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1
00:00:10,885 --> 00:00:12,720
Tickets, please.
2
00:00:18,059 --> 00:00:20,102
Barkeep. A drink
for my colleague.
3
00:00:20,228 --> 00:00:21,437
Do I know you?
4
00:00:21,562 --> 00:00:23,188
I know the only reason to travel by train
5
00:00:23,272 --> 00:00:24,565
is to travel with weapons.
6
00:00:24,649 --> 00:00:26,775
And we all know that
at the end of this line,
7
00:00:26,859 --> 00:00:28,986
there's only one creature worth killing.
8
00:00:29,111 --> 00:00:31,948
The man in the white coat.
9
00:00:32,073 --> 00:00:34,575
May as well take turns
exchanging stories.
10
00:00:34,700 --> 00:00:38,204
Mine begins on planet Ramamama.
11
00:00:38,329 --> 00:00:40,665
Lower him into acid.
12
00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:44,627
Once he's dissolved,
lower someone else into acid.
13
00:00:44,752 --> 00:00:46,629
Is he dissolved?
14
00:00:46,754 --> 00:00:49,590
At least use the downtime
to reset the acid lower-er.
15
00:00:49,715 --> 00:00:51,592
I really don't like
the attitude around here.
16
00:00:51,676 --> 00:00:54,220
It's a very "lower me into acid"
attitude.
17
00:00:56,556 --> 00:00:57,473
Who are you?
18
00:00:58,808 --> 00:01:00,258
How did you reach my sanctum?
19
00:01:01,352 --> 00:01:02,561
All right, this is going in circles.
20
00:01:02,645 --> 00:01:04,313
Seize him!
21
00:01:04,438 --> 00:01:06,232
- Aah!
- Aah!
22
00:01:14,699 --> 00:01:16,117
- Aah!
- Aah!
23
00:01:21,289 --> 00:01:22,373
Very well.
24
00:01:22,498 --> 00:01:24,792
Now I will fight you.
25
00:01:25,751 --> 00:01:27,544
Anyway, he tells a different
version of the story
26
00:01:27,628 --> 00:01:29,463
where I start crying or something.
27
00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:31,632
That's why he has to die.
28
00:01:31,757 --> 00:01:33,050
'Cause he's a liar.
29
00:01:33,175 --> 00:01:34,302
So...
30
00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:36,303
Why are you going to kill Rick Sanchez?
31
00:01:36,387 --> 00:01:37,638
Okay, I don't know who that is.
32
00:01:37,722 --> 00:01:39,389
I don't accept your weird leap in logic
33
00:01:39,473 --> 00:01:41,475
that has everyone on a train
going to kill one guy.
34
00:01:41,559 --> 00:01:43,644
And even if I did,
why would we take turns
35
00:01:43,769 --> 00:01:44,811
telling stories about it like
36
00:01:44,895 --> 00:01:46,063
little girls at a sleepover?
37
00:01:46,147 --> 00:01:47,697
If you're trying to be hurtful,
38
00:01:47,815 --> 00:01:48,982
you're doing a good job.
39
00:01:49,066 --> 00:01:50,318
I'll take his turn.
40
00:01:50,443 --> 00:01:52,194
Here's why I'm going
to kill Rick Sanchez.
41
00:01:52,278 --> 00:01:53,570
You guys have fun with this.
42
00:01:53,654 --> 00:01:55,197
Dissolve to a clam-shaped sun
43
00:01:55,323 --> 00:01:57,116
rising over a giant beach.
44
00:01:57,241 --> 00:01:58,659
Whew.
45
00:01:58,784 --> 00:02:00,327
By then, of course, he had left toys
46
00:02:00,411 --> 00:02:03,539
and flesh drops for every
one of us in the spore-hive.
47
00:02:03,664 --> 00:02:04,915
Ah, a newcomer!
48
00:02:05,041 --> 00:02:06,500
I suppose you think you have
a better story
49
00:02:06,584 --> 00:02:09,420
about how Rick Sanchez
saved Space Christmas.
50
00:02:09,545 --> 00:02:11,881
What is with the Rick Sanchez obsession?
51
00:02:13,299 --> 00:02:15,008
I think the best way to answer that
52
00:02:15,092 --> 00:02:17,345
is with my Christmas Rick Tale.
53
00:02:19,055 --> 00:02:20,056
Whoo!
54
00:02:20,181 --> 00:02:21,807
Could've used Rudolph tonight!
55
00:02:21,932 --> 00:02:23,559
Oh, thank God.
I'm not too late.
56
00:02:23,684 --> 00:02:24,851
I don't know how to thank you, Goomby.
57
00:02:24,935 --> 00:02:26,103
No need.
58
00:02:26,228 --> 00:02:27,521
You just go in there
and have a nice time.
59
00:02:27,605 --> 00:02:29,190
I will. Thanks.
60
00:02:32,610 --> 00:02:33,819
Hey.
61
00:02:33,944 --> 00:02:35,321
Merry Christmas, Goomby.
62
00:02:35,446 --> 00:02:37,239
Merry Christmas, Rick.
63
00:02:37,365 --> 00:02:38,491
Oh. Uh...
64
00:02:38,616 --> 00:02:39,867
Oh, it's okay.
65
00:02:39,992 --> 00:02:41,285
I-I don't have to.
Sorry if that was...
66
00:02:41,369 --> 00:02:42,620
No. Um, um,
I can ask.
67
00:02:42,745 --> 00:02:43,954
No, no, no, I don't wanna be a burden.
68
00:02:44,038 --> 00:02:45,581
Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah, there's just...
69
00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:46,832
There's a lot of people.
Family. You know?
70
00:02:46,916 --> 00:02:47,833
I get it.
71
00:02:47,958 --> 00:02:48,917
- You're not mad?
- Totally fine.
72
00:02:49,001 --> 00:02:50,336
Bye.
