All language subtitles for Vegas in Space 1991 DVDRip x264

This is our late night love trip to Vegas in Space

We will be arriving at our
destination very shortly

The weather in Vegas is of course heavenly

We hope you enjoyed flying with us.
We enjoyed serving you.

Now plug yourselves in. We are about to land.

Well we're on our way.

Yeah let's have cocktails.

Yeah let's. I think I'll try this one over here.

Jupiter juice on dry ice. How about you?

Well I guess I'll have the usual

Saturn stinger in a ring goblet.

Yeah that sounds good.

Oh look on the screen. There goes the solar system.

You think we'll ever go back to Earth?

Well you heard what they say...

Once you got to Vegas you never go back.

Is that what they say?
-Uh huh.

Well either way it doesn't matter to me.

Just as long as I'm with you.

Yeah. It doesn't matter to me either.

Hot damn!

Another secret mission off to a smooth start.

-Where to this time Captain?
- hope we meet some far out outer space chicks

I'm sick of monsters.

You'll enjoy this destination boys...

It's the planet Clitoris in the Beaver system.

Wow. The planet of women.

The gal galaxy.

But captain dudes can't go there.
It's a babes only world.

That's one of the earliest pre-fab pleasure planets.

It was put into orbit at the beginning
of the last century.

But now all those planets are falling to pieces.

Why is the Empress sending us there anyway Captain?

You'll find out all about it
from the Empress Vel Croford herself.

Attention!
Attention!

Imperial communique.

“Her Royal Feminesse Vel Croford, Empress of Earth.”

Hail Empress.

Oh good afternoon Captain Tracey.

I wanted to personally wish you
and your brave young space cadets

all the luck in the universe.

What an outfit.

It is with great concern that I
dispatch you on yet another dangerous secret mission.

Only this morning I received an urgent distress
signal from the Empress Nueva Gabor.

Clitorian ruler of the glittering resort complex.
Vegas in Space.

Something terrible is happening there.

Something of universal diplomatic and political import.

Nueva is our strongest ally
in the far flung beaver system.

Her problem is our problem

“But empress. According to the articles of the Venus convention,”

"No males are allowed to touch down on
clitoris,”

Even in the direst emergency.

"That's right, captain. You and your men
will change sex for this undertaking.”

"You will find gender reversal pills in
sick bay, take the pink ones now"

and save the blue ones for your return.

Change sex!? But we only have dude
clothes!

All necessary gear is already aboard.
You will be undercover as traditional

“mid-20th century showgirls, sent by me
to entertain at Nuena's annual off world”

slumber party. Take care of your uniforms.
They're government property.

Sound's like a cinch.

“Beware of Veneer, queen of clitorean
police. She is my sister, but she is evil."

"Good luck, and watch out for meteor
showers.”

What do you think captain?

She looked stunning.

"Yeah, but what about the mission?"

"Yeah, the mission.”

“Don't worry about the mission, guys.
Come on, let's change sex.”

"Steve, Mike, Dick.”

“Uh, captain, you better give me two,
I think I need them."

"I don't know, OK."

Oh my goodness! LT. Hunter! Dick! He
evaporated in the line of duty!

“Hey, we're really foxy chicks.”

"Hot damn! You got a great set of knockers
there Steve, I mean Stephanie.”

"I hate that name. I'll be, Debbie. And
you, you can't be Mike anymore.

We'll call you Sheila.

"And I'll just reverse my name. Goodbye,
captain Dan Tracy,"”

“hello, miss captain Tracy Daniels.”

“Will there be danger, captain? Will it
be safe?"

"Is life safe, Sheila?"

When do we get there?

Let's ask Jane.

Two days and seven hours at present
velocity of plus five.

We've got to be there Saturday for the
party. Jane we need speed. I know!

Let's take an ultra space jump to sector
seven. Hit it Jane.

Now in sector seven.

Warning! warning! Meteor shower!

"Oh, no! Jane! She's gone blond!"

Where are we?

