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Happy Valentine's Day
2
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to all my loves.
3
00:00:24,765 --> 00:00:26,497
Smooches.
Everyone gets a smooch.
4
00:00:27,798 --> 00:00:28,931
Oh, give Gene mine.
5
00:00:28,932 --> 00:00:30,130
I'll take it.
6
00:00:31,564 --> 00:00:33,064
I hope a certain wife
is ready to be romanced.
7
00:00:33,065 --> 00:00:34,963
Huh?
Oh.
8
00:00:34,964 --> 00:00:36,063
Oh, Bobby.
9
00:00:36,064 --> 00:00:37,063
A pancake
10
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shaped like a heart.
11
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Wow.
12
00:00:39,197 --> 00:00:40,196
We got the rejects.
13
00:00:40,197 --> 00:00:41,662
Mine looks like a moustache.
14
00:00:41,663 --> 00:00:43,098
Pancake rides, five cents.
15
00:00:43,099 --> 00:00:45,797
I can't see what mine looks
like, but it feels
16
00:00:45,798 --> 00:00:46,898
ear-shaped maybe?
17
00:00:46,899 --> 00:00:48,930
What you doing under
the table, you silly?
18
00:00:48,931 --> 00:00:52,197
Hiding. I-I mean I'm not here
so I can't go to school.
19
00:00:52,198 --> 00:00:55,030
But it's Valentine's Day.
You love Valentine's Day.
20
00:00:55,031 --> 00:00:58,197
Until the St. Valentine's Day
disaster last year. What?
21
00:00:58,198 --> 00:01:00,763
I'm talking about
Jimmy Jr.'s Valentine card.
22
00:01:00,764 --> 00:01:03,164
Here, Tina.
23
00:01:07,498 --> 00:01:08,663
"From"?
24
00:01:08,664 --> 00:01:10,797
No...!
25
00:01:10,798 --> 00:01:13,263
My heart was murdered
by the word "from."
26
00:01:13,264 --> 00:01:14,698
No one says "I from you."
27
00:01:14,699 --> 00:01:16,196
I'm not going to school today.
28
00:01:16,197 --> 00:01:17,931
If Tina's not going, I'm not going.
29
00:01:17,932 --> 00:01:18,997
Scoot over.
30
00:01:18,998 --> 00:01:20,029
Yeah, we made a pact.
31
00:01:20,030 --> 00:01:21,496
Everybody out from under there.
32
00:01:21,497 --> 00:01:22,529
You're all going to school.
33
00:01:22,530 --> 00:01:23,696
No.
Yes.
34
00:01:23,697 --> 00:01:25,264
There's a lot of learning
to do down here.
35
00:01:25,265 --> 00:01:26,630
What's under there?
36
00:01:26,631 --> 00:01:27,931
Wouldn't you like to know?
37
00:01:27,932 --> 00:01:29,931
Come on, it's raining,
I'll give you a ride.
38
00:01:29,932 --> 00:01:32,197
♪ Buckle it up, buckle it up ♪
39
00:01:32,198 --> 00:01:35,563
♪ Buckle it up
or you'll die. ♪
40
00:01:35,564 --> 00:01:36,664
So? I'd say I knocked it
out of the park
41
00:01:36,665 --> 00:01:38,497
with your mother this year.
42
00:01:38,498 --> 00:01:40,697
Mm, more like a swing and a miss.
43
00:01:40,698 --> 00:01:42,698
Heart-shaped pancakes
is just as bad as a "from."
44
00:01:42,699 --> 00:01:43,797
No, it isn't.
45
00:01:43,798 --> 00:01:45,930
You do the same thing every year, Dad.
46
00:01:45,931 --> 00:01:47,630
You need to mix it up.
Yeah.
47
00:01:47,631 --> 00:01:48,829
What? I mix it up.
48
00:01:48,830 --> 00:01:50,529
I mean, I stick to a central theme,
49
00:01:50,530 --> 00:01:51,998
hearts, but your mom loves them.
50
00:01:51,999 --> 00:01:54,797
Yeah, she never gets tired of them.
51
00:01:54,798 --> 00:01:55,630
Huh?
52
00:01:55,631 --> 00:01:57,998
Mmm...
53
00:01:59,698 --> 00:02:02,098
Huh?
Oh...
54
00:02:03,231 --> 00:02:04,597
Well?
55
00:02:04,598 --> 00:02:06,697
Mm...
56
00:02:06,698 --> 00:02:08,063
Hmm.
Grow up, Dad.
57
00:02:08,064 --> 00:02:10,029
Only kids get to make homemade gifts.
58
00:02:10,030 --> 00:02:11,696
She deserves something nice this year.
59
00:02:11,697 --> 00:02:12,731
Mom's a real keeper.
60
00:02:12,732 --> 00:02:13,997
She's okay.
61
00:02:13,998 --> 00:02:15,597
So, Lin,
62
00:02:15,598 --> 00:02:16,929
did Bob make another
last-minute
63
00:02:16,930 --> 00:02:18,229
heart-shaped thing
this year?
64
00:02:18,230 --> 00:02:19,198
Flapjacks.
65
00:02:19,199 --> 00:02:20,198
Oh.
Oh.
66
00:02:20,199 --> 00:02:21,763
Ah, it's all right.
67
00:02:21,764 --> 00:02:23,863
Valentine's Day isn't about valentines.
68
00:02:23,864 --> 00:02:26,163
It's about two people being in love.
69
00:02:26,164 --> 00:02:27,630
♪ Two people ♪
70
00:02:27,631 --> 00:02:29,063
♪ Together forever ♪
71
00:02:29,064 --> 00:02:30,530
♪ Security in life ♪
72
00:02:30,531 --> 00:02:32,697
♪ And someone to love ya ♪
73
00:02:32,698 --> 00:02:34,697
♪ Instead of being all alone ♪
74
00:02:34,698 --> 00:02:36,763
♪ Such a lonely existence ♪
75
00:02:36,764 --> 00:02:37,864
♪ I'd kill myself. ♪
76
00:02:37,865 --> 00:02:39,630
Tough song.
77
00:02:39,631 --> 00:02:40,764
It's talking about us, Mort.
78
00:02:40,765 --> 00:02:42,230
Oh, my God, I'm sorry.
79
00:02:42,231 --> 00:02:44,062
Going on about love
when you guys don't...
80
00:02:44,063 --> 00:02:45,931
Have any love...
in the slightest?
81
00:02:45,932 --> 00:02:47,530
I just got a great idea.
82
00:02:47,531 --> 00:02:49,797
I'm gonna find love
for both of you today.
83
00:02:49,798 --> 00:02:51,797
We are gonna do speed dating.
84
00:02:51,798 --> 00:02:53,764
All right. I could go for that. I'm in.
85
00:02:53,765 --> 00:02:55,097
I'll make a sign.
