All language subtitles for The.Most.Fun.Ive.Ever.Had.with.My.Pants.On.2012.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DD2.0.x264-AJP69.eng.sdh

*

* Swing low, sweet chariot

* Comin' for
to carry me home *

* A band of angels
comin' after me *

* Comin' for
to carry me home *

He specifically said
we had to face east.

Well?

Then you better do it.

Agh!

I think I just ate
some of my dad.

Here's a bone.

(laughs)

I can't.

*

* I don't care what we do

* Don't care as long as I'm

* I and little bench for two

*

This is your captain speaking.

We are now beginning
our journey

to Austin, Texas.

*

* I don't care where we go

* Don't care as long
as we are *

* Hung into an old machine

* Something's gone upstream

* As long as we don't see

*

* I don't care,
I don't care *

*

* I don't care,
I don't care *

* I don't care

*

* I don't care

*

Oh, oops.

Do you, uh, are you okay?

Do you need me to drive?

Yeah.

Yeah?

Yeah, actually, can you...?

Can you just...
get over here?

Oh, well, why don't we
just pull over?

There's probably--

Yeah,
but we have a lot of gas

and it's too hot
out there.

I don't wanna stop.

Uh, well, I mean
it would be very quick

we could just pull over--

Just get over here, come on.

Well...

just...

It's really...
It's pretty dangerous

to do something like that.

Okay, well,
I'm not steering anymore.

Hey, wait!

Andy, come on!

Seriously, this isn't--

It's not funny.

Okay, this is very easy.

I don't think I can do this.

All you have to do
is you go--

You wanna be over or under here?

No, Andy, seriously,
like, let's just--

We can just pull over right now.

Here, let me
pull over right now.

Okay, in five seconds
I'm gonna let go of the gas,

so just make sure
that you've got your foot on it.

Andy, no, don't do that.

I'm not doing this,
I'm not do--

I'm letting go, I'm letting go
of the steering wheel.

Whoa!

Come on, seriously,
this isn't funny.

It's not funny at all.

Put your hands
on the fuckin' wheel.

(laughing)

Now you got me cursing.

(laughing)

(owl hooting)

*

*

(owl hooting)

Do you think
if women had penises,

there would still be war?

If women had penises,
I wouldn't give a shit

about the wars.

Sometimes I pretend to be a man.

Ooh, the actress likes
to role-play, does she?

Not in bed, just in life.

Like when I really need
something to happen

I just act real tough.

Yeah, you look
fuckin' terrifying right now.

Seriously, it helps.

But, I can't do it
with this audition.

Why not?

'Cause I'm supposed to be
this noir vixen slaying men

with her feminine power.

Well, I figure
you're pretty well-practiced

at wielding your
"feminine power."

Whatever, I'm still just as shy
as I was in high school.

Shy?

You raised your hand

in every single class,

every day--

That's 'cause I knew

all the answers.

And, boy, how you loved
to show it.

Well, now I have
to show my tits,

so maybe I should be asking
for your expertise?

(laughing)

Okay, you got me.

How can you laugh so much
when you're so sad?

Did I look sad?

Sadder than a Christmas tree
on the side of the road.

Thanks.

Seriously, if you're face
was talking about it,

your mouth might as well too.

I gotta pee.

Come on, let's go.

Come, come on.

Go on, open it.

(owl hooting)

(howling)

*

*

* Our God is an awesome God
He reigns from Heaven above *

* With wisdom, power and love,
our God is an awesome God *

You got the spirit in you.

It's coming,
I can feel it coming,

It's coming....all right.

Save me from all my bad habits.

Yes, my child!

The Lord had spoken
and He has said

that you must be saved.

You must be saved,
we must rid you

of all your desires
of the world of flesh and sin.

You must never experience
any fun ever again,

especially any fun
that has something to do

with boobs or wieners
or staying out too late

or cursing
or Beavis and Butt Head.

I don't wanna be saved.

I don't wanna be saved
from all that.

What do you wanna be saved from?

I don't need any saving.

I'm gonna save you.

Oh, shit.

Tell me a bedtime story.

You tell me a story.

