All language subtitles for Divorce.S02E04.WEBRip.x264-ION10

-Sure.

-You have great tits.

♪ ♪

I just got my friend Bret here
to loan us a Pelts.

It looks like shit. Literally.

I'm Jackie.

My daughter and I are moving
into the neighborhood.

ROBERT DUFRESNE:
There's no way I'm gonna
sell my house for that price.

I was low-balling you!

I loved your house
the minute I walked in.

What you're saying is that you'd
wanna have sex with my house?

I'd blow it
and see where that goes.

I spent so much time focusing
on the divorce that I

didn't even let myself think
about the future.

Do you wanna get dinner with me?

I think I should just
be on my own for a bit.

Oh.

I think I met someone.

Tell me about him.

All these human beings

being rejected in
a matter of seconds.

Yes, it's a great time
to be alive, isn't it?

What's the math?
What's the math?

How many blow-offs
is that per minute?

God, you are really
milking all the fun
out of this.

Just, you know,
jump in the water
and get wet.

I'm not afraid
of getting wet,

I'm just saying that
there is an inherent-- huh.

- Well he looks
kind of nice.
- Wow!

- Sam.
- Sam's cute.

Hmm.

Is that a giraffe
in the background?

Wait a minute.

- I can do--
- Oh, yes.

Indeed,
that is a giraffe.

Wow.

I've always wanted
to go on a safari.

Well, it could be
at the zoo.

I don't understand
why you don't want me

to have, like,
this nice fantasy.

Come on,
give me that back.

No, no, no, no, no!
What are you doing?!

You didn't
ask permission!

It's a match!
I don't believe it!

What-- don't act so--
what are you writing?

What are you writing?
What are you writing?

- Wait, wait, wait!
- Wait, seriously.

!
- Seriously. I'm serious!

Hold on, hold on!
Yes!

- He said yes!
- Give me my phone!

He said yes
to what?!

Robert:
Tom, you have
your socks, homework,

and video games
where everybody
kills everybody?

- Mm-hmm.
- Sorry for spilling

my nail polish
in the bathroom.

Oh, you mean
the red nail polish
in the grout?

Oh, come on,
that'll clean up
like a dream.

Hmm.

Hello?

What?

When did that
happen?

- Tom and Lila: Hey!
- Hi!

- Yeah, it was good.

- Grandpa's
in the hospital.

- See you guys!
- Both: Bye, Dad!

- Uh, acute pneumonia,

which is pretty serious
at his age,

and then, you know,
he's got the heart condition.

Oh, my God.

Doctors
have recommended

that I get there
as quickly as possible.

But, um,
it could be the end.

Oh, my God, Robert,
I'm sorry.

So when
are you leaving?

The first flight
tomorrow morning.

Got the last seat.

But do you--
should--

do you want me--
should I go with you?

No, no,
think I need to
travel light on this one.

It's just there's
a lot of things that
have to be handled,

and just dealing
with my sister alone
is gonna be a ground war.

- But thanks.
- Don't let Cathy
get to you.

Yeah.

All right, well,
seriously, I mean it,

if you change your mind
and you want me there,
I'll jump on a plane.

Yeah, I think
it's probably
easier this way.

- Thanks.
- Mm.

( siren blaring
in distance )

( heart monitor
beeping )

Hey, Dad.

It's Robert.

I'm here now.

I'm not going
anywhere.

Man:
He's out
like a light.

Haven't heard
a peep out of him.

His color's
good, though.

- Okay.
- You know,
when he comes to,

you might wanna consider
going premium on the TV.

- They're upgrading
the whole building.

146 channels
in every room.

Just six bucks
a week.

That was weird.

I just don't feel good
about not being with him,
you know?

I mean,
if we were still married,
I'd just-- I would there.

There'd be
no question.

And I feel guilty

because even though
a part of me wanted to go,

I had this little,
like, "Ah,"

this sigh of relief
when he told me he didn't
want me to go.

You're divorced now.
You're free.

Diane,
I was married forever.

These
feelings are--

they're--
they're involuntary.

Well, tick-tock,
time to make new feelings.

Well, I just
feel shitty about it.

- I feel shitty for Robert.

- Hi!
- Oh, hello!

- Hello.
- Hi.

What did you say
this sculpture
is worth again?

Well, it is
on loan currently,

and it is just south
of $2 million.

Told ya.
You owe me dinner.

- Shit.
- Okay, well,
thanks again.

- You're welcome.

- Woman: Oh, my God!

That is what
you call buzz.

That's buzz?

- ...by sports...

