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00:00:02,160 --> 00:00:05,160
[MUSIC: Fabulous by
Freestylers and Scarlett Quinn]
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00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:16,440
♪ Everybody knows I
think she's fabulous. ♪
3
00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:21,279
So...
4
00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:23,160
What have you got
to say for yourself?
5
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:32,559
[IN EXAGGERATED SCOTTISH
ACCENT:] I've already said
6
00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:33,839
I did not commit the murder.
7
00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:35,999
[GROANING] God...
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00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:37,599
For God's sake, Brian,
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00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:39,840
just take Scottish off your CV.
10
00:00:41,680 --> 00:00:42,880
Tit.
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Right, moving on.
12
00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:48,359
Now, have you seen
this? Big news.
13
00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:53,319
"A Theatre Company is looking
for dynamic talent..."
14
00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:55,839
That's you lot, yeah?
15
00:00:55,840 --> 00:01:00,719
"to join their production
for a national tour
16
00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:03,119
"for six months." Ooh!
17
00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:05,959
"Particular focus
will be on BAME..."
18
00:01:05,960 --> 00:01:07,879
Your time has
finally come, Brian.
19
00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:09,720
Just don't do Scottish.
20
00:01:10,960 --> 00:01:13,359
"and working class."
21
00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:15,199
All o' yer.
22
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,519
Especially you, Tina. You what?!
23
00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:19,799
Oh, come on, Tina, love,
who are you kidding?
24
00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:21,679
You're rough as a dog's bollock.
25
00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:25,639
For whatever reason - who knows?
- working-class people
26
00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:27,440
are in fashion now.
27
00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:31,000
We're like an exotic fruit.
28
00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:35,760
So, juice that
motherfucker, kids.
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00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:39,719
Juice it.
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00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:42,360
[RELAXING MUSIC]
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00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:06,439
Do you know what?
32
00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:08,239
I'm going to call this Siobhan.
33
00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:11,199
Do it, babe. Yeah, I will.
34
00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,479
[RINGING TONE]
35
00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:16,199
Golden Rose Theatre
Company? Hello, Siobhan!
36
00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:18,079
Or... or do people
call you, Shiv?
37
00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:19,679
Anyway.
38
00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:23,399
I'm just calling about your audition
for the touring theatre company.
39
00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:26,159
It... it says that you're
looking for working-class actors.
40
00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:28,799
Sorry, love, all the working
class slots 'ave gone.
41
00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:31,759
Have you got 'owt else,
love? What do you mean?
42
00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:33,439
Disability?
43
00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:36,239
Well, I don't process
dairy well, if that counts?
44
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:39,440
No, love. Are you black,
Asian, minority ethnic?
45
00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:42,279
Could I be black?
46
00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:44,159
No, babe. OK.
47
00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:46,679
I'm not black, but I am ginger.
48
00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:47,759
No, love.
49
00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:51,439
Well, according to Ancestry.com,
you can actually trace
50
00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:55,159
our family tree all the way back
to the foothills of Nicaragua so...
51
00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:56,599
Are you LGBQT?
52
00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:58,399
Well, what is sexuality, Shiv?
53
00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:00,639
I mean, that's up for
grabs, in't it, really?
54
00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:02,439
Not on this form, it's not.
55
00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:04,239
Are you care experienced?
56
00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:06,239
Been through the care system?
57
00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:09,119
Yeah... Yeah, I am.
I've got that one.
58
00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:12,760
Yes. I have actually been in and out
the care system since day dot, Shiv.
59
00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:16,359
For someone who's never
gone past the M62,
60
00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:19,199
I'm very well travelled. I've
stayed in a lot of places,
61
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:21,479
and not all of them would
get a glowing review
62
00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:24,199
on TripAdvisor, I can
tell you that much.
63
00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:27,319
Garstang Estate. Felt
more like a holiday camp.
64
00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:28,879
All the kids ran riot.
65
00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:30,199
We didn't have to go to school,
66
00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:32,439
and thought the local
drug dealer was our uncle.
67
00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:34,800
Uncle Tony! Uncle Tony!
All right, cockers!
68
00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:41,239
Then I took a short
stay on a farm,
69
00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:44,559
where I became the sole carer of
a one-legged chicken named Klaus.