I've been talking
to you all day.

As usual.

I know.

I'm sorry.

I haven't spoken this much
in months.

Why not?

I just haven't been able
to tell anyone this story yet.

You can tell me.

We didn't go outside.

Did you make any friends
in there?

No.

People kept trying
to pray for me.

(laughing)

And eventually, I just...

stopped trying to stop 'em.

They were just trying to help.

They were just playing parts.

There's patients,
care-givers,

and there's interns
who check pagers five times

while telling you
you're about to die.

(chuckles)

It's like...

you get stuck
in this alternate universe

where everybody's just trying
to keep everybody else

from throwing up.

It's...

totally absurd.

Remember when you
and your dad went to Berlin?

Yeah.

How do you know about that?

He sent us a Christmas card.

"Merry Christmas
from the Dennys,"

spray-painted
on the Berlin Wall.

Baby's first graffiti.

I remember exactly what it said.

"We played with sledgehammers
all day long."

I can't remember that at all.

I went to Berlin once
for the film festival.

On our last day
all the streets were blocked off

next to the theater.

I thought they were
just preparing the red carpet

for the closing event,
but then all these policemen

showed up wearing, like,
space suits.

Turns out
some construction worker

found an old,
unexploded bomb, like,

in the ground
where they're trying

to build a shopping mall.

An American pilot, like,
dropped that bomb 65 years ago.

It just burrowed itself
underneath the ground

next to a river
and nobody even noticed it

till now.

I appreciate the fable,
but I'd rather hear

about all the hot Germans
you met at the festival.

I went with my ex-boyfriend.

Y'all broke up?

Yeah.

So, you're single
and ready to mingle?

I'm single and ready to sleep.

Don't worry,
I wasn't gonna hit on you.

Not worried, just tired.

Good night, Andy.

(laughing)

I'm sorry.

You just look so sexy
in your sleeping bag.

Yeah.

I'm not tired.

Why am I not tired?

Probably 'cause it's,
like, 9:30 P.M..

I thought camping
was supposed to be fun.

You wanna go out?

We can go out,
we could go--

We could go find some townies.

I'm okay, thanks.

All right.

I don't want a wussy
for a wingman anyway.

(laughing)

Who you callin' "wussy?"

(laughing)

*

* Anna Bella blue

*

* She wants those things

So, what do you think,
we'll just pick you a guy.

You just--
you can just get him naked.

"Get him naked?"

In the car.

You don't have to do anything,

just take his clothes off.

There's no way
I'd be able to do that.

There's tons of room back there.

I get that there's room,
that's not the--

That's not the problem.

(laughter)

Then what's your problem?

It's...naked?

How do you even go about

getting someone naked?

I usually start with the top.

Although, the bottom, it's good,

you can pull a Porky Pig,

just bottoms off, t-shirt's on.

Yeah, but what do I say?

"Hey, can, uh,
I wanna get you naked."

Well, you don't have
to say anything at all.

Just give him like a--

"Can I get you naked?"

Yeah, say,
"Wanna get naked in my car?"

"You wanna get naked
in my car right now?"

Just say, "Come to my car,"
he'll probably

get himself naked.

You're a freak.

*

More eyeliner.

I'm supposed to be a spy,
not Cleopatra.

All right,
let's see the script.

No.

Come on, I'm your coach.

You wish.

No, you wish.

And I'm granting.

*

-Andy.
-"Let me help you with that."

That's my line.

Oh, sorry.

"I never trust a woman with--
to do a man's job?"

What the fuck is this?

Shut up, it's a period film.

Okay, I'm sorry,
lets do it again.

No.

I promise I won't laugh.

I don't trust you.

Come on, don't be a baby, Liv.

All right, puppy.

Wait, which one?

The one with cargo shorts.

I could tell.

You really do
have terrible taste in men.

Let me help you with that.

All right.

You can trust
I always get the job done.

What is that, some kind
of accent or something?

I've been following you
for so long,

it hurts to turn my back.

No, I think I would notice
that you were following me.

Shh...

Yeah.

Okay, out, out!

Get out, get out!

No!

Let me get my damn hat.

