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1
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[indistinct chatter in background]
2
00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:22,022
[Luther grunts]
3
00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:23,189
[bell dings]
4
00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:25,400
[phone ringing]
5
00:00:27,902 --> 00:00:30,071
[Luther exhales]
6
00:00:30,155 --> 00:00:31,322
Good mornin'!
7
00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:33,700
-[phone rings]
-For some.
8
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:35,869
Huh.
9
00:00:35,952 --> 00:00:38,455
["The Passenger" by Iggy Pop playing]
10
00:00:38,538 --> 00:00:40,415
[exhales sharply, grunts]
11
00:00:51,968 --> 00:00:54,137
[raven cawing]
12
00:00:57,682 --> 00:00:59,768
♪ I am the passenger ♪
13
00:01:00,435 --> 00:01:02,937
-[Luther] Morning!
-♪ And I ride, and I ride ♪
14
00:01:03,021 --> 00:01:04,314
[raven squawking]
15
00:01:04,814 --> 00:01:08,026
♪ I ride through the city's backsides ♪
16
00:01:08,109 --> 00:01:11,237
-[cawing]
-♪ I see the stars come out of the sky ♪
17
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:14,783
♪ Yeah they're bright in a hollow sky ♪
18
00:01:14,866 --> 00:01:18,620
-[rapid grunts]
-♪ You know it looks so good tonight ♪
19
00:01:18,703 --> 00:01:19,704
[sighs]
20
00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:22,040
[Luther] Huh.
21
00:01:26,294 --> 00:01:28,296
♪ I am the passenger… ♪
22
00:01:28,379 --> 00:01:30,048
[ominous music playing]
23
00:01:30,131 --> 00:01:32,342
[ravens cawing]
24
00:01:32,425 --> 00:01:34,761
[cawing, wings fluttering]
25
00:01:34,844 --> 00:01:36,805
Oh shit.
26
00:01:37,972 --> 00:01:39,307
Shit!
27
00:01:39,390 --> 00:01:40,975
Whoa!
28
00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:43,103
[cawing]
29
00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:44,270
Whoa!
30
00:01:46,523 --> 00:01:48,691
[frightened whimpering]
31
00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:49,609
[grunts]
32
00:01:52,403 --> 00:01:53,363
[Luther groans]
33
00:01:53,446 --> 00:01:56,407
[ravens squawking]
34
00:01:56,491 --> 00:01:58,785
-[energy pulsing]
-Oh… Whoa!
35
00:01:59,410 --> 00:02:00,537
Oh shit!
36
00:02:03,748 --> 00:02:04,833
Hello there, stranger.
37
00:02:04,916 --> 00:02:06,918
[dramatic orchestral music playing]
38
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:11,840
Oh! Hey.
39
00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:19,472
[ravens cawing]
40
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:28,523
[thunder rumbling]
41
00:02:29,190 --> 00:02:31,943
[somber orchestral music playing]
42
00:02:32,610 --> 00:02:34,696
This one, or this one?
43
00:02:34,779 --> 00:02:37,949
Uh-uh. I wanna hear about the time
44
00:02:38,032 --> 00:02:41,119
the Umbrella Academy
defeated the robbers at the museum.
45
00:02:41,202 --> 00:02:42,662
[Allison] Again?
46
00:02:43,371 --> 00:02:45,290
Okay. [laughs softly]
47
00:02:46,457 --> 00:02:49,711
It was a dark and stormy night…
48
00:02:51,796 --> 00:02:52,922
[gasps]
49
00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:55,758
[excited breaths]
50
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,768
Claire, it's Mommy.
51
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:07,604
-Mommy?
-[gasps]
52
00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:08,688
[screaming]
53
00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:10,148
What?
54
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:12,567
-Who the hell are you?
-Patrick? Wh--
55
00:03:12,650 --> 00:03:15,862
-Mommy! Mommy!
-What's going on? Who is this woman?
56
00:03:15,945 --> 00:03:17,197
Wh-- Where's my baby?
57
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:18,698
You have ten seconds to leave.
58
00:03:18,781 --> 00:03:21,284
-Where is Claire?!
-Lady, there's no Claire here.
59
00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:23,411
-You're scaring her!
-I'm sorry. I…
60
00:03:25,079 --> 00:03:26,831
[shuddering breaths]
61
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:28,750
Something is wrong.
62
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:33,838
Something is very wrong.
63
00:03:34,505 --> 00:03:36,507
-[thunderclap]
-[man clears throat]
64
00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:38,301
[man] We're here. Hotel Obsidian.
65
00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:50,772
[phone ringing]
66
00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:04,869
[pensive instrumental music playing]
67
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:09,249
We take all kinds here.
68
00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:38,069
[Sissy] You have given me
69
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the greatest gift of a lifetime.
70
00:04:42,073 --> 00:04:45,326
You let me feel alive for the first time.
71
00:04:46,577 --> 00:04:47,620
[weeping]
72
00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:49,622
You helped me find hope again.
73
00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:52,375
That's a wonderful thing.
74
00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:55,878
[emotional string music playing]
75
00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:20,278
[Sissy] You don't even notice
the box that you're in
76
00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:23,406
until someone comes along
and lets you out.
77
00:05:37,795 --> 00:05:39,380
-[barber] Can I help you?
-Hey.
78
00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:44,844
Thanks.
79
00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:54,729
[groans]
80
00:05:56,981 --> 00:05:58,983
-[squeals]
-[playful instrumental music playing]
81
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:00,109
[exhales sharply]
82
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:02,653
[Diego snoring]
83
00:06:11,287 --> 00:06:13,289
[Diego continues snoring softly]
84
00:06:20,922 --> 00:06:24,675
[Klaus] Old Holland Road, Pennsylvania.
85
00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:26,552
-Hmm.
-[Diego sighs]
86
00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:28,930
[snoring softly]
87
00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:34,811
[light jazz music playing]
88
00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:42,068
[phone ringing]
89
00:06:52,495 --> 00:06:54,122
Christ, what a dump.
90
00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:59,252
That little delinquent is your son?
91
00:06:59,335 --> 00:07:02,588
-Allegedly my son.
-[laughs] That's so funny!
92
00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:07,385
Wait, who's… who's the mother?
93
00:07:07,468 --> 00:07:09,053
-Lila.
-Excuse me?
94
00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:10,763
-Whoa, Lila's here?
-[Diego] Was.
95
00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:13,099
She dropped him off in my lap
last night then bolted.
96
00:07:13,182 --> 00:07:15,309
-I don't much care for that one.
-Don't.
97
00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:16,853
Technically, she's family.
98
00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:19,188
She was trying to murder us,
like, yesterday.
99
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:22,733
Yeah, like I said, "family."
Diego, is she coming back?
100
00:07:22,817 --> 00:07:24,235
Well, she goddamn better be
101
00:07:24,318 --> 00:07:27,405
because we got more important things
to be dealing with right now!
102
00:07:27,488 --> 00:07:28,614
[Klaus] Calm down. Shh.
103
00:07:32,076 --> 00:07:35,288
-Where's Luther?
-Who cares? Probably out for… a run.
104
00:07:35,371 --> 00:07:36,622
[Klaus] Mmm!
105
00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:38,499
Love the haircut.
106
00:07:42,378 --> 00:07:44,839
So I, uh, talked to Marcus last night.
107
00:07:44,922 --> 00:07:46,674
Wait, what? You talked with the enemy?
108
00:07:46,757 --> 00:07:48,843
-[Diego] By yourself?
-Somebody had to do something.
109
00:07:48,926 --> 00:07:50,470
Who elected you, Vanya?
110
00:07:52,263 --> 00:07:53,681
It's, uh, Viktor.
111
00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:55,933
Who's Viktor?
112
00:07:56,767 --> 00:07:59,061
[dramatic music playing]
113
00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:01,772
I am.
114
00:08:02,273 --> 00:08:03,608
It's who I've always been.
115
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:13,367
-Uh, is that an issue for anyone?
-[Klaus chuckles]
116
00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:15,036
Nah, I'm good with it.
117
00:08:15,119 --> 00:08:17,205
Yeah, me too. Cool.
118
00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:19,874
Truly happy for you, Viktor.
119
00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:23,127
But last time I checked,
you don't speak for this family.
120
00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:25,838
Okay, well, it's fine, okay?
Marcus totally gets it.
121
00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:28,049
He doesn't want a war any more than we do.
122
00:08:28,132 --> 00:08:30,468
What are you talking about?
He tried to homicide us!
123
00:08:30,551 --> 00:08:33,054
-So did Lila, and you had a kid with her.
-That's not the point!
124
00:08:33,137 --> 00:08:34,096
[Viktor] We made a deal.
125
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:37,767
He's gonna give back Five's briefcase,
then we're gonna get out of the timeline.