70
00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:47,079
I was given strict instructions
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00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:49,879
to feed him when he was hungry,
talk to him when he was lonely,
72
00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:51,519
and prop him up
when he fell over.
73
00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:53,159
It was a political
awakening for me,
74
00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:55,640
fighting for the rights
of a disabled chicken.
75
00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:01,199
Then Grandma's house.
76
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,759
Not the warmest of
welcomes from the host.
77
00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:05,359
I don't want her here.
78
00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:07,959
You're forcing her on
me, and it's not fair.
79
00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:09,439
But the decor was intriguing,
80
00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:11,639
and the breakfast
authentically northern.
81
00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:14,120
She's going to be just like her
mother, I can tell by the ears.
82
00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:19,959
Jan's house.
83
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:21,799
No concept of
personal boundaries.
84
00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:24,119
Would happily chat to me
about her difficult divorce
85
00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:25,840
when I was clearly busy.
86
00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:30,879
Maud's house.
87
00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:33,479
Certainly a pet-friendly
environment.
88
00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:35,159
[SLURPING]
89
00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:36,880
Perhaps TOO friendly.
90
00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:43,719
OK. Well, you'll need a letter
of support from social services,
91
00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:45,719
and then we can secure
you an audition.
92
00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:48,239
Oh, that's fantastic.
Thank you very much.
93
00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:50,799
Fabulous. [LINE CUTS OFF]
94
00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:53,199
I think I've got an
audition. Well done, babe.
95
00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:54,559
Do you know what?
96
00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:57,399
I knew having a fucked-up
childhood would pay off eventually.
97
00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:59,200
To your fucked-up
childhood. Whoo!
98
00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:05,280
Ticket number 22
to desk 6, please.
99
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,519
Poor fuckers, social workers.
100
00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:11,519
They deal with loads
of harrowing stuff,
101
00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:14,839
take shit off everyone and
never get a lunch break.
102
00:05:14,840 --> 00:05:16,599
I had loads growing up.
103
00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:18,199
They always look knackered,
104
00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:19,559
love a bloody cardigan
105
00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:21,920
and look like they drink
too much red wine mid-week.
106
00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:25,959
My first social worker was called
Beakface. She used to take me
107
00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:27,719
on these dinner
dates to the chippy
108
00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:29,919
then write up a report
about it afterwards.
109
00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:33,119
Like some sort of shit
TripAdvisor for troubled kids.
110
00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:35,039
Alma was in a difficult mood.
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00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:37,879
She would only refer to me as
Beakface and threw chips at me
112
00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:39,159
throughout the meal.
113
00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:40,799
She told me she didn't like me,
114
00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:43,559
she didn't like her foster parents
and she wanted to live on her own.
115
00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:45,679
Do you want a drink to
go with them or anything?
116
00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:49,079
I always saw myself in a fully
furnished Manhattan apartment.
117
00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:51,519
Never really understood
what I was doing in Bolton
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00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:53,400
with all these twatty bastards.
119
00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:57,199
Good butty?
120
00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:58,679
Sorry.
121
00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:01,279
Hello. Didn't know
you were there.
122
00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:02,999
How can I help?
123
00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:06,559
So, er, Debbie, I'm auditioning
for a theatre company,
124
00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:09,079
and I've got to prove
that I'm care experienced.
125
00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:11,759
So, I just need a letter
from you guys, to say, "Yeah,
126
00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:15,439
"she was with us, her life were a
bit shit, let her in your company."
127
00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:17,679
That sort of
thing. Great, yeah.
128
00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:19,519
Good for you, love.
Have you got your form?
129
00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:21,280
Yeah. Here you go.
130
00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:25,399
I want to be a famous
actress, Debbie.
131
00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:27,679
Do you know, loads of
people like me are actors?
132
00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:29,439
Kathy Burke was in care.
133
00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:31,759
Marilyn Monroe was an orphan.
134
00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:34,279
God, I could be Bolton's
very own Marilyn.
135
00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:37,159
Pierce Brosnan - he was actually
fostered by his grandparents.
136
00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:39,800
I could be the next James Bond!
137
00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:43,199
We have a lot of
information about you here.
138
00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:46,599
Yeah? We could put in a request
to get your records posted to you,
139
00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:48,839
if you like? I
mean, yeah, go on.
