All language subtitles for The.Marvelous.Mrs.Maisel.S04E01.WEBRip.x264-ION10

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian Download
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian Download
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:28,279 --> 00:00:30,197 Revenge. 2 00:00:32,742 --> 00:00:35,035 Revenge. 3 00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:37,163 I want it. 4 00:00:37,163 --> 00:00:39,165 Oh, do I want it. 5 00:00:39,165 --> 00:00:40,583 I need it. 6 00:00:40,583 --> 00:00:42,126 I crave it. 7 00:00:42,126 --> 00:00:46,005 I am completely consumed by the need for it. 8 00:00:46,005 --> 00:00:47,882 Revenge. 9 00:00:49,925 --> 00:00:51,761 You know how there are times in your life 10 00:00:51,761 --> 00:00:53,763 when things seem to be going great? 11 00:00:53,763 --> 00:00:55,347 And then suddenly, out of nowhere, 12 00:00:55,347 --> 00:00:57,725 you round the corner, and bam, someone steps in 13 00:00:57,725 --> 00:00:59,727 and fucks it the fuck up? 14 00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:01,353 And you never saw it coming 15 00:01:01,353 --> 00:01:03,397 because you were too busy being happy. 16 00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:07,234 And I know, that's life. 17 00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:09,028 Shit happens. 18 00:01:09,028 --> 00:01:12,615 You should be a bigger man and just let it go. 19 00:01:14,366 --> 00:01:16,494 Well, I'm a woman, so fuck that. 20 00:01:18,454 --> 00:01:21,499 I want my fucking pound of flesh. 21 00:01:21,499 --> 00:01:24,210 I want my revenge. 22 00:01:24,210 --> 00:01:26,545 And I'm talking real revenge, not the "Hey, I got you 23 00:01:26,545 --> 00:01:28,422 a lifetime subscription to The Watchtower" 24 00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:30,966 kind of revenge, but Shakespearean, 25 00:01:30,966 --> 00:01:33,302 blood-soaked, painful, 26 00:01:33,302 --> 00:01:36,847 soul-crushing revenge. 27 00:01:36,847 --> 00:01:38,891 I will dig out my high school clarinet 28 00:01:38,891 --> 00:01:42,394 and play klezmer music next door to you 24 hours a day. 29 00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:45,439 I will sneak into your basement, and I will fry fish. 30 00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:49,068 I will befriend your only daughter, 31 00:01:49,068 --> 00:01:51,070 and I will introduce her to a poet, 32 00:01:51,070 --> 00:01:54,490 and I will sit at their wedding and I will laugh. 33 00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,661 I'm talking Medea-level revenge. 34 00:01:58,661 --> 00:02:02,206 I'm filled with so much fury, and why? 35 00:02:03,582 --> 00:02:05,292 Oh, you already know why. 36 00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:06,836 Well, that's no fun. 37 00:02:06,836 --> 00:02:08,087 Fine. 38 00:02:08,087 --> 00:02:10,130 Yes. That was me. 39 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:14,093 Standing there on a tarmac, not Penn Station, by the way, 40 00:02:14,093 --> 00:02:16,053 and not "clutching" my suitcase. 41 00:02:16,053 --> 00:02:17,847 "Suitcase," singular. 42 00:02:17,847 --> 00:02:19,682 Please. I haven't traveled with one suitcase 43 00:02:19,682 --> 00:02:21,267 since my first day of kindergarten. 44 00:02:22,977 --> 00:02:26,355 I stood there, and I watched that plane fly away, 45 00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:28,607 and I realized that once again 46 00:02:28,607 --> 00:02:32,903 a man has stepped in and fucked up my life. 47 00:02:32,903 --> 00:02:34,655 And just like the first time, 48 00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:37,575 I was dressed magnificently while he did it. 49 00:02:37,575 --> 00:02:40,536 Fucking revenge! 50 00:02:52,715 --> 00:02:54,550 Where we going? 51 00:02:54,550 --> 00:02:56,051 Back to the city. 52 00:02:56,051 --> 00:02:57,803 Something she forgot to pack? 53 00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:59,471 Just drive. 54 00:03:13,569 --> 00:03:15,195 What's happening here? 55 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:17,239 Nothing. I just... 56 00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:29,960 Seriously, what's funny? 57 00:03:38,761 --> 00:03:40,554 What are you doing? 58 00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:41,931 That was a hat. 59 00:03:41,931 --> 00:03:43,432 It still had the price tag on it. 60 00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:45,893 Miriam, do we need a pill? 61 00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:47,978 - Hey. - I don't want it. 62 00:03:47,978 --> 00:03:50,898 Well, it completes the outfit. Will you stop? 63 00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:53,067 I don't want anything about this night 64 00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:55,194 or associated with this night in this cab with us. 65 00:03:55,194 --> 00:03:56,445 Am I next? 66 00:03:56,445 --> 00:03:58,030 Stop! 67 00:03:58,030 --> 00:03:59,657 - Stop the cab! - What? 68 00:04:04,161 --> 00:04:06,538 You fucker! 69 00:04:11,085 --> 00:04:12,711 I won. 70 00:04:12,711 --> 00:04:15,214 You thought you could beat me, but you couldn't. 71 00:04:15,214 --> 00:04:17,049 Yeah, you showed him. 72 00:04:17,049 --> 00:04:18,717 Now that the skirt has learned its lesson, 73 00:04:18,717 --> 00:04:21,387 why don't you get back in the ca... Miriam? 74 00:04:21,387 --> 00:04:24,056 Okay, well, that's really the city's job, but... 75 00:04:24,056 --> 00:04:26,475 I hate this night and this outfit 76 00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:28,644 and this whole goddamn world! 77 00:04:28,644 --> 00:04:30,229 - Hey! - I hate this cab. 78 00:04:30,229 --> 00:04:32,064 - Stop that! - This cab took me 79 00:04:32,064 --> 00:04:33,983 - to the airport that I hate! - Hey. 80 00:04:33,983 --> 00:04:36,443 Where the plane was that I hate, on the tarmac... 81 00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:38,070 Hey, what the hell is she doing? 82 00:04:38,070 --> 00:04:41,448 I hate music. I hate music stands. 83 00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:43,784 I hate mic cords. 84 00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,619 I hate light cues. 85 00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:47,454 Miriam, enough. 86 00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:49,415 - Ow! - She's crazy. 87 00:04:49,415 --> 00:04:54,461 Ow! Ow! 88 00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:56,088 Ow! Stop! 89 00:04:56,088 --> 00:04:57,798 Ow! You stop! 90 00:04:57,798 --> 00:05:00,342 Have you lost your mind? 91 00:05:00,342 --> 00:05:02,594 Yes! 92 00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:06,807 My mind, my job, my career. 93 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,559 You haven't lost your career. 94 00:05:08,559 --> 00:05:11,145 I was on tour with the biggest star in the world, 95 00:05:11,145 --> 00:05:13,522 and then suddenly... 96 00:05:13,522 --> 00:05:16,150 he wouldn't even talk to me. 97 00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:18,277 I thought we were friends. 98 00:05:18,277 --> 00:05:19,987 In show business? 99 00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:21,989 I fucked up. 100 00:05:22,948 --> 00:05:24,283 It's not your fault. 101 00:05:24,283 --> 00:05:26,160 I should've been there. If I'd have been there, 102 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:28,287 - you wouldn't have talked to Reggie. - I would've talked to you. 103 00:05:28,287 --> 00:05:30,330 And I would've told you to just calm the fuck down. 104 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,207 And I would've calmed the fuck down. 105 00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:34,543 And you wouldn't have done that set and ended your career. 106 00:05:34,543 --> 00:05:35,836 My career's ended? 107 00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:37,212 I'm repeating what you said. 108 00:05:37,212 --> 00:05:39,256 But I said it so you'd say it wasn't true. 109 00:05:39,256 --> 00:05:41,050 Here, you want to hit the car again? 110 00:05:41,050 --> 00:05:42,676 You don't think I can come back from this? 111 00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:43,927 I just meant, if I'd have been there, 112 00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:45,262 you wouldn't have done that awful set. 113 00:05:45,262 --> 00:05:46,889 The set was great. The audience laughed 114 00:05:46,889 --> 00:05:48,432 - at every joke. - I just meant, 115 00:05:48,432 --> 00:05:50,100 if I'd have been there, you would've done something else. 116 00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:51,727 - I would've bombed. - Yeah, you would've bombed, 117 00:05:51,727 --> 00:05:53,854 and we would be on a plane to Prague right now. 118 00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:57,024 If I had bombed, they still could've kicked me off the tour. 119 00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:58,317 No, you would've been humiliated, 120 00:05:58,317 --> 00:05:59,818 but then you would've gotten on that plane, 121 00:05:59,818 --> 00:06:01,236 and then you would've bombed in Prague. 122 00:06:01,236 --> 00:06:02,988 What? Why? 123 00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:04,156 Those people don't laugh. 124 00:06:04,156 --> 00:06:05,783 I could've made Prague people laugh. 125 00:06:05,783 --> 00:06:07,034 You've never been to Prague. 126 00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:08,452 What the fuck would you talk about? 127 00:06:08,452 --> 00:06:10,079 I'd find something. 128 00:06:10,079 --> 00:06:11,747 "Hello, Prague. Remember Jews?" 129 00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:16,043 Look at that, the public still loves you. 130 00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:24,635 I don't want to go back to Queens. 131 00:06:24,635 --> 00:06:27,596 I'm not ready to be a failure yet. 132 00:06:27,596 --> 00:06:30,015 I don't want to go back to my place, either. 133 00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:31,809 Jackie will be installing crown molding. 134 00:06:31,809 --> 00:06:33,268 Chester will be farting a lot. 135 00:06:33,268 --> 00:06:35,354 Ladies, at this rate, I'm gonna be able 136 00:06:35,354 --> 00:06:37,106 to retire off this fare. 137 00:06:37,106 --> 00:06:39,441 Just head to the Village. 138 00:06:39,441 --> 00:06:43,403 You... want to take your branch? 139 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,072 No. 140 00:06:48,867 --> 00:06:50,994 You had that the whole time? 141 00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:53,539 I didn't want you drunk and acting all crazy. 142 00:06:53,539 --> 00:06:55,415 Give me that. 143 00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:05,592 Damn it, I just got this outfit. 144 00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:07,553 Boy, this floor is really sticky. 145 00:07:07,553 --> 00:07:09,012 Are they mopping it? 146 00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:10,722 Oh, yeah. Twice a day. 147 00:07:10,722 --> 00:07:12,141 They call and give me updates. 148 00:07:12,141 --> 00:07:13,934 We talk soap-to-water ratios. 149 00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:15,144 All right. 150 00:07:15,144 --> 00:07:16,812 Oh, it's really fucking sticky. 151 00:07:16,812 --> 00:07:18,689 You sure it's okay that we're here? 152 00:07:18,689 --> 00:07:20,440 Oh, yeah. I called the owner, 153 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,109 and he cleared it with the management, 154 00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:24,111 and they ran it up the flagpole to the board. 