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1
00:00:28,279 --> 00:00:30,197
Revenge.
2
00:00:32,742 --> 00:00:35,035
Revenge.
3
00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:37,163
I want it.
4
00:00:37,163 --> 00:00:39,165
Oh, do I want it.
5
00:00:39,165 --> 00:00:40,583
I need it.
6
00:00:40,583 --> 00:00:42,126
I crave it.
7
00:00:42,126 --> 00:00:46,005
I am completely consumed
by the need for it.
8
00:00:46,005 --> 00:00:47,882
Revenge.
9
00:00:49,925 --> 00:00:51,761
You know how there are times
in your life
10
00:00:51,761 --> 00:00:53,763
when things seem
to be going great?
11
00:00:53,763 --> 00:00:55,347
And then suddenly,
out of nowhere,
12
00:00:55,347 --> 00:00:57,725
you round the corner, and bam,
someone steps in
13
00:00:57,725 --> 00:00:59,727
and fucks it the fuck up?
14
00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:01,353
And you never saw it coming
15
00:01:01,353 --> 00:01:03,397
because you were too busy
being happy.
16
00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:07,234
And I know, that's life.
17
00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:09,028
Shit happens.
18
00:01:09,028 --> 00:01:12,615
You should be a bigger man
and just let it go.
19
00:01:14,366 --> 00:01:16,494
Well, I'm a woman, so fuck that.
20
00:01:18,454 --> 00:01:21,499
I want my fucking pound
of flesh.
21
00:01:21,499 --> 00:01:24,210
I want my revenge.
22
00:01:24,210 --> 00:01:26,545
And I'm talking real revenge,
not the "Hey, I got you
23
00:01:26,545 --> 00:01:28,422
a lifetime subscription
to The Watchtower"
24
00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:30,966
kind of revenge,
but Shakespearean,
25
00:01:30,966 --> 00:01:33,302
blood-soaked, painful,
26
00:01:33,302 --> 00:01:36,847
soul-crushing revenge.
27
00:01:36,847 --> 00:01:38,891
I will dig out
my high school clarinet
28
00:01:38,891 --> 00:01:42,394
and play klezmer music
next door to you 24 hours a day.
29
00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:45,439
I will sneak into your basement,
and I will fry fish.
30
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:49,068
I will befriend
your only daughter,
31
00:01:49,068 --> 00:01:51,070
and I will introduce her
to a poet,
32
00:01:51,070 --> 00:01:54,490
and I will sit at their wedding
and I will laugh.
33
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,661
I'm talking Medea-level revenge.
34
00:01:58,661 --> 00:02:02,206
I'm filled with so much fury,
and why?
35
00:02:03,582 --> 00:02:05,292
Oh, you already know why.
36
00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:06,836
Well, that's no fun.
37
00:02:06,836 --> 00:02:08,087
Fine.
38
00:02:08,087 --> 00:02:10,130
Yes. That was me.
39
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:14,093
Standing there on a tarmac,
not Penn Station, by the way,
40
00:02:14,093 --> 00:02:16,053
and not "clutching" my suitcase.
41
00:02:16,053 --> 00:02:17,847
"Suitcase," singular.
42
00:02:17,847 --> 00:02:19,682
Please. I haven't traveled
with one suitcase
43
00:02:19,682 --> 00:02:21,267
since my first day
of kindergarten.
44
00:02:22,977 --> 00:02:26,355
I stood there, and I watched
that plane fly away,
45
00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:28,607
and I realized that once again
46
00:02:28,607 --> 00:02:32,903
a man has stepped in
and fucked up my life.
47
00:02:32,903 --> 00:02:34,655
And just like the first time,
48
00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:37,575
I was dressed magnificently
while he did it.
49
00:02:37,575 --> 00:02:40,536
Fucking revenge!
50
00:02:52,715 --> 00:02:54,550
Where we going?
51
00:02:54,550 --> 00:02:56,051
Back to the city.
52
00:02:56,051 --> 00:02:57,803
Something she forgot to pack?
53
00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:59,471
Just drive.
54
00:03:13,569 --> 00:03:15,195
What's happening here?
55
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:17,239
Nothing. I just...
56
00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:29,960
Seriously, what's funny?
57
00:03:38,761 --> 00:03:40,554
What are you doing?
58
00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:41,931
That was a hat.
59
00:03:41,931 --> 00:03:43,432
It still had
the price tag on it.
60
00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:45,893
Miriam, do we need a pill?
61
00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:47,978
- Hey.
- I don't want it.
62
00:03:47,978 --> 00:03:50,898
Well, it completes the outfit.
Will you stop?
63
00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:53,067
I don't want anything
about this night
64
00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:55,194
or associated with this night
in this cab with us.
65
00:03:55,194 --> 00:03:56,445
Am I next?
66
00:03:56,445 --> 00:03:58,030
Stop!
67
00:03:58,030 --> 00:03:59,657
- Stop the cab!
- What?
68
00:04:04,161 --> 00:04:06,538
You fucker!
69
00:04:11,085 --> 00:04:12,711
I won.
70
00:04:12,711 --> 00:04:15,214
You thought you could beat me,
but you couldn't.
71
00:04:15,214 --> 00:04:17,049
Yeah, you showed him.
72
00:04:17,049 --> 00:04:18,717
Now that the skirt
has learned its lesson,
73
00:04:18,717 --> 00:04:21,387
why don't you get back
in the ca... Miriam?
74
00:04:21,387 --> 00:04:24,056
Okay, well, that's really
the city's job, but...
75
00:04:24,056 --> 00:04:26,475
I hate this night
and this outfit
76
00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:28,644
and this whole goddamn world!
77
00:04:28,644 --> 00:04:30,229
- Hey!
- I hate this cab.
78
00:04:30,229 --> 00:04:32,064
- Stop that!
- This cab took me
79
00:04:32,064 --> 00:04:33,983
- to the airport that I hate!
- Hey.
80
00:04:33,983 --> 00:04:36,443
Where the plane was that I hate,
on the tarmac...
81
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:38,070
Hey, what the hell is she doing?
82
00:04:38,070 --> 00:04:41,448
I hate music.
I hate music stands.
83
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:43,784
I hate mic cords.
84
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,619
I hate light cues.
85
00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:47,454
Miriam, enough.
86
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:49,415
- Ow!
- She's crazy.
87
00:04:49,415 --> 00:04:54,461
Ow! Ow!
88
00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:56,088
Ow! Stop!
89
00:04:56,088 --> 00:04:57,798
Ow! You stop!
90
00:04:57,798 --> 00:05:00,342
Have you lost your mind?
91
00:05:00,342 --> 00:05:02,594
Yes!
92
00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:06,807
My mind, my job, my career.
93
00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,559
You haven't lost your career.
94
00:05:08,559 --> 00:05:11,145
I was on tour with
the biggest star in the world,
95
00:05:11,145 --> 00:05:13,522
and then suddenly...
96
00:05:13,522 --> 00:05:16,150
he wouldn't even talk to me.
97
00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:18,277
I thought we were friends.
98
00:05:18,277 --> 00:05:19,987
In show business?
99
00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:21,989
I fucked up.
100
00:05:22,948 --> 00:05:24,283
It's not your fault.
101
00:05:24,283 --> 00:05:26,160
I should've been there.
If I'd have been there,
102
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:28,287
- you wouldn't have talked to Reggie.
- I would've talked to you.
103
00:05:28,287 --> 00:05:30,330
And I would've told you
to just calm the fuck down.
104
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,207
And I would've calmed
the fuck down.
105
00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:34,543
And you wouldn't have done
that set and ended your career.
106
00:05:34,543 --> 00:05:35,836
My career's ended?
107
00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:37,212
I'm repeating what you said.
108
00:05:37,212 --> 00:05:39,256
But I said it
so you'd say it wasn't true.
109
00:05:39,256 --> 00:05:41,050
Here, you want
to hit the car again?
110
00:05:41,050 --> 00:05:42,676
You don't think
I can come back from this?
111
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:43,927
I just meant,
if I'd have been there,
112
00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:45,262
you wouldn't have done
that awful set.
113
00:05:45,262 --> 00:05:46,889
The set was great.
The audience laughed
114
00:05:46,889 --> 00:05:48,432
- at every joke.
- I just meant,
115
00:05:48,432 --> 00:05:50,100
if I'd have been there, you
would've done something else.
116
00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:51,727
- I would've bombed.
- Yeah, you would've bombed,
117
00:05:51,727 --> 00:05:53,854
and we would be on a plane
to Prague right now.
118
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:57,024
If I had bombed, they still
could've kicked me off the tour.
119
00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:58,317
No, you would've been humiliated,
120
00:05:58,317 --> 00:05:59,818
but then you would've gotten
on that plane,
121
00:05:59,818 --> 00:06:01,236
and then you would've
bombed in Prague.
122
00:06:01,236 --> 00:06:02,988
What? Why?
123
00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:04,156
Those people don't laugh.
124
00:06:04,156 --> 00:06:05,783
I could've made
Prague people laugh.
125
00:06:05,783 --> 00:06:07,034
You've never been to Prague.
126
00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:08,452
What the fuck
would you talk about?
127
00:06:08,452 --> 00:06:10,079
I'd find something.
128
00:06:10,079 --> 00:06:11,747
"Hello, Prague. Remember Jews?"
129
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:16,043
Look at that,
the public still loves you.
130
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:24,635
I don't want
to go back to Queens.
131
00:06:24,635 --> 00:06:27,596
I'm not ready
to be a failure yet.
132
00:06:27,596 --> 00:06:30,015
I don't want to go back
to my place, either.
133
00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:31,809
Jackie will be installing
crown molding.
134
00:06:31,809 --> 00:06:33,268
Chester will be farting a lot.
135
00:06:33,268 --> 00:06:35,354
Ladies, at this rate,
I'm gonna be able
136
00:06:35,354 --> 00:06:37,106
to retire off this fare.
137
00:06:37,106 --> 00:06:39,441
Just head to the Village.
138
00:06:39,441 --> 00:06:43,403
You... want to take your branch?
139
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,072
No.
140
00:06:48,867 --> 00:06:50,994
You had that the whole time?
141
00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:53,539
I didn't want you drunk
and acting all crazy.
142
00:06:53,539 --> 00:06:55,415
Give me that.
143
00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:05,592
Damn it, I just got this outfit.
144
00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:07,553
Boy, this floor is
really sticky.
145
00:07:07,553 --> 00:07:09,012
Are they mopping it?
146
00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:10,722
Oh, yeah. Twice a day.
147
00:07:10,722 --> 00:07:12,141
They call and give me updates.
148
00:07:12,141 --> 00:07:13,934
We talk soap-to-water ratios.
149
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:15,144
All right.
150
00:07:15,144 --> 00:07:16,812
Oh, it's really fucking sticky.
151
00:07:16,812 --> 00:07:18,689
You sure it's okay
that we're here?
152
00:07:18,689 --> 00:07:20,440
Oh, yeah.
I called the owner,
153
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,109
and he cleared it
with the management,
154
00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:24,111
and they ran it up
the flagpole to the board.
155
00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:25,654
All right.
156
00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:27,447
I love that suddenly
you're all concerned
157
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:30,159
about not pissing anybody off.
158
00:07:30,159 --> 00:07:33,245
I stashed this stuff here
last time I was hiding out.
159
00:07:33,245 --> 00:07:35,414
- Hey, do you have any seltzer?
- Why?
160
00:07:35,414 --> 00:07:37,499
Thought I'd try to get
the stain out with seltzer.
161
00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:39,543
- Oh. Try gasoline.
- Really?
162
00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:42,004
Yeah. That and a match
will take that stain right out.
163
00:07:42,004 --> 00:07:45,007
Hilarious.
You should open for Shy Baldwin.
164
00:07:45,007 --> 00:07:47,009
So, pick a spot?
165
00:07:47,009 --> 00:07:48,927
Yep. Anywhere you want.
166
00:07:48,927 --> 00:07:51,388
- Actually, I need to sleep over there.
- Okay.
167
00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:53,724
It's just, I had a nightmare
when I slept over there.
168
00:07:53,724 --> 00:07:55,767
And over there, different
nightmare but just as bad.
169
00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:57,102
Over there, too.
170
00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:58,937
So I'd like to sleep there,
in the middle,
171
00:07:58,937 --> 00:08:00,439
- if that's okay.
- Uh...
172
00:08:00,439 --> 00:08:02,774
Eh, even if it's not okay,
I got to sleep in the middle.
173
00:08:02,774 --> 00:08:04,943
But anywhere else, your choice.
174
00:08:04,943 --> 00:08:07,154
So I have my choice
of all the nightmare spots.
175
00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:09,281
Thanks.
176
00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:11,325
Gonna be here
all night.
177
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:16,997
Well, here we are.
178
00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:19,416
Back where it all started.
179
00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:22,628
First time I saw you, you were
over there behind the bar.
180
00:08:22,628 --> 00:08:24,755
I was married to Joel.
181
00:08:24,755 --> 00:08:27,090
He was gonna do stand-up.
182
00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:29,468
I brought a brisket.
183
00:08:29,468 --> 00:08:31,011
You remember
what you said to me?
184
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:33,055
No, but I'm sure
"fuck you" figured
185
00:08:33,055 --> 00:08:35,140
- somewhere in the sentence.
