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1
00:00:37,959 --> 00:00:39,959
Let's begin!
2
00:00:40,834 --> 00:00:41,751
Music!
3
00:03:08,042 --> 00:03:09,334
I'm speechless.
4
00:03:15,250 --> 00:03:16,584
Where's he going?
5
00:03:21,834 --> 00:03:23,375
Is he going to the toilet?
6
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:27,125
He always says, "I'm speechless"!
7
00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:29,751
Damn, it's not raining.
8
00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:31,334
Why do you want it to rain?
9
00:03:31,459 --> 00:03:34,876
I need to test this new wig.
10
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,626
One of your chemist uncle's ideas?
11
00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:41,334
Yes, he's an expert in materials,
I deal with design.
12
00:03:41,459 --> 00:03:45,167
Since by law they have to be tested,
I do the testing as well.
13
00:03:45,292 --> 00:03:50,125
But if it works, who'll finance you?
14
00:03:50,250 --> 00:03:52,459
A Swedish company.
15
00:03:52,626 --> 00:03:55,584
IKEA! They'll do it chipboard.
16
00:03:59,167 --> 00:04:01,542
I was already bald by the age of 20,
17
00:04:01,667 --> 00:04:04,167
if there'd been wigs like this then,
18
00:04:04,292 --> 00:04:08,083
my story as a singer
would've turned out differently.
19
00:04:08,209 --> 00:04:13,584
Tomato, Wednesday,
be on time for the rehearsal.
20
00:04:13,709 --> 00:04:16,209
You too, Addams Family!
21
00:04:16,334 --> 00:04:19,209
I can't, I've got five-a-side game.
22
00:04:19,334 --> 00:04:23,709
Today's my 10th wedding anniversary
and I still came!
23
00:04:23,834 --> 00:04:27,375
Congratulations! Ten years already!
24
00:04:27,542 --> 00:04:29,876
You left a wife like that at home
25
00:04:29,959 --> 00:04:31,834
to come and muck about on stage?
26
00:04:31,959 --> 00:04:34,876
She knows she married an artist.
27
00:04:34,959 --> 00:04:36,751
Artist, yeah, and cuckold.
28
00:04:37,334 --> 00:04:41,042
The cuckolds
are the ones that play 5-a-side.
29
00:04:41,959 --> 00:04:44,459
Dad, can we have spaghetti tonight?
30
00:04:45,751 --> 00:04:49,876
Altamante, a bit of self-control!
31
00:04:49,959 --> 00:04:52,083
You've got talent, believe me.
32
00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:55,876
Do you want to try
for the talent show on TV?
33
00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:58,542
Okay, a couple of crackers, then.
34
00:04:58,667 --> 00:05:01,918
Wholemeal.
35
00:05:02,876 --> 00:05:03,959
Love?
36
00:05:16,375 --> 00:05:19,667
"Follow the candles,
37
00:05:19,792 --> 00:05:23,042
blow them out, clean the floor,
38
00:05:23,167 --> 00:05:26,209
and if you can, find me, artist!"
39
00:05:26,834 --> 00:05:28,667
A treasure hunt!
40
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,792
She's arranged a treasure hunt.
41
00:05:41,459 --> 00:05:45,584
OPEN!
42
00:05:45,709 --> 00:05:49,459
Go to where Uncle Rino stopped the car.
43
00:05:50,209 --> 00:05:52,876
Miranda invented the treasure hunt
44
00:05:52,959 --> 00:05:55,209
for special occasions.
45
00:05:55,334 --> 00:05:57,876
One for my 40th,
46
00:05:57,959 --> 00:06:01,876
one to tell me
we'd won 2,200 euros on the Lottery
47
00:06:01,959 --> 00:06:06,542
and one to tell me
Uncle Rino had stopped our car
48
00:06:06,667 --> 00:06:09,834
on the level crossing.
49
00:06:09,959 --> 00:06:11,667
He left the car there
50
00:06:11,792 --> 00:06:15,709
and the 9:00 pm Intercity
caught it full on.
51
00:06:19,542 --> 00:06:23,459
If you haven't been hit by the train,
52
00:06:23,626 --> 00:06:26,167
go where Giacinta saw the light.
53
00:06:26,292 --> 00:06:28,709
Giacinta was looking after the pigs
54
00:06:28,834 --> 00:06:31,167
and one night she saw a light
that nearly blinded her.
55
00:06:31,292 --> 00:06:34,834
Rather, it did blind her,
it took four diopters off her sight,
56
00:06:34,959 --> 00:06:38,375
she took it as a sign
from God and became a nun.
57
00:06:38,542 --> 00:06:41,751
Later we found out it was a laser beam
58
00:06:41,876 --> 00:06:44,250
from the Xeno disco.
59
00:06:44,375 --> 00:06:47,584
Ironically, the convent where she lives
60
00:06:47,709 --> 00:06:50,125
is 200 metres from another disco.
61
00:06:50,250 --> 00:06:53,167
Be quiet.
62
00:06:53,959 --> 00:06:59,417
"You're nearly there,
now put your head where Achille sleeps."
63
00:06:59,584 --> 00:07:00,500
No!
64
00:07:02,959 --> 00:07:07,876
Achille was a really fierce dog,
he even bit himself.
65
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:11,209
But nobody could understand
why he almost went into a trance
66
00:07:11,334 --> 00:07:14,042
when he heard Lucio Dalla's songs.
67
00:07:47,751 --> 00:07:51,375
"I'm waiting for you
where we had our first kiss."
68
00:08:28,459 --> 00:08:29,959
Mariano.
69
00:08:30,834 --> 00:08:32,292
Here's to us.
70
00:08:35,959 --> 00:08:37,167
That's my wife!
71
00:08:56,083 --> 00:09:00,334
Come on, ladies,
special offer on bin bags today!
72
00:09:00,459 --> 00:09:02,459
Forty for 3.00 euros.
73
00:09:02,626 --> 00:09:04,876
I'll even give you some garbage.
74
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:07,209
Guys, come to Giustina,
75
00:09:07,334 --> 00:09:11,167
designer clothes, all the names,
even the bills are genuine!
76
00:09:11,292 --> 00:09:13,542
Come on, poetry for everyone!
77
00:09:13,667 --> 00:09:15,876
Seize the shoes, best shoes in town!
78
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:17,751
It's easy to get the wrong shoes.
79
00:09:18,667 --> 00:09:23,250
Whatever you want, I've got it!
80
00:09:23,375 --> 00:09:27,584
Yesterday I made a fruit salad
that won me an Oscar!
81
00:09:27,709 --> 00:09:28,959
Thank you.
82
00:09:29,083 --> 00:09:35,542
Instead, with that Madagascar papaya
you gave me, I won the runs.
83
00:09:35,667 --> 00:09:39,042
Obviously, it's for delicate tummies.
84
00:09:39,167 --> 00:09:42,334
Are you from Madagascar?
You ever been out the Tiber Valley?
85
00:09:42,459 --> 00:09:47,209
What do you mean?
The ass knows no boundaries.
86
00:09:47,334 --> 00:09:51,626
Prince Zampaglione,
your crown has slipped.
87
00:09:51,751 --> 00:09:54,042
Don't bend down to pick it up for me.
88
00:09:54,167 --> 00:09:59,083
Go away, go to Baccano,
he wants to talk to you.
89
00:09:59,209 --> 00:10:02,167
Here.
90
00:10:02,292 --> 00:10:06,792
Don't come here, go to Acciarito,
he's got new DVDs from Croatia.
91
00:10:06,918 --> 00:10:10,584
Take the papers to Don Pierino
and I'll give you Night Beauty.
92
00:10:10,709 --> 00:10:12,959
I'll go to Don Pierino.
93
00:10:13,125 --> 00:10:15,209
-You want Night Beauty?
-What?
94
00:10:15,334 --> 00:10:17,876
-Suck it!
-I'll stick it in the frying pan.
95
00:10:17,959 --> 00:10:21,709
Miranda, leave that loser,
96
00:10:21,834 --> 00:10:23,876
I've got a hectare of truffles!
97
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,584
Why are they all shouting at me today?
98
00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:31,209
Love, the produce
should be displayed on the stall,
99
00:10:31,334 --> 00:10:32,667
not on you.
100
00:10:33,751 --> 00:10:39,584
He's got everything I want!
101
00:10:40,459 --> 00:10:41,751
-Baccano.
-Hi.
102
00:10:41,876 --> 00:10:43,292
How's the pressure cooker?
103
00:10:43,417 --> 00:10:45,751
-It blew up.
-It happens.
104
00:10:48,959 --> 00:10:51,876
Primetta, how's the depressive?
105
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:56,876
Depressive? He's a total wreck,
he hasn't been out for two months,
106
00:10:57,000 --> 00:11:02,959
he didn't even go
to the wedding of the mayor's son.
107
00:11:03,083 --> 00:11:05,292
Oh, dear, here's hoping.
108
00:11:17,375 --> 00:11:19,417
How do I ring the bell to get him to open?
109
00:11:23,042 --> 00:11:25,292
With the final ring that long?
110
00:11:25,417 --> 00:11:27,792
You need to be Morricone to get in.
111
00:11:38,209 --> 00:11:40,834
-It's stuck on!
-What do you want me to do?
112
00:11:41,709 --> 00:11:42,918
Here we go.
113
00:11:43,834 --> 00:11:45,209
Good morning.
114
00:11:45,834 --> 00:11:48,626
Turin Technical College, great!
115
00:11:50,417 --> 00:11:53,918
I had to leave
the house today because of you.
116
00:11:54,042 --> 00:11:56,959
What do you mean?
You went out on to the landing.
117
00:11:57,083 --> 00:11:59,125
Don't you think you're overdoing it?
118
00:11:59,250 --> 00:12:03,667
You haven't said Mass for six weeks,
119
00:12:03,792 --> 00:12:07,626
the old women
in the village want to emigrate.
120
00:12:09,834 --> 00:12:12,751
I got this letter
from the Curia in Florence.
121
00:12:12,876 --> 00:12:14,709
Let's see.
122
00:12:16,417 --> 00:12:18,834
They want to check, word has got round.
123
00:12:20,042 --> 00:12:22,375
They want to replace me.
124
00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:25,876
Do you realise?
The Monsignor is coming here.
125
00:12:25,959 --> 00:12:29,042
If you're not back in church
in two weeks saying Mass, you're finished.
126
00:12:29,167 --> 00:12:31,417
-It's written here.
-They're right.
127
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:34,292
What? Let's go out.
128
00:12:34,417 --> 00:12:36,209
It's sunny.
129
00:12:37,542 --> 00:12:38,626
Let's go out.
130
00:12:41,083 --> 00:12:44,334
I've lost my faith, I've failed.
131
00:12:44,459 --> 00:12:46,083
Mother of God.
132
00:12:46,209 --> 00:12:48,792
Why do you see everything so black?
133
00:12:48,918 --> 00:12:54,334
It's a sign from God
that he wants you to stay with us here.
134
00:12:54,459 --> 00:12:56,209
Come on!
135
00:12:56,834 --> 00:12:59,250
Maybe you'll find your faith again.
136
00:12:59,375 --> 00:13:00,292
Follow me.
137
00:13:00,417 --> 00:13:03,959
That's the way, we always followed you!
138
00:13:04,083 --> 00:13:06,709
Let's have a nice walk.
139
00:13:07,459 --> 00:13:10,709
-Where will we go?
-Get out of my face.
140
00:13:13,167 --> 00:13:16,167
Look at this marvel!
141
00:13:16,292 --> 00:13:19,083
85 square metres,
142
00:13:19,209 --> 00:13:23,083
three windows
on to the street, as you can see,
143
00:13:23,209 --> 00:13:26,083
a nice bathroom there, there on the right.
144
00:13:26,209 --> 00:13:28,876
Over there,
there's a bathroom with shower in front.
145
00:13:28,959 --> 00:13:32,334
You can put your counter here,
1.40 metres.
146
00:13:32,459 --> 00:13:35,792
Your cash register, your stand.
You're the second people to come.
147
00:13:35,918 --> 00:13:39,459
A Chinese baker
has already made me an offer,
148
00:13:39,626 --> 00:13:42,626
he makes yellow biscuits.
