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1
00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:11,927
Oh, shit, I almost parked.
2
00:00:12,011 --> 00:00:14,138
Hey, Morty, hold on, wat-watch this.
3
00:00:21,604 --> 00:00:22,730
Uh-huh.
4
00:00:22,855 --> 00:00:24,022
Well, I thought it was cool.
5
00:00:24,106 --> 00:00:25,525
So.
We should be in and out.
6
00:00:25,650 --> 00:00:27,151
Simple exchange,
not even really an adventure.
7
00:00:27,235 --> 00:00:29,194
And if anything goes wrong...
Which it won't...
8
00:00:29,278 --> 00:00:30,988
Jump into the same vat of acid
I jump into.
9
00:00:31,072 --> 00:00:32,573
Okay.
Wait... Wait, what?
10
00:00:32,698 --> 00:00:34,158
- Wha-What vat of acid?
- What, Morty!
11
00:00:34,242 --> 00:00:35,409
Close the door.
12
00:00:35,535 --> 00:00:37,078
I pre-scouted this location
13
00:00:37,203 --> 00:00:38,662
and placed a vat of fake acid
amongst the real ones.
14
00:00:38,746 --> 00:00:40,039
It's got air hoses
15
00:00:40,164 --> 00:00:41,457
and a compartment of bones at the bottom.
16
00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:43,208
If things go wrong, which they won't,
17
00:00:43,292 --> 00:00:44,752
we jump into the vat of acid,
18
00:00:44,877 --> 00:00:46,211
and I'll release the bones,
they'll float up...
19
00:00:46,295 --> 00:00:47,838
What is this face you're making?
20
00:00:47,922 --> 00:00:49,507
Aren't you an inventor?
21
00:00:49,632 --> 00:00:51,425
Yeah, what part of a fake acid
vat with built-in air supply
22
00:00:51,509 --> 00:00:53,844
and quick-release bones
isn't inventive enough for you,
23
00:00:53,928 --> 00:00:56,013
and when did my job become
pitching you ideas?
24
00:00:56,097 --> 00:00:57,974
Alright!
Let's just do this.
25
00:00:58,099 --> 00:01:00,267
- I have English homework.
- You're still learning English?
26
00:01:00,351 --> 00:01:01,978
That's the language you speak.
27
00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:03,980
How dumb are you?
28
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:09,443
Interesting choice
of meeting place, Rick.
29
00:01:09,527 --> 00:01:11,227
You like it?
My grandson had notes.
30
00:01:11,320 --> 00:01:13,370
- Come on.
- Show him the crystals, Morty.
31
00:01:18,619 --> 00:01:20,371
I'll make lots of money with these.
32
00:01:20,496 --> 00:01:21,830
I'll make lots of those with these.
33
00:01:21,914 --> 00:01:23,457
- Well. Those are fake.
- Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.
34
00:01:23,541 --> 00:01:24,625
- Come on.
- You gotta be kidding me.
35
00:01:24,709 --> 00:01:25,793
Seriously?
36
00:01:25,918 --> 00:01:27,336
You brought fake crystals and a gun?
37
00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:29,088
Beats real crystals and no gun.
38
00:01:29,213 --> 00:01:32,133
Okay, but does anything beat
fake crystals and a fake arm?
39
00:01:32,258 --> 00:01:34,051
Whoa, do you know who I am?!
40
00:01:34,176 --> 00:01:36,178
Even if you kill me, you're a dead man.
41
00:01:36,304 --> 00:01:37,430
Are you serious?
42
00:01:37,555 --> 00:01:38,889
Morty, he's right.
We're screwed.
43
00:01:38,973 --> 00:01:40,641
Let's just end it.
Quick death, come on.
44
00:01:40,725 --> 00:01:43,769
Aw, man. Oh!
45
00:01:43,894 --> 00:01:45,354
Eh!
46
00:01:45,479 --> 00:01:47,857
Holy shit, what the fuck?
47
00:01:55,364 --> 00:01:56,657
Holy shit.
48
00:01:56,782 --> 00:01:58,409
What kind of psycho...?
49
00:01:58,534 --> 00:02:00,119
His own grandson?
50
00:02:01,537 --> 00:02:03,288
Guess he took your threat pretty serious.
51
00:02:03,372 --> 00:02:04,624
Yeah, but it just
52
00:02:04,749 --> 00:02:06,250
doesn't make any sense.
53
00:02:06,375 --> 00:02:08,210
Well, he was a scientist.
54
00:02:08,336 --> 00:02:09,879
Maybe he knew more about acid,
55
00:02:10,004 --> 00:02:12,465
maybe it's like
the most painless way to go.
56
00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:14,675
How could that have been painless?
57
00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:17,303
You saw that pause
before the bones floated up,
58
00:02:17,428 --> 00:02:20,264
that had to be five seconds
of unparalleled torture.
59
00:02:20,389 --> 00:02:22,558
I...
I can't get my head around it.
