All language subtitles for S00E41 - Six Days to Air The Making of South Park_eng

- Okay.

Let's do it.

- If we go down to this-
either end, see, you can get it.

Keep going. Keep going.
Keep going.

You know what I mean?
- Yeah.

- Like this, right?
- Yeah, that's good.

- So we're talking to you?
- Yeah.

- Okay.

[bluesy rock music]

♪♪

- We have an amazing
show tonight.

Oh, my god.

The creators of the legendary
animated series South Park,

Matt Stone and Trey Parker!

[cheers and applause]

- South Park's never been
Matt and I sitting there going,

"Okay, what's offensive?

What can we do
that's offensive?"

- Oh, "herro" "prease."

[gunshot]

- We just are sort of
offensive people, so-

- Red rocket.
Come on, dog. Red rocket.

Oh.

- You watched all four days
of the Democratic convention...

- On Wednesday night,
I had to watch South Park, so-

[laughter]

- Oh, this is hot scissoring.
Scissor me timbers.

- All right,
I'd like to solve the puzzle.

[bleep]

Buzz!

- Ooh.

- All the bad in society,
it's our fault.

You can blame us.

- Now how about we
do some scripture readings

from the Book of Mormon?

[all cheer]

- They have a new musical
opening on Broadway

that is getting rave reviews.

It's called The Book of Mormon.

- Been here in New York
for 2 1/2 months.

This is opening night in about,
what, an hour?

- South Park seems like
a million miles away.

- But we start into South Park
in two weeks.

We're really stupid.

- This was the longest break
we've ever had in between runs.

It's been quiet here
for the last few months.

It won't be
any longer here shortly.

- Well...

[cheers and applause]

- Knowing we have seven shows
coming up

and we don't have any ideas
for them yet-

that's typical,
but to go back to South Park

is gonna be really hard.

[cheers and applause]

- There's this documentary
being made on South Park,

so that starts shooting now.

[snaps]

- [laughs]

Let's go to the bathroom, boys.
Bathroom cam.

- Oh, I probably should,
actually.

I'll have-

- Want to get that little
mini detail for 75?

- Yeah. Yeah.
- Okay.

Just give me the keys.
I'll just give 'em to you.

What's your name?
- Trey.

- Trey, I'll take care of you-
what time you leaving today?

- 5:00 in the morning, probably.
- Okay, we'll take care of you.

- It is kind of our mission
every morning to go in

and come up
with ideas and jokes.

- Writers' room is off-limits.

I will only bother
the writers' room

if there's something
that has got to be dealt with

or answered right on the spot.

- Man, we got
to do seven episodes.

[blows raspberry]

- We never had cameras
in the writers' room.

- Yeah, I mean, it's a really-
it's kind of a safe place.

- For all the good ideas
that we get, there's, like,

100 not-so-good ones.

The Japanese tsunami,
which isn't funny at all,

but there is, like-

every-a couple days,
it's like,

a new video comes out,
'cause so many people were--

everyone has a video phone.

It--you just--
it looks--

oh, it's terrifying.

Anyway, so tsunami video?
Tsunami show?

- Not super funny.
- Real funny.

And you got to feel safe
to just go, 'What about this?"

And it's like,
people go, 'Well..."

you go, "Okay, you know,
I don't take any offense.

You didn't like my idea."

and you got to feel like--
it is kind of--

it's weirdly vulnerable.

- I've had friends
that worked at other shows,

and if you say something
that doesn't work,

they're like, "Ah, that sucks.

You suck.
You're not funny."

And these guys,
it's actually a very kind room,

and I think, like,
the worst you get is, "Okay."

- The way that they work
is definitely, like, having fun,

laughing, chasing that,

and never making it,
like, a grind.

- It seems like movie trailers
make you feel stupid these days.

"Hello, fuck you.

"Kevin James is Zookeeper.

Go see it, asshole."

- That trailer. Ugh.

- Talking monkey'?
In a m-m-movie?

- It's gonna help me
g-g-get laid?

- Kevin James is a zookeeper.
Fuck you.

He's about to get married.
Fuck you.

- I'm a squirrel.
I can't talk. Fuck you.

- Pirates of the Caribbean
Forty-Fucking-Eight.

Fuck you.

[laughter]

- You'll notice that a lot
of the people that work here,

they'll be going,
walking by back and forth,

and they're always kind of-

'cause they know, the more
we're laughing in there,

the less hours they probably
have to work in here.

- They walk by,
there's no laughing,

and Trey's doing this
and I'm pulling out my hair-

- And it's 3:00
in the afternoon,

and we should be done.

- "Oh, god, we're gonna be here
fucking late today.

These guys can't
think of anything."

You know what's getting a lot
of traction in the last, like,

maybe six months
is how fucked-up the NCAA is

and how fucked-up it is
that players don't get paid.

They're playing on ABC on Sunday
in front of, like,

20 million people,

and they can't afford
to fly their mom to the game.

You look in the crowd,
and everybody's white.

All the athletic directors,
everybody's white.

All the players are black.

