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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:11,927 Oh, shit, I almost parked. 2 00:00:12,011 --> 00:00:14,138 Hey, Morty, hold on, wat-watch this. 3 00:00:21,604 --> 00:00:22,730 Uh-huh. 4 00:00:22,855 --> 00:00:24,022 Well, I thought it was cool. 5 00:00:24,106 --> 00:00:25,525 So. We should be in and out. 6 00:00:25,650 --> 00:00:27,151 Simple exchange, not even really an adventure. 7 00:00:27,235 --> 00:00:29,194 And if anything goes wrong... Which it won't... 8 00:00:29,278 --> 00:00:30,988 Jump into the same vat of acid I jump into. 9 00:00:31,072 --> 00:00:32,573 Okay. Wait... Wait, what? 10 00:00:32,698 --> 00:00:34,158 - Wha-What vat of acid? - What, Morty! 11 00:00:34,242 --> 00:00:35,409 Close the door. 12 00:00:35,535 --> 00:00:37,078 I pre-scouted this location 13 00:00:37,203 --> 00:00:38,662 and placed a vat of fake acid amongst the real ones. 14 00:00:38,746 --> 00:00:40,039 It's got air hoses 15 00:00:40,164 --> 00:00:41,457 and a compartment of bones at the bottom. 16 00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:43,208 If things go wrong, which they won't, 17 00:00:43,292 --> 00:00:44,752 we jump into the vat of acid, 18 00:00:44,877 --> 00:00:46,211 and I'll release the bones, they'll float up... 19 00:00:46,295 --> 00:00:47,838 What is this face you're making? 20 00:00:47,922 --> 00:00:49,507 Aren't you an inventor? 21 00:00:49,632 --> 00:00:51,425 Yeah, what part of a fake acid vat with built-in air supply 22 00:00:51,509 --> 00:00:53,844 and quick-release bones isn't inventive enough for you, 23 00:00:53,928 --> 00:00:56,013 and when did my job become pitching you ideas? 24 00:00:56,097 --> 00:00:57,974 Alright! Let's just do this. 25 00:00:58,099 --> 00:01:00,267 - I have English homework. - You're still learning English? 26 00:01:00,351 --> 00:01:01,978 That's the language you speak. 27 00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:03,980 How dumb are you? 28 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:09,443 Interesting choice of meeting place, Rick. 29 00:01:09,527 --> 00:01:11,227 You like it? My grandson had notes. 30 00:01:11,320 --> 00:01:13,370 - Come on. - Show him the crystals, Morty. 31 00:01:18,619 --> 00:01:20,371 I'll make lots of money with these. 32 00:01:20,496 --> 00:01:21,830 I'll make lots of those with these. 33 00:01:21,914 --> 00:01:23,457 - Well. Those are fake. - Oh, Jesus fucking Christ. 34 00:01:23,541 --> 00:01:24,625 - Come on. - You gotta be kidding me. 35 00:01:24,709 --> 00:01:25,793 Seriously? 36 00:01:25,918 --> 00:01:27,336 You brought fake crystals and a gun? 37 00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:29,088 Beats real crystals and no gun. 38 00:01:29,213 --> 00:01:32,133 Okay, but does anything beat fake crystals and a fake arm? 39 00:01:32,258 --> 00:01:34,051 Whoa, do you know who I am?! 40 00:01:34,176 --> 00:01:36,178 Even if you kill me, you're a dead man. 41 00:01:36,304 --> 00:01:37,430 Are you serious? 42 00:01:37,555 --> 00:01:38,889 Morty, he's right. We're screwed. 43 00:01:38,973 --> 00:01:40,641 Let's just end it. Quick death, come on. 44 00:01:40,725 --> 00:01:43,769 Aw, man. Oh! 45 00:01:43,894 --> 00:01:45,354 Eh! 46 00:01:45,479 --> 00:01:47,857 Holy shit, what the fuck? 47 00:01:55,364 --> 00:01:56,657 Holy shit. 48 00:01:56,782 --> 00:01:58,409 What kind of psycho...? 49 00:01:58,534 --> 00:02:00,119 His own grandson? 50 00:02:01,537 --> 00:02:03,288 Guess he took your threat pretty serious. 51 00:02:03,372 --> 00:02:04,624 Yeah, but it just 52 00:02:04,749 --> 00:02:06,250 doesn't make any sense. 53 00:02:06,375 --> 00:02:08,210 Well, he was a scientist. 54 00:02:08,336 --> 00:02:09,879 Maybe he knew more about acid, 55 00:02:10,004 --> 00:02:12,465 maybe it's like the most painless way to go. 56 00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:14,675 How could that have been painless? 57 00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:17,303 You saw that pause before the bones floated up, 58 00:02:17,428 --> 00:02:20,264 that had to be five seconds of unparalleled torture. 59 00:02:20,389 --> 00:02:22,558 I... I can't get my head around it. 60 00:02:22,683 --> 00:02:26,062 I-I thought I'd seen this galaxy at its darkest. 