You're done with him already?

He's not my type.

You're very humorous,
why don't you take him

for a spin?

*

(laughing)

Hey, I-I hit it.

So, that's a small success.

*

Okay, what are you
gonna go for?

You're gonna jump it?

This is impossible.

What?

(laughing)

*

I'm gonna get a drink,
do you want a drink?

*

Oh, you're just in town tonight?

-Yeah, well, no.
-Oh.

My mother lives here as well.

She used to live here,
she passed away

and I'm just staying here
until her funeral on Wednesday.

I just went to my dad's funeral
on Sunday.

Sucks, I'm sorry.

Yeah.

...gonna say if one
of you ladies, you know,

you don't have to worry
about me raping you or anything.

Oh, that should
put me now at ease.

Thanks.

But, you just have to promise

that you're not gonna,
like, murder me or something.

(laughing)

(approaching footsteps)

(door opening)

You want a drink?

Yeah, sure.

(laughing)

I figured you'd be no good
at being bad anyway.

(engine starts)

(thunder)

Did you know my dad graduated
from Brigham Young University?

What?

Yeah, he was at junior college,

but he got kicked out
for sleeping

with the dean's daughter.

Of course.

And Grandma had taken in
these boarders to save money,

they were Mormon missionaries,
she got really, really sick,

like, she almost died.

But then, the Mormons
laid their hands upon her

and healed her.

Let's go that way.

And then, the Mormons wrote
a letter to their alma mater

begging the institution
to take in this son of sin,

'cause the Heavenly Father
had just made witness to, ow,

to them that their
one mission on Earth

was to save this, my, family
from, you know,

the torturous, burning,
fires of Hell.

Don't you think
you should say something?

I just said, like, 10 things,
but apparently

you didn't hear
a single one, so...

I mean, don't you think
you should say something, like,

special and thoughtful?

Hallelujah!

First Lieutenant
Ludwell Wallace Denny

takes to the skies
for one last flight.

(makes airplane sounds)

I'll meet you back at the car.

Don't be a baby,
we just walked

an hour to get here.

Yeah, we just hiked up
a canyon in a lightning storm

so you could kick off
your dad's ashes

and make me out
to look like an asshole!

I'm sorry.

You know I'm not good
at sentimental bullshit.

It's fine.

But when you rope in another p--

Do you wanna come
to my mom's house with me?

(thunder)

You're ridiculous.

Why can't you just do
this one thing the right way?

So long, sir.

Thank you for your service,
your sense of humor,

and all those presents you gave.

(laughing)

Seriously,
he was very thoughtful.

Yeah, but he
would've smacked you

if you called him "sir."

You're right.

Right, right, um...

What was his pilot's name?

Oh, yeah.

So long, Mr. Pumpkin.

-Great Pumpkin.
-Great!

So long, Great Pumpkin.

Thank you for your presents.

Cool, now we can go.

*

*

Wait, where is it?

With my purse.

I still don't understand why we
got off the highway so soon.

We're just making a pit stop.

Well, I wouldn't ask
so many questions

if I had a cigarette
in my mouth.

Fuck.

*

When I look at land like this
I can see why people

want to believe in gods.

*

I still don't.

Oh, shit.

Whoa, hey, pay attention.

What's it like
to be a good kid?

What's it like to be a bad kid?

Pretty fucking good
till someone makes you feel

like being bad is wrong.

You're such a badass,
you really do like

to play the victim.

Oh, I'm the victim?

At least I didn't piss
my white panties

because some little townie
tried to show me his third leg.

*

-You know what--
-Did you ever find that tobacco,

'cause I really need
a cigarette.

Wait, pull over, pull over!

Now.

This is good, this is good.

*

Chloe!

(laughing)

Chloe, let's go!

*

Oh.

*

Liv!

*

Liv?

*

Ugh.

(chuckling)

All right, let's hear it.

Might as well get it
off your chest.

Woo!

Woo!

*

* Earthworms eat dirt

* Fish swim below

* Birds fly above

* Sharks bite, geese fight

* The people you hurt
are the people you love *

* People mess up

* But try is the word
we reserve for our friends *

* Flies eat red meat

* The circle of life
doesn't make any sense *

*

*

(water rushing)

How'd you know
about this place?