- Yeah.
186
00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:38,268
Who would've thought
that less than two years later
187
00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:41,480
I'd end up back here
drunk and in my underwear again?
188
00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:43,190
Different underwear.
189
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:45,984
Did you just find that
on the ground?
190
00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:47,694
Yes.
191
00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:55,869
Guess I overpacked.
192
00:09:09,508 --> 00:09:11,134
Susie.
193
00:09:15,806 --> 00:09:18,058
Darn that dream ♪
194
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:20,519
I dream each night ♪
195
00:09:20,519 --> 00:09:25,774
♪ You say you love me
and you hold me tight ♪
196
00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:29,653
♪ But when I awake,
you're out of sight ♪
197
00:09:29,653 --> 00:09:35,409
Oh, darn that dream ♪
198
00:09:35,409 --> 00:09:39,621
♪ Darn your lips
and darn your eyes ♪
199
00:09:39,621 --> 00:09:45,002
♪ They lift me high above
the moonlit skies ♪
200
00:09:45,002 --> 00:09:48,588
♪ Then I tumble out
of paradise ♪
201
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,590
♪ Oh, darn that...
202
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:53,010
You cheat me out of ten papers today?
203
00:09:53,010 --> 00:09:55,178
Every day,
ten to 15 papers short.
204
00:09:55,178 --> 00:09:57,597
Give me a break.
205
00:09:59,891 --> 00:10:01,810
Are you kidding me?
206
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,605
If you're gonna read it,
you have to buy it.
207
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:07,316
I'm already
15 to 20 papers short.
208
00:10:07,316 --> 00:10:09,609
Sorry. I think I have
some money in here.
209
00:10:10,652 --> 00:10:12,154
Uh, no.
210
00:10:14,156 --> 00:10:15,490
Not that.
211
00:10:17,409 --> 00:10:19,119
It's not my coat.
212
00:10:21,204 --> 00:10:23,206
Ew. Ew.
213
00:10:24,583 --> 00:10:26,126
Wow.
214
00:10:28,295 --> 00:10:29,880
Susie.
215
00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:31,381
What the fuck are you doing?
216
00:10:31,381 --> 00:10:33,759
You don't wake a person up
in the middle of a nightmare.
217
00:10:33,759 --> 00:10:35,302
I was in line
at the post office.
218
00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:36,970
Just one guy working,
and he got a call.
219
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:38,972
- I need my money.
- Why are you wearing my jacket?
220
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:40,640
- D-8.
- I don't...
221
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,351
D-8, D-8, D-8.
222
00:10:42,351 --> 00:10:44,144
They replaced me
with Jack Ballard.
223
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:46,146
He's doing the rest of the tour
and the Christmas special.
224
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,689
So I don't got
to read this now, right?
225
00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:49,775
They planned this. They gave
this to the papers yesterday,
226
00:10:49,775 --> 00:10:51,985
and they still made us come
all the way down to the tarmac
227
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:54,446
just to see us stand there
like a couple of assholes.
228
00:10:54,446 --> 00:10:56,531
Jack Ballard.
I thought Jack Ballard was dead.
229
00:10:56,531 --> 00:10:58,450
They wanted to humiliate us.
230
00:10:58,450 --> 00:10:59,910
I think I went to his funeral.
231
00:10:59,910 --> 00:11:01,495
One day,
and it's already in the paper.
232
00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:03,080
Moishe's gonna explode.
233
00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:04,873
- Who the fuck is Moishe?
- My father-in-law.
234
00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:06,375
He's gonna see that,
and he's gonna know
235
00:11:06,375 --> 00:11:07,793
- that I was fired.
- So what?
236
00:11:07,793 --> 00:11:10,003
He loaned me the money
to buy back my old apartment,
237
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,797
my collateral being my contract
238
00:11:11,797 --> 00:11:13,507
for the tour
and the Christmas special.
239
00:11:13,507 --> 00:11:16,009
He was so excited
about the Christmas special.
240
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:19,179
You bought back
your old apartment?
241
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:21,056
- Yes.
- When?
242
00:11:21,056 --> 00:11:23,558
- Yesterday.
- I was with you yesterday.
243
00:11:23,558 --> 00:11:25,394
- Not all day.
- I can't believe this.
244
00:11:25,394 --> 00:11:26,853
I leave you alone
for four hours,
245
00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:28,688
and you blow your career
and buy an apartment.
246
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,315
You said I didn't blow
my career.
247
00:11:30,315 --> 00:11:32,859
Why would you buy an apartment?
You don't have any money!
248
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:35,278
What do you mean,
I don't have any money?
249
00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:37,322
You have some money, clearly.
250
00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:40,075
- I saved every cent from the first part of the tour.
- I know.
251
00:11:40,075 --> 00:11:42,536
And I am holding it for you.
I just...
252
00:11:43,829 --> 00:11:45,497
Why would you buy back
your apartment?
253
00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:47,082
Because I don't want to live
254
00:11:47,082 --> 00:11:50,168
with my ex-in-laws
in Queens anymore.
255
00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:51,837
Look, I know it was
an emotional purchase,
256
00:11:51,837 --> 00:11:53,296
but I did it, it's done.
257
00:11:53,296 --> 00:11:54,965
And now I need to get something
258
00:11:54,965 --> 00:11:57,801
into his hands immediately,
buy me some time.
259
00:12:00,095 --> 00:12:01,680
So I need my money.
260
00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:03,890
When?
261
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:06,101
Today.
262
00:12:06,101 --> 00:12:07,936
Okay. Sure.
263
00:12:08,979 --> 00:12:11,565
I'll get you your money today.
264
00:12:11,565 --> 00:12:14,359
I don't have
my ledger book on me.
265
00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:16,570
I just got to look
at the ledger at least,
266
00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:18,196
make sure things are ledgered.
267
00:12:18,196 --> 00:12:19,698
Fine.
268
00:12:19,698 --> 00:12:23,493
And there were some expenses
I had to deduct from your money.
269
00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:26,204
- Business expenses, all legit.
- Okay.
270
00:12:26,204 --> 00:12:27,873
And I bought some hairspray.
Remember the hairspray?
271
00:12:27,873 --> 00:12:29,291
You asked me to buy
some hairspray.
272
00:12:29,291 --> 00:12:30,959
- Absolutely.
- Okay.
273
00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:33,003
I'll look at the ledger,
get to the bank.
274
00:12:33,003 --> 00:12:34,379
You'll get your money,
275
00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:36,173
sans the really expensive hairspray.
276
00:12:36,173 --> 00:12:38,175
Great. Thank you.
277
00:12:38,175 --> 00:12:40,260
I don't know what you need
all that hairspray for,
278
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:42,512
but that's your business, so...
279
00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:46,349
- Were you gonna make a call?
- What?
280
00:12:46,349 --> 00:12:48,226
I can go in the back
if you need some privacy.
281
00:12:48,226 --> 00:12:49,769
No, I was not gonna make a call.
282
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,396
Just 'cause you stand
next to a phone,
283
00:12:51,396 --> 00:12:53,482
people think
you're gonna make a call.
284
00:12:53,482 --> 00:12:54,941
You know what?
285
00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:56,943
I'm gonna get some fresh air.
286
00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:59,154
Stretch the legs.
287
00:12:59,154 --> 00:13:01,490
- You want anything?
- Just my money.
288
00:13:01,490 --> 00:13:02,824
Yep.
289
00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:04,618
I'll be right back.
290
00:13:26,056 --> 00:13:27,891
Hey. I got to use the phone.
291
00:13:27,891 --> 00:13:29,935
I'm currently wooing a lady.
292
00:13:29,935 --> 00:13:31,394
- Okay.
- I...
293
00:13:31,394 --> 00:13:32,646
You hung up.
294
00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:34,231
If you tied the ropes
tight enough,
295
00:13:34,231 --> 00:13:36,107
she'll still be there
when you get back.
296
00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:44,241
Huh? - Tess, it's me.
297
00:13:44,241 --> 00:13:45,867
Susie? It's so early.
298
00:13:45,867 --> 00:13:47,661
Have we heard from that guy
from the insurance company?
299
00:13:47,661 --> 00:13:49,204
- I really got to get...
- Wait.
300
00:13:49,204 --> 00:13:50,830
What?
301
00:13:52,457 --> 00:13:54,834
Shit. - What?
302
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:57,337
Ah, for a moment,
I thought Skint was dead.
303
00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:58,755
Well, that's my life
in a nutshell.
304
00:13:58,755 --> 00:13:59,965
Fucking focus here.
305
00:13:59,965 --> 00:14:01,591
Check. I need the check. - Yes.
306
00:14:01,591 --> 00:14:03,260
He called yesterday,
said we could come by
307
00:14:03,260 --> 00:14:04,719
and pick it up at the office.
308
00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:06,805
Great. Good.
We are going this morning.
309
00:14:06,805 --> 00:14:08,265
I will be by in an hour.
310
00:14:08,265 --> 00:14:10,183
All right. Geez.
311
00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:16,314
Hi. Uh...
312
00:14:16,314 --> 00:14:17,941
Can I help you?
313
00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:21,111
Why? Are you with the...
314
00:14:21,111 --> 00:14:23,113
Wait. Hold on.
315
00:14:24,573 --> 00:14:26,116
Ha.
316
00:14:26,116 --> 00:14:28,034
I'm actually getting
pretty fluent here.
317
00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:30,704
I ordered tea, and I told
the plumber to fix the toilet.
318
00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:32,414
I got tea,
and he fixed the sink,
319
00:14:32,414 --> 00:14:34,708
so we're getting close.
320
00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:36,251
Here we go.
321
00:14:36,251 --> 00:14:37,836
Ni hao.
322
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:41,298
There's more. Just, um...
323
00:14:42,841 --> 00:14:44,676
You méiyou...
324
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:48,847
Something, something.
Where the hell is "something"?
325
00:14:48,847 --> 00:14:50,890
Wait. I'll find it.
326
00:14:51,933 --> 00:14:53,351
Uh...
327
00:14:53,351 --> 00:14:57,230
You méiyou nali women keyi...
328
00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:59,232
Uh, hold on.
329
00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:01,026
Five minutes.
330
00:15:01,026 --> 00:15:03,486
You bing gang gen...
331
00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:05,697
Yep. Right behind you.
332
00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:24,424
How do you know
what I want you to do?
333
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,885
You don't listen.
You just care about you.
334
00:15:26,885 --> 00:15:28,637
What you want.
335
00:15:28,637 --> 00:15:30,055
That is not true.
336
00:15:30,055 --> 00:15:31,389
I work very hard
for this family!
337
00:15:31,389 --> 00:15:33,808
I am always the one
you send in to...
338
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:35,435
You rang?
339
00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:38,855
Really?
You sent Li Wei after him?
340
00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:41,232
- You want to tell me what's going on?
- I didn't know they were gonna
341
00:15:41,232 --> 00:15:43,068
send him up there... or that
he could fit through the door.
342
00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:50,533
He says he hears
your club is doing well.
343
00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:52,952
- Hold on.
- You're kidding, right?
344
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,287
This is my neighborhood now.
345
00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:56,081
I'm gonna learn
to speak the language.
346
00:15:56,081 --> 00:15:57,582
Uh, okay.
347
00:15:57,582 --> 00:16:00,293
Uh, my... place... of...
348
00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:02,295
Joel, people have
a life expectancy.
349
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:05,382
Yep. Tell them the club
is doing sensational.
350
00:16:05,382 --> 00:16:08,176
Great buzz. First few nights
completely sold out.
351
00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:13,473
And I have big plans
for the place.
352
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,266
Uh, private events,
specialty nights.
353
00:16:15,266 --> 00:16:16,768
I'm thinking
of putting in a kitchen
354
00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:18,228
and starting food service.
355
00:16:21,106 --> 00:16:22,524
Hey, can you amp up
356
00:16:22,524 --> 00:16:24,693
the excitement a little?
I'm selling here.
357
00:16:24,693 --> 00:16:29,989
No! No food.
No private events. No kitchen.
358
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,533
Food will make the money smell.
359
00:16:31,533 --> 00:16:35,412
He either stops doing well
or he just stops.
360
00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:36,996
- What did he say?
- I can't tell him that.
361
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:37,997
What did you say?
362
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,541
You tell him now.
363
00:16:39,541 --> 00:16:40,875
Mei, please. What are
your parents upset about?
364
00:16:40,875 --> 00:16:42,419
I never said
they were my parents.
365
00:16:42,419 --> 00:16:44,087
She used to listen to you.
366
00:16:44,087 --> 00:16:45,797
You let her go to school.
367
00:16:45,797 --> 00:16:46,965
It's a law!
368
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:49,676
I've got parents.
That sounds like parents to me.
369
00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:51,386
You've grown too close
to this man.
370
00:16:51,386 --> 00:16:52,887
This is not why we
brought you into this.
371
00:16:52,887 --> 00:16:54,264
I did everything I could!
372
00:16:54,264 --> 00:16:55,849
I gave him a jukebox with
nothing but Chinese records
373
00:16:55,849 --> 00:16:57,475
in it, for Christ's sake!
374
00:16:57,475 --> 00:17:01,938
That was months ago. Now I hear
you bring him toilet paper.