155 00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:25,654 All right. 156 00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:27,447 I love that suddenly you're all concerned 157 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:30,159 about not pissing anybody off. 158 00:07:30,159 --> 00:07:33,245 I stashed this stuff here last time I was hiding out. 159 00:07:33,245 --> 00:07:35,414 - Hey, do you have any seltzer? - Why? 160 00:07:35,414 --> 00:07:37,499 Thought I'd try to get the stain out with seltzer. 161 00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:39,543 - Oh. Try gasoline. - Really? 162 00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:42,004 Yeah. That and a match will take that stain right out. 163 00:07:42,004 --> 00:07:45,007 Hilarious. You should open for Shy Baldwin. 164 00:07:45,007 --> 00:07:47,009 So, pick a spot? 165 00:07:47,009 --> 00:07:48,927 Yep. Anywhere you want. 166 00:07:48,927 --> 00:07:51,388 - Actually, I need to sleep over there. - Okay. 167 00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:53,724 It's just, I had a nightmare when I slept over there. 168 00:07:53,724 --> 00:07:55,767 And over there, different nightmare but just as bad. 169 00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:57,102 Over there, too. 170 00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:58,937 So I'd like to sleep there, in the middle, 171 00:07:58,937 --> 00:08:00,439 - if that's okay. - Uh... 172 00:08:00,439 --> 00:08:02,774 Eh, even if it's not okay, I got to sleep in the middle. 173 00:08:02,774 --> 00:08:04,943 But anywhere else, your choice. 174 00:08:04,943 --> 00:08:07,154 So I have my choice of all the nightmare spots. 175 00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:09,281 Thanks. 176 00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:11,325 Gonna be here all night. 177 00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:16,997 Well, here we are. 178 00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:19,416 Back where it all started. 179 00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:22,628 First time I saw you, you were over there behind the bar. 180 00:08:22,628 --> 00:08:24,755 I was married to Joel. 181 00:08:24,755 --> 00:08:27,090 He was gonna do stand-up. 182 00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:29,468 I brought a brisket. 183 00:08:29,468 --> 00:08:31,011 You remember what you said to me? 184 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:33,055 No, but I'm sure "fuck you" figured 185 00:08:33,055 --> 00:08:35,140 - somewhere in the sentence. - Yeah. 186 00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:38,268 Who would've thought that less than two years later 187 00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:41,480 I'd end up back here drunk and in my underwear again? 188 00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:43,190 Different underwear. 189 00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:45,984 Did you just find that on the ground? 190 00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:47,694 Yes. 191 00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:55,869 Guess I overpacked. 192 00:09:09,508 --> 00:09:11,134 Susie. 193 00:09:15,806 --> 00:09:18,058 Darn that dream ♪ 194 00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:20,519 I dream each night ♪ 195 00:09:20,519 --> 00:09:25,774 ♪ You say you love me and you hold me tight ♪ 196 00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:29,653 ♪ But when I awake, you're out of sight ♪ 197 00:09:29,653 --> 00:09:35,409 Oh, darn that dream ♪ 198 00:09:35,409 --> 00:09:39,621 ♪ Darn your lips and darn your eyes ♪ 199 00:09:39,621 --> 00:09:45,002 ♪ They lift me high above the moonlit skies ♪ 200 00:09:45,002 --> 00:09:48,588 ♪ Then I tumble out of paradise ♪ 201 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,590 ♪ Oh, darn that... 202 00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:53,010 You cheat me out of ten papers today? 203 00:09:53,010 --> 00:09:55,178 Every day, ten to 15 papers short. 204 00:09:55,178 --> 00:09:57,597 Give me a break. 205 00:09:59,891 --> 00:10:01,810 Are you kidding me? 206 00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,605 If you're gonna read it, you have to buy it. 207 00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:07,316 I'm already 15 to 20 papers short. 208 00:10:07,316 --> 00:10:09,609 Sorry. I think I have some money in here. 209 00:10:10,652 --> 00:10:12,154 Uh, no. 210 00:10:14,156 --> 00:10:15,490 Not that. 211 00:10:17,409 --> 00:10:19,119 It's not my coat. 212 00:10:21,204 --> 00:10:23,206 Ew. Ew. 213 00:10:24,583 --> 00:10:26,126 Wow. 214 00:10:28,295 --> 00:10:29,880 Susie. 215 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:31,381 What the fuck are you doing? 216 00:10:31,381 --> 00:10:33,759 You don't wake a person up in the middle of a nightmare. 217 00:10:33,759 --> 00:10:35,302 I was in line at the post office. 218 00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:36,970 Just one guy working, and he got a call. 219 00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:38,972 - I need my money. - Why are you wearing my jacket? 220 00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:40,640 - D-8. - I don't... 221 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,351 D-8, D-8, D-8. 222 00:10:42,351 --> 00:10:44,144 They replaced me with Jack Ballard. 223 00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:46,146 He's doing the rest of the tour and the Christmas special. 224 00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,689 So I don't got to read this now, right? 225 00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:49,775 They planned this. They gave this to the papers yesterday, 226 00:10:49,775 --> 00:10:51,985 and they still made us come all the way down to the tarmac 227 00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:54,446 just to see us stand there like a couple of assholes. 228 00:10:54,446 --> 00:10:56,531 Jack Ballard. I thought Jack Ballard was dead. 229 00:10:56,531 --> 00:10:58,450 They wanted to humiliate us. 230 00:10:58,450 --> 00:10:59,910 I think I went to his funeral. 231 00:10:59,910 --> 00:11:01,495 One day, and it's already in the paper. 232 00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:03,080 Moishe's gonna explode. 233 00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:04,873 - Who the fuck is Moishe? - My father-in-law. 234 00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:06,375 He's gonna see that, and he's gonna know 235 00:11:06,375 --> 00:11:07,793 - that I was fired. - So what? 236 00:11:07,793 --> 00:11:10,003 He loaned me the money to buy back my old apartment, 237 00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,797 my collateral being my contract 238 00:11:11,797 --> 00:11:13,507 for the tour and the Christmas special. 239 00:11:13,507 --> 00:11:16,009 He was so excited about the Christmas special. 240 00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:19,179 You bought back your old apartment? 241 00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:21,056 - Yes. - When? 242 00:11:21,056 --> 00:11:23,558 - Yesterday. - I was with you yesterday. 243 00:11:23,558 --> 00:11:25,394 - Not all day. - I can't believe this. 244 00:11:25,394 --> 00:11:26,853 I leave you alone for four hours, 245 00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:28,688 and you blow your career and buy an apartment. 246 00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,315 You said I didn't blow my career. 247 00:11:30,315 --> 00:11:32,859 Why would you buy an apartment? You don't have any money! 248 00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:35,278 What do you mean, I don't have any money? 249 00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:37,322 You have some money, clearly. 250 00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:40,075 - I saved every cent from the first part of the tour. - I know. 251 00:11:40,075 --> 00:11:42,536 And I am holding it for you. I just... 252 00:11:43,829 --> 00:11:45,497 Why would you buy back your apartment? 253 00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:47,082 Because I don't want to live 254 00:11:47,082 --> 00:11:50,168 with my ex-in-laws in Queens anymore. 255 00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:51,837 Look, I know it was an emotional purchase, 256 00:11:51,837 --> 00:11:53,296 but I did it, it's done. 257 00:11:53,296 --> 00:11:54,965 And now I need to get something 258 00:11:54,965 --> 00:11:57,801 into his hands immediately, buy me some time. 259 00:12:00,095 --> 00:12:01,680 So I need my money. 260 00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:03,890 When? 261 00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:06,101 Today. 262 00:12:06,101 --> 00:12:07,936 Okay. Sure. 263 00:12:08,979 --> 00:12:11,565 I'll get you your money today. 264 00:12:11,565 --> 00:12:14,359 I don't have my ledger book on me. 265 00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:16,570 I just got to look at the ledger at least, 266 00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:18,196 make sure things are ledgered. 267 00:12:18,196 --> 00:12:19,698 Fine. 268 00:12:19,698 --> 00:12:23,493 And there were some expenses I had to deduct from your money. 269 00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:26,204 - Business expenses, all legit. - Okay. 270 00:12:26,204 --> 00:12:27,873 And I bought some hairspray. Remember the hairspray? 271 00:12:27,873 --> 00:12:29,291 You asked me to buy some hairspray. 272 00:12:29,291 --> 00:12:30,959 - Absolutely. - Okay. 273 00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:33,003 I'll look at the ledger, get to the bank. 274 00:12:33,003 --> 00:12:34,379 You'll get your money, 275 00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:36,173 sans the really expensive hairspray. 276 00:12:36,173 --> 00:12:38,175 Great. Thank you. 277 00:12:38,175 --> 00:12:40,260 I don't know what you need all that hairspray for, 278 00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:42,512 but that's your business, so... 279 00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:46,349 - Were you gonna make a call? - What? 280 00:12:46,349 --> 00:12:48,226 I can go in the back if you need some privacy. 281 00:12:48,226 --> 00:12:49,769 No, I was not gonna make a call. 282 00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,396 Just 'cause you stand next to a phone, 283 00:12:51,396 --> 00:12:53,482 people think you're gonna make a call. 284 00:12:53,482 --> 00:12:54,941 You know what? 285 00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:56,943 I'm gonna get some fresh air. 286 00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:59,154 Stretch the legs. 287 00:12:59,154 --> 00:13:01,490 - You want anything? - Just my money. 288 00:13:01,490 --> 00:13:02,824 Yep. 289 00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:04,618 I'll be right back. 290 00:13:26,056 --> 00:13:27,891 Hey. I got to use the phone. 291 00:13:27,891 --> 00:13:29,935 I'm currently wooing a lady. 292 00:13:29,935 --> 00:13:31,394 - Okay. - I... 293 00:13:31,394 --> 00:13:32,646 You hung up. 294 00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:34,231 If you tied the ropes tight enough, 295 00:13:34,231 --> 00:13:36,107 she'll still be there when you get back. 296 00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:44,241 Huh? - Tess, it's me. 297 00:13:44,241 --> 00:13:45,867 Susie? It's so early. 298 00:13:45,867 --> 00:13:47,661 Have we heard from that guy from the insurance company? 