You know about
this place, too.

No, I don't.

(birds chirping)

(laughing)

You have a memory
like a chalk board, girl.

(laughing)

Your dad brought us here
for Indian Princess.

My dad never went
to Indian Princess.

He did once.

And we came here.

(bat chirping)

Remember when you got bit
by that bat

under the Congress Bridge?

I wish I didn't.

Then you probably shouldn't
run around pickin'

up wild bats.

He was wounded.

He was rabid.

(birds chirping)

Wonder when bats come home.

Well...

they're nocturnal so,
they just come home

before the sun
comes up, huh?

(water rushing)

Why doesn't anyone
ever watch that?

(water rushing)

(birds chirping)

(crickets chirping)

Jesus Christ, it's beautiful.

(water rushing)

You think Joseph Smith
was schizophrenic,

or just a really good actor?

A little bit
of both, I reckon.

Sometimes I couldn't tell
if my dad was a prophet

or just a really,
really good liar.

(bird chirping)

-A little bit of both.
-Little bit of both.

(water rushing)

Why do you have
to see your mom?

I'm supposed to deliver
whatever's left.

I thought she was
in the hosp--

She's out.

(water rushing)

(bird chirping)

Where is she living?

In Onion Creek...

with her sponsor.

Is he cool?

Better than the marine.

(water rushing)

She has a little bit
of a military thing, huh?

I guess so.

(cricket chirping)

Yeah.

I'll go with you.

(water rushing)

Thanks.

(car passing)

Hey, mom.

You feelin' better today?

I'm sorry,
I never should've called

you last night.

Look, the bus won't get
me home any faster.

I made a promise.

I'm trying to do
the right thing here, mom.

I gotta go.

I'll call you later.

(traffic passing)

(squeaking)

Hey.

Ta-da!

Nice job.

Come on, Claw.

*

Have you ever peed
outside before?

(laughing)

Not in awhile, why?

First of all,
you can't pull your shorts

all the way down
to the ground,

or you will pee
directly onto your clothing.

Shit!

(laughing)

Well, I can't pee now
I know your gay ass

is watching me.

*

*

(birds chirping)

I challenge you to a duel.

You're fencing and I'm
life--light sabing.

Sabing?

Sabing.

(grunting)

My dad used to say
that killing someone

was the most fun
he ever had

with his pants on.

That's messed up.

*

* As I sit here tonight,

the Jukebox playin' *

* The tune
about the wild side of life *

* As I listen to the words
you are saying *

* It brings memories
when I was a trusting wife *

* It wasn't God who
made Honky Tonk angels *

* As you said
in the words of your song *

* There's many times married men
think they're still single *

* That has caused many a good
girl to go wrong *

*

*

* It's a shame that all the
blame is on us women *

* It's not true that
only you men--*

You know about how far
we are from the Hilltop Motel?

Nope, sorry.

* From the start,
most every heart

that's ever broken *

Thanks, anyway.

Bye.

Good night.

* There always was
a man to blame *

* It wasn't God who
made Honky Tonk angels *

* As you said
in the words of your song *

* There's many times married men
think they're still single *

* That has caused many a good
girl to go wrong *

(train whistle blowing)

(bugs chirping)

(cars passing)

(radio playing)

(laughing)

(dishes clanking)

(cups rattling)

You know, this wasn't
my first time.

Yeah, right.

It's true.

I haven't told
many people this,

but, when I was hanging
out with Hazel in the 11th--

How come you were allowed
to hang out with Hazel

and not me?

Her mom wasn't calling
the ambulance every weekend.

I lived in
my own apartment.

Maybe that was it.

Anyway.

Hazel took me
to the outlet mall,

and we filled up
our bags full of clothes.

My bag was much
bigger than hers, so...

I had a lot more stuff
than she did.

And, of course,
we got caught.

Yeah.

Busted.

They took us all the way
upstairs and made us

empty our bags.

They added up how much
money each one of us stole.

Well, Hazel got to have
her parents come and get her.

