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00:00:02,844 --> 00:00:05,004
This programme contains
adult humour.
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00:00:05,004 --> 00:00:07,244
60 seconds to titles. Oh, Howard.
A quick word. Yeah.
3
00:00:07,244 --> 00:00:09,364
Last night I was at a fundraiser
for Help for Heroes,
4
00:00:09,364 --> 00:00:11,364
as the plus one of Grant Shapps.
5
00:00:11,364 --> 00:00:14,604
Shapps had had a row with his wife.
They'd agreed to go vegetarian for a
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00:00:14,604 --> 00:00:18,204
month, and she found a receipt from
Byron Burgers. OK.
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00:00:18,204 --> 00:00:20,324
I'll skip to the point.
At the event,
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I met the private secretary
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00:00:21,964 --> 00:00:24,404
for Her Royal Highness,
the Princess Royal.
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00:00:24,404 --> 00:00:27,044
Princess Anne.
Precisely, Howard, precisely.
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00:00:27,044 --> 00:00:30,324
And I was left with the distinct
impression that...that...
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00:00:30,324 --> 00:00:33,124
Clearance on two. ..were we to make
overtures to Gatcombe House,
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00:00:33,124 --> 00:00:35,284
inviting Her Royal Highness
on to the show,
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00:00:35,284 --> 00:00:37,844
those overtures may very well be
looked upon favourably.
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00:00:37,844 --> 00:00:39,444
Do you want to leave it with me?
16
00:00:39,444 --> 00:00:42,084
Absolutely, Howard. Just to say,
there was... Thank you, Paul.
17
00:00:42,084 --> 00:00:44,124
..an initial hesitancy...
Quiet, please.
18
00:00:44,124 --> 00:00:45,804
..about coming back to the Beeb,
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00:00:45,804 --> 00:00:48,604
after Emily Maitlis made
Prince Andrew get a bit muddled up,
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00:00:48,604 --> 00:00:51,924
but I was able to make assurances
that, at my hands,
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00:00:51,924 --> 00:00:55,844
the Princess Royal would receive
the softest possible soaping.
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00:00:55,844 --> 00:00:58,564
OK, leave it with me. Can you clear
the floor? First positions.
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00:00:58,564 --> 00:01:01,604
OK, also, I would say, from
your point of view, you will become
24
00:01:01,604 --> 00:01:04,484
known as the producer who pulled
off the royal coup rather than
25
00:01:04,484 --> 00:01:07,444
the producer of the TV show where
the lighting man fell to his death.
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00:01:07,444 --> 00:01:08,684
I'll leave it with you.
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CALYPSO MUSIC PLAYS
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Come on, get up.
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APPLAUSE
Ah, fantastic.
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00:01:42,724 --> 00:01:44,444
How about that? How about that?
31
00:01:44,444 --> 00:01:47,084
How about that?
How's about that?
32
00:01:47,084 --> 00:01:51,764
Welcome to This Time, with Alan
Partridge and me, Jennie Gresham.
33
00:01:51,764 --> 00:01:55,564
And hello, bonjour, hola, and
marhaba, because it's
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00:01:55,564 --> 00:01:57,044
an international show tonight,
35
00:01:57,044 --> 00:02:00,324
taking in London, Norfolk, Egypt...
And the Caribbean,
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00:02:00,324 --> 00:02:04,004
thanks to the wonderful drummers
of Camden Steel International.
37
00:02:04,004 --> 00:02:08,044
Uh, well, the calypso term actually
is "panmen" rather than drummers.
38
00:02:08,044 --> 00:02:10,844
Oh, I didn't realise you were
a calypso music fan, Alan.
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00:02:10,844 --> 00:02:14,884
Uh, well, I wasn't
until I bumped into the band.
40
00:02:14,884 --> 00:02:17,964
I was staying
overnight in Camden for fun,
41
00:02:17,964 --> 00:02:20,804
and these guys were playing outside
the hotel and I initially
42
00:02:20,804 --> 00:02:24,044
asked them to keep the noise down.
They refused, I threatened to
43
00:02:24,044 --> 00:02:26,364
call the council,
they said, "Go on, then,"
44
00:02:26,364 --> 00:02:29,124
so I began filming them on my
phone, and it was only when I
45
00:02:29,124 --> 00:02:31,964
watched the footage back, that what
had initially seemed like
46
00:02:31,964 --> 00:02:35,724
an unwelcome clang-clang-pang
had become
47
00:02:35,724 --> 00:02:38,604
a rather warm-hearted,
diddily-pom-pang.
48
00:02:38,604 --> 00:02:41,124
And the next day I approached the...
49
00:02:41,124 --> 00:02:44,964
..the panman with the largest
haircut... Sorry, what's your name?
50
00:02:44,964 --> 00:02:47,884
Brent. Brent. That's right,
yes, Brent. ..and I said,
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00:02:47,884 --> 00:02:52,364
"Brent, how would you like to come
on TV and play the tune Sun Splash,
52
00:02:52,364 --> 00:02:54,924
"also known as the theme
from This Time?"
53
00:02:54,924 --> 00:02:58,604
Yeah, and what is interesting is
that many steel pans are home-made,
54
00:02:58,604 --> 00:03:01,804
aren't they? They're actually
fashioned from discarded oil drums.
55
00:03:01,804 --> 00:03:03,644
Is that right?
That's correct, yeah.
56
00:03:03,644 --> 00:03:06,084
But the drums had been discarded
when you acquired them?
57
00:03:06,084 --> 00:03:08,524
That's correct, yeah.
Well, fine, yeah.
58
00:03:08,524 --> 00:03:11,164
Uh, so, Simon,
are you a fan of calypso music?
59
00:03:11,164 --> 00:03:15,404
No, no, but I did used to play
the triangle in a reggae band.
60
00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:18,244
I used to, uh... You stand at
the back and ting? That's it.
61
00:03:18,244 --> 00:03:21,164
You got it. Great, and then I'm sure
there'll be more good jokes from
62
00:03:21,164 --> 00:03:23,164
Simon later on tonight's show.
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00:03:23,164 --> 00:03:25,404
All week, we've been asking you
to vote
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00:03:25,404 --> 00:03:27,964
for Britain's greatest war heroes.
65
00:03:27,964 --> 00:03:31,164
The shortlist is Nelson,
Wellington, Montgomery
66
00:03:31,164 --> 00:03:32,724
and "Bomber" Harris,
67
00:03:32,724 --> 00:03:34,764
who literally wiped
Dresden off the map.
68
00:03:34,764 --> 00:03:37,764
But what about the unsung
civilian heroes
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00:03:37,764 --> 00:03:42,444
who, in their own quietly courageous
way, did their bit for Blighty?
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00:03:42,444 --> 00:03:44,724
Well, to help us, I'm going
to wander over
71
00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:46,724
to the digi-wall parade ground
72
00:03:46,724 --> 00:03:49,764
to see if my own soldier will
pass muster.
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00:03:49,764 --> 00:03:53,604
Private Denton.
Reporting for duty, sir!
74
00:03:53,604 --> 00:03:55,764
I think I just did a Nazi salute,
I'm so sorry.
75
00:03:55,764 --> 00:03:58,724
It was only a small one. At least it
wasn't the, uh... Don't, don't...
