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00:00:04,963 --> 00:00:09,551
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
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00:00:19,085 --> 00:00:22,521
Welcome back to Get On Up
with Chuck and Pam.
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00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:24,273
Flu season is right
around the corner.
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00:00:24,274 --> 00:00:26,108
So our local beauty expert
will be here
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00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:29,228
to show you how to look hot,
even if you have a cold.
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00:00:29,229 --> 00:00:30,929
Ah-choo.
- Gesundheit.
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00:00:33,032 --> 00:00:34,600
Gesundheit.
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00:00:34,601 --> 00:00:37,035
Are they the cutest couple
on TV or what, Gene?
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00:00:37,036 --> 00:00:38,837
Yeah, if you like white people.
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00:00:38,838 --> 00:00:40,372
Now look away, Mom.
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00:00:40,373 --> 00:00:42,708
What? Why?
Dad's hogging the bathroom
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00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:45,294
so I'm using the guest bathroom!
Ugh, Gene.
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00:00:45,295 --> 00:00:46,995
Come on, you've let me
do it before!
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00:00:46,996 --> 00:00:48,380
Fine. But move the dishes.
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00:00:50,900 --> 00:00:52,601
Aw, Gene!
That's my spot!
16
00:00:52,602 --> 00:00:54,436
That's funny.
It smells like my spot.
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00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:57,356
Asparagus!
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00:00:57,357 --> 00:00:59,141
I've been using the toilet
like an idiot.
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00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:00,843
Are you a fisherman who hates fish?
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00:01:00,844 --> 00:01:03,395
A pediatrician who hates kids?
We want to talk to you.
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00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:05,063
Also, want to be part of
our new cooking segment?
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00:01:05,064 --> 00:01:06,682
If you're a local chef,
send us a tape!
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00:01:06,683 --> 00:01:08,099
Oh, my God... B-Bob!
24
00:01:08,100 --> 00:01:10,202
Get in here!
What? What is it?
25
00:01:10,203 --> 00:01:11,620
You gotta make an audition tape
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00:01:11,621 --> 00:01:13,622
to do a cooking segment
for Get On Up!
27
00:01:13,623 --> 00:01:15,507
Oh, no. I don't...
I don't think so.
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00:01:15,508 --> 00:01:17,209
Oh, come on, Bob.
You'd be great!
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00:01:17,210 --> 00:01:19,044
No, no, that's...
that's not for me.
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00:01:19,045 --> 00:01:21,580
I mean, sure, it'd be fun
to be a celebrity chef, but...
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00:01:21,581 --> 00:01:23,098
Whoa. Whoa! Whoa. What?
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00:01:23,099 --> 00:01:25,701
When did a cooking segment turn
into being a celebrity chef?
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00:01:25,768 --> 00:01:27,102
That's not what I meant.
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00:01:27,103 --> 00:01:28,704
I meant cooking segment.
Forget it.
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00:01:28,705 --> 00:01:31,206
Rachael Ray over here.
With bigger hips.
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00:01:31,207 --> 00:01:33,175
Stop it. Go to school. Fine!
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00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:35,777
As long as we're giving orders,
put some clothes on!
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00:01:35,778 --> 00:01:38,280
Leave something to the
imagination, for God's sakes!
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00:01:44,020 --> 00:01:45,771
Look at me.
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00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:48,907
Is no one going to comment
on my Sasquatch mask?
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00:01:48,908 --> 00:01:50,308
Middle child.
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00:01:54,113 --> 00:01:55,364
Thanks for asking.
Peter Pescadero.
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00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:56,865
He said he'd give it to me
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00:01:56,866 --> 00:01:58,200
if I taught him
how to pop and lock.
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00:01:58,284 --> 00:02:00,168
Lucy Lock-it lost her Pop-it.
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00:02:00,169 --> 00:02:01,537
Now you.
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00:02:01,538 --> 00:02:04,056
Lucy Lock-it lost her...
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00:02:04,057 --> 00:02:06,391
What kind of a god
would give you those legs
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00:02:06,392 --> 00:02:08,176
and no rhythm?!
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00:02:08,177 --> 00:02:10,712
This mask is gonna
make me the new "it" kid.
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00:02:10,713 --> 00:02:12,047
As in, "What is it?"
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00:02:12,048 --> 00:02:13,432
"It's that kid in the mask."
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00:02:13,433 --> 00:02:14,783
"Ohh..."
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00:02:14,784 --> 00:02:17,152
Come on! Let me film you!
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No.
Yes.
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No. No.
Yes. Yes!
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00:02:19,656 --> 00:02:21,189
Fine!
Yay!
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00:02:21,190 --> 00:02:23,091
Kids, we're making an
audition tape for your father.
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00:02:23,159 --> 00:02:25,894
Hello, Gene.
You look intriguing today, son.
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00:02:25,895 --> 00:02:27,462
Why, thank you, Mother!
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00:02:27,463 --> 00:02:28,690
Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on.
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00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:32,486
Okay, are you ready? Action!
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00:02:33,903 --> 00:02:36,104
Okay. So, uh, I am preparing
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00:02:36,105 --> 00:02:38,774
the Onion-tended
Consequences burger.
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00:02:38,775 --> 00:02:41,977
Now, first you have
to caramelize the onions.
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00:02:41,978 --> 00:02:43,745
And no, I don't mean add caramel.
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00:02:43,813 --> 00:02:45,514
Ha!
Heh.
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00:02:45,515 --> 00:02:47,783
Then you add some fresh thyme,
which I have right here.
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00:02:47,784 --> 00:02:51,119
Then it's time to add
the goat cheese.
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00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:52,788
And voilà¡.
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00:02:52,789 --> 00:02:54,990
Notice me!
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00:02:54,991 --> 00:02:56,758
And cut.
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00:02:56,826 --> 00:02:59,444
Got a little weird at the end,
but they'll get the idea.
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00:02:59,445 --> 00:03:01,013
Honey, why don't you
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00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:02,447
take that off, huh?
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00:03:02,448 --> 00:03:04,416
Take what off?
This is me now!
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00:03:04,417 --> 00:03:05,602
Heard that before.
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00:03:05,618 --> 00:03:07,052
This is me now!