60
00:02:22,683 --> 00:02:26,062
I-I thought I'd seen
this galaxy at its darkest.
61
00:02:26,187 --> 00:02:29,273
This is... This is gonna take
a while to feel normal.
62
00:02:29,398 --> 00:02:30,941
We're pretty good listeners, boss.
63
00:02:31,025 --> 00:02:32,734
Drinks are on us
if you want to talk it out.
64
00:02:32,818 --> 00:02:34,111
Thanks, but
65
00:02:34,236 --> 00:02:36,656
what happened, it happened here.
66
00:02:36,781 --> 00:02:37,948
I don't want to lose the moment.
67
00:02:38,032 --> 00:02:39,408
Take your time, boss.
68
00:02:39,533 --> 00:02:40,784
We'll stay here as long as you want.
69
00:02:40,868 --> 00:02:43,204
Absolutely.
I got nowhere to be.
70
00:03:19,198 --> 00:03:20,950
And then little Tommy FlimFlam's
71
00:03:21,075 --> 00:03:22,910
running down the Hyperloop.
72
00:03:23,035 --> 00:03:25,705
His ass is on fire from Xenon fluid,
73
00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:28,708
but his Al hologram
is fuckin' his own pee hole.
74
00:03:30,459 --> 00:03:32,586
- Great story, boss.
- Really detailed.
75
00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:34,714
Yeah, well, I got a million of 'em.
76
00:03:34,839 --> 00:03:36,716
Alright.
77
00:03:36,841 --> 00:03:38,008
I think I'm ready
to deal with the world now.
78
00:03:38,092 --> 00:03:39,218
Let's get out of here.
79
00:03:39,343 --> 00:03:40,677
Should we drop our buddy in here
80
00:03:40,761 --> 00:03:41,679
before we go?
81
00:03:41,804 --> 00:03:43,138
Yeah, probably a good idea.
82
00:03:43,222 --> 00:03:44,932
Should we use a different vat?
83
00:03:45,057 --> 00:03:47,184
Does acid lose its acid power
the more it dissolves?
84
00:03:47,268 --> 00:03:48,602
What am I, an acidologist?
85
00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:50,187
Here, grab that ratlike creature,
86
00:03:50,271 --> 00:03:53,357
we'll do a little test.
87
00:03:53,482 --> 00:03:54,941
Look, if you're going
to test the damn acid,
88
00:03:55,025 --> 00:03:56,318
don't use a rat,
89
00:03:56,444 --> 00:03:57,819
take that ladle, grab a spoonful,
90
00:03:57,903 --> 00:03:59,905
and put it in the analyzer.
91
00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:04,410
- Oh!
- Hey!
92
00:04:04,535 --> 00:04:08,122
Okay, I'd say that's
pretty acidy. Drop him in.
93
00:04:09,457 --> 00:04:11,000
What are you doing?
94
00:04:11,125 --> 00:04:12,417
- You said...
- Not the rat!
95
00:04:12,501 --> 00:04:13,753
The guy!
96
00:04:13,878 --> 00:04:15,755
Ooh! Marone!
97
00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:17,839
Look at the size
of the bones on that rat!
98
00:04:17,923 --> 00:04:19,216
Oh!
99
00:04:19,341 --> 00:04:20,926
How many sets of bones this rat got?
100
00:04:21,010 --> 00:04:22,761
And look how the smaller ones are shaped!
101
00:04:22,845 --> 00:04:24,429
They're like little cartoon bones,
102
00:04:24,513 --> 00:04:26,557
like if you drew a bone in art class!
103
00:04:26,682 --> 00:04:27,850
Alright, that tears it.
104
00:04:27,975 --> 00:04:29,434
I'm canceling the rest of my night
105
00:04:29,518 --> 00:04:30,968
and calling a bone scientist.
106
00:04:31,061 --> 00:04:32,270
We're getting to the bottom of this...
107
00:04:32,354 --> 00:04:34,315
Jesus fucking Christ, enough already!
108
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:35,733
- Hey!
- Whoa!
109
00:04:53,167 --> 00:04:55,753
Can we go?
110
00:04:58,172 --> 00:04:59,464
The fuck is wrong with you?
111
00:04:59,548 --> 00:05:00,924
Just admit it was a shitty idea!
112
00:05:01,008 --> 00:05:02,218
Having a grandson?
113
00:05:02,343 --> 00:05:03,844
A vat of fake acid!
114
00:05:03,969 --> 00:05:05,262
Are you dying of dementia?
115
00:05:05,346 --> 00:05:06,513
How are you talking to me like this?
116
00:05:06,597 --> 00:05:07,973
Wh-When did you get so cocky?
117
00:05:08,057 --> 00:05:09,433
Tonight!
Tonight, Rick!
118
00:05:09,558 --> 00:05:10,808
The night I saw you fail!
119
00:05:10,893 --> 00:05:12,686
- Because you ruined it!
- It was pre-ruined!
120
00:05:12,770 --> 00:05:14,479
Oh, was it worse than
when I was a pickle?