76
00:03:58,724 --> 00:04:01,124
Of course, you wouldn't be
reporting for duty anywhere
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00:04:01,124 --> 00:04:03,964
because of your genetic condition
which means you have brittle bones.
78
00:04:03,964 --> 00:04:05,444
How do you know about that?
79
00:04:05,444 --> 00:04:07,764
Well, when we had our checkup,
the doctor handed me
80
00:04:07,764 --> 00:04:10,084
the medical records and said,
"Have you seen this?"
81
00:04:10,084 --> 00:04:12,884
Anyway, tell us what happened...
Hang on, it doesn't affect me now.
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00:04:12,884 --> 00:04:15,364
It just means...
Sticks in your 60s. Yeah.
83
00:04:15,364 --> 00:04:19,204
Yeah. Yeah. So, all day we have been
asking for stories of civilian
84
00:04:19,204 --> 00:04:22,324
heroism by people who perhaps
haven't been honoured by the Queen.
85
00:04:22,324 --> 00:04:24,604
BELL DINGS
Whoops. What was that?
86
00:04:24,604 --> 00:04:26,924
Don't know, it must be interference.
A bit of radio ga ga.
87
00:04:26,924 --> 00:04:28,564
BELL DINGS
Ga ga?
88
00:04:28,564 --> 00:04:31,204
Sorry, I mean feedback.
I'm going slightly mad.
89
00:04:31,204 --> 00:04:33,564
BELL DINGS
Still, the show must go on.
90
00:04:33,564 --> 00:04:35,884
BELL DINGS
Samantha says her mum Florence
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00:04:35,884 --> 00:04:37,884
was only seven at the start
of the war,
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00:04:37,884 --> 00:04:40,044
but would sing music hall
songs outside
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00:04:40,044 --> 00:04:43,204
the Royal Ordnance Munitions Factory
to lift the spirits of the workers.
94
00:04:43,204 --> 00:04:46,044
Ah. What a wonderful public spirit.
It's a kind of magic.
95
00:04:46,044 --> 00:04:48,044
BELL DINGS
It is, Simon, and do you know,
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00:04:48,044 --> 00:04:49,684
they wouldn't let you do that now?
97
00:04:49,684 --> 00:04:52,724
There's probably some EU regulation
that says kids can't sing or dance
98
00:04:52,724 --> 00:04:55,804
near explosives. It's just red
tape. It is, and it's a pity because
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00:04:55,804 --> 00:04:58,644
that's the spirit that won us
the war. Well, we are the champions.
100
00:04:58,644 --> 00:05:01,284
BELL DINGS
Any more? Hell, yeah, don't stop
me now.
101
00:05:01,284 --> 00:05:04,804
Hang on, you're just doing Queen
songs. Yes, I am. I've been rumbled.
102
00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:06,484
It's just a Twitter thing.
103
00:05:06,484 --> 00:05:09,204
A Liverpool businessman said he'd
donate a kidney machine to
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00:05:09,204 --> 00:05:13,044
Alder Hey Children's Hospital if I
could sneak in a dozen Queen songs.
105
00:05:13,044 --> 00:05:16,964
Mm, that might sound like a bit
of fun, but doing a charity appeal
106
00:05:16,964 --> 00:05:19,284
on a war section would be
an editorial decision.
107
00:05:19,284 --> 00:05:22,004
Just trying to help sick kids.
OK, because you identify with them.
108
00:05:22,004 --> 00:05:25,644
Because of my biscuit bones.
ALAN LAUGHS
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00:05:25,644 --> 00:05:27,644
That is a good attitude, actually.
110
00:05:27,644 --> 00:05:30,084
All right, let's do it.
How many have you got left?
111
00:05:30,084 --> 00:05:32,764
Uh, we've named ten, so we've got to
get two more. Two more, two more.
112
00:05:32,764 --> 00:05:35,124
Yeah. Uh, well, there's
a text about the Land Girls.
113
00:05:35,124 --> 00:05:37,164
Fat Bottomed Girls.
BELL DINGS
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00:05:37,164 --> 00:05:40,284
I was trying to avoid that one.
It's not crude. Women have a higher
115
00:05:40,284 --> 00:05:43,124
oestrogen level, which deposits fat
around the buttocks and thighs.
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00:05:43,124 --> 00:05:45,964
In fact, I met Brian May at
Jodrell Bank several years ago
117
00:05:45,964 --> 00:05:48,284
and I said, "I have to
take my hat off to you, Mr May.
118
00:05:48,284 --> 00:05:51,244
"Women are meant to have fatter
bottoms. It's an evolutionary trait"
119
00:05:51,244 --> 00:05:54,124
"designed to attract a male, which
helps propagate the human race."
120
00:05:54,124 --> 00:05:57,964
So in a very real sense,
fat-bottomed girls... Make the
rocking world go round. Precisely.
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00:05:57,964 --> 00:06:01,644
Yeah, there we go. What did he say?
Well, we've been friends ever since.
Just need one more.
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00:06:01,644 --> 00:06:04,084
Surely he'll give you
the kidney machine for 11 songs.
123
00:06:04,084 --> 00:06:06,484
He won't, he really won't.
He says 12 songs or he won't budge.
124
00:06:06,484 --> 00:06:09,524
OK, well, we'll get there.
125
00:06:09,524 --> 00:06:11,324
Such a strange game to play.
126
00:06:12,604 --> 00:06:16,324
Now, from Jacobeans snorting
tinctures of opium
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00:06:16,324 --> 00:06:20,404
to rent lads called Cecil smoking
spice in the doorway, Britain has
128
00:06:20,404 --> 00:06:25,164
a longstanding drug problem,
but it needs to sort itself out!
129
00:06:26,644 --> 00:06:28,204
But how?
130
00:06:28,204 --> 00:06:29,804
And we're off.
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00:06:30,764 --> 00:06:33,284
JENNIE EXHALES, ALAN SIGHS
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00:06:34,684 --> 00:06:39,844
Oh, by the way, I was talking with
Grant Shapps, and some very...
133
00:06:39,844 --> 00:06:42,644
I don't know what her problem is,
and she was meant to get up
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00:06:42,644 --> 00:06:46,284
and dance with me, with the steel
band. I felt like a right Charlie.
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00:06:46,284 --> 00:06:49,164
You look quite chuffed. Have you
finished another wordsearch book?
136
00:06:49,164 --> 00:06:51,164
Better than that.
Not the big jigsaw?
137
00:06:51,164 --> 00:06:53,644
What's been keeping you
awake at night?
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00:06:53,644 --> 00:06:56,844
Well, the owl... And?
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00:06:56,844 --> 00:07:00,284
Well, being unseated by
TV's golden couple, Jennie and Sam.
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00:07:00,284 --> 00:07:03,404
Yes, well, Jennie
and Sam have split up.
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00:07:04,524 --> 00:07:06,804
Get lost!
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00:07:06,804 --> 00:07:08,844
I overheard her PA in the corridor.
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00:07:09,964 --> 00:07:13,484
Lynn, I am now in a very,
very good mood!
144
00:07:13,484 --> 00:07:15,524
Do you know what? Take Saturday
afternoon off.