We've been blown off course!

"Oh, no! Not lost in space! Drifting
aimlessly!"

Stop it! We mustn't panic! We'll just
have to fly

the U.S.S. intercourse manually.

Manually? but we're women!

Yes. I know! We'll use our feminine
intuition. Concentrate girls!

Home in on it. Where is Vegas in space?

Where is Vegas in space?

There! That way!

We did it! We're on course and we're
on time.

"We'll be there in a couple of hours.
Here we go, into the pink vortex"

"Gateway to Vegas in space. Oh, my
nails! My hair!"

Let's go touch ourselves up.

“Jane, give me a drag."”

“Love your doo, Debbie.”

"Jane, you can talk!"

"Well, of course.”

Are we there yet?

We will be over the city any minute.

But I've just done my hair.

We're gonna crash.

Hang on!

"Oh, oh, alright!"

"Well, I think I'm alright.”

Is my hair still pretty?

You lost an earring.

Welcome to Vegas in space. I am princess
Angel. Vice empress of clitoris.

I shall escort you personally to the
empress Nueva Gabor herself.

I'm so glad you had a safe touchdown.
Follow me, Walk this way."

"Shirelle, would you please see to it
that our guests' "

sleeping quarters are in order.

You mean that tacky little rat hole in
the basement?

Please.. Allow me to apologize for this
rude display.

"Shirelle, do as I ask.”

"Yes, princess Angel."”

“Follow me, please.”

This is magnificent.

I've never seen anything like it before.

Behold... Vegas in Space! An oasis of
glamour

in a universe of mediocrity.

I can think of worse places to spend a
vacation.

Here comes Empress Nebula's star cruiser
now!

Oh really? How can you tell?

Observe how she's driving. I'd know that
old space bucket

of solenoids anywhere.

"Oh, there's that tired Lala galaxy! Oh and
she's with that”

piss-yellow princess Jaundice! Oh, I think
they saw me!"

Hi noodles!

"Oh hi, honey, how ya doing? Now I gotta
talk to those two tired queens.”

"This place is so crowded with that tired
tourist trade, you can't even”

you can't even find a place to park.. Oh
there's a spot right up ahead.

Why you son of a Venusian dog! Martians
should not be allowed to drive!

Where did you get your driver's
license-plasma world? I'll bet you stole

that star cruiser!

I'm so glad this is only a stopover.
I can't wait to off-world 68!

“Civilization here I come, honey!"

“I'm going to like it here, it's pretty.”

Mmmm-hmm mm!

Where do you get your air and light?

"Girlium. We live rather well, wouldn't
you say, Odessa?"

"Yes, princess Angel."”

“uh, princess, where could I find your
sandbox?"

You'll find a personal waste disposal
unit in the fold of layer three..

We'll meet your friend in the
conversation pit.

" This way girls, stick together, please.
The Vegas in Space complex is a "

“vast, colorful pleasure palace ideally
suited for the vacationing female.”

"There are 25 plastic beauty bars with
skilled glamour technicians, and"

clothing outlets with styles from every
time and space.

Grab Noodles! Meet me at the fashion pit
in 15 minutes.

"Shop, shop, shop! You'd think it were her
first time on Vegas."

So tell us something about your world.

It's so different here.

"Well miss Daniels, Vegas is the capital
of Clitoris, which is the"

largest and most luxurious pleasure
planet in all of sector seven.

"Our Motto--Glamour first, glamour last,
glamour always!"

“It's a sleek new world, for today's
improved woman."

“I'm sorry, we just missed the hologram
haven, where one can experience”

the effects of male stimulation without
the danger of actual contact.

I wouldn't believe it if I didn't see it
with my own two eyes.

So what about your economy? What are
your principle exports.

"Cosmetics, mostly. Since the
legalization of cosmetic enhancers,”

our scientists have been working
non-stop in order to keep up with demand.

"Here they are..Grade A bootleg beauty
boosters, fresh from queen Ven.."

A friends personal stash.