126
00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:39,977
We're gonna meet later today
for the, uh, the handover.
127
00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:40,895
Oh, thank God!
128
00:08:40,978 --> 00:08:43,272
That's a rookie move. Dude is playing you.
129
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,566
-Oh, really?
-[Diego] Yeah, but maybe we can use this.
130
00:08:45,650 --> 00:08:48,611
And we turn it back on them,
and then we wipe them the hell out.
131
00:08:48,694 --> 00:08:50,071
Diego, stop, please.
132
00:08:50,154 --> 00:08:52,782
And you're not gonna,
like, do anything today.
133
00:08:52,865 --> 00:08:55,034
Except bond with your spawn.
134
00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:57,453
Alleged spawn.
135
00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:58,996
[Viktor] I will get the briefcase,
136
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:01,666
and then we will all go back
and fix the timeline.
137
00:09:01,749 --> 00:09:05,002
Hey, we're not going anywhere!
This is a perfectly acceptable timeline.
138
00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:08,714
Yeah, why don't you tell that to Allison,
who's upstairs grieving her daughter,
139
00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:09,966
who doesn't even exist here!
140
00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:11,425
Not to mention, we've been replaced
141
00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:13,970
by a bunch of blobs
and cubes and birds and shit!
142
00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:17,181
News flash, geniuses! It's not about us!
143
00:09:17,265 --> 00:09:18,432
Take a look around.
144
00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:20,977
If you hadn't noticed,
there's no doomsday.
145
00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:23,604
There's no apocalypse. The sun is shining.
146
00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:25,982
Birds are doing
whatever the hell birds do.
147
00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:29,026
That's all that matters.
We're done messing with time.
148
00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:32,280
And I'm officially retired.
149
00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:33,614
[sniffing]
150
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,368
Is he wearing aftershave?
151
00:09:38,494 --> 00:09:39,704
I'm concerned.
152
00:09:39,787 --> 00:09:40,788
[energy thrumming]
153
00:09:40,871 --> 00:09:43,499
[shockwave pulsing]
154
00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:47,795
[distant screaming]
155
00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:59,515
Hey. What do you say
we get outta here, huh?
156
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,976
Take a little… road trip.
157
00:10:02,893 --> 00:10:04,061
What are you talking about?
158
00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:06,856
I'm talking about
a sojourn to the countryside.
159
00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:09,775
You and me, the wind in our hair.
160
00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:12,278
Thelma and Louise on the open road.
161
00:10:12,361 --> 00:10:13,863
You know they die in the end, right?
162
00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:15,531
Holding hands,
163
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:19,368
living our best life, my little cherub!
164
00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:20,911
[quietly] Listen to me.
165
00:10:21,412 --> 00:10:25,041
I nearly died
from Luther's sleep farts last night.
166
00:10:25,124 --> 00:10:27,418
We need to get out of here,
get some fresh air!
167
00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:29,462
Okay, I'll bite. Why me, Klaus?
168
00:10:29,545 --> 00:10:31,964
Because you said… you said you're retired,
169
00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:34,175
and that's what retired people do.
170
00:10:34,258 --> 00:10:35,760
[Klaus] And don't you deserve some fun?
171
00:10:35,843 --> 00:10:37,678
-[Five] There's no lobsters.
-[Klaus] Excuse me?
172
00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:39,889
There were three lobsters
in that tank a minute ago.
173
00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:43,601
Yeah, well, you know, maybe Chet
blended 'em into a morning smoothie.
174
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:49,398
-You're an idiot, but I'm in.
-Whoo!
175
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:51,942
-[Stan] Let me go! Get your hands off me!
-I saw what you did!
176
00:10:52,026 --> 00:10:53,611
Hey, what the hell are you doing?
177
00:10:53,694 --> 00:10:56,697
Your son stuffed
three mini muffins down his pants.
178
00:10:56,781 --> 00:11:00,159
And this is a buffet!
I can take whatever the hell I want!
179
00:11:00,951 --> 00:11:02,244
I got him. Come on.
180
00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:04,789
-[Stan] Wait, take it easy.
-[Diego] Time for some ground rules.
181
00:11:04,872 --> 00:11:06,332
How about no physical assault?
182
00:11:06,415 --> 00:11:08,834
-That's a--
-Shut up and listen.
183
00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:12,838
-[phone ringing in background]
-[distant siren wailing]
184
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:16,258
My father was a Hall of Fame asshole.
185
00:11:17,593 --> 00:11:20,721
And when I was a little pissant like you,
I made a promise to myself
186
00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:24,433
that I would never act like him
to any kid of… mine.
187
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:26,268
Yeah, stop. I'm gonna cry.
188
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:29,689
But I'm a busy man,
with a lot on my shoulders, okay?
189
00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:32,566
So I'm not gonna let you
slow me down either, all right?
190
00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:34,735
Yeah, you look really busy right now.
191
00:11:35,403 --> 00:11:38,823
You can stay
until your mom gets back, all right?
192
00:11:38,906 --> 00:11:41,075
But no more doing dumb shit,
193
00:11:41,158 --> 00:11:43,619
or else you and I
are gonna have a serious problem.
194
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:44,662
Look at me.
195
00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:47,289
¿Me entiendes?
196
00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:51,502
[playful instrumental music playing]
197
00:11:51,585 --> 00:11:52,586
Dude, your
198
00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:54,755
ear's leaking.
199
00:11:55,506 --> 00:11:57,007
Oh, I…
200
00:11:57,091 --> 00:12:00,094
Yeah, I forgot to pack my ear medicine.
201
00:12:00,177 --> 00:12:02,596
Oh sh-- Ear medicine, huh?
202
00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:06,892
If I don't drain it, uh, pus leaks out,
and it smells like cat puke.
203
00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:09,270
Come on.
204
00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:14,775
Whoa, whoa!
Where do you think you're going?
205
00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:16,318
Kid thing. I'll be right back.
206
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:17,695
No. I need you to stay put
207
00:12:17,778 --> 00:12:19,822
and not do anything stupid
until I get the briefcase.
208
00:12:19,905 --> 00:12:22,032
Yeah, and you're not
the boss of him, okay?
209
00:12:24,201 --> 00:12:25,536
-Who--
-[Klaus] Come on.
210
00:12:25,619 --> 00:12:27,580
We'll get a few road sodas
for the journey.
211
00:12:27,663 --> 00:12:30,750
-Sometimes, you gotta clear the head out.
-[Viktor] Guys, wait. Where are you going?
212
00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:33,669
-Get the rats out of the maze, you know?
-[Five] Come on.
213
00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:43,179
[woman humming gently]
214
00:12:45,473 --> 00:12:46,432
Mom?
215
00:12:46,515 --> 00:12:48,684
Why do people keep calling me that?
216
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,936
[groans] Where am I?
217
00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:53,939
The Academy, silly.
Everybody's waiting for you.
218
00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:55,232
[mysterious string music plays]
219
00:12:55,316 --> 00:12:56,525
The Academy?
220
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:59,820
[humming]
221
00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:02,198
[indistinct chatter in background]
222
00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:04,658
[blender whirring]
223
00:13:04,742 --> 00:13:06,577
[woman laughing in background]
224
00:13:15,336 --> 00:13:17,630
-Ah, there he is.
-[blender stops whirring]
225
00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:19,840
Please, join us.
226
00:13:21,383 --> 00:13:23,886
It's okay. Nobody's gonna hurt you.
227
00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:25,513
-Smoothie?
-Oh.
228
00:13:26,847 --> 00:13:28,557
Yeah, thanks. [chuckles]
229
00:13:30,017 --> 00:13:31,560
[Fei] You must be starving.
230
00:13:32,102 --> 00:13:33,354
[Luther] Oh, uh…
231
00:13:33,437 --> 00:13:36,941
No, I… I probably shouldn't.
Is that cashew butter?
232
00:13:37,024 --> 00:13:40,945
Cashew butter, almond butter,
sunflower butter, tahini, Brazil nut.
233
00:13:41,445 --> 00:13:42,822
Wow. You know what?
234
00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:45,407
Now that you mention it,
I am feeling a little bit, uh,
235
00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:47,117
peckish, actually.
236
00:13:47,201 --> 00:13:48,494
-Help yourself.
-[Luther] Thanks.
237
00:13:48,577 --> 00:13:51,080
[playful string music playing]
238
00:13:52,122 --> 00:13:52,957
[softly] Wow.
239
00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:56,585
[exhales]
240
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:05,010
So, we know you're Number One,
241
00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:07,638
but we haven't been
formally introduced yet.
242
00:14:07,721 --> 00:14:09,515
I'm Ben, Number Two.
243
00:14:09,598 --> 00:14:12,852
It is so good
to see you again, buddy. [chuckles]
244
00:14:12,935 --> 00:14:16,146
Why does everyone
keep looking at me like that?