121
00:05:14,563 --> 00:05:16,273
Oh-oh-oh that's right,
you weren't there for that.
122
00:05:16,357 --> 00:05:17,817
Turned out kind of cool.
123
00:05:17,942 --> 00:05:19,484
- Maybe there's
a connection there.
- Excuse me?
124
00:05:19,568 --> 00:05:21,486
What's that cool thing
you did without me again?
125
00:05:21,570 --> 00:05:22,696
The awesome thing?
126
00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:24,657
I-I-I guess you wanted a dragon?
127
00:05:24,782 --> 00:05:26,075
Mwah. Unforgettable.
128
00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:27,368
God, fuck you.
129
00:05:27,493 --> 00:05:28,869
Timely, too, you really got in on that
130
00:05:28,953 --> 00:05:30,412
"Game of Thrones" fever
right at the peak.
131
00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:32,330
You trying as hard
as you can to hurt me right now
132
00:05:32,414 --> 00:05:33,707
proves my point.
133
00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:35,333
I'll let you know when you have a point
134
00:05:35,417 --> 00:05:37,502
and the world will know
when I try to hurt you.
135
00:05:37,586 --> 00:05:40,089
Big man, big genius.
Big lonely drunk.
136
00:05:40,214 --> 00:05:42,299
Hey, save some of these
atomic-age beatnik zingers
137
00:05:42,383 --> 00:05:44,183
for your English homework, Bukowski.
138
00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:48,096
There's no such thing
as a bad idea, Morty.
139
00:05:48,180 --> 00:05:50,015
It's about execution.
140
00:05:52,268 --> 00:05:53,560
No such thing as a bad idea?
141
00:05:53,644 --> 00:05:55,271
Except all of mine, right?
142
00:05:55,396 --> 00:05:57,296
Morty, wanting a dragon isn't an idea.
143
00:05:57,398 --> 00:05:58,648
I'm not talking about that!
144
00:05:58,732 --> 00:06:00,732
I'm constantly pitching you ideas, Rick,
145
00:06:00,818 --> 00:06:02,319
and you act like they're
not even worth thinking about!
146
00:06:02,403 --> 00:06:03,862
What, the helicopter lawn chair?
147
00:06:03,946 --> 00:06:05,405
That's just something you saw on TV.
148
00:06:05,489 --> 00:06:07,989
What about my video-game-style
place-saving device?
149
00:06:08,075 --> 00:06:11,287
Oh, my God, here we go.
150
00:06:11,412 --> 00:06:13,538
It's a good idea, Rick!
A device that lets you...
151
00:06:13,622 --> 00:06:14,956
Save your place like in a video game
152
00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:16,541
but in real life
so that you can try stuff
153
00:06:16,625 --> 00:06:17,959
and then go back to your save point,
154
00:06:18,043 --> 00:06:19,743
yes, Morty,
I saw it on "Futurama."
155
00:06:19,837 --> 00:06:21,713
Oh, so you don't do anything
unless it's original?
156
00:06:21,797 --> 00:06:23,340
I don't do time travel.
157
00:06:23,465 --> 00:06:24,966
It's not time travel,
it's saving a place in time...
158
00:06:25,050 --> 00:06:27,136
Oh, my God, is this what you think I do?
159
00:06:27,261 --> 00:06:29,346
This is where the heavy lifting
happens in your mind?
160
00:06:29,430 --> 00:06:30,889
Do you have any idea
how much fucking work
161
00:06:30,973 --> 00:06:32,349
would have to go into a machine that...
162
00:06:32,433 --> 00:06:34,184
Ah-ha!
You can't do it!
163
00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:36,729
I can do anything, Morty.
164
00:06:36,854 --> 00:06:38,647
Your idea is not worth doing.
165
00:06:38,772 --> 00:06:40,190
You can't do it.
166
00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:42,192
Before what you're trying to do
was called "negging,"
167
00:06:42,276 --> 00:06:43,985
it was called "reverse psychology,"
168
00:06:44,069 --> 00:06:46,363
and incels didn't invent it,
Bugs Bunny did.
169
00:06:46,488 --> 00:06:49,074
- You can't do it.
- There is nothing I cannot do.
170
00:06:49,199 --> 00:06:50,158
A place-saving video-game thing!
171
00:06:50,242 --> 00:06:51,284
You're a piece of shit!
172
00:06:51,368 --> 00:06:52,869
- Just say you can't do it!
- I won't!
173
00:06:52,953 --> 00:06:54,163
You won't say you can't?
174
00:06:54,288 --> 00:06:55,580
- Fuck you, Morty!
- Fuck you!
175
00:06:55,664 --> 00:06:57,750
Fuck you!
176
00:06:57,875 --> 00:06:59,460
Son of a bitch.
177
00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:06,064
- So are you gonna...
- Yes, I'm gonna fucking do it!
178
00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:08,886
Rick, it's 3:00 a.m.
179
00:07:09,011 --> 00:07:10,929
Wh-Wh-What's going on?