"Unfortunately, a black market has sprung
up.”

"Now don't go pedaling those to no
tourists, either. Those high-tech"

"housewives just can't handle glamour
like we can. Why, I heard two of

them overdosed just last week down on
Saturn Springs.

OH?

"Yeah, overdose Now beat it."

“But thanks to Veneer, our brave queen
of police, we are assured that this"

underground ring is now under control.

Nice.

“Noodles, darling welcome to Vegas in Space.”

Did you have a pleasant flight.

Oh it was hateful.

First my ausolator went flat, then my
girostabilizer went on the fritz."

"Everything dripped out of my purse,
it was going all over the cabin.”

I didn't know which way was up?

That sounds nightmarish.

How are things on Saturn since
my absence?

“Double drag, Honey. Ten satellites,
and each one more boring that the last.”

"And the summers there? They are the worst,
not once did it get above two hundred below."

“Well, let's grab your bags and hit the beach.”

No beaches for me honey. I'm catching
the next shuttle for off-world 68.

You mean to tell me you're not going to
Nueva's tonight?

That dog show? Don't make me hurt you!
That is a tired scene.

“Every year Nueva invites every queen
in the universe, and the only ones who show up are"”

the same old tired people in brand new
tired outfits.

It is a tired scene.

Nueve told me herself she was so looking
forward to seeing you again.

“Believe me honey, she'll live."

"Besides, I want to get a look at
at those showgirls from Earth.”

“Showgirls from Earth? Why, they're right
over there.”

Now you're seen them.

"Showgirls from Earth, huh?"

"Why yes, we are."”

Vegas correspondent - National Orbit.

"So, how does it feel to finally be
playing Vegas?"

"Oh, we're thrilled to be here. I just
love it. Everything is so beautiful.”

“Tracy Daniels and the showgirls from
Earth? To tell you the truth, I never heard of you.”

"Well, we've played every resort spot
in the outer region,”

but I guess this is our first big break.
And tell your readers we're

going to do our darndest to give the Empress'
guests a show they'll never forget.

Good luck.

Thanks.

A woman's paradise! Vegas I love you!

"Oh, my goddess, is that Tracy and the
showgirls?"

Oh my goddess it is.

Tracy will just die when she
finds out she missed this.

Could I get your autograph?

"Why certainly. What's your name, dear?"

It's Zorna! Zorna Virga.
Oh, what a lovely name.”

You mean you're going to sign it
personally?

Why certainly. To Zorna - Gratefully
Tracy Daniels.

“Me too, Tracy! We think you're tops.”

Anything for my dear fans.

I wonder where Sheila is?

Tired.

Not another Earthquake! Oh that
Miss Nueva be trying it. I want her out of town.

What was that?
What was what?

That tremor we barely survived.

I didn't feel a thing.

“Oh Sheila, there you are. Are you alright?"

I don't like this one bit.

Enough questions.

I don't like this captain.

"Well, keep your head Sheila. The Space
Corps is counting on us.”

Attention shoppers! Ye old antique shoppe
on layer 3 has announced reduced

prices for the next sixty seconds on it's
brand new shipment of bean bag chairs!

The clock is ticking! Tick Tock! Tick Tock!

Which way to layer three?

That way! That way!

Welcome.

To Vegas in Space.

I trust you had a pleasant trip.

Thank you princess Angel. That will be
all for now.

The Empress Vel Croford sends her regrets
for not being here herself in person.

We ourselves of course are so looking
forward to performing a traditional mid-20th

century lounge act for you and your
guests tonight.

How thrilling! An old world lounge
act. It will be a welcome distraction from

our present state of scrambled disarray.

Our whole way of life is in Jeopardy.

We're here to help in any way we can.

What exactly is your problem Empress?

“I don't know, everything has gone awry.”

Where do I begin?

This planet is under a lot of stress.

Tremors! Gas fires! Nightmares!

No one has had a nightmare here in
decades until now. And Crime?

It's skyrocketing! I myself am the victim
of a hideous robbery!