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00:03:07,053 --> 00:03:08,420
This is me now.
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This is me now!
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Hello? Yes, he's right here.
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Bob! Bob!
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It's Get On Up!
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Uh, hello.
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00:03:18,164 --> 00:03:19,498
You loved it?
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00:03:19,499 --> 00:03:20,732
Ooh!
Really?
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00:03:20,733 --> 00:03:22,017
Ah!
Uh, that's great.
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00:03:22,018 --> 00:03:23,685
Oh!
Of course I can come in.
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00:03:23,686 --> 00:03:24,953
Ohh!
Bring the whole family?
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00:03:24,954 --> 00:03:26,071
Woo!
Um, sure.
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00:03:26,139 --> 00:03:27,673
I can cook the... Oh.
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00:03:27,674 --> 00:03:29,274
Okay, bye.
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00:03:30,677 --> 00:03:32,377
Ah! Ha-ha!
Cooking segment!
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00:03:32,378 --> 00:03:33,712
Cooking segment!
Cooking segment!
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00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:35,080
Oh! Whoa.
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00:03:35,081 --> 00:03:36,949
I mean, it's um, you know,
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00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:38,550
it's gonna be good
for the restaurant.
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00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:40,385
Yeah.
That's the important thing.
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00:03:40,386 --> 00:03:41,837
But we can still jump up and down!
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00:03:41,838 --> 00:03:43,221
Ahh-ha-ha! We're doing it.
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00:03:43,222 --> 00:03:44,756
Oh, my God. Woo! Yay.
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00:03:44,757 --> 00:03:46,692
Should he be sweating like that?
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00:03:46,693 --> 00:03:47,793
Ow. Ow. Okay stop.
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00:03:49,612 --> 00:03:52,848
Oh, my God, this is so exciting!
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00:03:52,915 --> 00:03:54,449
I know.
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00:03:54,450 --> 00:03:56,018
Hi, you must be Bob.
I'm Kevin.
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00:03:56,019 --> 00:03:57,653
Let's introduce you
to Chuck and Pam.
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00:03:57,654 --> 00:03:59,121
Don't ask them
any questions, obviously.
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00:03:59,122 --> 00:04:00,622
And don't touch them,
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00:04:00,690 --> 00:04:02,457
but also don't make
too much eye contact.
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00:04:02,458 --> 00:04:04,776
Everybody's friendly...
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00:04:04,844 --> 00:04:06,244
Bob!
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00:04:06,245 --> 00:04:07,446
We just loved your tape.
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00:04:07,513 --> 00:04:09,464
Well, some of us did.
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00:04:09,465 --> 00:04:10,916
Oh, hello.
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00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:13,018
Are you a little bunny?
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00:04:14,387 --> 00:04:15,787
I smell fear on you.
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00:04:15,788 --> 00:04:17,589
Okay. I don't like that one.
121
00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:18,924
So, Bob, you'll stand over here,
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00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:20,926
and then we'll put Gene here.
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00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:22,728
- Yeah.
- Exactly like in the tape.
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00:04:22,729 --> 00:04:24,262
I knew it! I mean,
I had no idea, but...
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00:04:24,263 --> 00:04:26,131
yes!
No, no, no, no, no.
126
00:04:26,199 --> 00:04:28,333
It's great. It's like when they
got a chimp on The Today Show.
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00:04:28,334 --> 00:04:30,002
Yeah, that was in the '50s,
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00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:31,938
but sure, let's base all
our decisions on that.
129
00:04:31,971 --> 00:04:33,905
I think it could go viral!
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00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:39,077
I'm gonna have two little stars!
Oh, great.
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00:04:39,078 --> 00:04:41,680
Well, I don't know about
you, Pam, but that is certainly
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00:04:41,681 --> 00:04:42,981
some of the cutest baby panda
footage I've ever seen.
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00:04:42,982 --> 00:04:44,666
Oh.
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00:04:44,667 --> 00:04:47,202
So I'll do all the talking
and you just nod, all right?
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00:04:47,203 --> 00:04:48,537
Yes. Check.
136
00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:50,639
And entertain the crap
out of everybody.
137
00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:53,041
No, no, no, not that. Okay, just...
Blow their minds. Got it.
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00:04:53,042 --> 00:04:54,976
Gene, stop it. Don't do that.
I got it. Go, go, go, go, go, go.
139
00:04:54,977 --> 00:04:56,545
Okay, and now it is time
for our new segment,
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00:04:56,612 --> 00:04:58,346
"Hey, Good Cookin'."
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00:04:58,347 --> 00:05:01,450
And today's chef is
Bob of Bob's Burgers.
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00:05:01,451 --> 00:05:02,884
And who is this furry fella?
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00:05:02,885 --> 00:05:05,187
I'm... the Sasquatch Kid!
144
00:05:05,188 --> 00:05:06,755
No wait, Burgerfoot!
145
00:05:06,756 --> 00:05:09,691
No, Beefsquatch!
146
00:05:11,694 --> 00:05:13,562
Right. Um...
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00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:15,530
And today, uh...
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00:05:15,531 --> 00:05:17,666
we're making the
Bruschetta Bout It Burger.
149
00:05:17,667 --> 00:05:19,451
So we start with some
fresh mozzarella,
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00:05:19,452 --> 00:05:20,802
and some basil...
151
00:05:20,803 --> 00:05:22,571
Mm, mm, mm.
Gene. Stop it.
152
00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:24,389
Pop-it-lock-it- pop-it-lock-it.
And then we, uh,
153
00:05:24,390 --> 00:05:25,857
add some oil and vinegar
to these, and...
154
00:05:25,858 --> 00:05:27,275
I want beef!
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00:05:27,276 --> 00:05:29,177
Oh.
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00:05:30,813 --> 00:05:32,581
Beefsquatch likey like.
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00:05:40,239 --> 00:05:42,259
Ha ha ha! Beefsquatch.
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00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:48,430
Oh, boy.
Beefsquatch!
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00:05:50,934 --> 00:05:53,633
So they want Bob and Gene
back next week.
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00:05:53,634 --> 00:05:55,935
They said it got the most
response of any segment
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00:05:55,936 --> 00:05:57,804
since they showed Pam
getting her tubes tied.