73
00:02:57,176 --> 00:02:58,635
That... Okay, none of my business
74
00:02:58,719 --> 00:03:00,095
but he didn't even save
Christmas in that story.
75
00:03:00,179 --> 00:03:01,222
Oh, how dare you!
76
00:03:01,347 --> 00:03:02,556
That doesn't mean I'm invested.
77
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:03,932
Tell your Christmas Rick story!
78
00:03:04,016 --> 00:03:05,851
Step the hell back!
Back!
79
00:03:11,524 --> 00:03:13,191
You start teeing up
a Rick Sanchez vignette,
80
00:03:13,275 --> 00:03:14,985
and you'll be doing it through two holes.
81
00:03:15,069 --> 00:03:16,778
I'm just trying to figure out
what's going on with this train.
82
00:03:16,862 --> 00:03:18,113
Do you remember getting on it?
83
00:03:18,197 --> 00:03:20,825
No. First thing
I remember is...
84
00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:22,702
Tickets, please.
85
00:03:23,911 --> 00:03:26,914
So, why did you date Rick Sanchez?
86
00:03:27,039 --> 00:03:28,374
What?
87
00:03:28,499 --> 00:03:30,042
Oh, you don't have to pretend
you didn't date him.
88
00:03:30,126 --> 00:03:31,752
We all did.
We get it.
89
00:03:31,877 --> 00:03:35,297
Low point in your life,
rebound from an ex, et cetera.
90
00:03:35,423 --> 00:03:36,632
No, really, who?
91
00:03:36,757 --> 00:03:38,759
Oh, exactly.
92
00:03:38,884 --> 00:03:42,888
In fact, and get this,
when he met my family...
93
00:03:43,013 --> 00:03:44,348
Aah!
94
00:03:45,599 --> 00:03:47,852
Leah!
Leah, check it out.
95
00:03:47,977 --> 00:03:49,019
Where'd you meet this, um
96
00:03:49,103 --> 00:03:50,938
sprite?
97
00:03:51,063 --> 00:03:53,190
He's actually a human.
98
00:03:53,315 --> 00:03:55,776
But he invented portal tech?
99
00:03:55,901 --> 00:03:57,611
I am the concept of time.
100
00:03:57,737 --> 00:03:58,696
Jesus!
101
00:03:58,821 --> 00:04:00,030
I warned you not to do that.
102
00:04:00,114 --> 00:04:01,990
- I wasn't trying.
- You don't have to.
103
00:04:02,074 --> 00:04:03,325
The train is obviously amplifying
104
00:04:03,409 --> 00:04:04,868
and linking unrelated narrative fields.
105
00:04:04,952 --> 00:04:06,162
Uh-huh...
106
00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:07,954
Morty? I told you if you
found me again,
107
00:04:08,038 --> 00:04:09,415
identify yourself.
108
00:04:09,540 --> 00:04:11,208
I didn't know it was you.
109
00:04:11,333 --> 00:04:12,501
How did you not recognize me?
110
00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:13,960
Didn't you create the disguises?
111
00:04:14,044 --> 00:04:15,837
When I create shit, it works, Morty.
112
00:04:15,921 --> 00:04:17,047
It's called being talented.
113
00:04:17,131 --> 00:04:18,340
Why can't we find the engine?
114
00:04:18,424 --> 00:04:20,467
It's not a real train,
it's a story device.
115
00:04:20,551 --> 00:04:22,720
Literally.
A literal literary device
116
00:04:22,845 --> 00:04:25,097
quite literally
metaphorically containing us.
117
00:04:25,222 --> 00:04:26,098
A simulation.
118
00:04:26,223 --> 00:04:27,600
Worse.
An anthology.
119
00:04:27,725 --> 00:04:29,309
Okay, so how... how do we hijack it?
120
00:04:29,393 --> 00:04:30,769
Oh, Morty, it's been hijacked
121
00:04:30,853 --> 00:04:32,270
for at least two full minutes.
122
00:04:32,354 --> 00:04:34,398
Are you not hearing
this insane conversation?
123
00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:36,901
Okay, Tickets Please Guy,
stop the anthology.
124
00:04:37,026 --> 00:04:39,027
If we wanted one-offs,
we'd do Interdimensional Cable,
125
00:04:39,111 --> 00:04:41,071
not some uptight, overwritten...
126
00:04:41,197 --> 00:04:42,615
- Rick?
- God damn!
127
00:04:42,740 --> 00:04:43,866
Tickets, please.
128
00:04:43,991 --> 00:04:45,158
Dude, I'm sure you've got, like,
129
00:04:45,242 --> 00:04:46,952
so many tickets at this point.
130
00:04:47,077 --> 00:04:49,330
Jesus! The Tickets Please guy
is cut!
131
00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:51,081
He... he... he's... he's
got those things.
132
00:04:51,165 --> 00:04:53,166
W-What do you call them.
Uhm, cum gutters.
133
00:04:53,250 --> 00:04:54,710
- Morty, gross!
- That's what people call them.
134
00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:56,294
Gross people. I don't
want to have to picture
135
00:04:56,378 --> 00:04:58,506
cum so watery in such volumes that...
136
00:04:58,631 --> 00:04:59,965
Hey, hey, hey, stay back.
137
00:05:00,090 --> 00:05:01,550
I'll kick you.
I-I'll kick your shin, bro.
138
00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:03,135
- Aaah!
- Hey!
139
00:05:03,260 --> 00:05:05,429
I'll fuckin' cook and eat
your ticket-taking ass.
140
00:05:05,513 --> 00:05:07,640
Hey, I found a ticket.
141
00:05:09,141 --> 00:05:11,477
Wow, you are just...
Ladies and gentlemen,
142
00:05:11,602 --> 00:05:13,395
the Jackie Chan of human shielding.
143
00:05:13,521 --> 00:05:14,813
Who takes the time to get this good at...
144
00:05:14,897 --> 00:05:15,981
Fuck this.
145
00:05:16,106 --> 00:05:17,608
-Aaah
-Structural breach.
