679
I never liked Rachel anyway.
250
00:13:11,680 --> 00:13:13,559
Yeah, you did, Mum.
251
00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:15,879
You're full of shit,
you. No, I didn't,
252
00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:19,079
I'm just a very
well-mannered person, me.
253
00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:21,039
[TRISH BURPS]
254
00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:23,200
Oh, you're a beast,
is what you are.
255
00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:28,399
How come you've never
got your own cigs?
256
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:31,519
Cos I've quit. Fuck's sake.
257
00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:35,679
TV: One of the youngest chefs to
ever receive two Michelin stars.
258
00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:37,199
[TRISH BURPS]
259
00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:39,999
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYS]
Six, seven and woo!
260
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,319
You went a bit fast
there, didn't you? Woohoo!
261
00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:44,439
Watch Cheryl - I'm
teacher, watch me.
262
00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:46,479
Here we go. One, and two,
and three. That's it.
263
00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:47,959
You should've seen her, Leanne.
264
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:50,440
Pissed out of her head,
she was. So I've decided...
265
00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:53,799
..I'm not going
to go on the tour.
266
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:56,799
Fuck! You've got to go!
267
00:13:56,800 --> 00:14:00,239
It's just... it's too much of
a risk. Pay attention, girls!
268
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:01,959
Have you seen her
nostrils flare?
269
00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:04,479
[CHERYL CLEARS HER
THROAT] That's it.
270
00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:06,599
That's what we are
here for, isn't it?
271
00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:08,719
Get those lovely tight,
fit bodies, girls.
272
00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:09,760
[PHONE BEEPS] Oh!
273
00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:14,399
Who you texting?
274
00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:15,799
Erm, just smear results.
275
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,839
All clear, so, just...
276
00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:18,880
Anthony?
277
00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:22,039
You've got to be
fucking kidding me!
278
00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:23,559
He's not that bad.
279
00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:25,479
He's a narcissistic predator.
280
00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:27,519
That's not all he is.
281
00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:30,319
He's actually very
charismatic and charming.
282
00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:31,880
So was Ted Bundy.
283
00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:40,399
Have you got any oat milk?
284
00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:41,519
Eh?
285
00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:43,199
What's with the plastic cups?
286
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:46,599
He's not allowed to touch
pottery now, only plastic things.
287
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:48,319
Right. Tea's ready.
288
00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:50,959
OK, let's do this.
289
00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:53,919
[BOTH:] One, two, three
290
00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:55,999
and pass.
291
00:14:56,000 --> 00:15:00,639
Two, three. Fantastic,
Jim. Well done.
292
00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:04,359
We find the counting really
helps him keep a steady hand.
293
00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:06,160
There you go.
294
00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:14,319
So, how have you been?
295
00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:17,519
Bored! I've done fuck all since
the last time you came round.
296
00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:20,959
Have you done anything
about me housing yet?
297
00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:23,239
As I've explained before, Lin,
298
00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:24,879
this will take time.
299
00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:27,319
So, the board are really
supportive of you being
300
00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:29,039
independent at some point.
301
00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:30,319
[SHE SCOFFS]
302
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:32,319
They just need to
monitor your wellbeing
303
00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:33,959
and your progress
for a little longer.
304
00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:36,319
What else do they need
to fucking monitor?
305
00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:38,959
I'm poked, prodded and
plucked every fucking day!
306
00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:43,799
Oh, do you know, the melodrama of my
daughter is fucking suffocating me!
307
00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:47,959
Me? You! You've always
been a drama queen!
308
00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:51,759
H-How dare you!
I'm a wallflower!
309
00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:55,119
Oh, yeah, 'course you are.
My mother, the wallflower.
310
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:58,519
I know what you're about to
say, and don't you start!
311
00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:01,879
OK? I did the best I could
with the hand I was dealt.
312
00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:05,399
Fuck this! I've had
enough! Oh, God!
313
00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:08,879
Mum! Where are you going?
314
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,879
I need to get out of here
for a bit, I feel hemmed in.
315
00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:13,559
Everything OK over there?
316
00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:15,359
Yes, fine, thank you, Sandra.
317
00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:17,679
She's a nosy fucking bitch.
318
00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:20,319
Excuse me? It's
horrible round here.
319
00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:23,519
Fucking Sandra poking her
nose in every five seconds.