375
00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:03,523
No more!
376
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:06,401
You will have no more contact
with that man.
377
00:17:06,401 --> 00:17:08,027
You tell him to leave.
378
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,612
Now!
379
00:17:12,907 --> 00:17:14,492
So...
380
00:17:14,492 --> 00:17:16,453
The club is doing too well.
381
00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:18,455
Most landlords
want their tenants to do well.
382
00:17:18,455 --> 00:17:19,956
I never said
they were the landlords.
383
00:17:19,956 --> 00:17:22,417
- Mei...
- They wanted a business that looked legit
384
00:17:22,417 --> 00:17:24,169
but didn't cause
too much of a splash.
385
00:17:24,169 --> 00:17:26,796
A dud club means
less eyes on the parlor.
386
00:17:26,796 --> 00:17:29,257
A successful club means eyes.
387
00:17:29,257 --> 00:17:31,968
They just assumed
your club would fail.
388
00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:33,303
Why?
389
00:17:33,303 --> 00:17:35,180
'Cause you're
a Jewish ex-plastics salesman
390
00:17:35,180 --> 00:17:36,681
who suddenly opened a club
in Chinatown
391
00:17:36,681 --> 00:17:39,142
with an English to Chinese
dictionary from the 1800s.
392
00:17:39,142 --> 00:17:40,977
I...
393
00:17:40,977 --> 00:17:43,188
- Shit.
- My expectations were low.
394
00:17:43,188 --> 00:17:44,939
Well, why are they mad at you?
395
00:17:44,939 --> 00:17:47,901
Because I was supposed
to make sure you failed.
396
00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:49,694
Is that why
you gave me a jukebox
397
00:17:49,694 --> 00:17:51,112
with nothing
but Chinese records in it?
398
00:17:51,112 --> 00:17:53,031
No. That was a gift. Please.
399
00:17:53,031 --> 00:17:55,617
So, if I'm
reading the room right,
400
00:17:55,617 --> 00:17:57,660
the people who may or may not
be your parents
401
00:17:57,660 --> 00:17:59,746
and may or may not
be my landlords,
402
00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:02,040
- they either want me to fail or...
- Leave.
403
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:05,460
I thought "or die,"
so "leave" is better.
404
00:18:07,045 --> 00:18:10,882
Hey, Mata Hari,
what side are you on now?
405
00:18:10,882 --> 00:18:13,551
Your side. I swear.
406
00:18:13,551 --> 00:18:15,970
I'm not sure
if that helps me or not.
407
00:18:19,516 --> 00:18:20,850
Thank you.
408
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,519
You're welcome, man.
409
00:18:32,654 --> 00:18:34,197
Faster! Faster! Faster!
410
00:18:34,197 --> 00:18:37,617
- Look, look!
- Oh, Ethan, that's wonderful.
411
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:40,662
You know, when I was a boy,
I had a sock.
412
00:18:40,662 --> 00:18:42,163
That was my toy.
413
00:18:42,163 --> 00:18:44,999
Stuck my hand in it and said,
"Where did my fingers go?"
414
00:18:44,999 --> 00:18:47,418
That was the game. The end.
415
00:18:47,418 --> 00:18:49,420
And nobody cares.
416
00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:50,839
Well said, Moishe.
417
00:18:50,839 --> 00:18:53,758
I have knishes
hot out of the oven.
418
00:18:53,758 --> 00:18:56,302
- What are you reading?
- A book.
419
00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:59,180
- Is it Peter Rabbit?
- It is not Peter Rabbit.
420
00:18:59,180 --> 00:19:01,266
I read Peter Rabbit.
421
00:19:01,266 --> 00:19:02,892
Next up, Proust.
422
00:19:02,892 --> 00:19:05,144
Why do you have fur on your lip?
423
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:07,355
That's called a mustache.
424
00:19:07,355 --> 00:19:09,899
It looks
like a crawly caterpillar.
425
00:19:09,899 --> 00:19:11,776
It does not.
426
00:19:11,776 --> 00:19:13,611
- It does.
- I think it moved.
427
00:19:13,611 --> 00:19:15,238
That's because I'm talking.
428
00:19:15,238 --> 00:19:16,906
Stop that.
429
00:19:16,906 --> 00:19:18,825
- I'll get it.
- No, I'll get it.
430
00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:21,286
- I'm already up.
- But I'm getting it! Rose.
431
00:19:21,286 --> 00:19:23,454
- Abe, my goodness.
- Well, they're being mean.
432
00:19:23,454 --> 00:19:26,332
None of the grown-ups
are doing anything to stop it.
433
00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:28,626
- Shit.
- Hello? Maisel residence.
434
00:19:28,626 --> 00:19:30,086
Shirley? It's Miriam.
435
00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:33,172
Miriam, hello. It's Miriam.
436
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,008
Where are you calling from?
Prague?
437
00:19:35,008 --> 00:19:37,802
- Yes. I'm in Prague.
- Well, take a lot of pictures,
438
00:19:37,802 --> 00:19:39,470
and tell them
you love Jesus Christ.
439
00:19:39,470 --> 00:19:41,764
It sounds pretty lively
over there. What's going on?
440
00:19:41,764 --> 00:19:43,892
- It's Ethan's birthday.
- No, it's not.
441
00:19:43,892 --> 00:19:45,727
Yes, it is. I made three cakes.
442
00:19:45,727 --> 00:19:47,395
Shirley,
it's not Ethan's birthday.
443
00:19:47,395 --> 00:19:50,064
Whatever you say.
I have to check the cutlets.
444
00:19:50,064 --> 00:19:52,066
Speak to your father.
445
00:19:54,235 --> 00:19:56,112
Hello, Miriam?
Are you in Prague?
446
00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:58,698
Make sure you work Jesus Christ
into every conversation.
447
00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:01,242
I will. Hey, why did Shirley say
Ethan's having a birthday party?
448
00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:03,202
His birthday's in November. - Not anymore.
449
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,871
What-what do you mean,
"not anymore"?
450
00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:07,206
Eh, November was bad for us.
I have deadlines.
451
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:09,375
Moishe has
his spring fabrics arriving.
452
00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:11,961
Shirley's cousin Yetta
is coming for a visit.
453
00:20:11,961 --> 00:20:13,504
I don't know
what your mother's doing,
454
00:20:13,504 --> 00:20:16,299
- but it was bad for her, too.
- I have work, Abe.
455
00:20:16,299 --> 00:20:18,760
Your mother claims she has work,
456
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:20,261
so it just didn't work
for any of us.
457
00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:23,389
Are you seriously telling me you
rescheduled Ethan's birthday?
458
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:24,557
He's five.
459
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:26,100
What does he know? - Papa!
460
00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:28,895
What? The boy has three cakes,
461
00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:30,521
and we're taking him
to Coney Island
462
00:20:30,521 --> 00:20:32,774
- to ride the Wonder Wheel.
- I can't believe this.
463
00:20:32,774 --> 00:20:35,276
How does this affect you?
You weren't going to be here
464
00:20:35,276 --> 00:20:37,111
- for it anyhow.
- What's the matter?
465
00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:39,155
Miriam's upset
we changed Ethan's birthday.
466
00:20:39,155 --> 00:20:40,573
- Why?
- No idea.
467
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:43,409
Papa, you don't just change
a little boy's birthday.
468
00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:44,911
We changed
your brother's birthday twice.
469
00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:46,579
He never found out. - You...
470
00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:48,414
Who are you people?
471
00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:51,125
This borders on inhuman
and unfeeling
472
00:20:51,125 --> 00:20:53,211
and... Wait,
did you change my birthday?
473
00:20:53,211 --> 00:20:55,129
No. Listen, Miriam,
474
00:20:55,129 --> 00:20:57,507
we have to wrap things up here
and get to Coney Island.
475
00:20:57,507 --> 00:20:59,801
Ethan!
Wish your son a happy birthday.
476
00:20:59,801 --> 00:21:01,886
It's not his... - Ethan!
477
00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:05,515
Hi, Mommy. I got
478
00:21:05,515 --> 00:21:06,849
a fire truck, cowboy guns
479
00:21:06,849 --> 00:21:08,393
- and a baseball.
- Ethan.
480
00:21:08,393 --> 00:21:09,978
We're gonna ride
the Wonder Wheel.
481
00:21:09,978 --> 00:21:11,312
Honey, all of that is exciting,
482
00:21:11,312 --> 00:21:13,815
but today
is just not your actual...
483
00:21:13,815 --> 00:21:15,400
Happy birthday, baby.
484
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:17,276
I want cake.
485
00:21:22,907 --> 00:21:26,202
♪ The best things in life
are free ♪
486
00:21:26,202 --> 00:21:29,122
♪ But you can give them
to the birds and bees ♪
487
00:21:29,122 --> 00:21:30,957
- I need money ♪
- ♪ That's...
488
00:21:30,957 --> 00:21:33,459
Hi. Uh, we are here
for the Myerson check.
489
00:21:33,459 --> 00:21:35,336
I'm Susie Myerson.
This is my sister, Tess.
490
00:21:35,336 --> 00:21:36,462
And how are you this morning?
491
00:21:36,462 --> 00:21:37,714
Fine. We just need our check.
492
00:21:37,714 --> 00:21:39,007
Well, let me
have a look-see here.
493
00:21:39,007 --> 00:21:40,591
Ah, you're Mr. Frick's clients.
494
00:21:40,591 --> 00:21:41,884
Yes, we are.
Does he have the check?
495
00:21:41,884 --> 00:21:43,386
Why don't you have a
seat, and I'll buzz him for you.
496
00:21:43,386 --> 00:21:44,637
- Tell him to bring the check.
- Will do.
497
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:47,724
You have to relax.
498
00:21:47,724 --> 00:21:49,767
- I'll relax when I get that check.
- Well, well,
499
00:21:49,767 --> 00:21:51,853
the Myerson girls.
How nice to see you.
500
00:21:51,853 --> 00:21:54,355
- Well, technically, I'm a Dooley.
- Nobody cares.
501
00:21:54,355 --> 00:21:56,524
Uh, hello, Mr. Frick.
We are here for the check.
502
00:21:56,524 --> 00:21:58,568
You mean you're not here
to see me? I'm hurt.
503
00:21:58,568 --> 00:22:00,903
I'm kidding.
Would you two like some coffee?
504
00:22:00,903 --> 00:22:02,697
- No, we're fine.
- Do you have any hot chocolate?
505
00:22:02,697 --> 00:22:05,074
You want a balloon, too?
We'll just take the check.
506
00:22:05,074 --> 00:22:06,325
Sure, sure. But Mr. B said
507
00:22:06,325 --> 00:22:07,994
not to let you leave
without saying hello.
508
00:22:07,994 --> 00:22:09,704
- Who?
- Great guy. Come on.
509
00:22:14,751 --> 00:22:16,335
Mm.
510
00:22:50,161 --> 00:22:53,331
Make yourselves comfortable.
He'll be right in.
511
00:22:55,166 --> 00:22:58,377
Susie, I'm not really good
at reading certain situations,
512
00:22:58,377 --> 00:22:59,879
but this seems a little...
513
00:22:59,879 --> 00:23:01,005
- Fucked-up.
- Yeah.
514
00:23:01,005 --> 00:23:02,298
Where are we?
515
00:23:04,092 --> 00:23:05,259
I didn't mean to scare you.
516
00:23:05,259 --> 00:23:06,594
Oh, we're not scared.
517
00:23:06,594 --> 00:23:08,638
We love secret rooms
with no handles on the door.
518
00:23:08,638 --> 00:23:10,640
I'm Mr. Bartosiewicz,
519
00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:12,934
but you can just call me Mr. B.
520
00:23:12,934 --> 00:23:15,061
I'm Susie. This is Tess.
521
00:23:15,061 --> 00:23:16,395
I know who you are.
522
00:23:16,395 --> 00:23:17,647
Should we sit?
523
00:23:20,108 --> 00:23:23,236
Okay.
Let's see what we have here.
524
00:23:23,236 --> 00:23:25,113
We just came by
to pick up the check
525
00:23:25,113 --> 00:23:27,907
like Mr. Frick told us to,
so that's why we're here.
526
00:23:27,907 --> 00:23:29,826
To get the check.
527
00:23:29,826 --> 00:23:31,077
You're gonna get your check.
528
00:23:31,077 --> 00:23:32,453
Great.
529
00:23:32,453 --> 00:23:34,163
I just need some answers first.
530
00:23:34,163 --> 00:23:36,415
Where were you two girls
when you heard about it?
531
00:23:36,415 --> 00:23:37,792
About what?
532
00:23:37,792 --> 00:23:39,544
About the fire.
533
00:23:39,544 --> 00:23:41,462
Church.
534
00:23:41,462 --> 00:23:42,964
Church?
535
00:23:42,964 --> 00:23:44,632
Yeah.
That's where we usually are.
536
00:23:44,632 --> 00:23:47,260
Uh, in church
or going to church,
537
00:23:47,260 --> 00:23:48,803
- coming back from church.
- Mm-hmm.
538
00:23:48,803 --> 00:23:50,138
And what about you?
539
00:23:50,138 --> 00:23:52,849
Put me down for church, also.
540
00:23:52,849 --> 00:23:54,392
Okay.