149
00:13:43,542 --> 00:13:46,918
In summer, you can sell fruit
and veg in the open air,
150
00:13:47,042 --> 00:13:49,751
have a little counter in the wall.
151
00:13:50,250 --> 00:13:53,959
The council won't give a permit now,
but with the new government,
152
00:13:54,125 --> 00:13:55,834
and there'll be an amnesty.
153
00:13:55,959 --> 00:14:00,876
Then, if they insist, say,
"There was already a counter in the wall.
154
00:14:00,959 --> 00:14:04,959
Check the land register!
There wasn't? There was!"
155
00:14:05,083 --> 00:14:08,751
Floor any way you like,
fruit on the right, veg on the left.
156
00:14:08,876 --> 00:14:11,959
-The other way about.
-What the fuck do I care?
157
00:14:12,125 --> 00:14:15,709
Idea! Put a sofa here.
158
00:14:15,834 --> 00:14:18,709
Why have a sofa in a grocer's?
159
00:14:18,834 --> 00:14:22,375
The old ladies will come more willingly,
160
00:14:22,542 --> 00:14:25,334
because they can sit down
and rest their varicose veins.
161
00:14:25,459 --> 00:14:26,876
I'll take 4% from you.
162
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:31,667
They want 160,
we offer 140 and you get it for 150.
163
00:14:31,792 --> 00:14:34,209
I haven't understood a thing,
how much is it?
164
00:14:34,334 --> 00:14:37,542
-Who cares, get a mortgage.
-For how much?
165
00:14:37,667 --> 00:14:38,959
Right…
166
00:14:41,167 --> 00:14:44,959
Love, we've got 25,000,
my mum will give us 15,000.
167
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,167
Didn't she say 20,000?
168
00:14:49,292 --> 00:14:51,083
She's started playing poker again.
169
00:14:51,209 --> 00:14:53,667
At the age of 70!
170
00:14:53,792 --> 00:14:55,959
Another 10,000 for the caravan.
171
00:14:56,125 --> 00:15:00,792
We're not selling the caravan,
that's our little house by the sea.
172
00:15:00,918 --> 00:15:01,834
We'll take a tent!
173
00:15:01,959 --> 00:15:05,584
We're too old for a tent, it's damp,
174
00:15:05,709 --> 00:15:09,167
you get rheumatism.
175
00:15:09,292 --> 00:15:12,083
You need to take risks in life.
176
00:15:12,209 --> 00:15:16,959
I know you need to take risks,
I'd be the first to agree with that,
177
00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:20,667
but they won't give us
a mortgage for 150,000,
178
00:15:20,792 --> 00:15:22,542
we don't own the house.
179
00:15:22,667 --> 00:15:25,876
All we own is the van
and it's got an insurance claim pending.
180
00:15:25,959 --> 00:15:28,167
Can we give that as a guarantee?
181
00:15:28,292 --> 00:15:30,250
We also have to pay the road tax.
182
00:15:30,375 --> 00:15:35,667
-We'll play our joker!
-From where, from heaven?
183
00:15:51,375 --> 00:15:55,417
Bettina, stop it,
184
00:15:55,584 --> 00:15:58,042
I've been married for ten years.
185
00:16:24,959 --> 00:16:28,375
Romeo, are you here in summer too?
Weren't you going to Lerici?
186
00:16:28,542 --> 00:16:32,542
My whore of a wife's there,
we've split up again,
187
00:16:32,667 --> 00:16:34,209
for good this time.
188
00:16:35,334 --> 00:16:36,334
Here we go!
189
00:16:36,459 --> 00:16:39,959
-We're the only survivors.
-Like Mickey and Minnie!
190
00:16:42,792 --> 00:16:46,334
Tomato, did you bring
the wig to test it in the sun?
191
00:16:46,459 --> 00:16:49,584
No, I want to offer it
to the lifeguard, he looks half-queer.
192
00:16:50,125 --> 00:16:55,292
-All together tonight?
-We don't have much choice here.
193
00:16:55,417 --> 00:16:57,626
Did you bring the sausages?
194
00:16:57,751 --> 00:17:00,959
Steak, sausages
and chops, a vegetarian meal.
195
00:17:01,083 --> 00:17:03,584
I see the boy's on a diet.
196
00:17:03,709 --> 00:17:07,876
I don't know if he's inflating
the ring or vice-versa!
197
00:17:08,459 --> 00:17:10,834
No chops for you tonight.
198
00:17:10,959 --> 00:17:13,667
-A sausage.
-One!
199
00:17:13,792 --> 00:17:16,959
When I speak with you,
you always make me nervous,
200
00:17:17,125 --> 00:17:20,167
when you have money,
you always land on your feet.
201
00:17:20,292 --> 00:17:23,626
It's always a question of money,
I'll tell you this,
202
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:25,667
you who're talking
about people with money.
203
00:17:25,792 --> 00:17:29,375
John Travolta has got two planes
parked in his garden.
204
00:17:29,542 --> 00:17:32,792
I've got my mother-in-law
parked on the settee every weekend.
205
00:17:32,918 --> 00:17:34,751
Who's worse off?
206
00:17:35,375 --> 00:17:38,542
The mother-in-law's going to leave you
the house by the sea,
207
00:17:38,667 --> 00:17:41,876
otherwise no way would she be there,
208
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:44,125
you wouldn't have her in the garage.
209
00:17:44,250 --> 00:17:47,959
Everyone has a price.
210
00:17:48,792 --> 00:17:52,417
If I had the money, I'd buy you.
211
00:17:52,584 --> 00:17:53,876
Tomato is right.
212
00:17:54,918 --> 00:18:01,042
I didn't want to say
but do you know what Simonetta did?
213
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:04,167
-Who?
-My hairdresser friend.
214
00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:07,542
Mind your own business!
215
00:18:08,083 --> 00:18:10,792
She confided in me,
216
00:18:10,918 --> 00:18:12,834
made me swear not to tell.
217
00:18:12,959 --> 00:18:15,959
She put the news in the bank!
What did the whore do?
218
00:18:16,834 --> 00:18:20,292
She went dancing,
219
00:18:20,417 --> 00:18:24,876
an American of about 50
came up to her and said,
220
00:18:24,959 --> 00:18:29,334
"What a lovely mouth!
Would you come with me for 5,000 dollars?"
221
00:18:29,459 --> 00:18:31,584
Did she report him?
222
00:18:31,709 --> 00:18:33,250
Yeah, right.
223
00:18:33,375 --> 00:18:36,876
She loaded him up in the car
without a second thought.
224
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:41,792
Hairdressing's a cover,
otherwise how did she get a 3-room house?
225
00:18:41,918 --> 00:18:43,959
-She asked for a mortgage.
-Yeah, from the American
226
00:18:44,083 --> 00:18:45,751
and he gave her it with interest!
227
00:18:45,876 --> 00:18:50,584
Whatever! She took
a shower and paid her mortgage.
228
00:18:50,709 --> 00:18:53,751
Not like us, breaking our backs every day.
229
00:18:53,876 --> 00:18:56,834
Tell the American to come to me.
230
00:18:56,959 --> 00:18:58,125
Make her stop drinking.
231
00:18:58,250 --> 00:19:02,125
Benedetta, you're making Baccano nervous.
232
00:19:02,250 --> 00:19:06,334
-Think about it, hypothetically.
-All right.
233
00:19:06,459 --> 00:19:08,542
You're so clever,
234
00:19:09,250 --> 00:19:13,042
a sheik comes from Minnesota.
235
00:19:13,709 --> 00:19:15,125
Minnesota.
236
00:19:15,250 --> 00:19:20,417
He looks at you and says,
"I like you, I want to bugger you."
237
00:19:21,292 --> 00:19:24,167
-Just as well it was a sheik!
-Wait.
238
00:19:24,292 --> 00:19:27,209
"I'll give you 50,000 euros
for your buns."
239
00:19:30,918 --> 00:19:31,751
She's drunk.
240
00:19:35,334 --> 00:19:40,250
50,000? No, dear sheik.
241
00:19:40,375 --> 00:19:45,459
You can keep your 50,000 euros
242
00:19:45,667 --> 00:19:46,626
for my buns.
243
00:19:46,792 --> 00:19:47,709
Good man!
244
00:19:47,834 --> 00:19:53,459
This sheik, whom nobody
has ever refused before,
245
00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:55,834
comes back and says to you,
246
00:19:55,959 --> 00:20:01,459
"I won't give you 50,000 euros,
you want to know how much?"
247
00:20:01,626 --> 00:20:04,334
-Let's hear it.
-You want to know?
248
00:20:04,459 --> 00:20:05,959
She'll tell us now.
249
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,918
"I'll give you 500,000"!
250
00:20:14,834 --> 00:20:17,709
Right, will we split these buns?
251
00:20:17,834 --> 00:20:19,125
The famous bun-ana split!
252
00:20:20,584 --> 00:20:24,334
Are you going to give me your buns or not?
253
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,751
The buns!
254
00:20:40,626 --> 00:20:41,792
She's been drinking!
255
00:20:41,918 --> 00:20:43,083
500,000…
256
00:20:49,918 --> 00:20:52,459
What? You're even thinking about it?
257
00:20:53,209 --> 00:20:57,292
-What?
-Answer the sheik.
258
00:21:04,876 --> 00:21:07,375
"No, sheik of Minnesota,
259
00:21:07,542 --> 00:21:12,959
you have money to burn,
but I'm not giving you my buns!"
260
00:21:13,125 --> 00:21:14,584
-Rent them to him.
-No.
261
00:21:15,125 --> 00:21:18,250
They're not for rent or sale.
262
00:21:18,375 --> 00:21:20,167
And you can't download them either.
263
00:21:20,292 --> 00:21:25,876
Let's go to bed,
we're never going to meet this sheik!
264
00:21:25,959 --> 00:21:28,334
Come on, bed.
265
00:21:28,459 --> 00:21:31,167
You've drunk too much,
take this boiler to bed.
266
00:21:32,042 --> 00:21:35,626
-You going to bed?
-You've broken my balls.
267
00:21:36,167 --> 00:21:38,459
Guys, good night.
268
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:41,959
The sheik, 500,000 euros.
269
00:21:47,876 --> 00:21:52,292
-Will I give you the 35?
-Martina, at this distance?
270
00:21:52,959 --> 00:21:54,584
I'll give you the telephoto lens.
271
00:21:55,751 --> 00:21:58,626
With this light,
the service will be rubbish.
272
00:21:58,751 --> 00:22:02,167
What do our readers care
about statues of Garibaldi?
273
00:22:03,042 --> 00:22:04,834
At least we'd a good lunch.
274
00:22:04,959 --> 00:22:07,542
You're enjoying your food nowadays!
275
00:22:08,292 --> 00:22:09,918
Are you putting on weight?
276
00:22:12,167 --> 00:22:15,375
What do you like doing apart from eating?
277
00:22:16,918 --> 00:22:19,918
Hardly anything, I get bored quickly.
278
00:22:21,042 --> 00:22:22,959
That's why we get on.
279
00:22:23,584 --> 00:22:25,334
I get bored quickly too,
280
00:22:26,334 --> 00:22:28,209
and I don't like anything.
281
00:22:36,292 --> 00:22:38,209
Hardly anything.
282
00:22:42,876 --> 00:22:43,834
The fruit?
283
00:22:46,542 --> 00:22:47,584
In front.
284
00:22:48,292 --> 00:22:50,542
-The van!
-Behind.
285
00:22:51,626 --> 00:22:52,959
The umbrella.
286
00:22:53,667 --> 00:22:54,918
Beneath.
287
00:22:55,042 --> 00:22:57,083
The stall.
288
00:23:03,626 --> 00:23:05,250
A lot better than Garibaldi.
289
00:23:15,792 --> 00:23:18,709
You want me to believe she's not a model?
290
00:23:19,209 --> 00:23:24,209
She's got a stall at the market,
she gets up at dawn and sells fruit.
291
00:23:24,334 --> 00:23:25,542
I took them in secret.
292
00:23:25,667 --> 00:23:29,083
She's a bomb!
293
00:23:29,209 --> 00:23:31,167
She's certainly something else.
294
00:23:32,042 --> 00:23:35,250
If we do the calendar with her,
295
00:23:35,375 --> 00:23:36,918
think of the publicity!