245
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:19,024
Because you've been dead for 15 years.
246
00:14:19,608 --> 00:14:20,651
[Ben] Dead?
247
00:14:20,734 --> 00:14:22,403
What do you mean, dead?
248
00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:27,032
Kind of a long story.
249
00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:29,410
Anyway, I'm Fei, Number Three.
250
00:14:29,493 --> 00:14:31,745
Alphonso, cuatro.
251
00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:33,581
Sloane. Five. Hey.
252
00:14:34,081 --> 00:14:36,208
-Hey.
-I'm Jayme, Six.
253
00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:38,752
[Ben] That's Christopher, of course.
Number Seven.
254
00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:39,837
[Christopher speaks]
255
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:43,257
Oh, don't mind him.
He's in a bit of a saucy mood today.
256
00:14:43,340 --> 00:14:45,050
[Sparrows chuckling]
257
00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:46,260
He wouldn't get it.
258
00:14:46,343 --> 00:14:47,469
It's just so-- [laughs]
259
00:14:48,178 --> 00:14:50,014
[laughs]
260
00:14:50,097 --> 00:14:52,516
Wait, uh, what about, um, Number One?
261
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:54,768
-What about him?
-Where is he?
262
00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:57,062
-[gasps]
-That's what we'd like to know.
263
00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:04,069
Are we playing a game?
264
00:15:04,653 --> 00:15:07,489
Whatever game the Umbrellas are playing,
265
00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:08,532
you're gonna lose!
266
00:15:09,950 --> 00:15:11,368
You took our Number One,
267
00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:13,913
so we took you.
268
00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:15,331
Wait, we took Marcus?
269
00:15:15,956 --> 00:15:18,042
[chuckles] Why would we do that?
270
00:15:18,125 --> 00:15:19,710
Act of war? Death wish?
271
00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:21,921
The last time we saw him,
he was with your sister.
272
00:15:22,004 --> 00:15:24,131
-Which one?
-The little one with the big powers.
273
00:15:24,214 --> 00:15:26,842
-Vanya? Huh.
-[ominous music playing]
274
00:15:27,801 --> 00:15:30,137
Well, I gotta say,
275
00:15:30,220 --> 00:15:32,806
it does not sound like Vanya
to go and kidnap anybody.
276
00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:34,433
[chuckles] You know, having said that,
277
00:15:34,516 --> 00:15:36,936
I am usually the last to know
about these kinda things.
278
00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:39,980
You're their Number One.
Shouldn't you know everything?
279
00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:41,440
I know. You'd think so, Ben.
280
00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:43,984
Discipline has never really been
our strong suit.
281
00:15:44,068 --> 00:15:46,946
It's pretty much
a free-for-all over there. [chuckles]
282
00:15:47,571 --> 00:15:48,447
So, listen.
283
00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:50,991
This sounds like an easy fix.
284
00:15:51,575 --> 00:15:52,409
I'll head back.
285
00:15:52,493 --> 00:15:55,496
I mean, my family's probably
worried sick about me, to be honest.
286
00:15:55,579 --> 00:15:58,791
And if they have your guy,
I'll send him back without a scratch.
287
00:15:58,874 --> 00:16:00,751
All right? No harm, no foul.
288
00:16:01,919 --> 00:16:03,212
How's that sound?
289
00:16:03,295 --> 00:16:04,129
Good?
290
00:16:04,922 --> 00:16:06,006
Great.
291
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:10,052
What's the rush?
Stick around till Marcus is back.
292
00:16:10,552 --> 00:16:15,683
[Christopher speaks menacingly]
293
00:16:15,766 --> 00:16:17,601
[Luther] My family will come for me.
294
00:16:18,852 --> 00:16:19,687
Wonderful.
295
00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:22,314
In the meantime, make yourself at home.
296
00:16:24,191 --> 00:16:25,484
Oh, and, uh…
297
00:16:27,152 --> 00:16:29,863
before I forget, if you try to escape,
298
00:16:29,947 --> 00:16:33,993
Fei's birds will peck your eyes out
and make a nest inside your skull.
299
00:16:34,868 --> 00:16:36,495
[chuckles]
300
00:16:37,204 --> 00:16:38,122
Cool.
301
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:46,005
So, what do you like to do for fun?
302
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,980
[Viktor] Hey, d'you get any sleep?
303
00:17:03,063 --> 00:17:04,356
[food tray rattles]
304
00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:06,483
Brought you some breakfast.
305
00:17:08,944 --> 00:17:10,112
I'm not hungry.
306
00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:13,991
Come on. You should really eat something.
307
00:17:14,074 --> 00:17:16,535
-This is all my fault.
-Stop. No.
308
00:17:16,618 --> 00:17:19,163
I knew something could go wrong
if we came back.
309
00:17:19,246 --> 00:17:21,081
I knew it, and I risked it anyway.
310
00:17:22,249 --> 00:17:25,544
I left Ray to be with Claire, and now…
311
00:17:26,336 --> 00:17:28,005
Now it's like she never existed.
312
00:17:31,425 --> 00:17:33,677
And I don't even have a picture of her.
313
00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:39,058
[sighs]
314
00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:41,894
There might be a way out of this.
315
00:17:45,355 --> 00:17:46,356
What do you mean?
316
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:49,568
Five's briefcase.
I'm gonna try and get it back.
317
00:17:51,653 --> 00:17:52,488
How?
318
00:17:52,571 --> 00:17:55,199
I'm meeting Marcus again today.
We're gonna do a trade.
319
00:17:55,282 --> 00:17:56,617
"Again"?
320
00:17:56,700 --> 00:18:00,079
-Yeah, I went to see him last night, and--
-Alone? What were you thinking?
321
00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:02,456
I needed to do something.
322
00:18:03,290 --> 00:18:05,250
For you. For… For all of us.
323
00:18:07,961 --> 00:18:10,297
-[scoffs]
-What? What do you--
324
00:18:10,380 --> 00:18:12,091
If you think I'm not coming,
you're insane!
325
00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:15,260
If you think I don't want you there
with me, then you're even crazier.
326
00:18:18,388 --> 00:18:19,473
[soft chuckle]
327
00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:24,394
Just don't give up yet, okay?
328
00:18:28,315 --> 00:18:30,067
Since when are you the optimist?
329
00:18:31,151 --> 00:18:33,153
Making a few changes, I guess.
330
00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:34,363
The hair?
331
00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:38,575
It's a bit more than that, actually, but…
332
00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:41,662
I'll explain on the way.
333
00:18:43,163 --> 00:18:44,206
Okay.
334
00:18:46,416 --> 00:18:49,336
[slurping loudly]
335
00:18:49,419 --> 00:18:51,839
[playful instrumental music playing]
336
00:18:51,922 --> 00:18:53,298
[belching]
337
00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:57,719
Berlin, here we come.
338
00:18:59,096 --> 00:19:01,390
[briefcase whirs]
339
00:19:01,473 --> 00:19:02,808
[briefcase powers down]
340
00:19:02,891 --> 00:19:04,268
Uh…
341
00:19:04,351 --> 00:19:06,562
Come on, work, you stupid briefcase.
342
00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:11,066
[briefcase whirs, sputters]
343
00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:14,653
[sputtering]
344
00:19:15,946 --> 00:19:18,115
I'm ready to go!
345
00:19:20,409 --> 00:19:23,036
Mother! Cunt! Bitch!
346
00:19:23,579 --> 00:19:24,830
Fuck off!
347
00:19:24,913 --> 00:19:27,958
Why won't you fucking work,
348
00:19:28,041 --> 00:19:29,793
you little bitch!
349
00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:33,630
I need to get to Berlin!
350
00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:34,548
Fuck!
351
00:19:35,257 --> 00:19:37,718
["The Oogum Boogum Song"
by Brenton Wood playing]
352
00:19:40,220 --> 00:19:42,598
♪ Oogum, oogum, boogum, boogum ♪
353
00:19:42,681 --> 00:19:45,309
♪ Boogum now, baby
You're castin' your spell on… ♪
354
00:19:48,979 --> 00:19:50,981
This actually isn't so terrible.
355
00:19:52,065 --> 00:19:53,483
See? Told you.
356
00:19:53,567 --> 00:19:56,361
Come to think of it,
my whole life I've been under the gun.
357
00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:57,404
Missions for Dad,
358
00:19:57,487 --> 00:20:00,616
working for the Commission,
trying to survive the apocalypse.
359
00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:02,910
I was always looking around every corner,
360
00:20:02,993 --> 00:20:05,746
just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
361
00:20:05,829 --> 00:20:08,373
-It's nice to just breathe.
-Good for you, man.
362
00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:10,542
Retirement is suiting you.
363
00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:13,003
Oh! Uh… All right!