My Girlinium Gems have been stolen.

Gems?

All of them?

No. I still had the most important pieces.
But it is imperative that we recover the others.

What is Gorrillium?

That's Girlinium.

Girlinium is a very rare crystal found in the
caverns of the fourth moon of Girl in a.

They have great powers. I use them to help
our planet maintain its delicate orbit surrounding

"our sun. Since the robbery, our orbit has begun
to deteriorate. and seismic disturbance "

have increased.

Quakes?

Only tremors so far.

Vegas residents and all my intergalactic
guests believe its a special effect for my annual

party celebration. Panic must be avoided at all costs.

No one must know of your true mission.
Or of this catastrophe.

Did you call the police?

Our Queen of police Veneer is the prime
suspect. She has been involved in many shady dealings

throughout the cosmos.

Hail Empress.

“Hail, Queen Veneer."

What are these?

“Listen Queen. I know all about you.
You stole the Empress' jewels, didn't you?"

Maybe I did and maybe I didn't.

Cool your jets. These showgirls from Earth
are our royal guests. They will be performing

tonight.

An animal act. How amusing.

"So you lost some jewelry, Empress? Some
Girlinium, I surmise, or else my dear sister wouldn't"

have sent these three stooges here.
You can't get those gems back without my help. I have

a complete dossier on everyone on this
planet. Is the thief still on Clitoris?

“The thief is still here in my palace,”

waiting to steal the remaining Girlinium
Gems tonight at my annual off-world slumber party.

"We'd better act fast. Under the circumstances,
I don't have much choice but to trust you.”

I am willing to ignore my first impression.

You do impressions?

This is no time for levitation!

“You're right, let's be women about it
and work together on this caper. Come on."

Where are we going?
- We'll take a shortcut through the palace. I know lots of good

secret passageways.

So what did my sister say about me? More
lies about how evil I am? Oh we'll just

"duck through here...nice earrings.
Chromo-sensitive, aren't they?"

No they change colors.

Come on.

"Excuse me.
- Not right now, can't you see am watching Another World?"

We interrupt this program to bring you
a special clitorean Intelligence alert.

Candy Farm and Detention Center. The entire
planet is reeling with the shocking news.

What can I do for you girls?

Does this come in my size?

You have got to be kidding. Try the parachute
Pavilion on layer 3.

"We urge all vendors of cheap, poor quality,
low class merchandise to be especially on "

the look out.

Could you recommend a good gift for a
a comatosed shut-in?

Have you heard Princess Angel's new record?
It's simply cosmic. It's full of such

“monster dance hits as ""Hey, Hey, Walk this way'
and ""Go-Go with the flow."™"

“No, it's just not quite what I had in mind."

"Alright you little alien, I caught you.
Police! Police! Come here quick.”

"What is it Wynetta? Well, well. My old
friend, Babs Velour.”

Here's that fugitive everyone's been talking
about. I caught her red-handed trying

to shoplift from this very boutique.

“Fresh off the farm and already up to your
old tricks, eh Babs?"

You can't take me back to that place.

I'll do anything you say, just don't take me
back there. Harvesting that gooey "

cotton candy day after day. Some nights
I couldn't get my fingers unstuck.

It's inhumane. No woman should be subjected
to that kind of treatment.

“Thanks, Wynetta."

Glad to help.

I won't forget this.

I'll bet she's the one who stole the Empress'
Jewels.

How'd you do that?

“I'll tell you about it later, Tracy.
Come on. We've got work to do.”

Simply stunning! So colorful! Just
Just like a picture postcard.

Yes it is from here.

What do you mean?

Without the color dial turned up it's a
different story.

What happened?

"The atmosphere is so thin here it just
won't hold the color by itself,"

so we used the color booster.

Can you turn it back up?

How does this work?

It has something to do with the Gyro-light
reflections. It's very high-tech.

You know some planets out here don't even
have color yet.

And it's only fully operational from
here.

So everything is fake here.