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00:07:15,524 --> 00:07:17,204
I will. Thank you.
146
00:07:17,204 --> 00:07:19,404
Actually, I will need you
back by four.
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00:07:19,404 --> 00:07:22,244
Right. Just make sure they
don't patch things up. Right.
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00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:25,684
ALAN SIGHS
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00:07:29,044 --> 00:07:32,484
How are you? What did he do?
What did he do?
150
00:07:32,484 --> 00:07:35,204
Kiss your best friend?
Was it the chat lines?
151
00:07:35,204 --> 00:07:36,404
No!
152
00:07:36,404 --> 00:07:38,884
No, it's just all that
self-deprecating bollocks.
153
00:07:38,884 --> 00:07:40,484
Oh, yeah.
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00:07:40,484 --> 00:07:42,964
He goes on about how
he doesn't deserve me
155
00:07:42,964 --> 00:07:45,724
and then he says he can't invite me
to his Royal Society dinner
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00:07:45,724 --> 00:07:48,844
because I might be out of my depth.
Oh, Jennie.
157
00:07:48,844 --> 00:07:52,644
You must know this,
his eyes were too thin.
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They were.
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00:07:54,324 --> 00:07:57,524
I don't think you could have
startled the man if you tried.
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00:07:57,524 --> 00:07:59,884
It's just a lot of faux humility.
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00:07:59,884 --> 00:08:01,844
Etonians aren't modest, Jennie.
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00:08:01,844 --> 00:08:05,284
They are taught to emulate modesty
to empower themselves,
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00:08:05,284 --> 00:08:08,324
I wanted to tell you.
Oh, well, I know that now.
164
00:08:08,324 --> 00:08:09,964
When did all this happen?
165
00:08:09,964 --> 00:08:12,004
Just before he left for Egypt.
166
00:08:12,004 --> 00:08:14,844
We're doing the live link with him
today. Yeah, I know, I know that.
167
00:08:14,844 --> 00:08:17,884
It'll be fine. We've got to talk
to each other at some point,
168
00:08:17,884 --> 00:08:22,044
haven't we? Do be careful, Jen.
I don't think Sam's a bad person,
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00:08:22,044 --> 00:08:25,644
but the most important person in
Sam Chatwin's life will always be -
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00:08:25,644 --> 00:08:30,084
say it with me, Jen... Sam Chatwin.
..Samuel Peregrine Tolomy Chatwin,
171
00:08:30,084 --> 00:08:32,644
precisely.
And we're back in five, four...
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00:08:32,644 --> 00:08:34,884
SHE SIGHS
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00:08:34,884 --> 00:08:38,244
Your views there on how
the law should tackle drug use.
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00:08:38,244 --> 00:08:42,204
And a real mix, actually, from
compulsory door-to-door drug tests,
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00:08:42,204 --> 00:08:44,844
to school visits by Shane MacGowan.
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00:08:44,844 --> 00:08:47,644
Mm, and I particularly like the idea
of tackling drug use in schools
177
00:08:47,644 --> 00:08:50,324
by disguising police officers
as undercover dinner ladies.
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00:08:50,324 --> 00:08:51,804
Yeah, good idea for a film.
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00:08:51,804 --> 00:08:53,644
Yeah, but I meant as a policy.
180
00:08:53,644 --> 00:08:58,084
Now, when we opened our mail bag
to find a letter from Janet Dignan
181
00:08:58,084 --> 00:09:02,564
complaining about our use of split
infinitives, we took it to the top.
182
00:09:02,564 --> 00:09:05,644
We invited Janet to truly have
it out
183
00:09:05,644 --> 00:09:07,964
with the BBC's director of
editorial standards
184
00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:10,524
and promised to never again use
a split infinitive.
185
00:09:10,524 --> 00:09:13,084
Jennie went along to
hopefully find out
186
00:09:13,084 --> 00:09:15,804
if good grammar still matters
and to thereby put Janet's mind
187
00:09:15,804 --> 00:09:18,004
at rest - happy to, in some
small way, help.
188
00:09:19,844 --> 00:09:22,284
And we're off.
Split infinitives.
189
00:09:22,284 --> 00:09:24,364
Walk your dog!
190
00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:26,764
Someone's been going to the gym.
191
00:09:26,764 --> 00:09:28,124
Oh, thank you for noticing.
192
00:09:28,124 --> 00:09:30,284
I saw your trunks
drying on the radiator.
193
00:09:30,284 --> 00:09:32,444
I notice everything, me.
194
00:09:32,444 --> 00:09:35,364
That's the thing about us
make-up girls, we see it all.
195
00:09:35,364 --> 00:09:37,924
I could do with
an extra pair of eyes.
196
00:09:37,924 --> 00:09:39,964
Lynn's are going milky.
197
00:09:39,964 --> 00:09:42,564
I could be your spy.
Miss Moneypenny.
198
00:09:42,564 --> 00:09:46,684
Yes, although she's not a spy,
she's...she's M's secretary.
199
00:09:46,684 --> 00:09:50,324
She had a gun in the last film.
In the books, she's M's secretary.
200
00:09:50,324 --> 00:09:52,964
Well, I think me and you could make
a good team. We would.
201
00:09:52,964 --> 00:09:56,324
We'd make a good TV duo.
The best, the best duo since...
202
00:09:56,324 --> 00:09:59,204
Mulder and Scully.
Yeah, or Sapphire and Steel.
203
00:09:59,204 --> 00:10:01,724
Powder and comb? Who?
204
00:10:01,724 --> 00:10:04,404
Oh, no, powder and comb!
Oh, God!
205
00:10:04,404 --> 00:10:05,764
SHE LAUGHS
206
00:10:05,764 --> 00:10:08,484
Although it does sound
like a detective duo, doesn't it?
207
00:10:08,484 --> 00:10:10,884
SHE LAUGHS
208
00:10:13,924 --> 00:10:16,324
That's quite a long laugh.
209
00:10:16,324 --> 00:10:18,444
Yeah, it sounds like something
that could be on ITV.
210
00:10:18,444 --> 00:10:21,404
Yeah, it really could, actually.
Powder and Comb.
211
00:10:21,404 --> 00:10:26,684
Nigel Havers is DCI Powder, and a
feisty Anna Friel as DS Beth Comb.
212
00:10:26,684 --> 00:10:28,524
SHE LAUGHS
213
00:10:28,524 --> 00:10:30,924
He'd be powdering the scene
for fingerprints and she'd be
214
00:10:30,924 --> 00:10:33,604
combing the area for clues.
There's that long laugh again.
215
00:10:33,604 --> 00:10:36,844
Yeah, but it's funny, isn't it?
But it's also a good idea as well.
216
00:10:36,844 --> 00:10:40,084
Actually, I've got... I need to
write this down. Can I borrow this
217
00:10:40,084 --> 00:10:44,084
pen? Oh, it's eyeliner. ITV will
love this. ITV...
218
00:10:44,084 --> 00:10:47,044
You can keep that. Cheers.
Clear the floor.
219
00:10:49,324 --> 00:10:51,004
There you go. Oh, no, that's mine.
220
00:10:51,004 --> 00:10:53,204
Back on in five, four...