364
00:20:13,086 --> 00:20:16,840
So, I've circled all
the roadside attractions along the way.
365
00:20:16,924 --> 00:20:19,843
-I'm not sure we're gonna have time…
-We have the Brownsville Big Nickel.
366
00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:22,137
Oh, Ricky's Bakery has award-winning pies.
367
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:24,932
-If you just let me explain…
-Or there's this Cow Henge.
368
00:20:25,015 --> 00:20:26,183
That's it-- Don't--
369
00:20:26,266 --> 00:20:28,310
Listen to me.
Just shut up for two seconds, okay?
370
00:20:28,393 --> 00:20:30,270
Just two seconds? All right?
371
00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:34,358
Okay, I'm all ears.
372
00:20:36,026 --> 00:20:40,030
We are going to Pennsylvania to find
373
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:43,075
my birth mother. Yay!
374
00:20:43,158 --> 00:20:45,077
-Excuse me?
-I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry.
375
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:47,996
I just needed somebody
to come with me for emotional support.
376
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,123
Oh, emotional support, like a Schnauzer?
377
00:20:50,207 --> 00:20:53,377
I knew you wouldn't come if I told you,
so what was I supposed to do?
378
00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:56,213
You're goddamn right
I wouldn't have come, Klaus. You know why?
379
00:20:56,296 --> 00:20:59,424
-Because I am supposed to be retired!
-I know!
380
00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:01,551
This was supposed to be
a carefree road trip.
381
00:21:01,635 --> 00:21:03,303
Well, it still can be, babe.
382
00:21:04,137 --> 00:21:05,806
[Five] Ball of Twine? Klaus, turn!
383
00:21:05,889 --> 00:21:08,016
-Ball of Twine! Turn!
-What? Five! Five!
384
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:10,519
It is one of the best ones! Come on!
385
00:21:10,602 --> 00:21:13,689
-Five, we're gonna die! Whoo!
-I don't care! Let go!
386
00:21:13,772 --> 00:21:16,108
[Five] You know what?
No twine, no birth mother!
387
00:21:16,191 --> 00:21:17,651
Why didn't you tell me sooner?
388
00:21:17,734 --> 00:21:19,403
I didn't-- Well, I…
389
00:21:19,486 --> 00:21:22,489
Uh, I just…
I can't believe I never realized.
390
00:21:22,572 --> 00:21:23,573
Well, how would you?
391
00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:25,784
No, I know, I just--
I feel like such an asshole.
392
00:21:25,867 --> 00:21:29,413
Hey, just… shut up for two seconds?
393
00:21:32,708 --> 00:21:34,626
You couldn't have known 'cause,
394
00:21:35,961 --> 00:21:37,296
I mean, I didn't fully.
395
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:41,174
Being with Sissy…
396
00:21:43,176 --> 00:21:46,638
I don't know. She… opened something in me.
397
00:21:49,474 --> 00:21:52,728
Showed me I'd never be free
hiding from who I really am.
398
00:21:56,690 --> 00:21:59,067
And after losing her, I realized…
399
00:22:02,195 --> 00:22:03,280
[sighs]
400
00:22:03,363 --> 00:22:05,615
I just can't live in that box anymore.
401
00:22:08,201 --> 00:22:09,077
I won't.
402
00:22:13,957 --> 00:22:16,209
[dramatic string music playing]
403
00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:19,171
You know, I always hated mirrors.
404
00:22:20,297 --> 00:22:23,216
I thought everybody felt
so strange in their skin.
405
00:22:26,887 --> 00:22:28,638
I guess that's not true, right?
406
00:22:31,850 --> 00:22:33,310
What do you see now?
407
00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:42,361
Me.
408
00:22:46,531 --> 00:22:47,532
Just me.
409
00:22:53,872 --> 00:22:55,832
Thank you for trusting me with this.
410
00:22:56,666 --> 00:22:58,710
You're family, Viktor.
411
00:22:59,795 --> 00:23:00,629
Okay?
412
00:23:01,338 --> 00:23:02,756
And there's nothing…
413
00:23:03,632 --> 00:23:05,717
nothing that would make me love you less.
414
00:23:17,562 --> 00:23:19,106
Come on.
415
00:23:24,861 --> 00:23:26,029
[Klaus] Yeah, you know.
416
00:23:26,947 --> 00:23:29,616
I don't know why,
but I thought it'd be a lot bigger.
417
00:23:29,699 --> 00:23:31,118
-[Five] Seems pretty big to me.
-Ehh.
418
00:23:31,201 --> 00:23:32,702
Here's the real question.
419
00:23:32,786 --> 00:23:35,872
How do you know
your birth mother is in Pennsylvania?
420
00:23:36,915 --> 00:23:41,211
Well, because I was on the ass end
of a two-week bender,
421
00:23:41,294 --> 00:23:42,963
and I can't tell you the exact date
422
00:23:43,046 --> 00:23:45,966
because we were boofing Xanax
and the whole business,
423
00:23:46,049 --> 00:23:48,176
but Amy Winehouse
was at the top of the charts.
424
00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:51,221
So that puts us somewhere, where?
In the mid to late aughts?
425
00:23:52,389 --> 00:23:56,059
[Klaus] I helped myself into Dad's office,
looking for the key to his safe
426
00:23:56,143 --> 00:23:58,937
'cause he had
Pogo lock up all the stealables.
427
00:23:59,938 --> 00:24:03,608
But instead, I found a treasure trove
of our family history
428
00:24:03,692 --> 00:24:06,027
told in expired check stubs.
429
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:09,114
[shudders]
430
00:24:09,739 --> 00:24:11,408
[Klaus] Rachel Herschberger?
431
00:24:11,491 --> 00:24:14,536
[soft string music playing]
432
00:24:14,619 --> 00:24:17,664
[Klaus] I was too messed up
to, uh, do anything about it,
433
00:24:17,747 --> 00:24:18,957
too scared to look her up.
434
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:20,750
But always in the back of my mind,
435
00:24:20,834 --> 00:24:23,795
I wondered why she sold me off
for three grand.
436
00:24:23,879 --> 00:24:27,257
I mean, come on,
she couldn't have held out for five? Six?
437
00:24:27,841 --> 00:24:29,301
You see anything about my mother?
438
00:24:29,384 --> 00:24:31,595
No. Sorry.
439
00:24:32,929 --> 00:24:34,973
-Why now?
-Well, duh.
440
00:24:35,056 --> 00:24:37,100
Dad disowns us. Grace isn't Grace.
441
00:24:37,184 --> 00:24:39,186
Ben's… gone.
442
00:24:39,269 --> 00:24:43,064
Now just felt like a good a time as any
to find out who I could've been
443
00:24:43,148 --> 00:24:45,775
if I didn't grow up in this stupid family.
444
00:24:45,859 --> 00:24:48,195
Well, can you really call
what we had a family?
445
00:24:48,278 --> 00:24:49,613
No. It's more like a--
446
00:24:49,696 --> 00:24:52,199
-Institute for Snarky Delinquents.
-[laughs]
447
00:24:52,282 --> 00:24:53,533
And not a good one at that.
448
00:24:53,617 --> 00:24:55,660
But what is family? What is it?
449
00:24:55,744 --> 00:24:59,581
It's like some kind of giant…
ball of twine
450
00:24:59,664 --> 00:25:01,500
that can never be untangled.
451
00:25:01,583 --> 00:25:05,253
A giant ball of obligation
I've been pushing uphill my entire life.
452
00:25:05,337 --> 00:25:07,255
[Klaus] And the older you get,
the bigger it gets.
453
00:25:07,339 --> 00:25:10,383
-And the more you try and untangle it…
-You watch it roll down the hill…
454
00:25:10,467 --> 00:25:12,427
[in unison] And what's the point?
455
00:25:12,928 --> 00:25:15,013
Hey, I'm glad you came along.
456
00:25:17,015 --> 00:25:19,142
You're a good brother.
457
00:25:22,604 --> 00:25:25,190
All right, all right.
You say nice things about me now.
458
00:25:27,901 --> 00:25:29,611
Let's go find your stupid mother.
459
00:25:29,694 --> 00:25:31,821
[whimsical string music swells]
460
00:25:31,905 --> 00:25:33,740
Love you too, tiny dancer!
461
00:25:34,449 --> 00:25:36,952
[Diego] Hurry up. All right?
We gotta get back to the hotel.
462
00:25:37,035 --> 00:25:38,578
[Stan] Yeah, I gotta find the right one.
463
00:25:38,662 --> 00:25:41,164
-Just get the no-name shit.
-Have you tried the no-name shit?
464
00:25:41,248 --> 00:25:44,376
No, because ears don't squirt juice
every time I get excited.
465
00:25:44,459 --> 00:25:46,545
Yeah, then trust me. I need my brand.