299 00:13:47,661 --> 00:13:49,204 - I really got to get... - Wait. 300 00:13:49,204 --> 00:13:50,830 What? 301 00:13:52,457 --> 00:13:54,834 Shit. - What? 302 00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:57,337 Ah, for a moment, I thought Skint was dead. 303 00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:58,755 Well, that's my life in a nutshell. 304 00:13:58,755 --> 00:13:59,965 Fucking focus here. 305 00:13:59,965 --> 00:14:01,591 Check. I need the check. - Yes. 306 00:14:01,591 --> 00:14:03,260 He called yesterday, said we could come by 307 00:14:03,260 --> 00:14:04,719 and pick it up at the office. 308 00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:06,805 Great. Good. We are going this morning. 309 00:14:06,805 --> 00:14:08,265 I will be by in an hour. 310 00:14:08,265 --> 00:14:10,183 All right. Geez. 311 00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:16,314 Hi. Uh... 312 00:14:16,314 --> 00:14:17,941 Can I help you? 313 00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:21,111 Why? Are you with the... 314 00:14:21,111 --> 00:14:23,113 Wait. Hold on. 315 00:14:24,573 --> 00:14:26,116 Ha. 316 00:14:26,116 --> 00:14:28,034 I'm actually getting pretty fluent here. 317 00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:30,704 I ordered tea, and I told the plumber to fix the toilet. 318 00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:32,414 I got tea, and he fixed the sink, 319 00:14:32,414 --> 00:14:34,708 so we're getting close. 320 00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:36,251 Here we go. 321 00:14:36,251 --> 00:14:37,836 Ni hao. 322 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:41,298 There's more. Just, um... 323 00:14:42,841 --> 00:14:44,676 You méiyou... 324 00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:48,847 Something, something. Where the hell is "something"? 325 00:14:48,847 --> 00:14:50,890 Wait. I'll find it. 326 00:14:51,933 --> 00:14:53,351 Uh... 327 00:14:53,351 --> 00:14:57,230 You méiyou nali women keyi... 328 00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:59,232 Uh, hold on. 329 00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:01,026 Five minutes. 330 00:15:01,026 --> 00:15:03,486 You bing gang gen... 331 00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:05,697 Yep. Right behind you. 332 00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:24,424 How do you know what I want you to do? 333 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,885 You don't listen. You just care about you. 334 00:15:26,885 --> 00:15:28,637 What you want. 335 00:15:28,637 --> 00:15:30,055 That is not true. 336 00:15:30,055 --> 00:15:31,389 I work very hard for this family! 337 00:15:31,389 --> 00:15:33,808 I am always the one you send in to... 338 00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:35,435 You rang? 339 00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:38,855 Really? You sent Li Wei after him? 340 00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:41,232 - You want to tell me what's going on? - I didn't know they were gonna 341 00:15:41,232 --> 00:15:43,068 send him up there... or that he could fit through the door. 342 00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:50,533 He says he hears your club is doing well. 343 00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:52,952 - Hold on. - You're kidding, right? 344 00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,287 This is my neighborhood now. 345 00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:56,081 I'm gonna learn to speak the language. 346 00:15:56,081 --> 00:15:57,582 Uh, okay. 347 00:15:57,582 --> 00:16:00,293 Uh, my... place... of... 348 00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:02,295 Joel, people have a life expectancy. 349 00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:05,382 Yep. Tell them the club is doing sensational. 350 00:16:05,382 --> 00:16:08,176 Great buzz. First few nights completely sold out. 351 00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:13,473 And I have big plans for the place. 352 00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,266 Uh, private events, specialty nights. 353 00:16:15,266 --> 00:16:16,768 I'm thinking of putting in a kitchen 354 00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:18,228 and starting food service. 355 00:16:21,106 --> 00:16:22,524 Hey, can you amp up 356 00:16:22,524 --> 00:16:24,693 the excitement a little? I'm selling here. 357 00:16:24,693 --> 00:16:29,989 No! No food. No private events. No kitchen. 358 00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,533 Food will make the money smell. 359 00:16:31,533 --> 00:16:35,412 He either stops doing well or he just stops. 360 00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:36,996 - What did he say? - I can't tell him that. 361 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:37,997 What did you say? 362 00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,541 You tell him now. 363 00:16:39,541 --> 00:16:40,875 Mei, please. What are your parents upset about? 364 00:16:40,875 --> 00:16:42,419 I never said they were my parents. 365 00:16:42,419 --> 00:16:44,087 She used to listen to you. 366 00:16:44,087 --> 00:16:45,797 You let her go to school. 367 00:16:45,797 --> 00:16:46,965 It's a law! 368 00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:49,676 I've got parents. That sounds like parents to me. 369 00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:51,386 You've grown too close to this man. 370 00:16:51,386 --> 00:16:52,887 This is not why we brought you into this. 371 00:16:52,887 --> 00:16:54,264 I did everything I could! 372 00:16:54,264 --> 00:16:55,849 I gave him a jukebox with nothing but Chinese records 373 00:16:55,849 --> 00:16:57,475 in it, for Christ's sake! 374 00:16:57,475 --> 00:17:01,938 That was months ago. Now I hear you bring him toilet paper. 375 00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:03,523 No more! 376 00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:06,401 You will have no more contact with that man. 377 00:17:06,401 --> 00:17:08,027 You tell him to leave. 378 00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,612 Now! 379 00:17:12,907 --> 00:17:14,492 So... 380 00:17:14,492 --> 00:17:16,453 The club is doing too well. 381 00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:18,455 Most landlords want their tenants to do well. 382 00:17:18,455 --> 00:17:19,956 I never said they were the landlords. 383 00:17:19,956 --> 00:17:22,417 - Mei... - They wanted a business that looked legit 384 00:17:22,417 --> 00:17:24,169 but didn't cause too much of a splash. 385 00:17:24,169 --> 00:17:26,796 A dud club means less eyes on the parlor. 386 00:17:26,796 --> 00:17:29,257 A successful club means eyes. 387 00:17:29,257 --> 00:17:31,968 They just assumed your club would fail. 388 00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:33,303 Why? 389 00:17:33,303 --> 00:17:35,180 'Cause you're a Jewish ex-plastics salesman 390 00:17:35,180 --> 00:17:36,681 who suddenly opened a club in Chinatown 391 00:17:36,681 --> 00:17:39,142 with an English to Chinese dictionary from the 1800s. 392 00:17:39,142 --> 00:17:40,977 I... 393 00:17:40,977 --> 00:17:43,188 - Shit. - My expectations were low. 394 00:17:43,188 --> 00:17:44,939 Well, why are they mad at you? 395 00:17:44,939 --> 00:17:47,901 Because I was supposed to make sure you failed. 396 00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:49,694 Is that why you gave me a jukebox 397 00:17:49,694 --> 00:17:51,112 with nothing but Chinese records in it? 398 00:17:51,112 --> 00:17:53,031 No. That was a gift. Please. 399 00:17:53,031 --> 00:17:55,617 So, if I'm reading the room right, 400 00:17:55,617 --> 00:17:57,660 the people who may or may not be your parents 401 00:17:57,660 --> 00:17:59,746 and may or may not be my landlords, 402 00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:02,040 - they either want me to fail or... - Leave. 403 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:05,460 I thought "or die," so "leave" is better. 404 00:18:07,045 --> 00:18:10,882 Hey, Mata Hari, what side are you on now? 405 00:18:10,882 --> 00:18:13,551 Your side. I swear. 406 00:18:13,551 --> 00:18:15,970 I'm not sure if that helps me or not. 407 00:18:19,516 --> 00:18:20,850 Thank you. 408 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,519 You're welcome, man. 409 00:18:32,654 --> 00:18:34,197 Faster! Faster! Faster! 410 00:18:34,197 --> 00:18:37,617 - Look, look! - Oh, Ethan, that's wonderful. 411 00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:40,662 You know, when I was a boy, I had a sock. 412 00:18:40,662 --> 00:18:42,163 That was my toy. 413 00:18:42,163 --> 00:18:44,999 Stuck my hand in it and said, "Where did my fingers go?" 414 00:18:44,999 --> 00:18:47,418 That was the game. The end. 415 00:18:47,418 --> 00:18:49,420 And nobody cares. 416 00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:50,839 Well said, Moishe. 417 00:18:50,839 --> 00:18:53,758 I have knishes hot out of the oven. 418 00:18:53,758 --> 00:18:56,302 - What are you reading? - A book. 419 00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:59,180 - Is it Peter Rabbit? - It is not Peter Rabbit. 420 00:18:59,180 --> 00:19:01,266 I read Peter Rabbit. 421 00:19:01,266 --> 00:19:02,892 Next up, Proust. 422 00:19:02,892 --> 00:19:05,144 Why do you have fur on your lip? 423 00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:07,355 That's called a mustache. 424 00:19:07,355 --> 00:19:09,899 It looks like a crawly caterpillar. 425 00:19:09,899 --> 00:19:11,776 It does not. 426 00:19:11,776 --> 00:19:13,611 - It does. - I think it moved. 427 00:19:13,611 --> 00:19:15,238 That's because I'm talking. 428 00:19:15,238 --> 00:19:16,906 Stop that. 429 00:19:16,906 --> 00:19:18,825 - I'll get it. - No, I'll get it. 430 00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:21,286 - I'm already up. - But I'm getting it! Rose. 431 00:19:21,286 --> 00:19:23,454 - Abe, my goodness. - Well, they're being mean. 432 00:19:23,454 --> 00:19:26,332 None of the grown-ups are doing anything to stop it. 433 00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:28,626 - Shit. - Hello? Maisel residence. 434 00:19:28,626 --> 00:19:30,086 Shirley? It's Miriam. 435 00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:33,172 Miriam, hello. It's Miriam. 436 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,008 Where are you calling from? Prague? 437 00:19:35,008 --> 00:19:37,802 - Yes. I'm in Prague. - Well, take a lot of pictures, 438 00:19:37,802 --> 00:19:39,470 and tell them you love Jesus Christ. 439 00:19:39,470 --> 00:19:41,764 It sounds pretty lively over there. What's going on? 440 00:19:41,764 --> 00:19:43,892 - It's Ethan's birthday. - No, it's not. 441 00:19:43,892 --> 00:19:45,727 Yes, it is. I made three cakes. 442 00:19:45,727 --> 00:19:47,395 Shirley, it's not Ethan's birthday. 443 00:19:47,395 --> 00:19:50,064 Whatever you say. I have to check the cutlets. 444 00:19:50,064 --> 00:19:52,066 Speak to your father. 445 00:19:54,235 --> 00:19:56,112 Hello, Miriam? Are you in Prague? 446 00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:58,698 Make sure you work Jesus Christ into every conversation. 447 00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:01,242 I will. Hey, why did Shirley say Ethan's having a birthday party? 448 00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:03,202 His birthday's in November. - Not anymore. 449 00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,871 What-what do you mean, "not anymore"? 450 00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:07,206 Eh, November was bad for us. I have deadlines. 451 00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:09,375 Moishe has his spring fabrics arriving. 