61 00:02:26,187 --> 00:02:29,273 This is... This is gonna take a while to feel normal. 62 00:02:29,398 --> 00:02:30,941 We're pretty good listeners, boss. 63 00:02:31,025 --> 00:02:32,734 Drinks are on us if you want to talk it out. 64 00:02:32,818 --> 00:02:34,111 Thanks, but 65 00:02:34,236 --> 00:02:36,656 what happened, it happened here. 66 00:02:36,781 --> 00:02:37,948 I don't want to lose the moment. 67 00:02:38,032 --> 00:02:39,408 Take your time, boss. 68 00:02:39,533 --> 00:02:40,784 We'll stay here as long as you want. 69 00:02:40,868 --> 00:02:43,204 Absolutely. I got nowhere to be. 70 00:03:19,198 --> 00:03:20,950 And then little Tommy FlimFlam's 71 00:03:21,075 --> 00:03:22,910 running down the Hyperloop. 72 00:03:23,035 --> 00:03:25,705 His ass is on fire from Xenon fluid, 73 00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:28,708 but his Al hologram is fuckin' his own pee hole. 74 00:03:30,459 --> 00:03:32,586 - Great story, boss. - Really detailed. 75 00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:34,714 Yeah, well, I got a million of 'em. 76 00:03:34,839 --> 00:03:36,716 Alright. 77 00:03:36,841 --> 00:03:38,008 I think I'm ready to deal with the world now. 78 00:03:38,092 --> 00:03:39,218 Let's get out of here. 79 00:03:39,343 --> 00:03:40,677 Should we drop our buddy in here 80 00:03:40,761 --> 00:03:41,679 before we go? 81 00:03:41,804 --> 00:03:43,138 Yeah, probably a good idea. 82 00:03:43,222 --> 00:03:44,932 Should we use a different vat? 83 00:03:45,057 --> 00:03:47,184 Does acid lose its acid power the more it dissolves? 84 00:03:47,268 --> 00:03:48,602 What am I, an acidologist? 85 00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:50,187 Here, grab that ratlike creature, 86 00:03:50,271 --> 00:03:53,357 we'll do a little test. 87 00:03:53,482 --> 00:03:54,941 Look, if you're going to test the damn acid, 88 00:03:55,025 --> 00:03:56,318 don't use a rat, 89 00:03:56,444 --> 00:03:57,819 take that ladle, grab a spoonful, 90 00:03:57,903 --> 00:03:59,905 and put it in the analyzer. 91 00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:04,410 - Oh! - Hey! 92 00:04:04,535 --> 00:04:08,122 Okay, I'd say that's pretty acidy. Drop him in. 93 00:04:09,457 --> 00:04:11,000 What are you doing? 94 00:04:11,125 --> 00:04:12,417 - You said... - Not the rat! 95 00:04:12,501 --> 00:04:13,753 The guy! 96 00:04:13,878 --> 00:04:15,755 Ooh! Marone! 97 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:17,839 Look at the size of the bones on that rat! 98 00:04:17,923 --> 00:04:19,216 Oh! 99 00:04:19,341 --> 00:04:20,926 How many sets of bones this rat got? 100 00:04:21,010 --> 00:04:22,761 And look how the smaller ones are shaped! 101 00:04:22,845 --> 00:04:24,429 They're like little cartoon bones, 102 00:04:24,513 --> 00:04:26,557 like if you drew a bone in art class! 103 00:04:26,682 --> 00:04:27,850 Alright, that tears it. 104 00:04:27,975 --> 00:04:29,434 I'm canceling the rest of my night 105 00:04:29,518 --> 00:04:30,968 and calling a bone scientist. 106 00:04:31,061 --> 00:04:32,270 We're getting to the bottom of this... 107 00:04:32,354 --> 00:04:34,315 Jesus fucking Christ, enough already! 108 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:35,733 - Hey! - Whoa! 109 00:04:53,167 --> 00:04:55,753 Can we go? 110 00:04:58,172 --> 00:04:59,464 The fuck is wrong with you? 111 00:04:59,548 --> 00:05:00,924 Just admit it was a shitty idea! 112 00:05:01,008 --> 00:05:02,218 Having a grandson? 113 00:05:02,343 --> 00:05:03,844 A vat of fake acid! 114 00:05:03,969 --> 00:05:05,262 Are you dying of dementia? 115 00:05:05,346 --> 00:05:06,513 How are you talking to me like this? 116 00:05:06,597 --> 00:05:07,973 Wh-When did you get so cocky? 117 00:05:08,057 --> 00:05:09,433 Tonight! Tonight, Rick! 118 00:05:09,558 --> 00:05:10,808 The night I saw you fail! 119 00:05:10,893 --> 00:05:12,686 - Because you ruined it! - It was pre-ruined! 120 00:05:12,770 --> 00:05:14,479 Oh, was it worse than when I was a pickle? 121 00:05:14,563 --> 00:05:16,273 Oh-oh-oh that's right, you weren't there for that. 122 00:05:16,357 --> 00:05:17,817 Turned out kind of cool. 123 00:05:17,942 --> 00:05:19,484 - Maybe there's a connection there. - Excuse me? 124 00:05:19,568 --> 00:05:21,486 What's that cool thing you did without me again? 