Or most of them are--
you know, 90% of them are black.

And you're like, "Dude,
you're selling their image,

"like, on video.

You're signing
video game deals."

- When I first met him,
we had just seen

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom
of the Crystal Skull.

Matt, like, really hated it,

and he was kind of going off
about it,

and he was like,
"it was like a rape."

He just kept saying, like,
"The movie was like a rape."

And then--
and while he's saying this,

like, Trey's just kind of,
like, pacing around,

and then Trey just goes,

"Okay so the boys
are coming out of Kingdom"--

And then it was just--
it just started--it became--

I was like, "Oh, my god.
This is becoming an episode."

- Why are they doing this?

- They're just taking
Indiana Jones, and they're-

they're raping him!

- I can't watch!

Let's get out of here, Kyle.

- Why would Spielberg
and Lucas do this?

- Come on! Let's go!

- Why are they doing this?

- Just run!

- So then what if Cartman
starts a lucrative business

of getting crack babies
to play basketball?

[laughter]

And he videotapes
these crack babies-

it becomes really big,

but he doesn't pay
the crack babies anything.

- Yeah.

- Stan's mom volunteers
at the hospital

where she holds crack babies,

and Cartman sees a really great
investment opportunity.

"The most successful
businesses in America

"don't pay their labor.

Don't you understand, Kyle?"
- "It's slave labor."

- "I see; you're gonna represent
the crack babies against me."

"How much money
are they paying you, Kyle?"

"No, I'm doing it pro bono."
"What?

"You're doing it just
to get a fucking boner?

"You know, it'd be fine--
if you were doing it for money,

"I'd understand,
but just to get a boner, Kyle?

Jesus Christ."

[laughter]

- Just to get a boner.

[indistinct conversation]

- There's on a show on
this Wednesday.

We don't even know what it is,
and, like, even though

that's the way
we've always done it,

there's this little thing going,
"Oh, you're screwed.

You're screwed."

And then I tried to get
a diversion

and play a little Xbox
last night,

and a big ad for South Park
came up on the Xbox.

You know, "Starting Wednesday."

And I was just like, "Oh, shit.

Just can't get away from it."

Let's do this.

Let's go till 11:30
trying to come up

with something completely new.

Then from 11:30 to 12:30,
we'll pick which of these shows

we're gonna do.

Then we'll come up
with a scene for that,

and then we'll be done.

- A whole nother show.
Hmm.

- Last night,
I went onto iTunes,

and that thing came up again
that's like,

"Your iTunes is out of date,"

you know,
which happens every time.

"God damn it.
Here it goes again.

I got to download another
version of fucking iTunes."

How many times
have I hit "Agree" to that,

and I've never even read
one line of it?

It's like, "Kyle's in trouble.
We got to help."

he's like, "Fuck Kyle.
I don't care."

it's like, "Dude, he agreed

to the iTunes terms
and conditions."

Like, "Oh, my god.
Get him inside."

[laughter]

- The joke is that everyone
always reads that

except for Kyle.

Even Butters
is sitting with him.

"Whoa, you-well, how can you
agree to something

"you didn't read, Kyle?

Never, ever, ever click
something without reading it."

- "I said 'Disagree."'

Because then Stan even
showing up at Cartman's house

going, "We got to hide Stan."

And then Cartman's like, "Why?"

And it's like,
"He agreed to the fucking iTunes

terms and conditions."

"What?"

- "God damn it."
- "Did he read it?"

I happened to be downloading
the new version of iTunes

for the 400th time,
and was, like,

clicking on that "Agree" thing.

I'm like, "Oh, you know,
I wonder if there's anything

really messed-up in here
that I'm agreeing to."

then we had this parody
of Human Centipede

that went into it.

And then you start to-
"Oh, wait,

this is actually starting
to be something."

[laughter]

- Just draw a little Kyle hat
on that second one.

There's just Kyle in the middle
just getting fucking poop.

- [laughing]

[laughter]

- Let's just do
a profile shot first,

just sort of what it really
looks like in Human Centipede.

Let's see that as the side shot,
and then let's also see it

basically, like,
Japanese guy head-on with Kyle

kind of peeking out back here

and then her back here,

if we decide we're gonna
go that route,

we'll probably build
a walk cycle for it.

You know, sort of--

- [laughs]

[bluesy rock music]

♪♪

- So I got them Corel'ing
the real version.

- Whenever Cartman comes in,
just--

it doesn't matter
what's going on in the story.

He just has to have brought
the front guy a huge cappuccino

with six extra shots.

- He just brings him
a huge coffee.

- I've learned that men
really super-

like, they dig poo.

It's like,
the shit goes in here,

out the fucking ass
into this mouth.

In this fucking ass,
up this mouth,

up into a cloud.

- [laughs]

Down in the mouth,

out the fucking ass
of this person.

[laughter]

"Just upload all your stuff
to the cloud

and then down
into your fucking asshole."

- "Go to his fucking mouth
and to his ass."

- The Japanese man
could have to talk

for the whole centipede,
you know?

It's like, "What do you want
to do, Kyle?"