W-Why'd you call me?
180
00:07:11,013 --> 00:07:12,723
You were right, Morty.
181
00:07:12,848 --> 00:07:14,266
I failed.
I can't make it.
182
00:07:14,391 --> 00:07:15,976
And honestly, I'm pretty ashamed.
183
00:07:16,060 --> 00:07:17,769
That might be why I've been
so aggressive and unfair
184
00:07:17,853 --> 00:07:19,145
about rejecting your ideas.
185
00:07:19,229 --> 00:07:21,106
- Rick...
- A fake acid vat, Morty?
186
00:07:21,231 --> 00:07:23,149
Maybe I've lost it.
Maybe I never had it.
187
00:07:23,233 --> 00:07:24,943
Hey. C'mon. Y-You know
I didn't mean it that way.
188
00:07:25,027 --> 00:07:27,070
I just think we need to find
better ways to communicate.
189
00:07:27,154 --> 00:07:28,864
I'm sorry. I just...
I lash out sometimes.
190
00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:31,241
I-I-I don't know why I do that!
I'm so ashamed of myself.
191
00:07:31,325 --> 00:07:32,492
Hearing you talk about the vat
192
00:07:32,576 --> 00:07:34,036
it really opened my eyes.
193
00:07:34,161 --> 00:07:35,328
Like what the fuck am I even doing?
194
00:07:35,412 --> 00:07:36,580
Hey. Hey.
I don't like hearing this talk.
195
00:07:36,664 --> 00:07:37,864
You're a great inventor.
196
00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:39,374
We just got a couple things to work on.
197
00:07:39,458 --> 00:07:41,167
Let's start with inventing
a little honesty.
198
00:07:41,251 --> 00:07:42,169
Sound good?
199
00:07:42,294 --> 00:07:43,587
Thank you, Morty.
Sounds good.
200
00:07:43,671 --> 00:07:44,963
- Or maybe I'll just kill you.
- What?
201
00:07:45,047 --> 00:07:46,882
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Rick...
202
00:07:49,885 --> 00:07:52,137
- Because I fucking did it!
- Oh-ho-ho!
203
00:07:52,262 --> 00:07:53,681
- Booya!
- Holy shit!
204
00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:54,932
You did it!
You did it!
205
00:07:55,057 --> 00:07:55,974
I did it, you little son of a bitch!
206
00:07:56,058 --> 00:07:57,184
How did you...
207
00:07:57,309 --> 00:07:58,518
Morty, do you want me to explain,
208
00:07:58,602 --> 00:08:00,020
- or you wanna go have some fun?
- I wanna have some fun!
209
00:08:00,104 --> 00:08:01,355
Oh, my God.
210
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:03,189
Rick, this is... this is... thank you!
211
00:08:03,273 --> 00:08:04,566
You can thank me later.
Go nuts.
212
00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:05,776
Best grandpa ever!
213
00:08:05,901 --> 00:08:07,551
That's all I ever wanted to hear.
214
00:08:09,530 --> 00:08:11,115
Alright, class,
215
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:12,824
I know I've been absent
for most of this school year.
216
00:08:12,908 --> 00:08:14,701
I'll be honest with you...
During spring break,
217
00:08:14,785 --> 00:08:16,495
I attended a renaissance faire
218
00:08:16,620 --> 00:08:19,748
and fell in love with a buxom
hand-axe juggler half my age.
219
00:08:19,873 --> 00:08:21,666
I overplayed my interest in her lifestyle
220
00:08:21,750 --> 00:08:23,001
just to get closer to her,
221
00:08:23,085 --> 00:08:24,794
traveling the country with her troupe,
222
00:08:24,878 --> 00:08:27,547
and I am embarrassed to say
I am now an expert blacksmith
223
00:08:27,631 --> 00:08:29,758
with several STDs and a broken heart.
224
00:08:29,883 --> 00:08:31,426
I beseech your nasty little asses
225
00:08:31,510 --> 00:08:33,210
to speak on the matter no further.
226
00:08:33,303 --> 00:08:35,805
Now that that's out of the way,
who wants to do some math?
227
00:08:35,889 --> 00:08:37,933
- I'll do it.
- A bold move, Morty Smith.
228
00:08:38,058 --> 00:08:39,226
But can you deliver?
229
00:08:39,351 --> 00:08:40,852
Oh, I've got something to deliver.
230
00:08:40,936 --> 00:08:42,938
Ahh!
Oh, God.
231
00:08:43,063 --> 00:08:44,273
What the hell!
232
00:08:44,398 --> 00:08:46,066
Aw, goddamnit, this is traumatizing.
233
00:08:46,150 --> 00:08:48,152
Oh, my God, what's wrong with your dick?
234
00:08:48,277 --> 00:08:50,237
- Not cool.
- I'm allergic to sheepskin!
235
00:08:50,362 --> 00:08:52,740
Bold move, Morty Smith.
But can you deliver?
236
00:08:52,865 --> 00:08:54,366
Holy shit.