125 00:05:21,570 --> 00:05:22,696 The awesome thing? 126 00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:24,657 I-I-I guess you wanted a dragon? 127 00:05:24,782 --> 00:05:26,075 Mwah. Unforgettable. 128 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:27,368 God, fuck you. 129 00:05:27,493 --> 00:05:28,869 Timely, too, you really got in on that 130 00:05:28,953 --> 00:05:30,412 "Game of Thrones" fever right at the peak. 131 00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:32,330 You trying as hard as you can to hurt me right now 132 00:05:32,414 --> 00:05:33,707 proves my point. 133 00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:35,333 I'll let you know when you have a point 134 00:05:35,417 --> 00:05:37,502 and the world will know when I try to hurt you. 135 00:05:37,586 --> 00:05:40,089 Big man, big genius. Big lonely drunk. 136 00:05:40,214 --> 00:05:42,299 Hey, save some of these atomic-age beatnik zingers 137 00:05:42,383 --> 00:05:44,183 for your English homework, Bukowski. 138 00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:48,096 There's no such thing as a bad idea, Morty. 139 00:05:48,180 --> 00:05:50,015 It's about execution. 140 00:05:52,268 --> 00:05:53,560 No such thing as a bad idea? 141 00:05:53,644 --> 00:05:55,271 Except all of mine, right? 142 00:05:55,396 --> 00:05:57,296 Morty, wanting a dragon isn't an idea. 143 00:05:57,398 --> 00:05:58,648 I'm not talking about that! 144 00:05:58,732 --> 00:06:00,732 I'm constantly pitching you ideas, Rick, 145 00:06:00,818 --> 00:06:02,319 and you act like they're not even worth thinking about! 146 00:06:02,403 --> 00:06:03,862 What, the helicopter lawn chair? 147 00:06:03,946 --> 00:06:05,405 That's just something you saw on TV. 148 00:06:05,489 --> 00:06:07,989 What about my video-game-style place-saving device? 149 00:06:08,075 --> 00:06:11,287 Oh, my God, here we go. 150 00:06:11,412 --> 00:06:13,538 It's a good idea, Rick! A device that lets you... 151 00:06:13,622 --> 00:06:14,956 Save your place like in a video game 152 00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:16,541 but in real life so that you can try stuff 153 00:06:16,625 --> 00:06:17,959 and then go back to your save point, 154 00:06:18,043 --> 00:06:19,743 yes, Morty, I saw it on "Futurama." 155 00:06:19,837 --> 00:06:21,713 Oh, so you don't do anything unless it's original? 156 00:06:21,797 --> 00:06:23,340 I don't do time travel. 157 00:06:23,465 --> 00:06:24,966 It's not time travel, it's saving a place in time... 158 00:06:25,050 --> 00:06:27,136 Oh, my God, is this what you think I do? 159 00:06:27,261 --> 00:06:29,346 This is where the heavy lifting happens in your mind? 160 00:06:29,430 --> 00:06:30,889 Do you have any idea how much fucking work 161 00:06:30,973 --> 00:06:32,349 would have to go into a machine that... 162 00:06:32,433 --> 00:06:34,184 Ah-ha! You can't do it! 163 00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:36,729 I can do anything, Morty. 164 00:06:36,854 --> 00:06:38,647 Your idea is not worth doing. 165 00:06:38,772 --> 00:06:40,190 You can't do it. 166 00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:42,192 Before what you're trying to do was called "negging," 167 00:06:42,276 --> 00:06:43,985 it was called "reverse psychology," 168 00:06:44,069 --> 00:06:46,363 and incels didn't invent it, Bugs Bunny did. 169 00:06:46,488 --> 00:06:49,074 - You can't do it. - There is nothing I cannot do. 170 00:06:49,199 --> 00:06:50,158 A place-saving video-game thing! 171 00:06:50,242 --> 00:06:51,284 You're a piece of shit! 172 00:06:51,368 --> 00:06:52,869 - Just say you can't do it! - I won't! 173 00:06:52,953 --> 00:06:54,163 You won't say you can't? 174 00:06:54,288 --> 00:06:55,580 - Fuck you, Morty! - Fuck you! 175 00:06:55,664 --> 00:06:57,750 Fuck you! 176 00:06:57,875 --> 00:06:59,460 Son of a bitch. 177 00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:06,064 - So are you gonna... - Yes, I'm gonna fucking do it! 178 00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:08,886 Rick, it's 3:00 a.m. 179 00:07:09,011 --> 00:07:10,929 Wh-Wh-What's going on? W-Why'd you call me? 180 00:07:11,013 --> 00:07:12,723 You were right, Morty. 