140
00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:51,199
I mean, anything about
me is always interesting.
141
00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:53,320
I'm my favourite
subject, Debbie!
142
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,399
Right.
143
00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:10,120
How do you hold yours, Julie?
144
00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:13,719
Thank you, everybody
here. I'm overwhelmed.
145
00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:16,599
I can't believe it, erm,
three nominations in one night
146
00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:19,319
and a standing ovation. I
mean, it's a lot, isn't it?
147
00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:21,519
But, erm, yeah, deserved.
148
00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:24,319
Erm, and, yeah,
I'm very grateful.
149
00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:27,239
I-I'd also to thank my
ex-boyfriend, actually,
150
00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:30,399
because he cheated on me
with essentially a foetus,
151
00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:35,159
cos if it wasn't for him providing
that kind of "fuck you" feeling, um,
152
00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:38,559
I wouldn't be at the stratosphere
that you see me at today.
153
00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:40,520
[KNOCK AT DOOR] Oh.
154
00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:50,119
My records are here.
155
00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:51,520
Oh.
156
00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:07,319
[WOMAN:] I arrived at
the flat at 10:40am,
157
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,679
to see Alma looking
through the letterbox.
158
00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:10,759
Mum's sick.
159
00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:13,519
No visitors today, Beakface.
160
00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:15,159
She told me she was thirsty
161
00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:17,919
and started trying to drink from an
empty bottle of cider on the floor.
162
00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:20,999
It was noted that there was no food
in the house for her breakfast.
163
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,319
I posted a carton of milk
164
00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:24,439
and a packet of peanuts
through the letterbox.
165
00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:25,959
Ta, Beakface.
166
00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:29,119
Alma shouted at the dog for
defecating in the living room.
167
00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:32,040
Fuck's sake, Benjamin. [DOG BARKS]
168
00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:38,799
[MAN:] On the 21st of October,
169
00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:42,319
Alma was finally removed
from her grandmother's care.
170
00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:45,639
Get 'er bloody well out of
'ere, and don't come back.
171
00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:47,119
I'm divorcing you!
172
00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:48,840
Oh, piss off, you old crow.
173
00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:55,599
Alma was added to the child
protection register under
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00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:57,239
the category "gravely at risk".
175
00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:59,439
Alma's behaviour was difficult
when meeting her mother.
176
00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:01,799
Alma is not making
progress academically.
177
00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:04,079
Several teachers have
refused to teach Alma.
178
00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:06,279
Alma, 16, is living
independently
179
00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:08,839
and struggling to
manage her finances.
180
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:11,079
Alma is an overactive,
oversensitive,
181
00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:12,880
emotionally distressed child.
182
00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:15,960
Fucking hell.
183
00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:30,559
But you're OK?
184
00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:31,759
I mean, yeah.
185
00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:35,759
It's pretty weird having your whole
life handed to you in a box, Leanne.
186
00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:37,759
But I'm fine.
187
00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:40,520
I feel weirdly zen about
the whole thing, actually.
188
00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:43,280
Ooh, I love THAT.
189
00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:53,959
What the hell is this?
190
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,680
A spatula. Yeah.
191
00:09:57,240 --> 00:09:58,839
It's £1.29.
192
00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:00,319
Er, yeah.
193
00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:04,120
It's a 99p shop and
this spatula's £1.29.
194
00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:07,759
Do you see where I'm going
here? Oh, yeah, you're right.
195
00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:09,800
Not everything's actually 99p.
196
00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:14,759
Well, then, why the FUCK
197
00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:17,600
is it called The 99p Shop, Carl?
198
00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:21,959
It's just a kind of
round about figure...
199
00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:25,319
No, it's not "a round
about figure", it's a lie.
200
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:28,479
Because you're selling an idea
that doesn't really exist.
201
00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:32,159
You think, "Oh, I can get
everything I need for 99p."
202
00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:34,119
You feel joy and hope,
203
00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:36,239
and then you realise.
204
00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:39,519
"Aha! This spatula is £1.29!
205
00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:42,559
"I CAN'T get everything I need
for the price I've been promised,
206
00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:44,880
"and I'm being fucked, AGAIN."
207
00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:48,759
Er, sorry?