I can do anything.
237
00:08:54,491 --> 00:08:56,410
Yes, with math, anything is possible.
238
00:08:56,535 --> 00:08:58,119
Except a long-term relationship
with a woman
239
00:08:58,203 --> 00:09:00,706
that calls you a warlock
for using a phone.
240
00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:05,461
Hi, uh, hey, Jessica.
241
00:09:05,586 --> 00:09:07,504
Oh.
Hey, Morty.
242
00:09:09,923 --> 00:09:11,592
Hey...
Jessica, right?
243
00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:13,886
Um. Yeah.
Hi. Sorry.
244
00:09:14,011 --> 00:09:15,220
I thought you knew my name
245
00:09:15,304 --> 00:09:16,638
because we've interacted so many times,
246
00:09:16,722 --> 00:09:18,682
but maybe I was just being stupid.
247
00:09:18,807 --> 00:09:21,018
Sorry. Hi.
I-I'm Jessica. That's me.
248
00:09:21,143 --> 00:09:22,269
Cool.
See you around.
249
00:09:22,394 --> 00:09:23,853
Jessica. Yeah.
I hope I see you.
250
00:09:23,937 --> 00:09:25,814
- Around.
- Guess we'll see.
251
00:09:27,649 --> 00:09:29,234
I think I'm gonna like this thing.
252
00:09:29,318 --> 00:09:34,823
♪ It's in the way
that you use it ♪
253
00:09:34,948 --> 00:09:39,036
♪ It comes and it goes ♪
254
00:09:39,161 --> 00:09:44,625
♪ It's in the way
that you use it ♪
255
00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:47,836
♪ Boy, don't you know ♪
256
00:09:47,961 --> 00:09:54,051
♪ And if you lie,
you will lose it ♪
257
00:09:54,176 --> 00:09:58,055
♪ Feelings will show ♪
258
00:09:58,180 --> 00:10:03,644
♪ So don't you ever abuse it ♪
259
00:10:03,769 --> 00:10:07,356
♪ Don't let it go ♪
260
00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:11,860
Oh shit!
Suicide by cop!
261
00:10:11,985 --> 00:10:13,445
I love these!
262
00:10:13,570 --> 00:10:17,991
♪ Nobody's weak
until somebody's strong ♪
263
00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:19,660
You're living too fast, Morty.
264
00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:21,703
I don't pay for your friendship,
Heroin Keith.
265
00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:23,163
Damn.
266
00:10:23,288 --> 00:10:26,250
♪ Nobody's lonely
until somebody's gone ♪
267
00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:31,588
♪ It's in the way
that you use it ♪
268
00:10:31,713 --> 00:10:35,926
♪ It comes and it goes ♪
269
00:10:36,051 --> 00:10:41,682
♪ It's in the way
that you use it ♪
270
00:10:41,807 --> 00:10:44,893
♪ Boy, don't you know ♪
271
00:10:45,018 --> 00:10:51,108
♪ It's in the way
that you use it ♪
272
00:10:51,233 --> 00:10:55,529
♪ It comes and it goes ♪
273
00:10:55,654 --> 00:10:58,949
♪ It's in the way
that you use it ♪
274
00:14:16,563 --> 00:14:21,693
♪ It's in the way
that you use it ♪
275
00:14:21,818 --> 00:14:25,864
♪ It comes and it goes ♪
276
00:14:25,989 --> 00:14:31,119
♪ It's in the way
that you use it ♪
277
00:14:31,244 --> 00:14:35,123
♪ Boy, don't you know ♪
278
00:14:35,248 --> 00:14:40,712
♪ And if you lie,
you will lose it ♪
279
00:14:40,837 --> 00:14:44,883
♪ Feelings will show ♪
280
00:14:45,008 --> 00:14:50,555
♪ So don't you ever abuse it ♪
281
00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:55,352
♪ Don't let it go ♪
282
00:14:55,477 --> 00:14:56,895
♪ Nobody's right ♪
283
00:14:59,272 --> 00:15:00,732
Oh, hi, Jessica.
284
00:15:00,857 --> 00:15:02,150
Hey, I'm sorry I brushed you off
the other day.
285
00:15:02,234 --> 00:15:03,735
I was just trying to be cool...
286
00:15:03,819 --> 00:15:05,236
Oh, I don't even know
what you're talking about.
287
00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:07,155
But...
you seem different.
288
00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:08,573
Like you finally found yourself.
289
00:15:08,657 --> 00:15:10,158
Yeah.
I... I guess I have.
290
00:15:10,283 --> 00:15:12,619
That's good to hear.
I like who you found.
291
00:15:12,744 --> 00:15:14,538
Yeah.
Yeah, I do, too.
292
00:15:14,663 --> 00:15:16,873
Looking forward to seeing more.
293
00:15:16,998 --> 00:15:18,207
I'll see you tomorrow, Morty.
294
00:15:18,291 --> 00:15:20,544
Yeah.
Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow.
295
00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:27,300
How's it going?