320
00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:27,999
And everybody with the same fucking
flower beds, one after the other,
321
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,759
because heaven forbid
you might mix it up a bit
322
00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:32,719
and try summat different.
323
00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:35,519
Like a bunch of fucking
fascists, this lot.
324
00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:38,399
And, yes, that
includes you, Sandra!
325
00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:41,719
Same day, every day...
326
00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:43,639
[BING-BING-BING.]
327
00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:45,839
"Ooh, there's my
little alarm again.
328
00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:48,599
"I better get me little
socks on me little feet
329
00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:51,279
"and go downstairs, AGAIN."
330
00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:54,799
"Hello, Julie."
"Oh, hello, Sandra.
331
00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:57,319
"Fancy a cup of tea, Sandra?"
332
00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:59,519
"Oh, go on then, Julie."
333
00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:01,439
"Hang the washing up, Sandra."
334
00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:04,319
"Do the pots, Julie."
335
00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:06,880
"Eh, it's 8pm."
336
00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:10,519
"Nearly time for bed, Julie."
337
00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:13,879
"Oh, thank fuck
for that, Sandra."
338
00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:16,119
"Yes, what a relief.
339
00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:18,879
"The day is nearly fucking over.
340
00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:21,079
"Only two hours
341
00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:24,679
"and 40 fucking years to go!"
342
00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:26,160
Oh!
343
00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:28,559
Oh!
344
00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:30,279
[DOG BARKS]
345
00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:32,519
And you're telling
me she's on the mend?
346
00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:34,919
Do I need to call
the police, ladies?
347
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:36,680
[BOTH:] Fuck off, Sandra.
348
00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:45,319
Sue.
349
00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:46,719
Do you know where my mum is?
350
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:49,000
Tea Towel Tracy's. Right.
351
00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:52,359
Who's that? Tracy.
352
00:17:52,360 --> 00:17:53,759
One hand.
353
00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:55,519
Wears a tea towel
over her stump.
354
00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:57,439
Sells smack on the side.
355
00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:59,359
Lovely.
356
00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:01,040
This one.
357
00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:15,160
Hello, Tracy, can I speak to...?
358
00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:19,040
Charming.
359
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:23,239
Mum, it's time to go.
360
00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:25,040
I'm not coming back, Alma.
361
00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:28,240
Please, Mum?
362
00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:32,040
You've been doing
really well recently.
363
00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:35,960
We're all here to support you.
364
00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:39,120
Don't give up now.
365
00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:43,440
Two days. Just give
me two days, Alma.
366
00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:47,279
If you don't come back now,
they're going to report you.
367
00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:50,160
I'm... I'm just blowing
off a bit of steam, Alma.
368
00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:53,399
You can't be doing drugs,
Mum, you know that.
369
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:54,599
It's Friday night.
370
00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:57,999
Everybody blows off a bit
of steam on Friday night.
371
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,959
Crack and smack are not normal
ways to blow off steam, Mum.
372
00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:03,039
We all have our vices, Alma.
373
00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:05,479
You drink too much red wine.
374
00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:07,479
I've never locked
myself in a bathroom
375
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,359
and screamed at the
walls on red wine, Mum.
376
00:19:09,360 --> 00:19:10,800
Not yet.
377
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:14,680
I'll be back in
a couple of days.
378
00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:18,040
No, Mum.
379
00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:21,239
Either you come back now...
380
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:23,959
..or me and Grandma
are going home
381
00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:26,880
and this whole attempt to get
you better will have failed.
382
00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:32,279
I'm not prepared to help
at the expense of mine
383
00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:34,400
and Grandma's safety and sanity.
384
00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:38,240
You've got to do
your bit as well.
385
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,880
I'll give you five seconds.
386
00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:51,000
Mum?
387
00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:03,200
Come on, love.
388
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,520
Let's go home, eh?
389
00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:08,920
[SHE WHIMPERS]
390
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:15,520
♪ Poetry is no place for
a heart that's a whore
391
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:21,839
♪ And I'm young and I'm strong
392
00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:24,639
♪ But I feel old and tired
393
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:25,960
♪ Overfired
394
00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:29,879
♪ And I've been poked and stoked
395
00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:33,159
♪ It's all smoke
There's no more fire
396
00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:34,960
♪ Only desire
397
00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:38,440
♪ For you, whoever you are
398
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:42,479
♪ For you, whoever you are... ♪
399
00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:44,320
She's fucked it, hasn't she?