221
00:10:55,324 --> 00:10:59,004
Time for a change of mood, as we go
from heart-warming
222
00:10:59,004 --> 00:11:00,644
to health warning.
223
00:11:00,644 --> 00:11:03,764
Each week this month, we've been
showing a series of films
224
00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:06,484
exploring the dark
underbelly of British life.
225
00:11:06,484 --> 00:11:09,324
A new direction for which
we make no apology.
226
00:11:09,324 --> 00:11:12,284
In last week's offering,
Jennie confronted the owner
227
00:11:12,284 --> 00:11:15,804
of an unlicensed market stall and
shouted questions as he ran away.
228
00:11:15,804 --> 00:11:19,484
Next week, the series continues with
a powerful report from Alan
229
00:11:19,484 --> 00:11:22,924
on bare-knuckle boxing among
the Irish travelling community.
230
00:11:22,924 --> 00:11:24,764
I'm just getting that subtitled.
231
00:11:24,764 --> 00:11:28,444
Right now, though, Alan
reports on a very different pastime.
232
00:11:28,444 --> 00:11:31,844
We all have different ways to
let our hair down. I like my tennis.
233
00:11:31,844 --> 00:11:35,804
Yes, I like to go to a ceilidh
and really throw myself around.
234
00:11:35,804 --> 00:11:37,364
After a few pints of Guinness.
235
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,604
If I feel I've danced well,
I will allow myself
236
00:11:39,604 --> 00:11:41,964
a glass of Guinness, yeah,
once I've cooled down.
237
00:11:41,964 --> 00:11:45,244
But for some, R&R can take an
altogether more dangerous form.
238
00:11:45,244 --> 00:11:47,404
As Alan now reports,
239
00:11:47,404 --> 00:11:52,004
there's a growing trend among
the gay community for chemsex -
240
00:11:52,004 --> 00:11:55,324
the use of drugs to prolong and
enhance group sexual activity.
241
00:11:55,324 --> 00:11:57,684
The following report contains images
that some viewers
242
00:11:57,684 --> 00:11:59,444
will find disturbing.
243
00:11:59,444 --> 00:12:02,004
Basically, if you've got traditional
views on intimacy,
244
00:12:02,004 --> 00:12:04,284
you might want to pop the kettle
on, yeah.
245
00:12:05,604 --> 00:12:08,244
London's West End. For a young guy
new to the scene,
246
00:12:08,244 --> 00:12:10,284
it's a place of dizzying delights.
247
00:12:10,284 --> 00:12:13,524
MUSIC: Yes Sir, I Can Boogie
by Baccara
248
00:12:14,924 --> 00:12:17,924
But slow down the footage
and add some reverb,
249
00:12:17,924 --> 00:12:20,644
and its sinister side quickly
becomes apparent,
250
00:12:20,644 --> 00:12:24,484
for it's here amidst the swanky
flats, glitzy nightclubs
251
00:12:24,484 --> 00:12:28,164
and trendy hotels that chemsex has
reached epidemic proportions.
252
00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:32,124
Imagine two things you enjoy -
great individually,
253
00:12:32,124 --> 00:12:36,284
but put them together
and you get something quite special.
254
00:12:37,284 --> 00:12:38,724
Strawberries and cream.
255
00:12:38,724 --> 00:12:40,524
Egg and bacon.
256
00:12:40,524 --> 00:12:42,164
Yawning and scratching.
257
00:12:42,164 --> 00:12:43,964
Johnson & Johnson.
258
00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:46,564
Charles and Camilla.
259
00:12:46,564 --> 00:12:49,884
But what about drugs and sex?
260
00:12:49,884 --> 00:12:52,324
This...
261
00:12:52,324 --> 00:12:53,884
..is chemsex!
262
00:12:56,084 --> 00:13:00,044
Chemsex is a compound word - chem
derived from the word "chemical",
263
00:13:00,044 --> 00:13:02,884
and sex from the word "sex"
or "sexiness".
264
00:13:02,884 --> 00:13:05,124
Confined largely to
the gay community,
265
00:13:05,124 --> 00:13:07,124
it emerged around the year 2010.
266
00:13:07,124 --> 00:13:08,244
Partridge, you wanker!
267
00:13:08,244 --> 00:13:11,844
A time of unrestrained glee as a
nation dared to believe
268
00:13:11,844 --> 00:13:15,684
the nightmare of a Labour government
could soon be over. And as revellers
269
00:13:15,684 --> 00:13:19,564
lost their minds to the sound
of Keane and the Black-Eyed Beans,
270
00:13:19,564 --> 00:13:24,004
little wonder that the hedonism
spilled over into sex and drugs.
271
00:13:24,004 --> 00:13:26,844
The primary drugs involved
in chemsex are crystal meth,
272
00:13:26,844 --> 00:13:29,684
GHB, ketamine and mephedrone -
273
00:13:29,684 --> 00:13:32,324
a dose of which, under
controlled conditions,
274
00:13:32,324 --> 00:13:34,164
I was about to take myself,
275
00:13:34,164 --> 00:13:37,844
under the watchful eye of
pharmacist Dr Raj Prasan.
276
00:13:37,844 --> 00:13:40,444
Now, do you say M-Cat or
Meow-Meow?
277
00:13:40,444 --> 00:13:43,084
I say mephedrone, its
chemical name. Right.
278
00:13:43,084 --> 00:13:45,764
I like to say Meow-Meow.
279
00:13:45,764 --> 00:13:49,124
You're going to administer this drug
under controlled circumstances,
280
00:13:49,124 --> 00:13:51,444
and then I'm going to
gauge its effects.
281
00:13:51,444 --> 00:13:53,564
You're going to play guinea pig.
Right.
282
00:13:53,564 --> 00:13:55,884
That's, uh...
That wasn't explained to me.
283
00:13:55,884 --> 00:13:59,124
Uh... I've never played that.
284
00:13:59,124 --> 00:14:02,804
I mean, in terms of
the experiment... Oh, right!
285
00:14:02,804 --> 00:14:06,524
Sorry, I... I... Yeah, I thought
it was some sort of gay sex game.
286
00:14:06,524 --> 00:14:10,244
Mind you, I'm not sure a man can
squeal like a guinea pig, can he?
287
00:14:10,244 --> 00:14:11,764
I'm just a pharmacist.
288
00:14:11,764 --> 00:14:15,004
Right, yeah, cos you're
the chem of the chemsex, yeah.
289
00:14:15,004 --> 00:14:17,364
Sort of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde.
You're the...
290
00:14:17,364 --> 00:14:20,484
You're the Doctor Chem and, uh,
Mr Sex we've yet to meet.
291
00:14:20,484 --> 00:14:23,764
I'm just a pharmacist.
You said that, you said that.
292
00:14:23,764 --> 00:14:25,964
So, give us the drugs.
293
00:14:32,684 --> 00:14:36,844
Well, it's 30 minutes later and
I don't feel especially different.
294
00:14:36,844 --> 00:14:40,804
Certainly, the thought of grinding
myself against a stranger
295
00:14:40,804 --> 00:14:43,924
in a Holiday Inn is
far from my thoughts.
296
00:14:46,564 --> 00:14:47,644
Yeah.
297
00:14:48,964 --> 00:14:51,004
Well, it's over an hour later.