541
00:23:54,392 --> 00:23:56,978
So, you're both in church.
542
00:23:56,978 --> 00:23:59,981
That's when, um,
Tess' husband found us there
543
00:23:59,981 --> 00:24:02,608
- and told us there was a fire.
- It was very upsetting.
544
00:24:02,608 --> 00:24:05,361
Thank God we were in church,
where everyone's upset.
545
00:24:05,361 --> 00:24:07,363
And your husband
can corroborate this?
546
00:24:07,363 --> 00:24:09,490
Finding you both in church?
547
00:24:10,533 --> 00:24:12,994
- He's drunk a lot.
- Mm.
548
00:24:12,994 --> 00:24:14,745
- So his memory gets fuzzy.
- Mm.
549
00:24:14,745 --> 00:24:17,165
Any idea how it started?
550
00:24:17,165 --> 00:24:19,041
The drinking?
Oh, that's a family thing.
551
00:24:19,041 --> 00:24:21,002
He's talking
about the fire, Tess.
552
00:24:21,002 --> 00:24:22,712
Any theories? Wild thoughts?
553
00:24:22,712 --> 00:24:25,214
Yeah, maybe Mom fell asleep
with a cigarette in her hand.
554
00:24:25,214 --> 00:24:27,049
Yep, that does happen a lot.
555
00:24:27,049 --> 00:24:29,844
Of course,
your mom is dead, so...
556
00:24:29,844 --> 00:24:31,846
Right. I forgot.
557
00:24:31,846 --> 00:24:33,764
She is dead.
558
00:24:33,764 --> 00:24:35,641
- Tess.
- Bad wiring!
559
00:24:35,641 --> 00:24:37,185
That's good. Bad wiring.
560
00:24:37,185 --> 00:24:40,188
Bad wiring. Interesting.
561
00:24:41,689 --> 00:24:43,774
So, is there, like,
an investigation going on or...?
562
00:24:43,774 --> 00:24:45,860
Just working the case.
563
00:24:45,860 --> 00:24:47,987
Case. So it's a case?
564
00:24:47,987 --> 00:24:50,531
You know,
some neighbors reported
565
00:24:50,531 --> 00:24:53,284
seeing a couple of women
paddling around in a rowboat
566
00:24:53,284 --> 00:24:54,535
- that night.
- Women in a rowboat?
567
00:24:54,535 --> 00:24:55,786
What's this world coming to?
568
00:24:55,786 --> 00:24:57,371
They said they were
drinking beer, laughing,
569
00:24:57,371 --> 00:24:59,373
- singing, at one point.
- Oh.
570
00:24:59,373 --> 00:25:02,293
Do you have any idea
who those two women might be?
571
00:25:02,293 --> 00:25:05,171
- No, we do not.
- Yeah, beats me.
572
00:25:05,171 --> 00:25:08,299
Okay. Well, unfortunately,
573
00:25:08,299 --> 00:25:09,884
there's still some loose ends
we need to tie
574
00:25:09,884 --> 00:25:11,886
before we get that check out
to you,
575
00:25:11,886 --> 00:25:13,387
but we will be in touch.
576
00:25:13,387 --> 00:25:15,890
- So no check today.
- Not today. But...
577
00:25:15,890 --> 00:25:18,476
Denise did bring in
some of her coffee cake.
578
00:25:18,476 --> 00:25:20,895
I bet I could scrounge up
a piece.
579
00:25:20,895 --> 00:25:24,023
- Ooh.
- Hey, how about a good faith down payment?
580
00:25:24,023 --> 00:25:25,900
You know,
ten percent to show you care?
581
00:25:25,900 --> 00:25:27,985
Wouldn't that be nice, huh?
582
00:25:27,985 --> 00:25:29,403
Yeah.
583
00:25:32,198 --> 00:25:34,200
Hey, so, can we leave?
584
00:25:35,785 --> 00:25:37,787
No reason why you can't.
585
00:25:42,792 --> 00:25:44,794
Nice to meet you, Tess.
586
00:25:50,925 --> 00:25:52,927
Boy, he seemed nice.
587
00:25:52,927 --> 00:25:55,221
Nice? Were you paying attention?
588
00:25:55,221 --> 00:25:56,889
They know what we did, Tess.
589
00:25:56,889 --> 00:25:59,475
So, what, you think they're not
gonna give us the check?
590
00:25:59,475 --> 00:26:00,685
I think
they're gonna call the cops.
591
00:26:00,685 --> 00:26:01,936
Over that shitty house?
592
00:26:01,936 --> 00:26:03,312
Hey, arson is arson.
593
00:26:03,312 --> 00:26:05,064
You make it sound so dark.
594
00:26:05,064 --> 00:26:06,399
What are we gonna do?
595
00:26:06,399 --> 00:26:07,692
Do you think
we're gonna go to jail?
596
00:26:07,692 --> 00:26:09,068
I-I don't want to go to jail.
597
00:26:09,068 --> 00:26:10,987
Okay. Well,
let's just tell them that.
598
00:26:10,987 --> 00:26:14,198
Don't you snark at me, lady.
I was doing you a favor.
599
00:26:14,198 --> 00:26:17,326
I know. I know.
600
00:26:17,326 --> 00:26:19,370
And now I need you
to do me another favor.
601
00:26:19,370 --> 00:26:21,122
Us another favor.
602
00:26:21,122 --> 00:26:24,166
That guy in there holds our fate
in his big, meaty hand,
603
00:26:24,166 --> 00:26:26,585
- and he likes you.
- Me? No.
604
00:26:26,585 --> 00:26:27,962
- You think?
- Of the two of us,
605
00:26:27,962 --> 00:26:29,547
there's only one he wanted
to bend over that desk.
606
00:26:29,547 --> 00:26:31,632
Well, that's nice.
607
00:26:31,632 --> 00:26:33,884
We need to flip this guy,
Tess. Okay?
608
00:26:33,884 --> 00:26:36,262
He has to be convinced
to overlook the fact that we are
609
00:26:36,262 --> 00:26:38,139
the worst fucking criminals
in the entire world.
610
00:26:38,139 --> 00:26:39,598
No. There have to be worse.
611
00:26:39,598 --> 00:26:41,976
Take one for the team?
Get this guy on our side?
612
00:26:41,976 --> 00:26:44,145
- By doing what?
- The same thing you did
613
00:26:44,145 --> 00:26:45,354
that got
our high school principal fired.
614
00:26:45,354 --> 00:26:47,356
I'm a married woman,
for Christ's sake.
615
00:26:47,356 --> 00:26:49,442
If that meant anything to you
at all, I wouldn't ask.
616
00:26:49,442 --> 00:26:50,693
You think I'm a whore?
617
00:26:50,693 --> 00:26:52,320
That I ain't got
a line in the sand?
618
00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:54,071
- Huh?
- Tess, I have seen you
619
00:26:54,071 --> 00:26:56,115
let your tit fall out
of your shirt for a free beer.
620
00:26:56,115 --> 00:26:57,450
Imported beer.
621
00:26:57,450 --> 00:26:59,327
I'm not saying
you have to fuck him.
622
00:26:59,327 --> 00:27:01,579
But when you see him,
623
00:27:01,579 --> 00:27:03,664
I want you to think Heineken.
624
00:27:03,664 --> 00:27:05,333
I will see what I can do.
625
00:27:05,333 --> 00:27:06,751
Okay. I got to go.
626
00:27:06,751 --> 00:27:09,587
You're good?
All, uh, shaved and everything?
627
00:27:09,587 --> 00:27:11,589
- Go. Please. Now.
- Okay.
628
00:27:11,589 --> 00:27:13,215
Bye.
629
00:27:13,215 --> 00:27:15,968
- Okay, this one's done.
- Great.
630
00:27:15,968 --> 00:27:17,678
What's in here?
631
00:27:17,678 --> 00:27:19,221
Manny?
632
00:27:19,221 --> 00:27:21,557
- Teacups.
- I don't have teacups, Manny.
633
00:27:21,557 --> 00:27:23,601
- Tchotchkes?
- What am I, your fucking grandmother?
634
00:27:23,601 --> 00:27:25,311
I don't know.
It's not Jockey shorts.
635
00:27:25,311 --> 00:27:27,730
- I'm not going near your Jockey shorts.
- Well, that's a relief.
636
00:27:27,730 --> 00:27:29,357
10:00.
I'm gonna have a cigarette.
637
00:27:29,357 --> 00:27:31,233
You can't smoke in here, Manny.
638
00:27:31,233 --> 00:27:33,194
Even though I helped you pack?
639
00:27:35,071 --> 00:27:36,822
♪ Though I couldn't...
640
00:27:36,822 --> 00:27:39,367
And it's my Jockey shorts.
641
00:27:40,701 --> 00:27:42,161
- What are you doing here?
- Can I come in?
642
00:27:42,161 --> 00:27:43,913
- Why aren't you on tour?
- I...
643
00:27:43,913 --> 00:27:45,289
- Didn't you go with Midge?
- I did.
644
00:27:45,289 --> 00:27:47,166
- But...
- Yes, come in.
645
00:27:48,209 --> 00:27:50,252
Where's Midge? Is she on tour?
646
00:27:50,252 --> 00:27:52,004
- Is she okay?
- Miriam's fine.
647
00:27:52,004 --> 00:27:54,715
What's "fine"? Where's "fine"?
Define "fine," Susie.
648
00:27:54,715 --> 00:27:57,385
Relax. God, you two
have a weird relationship.
649
00:27:57,385 --> 00:28:00,137
♪ Then I knew
just what I would be missing...
650
00:28:00,137 --> 00:28:01,806
I need Midge's money.
651
00:28:01,806 --> 00:28:04,058
- You told me not to give you Midge's money.
- I know.
652
00:28:04,058 --> 00:28:06,852
You said under no circumstances
was I to give you Midge's money.
653
00:28:06,852 --> 00:28:08,896
- I know what I said, but...
- Plus, you realize
654
00:28:08,896 --> 00:28:10,815
you never actually gave me
Midge's money, right?
655
00:28:10,815 --> 00:28:12,483
You were gonna get me
Midge's money,
656
00:28:12,483 --> 00:28:14,235
but I never got the money,
so I don't know
657
00:28:14,235 --> 00:28:16,070
how I could give you the money
that you haven't given me.
658
00:28:16,070 --> 00:28:17,530
And even if you had given me
the money,
659
00:28:17,530 --> 00:28:18,781
you told me not to give you
that money,
660
00:28:18,781 --> 00:28:21,075
so either way,
you can't have the money.
661
00:28:21,075 --> 00:28:23,577
Okay. I need you
to loan me the money.
662
00:28:23,577 --> 00:28:24,703
- Loan you the...
- Yeah.
663
00:28:24,703 --> 00:28:26,122
- Bank check would be best.
- Sure.
664
00:28:26,122 --> 00:28:27,248
- Though cash would work.
- Uh-huh.
665
00:28:27,248 --> 00:28:28,791
Let me get this straight.
666
00:28:28,791 --> 00:28:30,626
I wasn't supposed
to give you the money
667
00:28:30,626 --> 00:28:31,710
that you're supposed
to give to Midge
668
00:28:31,710 --> 00:28:32,753
that you didn't give to me,
669
00:28:32,753 --> 00:28:34,422
but now I'm supposed to give you
my money?
670
00:28:34,422 --> 00:28:36,715
Even though I know
because you told me two days ago
671
00:28:36,715 --> 00:28:37,842
that the minute
you get any money,
672
00:28:37,842 --> 00:28:39,844
- you lose it immediately.
- Yes.
673
00:28:39,844 --> 00:28:41,887
- Nap time.
- Mr. Maisel.
674
00:28:41,887 --> 00:28:44,306
Mr. Maisel,
we've had a security breach,
675
00:28:44,306 --> 00:28:47,101
and the building is on lockdown.
676
00:28:47,101 --> 00:28:48,644
You run fucking slow.
677
00:28:48,644 --> 00:28:51,647
Don't you ever not sign
my guest sheet again.
678
00:28:51,647 --> 00:28:53,190
You hear me?
679
00:28:53,190 --> 00:28:54,775
- We were talking.
- Please continue.
680
00:28:54,775 --> 00:28:56,318
It was a private conversation.
681
00:28:56,318 --> 00:28:58,362
I might have respected that
if you had signed my sheet.
682
00:28:58,362 --> 00:29:01,365
- Susie...
- Look, I just need the money.
683
00:29:01,365 --> 00:29:02,992
So, one more time from the top?
684
00:29:02,992 --> 00:29:04,660
- What if I had a gun?
- You don't have a gun.
685
00:29:04,660 --> 00:29:05,911
- But if I did?
- But you don't.
686
00:29:05,911 --> 00:29:07,371
- I have a gun.
- On you?
687
00:29:07,371 --> 00:29:09,123
Or you got to run and go get it
and run back again?
688
00:29:09,123 --> 00:29:10,499
What happened to the money
689
00:29:10,499 --> 00:29:12,334
that you said you were
gonna transfer to me, huh?
690
00:29:12,334 --> 00:29:14,211
The money that you were keeping
for Midge? Where is it?
691
00:29:14,211 --> 00:29:15,796
Know what? Never mind.
Just forget it.
692
00:29:15,796 --> 00:29:18,340
- Susie...