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00:05:57,805 --> 00:06:00,068
The fallopians on that woman!
Eh...
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00:06:00,107 --> 00:06:01,741
Bob, you excited or what?
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00:06:01,742 --> 00:06:03,843
Bobby?
No, Teddy. I'm not.
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00:06:03,844 --> 00:06:05,945
Why not?
He's just mad 'cause he thinks Gene
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00:06:05,946 --> 00:06:07,780
Beefsquatched all over
his special moment.
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00:06:07,781 --> 00:06:09,649
Don't, Lin. Don't use
that as a verb.
168
00:06:09,650 --> 00:06:11,651
It's just... it's not
what I envisioned, Teddy.
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00:06:11,652 --> 00:06:12,872
'Cause it was horrible.
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00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:14,787
It was great!
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00:06:14,788 --> 00:06:16,656
I knew this mask was powerful!
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00:06:16,657 --> 00:06:18,591
So, who wants to touch
and/or be touched
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00:06:18,592 --> 00:06:20,293
by a famous person?
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00:06:20,294 --> 00:06:22,645
Can I please have my mask back? No!
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00:06:22,646 --> 00:06:24,847
I explicitly said
no backsies, Peter.
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00:06:24,848 --> 00:06:27,233
In this country,
no backsies means something!
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00:06:27,234 --> 00:06:28,684
Now go pop and lock!
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00:06:28,752 --> 00:06:30,019
But I don't want to do it anymore.
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00:06:30,087 --> 00:06:31,054
Go!
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00:06:31,121 --> 00:06:34,290
Lucy Lock-it lost her Pop-it...
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00:06:38,746 --> 00:06:40,113
Brush, brush, brush.
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00:06:40,114 --> 00:06:41,547
Gene. Hmm?
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00:06:41,548 --> 00:06:43,883
I need you to do something
for me. It's... It's important.
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00:06:43,884 --> 00:06:46,323
I'm not pulling out your long
eyebrow hairs again, Dad.
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00:06:46,387 --> 00:06:48,421
No, it's not...
Wait, are they back?
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00:06:48,422 --> 00:06:50,089
Oh, yeah.
Yeesh, that is bad.
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00:06:50,090 --> 00:06:51,491
Anyway, I was thinking maybe, um,
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00:06:51,492 --> 00:06:53,092
could you, uh, tone it down
out there a little?
189
00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:55,595
Like, uh, let me
explain the recipe?
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00:06:55,596 --> 00:06:57,196
Try to entertain 'em a little?
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00:06:57,197 --> 00:06:59,532
Sounds crazy,
but you got it, Dad. Great.
192
00:06:59,533 --> 00:07:01,801
I'll just wait for you to
succeed or fail. Thanks.
193
00:07:01,802 --> 00:07:04,090
Could go great, could be
a disaster... Okay. I got it.
194
00:07:04,138 --> 00:07:06,456
Psst. Psst.
195
00:07:06,523 --> 00:07:08,508
Hi.
Hi.
196
00:07:08,509 --> 00:07:10,810
My mom lets me come
to all the show tapings,
197
00:07:10,811 --> 00:07:12,879
as long as it doesn't interfere
with school work.
198
00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:14,947
It does.
Okay.
199
00:07:14,948 --> 00:07:16,282
You're a VIP, right?
200
00:07:16,283 --> 00:07:17,834
Did you get to meet Pam?
201
00:07:17,835 --> 00:07:19,769
Who, the host lady? Yeah.
202
00:07:21,555 --> 00:07:23,506
Are you okay?
I'm fine.
203
00:07:23,507 --> 00:07:24,941
So did you, like, I don't know,
204
00:07:24,942 --> 00:07:26,442
taste her hair or anything?
205
00:07:26,443 --> 00:07:27,877
No. I didn't think of that.
206
00:07:27,878 --> 00:07:29,412
I guess I could have.
207
00:07:30,764 --> 00:07:32,281
She was swooshing
her hair all around.
208
00:07:33,951 --> 00:07:35,968
I'm gonna turn this way.
209
00:07:35,969 --> 00:07:38,938
So to make our Mediterr-Ain't-
Misbehavin' Burger,
210
00:07:38,939 --> 00:07:40,506
we have some feta cheese...
Mmm. Mmm.
211
00:07:40,507 --> 00:07:41,874
And, uh, of course some eggplant...
212
00:07:41,875 --> 00:07:43,509
Hmm.
Yum.
213
00:07:43,510 --> 00:07:45,578
Uh, actually, these eggplants
were freshly laid
214
00:07:45,579 --> 00:07:47,133
by the chickenplant this morning.
215
00:07:49,082 --> 00:07:51,017
Anyway, so with these...
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00:07:51,018 --> 00:07:52,568
Uh, Pam, why don't you
give the audience
217
00:07:52,569 --> 00:07:55,071
a chance to get the joke.
Chickenplant.
218
00:07:59,193 --> 00:08:01,410
Oop, I think this one's
hatching right now.
219
00:08:04,515 --> 00:08:05,915
I'll save you, boring cook!
220
00:08:09,069 --> 00:08:10,286
Beefsquatch!
221
00:08:13,357 --> 00:08:16,225
Okay, okay, that'll be $5.
222
00:08:16,226 --> 00:08:18,123
Throw in another five
and he'll burp in your face.
223
00:08:18,162 --> 00:08:19,929
Wow! Look at all these people
224
00:08:19,930 --> 00:08:22,165
that came 'cause of the show,
Bobby! Uh-huh.
225
00:08:22,166 --> 00:08:23,933
Oh, my God, it's great
for the restaurant,
226
00:08:23,934 --> 00:08:25,668
just like you wanted!
227
00:08:25,669 --> 00:08:27,537
Yeah, it's all just how
I wanted it. Mm-hmm.
228
00:08:29,173 --> 00:08:30,940
Hey. Nice dish tub.
229
00:08:30,941 --> 00:08:32,575
Thanks.
You want to go out?
230
00:08:32,576 --> 00:08:34,610
Wow, you must really
like dish tubs.
231
00:08:34,611 --> 00:08:36,279
Are you that boy from
the studio audience?