452 00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:11,961 Shirley's cousin Yetta is coming for a visit. 453 00:20:11,961 --> 00:20:13,504 I don't know what your mother's doing, 454 00:20:13,504 --> 00:20:16,299 - but it was bad for her, too. - I have work, Abe. 455 00:20:16,299 --> 00:20:18,760 Your mother claims she has work, 456 00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:20,261 so it just didn't work for any of us. 457 00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:23,389 Are you seriously telling me you rescheduled Ethan's birthday? 458 00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:24,557 He's five. 459 00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:26,100 What does he know? - Papa! 460 00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:28,895 What? The boy has three cakes, 461 00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:30,521 and we're taking him to Coney Island 462 00:20:30,521 --> 00:20:32,774 - to ride the Wonder Wheel. - I can't believe this. 463 00:20:32,774 --> 00:20:35,276 How does this affect you? You weren't going to be here 464 00:20:35,276 --> 00:20:37,111 - for it anyhow. - What's the matter? 465 00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:39,155 Miriam's upset we changed Ethan's birthday. 466 00:20:39,155 --> 00:20:40,573 - Why? - No idea. 467 00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:43,409 Papa, you don't just change a little boy's birthday. 468 00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:44,911 We changed your brother's birthday twice. 469 00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:46,579 He never found out. - You... 470 00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:48,414 Who are you people? 471 00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:51,125 This borders on inhuman and unfeeling 472 00:20:51,125 --> 00:20:53,211 and... Wait, did you change my birthday? 473 00:20:53,211 --> 00:20:55,129 No. Listen, Miriam, 474 00:20:55,129 --> 00:20:57,507 we have to wrap things up here and get to Coney Island. 475 00:20:57,507 --> 00:20:59,801 Ethan! Wish your son a happy birthday. 476 00:20:59,801 --> 00:21:01,886 It's not his... - Ethan! 477 00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:05,515 Hi, Mommy. I got 478 00:21:05,515 --> 00:21:06,849 a fire truck, cowboy guns 479 00:21:06,849 --> 00:21:08,393 - and a baseball. - Ethan. 480 00:21:08,393 --> 00:21:09,978 We're gonna ride the Wonder Wheel. 481 00:21:09,978 --> 00:21:11,312 Honey, all of that is exciting, 482 00:21:11,312 --> 00:21:13,815 but today is just not your actual... 483 00:21:13,815 --> 00:21:15,400 Happy birthday, baby. 484 00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:17,276 I want cake. 485 00:21:22,907 --> 00:21:26,202 ♪ The best things in life are free ♪ 486 00:21:26,202 --> 00:21:29,122 ♪ But you can give them to the birds and bees ♪ 487 00:21:29,122 --> 00:21:30,957 - I need money ♪ - ♪ That's... 488 00:21:30,957 --> 00:21:33,459 Hi. Uh, we are here for the Myerson check. 489 00:21:33,459 --> 00:21:35,336 I'm Susie Myerson. This is my sister, Tess. 490 00:21:35,336 --> 00:21:36,462 And how are you this morning? 491 00:21:36,462 --> 00:21:37,714 Fine. We just need our check. 492 00:21:37,714 --> 00:21:39,007 Well, let me have a look-see here. 493 00:21:39,007 --> 00:21:40,591 Ah, you're Mr. Frick's clients. 494 00:21:40,591 --> 00:21:41,884 Yes, we are. Does he have the check? 495 00:21:41,884 --> 00:21:43,386 Why don't you have a seat, and I'll buzz him for you. 496 00:21:43,386 --> 00:21:44,637 - Tell him to bring the check. - Will do. 497 00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:47,724 You have to relax. 498 00:21:47,724 --> 00:21:49,767 - I'll relax when I get that check. - Well, well, 499 00:21:49,767 --> 00:21:51,853 the Myerson girls. How nice to see you. 500 00:21:51,853 --> 00:21:54,355 - Well, technically, I'm a Dooley. - Nobody cares. 501 00:21:54,355 --> 00:21:56,524 Uh, hello, Mr. Frick. We are here for the check. 502 00:21:56,524 --> 00:21:58,568 You mean you're not here to see me? I'm hurt. 503 00:21:58,568 --> 00:22:00,903 I'm kidding. Would you two like some coffee? 504 00:22:00,903 --> 00:22:02,697 - No, we're fine. - Do you have any hot chocolate? 505 00:22:02,697 --> 00:22:05,074 You want a balloon, too? We'll just take the check. 506 00:22:05,074 --> 00:22:06,325 Sure, sure. But Mr. B said 507 00:22:06,325 --> 00:22:07,994 not to let you leave without saying hello. 508 00:22:07,994 --> 00:22:09,704 - Who? - Great guy. Come on. 509 00:22:14,751 --> 00:22:16,335 Mm. 510 00:22:50,161 --> 00:22:53,331 Make yourselves comfortable. He'll be right in. 511 00:22:55,166 --> 00:22:58,377 Susie, I'm not really good at reading certain situations, 512 00:22:58,377 --> 00:22:59,879 but this seems a little... 513 00:22:59,879 --> 00:23:01,005 - Fucked-up. - Yeah. 514 00:23:01,005 --> 00:23:02,298 Where are we? 515 00:23:04,092 --> 00:23:05,259 I didn't mean to scare you. 516 00:23:05,259 --> 00:23:06,594 Oh, we're not scared. 517 00:23:06,594 --> 00:23:08,638 We love secret rooms with no handles on the door. 518 00:23:08,638 --> 00:23:10,640 I'm Mr. Bartosiewicz, 519 00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:12,934 but you can just call me Mr. B. 520 00:23:12,934 --> 00:23:15,061 I'm Susie. This is Tess. 521 00:23:15,061 --> 00:23:16,395 I know who you are. 522 00:23:16,395 --> 00:23:17,647 Should we sit? 523 00:23:20,108 --> 00:23:23,236 Okay. Let's see what we have here. 524 00:23:23,236 --> 00:23:25,113 We just came by to pick up the check 525 00:23:25,113 --> 00:23:27,907 like Mr. Frick told us to, so that's why we're here. 526 00:23:27,907 --> 00:23:29,826 To get the check. 527 00:23:29,826 --> 00:23:31,077 You're gonna get your check. 528 00:23:31,077 --> 00:23:32,453 Great. 529 00:23:32,453 --> 00:23:34,163 I just need some answers first. 530 00:23:34,163 --> 00:23:36,415 Where were you two girls when you heard about it? 531 00:23:36,415 --> 00:23:37,792 About what? 532 00:23:37,792 --> 00:23:39,544 About the fire. 533 00:23:39,544 --> 00:23:41,462 Church. 534 00:23:41,462 --> 00:23:42,964 Church? 535 00:23:42,964 --> 00:23:44,632 Yeah. That's where we usually are. 536 00:23:44,632 --> 00:23:47,260 Uh, in church or going to church, 537 00:23:47,260 --> 00:23:48,803 - coming back from church. - Mm-hmm. 538 00:23:48,803 --> 00:23:50,138 And what about you? 539 00:23:50,138 --> 00:23:52,849 Put me down for church, also. 540 00:23:52,849 --> 00:23:54,392 Okay. 541 00:23:54,392 --> 00:23:56,978 So, you're both in church. 542 00:23:56,978 --> 00:23:59,981 That's when, um, Tess' husband found us there 543 00:23:59,981 --> 00:24:02,608 - and told us there was a fire. - It was very upsetting. 544 00:24:02,608 --> 00:24:05,361 Thank God we were in church, where everyone's upset. 545 00:24:05,361 --> 00:24:07,363 And your husband can corroborate this? 546 00:24:07,363 --> 00:24:09,490 Finding you both in church? 547 00:24:10,533 --> 00:24:12,994 - He's drunk a lot. - Mm. 548 00:24:12,994 --> 00:24:14,745 - So his memory gets fuzzy. - Mm. 549 00:24:14,745 --> 00:24:17,165 Any idea how it started? 550 00:24:17,165 --> 00:24:19,041 The drinking? Oh, that's a family thing. 551 00:24:19,041 --> 00:24:21,002 He's talking about the fire, Tess. 552 00:24:21,002 --> 00:24:22,712 Any theories? Wild thoughts? 553 00:24:22,712 --> 00:24:25,214 Yeah, maybe Mom fell asleep with a cigarette in her hand. 554 00:24:25,214 --> 00:24:27,049 Yep, that does happen a lot. 555 00:24:27,049 --> 00:24:29,844 Of course, your mom is dead, so... 556 00:24:29,844 --> 00:24:31,846 Right. I forgot. 557 00:24:31,846 --> 00:24:33,764 She is dead. 558 00:24:33,764 --> 00:24:35,641 - Tess. - Bad wiring! 559 00:24:35,641 --> 00:24:37,185 That's good. Bad wiring. 560 00:24:37,185 --> 00:24:40,188 Bad wiring. Interesting. 561 00:24:41,689 --> 00:24:43,774 So, is there, like, an investigation going on or...? 562 00:24:43,774 --> 00:24:45,860 Just working the case. 563 00:24:45,860 --> 00:24:47,987 Case. So it's a case? 564 00:24:47,987 --> 00:24:50,531 You know, some neighbors reported 565 00:24:50,531 --> 00:24:53,284 seeing a couple of women paddling around in a rowboat 566 00:24:53,284 --> 00:24:54,535 - that night. - Women in a rowboat? 567 00:24:54,535 --> 00:24:55,786 What's this world coming to? 568 00:24:55,786 --> 00:24:57,371 They said they were drinking beer, laughing, 569 00:24:57,371 --> 00:24:59,373 - singing, at one point. - Oh. 570 00:24:59,373 --> 00:25:02,293 Do you have any idea who those two women might be? 571 00:25:02,293 --> 00:25:05,171 - No, we do not. - Yeah, beats me. 572 00:25:05,171 --> 00:25:08,299 Okay. Well, unfortunately, 573 00:25:08,299 --> 00:25:09,884 there's still some loose ends we need to tie 574 00:25:09,884 --> 00:25:11,886 before we get that check out to you, 575 00:25:11,886 --> 00:25:13,387 but we will be in touch. 576 00:25:13,387 --> 00:25:15,890 - So no check today. - Not today. But... 577 00:25:15,890 --> 00:25:18,476 Denise did bring in some of her coffee cake. 578 00:25:18,476 --> 00:25:20,895 I bet I could scrounge up a piece. 579 00:25:20,895 --> 00:25:24,023 - Ooh. - Hey, how about a good faith down payment? 580 00:25:24,023 --> 00:25:25,900 You know, ten percent to show you care? 581 00:25:25,900 --> 00:25:27,985 Wouldn't that be nice, huh? 582 00:25:27,985 --> 00:25:29,403 Yeah. 583 00:25:32,198 --> 00:25:34,200 Hey, so, can we leave? 584 00:25:35,785 --> 00:25:37,787 No reason why you can't. 585 00:25:42,792 --> 00:25:44,794 Nice to meet you, Tess. 586 00:25:50,925 --> 00:25:52,927 Boy, he seemed nice. 587 00:25:52,927 --> 00:25:55,221 Nice? Were you paying attention? 588 00:25:55,221 --> 00:25:56,889 They know what we did, Tess. 589 00:25:56,889 --> 00:25:59,475 So, what, you think they're not gonna give us the check? 590 00:25:59,475 --> 00:26:00,685 I think they're gonna call the cops. 591 00:26:00,685 --> 00:26:01,936 Over that shitty house? 592 00:26:01,936 --> 00:26:03,312 Hey, arson is arson. 593 00:26:03,312 --> 00:26:05,064 You make it sound so dark. 594 00:26:05,064 --> 00:26:06,399 What are we gonna do? 595 00:26:06,399 --> 00:26:07,692 Do you think we're gonna go to jail? 596 00:26:07,692 --> 00:26:09,068 I-I don't want to go to jail. 597 00:26:09,068 --> 00:26:10,987 Okay. Well, let's just tell them that. 598 00:26:10,987 --> 00:26:14,198 Don't you snark at me, lady. I was doing you a favor. 599 00:26:14,198 --> 00:26:17,326 I know. I know. 600 00:26:17,326 --> 00:26:19,370 And now I need you to do me another favor. 601 00:26:19,370 --> 00:26:21,122 Us another favor. 602 00:26:21,122 --> 00:26:24,166 That guy in there holds our fate in his big, meaty hand, 603 00:26:24,166 --> 00:26:26,585 - and he likes you. - Me? No. 604 00:26:26,585 --> 00:26:27,962 - You think? - Of the two of us, 605 00:26:27,962 --> 00:26:29,547 there's only one he wanted to bend over that desk. 606 00:26:29,547 --> 00:26:31,632 Well, that's nice. 607 00:26:31,632 --> 00:26:33,884 We need to flip this guy, Tess. Okay? 608 00:26:33,884 --> 00:26:36,262 He has to be convinced to overlook the fact that we are 609 00:26:36,262 --> 00:26:38,139 the worst fucking criminals in the entire world. 610 00:26:38,139 --> 00:26:39,598 No. There have to be worse. 611 00:26:39,598 --> 00:26:41,976 Take one for the team? Get this guy on our side? 612 00:26:41,976 --> 00:26:44,145 - By doing what? - The same thing you did 613 00:26:44,145 --> 00:26:45,354 that got our high school principal fired. 614 00:26:45,354 --> 00:26:47,356 I'm a married woman, for Christ's sake. 615 00:26:47,356 --> 00:26:49,442 If that meant anything to you at all, I wouldn't ask. 616 00:26:49,442 --> 00:26:50,693 You think I'm a whore? 