86
00:02:55,098 --> 00:02:56,764
Oh, this is gonna be fun.
87
00:02:58,531 --> 00:02:59,698
Okay, so what do you think
88
00:02:59,699 --> 00:03:02,497
your mom wants--
chocolates? Perfume?
89
00:03:02,498 --> 00:03:03,898
We don't think what Mom wants.
90
00:03:03,899 --> 00:03:05,797
We know what Mom wants.
91
00:03:05,798 --> 00:03:06,964
Great, what does she want?
92
00:03:06,965 --> 00:03:08,663
A Grazielda figurine.
93
00:03:08,664 --> 00:03:10,663
Oh, yeah, those porcelain thingies.
94
00:03:10,664 --> 00:03:12,797
Okay, I'll-I'll get
one of those. Thanks.
95
00:03:12,798 --> 00:03:14,062
All right, have a good day, kids.
96
00:03:14,063 --> 00:03:15,831
Dad, there are hundreds of Grazieldas,
97
00:03:15,832 --> 00:03:17,697
thousands maybe.
98
00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,763
Taking our jobs, marrying our women.
99
00:03:19,764 --> 00:03:22,797
Only we know the exact one Mom wants.
100
00:03:22,798 --> 00:03:25,997
Yeah, if you pick the wrong one,
it's like you got her nothing!
101
00:03:25,998 --> 00:03:27,764
Okay, so tell me--
which one is it?
102
00:03:27,765 --> 00:03:29,630
We'll tell you...
at the mall.
103
00:03:29,631 --> 00:03:30,764
Yeah, we should go to the mall.
104
00:03:30,765 --> 00:03:32,762
My heart will be safe
from Jimmy Jr. there.
105
00:03:32,763 --> 00:03:35,096
Hey, I'm not taking you out
of school to go to the mall.
106
00:03:35,097 --> 00:03:36,496
Okay, well, you know,
it's your marriage.
107
00:03:37,630 --> 00:03:38,762
You're holding up the line.
108
00:03:38,763 --> 00:03:39,764
Hold on, one minute.
109
00:03:39,765 --> 00:03:41,997
Hmm, I could stand to wow her.
110
00:03:41,998 --> 00:03:44,530
Then wow the woman.
111
00:03:44,531 --> 00:03:45,964
Stop, I'm... wait!
Come on, move it!
112
00:03:45,965 --> 00:03:47,630
You move it!
113
00:03:47,631 --> 00:03:49,697
I'm saying good-bye to my kids!
114
00:03:49,698 --> 00:03:51,164
You're sure you know?
I know.
115
00:03:51,165 --> 00:03:53,663
All right, we're going
to the mall then!
116
00:03:53,664 --> 00:03:54,764
To the mall!
Yeah!
117
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Okay.
118
00:03:55,998 --> 00:03:58,130
Eat it, you losers!
119
00:03:58,131 --> 00:04:00,130
♪ Buckle it up, buckle it up ♪
120
00:04:00,131 --> 00:04:02,898
♪ Buckle it up
or you'll die. ♪
121
00:04:04,124 --> 00:04:06,669
Okay, we go in, you tell me
which one to buy,
122
00:04:06,670 --> 00:04:07,769
I get you back
to school by 10:00,
123
00:04:08,019 --> 00:04:10,718
and you can tell your teachers,
um, you had, uh...
124
00:04:10,981 --> 00:04:12,014
A dyslexic episode!
125
00:04:12,015 --> 00:04:13,380
- Pregnancy.
- Hmm.
126
00:04:13,381 --> 00:04:14,513
Shingles.
127
00:04:14,514 --> 00:04:15,848
Uh, yeah, that's good, fine.
128
00:04:15,849 --> 00:04:17,980
Wow, these are all so corny.
129
00:04:17,981 --> 00:04:19,881
What's so corny about
a puppy under an umbrella?
130
00:04:21,314 --> 00:04:22,946
All right, so which one
does your mom want?
131
00:04:22,947 --> 00:04:24,012
That one!
That one!
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00:04:24,013 --> 00:04:25,281
That one?
That one.
133
00:04:25,282 --> 00:04:26,813
Wait a second, you have no clue
134
00:04:26,814 --> 00:04:28,479
which one your mom wants--
you just tricked me
135
00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:29,514
to get out of school.
136
00:04:29,515 --> 00:04:30,647
How dare you!
137
00:04:30,648 --> 00:04:31,779
I believed them, too, Dad.
138
00:04:31,780 --> 00:04:33,012
Egg on our face, huh?
139
00:04:33,013 --> 00:04:34,448
Let me guess-- looking
for a Grazielda
140
00:04:34,449 --> 00:04:35,880
for your lovely wife?
141
00:04:35,881 --> 00:04:38,347
Yeah, so which one
is the least expensive?
142
00:04:38,348 --> 00:04:41,813
Oh, this is kind of our starter
figurine-- La Princessa.
143
00:04:41,814 --> 00:04:43,613
She's $250.
144
00:04:43,614 --> 00:04:44,981
What? That's your cheapest?
145
00:04:44,982 --> 00:04:46,947
I don't like that word.
146
00:04:46,948 --> 00:04:50,313
Perhaps you nor your wife are
really serious about Grazieldas.
147
00:04:50,314 --> 00:04:51,347
No, we're not.
148
00:04:51,348 --> 00:04:52,847
Who would be serious
149
00:04:52,848 --> 00:04:53,981
about these things?
150
00:04:53,982 --> 00:04:55,980
Bill Belichick, Peter Frampton,
151
00:04:55,981 --> 00:04:57,980
Linda Lavin to name a few.
152
00:04:57,981 --> 00:05:00,381
Kids, we're leaving.
153
00:05:01,581 --> 00:05:02,948
Welcome, ladies,
154
00:05:02,949 --> 00:05:05,247
to Bob's Burgers' Speed Dating.
155
00:05:05,248 --> 00:05:07,014
You'll have one minute
with these fine gentlemen,
156
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:08,947
and when you hear this--
157
00:05:08,948 --> 00:05:10,747
Kank-kank-- switch partners.
158
00:05:10,748 --> 00:05:13,580
But if you hear this--
cra-cra-crank--
159
00:05:13,581 --> 00:05:15,347
change topics.
160
00:05:15,348 --> 00:05:17,380
And who's ready to fall in love?
161
00:05:17,381 --> 00:05:19,247
Speed date.
162
00:05:19,248 --> 00:05:21,747
So, Teddy, this is Gina.
163
00:05:21,748 --> 00:05:23,380
You two are now
in pre-love.
164
00:05:23,381 --> 00:05:25,280
We are?
Well, you got 60 seconds
165
00:05:25,281 --> 00:05:26,279
to figure it out.
166
00:05:26,280 --> 00:05:27,381
So, ticktock, let's go.