So I got you the premium
cable package, Dad.

It's a fucking sweet
selection.

...while Molly the bear
was tranquilized...

Well, feeling better
these days.

Better than before.

I'm not gonna drag you
through all the gory details.

Just suffice it
to say it sucked,

in case you were
worried about me.

Not that you were ever
a big worrier,

but...
I don't know.

Sometimes I wish
I could be more like you.

It's hard, though.

If you're like
many Americans...

Dad, it's
"The Lone Ranger"!

That used to be
your favorite!

Huh, isn't it crazy?

Check in the hospital
with pneumonia and
a high fever,

get a "Lone Ranger"
marathon out of the deal.

Yeah,
life's funny.

He's sweet, he's funny,
he's handsome.

It's-- it's like I hit
the motherfucking Powerball.

- And he actually
makes me happy.
- I can tell.

And he is 100%
not judgmental.

You know, most men,
they meet a woman
in their 40s,

never been married,
with a teenage daughter,

and their eyes
just glaze over.

But not Robbie.

He's, like,
completely unfazed.

Wow, we may have to
bottle this guy.

Just bear in mind
that most relationships,

they go through
an early euphoric period,
they level off,

and-- and I just--
I wouldn't make any big
life changes right now.

You're probably right,
and I haven't even met
his ex-wife yet.

Well, there you have it.
So there's another bit
of mountain to climb.

Yeah.
And this chick
sounds batshit crazy.

Luckily for you,
she's not your problem.

- Frances: I'm here to see
a patient-- Frank DuFresne.

- Capital D-U-F-R...

- ...E--
sorry-- E-S-N-E.
- Oh, God damn it.

- I got it, thanks.
- Robert: The one thing
that I asked of you,

and you couldn't even
respect that?

I didn't want you
to go through this
by yourself.

I felt like
I should be here.

You would do the exact
same thing for me.

- All right.

How'd you get
the kids squared away?

Oh, that was easy
'cause Lila got to

go to Rachel's
for the weekend

and Tom is
at home with Diane
checking in on him.

Roomies with Diane?

- Ugh.

As usual,
she lives 30 miles away,

but acts like she's taking
a submarine from Ukraine.

The more she's away,
the more pleasant for you.

- Yeah.

Yeah, I'll just
handle everything

and her contribution
will be to skyrocket
my blood pressure.

Good thing mine's
low to begin with.

- A gallery.

- Diane: Yoo-hoo!

Hello!

Just checking in
as advertised.

Making sure
you're okay.

So...

So to clear the air,
your mother never claimed
you were helpless,

so you can
put all that
out of your mind

and just think of me
as a buddy-type

who's just checking in
on you from time to time.

Does that mean
I can ask you to leave?

Very witty.

I like a young man
with a sense of humor.

- So...

So what's doin'
at school these days?

You know what I always
used to love?
School dances.

What are the names
of the top dances that
the kids are doing these days?

Just the top 10.
Last to first,

or first to last,
whatever you want.

I'm gonna go rinse out
my cereal bowl.

Is that
an Audi RS 7?

I don't know
the exact make and model,
but that is my car indeed.

- Frances:
His color looks good.

Frances thinks
you have good color.

He-- he likes
your voice.

Well, actually,
Frank, you know what I was
remembering on the plane?

The time that Robert and I
came down to visit you guys

and, um,
we went to Sears.

- We bought a lawn mower.
- Oh, wait, no, it was an edger.

- Yeah. Do you remember
that, Dad?

We bought that
Sears Craftsman edger.

That thing was like
a bologna slicer
on wheels.

Yeah.

And then we, um--
we went to some kind
of drive-in place,

you know, and it had,
like, a big hat on the roof.

- Oh, Hatburger.
- Yeah, yeah, Hatburger!

Yeah. God.

Man, they closed that
shitbox down years ago.

That was before
the kids were born.

And you made me order
this really messy,
massive burger

with, like, five patties
stacked on it.

- Oh, the juicy stovepipe.

- Yeah.
- Oh, my God.

And I did not
make you order it.

You ordered it,
and I was appalled

at how you inhaled it
like a linebacker.

Oh, my God,
that burger was
so goddamn good.

I vaguely remember
that your Dad

got really angry
at the carhop

for some reason
that I don't remember,

and he--
but he called him
a cement head.

Oh, yeah, yep.
Remember that, Dad,
cement head?

That was
one of your favorites.

The cement head allegation
was leveled at me

hundreds of times
over the years.

I remember one time
he called my mom
a cement head.