- Just don't tell Miriam I came here
693
00:29:18,340 --> 00:29:20,759
- when you see her.
- When am I gonna see her?
694
00:29:20,759 --> 00:29:22,553
Is she here?
I thought she was in Prague.
695
00:29:22,553 --> 00:29:24,346
- I got to go.
- You do have to go.
696
00:29:24,346 --> 00:29:27,099
Think it's nice you live
with your mom, by the way.
697
00:29:27,099 --> 00:29:30,519
That one could use a good smack.
698
00:29:38,068 --> 00:29:41,030
Hear that lonesome ♪
699
00:29:41,030 --> 00:29:43,491
♪ whip-poor-will...
700
00:29:43,491 --> 00:29:45,284
Fuck.
701
00:29:46,285 --> 00:29:48,078
One more.
702
00:29:48,078 --> 00:29:50,289
To fly ♪
703
00:29:50,289 --> 00:29:52,458
{\an8}♪ The midnight train...
704
00:29:52,458 --> 00:29:53,959
You know it's June.
705
00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:57,630
We like the picture.
706
00:29:57,630 --> 00:29:59,340
What should we play?
707
00:29:59,340 --> 00:30:01,091
You look like sporting men.
708
00:30:01,091 --> 00:30:03,677
I guess your card,
I get a drink.
709
00:30:03,677 --> 00:30:05,763
- Beat it.
- Oh, no. I'm good.
710
00:30:05,763 --> 00:30:07,181
You'll love this. Tell him.
711
00:30:07,181 --> 00:30:09,600
- I don't know you.
- Oh, well, I'm very famous.
712
00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:11,519
I perform
for crown heads of Europe.
713
00:30:11,519 --> 00:30:13,812
And the rest of their bodies
if they're still attached.
714
00:30:13,812 --> 00:30:16,649
I have met the queen.
She matched me drink for drink,
715
00:30:16,649 --> 00:30:18,275
and then we...
716
00:30:18,275 --> 00:30:21,278
Slippery stool here.
Now, wouldn't that be a story?
717
00:30:21,278 --> 00:30:23,906
Cause of death:
slippery barstool.
718
00:30:23,906 --> 00:30:26,325
Not a manly death
like fighting in a war
719
00:30:26,325 --> 00:30:28,035
- or choking on steak.
- Christ.
720
00:30:28,035 --> 00:30:31,247
Take a card.
I'm a pacifist and a vegetarian,
721
00:30:31,247 --> 00:30:34,041
so I guess
it's the deadly barstool for me.
722
00:30:34,041 --> 00:30:35,543
Put it back.
723
00:30:37,253 --> 00:30:38,671
Ooh.
724
00:30:38,671 --> 00:30:40,673
- This your card?
- Shit. Yeah.
725
00:30:40,673 --> 00:30:42,424
- Whiskey neat.
- You're picking those up.
726
00:30:42,424 --> 00:30:44,677
Think of a number.
I guess right,
727
00:30:44,677 --> 00:30:46,262
you pick up the cards.
728
00:30:46,262 --> 00:30:48,722
- Fucking hate magicians.
- Oh, that's just Alfie.
729
00:30:48,722 --> 00:30:51,267
- He's a regular.
- Yeah, well, if he tries to pull
730
00:30:51,267 --> 00:30:53,852
a quarter out of my nose, I'm
gonna jam a rabbit up his ass.
731
00:30:53,852 --> 00:30:55,771
- Shit.
- Pick a card.
732
00:30:55,771 --> 00:30:57,523
I guess right,
you buy me a drink.
733
00:30:57,523 --> 00:30:59,650
- Maybe some other time.
- Oh, bad day?
734
00:30:59,650 --> 00:31:01,819
- Wow. You are magic.
- Here.
735
00:31:01,819 --> 00:31:03,862
Just for fun. Which hand?
736
00:31:03,862 --> 00:31:05,573
- What am I, six?
- For fun.
737
00:31:05,573 --> 00:31:06,949
Get your mind off things.
738
00:31:06,949 --> 00:31:08,784
That one.
I watched you pick it up.
739
00:31:08,784 --> 00:31:10,869
Which hand? For fun.
740
00:31:10,869 --> 00:31:12,871
I know you're having enough
trouble finding money as it is,
741
00:31:12,871 --> 00:31:14,164
- right?
- What?
742
00:31:14,164 --> 00:31:15,666
Which hand?
743
00:31:16,917 --> 00:31:18,586
{\an8}Two out of three. Which hand?
744
00:31:18,586 --> 00:31:20,337
- Wait, that was two out of three.
- Three out of four.
745
00:31:20,337 --> 00:31:22,381
Just for fun.
Can't let you go up in smoke,
746
00:31:22,381 --> 00:31:23,632
- right?
- Hey, how did you...
747
00:31:23,632 --> 00:31:26,135
- Pick a hand.
- I'm gonna be fucking wrong!
748
00:31:26,135 --> 00:31:28,512
{\an8}- Have a little faith.
- Alfie, come on.
749
00:31:28,512 --> 00:31:30,514
{\an8}I was trying to let you win.
750
00:31:30,514 --> 00:31:33,767
Look, pal,
screw with someone else, huh?
751
00:31:39,815 --> 00:31:43,319
You know, it's not good to sit
in a bar when you're depressed.
752
00:31:43,319 --> 00:31:44,695
He's gonna keep talking to me.
753
00:31:44,695 --> 00:31:46,238
Sometimes
it's good to be somewhere
754
00:31:46,238 --> 00:31:47,448
that makes you smile.
755
00:31:47,448 --> 00:31:48,907
Alfie.
756
00:31:48,907 --> 00:31:51,744
Where would you like to be
right now?
757
00:31:51,744 --> 00:31:54,246
- Fucking place but here.
- Hmm.
758
00:31:54,246 --> 00:31:57,207
What's the opposite of here?
759
00:31:57,207 --> 00:31:59,084
How about... here?
760
00:32:03,589 --> 00:32:05,966
What the fuck?
761
00:32:08,677 --> 00:32:10,638
What the hell just happened?
762
00:32:10,638 --> 00:32:12,264
You just bought him a drink.
763
00:32:12,264 --> 00:32:15,017
♪ I'm so lonesome...
764
00:32:15,017 --> 00:32:16,518
Fucking hate magicians.
765
00:32:19,355 --> 00:32:23,901
♪ Harvey mentioned his home,
a tropical town ♪
766
00:32:33,285 --> 00:32:35,871
- In Coney Island ♪
- In Coney Island ♪
767
00:32:37,790 --> 00:32:40,876
- In Coney Island ♪
- ♪ In Coney Island...
768
00:32:40,876 --> 00:32:42,586
Everyone stay together.
769
00:32:42,586 --> 00:32:45,506
{\an8}- Oh, boys, look.
- It's not a real mermaid.
770
00:32:45,506 --> 00:32:47,841
{\an8}- She sold us pickles earlier. Keep moving.
- Hi.
771
00:32:47,841 --> 00:32:49,426
Boy, Abe, are you fun.
772
00:32:49,426 --> 00:32:52,179
This wasn't supposed to be
an all-day outing, Moishe.
773
00:32:52,179 --> 00:32:55,557
Stop that. The agreement was
one ride on the Wonder Wheel,
774
00:32:55,557 --> 00:32:56,892
then home. Stop that.
775
00:32:56,892 --> 00:32:59,603
It did not include
the whole of Coney Island.
776
00:32:59,603 --> 00:33:02,815
Stop that. We have now been
heading toward the Wonder Wheel
777
00:33:02,815 --> 00:33:04,358
for a full two hours.
778
00:33:04,358 --> 00:33:06,819
We've stopped for games
and T-shirts
779
00:33:06,819 --> 00:33:09,279
and funny pictures
of us sticking our heads
780
00:33:09,279 --> 00:33:12,074
through cutouts
of bodybuilders and cowboys.
781
00:33:12,074 --> 00:33:14,660
I mean it. It's time we do
782
00:33:14,660 --> 00:33:16,870
- what we came here for already.
- Look what I got!
783
00:33:16,870 --> 00:33:19,581
Here we go!
I scream, you scream ♪
784
00:33:19,581 --> 00:33:21,166
We all scream for ice cream ♪♪
785
00:33:21,166 --> 00:33:23,085
- Oh, for the love of God.
- For Jacob
786
00:33:23,085 --> 00:33:26,505
- and Petey and Moishe and Joely.
- Thank you.
787
00:33:26,505 --> 00:33:28,632
We've come to a dead stop here, Shirley.
788
00:33:28,632 --> 00:33:30,467
And for Rose and for me.
789
00:33:30,467 --> 00:33:33,220
We can give out ice cream
and walk at the same time,
790
00:33:33,220 --> 00:33:34,555
- can't we?
- Grandma, Grandma.
- And finally...
791
00:33:34,555 --> 00:33:36,181
Oh, the birthday boy.
792
00:33:36,181 --> 00:33:37,850
By the time we get there...
793
00:33:37,850 --> 00:33:40,185
- Wait, no ice cream for me?
- You don't eat ice cream.
794
00:33:40,185 --> 00:33:42,271
You don't eat anything,
and she got you one.
795
00:33:42,271 --> 00:33:43,731
I got to get something to drink.
796
00:33:43,731 --> 00:33:45,107
We'll lose the others.
797
00:33:45,107 --> 00:33:47,067
Oh, they'll be back.
798
00:33:48,444 --> 00:33:50,279
You know,
I schtupped your mother
799
00:33:50,279 --> 00:33:51,655
under this very boardwalk.
800
00:33:51,655 --> 00:33:53,031
Thank you for that.
801
00:33:53,031 --> 00:33:55,075
Just thought you'd like
a little family history.
802
00:33:55,075 --> 00:33:56,910
- Two.
- You got it.
803
00:33:58,078 --> 00:33:59,913
Everything okay at the club?
804
00:33:59,913 --> 00:34:01,957
Fine. Why would you say that?
805
00:34:01,957 --> 00:34:04,084
You got a look
all Maisel men get
806
00:34:04,084 --> 00:34:06,587
when they got work troubles
or prostate issues.
807
00:34:06,587 --> 00:34:08,422
I just...
808
00:34:08,422 --> 00:34:09,882
got these landlords,
809
00:34:09,882 --> 00:34:11,842
and they're a little upset
with me.
810
00:34:11,842 --> 00:34:14,052
- Why?
- The club's drawing too much attention
811
00:34:14,052 --> 00:34:15,304
to their other business.
812
00:34:15,304 --> 00:34:17,598
- You know, downstairs?
- Ah, yes.
813
00:34:17,598 --> 00:34:19,266
I can't be at war
with these people.
814
00:34:19,266 --> 00:34:20,851
For many reasons.
815
00:34:20,851 --> 00:34:22,811
- Then you got to pay 'em.
- I do pay them.
816
00:34:22,811 --> 00:34:25,105
Not rent, you yutz. Payola.
Give 'em a taste.
817
00:34:25,105 --> 00:34:26,690
I don't think
that's what they're looking for.
818
00:34:26,690 --> 00:34:28,859
Of course it is.
There's not a thing in the world
819
00:34:28,859 --> 00:34:31,111
that money can't fix.
You see your son?
820
00:34:31,111 --> 00:34:33,197
Had a fit to win
that Popeye doll
821
00:34:33,197 --> 00:34:34,907
at the whack-a-mole game
back there.
822
00:34:34,907 --> 00:34:37,367
You think he's really such
a terrific whack-a-mole player?
823
00:34:37,367 --> 00:34:39,578
You saw him. All he hit
was the kid next to him.
824
00:34:39,578 --> 00:34:41,079
I slip the guy five bucks,
825
00:34:41,079 --> 00:34:43,332
suddenly, Ethan's the king
of whack-a-mole.
826
00:34:43,332 --> 00:34:45,209
Five bucks. Got the doll.
What did we learn?
827
00:34:45,209 --> 00:34:47,503
Nothing. Including
how to play whack-a-mole.
828
00:34:47,503 --> 00:34:49,505
Abe, please.
It was an accident.
829
00:34:49,505 --> 00:34:51,924
You saw we took a wrong turn
and said nothing.
830
00:34:51,924 --> 00:34:55,093
And now we have to double back
around the Parachute Jump,
831
00:34:55,093 --> 00:34:57,262
and if we get vomited on
from the sky,
832
00:34:57,262 --> 00:34:58,680
it's on your head. Stop that.
833
00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:00,432
This is a wonderful camera,
Mr. Weissman.
834
00:35:00,432 --> 00:35:01,683
I'm glad you like it. Keep up.
835
00:35:01,683 --> 00:35:03,352
I got beautiful shots
of the boardwalk
836
00:35:03,352 --> 00:35:05,145
and the ocean
and very funny pony rides.
837
00:35:05,145 --> 00:35:07,064
- Double-time, double-time.
- I was thinking
838
00:35:07,064 --> 00:35:09,608
- we could get one all together?
- Absolutely not.
839
00:35:09,608 --> 00:35:11,401
Hello. We need, uh...
840
00:35:11,401 --> 00:35:13,529
Did you boys bring any money
from home?
841
00:35:13,529 --> 00:35:15,864
No? Great. Guess I'm paying.