167
00:05:27,382 --> 00:05:28,613
Uh, I'm Teddy,
168
00:05:28,614 --> 00:05:30,247
like Linda said earlier.
169
00:05:30,248 --> 00:05:32,380
Um, what do we talk about?
170
00:05:32,381 --> 00:05:34,014
Uh, I don't know.
What do we talk about?
171
00:05:34,015 --> 00:05:36,447
I want to lick this one
like an envelope, mmm.
172
00:05:36,448 --> 00:05:38,013
Great, mail jokes.
173
00:05:38,014 --> 00:05:40,913
Oh, you're a mailman.
174
00:05:40,914 --> 00:05:42,913
Kids, how about this cell phone cover?
175
00:05:42,914 --> 00:05:44,780
It says, "Got Milf."
176
00:05:44,781 --> 00:05:46,947
That's perfect, right?
For your mom?
177
00:05:46,948 --> 00:05:49,379
I'll get this and then I'll
bring you kids back to school.
178
00:05:49,380 --> 00:05:51,281
School? Let's not get
ahead of ourselves.
179
00:05:51,282 --> 00:05:52,847
Dad, you need to wow her.
180
00:05:52,848 --> 00:05:54,747
This is not gonna wow her.
181
00:05:54,748 --> 00:05:56,348
I thought you were done
half-assing it, Dad.
182
00:05:56,349 --> 00:05:58,013
Why can't you be more romantic?
183
00:05:58,014 --> 00:05:59,348
What? I'm plenty romantic.
184
00:05:59,349 --> 00:06:00,980
Very funny.
Stop goofing.
185
00:06:00,981 --> 00:06:03,647
What was the most romantic
thing you ever did for Mom?
186
00:06:03,648 --> 00:06:05,280
I don't know, I planned stuff.
187
00:06:05,281 --> 00:06:07,580
I planned a whole romantic day
one time.
188
00:06:07,581 --> 00:06:08,913
It was her birthday...
189
00:06:08,914 --> 00:06:10,980
No, wait, it was my birthday...
190
00:06:10,981 --> 00:06:12,679
No, no, no, wait,
it was Valentine's Day.
191
00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:14,579
It was our first
Valentine's Day together.
192
00:06:14,580 --> 00:06:16,281
You are the worst storyteller.
193
00:06:16,282 --> 00:06:19,013
Where's Maya Angelou when you need him?
194
00:06:19,014 --> 00:06:20,946
Yeah, I made a picnic
basket and I picked out a spot
195
00:06:20,947 --> 00:06:22,914
to watch the sunset,
and then my car died.
196
00:06:22,915 --> 00:06:25,913
So we had to get towed
to the mechanic's.
197
00:06:25,914 --> 00:06:29,280
Tell me exactly what was wrong
with the car-- was it a gasket?
198
00:06:29,281 --> 00:06:31,013
Was it the carburetor?
199
00:06:31,014 --> 00:06:32,912
Guys, he's telling
us a romantic story.
200
00:06:32,913 --> 00:06:34,346
While the car was getting fixed,
201
00:06:34,347 --> 00:06:36,014
we went to a bar across the street.
202
00:06:36,015 --> 00:06:37,747
It wasn't the beach at sunset,
203
00:06:37,748 --> 00:06:40,280
- but we, uh, we had a great time.
- Aw.
204
00:06:40,281 --> 00:06:43,480
And there was this old beat-up
machine, like a love tester
205
00:06:43,481 --> 00:06:45,646
or something, and we squeezed
the lever together,
206
00:06:45,647 --> 00:06:46,914
and it said we were "red hot."
207
00:06:46,915 --> 00:06:48,780
And she kissed me and
208
00:06:48,781 --> 00:06:51,947
that's, uh, that's when
I knew we were in love.
209
00:06:51,948 --> 00:06:53,912
That's it. Buy Mom
the love tester.
210
00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:55,448
What do you mean, the actual machine?
211
00:06:55,449 --> 00:06:58,280
Yeah, she'd totally marry
you if you did that.
212
00:06:58,281 --> 00:06:59,981
Dad, do you remember where that bar is?
213
00:06:59,982 --> 00:07:01,713
Will it take all day to find it?
214
00:07:01,714 --> 00:07:03,880
Hmm, I do think I remember where it is.
215
00:07:03,881 --> 00:07:06,413
Oh, really?
We've got a mission.
216
00:07:06,414 --> 00:07:07,879
The most noble
mission there is--
217
00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:08,946
a love mission.
218
00:07:08,947 --> 00:07:10,812
It's a missionary position mission.
219
00:07:10,813 --> 00:07:12,012
Yeah, she'd really like that.
220
00:07:12,013 --> 00:07:13,979
Probably get it for,
like, 50 bucks, tops.
221
00:07:13,980 --> 00:07:15,514
All right, I'll drop you off at school
222
00:07:15,515 --> 00:07:17,280
and then I'll go to the dive bar.
223
00:07:17,281 --> 00:07:18,347
That's crazy.
224
00:07:18,348 --> 00:07:20,280
School is way out of the way.
225
00:07:20,281 --> 00:07:21,848
They're doing construction
on that one street,
226
00:07:21,849 --> 00:07:23,380
it's raining--
what a clusterjam.
227
00:07:23,381 --> 00:07:24,913
We should go with you, Dad.
228
00:07:24,914 --> 00:07:27,513
All right, you can come,
but then right back to...
229
00:07:27,514 --> 00:07:29,680
Uh-uh-uh, not another
word about school.
230
00:07:29,681 --> 00:07:31,247
To the dive bar!
231
00:07:31,248 --> 00:07:32,580
Next dating game...
232
00:07:32,581 --> 00:07:34,413
speed hand holding.
233
00:07:34,414 --> 00:07:35,548
And... hold hands.
234
00:07:35,549 --> 00:07:36,548
Kank-kank!
235
00:07:37,648 --> 00:07:38,947
Teddy, Teddy,
236
00:07:38,948 --> 00:07:40,014
you're gonna hurt her.
237
00:07:40,015 --> 00:07:41,980
You're not trying to crush her.
238
00:07:41,981 --> 00:07:43,547
What?
I don't mind it rough.
239
00:07:43,548 --> 00:07:45,513
Very good, Mort.
240
00:07:45,514 --> 00:07:47,013
You are as limp as can be.
241
00:07:47,014 --> 00:07:49,247
Limp and clammy, my signature hold.
242
00:07:50,249 --> 00:07:51,747
Sergeant Bosco!
243
00:07:51,748 --> 00:07:53,247
What are you doing here?
244
00:07:53,248 --> 00:07:55,479
Someone just robbed a jewelry
store on Front Street.
245
00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:56,746
He fled on foot in this direction
246
00:07:56,747 --> 00:07:57,948
so we're going door-to-door.
247
00:07:57,949 --> 00:07:59,947
Oh.