146
00:05:17,733 --> 00:05:18,984
Losing continuity.
147
00:05:19,109 --> 00:05:20,509
Morty, hold on to something.
148
00:05:20,611 --> 00:05:21,528
Keep your head inside.
149
00:05:21,612 --> 00:05:22,696
Aaah!
150
00:05:27,576 --> 00:05:28,827
Share with your sister, Josh.
151
00:05:28,911 --> 00:05:30,162
Just because it's your
birthday doesn't mean
152
00:05:30,246 --> 00:05:31,664
you can be an asshole.
153
00:05:31,789 --> 00:05:33,749
- You okay, Dad?
- Is this real?
154
00:05:33,874 --> 00:05:35,125
I doubt it, but you get what you get
155
00:05:35,209 --> 00:05:36,376
when you eat dinner in an arcade.
156
00:05:36,460 --> 00:05:38,671
I mean are you real, is life real?
157
00:05:38,796 --> 00:05:40,380
Okay, I'm calling the nurse
because you are not
158
00:05:40,464 --> 00:05:41,923
- doing this tonight.
- You're God damn right
159
00:05:42,007 --> 00:05:44,092
- I'm not because...
- You are not doing this tonight!
160
00:05:44,176 --> 00:05:45,386
This isn't real life!
161
00:05:45,511 --> 00:05:46,845
- Dad? Oh, my God!
- Honey. Sweetie.
162
00:05:46,929 --> 00:05:48,013
- What's happening?
- Give me your tickets.
163
00:05:48,097 --> 00:05:49,390
I... I need tickets.
164
00:05:49,515 --> 00:05:52,726
Everyone give me tickeeeeeettttttts!
165
00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:54,228
Aaaah!
166
00:05:55,229 --> 00:05:56,856
Aaah!
167
00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:00,693
Emergency continuity deployed.
168
00:06:05,406 --> 00:06:07,032
- This could come in handy.
- Can't we just ride out the...
169
00:06:07,116 --> 00:06:08,450
Fuck you, I'd rather die.
170
00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:10,160
Train cops! Hands in the air!
171
00:06:10,286 --> 00:06:11,578
Tee up a story about Rick Sanchez!
172
00:06:11,662 --> 00:06:13,062
- He is Rick!
- Jesus Christ!
173
00:06:13,163 --> 00:06:14,539
Is that the Tickets Please Guy?
174
00:06:14,623 --> 00:06:15,875
Well, just the stub.
175
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,209
- Too soon!
- Too soon!
176
00:06:17,334 --> 00:06:18,961
Don't move! Too soon!
177
00:06:20,921 --> 00:06:23,215
So, what did the Train Cops do wrong?
178
00:06:23,340 --> 00:06:24,884
Shot... people?
179
00:06:25,009 --> 00:06:26,635
- Shot passengers.
- Wrong.
180
00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:28,804
The passengers tampered
with the anthology's structure.
181
00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:30,305
Lethal response was permitted,
182
00:06:30,389 --> 00:06:32,600
but not with him holding that tank.
183
00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:34,434
Let's take a look at what
they should have done.
184
00:06:34,518 --> 00:06:35,727
Train cops!
Hands in the air!
185
00:06:35,811 --> 00:06:37,062
- Drop the tank!
- Drop it!
186
00:06:37,146 --> 00:06:38,606
Drop it! Drop the tank.
187
00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:42,901
Sorry to nitpick, sir, but if there was
188
00:06:42,985 --> 00:06:45,988
a continuity explosion,
isn't there always one?
189
00:06:46,113 --> 00:06:47,948
And doesn't that mean
those two could be anywhere?
190
00:06:48,032 --> 00:06:49,782
What? No, you idiot,
that... it's...
191
00:06:49,867 --> 00:06:51,910
It's just a training video.
That didn't actually happen.
192
00:06:51,994 --> 00:06:52,953
That's what you think.
193
00:06:53,037 --> 00:06:54,580
Hey.
How'd you get here?
194
00:06:54,705 --> 00:06:56,206
Yeah, like we're the ones
that popped up out of nowhere?
195
00:06:56,290 --> 00:06:57,166
Fuck these guys.
196
00:07:00,878 --> 00:07:02,629
Hey, what the hell?
Your leg is healed.
197
00:07:02,713 --> 00:07:04,298
Yeah, it's a real free-for-all.
198
00:07:04,423 --> 00:07:05,841
Here we go.
199
00:07:05,966 --> 00:07:07,425
Of course this thing is
just a fucking circle.
200
00:07:07,509 --> 00:07:09,135
You'd think it was so
God damn complicated ...
201
00:07:09,219 --> 00:07:11,639
Okay, here's where
the stupid vignettes were.
202
00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:13,473
God, imagine if that
had been the whole thing.
203
00:07:13,557 --> 00:07:17,311
So now we're here,
and the engine must be here.
204
00:07:17,436 --> 00:07:18,937
I'll have to rig us
a couple of space suits
205
00:07:19,021 --> 00:07:21,190
that start failing around here so we can
206
00:07:21,315 --> 00:07:22,483
pay a heavy price
207
00:07:22,608 --> 00:07:23,942
for re-entering at this threshold.
208
00:07:24,026 --> 00:07:25,376
We have to leave the train?
209
00:07:25,486 --> 00:07:27,028
We don't have to do anything, Morty.
210
00:07:27,112 --> 00:07:28,613
This is just a structural guide.
211
00:07:28,697 --> 00:07:30,782
We're obviously gonna
impart our own style.
212
00:07:30,866 --> 00:07:32,200
I don't like how meta
this is getting, Rick.
213
00:07:32,284 --> 00:07:33,451
Shut up, Morty.
You're 14.
214
00:07:33,535 --> 00:07:34,953
You watch videos of people on YouTube
215
00:07:35,037 --> 00:07:36,580
reacting to fucking YouTube.