617 00:26:50,693 --> 00:26:52,320 That I ain't got a line in the sand? 618 00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:54,071 - Huh? - Tess, I have seen you 619 00:26:54,071 --> 00:26:56,115 let your tit fall out of your shirt for a free beer. 620 00:26:56,115 --> 00:26:57,450 Imported beer. 621 00:26:57,450 --> 00:26:59,327 I'm not saying you have to fuck him. 622 00:26:59,327 --> 00:27:01,579 But when you see him, 623 00:27:01,579 --> 00:27:03,664 I want you to think Heineken. 624 00:27:03,664 --> 00:27:05,333 I will see what I can do. 625 00:27:05,333 --> 00:27:06,751 Okay. I got to go. 626 00:27:06,751 --> 00:27:09,587 You're good? All, uh, shaved and everything? 627 00:27:09,587 --> 00:27:11,589 - Go. Please. Now. - Okay. 628 00:27:11,589 --> 00:27:13,215 Bye. 629 00:27:13,215 --> 00:27:15,968 - Okay, this one's done. - Great. 630 00:27:15,968 --> 00:27:17,678 What's in here? 631 00:27:17,678 --> 00:27:19,221 Manny? 632 00:27:19,221 --> 00:27:21,557 - Teacups. - I don't have teacups, Manny. 633 00:27:21,557 --> 00:27:23,601 - Tchotchkes? - What am I, your fucking grandmother? 634 00:27:23,601 --> 00:27:25,311 I don't know. It's not Jockey shorts. 635 00:27:25,311 --> 00:27:27,730 - I'm not going near your Jockey shorts. - Well, that's a relief. 636 00:27:27,730 --> 00:27:29,357 10:00. I'm gonna have a cigarette. 637 00:27:29,357 --> 00:27:31,233 You can't smoke in here, Manny. 638 00:27:31,233 --> 00:27:33,194 Even though I helped you pack? 639 00:27:35,071 --> 00:27:36,822 ♪ Though I couldn't... 640 00:27:36,822 --> 00:27:39,367 And it's my Jockey shorts. 641 00:27:40,701 --> 00:27:42,161 - What are you doing here? - Can I come in? 642 00:27:42,161 --> 00:27:43,913 - Why aren't you on tour? - I... 643 00:27:43,913 --> 00:27:45,289 - Didn't you go with Midge? - I did. 644 00:27:45,289 --> 00:27:47,166 - But... - Yes, come in. 645 00:27:48,209 --> 00:27:50,252 Where's Midge? Is she on tour? 646 00:27:50,252 --> 00:27:52,004 - Is she okay? - Miriam's fine. 647 00:27:52,004 --> 00:27:54,715 What's "fine"? Where's "fine"? Define "fine," Susie. 648 00:27:54,715 --> 00:27:57,385 Relax. God, you two have a weird relationship. 649 00:27:57,385 --> 00:28:00,137 ♪ Then I knew just what I would be missing... 650 00:28:00,137 --> 00:28:01,806 I need Midge's money. 651 00:28:01,806 --> 00:28:04,058 - You told me not to give you Midge's money. - I know. 652 00:28:04,058 --> 00:28:06,852 You said under no circumstances was I to give you Midge's money. 653 00:28:06,852 --> 00:28:08,896 - I know what I said, but... - Plus, you realize 654 00:28:08,896 --> 00:28:10,815 you never actually gave me Midge's money, right? 655 00:28:10,815 --> 00:28:12,483 You were gonna get me Midge's money, 656 00:28:12,483 --> 00:28:14,235 but I never got the money, so I don't know 657 00:28:14,235 --> 00:28:16,070 how I could give you the money that you haven't given me. 658 00:28:16,070 --> 00:28:17,530 And even if you had given me the money, 659 00:28:17,530 --> 00:28:18,781 you told me not to give you that money, 660 00:28:18,781 --> 00:28:21,075 so either way, you can't have the money. 661 00:28:21,075 --> 00:28:23,577 Okay. I need you to loan me the money. 662 00:28:23,577 --> 00:28:24,703 - Loan you the... - Yeah. 663 00:28:24,703 --> 00:28:26,122 - Bank check would be best. - Sure. 664 00:28:26,122 --> 00:28:27,248 - Though cash would work. - Uh-huh. 665 00:28:27,248 --> 00:28:28,791 Let me get this straight. 666 00:28:28,791 --> 00:28:30,626 I wasn't supposed to give you the money 667 00:28:30,626 --> 00:28:31,710 that you're supposed to give to Midge 668 00:28:31,710 --> 00:28:32,753 that you didn't give to me, 669 00:28:32,753 --> 00:28:34,422 but now I'm supposed to give you my money? 670 00:28:34,422 --> 00:28:36,715 Even though I know because you told me two days ago 671 00:28:36,715 --> 00:28:37,842 that the minute you get any money, 672 00:28:37,842 --> 00:28:39,844 - you lose it immediately. - Yes. 673 00:28:39,844 --> 00:28:41,887 - Nap time. - Mr. Maisel. 674 00:28:41,887 --> 00:28:44,306 Mr. Maisel, we've had a security breach, 675 00:28:44,306 --> 00:28:47,101 and the building is on lockdown. 676 00:28:47,101 --> 00:28:48,644 You run fucking slow. 677 00:28:48,644 --> 00:28:51,647 Don't you ever not sign my guest sheet again. 678 00:28:51,647 --> 00:28:53,190 You hear me? 679 00:28:53,190 --> 00:28:54,775 - We were talking. - Please continue. 680 00:28:54,775 --> 00:28:56,318 It was a private conversation. 681 00:28:56,318 --> 00:28:58,362 I might have respected that if you had signed my sheet. 682 00:28:58,362 --> 00:29:01,365 - Susie... - Look, I just need the money. 683 00:29:01,365 --> 00:29:02,992 So, one more time from the top? 684 00:29:02,992 --> 00:29:04,660 - What if I had a gun? - You don't have a gun. 685 00:29:04,660 --> 00:29:05,911 - But if I did? - But you don't. 686 00:29:05,911 --> 00:29:07,371 - I have a gun. - On you? 687 00:29:07,371 --> 00:29:09,123 Or you got to run and go get it and run back again? 688 00:29:09,123 --> 00:29:10,499 What happened to the money 689 00:29:10,499 --> 00:29:12,334 that you said you were gonna transfer to me, huh? 690 00:29:12,334 --> 00:29:14,211 The money that you were keeping for Midge? Where is it? 691 00:29:14,211 --> 00:29:15,796 Know what? Never mind. Just forget it. 692 00:29:15,796 --> 00:29:18,340 - Susie... - Just don't tell Miriam I came here 693 00:29:18,340 --> 00:29:20,759 - when you see her. - When am I gonna see her? 694 00:29:20,759 --> 00:29:22,553 Is she here? I thought she was in Prague. 695 00:29:22,553 --> 00:29:24,346 - I got to go. - You do have to go. 696 00:29:24,346 --> 00:29:27,099 Think it's nice you live with your mom, by the way. 697 00:29:27,099 --> 00:29:30,519 That one could use a good smack. 698 00:29:38,068 --> 00:29:41,030 Hear that lonesome ♪ 699 00:29:41,030 --> 00:29:43,491 ♪ whip-poor-will... 700 00:29:43,491 --> 00:29:45,284 Fuck. 701 00:29:46,285 --> 00:29:48,078 One more. 702 00:29:48,078 --> 00:29:50,289 To fly ♪ 703 00:29:50,289 --> 00:29:52,458 {\an8}♪ The midnight train... 704 00:29:52,458 --> 00:29:53,959 You know it's June. 705 00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:57,630 We like the picture. 706 00:29:57,630 --> 00:29:59,340 What should we play? 707 00:29:59,340 --> 00:30:01,091 You look like sporting men. 708 00:30:01,091 --> 00:30:03,677 I guess your card, I get a drink. 709 00:30:03,677 --> 00:30:05,763 - Beat it. - Oh, no. I'm good. 710 00:30:05,763 --> 00:30:07,181 You'll love this. Tell him. 711 00:30:07,181 --> 00:30:09,600 - I don't know you. - Oh, well, I'm very famous. 712 00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:11,519 I perform for crown heads of Europe. 713 00:30:11,519 --> 00:30:13,812 And the rest of their bodies if they're still attached. 714 00:30:13,812 --> 00:30:16,649 I have met the queen. She matched me drink for drink, 715 00:30:16,649 --> 00:30:18,275 and then we... 716 00:30:18,275 --> 00:30:21,278 Slippery stool here. Now, wouldn't that be a story? 717 00:30:21,278 --> 00:30:23,906 Cause of death: slippery barstool. 718 00:30:23,906 --> 00:30:26,325 Not a manly death like fighting in a war 719 00:30:26,325 --> 00:30:28,035 - or choking on steak. - Christ. 720 00:30:28,035 --> 00:30:31,247 Take a card. I'm a pacifist and a vegetarian, 721 00:30:31,247 --> 00:30:34,041 so I guess it's the deadly barstool for me. 722 00:30:34,041 --> 00:30:35,543 Put it back. 723 00:30:37,253 --> 00:30:38,671 Ooh. 724 00:30:38,671 --> 00:30:40,673 - This your card? - Shit. Yeah. 725 00:30:40,673 --> 00:30:42,424 - Whiskey neat. - You're picking those up. 726 00:30:42,424 --> 00:30:44,677 Think of a number. I guess right, 727 00:30:44,677 --> 00:30:46,262 you pick up the cards. 728 00:30:46,262 --> 00:30:48,722 - Fucking hate magicians. - Oh, that's just Alfie. 729 00:30:48,722 --> 00:30:51,267 - He's a regular. - Yeah, well, if he tries to pull 730 00:30:51,267 --> 00:30:53,852 a quarter out of my nose, I'm gonna jam a rabbit up his ass. 731 00:30:53,852 --> 00:30:55,771 - Shit. - Pick a card. 732 00:30:55,771 --> 00:30:57,523 I guess right, you buy me a drink. 733 00:30:57,523 --> 00:30:59,650 - Maybe some other time. - Oh, bad day? 734 00:30:59,650 --> 00:31:01,819 - Wow. You are magic. - Here. 735 00:31:01,819 --> 00:31:03,862 Just for fun. Which hand? 736 00:31:03,862 --> 00:31:05,573 - What am I, six? - For fun. 737 00:31:05,573 --> 00:31:06,949 Get your mind off things. 738 00:31:06,949 --> 00:31:08,784 That one. I watched you pick it up. 739 00:31:08,784 --> 00:31:10,869 Which hand? For fun. 740 00:31:10,869 --> 00:31:12,871 I know you're having enough trouble finding money as it is, 741 00:31:12,871 --> 00:31:14,164 - right? - What? 742 00:31:14,164 --> 00:31:15,666 Which hand? 743 00:31:16,917 --> 00:31:18,586 {\an8}Two out of three. Which hand? 744 00:31:18,586 --> 00:31:20,337 - Wait, that was two out of three. - Three out of four. 745 00:31:20,337 --> 00:31:22,381 Just for fun. Can't let you go up in smoke, 746 00:31:22,381 --> 00:31:23,632 - right? - Hey, how did you... 747 00:31:23,632 --> 00:31:26,135 - Pick a hand. - I'm gonna be fucking wrong! 748 00:31:26,135 --> 00:31:28,512 {\an8}- Have a little faith. - Alfie, come on. 749 00:31:28,512 --> 00:31:30,514 {\an8}I was trying to let you win. 750 00:31:30,514 --> 00:31:33,767 Look, pal, screw with someone else, huh? 751 00:31:39,815 --> 00:31:43,319 You know, it's not good to sit in a bar when you're depressed. 752 00:31:43,319 --> 00:31:44,695 He's gonna keep talking to me. 753 00:31:44,695 --> 00:31:46,238 Sometimes it's good to be somewhere 754 00:31:46,238 --> 00:31:47,448 that makes you smile. 755 00:31:47,448 --> 00:31:48,907 Alfie. 756 00:31:48,907 --> 00:31:51,744 Where would you like to be right now? 757 00:31:51,744 --> 00:31:54,246 - Fucking place but here. - Hmm. 758 00:31:54,246 --> 00:31:57,207 What's the opposite of here? 759 00:31:57,207 --> 00:31:59,084 How about... here? 760 00:32:03,589 --> 00:32:05,966 What the fuck? 761 00:32:08,677 --> 00:32:10,638 What the hell just happened? 762 00:32:10,638 --> 00:32:12,264 You just bought him a drink. 763 00:32:12,264 --> 00:32:15,017 ♪ I'm so lonesome... 764 00:32:15,017 --> 00:32:16,518 Fucking hate magicians. 765 00:32:19,355 --> 00:32:23,901 ♪ Harvey mentioned his home, a tropical town ♪ 766 00:32:33,285 --> 00:32:35,871 - In Coney Island ♪ - In Coney Island ♪ 767 00:32:37,790 --> 00:32:40,876 - In Coney Island ♪ - ♪ In Coney Island... 768 00:32:40,876 --> 00:32:42,586 Everyone stay together. 769 00:32:42,586 --> 00:32:45,506 {\an8}- Oh, boys, look. - It's not a real mermaid. 770 00:32:45,506 --> 00:32:47,841 {\an8}- She sold us pickles earlier. Keep moving. - Hi. 771 00:32:47,841 --> 00:32:49,426 Boy, Abe, are you fun. 772 00:32:49,426 --> 00:32:52,179 This wasn't supposed to be an all-day outing, Moishe. 773 00:32:52,179 --> 00:32:55,557 Stop that. The agreement was one ride on the Wonder Wheel, 774 00:32:55,557 --> 00:32:56,892 then home. Stop that. 775 00:32:56,892 --> 00:32:59,603 It did not include the whole of Coney Island. 776 00:32:59,603 --> 00:33:02,815 Stop that. We have now been heading toward the Wonder Wheel 777 00:33:02,815 --> 00:33:04,358 for a full two hours. 778 00:33:04,358 --> 00:33:06,819 We've stopped for games and T-shirts 779 00:33:06,819 --> 00:33:09,279 and funny pictures of us sticking our heads 780 00:33:09,279 --> 00:33:12,074 through cutouts of bodybuilders and cowboys. 781 00:33:12,074 --> 00:33:14,660 I mean it. It's time we do 782 00:33:14,660 --> 00:33:16,870 - what we came here for already. - Look what I got! 783 00:33:16,870 --> 00:33:19,581 Here we go! I scream, you scream ♪ 784 00:33:19,581 --> 00:33:21,166 We all scream for ice cream ♪♪ 785 00:33:21,166 --> 00:33:23,085 - Oh, for the love of God. - For Jacob 786 00:33:23,085 --> 00:33:26,505 - and Petey and Moishe and Joely. - Thank you. 787 00:33:26,505 --> 00:33:28,632 We've come to a dead stop here, Shirley. 