181 00:07:12,848 --> 00:07:14,266 I failed. I can't make it. 182 00:07:14,391 --> 00:07:15,976 And honestly, I'm pretty ashamed. 183 00:07:16,060 --> 00:07:17,769 That might be why I've been so aggressive and unfair 184 00:07:17,853 --> 00:07:19,145 about rejecting your ideas. 185 00:07:19,229 --> 00:07:21,106 - Rick... - A fake acid vat, Morty? 186 00:07:21,231 --> 00:07:23,149 Maybe I've lost it. Maybe I never had it. 187 00:07:23,233 --> 00:07:24,943 Hey. C'mon. Y-You know I didn't mean it that way. 188 00:07:25,027 --> 00:07:27,070 I just think we need to find better ways to communicate. 189 00:07:27,154 --> 00:07:28,864 I'm sorry. I just... I lash out sometimes. 190 00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:31,241 I-I-I don't know why I do that! I'm so ashamed of myself. 191 00:07:31,325 --> 00:07:32,492 Hearing you talk about the vat 192 00:07:32,576 --> 00:07:34,036 it really opened my eyes. 193 00:07:34,161 --> 00:07:35,328 Like what the fuck am I even doing? 194 00:07:35,412 --> 00:07:36,580 Hey. Hey. I don't like hearing this talk. 195 00:07:36,664 --> 00:07:37,864 You're a great inventor. 196 00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:39,374 We just got a couple things to work on. 197 00:07:39,458 --> 00:07:41,167 Let's start with inventing a little honesty. 198 00:07:41,251 --> 00:07:42,169 Sound good? 199 00:07:42,294 --> 00:07:43,587 Thank you, Morty. Sounds good. 200 00:07:43,671 --> 00:07:44,963 - Or maybe I'll just kill you. - What? 201 00:07:45,047 --> 00:07:46,882 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Rick... 202 00:07:49,885 --> 00:07:52,137 - Because I fucking did it! - Oh-ho-ho! 203 00:07:52,262 --> 00:07:53,681 - Booya! - Holy shit! 204 00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:54,932 You did it! You did it! 205 00:07:55,057 --> 00:07:55,974 I did it, you little son of a bitch! 206 00:07:56,058 --> 00:07:57,184 How did you... 207 00:07:57,309 --> 00:07:58,518 Morty, do you want me to explain, 208 00:07:58,602 --> 00:08:00,020 - or you wanna go have some fun? - I wanna have some fun! 209 00:08:00,104 --> 00:08:01,355 Oh, my God. 210 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:03,189 Rick, this is... this is... thank you! 211 00:08:03,273 --> 00:08:04,566 You can thank me later. Go nuts. 212 00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:05,776 Best grandpa ever! 213 00:08:05,901 --> 00:08:07,551 That's all I ever wanted to hear. 214 00:08:09,530 --> 00:08:11,115 Alright, class, 215 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:12,824 I know I've been absent for most of this school year. 216 00:08:12,908 --> 00:08:14,701 I'll be honest with you... During spring break, 217 00:08:14,785 --> 00:08:16,495 I attended a renaissance faire 218 00:08:16,620 --> 00:08:19,748 and fell in love with a buxom hand-axe juggler half my age. 219 00:08:19,873 --> 00:08:21,666 I overplayed my interest in her lifestyle 220 00:08:21,750 --> 00:08:23,001 just to get closer to her, 221 00:08:23,085 --> 00:08:24,794 traveling the country with her troupe, 222 00:08:24,878 --> 00:08:27,547 and I am embarrassed to say I am now an expert blacksmith 223 00:08:27,631 --> 00:08:29,758 with several STDs and a broken heart. 224 00:08:29,883 --> 00:08:31,426 I beseech your nasty little asses 225 00:08:31,510 --> 00:08:33,210 to speak on the matter no further. 226 00:08:33,303 --> 00:08:35,805 Now that that's out of the way, who wants to do some math? 227 00:08:35,889 --> 00:08:37,933 - I'll do it. - A bold move, Morty Smith. 228 00:08:38,058 --> 00:08:39,226 But can you deliver? 229 00:08:39,351 --> 00:08:40,852 Oh, I've got something to deliver. 230 00:08:40,936 --> 00:08:42,938 Ahh! Oh, God. 231 00:08:43,063 --> 00:08:44,273 What the hell! 232 00:08:44,398 --> 00:08:46,066 Aw, goddamnit, this is traumatizing. 233 00:08:46,150 --> 00:08:48,152 Oh, my God, what's wrong with your dick? 234 00:08:48,277 --> 00:08:50,237 - Not cool. - I'm allergic to sheepskin! 235 00:08:50,362 --> 00:08:52,740 Bold move, Morty Smith. But can you deliver? 236 00:08:52,865 --> 00:08:54,366 Holy shit. I can do anything. 237 00:08:54,491 --> 00:08:56,410 Yes, with math, anything is possible. 