842
00:35:15,864 --> 00:35:19,326
♪ At the seashore,
by the tropical ♪
843
00:35:20,661 --> 00:35:22,663
Joey!
844
00:35:24,540 --> 00:35:27,960
Joey!
845
00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:29,670
Tell your parents I'll give
them ten percent of the take.
846
00:35:29,670 --> 00:35:31,004
- Joel...
- Just tell 'em.
847
00:35:31,004 --> 00:35:32,631
First of all, I never said
they were my parents,
848
00:35:32,631 --> 00:35:34,508
and second of all,
this wasn't a shakedown.
849
00:35:34,508 --> 00:35:35,884
Whatever it is, that's the deal.
850
00:35:35,884 --> 00:35:37,761
I'll tell them five
and let them say ten.
851
00:35:37,761 --> 00:35:38,887
You're just
so much more successful
852
00:35:38,887 --> 00:35:40,347
than you were supposed to be.
853
00:35:40,347 --> 00:35:43,141
So, now that your search
and destroy mission is over...
854
00:35:43,141 --> 00:35:44,560
It wasn't
a search and destroy mission.
855
00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:45,769
Just a destroy mission.
856
00:35:45,769 --> 00:35:46,895
Now that it's over,
857
00:35:46,895 --> 00:35:48,647
you still gonna be
coming around?
858
00:35:48,647 --> 00:35:50,023
Yes.
859
00:35:50,023 --> 00:35:52,693
A lot. Too much.
860
00:35:52,693 --> 00:35:54,736
It makes you feel any better,
the rent they're charging you
861
00:35:54,736 --> 00:35:56,280
- is really low.
- That's something.
862
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:57,865
They will be raising it
next year, however.
863
00:35:57,865 --> 00:35:59,867
It will be ridiculously high
and unfair.
864
00:35:59,867 --> 00:36:01,994
Terrific. I'll see you tonight?
865
00:36:01,994 --> 00:36:04,663
Yes. I'll be
in my rent collector's outfit.
866
00:36:04,663 --> 00:36:07,124
If anyone can pull it off,
it's you.
867
00:36:09,543 --> 00:36:12,713
Pretzels!
Get your pretzels!
868
00:36:12,713 --> 00:36:15,716
Get your pretzels! Pretzels!
869
00:36:28,061 --> 00:36:30,981
It's short. He owes me a dollar.
You owe me a dollar!
870
00:36:30,981 --> 00:36:33,150
Abe, either go over to the booth
and discuss it
871
00:36:33,150 --> 00:36:34,985
or accept
that he owes you a dollar.
872
00:36:34,985 --> 00:36:37,946
But if I go over there,
you will all follow,
873
00:36:37,946 --> 00:36:40,032
and I will never get this... Stop that.
874
00:36:40,032 --> 00:36:42,492
I will never get this train
back on the tracks.
875
00:36:42,492 --> 00:36:44,453
- Who wants some funnel cake?
- Shirley, no.
876
00:36:44,453 --> 00:36:45,746
- Me!
- Say cheese!
877
00:36:45,746 --> 00:36:47,497
Zelda, please.
I'm gonna take that camera back.
878
00:36:47,497 --> 00:36:49,207
Abe, I have to make a call
at 3:00,
879
00:36:49,207 --> 00:36:51,376
so we either have to be done
with the ride by then,
880
00:36:51,376 --> 00:36:53,754
- or we should wait until after.
- Who are you calling?
881
00:36:53,754 --> 00:36:56,673
It's a potential client,
if you must know.
882
00:36:56,673 --> 00:36:59,259
Is this that
matchmaking business again?
883
00:36:59,259 --> 00:37:01,178
I-I have to tell you,
I don't get it.
884
00:37:01,178 --> 00:37:03,347
Well, you don't have to get it.
Only I have to get it.
885
00:37:03,347 --> 00:37:05,724
How lazy are people anyway?
886
00:37:05,724 --> 00:37:08,477
I mean, they can't just find
spouses on their own?
887
00:37:08,477 --> 00:37:10,520
- You didn't.
- Of course I did.
888
00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:12,731
I met you through
a family friend. Sonja.
889
00:37:12,731 --> 00:37:14,775
Yes, Sonja the matchmaker.
890
00:37:14,775 --> 00:37:16,944
- Mama!
- Miriam.
891
00:37:16,944 --> 00:37:18,278
Mommy!
892
00:37:18,278 --> 00:37:20,364
I heard someone
had an unexpected birthday.
893
00:37:20,364 --> 00:37:22,407
- What are you doing here?
- You said you were
894
00:37:22,407 --> 00:37:24,785
- in Prague.
- I did, yes.
895
00:37:24,785 --> 00:37:26,912
- But...
- Explain later. Everyone, on the cars. Now.
896
00:37:26,912 --> 00:37:28,372
Why aren't you on tour?
897
00:37:28,372 --> 00:37:30,123
Why'd you let them
change our son's birthday?
898
00:37:30,123 --> 00:37:31,333
- It was out of my control.
- Same here.
899
00:37:31,333 --> 00:37:32,793
I wish you'd told me
you were coming back.
900
00:37:32,793 --> 00:37:34,086
We could've moved his birthday
to tomorrow.
901
00:37:34,086 --> 00:37:35,879
I was actually hoping
I could talk to you all
902
00:37:35,879 --> 00:37:37,547
about what happened.
Maybe we could go somewhere...
903
00:37:37,547 --> 00:37:39,967
No time. Rose, move.
Shirley, go with Rose. Oh.
904
00:37:39,967 --> 00:37:41,885
- But-but, Papa, I...
- Miriam,
905
00:37:41,885 --> 00:37:43,595
we'll pay attention
to you later.
906
00:37:43,595 --> 00:37:45,597
Ethan, go. Joel, go. Moishe, go.
907
00:37:45,597 --> 00:37:47,641
- If I could just talk to you for a minute.
- Sorry. Jacob.
908
00:37:47,641 --> 00:37:50,435
- Petey, go. Zelda, come.
- I want to stay here
909
00:37:50,435 --> 00:37:52,270
- and take pictures.
- Papa, please.
- Oh.
910
00:37:52,270 --> 00:37:53,814
Miriam, um...
911
00:37:53,814 --> 00:37:55,691
Return this for me.
912
00:37:55,691 --> 00:37:58,068
Mention that he shorted me
a dollar. Don't press it.
913
00:37:58,068 --> 00:37:59,820
I'm not threatening
legal action.
914
00:37:59,820 --> 00:38:01,989
But if there is
someone official around,
915
00:38:01,989 --> 00:38:05,325
complain in a very loud voice,
then cry and faint.
916
00:38:05,325 --> 00:38:07,160
But... Wait. Wait!
917
00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:10,330
- I want to talk...
- Tickets, please.
918
00:38:10,330 --> 00:38:12,958
- Sorry. I got to...
- Lady, what are you doing?
919
00:38:12,958 --> 00:38:15,585
- There's a line!
- Mama, I really need...
920
00:38:15,585 --> 00:38:17,421
Oy.
921
00:38:17,421 --> 00:38:19,589
Miriam,
I don't understand!
922
00:38:19,589 --> 00:38:22,259
How are you here
if you were in Prague
923
00:38:22,259 --> 00:38:24,928
- this morning?
- I decided to come home early!
924
00:38:24,928 --> 00:38:27,973
- Why?
- Because they told me to!
925
00:38:27,973 --> 00:38:29,933
- The Czechoslovakians?
- No!
926
00:38:29,933 --> 00:38:32,519
- Was the tour canceled?
- No!
927
00:38:32,519 --> 00:38:34,479
- Just me!
- What?
928
00:38:34,479 --> 00:38:37,232
I said something onstage
that they didn't like,
929
00:38:37,232 --> 00:38:39,860
so they fired me. I was fired!
930
00:38:39,860 --> 00:38:40,986
- No!
- What?
931
00:38:40,986 --> 00:38:42,612
What did you say?
What did she say?
932
00:38:42,612 --> 00:38:44,072
Oh, Miriam, how awful.
933
00:38:44,072 --> 00:38:46,241
- What did you say onstage?
- Just jokes!
934
00:38:46,241 --> 00:38:47,367
Very funny jokes,
935
00:38:47,367 --> 00:38:49,077
which I must point out
was the job description,
936
00:38:49,077 --> 00:38:51,496
but they got mad
and dropped me from the tour.
937
00:38:51,496 --> 00:38:54,541
At the airport. On the tarmac.
938
00:38:54,541 --> 00:38:57,753
Outside where everyone
could see you? How humiliating.
939
00:38:57,753 --> 00:38:59,504
I'm sorry,
did you say you were fired?
940
00:38:59,504 --> 00:39:01,673
Yes, Moishe, I was fired!
941
00:39:01,673 --> 00:39:03,759
That's very disturbing to hear, Miriam.
942
00:39:03,759 --> 00:39:05,177
Especially as your lender.
943
00:39:05,177 --> 00:39:07,012
- I know, Moishe.
- Wait, what did you say?
944
00:39:07,012 --> 00:39:08,263
I'm sorry, Moishe!
945
00:39:08,263 --> 00:39:09,473
Did he say "as your lender"?
946
00:39:09,473 --> 00:39:10,849
I will make it up
to you, Moishe!
947
00:39:10,849 --> 00:39:12,225
What does that mean,
"as your lender"?
948
00:39:12,225 --> 00:39:14,227
Your contract
was your collateral.
949
00:39:14,227 --> 00:39:15,562
Do you know
what collateral is, Miriam?
950
00:39:15,562 --> 00:39:17,731
I do, but you're going
to tell me anyway.
951
00:39:17,731 --> 00:39:19,066
Collateral
is that thing you used
952
00:39:19,066 --> 00:39:20,984
to get me to sell you
that apartment back!
953
00:39:20,984 --> 00:39:23,320
- What apartment?
- Your contract had numbers
954
00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:24,488
indicating money.
955
00:39:24,488 --> 00:39:26,948
And a Christmas special
with Bob Hope.
956
00:39:26,948 --> 00:39:28,450
Remember the Christmas special,
Miriam?
957
00:39:28,450 --> 00:39:31,453
The Christmas special never had
Bob Hope in it, Moishe.
958
00:39:31,453 --> 00:39:33,163
- What apartment?
- Our apartment.
959
00:39:33,163 --> 00:39:35,248
Our apartment?
You bought our apartment?
960
00:39:35,248 --> 00:39:37,375
Yes,
I bought our apartment.
961
00:39:37,375 --> 00:39:39,086
And you borrowed money
from my father?
962
00:39:39,086 --> 00:39:40,754
- Why is that bad?
- It's not.
963
00:39:40,754 --> 00:39:41,880
It sure as fuck is!
964
00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:43,965
I don't understand.
What did she buy?
965
00:39:43,965 --> 00:39:45,467
She bought her apartment!
966
00:39:45,467 --> 00:39:48,053
- What apartment?
- Our apartment, Abe!
967
00:39:48,053 --> 00:39:49,304
You don't have an apartment.
968
00:39:49,304 --> 00:39:51,473
Their old apartment, Abe!
969
00:39:51,473 --> 00:39:53,475
I can't believe you borrowed
money from my father!
970
00:39:53,475 --> 00:39:55,352
Joel, I'm not going to mention
that I picked up
971
00:39:55,352 --> 00:39:57,771
on a very insulting tone there,
but I did.
972
00:39:57,771 --> 00:39:59,481
- Why would you do that?
- Why would you do that?
973
00:39:59,481 --> 00:40:01,191
Because I loved that apartment!
974
00:40:01,191 --> 00:40:03,318
Because I was happy
in that apartment.
975
00:40:03,318 --> 00:40:06,196
I want the kids to grow up
in that apartment.
976
00:40:06,196 --> 00:40:07,489
They won't have a yard!
977
00:40:07,489 --> 00:40:09,658
I know, Shirley!
978
00:40:09,658 --> 00:40:11,618
Can we get back to the point
that I was swindled
979
00:40:11,618 --> 00:40:13,286
and my son insulted me?
980
00:40:13,286 --> 00:40:15,789
- You did not get swindled.
- I did not insult you,
981
00:40:15,789 --> 00:40:17,082
and she didn't know
she was gonna get fired.
982
00:40:17,082 --> 00:40:19,417
- She should've assumed.
- Why?
983
00:40:19,417 --> 00:40:21,002
Because you can't tell a joke.
984
00:40:21,002 --> 00:40:23,338
I've told you that
over and over and over,
985
00:40:23,338 --> 00:40:24,673
but you just won't listen!
986
00:40:24,673 --> 00:40:26,925
That's right! You won't!
987
00:40:26,925 --> 00:40:29,386
I will figure out a way
to get you your money.
988
00:40:29,386 --> 00:40:31,513
- How much did you borrow?
- Why do you want to know?
989
00:40:31,513 --> 00:40:33,765
- I'm talking to Midge.
- Would you like some privacy?
990
00:40:33,765 --> 00:40:35,517
- Maybe I can help her out.
- With what?
991
00:40:35,517 --> 00:40:37,435
Sonja was not a matchmaker.
992
00:40:37,435 --> 00:40:39,563
- Of course she was.
- No.
993
00:40:39,563 --> 00:40:41,982
Matchmakers get paid.
No one paid her.
994
00:40:41,982 --> 00:40:44,526
- Your mother paid her.