208
00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:51,599
Well, sometimes sorry's
not good enough, Carl.
209
00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:54,359
I'm actually just
on work experience.
210
00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:55,680
How convenient.
211
00:10:57,080 --> 00:11:02,599
All right, babe, let's take this,
er, spatula and pop it down here
212
00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:04,240
and we'll go this way, OK?
213
00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:07,599
Come on.
214
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:08,920
[MOUTHS]
215
00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:13,639
Maybe you should chat to your
family about these records?
216
00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:16,999
Leanne, I'm fine. I don't
think you're fine, babe.
217
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:18,639
I'm completely fine.
218
00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:20,919
THAT was an injustice, Leanne,
219
00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:24,200
and I can't stand by and
watch injustice happen.
220
00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:29,679
Maybe Leanne's right -
221
00:11:29,680 --> 00:11:34,159
perhaps my family CAN bring some
solace at this difficult time.
222
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:36,879
I don't know whether to
kill myself or get drunk.
223
00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:38,680
Maybe not.
224
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,799
She's been painting in rehab,
now she thinks she's Van Gogh.
225
00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:44,239
Look at my living room.
226
00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:45,639
Oh, my God.
227
00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:47,719
I don't know what
you're moaning about.
228
00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:49,360
The place needed brightening up.
229
00:11:50,680 --> 00:11:52,079
[SMASH!]
230
00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:53,799
Oh, for God's sake, Jim.
231
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,199
J...
232
00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:57,239
That's the third
thing he's broken.
233
00:11:57,240 --> 00:11:58,799
Look at my porcelain dog.
234
00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:00,999
Decapitated.
235
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:04,439
Sorry. It's like an art gallery
for the paranoid in here.
236
00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:09,359
How can I possibly flourish as an
artist in this toxic environment?
237
00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:10,839
You're not an artist.
238
00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:12,319
You're a drug addict.
239
00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:16,359
See? This is how you've always
been, you've never supported me.
240
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:19,360
How dare you?! I've always
supported my children.
241
00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:24,159
Mummy, I need an Easter
bonnet for school.
242
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,079
Oh, love.
243
00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:28,519
You haven't got
the ears for a hat.
244
00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:31,679
Have you seen the centrepiece
your mother kindly made for me?
245
00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:34,959
What is that? My
childhood memoirs.
246
00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:37,239
You see how she uses her
painting as a weapon?
247
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,439
Not everything is
about YOU, Mother.
248
00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:42,519
Right, everybody,
just calm down.
249
00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:45,839
The social worker's coming
round any minute to assess us,
250
00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:49,639
and we've got to prove that
we're a normal, loving family.
251
00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:50,919
How long for?
252
00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:52,320
Ow!
253
00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:55,359
Oh! Oh, for...
254
00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:57,359
He's scared of blood.
255
00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,920
Oh... Jim!
256
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:03,199
[KNOCK AT DOOR ]Oh,
shit, she's here.
257
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,600
Me penis!
258
00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:10,559
I-I'm really sorry, Grandma,
259
00:13:10,560 --> 00:13:13,119
but we don't have time to
mourn your penis right now.
260
00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:14,440
Put it away.
261
00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:19,119
My God...
262
00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:20,920
Just in the lounge.
263
00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:30,000
Few teething problems but, er...
264
00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:35,199
gen... generally good.
265
00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:36,600
I think.
266
00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:40,520
So, how's it going, Lin?
267
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,440
Shite.
268
00:13:56,280 --> 00:14:02,200
♪ These arms of mine were
made for holding you... ♪
269
00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:04,999
What's wrong?
270
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:07,199
You're just sort
of breathing on me.
271
00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:08,639
Oh.
272
00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:10,959
It's quite intense,
hot air in my face.
273
00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:12,639
Sort of loud and smelly.
274
00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:14,679
Right, er...
275
00:14:14,680 --> 00:14:18,679
Maybe try breathing less
or more to the side.
276
00:14:18,680 --> 00:14:19,920
OK.
277
00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:28,559
Ugh! I can't breathe.
278
00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:30,120
I didn't mean hold your breath.
279
00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:32,719
I've lost it now.
280
00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:34,120
He's gone.
281
00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:39,559
Have you thought about
going to the doctor's?