296
00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:28,843
Y'know, it was fun, Rick.
Real fun.
297
00:15:28,927 --> 00:15:30,678
Y'know I-I-I definitely sowed those oats.
298
00:15:30,762 --> 00:15:31,972
But I think you invented
299
00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:33,947
a little lesson for me along the way.
300
00:15:34,057 --> 00:15:35,433
Living without consequences is great,
301
00:15:35,517 --> 00:15:36,809
but then I started wondering
302
00:15:36,893 --> 00:15:38,145
what am I living for?
303
00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:39,729
What am I building?
304
00:15:39,855 --> 00:15:41,522
If I'm always looking back,
I'm never looking ahead.
305
00:15:41,606 --> 00:15:42,858
And then it hit me.
306
00:15:42,983 --> 00:15:45,152
We are who we are
because of consequences.
307
00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:47,427
You can't live
without consequences, y'know?
308
00:15:47,529 --> 00:15:48,697
You feel me?
309
00:15:48,822 --> 00:15:50,991
Wow.
310
00:15:51,116 --> 00:15:53,743
That's a beautiful thought,
Morty, but, uh, no.
311
00:15:53,869 --> 00:15:55,536
There were definitely consequences.
312
00:15:55,620 --> 00:15:56,871
What're-What-What are you talking about?
313
00:15:56,955 --> 00:15:58,790
I mean.
You did everything you did.
314
00:15:58,915 --> 00:16:00,083
It all happened.
315
00:16:00,208 --> 00:16:01,459
No.
But the... the respawn button.
316
00:16:01,543 --> 00:16:03,628
- The... The do-over.
- It's not a do-over.
317
00:16:03,712 --> 00:16:05,505
You just did it.
Over and over.
318
00:16:05,630 --> 00:16:07,256
What are you saying?
W-What did you do?
319
00:16:07,340 --> 00:16:09,342
I think it's more appropriate
to ask what did you do?
320
00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:11,094
You see, Morty, you weren't
saving your place
321
00:16:11,178 --> 00:16:12,387
and going back.
322
00:16:12,512 --> 00:16:13,972
I don't respect time travel.
323
00:16:14,097 --> 00:16:16,682
If "Ant Man and the Wasp"
can do it, I'm not interested.
324
00:16:16,766 --> 00:16:18,059
It wasn't so much a do-over
325
00:16:18,143 --> 00:16:19,352
as it was isolating a moment in time,
326
00:16:19,436 --> 00:16:20,853
splitting your probable selves,
327
00:16:20,937 --> 00:16:22,647
and shunting you into
to into a near-duplicate,
328
00:16:22,731 --> 00:16:25,233
equally probable reality,
transporting you into it
329
00:16:25,358 --> 00:16:27,110
at the moment of parallel determination.
330
00:16:27,194 --> 00:16:29,487
Pretty nifty. Time crystals
are a bitch and a half,
331
00:16:29,571 --> 00:16:32,324
but the only real hitch is that
there was already a you
332
00:16:32,449 --> 00:16:33,658
in each probable dimension.
333
00:16:33,742 --> 00:16:35,368
So we had to solve for that.
334
00:16:40,790 --> 00:16:42,125
That's right, you little bitch!
335
00:16:42,209 --> 00:16:44,085
It's "The Prestige"!
You "Prestige'd" yourself!
336
00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:46,129
- Rick, how many did I kill?
- You tell me, Morty.
337
00:16:46,213 --> 00:16:48,381
Every time you reset
to smell Jessica's hair,
338
00:16:48,465 --> 00:16:50,717
every time you relived a satisfying fart,
339
00:16:50,842 --> 00:16:52,510
that's how many Mortys
you've incinerated,
340
00:16:52,594 --> 00:16:53,887
you greedy little junkie.
341
00:16:54,012 --> 00:16:55,972
Oh, God... even those times when I...
342
00:16:56,097 --> 00:16:57,849
Especially those times.
343
00:16:57,974 --> 00:16:59,726
It's over, Morty. Feel this.
344
00:16:59,851 --> 00:17:01,353
Take this in.
This is God.
345
00:17:01,478 --> 00:17:03,312
Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh... Why would you do this?
346
00:17:03,396 --> 00:17:05,696
My hands are clean, Morty.
I gave you a choice.
347
00:17:05,815 --> 00:17:07,233
You could listen to me explain,
348
00:17:07,317 --> 00:17:09,653
in great scientific detail,
how it all works,
349
00:17:09,778 --> 00:17:10,904
or you could have fun.
350
00:17:11,029 --> 00:17:12,196
Did you have fun, Morty?
351
00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:13,823
Is this because of the vat?
352
00:17:13,949 --> 00:17:15,492
- No.
- I'm sorry.
353
00:17:15,617 --> 00:17:16,993
I'm afraid it's too late for that, Morty.
354
00:17:17,077 --> 00:17:19,246
What's done is done, but it can end.
355
00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:21,330
The original split is still timestamped.