788 00:33:28,632 --> 00:33:30,467 And for Rose and for me. 789 00:33:30,467 --> 00:33:33,220 We can give out ice cream and walk at the same time, 790 00:33:33,220 --> 00:33:34,555 - can't we? - Grandma, Grandma. - And finally... 791 00:33:34,555 --> 00:33:36,181 Oh, the birthday boy. 792 00:33:36,181 --> 00:33:37,850 By the time we get there... 793 00:33:37,850 --> 00:33:40,185 - Wait, no ice cream for me? - You don't eat ice cream. 794 00:33:40,185 --> 00:33:42,271 You don't eat anything, and she got you one. 795 00:33:42,271 --> 00:33:43,731 I got to get something to drink. 796 00:33:43,731 --> 00:33:45,107 We'll lose the others. 797 00:33:45,107 --> 00:33:47,067 Oh, they'll be back. 798 00:33:48,444 --> 00:33:50,279 You know, I schtupped your mother 799 00:33:50,279 --> 00:33:51,655 under this very boardwalk. 800 00:33:51,655 --> 00:33:53,031 Thank you for that. 801 00:33:53,031 --> 00:33:55,075 Just thought you'd like a little family history. 802 00:33:55,075 --> 00:33:56,910 - Two. - You got it. 803 00:33:58,078 --> 00:33:59,913 Everything okay at the club? 804 00:33:59,913 --> 00:34:01,957 Fine. Why would you say that? 805 00:34:01,957 --> 00:34:04,084 You got a look all Maisel men get 806 00:34:04,084 --> 00:34:06,587 when they got work troubles or prostate issues. 807 00:34:06,587 --> 00:34:08,422 I just... 808 00:34:08,422 --> 00:34:09,882 got these landlords, 809 00:34:09,882 --> 00:34:11,842 and they're a little upset with me. 810 00:34:11,842 --> 00:34:14,052 - Why? - The club's drawing too much attention 811 00:34:14,052 --> 00:34:15,304 to their other business. 812 00:34:15,304 --> 00:34:17,598 - You know, downstairs? - Ah, yes. 813 00:34:17,598 --> 00:34:19,266 I can't be at war with these people. 814 00:34:19,266 --> 00:34:20,851 For many reasons. 815 00:34:20,851 --> 00:34:22,811 - Then you got to pay 'em. - I do pay them. 816 00:34:22,811 --> 00:34:25,105 Not rent, you yutz. Payola. Give 'em a taste. 817 00:34:25,105 --> 00:34:26,690 I don't think that's what they're looking for. 818 00:34:26,690 --> 00:34:28,859 Of course it is. There's not a thing in the world 819 00:34:28,859 --> 00:34:31,111 that money can't fix. You see your son? 820 00:34:31,111 --> 00:34:33,197 Had a fit to win that Popeye doll 821 00:34:33,197 --> 00:34:34,907 at the whack-a-mole game back there. 822 00:34:34,907 --> 00:34:37,367 You think he's really such a terrific whack-a-mole player? 823 00:34:37,367 --> 00:34:39,578 You saw him. All he hit was the kid next to him. 824 00:34:39,578 --> 00:34:41,079 I slip the guy five bucks, 825 00:34:41,079 --> 00:34:43,332 suddenly, Ethan's the king of whack-a-mole. 826 00:34:43,332 --> 00:34:45,209 Five bucks. Got the doll. What did we learn? 827 00:34:45,209 --> 00:34:47,503 Nothing. Including how to play whack-a-mole. 828 00:34:47,503 --> 00:34:49,505 Abe, please. It was an accident. 829 00:34:49,505 --> 00:34:51,924 You saw we took a wrong turn and said nothing. 830 00:34:51,924 --> 00:34:55,093 And now we have to double back around the Parachute Jump, 831 00:34:55,093 --> 00:34:57,262 and if we get vomited on from the sky, 832 00:34:57,262 --> 00:34:58,680 it's on your head. Stop that. 833 00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:00,432 This is a wonderful camera, Mr. Weissman. 834 00:35:00,432 --> 00:35:01,683 I'm glad you like it. Keep up. 835 00:35:01,683 --> 00:35:03,352 I got beautiful shots of the boardwalk 836 00:35:03,352 --> 00:35:05,145 and the ocean and very funny pony rides. 837 00:35:05,145 --> 00:35:07,064 - Double-time, double-time. - I was thinking 838 00:35:07,064 --> 00:35:09,608 - we could get one all together? - Absolutely not. 839 00:35:09,608 --> 00:35:11,401 Hello. We need, uh... 840 00:35:11,401 --> 00:35:13,529 Did you boys bring any money from home? 841 00:35:13,529 --> 00:35:15,864 No? Great. Guess I'm paying. 842 00:35:15,864 --> 00:35:19,326 ♪ At the seashore, by the tropical ♪ 843 00:35:20,661 --> 00:35:22,663 Joey! 844 00:35:24,540 --> 00:35:27,960 Joey! 845 00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:29,670 Tell your parents I'll give them ten percent of the take. 846 00:35:29,670 --> 00:35:31,004 - Joel... - Just tell 'em. 847 00:35:31,004 --> 00:35:32,631 First of all, I never said they were my parents, 848 00:35:32,631 --> 00:35:34,508 and second of all, this wasn't a shakedown. 849 00:35:34,508 --> 00:35:35,884 Whatever it is, that's the deal. 850 00:35:35,884 --> 00:35:37,761 I'll tell them five and let them say ten. 851 00:35:37,761 --> 00:35:38,887 You're just so much more successful 852 00:35:38,887 --> 00:35:40,347 than you were supposed to be. 853 00:35:40,347 --> 00:35:43,141 So, now that your search and destroy mission is over... 854 00:35:43,141 --> 00:35:44,560 It wasn't a search and destroy mission. 855 00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:45,769 Just a destroy mission. 856 00:35:45,769 --> 00:35:46,895 Now that it's over, 857 00:35:46,895 --> 00:35:48,647 you still gonna be coming around? 858 00:35:48,647 --> 00:35:50,023 Yes. 859 00:35:50,023 --> 00:35:52,693 A lot. Too much. 860 00:35:52,693 --> 00:35:54,736 It makes you feel any better, the rent they're charging you 861 00:35:54,736 --> 00:35:56,280 - is really low. - That's something. 862 00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:57,865 They will be raising it next year, however. 863 00:35:57,865 --> 00:35:59,867 It will be ridiculously high and unfair. 864 00:35:59,867 --> 00:36:01,994 Terrific. I'll see you tonight? 865 00:36:01,994 --> 00:36:04,663 Yes. I'll be in my rent collector's outfit. 866 00:36:04,663 --> 00:36:07,124 If anyone can pull it off, it's you. 867 00:36:09,543 --> 00:36:12,713 Pretzels! Get your pretzels! 868 00:36:12,713 --> 00:36:15,716 Get your pretzels! Pretzels! 869 00:36:28,061 --> 00:36:30,981 It's short. He owes me a dollar. You owe me a dollar! 870 00:36:30,981 --> 00:36:33,150 Abe, either go over to the booth and discuss it 871 00:36:33,150 --> 00:36:34,985 or accept that he owes you a dollar. 872 00:36:34,985 --> 00:36:37,946 But if I go over there, you will all follow, 873 00:36:37,946 --> 00:36:40,032 and I will never get this... Stop that. 874 00:36:40,032 --> 00:36:42,492 I will never get this train back on the tracks. 875 00:36:42,492 --> 00:36:44,453 - Who wants some funnel cake? - Shirley, no. 876 00:36:44,453 --> 00:36:45,746 - Me! - Say cheese! 877 00:36:45,746 --> 00:36:47,497 Zelda, please. I'm gonna take that camera back. 878 00:36:47,497 --> 00:36:49,207 Abe, I have to make a call at 3:00, 879 00:36:49,207 --> 00:36:51,376 so we either have to be done with the ride by then, 880 00:36:51,376 --> 00:36:53,754 - or we should wait until after. - Who are you calling? 881 00:36:53,754 --> 00:36:56,673 It's a potential client, if you must know. 882 00:36:56,673 --> 00:36:59,259 Is this that matchmaking business again? 883 00:36:59,259 --> 00:37:01,178 I-I have to tell you, I don't get it. 884 00:37:01,178 --> 00:37:03,347 Well, you don't have to get it. Only I have to get it. 885 00:37:03,347 --> 00:37:05,724 How lazy are people anyway? 886 00:37:05,724 --> 00:37:08,477 I mean, they can't just find spouses on their own? 887 00:37:08,477 --> 00:37:10,520 - You didn't. - Of course I did. 888 00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:12,731 I met you through a family friend. Sonja. 889 00:37:12,731 --> 00:37:14,775 Yes, Sonja the matchmaker. 890 00:37:14,775 --> 00:37:16,944 - Mama! - Miriam. 891 00:37:16,944 --> 00:37:18,278 Mommy! 892 00:37:18,278 --> 00:37:20,364 I heard someone had an unexpected birthday. 893 00:37:20,364 --> 00:37:22,407 - What are you doing here? - You said you were 894 00:37:22,407 --> 00:37:24,785 - in Prague. - I did, yes. 895 00:37:24,785 --> 00:37:26,912 - But... - Explain later. Everyone, on the cars. Now. 896 00:37:26,912 --> 00:37:28,372 Why aren't you on tour? 897 00:37:28,372 --> 00:37:30,123 Why'd you let them change our son's birthday? 898 00:37:30,123 --> 00:37:31,333 - It was out of my control. - Same here. 899 00:37:31,333 --> 00:37:32,793 I wish you'd told me you were coming back. 900 00:37:32,793 --> 00:37:34,086 We could've moved his birthday to tomorrow. 901 00:37:34,086 --> 00:37:35,879 I was actually hoping I could talk to you all 902 00:37:35,879 --> 00:37:37,547 about what happened. Maybe we could go somewhere... 903 00:37:37,547 --> 00:37:39,967 No time. Rose, move. Shirley, go with Rose. Oh. 904 00:37:39,967 --> 00:37:41,885 - But-but, Papa, I... - Miriam, 905 00:37:41,885 --> 00:37:43,595 we'll pay attention to you later. 906 00:37:43,595 --> 00:37:45,597 Ethan, go. Joel, go. Moishe, go. 907 00:37:45,597 --> 00:37:47,641 - If I could just talk to you for a minute. - Sorry. Jacob. 908 00:37:47,641 --> 00:37:50,435 - Petey, go. Zelda, come. - I want to stay here 909 00:37:50,435 --> 00:37:52,270 - and take pictures. - Papa, please. - Oh. 910 00:37:52,270 --> 00:37:53,814 Miriam, um... 911 00:37:53,814 --> 00:37:55,691 Return this for me. 912 00:37:55,691 --> 00:37:58,068 Mention that he shorted me a dollar. Don't press it. 913 00:37:58,068 --> 00:37:59,820 I'm not threatening legal action. 914 00:37:59,820 --> 00:38:01,989 But if there is someone official around, 915 00:38:01,989 --> 00:38:05,325 complain in a very loud voice, then cry and faint. 916 00:38:05,325 --> 00:38:07,160 But... Wait. Wait! 917 00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:10,330 - I want to talk... - Tickets, please. 918 00:38:10,330 --> 00:38:12,958 - Sorry. I got to... - Lady, what are you doing? 919 00:38:12,958 --> 00:38:15,585 - There's a line! - Mama, I really need... 920 00:38:15,585 --> 00:38:17,421 Oy. 921 00:38:17,421 --> 00:38:19,589 Miriam, I don't understand! 922 00:38:19,589 --> 00:38:22,259 How are you here if you were in Prague 923 00:38:22,259 --> 00:38:24,928 - this morning? - I decided to come home early! 924 00:38:24,928 --> 00:38:27,973 - Why? - Because they told me to! 925 00:38:27,973 --> 00:38:29,933 - The Czechoslovakians? - No! 926 00:38:29,933 --> 00:38:32,519 - Was the tour canceled? - No! 927 00:38:32,519 --> 00:38:34,479 - Just me! - What? 928 00:38:34,479 --> 00:38:37,232 I said something onstage that they didn't like, 929 00:38:37,232 --> 00:38:39,860 so they fired me. I was fired! 930 00:38:39,860 --> 00:38:40,986 - No! - What? 931 00:38:40,986 --> 00:38:42,612 What did you say? What did she say? 932 00:38:42,612 --> 00:38:44,072 Oh, Miriam, how awful. 933 00:38:44,072 --> 00:38:46,241 - What did you say onstage? - Just jokes! 934 00:38:46,241 --> 00:38:47,367 Very funny jokes, 935 00:38:47,367 --> 00:38:49,077 which I must point out was the job description, 936 00:38:49,077 --> 00:38:51,496 but they got mad and dropped me from the tour. 937 00:38:51,496 --> 00:38:54,541 At the airport. On the tarmac. 938 00:38:54,541 --> 00:38:57,753 Outside where everyone could see you? How humiliating. 939 00:38:57,753 --> 00:38:59,504 I'm sorry, did you say you were fired? 940 00:38:59,504 --> 00:39:01,673 Yes, Moishe, I was fired! 941 00:39:01,673 --> 00:39:03,759 That's very disturbing to hear, Miriam. 942 00:39:03,759 --> 00:39:05,177 Especially as your lender. 943 00:39:05,177 --> 00:39:07,012 - I know, Moishe. - Wait, what did you say? 944 00:39:07,012 --> 00:39:08,263 I'm sorry, Moishe! 945 00:39:08,263 --> 00:39:09,473 Did he say "as your lender"? 946 00:39:09,473 --> 00:39:10,849 I will make it up to you, Moishe! 947 00:39:10,849 --> 00:39:12,225 What does that mean, "as your lender"? 948 00:39:12,225 --> 00:39:14,227 Your contract was your collateral. 949 00:39:14,227 --> 00:39:15,562 Do you know what collateral is, Miriam? 950 00:39:15,562 --> 00:39:17,731 I do, but you're going to tell me anyway. 951 00:39:17,731 --> 00:39:19,066 Collateral is that thing you used 952 00:39:19,066 --> 00:39:20,984 to get me to sell you that apartment back! 953 00:39:20,984 --> 00:39:23,320 - What apartment? - Your contract had numbers 954 00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:24,488 indicating money. 