[muffled speech]

"He said he want to"-
you know?

- "Just whisper
into my asshole."

- [laughing hysterically]

- You know, generally, like,
it's a good idea

if everyone in the room
is laughing

and then Anne Garefino
is kind of looking

a little bit like,
"Hmm, really? We're doing that?"

And we're like, "Oh, yeah, Anne.
We're gonna do that."

[laughs]

- When they shit
into each other's mouths,

we're not gonna see feces
in the iteration

that I have seen so far,

but I don't know what's
gonna happen at the end yet.

We haven't written the end.

Maybe. Yes.

Maybe we see them being
sewn together.

Yeah.

Thanks.
Happy Easter to you too.

- Oh, I like these pastels.

- "More violent on the shake."

Just got to match Kyle's head
to the butt.

[laughs]

And then I got to do the same
thing to his butt and her head.

- In this building, you not only
have to be good and diverse,

but you also have to be fast,

'cause if it takes you four days
to get something done,

you can't really contribute.

When push comes to shove
and we're in production,

people just have to be able
to turn stuff around.

- Most studios
have a storyboard department,

and all they do is storyboard.

Then you'll have
a character design department,

and all they do
is character design,

and then they'll have
a background design department,

and they'll all get a couple
of days or three days or so

to at least do their job.

Everybody in here does all that,

and in 1/10 of the time
of a normal studio.

- Usually, Simpsons
and Family Guy,

those shows take,
like, eight to ten months,

and we're doing it,
you know, six days.

No one does an animated show
like this.

- On Thursday, we get one scene.

We jam it through
the storyboard departments.

We get the boards drawn.

We get editorial to build
that initial animatic.

The guys will go in
and record that scene.

- Trey's the quarterback.

We're kind of like
the offensive line.

If Trey all of a sudden wants
to do an homage to Heavy Metal,

the animated movie...

- Appease the gods by lathering
her boobs with soapy suds.

- [muffled] Okay.

- We have to figure out
how to do that.

If he wants to do guys
bouncing on their nut sacs...

- I'm stoned off my balls.

- It's our job to figure out
how it works.

But it all starts and ends
with Trey and Matt.

- [laughs]

Oh!

So sorry, Kyle,
but I am starving.

Which would you rather I eat?

Should I eat cuttlefish
and asparagus

or the vanilla paste?

- [muffled speech]

- Cuttlefish and asparagus?

- [muffled speech]

- Very well.
I will eat the cuttlefish.

[stifled laughter]

- You gonna do eating sounds?
- Oh, yeah.

[chomping sounds]

- [muffled scream]

- That cuttlefish and-

[laughs]

- I don't know why
that's so funny.

It's so stupid.

- That cuttlefish and asparagus
is not sitting well.

[laughter]

Oh, no!

Cuttlefish-

[laughter]

Cuttlefish is about
to come out of my asshole!

- [muffled screams]

- Oh, here it comes.
Oh, it's going to be a lot.

[stifled laughter]

Hold on, Kyle.
I believe in you!

[sputtering]

- [laughs]

- Oh, cuttlefish is about
to come out of my asshole!

- [muffled screaming]

[laughter]

[sputtering]

- It's just so funny
that Matt and I

are in our 40s now,
and we're still-

like, when that Japanese guy
shits in Kyle's mouth

and Kyle shits
in the lady's mouth,

it makes us laugh
so goddamn hard,

and I know it doesn't-

there's, like,
a lot of people out there

that don't laugh at that shit
as hard as we do.

But it's just so satisfying
for me,

especially after going
from Book of Mormon

and all the--you know,
the Broadway and the accolades

and all this, like--
you know, and it was great.

I'm super proud of that,
but it's just so funny

to come back here
and just do a Japanese guy

shitting in Kyle's mouth,
'cause it just-

it's just back to our roots,
you know?

- Hold on, Kyle!
I believe in you!

- Yeah, just keep him
kind of moving and shaking.

So he's like, "Oh, god.
It's gonna be a lot.

Here it comes! Hold on, Kyle!
I believe in you!"

- [muffled screaming]

- Even though
we're a partnership--

and I really do feel that way,

that we each bring kind of,
like, something different

to the table, and it's why
it's made us survive and stuff-

the way that the stories,

either in South Park
or the movies,

are expressed
is completely through Trey.

Like, Trey's the chef.

- Hey, you see my iPad, Token?

Funny, you don't seem
to have one.

I thought your family was rich!

Na-na-na!
Blah-blah-blah-blah!

Tom Saltzman says you
just glued a piece of glass

to an iPad cover
and you're faking it.

- Flatter on the-
"Tom Saltzman says

"you just glued a piece of glass

to an iPad cover
and you're faking it."

- So keep that-okay.
- Yeah.

- Tom Saltzman says you just
glued a piece of glass

to an iPad cover
and you're faking it.

- Yeah, that's a good one.

- When we first started
getting famous and stuff,

"Oh, yeah, Matt and Trey,
and Trey's the director.