All we know is he's
248
00:07:59,948 --> 00:08:02,880
five-ten to six-feet tall
with an athletic build.
249
00:08:02,881 --> 00:08:04,648
Eh, none of you guys
fit that description.
250
00:08:04,649 --> 00:08:06,913
Wow, that's harsh. Hey. A few years ago.
251
00:08:06,914 --> 00:08:08,881
Bosco, I couldn't help notice
you don't have a wedding ring.
252
00:08:08,882 --> 00:08:11,913
Did the guy steal that, too?
No, I chucked it into a ravine
253
00:08:11,914 --> 00:08:13,947
after my divorce went through.
Oh.
254
00:08:13,948 --> 00:08:15,312
500 block is negative.
255
00:08:15,313 --> 00:08:16,314
Well, keep looking!
256
00:08:16,315 --> 00:08:17,647
Damn, we had him,
257
00:08:17,648 --> 00:08:18,714
and then we lost him.
258
00:08:18,715 --> 00:08:20,280
Talking to me, Bosco?
No!
259
00:08:20,281 --> 00:08:23,247
Maybe don't leave
your thumb on the button?
260
00:08:23,248 --> 00:08:25,713
Eh, what's going on in here?
Speed dating.
261
00:08:25,714 --> 00:08:27,913
Ladies, I think we've
got a new contestant.
262
00:08:27,914 --> 00:08:29,947
No, no, if I wanted to feel like
263
00:08:29,948 --> 00:08:31,747
a loser, I'd just call my kids.
264
00:08:31,748 --> 00:08:33,813
But this is
Bob's Burgers' Speed Dating.
265
00:08:33,814 --> 00:08:35,980
Ladies and cops eat free.
266
00:08:35,981 --> 00:08:37,613
All right, you got five minutes.
267
00:08:37,614 --> 00:08:39,448
Okay, couple up,
clank-clank!
268
00:08:40,914 --> 00:08:43,747
How can I help you?
Yeah, I was here
269
00:08:43,748 --> 00:08:45,913
about 15 years ago
and I-I played
270
00:08:45,914 --> 00:08:47,980
this old timey-looking
love tester thing.
271
00:08:47,981 --> 00:08:49,313
Do you still have it?
272
00:08:49,314 --> 00:08:51,480
You mean Dr. Love's
Love Testometer?
273
00:08:51,481 --> 00:08:53,647
Yeah, that's it.
He knows it. Hooray.
274
00:08:53,648 --> 00:08:55,581
Eh, the owner sold it a few years ago.
275
00:08:55,582 --> 00:08:56,880
Oh, man.
276
00:08:56,881 --> 00:08:58,913
Do you know who he sold it to?
277
00:08:58,914 --> 00:09:00,480
Nah, no clue, sorry.
278
00:09:00,481 --> 00:09:01,880
I know where it is.
279
00:09:01,881 --> 00:09:02,980
Hugo!
Bob.
280
00:09:02,981 --> 00:09:03,980
Bob.
Ron.
281
00:09:03,981 --> 00:09:05,613
Hugo.
Yes, what?
282
00:09:05,614 --> 00:09:07,680
Oh. You know where the love testometer
283
00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:09,013
that used to be here is?
284
00:09:09,014 --> 00:09:11,313
I do. In fact,
later today I'm inspecting
285
00:09:11,314 --> 00:09:13,712
the establishment where
it's currently testometering.
286
00:09:13,713 --> 00:09:16,014
That's great. I think you
should invest in new soap
287
00:09:16,015 --> 00:09:19,280
for your bathroom before you
purchase vintage amusements.
288
00:09:19,281 --> 00:09:21,680
You think soap's the
problem with our bathroom?
289
00:09:21,681 --> 00:09:23,280
But it's not for the restaurant.
290
00:09:23,281 --> 00:09:24,714
It's my Valentine's Day gift for Linda.
291
00:09:24,715 --> 00:09:26,980
Oops, I just forgot where it is.
292
00:09:26,981 --> 00:09:27,914
Oh, come on.
293
00:09:27,915 --> 00:09:29,513
I'm not helping you buy Linda
294
00:09:29,514 --> 00:09:30,914
a romantic Valentine's gift.
295
00:09:30,915 --> 00:09:32,847
Maybe you should tell him, Hugo.
296
00:09:32,848 --> 00:09:34,947
Maybe I don't want to hear it, Ron.
All right.
297
00:09:34,948 --> 00:09:36,648
You're such a jerk, Hugo,
you know that?
298
00:09:36,649 --> 00:09:39,313
There are 97 bars and restaurants
299
00:09:39,314 --> 00:09:41,447
in my expansive jurisdiction.
300
00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:42,980
Good luck finding it, Bob.
301
00:09:45,681 --> 00:09:47,713
Back to the mall, I guess.
302
00:09:47,714 --> 00:09:49,647
Don't take this lying down, Dad.
303
00:09:49,648 --> 00:09:51,947
But Hugo won't tell us
where the testometer is.
304
00:09:51,948 --> 00:09:54,380
He said he's inspecting
the place today.
305
00:09:54,381 --> 00:09:57,480
So, okay, so what day is it?
306
00:09:57,481 --> 00:09:58,614
It's today.
Right.
307
00:09:58,615 --> 00:10:00,280
So you have to follow him.
308
00:10:00,281 --> 00:10:02,447
Yes! It's Valentine's Day, damn it.
309
00:10:02,448 --> 00:10:04,514
You're right. He'll lead us
right to the love testometer.
310
00:10:04,515 --> 00:10:06,247
Let's ride.
Hyah!
311
00:10:06,248 --> 00:10:07,948
But let's get a hot chocolate
312
00:10:07,949 --> 00:10:09,313
or something first.
313
00:10:09,314 --> 00:10:10,546
It's all rainy out.
Great idea, Eugene.
314
00:10:10,547 --> 00:10:11,814
Whoo-hoo.
Mm-hmm.
315
00:10:13,748 --> 00:10:15,512
You're too close!
316
00:10:15,513 --> 00:10:17,381
He'll see us.
I know what I'm doing.
317
00:10:17,382 --> 00:10:18,980
I've got a buffer car.
318
00:10:18,981 --> 00:10:20,381
You're gonna lead us
right to the testometer.
319
00:10:20,382 --> 00:10:22,447
And... we lost him.
320
00:10:22,448 --> 00:10:24,279
We didn't lose him, we'll catch up.
321
00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:25,279
I can still see him.
322
00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:26,448
Look, he's turning.
323
00:10:26,449 --> 00:10:28,047
No, no, no, don't turn.
324
00:10:28,048 --> 00:10:29,747
All right, uh...
325
00:10:29,748 --> 00:10:33,147
Let's see if I can safely go
through this red light.
326
00:10:33,148 --> 00:10:35,213
We're losing him. Drive!
It's safe! It's safe!
327
00:10:35,214 --> 00:10:37,047
Oh, sorry.