298
00:14:51,004 --> 00:14:53,884
I've been told that one
eyelid has drooped.
299
00:14:53,884 --> 00:14:56,884
I don't feel that much different.
Am I in the mood for dancing?
300
00:14:56,884 --> 00:14:58,524
Absolutely.
301
00:14:58,524 --> 00:15:00,364
Do I feel sexy?
302
00:15:00,364 --> 00:15:03,724
Barely. Although I do have
the sensation of wanting
303
00:15:03,724 --> 00:15:05,964
someone else to brush my hair.
304
00:15:07,004 --> 00:15:10,044
It's said the experiment
replicates exactly
305
00:15:10,044 --> 00:15:12,084
the sensation of
recreational drug use.
306
00:15:13,724 --> 00:15:16,924
Although, instead of being
surrounded by revellers chewing gum
307
00:15:16,924 --> 00:15:20,204
and asking if you're having a
good time, my only companion was
308
00:15:20,204 --> 00:15:23,244
a bearded doctor drinking coffee
and reading a magazine.
309
00:15:25,804 --> 00:15:29,844
Well, the effects have completely
worn off. My main recollection
310
00:15:29,844 --> 00:15:34,804
is an overwhelming desire to put on
my comfy pyjamas and watch Tarzan.
311
00:15:34,804 --> 00:15:36,244
Is that sexy?
312
00:15:36,244 --> 00:15:37,684
I've no idea.
313
00:15:37,684 --> 00:15:42,004
But it was a very new feeling
and it was a very real feeling.
314
00:15:42,004 --> 00:15:45,364
But what is a chemsex party
actually like?
315
00:15:45,364 --> 00:15:48,444
I made discrete enquiries at several
Norwich pubs
316
00:15:48,444 --> 00:15:51,324
and the comments section of
a local newspaper,
317
00:15:51,324 --> 00:15:54,404
and was soon invited to a party
in a suburban area
318
00:15:54,404 --> 00:15:56,964
I won't name in order
to protect house prices.
319
00:15:56,964 --> 00:15:59,404
INDISTINCT CHATTER
320
00:15:59,404 --> 00:16:01,444
But when I got there,
the revellers were wary.
321
00:16:01,444 --> 00:16:02,804
Evening.
322
00:16:02,804 --> 00:16:04,924
Whether or not that was
because I introduced myself
323
00:16:04,924 --> 00:16:07,964
with the words, "BBC Television.
Who here likes chemsex?",
324
00:16:07,964 --> 00:16:10,764
I don't know, but it took some
time before I got any of them
325
00:16:10,764 --> 00:16:12,164
to open up, verbally.
326
00:16:12,164 --> 00:16:13,804
So, guys, talk me through this.
327
00:16:13,804 --> 00:16:18,484
You gather at a
modern suburban semi,
328
00:16:18,484 --> 00:16:20,884
you take your drugs
329
00:16:20,884 --> 00:16:23,644
and then it's kecks off
and away you go?
330
00:16:23,644 --> 00:16:26,284
Well, yeah. Normally it lasts
all weekend,
331
00:16:26,284 --> 00:16:27,604
till Monday night sometimes.
332
00:16:27,604 --> 00:16:30,084
Crikey, Bob! Three days straight?!
333
00:16:30,084 --> 00:16:33,124
I mean, surely it gets to halfway
through the Monday
334
00:16:33,124 --> 00:16:35,564
and you think, "I just want to put
on some toast."
335
00:16:35,564 --> 00:16:38,204
Yeah, but by this stage
you've just been...
336
00:16:38,204 --> 00:16:40,844
I then bumped into a man I'd once
canaped with
337
00:16:40,844 --> 00:16:43,004
at a local radio fundraiser.
338
00:16:43,004 --> 00:16:46,324
Holistic Media, summer drinks party,
about a couple of years ago? Mm.
339
00:16:46,324 --> 00:16:48,364
Didn't know you're into chemsex.
340
00:16:48,364 --> 00:16:50,884
Yeah. Cathedral FM?
341
00:16:50,884 --> 00:16:52,364
Cathedral Digital.
342
00:16:52,364 --> 00:16:54,044
Why did I think you were
an analogue?
343
00:16:54,044 --> 00:16:56,284
Uh, well, we're trying to
get an FM licence. Ah.
344
00:16:56,284 --> 00:16:58,124
Cos our listeners skew older,
you know,
345
00:16:58,124 --> 00:16:59,924
it broadens your listener base.
Yeah.
346
00:16:59,924 --> 00:17:02,964
It broadens your listener base
overnight. Fine if Ofcom give you
347
00:17:02,964 --> 00:17:06,164
the green light. Oh, mate, do
not talk to me about Ofcom!
348
00:17:06,164 --> 00:17:09,284
Uh-oh! So, you know they extended
FM licences? To 2032.
349
00:17:09,284 --> 00:17:12,124
Yeah, but what they don't tell you
is all the hoops you have to
350
00:17:12,124 --> 00:17:15,684
jump through. Six hours of
locally made programmes a day.
351
00:17:15,684 --> 00:17:18,044
I thought it was three hours.
Mn-mn.
352
00:17:18,044 --> 00:17:20,644
That's only if you broadcast
local news on the hour.
353
00:17:20,644 --> 00:17:23,924
We only do peak times. Ah, breakfast
and drive. Yeah, exactly.
354
00:17:23,924 --> 00:17:25,364
So we've gone for the...
355
00:17:25,364 --> 00:17:28,244
And then it hit me - the demise of
men's social groups,
356
00:17:28,244 --> 00:17:30,444
from the Rotary Club to
trade unions,
357
00:17:30,444 --> 00:17:33,484
to the Duke of Edinburgh
Award Scheme and Round Table,
358
00:17:33,484 --> 00:17:36,044
has left men yearning
for male contact.
359
00:17:36,044 --> 00:17:39,564
Drugged-up heavy petting is one way
to go. Another is a quick pint
360
00:17:39,564 --> 00:17:42,964
and a chat about local radio,
which is what we did.
361
00:17:42,964 --> 00:17:45,044
Pop your shirt on,
I'll be in the car.
362
00:17:45,044 --> 00:17:47,844
Are you parked at the bottom of
the lane? No, on the road,
363
00:17:47,844 --> 00:17:50,724
under a street lamp.
I don't dog.
364
00:17:50,724 --> 00:17:54,084
So, yeah, on a clear day, I think
you can... It's a 25-mile view.
365
00:17:54,084 --> 00:17:56,364
I enjoyed going for a pint
with Clive
366
00:17:56,364 --> 00:17:58,444
and chatting about local radio.
367
00:17:58,444 --> 00:18:01,284
Regrettably, Clive's chattiness was
a result of him consuming
368
00:18:01,284 --> 00:18:03,884
his entire stash of Meow-Meow, and
he refused to let me go home
369
00:18:03,884 --> 00:18:06,164
until it had worn off.
370
00:18:06,164 --> 00:18:09,004
And although we won't be keeping
in touch, I hope it helped him
371
00:18:09,004 --> 00:18:12,284
look at chemsex a little differently
and go back to his wife.
372
00:18:12,284 --> 00:18:15,484
..cos it's not far from the M25,
so you've got that all going on...