216
00:07:36,705 --> 00:07:37,873
I'll be the judge of
when we get too meta.
217
00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:38,958
Holy shit.
218
00:07:39,083 --> 00:07:40,292
- How is he still breathing?
- Aah!
219
00:07:40,376 --> 00:07:41,961
He's suspended in disbelief,
220
00:07:42,086 --> 00:07:43,712
slowly dying while
living out an alternative
221
00:07:43,796 --> 00:07:45,005
non-diagetic reality.
222
00:07:45,130 --> 00:07:47,007
Geez, what a horrible way to die.
223
00:07:47,132 --> 00:07:48,091
You don't know the half of it.
224
00:07:48,175 --> 00:07:49,718
Oh!
225
00:07:49,843 --> 00:07:51,595
You're on fuego with the
guy-torn-in-half bits, Rick.
226
00:07:51,679 --> 00:07:52,888
That one was organic, though.
227
00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:54,472
That's because you're naturally funny.
228
00:07:54,556 --> 00:07:55,724
That... that's good old-fashioned fun
229
00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:57,142
right there, you know?
230
00:07:57,267 --> 00:07:58,602
W-w-we don't need
to over-think shit, okay?
231
00:07:58,686 --> 00:07:59,895
Okay, buddy.
Nice and grounded,
232
00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:01,629
fully immersive from here on out.
233
00:08:02,731 --> 00:08:04,274
- Right after this.
- W-what's happening?
234
00:08:04,358 --> 00:08:05,567
Going into an act break.
235
00:08:06,402 --> 00:08:08,153
♪ Not quite a bird ♪
236
00:08:08,278 --> 00:08:10,155
♪ Not quite a person ♪
237
00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:11,532
♪ Maybe what matters ♪
238
00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:13,993
♪ Is to love
yourself first and ♪
239
00:08:14,118 --> 00:08:15,619
♪ Soar ♪
240
00:08:15,744 --> 00:08:17,454
♪ Child of air and land ♪
241
00:08:17,579 --> 00:08:19,707
♪ With wings and hands ♪
242
00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:21,583
♪ Yes, you're a bird
and a person ♪
243
00:08:21,709 --> 00:08:23,794
♪ I'm a bird
and a person ♪
244
00:08:23,919 --> 00:08:25,671
♪ And more ♪
245
00:08:25,796 --> 00:08:27,464
Sure, that was a great moment,
246
00:08:27,589 --> 00:08:28,590
but it was hardly the best time
247
00:08:28,674 --> 00:08:29,716
Rick and Morty were musical.
248
00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,010
Who can forget the t...
249
00:08:31,135 --> 00:08:32,928
Hey. You guys
think there's something weird
250
00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:34,179
about this train?
251
00:08:34,304 --> 00:08:35,347
We've been here a really long time
252
00:08:35,431 --> 00:08:36,556
and nobody's taken our tickets.
253
00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:37,766
Aaah!
254
00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:41,437
Aaaah!
255
00:08:41,562 --> 00:08:43,688
The galaxy's greatest scientists
continue to ponder
256
00:08:43,772 --> 00:08:46,483
the horrific figure known
to children as Floaty Blood Man.
257
00:08:46,567 --> 00:08:49,110
But after three months, nobody
is any closer to the truth.
258
00:08:49,194 --> 00:08:51,154
For Cutesy Name News, I'm Uncle Nibbles.
259
00:08:51,238 --> 00:08:53,449
I can't believe
Floaty Bloody Man is real.
260
00:08:53,574 --> 00:08:55,576
He's more than real, he's my new god.
261
00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:57,578
- Check it.
- Is that brand-new,
262
00:08:57,703 --> 00:08:59,621
- or is the blood just...
- Accurately depicted, yeah.
263
00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:01,755
His followers believe the entire universe
264
00:09:01,874 --> 00:09:03,708
is Floaty Bloody Man's
nightmare as he dies
265
00:09:03,792 --> 00:09:05,127
in a time-dilated reality.
266
00:09:05,252 --> 00:09:06,628
So we could go at any minute.
267
00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:09,048
No. I'm part of
the Floaty Nogasm Brotherhood.
268
00:09:09,173 --> 00:09:10,548
We believe we're keeping him alive
269
00:09:10,632 --> 00:09:13,010
by redirecting our suppressed
sexual energies.
270
00:09:13,135 --> 00:09:14,470
You're staying a virgin
271
00:09:14,595 --> 00:09:17,056
just to keep the universe existing?
272
00:09:17,181 --> 00:09:19,433
That's...
so attractive.
273
00:09:19,558 --> 00:09:20,642
It is?
274
00:09:20,768 --> 00:09:22,728
Okay, look, let's just do it once.
275
00:09:26,815 --> 00:09:28,442
Sorry.
276
00:09:29,443 --> 00:09:30,944
Aaah!
277
00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:32,487
- Happy now?
- He was suffering.
278
00:09:32,571 --> 00:09:33,822
Keep moving.
279
00:09:33,947 --> 00:09:35,407
We have to get to the return threshold
280
00:09:35,491 --> 00:09:36,866
before the ticking clock
on your suit gets to zero.
281
00:09:36,950 --> 00:09:38,118
Why would you put ticking clock...
282
00:09:38,202 --> 00:09:39,369
Because if it's too easy to get there,
283
00:09:39,453 --> 00:09:40,954
we'll never get there.
284
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,831
If you don't want to be meta
stop, deconstructing shit.
285
00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:44,541
That's the thematic seal.
286
00:09:44,666 --> 00:09:46,209
Gotta find a way to disrupt it.
287
00:09:46,293 --> 00:09:49,171
Okay, Morty, tell a story
unrelated to us.
288
00:09:49,296 --> 00:09:51,381
- Uh, what do...
- Stop thinking and do it!
289
00:09:51,465 --> 00:09:53,425
Uh, okay, uh, there was this...
290
00:09:53,550 --> 00:09:55,700
My name is Mike Johnson.