- What?
995
00:40:44,526 --> 00:40:48,113
Abe, for God's sake,
you were 30 and unmarried!
996
00:40:48,113 --> 00:40:49,906
Plus, your wardrobe.
997
00:40:49,906 --> 00:40:51,908
They had to throw in
a savings bond
998
00:40:51,908 --> 00:40:53,869
and a Turkish
ceremonial rifle set
999
00:40:53,869 --> 00:40:56,246
- for my father!
- That's where he got that?
1000
00:40:56,246 --> 00:40:58,373
I need a pen. Who has a pen?
1001
00:40:58,373 --> 00:41:00,500
Aren't you supposed
to be prepared for anything?
1002
00:41:00,500 --> 00:41:02,252
That's the Boy Scouts, Moishe.
1003
00:41:02,252 --> 00:41:04,171
I need to do some math here!
1004
00:41:04,171 --> 00:41:07,090
You do not need to do any math!
You will get your money.
1005
00:41:07,090 --> 00:41:09,426
- I don't believe you.
- You think I'd lie to you
1006
00:41:09,426 --> 00:41:11,553
- on my son's fake birthday?
- What?
1007
00:41:11,553 --> 00:41:14,014
That was our apartment! You
should've discussed it with me.
1008
00:41:14,014 --> 00:41:15,807
- Why?
- At the very least, I could've told you
1009
00:41:15,807 --> 00:41:17,392
to never borrow money
from my father.
1010
00:41:17,392 --> 00:41:19,102
How did I become
the bad guy here?
1011
00:41:19,102 --> 00:41:21,479
Where did you get the idea
to buy your apartment?
1012
00:41:21,479 --> 00:41:24,232
How did I wind up in a cage
with Petey and Jacob?!
1013
00:41:24,232 --> 00:41:25,942
This funnel cake is delicious.
1014
00:41:25,942 --> 00:41:27,903
Ethan!
1015
00:41:27,903 --> 00:41:30,572
Is your funnel cake delicious?
1016
00:41:30,572 --> 00:41:33,950
Jacob,
is your funnel cake delicious?
1017
00:41:33,950 --> 00:41:37,037
Petey,
is your funnel cake delicious?
1018
00:41:37,037 --> 00:41:38,747
Hey, lady, shut up!
1019
00:41:38,747 --> 00:41:41,541
- You shut up!
- No, you shut up!
1020
00:41:41,541 --> 00:41:44,878
Two thousand feet in the air.
That's a very dangerous height
1021
00:41:44,878 --> 00:41:47,214
to tell a Jewish man
he's been had!
1022
00:41:47,214 --> 00:41:49,299
What about a Catholic? Is it
a good height for a Catholic?
1023
00:41:49,299 --> 00:41:51,009
Was that the joke
that got you fired?
1024
00:41:51,009 --> 00:41:53,470
You'll get your money.
1025
00:41:53,470 --> 00:41:55,347
- If I had a nickel...
- What?
1026
00:41:55,347 --> 00:41:58,558
If I had a nickel! But I don't
because you got fired.
1027
00:41:58,558 --> 00:42:01,519
Who wants
another funnel cake?
1028
00:42:01,519 --> 00:42:03,605
I did not intend
to tell everyone this way.
1029
00:42:03,605 --> 00:42:05,565
Look, when we get back
to the house,
1030
00:42:05,565 --> 00:42:07,150
we can sit down and discuss this
1031
00:42:07,150 --> 00:42:09,819
like normal,
civilized goddamn people!
1032
00:42:09,819 --> 00:42:11,238
Okay?
1033
00:42:12,822 --> 00:42:14,950
So fun.
1034
00:42:14,950 --> 00:42:17,160
- Say cheese!
- Oh!
1035
00:42:19,871 --> 00:42:22,040
Every day, I get home from work,
and she's left me a list.
1036
00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:24,960
"Take out the trash.
Fix the sink. Walk the dog."
1037
00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:27,754
- You got a dog?
- "By the way, we got a dog."
1038
00:42:27,754 --> 00:42:29,965
Now, I know
we've had some problems,
1039
00:42:29,965 --> 00:42:32,217
but still, I'm doing everything
I can to make it all up to her,
1040
00:42:32,217 --> 00:42:33,885
- and she's not giving an inch.
- Have a good night.
1041
00:42:33,885 --> 00:42:35,762
- See you next time.
- Plus, she's never home.
1042
00:42:35,762 --> 00:42:37,597
She's always
at secretarial school,
1043
00:42:37,597 --> 00:42:39,724
which is probably
why the lists she leaves me
1044
00:42:39,724 --> 00:42:40,809
are so professional.
1045
00:42:40,809 --> 00:42:43,478
So, today,
I'm out with Fletcher...
1046
00:42:43,478 --> 00:42:45,480
- Who?
- The dog. And I'm thinking about everything,
1047
00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:46,523
and I'm starting to get mad.
1048
00:42:46,523 --> 00:42:48,566
I decide to confront her. Tonight.
1049
00:42:48,566 --> 00:42:50,902
So, she comes home,
and I'm standing there,
1050
00:42:50,902 --> 00:42:52,320
all ready for that cold, steely,
1051
00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:54,489
Oktoberfest pretzel waitress
stare of hers,
1052
00:42:54,489 --> 00:42:56,533
and I say,
"Imogene, we need to talk."
1053
00:42:56,533 --> 00:42:58,785
She says give her a minute.
She goes into the bedroom.
1054
00:42:58,785 --> 00:43:00,912
Two minutes later,
she comes out.
1055
00:43:00,912 --> 00:43:02,789
Completely naked.
1056
00:43:02,789 --> 00:43:05,250
- Imogene?
- I am frozen. Speechless.
1057
00:43:05,250 --> 00:43:08,628
And then she smiles and says,
"Have a great night at the club.
1058
00:43:08,628 --> 00:43:10,588
Tell Joel I said hello."
1059
00:43:10,588 --> 00:43:12,340
And cool as a cucumber,
1060
00:43:12,340 --> 00:43:13,758
she turns
and just leaves the room.
1061
00:43:13,758 --> 00:43:15,677
Are you serious?
She said to tell me hello?
1062
00:43:17,721 --> 00:43:20,140
Fuck.
1063
00:43:20,140 --> 00:43:22,142
One second.
1064
00:43:22,142 --> 00:43:25,729
♪ Sahara,
where it got to be warm ♪
1065
00:43:25,729 --> 00:43:27,689
♪ Oh...
1066
00:43:27,689 --> 00:43:29,941
Our first shakedown.
1067
00:43:29,941 --> 00:43:32,193
We are officially
in the nightclub business.
1068
00:43:34,029 --> 00:43:36,656
♪ These gallops are...
1069
00:43:37,699 --> 00:43:39,909
Bank's open tonight.
1070
00:43:39,909 --> 00:43:41,494
Follow me.
1071
00:43:42,495 --> 00:43:46,166
♪ Anymore...
1072
00:43:51,212 --> 00:43:52,630
Sit.
1073
00:43:52,630 --> 00:43:55,467
- Okay. So, what's...
- Don't talk.
1074
00:43:59,054 --> 00:44:00,680
Midge needs her money.
1075
00:44:00,680 --> 00:44:02,307
- Yeah, I know.
- No.
1076
00:44:02,307 --> 00:44:03,892
That's talking.
1077
00:44:03,892 --> 00:44:05,518
She needs her money
1078
00:44:05,518 --> 00:44:07,562
in order to pay my father
for our old apartment
1079
00:44:07,562 --> 00:44:09,481
that, apparently, she
bought back from him yesterday.
1080
00:44:09,481 --> 00:44:10,940
Did you know that?
1081
00:44:10,940 --> 00:44:12,275
She did it
when I wasn't looking.
1082
00:44:12,275 --> 00:44:13,735
That's some top-notch managing.
1083
00:44:13,735 --> 00:44:15,612
You are kicking
a one-legged dog, man.
1084
00:44:15,612 --> 00:44:17,072
Okay, well, she needs her money,
1085
00:44:17,072 --> 00:44:19,115
so I am going to write you
a check.
1086
00:44:19,115 --> 00:44:21,951
You will then write her a check
based on this check,
1087
00:44:21,951 --> 00:44:23,870
and she will have her money
1088
00:44:23,870 --> 00:44:25,705
and will never know
that you did not.
1089
00:44:25,705 --> 00:44:28,541
Really? Wow, I can't believe
you would do that.
1090
00:44:28,541 --> 00:44:31,628
Hey, listen,
you are not most of the things
1091
00:44:31,628 --> 00:44:32,921
I have called you in the past.
1092
00:44:32,921 --> 00:44:34,464
However...
1093
00:44:34,464 --> 00:44:36,299
before I hand this over to you,
1094
00:44:36,299 --> 00:44:38,134
we're gonna have a little chat.
1095
00:44:38,134 --> 00:44:40,053
- Shit.
- Yeah, shit.
1096
00:44:40,053 --> 00:44:41,304
Exactly shit.
1097
00:44:41,304 --> 00:44:43,223
And you are gonna
tell me everything.
1098
00:44:43,223 --> 00:44:45,433
What happened to Midge's money,
1099
00:44:45,433 --> 00:44:47,102
what you did with it,
what she thinks you did with it,
1100
00:44:47,102 --> 00:44:48,269
et cetera.
1101
00:44:48,269 --> 00:44:49,979
How big a drink you want?
1102
00:44:49,979 --> 00:44:52,982
- This big.
- Coming right up.
1103
00:44:56,986 --> 00:45:00,156
As Dorothy Parker once said ♪
1104
00:45:00,156 --> 00:45:03,034
{\an8}♪ To her boyfriend,
"Fare thee well" ♪
1105
00:45:03,034 --> 00:45:06,037
Love, love, love, lovely ♪
1106
00:45:06,037 --> 00:45:09,207
♪ As Columbus announced
when he knew he was bounced ♪
1107
00:45:09,207 --> 00:45:11,876
♪ "It was swell,
Isabel, swell" ♪
1108
00:45:11,876 --> 00:45:14,879
♪ Love, love, love,
love, love, love, lovely ♪
1109
00:45:14,879 --> 00:45:18,591
It was ♪♪
1110
00:45:18,591 --> 00:45:20,927
Any messages?
Shit, are you sure?
1111
00:45:20,927 --> 00:45:22,512
I was supposed to have a gig
this weekend.
1112
00:45:22,512 --> 00:45:23,888
Okay, what about Harry Corn?
1113
00:45:23,888 --> 00:45:26,266
Did he have any messages
about a gig?
1114
00:45:26,266 --> 00:45:28,685
Chip Glenn? Anything for him?
1115
00:45:28,685 --> 00:45:31,020
Well, who's got a gig
I can steal over there?
1116
00:45:31,020 --> 00:45:32,522
It worked great
in Boston, Philly.
1117
00:45:32,522 --> 00:45:33,857
I get to Denver, nothing.
1118
00:45:33,857 --> 00:45:35,692
Well, it's an East Coast joke.
My lunch joke,
1119
00:45:35,692 --> 00:45:37,444
I have a different sandwich
for each part of the country.
1120
00:45:37,444 --> 00:45:38,945
- Which sandwich is funniest?
- Hoagie.
1121
00:45:38,945 --> 00:45:41,072
- Hoagie is a funny sandwich.
- Put that away.
1122
00:45:41,072 --> 00:45:42,866
Someone sees that check,
they'll follow you home,
1123
00:45:42,866 --> 00:45:44,075
knock you in the head
and steal it.
1124
00:45:44,075 --> 00:45:46,369
Follow me home?
That's 50 blocks.
1125
00:45:46,369 --> 00:45:48,246
Why not just knock me
in the head right outside?
1126
00:45:48,246 --> 00:45:50,248
I'd love to, but first,
can we talk business?
1127
00:45:50,248 --> 00:45:52,625
- Of course.
- So, past is behind us.
1128
00:45:52,625 --> 00:45:54,919
Shy who? One less what?
Fuck him.
1129
00:45:54,919 --> 00:45:57,422
- Moving forward, we need a game plan.
- Agreed.
1130
00:45:57,422 --> 00:45:59,048
- And I was thinking...
- Well, if it isn't Mrs. Maisel.
1131
00:45:59,048 --> 00:46:00,675
I told him not to do this.
1132
00:46:00,675 --> 00:46:02,844
I am not doing anything.
I'm just stopping by
1133
00:46:02,844 --> 00:46:05,555
to say hello to a fellow comic
and... Oh, look here.
1134
00:46:05,555 --> 00:46:07,891
- Have you seen this?
- Yeah, we saw the Jack Ballard thing.
1135
00:46:07,891 --> 00:46:09,809
- Oh, this is better.
- What is it?
1136
00:46:09,809 --> 00:46:11,269
It's a good,
old-fashioned hit job
1137
00:46:11,269 --> 00:46:13,104
- about a certain Mrs. Maisel.
- What?
1138
00:46:13,104 --> 00:46:15,064
You know,
she comes out of nowhere,
1139
00:46:15,064 --> 00:46:17,066
and suddenly, she's
palling around with Lenny Bruce
1140
00:46:17,066 --> 00:46:20,153
and opening for Shy Baldwin.
Blah, blah, blah. She's a whore.
1141
00:46:20,153 --> 00:46:21,613
And there's a picture.