328
00:10:37,048 --> 00:10:38,281
Sorr... I'll go.
329
00:10:38,282 --> 00:10:40,947
I'll go... Stop!
330
00:10:40,948 --> 00:10:41,981
Okay!
331
00:10:41,982 --> 00:10:44,280
I'm... I'm in the FBI.
332
00:10:44,281 --> 00:10:46,780
It's, uh, uh...
it's official business!
333
00:10:46,781 --> 00:10:48,248
S-Sorry.
334
00:10:48,249 --> 00:10:49,947
Kank-kank.
All right, new game.
335
00:10:49,948 --> 00:10:51,913
Everyone say your favorite food.
336
00:10:51,914 --> 00:10:52,914
Go.
337
00:10:52,915 --> 00:10:54,313
Soy sauce.
Wax lips?
338
00:10:54,314 --> 00:10:56,148
Plain white rice.
Fried green tomatoes.
339
00:10:56,149 --> 00:10:58,313
Favorite love-making position.
Go!
340
00:10:58,314 --> 00:10:59,813
The Fried Green Tomato.
341
00:10:59,814 --> 00:11:01,179
The Pick n' Roll.
The Broken Sprinkler.
342
00:11:01,180 --> 00:11:02,879
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
The Sticky Wicket.
343
00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:04,781
No, no, no. Getting people
to say their favorite things
344
00:11:04,782 --> 00:11:06,113
isn't gonna work.
345
00:11:06,114 --> 00:11:08,213
Sure it is. If you
like the same food
346
00:11:08,214 --> 00:11:09,980
or sex angles, you're compatible.
347
00:11:09,981 --> 00:11:11,880
I'd do the exact opposite.
348
00:11:11,881 --> 00:11:14,348
I'd make everyone say the worst
thing about themselves,
349
00:11:14,349 --> 00:11:17,047
the most embarrassing, darkest secret.
350
00:11:17,048 --> 00:11:20,313
If the other person can
stomach you for another second,
351
00:11:20,314 --> 00:11:23,180
then maybe you have
a chance together, maybe.
352
00:11:23,181 --> 00:11:26,113
What? That is the
least romantic...
353
00:11:26,114 --> 00:11:27,814
I want to do it. Let's do it. I'm game.
354
00:11:27,815 --> 00:11:29,313
No.
I'll go first.
355
00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:30,881
Hi there.
I'm part of a secret society.
356
00:11:30,882 --> 00:11:32,280
We hunt men for sport.
357
00:11:32,281 --> 00:11:35,213
Hello. I've had
a yeast infection for ten years.
358
00:11:35,214 --> 00:11:37,313
Stop. Oh, Gina, no.
359
00:11:37,314 --> 00:11:39,813
Sometimes I just put the mail
down the storm drain.
360
00:11:39,814 --> 00:11:41,514
I knew it. I knew it.
Yeah, there you go.
361
00:11:41,515 --> 00:11:43,313
I called in a bomb threat once
362
00:11:43,314 --> 00:11:45,412
'cause I heard Mark Harmon
was staying at this hotel.
363
00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:47,812
I wanted to see him evacuate,
and then I stalked him
364
00:11:47,813 --> 00:11:49,414
for a year and hit
his wife with my car.
365
00:11:49,415 --> 00:11:50,847
No, stop it.
366
00:11:50,848 --> 00:11:52,179
Saying icky stuff about yourselves
367
00:11:52,180 --> 00:11:54,048
isn't what Valentine's Day is about.
368
00:11:54,049 --> 00:11:56,280
Now, stop it.
Well, it's what love's about.
369
00:11:56,281 --> 00:11:58,947
And if you women can handle my baggage,
370
00:11:58,948 --> 00:12:01,280
then you can fly with me,
but bring a sick bag,
371
00:12:01,281 --> 00:12:03,046
'cause it's gonna be a real bumpy ride.
372
00:12:03,047 --> 00:12:04,414
Clean-up, aisle
my panties.
373
00:12:04,415 --> 00:12:06,414
No.
374
00:12:12,314 --> 00:12:14,180
Psst, over here.
Huh?
375
00:12:14,181 --> 00:12:15,748
Hey, do you have
a coin-operated machine
376
00:12:15,749 --> 00:12:17,280
in there that predicts love?
377
00:12:17,281 --> 00:12:18,514
Can't I just take out the trash
378
00:12:18,515 --> 00:12:20,780
one time without getting
hit on by some perv?
379
00:12:20,781 --> 00:12:23,347
He may be a perv, but that's my dad.
380
00:12:23,348 --> 00:12:25,247
Hugo's gonna take forever.
381
00:12:25,248 --> 00:12:27,347
We wouldn't have to wait
for Hugo to lead us
382
00:12:27,348 --> 00:12:30,214
to the next place if we
found out where he's going.
383
00:12:34,248 --> 00:12:36,080
It's locked.
384
00:12:36,081 --> 00:12:37,214
But the window's open a crack.
385
00:12:37,215 --> 00:12:39,247
Maybe we can find a hanger or...
386
00:12:39,248 --> 00:12:40,514
Hangers are for Sunday school clothes.
387
00:12:40,515 --> 00:12:42,047
Bring me a rock.
388
00:12:42,048 --> 00:12:43,348
We're not smashing the window.
389
00:12:43,349 --> 00:12:45,013
It'll look like the rain did it.
390
00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:46,248
Do it.
Get that clipboard.
391
00:12:46,249 --> 00:12:48,247
Uh, thanks.
392
00:12:48,248 --> 00:12:49,879
Hugo would have blamed me for that.
393
00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:51,212
Oh, hey. Hi, Ron. This is...
394
00:12:51,213 --> 00:12:52,946
Ron, what are you doing here?
Hey!
395
00:12:52,947 --> 00:12:54,314
This not my van.
We were just gonna
396
00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:56,413
get some ice cream
from this truck here.
397
00:12:56,414 --> 00:12:58,080
We're just getting the clipboard.
398
00:12:58,081 --> 00:13:00,247
Listen, Hugo's wrong
not to help you out.
399
00:13:00,248 --> 00:13:02,280
I don't know which place
has the testometer,
400
00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:03,914
but, uh, this is
where we're going today.
401
00:13:03,915 --> 00:13:05,212
Hey, thanks, Ron.
402
00:13:05,213 --> 00:13:06,846
You know, we'll check those places out.
403
00:13:06,847 --> 00:13:08,246
You're a good guy to help us.
404
00:13:08,247 --> 00:13:09,314
You're a great guy.
405
00:13:09,315 --> 00:13:11,013
I look up to you, man.
Oh.
406
00:13:11,014 --> 00:13:12,446
I wouldn't mind having
a friend like you.
407
00:13:12,447 --> 00:13:14,314
Okay, let's go, kids.
Thanks again, Ron.