That's good coffee.
291
00:09:56,637 --> 00:09:58,305
Better get that door.
292
00:09:58,430 --> 00:09:59,973
Iiiiiiii, hello.
293
00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:01,308
I want your cookies.
294
00:10:01,433 --> 00:10:02,726
I'm hungry, I want your cookies.
295
00:10:02,810 --> 00:10:04,144
Scorpions, scorpions.
296
00:10:04,269 --> 00:10:06,271
There's scorpions outside.
Get inside.
297
00:10:06,396 --> 00:10:07,689
What do they want from us?
298
00:10:07,773 --> 00:10:09,274
- They want food.
- Me too.
299
00:10:09,399 --> 00:10:10,400
Okay, just stop.
300
00:10:10,526 --> 00:10:12,111
I'm not a writer, okay?
301
00:10:12,236 --> 00:10:13,987
Relax, your story was supposed
to be awful and stupid.
302
00:10:14,071 --> 00:10:15,238
I just failed to predict how well
303
00:10:15,322 --> 00:10:16,740
that would mesh with the theme.
304
00:10:16,824 --> 00:10:18,033
Think. Think.
305
00:10:18,158 --> 00:10:19,659
What kind of story would we never...
306
00:10:19,743 --> 00:10:21,745
Morty, do you know
what the Bechdel Test is?
307
00:10:21,829 --> 00:10:23,204
- The what?
- For God's sake, Morty,
308
00:10:23,288 --> 00:10:24,873
the formula for measuring female agency
309
00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:26,916
in a story proposed by
lesbian cartoonist Allison...
310
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:28,668
What the hell are they
teaching you in that school?!
311
00:10:28,752 --> 00:10:30,503
- Other stuff!
- Then you've killed us both!
312
00:10:30,587 --> 00:10:32,506
Why is lesbian part of her job title?!
313
00:10:32,631 --> 00:10:33,923
Oh, now you're progressive?!
314
00:10:34,007 --> 00:10:36,057
- What is the test?!
- You have to tell...
315
00:10:39,054 --> 00:10:41,098
Morty, Morty.
316
00:10:41,223 --> 00:10:43,642
Two women.
They both have to have names
317
00:10:43,767 --> 00:10:45,268
and talk to each other about something...
318
00:10:45,352 --> 00:10:46,687
Rick!
319
00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:48,772
- ...other than a man...
- Oh, Rick, listen to me.
320
00:10:48,856 --> 00:10:51,400
Once upon a time, my mom and my sister...
321
00:10:51,525 --> 00:10:53,110
Listen to me!
322
00:10:54,278 --> 00:10:56,196
Mom, can I try your tea?
323
00:10:56,321 --> 00:10:58,031
Yes, Summer.
324
00:10:58,157 --> 00:10:59,658
Yes. Try my tea.
325
00:10:59,783 --> 00:11:02,035
It's so good.
It's so warm.
326
00:11:02,161 --> 00:11:04,163
Mom, can I talk to you
327
00:11:04,288 --> 00:11:05,706
about my special time?
328
00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:07,916
It's okay.
I have one, too.
329
00:11:08,041 --> 00:11:09,126
Mine is heavy today.
330
00:11:09,251 --> 00:11:10,919
Mine is never light.
331
00:11:11,044 --> 00:11:12,796
I love you ever since you were
332
00:11:12,921 --> 00:11:14,089
mailed to me.
333
00:11:14,214 --> 00:11:15,757
By a doctor woman.
334
00:11:15,883 --> 00:11:17,300
Your special time is your power.
335
00:11:17,384 --> 00:11:19,469
It makes you strong like a boob.
336
00:11:19,595 --> 00:11:20,762
Strong against what?
337
00:11:20,888 --> 00:11:22,848
Scorpions.
Female Scorpions.
338
00:11:22,973 --> 00:11:24,975
They're attacking
outside. Come on.
339
00:11:27,477 --> 00:11:29,229
Fight them with your heavy special time.
340
00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:30,564
You do it, too.
341
00:11:37,905 --> 00:11:39,448
- Hello?
- Hello?
342
00:11:39,573 --> 00:11:42,284
I'm that Supreme Court lady,
and you fucking did it.
343
00:11:42,409 --> 00:11:44,536
- We did it!
- We did it!
344
00:11:49,249 --> 00:11:50,876
Great job, Morty.
345
00:11:51,001 --> 00:11:52,461
A feminist masterpiece.
346
00:11:52,586 --> 00:11:54,171
Hey, look.
347
00:11:57,925 --> 00:12:00,176
Guess who's got two penises
and all the agency?
348
00:12:00,260 --> 00:12:02,137
Rick and Morty.
349
00:12:02,262 --> 00:12:03,805
Story Lord.
350
00:12:03,931 --> 00:12:05,557
I should've known you were
behind this, and I did.
351
00:12:05,641 --> 00:12:06,841
- Who is this guy?
- Ugh.
352
00:12:06,934 --> 00:12:08,810
He's like a Matrix Space Frasier.
353
00:12:08,936 --> 00:12:10,019
Let's get this fight over with, nerd.
354
00:12:10,103 --> 00:12:11,188
I've got shit to do.
355
00:12:11,313 --> 00:12:12,730
You of all people know, Rick,
356
00:12:12,814 --> 00:12:15,192
there can be no destination
without a journey.
357
00:12:15,317 --> 00:12:17,443
I don't know that at all.
I regularly teleport.
358
00:12:17,527 --> 00:12:20,155
Oh, of course.
No rules for you.
359
00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:21,906
Spiraling through the multiverse,
360
00:12:21,990 --> 00:12:24,784
burping semi-improvised dialogue
about how nothing matters,
361
00:12:24,868 --> 00:12:27,329
so we may as well pull out
our dicks and rub them
362
00:12:27,454 --> 00:12:30,039
on fate's glaring teeth
like we're brushing fate's teeth
363
00:12:30,123 --> 00:12:32,209
but we're using your gross, dirty dick.