373
00:18:17,324 --> 00:18:21,604
Well, a window into a world I'm sure
many of us had little idea existed.
374
00:18:21,604 --> 00:18:24,404
Yes, it's really quite shocking,
and I don't mean that
375
00:18:24,404 --> 00:18:25,964
in a finger-wagging sort of way.
376
00:18:25,964 --> 00:18:29,284
Some of these young men can be
aroused for eight hours straight.
377
00:18:29,284 --> 00:18:31,924
Well, that's the equivalent of
driving from London to Aberdeen
378
00:18:31,924 --> 00:18:34,604
with a permanent erection,
and it's...it's not
379
00:18:34,604 --> 00:18:37,044
going to incur you penalty points,
but it's...
380
00:18:37,044 --> 00:18:38,804
..it's just a vulgar way to drive.
381
00:18:38,804 --> 00:18:41,724
If you're struggling with any of
the issues tackled in Alan's report,
382
00:18:41,724 --> 00:18:44,884
see our website for a list of
organisations you can talk to.
383
00:18:44,884 --> 00:18:47,724
And if you must chemsex,
chemsex safe.
384
00:18:47,724 --> 00:18:49,204
Use one of these.
385
00:18:49,204 --> 00:18:51,244
It's a thick condom.
386
00:18:51,244 --> 00:18:54,564
And Simon has more of your stories
of wartime heroism.
387
00:18:54,564 --> 00:18:56,724
I've got a couple of, uh,
tweets have come in.
388
00:18:56,724 --> 00:19:00,324
One from Ella Blissett, who
nominates her grandfather, Arthur.
389
00:19:00,324 --> 00:19:03,564
She says, "During the war,
he secretly sheltered a dozen
390
00:19:03,564 --> 00:19:06,684
"Jewish women in the basement of his
house in Putney." Incredible.
391
00:19:06,684 --> 00:19:10,124
In Putney? And a Tweet says, "While
it's right to recognise heroism..."
392
00:19:10,124 --> 00:19:12,564
In a basement?! "..if you give them
all a badge..."
393
00:19:12,564 --> 00:19:14,444
Yes, "If you give them all a badge,
394
00:19:14,444 --> 00:19:16,444
"your honours system will
become devalued."
395
00:19:16,444 --> 00:19:18,284
Oh. That is a fair point, actually.
396
00:19:18,284 --> 00:19:20,844
I remember when they gave a
Blue Peter badge to a dog,
397
00:19:20,844 --> 00:19:23,204
I sent mine back. Oh, you had
a Blue Peter badge, did you?
398
00:19:23,204 --> 00:19:26,204
I did. I was a very
proud 13-year-old.
399
00:19:26,204 --> 00:19:28,924
What did you get it for?
A bring-and-buy sale?
400
00:19:28,924 --> 00:19:32,284
No, no, I restored
a Victorian folly, actually.
401
00:19:32,284 --> 00:19:35,524
Um, I got permission to use
20 young offenders
402
00:19:35,524 --> 00:19:39,004
for the more menial aspects of the
job. Two of them absconded but were
403
00:19:39,004 --> 00:19:42,724
successfully re-apprehended and
stripped of their visiting rights.
404
00:19:42,724 --> 00:19:44,244
How old were they?
405
00:19:44,244 --> 00:19:46,284
13. We were all 13.
406
00:19:46,284 --> 00:19:50,324
Now, ask 100 middle-aged men how
they wouldn't want to spend
407
00:19:50,324 --> 00:19:53,164
an evening, and inevitably
the top three answers would be
408
00:19:53,164 --> 00:19:56,284
"at the theatre", "with my wife",
and "in therapy".
409
00:19:56,284 --> 00:19:59,684
But an evening with our next guest
not only combines all three, but
410
00:19:59,684 --> 00:20:03,364
can point to dozens of men and women
who are happier for the experience.
411
00:20:03,364 --> 00:20:05,484
We are talking about drama therapy.
412
00:20:05,484 --> 00:20:07,444
Therapy? Drama?
413
00:20:07,444 --> 00:20:10,484
Well, to tell us more, we're joined
by actor and therapist, Izzy Barns.
414
00:20:10,484 --> 00:20:13,404
Izzy, welcome. Thank you so much.
It's a pleasure to be with you.
415
00:20:13,404 --> 00:20:16,164
Can I just say - what a wonderful
voice! Thank you.
416
00:20:16,164 --> 00:20:20,084
As actors, we learn to be centred
and to breathe from our diaphragms.
417
00:20:20,084 --> 00:20:22,244
Mm, and that's true of politicians,
too, of course.
418
00:20:22,244 --> 00:20:25,484
Yes, Margaret Thatcher famously
had a voice coach, um,
419
00:20:25,484 --> 00:20:27,524
after which her voice
became a lot deeper.
420
00:20:27,524 --> 00:20:30,364
Yeah, she did. Lady Thatcher,
I think, went from sounding
421
00:20:30,364 --> 00:20:33,004
like the kind of woman who wouldn't
let you have your ball back,
422
00:20:33,004 --> 00:20:36,764
to sounding like a sort of a, "Ooh!"
423
00:20:36,764 --> 00:20:38,484
Like the backdraught from a furnace.
424
00:20:38,484 --> 00:20:40,364
I actually think it's
quite attractive
425
00:20:40,364 --> 00:20:42,564
when women have deeper voices,
don't you?
426
00:20:42,564 --> 00:20:44,844
It is. Well, I know for a fact
Jacob Rees-Mogg had a poster
427
00:20:44,844 --> 00:20:46,764
of Lady Thatcher on his
bedroom wall.
428
00:20:46,764 --> 00:20:47,924
Sorry, ceiling.
429
00:20:47,924 --> 00:20:51,484
So, drama therapy, it's therapy that
uses role play to help people
430
00:20:51,484 --> 00:20:54,764
work through difficult or
challenging situations.
431
00:20:54,764 --> 00:20:58,644
Well, like therapy, good drama
encourages us to look inside.
432
00:20:58,644 --> 00:21:01,444
Mm. It helps us to understand
our own behaviour
433
00:21:01,444 --> 00:21:03,444
and deal with emotional issues.
434
00:21:03,444 --> 00:21:07,124
In fact, Simon was telling me
earlier that Aristotle coined
435
00:21:07,124 --> 00:21:12,004
the term "catharsis" to describe the
healing we experience through drama.
436
00:21:12,004 --> 00:21:14,804
Hubris, nemesis, catharsis.
437
00:21:14,804 --> 00:21:16,644
It's all Greek to me!
438
00:21:16,644 --> 00:21:18,524
I thought I'd do the joke this time,
439
00:21:18,524 --> 00:21:20,524
seeing as Simon was being
a bit serious.
440
00:21:20,524 --> 00:21:23,924
But what kind of problems does drama
therapy help to confront?
441
00:21:23,924 --> 00:21:27,524
It's very versatile. Marital strife,
workplace disagreements,
442
00:21:27,524 --> 00:21:30,964
psychological trauma. Drama therapy
is not always easy. It can be very
443
00:21:30,964 --> 00:21:34,684
challenging and sometimes tearful,
but it should always feel welcoming.
444
00:21:34,684 --> 00:21:37,204
I think you just described
the pub quiz I go to.