296
00:23:37,042 --> 00:23:39,000
We'll put her on all the talk shows.
297
00:23:39,626 --> 00:23:42,459
"Italy's sexiest woman
sells fruit and veg."
298
00:23:42,626 --> 00:23:44,042
Women will go for it,
299
00:23:44,167 --> 00:23:46,125
she's not a pretty girlfriend
for a footballer.
300
00:23:46,250 --> 00:23:49,292
Very normal people will identify with her
301
00:23:49,417 --> 00:23:50,959
and it'll sell 100,000 copies.
302
00:23:51,083 --> 00:23:52,459
The first edition!
303
00:23:52,959 --> 00:23:55,751
I thought about it a lot
before bringing you them.
304
00:23:56,626 --> 00:24:01,417
Tell me what to offer her
and I'll bring you 12 heart-attack shots.
305
00:24:01,959 --> 00:24:04,250
Careful, I've got three by-passes.
306
00:24:06,834 --> 00:24:07,667
Let's see…
307
00:24:08,667 --> 00:24:11,417
Love, you here?
308
00:24:11,584 --> 00:24:13,667
Uncle, before he died,
309
00:24:13,792 --> 00:24:16,876
left us his goldfish,
he says they're like us,
310
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:19,209
always hanging on to each other.
311
00:24:19,334 --> 00:24:24,876
But you need to feed them,
they can't live on love alone.
312
00:24:24,959 --> 00:24:26,209
Come on!
313
00:24:28,959 --> 00:24:31,167
They're looking at the sachet.
314
00:24:31,292 --> 00:24:34,083
It's not food, it's yeast.
315
00:24:34,209 --> 00:24:38,792
If I give you this you'll become sea bass
and we'll cook you with potatoes.
316
00:24:38,918 --> 00:24:41,250
Love, am I talking to myself?
317
00:24:41,375 --> 00:24:44,918
What is this music box? Where are you?
318
00:24:45,042 --> 00:24:45,959
Here.
319
00:24:48,751 --> 00:24:51,292
Love?
320
00:24:51,417 --> 00:24:53,125
Are you somewhere else?
321
00:24:56,167 --> 00:24:57,334
What's this check?
322
00:25:00,417 --> 00:25:01,250
Give!
323
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:08,959
50,000 euros made out to you?
324
00:25:09,834 --> 00:25:12,959
Your mum won at poker?
325
00:25:13,959 --> 00:25:17,417
They want me to do a nude calendar,
326
00:25:18,626 --> 00:25:19,792
covered with fruit.
327
00:25:19,918 --> 00:25:23,167
They say I'm photogenic.
328
00:25:23,292 --> 00:25:24,876
Who gave you this money?
329
00:25:24,959 --> 00:25:28,334
Andrea, this really elegant photographer
330
00:25:28,459 --> 00:25:31,792
who speaks posh,
I didn't understand a thing.
331
00:25:31,918 --> 00:25:35,334
If I accept, I can keep it,
332
00:25:35,459 --> 00:25:39,375
otherwise he'll pick it up in three days.
333
00:25:39,542 --> 00:25:41,292
A fruit calendar?
334
00:25:41,417 --> 00:25:44,834
For the magazine Beautiful Life,
full of lovely things.
335
00:25:46,042 --> 00:25:48,626
They're looking for somebody normal
336
00:25:49,918 --> 00:25:52,334
and they chose me.
337
00:25:53,125 --> 00:25:57,042
Normal people
don't pose nude covered in fruit!
338
00:25:57,167 --> 00:26:01,042
You're right, here's his mobile.
339
00:26:01,959 --> 00:26:04,959
You speak to him, these 50,000 euros
340
00:26:05,125 --> 00:26:06,792
have exhausted me.
341
00:26:13,292 --> 00:26:14,250
Hello?
342
00:26:14,375 --> 00:26:18,876
This is Mariano, the grocer,
the husband of the photogenic wife.
343
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:20,125
Is that Andrea?
344
00:26:20,250 --> 00:26:23,209
I was expecting your call.
345
00:26:23,334 --> 00:26:25,375
And here I am.
346
00:26:25,542 --> 00:26:27,250
You want to know more?
347
00:26:27,375 --> 00:26:30,584
Why all nude in the fruit?
348
00:26:30,709 --> 00:26:33,417
January, February, March, April,
349
00:26:33,584 --> 00:26:36,167
it's a calendar, every month
has a different fruit in season.
350
00:26:36,292 --> 00:26:41,042
Could she not have some clothes on,
in winter at least?
351
00:26:41,167 --> 00:26:44,125
Mr. Stoppani,
homo quisque faber ipse fortunae suae.
352
00:26:44,250 --> 00:26:46,792
That's right,
though I didn't understand a fucking word!
353
00:26:47,959 --> 00:26:50,375
Here we say,
354
00:26:50,542 --> 00:26:54,250
"When the wife's undressed,
everyone's impressed."
355
00:26:54,375 --> 00:26:55,959
I wish!
356
00:26:56,125 --> 00:27:00,876
As I said,
you've got three days to decide.
357
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:03,959
I'll call you back on Friday,
say hello to your wife.
358
00:27:04,083 --> 00:27:07,626
A calendar isn't a betrayal, but business.
359
00:27:13,959 --> 00:27:15,876
What did he say?
360
00:27:17,167 --> 00:27:18,167
What did he say?
361
00:27:18,959 --> 00:27:19,876
What?
362
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:22,751
Same as he said to you.
363
00:27:22,876 --> 00:27:25,918
Then he starts talking posh
and you don't understand a thing.
364
00:27:26,417 --> 00:27:30,918
-He said a calendar isn't a betrayal.
-It's business.
365
00:27:31,042 --> 00:27:31,918
It's business.
366
00:27:32,042 --> 00:27:34,417
-He said the same to me.
-He said the same to me.
367
00:27:36,918 --> 00:27:38,751
Nude in fruit.
368
00:27:40,250 --> 00:27:42,876
Without even a little scarf.
369
00:28:55,417 --> 00:28:56,834
Better that way.
370
00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:00,959
I put it aside.
371
00:29:03,959 --> 00:29:05,709
You usually put it there.
372
00:29:06,334 --> 00:29:09,459
-Here it is. Thanks. Bye.
-Good. Bye.
373
00:29:10,417 --> 00:29:13,375
-Hi, Acciarito.
-You not got rehearsals?
374
00:29:13,542 --> 00:29:16,959
-If you want, I'll go.
-You're not nimble enough to dance.
375
00:29:17,083 --> 00:29:18,834
Give me
376
00:29:19,292 --> 00:29:22,834
a calendar.
377
00:29:23,375 --> 00:29:24,834
Give me a calendar.
378
00:29:26,292 --> 00:29:27,209
Hi, Mariano.
379
00:29:27,334 --> 00:29:30,876
Ciciarelli, how are you?
Christian Family for me.
380
00:29:30,959 --> 00:29:33,792
-And the calendar.
-What?
381
00:29:33,918 --> 00:29:36,959
You go first, you've got a kid.
382
00:29:37,083 --> 00:29:39,167
Pokemon.
383
00:29:39,292 --> 00:29:42,083
-Put it on the slate.
-Put it on the slate.
384
00:29:42,209 --> 00:29:43,751
Give me the calendar.
385
00:29:44,375 --> 00:29:47,584
-Naked women, you as well?
-Do you sell a lot?
386
00:29:47,709 --> 00:29:49,959
It's not a sale, it's a census,
387
00:29:50,125 --> 00:29:53,959
I know the exact number of wankers
in the town and surrounding area
388
00:29:54,083 --> 00:29:55,417
and there are lots.
389
00:29:55,584 --> 00:29:56,918
Whatever.
390
00:29:57,042 --> 00:29:59,000
-On the slate.
-Christian Family?
391
00:29:59,959 --> 00:30:01,709
Read it already.
392
00:30:17,751 --> 00:30:18,876
Dad!
393
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:34,334
Stop!
394
00:30:35,959 --> 00:30:37,959
I didn't do it deliberately.
395
00:30:38,876 --> 00:30:41,250
You really hurt me.
396
00:30:41,375 --> 00:30:43,918
Baccano, you're the pits.
397
00:30:44,709 --> 00:30:46,584
Sure, it's for fun,
398
00:30:46,709 --> 00:30:50,292
you're an amateur group,
but there's a limit to good taste.
399
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:53,834
You're not dancing,
you're losing your dignity.
400
00:30:53,959 --> 00:30:55,876
Listen, you avant-garde director,
401
00:30:55,959 --> 00:30:57,959
I always had Mariano
beside me in rehearsal,
402
00:30:58,125 --> 00:31:01,626
if he's not here, I'll launch
just the same, I'm a professional.
403
00:31:01,751 --> 00:31:03,667
I'm speechless.
404
00:31:03,792 --> 00:31:07,375
Stop it with the "I'm speechless",
you've crushed them!
405
00:31:08,083 --> 00:31:13,375
But you still have your hand out
for your money every month!
406
00:31:18,083 --> 00:31:20,250
They always fight, they're mad.
407
00:31:20,375 --> 00:31:22,918
-Well?
-Forget it.
408
00:31:23,042 --> 00:31:25,584
-Why?
-What a mess!
409
00:31:25,709 --> 00:31:27,334
What a mess?
410
00:31:27,459 --> 00:31:28,417
I did my best.
411
00:31:28,584 --> 00:31:34,250
Baccano launched Puddu like a missile.
412
00:31:34,375 --> 00:31:36,918
I'm not enjoying this any more,
too much dancing.
413
00:31:37,042 --> 00:31:40,417
Can't we do Frankenstein?
I'll be the monster.
414
00:31:40,959 --> 00:31:42,542
Look at that babe!
415
00:31:44,959 --> 00:31:49,542
Beautiful. Go and get changed.
416
00:31:49,667 --> 00:31:51,709
The snack machine's out there.
417
00:31:51,834 --> 00:31:54,125
What is it?
418
00:31:54,250 --> 00:31:56,584
A slut!
419
00:31:58,209 --> 00:32:00,792
Why a "slut"?
420
00:32:01,375 --> 00:32:05,209
You ever spent a June like that?
421
00:32:05,334 --> 00:32:09,292
-He's asking why she's a "slut"!
-She's a model.
422
00:32:09,959 --> 00:32:13,876
They asked to do a calendar
and maybe they gave her a load of money.
423
00:32:13,959 --> 00:32:16,209
-So why "slut"?
-Rich slut!
424
00:32:16,834 --> 00:32:20,417
You're so small-town!
425
00:32:20,584 --> 00:32:25,667
These terrible comments
about these professionals.
426
00:32:25,792 --> 00:32:30,542
-It's 3000.
-Did I miss something?
427
00:32:30,667 --> 00:32:32,459
It's nearly 3000,
428
00:32:32,626 --> 00:32:34,209
you need to…
429
00:32:34,334 --> 00:32:37,459
It's like we always…
430
00:32:37,626 --> 00:32:40,459
The man can say, the woman can't.
431
00:32:40,626 --> 00:32:43,459
The man can speak,
the woman has to listen.
432
00:32:43,626 --> 00:32:47,167
The man can speak
or the woman could listen as well
433
00:32:47,292 --> 00:32:51,626
and speak, in the sense that…
434
00:32:51,751 --> 00:32:55,918
That calendar, who left it there?
435
00:32:56,542 --> 00:32:59,375
It seems to me
436
00:32:59,542 --> 00:33:00,959
that you should
437
00:33:01,083 --> 00:33:03,709
at a certain point in your lives
438
00:33:04,542 --> 00:33:06,751
open your minds.
439
00:33:10,709 --> 00:33:12,918
You know what I'd open for her?
440
00:33:13,542 --> 00:33:16,792
Don't tell me, I think I know.
441
00:33:16,918 --> 00:33:20,334
See you during the week.
442
00:33:22,292 --> 00:33:23,667
Let's see July.
443
00:33:23,792 --> 00:33:27,876
Better not, it'll straighten your quiff!
444
00:33:27,959 --> 00:33:30,125
-Show us July.
-Better not to.
445
00:33:30,250 --> 00:33:32,792
Stay on June, it's fine.