364
00:12:32,334 --> 00:12:33,418
Must be nice.
365
00:12:33,543 --> 00:12:34,670
Nobody's stopping you.
366
00:12:34,795 --> 00:12:36,838
True. Not anymore.
367
00:12:38,048 --> 00:12:39,340
- Goddamn!
- We already did this.
368
00:12:39,424 --> 00:12:41,510
Oh, is this a double beat?
Oh, well.
369
00:12:41,635 --> 00:12:43,428
Just how I adventure, dawg.
370
00:12:43,553 --> 00:12:44,637
This is more impressive than
371
00:12:44,721 --> 00:12:45,889
the Tickets Please Guy, though.
372
00:12:45,973 --> 00:12:47,516
You are like 90% cum gutter.
373
00:12:47,641 --> 00:12:50,727
It's called discipline.
Watch this.
374
00:12:51,228 --> 00:12:52,479
- God damn.
- Geez!
375
00:12:52,604 --> 00:12:53,646
Do we have to fight him?
376
00:12:53,730 --> 00:12:54,898
I don't want to.
377
00:12:55,023 --> 00:12:56,482
We surrender.
We're not fighting.
378
00:12:56,566 --> 00:12:57,526
Ow!
379
00:12:57,651 --> 00:12:58,694
Ow!
380
00:12:58,819 --> 00:13:00,404
Fucking kick your ass.
381
00:13:00,529 --> 00:13:01,405
Ow!
382
00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:02,823
Oh!
383
00:13:02,948 --> 00:13:05,033
Hey! Get back in your egg!
384
00:13:06,702 --> 00:13:07,952
- What the...
- Don't worry, Morty!
385
00:13:08,036 --> 00:13:09,386
Nothing out there is canon!
386
00:13:10,414 --> 00:13:11,915
- We've got a pulse.
- Stay with me, Private.
387
00:13:11,999 --> 00:13:13,708
Smith, listen to me.
You were exposed
388
00:13:13,792 --> 00:13:15,752
to a chemical that is altering your mind.
389
00:13:15,836 --> 00:13:17,045
To beat it, you have to hold on...
390
00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:18,088
We're losing him.
391
00:13:18,213 --> 00:13:19,756
Aliens. Sarge?!
392
00:13:19,881 --> 00:13:22,217
Morty, never forget the highest
truth of all...
393
00:13:22,342 --> 00:13:24,469
You're getting your
ass kicked on a train.
394
00:13:25,595 --> 00:13:26,930
Professor Sanchez?
395
00:13:27,055 --> 00:13:28,015
Did it work?
396
00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:29,766
I wouldn't say that, Marcus.
397
00:13:29,891 --> 00:13:32,352
I'd say it fucking worked.
398
00:13:32,477 --> 00:13:35,105
100% time dilation and total immersion.
399
00:13:35,230 --> 00:13:36,565
- Define "total."
- Marcus,
400
00:13:36,690 --> 00:13:38,399
I've been back in reality
for three hours,
401
00:13:38,483 --> 00:13:40,652
and I still have memories
of a completely different life.
402
00:13:40,736 --> 00:13:42,571
I-I-I was a scientist still.
403
00:13:42,696 --> 00:13:44,364
I-I-I was... I-I-I had developed
404
00:13:44,489 --> 00:13:47,451
inter-dimensional travel,
I-I-I-I had a daughter.
405
00:13:47,576 --> 00:13:49,119
I-I didn't have a mustache.
406
00:13:49,244 --> 00:13:53,290
I-I was kinda funny sometimes,
mostly burping.
407
00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:54,750
No more secret testing.
408
00:13:54,875 --> 00:13:56,168
I can help people now.
409
00:13:56,293 --> 00:13:57,377
You've helped people.
410
00:13:57,502 --> 00:13:58,670
I've hurt more.
411
00:13:58,795 --> 00:14:00,088
Aaah!
412
00:14:00,213 --> 00:14:02,048
P-P-Professor Sanchez.
I-I'm Morty Smith
413
00:14:02,132 --> 00:14:03,633
from the... the... the the 241st.
414
00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:05,134
They... they... put your
pill in our food.
415
00:14:05,218 --> 00:14:06,761
- It... it works.
- Call the police!
416
00:14:06,845 --> 00:14:08,554
It's okay. It's okay.
It's not real.
417
00:14:08,638 --> 00:14:10,182
N-n-n-n-nothing's real.
418
00:14:10,307 --> 00:14:11,391
I'm sorry, son.
419
00:14:11,516 --> 00:14:13,226
I-i-it's okay.
You aren't real.
420
00:14:15,145 --> 00:14:17,814
God, you're right.
I should do more freeform stuff.
421
00:14:17,939 --> 00:14:19,941
- In you go.
- What's happening?
422
00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:21,567
The reason I brought you here.
423
00:14:21,651 --> 00:14:23,612
I'll now fuel my anthology with your
424
00:14:23,737 --> 00:14:25,405
limitless potential, propelling it to
425
00:14:25,489 --> 00:14:28,658
its final stop... beyond the fifth wall.
426
00:14:30,911 --> 00:14:33,205
You idiot. Our potential
isn't limitless.
427
00:14:33,330 --> 00:14:34,455
You'll never break the fifth wall
428
00:14:34,539 --> 00:14:35,665
before you've burnt us out.
429
00:14:35,749 --> 00:14:38,377
Is that so?
Oh, well. Win-win.
430
00:14:38,502 --> 00:14:39,702
Rick, w-what's he doing?
431
00:14:39,795 --> 00:14:41,254
He's trying to tap into us, Morty.
432
00:14:41,338 --> 00:14:43,173
Resist.
433
00:14:43,298 --> 00:14:45,425
I can't believe you're finally
headed off to college.
434
00:14:45,509 --> 00:14:46,843
Yeah, you know, it really felt like
435
00:14:46,927 --> 00:14:48,344
you were gonna be 17 forever.