Hey, remember, Dad?
She bought the wrong
boat polish

and you--
you threw it

and it exploded
on the wall.

Yeah.

I'm gonna go
get some air.

Do you want me
to come with you?

No, it's
all right.

Again, just get
some fresh air.

Uh, Frank,
I don't know
if you're aware of this,

but they've
put you in a--

a sort of
creamsicle-colored gown,

which-- which you pull off,
you know, by the way.

I feel kind of lousy
that we didn't

get to know each other
better over the years.

But there-- there are
a couple of things

I would like you
to know.

First of all,
that--

that your son
loves you very, very much.

And he talks
about you all time.

He's always
telling us stories,
me and the kids,

about you guys taking
fishing trips or, um...

just some crazy thing he did
that you beat his ass for.

"That you beat his ass for,"
those are-- that's-- those
are his words.

But I would also
very much want you to know

that-- that you mean
a lot to me

because you mean
a lot to him.

This is very nice.

Hey, wait,
isn't this-- yeah.

This is the street that
connects right-- yeah--

- to that hill, right,
where we went sledding?
- Mm-hmm.

- Yes.
- Yes.

- Steel trap.
- I took you sledding,

and you wore
that puffy coat
that I hated.

Right, you mean my--
that-- my loden green
L.L. Bean coat?

Yeah. Yeah,
I brought you home
to show you off,

let everybody see
my sweet, beautiful,

smoking hot,
piece-of-ass girlfriend.

Then you walked around looking
like the Michelin Man
the whole time.

Listen, I bought
that coat for you.

You told me to
respect Ohio winters.
You recall that?

All right, so what else
do we need to get your dad?

We gotta get clippers,
nail clippers,

'cause I saw
those toe shovels.

It's a disaster.
I gotta clip those.

Oh, my God,

the day that
clipping toenails
becomes a two-man job,

just give me
an ice pick in the earhole

- and leave me in the alley.
- Yeah, ditto, me, too.

I used to steal
a lot of candy in here.

And later in high school,
I stole a lot of rubbers.

It's like a story
out of Mark Twain.

- Robert: Hello, Cathy.

There you are!
I was so worried you
skipped town or something.

No, we went over to Cary's
to get some stuff for Dad.

Oh! Oh,
that was nice.
So you saved me a trip.

I was just gonna do
the same thing.

Hey there,
cutie-a-gootie!

That was nice of you
to drag yourself here.

- Hey, Cathy!
You look great.
- Thanks, so do you!

Did you, uh--
did you put on
a couple pounds?

'Cause last time I saw you,
you were really skinny.

- Oh, yeah,
like emaciated.

I was really worried.
I prayed for you.

I'm sure there's a--

there's a compliment
buried in there somewhere.

- No, there isn't.
- And look you, Mr.
Lost-the-Mustache!

Finally!

The world only needs
one Tom Selleck,

- Two Tom Sellecks,

that's an embarrassment
of riches.

I'm just gonna
come out and say it--

divorce or no divorce,

you two look like
a thousand bucks.

- Very generous.
- 500 each, thank you.

I'm really
enjoying this, Tom.

- Yeah!

This flat-bottom
steering wheel is nuts.

Mm, I just feel
so relaxed.

I can do
all my errands,

not have to worry about
finding a parking space.

- Oh, wait, shit. Stop, stop!

Great, now
can you back up?

Oh, good, my girl's
working today.

Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa!

Watch it, idiot!

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

- Don't you cuss at him!

He is a very good
driver!

Why don't you learn
to walk, you schmuck?!

- He almost
backed right into me!

Where's a cop?
I don't like your tone, mister!

It's very threatening,

and I can see that
you're staring at my tits.

Yeah, walk away!

Big tough guy,
acting all tough,
hitting a car.

Go ahead,
walk away, walk away!

What an asshole,
right?

All right,
hit the flashers, hon.

She's fast.
I'll be back 10.

Copy that.

Wish I didn't
have to leave tomorrow,

but we're getting
the furnace cleaned

and Larry's getting
his toe fixed.

But I'll try to make it back
by the end of the week.

Boy, that one
conks out easy, huh?

Yeah, she left
her house at 4:30
to catch a 7:00 AM flight.

Well, first class,
I hear it's a vacation
in itself.

- Of course, I wouldn't know.
- I'm not sleeping, and I was
in steerage.

What's this?
"Weekly premium
cable service, $6."

Oh wait, I'm sorry,
"6.36 with tax."

Yeah, I upgraded
his TV package, okay?

My hands were tied
when it came to the tax.

And you didn't think
to check with me first?