232
00:08:36,346 --> 00:08:37,997
Shh-shh-shh.
233
00:08:37,998 --> 00:08:39,765
Look, there's something here.
We both know it.
234
00:08:39,766 --> 00:08:41,184
Let's just take it and run with it.
235
00:08:41,268 --> 00:08:43,398
Um... Okay.
Could be worse.
236
00:08:43,437 --> 00:08:44,704
"Could be worse."
237
00:08:46,573 --> 00:08:48,674
Guess who's gonna get
an arm put around them? Me?
238
00:08:50,844 --> 00:08:52,828
Can I get your autograph?
239
00:08:52,829 --> 00:08:54,480
There you go, Toots.
240
00:08:54,481 --> 00:08:56,232
Beefsquatch signed it.
Oh, my God!
241
00:08:56,233 --> 00:08:58,084
I'll sign it.
Ow!
242
00:08:58,085 --> 00:09:00,790
"Keep sizzling. Bob."
243
00:09:00,821 --> 00:09:02,305
There you go.
244
00:09:02,306 --> 00:09:03,606
Who are you?
Who are you, huh?
245
00:09:03,607 --> 00:09:06,175
Old man freak.
You idiot kid.
246
00:09:06,176 --> 00:09:07,860
Oh, my God, I can't believe
247
00:09:07,928 --> 00:09:09,462
we were invited to
Chuck's pool party.
248
00:09:10,764 --> 00:09:12,381
It'll be swarming with celebrities!
249
00:09:12,382 --> 00:09:14,800
Remember, they're just normal
people like you and me.
250
00:09:14,801 --> 00:09:17,820
Oh, my God, it's local
weatherman Scott Bags!
251
00:09:17,821 --> 00:09:20,072
Scott! Say "cold front!"
Say "cold front!"
252
00:09:20,140 --> 00:09:22,174
Linda. Stop it.
Cold front!
253
00:09:22,175 --> 00:09:23,609
What? He's the weatherman!
254
00:09:23,610 --> 00:09:24,731
Last one in the pool is Tina!
255
00:09:24,778 --> 00:09:26,483
Ah!
256
00:09:26,496 --> 00:09:28,281
Hey... Oh.
257
00:09:28,282 --> 00:09:29,949
Hey, hey!
You guys made it!
258
00:09:29,950 --> 00:09:32,235
Come on, Linda.
Let's get tanked! Yeah.
259
00:09:32,236 --> 00:09:34,387
Uh, thanks for, uh,
inviting us, Chuck.
260
00:09:34,388 --> 00:09:35,805
You're in the inner circle, Bob.
261
00:09:35,806 --> 00:09:38,241
Think of us as your family now.
Okay.
262
00:09:38,242 --> 00:09:40,743
So, you and Linda swing?
Uh, no.
263
00:09:40,744 --> 00:09:42,695
Okay.
I'll take that as a yes.
264
00:09:42,696 --> 00:09:43,879
Wink.
No, I...
265
00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:45,147
Steve's wife! You likey?
266
00:09:45,148 --> 00:09:46,415
Um.
No? Why not?
267
00:09:46,416 --> 00:09:47,617
Body? Face?
268
00:09:47,618 --> 00:09:48,968
Both. Okay.
269
00:09:48,969 --> 00:09:51,137
Hey, Steve, you likey?
Um, Chuck...
270
00:09:51,138 --> 00:09:53,673
Hey, be open to it. Be open to it.
I really don't think this...
271
00:09:53,674 --> 00:09:55,308
I thought I told you
you were in the inner circle.
272
00:09:55,309 --> 00:09:56,926
Right. And the only
rule in the inner circle
273
00:09:56,927 --> 00:09:58,578
is that you're open to it,
so if Steve's in...
274
00:09:58,579 --> 00:10:00,016
Oop, Steve's not interested
anyway, never mind.
275
00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:01,697
We're divorced, you know.
276
00:10:01,698 --> 00:10:03,532
What?
Mm-hmm.
277
00:10:03,533 --> 00:10:05,835
- Oh, my God, you're divor...
- I can't believe that.
278
00:10:05,836 --> 00:10:08,137
Yeah, we are.
You two look so happy on TV.
279
00:10:08,138 --> 00:10:09,472
Ugh.
What happened?
280
00:10:09,473 --> 00:10:10,873
Fame!
No.
281
00:10:10,941 --> 00:10:11,807
Yes.
No.
282
00:10:11,875 --> 00:10:13,876
Yes.
Fame's great, I thought.
283
00:10:13,944 --> 00:10:16,362
Fame tears families apart.
No.
284
00:10:16,363 --> 00:10:18,531
What?
That, and the fact that
285
00:10:18,532 --> 00:10:21,133
I refuse to live in a house
with low-flush toilets.
286
00:10:21,134 --> 00:10:23,536
I deserve the full flush, Linda.
287
00:10:23,537 --> 00:10:25,571
Of course you do, honey.
288
00:10:25,572 --> 00:10:26,960
Thank you.
Yeah.
289
00:10:29,042 --> 00:10:30,142
Damn it.
290
00:10:32,045 --> 00:10:34,463
Stupid toilet.
291
00:10:34,464 --> 00:10:36,465
I'm Bob from Bob's Burgers.
292
00:10:36,466 --> 00:10:38,718
Eggplants come from chickenplants.
293
00:10:40,971 --> 00:10:42,104
Hilarious!
That's so Bob!
294
00:10:42,105 --> 00:10:43,673
Nailed it, Beefsquatch!
295
00:10:43,674 --> 00:10:45,641
Hey. Are you making fun of me? No.
296
00:10:45,642 --> 00:10:47,643
No, Dad. No.
297
00:10:47,644 --> 00:10:50,146
That mask has turned you
into a real jerk, Gene!
298
00:10:50,147 --> 00:10:52,902
I think you mean megastar.
299
00:10:52,949 --> 00:10:54,317
Oh, my God, they're making a scene.
300
00:10:54,318 --> 00:10:55,651
You two stop it!
301
00:10:55,652 --> 00:10:57,320
No. Let them fight.
302
00:10:57,321 --> 00:10:59,238
Everybody look that way.