'Well, Matt"-

And I got calls for, like-
"Hey, you can"-

I mean, I got offers
to direct studio comedies,

the crap shit that I probably
didn't want to do anyway,

but, you know, in my head,
I was just like,

"You really don't know
what you're doing."

Like, don't-
you know what I mean?

Like, yeah, maybe I could go
fool people for a little bit,

and maybe I might get lucky here
or there with a scene or two,

or I might pull off
a little bit,

but it's not in my DNA.

I don't have
that competing skill set,

so whatever I've got
channels through him.

- Like, it's just like
any time that you get a band,

you can sit there and be like,

"Okay, well,
it's all Eddie Van Halen."

But as soon
as David Lee Roth leaves,

you're like,
"Fuck that band."

You know what I mean?

And it's like-you know,
and Eddie can sit there and say,

'Well, I write everything,"
and it's like,

"Yeah, but you're not Van Halen
without David Lee Roth."

- Bring in Matt.

- Where I can get in
and be tough

is exactly where Trey's not,

and where he can be tough
is exactly where I'm not.

That's helped us in the business
of the whole thing too.

- Are we talking to each other?

- You can talk to each other...
- That'd be really weird.

You know, you won't get
in an argument with Trey.

Trey's not gonna argue with you
about something,

and I'll argue about your
fucking everything all the time.

- Yeah,
it's not gonna feel right.

I'll tell you.

Us talking to each other
is not-

we don't talk to each other
like that.

You know what I mean?

I'm not trying to throw
a wrench in your thing.

If you want us to look in
the camera and answer questions,

we can do that.

So this is the camera-
which one's the camera?

- The middle.
- The middle one. Okay.

- Trey and Matt's the band,

and no matter who does what
or whatever, that's the band.

We're trying to find out exactly
what Kyle agreed to.

- The-there can't be anything
in that agreement that allows

a company to do what
they're talking about to Kyle.

- Oh, nope.
Here it is right here.

"By clicking 'Agree,' you're
also acknowledging that Apple

"may sew your mouth
to the butthole

of another iTunes user."

[laughter]

Really broke.

- They broke at a bar,
and so I did this little thing

with a paper clip,
and see how it's all swirly'?

People think
it's a fashion statement.

- I was renting
a studio apartment,

and I had a little futon
on the floor, and Matt slept-

would kind of get all
his dirty clothes together

at the end of the day
and sleep on those.

- Any money we had was to live
or get our own thing going.

We created this thing called
The Spirit of Christmas on VHS.

People started copying
and copying,

and that became this,
like, viral video,

but before the internet.

- It's crazy now to look back
at Spirit of Christmas.

You're like, 'What the fuck
is that piece of shit?"

It's crazy.
- It's so shitty.

- Tomorrow is my birthday,
yet all is not right.

- Your birthday is on Christmas?
That sucks, dude.

- I must find a place called
"the mall."

- Well, we can take you
to the mall, Jesus.

- Yeah, it's over this way.

- We'd have people call us
and say, "Dude,

you got to see this thing;
I'm gonna send you this thing."

And we're like, "That's ours."

And then we had people-

'cause we didn't
put our names on it.

That was another thing
that drove people nuts.

We found out
people were getting jobs

saying that they did it.

Dudes were
getting directing jobs,

commercial jobs, and we just,
like, had no job-

- They're like, 'We got the guys
that made Spirit of Christmas."

And we're like, 'We made fucking
Spirit of Christmas."

They're like, "Yeah, yeah."

We pitched it to Fox,
and we actually made

these big things
with construction paper on 'em,

and I was so proud of it.

It was like a school project.

The woman at fox at the time
was like, "Yeah, no.

"You know, what people want
to see in animation is,

"they don't want to see kids.

They want to see families."

And we're like, 'Well, we can
get into the family.

"You know, we've got-

each boy could have
their family, and that's"-

And she was like, "No, yeah,
it's just not gonna work."

- We went to Comedy Central
with it.

- Music from Primus opens
South Park, and from there,

four eight-year-old boys

and other crudely drawn
characters will rock your world.

- Oh, my god!
They killed Kenny!

- You bastard! -

- The highest-rated
television show on cable

for more than a month-

- You go to hell!
You go to hell and you die!

- South Park on Comedy Central,

an instant cult hit
and cultural icon.

- Screw you guys.
I'm going home.

- Good, you deserve to die,
you little bastard!

- Hi, my name is Leslie.

I'll be your genius.

[slow-motion speech]

- This is all for the pilot.

So they'd put this mouth on,
and then they'd shoot, you know,

two frames of film, and then
they would take that mouth off,

and then, like,
they would dab it like that.

That's how sometimes they'd
get coffee on the teeth.

It took the guys

two to three hours
to do one shot,

and it took pretty much
all summer to do the pilot.

- [meows]
- No, kitty.

This is my pot pie.
- [meows]

- No, kitty. You bad kitty-
- [meows]

- No, kitty, it's my pot pie!
- [hisses]

- Mom!

- This is where Cartman gets
the anal probe,

and it's when that bright blue
light comes in.