We share
a power of attorney.

It's a teeny
upgrade, Cathy.

He likes Westerns.
I thought it might be nice

to have something playing
in the background
just in case.

In case what?
He's sedated

and he could linger
a long time.

You know,
expenses add up.

He needs 146 channels
like he needs mambo lessons.

But you just love to piss
my money away, don't you?

Okay, you know what, Cathy?
Cable's on us, our treat.

Nobody asked you
for anything.

Of course not,
because then you don't
get to be the hero.

Because after all,
no one cares about Dad
except for you.

Jesus Christ
has arrived

all the way
from New York,

so bow down
and kiss his fat ass!

Okay, okay, easy,
easy, Cathy, come on.

How much did you
care about Dad

whenever you ran off
with your drug dealing
boyfriend in high school?

I had to drive nine hours
to Pennsylvania

- to drag your butt back.
- Robert, shh.

You remember that?
Mom cried for three days.

You were filthy
and you smelled like
a miniature donkey.

That is youth.
That was Shakespeare.

Of course,
you wouldn't know
anything about passion.

You know what?
Tell you what,

let's just
get on the record

that Cathy paid for
half the cable bill,
all right?

Cathy, no one expects you
to pay for anything.

- You've been
so helpful as it is.
- It's not about the cable!

- This guy has a long,
brutal history...
- Okay, okay.

...of calling
my character into question

because he's angry
and he's bitter, okay?

That's all about his own
little shortcomings
right there.

Robert:
There's an
alternative theory here

that maybe you drive
everybody around you,

including me,
fucking batshit.

That's why Larry,
your pussy-whipped husband,

works double shifts
to stay away from you.

And he tried
to kill himself.

Okay, water under the bridge,
water under the bridge.

No, you see how red
he's getting?

That's literally the guilt
rising to the surface, okay?

Now he's gonna
go punch a wall.

We had holes in every room
in the house growing up.

- Oh, Daddy!

Oh, there you go, Daddy!
It's okay!

It's me, Cathy.
Can you hear me?

Daddy, it's okay
to let go.

Find peace!
Go play fetch
with Chester.

Don't tell him
to go play fetch
with Chester!

- Robert, just calm down.
- Chester's a dead dog.

- Let go, Daddy!

It's been a long time!
Find Nana and Pop-Pop!

I'm trying
to stay cool, okay,

but in about two seconds,
I-- I have to choke her
to death.

Okay, Robert, just don't
talk to Cathy.
Cathy!

What's my father's robe
doing here?

If you're taking stuff
from the house...

You got us red-handed
there, Cathy.

We stole Dad's
40-year-old robe

and some
hearing aid batteries.

Later, we were
thinking about

maybe knocking off
a stagecoach.

Okay, I'm going over there
right now, all right?

Because I have
an entire list of things
that Dad promised me--

Mom's wedding ring,
his Navy uniform,

and the green
Fiestaware pitcher.

And God help you
if I see one thing missing.

Well, whenever
you get there,
do me a quick favor

and shove the green
Fiestaware pitcher
up your ass.

♪ And those of us
with ravaged faces ♪

♪ Lacking in
the social graces ♪

♪ Desperately
remained at home ♪

♪ Inventing lovers
on the phone ♪

- ♪ Who called to say,
"Come dance with me?" ♪
- ♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na. ♪

You know, Tom, I had
a really good time today.

- And we got a lot done.
- Yeah!

We're a good team.

You and me,
me and you,

together,
we get a lot done.

High five.

Tell you what,
why don't we stop at
The Brass Crow on the way home

and treat ourselves
to something cute?

What is
The Brass Crow?

Sweetie, I have to be
totally honest,

it looks surprisingly
gay on you.

Do you wanna try
another color?

No, thank you,
please.

Okay, I need
your opinion now.

What do you think
of this skirt?

I mean, the zipper
isn't the whole way up
in the back.

- Is it supposed to
be like that?

Can I grab you
another size?

No, this is a four
and I wear a four.

But you're
more than welcome
to grab me a two

as long as
it doesn't have
a defective zipper

like your
fucking four.

Tom, factory flaws aside,
truthfully,

tell me what do you think
of this skirt?

- It's kind of cool, actually.

- Maybe just get, like,
a bigger size,

you know,
just for comfort.

Yeah.

Fuck this.

Mrs. Clavowen?

Diane: Get the car,
I wanna get the fuck
out of here.

Robert.
Robert, he's awake.

Dad. Dad!

Hey.

How are you--
how are you feeling?

Where's Cathy?