303
00:10:59,239 --> 00:11:00,410
There she goes.
304
00:11:00,474 --> 00:11:02,308
Maybe I should just quit.
305
00:11:02,309 --> 00:11:04,644
Do it! Leave the entertaining
to the pros... meaning me
306
00:11:04,645 --> 00:11:06,445
and other people with masks!
307
00:11:06,446 --> 00:11:07,947
No, you know what?
308
00:11:07,948 --> 00:11:10,733
It's time for you
to learn a lesson.
309
00:11:10,734 --> 00:11:12,168
Watch your back, Beefsquatch.
310
00:11:12,169 --> 00:11:14,036
Why don't you watch it for me?
311
00:11:14,037 --> 00:11:16,205
'Cause I'll be shaking it
right in your face!
312
00:11:16,206 --> 00:11:17,540
And it'll look like this!
313
00:11:17,607 --> 00:11:19,475
Ba-baba- bo-bo-eh-eh...
314
00:11:22,462 --> 00:11:23,863
It's not funny, Chuck!
315
00:11:23,864 --> 00:11:25,531
It's pretty funny!
316
00:11:29,524 --> 00:11:32,526
I'm gonna make this show
a living nightmare for you.
317
00:11:32,593 --> 00:11:34,111
You're gonna wish
you'd never been born,
318
00:11:34,112 --> 00:11:35,946
meaning I wouldn't be born!
319
00:11:36,030 --> 00:11:38,282
What can I get my favorite
father-son team?
320
00:11:38,283 --> 00:11:39,616
Separate dressing rooms.
Separate dressing rooms.
321
00:11:39,617 --> 00:11:41,802
And a piñata and large
satin pillows. Now!
322
00:11:41,803 --> 00:11:43,303
And Greek yogurt.
323
00:11:43,304 --> 00:11:44,755
Two-percent for me.
324
00:11:44,756 --> 00:11:47,040
Just the plain is fine
for both of us!
325
00:11:47,108 --> 00:11:50,193
Louise! Psst! Come here!
326
00:11:50,194 --> 00:11:51,278
I'm trying to sabotage Beefsquatch
327
00:11:51,279 --> 00:11:52,646
and I need your help.
328
00:11:52,714 --> 00:11:54,348
Well, first of all,
I'm flattered...
329
00:11:54,415 --> 00:11:56,716
Shush. Is there anything I can
do to throw him off his game?
330
00:11:56,751 --> 00:11:58,051
Dynamite in the burger.
331
00:11:58,052 --> 00:11:59,019
More subtle.
332
00:11:59,020 --> 00:12:00,287
C4.
Move off explosives.
333
00:12:00,288 --> 00:12:01,804
Habanero peppers.
A lot of them.
334
00:12:01,856 --> 00:12:02,930
Yes! You're a genius!
335
00:12:02,991 --> 00:12:03,765
Oh, stop.
336
00:12:03,825 --> 00:12:05,192
Get me habanero peppers!
337
00:12:05,193 --> 00:12:06,693
I'll call my guy.
Ring, ring.
338
00:12:06,694 --> 00:12:08,228
Let me talk to him.
339
00:12:08,229 --> 00:12:10,163
That's a fake phone.
I don't care.
340
00:12:10,164 --> 00:12:12,082
What's your name?
I don't speak Spanish.
341
00:12:12,083 --> 00:12:15,819
I do. Hola, combre se hombre,
habanero pepper.
342
00:12:15,820 --> 00:12:18,855
Caw, caw, caw!
343
00:12:18,856 --> 00:12:21,308
Caw! I get it.
I'm in your dressing room.
344
00:12:21,309 --> 00:12:23,026
Oh. Listen, I need you
345
00:12:23,027 --> 00:12:25,595
to help me sabotage Dad
on the show. What a day!
346
00:12:25,663 --> 00:12:28,598
I was thinking, what if I
mislabeled Dad's utensils?
347
00:12:28,599 --> 00:12:30,600
Write, like, "eggbeater"
on the spatula,
348
00:12:30,601 --> 00:12:32,552
and "oven" on the cutting board.
Hmm?
349
00:12:32,620 --> 00:12:34,754
Or what if you put superglue
on them?
350
00:12:34,772 --> 00:12:36,139
Yes! But can you do it?
351
00:12:36,140 --> 00:12:38,041
The last time I used superglue,
352
00:12:38,042 --> 00:12:41,010
I accidentally glued my wiener
to my remote control helicopter.
353
00:12:41,045 --> 00:12:45,265
Ah! Oh! Ah! Oh! Oh, oh...!
354
00:12:45,333 --> 00:12:47,501
Accidentally on purpose.
355
00:12:49,137 --> 00:12:50,136
Hello, my lady.
356
00:12:50,138 --> 00:12:51,705
Hello, my boyfriend Nathan.
357
00:12:51,773 --> 00:12:54,274
So, how about we take this
to the next level?
358
00:12:54,275 --> 00:12:55,909
You wanna make out?
Okay, on three.
359
00:12:55,910 --> 00:12:57,944
One... Ah...
360
00:12:57,945 --> 00:13:00,614
No. I mean, take me
backstage to meet Pam.
361
00:13:00,615 --> 00:13:03,083
Wait, are you only going out
with me to get to Pam?
362
00:13:03,084 --> 00:13:04,718
Don't tell me how to love you!
363
00:13:04,786 --> 00:13:06,887
Nathan, you might be in this
for the wrong reasons.
364
00:13:06,888 --> 00:13:08,155
I think we should break up.
365
00:13:08,156 --> 00:13:09,556
Fine. Throw away the best thing
366
00:13:09,557 --> 00:13:11,091
that's ever happened to you.
367
00:13:11,092 --> 00:13:12,976
I don't really think
this is the best...
368
00:13:12,977 --> 00:13:15,746
But know this!
I will taste Pam's hair!
369
00:13:15,747 --> 00:13:18,949
And there's nothing you can do
to stop me! Let's stay friends.
370
00:13:18,950 --> 00:13:20,884
It smells like it's time
for our favorite segment...
371
00:13:20,885 --> 00:13:22,903
"Hey, Good Cookin'"!
372
00:13:22,970 --> 00:13:25,305
So, whatcha got cookin' up
today, Bob?