And they handcuffed me.

Walked me through
the entire store,

and took me to jail.

(laughing)

Yeah.

You got arrested
your very first time?

No.

It wasn't my first time.

Oh, you got hooked.

A little hooked.

But just for the summer.

It was the best summer.

I can't believe you
were allowed to hang out

with Hazel and not me.

It's not your fault.

My mom liked you a lot,
she just...

couldn't let herself
get close to any crazy people.

Yeah.

Yeah, even Christian kindness
has its limits.

If you're wondering why
I never confide in you,

consider this conversation
a prime example

of reason one.

(distant chattering)

May I buy you
a piece of pie?

Pie sounds great.

Let's have some pie.

*

* I would not call
it sadness,

and I would not
call it pain *

* I would not call
it anger for all

that it contains *

* I would not call it lonesome
and leave it for to dark *

* I would not call
it anything *

*

* For that would be a lie

*

* I would not
call it magic,

and I would not call it love *

* I would not call
it patience,

nor pressures
from above *

So, why'd your dad want
you to spread his ashes here?

I have no idea.

* I would not call
them darkness *

* Not necessarily

*

* I would not call it living,
and I would not call it trust *

* I would not call
it meaning, nor--*

Here's to the bald eagle.

A noble bird of prey.

Something, something,
Sherman's ass,

and shit on Dixie Clay.

You're getting better at this.

*

* I would not call
it changing,

and I will not call it fear *

* I would not call it closing,
nor will I call it near *

* And I will not call
them phantoms

in the eyes of the dear *

* I would not call
them anything *

*

* For that would be a lie

*

Who's that?

*

I'll tell you later.

*

(bugs chirping)

Do you wanna practice
what you're gonna say

to your mom?

(buzzing)

No.

Thank you, but I...

(crickets chirping)

(buzzing)

(dog braking)

In acting class,
we used to do this exercise

where you and a partner
like stand...

in front of each other
and basically...

like go through a series
of memories together.

We can do something
like that if you want.

Help you get prepared.

(buzzing)

That sounds like really
emotional, and I don't...

I'm not an actor.

I mean, I'm pretty sure that...

(owl hooting)

(humming)

Calm down.

I can't understand you
when you get so worked up.

(singing)

Mom.

She's going to take me
to my audition.

I'm gonna go with her
to her mom's house.

Yeah.

(singing)

(shower running)

I think she needs
me here.

I don't know.

Look, I gotta go.

You turnin' me in?

Uh, no.

Actually, that was
the front desk.

They're requesting
that you stop

murdering whales
in the bathroom right now...

please.

Is that a scar
from a nose ring?

That one?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Didn't you have
a tongue ring, too?

Ah!

Why'd you get
all those piercings?

'Cause I was a freak.

Remember?

Whatever.

You just couldn't stand
to have a pretty face.

Must've been tough
for a little rebel

like yourself.

I didn't have anything
to do with this face.

Maybe.

But it's got a lot
to do with you.

I did it,
'cause it was fun.

Me and Nina,
we'd go over to this guy's house

in south Austin
and watch him stick

needles through us.

It's really sad
to watch someone try too hard.

Okay.

I got the scripts and...

some markers.

Come here and sit here.

Let's see.

This one's good.

That's better.

(clearing throat)

Don't move too much.

Chill.

Don't worry.

I'm not going
to hurt you.

Ow.

Oh, come on.

Looks pretty good.

All right.

Now.

Make the cup of tea.

A tie.

Black tie
for all occasions.

Perfect.

All right.

Here, put your hair
in a bun.

Nice.

You're looking very
manly so far.

Thank you.

Welcome.

All right.

Now, let's see you
sit like a man.

It's like you've
done this before.

Perhaps.

Okay, um...

Okay.

So...

you're the guy,
obviously.

Of course.

(clearing throat)

Okay.

Let me help you with that.

I never trust a woman
to do a man's job.

You can trust I always
get the job done.

You've got your work
cut out for you, kid.

I ain't no kid, daddy.

And I ain't your daddy...

baby.

(laughing)

What?

Your breathe smells.