356
00:17:21,414 --> 00:17:23,624
I can make it so those Mortys
never existed at all,
357
00:17:23,708 --> 00:17:24,876
make them purely theoretical.
358
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:26,211
Oh, God.
What do I do?
359
00:17:26,336 --> 00:17:27,795
I think it's clear you've done enough.
360
00:17:27,879 --> 00:17:30,214
Tell me how, Rick!
Tell me how I save those Mortys!
361
00:17:30,298 --> 00:17:31,466
You live with the consequences.
362
00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:32,800
Those things happened somewhere,
363
00:17:32,884 --> 00:17:34,719
but you can merge the probable realities
364
00:17:34,803 --> 00:17:36,403
so that only one Morty did them.
365
00:17:36,513 --> 00:17:37,639
Just do it.
366
00:17:37,764 --> 00:17:39,182
Alright, lemme just sync these up
367
00:17:39,266 --> 00:17:40,558
and get you back to your dimension.
368
00:17:40,642 --> 00:17:42,518
Wait, so... so you're not even my Rick?
369
00:17:42,602 --> 00:17:44,061
Then... Then why do you know
about the vat?
370
00:17:44,145 --> 00:17:45,313
Every Rick has a vat!
371
00:17:55,782 --> 00:17:57,033
Well, Morty, I'd say
372
00:17:57,158 --> 00:17:59,327
we've invented a little honesty today.
373
00:17:59,452 --> 00:18:00,828
- How about you?
- I don't deserve this.
374
00:18:00,912 --> 00:18:02,038
I was just having fun.
375
00:18:02,163 --> 00:18:03,331
So was Jeffrey Dahmer.
376
00:18:03,456 --> 00:18:05,333
Speaking of, time to pay the piper.
377
00:18:07,335 --> 00:18:09,921
Morty Smith.
378
00:18:10,046 --> 00:18:12,340
Come out with your hands up,
you sick fuck.
379
00:18:12,465 --> 00:18:14,175
We're also fine with just shooting you
380
00:18:14,259 --> 00:18:15,885
if you wanna suicide by cop.
381
00:18:16,011 --> 00:18:17,137
What?
What is this?
382
00:18:17,262 --> 00:18:18,612
Wow.
Looks like a SWAT Team,
383
00:18:18,722 --> 00:18:20,015
some drug dealers,
384
00:18:20,140 --> 00:18:22,934
some grassroots #MeToo activists,
the ACLU...
385
00:18:23,059 --> 00:18:24,686
Jesus, Morty, the AARP?
386
00:18:24,811 --> 00:18:27,396
- I don't wanna talk about it!
- The NAACP, GamerGate...
387
00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:30,317
Morty, is that Supreme Court
Justice Sonia Sotomayor?
388
00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:31,901
I'm sorry!
I... I'm sorry!
389
00:18:32,027 --> 00:18:33,402
I-Is that what you want me to say?
390
00:18:33,486 --> 00:18:35,780
- What... What do I do?
- Oof, well, I'm stumped.
391
00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:37,865
Seems like there's no way
out of this one.
392
00:18:37,949 --> 00:18:39,075
Unless...
393
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:40,577
God damn it.
394
00:18:40,702 --> 00:18:42,787
Yeah, I guess it is, uh...
What did you call it?
395
00:18:42,871 --> 00:18:44,956
Uh, uh, "A shitty idea"?
396
00:18:45,081 --> 00:18:47,167
- God damn it.
- Say the vat is good.
397
00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:49,127
The vat is good.
398
00:18:49,252 --> 00:18:51,087
Kiss the vat.
399
00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:54,758
Do not go into that vat.
400
00:18:54,883 --> 00:18:56,760
It appears to be full of acid.
401
00:18:56,885 --> 00:18:58,762
It is!
Please, he's just a little boy!
402
00:18:58,887 --> 00:19:01,180
- Let me talk to him.
- Tell him we're very upset!
403
00:19:01,264 --> 00:19:02,474
Morty, please.
Step back.
404
00:19:02,599 --> 00:19:03,975
That vat is full of acid.
405
00:19:04,100 --> 00:19:06,519
It'll melt you completely,
leaving only your bones.
406
00:19:06,603 --> 00:19:08,104
- Goddamn it!
- I'm sorry, what did you say?
407
00:19:08,188 --> 00:19:09,314
I'm going in the vat!
408
00:19:12,150 --> 00:19:15,403
Oh! God!
Aw, I blame myself!
409
00:19:15,528 --> 00:19:17,030
Oh, what a tragedy.
410
00:19:17,155 --> 00:19:19,324
This... Oh, well, he's bones now.
411
00:19:19,449 --> 00:19:20,616
I guess all debts are paid.
412
00:19:20,700 --> 00:19:22,410
Agreed.
He's definitely dead.
413
00:19:22,535 --> 00:19:24,788
Why else would the bones come up?