373
00:13:25,306 --> 00:13:27,274
Well, Chuck, it's the "I'm
Gonna Get You Succotash Burger."
374
00:13:27,275 --> 00:13:29,209
That's rich.
375
00:13:29,210 --> 00:13:30,944
So I'm just chopping up
some tomatoes. Mm-hmm.
376
00:13:30,945 --> 00:13:32,879
And then I'm going to, uh...
377
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:34,448
You all right there?
Yeah.
378
00:13:34,449 --> 00:13:35,248
Mm-hmm.
That's funny.
379
00:13:35,249 --> 00:13:37,000
I'll hold onto that.
380
00:13:37,001 --> 00:13:39,786
Well, why don't we just
get the burger on the bun?
381
00:13:39,787 --> 00:13:41,054
How 'bout that, Chuck?
Okay.
382
00:13:41,055 --> 00:13:42,856
Gene!
383
00:13:42,857 --> 00:13:44,574
- Beefsquatch!
- Beefsquatch! Beefsquatch!
384
00:13:44,609 --> 00:13:48,078
Beefsquatch! Beefsquatch!
Beefsquatch! Beefsquatch!
385
00:13:48,079 --> 00:13:50,280
Well if it isn't
Mr. Spatula Knife Hands!
386
00:13:50,281 --> 00:13:51,581
Oh, hi, Beefsquatch.
387
00:13:51,582 --> 00:13:53,016
Go ahead.
Have a burger.
388
00:13:53,017 --> 00:13:54,718
Don't mind if I do!
389
00:13:59,123 --> 00:14:01,625
I put peppers in it!
390
00:14:01,692 --> 00:14:05,629
You bastard!
I'm gonna get you for this!
391
00:14:05,630 --> 00:14:06,997
Bring it on, Beefcrotch!
392
00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:24,865
Kitty litter!
393
00:14:42,066 --> 00:14:44,367
What a crazy couple weeks, huh?
394
00:14:44,368 --> 00:14:46,344
Anyone want to talk about it?
395
00:14:46,404 --> 00:14:48,171
I just got out
of a serious relationship.
396
00:14:48,172 --> 00:14:49,072
Tina, shush.
397
00:14:49,073 --> 00:14:50,607
Well, I am doing great!
398
00:14:50,608 --> 00:14:53,510
How about you, son?
Great here, Dad.
399
00:14:53,511 --> 00:14:56,029
Why don't you give me a big hug!
Love to.
400
00:14:56,030 --> 00:14:57,497
That would be great.
401
00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,101
Oh, bullhonk!
402
00:15:01,152 --> 00:15:03,520
Pam warned me about this
when she was binge-drinking.
403
00:15:03,588 --> 00:15:05,489
She said fame destroys families.
404
00:15:05,556 --> 00:15:07,691
And this family's going
right in the crapper.
405
00:15:07,692 --> 00:15:09,459
So that is why...
406
00:15:09,460 --> 00:15:11,745
I think you two
should quit the show.
407
00:15:11,813 --> 00:15:13,447
Tell him to quit.
Tell him to quit.
408
00:15:13,448 --> 00:15:14,247
Him!
Him!
409
00:15:14,315 --> 00:15:15,816
Well, I quit!
410
00:15:15,817 --> 00:15:17,350
The dirty tricks department
is closed!
411
00:15:17,351 --> 00:15:18,902
What are you talking about?
412
00:15:18,903 --> 00:15:20,403
Nothing.
Forget it.
413
00:15:20,404 --> 00:15:22,055
Hey, we had some good times,
didn't we?
414
00:15:22,056 --> 00:15:23,323
Were you helping him?
Were you helping him?
415
00:15:23,324 --> 00:15:24,758
Jinx.
Yeah, I'm out!
416
00:15:24,759 --> 00:15:26,960
I'm sick of your dark,
twisted games.
417
00:15:26,961 --> 00:15:28,528
I'm going to go take a shower.
418
00:15:28,529 --> 00:15:29,996
Wash this filth off me.
419
00:15:30,064 --> 00:15:31,498
Filthy!
Filthy!
420
00:15:31,499 --> 00:15:33,066
Look, if you guys
aren't gonna quit,
421
00:15:33,067 --> 00:15:35,168
then I'm gonna go talk
to Chuck and Pam myself!
422
00:15:35,169 --> 00:15:37,637
Pam and I are tight!
She'll put an end to this.
423
00:15:37,638 --> 00:15:38,855
No.
What?
424
00:15:38,856 --> 00:15:40,640
But what about all that stuff
you said
425
00:15:40,641 --> 00:15:42,142
about fame destroying
relationships?
426
00:15:42,210 --> 00:15:44,144
That's just something
famous people say.
427
00:15:44,145 --> 00:15:46,346
Look, we've struck gold here,
and I will be damned
428
00:15:46,347 --> 00:15:49,182
if I'm gonna let some mama bear
come in here and ruin it!
429
00:15:49,183 --> 00:15:51,518
So unless you work
for the network or the affiliate
430
00:15:51,519 --> 00:15:53,987
or the FCC, I can legally
pretend that you don't exist.
431
00:15:53,988 --> 00:15:55,155
Well, you're not getting rid
432
00:15:55,156 --> 00:15:56,406
of this mama bear so easy!
433
00:15:56,407 --> 00:15:57,582
Yes, I am. Security.
434
00:15:57,625 --> 00:16:00,627
Hey! Oh, ooh, ooh, ah, ooh!
435
00:16:03,503 --> 00:16:06,533
Hey,
you see those guys over there
436
00:16:06,534 --> 00:16:09,336
with the untucked dress shirts?
I'll go tuck 'em in.
437
00:16:09,403 --> 00:16:10,971
No, no.
They hate that.
438
00:16:10,972 --> 00:16:12,706
That's the VP and assistant VP
of programming.
439
00:16:12,707 --> 00:16:14,274
They're talking about a spin-off.
440
00:16:14,275 --> 00:16:16,142
A spin-off? Your own show,
guys, with me producing.
441
00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:17,611
It could be bigger than Get On Up.