445
00:21:37,204 --> 00:21:39,604
JENNIE LAUGHS
You see, you should be saying this.
446
00:21:39,604 --> 00:21:42,764
Catharsis! Now, I believe we're
going to see some drama therapy
447
00:21:42,764 --> 00:21:46,164
in action. That's right, Jennie.
Over here, we have two actors...
448
00:21:46,164 --> 00:21:49,604
Mm-hm. ..Daniel and Louise,
and in a typical therapy situation,
449
00:21:49,604 --> 00:21:53,204
they would play out scenarios
that couples can try themselves.
450
00:21:53,204 --> 00:21:56,364
Right. Um, now, in this scenario,
451
00:21:56,364 --> 00:21:59,884
Louise thinks that Daniel is
emotionally closed off,
452
00:21:59,884 --> 00:22:02,084
but Daniel feels that as he's
getting older,
453
00:22:02,084 --> 00:22:03,884
he does need more space.
454
00:22:03,884 --> 00:22:05,444
Guys?
455
00:22:05,444 --> 00:22:07,564
And you wonder why
we never resolve anything.
456
00:22:07,564 --> 00:22:10,484
It's because we argue and then,
five minutes later, you get upset
457
00:22:10,484 --> 00:22:12,244
and I have to back down.
458
00:22:12,244 --> 00:22:14,164
No-one's saying you have to.
459
00:22:14,164 --> 00:22:16,324
But that's what happens
when you play that card.
460
00:22:16,324 --> 00:22:18,604
It's not a card, Daniel.
It's how I feel.
461
00:22:18,604 --> 00:22:22,324
Just because you're a closed book
doesn't mean I have to be.
462
00:22:22,324 --> 00:22:23,764
What am I supposed to say to that?
463
00:22:23,764 --> 00:22:26,684
You should tell her that... Sorry,
that's... No, no, no, that's fine.
464
00:22:26,684 --> 00:22:28,804
Do you want to jump in?
Oh, me? God, no.
465
00:22:28,804 --> 00:22:31,044
Yeah, no, please do,
step in for Daniel.
466
00:22:31,044 --> 00:22:33,844
No, it's just, I've not acted
for quite a while.
467
00:22:33,844 --> 00:22:35,924
Oh, I'm sorry,
I hadn't realised you acted.
468
00:22:35,924 --> 00:22:38,524
Oh, uh, yeah, I mean, just
with North Norfolk Players,
469
00:22:38,524 --> 00:22:41,644
a bit of acting,
producing, directing.
470
00:22:41,644 --> 00:22:44,124
Most recently, A Few Good Men,
so, yeah.
471
00:22:44,124 --> 00:22:47,284
Oh, amazing, what part did you play?
The Jack Nicholson role, so, yeah.
472
00:22:47,284 --> 00:22:50,484
Ooh! Yeah. A bit of a tough act
to follow, but, uh,
473
00:22:50,484 --> 00:22:53,604
I just tried to do it sort of,
you know, like...like...
474
00:22:53,604 --> 00:22:56,364
"The truth?! You can't handle
the truth!"
475
00:22:56,364 --> 00:22:57,844
HE SCOFFS
476
00:22:57,844 --> 00:23:00,484
Yeah, so I sort of went higher,
then I did the scoff at the end,
477
00:23:00,484 --> 00:23:02,924
which I don't think Nicholson
thought of, so...
478
00:23:02,924 --> 00:23:05,364
Well, how would you feel
about having a go at this scene?
479
00:23:05,364 --> 00:23:06,964
Uh, yeah, sure. Why not?
480
00:23:06,964 --> 00:23:10,844
Oh, great. OK, um, Daniel,
you step out.
481
00:23:10,844 --> 00:23:13,884
Louise, you're in the kitchen,
you're making dinner.
482
00:23:13,884 --> 00:23:17,364
And, Alan, just start a conversation
when you're ready. OK.
483
00:23:24,844 --> 00:23:26,684
Don't overthink it.
OK, yeah, right.
484
00:23:35,204 --> 00:23:37,724
Mm, smells good.
485
00:23:37,724 --> 00:23:39,284
It's just spag bol.
486
00:23:39,284 --> 00:23:40,644
I didn't mean the dinner.
487
00:23:40,644 --> 00:23:42,644
Well, you never normally
come in till it's cold.
488
00:23:42,644 --> 00:23:44,004
HE SIGHS
489
00:23:44,004 --> 00:23:47,844
Look, I'm sorry to go on.
I just don't want you to feel
490
00:23:47,844 --> 00:23:50,884
like I'm complaining because
I want to spend time with you.
491
00:23:50,884 --> 00:23:54,724
AMERICAN ACCENT: Hey, baby girl,
just been out on my bike.
492
00:23:54,724 --> 00:23:57,364
My motorcycling's important to me,
you know that.
493
00:23:59,884 --> 00:24:01,964
But you know the best
part of the journey?
494
00:24:01,964 --> 00:24:04,164
HE EXHALES
495
00:24:04,164 --> 00:24:06,604
Riding that steel horse
back home to you.
496
00:24:06,604 --> 00:24:09,324
Try it without the accent.
Me or her? You.
497
00:24:09,324 --> 00:24:10,964
OK, but the general direction...?
498
00:24:10,964 --> 00:24:13,684
Forget all that. Both of you sit
at the table. OK.
499
00:24:13,684 --> 00:24:16,964
Now, let's just pretend that
she's your actual wife.
500
00:24:18,604 --> 00:24:21,124
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
501
00:24:21,124 --> 00:24:23,564
Look, I wish I could spend
more time with you.
502
00:24:23,564 --> 00:24:25,924
See, I hear you saying that,
but I don't feel it.
503
00:24:25,924 --> 00:24:27,604
Then we'll figure something out,
504
00:24:27,604 --> 00:24:30,084
but you're going to have to stop
going on at me.
505
00:24:30,084 --> 00:24:32,524
I'm sorry if I've got a gift
that people enjoy
506
00:24:32,524 --> 00:24:35,564
and I find very satisfying. I'm
sorry that you don't have that
507
00:24:35,564 --> 00:24:38,004
because, for some reason, God didn't
give you any talent.
508
00:24:38,004 --> 00:24:40,204
Shall we stop there?
Yeah, that felt good.
509
00:24:40,204 --> 00:24:41,844
Well, that's all we have time for.
510
00:24:41,844 --> 00:24:43,884
Plenty of food for thought there.
511
00:24:43,884 --> 00:24:47,324
Izzy, Daniel and Louise -
thank you so much for joining us.
512
00:24:47,324 --> 00:24:52,004
Now, when we think of archaeology,
we picture mud, drizzle
513
00:24:52,004 --> 00:24:54,884
and bearded men getting
excited about a broken cup,
514
00:24:54,884 --> 00:24:57,924
but once upon a time,
archaeology wasn't boring.
515
00:24:57,924 --> 00:24:59,924
Next year marks 100 years
516
00:24:59,924 --> 00:25:03,884
since the discovery of Tutankhamun's
burial chamber, and to celebrate,
517
00:25:03,884 --> 00:25:07,044
the BBC is to recreate
Howard Carter's quest
518
00:25:07,044 --> 00:25:08,604
to find the lost tomb.