436
00:14:48,428 --> 00:14:50,347
For, like, 16 years, at least.
437
00:14:50,472 --> 00:14:52,473
I can't believe I'm tearing up over this.
438
00:14:52,557 --> 00:14:54,934
Jesus, Rick, you know,
you've really softened up.
439
00:14:55,018 --> 00:14:56,478
It's a human moment, Morty.
440
00:14:56,603 --> 00:14:58,188
It's a human moment.
441
00:14:58,313 --> 00:15:00,107
- Aaah!
- Aaah! It hurts!
442
00:15:06,279 --> 00:15:08,197
Abradolph Lincoler?
I thought you were dead.
443
00:15:08,281 --> 00:15:11,201
I'm very much alive,
and I need your help.
444
00:15:11,326 --> 00:15:12,661
Yeah!
445
00:15:12,786 --> 00:15:14,120
Shit. He's taking
the good stuff, Morty.
446
00:15:14,204 --> 00:15:15,830
Wait, is... is any of this canon?
447
00:15:15,914 --> 00:15:16,998
It could have been.
448
00:15:17,124 --> 00:15:18,708
Oh, dear.
449
00:15:18,834 --> 00:15:21,711
Are there things Rick Sanchez
holds sacred after all?
450
00:15:28,218 --> 00:15:29,594
How did you find us?
451
00:15:31,138 --> 00:15:32,389
I trusted you!
452
00:15:32,514 --> 00:15:34,641
Don't blame others
for your bad decisions.
453
00:15:36,518 --> 00:15:38,854
Resist, Morty!
Resist before he burns us out!
454
00:15:38,979 --> 00:15:40,564
Oh, too late now!
455
00:15:40,689 --> 00:15:41,898
What's wrong, Rick?
456
00:15:42,023 --> 00:15:44,192
Don't you want to see
how your story ends?!
457
00:15:57,873 --> 00:15:59,624
Holy shit, Rick.
What do we...
458
00:15:59,749 --> 00:16:00,917
There... there... there's now way out!
459
00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:02,252
You're right, Morty.
460
00:16:02,377 --> 00:16:04,003
Sometimes it does seem
like there's no way out.
461
00:16:04,087 --> 00:16:05,422
Like it's hopeless.
462
00:16:05,547 --> 00:16:07,757
But remember, there's always
someone there for us.
463
00:16:07,841 --> 00:16:09,050
Who?
464
00:16:09,176 --> 00:16:10,134
My best friend and personal savior,
465
00:16:10,218 --> 00:16:11,511
Jesus Christ.
466
00:16:11,636 --> 00:16:12,929
What?! You... you don't
believe in God.
467
00:16:13,013 --> 00:16:14,430
But He believes in us, Morty.
468
00:16:14,514 --> 00:16:16,265
You know, I thought I was the inventor,
469
00:16:16,349 --> 00:16:17,517
but the greatest invention of all
470
00:16:17,601 --> 00:16:19,102
is the free gift of Eternal Life.
471
00:16:19,186 --> 00:16:21,062
Is this... are you fucking with me?
472
00:16:21,188 --> 00:16:22,647
Oh, trust me, Morty.
473
00:16:22,772 --> 00:16:24,607
I've done plenty of
effed up stuff in my life.
474
00:16:24,691 --> 00:16:26,818
But it's never too late to accept Christ.
475
00:16:26,943 --> 00:16:28,444
Jesus is always knocking at the door.
476
00:16:28,528 --> 00:16:30,071
All we have to do is open it and let Him
477
00:16:30,155 --> 00:16:31,322
- into our hearts.
- How?
478
00:16:31,406 --> 00:16:32,740
I'm so glad you asked, Morty.
479
00:16:32,824 --> 00:16:34,867
Just close your eyes
and go to Him in prayer.
480
00:16:34,951 --> 00:16:36,203
Like this.
481
00:16:36,328 --> 00:16:37,995
- Heavenly Father.
- Heavenly Father.
482
00:16:38,079 --> 00:16:39,789
Thank you for sending
your only begotten son.
483
00:16:39,873 --> 00:16:41,773
What a second, no!
What are you doing?!
484
00:16:41,875 --> 00:16:43,835
Jesus, I accept you into my heart.
485
00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:45,212
No! This sucks.
486
00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:47,088
Stop! You guys would
never do this.
487
00:16:47,214 --> 00:16:48,507
Fill me with your Spirit.
488
00:16:48,632 --> 00:16:50,174
Make me a shining city on a hill for you.
489
00:16:50,258 --> 00:16:51,927
- No! No!
- Make me born again.
490
00:16:52,052 --> 00:16:53,720
- No!
- In Jesus' name, we pray.
491
00:16:53,845 --> 00:16:55,138
- Amen.
- Amen.
492
00:16:55,263 --> 00:16:56,723
- Amen!
- You did it!
493
00:16:56,848 --> 00:16:58,224
- Way to go, Morty!
- Crossy.
494
00:16:58,308 --> 00:16:59,475
Bible-Saurus.
You made it.
495
00:16:59,559 --> 00:17:01,520
We wouldn't miss this for anything!
496
00:17:01,645 --> 00:17:02,812
You said it,
Mr. Celery.
497
00:17:02,938 --> 00:17:04,773
What the fuck is all of this?!
498
00:17:04,898 --> 00:17:06,649
Greatest story ever told, Story Lord.
499
00:17:06,733 --> 00:17:08,485
No, it's not.
It's awful!
500
00:17:10,153 --> 00:17:11,655
I beg your pardon?
501
00:17:11,780 --> 00:17:13,448
Ah!
502
00:17:13,573 --> 00:17:15,200
Goddamn.
503
00:17:15,325 --> 00:17:17,118
My Lord and my God!
504
00:17:17,244 --> 00:17:18,703
- No! No! It sucks in here.