282
00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:41,399
You might have a
sinus obstruction.
283
00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:43,040
Could be affecting your sleep?
284
00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:48,639
Oh, God... Just had
Ray Ray on the phone.
285
00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:50,079
She's pissed.
286
00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:52,159
That guy just left a
terrible review on the site.
287
00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:54,239
Clients get to write reviews?
288
00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:55,679
For fuck's sake.
289
00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:59,599
It was just like having
sex with my wife - awful.
290
00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:02,319
Is there anybody who doesn't get to
write down what they think of me?
291
00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:04,279
You can't treat
clients like that.
292
00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:06,319
It's rude. His breath was rude.
293
00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:09,360
It was like having sex with a
pug that'd been on a long walk.
294
00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:12,560
[ENGINE STARTS]
295
00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:26,119
Hi! Hello. Do you fancy
popping to the pub?
296
00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:27,559
I'd love to,
297
00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,279
but I'm with Chris tonight,
298
00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:32,119
and we're a bit tied
up, aren't we, love?
299
00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:33,599
No worries.
300
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:34,800
Bye.
301
00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:41,520
Could you pull in just here?
302
00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:57,120
What is it, love?
303
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,040
Nothing.
304
00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:02,280
Keep going.
305
00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:21,799
[VOICES OVERLAP AND ECHO:] Alma is
not making progress academically.
306
00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:24,679
Alma reminds me of her
mother. Very vindictive.
307
00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:27,039
Alma has a frantic
quality about her play.
308
00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:28,319
Alma will struggle.
309
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,199
Alma is defiant.
310
00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:31,239
Fuck this.
311
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,240
Fuck this.
312
00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:37,639
[MUSIC: Bingo Bango
by Basement Jaxx]
313
00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:40,160
[THEY CHANT]
314
00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:50,479
[CHEERING]
315
00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:52,400
You should've opened
your gullet, Steve!
316
00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:54,800
Shots on me!
317
00:16:57,920 --> 00:16:59,480
Girl power!
318
00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:04,119
Girl power!
319
00:17:04,120 --> 00:17:07,000
[CHATTER STOPS ABRUPTLY]
Whoo! Come on!
320
00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:20,079
All I'm saying... is I don't
have any money right now,
321
00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:23,799
cos I've actually been very
charitable myself this evening,
322
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:27,039
but I will have
money in the future.
323
00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:32,919
So I just need you to
temporarily, temporarily, Youseff,
324
00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:36,239
lend me a kebab, huh?
325
00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:40,839
And then I'll pay it
back, with interest.
326
00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:42,080
No.
327
00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:09,600
Oi!
328
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:12,479
Put it back!
329
00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:13,919
Put the kebab back!
330
00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:15,439
Oi!
331
00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:17,360
Bring that kebab back!
332
00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:21,160
Bring that kebab back!
333
00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:26,360
Roger that, over.
334
00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:32,400
[HORN BEEPS]
335
00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:38,719
Now, don't you start.
336
00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:40,279
Thanks for picking me up.
337
00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:41,479
You bloody nutter.
338
00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:43,359
Well, it takes one to know one.
339
00:18:43,360 --> 00:18:46,039
No, look, I'm-I'm
glad you called.
340
00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:48,519
Are you all right?
Yeah, I'm fine.
341
00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:52,959
Just, you know, nicked a kebab,
chased by the police down the road.
342
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:55,039
Spent the night in a cell.
343
00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:58,639
I couldn't get hold of Leanne,
that's why I called you.
344
00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:00,639
Well, I'm always here
for you, you know.
345
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,360
Thanks.
346
00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:08,719
What are you doing?
347
00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:10,399
Well, I just thought,
like, you know?
348
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,080
Well, you thought wrong.
349
00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:17,119
Just take me home. All right.
350
00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:18,960
Cool your jets. Jesus.
351
00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:39,679
[VOICES ECHO:] Alma is rude,
disruptive and verbally abusive
352
00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:43,159
in class. Alma is
an overactive child.
353
00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:46,920
Alma's life to date leaves very
little hope for her future.
354
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:58,279
♪ I never knew how long
355
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:02,479
I could hold my breath
356
00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:10,480
♪ Of my leather dress my hunger
357
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:16,159
♪ Great wall of thunder
358
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:20,759
♪ Why don't you love her?