No, it doesn't.

Be brave.

(laughing)

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I can't, I can't.

(laughing)

It's just too silly.

This situation calls for some
extreme measures, captain.

(heart beating)

What the heck are
you doing, freak?

I'm a very powerful man.

This is retarded.

Just shut up.

And imagine...

that I am a very...

powerful man.

And I am a very freaked
out girl.

Sure.

But I got somethin' you need,
and you may be a scaredy cat,

but you're not a quitter.

How am I supposed to untie
his tie when I'm blindfolded?

A good woman can do
anything in the dark.

I don't wanna do this.

Yes, you do.

No, I don't.

Yes, you do.

And you want whole
theaters full of people

to watch you do it.

And they will.

But you're so fucking private,
that people will

pay attention to you,
even if you never tell

them anything at all.

*

*

Let me help you with that.

I never trust a woman
to do a man's job.

*

You can trust I always
get the job done.

You got your work cut
out for you, kid.

I ain't no kid, daddy.

And I ain't no daddy...

baby.

*

(laughing)

They feel like Jell-O.

(laughing)

It feels like a Jell-O Jiggler.

(laughing)

A Jell-O Jiggler.

(laughing)

A Jell-O Jiggler.

Andy.

(bugs chirping)

(owl hooting)

(train whistle blowing)

(dial tone ringing)

(ringing)

Welcome to
Andy's answering machine.

So, you're asleep
in the motel.

And you won't get this message
until we're both back home.

Maybe you hate me right now.

Maybe you understand.

If not,

I hope you can forgive me.

I...

I love you.

(wind blowing)

*

*

(birds chirping)

(traffic passing)

(pounding)

(horns honking)

*

*

(train whistle blowing)

(clanking)

(distant chattering)

*

*

(chanting)

*

(wind blowing)

*

(clapping)

*

Can I take a picture with you?

Oh, sure.

What's your name?

Polito.

Polito?

Polito.

Polito.

Polito, P-o-l-i-t-o,
Polito.

Thank you.

*

(chanting)

(crows cawing)

(car driving)

(brakes squealing)

*

*

-Hello.
-Hey, can you hear me?

I can hear
you fine.

Okay, can you press
that button

that says video?

Um, I see you.

Hey!

Cool.

Can you
see me?

Not yet,
but if you--

Oh, yeah,
now I can.

Hoopla.

How's it going?

Blood.

I got
a new razor,

and I stuck
my hand in

to get
my toothbrush,

it sliced
my fingers open.

Anyhow, everything
that can go wrong

is going wrong,
but you look great.

I had
the opportunity

to be a father
to two great daughters.

And they're
both bright,

they're
both articulate,

they're both good
human beings,

and one of them is just
about as crazy as me,

so I'm a lucky guy.

And this is the song

I used to sing

when I put
my daughter to bed.

She was a little
smaller then,

but no less cute.

Oh.

* Swing low,

sweet chariot *

* Coming for
to carry me home *

* A band of angels

comin' after me *

* Comin' for
to carry me home *

* I looked over Jordan

and what did I see *

* A band of angels

comin' for me *

* Swing low,

oh, sweet chariot *

* Comin' for
to carry me home *

So that was
the lullaby.

I want you to sing
one of your really raunchy--

It's raunchy.

-Okay.
-Okay.

Now, it's
a strange thing

when you spend
your life

going out 30 nights
in a row

dropping bombs
on people.

You have a strange
sense of humor.

Occasionally, we would have
a few margaritas

and I would sing
some songs

from my time
in Vietnam.

* Mary Ann Burns is the queen
of all the acrobats *

* She can do some tricks
that'll give a man the shits *

* She can roll a green pea down
her fundamental orifice *

* Flip it with her clit
and catch between her tits *

* She's a great big
son-of-a-bitch

twice as big as me *

* Hair on her pussy
like the branches on a tree *

* Mary Ann Burns,
she's the girl for me *

(laughter)

And that's
all, folks.

Th--th--that's
all, folks.