You know, he's laying
in his bed right here.

It's mostly Treys style
from high school and drawing.

The style comes from his passion
of Monty Python

and the style that Terry Gilliam
did in Monty Python.

You know, it was still animated,

but you didn't have
to draw every frame.

We can just draw our characters,
and some of the comedy

comes from the crudeness
of the animation.

- Wow, this is great.

Boy, those look shitty.

- Like, this is our original
panning shot for the cafeteria.

- Yeah, so the frame would
be like that, you know,

so we'd pull the camera way in.

- Depending on what
was taped down

and what wasn't taped down
on the animation side of it,

that would bring
these characters to life.

Like, 'cause as you're,
you know, changing the mouths

or putting on different eyes,

your character would have
a slightly different bump

and a little jiggle to it.

- It's still
stop-motion animation.

It's still someone moving
Cartman over and going,

"Key frame."

It's still just frame by frame

and a bunch of really talented
people looking at every piece

of visual art
and doing it really fast.

- Oh, what should I do
on my iPad next?

- So instead of coming
from back here,

start him here, side view.

And he's like,
"Kyle, what should I do next?"

And he's still doing his thing.

"Kyle, wow,
what should I do next?

"Oh, man.
Should I email some friends?

Or maybe I should buy
some apps."

Then he turns
and then goes this way.

So he'll have a little bit
of front view where he's like...

[mumbling]

"Oh, wow.
This is totally awesome."

Tap, tap, tap-

- There a season where you made
the decision, like,

'We're gonna start
turning it over in a week?"

- No, it just started happening

where we would do it
in two weeks.

And then we would do it in-
"Oh, my god.

'We just did a show in ten days.

I can't believe-
that was crazy."

And then it was like,
"Oh, my god, seven days."

And then it was like,
"Oh, my god, we just did it."

And then it just turned into,
like, we just do a show a week,

and it just kind of got there.

Technology got to the place
so we could do that too.

15 years ago, we were using
$30,000 desktop boxes

that were really specialized,

and even they were, like,
creeping slow compared to now.

We just have Macs off the shelf.

So basically,

the show can keep up
with as fast as we can go.

- [laughs]

- Time to kick off the road
to the 2011 Tony Awards,

Broadway's biggest
and brightest night.

The Book of Mormon leads
all shows this year

with 14 nominations.

- So happy for you, Trey.
- Yeah, it's good.

- Congratulations.
- It's good.

- Celebrate by working all day.

Yay, fun.

[bluesy rock music]

♪♪

- I was thinking the chick
on the back could be Lady Gaga,

'cause then you could put
her in, like, a sweet costume.

- She's the one to agreed to it
on purpose,

'cause this is her new-
it's her new lipstick.

- Kirstie Alley.
That's pretty funny, right?

We're gonna make it an actress,
right?

- Yeah, I was thinking of
making it some actress, like...

- They've said "fuck you"
to every celebrity pretty much,

which they were doing
before the show too.

They would fart
on celebrities at parties,

and now they do it on the air,
and the celebrity smells it.

- Mr. Cruise, you can't just
stay in the closet, all right?

You need to come out.

- What's going on?

- Tom Cruise won't
come out of the closet.

- Paris Hilton is making
an appearance at the mall.

- [retching]

- You know, at SNL, it's like,

"Well, we might want
that person to host.

Do we want
to pick on that person?"

Or, "That person is already
mad at us because of"-

You know what I mean?
There's all political reasons.

- Get in there and see
if you can disarm the snuke

in Ms. Clinton's snatch.

- All right,
I'm nearing her snizz now.

- What they want to do
in being funny is just,

like, that's it, you know.

Like, that's the priority.

That's like-they don't worry
about anything else.

- Ah, my nipples, they hurt!

They hurt when I twist them.

- Oprah's vagina has killed
a police officer

and taken
several people hostage.

- [mumbling indistinctly]

- Ms. Lopez, we're dropping
you from the label.

- Oh, no, you didn't.

- Mostly, it's just 'cause
that's their personalities,

to be like, "Fuck everybody,"
360 degrees.

- Trey got nominated
for Blame Canada,

and so I think I went
as your date, right?

So it was like, 'Well, you can
go with Trey's as a plus one,"

and he didn't have a girlfriend
at the time,

and he was like,
"You can go as my date."

And I was like,
"Oh, that's funny."

So then it was like,
'Well, wouldn't it be funny

"if I shaved my legs
and dressed up in a fancy dress

"and tried to pass myself off
as some weird-looking,

"tall, European-

Eastern European model
or something?"

- We talked about, like,
big duck outfits,

and we're like,
'Well, if we go in

"with big duck costumes,
they're not gonna-

"then they have a reason
to not let us in,

"but if we're wearing
what other people are wearing,

then they really can't say,
'You can't come in."'

- Friend of ours
had sugar cubes with LSD.

- That's so crazy now
to think, like-

- That's so nuts.

- The whole idea-
I mean, even to just go,

"Okay, you're gonna go
to the Oscars-

take acid and go to the Oscars."