Um, you know, she went
to run some errands

and-- and she's
on her way back, so.

Yeah, Cathy is--
she's a doer.

Your eyes are
so beautiful, Frank.

Gosh, I forgot how much
they look like Robert's.

!
- Yeah, he's awake.

Daddy!

Oh, Daddy!
Oh, my God!

I'm here for you now.
Oh, gosh!

Everything's
gonna be okay.

- Hi!

I'm gonna go
to the washroom.

Cathy, Cathy, I think
we should be probably

- mindful of these cords.
- I'm mindful.

- Well, I want these
to do their job.
- You look so good.

- There's no slack and I think
they're keeping him alive.
- Robert: Fuck!

- Oh!
- Frances:
Oh, my God.

See?
Told you.

So we're gonna
get you out of here.

I'll make you
a nice, home-cooked meal,
won't that be nice?

Mm-hmm.

Uh, I'm gonna go get
some ice for my knuckles.

- No, I'll get--
I'll get your ice.
- I got you premium cable.

- Hey, Cathy.
- 146 channels.

Cathy,
can I grab you?

What do you want?
I gotta get back in there.

And let him get
his own ice, by the way.

It's his fault.
He's such a cement head.

- Ugh!
- I'm sorry,
this is awkward.

- I don't know, really...
- Well, just...

...where to begin, um.

- Robert is not
a perfect individual.

- Oh, come on,
that's putting it mildly.
- Well, none of us are.

- Uh-huh.
- Yet by any
measurable comparison,

he is a far better person
than you are.

- By a mile.

Yeah, by an ocean.

Because you are...

you are a horrible
person, Cathy!

- You don't even know me.
- No, you aren't a good sister,

you aren't
a good daughter.

You are indefensible,

and I will no longer
feel sorry for your wiring

or whatever genetic bugs
you have in your head
or up your ass.

So I'm gonna
tell you something,

and I want you
to listen, okay?

- I'm listening.
- Robert and I may live

on opposite ends
of the planet,

but if I ever hear

that you have
upset him

or that you have caused him
any form of distress,

I will
hunt you down.

So don't fuck
with me, Cathy.

- I think you were
really out of line.
- Cathy.

For once in your life,
just don't say anything.

This is heartbreaking.
Heartbreaking.

Oh, oh, oh,
wait, wait, wait,
I'm sorry, one more thing.

Your mother gave me
the green Fiestaware pitcher,

and you will have to
dig it out of my grave.

So you have food
you can heat up later.

Yeah, it's one
of the things I wanna do
before I leave town,

get him
a new microwave.

This one's
totally shot.

But he is
absolutely married

to that dedicated
popcorn button.

They did a good job
on your hand.

It was very clever
to punch a wall
at a hospital.

- I'm a thinker.

I'm so glad
he's better.

- We got a lot done today.
- We sure did.

I appreciate it.

♪ Now I told you
so you ought to know ♪

♪ It takes some time
for a feeling to grow ♪

♪ But you're
so close now... ♪

Hey, can you grab
my charger?

It's right over there.

Thanks.

- Believe so.

♪ With you,
I'm not shy ♪

♪ To show
the way I feel ♪

♪ With you,
I might try ♪

- ♪ My secrets to reveal...

♪ For you are a magnet ♪

♪ And I am steel... ♪

Really?

- I'll send you my boarding--

♪ You're a woman
who's lost to your song ♪

♪ But the love that I feel
is so strong ♪

♪ And it can't be wrong ♪

- ♪ With you, I'm not shy... ♪

♪ To show
the way I feel ♪

♪ With you,
I might try ♪

♪ My secrets to reveal ♪

♪ For you are a magnet ♪

♪ And I am steel ♪

♪ With you,
I'm not shy ♪

♪ To show
the way I feel ♪

♪ With you,
I might try ♪

♪ My secrets to reveal ♪

♪ For you are a magnet ♪

♪ And I am steel ♪

♪ For you are a magnet ♪

♪ And I am steel ♪

♪ For you are a magnet ♪

♪ And I am steel. ♪

Ever since we slept
together in Ohio,

things are uncomplicated.

Sex that makes things
less complicated?

I hear about that a lot.

Lila's thirteen.

It's your first family gathering
since the divorce.

How are you two getting along?

FRANCES DUFRESNE: I pulled
our son over, driving that.

How do you have a Tesla?

-It's my... friend-woman's.

It's a hostile takeover
of my friends.

I suppose she's attractive?

Beachy hair, blonde...

Get this.
She calls him "Robbie."

FRANCES:
My God. Who is this woman?