408
00:13:14,315 --> 00:13:15,314
See you.
409
00:13:15,315 --> 00:13:17,013
♪ Falafel ♪
410
00:13:17,014 --> 00:13:19,380
♪ We're on a love mission ♪
411
00:13:19,381 --> 00:13:21,347
♪ Pizza ♪
412
00:13:21,348 --> 00:13:23,847
♪ We're on a love mission ♪
413
00:13:23,848 --> 00:13:25,247
♪ All the rest ♪
414
00:13:25,248 --> 00:13:27,380
♪ We're on a love mission. ♪
415
00:13:27,381 --> 00:13:30,013
Kids, uh, stay outside.
416
00:13:30,014 --> 00:13:31,281
Excuse me, sir, do you have
417
00:13:31,282 --> 00:13:33,279
something called the love testometer?
418
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:35,114
I got your love testometer
right here, pal.
419
00:13:35,115 --> 00:13:37,313
That goes in the buttbank.
420
00:13:37,314 --> 00:13:39,780
Yah!
421
00:13:39,781 --> 00:13:42,113
Yah! Hyah!
422
00:13:42,114 --> 00:13:44,079
Well, this is the last place
on the list.
423
00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:45,248
It better be here.
424
00:13:46,448 --> 00:13:47,947
I'll have a seven and seven.
425
00:13:47,948 --> 00:13:49,312
No! Make it an
eight and eight.
426
00:13:49,313 --> 00:13:50,481
Make mine a double, would you?
427
00:13:50,482 --> 00:13:52,313
A 16 and 16, thank you.
428
00:13:52,314 --> 00:13:53,381
I'm good with water.
429
00:13:53,382 --> 00:13:55,747
No, wait.
Um, yeah, just water.
430
00:13:55,748 --> 00:13:58,313
Kids, please. Look, I-I've
been driving all over,
431
00:13:58,314 --> 00:14:00,480
trying to find my wife
this Valentine's gift,
432
00:14:00,481 --> 00:14:01,980
and you're my last hope.
433
00:14:01,981 --> 00:14:03,281
Everybody loves these tiny umbrellas.
434
00:14:03,282 --> 00:14:04,847
How many does she want?
435
00:14:04,848 --> 00:14:06,214
No, no, no.
I'm actually looking
436
00:14:06,215 --> 00:14:07,980
for Dr. Love's Love Testometer.
437
00:14:07,981 --> 00:14:10,212
Please say you have it;
I want to buy it from you.
438
00:14:10,213 --> 00:14:11,912
You want to buy my love testometer?
439
00:14:11,913 --> 00:14:13,214
You-you actually have it?
440
00:14:13,215 --> 00:14:14,847
Yeah, it's right over there.
441
00:14:14,848 --> 00:14:15,848
It's exactly as I remembered.
442
00:14:15,849 --> 00:14:18,047
It's beautiful.
443
00:14:18,048 --> 00:14:19,746
I'd love to sell it to you.
Great!
444
00:14:19,747 --> 00:14:21,214
But I can't, I already sold it.
445
00:14:21,215 --> 00:14:22,380
Hello, Bob.
446
00:14:22,381 --> 00:14:25,014
Lookie what I just boughtie.
447
00:14:27,698 --> 00:14:29,497
Odd bumping into you here, Bob.
448
00:14:29,498 --> 00:14:30,664
Oh, wait. No, it's not.
449
00:14:30,665 --> 00:14:32,197
I knew you were coming, thanks to
450
00:14:32,198 --> 00:14:34,763
Mr. Opens-the-van-for-anyone
over here.
451
00:14:34,764 --> 00:14:36,864
Hugo noticed the missing
carbon copy from the clipboard.
452
00:14:36,865 --> 00:14:38,763
Nerd.
453
00:14:38,764 --> 00:14:41,031
Now Ron's not allowed to ride
up front with me in the van.
454
00:14:41,032 --> 00:14:42,563
Come on, Dad,
455
00:14:42,564 --> 00:14:43,929
you need to get that
testometer for Mom.
456
00:14:43,930 --> 00:14:45,098
I'm starting to disappear.
457
00:14:45,099 --> 00:14:46,663
How much did he pay for that?
458
00:14:46,664 --> 00:14:49,029
A hundred bucks for that junk.
All right.
459
00:14:49,030 --> 00:14:50,964
Hugo, please sell me
the love testometer.
460
00:14:50,965 --> 00:14:54,030
Uh, no. Hugo, this isn't
about me and you.
461
00:14:54,031 --> 00:14:55,898
This is about giving a woman a gift
462
00:14:55,899 --> 00:14:58,630
to make up for years of-of...
463
00:14:58,631 --> 00:15:01,063
Crap?
Well, not quite crap, Tina.
464
00:15:01,064 --> 00:15:02,797
Last-minute nothings?
Crap.
465
00:15:02,798 --> 00:15:04,098
Listen, Hugo, please sell it to me.
466
00:15:04,099 --> 00:15:05,531
Linda deserves it.
467
00:15:08,098 --> 00:15:10,898
Okay, Bob, I will sell it to you.
468
00:15:11,731 --> 00:15:13,097
For $500.
469
00:15:13,098 --> 00:15:14,697
But you only paid $100.
470
00:15:14,698 --> 00:15:16,563
$500?
Is that thing magic?
471
00:15:16,564 --> 00:15:17,729
You want it or not, Bob?
472
00:15:17,730 --> 00:15:18,998
Of course he wants it.
473
00:15:18,999 --> 00:15:20,630
It's just his money's all tied up
474
00:15:20,631 --> 00:15:21,831
in real estate right now so...
475
00:15:21,832 --> 00:15:23,898
Do you take fake credit cards?
476
00:15:25,531 --> 00:15:27,197
All right, fine.
477
00:15:27,198 --> 00:15:29,263
Another thing about me,
I'm hooked on pills.
478
00:15:29,264 --> 00:15:31,563
The bad kind that make you feel good.
479
00:15:31,564 --> 00:15:34,797
I like to play with a yo-yo,
so something comes back to me.
480
00:15:34,798 --> 00:15:36,529
People, enough with the confessions.
481
00:15:36,530 --> 00:15:37,798
You should know that
482
00:15:37,799 --> 00:15:39,863
there's hardwood under this carpet.
483
00:15:39,864 --> 00:15:41,197
Yeah, there you go.
484
00:15:41,198 --> 00:15:43,730
Stop, Mort, keep that carpet on.
485
00:15:43,731 --> 00:15:45,263
Damn it, Sergeant Bosco.
486
00:15:45,264 --> 00:15:47,930
You're infecting everyone
with your poison.
487
00:15:47,931 --> 00:15:50,597
Don't you have a jewelry store
thief to catch or something?
488
00:15:50,598 --> 00:15:52,762
That's why I have one of these;
it's called a radio.