Yes the real world is rather color-
less. You'll see.

Where are you taking me?
-To my personal complex on the dark side of the planet.

There? In these shoes?

We'll just jump through the nearest
transport window. Come on.

Come on Tracy can't you keep up?
I'm trying.

Let me tell you it isn't easy
policing paradise.

I don't know how you do it.
-Someone has to.

Why do you live so far out?

“Nobody bothers me out here. I mean, can
you imagine those palace-bound”

Princess poking their paws outside the
complex unless somebody tricked them?

Here it is.

Is it safe?

Is anything?

So how did you get into crime fighting?

"When my sister became Empress of Earth,
I decided to go into business myself."

But your the queen of police.

"Yes, I can smuggle in anything I want.”

Contraband?

Like to try one of these?

"Drugs? Oh, I never.
-Not drugs..."

What are they?

Beauty pills.

I don't know.

Look at you.

You're a mess. Step into the modern age.

I want you to take this beauty booster.

When on Clitoris...

Thank you.

Doesn't that feel much better?

I never knew it could feel like this.

"Yes, yes. Anyway to make a long story
short, I built myself this "

detention center and called myself
Queen of police. Nobody said a word.

Is there much crime here?

"Only crimes of fashion, darling but enough
to keep me offended and busy.”

Unfortunately there exists a class of
incorrigibles who find it impossible to

to stay within the boundaries of acceptable
taste.

"These are habitual criminals, who are
incarcerated here permanently.”

"Oh I've tried reprogramming and releasing
them, but a week later, they're "

picked up loosing like human garbage.

"Good taste is earned, not learned.
See for yourself."

I'm afraid to look.

"Sounds fascinating, yet repulsive.”

This one is a very sad case. She was
found in one of the caverns near

Nueva's Palace.

Some thrill seeker had been tormenting
her with atomic blasting caps.

"I've tried nearly every for of facial
reconstruction known to woman,"

to no avail. She's lost the will to heal.

Why do you keep her locked up here?

"For her own good, this is a sick
world Tracy."

Who did it?

Isn't that why your job? Isn't that
why your here? Space corps finest.

"Oh, cool your jets. I was just testing you,
I had to be sure. Look "

You think all these things are connected?

Of course they are. I'm convinced only
one person is responsible.

There have been a lot of strange occurrences
after decades of tranquility

Nueva thinks I'm incompetent. Even
you think I'm guilty.

“Arson, theft, physical torture”

“That's an awful lot of crime for a planet
without men, Miss Daniels.”

What about that criminal we picked up at
Plasworld? What does she have to say?

Of course.

Little Babs Velour. Let's give her the
third degree. Shall we?

Drag!

What the.. What is it? She?

"She is a Dragladyte. I discovered her
one day along the Lavendar coast,”

scavenging for something to wear.

The poor thing was a complete mess at
times. She only had three shoes.

"I brought her home, prettied her up at bit
and gave her a job here"

caring for the prisoners.

Where did she come from?

I don't know all that stuff it's
Nueva department. See for yourself.

"Conceivably, Drag's body was frozen solid,
long, long ago. During the”

facial age.

Then as stream currents brought more and
more warmth to the icy atmosphere

"Drag's body thawed out. We now know,
Alien sperm, blue blood cells,”

“bone marrow cells, even eyelash adhesive
can be brought back to life

“after freezing, a state similar to
cryogenic suspension.”

You make it sound so simple.

Come up with a better explanation?

"What I've described to you is Drag's birth,
eons ago in an icy, frozen"

“And now, if you please, her rebirth.”

You mean woman are descended from drag?

That's not so far-fetched. Just look
in the mirror.

There you have it.

"And furthermore, blah, blah, blah.”

Doesn't anything function properly
around here?

“Pardon me Tracy, while I deal with
this hopeless excuse for a woman."”

“Drag, the criminal enlarger, if you please.”

Oh my Goddess.

Get your hand off me.

“That's right Babs. Lash out at a poor,
defenseless creature who can't”

can't even defend herself.

