All language subtitles for S01E04 - Social Psychology.en

- Before we wrap up,
i would like to thank you guys

For filling out these
anonymous evaluation cards.

I found your feedback

To be largely constructive
and flattering,

So gracias on that.
- De nada.

- You don't have to sign
your name anymore.

- Got it.

- But there was
one evaluation

That was so harsh
and hurtful

And racist

That i took the time
personally

To analyze that handwriting
against past exams.

And this particular coward

Dots her is with tiny,

Itty-Bitty,
little circles.

Boop. Boop.
Tcch!

Isn't that precious
and cute?

Who's "erratic
and unstable" now,

Princess gringa?

[Kiss]

- Nice day out today,
isn't it?

- Yeah. Shoot!

- You forget something?
- Yeah.

I forgot to stagger the timing
of my exit with shirley's.

We both have a class
across campus, and i can't go

That kind of distance
with "ooh, that's nice."

- That's mean.
- No.

[Imitating shirley]
that's not nice.

- I find shirley very easy
to talk to,

And besides,
aren't you supposed to have,

Like, an olympic gold medal
in jibber-Jabber?

- Yeah,
but i'm a sprinter.

I'm at my best during
high-Speed bursts of wit.

On a shirley walk, i'd be winded
by that stoner tree.

- Hey, britta, hi.
What's up?

- Hey, vaughn, how's it going?
- No worries.

- Interesting.
'Cause i might be worried

If i was playing hacky sack
a decade too late.

- My class is that way.

- All right, but i just
wanted to point out

That we easily walked
more than 100 yards

With no awkward pauses,

And that is the sign
of a true friend.

- I'm really glad that you're
not hitting on me anymore.

- There's the awkward pause.

- Huhh--Aah!
Aw!

- Excuse me.
Oh, sorry, ladies.

Professor duncan!
Professor duncan!

- What?
- Excuse me. Annie edison.

I'm in your 101 lecture.
- Hello.

- I've heard
about your special psych lab.

- Ah. The duncan principle.
- Yes.

And i know it's limited
to second-Year students,

But i had
a 4.0 at riverside high,

And i'm not looking down
on this school at all,

But i'm only here because of
a brief addiction to pills

That i was told
would help me...focus,

But they actually made me lose
my scholarship and virginity.

So--
- Right.

- If you would let me
take your lab early,

It would be a real feather
in my transcript.

- Okay, i've actually been
in this situation many times,

So i'm just
going to be up front.

I'm not allowed to date
students.

- Oh!

- Even though
you're an eight.

- Oh!
- Which is a british ten,

So i'm angry.
- Oh!

- But if, in spite of that,
you are still interested,

Then you may join the lab.
- [Squeals]

- Ah! Okay. You need to bring
two human subjects.

And it would not hurt
your chances one bit

If you could
lend me a fiver.

I seem to have
left my purse in my duffle

And my duffle in the boot
of my lorry, so--

- Oh.

- I asked politely, and then
panda took his pants off.

- [Laughs]

I never even knew
that's what asexual meant.

- I wonder what this
express package could be?

Somebody had to get
something to me very fast.

- You brought your mail
to campus?

- Oh, yes.
My ear-Noculars.

- What is that? It looks like
your bluetooth thingie.

- No, no, no, no, no.
This is my cell phone headset.

And this is ear-Noculars.

It's for spies and whatnot.
It gives you sonic hearing.

- All hearing is sonic.
- What's that?

- So who wants to be
in a psych experiment?

- Hey, guys, guys, guys?

Annie is talking about
some kind of experiment.

- She's behind you.
Not interested.

- Please?
You get paid.

- Do they do stuff to your butt?
- No.

- Do you get paid more if they
do stuff to your butt?

- No.
- That's fine.

I'll do it. I'm in.
- Yay!

- How about you, abed?
It's tomorrow.

- Ooh, tomorrow?

They're showing all four
indiana joneses at the vista.