*

*

* Darkness

is all around me *

*

* Darkness,

it will not go *

*

* Creepin'

through my veins *

*

* Movin'

thick and low *

*

* And I seek nothin'

but your decency *

* I seek nothin'

I need to keep *

* I seek nothin'

but this moment *

* I seek nothin'

that I must leave *

*

* If you can cure me

*

* Cure my body

*

* Cure my mind

*

* So I can sleep

* Oh, cure me

*

* With your firm

and gentle speed *

*

*

*

*

Why you washing
in the river

like an animal?

Come on.

Look...

Andy,

I didn't
mean to--

It's your fucking turn
to drive.

(dog barks)

Liv.

Hey.

What?

You got a--

Oh.

You saw that from all
the way over there?

Yeah, you're going
wild, girl.

You got leaves
in your hair and everything.

-Okay, bye.
-Bye.

Break a leg,
captain.

Stupid.

Wanna go
for a ride, Chloe?

(dog whimpers)

*

* Fine

* Don't wait for me

* I'll take my time

* Slowly burning

* I'll take my eye

* Above you

*

*

Well, how'd it go?

I don't know.
Let's go.

What do you mean,
you don't know?

I don't know, okay,
so, let's go to your mom's

since that's the real
reason we came here.

I don't care
about the stupid audition.

You don't care
about the stupid audition?

Andy, please,
let's go.

Please,
just drive.

Okay, okay,
I'm going.

I don't even have
my--fuck it.

I didn't know your mom
lived next to a cemetery.

At least she finally gets
along with her neighbors.

You sure you don't want me
to go with you?

No, it's cool.

I'll just be
a minute.

Don't rush it.

(sobbing)

(clears throat)

You kept
the hat.

Mhmm.

What's all this
other stuff?

Some stupid cups
my parents

used to drink out of
when they were married.

And a piece
of the Berlin Wall.

That's for you.

How'd it go?

She wasn't there.

They didn't let me read
for the vixen.

What?

They had me read
some other role.

Just some secretary
hopelessly in love

with her married boss.

Uh-uh.

Fuck that!

Yeah.

I know,
I know.

No, no.

Fuck that!

Whoa.

What are
you doing?

*

We're going
back there.

Wait, what are
we doing?

*

We're going in
with pep.

*

Let me help you
with that.

*

Excuse me!

I never trust a woman
to do a man's job.

*

Trust I always
get the job done.

You got your work
cut out for ya, kid.

I ain't no kid,
daddy.

I ain't no daddy,
baby.

*

You trust me now?

I'd let you
lie to me

all over again
if I could.

You really strengthen
your guard, officer.

You really should let
yours down, madam.

I've been following you
for so long,

it hurts
to turn my back.

Then don't.

Trouble is,

I only like it
when it hurts.

*

(mocking gun shots)

*

*

Did you see
her face

when you got up
on the desk?

I saw your face.

(girls giggling)

Let's see them
battle wounds.

-I got one right there.
-Oh.

-It's an early one.
-That's a big one.

I think we can--

You think
you got the job?

I think that casting director
will never wanna see me again.

Well, I say
that's her loss.

It was
worth it.

You got
a real wound.

It's fine.

All better.

Thank you.

I have to go
to my mom's pretty soon.

I know.

I'll drop
you off.

Do you wanna come
have dinner with us?

No.

Thanks though.

I really
have to go.

I know.

*

Okay, now
close your eyes.

*

Remember your
first birthday.

*

Think about sex.

*

Imagine eating
strawberry ice cream.

*

Picture your
mom's face.

*

Okay, now
turn around.

*

Remember your
first birthday.

*

Think about sex.

*

Imagine eating
strawberry ice cream.

*

Picture your
mom's face.

*

I wanna do one.

Okay.

Go.

*

Remember...

*

*

*

*

* In this
very room *

* We spent the day

and looked
over antiquities *

* Don't you remember

* I can't recall
this face,

but I want to *

* But I want to

*

* In this
very room *

* We flew
across the sea *

* The ship will
carry us there *

* In the ships
I play with *

* Don't you remember

*

* I can't recall
this face,

but I want to *

* Remember your face

* But I want to

*

* Ship will
carry us there *

*

* Carry us there

*

*