489
00:15:52,763 --> 00:15:54,698
And one of these;
it's called a gun.
490
00:15:54,699 --> 00:15:56,230
Yeah, well, what you don't have
491
00:15:56,231 --> 00:15:57,697
is one of these.
492
00:15:57,698 --> 00:15:59,797
A heart.
493
00:15:59,798 --> 00:16:01,664
Mmm.
Ugh.
494
00:16:02,831 --> 00:16:04,997
Pleasure doing business with you, Bob.
495
00:16:04,998 --> 00:16:07,663
Wow. Now you won't have to get
Mom another gift for 30 years.
496
00:16:07,664 --> 00:16:09,763
Yup. This is the best
present ever,
497
00:16:09,764 --> 00:16:11,497
a living memory.
498
00:16:11,498 --> 00:16:13,664
Your Mom and I even carved
our initials on the side. See?
499
00:16:13,665 --> 00:16:15,763
Who's "BB"?
Bob Belcher.
500
00:16:15,764 --> 00:16:17,997
No, who's the other "BB"?
501
00:16:17,998 --> 00:16:20,663
Uh, what other...
502
00:16:20,664 --> 00:16:21,730
Oh, God.
503
00:16:24,898 --> 00:16:27,163
This is fun.
What?
504
00:16:27,164 --> 00:16:28,930
Barbara Bunkley!
505
00:16:28,931 --> 00:16:31,763
Oh, how could I have forgotten
that Valentine's Day was
506
00:16:31,764 --> 00:16:32,831
with Barbara Bunkley?
507
00:16:32,832 --> 00:16:34,797
Who is Barbara Bunkley?
508
00:16:34,798 --> 00:16:36,963
What was I thinking?
Barbara Bunkley!
509
00:16:36,964 --> 00:16:39,231
Will someone please tell me
who Barbara Bunkley is?!
510
00:16:39,232 --> 00:16:41,797
I'm guessing it's our real mom.
511
00:16:41,798 --> 00:16:43,797
And she's beautiful and sporty.
512
00:16:43,798 --> 00:16:45,230
She was my girlfriend
513
00:16:45,231 --> 00:16:46,798
the year before I met your mother.
514
00:16:46,799 --> 00:16:48,663
I can't believe that.
515
00:16:48,664 --> 00:16:51,830
The date I'm remembering
wasn't with your mom.
516
00:16:51,831 --> 00:16:52,931
What a moron!
517
00:16:52,932 --> 00:16:54,930
So this love mission was a sham?
518
00:16:54,931 --> 00:16:56,763
Hugo, I don't want it anymore.
519
00:16:56,764 --> 00:16:57,898
Take this stupid thing back.
520
00:16:57,899 --> 00:17:00,531
Oh, no, Bob, no refunds.
521
00:17:03,598 --> 00:17:05,163
Okay, okay, there we go.
522
00:17:05,164 --> 00:17:07,597
I guess we're a little
short on women, huh?
523
00:17:07,598 --> 00:17:09,863
Yeah, yeah, work those nubs.
524
00:17:09,864 --> 00:17:11,563
Ooh, that's it, right there.
525
00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:12,664
Another hard truth about me...
526
00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:14,130
Oh, you stupid...
527
00:17:14,131 --> 00:17:15,663
I pepper-sprayed my barber,
528
00:17:15,664 --> 00:17:16,962
but I mean, look at this.
529
00:17:17,965 --> 00:17:19,197
Here it goes.
530
00:17:19,198 --> 00:17:20,897
I dress up as Santa every night.
531
00:17:20,898 --> 00:17:22,731
It's the only way I can go to sleep.
532
00:17:22,732 --> 00:17:25,163
Uh... What, Miss ten-year
yeast infection.
533
00:17:25,164 --> 00:17:27,830
See a doctor, why don't you?
534
00:17:28,865 --> 00:17:30,597
I have a prison pen pal.
535
00:17:30,598 --> 00:17:31,662
He thinks my name is Michelle.
536
00:17:31,663 --> 00:17:33,064
Technically he's my fiancé.
537
00:17:33,065 --> 00:17:35,530
I also ran over
Vinny Testaverde's wife.
538
00:17:35,531 --> 00:17:38,030
Oh, that's it!
539
00:17:38,031 --> 00:17:41,730
Everyone needs to stop listening
to this cruddy duddy right now!
540
00:17:41,731 --> 00:17:43,730
Kank-kank-kank.
541
00:17:43,731 --> 00:17:45,063
Too bad, Linda, you just
542
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,863
don't know anything about dating.
543
00:17:46,864 --> 00:17:48,697
Yes, I do.
544
00:17:48,698 --> 00:17:50,664
Then why is everyone listening to me?
They're not.
545
00:17:50,665 --> 00:17:52,664
They are.
Oh, yeah, well, without this...
546
00:17:52,665 --> 00:17:54,763
Whoa!
547
00:17:54,764 --> 00:17:56,764
...no one's gonna listen
to you anymore, tough guy.
548
00:17:56,765 --> 00:17:59,763
Yeppity-do, da-da-da.
Sha-ba-da-ba-bum.
549
00:17:59,764 --> 00:18:03,063
Uh, Lin, I don't think you can
take a police officer's gun.
550
00:18:03,064 --> 00:18:04,897
Sure I can. I
just did. Look.
551
00:18:04,898 --> 00:18:06,497
No, I mean, by law.
552
00:18:06,498 --> 00:18:09,663
Do you have any idea
what you've just done?
553
00:18:09,664 --> 00:18:11,030
No. Kind of.
554
00:18:11,031 --> 00:18:12,497
Is it bad?
555
00:18:12,498 --> 00:18:13,764
You're under arrest.
556
00:18:14,931 --> 00:18:16,031
Oof, oof, tight.
557
00:18:16,032 --> 00:18:17,497
Too tight.
558
00:18:17,498 --> 00:18:19,198
Shush. One size
fits all. Shut up.
559
00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:21,730
What's going on?
Mommy's getting arrested.
560
00:18:21,731 --> 00:18:24,030
What? Whoa-ho-ho, I thought Dad blew it.
561
00:18:24,031 --> 00:18:26,863
Yeah, well, Mommy blew it
real bad here today.
562
00:18:26,864 --> 00:18:28,797
She blew it. Oh.
What's going on
563
00:18:28,798 --> 00:18:30,731
is taking an officer's
sidearm is a felony.
564
00:18:30,732 --> 00:18:32,563
Whoa, Mom, you took his gun?
565
00:18:32,564 --> 00:18:33,764
She sure did, Louise.
566
00:18:33,765 --> 00:18:36,097
I just wanted to get control
of speed dating.
567
00:18:36,098 --> 00:18:38,897
That does not seem like a thing
you would need a gun for.
568
00:18:38,898 --> 00:18:40,797
Where have you been, Bobby?