I'm really looking forward
to the first three.

I bought a whip.

- This is really important
to me, abed.

Could you please go
as my friend?

My really good friend?

- Wow, i didn't realize
we were really good friends.

I figured we were more
like chandler and phoebe.

They never really
had stories together.

Sure, i'll do it,
chandler.

- Oh, thank you, abed.
- Oh!

- I'm gonna go save britta
from that dude.

- Yeah, she looks like
she's in trouble.

Hope he doesn't try to
"handsome" her to death.

- And panda has no pants.
- Hey.

- Hey, hi, what's up, man?
I'm vaughn.

- You in line?
- Oh, no, no, no.

We're just, uh,
we're just chillin'.

Hey, you're not gonna
order coffee?

- Oh, no, i was just
gonna see if britta--

- Hey, no judgment, bro.
I used to do coffee.

Then i made the switch
to green tea.

It's, like--It's, like,

Filled with these antioxidants
and stuff.

- Hmm.

- It's pretty tight.
- Tight. Yes.

I've heard that
about green tea.

- I like green tea.
I should make the change.

- Up top, sugar bear.

[Slap]

- Yeah, give me some of that.
- There it is.

- Small coffee, please.

- Britta's making the change
to green tea.

- Oh, that's good.
It's good for your skin.

- Welcome,
research assistants.

- [Applauds]

- If you turn your attention
to the monitor,

You will see
that our subjects

Are waiting for the experiment
to begin, but...

It's actually
happening right now.

- [Gasps]
- Wow.

You see, the waiting
is the experiment.

The duncan principle
is simple.

Namely, that the more control
lost by the--

Yeah, i'm gonna
write this down too, actually.

That's a good point.

The more control
lost by the ego,

The more gained by the id,

Resulting
in a surprisingly predictable

Emotional eruption
or breaking point,

Known to ma and pa as
a good old-Fashioned tantrum.

[Laughter]

Oh.

Annie, why don't you, uh,
go and tell our subjects

That we're going to be
starting the experiment

In five minutes, okay?

And annie...

It's never actually
going to start.

Ho ho.

Let's do this.

[Door closes]

- Hi, everyone.

Hi, troy.

Hi, abed.
- Hi.

Hi, senor chang.

- What, a community college
spanish teacher

Can't use 80 bucks?

- Well, we're just running
a little bit behind,

So we'll probably start
in about five minutes.

- No, no, no!
No, no, no, no, no!

It's unacceptable,
all right?

You lied to me!

When you say something
starts at 9:00,

It starts at nueve!

No!

No!
- Houston, we have an idiot.

Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

- Did you know we walk
the same way after class?

I'm sure you didn't or else we
would've been walking together,

Unless you're a jerk.

Just kidding.

- Let's do it.
- Mm-Hmm.

Don't go too fast for
these dogs. Short legs.

So how do you like--
- So you've got a kid, right?

- What's that?
- Nothing.

- So pierce isn't exactly
right in the head, is he?

- I know a lot
of grown men

With radar dishes
coming out of their ear.

- [Laughs]
he's like inspector gadget.

- Yeah, go, go,
gadget incontinence.

- And how about that guy
that's always around,

Flirting with britta?

- I know!
He's the worst! Vaughn?

- I know, and what is it
with his hair?

- It's perpetually moist.

- Okay, we're three hours in,
so let's review what we've seen.

And pay close attention to
every subject's breaking point.

We've got a shouter.
- Aah!

- That one's a stomper.
Bye, hippie.

There's a generic whack job,
bouncing up and down

Like a six-Foot child.

Shaking.
Write that down.

Visible shakes.

Look at the little one
chase the big one.

Look at him go. I'm gonna
make him go quicker.

It's like benny hill looks.
Whoo, ooh, ooh, get him.

Come back again. Whoo,
ooh, ooh, get him.

All right?
There's a bit of fun.

It lightens the mood.

And back to the present.

And then there were two.

Break.

No, no, no! Annie!