446
00:33:33,626 --> 00:33:36,918
The calendar trial went badly.
447
00:33:38,417 --> 00:33:39,667
What's that?
448
00:33:44,125 --> 00:33:48,876
Don't be angry
but this was a decision I had to make.
449
00:33:49,375 --> 00:33:51,709
I thought about it over and over,
450
00:33:51,834 --> 00:33:56,542
and I decided I want to do the calendar,
451
00:33:56,667 --> 00:34:00,626
I want to do those absurd, filthy poses.
452
00:34:00,751 --> 00:34:04,167
But, dear Mariano, I want to do it
453
00:34:04,292 --> 00:34:05,876
just for you!
454
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:08,959
Get the Polaroid
and hurry to the bathroom.
455
00:34:13,417 --> 00:34:14,459
You like January?
456
00:34:15,334 --> 00:34:18,667
Let's do a 20-month calendar!
457
00:34:23,167 --> 00:34:24,834
To the last drop!
458
00:34:29,125 --> 00:34:33,959
Take the Polaroid
and I'll do a calendar for you.
459
00:34:35,751 --> 00:34:37,209
Shoot!
460
00:34:37,334 --> 00:34:41,125
Let's do March.
461
00:34:45,542 --> 00:34:46,459
April.
462
00:35:10,876 --> 00:35:13,959
Listen, I'm a bit drunk,
463
00:35:14,125 --> 00:35:17,375
you know I can't hold my champagne.
464
00:35:17,542 --> 00:35:19,417
But when it's over,
465
00:35:19,584 --> 00:35:22,876
we could go to our bed
466
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:26,751
and set about making a baby.
467
00:35:27,667 --> 00:35:29,292
I've already chosen the names.
468
00:35:29,417 --> 00:35:33,584
If it's a girl, Dawn,
469
00:35:34,125 --> 00:35:35,876
if it's a boy,
470
00:35:37,375 --> 00:35:38,792
Dusk.
471
00:35:39,667 --> 00:35:42,751
Dusk's not a name.
472
00:35:42,876 --> 00:35:45,918
It's a beautiful earth name,
a people's name.
473
00:35:46,042 --> 00:35:48,626
At least six of my cousins
are called Dusk.
474
00:35:49,459 --> 00:35:51,876
Nobody's called Dusk.
475
00:35:51,959 --> 00:35:53,584
Come on, let's do it,
476
00:35:53,709 --> 00:35:57,167
he'll be as beautiful as his name.
477
00:36:00,626 --> 00:36:04,250
Dawn and Dusk, and then
we'll really have everything.
478
00:36:10,250 --> 00:36:15,334
Just think, "Dusk, help me
get the jujubes off the truck!
479
00:36:15,459 --> 00:36:18,876
Dawn can't help me."
480
00:36:19,375 --> 00:36:21,042
-She's a girl.
-She's a girl.
481
00:36:21,167 --> 00:36:26,042
I've got bun-anas!
482
00:36:26,167 --> 00:36:28,918
Ladies, today the Korean pan,
483
00:36:29,042 --> 00:36:31,876
non-stick, non-slip, moth-proof.
484
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:36,125
Big one 15 euros, small 10 euros.
485
00:36:36,250 --> 00:36:38,626
Can I do a trout with this?
486
00:36:38,751 --> 00:36:40,667
You still like fish at your age?
487
00:36:40,792 --> 00:36:42,834
And you still like leching at yours?
488
00:36:42,959 --> 00:36:46,042
I try to be nice to sell things.
489
00:36:46,167 --> 00:36:49,626
What a lovely pair,
everyone will stop and stare!
490
00:36:49,751 --> 00:36:52,792
He's so poetic today!
491
00:36:52,918 --> 00:36:55,584
Ungaretti, that's two months of credit,
492
00:36:55,709 --> 00:36:58,417
are you going to give me some money?
493
00:36:58,584 --> 00:37:01,876
I give it to your wife,
she's the best place for it.
494
00:37:01,959 --> 00:37:04,626
She's like Luxembourg, she's not a woman,
495
00:37:04,751 --> 00:37:06,375
she's a tax haven.
496
00:37:06,542 --> 00:37:07,751
Yeah, right.
497
00:37:12,042 --> 00:37:14,834
How much are the cherries?
498
00:37:14,959 --> 00:37:18,042
They're special,
they're sweeter than candyfloss.
499
00:37:18,167 --> 00:37:20,000
And how much are they?
500
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:24,375
Mariano, look who's here.
501
00:37:24,542 --> 00:37:25,792
Who?
502
00:37:26,876 --> 00:37:29,417
Is it the insurance guy about the van?
503
00:37:29,584 --> 00:37:31,209
-I'll tell you what happened.
-No.
504
00:37:31,334 --> 00:37:33,959
What happened was this.
505
00:37:34,125 --> 00:37:37,876
That idiot put his indicator
on after the accident.
506
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:39,876
I've got eyewitnesses.
507
00:37:39,959 --> 00:37:42,250
Baccano, when did he indicate?
508
00:37:42,959 --> 00:37:45,334
-The idiot from the accident?
-Yes.
509
00:37:45,459 --> 00:37:46,876
After the crash.
510
00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:50,459
We're ready to testify in court.
511
00:37:50,626 --> 00:37:52,876
There's no need.
512
00:37:52,959 --> 00:37:54,792
Rather, let's do a deal,
513
00:37:54,918 --> 00:37:58,834
let's deal, is that what you say?
514
00:37:58,959 --> 00:38:00,876
No, you say
you've made a fool of yourself.
515
00:38:00,959 --> 00:38:04,083
-Why?
-He's the calendar photographer.
516
00:38:04,209 --> 00:38:06,959
-Hello.
-Hello.
517
00:38:07,125 --> 00:38:11,042
I'm sorry, you could have phoned
and we'd have told you.
518
00:38:11,959 --> 00:38:16,250
We've decided the calendar's not on,
here's your check.
519
00:38:17,042 --> 00:38:20,459
We could have used the money,
520
00:38:20,626 --> 00:38:23,083
50,000 isn't to be sneezed at,
521
00:38:23,209 --> 00:38:27,959
but we'd be embarrassed
being nude in the fruit.
522
00:38:28,125 --> 00:38:29,876
We'd be embarrassed!
523
00:38:29,959 --> 00:38:34,792
I'm sorry you came all this way,
we'll give you some peaches, prunes,
524
00:38:34,918 --> 00:38:36,375
but we're not doing it.
525
00:38:36,542 --> 00:38:39,375
Miranda, are you really sure?
526
00:38:39,542 --> 00:38:43,459
No, there's no point asking
after the explanation.
527
00:38:43,626 --> 00:38:45,459
Miranda doesn't accept.
528
00:38:46,042 --> 00:38:48,626
Yes, really, I'm sorry.
529
00:38:49,918 --> 00:38:53,042
You were very nice,
530
00:38:53,167 --> 00:38:56,417
-but I can't, it's not my scene.
-She can't.
531
00:38:56,584 --> 00:38:58,709
It's not about the money,
532
00:38:58,834 --> 00:39:01,792
it's that I really am embarrassed.
533
00:39:01,918 --> 00:39:02,959
She embarrasses easily.
534
00:39:03,083 --> 00:39:07,334
Well, I'll be off, shame.
535
00:39:07,459 --> 00:39:08,834
Yeah, shame.
536
00:39:08,959 --> 00:39:11,792
You could have spent
a week in the Seychelles.
537
00:39:13,334 --> 00:39:17,042
-That's where the shoot is.
-Nice place, good choice!
538
00:39:17,167 --> 00:39:18,918
Furthermore,
539
00:39:19,042 --> 00:39:20,626
just to let you know,
540
00:39:20,751 --> 00:39:22,959
the publisher had raised his offer.
541
00:39:27,709 --> 00:39:31,167
Just to let us know, the editor,
542
00:39:31,292 --> 00:39:34,709
what would he have paid us,
just to let us know?
543
00:39:36,834 --> 00:39:37,876
I'll write it down.
544
00:39:38,375 --> 00:39:44,083
He'll write it, just to let us know.
545
00:39:47,834 --> 00:39:50,334
Miranda, where's the parsley?
546
00:40:15,459 --> 00:40:19,959
I'm going for the trip,
you do the fucking calendar,
547
00:40:20,125 --> 00:40:21,918
see you at 5:00 pm.
548
00:40:22,042 --> 00:40:24,959
Put your hat on, you'll burn here.
549
00:40:25,125 --> 00:40:28,751
My family's got tough skin,
550
00:40:28,876 --> 00:40:31,918
my uncle was a lifeguard.
551
00:40:32,667 --> 00:40:34,876
Aladdin, did you bring the anchovy pasta?
552
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:39,876
-My name is Said.
-Don't get upset.
553
00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:43,667
It's not my fault
you look like the genie of the lamp.
554
00:40:43,792 --> 00:40:47,918
Don't let me get too wet, I've just eaten.
555
00:40:48,042 --> 00:40:49,959
-Did the tsunami strike here?
-No, sir.
556
00:40:50,083 --> 00:40:54,292
Don't call me "sir", my name is Barbetta,
557
00:40:54,417 --> 00:40:57,250
Mr Barbetta, if you have to.
558
00:40:57,375 --> 00:41:01,959
Do you have a union
or is all the work on the black market?
559
00:41:04,250 --> 00:41:09,417
Are you taking the wrap off,
or are we doing a winter calendar?
560
00:41:10,584 --> 00:41:11,876
You think it's easy?
561
00:41:11,959 --> 00:41:14,876
I'm not used to being naked
in front of so many strangers.
562
00:41:14,959 --> 00:41:19,542
We're working, we're used to it.
563
00:41:20,417 --> 00:41:23,751
I'm tempted not to do it.
564
00:41:23,876 --> 00:41:26,334
This isn't the time for a crisis.
565
00:41:27,042 --> 00:41:30,000
I'll count to three,
566
00:41:31,083 --> 00:41:33,042
at three, lose the wrap.
567
00:41:35,083 --> 00:41:39,000
One, two, three.
568
00:41:56,209 --> 00:41:58,167
What's with those faces?
569
00:42:01,334 --> 00:42:03,792
I thought you were used to it!
570
00:42:07,083 --> 00:42:11,667
Tell me something,
are there any fish here?
571
00:42:11,792 --> 00:42:13,167
We still haven't caught anything.
572
00:42:13,292 --> 00:42:16,584
There's everything here,
fish, tortoises, paradise!
573
00:42:19,125 --> 00:42:22,334
Do you have fog here?
574
00:42:22,459 --> 00:42:23,584
What's fog?
575
00:42:23,709 --> 00:42:27,459
A chemical reaction
between the sky and the Earth,
576
00:42:27,626 --> 00:42:30,083
when there's the fog, you see fuck-all.
577
00:42:30,209 --> 00:42:32,292
-What color is it?
-No color.
578
00:42:32,417 --> 00:42:33,792
What?
579
00:42:33,918 --> 00:42:38,417
No, it's like a low cloud.
580
00:42:39,292 --> 00:42:42,042
Does low cloud have a color? No.
581
00:42:42,167 --> 00:42:46,167
-What does it taste like?
-It doesn't taste of anything!
582
00:42:46,292 --> 00:42:48,542
It tastes of smog.
583
00:42:49,083 --> 00:42:52,709
-What's smog?
-All these questions!
584
00:42:52,834 --> 00:42:54,751
You're like my 4-year-old nephew.
585
00:42:54,876 --> 00:42:57,209
Damn me for asking you.
586
00:43:00,209 --> 00:43:01,250
What happened?
587
00:43:02,042 --> 00:43:06,250
-Typical small shark attack.
-Small? Start the engine.
588
00:43:06,375 --> 00:43:08,584
Hurry up, it'll eat us.
589
00:43:09,375 --> 00:43:11,167
-Come on!
-It won't start.
590
00:43:11,292 --> 00:43:12,417
Get it going!
591
00:43:13,083 --> 00:43:17,042
Damn you, I was better off with the shark.
592
00:43:17,167 --> 00:43:19,417
It's so heavy!
593
00:43:20,167 --> 00:43:22,959
Are you throwing
the fruit away afterward?
594
00:43:23,125 --> 00:43:27,334
It's 150 euros' worth, it's a sin.