442
00:16:17,612 --> 00:16:19,045
Well, bigger than Get On Down,
443
00:16:19,046 --> 00:16:20,697
which is the midnight
rebroadcast of Get On Up.
444
00:16:20,765 --> 00:16:22,766
We're gonna be moderately wealthy!
445
00:16:22,767 --> 00:16:24,584
I could date someone half my age...
446
00:16:24,585 --> 00:16:26,553
five-and-a-half-year-old starlet.
447
00:16:26,554 --> 00:16:28,121
Yeah, so it would really seal
the deal
448
00:16:28,122 --> 00:16:29,606
if you guys would, you know,
449
00:16:29,607 --> 00:16:31,558
physically attack each other
a little bit. Or a lot.
450
00:16:31,559 --> 00:16:32,876
Interesting.
451
00:16:32,877 --> 00:16:33,944
Sure.
Mm-hmm.
452
00:16:33,945 --> 00:16:35,312
Makes perfect sense, right?
453
00:16:35,313 --> 00:16:36,646
It's a cooking segment, so, yeah.
454
00:16:36,647 --> 00:16:38,615
Great! And physical violence
on three.
455
00:16:38,616 --> 00:16:40,901
I'm not doing it.
One, two, three.
456
00:16:40,968 --> 00:16:41,935
Physical violence!
Physical violence!
457
00:16:42,003 --> 00:16:44,004
Have you seen my mom anywhere?
458
00:16:44,005 --> 00:16:45,872
Yeah, I threw her out.
But that's funny.
459
00:16:45,873 --> 00:16:48,575
I just let you go backstage
a second ago.
460
00:16:48,576 --> 00:16:50,644
Huh.
I wonder where I was going?
461
00:16:50,711 --> 00:16:52,696
Just let me taste it!
462
00:16:52,697 --> 00:16:54,381
Get off of me!
463
00:16:54,382 --> 00:16:55,748
Hey, Tina, check out Tina.
464
00:16:55,749 --> 00:16:56,883
Nathan! No!
465
00:16:56,884 --> 00:16:58,518
No, no, no.
466
00:16:58,586 --> 00:16:59,819
What is going on?!
467
00:16:59,820 --> 00:17:00,770
Let me go!
468
00:17:00,771 --> 00:17:01,821
I don't think that...
469
00:17:01,889 --> 00:17:02,939
we can stay friends.
470
00:17:02,974 --> 00:17:04,649
Security!
471
00:17:04,675 --> 00:17:05,475
Hey, Mom.
472
00:17:05,476 --> 00:17:07,377
What the...?
473
00:17:07,445 --> 00:17:10,247
Oh, sorry. This is
my ex-boyfriend, Nathan.
474
00:17:10,248 --> 00:17:11,815
Aw, you two couldn't make it work?
475
00:17:11,882 --> 00:17:13,416
No, we couldn't make it work.
No.
476
00:17:13,484 --> 00:17:16,453
And eight, and nine, and ten...
477
00:17:16,454 --> 00:17:18,288
Oh, wow!
478
00:17:18,289 --> 00:17:19,823
Looking mazel-tough,
Exercise Rabbi.
479
00:17:19,824 --> 00:17:23,526
Call the fire department
'cause my buns are burning!
480
00:17:23,527 --> 00:17:25,362
Speaking of buns,
I think I can smell some.
481
00:17:25,363 --> 00:17:27,681
And it must be time for...
"Hey, Good Cookin'"!
482
00:17:27,748 --> 00:17:29,783
So, what's cookin', Bob?
Well, Chuck,
483
00:17:29,784 --> 00:17:31,885
it's the Every Breath
You Tikka Masala Burger.
484
00:17:31,886 --> 00:17:33,954
We start with
a little coconut milk.
485
00:17:33,955 --> 00:17:35,422
Mm-hmm. Right? There it is.
486
00:17:35,423 --> 00:17:37,090
There's the coconut milk.
No one cares.
487
00:17:37,091 --> 00:17:38,458
And then, some curry paste...
488
00:17:38,459 --> 00:17:40,160
You want me to even pick it up
489
00:17:40,161 --> 00:17:41,661
'cause no one's listening?
490
00:17:41,662 --> 00:17:43,129
Whatever, whatever.
Just move it along.
491
00:17:43,130 --> 00:17:44,798
So, yeah, that's curry paste.
492
00:17:44,799 --> 00:17:46,466
I'm bored up here!
493
00:17:46,467 --> 00:17:48,602
Yeah, should I go to the next
ingredient or just...?
494
00:17:48,669 --> 00:17:49,610
Beefsquatch! Beefsquatch!
495
00:17:49,670 --> 00:17:50,736
Beefsquatch!
496
00:17:50,771 --> 00:17:51,821
Beefsquatch!
497
00:17:51,872 --> 00:17:52,906
More scotch.
498
00:17:52,974 --> 00:17:53,857
Beefsquatch!
499
00:17:53,858 --> 00:17:55,909
My ears are burning!
500
00:17:55,910 --> 00:17:59,362
Beefsquatch took you down!
That's it!
501
00:17:59,447 --> 00:18:01,080
Beef fight! Beef fight!
Beef fight!
502
00:18:01,132 --> 00:18:02,332
Come here, beef boy!
503
00:18:05,853 --> 00:18:07,336
No matter what, don't stop rolling.
504
00:18:08,189 --> 00:18:09,673
Oh, my God!
505
00:18:09,757 --> 00:18:11,858
They're gonna kill each other!
On TV!
506
00:18:13,377 --> 00:18:15,862
Are you not entertained?!
507
00:18:15,930 --> 00:18:17,664
No... a little.
Not you!
508
00:18:19,828 --> 00:18:21,045
Oh, stop it! Stop it!
509
00:18:21,112 --> 00:18:22,863
Oh, Louise, Tina, Boy-Tina,
510
00:18:22,864 --> 00:18:25,149
we gotta get in there!
511
00:18:25,150 --> 00:18:28,024
Anyone want to help me
throw this through the window?
512
00:18:28,086 --> 00:18:30,521
You're a bad, bad boy!
513
00:18:30,522 --> 00:18:32,122
It stinks in here!
514
00:18:33,958 --> 00:18:35,698
Bob, Gene, look at yourselves!