400
00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:47,240
Yeah.
401
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:51,999
[SHE SIGHS]
402
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,120
We came so close.
403
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:56,519
Everything was there.
404
00:20:56,520 --> 00:21:01,719
A whole team of professionals
committed to getting her well.
405
00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:03,200
I know.
406
00:21:05,120 --> 00:21:06,440
It's exhausting.
407
00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:09,679
Well, I've been telling
you that for years.
408
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,720
All right, Grandma. It's not
an "I told you so" moment.
409
00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:19,919
As soon as she was born, I knew
something was wrong with her.
410
00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:21,959
I had that dream just
days before. Yes.
411
00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:23,759
The one about the slug.
The one where the...
412
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:26,599
Yeah. Yeah. You gave birth
to a giant, evil slug.
413
00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:29,360
I know. It was a message,
that dream, Alma.
414
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:34,280
I just knew.
415
00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:38,359
From... From the
moment she arrived,
416
00:21:38,360 --> 00:21:40,639
I knew everything was
going to be terrifying.
417
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:42,839
And it was.
418
00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:44,320
Mm.
419
00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:49,439
Do you know, when someone dies,
you can go and put flowers
420
00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:54,160
on their grave and cry and
wail and everybody gets it.
421
00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:58,279
You know, people send you
commiseration cards and you have
422
00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:01,880
anniversaries and self-contained
spaces for your grief.
423
00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:05,839
But with someone like
Mum, nobody gets it.
424
00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:07,719
Not even me.
425
00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:10,280
How do you grieve
for the living dead?
426
00:22:14,360 --> 00:22:16,280
I never wanted to be a mother.
427
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:19,240
I never felt maternal.
428
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:23,440
I never liked babies.
429
00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:28,079
I wasn't interested in children.
430
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:30,480
Motherhood just happened to me.
431
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:36,799
I'd have suited being
a man much better.
432
00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:39,439
Think you're probably right.
433
00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:41,080
I wish I could've been...
434
00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:46,800
..better at it.
435
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:51,559
Kinder...
436
00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:53,160
..to you both.
437
00:22:55,360 --> 00:22:57,800
If I'd been in a
different place...
438
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:01,319
If I'd been able to love more...
439
00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:03,599
[SHE SOBS]
440
00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:05,240
If I'd have had...
441
00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:10,000
You did your best, Grandma.
442
00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:14,519
[SHE SNIFFLES]
443
00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:17,360
I want you to get out of this
horrible fucking nightmare.
444
00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:24,159
This hangover of poverty and
trauma that's lingered through
445
00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:28,159
the generations of
women in our family...
446
00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:30,200
..and taken our
dreams from us...
447
00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:35,600
..I want you to be the one
that breaks free, Alma.
448
00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:45,200
No fucking pressure then, eh?
449
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:49,559
[THEY CHUCKLE]
450
00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:52,759
♪ You bloody
motherfucking asshole
451
00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:56,519
♪ Oh, you bloody
motherfucking asshole
452
00:23:56,520 --> 00:24:01,119
♪ Oh, you bloody
motherfucking asshole
453
00:24:01,120 --> 00:24:05,199
♪ Oh, you bloody
motherfucking asshole
454
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:07,760
♪ Oh, you bloody
motherfucking asshole... ♪
455
00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:10,639
[KNOCK AT DOOR]
456
00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:12,560
You ready? Yeah.
457
00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:18,280
Hello, come in.
458
00:24:21,120 --> 00:24:22,920
Take a seat.
459
00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:28,440
Do you want a drink? Yeah, ta.
460
00:24:35,360 --> 00:24:36,720
Leanne.
461
00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:39,960
What, you got the
day off? Yeah.
462
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:44,159
Right. So, I've decided -
463
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:46,759
I'm going to go on
the tour, Anthony.
464
00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:48,199
You what? Why?
465
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:49,999
I thought... I thought
we spoke about this.
466
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:52,639
You weren't going to go cos of your
mum and stuff. Mm, yes, I know.
467
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:54,599
You did put in quite
a good campaign,
468
00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:57,079
but then I was just
thinking to myself,
469
00:24:57,080 --> 00:25:01,399
you know, this bargain-basement
offer of love you proposed me...
470
00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:04,839
..I've decided - I don't
think it's good enough.
471
00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:06,159
Oh, right!
472
00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:08,559
You have, have you?
Right, OK. Yeah, I have.