595
00:43:27,459 --> 00:43:29,667
I'd take it with me if I could.
596
00:43:29,792 --> 00:43:33,918
Keep talking, it's more natural.
597
00:43:34,042 --> 00:43:36,709
You could have peeled the pineapple,
598
00:43:36,834 --> 00:43:38,542
it's scratching my back!
599
00:43:38,667 --> 00:43:43,042
Can two go on the scooter
or will you lose points on your license?
600
00:43:43,167 --> 00:43:44,876
I got my license with an exam, not points.
601
00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:48,709
I hope the police don't stop us.
602
00:43:48,834 --> 00:43:52,751
Here we are, Barbetta, a local restaurant,
603
00:43:52,876 --> 00:43:56,626
no tourists here,
you eat well and don't pay a lot.
604
00:43:56,751 --> 00:44:01,876
But what about the microbes?
And the water?
605
00:44:02,375 --> 00:44:05,125
All bollocks to sell
more medicine to you Europeans.
606
00:44:05,250 --> 00:44:08,083
Yeah, water's the same everywhere.
607
00:44:08,209 --> 00:44:11,584
Well done, you're starting to melt.
608
00:44:11,709 --> 00:44:14,250
I was right not to let Mariano come,
609
00:44:14,375 --> 00:44:16,709
you wouldn't have been so uninhibited.
610
00:44:16,834 --> 00:44:22,250
It seemed harder, but you just have to do
those magazine poses.
611
00:44:22,375 --> 00:44:25,876
Why did you get married so young?
612
00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:30,250
And then with a man,
it's not like you're the same age.
613
00:44:30,375 --> 00:44:33,959
There's 12 years' difference, but so what?
614
00:44:34,083 --> 00:44:36,459
In his head, he's younger than me.
615
00:44:36,626 --> 00:44:40,125
We've known each other
since we went to the campsite as kids,
616
00:44:40,250 --> 00:44:42,334
we still go.
617
00:44:42,459 --> 00:44:45,959
He was dating my cousin
and I was in love with him.
618
00:44:46,542 --> 00:44:48,709
I was skinny and had pigtails.
619
00:44:48,834 --> 00:44:50,709
One day he says to me,
620
00:44:50,834 --> 00:44:54,334
"Put a bay leaf on your head
and you'll look like a kebab."
621
00:44:55,125 --> 00:44:58,626
I lost my temper, kicked him in the balls,
622
00:44:58,751 --> 00:45:01,709
he doubled over and I kissed him.
623
00:45:01,834 --> 00:45:03,959
I was eight!
624
00:45:05,334 --> 00:45:08,292
Isn't your job tiring?
You're still a woman.
625
00:45:08,417 --> 00:45:12,918
Why? I get up early
and instead of going to the gym,
626
00:45:13,042 --> 00:45:15,167
I exercise at the market.
627
00:45:15,292 --> 00:45:17,792
Well, you're a fantastic woman.
628
00:45:19,125 --> 00:45:20,375
Fantastic.
629
00:45:22,334 --> 00:45:28,125
Why is it
you can't build a counter in the wall
630
00:45:28,250 --> 00:45:29,876
and then you can with the amnesty?
631
00:45:29,959 --> 00:45:31,709
What's this amnesty?
632
00:45:31,834 --> 00:45:35,292
You don't get it,
in Italy we have precise rules.
633
00:45:35,417 --> 00:45:36,584
Tell me again.
634
00:45:36,709 --> 00:45:39,209
I'm not allowed to build, but I do.
635
00:45:39,334 --> 00:45:40,209
But if you can't!
636
00:45:40,334 --> 00:45:44,292
Do you or don't you want
the counter in the wall?
637
00:45:44,417 --> 00:45:47,083
-I want it.
-So I build it.
638
00:45:47,209 --> 00:45:49,125
-But you can't.
-That's the trick!
639
00:45:49,792 --> 00:45:51,459
I can't, but I do,
640
00:45:51,626 --> 00:45:54,083
because then
there's an unexpected amnesty.
641
00:45:54,209 --> 00:45:55,834
Unexpected?
642
00:45:55,959 --> 00:45:59,042
Yes, you pay and keep your counter.
643
00:46:07,542 --> 00:46:10,083
What the fuck are you laughing at?
644
00:46:10,209 --> 00:46:13,000
-Tell me another.
-You want to hear?
645
00:46:15,167 --> 00:46:16,459
You want to hear?
646
00:46:16,959 --> 00:46:17,959
Council property tax!
647
00:46:21,751 --> 00:46:24,125
You've been oiling me for two hours!
648
00:46:25,959 --> 00:46:28,334
-What's it for?
-To be sexier.
649
00:46:28,459 --> 00:46:31,834
What an idiot I am,
I always used it to dress salads.
650
00:46:33,667 --> 00:46:36,334
Now you have to give me the max,
651
00:46:36,959 --> 00:46:38,959
bring a bit of Eros out of those peppers.
652
00:46:41,167 --> 00:46:45,417
-What will I do?
-Kiss them, lick them.
653
00:46:46,250 --> 00:46:48,876
Who told you this was sexy?
654
00:46:48,959 --> 00:46:51,083
I know things you don't know.
655
00:46:51,209 --> 00:46:54,792
I'll repeat it more slowly.
656
00:46:54,918 --> 00:46:59,083
Moustafa,
you pay for the house and it's yours.
657
00:46:59,209 --> 00:47:00,125
Up to here…
658
00:47:00,250 --> 00:47:06,876
The house is yours,
but every year you have to pay a tax.
659
00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:08,959
-Council property tax.
-Well done!
660
00:47:09,125 --> 00:47:11,459
But if you die,
661
00:47:11,626 --> 00:47:15,584
let's hope not, but it might happen.
662
00:47:15,709 --> 00:47:17,751
If you die, it's a double con,
663
00:47:17,876 --> 00:47:20,459
because you have to keep paying.
664
00:47:23,250 --> 00:47:26,584
-The dead can't pay.
-They can in Italy.
665
00:47:26,709 --> 00:47:29,542
-It's called inheritance tax.
-Like a mortgage.
666
00:47:29,667 --> 00:47:31,876
No, the mortgage
is when you ask the bank for money.
667
00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:35,125
-How does it work?
-I already explained!
668
00:47:35,918 --> 00:47:37,959
If you want money,
669
00:47:38,083 --> 00:47:40,167
the bank gives you it
and does you a favour,
670
00:47:40,292 --> 00:47:42,959
and that money costs seven,
eight per cent,
671
00:47:43,125 --> 00:47:46,709
but if you give your money to the bank
672
00:47:46,834 --> 00:47:49,375
you do the bank a favour,
but who knows why
673
00:47:49,542 --> 00:47:52,584
your money earns one, 1.5 per cent.
674
00:47:52,709 --> 00:47:55,042
You're the Third World!
675
00:47:56,667 --> 00:47:59,209
Life in Italy is simple,
676
00:47:59,334 --> 00:48:01,751
rob a bank, run away
677
00:48:01,876 --> 00:48:05,292
and if they catch you,
wait for the amnesty.
678
00:48:05,417 --> 00:48:09,918
That's not an amnesty, it's a pardon.
679
00:48:12,167 --> 00:48:14,626
Today is Thursday,
680
00:48:14,751 --> 00:48:18,959
on Sunday they're coming
from the Vatican to see if you're here,
681
00:48:19,083 --> 00:48:23,083
if they don't find you,
they'll close the church, send you away
682
00:48:23,209 --> 00:48:26,584
and bring in a Chinese substitute.
683
00:48:26,709 --> 00:48:29,876
-A Chinese priest?
-With spare parts for when he's ill.
684
00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:33,125
Do it for us faithful,
685
00:48:33,250 --> 00:48:35,042
you've always been there for us.
686
00:48:35,167 --> 00:48:39,959
You celebrated my wedding,
you baptized all our children,
687
00:48:40,125 --> 00:48:44,167
you gave Calosci a slap when he swore.
688
00:48:44,292 --> 00:48:47,751
You know us like the back of your hand,
don't abandon us.
689
00:48:47,876 --> 00:48:52,959
You have to swear to me
that on Sunday you'll go and say Mass.
690
00:48:54,167 --> 00:48:58,125
I'll come to Mass,
but remember I won't be there.
691
00:48:59,000 --> 00:49:02,209
I'll come,
but I won't be there, but I'll come.
692
00:49:18,792 --> 00:49:24,292
"Jesus was led into the wilderness
to be tempted by the devil,
693
00:49:24,417 --> 00:49:27,918
and after having fasted for 40 days
and 40 nights, he was hungry…
694
00:49:37,209 --> 00:49:39,083
Man does not live on bread alone,
695
00:49:39,209 --> 00:49:42,375
but on every word
that comes from the mouth of God.
696
00:49:42,542 --> 00:49:48,751
The devil led him to the holy city
and said to him…"
697
00:49:48,876 --> 00:49:51,292
Why did we come here?
698
00:49:51,417 --> 00:49:55,876
The church is full
and the priest is in his place.
699
00:49:55,959 --> 00:49:57,792
"…they will support you on their hands
700
00:49:57,918 --> 00:50:01,876
in case
you hurt your foot against a stone.
701
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:04,000
Jesus said to him…
702
00:50:06,918 --> 00:50:09,959
Jesus said to him…
703
00:50:10,959 --> 00:50:12,459
Jesus said to him…"
704
00:50:13,918 --> 00:50:15,042
Jesus said to him?
705
00:50:15,959 --> 00:50:18,125
Oh, God, he's stopped again.
706
00:50:21,751 --> 00:50:23,626
Jesus said,
707
00:50:23,751 --> 00:50:25,542
"Dear tempter,
708
00:50:25,667 --> 00:50:29,083
we try lots,
but they're only attempts, meantime,
709
00:50:29,209 --> 00:50:33,125
if I shut up, so will you."
710
00:50:34,125 --> 00:50:37,542
This is what Don Pierino
means with his silence.
711
00:50:37,667 --> 00:50:38,709
What's this?
712
00:50:38,834 --> 00:50:43,167
Don Pierino wants to put us to the test.
713
00:50:44,125 --> 00:50:49,876
What's new this Sunday
is a Mass that's interactat…
714
00:50:51,792 --> 00:50:57,125
Where there's interaction,
that is between us and him, him and us.
715
00:50:57,250 --> 00:51:01,375
Baccano, have you been drinking?
716
00:51:01,542 --> 00:51:02,751
Silence, sinner!
717
00:51:02,876 --> 00:51:05,876
There might be people here
who've never seen
718
00:51:05,959 --> 00:51:10,876
this sort of interactive Mass.
719
00:51:10,959 --> 00:51:12,584
They'll be asking…
720
00:51:15,250 --> 00:51:16,375
"Why?
721
00:51:17,292 --> 00:51:19,709
Who's that?
722
00:51:19,834 --> 00:51:21,125
Where are we?"
723
00:51:22,209 --> 00:51:25,209
There, now we've got a problem.
724
00:51:26,042 --> 00:51:30,959
Our Lord thought
when faced with the Evil One.
725
00:51:31,125 --> 00:51:32,334
The really Evil One!
726
00:51:32,459 --> 00:51:38,876
Dear brothers and sisters,
let's end this wonderful Mass
727
00:51:38,959 --> 00:51:42,584
the way Don Pierino would like,
singing and praising the Lord.
728
00:51:42,709 --> 00:51:46,959
Tomato, come to the altar.
729
00:51:47,125 --> 00:51:50,125
-Sibaldi, run to the instrument.
-What instrument?
730
00:51:50,250 --> 00:51:53,083
-Press the keys on the pianola.
-What do we do?
731
00:51:53,209 --> 00:51:56,125
Do a slow song, come on, quickly!
732
00:51:56,792 --> 00:51:59,125
-Slowly or quickly?
-Do it slowly quickly.
733
00:51:59,250 --> 00:52:03,042
-"Sandy"?
-Good, "Sandy", a church version.
734
00:52:03,167 --> 00:52:05,959
-Just a sec.
-Let's do it in Do.
735
00:52:26,918 --> 00:52:29,417
All we were missing was the karaoke.
736
00:52:30,250 --> 00:52:34,292
I've never heard this English hymn.