466
00:25:48,922 --> 00:25:50,215
[entrance bell chimes]
467
00:25:50,298 --> 00:25:51,883
[Alphonso] Jayme, get me munchies.
468
00:25:53,885 --> 00:25:56,388
-Oh, I found it--
-[shushes]
469
00:25:56,471 --> 00:25:57,806
-Go wait outside.
-[Stan] Why?
470
00:25:57,889 --> 00:25:59,766
[Diego] I'm about to kick this fool's ass.
471
00:26:01,226 --> 00:26:03,603
-Don't worry. I got your back.
-Go.
472
00:26:03,687 --> 00:26:07,232
[suspenseful music playing]
473
00:26:11,278 --> 00:26:12,153
[sniffs]
474
00:26:13,572 --> 00:26:14,656
[sniffs]
475
00:26:14,739 --> 00:26:15,574
[Jayme humming]
476
00:26:20,537 --> 00:26:21,830
[clerk clears throat]
477
00:26:22,914 --> 00:26:24,416
[hisses]
478
00:26:37,721 --> 00:26:38,680
[sniffs]
479
00:26:40,682 --> 00:26:41,891
[Diego whistles]
480
00:26:49,190 --> 00:26:50,775
Well, isn't this a coinkidink?
481
00:26:50,859 --> 00:26:53,028
Only dink I see is yours, tough guy.
482
00:26:56,990 --> 00:26:58,867
-You followed me here?
-Don't flatter yourself.
483
00:26:58,950 --> 00:27:03,246
Leave now, or I'm gonna spank you
like the little bitch you are.
484
00:27:03,330 --> 00:27:05,040
["Quando Quando Quando" playing]
485
00:27:05,123 --> 00:27:06,750
Take your best shot, tubby.
486
00:27:10,795 --> 00:27:12,339
-[bone cracks]
-Oh shit!
487
00:27:12,422 --> 00:27:15,050
I know. Doesn't feel good, does it?
488
00:27:16,968 --> 00:27:20,972
♪ Tell me quando, quando, quando ♪
489
00:27:22,474 --> 00:27:25,352
♪ We can share a love divine ♪
490
00:27:25,435 --> 00:27:26,728
[grunts]
491
00:27:27,812 --> 00:27:31,816
♪ Please don't make me wait again ♪
492
00:27:36,780 --> 00:27:38,782
[Diego groans]
493
00:27:40,283 --> 00:27:41,368
[sharp exhale]
494
00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:45,163
♪ When will you say yes to me? ♪
495
00:27:45,246 --> 00:27:46,414
Ah shit!
496
00:27:48,667 --> 00:27:52,837
♪ Tell me quando, quando, quando ♪
497
00:27:52,921 --> 00:27:53,963
[bone snaps]
498
00:27:54,047 --> 00:27:56,841
-♪ You mean happiness to me ♪
-[grunts]
499
00:27:59,302 --> 00:28:02,639
♪ Oh, my love please tell me when ♪
500
00:28:05,225 --> 00:28:06,768
[panting]
501
00:28:07,644 --> 00:28:08,603
Dude, your chin.
502
00:28:11,064 --> 00:28:12,524
It does that sometimes.
503
00:28:23,159 --> 00:28:24,244
[groans]
504
00:28:25,412 --> 00:28:26,830
Stanley, no!
505
00:28:27,455 --> 00:28:28,790
[Stan groans]
506
00:28:29,374 --> 00:28:30,875
Goddamnit!
507
00:28:30,959 --> 00:28:32,502
Ow, my leg!
508
00:28:32,585 --> 00:28:35,880
-You getting how this works yet?
-That's my kid, asshole!
509
00:28:35,964 --> 00:28:36,798
[Alphonso groans]
510
00:28:39,342 --> 00:28:41,553
Are you getting tired yet?
Heart's getting weaker?
511
00:28:41,636 --> 00:28:43,847
Not… even close.
512
00:28:45,306 --> 00:28:46,558
[Alphonso snarls]
513
00:28:49,144 --> 00:28:51,104
[panting]
514
00:28:51,187 --> 00:28:53,857
-You all right? Where'd he get you?
-I'm fine. I'm fine!
515
00:28:53,940 --> 00:28:55,608
-[Diego] Oh, you'll be all right.
-Oh dear!
516
00:28:59,988 --> 00:29:03,950
You're good. You're okay.
It's not that bad. Stop crying, all right?
517
00:29:05,243 --> 00:29:07,245
[hissing]
518
00:29:10,540 --> 00:29:15,795
♪ To a joy beyond compare ♪
519
00:29:15,879 --> 00:29:17,756
♪ I can't wait a moment more… ♪
520
00:29:17,839 --> 00:29:19,007
[Stan] Watch out!
521
00:29:20,675 --> 00:29:22,427
That girl was gonna hork on you, dude.
522
00:29:22,510 --> 00:29:23,845
-[hisses]
-[Diego] Move! Get down!
523
00:29:25,096 --> 00:29:26,389
[groans]
524
00:29:26,473 --> 00:29:29,559
-I can handle my own shit!
-Yeah, sure you can. [grunts]
525
00:29:29,642 --> 00:29:31,144
[chuckles]
526
00:29:31,227 --> 00:29:32,604
[Diego grunts angrily]
527
00:29:33,897 --> 00:29:35,940
-Fuck yeah!
-Hey, watch your mouth!
528
00:29:36,608 --> 00:29:37,776
[Jayme groans]
529
00:29:39,319 --> 00:29:41,112
[groans]
530
00:29:42,655 --> 00:29:43,740
[Alphonso whimpers]
531
00:29:44,574 --> 00:29:45,700
Come on.
532
00:29:45,784 --> 00:29:48,119
[grunts] What? No way!
We were kicking their asses!
533
00:29:48,203 --> 00:29:51,039
"He who fights and walks away
lives to fight another day." Okay?
534
00:29:51,122 --> 00:29:52,707
-That's some lame-ass shit.
-Yeah, I know.
535
00:29:52,791 --> 00:29:53,875
♪ When? ♪
536
00:30:11,392 --> 00:30:13,686
Son of a bitch! Klaus is Amish.
537
00:30:13,770 --> 00:30:15,814
-This explains everything.
-[cows mooing]
538
00:30:15,897 --> 00:30:18,233
-How does this explain anything?
-Because look!
539
00:30:18,316 --> 00:30:19,567
Look at this place!
540
00:30:20,568 --> 00:30:22,403
This is everything
my childhood was missing.
541
00:30:22,487 --> 00:30:24,072
-Hey, uh, Klaus?
-[Klaus] Yeah?
542
00:30:24,155 --> 00:30:25,448
Wait up a minute.
543
00:30:25,532 --> 00:30:27,659
Doppelgänger check.
You feel anything strange?
544
00:30:27,742 --> 00:30:31,162
Uh, itching, sweats,
gas, anything like that?
545
00:30:31,246 --> 00:30:33,206
No. No, I feel great.
546
00:30:33,289 --> 00:30:37,460
Apart from the old rash on the tackle,
but what can you do?
547
00:30:38,211 --> 00:30:39,879
All right, good luck.
548
00:30:40,588 --> 00:30:42,715
What? Wait, you're not coming?
549
00:30:43,383 --> 00:30:45,301
-This one you gotta do alone.
-[Klaus sighs]
550
00:30:45,385 --> 00:30:46,469
Alone?
551
00:30:46,970 --> 00:30:48,054
Yeah, okay.
552
00:30:48,930 --> 00:30:50,473
Yeah, I can do that, sure.
553
00:30:50,557 --> 00:30:54,269
[pensive instrumental music playing]
554
00:30:54,978 --> 00:30:56,312
Hello there.
555
00:30:57,564 --> 00:30:59,858
[Klaus] Yoo-hoo! Guten haben.
556
00:31:16,291 --> 00:31:17,375
-Mom.
-[gasps]
557
00:31:20,128 --> 00:31:21,296
Nay, English.
558
00:31:22,171 --> 00:31:23,423
No mothers here.
559
00:31:24,716 --> 00:31:25,758
Only rabbits.
560
00:31:25,842 --> 00:31:27,385
Oh, I'm so sorry.
561
00:31:27,927 --> 00:31:30,471
I… I'm looking for Rachel Herschberger.
562
00:31:31,848 --> 00:31:33,057
[man] No Rachel.
563
00:31:33,141 --> 00:31:35,018
[Klaus] Oh, okay.
564
00:31:35,101 --> 00:31:37,145
Well, that's a shame.
565
00:31:37,228 --> 00:31:38,980
Do you happen to know
where I might find her?
566
00:31:39,063 --> 00:31:41,608
-I'm trying to track her down.
-[man] There's no Rachel here.
567
00:31:41,691 --> 00:31:45,445
Now, walk your fancy boots back to town
where you belong, and leave us be.