238 00:08:56,535 --> 00:08:58,119 Except a long-term relationship with a woman 239 00:08:58,203 --> 00:09:00,706 that calls you a warlock for using a phone. 240 00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:05,461 Hi, uh, hey, Jessica. 241 00:09:05,586 --> 00:09:07,504 Oh. Hey, Morty. 242 00:09:09,923 --> 00:09:11,592 Hey... Jessica, right? 243 00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:13,886 Um. Yeah. Hi. Sorry. 244 00:09:14,011 --> 00:09:15,220 I thought you knew my name 245 00:09:15,304 --> 00:09:16,638 because we've interacted so many times, 246 00:09:16,722 --> 00:09:18,682 but maybe I was just being stupid. 247 00:09:18,807 --> 00:09:21,018 Sorry. Hi. I-I'm Jessica. That's me. 248 00:09:21,143 --> 00:09:22,269 Cool. See you around. 249 00:09:22,394 --> 00:09:23,853 Jessica. Yeah. I hope I see you. 250 00:09:23,937 --> 00:09:25,814 - Around. - Guess we'll see. 251 00:09:27,649 --> 00:09:29,234 I think I'm gonna like this thing. 252 00:09:29,318 --> 00:09:34,823 ♪ It's in the way that you use it ♪ 253 00:09:34,948 --> 00:09:39,036 ♪ It comes and it goes ♪ 254 00:09:39,161 --> 00:09:44,625 ♪ It's in the way that you use it ♪ 255 00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:47,836 ♪ Boy, don't you know ♪ 256 00:09:47,961 --> 00:09:54,051 ♪ And if you lie, you will lose it ♪ 257 00:09:54,176 --> 00:09:58,055 ♪ Feelings will show ♪ 258 00:09:58,180 --> 00:10:03,644 ♪ So don't you ever abuse it ♪ 259 00:10:03,769 --> 00:10:07,356 ♪ Don't let it go ♪ 260 00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:11,860 Oh shit! Suicide by cop! 261 00:10:11,985 --> 00:10:13,445 I love these! 262 00:10:13,570 --> 00:10:17,991 ♪ Nobody's weak until somebody's strong ♪ 263 00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:19,660 You're living too fast, Morty. 264 00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:21,703 I don't pay for your friendship, Heroin Keith. 265 00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:23,163 Damn. 266 00:10:23,288 --> 00:10:26,250 ♪ Nobody's lonely until somebody's gone ♪ 267 00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:31,588 ♪ It's in the way that you use it ♪ 268 00:10:31,713 --> 00:10:35,926 ♪ It comes and it goes ♪ 269 00:10:36,051 --> 00:10:41,682 ♪ It's in the way that you use it ♪ 270 00:10:41,807 --> 00:10:44,893 ♪ Boy, don't you know ♪ 271 00:10:45,018 --> 00:10:51,108 ♪ It's in the way that you use it ♪ 272 00:10:51,233 --> 00:10:55,529 ♪ It comes and it goes ♪ 273 00:10:55,654 --> 00:10:58,949 ♪ It's in the way that you use it ♪ 274 00:14:16,563 --> 00:14:21,693 ♪ It's in the way that you use it ♪ 275 00:14:21,818 --> 00:14:25,864 ♪ It comes and it goes ♪ 276 00:14:25,989 --> 00:14:31,119 ♪ It's in the way that you use it ♪ 277 00:14:31,244 --> 00:14:35,123 ♪ Boy, don't you know ♪ 278 00:14:35,248 --> 00:14:40,712 ♪ And if you lie, you will lose it ♪ 279 00:14:40,837 --> 00:14:44,883 ♪ Feelings will show ♪ 280 00:14:45,008 --> 00:14:50,555 ♪ So don't you ever abuse it ♪ 281 00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:55,352 ♪ Don't let it go ♪ 282 00:14:55,477 --> 00:14:56,895 ♪ Nobody's right ♪ 283 00:14:59,272 --> 00:15:00,732 Oh, hi, Jessica. 284 00:15:00,857 --> 00:15:02,150 Hey, I'm sorry I brushed you off the other day. 285 00:15:02,234 --> 00:15:03,735 I was just trying to be cool... 286 00:15:03,819 --> 00:15:05,236 Oh, I don't even know what you're talking about. 287 00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:07,155 But... you seem different. 288 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:08,573 Like you finally found yourself. 289 00:15:08,657 --> 00:15:10,158 Yeah. I... I guess I have. 290 00:15:10,283 --> 00:15:12,619 That's good to hear. I like who you found. 291 00:15:12,744 --> 00:15:14,538 Yeah. Yeah, I do, too. 292 00:15:14,663 --> 00:15:16,873 Looking forward to seeing more. 293 00:15:16,998 --> 00:15:18,207 I'll see you tomorrow, Morty. 294 00:15:18,291 --> 00:15:20,544 Yeah. Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow. 295 00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:27,300 How's it going? 