737
00:52:34,417 --> 00:52:37,792
I have, but I can't remember where.
738
00:53:27,125 --> 00:53:31,417
I don't know if I agree
with these modern methods.
739
00:53:31,584 --> 00:53:34,209
-Yeah, but if these are the results…
-Who knows.
740
00:53:34,334 --> 00:53:37,709
It's like being on TV,
all that's missing is the phone-in vote.
741
00:53:37,834 --> 00:53:41,542
You'll keep going in the Christmas Mass.
742
00:54:13,459 --> 00:54:16,584
-Bravo!
-Bravo!
743
00:54:16,709 --> 00:54:20,334
Well done, Tomato!
744
00:54:20,459 --> 00:54:23,167
A big hand for Don Pierino.
745
00:54:23,292 --> 00:54:26,751
May he stay here for ever.
746
00:54:26,876 --> 00:54:27,918
Long live Don Pierino.
747
00:54:28,042 --> 00:54:29,792
Encore.
748
00:54:29,918 --> 00:54:32,167
Sainthood now!
749
00:54:45,584 --> 00:54:47,417
What are you doing?
750
00:55:11,334 --> 00:55:16,584
Is your husband
not jealous over this calendar?
751
00:55:16,709 --> 00:55:20,459
No, you know
how long we'll live off that money?
752
00:55:20,626 --> 00:55:23,918
-A nice simple answer.
-Like a baby.
753
00:55:24,042 --> 00:55:27,584
I can't take this any more,
always the same questions,
754
00:55:27,709 --> 00:55:30,292
I've got a sore head,
sore feet and I'm hungry.
755
00:55:30,417 --> 00:55:33,584
You were great,
we'll do the radio stations now.
756
00:55:33,709 --> 00:55:37,375
-Can I do it barefoot?
-Whatever you like.
757
00:55:38,334 --> 00:55:39,959
Call the radio people.
758
00:55:40,083 --> 00:55:45,792
In you come, only three questions each.
759
00:55:46,709 --> 00:55:49,876
-Please, come in.
-Hello. Have a seat.
760
00:55:50,000 --> 00:55:52,834
Let's hear the radio questions!
761
00:55:53,959 --> 00:55:55,959
You were fantastic.
762
00:55:56,125 --> 00:56:00,667
I got muddled up ten or 15 times.
763
00:56:00,792 --> 00:56:04,459
No, you're good
and more beautiful all the time.
764
00:56:04,626 --> 00:56:07,876
I'm exhausted, look at the state of me.
765
00:56:08,000 --> 00:56:11,125
You're good with the compliments.
766
00:56:11,876 --> 00:56:14,626
And always when I'm not expecting them,
767
00:56:14,751 --> 00:56:16,334
it's a technique.
768
00:56:16,459 --> 00:56:18,959
It might work, with someone else though,
769
00:56:19,125 --> 00:56:21,876
because I've got the key.
770
00:56:21,959 --> 00:56:25,083
Where the fuck does it go?
771
00:56:27,209 --> 00:56:30,375
-Here.
-Right.
772
00:56:30,542 --> 00:56:33,334
-Thank you and good night.
-Good night.
773
00:56:57,417 --> 00:56:59,792
What a fright, are you mad?
774
00:56:59,918 --> 00:57:02,918
What are you doing here? No!
775
00:57:10,542 --> 00:57:12,876
I knew it would finish like this.
776
00:57:19,918 --> 00:57:21,959
As soon as we're on the yacht,
777
00:57:22,125 --> 00:57:24,375
I'll go to the politician and say to him,
778
00:57:24,542 --> 00:57:27,876
"I represent a group of people
from the Seychelles
779
00:57:27,959 --> 00:57:31,959
who're fighting
our social-political-economic system.
780
00:57:32,083 --> 00:57:35,209
Everything has to be rethought,
property tax, taxes, pardons."
781
00:57:35,334 --> 00:57:36,959
I'll add the TV license.
782
00:57:37,125 --> 00:57:40,959
"The people of the Seychelles
are laughing at us,
783
00:57:41,125 --> 00:57:42,834
they're sneering!"
784
00:57:42,959 --> 00:57:46,083
"Sneering", I like that,
do you think I'll impress him?
785
00:57:46,209 --> 00:57:49,167
Love, will I impress him?
786
00:57:49,959 --> 00:57:53,125
Love, what's up?
787
00:57:53,834 --> 00:57:54,876
Are you somewhere else?
788
00:57:55,000 --> 00:57:57,876
I'm wondering
789
00:57:57,959 --> 00:58:01,459
if we're cocking things up
with this calendar.
790
00:58:01,626 --> 00:58:05,334
We're always out,
we're neglecting the market, our friends.
791
00:58:05,459 --> 00:58:08,792
What do you mean? We did it for the shop.
792
00:58:08,918 --> 00:58:12,667
We'll buy the shop and life will change.
793
00:58:12,792 --> 00:58:14,375
I don't know.
794
00:58:14,542 --> 00:58:16,792
-What do you mean?
-I don't know.
795
00:58:20,375 --> 00:58:23,667
-You were handsome as a groom.
-I was!
796
00:58:23,792 --> 00:58:26,584
If the photographer
had seen me dressed like this,
797
00:58:26,709 --> 00:58:29,667
I'd have done the calendar,
I look like Prince.
798
00:58:32,626 --> 00:58:34,167
It might have been better.
799
00:58:38,667 --> 00:58:41,417
Miranda, can you hear me?
800
00:58:41,584 --> 00:58:43,209
The white one with the lights on.
801
00:58:43,334 --> 00:58:46,167
The Titanic next to the blue one?
802
00:58:46,292 --> 00:58:47,542
Yes.
803
00:58:47,667 --> 00:58:51,459
Hurry up, we've already had our aperitifs,
804
00:58:51,626 --> 00:58:53,250
the MP's been here half an hour.
805
00:58:53,375 --> 00:58:55,959
Everything went wrong,
806
00:58:56,125 --> 00:58:59,626
the boat's come loose in front of us,
and we got lost three times.
807
00:58:59,751 --> 00:59:02,125
You go, so they can relax,
808
00:59:02,792 --> 00:59:07,209
as soon as the queue moves, I'll join you.
809
00:59:07,334 --> 00:59:08,876
-Sure?
-Yes.
810
00:59:08,959 --> 00:59:10,209
I'm coming.
811
00:59:16,876 --> 00:59:19,459
Come on, we should already have set sail.
812
00:59:19,626 --> 00:59:21,626
Mariano's parking and he'll be here.
813
00:59:21,751 --> 00:59:24,584
What do you mean, parking, come on!
814
00:59:24,709 --> 00:59:26,792
I can't leave him here.
815
00:59:26,918 --> 00:59:29,959
We've been waiting an hour for you.
816
00:59:30,959 --> 00:59:34,584
-How can I?
-We'll send a dinghy for him.
817
00:59:34,709 --> 00:59:37,042
I can't leave him here like a prick.
818
00:59:38,125 --> 00:59:41,626
All right, nobody saw you,
819
00:59:41,751 --> 00:59:43,626
I'll say you felt sick.
820
00:59:44,417 --> 00:59:45,250
Talk soon.
821
00:59:48,209 --> 00:59:52,083
Remove the dirty glasses
and do another round with the champagne.
822
01:00:12,751 --> 01:00:14,000
Andrea.
823
01:00:15,000 --> 01:00:18,542
-Tell the captain we can leave.
-Okay.
824
01:00:18,667 --> 01:00:19,918
Take your shoes off.
825
01:00:21,584 --> 01:00:23,167
Come on!
826
01:00:24,918 --> 01:00:29,918
If you want to freshen up,
there's all you need in there.
827
01:00:39,042 --> 01:00:43,459
Wait, we left
that poor guy alone on the pier.
828
01:00:44,792 --> 01:00:48,626
-Have you spoken to him?
-Not yet, my heart's breaking.
829
01:00:49,459 --> 01:00:51,167
He's not expecting it!
830
01:00:51,959 --> 01:00:54,584
It's not about leaving a person,
831
01:00:54,709 --> 01:00:56,959
but a bit of life, it's not easy.
832
01:00:57,083 --> 01:00:59,959
You've been living a life
that wasn't yours,
833
01:01:00,083 --> 01:01:02,709
this is your life.
834
01:01:03,959 --> 01:01:05,792
You've nothing to do with him,
835
01:01:06,334 --> 01:01:10,334
yeah, sure, he's nice, quaint,
836
01:01:10,459 --> 01:01:12,417
but he's not the man of your life.
837
01:01:14,042 --> 01:01:15,417
You told me
838
01:01:15,584 --> 01:01:18,709
that it seems strange getting up
at 5:00 am to go to the market.
839
01:01:18,834 --> 01:01:20,334
Sometimes at 4:00 am.
840
01:01:20,959 --> 01:01:23,459
I can't find the words,
what do I tell him?
841
01:01:23,626 --> 01:01:25,334
"I'm leaving you, I love someone else"?
842
01:01:26,626 --> 01:01:29,334
All I've done is have my ass photographed.
843
01:01:31,834 --> 01:01:33,751
You met me.
844
01:01:38,959 --> 01:01:43,375
Andrea, are you here?
The MP is waiting for you.
845
01:01:43,542 --> 01:01:44,709
Coming.
846
01:01:48,667 --> 01:01:51,083
I wrote down what I think
when we're not together.
847
01:01:51,209 --> 01:01:52,334
Will I read it now?
848
01:01:53,292 --> 01:01:54,918
When you're on your own.
849
01:02:13,167 --> 01:02:15,667
-Sailor!
-You talking to me?
850
01:02:15,792 --> 01:02:21,417
Yes, how long does it take a dinghy
to come and take me to a boat?
851
01:02:21,584 --> 01:02:24,626
It depends where the boat is,
if it's in Gorgona, tomorrow.
852
01:02:24,751 --> 01:02:28,167
It's nearby, that big white one
853
01:02:28,292 --> 01:02:29,959
with the politician aboard.
854
01:02:30,083 --> 01:02:31,709
The one with the bodyguards
855
01:02:32,626 --> 01:02:36,334
who stopped the traffic for an hour
because that asshole had to get by?
856
01:02:36,459 --> 01:02:42,334
My wife said they'd send a dinghy,
857
01:02:42,459 --> 01:02:43,751
but it's still not here.
858
01:02:43,876 --> 01:02:48,167
If Dalmazio was here, he'd take you,
but he knocks off at 5:00 pm.
859
01:02:48,292 --> 01:02:53,042
Call him, I'll pay him to take me.
860
01:02:53,167 --> 01:02:56,876
-Which is Dalmazio's boat?
-This grey dinghy.
861
01:02:57,000 --> 01:02:59,083
I know how to drive that.
862
01:02:59,209 --> 01:03:02,042
I'll give you the money
and you give it to Dalmazio.
863
01:03:02,167 --> 01:03:06,375
Who sent you to us today?
864
01:03:06,542 --> 01:03:08,417
You're worse than a cat
hanging on to my balls.
865
01:03:10,792 --> 01:03:13,751
Sir, I read
that your last visit to the Middle East
866
01:03:13,876 --> 01:03:15,375
caused you a bit of trouble.
867
01:03:15,542 --> 01:03:17,375
They don't muck around there,
868
01:03:17,542 --> 01:03:19,709
I made the mistake
of saying what I thought.
869
01:03:19,834 --> 01:03:23,876
I kicked up a row!
870
01:03:23,959 --> 01:03:27,334
I've had an escort for three months.
871
01:03:27,459 --> 01:03:28,959
Nobody can get near me.
872
01:03:29,918 --> 01:03:33,292
Here I am, love,
like the Pirates of the Caribbean!
873
01:03:33,417 --> 01:03:37,709
Dalmazio's dinghy is going great.
874
01:03:37,834 --> 01:03:42,876
But I'm going to get soaked
and get sunstroke.
875
01:03:42,959 --> 01:03:47,250
I should put something on.
876
01:03:47,375 --> 01:03:51,292
The escort guys are great,
877
01:03:51,417 --> 01:03:55,209
they're always on the alert.
878
01:03:55,334 --> 01:03:59,167
They wanted to have this party at sea,
879
01:04:00,042 --> 01:04:03,000
so I'd be safer.