955 00:39:24,488 --> 00:39:26,948 And a Christmas special with Bob Hope. 956 00:39:26,948 --> 00:39:28,450 Remember the Christmas special, Miriam? 957 00:39:28,450 --> 00:39:31,453 The Christmas special never had Bob Hope in it, Moishe. 958 00:39:31,453 --> 00:39:33,163 - What apartment? - Our apartment. 959 00:39:33,163 --> 00:39:35,248 Our apartment? You bought our apartment? 960 00:39:35,248 --> 00:39:37,375 Yes, I bought our apartment. 961 00:39:37,375 --> 00:39:39,086 And you borrowed money from my father? 962 00:39:39,086 --> 00:39:40,754 - Why is that bad? - It's not. 963 00:39:40,754 --> 00:39:41,880 It sure as fuck is! 964 00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:43,965 I don't understand. What did she buy? 965 00:39:43,965 --> 00:39:45,467 She bought her apartment! 966 00:39:45,467 --> 00:39:48,053 - What apartment? - Our apartment, Abe! 967 00:39:48,053 --> 00:39:49,304 You don't have an apartment. 968 00:39:49,304 --> 00:39:51,473 Their old apartment, Abe! 969 00:39:51,473 --> 00:39:53,475 I can't believe you borrowed money from my father! 970 00:39:53,475 --> 00:39:55,352 Joel, I'm not going to mention that I picked up 971 00:39:55,352 --> 00:39:57,771 on a very insulting tone there, but I did. 972 00:39:57,771 --> 00:39:59,481 - Why would you do that? - Why would you do that? 973 00:39:59,481 --> 00:40:01,191 Because I loved that apartment! 974 00:40:01,191 --> 00:40:03,318 Because I was happy in that apartment. 975 00:40:03,318 --> 00:40:06,196 I want the kids to grow up in that apartment. 976 00:40:06,196 --> 00:40:07,489 They won't have a yard! 977 00:40:07,489 --> 00:40:09,658 I know, Shirley! 978 00:40:09,658 --> 00:40:11,618 Can we get back to the point that I was swindled 979 00:40:11,618 --> 00:40:13,286 and my son insulted me? 980 00:40:13,286 --> 00:40:15,789 - You did not get swindled. - I did not insult you, 981 00:40:15,789 --> 00:40:17,082 and she didn't know she was gonna get fired. 982 00:40:17,082 --> 00:40:19,417 - She should've assumed. - Why? 983 00:40:19,417 --> 00:40:21,002 Because you can't tell a joke. 984 00:40:21,002 --> 00:40:23,338 I've told you that over and over and over, 985 00:40:23,338 --> 00:40:24,673 but you just won't listen! 986 00:40:24,673 --> 00:40:26,925 That's right! You won't! 987 00:40:26,925 --> 00:40:29,386 I will figure out a way to get you your money. 988 00:40:29,386 --> 00:40:31,513 - How much did you borrow? - Why do you want to know? 989 00:40:31,513 --> 00:40:33,765 - I'm talking to Midge. - Would you like some privacy? 990 00:40:33,765 --> 00:40:35,517 - Maybe I can help her out. - With what? 991 00:40:35,517 --> 00:40:37,435 Sonja was not a matchmaker. 992 00:40:37,435 --> 00:40:39,563 - Of course she was. - No. 993 00:40:39,563 --> 00:40:41,982 Matchmakers get paid. No one paid her. 994 00:40:41,982 --> 00:40:44,526 - Your mother paid her. - What? 995 00:40:44,526 --> 00:40:48,113 Abe, for God's sake, you were 30 and unmarried! 996 00:40:48,113 --> 00:40:49,906 Plus, your wardrobe. 997 00:40:49,906 --> 00:40:51,908 They had to throw in a savings bond 998 00:40:51,908 --> 00:40:53,869 and a Turkish ceremonial rifle set 999 00:40:53,869 --> 00:40:56,246 - for my father! - That's where he got that? 1000 00:40:56,246 --> 00:40:58,373 I need a pen. Who has a pen? 1001 00:40:58,373 --> 00:41:00,500 Aren't you supposed to be prepared for anything? 1002 00:41:00,500 --> 00:41:02,252 That's the Boy Scouts, Moishe. 1003 00:41:02,252 --> 00:41:04,171 I need to do some math here! 1004 00:41:04,171 --> 00:41:07,090 You do not need to do any math! You will get your money. 1005 00:41:07,090 --> 00:41:09,426 - I don't believe you. - You think I'd lie to you 1006 00:41:09,426 --> 00:41:11,553 - on my son's fake birthday? - What? 1007 00:41:11,553 --> 00:41:14,014 That was our apartment! You should've discussed it with me. 1008 00:41:14,014 --> 00:41:15,807 - Why? - At the very least, I could've told you 1009 00:41:15,807 --> 00:41:17,392 to never borrow money from my father. 1010 00:41:17,392 --> 00:41:19,102 How did I become the bad guy here? 1011 00:41:19,102 --> 00:41:21,479 Where did you get the idea to buy your apartment? 1012 00:41:21,479 --> 00:41:24,232 How did I wind up in a cage with Petey and Jacob?! 1013 00:41:24,232 --> 00:41:25,942 This funnel cake is delicious. 1014 00:41:25,942 --> 00:41:27,903 Ethan! 1015 00:41:27,903 --> 00:41:30,572 Is your funnel cake delicious? 1016 00:41:30,572 --> 00:41:33,950 Jacob, is your funnel cake delicious? 1017 00:41:33,950 --> 00:41:37,037 Petey, is your funnel cake delicious? 1018 00:41:37,037 --> 00:41:38,747 Hey, lady, shut up! 1019 00:41:38,747 --> 00:41:41,541 - You shut up! - No, you shut up! 1020 00:41:41,541 --> 00:41:44,878 Two thousand feet in the air. That's a very dangerous height 1021 00:41:44,878 --> 00:41:47,214 to tell a Jewish man he's been had! 1022 00:41:47,214 --> 00:41:49,299 What about a Catholic? Is it a good height for a Catholic? 1023 00:41:49,299 --> 00:41:51,009 Was that the joke that got you fired? 1024 00:41:51,009 --> 00:41:53,470 You'll get your money. 1025 00:41:53,470 --> 00:41:55,347 - If I had a nickel... - What? 1026 00:41:55,347 --> 00:41:58,558 If I had a nickel! But I don't because you got fired. 1027 00:41:58,558 --> 00:42:01,519 Who wants another funnel cake? 1028 00:42:01,519 --> 00:42:03,605 I did not intend to tell everyone this way. 1029 00:42:03,605 --> 00:42:05,565 Look, when we get back to the house, 1030 00:42:05,565 --> 00:42:07,150 we can sit down and discuss this 1031 00:42:07,150 --> 00:42:09,819 like normal, civilized goddamn people! 1032 00:42:09,819 --> 00:42:11,238 Okay? 1033 00:42:12,822 --> 00:42:14,950 So fun. 1034 00:42:14,950 --> 00:42:17,160 - Say cheese! - Oh! 1035 00:42:19,871 --> 00:42:22,040 Every day, I get home from work, and she's left me a list. 1036 00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:24,960 "Take out the trash. Fix the sink. Walk the dog." 1037 00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:27,754 - You got a dog? - "By the way, we got a dog." 1038 00:42:27,754 --> 00:42:29,965 Now, I know we've had some problems, 1039 00:42:29,965 --> 00:42:32,217 but still, I'm doing everything I can to make it all up to her, 1040 00:42:32,217 --> 00:42:33,885 - and she's not giving an inch. - Have a good night. 1041 00:42:33,885 --> 00:42:35,762 - See you next time. - Plus, she's never home. 1042 00:42:35,762 --> 00:42:37,597 She's always at secretarial school, 1043 00:42:37,597 --> 00:42:39,724 which is probably why the lists she leaves me 1044 00:42:39,724 --> 00:42:40,809 are so professional. 1045 00:42:40,809 --> 00:42:43,478 So, today, I'm out with Fletcher... 1046 00:42:43,478 --> 00:42:45,480 - Who? - The dog. And I'm thinking about everything, 1047 00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:46,523 and I'm starting to get mad. 1048 00:42:46,523 --> 00:42:48,566 I decide to confront her. Tonight. 1049 00:42:48,566 --> 00:42:50,902 So, she comes home, and I'm standing there, 1050 00:42:50,902 --> 00:42:52,320 all ready for that cold, steely, 1051 00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:54,489 Oktoberfest pretzel waitress stare of hers, 1052 00:42:54,489 --> 00:42:56,533 and I say, "Imogene, we need to talk." 1053 00:42:56,533 --> 00:42:58,785 She says give her a minute. She goes into the bedroom. 1054 00:42:58,785 --> 00:43:00,912 Two minutes later, she comes out. 1055 00:43:00,912 --> 00:43:02,789 Completely naked. 1056 00:43:02,789 --> 00:43:05,250 - Imogene? - I am frozen. Speechless. 1057 00:43:05,250 --> 00:43:08,628 And then she smiles and says, "Have a great night at the club. 1058 00:43:08,628 --> 00:43:10,588 Tell Joel I said hello." 1059 00:43:10,588 --> 00:43:12,340 And cool as a cucumber, 1060 00:43:12,340 --> 00:43:13,758 she turns and just leaves the room. 1061 00:43:13,758 --> 00:43:15,677 Are you serious? She said to tell me hello? 1062 00:43:17,721 --> 00:43:20,140 Fuck. 1063 00:43:20,140 --> 00:43:22,142 One second. 1064 00:43:22,142 --> 00:43:25,729 ♪ Sahara, where it got to be warm ♪ 1065 00:43:25,729 --> 00:43:27,689 ♪ Oh... 1066 00:43:27,689 --> 00:43:29,941 Our first shakedown. 1067 00:43:29,941 --> 00:43:32,193 We are officially in the nightclub business. 1068 00:43:34,029 --> 00:43:36,656 ♪ These gallops are... 1069 00:43:37,699 --> 00:43:39,909 Bank's open tonight. 1070 00:43:39,909 --> 00:43:41,494 Follow me. 1071 00:43:42,495 --> 00:43:46,166 ♪ Anymore... 1072 00:43:51,212 --> 00:43:52,630 Sit. 1073 00:43:52,630 --> 00:43:55,467 - Okay. So, what's... - Don't talk. 1074 00:43:59,054 --> 00:44:00,680 Midge needs her money. 1075 00:44:00,680 --> 00:44:02,307 - Yeah, I know. - No. 1076 00:44:02,307 --> 00:44:03,892 That's talking. 1077 00:44:03,892 --> 00:44:05,518 She needs her money 1078 00:44:05,518 --> 00:44:07,562 in order to pay my father for our old apartment 1079 00:44:07,562 --> 00:44:09,481 that, apparently, she bought back from him yesterday. 1080 00:44:09,481 --> 00:44:10,940 Did you know that? 1081 00:44:10,940 --> 00:44:12,275 She did it when I wasn't looking. 1082 00:44:12,275 --> 00:44:13,735 That's some top-notch managing. 1083 00:44:13,735 --> 00:44:15,612 You are kicking a one-legged dog, man. 1084 00:44:15,612 --> 00:44:17,072 Okay, well, she needs her money, 1085 00:44:17,072 --> 00:44:19,115 so I am going to write you a check. 1086 00:44:19,115 --> 00:44:21,951 You will then write her a check based on this check, 1087 00:44:21,951 --> 00:44:23,870 and she will have her money 1088 00:44:23,870 --> 00:44:25,705 and will never know that you did not. 1089 00:44:25,705 --> 00:44:28,541 Really? Wow, I can't believe you would do that. 1090 00:44:28,541 --> 00:44:31,628 Hey, listen, you are not most of the things 1091 00:44:31,628 --> 00:44:32,921 I have called you in the past. 1092 00:44:32,921 --> 00:44:34,464 However... 1093 00:44:34,464 --> 00:44:36,299 before I hand this over to you, 1094 00:44:36,299 --> 00:44:38,134 we're gonna have a little chat. 1095 00:44:38,134 --> 00:44:40,053 - Shit. - Yeah, shit. 1096 00:44:40,053 --> 00:44:41,304 Exactly shit. 1097 00:44:41,304 --> 00:44:43,223 And you are gonna tell me everything. 1098 00:44:43,223 --> 00:44:45,433 What happened to Midge's money, 1099 00:44:45,433 --> 00:44:47,102 what you did with it, what she thinks you did with it, 1100 00:44:47,102 --> 00:44:48,269 et cetera. 1101 00:44:48,269 --> 00:44:49,979 How big a drink you want? 1102 00:44:49,979 --> 00:44:52,982 - This big. - Coming right up. 1103 00:44:56,986 --> 00:45:00,156 As Dorothy Parker once said ♪ 1104 00:45:00,156 --> 00:45:03,034 {\an8}♪ To her boyfriend, "Fare thee well" ♪ 1105 00:45:03,034 --> 00:45:06,037 Love, love, love, lovely ♪ 1106 00:45:06,037 --> 00:45:09,207 ♪ As Columbus announced when he knew he was bounced ♪ 1107 00:45:09,207 --> 00:45:11,876 ♪ "It was swell, Isabel, swell" ♪ 1108 00:45:11,876 --> 00:45:14,879 ♪ Love, love, love, love, love, love, lovely ♪ 1109 00:45:14,879 --> 00:45:18,591 It was ♪♪ 1110 00:45:18,591 --> 00:45:20,927 Any messages? Shit, are you sure? 1111 00:45:20,927 --> 00:45:22,512 I was supposed to have a gig this weekend. 1112 00:45:22,512 --> 00:45:23,888 Okay, what about Harry Corn? 1113 00:45:23,888 --> 00:45:26,266 Did he have any messages about a gig? 1114 00:45:26,266 --> 00:45:28,685 Chip Glenn? Anything for him? 1115 00:45:28,685 --> 00:45:31,020 Well, who's got a gig I can steal over there? 1116 00:45:31,020 --> 00:45:32,522 It worked great in Boston, Philly. 1117 00:45:32,522 --> 00:45:33,857 I get to Denver, nothing. 1118 00:45:33,857 --> 00:45:35,692 Well, it's an East Coast joke. My lunch joke, 1119 00:45:35,692 --> 00:45:37,444 I have a different sandwich for each part of the country. 