296 00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:28,843 Y'know, it was fun, Rick. Real fun. 297 00:15:28,927 --> 00:15:30,678 Y'know I-I-I definitely sowed those oats. 298 00:15:30,762 --> 00:15:31,972 But I think you invented 299 00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:33,947 a little lesson for me along the way. 300 00:15:34,057 --> 00:15:35,433 Living without consequences is great, 301 00:15:35,517 --> 00:15:36,809 but then I started wondering 302 00:15:36,893 --> 00:15:38,145 what am I living for? 303 00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:39,729 What am I building? 304 00:15:39,855 --> 00:15:41,522 If I'm always looking back, I'm never looking ahead. 305 00:15:41,606 --> 00:15:42,858 And then it hit me. 306 00:15:42,983 --> 00:15:45,152 We are who we are because of consequences. 307 00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:47,427 You can't live without consequences, y'know? 308 00:15:47,529 --> 00:15:48,697 You feel me? 309 00:15:48,822 --> 00:15:50,991 Wow. 310 00:15:51,116 --> 00:15:53,743 That's a beautiful thought, Morty, but, uh, no. 311 00:15:53,869 --> 00:15:55,536 There were definitely consequences. 312 00:15:55,620 --> 00:15:56,871 What're-What-What are you talking about? 313 00:15:56,955 --> 00:15:58,790 I mean. You did everything you did. 314 00:15:58,915 --> 00:16:00,083 It all happened. 315 00:16:00,208 --> 00:16:01,459 No. But the... the respawn button. 316 00:16:01,543 --> 00:16:03,628 - The... The do-over. - It's not a do-over. 317 00:16:03,712 --> 00:16:05,505 You just did it. Over and over. 318 00:16:05,630 --> 00:16:07,256 What are you saying? W-What did you do? 319 00:16:07,340 --> 00:16:09,342 I think it's more appropriate to ask what did you do? 320 00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:11,094 You see, Morty, you weren't saving your place 321 00:16:11,178 --> 00:16:12,387 and going back. 322 00:16:12,512 --> 00:16:13,972 I don't respect time travel. 323 00:16:14,097 --> 00:16:16,682 If "Ant Man and the Wasp" can do it, I'm not interested. 324 00:16:16,766 --> 00:16:18,059 It wasn't so much a do-over 325 00:16:18,143 --> 00:16:19,352 as it was isolating a moment in time, 326 00:16:19,436 --> 00:16:20,853 splitting your probable selves, 327 00:16:20,937 --> 00:16:22,647 and shunting you into to into a near-duplicate, 328 00:16:22,731 --> 00:16:25,233 equally probable reality, transporting you into it 329 00:16:25,358 --> 00:16:27,110 at the moment of parallel determination. 330 00:16:27,194 --> 00:16:29,487 Pretty nifty. Time crystals are a bitch and a half, 331 00:16:29,571 --> 00:16:32,324 but the only real hitch is that there was already a you 332 00:16:32,449 --> 00:16:33,658 in each probable dimension. 333 00:16:33,742 --> 00:16:35,368 So we had to solve for that. 334 00:16:40,790 --> 00:16:42,125 That's right, you little bitch! 335 00:16:42,209 --> 00:16:44,085 It's "The Prestige"! You "Prestige'd" yourself! 336 00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:46,129 - Rick, how many did I kill? - You tell me, Morty. 337 00:16:46,213 --> 00:16:48,381 Every time you reset to smell Jessica's hair, 338 00:16:48,465 --> 00:16:50,717 every time you relived a satisfying fart, 339 00:16:50,842 --> 00:16:52,510 that's how many Mortys you've incinerated, 340 00:16:52,594 --> 00:16:53,887 you greedy little junkie. 341 00:16:54,012 --> 00:16:55,972 Oh, God... even those times when I... 342 00:16:56,097 --> 00:16:57,849 Especially those times. 343 00:16:57,974 --> 00:16:59,726 It's over, Morty. Feel this. 344 00:16:59,851 --> 00:17:01,353 Take this in. This is God. 345 00:17:01,478 --> 00:17:03,312 Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh... Why would you do this? 346 00:17:03,396 --> 00:17:05,696 My hands are clean, Morty. I gave you a choice. 347 00:17:05,815 --> 00:17:07,233 You could listen to me explain, 348 00:17:07,317 --> 00:17:09,653 in great scientific detail, how it all works, 349 00:17:09,778 --> 00:17:10,904 or you could have fun. 350 00:17:11,029 --> 00:17:12,196 Did you have fun, Morty? 351 00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:13,823 Is this because of the vat? 352 00:17:13,949 --> 00:17:15,492 - No. - I'm sorry. 353 00:17:15,617 --> 00:17:16,993 I'm afraid it's too late for that, Morty. 