880
01:04:05,959 --> 01:04:07,334
What's that noise?
881
01:04:10,959 --> 01:04:14,125
I turn right and it goes left.
How do I stop it?
882
01:04:14,250 --> 01:04:16,959
Help!
883
01:04:17,083 --> 01:04:20,042
This all costs about 40 billion?
884
01:04:20,167 --> 01:04:23,125
Hey, babe, bring some more biscuits.
885
01:04:23,959 --> 01:04:27,918
Move the boat, this isn't responding!
886
01:04:28,042 --> 01:04:31,292
Out the way!
887
01:04:31,417 --> 01:04:35,876
They really scared me,
now I jump at everything.
888
01:04:35,959 --> 01:04:39,042
Out of the way!
889
01:04:39,167 --> 01:04:43,751
Yesterday, a kid set off a firecracker
890
01:04:43,876 --> 01:04:45,042
and I felt sick.
891
01:04:46,792 --> 01:04:52,125
The dinghy's not working, move the boat!
892
01:04:52,250 --> 01:04:56,167
Move the boat!
893
01:04:56,292 --> 01:05:02,083
The dinghy's out of control!
894
01:05:02,209 --> 01:05:06,167
The dinghy's out of control! Help!
895
01:05:06,292 --> 01:05:07,709
Who the fuck's that?
896
01:05:07,834 --> 01:05:11,417
If I hear a door slam, I'm scared.
897
01:05:11,584 --> 01:05:16,167
Collision!
898
01:05:22,792 --> 01:05:25,876
Relax, he's fine.
899
01:05:25,959 --> 01:05:32,042
We did the right thing doing them,
but it wasn't necessary.
900
01:05:32,167 --> 01:05:33,959
Will I continue the antibiotics?
901
01:05:34,083 --> 01:05:37,334
Finish the box, but he's thick-skinned.
902
01:05:37,459 --> 01:05:42,459
Remember when he fell
from the wall of the orchard?
903
01:05:42,626 --> 01:05:45,459
He pretended he'd lost his memory.
904
01:05:47,876 --> 01:05:50,959
Congratulations, by the way.
905
01:05:51,751 --> 01:05:56,167
It's already impossible to find
in a range of 150 square miles.
906
01:05:56,292 --> 01:05:58,209
Thank you.
907
01:06:04,042 --> 01:06:07,459
What time do I take the pills?
908
01:06:07,626 --> 01:06:10,834
It's written on the prescription,
it's in my bag.
909
01:06:35,959 --> 01:06:38,959
Dear Miranda, here I am
thinking about you again today,
910
01:06:39,125 --> 01:06:42,083
the same as yesterday,
and tomorrow as well.
911
01:06:43,250 --> 01:06:46,209
When you're absent,
I can still feel your presence.
912
01:06:46,334 --> 01:06:51,667
I think of your smile, our stolen kisses,
and that night I wish had never ended.
913
01:06:52,292 --> 01:06:55,918
In life you should never deny yourself
the dream of love.
914
01:06:57,000 --> 01:06:58,959
Who said it's impossible?
915
01:06:59,083 --> 01:07:02,876
Only we can decide what we can do.
916
01:07:02,959 --> 01:07:05,918
I've always lived halfway
between what I thought I was
917
01:07:06,042 --> 01:07:07,834
and what I am.
918
01:08:18,834 --> 01:08:22,542
Happy Christmas, you old witches!
Happy Christmas, everybody!
919
01:08:44,125 --> 01:08:45,626
-Bye.
-Bye.
920
01:08:49,876 --> 01:08:52,083
What a lovely counter!
921
01:08:52,959 --> 01:08:54,250
You get the amnesty?
922
01:08:59,834 --> 01:09:03,417
Seven, six, five,
923
01:09:03,584 --> 01:09:07,667
four, three, two, one…
924
01:09:16,375 --> 01:09:19,959
You want to go
to the singles' night sometime?
925
01:09:21,709 --> 01:09:23,083
Yeah, I'll think about it.
926
01:09:24,292 --> 01:09:25,918
Bye-bye, all the best.
927
01:09:33,667 --> 01:09:38,959
HAPPY NEW YEAR, HANDSOME!
928
01:09:40,584 --> 01:09:43,876
Dad, does Santa Claus exist?
929
01:09:44,959 --> 01:09:47,167
He did until you ate him!
930
01:09:47,292 --> 01:09:49,751
You want to eat the Epiphany witch too?
931
01:09:49,876 --> 01:09:52,292
Laugh! What have you got in there,
an incinerator?
932
01:10:25,042 --> 01:10:27,876
I've always loved the sun,
933
01:10:28,417 --> 01:10:31,042
even as a child, when I was six,
934
01:10:31,167 --> 01:10:34,417
I climbed the wall of the oratory,
935
01:10:34,584 --> 01:10:37,792
it must have been
at least four metres high.
936
01:10:37,918 --> 01:10:41,459
And, then, I would go up and down,
937
01:10:41,626 --> 01:10:43,459
like a yo-yo.
938
01:10:44,459 --> 01:10:46,250
Little sparrow,
939
01:10:47,125 --> 01:10:49,959
it's time to stop stuffing yourself.
940
01:10:52,876 --> 01:10:56,709
Every time I look at the moon,
that song comes to mind that says,
941
01:10:56,834 --> 01:11:00,459
"Look at that moon
or it won't bring you luck,
942
01:11:00,626 --> 01:11:02,834
wait for your love, if it comes back,
943
01:11:02,959 --> 01:11:06,834
it'll be yours for ever
and that's the secret."
944
01:11:06,959 --> 01:11:10,959
A year had gone by
and for me Miranda was still my wife.
945
01:11:36,417 --> 01:11:39,667
Go away now
946
01:11:40,584 --> 01:11:44,042
I want to be alone
947
01:11:44,167 --> 01:11:46,626
With my sadness
948
01:11:47,459 --> 01:11:50,834
And fly in its sky
949
01:11:50,959 --> 01:11:54,209
I never asked who you were
950
01:11:54,334 --> 01:11:57,125
Why you chose me
951
01:11:57,959 --> 01:12:01,292
Me who until yesterday
952
01:12:01,417 --> 01:12:04,709
I thought was a king
953
01:12:06,083 --> 01:12:10,751
To lose love
954
01:12:29,584 --> 01:12:34,125
I know, love,
you can't have everything in life,
955
01:12:34,250 --> 01:12:35,918
that's the way it went tonight.
956
01:12:36,042 --> 01:12:39,792
We'll do it tomorrow after the shoot.
957
01:12:41,709 --> 01:12:44,334
A bit of sushi, then everything else.
958
01:12:44,459 --> 01:12:47,542
My agent called me yesterday
and gave me the usual line,
959
01:12:47,667 --> 01:12:49,375
"It's not a good period, nothing,
960
01:12:49,542 --> 01:12:52,292
but you're good,
sooner or later they'll call you."
961
01:12:52,417 --> 01:12:56,959
-I did Chekhov in rep in Genoa.
-What a waste!
962
01:12:57,125 --> 01:13:01,459
It's true,
we're not the usual pretty-but-dumbs.
963
01:13:01,626 --> 01:13:03,918
No, I meant the fruit.
964
01:13:04,542 --> 01:13:06,667
They do parties
with these baskets of fruit
965
01:13:06,792 --> 01:13:08,459
that nobody ever eats.
966
01:13:10,334 --> 01:13:13,542
You know what my husband used to say
when we set up the stall?
967
01:13:13,667 --> 01:13:16,042
"The world could get by on fruit and veg,
968
01:13:16,167 --> 01:13:20,375
we're doing a good thing,
there's everything in fruit and veg,
969
01:13:20,542 --> 01:13:21,876
what more do you need?"
970
01:13:22,000 --> 01:13:24,876
Wow, what a metaphor!
971
01:13:25,000 --> 01:13:27,167
Where's Andrea?
972
01:13:27,292 --> 01:13:31,876
Yeah, where is he? I've been holding
these two glasses for two hours.
973
01:13:31,959 --> 01:13:36,250
-Cecilia, have you seen Andrea?
-He was heading to the bathroom.
974
01:13:36,375 --> 01:13:38,167
-Excuse me.
-Yeah. Bye.
975
01:13:54,667 --> 01:13:58,042
What have you told
to your boyfriend in Parma?
976
01:14:02,167 --> 01:14:03,918
Really?
977
01:14:04,042 --> 01:14:05,918
And he believed it?
978
01:14:06,042 --> 01:14:09,918
You could convince anyone of anything.
979
01:14:10,709 --> 01:14:12,417
No, Artichoke Girl's through there,
980
01:14:12,584 --> 01:14:14,375
she's discovered champagne.
981
01:14:16,709 --> 01:14:19,334
Love, you brought me my champagne.
982
01:14:19,959 --> 01:14:23,876
It was Giulio from America…
983
01:14:24,000 --> 01:14:25,542
Don't talk shit!
984
01:14:25,667 --> 01:14:27,292
I heard everything.
985
01:14:27,417 --> 01:14:31,167
So I'm Artichoke Girl
who's discovered champagne?
986
01:14:31,292 --> 01:14:34,667
Take it then, you piece of shit!
987
01:14:37,792 --> 01:14:41,083
Miranda.
988
01:14:41,209 --> 01:14:43,250
Wait!
989
01:14:43,375 --> 01:14:47,959
Don't be a baby, I was kidding!
990
01:14:48,083 --> 01:14:51,459
I saw you behind the door.
991
01:14:51,626 --> 01:14:53,042
Fuck off, you asshole!
992
01:14:53,167 --> 01:14:58,667
I knew those assistants of yours
were nothing but whores
993
01:14:58,792 --> 01:15:00,375
and you're a pig.
994
01:15:00,542 --> 01:15:03,667
-Give me the car keys.
-Don't.
995
01:15:03,792 --> 01:15:04,959
Here you are.
996
01:15:05,959 --> 01:15:08,417
Do you think you should be driving?
You're drunk.
997
01:15:08,584 --> 01:15:13,167
And if you want the whole truth,
you're a shit photographer too,
998
01:15:13,292 --> 01:15:16,083
they only let you do calendars
with nude asses.
999
01:15:16,209 --> 01:15:19,792
Artistic photos? You make me sick!
1000
01:15:19,918 --> 01:15:21,459
You really are Artichoke Girl!
1001
01:15:21,918 --> 01:15:22,876
Wow.
1002
01:15:22,959 --> 01:15:24,667
It's not just me that calls you that,
1003
01:15:24,792 --> 01:15:27,584
everyone in the scene does!
1004
01:15:29,584 --> 01:15:30,667
What are you doing?
1005
01:15:31,375 --> 01:15:34,459
Don't touch me or you're finished.
1006
01:15:36,042 --> 01:15:38,417
Tell everyone in your scene
1007
01:15:38,584 --> 01:15:41,959
that Artichoke Girl
gave you this bunch of fives.
1008
01:15:48,834 --> 01:15:51,209
I don't want to make a fuss,
1009
01:15:51,334 --> 01:15:53,167
but this is the last performance
of Grease,
1010
01:15:53,292 --> 01:15:56,459
a memory we'll keep all our lives,
so let's give it our best.
1011
01:15:56,626 --> 01:15:58,959
One, two, three, shit!
1012
01:15:59,083 --> 01:16:02,000
Shit.
1013
01:16:34,292 --> 01:16:35,626
What a crash!
1014
01:17:03,876 --> 01:17:06,250
Madam.
1015
01:17:09,209 --> 01:17:10,375
What?
1016
01:17:12,167 --> 01:17:13,375
Where?
1017
01:17:15,876 --> 01:17:18,209
My phone's still on!
1018
01:17:19,876 --> 01:17:21,792
Mariano, great!
1019
01:17:25,626 --> 01:17:27,375
Baccano!
1020
01:17:27,542 --> 01:17:29,000
Come here!
1021
01:17:29,876 --> 01:17:31,125
Mariano called.
1022
01:17:34,334 --> 01:17:38,167
-What?
-A tragedy! Mariano says Miranda…
1023
01:17:43,417 --> 01:17:46,250
She ended up in a ravine
with the photographer's car.