Stop blabbering and take your punishment
like a woman.

Whoever said you can be Queen of Police?

"I said so, Miss Velour..."

You have no right.

That's the way it is.

I'm not afraid of you, you fascist
fashion plate.”

In addition rampant violations of the
fashion code too numerous to mention...

Liar! I'm innocent.

You have been found guilty in participating
in the heisting of the

Neptunes Gems.

I wasn't born rich. Don't I deserve to have
nice things too?

“To top it all off, you've resisted all
attempts at rehabilitation at the cotton”

candy farm.

You can't tell me what to do your
not my mother.

What a capital suggestion. Varian...

“"What are you doing, you can't.”

Vector...veddle...voluminous...

No not my mother. I told her I was
at the library.

“Mrs. Velour, this is Queen Veneer down
here in Vegas in Space.”

We seem to be having a little misunderstanding
with your daughter Babs.

I think you better pop right down here.

"So you're the Queen. Geez, you got
a nice place here.”

Thank you.

Welcome. It kinda looks like a movie
set.

Welcome to the dark side of the
planet. Mrs. Velour.

Where have you been? We're been worried
sick.

I could just die. Someone find me
a crater to crawl into.

Babs has been incarcerated at the
cotton candy farm. Didn't you know?

She's a good girl Queen. You never
tell me a thing.

"I try... I tell you, but ever since I bought her
that souped up”

"star cruiser, she's broken every law of gravity.”

Normally in a case like this you'd
really get it. Luckily for you your

mother was home when I called and so I am
remanding you to her custody.

I'm giving you a second chance Babs
don't louse it up.

I'll see that she doesn't. Things are
gonna be different around here.

"Thank you Queen. I don't care
what anybody says, you're a good woman."

If you're going to steal you should really
steal the best.

This is definitely not the best.

How could you embarrass me like this
in front of the police.

Dragging the good name of velour through
the gutter.

Drag thank you.

What a spoiled brat! Do you think
she's part of the Girlinium connection?

What?

Do you think she stole the Empress'
Jewels?

No. I'm afraid not. She's too stupid
to pull off such a grand scam.

"Oh, I considered it but now I'm convinced
this is an inside job."

Who can it be?

I don't know.

“To tell the truth, I don't know why I
bother.”

This entire planet is falling to pieces
right before my beautiful eyes.

"Nobody sweeps up after the quakes, the
clones are running amok, and”

the tourists? They come here on vacation
and they act like they own

the place. And Nueva? She's a child.

"A little girl, playing Empress. and
Vegas in Space is her toy."

You poor thing. You need a vacation
honey.

If only that were possible. But who
could take over for me here.

Why if I turned my back for one second.
This entire planet would be reduced

to atomic dust.

These fools just don't understand that it's
our responsibility to show

the universe the true role of women in the
cosmic order.

You're right.

Why can't they see that life isn't just an
endless parade of pretty

"dresses, happy hours and slumber parties.
You can't just stumble around”

waiting for your next glamour booster.

"I think your planet is lovely, and whoever
by snatching the Empress™

"Gems has got to be pretty low. Why if I ever
got my hands on her,”

“I'd...I'd..., give her a good talking to."

“I know how you feel, sweetheart, but
you mustn't get yourself so worked up.”

“Well if you're not happy, I'm not happy."

"No, I'm afraid a vacation is out of the
question. Until this case is"

wrapped up and the Girlinium is safely hanging
around the Empress" green neck.

Who are the prime suspects?

Must be someone close to the Empress.

Someone above suspicion...

...someone with a mean streak...

A real she-devil.

No... an angel.

Saint Ann-Margret preserve us.

"We're got to get back to the palace. If I know
her, she'll make a play for "

"the rest of those big rocks tonight. Stand,
back Tracy, I'm about to change.”

Thank you Tracy I couldn't have done it without
you. Now let's

gets out of here. There's not a moment to
waste.