354 00:17:17,077 --> 00:17:19,246 What's done is done, but it can end. 355 00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:21,330 The original split is still timestamped. 356 00:17:21,414 --> 00:17:23,624 I can make it so those Mortys never existed at all, 357 00:17:23,708 --> 00:17:24,876 make them purely theoretical. 358 00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:26,211 Oh, God. What do I do? 359 00:17:26,336 --> 00:17:27,795 I think it's clear you've done enough. 360 00:17:27,879 --> 00:17:30,214 Tell me how, Rick! Tell me how I save those Mortys! 361 00:17:30,298 --> 00:17:31,466 You live with the consequences. 362 00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:32,800 Those things happened somewhere, 363 00:17:32,884 --> 00:17:34,719 but you can merge the probable realities 364 00:17:34,803 --> 00:17:36,403 so that only one Morty did them. 365 00:17:36,513 --> 00:17:37,639 Just do it. 366 00:17:37,764 --> 00:17:39,182 Alright, lemme just sync these up 367 00:17:39,266 --> 00:17:40,558 and get you back to your dimension. 368 00:17:40,642 --> 00:17:42,518 Wait, so... so you're not even my Rick? 369 00:17:42,602 --> 00:17:44,061 Then... Then why do you know about the vat? 370 00:17:44,145 --> 00:17:45,313 Every Rick has a vat! 371 00:17:55,782 --> 00:17:57,033 Well, Morty, I'd say 372 00:17:57,158 --> 00:17:59,327 we've invented a little honesty today. 373 00:17:59,452 --> 00:18:00,828 - How about you? - I don't deserve this. 374 00:18:00,912 --> 00:18:02,038 I was just having fun. 375 00:18:02,163 --> 00:18:03,331 So was Jeffrey Dahmer. 376 00:18:03,456 --> 00:18:05,333 Speaking of, time to pay the piper. 377 00:18:07,335 --> 00:18:09,921 Morty Smith. 378 00:18:10,046 --> 00:18:12,340 Come out with your hands up, you sick fuck. 379 00:18:12,465 --> 00:18:14,175 We're also fine with just shooting you 380 00:18:14,259 --> 00:18:15,885 if you wanna suicide by cop. 381 00:18:16,011 --> 00:18:17,137 What? What is this? 382 00:18:17,262 --> 00:18:18,612 Wow. Looks like a SWAT Team, 383 00:18:18,722 --> 00:18:20,015 some drug dealers, 384 00:18:20,140 --> 00:18:22,934 some grassroots #MeToo activists, the ACLU... 385 00:18:23,059 --> 00:18:24,686 Jesus, Morty, the AARP? 386 00:18:24,811 --> 00:18:27,396 - I don't wanna talk about it! - The NAACP, GamerGate... 387 00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:30,317 Morty, is that Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor? 388 00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:31,901 I'm sorry! I... I'm sorry! 389 00:18:32,027 --> 00:18:33,402 I-Is that what you want me to say? 390 00:18:33,486 --> 00:18:35,780 - What... What do I do? - Oof, well, I'm stumped. 391 00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:37,865 Seems like there's no way out of this one. 392 00:18:37,949 --> 00:18:39,075 Unless... 393 00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:40,577 God damn it. 394 00:18:40,702 --> 00:18:42,787 Yeah, I guess it is, uh... What did you call it? 395 00:18:42,871 --> 00:18:44,956 Uh, uh, "A shitty idea"? 396 00:18:45,081 --> 00:18:47,167 - God damn it. - Say the vat is good. 397 00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:49,127 The vat is good. 398 00:18:49,252 --> 00:18:51,087 Kiss the vat. 399 00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:54,758 Do not go into that vat. 400 00:18:54,883 --> 00:18:56,760 It appears to be full of acid. 401 00:18:56,885 --> 00:18:58,762 It is! Please, he's just a little boy! 402 00:18:58,887 --> 00:19:01,180 - Let me talk to him. - Tell him we're very upset! 403 00:19:01,264 --> 00:19:02,474 Morty, please. Step back. 404 00:19:02,599 --> 00:19:03,975 That vat is full of acid. 405 00:19:04,100 --> 00:19:06,519 It'll melt you completely, leaving only your bones. 406 00:19:06,603 --> 00:19:08,104 - Goddamn it! - I'm sorry, what did you say? 407 00:19:08,188 --> 00:19:09,314 I'm going in the vat! 408 00:19:12,150 --> 00:19:15,403 Oh! God! Aw, I blame myself! 409 00:19:15,528 --> 00:19:17,030 Oh, what a tragedy. 