1142
00:46:22,655 --> 00:46:25,450
"But suddenly,
1143
00:46:25,450 --> 00:46:27,911
the seemingly charmed
downtown darling
1144
00:46:27,911 --> 00:46:30,788
has landed
right on her pretty derriere.
1145
00:46:30,788 --> 00:46:33,291
Rumor has it
she was unceremoniously dumped
1146
00:46:33,291 --> 00:46:36,794
by the Baldwin team
right there on track six
1147
00:46:36,794 --> 00:46:39,756
at Penn Station.
They left her unemployed
1148
00:46:39,756 --> 00:46:40,924
and clutching her suitcase."
1149
00:46:40,924 --> 00:46:42,425
At least he likes my ass.
1150
00:46:42,425 --> 00:46:45,011
"I hear a similar thing happened
with Sophie Lennon.
1151
00:46:45,011 --> 00:46:46,763
Mrs. Maisel has quite the knack
1152
00:46:46,763 --> 00:46:48,056
for securing
these choice jobs..."
1153
00:46:48,056 --> 00:46:50,141
Blah, blah, blah. She's a whore.
1154
00:46:50,141 --> 00:46:52,268
"...and a better knack
for losing them.
1155
00:46:52,268 --> 00:46:55,104
What is the real story
with this giggle girl, anyway?
1156
00:46:55,104 --> 00:46:58,191
And what exactly happened
at that show at the Apollo?
1157
00:46:58,191 --> 00:47:01,444
- I'll get back to you on that one."
- Well, my work here is done.
1158
00:47:01,444 --> 00:47:03,821
- You are a sad, little man, Eugene.
- I am.
1159
00:47:03,821 --> 00:47:05,240
But I have my moments.
1160
00:47:05,240 --> 00:47:07,992
No, he doesn't.
1161
00:47:09,035 --> 00:47:11,329
Who the fuck is this guy?
1162
00:47:11,329 --> 00:47:13,665
- L. Roy Dunham?
- Don't know,
1163
00:47:13,665 --> 00:47:15,875
but he's seen The Sweet Smell
of Success one too many times.
1164
00:47:15,875 --> 00:47:17,210
You know what really sucks
about this?
1165
00:47:17,210 --> 00:47:20,171
That gig? That Apollo gig?
It went great.
1166
00:47:20,171 --> 00:47:22,257
- The crowd loved me.
- I know.
1167
00:47:22,257 --> 00:47:23,675
And they loved me
because I just went out there
1168
00:47:23,675 --> 00:47:25,885
and started talking.
I didn't have anything planned.
1169
00:47:25,885 --> 00:47:27,345
I just riffed.
1170
00:47:27,345 --> 00:47:28,471
- What's the point?
- The point is
1171
00:47:28,471 --> 00:47:29,973
that's always when I'm the best, Susie.
1172
00:47:29,973 --> 00:47:33,434
Think about it. Think
about my truly great shows.
1173
00:47:33,434 --> 00:47:35,895
Not the good, solid,
polished ones
1174
00:47:35,895 --> 00:47:37,814
but the ones that were epic.
1175
00:47:37,814 --> 00:47:39,816
You know, the first night
drunken tit-wagging show
1176
00:47:39,816 --> 00:47:42,235
- comes to mind.
- The Sophie Lennon showcase.
1177
00:47:42,235 --> 00:47:44,779
- That one still hurts.
- But epic, right?
1178
00:47:44,779 --> 00:47:47,865
The one you arranged with Lenny.
The Penny Pann takedown.
1179
00:47:47,865 --> 00:47:49,701
Ruined my marriage
and any chance at happiness,
1180
00:47:49,701 --> 00:47:51,995
- so great set.
- Great fucking set.
1181
00:47:51,995 --> 00:47:54,414
- Detroit.
- Kansas City. New Orleans.
1182
00:47:54,414 --> 00:47:56,624
- Myrtle Beach.
- And now the Apollo.
1183
00:47:56,624 --> 00:47:58,251
All those shows, one of a kind.
1184
00:47:58,251 --> 00:48:00,461
The kind of shows
that only I could do.
1185
00:48:00,461 --> 00:48:02,672
- Agreed.
- Susie.
1186
00:48:02,672 --> 00:48:05,300
- Miriam.
- You know what's great about me?
1187
00:48:05,300 --> 00:48:07,093
- Your humility?
- No.
1188
00:48:07,093 --> 00:48:08,928
It's when I'm me.
1189
00:48:08,928 --> 00:48:10,513
So, why would I wait
1190
00:48:10,513 --> 00:48:11,639
until I finally have
enough power
1191
00:48:11,639 --> 00:48:13,182
to say to them,
"I want to be me"?
1192
00:48:13,182 --> 00:48:15,727
- What if they never let me be me?
- They will.
1193
00:48:15,727 --> 00:48:18,104
I want to be me every time
I walk out on that stage.
1194
00:48:18,104 --> 00:48:19,814
- You will.
- No. Listen,
1195
00:48:19,814 --> 00:48:21,316
if I'm gonna do this, Susie,
1196
00:48:21,316 --> 00:48:24,110
if I'm gonna leave Esther
and Ethan for weeks on end,
1197
00:48:24,110 --> 00:48:25,612
miss their birthdays--
1198
00:48:25,612 --> 00:48:28,489
real and fake--
their recitals and school plays,
1199
00:48:28,489 --> 00:48:30,742
I'm not gonna do it
for a bunch of lipstick jokes
1200
00:48:30,742 --> 00:48:32,410
or bad room service jokes.
1201
00:48:32,410 --> 00:48:34,329
- Yeah, but...
- No. If I'm gonna do that,
1202
00:48:34,329 --> 00:48:37,498
I'm gonna say exactly
what's on my mind all the time.
1203
00:48:37,498 --> 00:48:41,252
Every single show,
I am gonna say something.
1204
00:48:41,252 --> 00:48:44,464
Yes. Fine.
Clearly, that is the goal.
1205
00:48:44,464 --> 00:48:46,924
But if you are gonna open
for a guy like Shy Baldwin
1206
00:48:46,924 --> 00:48:49,218
or Pat Boone
or Rosemary Clooney,
1207
00:48:49,218 --> 00:48:51,387
you may have to do
a room service joke.
1208
00:48:51,387 --> 00:48:54,307
- Then no more opening act gigs.
- What?
1209
00:48:54,307 --> 00:48:56,309
I will only do gigs
where I can say what I want.
1210
00:48:56,309 --> 00:48:57,727
- Midge...
- That's what Lenny would do.
1211
00:48:57,727 --> 00:48:59,896
That's different.
He's Lenny Bruce.
1212
00:48:59,896 --> 00:49:02,649
Well, then make me Lenny Bruce.
Make me a headliner.
1213
00:49:02,649 --> 00:49:04,817
How am I supposed to do that
if I can't even book you?
1214
00:49:04,817 --> 00:49:07,278
I don't know.
You're my manager. Manage me.
1215
00:49:07,278 --> 00:49:09,864
Miriam, I hear you. I do.
1216
00:49:09,864 --> 00:49:11,783
But you know as well as I do
1217
00:49:11,783 --> 00:49:13,951
that's not
how the business works.
1218
00:49:15,995 --> 00:49:18,206
Then let's change the business.
1219
00:49:20,708 --> 00:49:22,877
You know,
my father once said to me,
1220
00:49:22,877 --> 00:49:24,170
"If you're gonna have a voice,
1221
00:49:24,170 --> 00:49:26,255
you better be careful
what that voice says."
1222
00:49:27,632 --> 00:49:29,676
Now, he was talking
about anti-Semitic Nazis.
1223
00:49:29,676 --> 00:49:31,886
He's always talking
about anti-Semitic Nazis.
1224
00:49:31,886 --> 00:49:33,596
Two anti-Semitic Nazis
walk into a bar,
1225
00:49:33,596 --> 00:49:35,139
and one says to the other,
"Who does your taxes?"
1226
00:49:35,139 --> 00:49:38,518
But a voice... Thank you.
1227
00:49:38,518 --> 00:49:40,728
But a voice is a powerful thing.
1228
00:49:40,728 --> 00:49:42,605
It can shine a light
1229
00:49:42,605 --> 00:49:45,608
on something that is hiding
in the dark.
1230
00:49:45,608 --> 00:49:49,278
It can make a couple of guys sit
when they want to go.
1231
00:49:49,278 --> 00:49:51,280
Yeah, sit down!
1232
00:49:51,280 --> 00:49:53,241
It can change
the way people think,
1233
00:49:53,241 --> 00:49:55,576
which can change
the way people act.
1234
00:49:55,576 --> 00:49:59,706
But it can't do anything
if you keep your mouth shut.
1235
00:50:01,332 --> 00:50:03,876
Well, lesson fucking learned.
1236
00:50:03,876 --> 00:50:07,130
Thank you and good night!
1237
00:50:20,143 --> 00:50:23,980
Being good ♪
1238
00:50:25,148 --> 00:50:29,569
Isn't good enough ♪
1239
00:50:30,987 --> 00:50:34,991
Being good ♪
1240
00:50:34,991 --> 00:50:40,329
Won't be good enough ♪
1241
00:50:41,372 --> 00:50:43,166
Got to fly ♪
1242
00:50:43,166 --> 00:50:50,006
And if I fall ♪
1243
00:50:50,006 --> 00:50:55,595
♪ That's the way
it's got to be ♪
1244
00:50:55,595 --> 00:51:02,185
There's no other way for me ♪
1245
00:51:02,185 --> 00:51:05,021
{\an8}Being good ♪
1246
00:51:05,021 --> 00:51:10,193
{\an8}Just won't be good enough ♪
1247
00:51:10,193 --> 00:51:15,573
{\an8}I'll be the best ♪
1248
00:51:15,573 --> 00:51:19,202
{\an8}Or nothing ♪
1249
00:51:19,202 --> 00:51:26,167
{\an8}At all ♪♪
1250
00:51:36,552 --> 00:51:40,139
{\an8}♪ A look a-there,
here she comes ♪
1251
00:51:40,139 --> 00:51:43,559
{\an8}There comes that girl again ♪
1252
00:51:43,559 --> 00:51:46,395
{\an8}♪ Wanted to date her
since I don't know when ♪
1253
00:51:46,395 --> 00:51:49,482
{\an8}♪ But she don't notice me
when I pass ♪
1254
00:51:49,482 --> 00:51:52,485
{\an8}♪ She goes with all the guys
from outa my class ♪
1255
00:51:52,485 --> 00:51:55,905
{\an8}♪ But that can't stop me
from a-thinkin' to myself ♪
1256
00:51:55,905 --> 00:51:59,075
{\an8}♪ She's sure fine-lookin', man,
she's something else ♪
1257
00:52:04,080 --> 00:52:07,708
{\an8}♪ Hey, look a-there,
across the street ♪
1258
00:52:07,708 --> 00:52:11,087
{\an8}♪ There's a car
made just for me ♪
1259
00:52:11,087 --> 00:52:14,090
{\an8}♪ To own that car
would be a luxury ♪
1260
00:52:14,090 --> 00:52:17,093
{\an8}♪ But right now
I can't afford the gas ♪
1261
00:52:17,093 --> 00:52:20,304
{\an8}♪ A brand-new convertible
is out of my class ♪
1262
00:52:20,304 --> 00:52:23,516
{\an8}♪ But that can't stop me
from a-thinkin' to myself ♪
1263
00:52:23,516 --> 00:52:26,936
{\an8}♪ That car's fine-lookin', man,
it's something else ♪
1264
00:52:31,941 --> 00:52:35,778
{\an8}♪ Hey, look a-here,
just wait and see ♪
1265
00:52:35,778 --> 00:52:38,781
{\an8}♪ Worked hard
and saved my dough ♪
1266
00:52:38,781 --> 00:52:41,784
{\an8}♪ I'll buy that car
that I been wanting so ♪
1267
00:52:41,784 --> 00:52:44,871
{\an8}♪ Get me that girl,
and we'll go ridin' around ♪
1268
00:52:44,871 --> 00:52:47,874
{\an8}♪ We'll look real sharp
with the flight top down ♪
1269
00:52:47,874 --> 00:52:51,460
{\an8}♪ I keep right on a-dreamin'
and a-thinkin' to myself ♪
1270
00:52:51,460 --> 00:52:54,463
{\an8}♪ When it all comes true, man,
wow, that's something else ♪
1271
00:52:59,385 --> 00:53:03,180
{\an8}♪ Look a-there,
what's all this? ♪
1272
00:53:03,180 --> 00:53:06,601
{\an8}♪ Never thought
I'd do this before ♪
1273
00:53:06,601 --> 00:53:09,478
{\an8}♪ But here I am
a-knockin' on her door ♪
1274
00:53:09,478 --> 00:53:12,315
{\an8}♪ My car's out front,
and it's all mine ♪
1275
00:53:12,315 --> 00:53:15,568
{\an8}Just a '41 Ford, not a '59 ♪
1276
00:53:15,568 --> 00:53:18,738
{\an8}♪ I got that girl,
an' I'm a-thinkin' to myself ♪
1277
00:53:18,738 --> 00:53:22,325
{\an8}♪ She's sure fine-lookin', man,
wow, she's something else ♪
91264
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