568
00:31:45,528 --> 00:31:46,738
Okay. [chuckles]
569
00:31:46,821 --> 00:31:49,407
All right. No need
to get your knickers in a twist there.
570
00:31:49,490 --> 00:31:50,867
[woman] Caleb, let the boy speak.
571
00:31:50,950 --> 00:31:53,703
You're upsetting the womenfolk,
and now you're upsetting me.
572
00:31:53,786 --> 00:31:54,996
No, that's not--
573
00:31:55,079 --> 00:31:57,332
I'm not upsetting the womenfolk.
Are you kidding?
574
00:31:57,415 --> 00:31:58,750
Womenfolk love me.
575
00:31:58,833 --> 00:32:00,084
[Caleb grunts]
576
00:32:00,168 --> 00:32:02,962
Ow! Jesus Christ!
What's the matter with you?
577
00:32:03,046 --> 00:32:06,174
I… I thought you people
were supposed to be nice!
578
00:32:06,257 --> 00:32:09,177
[Caleb] That's what you call
a misconception, English.
579
00:32:09,260 --> 00:32:10,219
All right, fine.
580
00:32:10,970 --> 00:32:12,221
Fine!
581
00:32:12,931 --> 00:32:14,140
But I want you to know
582
00:32:14,724 --> 00:32:17,727
that you have ruined
the Amish for me, forever!
583
00:32:17,810 --> 00:32:18,978
In here.
584
00:32:19,604 --> 00:32:20,563
Ruined!
585
00:32:23,274 --> 00:32:25,777
[Caleb] It's okay, Sarah-Beth.
He's leaving.
586
00:32:26,486 --> 00:32:28,905
[upbeat instrumental music playing]
587
00:32:33,785 --> 00:32:35,328
This place is incredible!
588
00:32:35,411 --> 00:32:37,956
We had the old lounge taken out
and had this put in.
589
00:32:38,039 --> 00:32:41,501
You know, I thought the home theater
and the Zen garden were impressive,
590
00:32:41,584 --> 00:32:43,211
but this is just next-level!
591
00:32:44,712 --> 00:32:45,672
You know,
592
00:32:46,589 --> 00:32:49,425
I always wanted the Umbrella Academy
to be like this.
593
00:32:49,509 --> 00:32:51,636
You guys actually do stuff together!
594
00:32:51,719 --> 00:32:52,679
You don't?
595
00:32:53,346 --> 00:32:54,305
Uh…
596
00:32:55,306 --> 00:32:56,474
Nah, not really.
597
00:32:56,557 --> 00:32:58,559
So, our brother died
598
00:32:59,852 --> 00:33:00,895
when we were kids.
599
00:33:00,979 --> 00:33:02,105
Number Six. Our Ben.
600
00:33:02,188 --> 00:33:03,189
Oh, I'm so sorry.
601
00:33:03,272 --> 00:33:05,900
Yeah, and after that,
nobody really gave a shit.
602
00:33:05,984 --> 00:33:07,735
Everyone had their own agenda,
603
00:33:07,819 --> 00:33:10,363
and it's like pulling teeth
to get anybody to actually care.
604
00:33:11,030 --> 00:33:15,702
And then, I guess after a while,
I stopped caring myself.
605
00:33:15,785 --> 00:33:17,704
You know, about training, the missions…
606
00:33:18,871 --> 00:33:22,291
About… being Number One. [scoffs]
607
00:33:23,501 --> 00:33:25,545
You're not what I was expecting.
608
00:33:26,212 --> 00:33:28,006
-I'm not?
-No.
609
00:33:28,089 --> 00:33:29,841
You're actually really sweet.
610
00:33:29,924 --> 00:33:32,051
[gentle piano music playing]
611
00:33:32,135 --> 00:33:33,177
[soft exhale]
612
00:33:38,266 --> 00:33:41,019
If I could,
I'd get out of here in a heartbeat.
613
00:33:41,769 --> 00:33:42,645
Why can't you?
614
00:33:43,688 --> 00:33:45,064
Why couldn't you?
615
00:33:45,148 --> 00:33:46,149
Fair point.
616
00:33:46,858 --> 00:33:50,111
This house,
it's all I've ever known my entire life.
617
00:33:51,154 --> 00:33:53,573
And I know there are better places
out there in the world,
618
00:33:53,656 --> 00:33:56,534
and one day, I want to see them all.
619
00:33:57,827 --> 00:33:58,995
You know, I, uh…
620
00:34:00,997 --> 00:34:02,874
I spent a little time on the moon.
621
00:34:02,957 --> 00:34:05,334
What? That is so cool!
622
00:34:06,878 --> 00:34:09,964
-You think so?
-Yeah! The moon?
623
00:34:10,048 --> 00:34:12,133
-My God. No one ever thinks that's cool.
-Yes!
624
00:34:12,216 --> 00:34:13,760
[both laughing]
625
00:34:13,843 --> 00:34:15,428
The moon, yeah!
626
00:34:24,312 --> 00:34:25,229
[soft gasp]
627
00:34:26,439 --> 00:34:29,317
So, tell me a little bit more
about that family of yours
628
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:31,402
before they decide to come and rescue you.
629
00:34:31,486 --> 00:34:33,362
Where are you guys staying anyway?
630
00:34:33,446 --> 00:34:35,823
Oh, just some dumpy hotel downtown.
631
00:34:35,907 --> 00:34:36,783
Uh, the Hotel--
632
00:34:39,452 --> 00:34:41,662
-You're trying to honey trap me.
-No, no, no.
633
00:34:41,746 --> 00:34:44,665
No, of course. Luther, you're so stupid!
634
00:34:44,749 --> 00:34:46,417
Oh, wow!
You really think the moon is cool?
635
00:34:46,501 --> 00:34:47,919
-Luther, I wasn't--
-Duh!
636
00:34:48,002 --> 00:34:49,003
-I'm such--
-[raven caws]
637
00:34:50,797 --> 00:34:52,131
Ben would like a word.
638
00:34:53,132 --> 00:34:54,217
Go get cleaned up.
639
00:34:56,177 --> 00:34:58,137
-Luther, I wasn't trying---
-Sloane.
640
00:35:01,641 --> 00:35:04,352
[ominous music playing]
641
00:35:13,069 --> 00:35:15,822
[ominous music swells]
642
00:35:19,867 --> 00:35:22,245
[shockwave pulsing]
643
00:35:22,328 --> 00:35:25,623
[country song plays on radio]
♪ Well, it's a cryin' shame ♪
644
00:35:26,541 --> 00:35:28,709
[singing along]
♪ You don't even know my name ♪
645
00:35:28,793 --> 00:35:30,128
[energy pulsing]
646
00:35:30,211 --> 00:35:32,463
-♪ But every time you pass me by ♪
-[mooing]
647
00:35:32,547 --> 00:35:34,549
♪ Girl, it makes me wanna cry ♪
648
00:35:34,632 --> 00:35:37,552
-♪ It's a cryin' shame ♪
-[distressed mooing]
649
00:35:38,136 --> 00:35:39,720
♪ I go inside the-- ♪
650
00:35:41,347 --> 00:35:42,306
What is…?
651
00:35:47,061 --> 00:35:49,647
Oh, can't I get one fucking day off?
652
00:36:00,032 --> 00:36:02,535
I wasn't sure what kind you like best.
653
00:36:03,995 --> 00:36:05,621
You did create all of them.
654
00:36:06,539 --> 00:36:08,166
[energy thrumming]
655
00:36:22,805 --> 00:36:24,849
[thrumming loudly]
656
00:36:24,932 --> 00:36:29,270
[Grace breathes heavily]
657
00:36:30,855 --> 00:36:32,064
[Grace exhales sharply]
658
00:36:40,031 --> 00:36:41,949
-Hey!
-[Sarah-Beth screams]
659
00:36:42,033 --> 00:36:43,117
Sorry! Sorry, sorry, sorry.
660
00:36:43,201 --> 00:36:45,036
-I don't want any trouble.
-No, no!
661
00:36:45,119 --> 00:36:46,454
Hey.
662
00:36:46,537 --> 00:36:49,207
You know Rachel, don't you?
663
00:36:49,290 --> 00:36:50,333
She's my sister.
664
00:36:50,416 --> 00:36:51,876
Oh!
665
00:36:51,959 --> 00:36:52,877
[laughs]
666
00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:54,086
Hey! [chuckles]
667
00:36:55,296 --> 00:36:58,090
So, where can I find her?
668
00:36:58,174 --> 00:37:01,177
Young man, she's been dead
for over 30 years.
669
00:37:01,260 --> 00:37:03,304
-Oh.
-[soft piano music playing]
670
00:37:03,387 --> 00:37:06,307
So, but… how did she die?
671
00:37:06,390 --> 00:37:07,725
Brain hemorrhage.