410 00:19:17,155 --> 00:19:19,324 This... Oh, well, he's bones now. 411 00:19:19,449 --> 00:19:20,616 I guess all debts are paid. 412 00:19:20,700 --> 00:19:22,410 Agreed. He's definitely dead. 413 00:19:22,535 --> 00:19:24,788 Why else would the bones come up? 414 00:19:24,913 --> 00:19:26,623 While his actions were horrifying 415 00:19:26,748 --> 00:19:29,417 and we are well within our rights to be outraged, 416 00:19:29,542 --> 00:19:31,795 I do wonder if we bear some responsibility 417 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:34,172 for this young man melting himself in acid. 418 00:19:34,297 --> 00:19:36,841 Are we here for justice... or something else? 419 00:19:36,966 --> 00:19:40,053 "Though justice be thy plea, consider this, 420 00:19:40,178 --> 00:19:42,263 that in the course of justice 421 00:19:42,389 --> 00:19:44,808 none of us should see salvation. 422 00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:46,476 We do pray for mercy." 423 00:19:46,601 --> 00:19:47,951 "Merchant of Venice," nice. 424 00:19:48,061 --> 00:19:49,478 Very cool. Lots to think about. 425 00:19:49,562 --> 00:19:51,480 Vengeance is a tomb, all-encompassing... 426 00:19:51,564 --> 00:19:54,651 Alright, okay, this isn't a poetry reading, a kid just died. 427 00:19:54,776 --> 00:19:58,196 Every... Everybody go home and hug your loved one or something. 428 00:20:03,159 --> 00:20:04,327 Wait. 429 00:20:04,452 --> 00:20:05,828 How do we know that's really acid 430 00:20:05,912 --> 00:20:07,663 and you didn't just have someone's bones in there? 431 00:20:07,747 --> 00:20:09,290 I mean, if you're doubting if that's really acid 432 00:20:09,374 --> 00:20:10,958 and not just Jacuzzi-heated Mountain Dew, 433 00:20:11,042 --> 00:20:12,460 you're welcome to use this ladle. 434 00:20:12,544 --> 00:20:14,462 You think I'm a goddamn idiot? 435 00:20:14,587 --> 00:20:16,589 Brought my own. 436 00:20:21,302 --> 00:20:22,595 Aah! 437 00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:23,847 Oh, God! Oh, God no! 438 00:20:23,972 --> 00:20:25,432 Oh, God, no! Oh, no... Huh? 439 00:20:25,557 --> 00:20:27,142 I'm acid-proof! 440 00:20:27,267 --> 00:20:29,102 Fuck all of you, fuck all of you, 441 00:20:29,227 --> 00:20:30,478 I'm gonna be rich! 442 00:20:30,603 --> 00:20:31,813 Here's my ass. 443 00:20:31,938 --> 00:20:33,732 Take a good look, spank it! 444 00:20:33,857 --> 00:20:35,316 Acid proof! 445 00:20:35,442 --> 00:20:38,319 Feels like that guy had other stuff going on. 446 00:20:38,445 --> 00:20:40,697 Don't ever make fun of me again. 447 00:20:40,822 --> 00:20:42,866 Ever! 448 00:20:42,991 --> 00:20:44,408 Alright, c'mon Morty, let's go home. 449 00:20:44,492 --> 00:20:46,160 Wait, what? This... This isn't our reality? 450 00:20:46,244 --> 00:20:47,536 What, you think I'd waste our home 451 00:20:47,620 --> 00:20:49,164 teaching you a fucking lesson? 452 00:20:49,289 --> 00:20:51,082 I am gonna miss this place, though... 453 00:20:51,166 --> 00:20:52,917 Johnny Carson's still alive and on the air, 454 00:20:53,001 --> 00:20:54,252 9/11 never happened, 455 00:20:54,377 --> 00:20:55,795 and Rocky Road ice cream has peanut butter 456 00:20:55,879 --> 00:20:57,713 - instead of marshmallows. - The fu... What? 457 00:20:57,797 --> 00:20:58,964 The marshmallows are the best part! 458 00:20:59,048 --> 00:21:00,633 Morty... 459 00:21:37,712 --> 00:21:39,422 Our next guest, ah, gave us, 460 00:21:39,547 --> 00:21:41,132 well, actually, very little information, 461 00:21:41,216 --> 00:21:45,386 ah, besides the fact that he is, uh, impervious to acid. 462 00:21:45,512 --> 00:21:47,388 So here he is, he's here to prove it. 463 00:21:47,514 --> 00:21:50,350 Let's welcome this guy. 464 00:21:50,475 --> 00:21:51,810 Let's do this shit! 465 00:21:51,935 --> 00:21:53,102 Now, you're, uh... You're sure about this? 466 00:21:53,186 --> 00:21:54,395 Eat my ass! Hoist me! 467 00:21:54,521 --> 00:21:57,732 I did not know that ass was on the menu. 468 00:21:57,857 --> 00:21:59,359 Don't steal my moment! Do it! 469 00:21:59,484 --> 00:22:03,154 Ah, okay, then without further ado... drop him. 470 00:22:03,279 --> 00:22:04,572 Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! 471 00:22:04,697 --> 00:22:06,574 Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah, oh, yeah! 472 00:22:18,753 --> 00:22:21,422 Looks like I'll be eating ass flambé. 473 00:22:23,383 --> 00:22:24,509 Please kill me. 34854

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