569
00:18:40,798 --> 00:18:42,029
We spent all day helping Dad
570
00:18:42,030 --> 00:18:43,664
get you the perfect Valentine's gift.
571
00:18:43,665 --> 00:18:45,664
All day? You kids
weren't at school?
572
00:18:45,665 --> 00:18:46,930
Dad sprung us.
573
00:18:46,931 --> 00:18:48,796
I wanted to do something
special for you today.
574
00:18:48,797 --> 00:18:51,096
We... we went all over
town trying to find this thing
575
00:18:51,097 --> 00:18:52,798
from our first
Valentine's Day together.
576
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:54,798
Dad ran a red light.
We went to Chinatown.
577
00:18:54,799 --> 00:18:56,263
And Pickles.
Pickles?
578
00:18:56,264 --> 00:18:58,130
And I spent $500 on it,
579
00:18:58,131 --> 00:19:00,529
but it wasn't from our first
Valentine's Day together.
580
00:19:00,530 --> 00:19:02,931
It was from a Valentine's Day
I spent with Barbara Bunkley.
581
00:19:02,932 --> 00:19:04,630
I remembered it wrong.
582
00:19:04,631 --> 00:19:06,131
I'm so sorry,
I'm... I'm an idiot.
583
00:19:06,132 --> 00:19:07,697
So you're telling me
584
00:19:07,698 --> 00:19:10,730
you let the kids play hooky
to run all over town
585
00:19:10,731 --> 00:19:12,830
to hunt down some
expensive thing you remembered
586
00:19:12,831 --> 00:19:14,497
from a date we didn't even go on?
587
00:19:14,498 --> 00:19:15,497
Yes.
588
00:19:15,498 --> 00:19:17,097
That... is...
589
00:19:17,098 --> 00:19:19,697
so romantic!
590
00:19:19,698 --> 00:19:21,563
Aw.
Aw.
591
00:19:21,564 --> 00:19:23,497
What?
Oh, Bobby!
592
00:19:23,498 --> 00:19:24,964
You went through all
that trouble for me.
593
00:19:24,965 --> 00:19:26,964
This is the best Valentine's Day ever.
594
00:19:26,965 --> 00:19:28,163
Ever!
595
00:19:28,164 --> 00:19:29,830
Give me that.
596
00:19:29,831 --> 00:19:31,796
So you came here for speed dating?
597
00:19:31,797 --> 00:19:33,262
No. A jewelry store
got robbed.
598
00:19:33,263 --> 00:19:34,796
The suspect was spotted in the area.
599
00:19:34,797 --> 00:19:36,198
But you stayed for speed dating? Yeah.
600
00:19:36,199 --> 00:19:39,530
You must be hard up for chicks. Yup.
601
00:19:39,531 --> 00:19:41,731
I'm sorry I'm getting
arrested on Valentine's Day.
602
00:19:41,732 --> 00:19:42,797
Come here.
603
00:19:42,798 --> 00:19:44,497
Ow. Ow.
604
00:19:44,498 --> 00:19:45,830
So, uh... what,
605
00:19:45,831 --> 00:19:47,830
I'll-I'll follow you two
down to the station?
606
00:19:47,831 --> 00:19:49,796
Yep. This little lady
is going right to...
607
00:19:49,797 --> 00:19:50,964
Shh! Shh!
Wait! Shut up! Shut up!
608
00:19:50,965 --> 00:19:52,663
Be advised.
609
00:19:52,664 --> 00:19:55,097
Jewelry store suspect spotted
at 15th and Grand.
610
00:19:55,098 --> 00:19:56,862
All right, I'm on my
way. You, follow me.
611
00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:58,531
Well, I guess it's your lucky day.
612
00:19:58,532 --> 00:20:00,663
You talking to me?
No, for God's sake.
613
00:20:00,664 --> 00:20:01,964
I'll show you how to use the radio
614
00:20:01,965 --> 00:20:03,497
when you get back to the station.
615
00:20:03,498 --> 00:20:04,797
Oh!
616
00:20:04,798 --> 00:20:06,696
It's so easy to call in a false tip.
617
00:20:06,697 --> 00:20:08,498
Those streets don't even intersect.
618
00:20:08,499 --> 00:20:09,830
Hi, Tina.
619
00:20:09,831 --> 00:20:11,796
Hi, Jimmy, Jr.
You weren't at school today,
620
00:20:11,797 --> 00:20:13,031
so I brought you your homework.
621
00:20:13,032 --> 00:20:15,997
Thanks.
And a Valentine's card.
622
00:20:18,764 --> 00:20:20,698
Aren't you gonna open it?
623
00:20:22,031 --> 00:20:24,030
"Heart"
624
00:20:24,031 --> 00:20:25,763
not "from." Yes.
625
00:20:25,764 --> 00:20:27,930
So, see you at school tomorrow.
626
00:20:27,931 --> 00:20:29,797
I'd really "heart" that.
627
00:20:29,798 --> 00:20:30,863
Uh, what?
628
00:20:30,864 --> 00:20:32,096
I'd really "hea..."
629
00:20:32,097 --> 00:20:33,696
I got to get going.
Yeah, me, too.
630
00:20:33,697 --> 00:20:35,164
So, that, uh, stuff you said earlier,
631
00:20:35,165 --> 00:20:37,030
that's the worst about you?
632
00:20:37,031 --> 00:20:39,130
Yup. That's it.
Oh, except for one time...
633
00:20:39,131 --> 00:20:40,730
Oh, oh, oh!
Don't say it.
634
00:20:40,731 --> 00:20:42,496
Here's my number.
635
00:20:42,497 --> 00:20:43,729
Hey, I made a match!
636
00:20:43,730 --> 00:20:44,864
I bet I screw this up.
637
00:20:44,865 --> 00:20:48,497
Kank-kank-kank.
638
00:20:50,798 --> 00:20:52,097
♪ Two people ♪
639
00:20:52,098 --> 00:20:53,763
♪ Together forever ♪
640
00:20:53,764 --> 00:20:55,031
♪ Security in life ♪
641
00:20:55,032 --> 00:20:57,197
♪ And someone to love ya ♪
642
00:20:57,198 --> 00:20:59,197
♪ Instead of being all alone ♪
643
00:20:59,198 --> 00:21:02,697
♪ Such a lonely existence ♪
644
00:21:07,998 --> 00:21:09,497
♪ Two people ♪
645
00:21:09,498 --> 00:21:10,930
♪ Together forever ♪
646
00:21:10,931 --> 00:21:12,164
♪ Security in life ♪
647
00:21:12,165 --> 00:21:14,130
♪ And someone to love ya ♪
648
00:21:14,131 --> 00:21:15,930
♪ Instead of being all alone ♪
649
00:21:15,931 --> 00:21:17,763
♪ Such a lonely existence ♪
650
00:21:17,764 --> 00:21:19,764
♪ I'd kill myself. ♪
45611
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