1120 00:45:37,444 --> 00:45:38,945 - Which sandwich is funniest? - Hoagie. 1121 00:45:38,945 --> 00:45:41,072 - Hoagie is a funny sandwich. - Put that away. 1122 00:45:41,072 --> 00:45:42,866 Someone sees that check, they'll follow you home, 1123 00:45:42,866 --> 00:45:44,075 knock you in the head and steal it. 1124 00:45:44,075 --> 00:45:46,369 Follow me home? That's 50 blocks. 1125 00:45:46,369 --> 00:45:48,246 Why not just knock me in the head right outside? 1126 00:45:48,246 --> 00:45:50,248 I'd love to, but first, can we talk business? 1127 00:45:50,248 --> 00:45:52,625 - Of course. - So, past is behind us. 1128 00:45:52,625 --> 00:45:54,919 Shy who? One less what? Fuck him. 1129 00:45:54,919 --> 00:45:57,422 - Moving forward, we need a game plan. - Agreed. 1130 00:45:57,422 --> 00:45:59,048 - And I was thinking... - Well, if it isn't Mrs. Maisel. 1131 00:45:59,048 --> 00:46:00,675 I told him not to do this. 1132 00:46:00,675 --> 00:46:02,844 I am not doing anything. I'm just stopping by 1133 00:46:02,844 --> 00:46:05,555 to say hello to a fellow comic and... Oh, look here. 1134 00:46:05,555 --> 00:46:07,891 - Have you seen this? - Yeah, we saw the Jack Ballard thing. 1135 00:46:07,891 --> 00:46:09,809 - Oh, this is better. - What is it? 1136 00:46:09,809 --> 00:46:11,269 It's a good, old-fashioned hit job 1137 00:46:11,269 --> 00:46:13,104 - about a certain Mrs. Maisel. - What? 1138 00:46:13,104 --> 00:46:15,064 You know, she comes out of nowhere, 1139 00:46:15,064 --> 00:46:17,066 and suddenly, she's palling around with Lenny Bruce 1140 00:46:17,066 --> 00:46:20,153 and opening for Shy Baldwin. Blah, blah, blah. She's a whore. 1141 00:46:20,153 --> 00:46:21,613 And there's a picture. 1142 00:46:22,655 --> 00:46:25,450 "But suddenly, 1143 00:46:25,450 --> 00:46:27,911 the seemingly charmed downtown darling 1144 00:46:27,911 --> 00:46:30,788 has landed right on her pretty derriere. 1145 00:46:30,788 --> 00:46:33,291 Rumor has it she was unceremoniously dumped 1146 00:46:33,291 --> 00:46:36,794 by the Baldwin team right there on track six 1147 00:46:36,794 --> 00:46:39,756 at Penn Station. They left her unemployed 1148 00:46:39,756 --> 00:46:40,924 and clutching her suitcase." 1149 00:46:40,924 --> 00:46:42,425 At least he likes my ass. 1150 00:46:42,425 --> 00:46:45,011 "I hear a similar thing happened with Sophie Lennon. 1151 00:46:45,011 --> 00:46:46,763 Mrs. Maisel has quite the knack 1152 00:46:46,763 --> 00:46:48,056 for securing these choice jobs..." 1153 00:46:48,056 --> 00:46:50,141 Blah, blah, blah. She's a whore. 1154 00:46:50,141 --> 00:46:52,268 "...and a better knack for losing them. 1155 00:46:52,268 --> 00:46:55,104 What is the real story with this giggle girl, anyway? 1156 00:46:55,104 --> 00:46:58,191 And what exactly happened at that show at the Apollo? 1157 00:46:58,191 --> 00:47:01,444 - I'll get back to you on that one." - Well, my work here is done. 1158 00:47:01,444 --> 00:47:03,821 - You are a sad, little man, Eugene. - I am. 1159 00:47:03,821 --> 00:47:05,240 But I have my moments. 1160 00:47:05,240 --> 00:47:07,992 No, he doesn't. 1161 00:47:09,035 --> 00:47:11,329 Who the fuck is this guy? 1162 00:47:11,329 --> 00:47:13,665 - L. Roy Dunham? - Don't know, 1163 00:47:13,665 --> 00:47:15,875 but he's seen The Sweet Smell of Success one too many times. 1164 00:47:15,875 --> 00:47:17,210 You know what really sucks about this? 1165 00:47:17,210 --> 00:47:20,171 That gig? That Apollo gig? It went great. 1166 00:47:20,171 --> 00:47:22,257 - The crowd loved me. - I know. 1167 00:47:22,257 --> 00:47:23,675 And they loved me because I just went out there 1168 00:47:23,675 --> 00:47:25,885 and started talking. I didn't have anything planned. 1169 00:47:25,885 --> 00:47:27,345 I just riffed. 1170 00:47:27,345 --> 00:47:28,471 - What's the point? - The point is 1171 00:47:28,471 --> 00:47:29,973 that's always when I'm the best, Susie. 1172 00:47:29,973 --> 00:47:33,434 Think about it. Think about my truly great shows. 1173 00:47:33,434 --> 00:47:35,895 Not the good, solid, polished ones 1174 00:47:35,895 --> 00:47:37,814 but the ones that were epic. 1175 00:47:37,814 --> 00:47:39,816 You know, the first night drunken tit-wagging show 1176 00:47:39,816 --> 00:47:42,235 - comes to mind. - The Sophie Lennon showcase. 1177 00:47:42,235 --> 00:47:44,779 - That one still hurts. - But epic, right? 1178 00:47:44,779 --> 00:47:47,865 The one you arranged with Lenny. The Penny Pann takedown. 1179 00:47:47,865 --> 00:47:49,701 Ruined my marriage and any chance at happiness, 1180 00:47:49,701 --> 00:47:51,995 - so great set. - Great fucking set. 1181 00:47:51,995 --> 00:47:54,414 - Detroit. - Kansas City. New Orleans. 1182 00:47:54,414 --> 00:47:56,624 - Myrtle Beach. - And now the Apollo. 1183 00:47:56,624 --> 00:47:58,251 All those shows, one of a kind. 1184 00:47:58,251 --> 00:48:00,461 The kind of shows that only I could do. 1185 00:48:00,461 --> 00:48:02,672 - Agreed. - Susie. 1186 00:48:02,672 --> 00:48:05,300 - Miriam. - You know what's great about me? 1187 00:48:05,300 --> 00:48:07,093 - Your humility? - No. 1188 00:48:07,093 --> 00:48:08,928 It's when I'm me. 1189 00:48:08,928 --> 00:48:10,513 So, why would I wait 1190 00:48:10,513 --> 00:48:11,639 until I finally have enough power 1191 00:48:11,639 --> 00:48:13,182 to say to them, "I want to be me"? 1192 00:48:13,182 --> 00:48:15,727 - What if they never let me be me? - They will. 1193 00:48:15,727 --> 00:48:18,104 I want to be me every time I walk out on that stage. 1194 00:48:18,104 --> 00:48:19,814 - You will. - No. Listen, 1195 00:48:19,814 --> 00:48:21,316 if I'm gonna do this, Susie, 1196 00:48:21,316 --> 00:48:24,110 if I'm gonna leave Esther and Ethan for weeks on end, 1197 00:48:24,110 --> 00:48:25,612 miss their birthdays-- 1198 00:48:25,612 --> 00:48:28,489 real and fake-- their recitals and school plays, 1199 00:48:28,489 --> 00:48:30,742 I'm not gonna do it for a bunch of lipstick jokes 1200 00:48:30,742 --> 00:48:32,410 or bad room service jokes. 1201 00:48:32,410 --> 00:48:34,329 - Yeah, but... - No. If I'm gonna do that, 1202 00:48:34,329 --> 00:48:37,498 I'm gonna say exactly what's on my mind all the time. 1203 00:48:37,498 --> 00:48:41,252 Every single show, I am gonna say something. 1204 00:48:41,252 --> 00:48:44,464 Yes. Fine. Clearly, that is the goal. 1205 00:48:44,464 --> 00:48:46,924 But if you are gonna open for a guy like Shy Baldwin 1206 00:48:46,924 --> 00:48:49,218 or Pat Boone or Rosemary Clooney, 1207 00:48:49,218 --> 00:48:51,387 you may have to do a room service joke. 1208 00:48:51,387 --> 00:48:54,307 - Then no more opening act gigs. - What? 1209 00:48:54,307 --> 00:48:56,309 I will only do gigs where I can say what I want. 1210 00:48:56,309 --> 00:48:57,727 - Midge... - That's what Lenny would do. 1211 00:48:57,727 --> 00:48:59,896 That's different. He's Lenny Bruce. 1212 00:48:59,896 --> 00:49:02,649 Well, then make me Lenny Bruce. Make me a headliner. 1213 00:49:02,649 --> 00:49:04,817 How am I supposed to do that if I can't even book you? 1214 00:49:04,817 --> 00:49:07,278 I don't know. You're my manager. Manage me. 1215 00:49:07,278 --> 00:49:09,864 Miriam, I hear you. I do. 1216 00:49:09,864 --> 00:49:11,783 But you know as well as I do 1217 00:49:11,783 --> 00:49:13,951 that's not how the business works. 1218 00:49:15,995 --> 00:49:18,206 Then let's change the business. 1219 00:49:20,708 --> 00:49:22,877 You know, my father once said to me, 1220 00:49:22,877 --> 00:49:24,170 "If you're gonna have a voice, 1221 00:49:24,170 --> 00:49:26,255 you better be careful what that voice says." 1222 00:49:27,632 --> 00:49:29,676 Now, he was talking about anti-Semitic Nazis. 1223 00:49:29,676 --> 00:49:31,886 He's always talking about anti-Semitic Nazis. 1224 00:49:31,886 --> 00:49:33,596 Two anti-Semitic Nazis walk into a bar, 1225 00:49:33,596 --> 00:49:35,139 and one says to the other, "Who does your taxes?" 1226 00:49:35,139 --> 00:49:38,518 But a voice... Thank you. 1227 00:49:38,518 --> 00:49:40,728 But a voice is a powerful thing. 1228 00:49:40,728 --> 00:49:42,605 It can shine a light 1229 00:49:42,605 --> 00:49:45,608 on something that is hiding in the dark. 1230 00:49:45,608 --> 00:49:49,278 It can make a couple of guys sit when they want to go. 1231 00:49:49,278 --> 00:49:51,280 Yeah, sit down! 1232 00:49:51,280 --> 00:49:53,241 It can change the way people think, 1233 00:49:53,241 --> 00:49:55,576 which can change the way people act. 1234 00:49:55,576 --> 00:49:59,706 But it can't do anything if you keep your mouth shut. 1235 00:50:01,332 --> 00:50:03,876 Well, lesson fucking learned. 1236 00:50:03,876 --> 00:50:07,130 Thank you and good night! 1237 00:50:20,143 --> 00:50:23,980 Being good ♪ 1238 00:50:25,148 --> 00:50:29,569 Isn't good enough ♪ 1239 00:50:30,987 --> 00:50:34,991 Being good ♪ 1240 00:50:34,991 --> 00:50:40,329 Won't be good enough ♪ 1241 00:50:41,372 --> 00:50:43,166 Got to fly ♪ 1242 00:50:43,166 --> 00:50:50,006 And if I fall ♪ 1243 00:50:50,006 --> 00:50:55,595 ♪ That's the way it's got to be ♪ 1244 00:50:55,595 --> 00:51:02,185 There's no other way for me ♪ 1245 00:51:02,185 --> 00:51:05,021 {\an8}Being good ♪ 1246 00:51:05,021 --> 00:51:10,193 {\an8}Just won't be good enough ♪ 1247 00:51:10,193 --> 00:51:15,573 {\an8}I'll be the best ♪ 1248 00:51:15,573 --> 00:51:19,202 {\an8}Or nothing ♪ 1249 00:51:19,202 --> 00:51:26,167 {\an8}At all ♪♪ 1250 00:51:36,552 --> 00:51:40,139 {\an8}♪ A look a-there, here she comes ♪ 1251 00:51:40,139 --> 00:51:43,559 {\an8}There comes that girl again ♪ 1252 00:51:43,559 --> 00:51:46,395 {\an8}♪ Wanted to date her since I don't know when ♪ 1253 00:51:46,395 --> 00:51:49,482 {\an8}♪ But she don't notice me when I pass ♪ 1254 00:51:49,482 --> 00:51:52,485 {\an8}♪ She goes with all the guys from outa my class ♪ 1255 00:51:52,485 --> 00:51:55,905 {\an8}♪ But that can't stop me from a-thinkin' to myself ♪ 1256 00:51:55,905 --> 00:51:59,075 {\an8}♪ She's sure fine-lookin', man, she's something else ♪ 1257 00:52:04,080 --> 00:52:07,708 {\an8}♪ Hey, look a-there, across the street ♪ 1258 00:52:07,708 --> 00:52:11,087 {\an8}♪ There's a car made just for me ♪ 1259 00:52:11,087 --> 00:52:14,090 {\an8}♪ To own that car would be a luxury ♪ 1260 00:52:14,090 --> 00:52:17,093 {\an8}♪ But right now I can't afford the gas ♪ 1261 00:52:17,093 --> 00:52:20,304 {\an8}♪ A brand-new convertible is out of my class ♪ 1262 00:52:20,304 --> 00:52:23,516 {\an8}♪ But that can't stop me from a-thinkin' to myself ♪ 1263 00:52:23,516 --> 00:52:26,936 {\an8}♪ That car's fine-lookin', man, it's something else ♪ 1264 00:52:31,941 --> 00:52:35,778 {\an8}♪ Hey, look a-here, just wait and see ♪ 1265 00:52:35,778 --> 00:52:38,781 {\an8}♪ Worked hard and saved my dough ♪ 1266 00:52:38,781 --> 00:52:41,784 {\an8}♪ I'll buy that car that I been wanting so ♪ 1267 00:52:41,784 --> 00:52:44,871 {\an8}♪ Get me that girl, and we'll go ridin' around ♪ 1268 00:52:44,871 --> 00:52:47,874 {\an8}♪ We'll look real sharp with the flight top down ♪ 1269 00:52:47,874 --> 00:52:51,460 {\an8}♪ I keep right on a-dreamin' and a-thinkin' to myself ♪ 1270 00:52:51,460 --> 00:52:54,463 {\an8}♪ When it all comes true, man, wow, that's something else ♪ 1271 00:52:59,385 --> 00:53:03,180 {\an8}♪ Look a-there, what's all this? ♪ 1272 00:53:03,180 --> 00:53:06,601 {\an8}♪ Never thought I'd do this before ♪ 1273 00:53:06,601 --> 00:53:09,478 {\an8}♪ But here I am a-knockin' on her door ♪ 1274 00:53:09,478 --> 00:53:12,315 {\an8}♪ My car's out front, and it's all mine ♪ 1275 00:53:12,315 --> 00:53:15,568 {\an8}Just a '41 Ford, not a '59 ♪ 1276 00:53:15,568 --> 00:53:18,738 {\an8}♪ I got that girl, an' I'm a-thinkin' to myself ♪ 1277 00:53:18,738 --> 00:53:22,325 {\an8}♪ She's sure fine-lookin', man, wow, she's something else ♪ 91264

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.