359
00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:26,999
♪ Lovers don't reappear
360
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:30,479
♪ In my mirror
361
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:36,400
♪ I think I'll wear my new dress
362
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:42,719
♪ They want dress
for success... ♪
363
00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:46,440
Hello? Alma?
364
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:51,000
You left the door on the latch.
365
00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:55,960
Oh.
366
00:20:57,440 --> 00:21:00,760
Fucking hell, Alma,
what happened here?
367
00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:06,400
Just a bit of feng shui. Right.
368
00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:09,479
And arrested? Over kebab meat?
369
00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:10,879
What the fuck, Alma?
370
00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:12,639
Nothing gets past you, does it?
371
00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:15,999
Bill's sister's cousin's mate's
shagging her best mate's boyfriend,
372
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:18,479
who knew the bobby who arrested
you, who apparently actually
373
00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:21,120
recognised you from Lesley's
baby's christening two years ago.
374
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:23,359
Right.
375
00:21:23,360 --> 00:21:25,319
These your records, then?
376
00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:29,719
Yeah. Well, maybe we can
have a look at them together?
377
00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:31,319
Why?
378
00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:34,840
Well, I'd like to actually know
what led to you becoming a felon.
379
00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:39,320
I just really wanted a kebab.
380
00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:44,319
Do you know what's
mad about these?
381
00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:46,159
Right, they write some
proper dark stuff,
382
00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:49,039
and then they just follow it up,
with, like, a dead obvious aside.
383
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:50,519
Like this one. Listen.
384
00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:53,239
"Mental-health social worker..."
I think that says "Colin",
385
00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:55,039
it's redacted.
386
00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:56,759
"arrived at Miss Nuthall's
387
00:21:56,760 --> 00:22:00,599
"and was confronted by a
bearded man waving a hammer."
388
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:03,959
I mean, poor fucking
Colin, to be fair.
389
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:05,999
He defo got the shit
stick at work that day.
390
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,559
"Colin found Lin in a corner of
a room, distressed, screaming
391
00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:11,239
"and talking to people who
were not present in the room."
392
00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:12,559
Then, it says,
393
00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:14,839
"She was also drunk."
394
00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:17,679
By the time you're sort of grappling
with the devil and screaming
395
00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:20,799
at the walls, whether you're
pissed or not is surely irrelevant.
396
00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:22,879
Alma... I know.
397
00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:26,240
Look at this here,
psychology assessment, right?
398
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:28,719
I mean,
399
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:32,039
"The level of neglect Alma has
suffered is already presenting
400
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:34,959
"itself in Alma's chaotic attachment
style and low self-esteem.
401
00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:38,319
"This could cause more problems
for Alma later in life."
402
00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:41,160
That's like some sort of
shit Mystic Meg, isn't it?
403
00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:44,719
[LEANNE SIGHS]
404
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:47,039
Do you know, I've always
thought, if I can't be normal,
405
00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:49,839
then I'll at least be fabulous.
You know, I'll become a star, or,
406
00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:52,159
you know, I'll do something
to make it all worthwhile?
407
00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:53,839
I'll recycle it all.
408
00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:58,639
But then you read these and you
just feel completely hopeless
409
00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:00,240
and fucked.
410
00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:06,879
They're bullshit, Alma.
411
00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:09,959
They don't take into account
any of your actual personality.
412
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:11,959
They don't mention
how fun you are.
413
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:15,479
You're the only person in the
world I like to get rat arsed with.
414
00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:18,440
Yeah. Fuck these
fucking records.
415
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:22,199
Where you off?
416
00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:24,159
Oh! Fuck 'em.
417
00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:28,239
Hey... Woo, yeah, fuck 'em,
actually! Yeah, fuck 'em!
418
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:29,520
Fuck 'em! Woo!
419
00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:33,679
Woo! Oh, no shit. No, Edna.
420
00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:37,400
She'll have coronary if
she reads those. Quick.
421
00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:42,599
Now, I know you've got
your auditions tomorrow,
422
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:46,319
so for today, class, were
goin' for t'look at this book
423
00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:49,679
in your lap. It's by a bloke from
Russia who came up wi' summat big
424
00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:52,039
for actors back in t'day.