What is going on
in there?

Why--?
What is taking so long?

I've wasted all day
here for you.

The soul train awards
were tonight.

You promised butt stuff!

[Crying]

- And he's out.
We got him.

[Laughs]
strike three.

You're gone.

- There's so much dust
in here.

- Do you know what?

The longer they wait,
the harder they break.

Buckle up, students.

[Both laughing]

- Do you see how often
hacky sack takes his shirt off?

He'd play shirts and skins
in a game of checkers.

- I'm so glad to be able
to talk to someone about this.

I wanted to say
something to britta about it,

But we're supposed to be
friends now,

And she'd think
i was jealous.

- I don't see why you
and britta aren't together.

Two cute white people,
going to school together,

Just seems right.

- Shirley,
we're not pandas in a zoo.

- [Laughs]

Oh. Oh, dear.

- That is not
what i want to see.

- There goes the shirt.

- Hey.

- Hey, i'm fine.
How are--

Want me to, uh,

Want me to check you
for grass stains?

- I wasn't sure how or when
to bring up

That i was hanging out
with vaughn.

I figured that you'd
make fun of him...and me.

- Uh, first of all,

Friends do not make
fun of each other,

Even if they're being tackled
in the quad by a hippie,

And secondly,
vaughn seems cool.

- Well, you guys should
hang out sometime.

I gotta go.

I--Uh, that was tacky
out there.

You won't ever
see that again.

- Oh, no worries, brah.

- Shirley, did you see
senor chang's socks today?

Tiny bullfighters.

[Both laugh]

- I can top that.

Did you see that
hacky sack wears an anklet?

[Laughs]

Since when won't you
talk about vaughn?

- Look, i'm trying to be
a good friend to britta.

She thought i was gonna
make fun of him,

But i want to be
unpredictable.

I'm gonna show her that i am not
the jerk she thinks i am

And friend the hell out of

That green-Tea-Drinking
drum circler.

- Okay,
but tell me you've noticed

How small his nipples are.

- Not engaging.
- What?

It's not gossip
when it's fact.

My kids have got hamsters
with bigger nips.

- No!
- Oh, well.

- No!
- Jeff!

- Is it on pause?

- No, that's just him.

Sorry you've been waiting
26 hours.

It's just gonna be
another five minutes.

- Okey-Dokey.

- Oh, my...

Why won't he leave?

- Professor.
- What?

- I'm sorry,
but this guy's not moving.

I have classes
to go to.

- Go! Fine!

Go kill john lennon again,
you loser.

He's ruined my study!

He has--He has warped
the duncan principle.

Damn you,
you outlying piece of datum!

[Bangs]
ow! Aah!

It's you!
It's your fault!

- But you told me
to bring subjects.

- Yeah, subjects!
Not rain man!

I should never
have let you into this lab,

Miss annie fanny
panties in a bunch!

- Oh! Oh,
that's so hilarious!

Did you think of that

The last time you
skipped a trip to the dentist?

- Oh, let me answer that
question with another question.

[Blows raspberry]

It's not--It's not fair!
It's not fair!

Why, why, why?

What are you doing?

Put your--
Stop writing!

Put your pen--
Give me that!

Get out!
Get out, you dorks!

Get out!

You have destroyed
the duncan principle!

- Go home!

- Cool.

See ya.

- So britta said that you did
a lot of community service.

- Ultimate frisbee
at the senior's center.

It is amazing.

- And what makes frisbee
ultimate?

- Aw, man,
if i had a nickel

For every time i wished
somebody asked me that.

- I'm gonna get dessert.
Want anything?

- Carrots.

- Oh, i'm good.

- Hey, you two.
- Hey.

- Well,
that's a cool shirt.

- Thank you.
Thank you very much.

- Where's it from?

- Oh, uh,
i don't even know.

I guess it's--
Well, uh--

Hey, look at that.
"Hanes classic."

- Oh, that's nice.