I'd be like, "No, dude,
I'm not doing that,

'cause I don't know what
I'm gonna end up doing."

That'd even be too scary.

- They have all these streets
blocked off,

'cause you have to go through
the biggest limo line

in the world to get dropped off.

- And it was like,
we finally got up to the front,

and we were both,
I think, going, "Oh, shit."

- If you've taken acid,

you know that one
of the trippiest parts

of when you're on any
psychedelics is transitioning,

when you go inside to outside
or outside to inside.

You know, like, that,

"Oh, we're in
a different space."

I will never forget the moment
getting out of the limo,

and there was, like,
60,000 fucking people

and every camera
in the Western hemisphere there,

and it was like, "Let's go!"

[psychedelic rock music]

♪♪

- Right now, we're gonna
go downstairs to-

kind of simple
and kind of elegant?

I don't know.
- Doubt it.

- Tell us.

- Okay, talk about
a fashion statement.

Now, two of you are nominated
for best song, Blame Canada.

- Matt's not.
- I'm not.

- We said, 'We can't say
anything about them."

- Nothing about the dresses.
- No matter what they ask us.

- So everyone would go,
"Guys, what about the dresses?

Why the dresses?"

And we'd go,
"Magical night tonight.

Just all the stars are out."

- Is that why you're
in the dress?

- It's just such a magical
evening, and everyone-

It's just,
everyone looks so spectacular.

You know, we just wanted to be
a part of it all.

- It's a night of magic.

- Come on.

- Only thing we could have done
a little bit better is,

we could have put powdered sugar
all over our noses.

[laughs]

Just to have been totally like,
"Fuck you."

- I also remember, actually,
then having to sit there

in the actual Oscars, and you're
coming down off the acid.

So you're simultaneously
coming down,

and you're having to now
sit through the Oscars,

which fucking suck.

- There were people there
that were like,

"Dude, this is my big night.
Fuck you."

[laughs]

That was
the funniest thing to us.

We're like, "Really?

"Like, this is fucking bullshit.

It's Hollywood.
Like, let's rock, you know?"

But we don't have
any friends anymore.

I wonder why.

[laughter]

- I think that maybe now
what we should do

is fill in all of the blanks.

We need-
we have to fill in.

- We are in danger of doing
our typical first show thing

where we've just got
way too many ingredients.

We haven't introduced the idea
of apps at all or anything,

and that's why whatever
this thing is at the end

is gonna have to be
so fucking fast.

I'm just worried about time.

- It should be one of those
things that's about two things.

You know what I mean?

And not one of our
whole other ideas,

but, like, one of the other
character's storylines.

- I just feel like the Cartman
being pissed off

about not getting his thing-

- Like, him going home and
screaming at his mom, saying,

"You fucked me, 'cause now all
the kids think I have an iPad,

and I've got to show up
tomorrow with nothing."

[laughter]

- "Because everyone thinks
I have an iPad.

"'Cause I told them
'cause I don't have one.

That's how you fucked me."

- "'Cause you didn't
fucking get me one!"

[laughter]

She's like,
'Well, we can get you something,

"but it's gonna be
your birthday present,

you know, for next month."

and he's like, "That's-okay."

Then they're at best buy,
and he's all happy.

And he goes over-

- Okay, wi-fi plus 3g, 64-gig.

This one! This one!

- Oh, sweetie, $900?

- And she's like,
'Well, no, Cartman.

Let's get these, 'cause"-

"Toshiba Handibook?
Fuck you, Mom."

[laughter]

And he gets all-

"it's $200, and I'm willing
to get you one."

He's like, 'Why don't you
just wear a condom

if you're gonna fuck me?"

- You want to fuck me, Mom?
Just say so.

Go ahead. Here.

Huh? Go ahead, Mom.
Fuck me.

Fuck me right here
in the Best Buy.

- And it just cuts to the car,
and he's crying.

[sobbing]

"I'm sorry."

- [sobbing]

- "Oh, does 'fuck'
mean something naughty?"

- "I'm just a little boy."
- [laughs]

- Why did you go outside
to a police officer and say,

"Help, help, my mom is trying
to fuck me"?

[sniffling]

Oh, wait, I get it now.

The F-word is a no-no word,

and I shouldn't say it
around other people.

I'm sorry, Mama.

If you're really sorry,

then you'll understand
why you aren't getting anything.

[sniffling]

Well, now, that doesn't really
have any logical sense, Mommy,

because I'm already
being punished

by not getting the iPad, Mama.

Oh, wait, I get it now.

The F-word is a no-no word.

[sped-up audio]
Oh, wait, I get it now.

The F-word is a no-no word,

and I shouldn't say it
around other people.

I'm sorry, Mama.

[normal speed audio]
If you're really sorry,

then you'll understand why
you aren't getting anything.

- This place is built
around them being

a completely
self-sufficient operation.

There aren't shows
that have been 220 episodes

of the same people writing it,
directing it,

doing all the voices,

watching every shot,
every frame,

and they also preserve
that outsider status.