I only have a minute. I can't come to your
soiree. Everything is scrambled

"here. My husband Niggy has stolen all my drag.
My bras, my panties, and"

He steals it all from the dryer.

- Fluid tubes filled?
- check.

- Mood elevator receptacles ready.
Check!

- Ambiance control set!
- Let me see...and the food?

I'm living with a drag thief.

The woman from food tech did not make
it to space way today.

“| told you to prepare everything in
advance. Now, I'm not mad at you, I am "

mad at the Hors D'oeuvres. See that
princess Angel is in readiness. Dismissed.

If he turns up at that party wearing any
of my drag have him killed.

Joan Collins still stunning at three hundred
and thirty-five.

Freeze!

Put that down before you blow someone away.

I almost killed my best friend.

What is going on here?

Sheila started screaming and I though you
were that awful Queen Veneer.

Well I'm not so calm down.

Sheila tell me what happened?

I was dreaming. It was awful. I've never
had a nightmare so vivid.

“So real. You were there, and you were
there, oh, it was awful.”

Calm down it was just a bad dream sequence.

Are you alright now?

Yes I think so.

"Oh Debbie! How daring. A hot coral baby doll
nightie, to show off your”

lovely legs.

“And Sheila is chic tonight in this
filmy, floor-length magenta peignoir.”

You both look so good it almost takes
my breasts away.

“It's our official, government-issue lounging gear.”

Empress Vel thinks of everything. But we
have to get ready for the show.

What's the dish on Veneer?

She's a stunning Queen. She's really nice
you know. And honey she

didn't take those pills. In fact she gave
me something for you girls.

They're beauty pills. I already took mine.
Try one. They're a trip.

Shelia? Now take a beauty pill that's an order.

- Stunning.
- Curious.

There now. Isn't that better? You've had
your beauty booster no it's

time for a moral booster. A little talk.

"Captain to crew. man to man, gal to gal,
chick to chick, you know us."”

We have been sent here on a vital mission.
We can not afford to fail.

The safety of the whole universe depends
upon you and you.

And you too Captain.

"Queen Veneer will be at the soiree tonight,
and I'm counting on you to "

give her your full cooperation.

"-Okey-doke.
- She can count on my full copulation too, sir.”

“Now, Debbie, we mustn't arouse suspicion.
So under the circumstance well whatever”

"happens, don't stop dancing. That's how you
can best save the universe. I have to"

"I have to fix my hair, do my nails and
get ready for the show.”

"We'll rendezvous onstage at the vanity lounge.
Now remember we're showgirls from Earth,"”

so we don't miss our cues. You know
what to do.

“Darling' sweetheart, love your gown
love you in it."

Yes it is a lovely party.

- How's tricks on Uranus?
- no darling that's Saturn.

"That's a lovely gown, it's a shame they didn't
have it in your size."

Thank you queen.

You should see the vanity lounge. It's super
I put in a new antique wood floor.

What asteroid did she fall off of?

See those go-go girls from Earth? They're
really secret agents.

I know!

Well who told you?

Everyone.

Oh my have you ever seen so much glam ore in
one room?

Get those shoes!

Nine planets in twenty days? Never again.

It's got to go.
- My head?

Your do. It had to go.

Many thanks.

Isn't she the sweetest little thing?

Hail Girl in a.

- You woman look hungry. How about a pizza pellet?
-Sure.

She thinks she is the hottest thing in the cosmos.
I hear she eats cobalt balls.

It's Queen Veneer. Sorry darling'.
See you later.

"Pellets, don't you ever have any real food on this
planet?"

It's a crime.

They're super. Thanks.

“Listen, just between the two...three of us
we're secret agents. I used to be a man."”

I have a wiener back home.

What's a wiener?

More trouble than it's worth.

“Golly, I wish our jobs were important.”

“Sounds like you need a career change, girl
The space corps is always looking for a"

few good woman. Why don't you join?

Could we?
-Of course. As soon as we crack this caper wide open.

You can come back to Earth with us. I think
I'll go find some sensible wigs for the trip.