- You know, people
underestimate the elderly,

You know, but you
see these guys out there

And they're
throwing the bee

And they're just loving life.
It's just inspiring.

- You know, i'm gonna really--
I'm gonna think about it.

- All right. I'm gonna go
check on britts.

See ya.

- See ya.

- You are the devil.

- I know.

- ¿Donde vaughn ustedes
los sábados?

- Domingo, pl--

Oh, okay, i--

- Where do we go
on saturdays?

You said sunday.
- I have a question for you.

You like vaughn, right?

- Oh, he--He's very cute.

- I'm just worried

That he's thinking
a little bit more intensely

About this thing
than i am.

He says stuff,
you know, after...

- School?

- After...
- Dinner mints?

- After...

- Not having sex?

- Ahh...

- How was that?

- What? Forget that.

The problem right now
is that he's calling me "babe."

He's trying to hold my hand.

It's getting a little
relationship-Y.

And he gave me something.

- Herpes?

- No. This.

- A poem?

- How do i respond
to something like that?

"Thank you"?

- Well,
it's a very good question.

And it's one
i will answer. Uh--

Ooh, i'm getting a text.

I'm just gonna read it,
if you don't mind.

I am reading it,
and it is read.

"Did you ever notice where
the ocean meets the sky, did ya?

It's the same wizard blue that
i see in your eye, brit-Ta."

- Oh, no, no.
"Wizard blue"?

[Laughs]
- Yeah.

- Thank you so much.
You just brightened my day.

I'm so glad we can rip on
that dude again.

- Look at this, look at this.

That is the stain of a teardrop
over the word "rad."

- Oh, he said "rad"?
I thought he said "bad."

Oh, that makes it worse.
[Laughs]

- I'm surprised he can read.
- Oh!

- You know?
- I know.

- Hey, sorry about bailing
on the psych experiment.

- That was
the experiment, troy.

We were testing to see how long
people would wait in the room.

- Whoa.

- Oh, gotcha.

- "Gotcha"?
That's all you have to say?

- Yeah.

- You sat in a room
for 26 straight hours.

Didn't that bother you?

- Yeah, i was livid.
- Then why didn't you leave?

- Because you asked me to stay
and you said we were friends.

- Wait. Is this still
part of the experiment?

- He's more like a puppy
with a fish mouth.

- Right, right.
It's more like this.

[Laughter]

- That's right.
Laugh it up.

You guys want to know
what they're doing?

- Yeah.
- Sure.

- Making fun of all of us.

I heard you with my own
ear...noculars.

- Pierce, we are not
making fun of you.

- Uh-Huh.
Calling me "hacky sack"

And ripping my--My six pack abs
and my moist hair.

And that face you made?

Well, i think
it's pretty obviously annie.

- Okay, this is definitely still
part of the experiment.

- Pierce, we were not
making fun of you.

- Yeah.

- We're making fun britta's
boyfriend, vaughn.

- Oh, good.
Well, in that case.

But if we're gonna do something,
let's do it as a team.

I'll get the ball rolling.
Maybe he has a tiny penis.

- Who is this guy?

- You all have got
to see him.

Everything's all,
"no worries, no worries."

And he always says hello
three times in a row.

Hello, good evening,
how are you?

And--Here, look!
He wrote a poem!

- Oh!
- Can i read it?

- We shouldn't show that.
- Oh, no, it's fine.

- So i'll be done in,
like, an hour.

- Yeah. No worries.
- He just said it!

- Guys,
you've met vaughn, right?

- Hey. What's up? Hi.

[Laughter]

This troop's got a case
of the giggles, huh?

Is that--?

Did you give them
my poem?

- No.
- Okay, well,

Why is the dinosaur rocking
a picture of my poem?

- Here, read it.

- Oh, you guys are--
Right?

You guys are laughing at me,
aren't you?

- Yeah.
- No.

- That's uh, wow.

This is the least tight thing
that's ever happened to me.

- I can't believe you.