Instinctively, I think
that helps you to be funniest

to not have an allegiance
to any organization or whatever.

I think that's
one of the reasons why...

[farting sound]

It's taking so long to do.

I think someone just farted
into the PA system.

And so I guess there's
a good chance that was Trey,

but I don't know.

- So it's Monday at, what?
6:10 p.m..

I'm pretty scared right now,
'cause I'm up to 28 pages,

and I still have one,
two, three, four, five scenes

still to write, and so-

and each scene's
about a minute long usually,

so this is gonna end up
being about a 40-page script,

I think, which just means
it just becomes brutal,

because you have to go back in
tomorrow and start-

as you're coming up
with new stuff,

then you've got to start
taking scenes that are there

and figuring out, "Okay, how can
we make this same thing happen

in half the time
and rewrite it?"

And I sort of always call it
the rule of replacing "ands"

with either "buts"
or "therefores,"

and so it's always like,
"This happens,

and then this happens,
and then this happens."

Whenever I can go back in
the writing and change that to,

"This happens.

Therefore, this happens,
but this happens"-

You know, whenever
you can replace your "ands"

with "buts" or "therefores,"
it makes for better writing.

- The only note I have
on this week's show is "pussy"

and "faggot" and "shit."

So do you want to bleep it,
push it, have me ask standards?

What do you think?

- I think we should try
to see if we can get "pussy"

and lose "faggot."

- Okay.
I'll see what I can do.

- "Faggot" is not funny.
"Pussy"-

- [laughs]

All right.

- [laughs]

It's so fucking ridiculous,

but that actually
is the way we do things.

[laughs]

- Now, the whole
Cartman through-story in this

is about Cartman
getting screwed.

He gets screwed by his mother,
by Dr. Phil, by everybody,

and finally, at the end,
he gets screwed by god.

- I need my ass lubed up
if you're gonna fuck me, God!

Or how about you just moisten my
ass with your tongue first, huh?

How's that, God?

Could lick my butthole
before you fuck me next time?

[thunder crashing]

[laughter]

[sobbing]

- Standards said, "Maybe not.

"You can keep that line,
but you just got to be

a little less explicit
about explaining what that is."

So I'm just kind of waiting
for Trey to rewrite it,

and then I have to send it
in again.

[laughs]

- Do you think you
could have done this episode-

like, if this was season two,
do you think that-

- No. No.

This show wouldn't-no.

Like, go look at season two
or season one, and it's so tame.

It's like Yo Gabba Gabba!
by comparison to what we do now.

- Go home, you little dildo.

- Dude, don't call my brother
a dildo.

- What's a dildo?

- We do shit now on the show
that we could have never done

in the second season.

[elephant trumpeting]

- Ah, yes.

- Dad?

- Randy!

- Oh, there was a ghost.

There's ectoplasm.

- We're always surprised
too, by-

sometimes in a week, we're like,
"Dude, could we really do this?"

- Just like most women
out there,

I've gotten
into queefing lately.

There's a lot of fun
and interesting ways

we can decorate our queefs

and just make them more dynamic
for the holidays.

What we're gonna do is just
cut out some paper, like this.

You can cut out little stars
or little moon shapes.

And then jam those up.

And then I've got
some simple little sparkles

from the hobby store.

[farting sound]

See how pretty that was?

- "Like, okay.
I guess we're gonna do this.

We'll see what happens."

And then nothing happens,
and everyone's like,

"Yeah, that's just South Park.
Anyway"-

And, like, that's just sort of-
and it's just because, you know,

the way that South Park was
sort of brought into the world

and the way it all started,

even in its very first season
and everything.

That's just what it is,
and so it's-

for anyone to now-
and especially 15 years later,

for anyone to go up and go,

"Did you see this thing
on South Park?

That was really offensive."

Someone's gonna be like,
"Dude, shut up.

It's South Park."

I hope that shit's
still funny bleeped.

- Like what?

- All that shit about "fuck me"
and "fuck me" and-

The fucking animatic's
hysterical, the Dr. Phil thing.

- Eric, you say
that your mom fucks you?

- Yes, she fucks me so hard.

She fucked me on Christmas.
She fucked me on my birthday.

[all gasping]

You know, Mom, the least you
could do is kiss me first.

- If I was gonna fuck my son,
I'd kiss him first.

- Got this massive Death Star
that I haven't even taken out

of the box yet,
'cause it's gonna be a beast.

Sometimes to get my brain
working a different way,

I'll just sit there and put
Legos together, 'cause it just-

you got an instruction book,
and you just sit there,

and you do exactly what
something else tells you to do

instead of you having
to tell everybody what to do.

And it's just therapeutic.

But I did that one last run.

And actually,
you can turn it on.

It actually walks.

It's pretty sweet.

McDonald's.

- I got it.

- Chicken nuggets,

and always with sweet and sour
or hot mustard.

- Big Mac?
- Yeah.

- And how does McDonald's
affect your creativity?

- It doesn't.

I just makes me happy for, like,
five minutes, 'cause I get-

I hate writing so much,
'cause the writing part of it

is actually so, like,
lonely and sad, you know,

'cause it's just-
there's that thing.