519
00:25:08,604 --> 00:25:12,084
In a moment we'll talk to the show's
presenter, Sam Chatwin.
520
00:25:12,084 --> 00:25:15,564
But first, our 60-second
lowdown on Howard Carter
521
00:25:15,564 --> 00:25:17,444
and the search for King Tut.
522
00:25:19,244 --> 00:25:21,044
And we're off.
523
00:25:21,044 --> 00:25:22,564
I'd forgotten about that.
524
00:25:22,564 --> 00:25:24,524
Good news from Norwich. Go on.
525
00:25:24,524 --> 00:25:26,844
Greville Marchant has just got
done by the Inland Revenue.
526
00:25:26,844 --> 00:25:29,764
Your anonymous phone call?
It worked. Well done, Lynn.
527
00:25:32,564 --> 00:25:35,284
I am sorry about you and Sam.
528
00:25:35,284 --> 00:25:37,284
Well, I'm sure it's for the best.
529
00:25:37,284 --> 00:25:39,324
That's the spirit.
You're not a fan, then?
530
00:25:39,324 --> 00:25:43,004
Oh, well it's not my place to say.
531
00:25:43,004 --> 00:25:45,404
No, I'd be interested to know
what you...
532
00:25:45,404 --> 00:25:48,684
I thought he was a bighead. Cocky.
533
00:25:48,684 --> 00:25:50,444
Smarmy.
534
00:25:50,444 --> 00:25:52,124
Slippery.
535
00:25:52,124 --> 00:25:54,364
Yeah, well, you think you
know someone...
536
00:25:54,364 --> 00:25:57,604
I wouldn't worry. One day someone
will wipe the smile off his face.
537
00:25:59,044 --> 00:26:01,284
And his eyes are too thin.
538
00:26:04,444 --> 00:26:06,644
Lynn doesn't pull any punches,
does she?
539
00:26:06,644 --> 00:26:09,364
Oh, no, no. Do you know,
she once saw a pheasant
540
00:26:09,364 --> 00:26:12,444
limping by the side of the road,
got out the car, wrung its neck,
541
00:26:12,444 --> 00:26:14,884
made the sign of the cross,
chucked it in the boot, got back in.
542
00:26:14,884 --> 00:26:17,324
The whole thing was over in less
than ten seconds.
543
00:26:17,324 --> 00:26:19,364
Clear the floor.
544
00:26:20,604 --> 00:26:22,724
Didn't have much of a limp,
to be honest.
545
00:26:22,724 --> 00:26:24,284
Can we get the link to Sam Chatwin?
546
00:26:24,284 --> 00:26:26,684
Now, listen, I've got this,
right? You sit it out.
547
00:26:26,684 --> 00:26:28,324
No, I should do it, it's fine.
548
00:26:28,324 --> 00:26:31,124
It's just a normal guest
with a show to plug.
549
00:26:31,124 --> 00:26:33,764
All right, but don't let him get
in here. Mm-hm.
550
00:26:33,764 --> 00:26:36,844
Yeah, that's a no-go area, because
I know what his type are like.
551
00:26:36,844 --> 00:26:39,164
He'll end up saying your love
is like Egyptian gold,
552
00:26:39,164 --> 00:26:41,884
to try and win you back. And we're
back on... Yeah, it'll be fine.
553
00:26:41,884 --> 00:26:44,524
..in five, four...
554
00:26:44,524 --> 00:26:47,364
Welcome back, and as promised we're
now joined by a man
555
00:26:47,364 --> 00:26:49,524
that needs no introduction,
Sam Chatwin.
556
00:26:49,524 --> 00:26:51,644
Hello, Alan. Hi, Jennie.
557
00:26:51,644 --> 00:26:53,644
How are you?
558
00:26:53,644 --> 00:26:55,844
How does it feel to follow
in the footsteps
559
00:26:55,844 --> 00:26:58,204
of such a revered figure as Carter?
560
00:26:58,204 --> 00:27:01,004
Jen, if I'm honest,
it's truly humbling.
561
00:27:01,004 --> 00:27:02,804
Can't imagine you humbled.
562
00:27:02,804 --> 00:27:04,084
ALAN CHUCKLES
563
00:27:04,084 --> 00:27:06,004
Well, people can change.
564
00:27:06,004 --> 00:27:07,884
What about leopards?
ALAN CHUCKLES
565
00:27:07,884 --> 00:27:09,924
Pardon?
ALAN CHUCKLES
566
00:27:09,924 --> 00:27:12,964
Uh, now, the Valley of the Kings is
an area of several thousand
567
00:27:12,964 --> 00:27:16,004
square metres, so for Howard Carter,
finding Tutankhamun
568
00:27:16,004 --> 00:27:18,244
was a needle in a haystack.
569
00:27:18,244 --> 00:27:19,884
Yeah, but find him he did.
570
00:27:19,884 --> 00:27:23,484
He was patient and he didn't give
up, Jennie. Nyeh.
571
00:27:23,484 --> 00:27:26,204
You know, he sorely tested
the patience of his benefactor,
572
00:27:26,204 --> 00:27:29,644
Lord Carnarvon, but Carnarvon
gave him one last chance.
573
00:27:29,644 --> 00:27:31,284
Ha!
574
00:27:31,284 --> 00:27:33,604
Sorry, what was that? Ha!
575
00:27:33,604 --> 00:27:35,124
Mm.
576
00:27:35,124 --> 00:27:38,564
So, uh, yes, Carter had setbacks
but he wouldn't be deterred.
577
00:27:38,564 --> 00:27:41,004
"Give me one last summer,"
he said to Carnarvon.
578
00:27:41,004 --> 00:27:42,484
"One last summer, please."
579
00:27:42,484 --> 00:27:45,084
Carnarvon gave him that chance,
and a couple of weeks later
580
00:27:45,084 --> 00:27:47,724
Carter stumbled across the tomb
of Tutankhamun.
581
00:27:47,724 --> 00:27:50,764
He cracked open the plaster, held up
a candle and said,
582
00:27:50,764 --> 00:27:53,844
"All I see are wonderful things."
583
00:27:53,844 --> 00:27:57,044
All had seemed lost, but there
he was, gazing upon treasures
584
00:27:57,044 --> 00:27:59,884
and riches he never could have
dreamed of.
585
00:27:59,884 --> 00:28:02,924
Something that applies to every
one of us, Jennie.
586
00:28:02,924 --> 00:28:05,164
Wow, that's bollocks.
587
00:28:05,164 --> 00:28:07,084
And Valley of the Kings will be
588
00:28:07,084 --> 00:28:09,084
coming to BBC One in the spring.
589
00:28:09,084 --> 00:28:11,364
A very sweaty Sam Chatwin there.
I don't know if that was
590
00:28:11,364 --> 00:28:14,484
because he was in Egypt or for some
reason he was under pressure.
591
00:28:14,484 --> 00:28:16,604
BELL DINGS
Oh, that's a Queen song!
592
00:28:16,604 --> 00:28:18,364
Under Pressure.
It is! That's 12!
593
00:28:18,364 --> 00:28:20,084
APPLAUSE
Goodnight.
594
00:28:20,084 --> 00:28:21,524
Goodnight.
50864
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