- Honestly, jeff,
how dare you?

- He's crying.

Now he's barking.

- Jeff, wait!
I'm sorry i sold you out.

- Britta is never
gonna forgive me.

I can't believe
i showed you that poem.

Oh, my god, my life
is degrassi high.

- Oh, jeff.
I have a gossip problem.

I stir the pot, jeff.
I'm a pot stirrer.

This isn't even the only study
group i've had this year.

You see
those ladies over there?

I used to be in their group
till they kicked me out.

They call me "tattle-Ina."
It's a bumblebee nickname.

It's--It's cute,
but it stings.

- Hey, look at the size
of that woman's earrings.

It's like little dogs
should be jumping through them.

- Mmmmmmm!
- [Laughs]

- This is never going to work.
- Look at them.

- This has to end.
Mm-Mm, mm-Mm.

- Shirley, don't do this.
Look, we can still hang out.

It's just, you know,
we won't bag on people.

- Come on, jeff.
What are we gonna talk about?

My kids?
Your--Your doctor career?

- I was a lawyer.
- See? I'm already bored.

- [Sighs]

Well, we'll always have
"tiny nipples."

- [Laughs]
they were tiny.

Okay.

Jeff, wait. Wait.
I know i shouldn't do this,

But one last
little piece of gossip.

Britta told me she had
a sex dream about you.

You still have a chance.

[Squeals]
mm-Hmm. Mm-Mm.

- Details.
- Mmmmmm! Mm-Mmm.

- Details!
- Mm-Mmm!

- Details!

- Abed, here.

I wanted to say sorry
for yelling at you.

- Indiana jones.
Cool.

- I just got the first three
because...

Together:
the fourth one blows.

- We're cool.

- I do not
want to talk to you.

- No, i know,
and i'm sorry.

I'm really sorry.
I'm really, really sorry,

And i will go talk to vaughn
if you want me to.

With me.
- Oh.

Oh.

- You broke my trust.
You suck.

- I know, and i'm sorry,

But i was
in a tough position.

I couldn't handle
just being one of the girls.

- What do you want to be?

- Is there a spot on
the friendship spectrum

Between total stranger

And having to hear
about the guys you date?

And ideally,
just a notch underneath

Driving you to the airport
and painting your kitchen?

- How about the friend level

Where you sometimes
have to cat-Sit?

- Done.

And if i'm occasionally naked
in your dreams,

I won't complain.

- Shirley.
- I know.

She's got a problem.
She stirs the pot.

She's a pot stirrer.

- Sorry, dudes.

- No worries, man.

- Yeah, some worries, man.
Some worries.

- * now there was a time *

- Whoa.

* when you loved me so *

* i couldn't run *

- Shirley would have said
something funny about that guy.

* *

- [Laughs]
and so i told him...

Oh, hey--Hey, jeff.

- Shh shh shh shh.

- Oh, no.

Pierce! Pierce,
give me your ear-Thing.

- Got rid of it.

You see, jeff,
there are certain things

Man was not meant
to hear.

We were designed,
by whatever entity you choose,

To hear
what's in this range,

And really,
this range alone.

Because you know who's
talking to us in this range?

The people we love.

- * how you like me now? *

* how you like me now?... *

- He must have heard us
call him inspector gadget.

[Imitates a stoner]
- Oh, i think it's time

For burning man.

[Dorky voice]
- Ew, i'm saddam hussein. Ew.

[Imitates a stoner]
- Nice to meet you, dude.

[Imitates woman]
- Ooh, wow. I love reading and
being a desperate housewife.

[With jamaican accent]
- Hey, man, coming through.

I love
de desperate housewives.

[Snotty guy voice]
- I'm dr. Doogie seacrest.

I think i'm better than
everyone else because i'm 40.

- I'm not 40.

I can hear you through
the window, morons.

- Just pretend
like you're asleep.

Done by: mosito1001
www.addic7ed.com
www.darkville.com.mx

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