I know everyone's
waiting for me to, like,

get it done, and, like...

and just that little battle
of fighting over lines

and, like, trying to figure out
what the best way

to say certain things are,

so I just hate it so much
that a little bit-

it's just a little sunshine.

- No, he's not.

I'll find him.
Okay.

The search for Trey.

[whistling]

[tense music]

♪♪

- So what's going on
with this show?

- [laughs]

What I'm hearing is, is that
there's a bunch to write,

so I anticipate
that we'll go real long hours.

- So we need some
pretty significant cuts.

- Yeah.
- Okay.

- Almost every week
on Sunday or Monday,

I'm pretty bummed out.

I'm pretty much just like,
"Ugh,"

and then I kind of get
a little better on Tuesday,

maybe a little bummed out,

and then Trey gets
really bummed out on Tuesday.

We kind of hit our lulls
or whatever,

but I'm always like, Sunday,
Monday, I'm like, "Oh, my god.

This-the show,
this thing sucks."

- Terrible.

I'm embarrassed for putting
this piece of shit on the air.

A lot of funny stuffs
just gonna have to get cut out.

You just can't have a show

where A to B
doesn't make any sense.

And I'm bummed, 'cause I know,

based on what I've handed over
and everything,

it's not gonna be
a 5:00 a.m. day.

It's gonna be a 9:00,
10:00 a.m. day.

Beginning of act two is that;
then we come back,

and that's when it's,

"Okay, the geniuses
are gonna see us now."

And then, act three,

we just start with the unveiling
of the thing.

And then we go to,
they're doing the bubble thing,

and Gerald flips out,
joins Apple.

We're back, and that's it.

- That's great.

Yeah, that actually works.

- Hey, script's here, guys.
Hey.

- Oh, thanks, Rick.

- To keep the action balanced
over here, she's back here.

[indistinct chatter]

- Yeah, right now, we just got-
I just dropped in the audio.

We're pulling the storyboards.

- I was in a hurry, you see,

and I didn't know
what I was agreeing to.

- I can't even read "Engrish."

- See-l want to redo
these lines all wild.

Do it wild.
I just want to get 'em again.

- I just clicked "Agree."

I-I didn't read it.

I was in a hurry, you see,

and I-I-I didn't know
what I was agreeing to.

- Yeah. That's good.
- Great.

- It's okay if he starts out...

- Well, no, that doesn't really
have any logical sense, Mommy,

because I'm already
being punished

by not getting the iPad.

Mama.

Please, can we just go back
and get the Toshiba Handibook?

" No!

- Well, then can we at least
pull up here

and get some dinner?

'Cause I like
to be wined and dined

after I've been fucked!

- [chuckles]

- Come on.

We'll get you separated,
little boy.

Guess you won't be eating
Japanese food for a while, huh?

[chuckles]

- Oh, no, don't make me "raff."
Don't make me "raff."

- I always feel like,

'Wow, I wish I had another day
with this show."

That's the reason that there's
so many episodes of South Park

we're able to get done,

is 'cause there just
is a deadline,

and you can't keep going,
'cause there would be

so many shows that I'm like,

"No, no, it's not ready yet.
Not ready yet."

And I would have spent
four weeks on one show.

All you do is start
second-guessing yourself

and rewriting stuff,
and it gets over-thought,

and it would have been
5% better.

- Why did you do this
to me, god?

Next time you're gonna
get my hopes up,

could you please take me
to a grease monkey?

'Cause I like to get lubed up
before I get fucked!

[thunder crashing]

[sobbing]

[laughter]

- The draft is ready,
but that's the only part.

[applause]

- Good job.

Okay, good job, you guys.
Excellent

- Thank you.

- Do this to the camera.
- For the camera.

[both laugh]

- I think it's a good episode.

It's really twisted,
but Trey can't see it that way.

Trey won't be able to see it
that way today.

Wednesday morning,
after finishing an episode,

he never likes it.

- [laughs]

- First shows usually kill us,
kill us, and this one did,

and that will have
a ripple effect.

I mean, that's good.

- The first couple episodes,

we actually delivered
a couple days early.

We don't do that anymore.

[laughs]

- It was a little bit sloppy
and reckless,

but sometimes, especially after
something like Book of Mormon,

we just got to get back
in that way,

and hopefully the shows will get
a little tighter as we go.

[upbeat rock music]

♪♪

- Got 18 minutes
to have this tape feeding

to New York so that
they can begin roll.

♪♪

- Excellent. Great.

♪♪

- [laughing]

[bleep] [bleep]

[laughter]

[bleep]

[bleep] [bleep]

- All right.
See you again next week.

All right, you guys.
Thank you.

One down.
Six to go.

♪♪

- So they got this feller
down at the bowling alley.

He gets up on the stage
and shits his britches.

[laughter]

- What fer?

[laughter]

- I don't know.

[laughter]

But he gets up there
and strums a guitar

and then just starts
loading his britches up

like it's going out of style.

[laughter]