473
00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:10,919
I mean, I know you've really
tried recently to be lovely,
474
00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:13,599
and you have been quite
lovely. Hasn't he?
475
00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:15,279
Hm, maybe not.
476
00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:19,160
And you did almost make me forget
what a fucking cunt-bag you can be.
477
00:25:21,120 --> 00:25:23,719
Right. OK. Really?
478
00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:26,959
Right. So what I decided to do, is
just write down a list, didn't I,
479
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:29,440
of just a few examples?
Yeah, she did.
480
00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:34,039
This is her doing, is it?
No, I can write for myself.
481
00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:36,479
Can you? Yeah. Yeah,
right, so if...
482
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:39,559
Can I...? This is... this
is fucking baffling, this.
483
00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:42,200
I mean, lists,
security on't door.
484
00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:46,039
If you want to dump me, Alma,
just do it in a normal way.
485
00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:47,999
I'm not normal, though, am I?
486
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:51,759
Number one, you shagged my
old best mate behind my back.
487
00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:53,599
I was just being friendly.
488
00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:55,599
We got a bit carried away.
489
00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:57,039
A bit too friendly.
490
00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:59,959
Number two, you gave me
chlamydia five times.
491
00:25:59,960 --> 00:26:02,399
I practically had a VIP
pass to the clap clinic.
492
00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:04,919
Yeah, we spoke about
that. I apologised.
493
00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:06,639
Number three.
494
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:08,999
When we first broke up, you
posted naked pictures of me
495
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:10,279
all over the internet.
496
00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:12,839
Come on, that were funny,
though. It got a big woof, that.
497
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:16,359
No, it was humiliating,
and it was abuse.
498
00:26:16,360 --> 00:26:17,999
That's a bit dramatic.
499
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:20,719
And then you sent a video of
us having sex to Leanne's Mum.
500
00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:22,199
Yeah, I was pissed
off at the time.
501
00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:23,999
Come on, we've all
acted out of anger.
502
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:25,999
My mum wants to rip
your fucking cock off.
503
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:27,799
Oh, right, ta. She
sounds delightful.
504
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:30,399
I mean, I can't believe I went
back when I'm looking at this list,
505
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:33,120
to be honest. What number
am I on now? Fuck knows.
506
00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:37,599
You smashed up nearly
every phone I've ever had.
507
00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:39,479
You've pulled out my hair.
508
00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:41,240
SIT THE FUCK DOWN!
509
00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:45,399
You dumped me and knocked
up a teenage girl,
510
00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:47,039
and then you dumped her.
511
00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:50,239
You've told me every single
day, in one way or another,
512
00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:53,199
that I'm mad, ugly
and unlovable.
513
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:54,560
Do you know what?
514
00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:58,959
I don't want to get stuck here
with you. Yeah, all right, fine.
515
00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:01,999
You don't want to go
out with me, fine.
516
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:03,479
Yeah, I know what I am.
517
00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:05,519
Right? I've tried.
518
00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:08,200
I-I've really tried
not to be a cunt.
519
00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:11,760
But I am one.
520
00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:14,280
I know.
521
00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:17,480
Can I go now? Yeah.
522
00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:21,479
And I suggest you go back
to the mother of your child
523
00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:24,759
and provide them with the love
and support that they deserve.
524
00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:26,240
Noted.
525
00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:40,879
Yeah, and don't come back.
526
00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:42,279
[DOOR SHUTS]
527
00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:44,200
Woo! I did it.
528
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:46,959
I've done it.
529
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:49,479
I did the whole
list and he's gone.
530
00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:51,319
I'm free! You're free!
531
00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:53,559
Yes!
532
00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:57,040
♪ Uptight downtown
533
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:02,039
♪ All the blue lights
fighting with the crowds
534
00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:05,599
♪ And now I know the
temperature is rising
535
00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:06,799
♪ Is rising... ♪
536
00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:08,599
I'm going on tour.
537
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:12,240
♪ Uptight downtown
538
00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:17,799
♪ All the blue lights
fighting with the crowds
539
00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:21,279
♪ And now I know the
temperature is rising
540
00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:23,519
♪ Is rising
541
00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:26,039
♪ The streets are
lined with people
542
00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:30,959
♪ With nothing left
to lose, lose, lose
543
00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:34,199
♪ When did all these people
544
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:37,320
♪ Decide to change their
shoes, shoes, shoes...? ♪
40496
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