I'll keep my eyes out for suspicious types.

You don't fool around don't you?

"So much fun. Now to work, Let's get out of here
before I have to arrest everyone.”

OK here we are.

Go ahead I'm right behind you.

It stinks in here. Doesn't she ever clean?

"Girls, girls, Girl in as. May I have your
attention. If you'll walk this way, the"

entertainment is about to begin in the mount
Venus vanity lounge.

There's plenty of room for everyone.

This is the most unexceptional room I've ever seen
-You said it Queen.

This act should be priceless.
- You haven't been to a color planet in a while?

"I did expect it to be more elegant.
It is garish, isn't it."

What are you doing?

I have this funny feeling that I'm being
watched.

This is no time for paranoia. We've got
a job to do. Those gems have got to be

“around here someplace. You check that
storage module, be careful, it's wet over”

I'll look for secret compartments. Hurry.
We can't afford to be discovered.

Queens! Empresses and Girl in as. The mount
Venus vanity is proud to present a

woman whose taste - I mean talent
knows of no bounds. Direct to you from Earth

Miss Tracy Daniels.

“Tonight. Tonight we are presenting for you
a traditional, mid-twentieth century lounge act.”

This act really is antique.

“I know for me, tonight will be the most
memorable night of my show biz career.”

Pipe down, you fool do you want to spring
us? Are you mad? "

Do you want every queen and princess at the
slumber party to know we're in here?

That face - it's alive!

The Gems are here I know it.

Did you find anything? That princess angel
thinks she's so clever.

That Princess Angel thinks she's so clever.

“And now, it's traditional to tell a joke.
Here's one I wrote on my trip across the cosmos."”

How many space queens does it take to screw in a
light bulb?

None. This is the 23rd century!
Nobody screws in light bulbs anymore.

My Girlinium detector reads negative.
She must have those gems on her person.

"Oh, that's my spot. I'm supposed to be
onstage!"

Showgirls from Earth.

Alright you. Hand them over.

What were you doing in my room?

Your little game is over. You've been sprung.

“I don't know what you're talking about, you
silly old queen. Besides, what would I want"

with your stinky old gems?

Don't play dumb with me Angel. I want
you to give me back the Girlinium.

I don't have them and you're not getting them back.

Angel.

No. They're mine and you're not getting
them back.

Come back here! Angel!

Leave me alone.

My dress.

Angel? Angel?

I hate you. You're a fake. Blue hair. Try this.

Here I am! Come and get me.

Come down here right now and I promise
you won't be punished.

“You lie, you lie all the time."”

Why are you always at me Whenever I'm having a
good time? Leave me alone.

You stop this nonsense or I'll have you shipped
off to the cotton candy farm.

No!

God damn it! Right in the middle of my number.

"Oh no, you've broken my Princess Angel doll.”

“You're Girlinium, Empress.”

This planet is saved.

So Princess Angel was fake...?

I should have know.

"Tracy, darling, you're a sweetheart to take over
for me here. You don't mind?"

Don't worry about a thing but your skin. The
weather should be perfect on

the Planet Mexico. I'll hold down the fortress.

Thank you.

My sister's turning on.

Have fun on Mexico. I understand you can drink the water
now. And congratulations

“And congratulations, colonel Tracy Daniels.
I'm granting your request for a transfer”

effective immediately. I'm sure you will
find your new duties as acting Queen of

clitorean police and my personal ambassadors
a relaxing and rewarding tour

"of service. And congratulations to my brave
young space cadets, Captain Debbie"

Dane and Major Sheila Shadows. And welcome
aboard privates Odessa and Shirelle.

- I never thought we'd go to Earth.
-Let's go!

Good luck on your next mission.

Hail Empress!

Signing off.

What about me?

"Oh, Jane!"

Sight anyone wearing beige. It's been
swell working undercover with you.

You'll have a ball sneaking around the
cosmos poking your nose into everyone's

“business. Well...Ciao, darlings.”

What a woman.