425
00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:55,639
It's called Effective Memory -
426
00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:57,160
Emotional Recall.
427
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:04,039
Now, what that is, is an actor,
using their own life and emotional
428
00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:09,439
memories to activate the emotions
of their fictional character.
429
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:11,999
So, for example...
430
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:16,879
I might be playing a
scene where I'm a widower.
431
00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:20,559
Now, I've never had a wife,
432
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:22,600
but I once lost a dog.
433
00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:26,840
I don't mean on
t'park, I mean...
434
00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:30,120
[VOICE BREAKS:] lost
the dog. Dead.
435
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:33,799
So what I have to do,
when I'm in that scene,
436
00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:38,999
is try and remember how that
felt when Ralp... Sorry.
437
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:40,719
See, it's working.
438
00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:42,960
.. when Ralph...
when Ralph died.
439
00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:47,959
And then those
memories, those emotions
440
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:50,520
will help me play
the grieving husband.
441
00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:52,880
Do you get me?
442
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:56,519
Now, Lesley, you've
talked at great length
443
00:24:56,520 --> 00:24:58,839
about your pelvic
floor dysfunction.
444
00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:00,879
Use that discomfort,
445
00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:03,480
use that shame.
446
00:25:05,360 --> 00:25:07,039
Glen, let's be honest,
447
00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:09,319
you've pickled that fatty
liver of yours with booze
448
00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:13,160
ever since your wife left
ya. Use that despair.
449
00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:20,200
Mephistopheles said he
would not fight the battle.
450
00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:24,840
And so I will.
451
00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:28,639
Thank you.
452
00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:31,999
That was fantastic. A really
smashing performance, Alma.
453
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:34,999
Thank you. So, it says
in your application
454
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:36,919
that you're a care leaver.
455
00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:40,399
Er, yeah. I just got my records
back recently, actually.
456
00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:42,680
Really? And how
was that for you?
457
00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:48,679
Not great, er, one social worker
described me as overactive,
458
00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:52,279
oversensitive and emotionally
distressed, so not fab,
459
00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:55,839
to be honest. But, do you know,
I've decided that just means
460
00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:59,319
that I've got a lot of energy,
empathy and emotional range.
461
00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:04,639
I've... I've certainly got a lot
of effective memory to draw from.
462
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:06,959
I'd agree with
that. As it happens,
463
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:08,799
I'm a care leaver too,
464
00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:11,039
and, you know, I've always felt
465
00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:15,279
us care experienced folk
have got something special.
466
00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:20,039
We've navigated extreme
circumstances with complex traumas,
467
00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:23,720
and gained skills and
wisdom beyond our years.
468
00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:32,480
We have a huge capacity to love,
and, er, to heal and, um, empathise.
469
00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:35,880
And I see that in you, Alma.
470
00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:40,599
Thank you. Do you know,
I see it in myself.
471
00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:41,960
I'm very wise.
472
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:46,879
You know in... in a normal
way, not showing-off way.
473
00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:48,800
[WHISPERING]
474
00:26:54,120 --> 00:26:58,159
Look, we don't normally do this, but
your audition was truly brilliant,
475
00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:00,560
and we'd like to
offer you a place.
476
00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:02,919
Oh, my God!
477
00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:04,319
Oh, my God, really?
478
00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:05,759
Oh, my fucking God.
479
00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:07,599
Oh, fuck you - I
mean, thank you.
480
00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:09,879
Fucking hell, yes! Woo!
481
00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:13,879
♪ I sit here by myself And
you know I love it... ♪
482
00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:15,879
And I'll just... I'll see you.
483
00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:18,720
I don't know when, but, whoo!
484
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:24,599
If I could tell that little
girl in my records anything,
485
00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:28,199
I'd tell her you're gonna be fine,
you're gonna be more than fine.
486
00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:30,440
You're gonna be
fucking fabulous, love.
487
00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:42,439
♪ I wanna be a big shot
488
00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:46,359
♪ And have 90 cars
489
00:27:46,360 --> 00:27:49,359
♪ I wanna have a boyfriend
490
00:27:49,360 --> 00:27:52,800
♪ And a girl for laughs
491
00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:57,120
♪ But only on Saturdays... ♪
36628
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