1024
01:17:46,375 --> 01:17:48,459
Nobody knows what happened…
1025
01:17:54,626 --> 01:17:56,292
You can't leave your car here.
1026
01:17:56,417 --> 01:17:58,250
Sir?
1027
01:18:27,292 --> 01:18:28,459
Well?
1028
01:18:28,626 --> 01:18:32,125
Well, I don't know anything,
they're operating.
1029
01:18:32,250 --> 01:18:34,584
-Where?
-In the operating theater.
1030
01:18:34,709 --> 01:18:36,542
Where in the sense of physically?
1031
01:18:36,667 --> 01:18:39,417
-Is it true she thumped her head?
-Is it true?
1032
01:18:41,417 --> 01:18:44,709
Remember we wanted to do a musical of ER?
1033
01:18:44,834 --> 01:18:46,876
Giustina was the slut nurse.
1034
01:18:47,000 --> 01:18:51,292
Are you mad? That's your fantasy.
1035
01:18:51,417 --> 01:18:54,083
-I was supposed to be the doctor.
-Slut doctor!
1036
01:18:54,209 --> 01:18:55,375
In your dreams!
1037
01:18:56,751 --> 01:19:00,375
Go home,
as soon as I know anything, I'll call you.
1038
01:19:00,542 --> 01:19:02,876
Let's go, we look like
we're going to a fancy-dress party.
1039
01:19:03,000 --> 01:19:04,876
It's not Carnival.
1040
01:19:05,709 --> 01:19:07,250
I'm staying with Dad.
1041
01:19:08,250 --> 01:19:09,542
Okay.
1042
01:19:09,667 --> 01:19:12,083
Mariano, I'll leave my phone on.
1043
01:19:12,209 --> 01:19:14,709
-Thank you.
-Be brave.
1044
01:19:14,834 --> 01:19:16,959
-Bye.
-Bye, Mariano.
1045
01:19:17,125 --> 01:19:18,459
Good luck.
1046
01:19:18,626 --> 01:19:20,209
Let us know.
1047
01:19:20,334 --> 01:19:23,876
-You go as well.
-I'm staying, I'm not tired.
1048
01:19:24,000 --> 01:19:25,959
Nobody's waiting for me.
1049
01:19:32,959 --> 01:19:35,459
I don't like life very much,
1050
01:19:36,792 --> 01:19:38,709
too unpredictable.
1051
01:19:38,834 --> 01:19:41,584
I'm ignorant,
I can't cope with all these surprises.
1052
01:19:42,375 --> 01:19:44,626
Miranda leaves you, the crash,
1053
01:19:45,542 --> 01:19:48,292
my son losing 200 grams in six months.
1054
01:19:49,626 --> 01:19:56,042
There are so many
unpredictable things in life.
1055
01:19:56,792 --> 01:19:57,876
In the world too,
1056
01:19:58,000 --> 01:20:01,167
too many surprises.
1057
01:20:03,542 --> 01:20:04,959
The tsunami.
1058
01:20:08,959 --> 01:20:10,751
The Twin Towers.
1059
01:20:13,792 --> 01:20:15,959
The Pope who died after 20 days.
1060
01:20:19,709 --> 01:20:21,626
Lewinsky's blowjob.
1061
01:20:23,876 --> 01:20:25,459
Juventus being relegated.
1062
01:20:26,918 --> 01:20:30,375
Remember
when they banned beef on the bone?
1063
01:20:38,292 --> 01:20:40,083
If I think about my life,
1064
01:20:40,876 --> 01:20:43,209
with a dead cat on my head all the time,
1065
01:20:44,417 --> 01:20:46,334
to have had hair.
1066
01:20:47,459 --> 01:20:50,167
In the '80s, I could have given
Brian May a run for his money.
1067
01:20:51,959 --> 01:20:54,959
Who's Mr Stoppani?
1068
01:20:55,709 --> 01:20:57,083
Come on, Miranda!
1069
01:21:02,209 --> 01:21:04,083
Here's hoping!
1070
01:21:04,209 --> 01:21:08,292
You can see her but not for long.
1071
01:21:12,209 --> 01:21:13,083
Well?
1072
01:21:13,209 --> 01:21:17,876
The operation went well,
she's out of danger,
1073
01:21:17,959 --> 01:21:22,209
but they did a reduction and synthesis
1074
01:21:22,334 --> 01:21:24,959
of the fracture at the neck of the femur.
1075
01:21:25,125 --> 01:21:28,209
-What does that mean?
-Reduction and synthesis.
1076
01:21:29,000 --> 01:21:30,459
In the sense,
1077
01:21:31,834 --> 01:21:33,709
she'll not walk perfectly.
1078
01:21:34,667 --> 01:21:37,125
-Miranda.
-Miranda, yes.
1079
01:21:41,292 --> 01:21:44,459
She'll not walk perfectly in what sense?
1080
01:21:46,167 --> 01:21:47,667
She's lame!
1081
01:21:50,042 --> 01:21:54,375
Here she is, but don't stay too long
or she'll get tired.
1082
01:21:55,125 --> 01:21:56,459
Thanks.
1083
01:22:10,334 --> 01:22:11,209
Miranda.
1084
01:22:11,334 --> 01:22:13,918
It's Mariano.
1085
01:22:20,542 --> 01:22:22,250
What happened?
1086
01:22:22,375 --> 01:22:25,959
You crashed, you ended up in a ravine.
1087
01:22:28,959 --> 01:22:30,167
I can't move.
1088
01:22:30,292 --> 01:22:32,417
They operated on your leg,
1089
01:22:33,334 --> 01:22:37,918
it was a long and serious operation,
1090
01:22:38,042 --> 01:22:41,876
but it went well.
1091
01:22:44,876 --> 01:22:46,709
Don't leave me.
1092
01:22:49,292 --> 01:22:54,334
Who's leaving you?
1093
01:22:55,918 --> 01:22:57,375
I'm here.
1094
01:22:58,667 --> 01:23:00,042
I'm always here.
1095
01:23:00,959 --> 01:23:02,667
I'm holding your hand too.
1096
01:23:06,626 --> 01:23:08,209
You're so handsome, my love.
1097
01:23:10,542 --> 01:23:11,584
Handsome.
1098
01:23:13,584 --> 01:23:16,751
You think I'm handsome
1099
01:23:16,876 --> 01:23:19,626
because you're on morphine.
1100
01:23:21,876 --> 01:23:23,542
But I appreciate it.
1101
01:23:33,792 --> 01:23:37,125
Here, Madam,
you want Valentino's underwear?
1102
01:23:37,250 --> 01:23:41,292
He'll only have worn it a couple of times.
1103
01:23:41,417 --> 01:23:44,792
What are you touching?
That's tempered steel, don't worry.
1104
01:23:44,918 --> 01:23:45,959
Buy!
1105
01:23:46,083 --> 01:23:49,459
Don Pierino? What's he doing?
1106
01:23:51,959 --> 01:23:55,459
Don Pierino?
1107
01:23:57,334 --> 01:23:59,459
Right.
1108
01:23:59,626 --> 01:24:02,417
Let's try the movement
of the aliens again in the final scene.
1109
01:24:07,626 --> 01:24:09,792
Close Encounters
doesn't make the most of me,
1110
01:24:09,918 --> 01:24:12,083
there's isn't a single song.
1111
01:24:12,209 --> 01:24:14,876
Let's start, say your line.
1112
01:24:14,959 --> 01:24:19,834
Landed on Earth.
1113
01:24:19,959 --> 01:24:21,667
Stood in shit!
1114
01:24:22,459 --> 01:24:23,876
Baccano!
1115
01:24:24,000 --> 01:24:27,375
Yes, "I'm speechless", I know.
1116
01:24:29,667 --> 01:24:32,542
-Can I help you?
-I can manage.
1117
01:24:32,667 --> 01:24:35,709
There's my love,
I've got the car in the shade.
1118
01:24:35,834 --> 01:24:37,042
-Give me the bags.
-Okay.
1119
01:24:37,167 --> 01:24:39,709
Come to me at Christmas,
I'll give you some nice clementines.
1120
01:24:39,834 --> 01:24:42,959
-Bye. Say hi to your brother.
-Okay. Bye, guys.
1121
01:24:43,083 --> 01:24:44,959
-Bye.
-Bye.
1122
01:24:56,792 --> 01:24:58,083
You somewhere else?
1123
01:25:00,959 --> 01:25:02,876
I haven't been home for over a year.
1124
01:25:02,959 --> 01:25:05,000
Nothing's changed.
1125
01:25:05,626 --> 01:25:06,542
Good.
1126
01:25:07,375 --> 01:25:08,417
Good.
1127
01:25:13,959 --> 01:25:17,834
I don't want
to bring the topic up again, but…
1128
01:25:17,959 --> 01:25:19,667
What topic?
1129
01:25:19,792 --> 01:25:22,876
We didn't see each other this year.
1130
01:25:23,000 --> 01:25:26,292
Not seeing each other, the topic.
1131
01:25:28,000 --> 01:25:32,042
When I sleep too much,
I don't remember anything.
1132
01:25:32,167 --> 01:25:36,083
Yesterday evening I went to bed at 9:00 pm
and I woke up today at 10:00 am,
1133
01:25:36,209 --> 01:25:38,542
I don't know what you want to talk about.
1134
01:25:41,584 --> 01:25:43,125
Did I miss something?
1135
01:25:48,292 --> 01:25:50,167
You didn't miss anything.
1136
01:25:51,459 --> 01:25:53,375
Just as well.
1137
01:25:56,125 --> 01:25:57,626
I'm starving!
1138
01:25:57,751 --> 01:26:00,417
Simple or royal sandwiches?
1139
01:26:01,292 --> 01:26:05,083
How do you want your sandwich,
with rind and black pepper or plain?
1140
01:26:05,209 --> 01:26:09,459
-With rind.
-Two royals, with a little pepper.
1141
01:26:09,626 --> 01:26:11,959
-To drink?
-Love, to drink?
1142
01:26:12,125 --> 01:26:13,959
-A soda.
-Two.
1143
01:26:14,792 --> 01:26:17,083
It's great with pork.
1144
01:26:17,209 --> 01:26:18,918
Here.
1145
01:26:19,042 --> 01:26:21,918
Pellegrini, you still do Jerry Lewis?
1146
01:26:22,042 --> 01:26:24,959
Good evening, I'm fantastic!
1147
01:26:25,083 --> 01:26:29,167
You've improved, you gave me the shivers!
1148
01:26:30,000 --> 01:26:32,584
-Here you go.
-See you, handsome.
1149
01:26:33,959 --> 01:26:36,709
Here, sandwiches and soda.
1150
01:26:36,834 --> 01:26:39,667
You should hear his Jerry Lewis,
you'll die laughing.
1151
01:26:46,083 --> 01:26:50,250
Giovannino's roast pork is the best.
1152
01:26:51,209 --> 01:26:53,876
He uses his own pigs,
1153
01:26:53,959 --> 01:26:57,417
he rears them on healthy feed,
and when the time comes
1154
01:26:57,584 --> 01:27:00,125
he strikes them
between the head and the neck.
1155
01:27:00,250 --> 01:27:04,209
They drop dead
and he sticks them in a sandwich.
1156
01:27:07,959 --> 01:27:11,209
-You see who's there?
-Who?
1157
01:27:13,959 --> 01:27:15,292
Our son.
1158
01:27:30,626 --> 01:27:31,876
Dusk.
1159
01:27:34,918 --> 01:27:35,918
Lovely, isn't he?
1160
01:27:37,292 --> 01:27:38,959
He came to say hello.
1161
01:27:47,584 --> 01:27:51,542
If we wait seven
or eight hours, the girl will come too.
1162
01:27:54,250 --> 01:27:55,626
Dawn!
1163
01:28:00,209 --> 01:28:03,792
Are you in a hurry?
1164
01:28:03,918 --> 01:28:04,834
No.
1165
01:28:04,959 --> 01:28:07,125
You got somewhere to go?
1166
01:28:07,250 --> 01:28:08,584
No.
1167
01:28:08,709 --> 01:28:10,751
You got a date?
1168
01:28:10,876 --> 01:28:12,167
No.
1169
01:28:15,042 --> 01:28:16,626
Well, we'll wait.
80388
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