414
00:19:24,913 --> 00:19:26,623
While his actions were horrifying
415
00:19:26,748 --> 00:19:29,417
and we are well within
our rights to be outraged,
416
00:19:29,542 --> 00:19:31,795
I do wonder if we bear
some responsibility
417
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:34,172
for this young man
melting himself in acid.
418
00:19:34,297 --> 00:19:36,841
Are we here for justice...
or something else?
419
00:19:36,966 --> 00:19:40,053
"Though justice be thy plea,
consider this,
420
00:19:40,178 --> 00:19:42,263
that in the course of justice
421
00:19:42,389 --> 00:19:44,808
none of us should see salvation.
422
00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:46,476
We do pray for mercy."
423
00:19:46,601 --> 00:19:47,951
"Merchant of Venice," nice.
424
00:19:48,061 --> 00:19:49,478
Very cool.
Lots to think about.
425
00:19:49,562 --> 00:19:51,480
Vengeance is a tomb, all-encompassing...
426
00:19:51,564 --> 00:19:54,651
Alright, okay, this isn't a
poetry reading, a kid just died.
427
00:19:54,776 --> 00:19:58,196
Every... Everybody go home and
hug your loved one or something.
428
00:20:03,159 --> 00:20:04,327
Wait.
429
00:20:04,452 --> 00:20:05,828
How do we know that's really acid
430
00:20:05,912 --> 00:20:07,663
and you didn't just have
someone's bones in there?
431
00:20:07,747 --> 00:20:09,290
I mean, if you're doubting
if that's really acid
432
00:20:09,374 --> 00:20:10,958
and not just Jacuzzi-heated Mountain Dew,
433
00:20:11,042 --> 00:20:12,460
you're welcome to use this ladle.
434
00:20:12,544 --> 00:20:14,462
You think I'm a goddamn idiot?
435
00:20:14,587 --> 00:20:16,589
Brought my own.
436
00:20:21,302 --> 00:20:22,595
Aah!
437
00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:23,847
Oh, God!
Oh, God no!
438
00:20:23,972 --> 00:20:25,432
Oh, God, no!
Oh, no... Huh?
439
00:20:25,557 --> 00:20:27,142
I'm acid-proof!
440
00:20:27,267 --> 00:20:29,102
Fuck all of you, fuck all of you,
441
00:20:29,227 --> 00:20:30,478
I'm gonna be rich!
442
00:20:30,603 --> 00:20:31,813
Here's my ass.
443
00:20:31,938 --> 00:20:33,732
Take a good look, spank it!
444
00:20:33,857 --> 00:20:35,316
Acid proof!
445
00:20:35,442 --> 00:20:38,319
Feels like that guy
had other stuff going on.
446
00:20:38,445 --> 00:20:40,697
Don't ever make fun of me again.
447
00:20:40,822 --> 00:20:42,866
Ever!
448
00:20:42,991 --> 00:20:44,408
Alright, c'mon Morty, let's go home.
449
00:20:44,492 --> 00:20:46,160
Wait, what?
This... This isn't our reality?
450
00:20:46,244 --> 00:20:47,536
What, you think I'd waste our home
451
00:20:47,620 --> 00:20:49,164
teaching you a fucking lesson?
452
00:20:49,289 --> 00:20:51,082
I am gonna miss this place, though...
453
00:20:51,166 --> 00:20:52,917
Johnny Carson's still alive
and on the air,
454
00:20:53,001 --> 00:20:54,252
9/11 never happened,
455
00:20:54,377 --> 00:20:55,795
and Rocky Road ice cream
has peanut butter
456
00:20:55,879 --> 00:20:57,713
- instead of marshmallows.
- The fu... What?
457
00:20:57,797 --> 00:20:58,964
The marshmallows are the best part!
458
00:20:59,048 --> 00:21:00,633
Morty...
459
00:21:37,712 --> 00:21:39,422
Our next guest, ah, gave us,
460
00:21:39,547 --> 00:21:41,132
well, actually, very little information,
461
00:21:41,216 --> 00:21:45,386
ah, besides the fact that he is,
uh, impervious to acid.
462
00:21:45,512 --> 00:21:47,388
So here he is, he's here to prove it.
463
00:21:47,514 --> 00:21:50,350
Let's welcome this guy.
464
00:21:50,475 --> 00:21:51,810
Let's do this shit!
465
00:21:51,935 --> 00:21:53,102
Now, you're, uh...
You're sure about this?
466
00:21:53,186 --> 00:21:54,395
Eat my ass!
Hoist me!
467
00:21:54,521 --> 00:21:57,732
I did not know that ass was on the menu.
468
00:21:57,857 --> 00:21:59,359
Don't steal my moment!
Do it!
469
00:21:59,484 --> 00:22:03,154
Ah, okay, then without
further ado... drop him.
470
00:22:03,279 --> 00:22:04,572
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah!
471
00:22:04,697 --> 00:22:06,574
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah!
472
00:22:18,753 --> 00:22:21,422
Looks like I'll be eating ass flambé.
473
00:22:23,383 --> 00:22:24,509
Please kill me.
34854
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