515
00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:37,394
You're father and son!
516
00:18:37,395 --> 00:18:39,452
You're supposed to love each
other, not kill each other.
517
00:18:39,497 --> 00:18:41,332
This isn't the Bible!
518
00:18:41,333 --> 00:18:44,685
This show has torn my mily
apart long enough! It ends now!
519
00:18:44,686 --> 00:18:48,322
Kids, cover your ears.
FCC, here comes Linda!
520
00:18:48,323 --> 00:18:52,860
Dagnabbit, pee popper,
nuts to poppa, stinka boob taka,
521
00:18:52,861 --> 00:18:54,728
momma kaga, poopa daddy!
522
00:18:54,779 --> 00:18:56,246
What was that?
523
00:18:56,247 --> 00:18:57,915
I'm cursing on live TV!
524
00:18:57,982 --> 00:18:59,883
Uh, those aren't curse words.
Not even close.
525
00:18:59,884 --> 00:19:02,553
Okay.
Well, how 'bout this?
526
00:19:02,554 --> 00:19:03,904
No, no!
No nudity! No nudity!
527
00:19:04,806 --> 00:19:05,806
Aw, sick!
528
00:19:05,874 --> 00:19:08,142
This is to save my family!
529
00:19:08,143 --> 00:19:10,044
A-boobity- boobity-boobity-boo!
530
00:19:10,111 --> 00:19:10,544
Wow.
531
00:19:10,612 --> 00:19:11,245
Whoa!
532
00:19:11,312 --> 00:19:11,879
Whoa.
533
00:19:11,946 --> 00:19:13,247
DVR! DVR!
534
00:19:13,314 --> 00:19:15,382
You said to keep rolling.
We're done. We're done.
535
00:19:15,383 --> 00:19:17,134
Yeah, by the way,
the same thing happened
536
00:19:17,135 --> 00:19:18,402
with the chimp on The Today Show.
537
00:19:18,403 --> 00:19:19,737
Shut your mouth!
538
00:19:19,738 --> 00:19:20,754
You have a smart mouth.
You have a smart mouth.
539
00:19:20,755 --> 00:19:21,822
Oh, you shut that.
Shove it!
540
00:19:21,890 --> 00:19:23,490
Wow.
Yeah, no kidding.
541
00:19:23,491 --> 00:19:26,510
I can't believe
she did that... for us.
542
00:19:26,511 --> 00:19:29,463
Yeah, milk, saving families.
What can't breasts do?
543
00:19:29,464 --> 00:19:31,315
Milking the cow!
Milking the cow!
544
00:19:31,399 --> 00:19:33,851
Listen, I'm sorry, Gene,
about everything.
545
00:19:33,852 --> 00:19:36,487
I let the whole TV thing
go to my head.
546
00:19:36,488 --> 00:19:38,055
No, I'm sorry.
547
00:19:38,056 --> 00:19:40,274
This thing turned me
into a monster!
548
00:19:40,275 --> 00:19:43,310
But I'm not a monster!
I'm a real boy!
549
00:19:43,361 --> 00:19:45,729
Come on, Dad! Solidarity!
550
00:19:45,730 --> 00:19:47,114
Oh, God.
551
00:19:47,115 --> 00:19:48,866
Gene, you have let yourself go.
552
00:19:48,867 --> 00:19:50,817
Bobida-boobida- bop-bop-bop-ba!
553
00:19:50,818 --> 00:19:52,503
Ah, okay, well, now,
now we stopped rolling.
554
00:19:52,504 --> 00:19:53,692
So there's no need for you...
555
00:19:53,722 --> 00:19:54,721
Ah, what the hell.
556
00:19:54,723 --> 00:19:56,779
Boobity-boobity-ba-bida-ba.
557
00:19:56,808 --> 00:19:57,696
Ha-ha!
558
00:19:57,742 --> 00:19:59,276
I love you, Dad!
559
00:19:59,277 --> 00:20:02,713
I love you, too, son!
I love you, Pam!
560
00:20:02,714 --> 00:20:05,282
And so,
facing major fines from the FCC,
561
00:20:05,283 --> 00:20:09,253
this long-running talk show
may have had its last word.
562
00:20:09,254 --> 00:20:11,388
Just a little too
titillating.
563
00:20:11,456 --> 00:20:14,158
Well, you two may be regular,
unfamous schmucks now,
564
00:20:14,159 --> 00:20:16,360
but at least
this family's back to normal.
565
00:20:16,428 --> 00:20:17,528
Amen!
You said it!
566
00:20:17,529 --> 00:20:19,279
Single and ready to mingle.
567
00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:21,345
Yeah. And thanks, Lin, for
showing us some perspective.
568
00:20:21,382 --> 00:20:23,784
Among other things.
569
00:20:23,785 --> 00:20:25,652
Show's over, Teddy.
Come on.
570
00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:28,989
Sorry, Lin. It's just, ah, you
imagine something for so long,
571
00:20:28,990 --> 00:20:31,325
and then what you thought
was pink is brown,
572
00:20:31,326 --> 00:20:33,360
and what you thought
was symmetrical is not.
573
00:20:33,361 --> 00:20:35,442
It's just unsettling.
Teddy, please.
574
00:20:35,497 --> 00:20:37,164
Gene, what'd you do with your mask?
575
00:20:37,165 --> 00:20:39,066
Did you throw it in a volcano?
576
00:20:39,067 --> 00:20:41,168
Nah. I gave it back
to Peter Pescadero.
577
00:20:41,169 --> 00:20:43,604
I promised him he would
pop and lock his way
578
00:20:43,605 --> 00:20:45,372
to a better life,
and I did not deliver.
579
00:20:45,373 --> 00:20:47,207
Another child left behind.
580
00:20:47,208 --> 00:20:49,476
Well, it's certainly nice
to have the old Gene back.
581
00:20:49,477 --> 00:20:50,677
What?
582
00:20:50,678 --> 00:20:52,946
I said it's nice to have the old...
583
00:20:52,947 --> 00:20:54,448
It's nice...
584
00:20:54,449 --> 00:20:56,216
Okay, I'm done talking to you.
585
00:20:56,217 --> 00:21:01,636
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
41533
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