672
00:37:08,476 --> 00:37:09,936
Took her quick, thank the Lord.
673
00:37:10,019 --> 00:37:10,978
What about her son?
674
00:37:11,062 --> 00:37:12,021
What son?
675
00:37:12,813 --> 00:37:15,274
Wait. When did she die again?
676
00:37:15,358 --> 00:37:17,151
She passed October 1st,
677
00:37:18,152 --> 00:37:19,153
1989.
678
00:37:20,571 --> 00:37:21,489
Oh.
679
00:37:23,491 --> 00:37:26,202
-What's the matter?
-No, it's just that that's my…
680
00:37:27,662 --> 00:37:28,913
That's my birthday.
681
00:37:29,956 --> 00:37:32,500
-[Caleb] English, the cows are missing!
-You need to leave. Now.
682
00:37:32,583 --> 00:37:34,043
-Oh! Oh shit!
-Go now!
683
00:37:35,336 --> 00:37:37,463
[ticking loudly]
684
00:37:37,546 --> 00:37:40,675
[distorted chatter in background]
685
00:37:40,758 --> 00:37:43,302
[distorted laughter]
686
00:37:43,928 --> 00:37:45,221
[laughing]
687
00:37:46,514 --> 00:37:47,640
[screaming]
688
00:37:48,266 --> 00:37:49,183
Listen.
689
00:37:50,309 --> 00:37:52,937
You know how to use this briefcase, right?
690
00:37:53,020 --> 00:37:55,273
Because last time Klaus tried it,
he ended up in Vietnam,
691
00:37:55,356 --> 00:37:57,942
and I can't handle another screwup,
Viktor, I swear to God, I can't.
692
00:37:58,025 --> 00:37:59,610
I know, I know.
693
00:38:00,361 --> 00:38:01,404
Me neither.
694
00:38:03,656 --> 00:38:05,283
Hey, Five is an asshole…
695
00:38:05,366 --> 00:38:06,200
Yes.
696
00:38:06,284 --> 00:38:07,952
…but he's not a monster.
697
00:38:09,578 --> 00:38:11,956
When we explain
what this means to us, he'll help.
698
00:38:12,039 --> 00:38:13,165
He has to.
699
00:38:15,668 --> 00:38:17,545
But first, we need to get that briefcase.
700
00:38:19,380 --> 00:38:20,631
[bell jingles]
701
00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:23,801
[man] Here you go.
702
00:38:25,094 --> 00:38:28,097
-[Klaus] Five! Five!
-[playful instrumental music playing]
703
00:38:28,180 --> 00:38:30,057
Start the car, would ya?
704
00:38:31,058 --> 00:38:32,727
-[Amish clamoring]
-Oh my…
705
00:38:32,810 --> 00:38:35,271
Shit, shit, shit! Five!
706
00:38:36,605 --> 00:38:38,316
Start the car!
707
00:38:38,399 --> 00:38:40,318
Five! Start the car!
708
00:38:40,401 --> 00:38:42,611
Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry!
709
00:38:42,695 --> 00:38:46,741
-Why can't you just get along with people?
-I tried. Really, I did. I tried!
710
00:38:46,824 --> 00:38:49,285
-Wait, wait, wait!
-Hold on a second!
711
00:38:49,368 --> 00:38:50,745
-Take this.
-What is it?
712
00:38:50,828 --> 00:38:53,539
Rachel's death was unusual,
and she wasn't the only one.
713
00:38:53,622 --> 00:38:55,541
Come on! Get in the car, Klaus!
714
00:38:55,624 --> 00:38:56,876
You have her eyes.
715
00:38:56,959 --> 00:38:59,503
-English, go!
-[Five] Klaus, it's now or never!
716
00:38:59,587 --> 00:39:00,504
Klaus!
717
00:39:00,588 --> 00:39:02,381
Go, go!
718
00:39:02,465 --> 00:39:04,467
[car engine starts]
719
00:39:04,550 --> 00:39:07,303
[Amish yelling and clamoring]
720
00:39:07,386 --> 00:39:09,722
This whole timeline's
chock-full of riddles. Get this.
721
00:39:09,805 --> 00:39:12,850
My mom died here before I was even born!
722
00:39:12,933 --> 00:39:14,602
[brakes screeching]
723
00:39:15,227 --> 00:39:16,979
-What did you just say?
-Yeah.
724
00:39:20,483 --> 00:39:21,942
[bell jingles]
725
00:39:24,403 --> 00:39:25,780
He's not gonna show.
726
00:39:25,863 --> 00:39:27,615
Something must be wrong.
727
00:39:27,698 --> 00:39:29,658
Or he's blowing you off.
728
00:39:29,742 --> 00:39:31,077
He's not the type.
729
00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:33,746
And you know that
after spending 15 minutes together?
730
00:39:38,125 --> 00:39:41,587
[ominous music playing]
731
00:39:41,670 --> 00:39:43,714
[in Southern accent]
We don't let your kind in here.
732
00:39:43,798 --> 00:39:44,924
What did you say?
733
00:39:49,345 --> 00:39:51,430
[server] I said you're still here.
734
00:39:51,514 --> 00:39:54,016
Do you wanna order
while you're waiting for your friend?
735
00:39:54,100 --> 00:39:55,142
-Yeah.
-No, that--
736
00:39:55,226 --> 00:39:57,353
-[baby crying]
-I'll be back. No rush.
737
00:39:57,895 --> 00:39:59,688
-Allison, are you okay?
-[Allison] I… I…
738
00:40:01,482 --> 00:40:02,983
I don't-- [sniffles]
739
00:40:03,567 --> 00:40:04,985
[Claire] One more story, Mommy.
740
00:40:05,069 --> 00:40:06,404
Claire, honey.
741
00:40:06,487 --> 00:40:08,280
-[rapid breaths]
-[Claire] Mom, I want a story!
742
00:40:08,364 --> 00:40:10,616
[voice echoes]
I heard a rumor that you're really tired.
743
00:40:10,699 --> 00:40:13,285
-[screaming]
-Allison, come on. What is happening?
744
00:40:13,369 --> 00:40:14,495
Where is Claire?!
745
00:40:14,578 --> 00:40:16,372
-I need to get some air.
-Hey!
746
00:40:16,455 --> 00:40:17,498
Where are you g--?
747
00:40:19,333 --> 00:40:21,335
[panting]
748
00:40:24,672 --> 00:40:26,048
[Allison] What are you looking at?
749
00:40:33,431 --> 00:40:34,306
[Allison] Hey!
750
00:40:41,856 --> 00:40:43,357
[Allison] Hey, I'm talking to you!
751
00:41:04,587 --> 00:41:06,255
[urine trickling]
752
00:41:06,338 --> 00:41:07,548
[bottles clinking]
753
00:41:08,507 --> 00:41:09,592
Oh!
754
00:41:09,675 --> 00:41:10,551
Sorry.
755
00:41:10,634 --> 00:41:13,012
[murmuring]
756
00:41:15,181 --> 00:41:16,223
[Viktor] Allison?
757
00:41:18,225 --> 00:41:19,310
Are you okay?
758
00:41:19,393 --> 00:41:20,978
[wheels of cart squeaking]
759
00:41:21,937 --> 00:41:22,813
[Allison] Yeah.
760
00:41:23,397 --> 00:41:24,440
Um…
761
00:41:27,485 --> 00:41:28,360
Let's go.
762
00:41:40,331 --> 00:41:43,209
[wind howling]
763
00:41:47,671 --> 00:41:49,798
[Jayme] You were basically
screaming for help.
764
00:41:49,882 --> 00:41:51,884
[Alphonso] I wasn't screaming.
I was kicking his ass.
765
00:41:51,967 --> 00:41:53,344
You couldn't breathe, but…
766
00:41:53,427 --> 00:41:55,804
Doesn't look like
your family is coming anytime soon.
767
00:41:55,888 --> 00:41:57,890
Oh, no, I'm sure they're just,
768
00:41:57,973 --> 00:42:00,184
you know, working out
the final details and…
769
00:42:00,267 --> 00:42:01,602
-[floorboards creak]
-…such.
770
00:42:04,188 --> 00:42:06,273
Relax. You're free to go.
771
00:42:06,357 --> 00:42:07,191
Why?
772
00:42:07,775 --> 00:42:09,026
Gesture of goodwill.
773
00:42:09,109 --> 00:42:12,488
But I want you to pass along
a very important message to your family.
774
00:42:12,571 --> 00:42:13,572
Yeah, of course.
775
00:42:15,449 --> 00:42:16,784
Let Marcus go.
776
00:42:16,867 --> 00:42:20,996
And if any of you hurt one hair on him,
we'll come for you.
777
00:42:21,080 --> 00:42:23,332
-[Ben] All of you.
-[ominous music playing]
778
00:42:23,415 --> 00:42:26,544
And I promise
we won't be so hospitable next time.
779
00:42:28,045 --> 00:42:30,047
Super don't like being threatened, Ben.
780
00:42:30,130 --> 00:42:32,132
You'll do as we say, or else…
781
00:42:32,633 --> 00:42:34,134
[ravens screeching]
782
00:42:34,218 --> 00:42:36,303
Birds. In my brain.
783
00:42:36,387 --> 00:42:38,013
-[raven caws]
-Got it.
784
00:42:38,097 --> 00:42:40,224
Don't forget your tote bag.
[snaps fingers]
785
00:42:47,189 --> 00:42:48,983
Hope you enjoyed your stay.
786
00:42:49,567 --> 00:42:50,901
[raven caws]
787
00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:23,601
[raven caws]
788
00:43:23,684 --> 00:43:24,893
[wings fluttering]
789
00:43:29,356 --> 00:43:30,733
[raven screeches]
790
00:43:31,942 --> 00:43:32,943
[gasps]
791
00:43:33,027 --> 00:43:34,778
[laughs softly]
792
00:43:35,487 --> 00:43:38,365
[laughing] Oh!
793
00:43:38,449 --> 00:43:39,450
Excuse me.
794
00:43:39,533 --> 00:43:41,952
I mean, who does that? Who does it?
795
00:43:42,036 --> 00:43:43,621
[jazz piano playing in background]
796
00:43:43,704 --> 00:43:46,206
What are you mumbling about?
797
00:43:46,290 --> 00:43:47,166
Lila.
798
00:43:47,833 --> 00:43:49,710
Dumping Stan on me after all these years?
799
00:43:49,793 --> 00:43:51,629
-I mean, that's not right.
-[scoffs]
800
00:43:51,712 --> 00:43:54,381
Hey, man. If you did the deed,
don't blame her for the consequences.
801
00:43:54,465 --> 00:43:55,424
That's not the point.
802
00:43:55,507 --> 00:43:56,675
Oh, what's the point?
803
00:43:57,259 --> 00:43:58,844
He's cramping my style.
804
00:43:59,428 --> 00:44:03,557
I need to be able to react to danger
on a moment's notice.
805
00:44:03,641 --> 00:44:06,602
How am I to do that when I'm playing
wet nurse to a 12-year-old?
806
00:44:06,685 --> 00:44:08,520
You're his dad!
807
00:44:08,604 --> 00:44:10,314
Alleged dad.
808
00:44:12,232 --> 00:44:14,026
Well, at least you have a kid.
809
00:44:18,489 --> 00:44:20,199
[Allison] Can I get another one?
810
00:44:25,037 --> 00:44:27,206
[Five] Okay, gather round, people.
811
00:44:27,873 --> 00:44:30,000
Where is-- Where's every-- Where's Luther?
812
00:44:30,084 --> 00:44:31,418
-Haven't seen him.
-Who knows?
813
00:44:31,502 --> 00:44:33,462
Anybody know where-- Okay, you know what?
814
00:44:33,545 --> 00:44:35,673
We got bigger problems
to worry about right now.
815
00:44:35,756 --> 00:44:36,757
Like what?
816
00:44:38,926 --> 00:44:40,302
This.
817
00:44:40,386 --> 00:44:42,346
[suspenseful orchestral music playing]
818
00:44:42,429 --> 00:44:43,639
[Viktor] Who are they?
819
00:44:43,722 --> 00:44:45,683
[Five] These are our mothers.
820
00:44:49,061 --> 00:44:50,062
That one's mine.
821
00:44:52,189 --> 00:44:53,273
They're all dead.
822
00:44:53,816 --> 00:44:56,110
They all died on the exact same day,
823
00:44:56,193 --> 00:44:57,986
October 1st, 1989.
824
00:44:58,070 --> 00:45:00,197
-[Viktor] That's our birthday.
-Not anymore, it isn't.
825
00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:01,782
They all died before we were born.
826
00:45:01,865 --> 00:45:04,743
That's dumb.
If we weren't born, how can we exist?
827
00:45:04,827 --> 00:45:06,870
-Exactly.
-What are you saying?
828
00:45:07,621 --> 00:45:11,208
I'm saying, when we jumped here,
we created a time paradox.
829
00:45:11,291 --> 00:45:13,419
All right? Not just any paradox.
830
00:45:13,502 --> 00:45:16,171
This is the grandfather paradox.
831
00:45:16,255 --> 00:45:18,465
What the hell is a grandfather paradox?
832
00:45:25,514 --> 00:45:28,892
[distant police siren wailing]
833
00:45:34,857 --> 00:45:36,066
[Sloane] Psst!
834
00:45:36,150 --> 00:45:38,110
[whispering] Luther! Hey!
835
00:45:38,777 --> 00:45:41,488
["Higher Love" by Lilly Winwood playing]
♪ Think about it ♪
836
00:45:42,281 --> 00:45:45,117
♪ There must be a higher love ♪
837
00:45:45,993 --> 00:45:50,205
♪ Down in the heart
Or in the stars above ♪
838
00:45:50,831 --> 00:45:52,583
♪ Without it ♪
839
00:45:53,167 --> 00:45:55,878
-[Luther] Whoa! What the…
-♪ Life is wasted time ♪
840
00:45:56,628 --> 00:45:58,714
♪ Look inside your heart ♪
841
00:45:58,797 --> 00:46:01,675
♪ I'll look inside of mine ♪
842
00:46:02,634 --> 00:46:05,804
♪ Things look so bad everywhere ♪
843
00:46:05,888 --> 00:46:06,889
[thud]
844
00:46:08,223 --> 00:46:10,517
♪ In this whole world ♪
845
00:46:10,601 --> 00:46:11,685
♪ What's fair? ♪
846
00:46:11,769 --> 00:46:13,228
Go get 'em, T. J. [crunching]
847
00:46:13,312 --> 00:46:16,857
♪ We walk blind and we try to see ♪
848
00:46:19,193 --> 00:46:22,863
♪ Falling behind in what could be ♪
849
00:46:24,656 --> 00:46:27,659
♪ Bring me a higher love… ♪
850
00:46:29,244 --> 00:46:30,329
Hey.
851
00:46:30,412 --> 00:46:31,663
-Shit.
-[Sloane] Oh…
852
00:46:31,747 --> 00:46:34,208
-Okay, now what?
-Here. Yes.
853
00:46:34,792 --> 00:46:35,918
[window creaking]
854
00:46:36,001 --> 00:46:37,795
Just need to… [grunts]
855
00:46:37,878 --> 00:46:39,546
Just… Yeah. Okay.
856
00:46:39,630 --> 00:46:42,090
[Sloane] Um, I'm gonna take this from you.
857
00:46:43,509 --> 00:46:44,635
We have to be quiet.
858
00:46:44,718 --> 00:46:47,012
[sighs] What the hell do you want from me?
859
00:46:47,095 --> 00:46:51,058
I wanted to apologize for earlier.
860
00:46:51,141 --> 00:46:52,851
Is this another one of your games?
861
00:46:52,935 --> 00:46:54,353
No, you don't understand.
862
00:46:54,436 --> 00:46:55,854
We were being watched.
863
00:46:55,938 --> 00:46:56,897
What? By who?
864
00:46:56,980 --> 00:46:59,149
My family. They're crazy.
865
00:46:59,233 --> 00:47:03,487
But I want to let you know,
I meant every word I said.
866
00:47:04,154 --> 00:47:05,697
Even about the moon?
867
00:47:05,781 --> 00:47:07,783
Especially about the moon.
868
00:47:11,495 --> 00:47:12,579
Well, um…
869
00:47:15,916 --> 00:47:17,376
Is anyone watching us now?
870
00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:20,212
No. But I mean, we should be--
871
00:47:20,295 --> 00:47:23,465
♪ We walk blind and we try to see ♪
872
00:47:25,300 --> 00:47:28,428
♪ Falling behind in what could be ♪
873
00:47:30,931 --> 00:47:33,809
♪ Bring me a higher love ♪
874
00:47:36,478 --> 00:47:40,190
♪ Bring me a higher love ♪
875
00:47:41,984 --> 00:47:44,862
♪ Bring me a higher love ♪
876
00:47:46,405 --> 00:47:49,074
♪ Where's this higher love ♪
877
00:47:49,157 --> 00:47:51,702
♪ I've been thinking of? ♪
878
00:47:52,995 --> 00:47:56,331
♪ I will wait for it ♪
879
00:47:58,834 --> 00:48:03,130
♪ I'm not too late for it ♪
880
00:48:03,922 --> 00:48:08,343
♪ Until then, I'll sing my song… ♪
881
00:48:08,427 --> 00:48:12,347
[rock violin music playing]
62503
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