- Let's get the fuck
505
00:17:18,787 --> 00:17:20,622
outta here. Go, now.
506
00:17:20,747 --> 00:17:22,123
Ugh.
We're safe, Morty.
507
00:17:22,249 --> 00:17:23,833
Nobody ever wanted to see that shit.
508
00:17:23,917 --> 00:17:25,626
Wh-what's gonna happen to Story Lord?
509
00:17:25,710 --> 00:17:27,962
He gets to spend eternity in
every writer's hell...
510
00:17:28,046 --> 00:17:29,297
- The Bible.
- I don't know.
511
00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:31,174
Some people actually like that stuff.
512
00:17:31,258 --> 00:17:32,676
Seems kind of cynical.
513
00:17:32,801 --> 00:17:34,343
I just don't like taking
cheap shots, you know?
514
00:17:34,427 --> 00:17:36,137
Cheap shots?
Morty, we were literally
515
00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:37,514
saved by Jesus Christ.
516
00:17:37,639 --> 00:17:39,432
Tell me in any way how that's offensive.
517
00:17:39,516 --> 00:17:41,059
This was a little confusing,
518
00:17:41,184 --> 00:17:43,102
but I guess it brought us
closer together, you know?
519
00:17:43,186 --> 00:17:44,563
Tested our demons.
520
00:17:44,688 --> 00:17:46,189
Made us believe in
ourselves more than ever.
521
00:17:46,273 --> 00:17:47,566
Yeah.
You're right, Morty.
522
00:17:47,691 --> 00:17:49,358
We got all that meta-canon
shit outta the way
523
00:17:49,442 --> 00:17:51,092
and now we can just be ourselves.
524
00:17:51,194 --> 00:17:52,820
Now what do you say we bring this train
525
00:17:52,904 --> 00:17:54,489
into the station.
526
00:18:03,957 --> 00:18:06,418
Oh, shit.
527
00:18:06,543 --> 00:18:08,003
So what do you think?
528
00:18:08,128 --> 00:18:09,462
Wow. Where did you
get this thing?
529
00:18:09,546 --> 00:18:11,172
The Citadel of Ricks Gift Shop.
530
00:18:11,298 --> 00:18:13,799
Do you really like it?
I didn't think you'd even care.
531
00:18:13,883 --> 00:18:15,969
What? Morty. No.
I love it.
532
00:18:16,094 --> 00:18:17,720
You did the most important thing.
533
00:18:17,804 --> 00:18:19,096
You... you bought something.
534
00:18:19,180 --> 00:18:20,556
- What?
- You bought something.
535
00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:23,226
With money. God.
I love money so much, Morty.
536
00:18:23,351 --> 00:18:25,394
- Are you being sarcastic?
- Merchandise, Morty.
537
00:18:25,478 --> 00:18:28,064
Your only purpose in life is to
buy and consume merchandise.
538
00:18:28,148 --> 00:18:29,690
And you did it.
You went into a store...
539
00:18:29,774 --> 00:18:32,485
An actual honest to God store...
And you bought something.
540
00:18:32,569 --> 00:18:34,487
You didn't ask questions
or raise ethical complaints.
541
00:18:34,571 --> 00:18:36,447
You... you just looked straight
into the bleeding jaws
542
00:18:36,531 --> 00:18:38,742
of capitalism
and said "Yes, daddy, please."
543
00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:41,161
And I'm...
I'm so proud of you.
544
00:18:41,286 --> 00:18:42,578
I only wish you could've bought more.
545
00:18:42,662 --> 00:18:45,040
I... I love buying things so much, Morty.
546
00:18:45,165 --> 00:18:46,333
Rick, are... are you...
547
00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:47,750
Do you need to go to the hospital?
548
00:18:47,834 --> 00:18:50,045
I love you, Morty.
Give Grandpa a kiss.
549
00:18:50,170 --> 00:18:51,921
Give... give... gimme...
Give Grandpa a kiss.
550
00:18:52,005 --> 00:18:53,214
Lips if you want.
551
00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:54,590
What... whatever you're comfortable with.
552
00:18:54,674 --> 00:18:55,842
Some cultures do that.
553
00:18:55,967 --> 00:18:57,719
That was sweet.
Thank you.
554
00:18:57,844 --> 00:19:00,180
I... I love you.
You're my little buddy.
555
00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:01,848
Okay.
556
00:19:01,973 --> 00:19:03,973
Let's watch some Interdimensional Cable.
557
00:19:08,772 --> 00:19:10,440
So you're saying my father
558
00:19:10,565 --> 00:19:11,941
and His kingdom...
559
00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:14,819
Well, yes... it's based on the fusion
560
00:19:14,944 --> 00:19:16,363
of a Sumerian god named "Ya"
561
00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:19,157
and a Mesopotamian god
named "Way."
562
00:19:19,282 --> 00:19:21,618
And we're in a toy train?
563
00:19:21,743 --> 00:19:23,078
Yes.
564
00:19:23,203 --> 00:19:24,453
It's enough to really make you question
565
00:19:24,537 --> 00:19:26,414
all of existence, isn't it?
566
00:19:26,539 --> 00:19:28,917
So what do you think you're
gonna do about it?
567
00:19:29,042 --> 00:19:32,128
I'm gonna do what I've always done.
568
00:19:32,253 --> 00:19:34,172
I'm gonna get the fuck outta here.
569
00:19:34,297 --> 00:19:38,760
Father of omens!
Give me blood beyond sight!
570
00:19:41,179 --> 00:19:42,764
Hey, what the fuck, Morty?
571
00:19:42,889 --> 00:19:44,515
The train you got me just
completely derailed itself.
572
00:19:44,599 --> 00:19:46,058
There's blood all over the windows on it.
573
00:19:46,142 --> 00:19:48,102
Oh, man, I'm sorry, Rick.
I guess I'll return it.
574
00:19:48,186 --> 00:19:49,479
Return... Are you insane?
575
00:19:49,604 --> 00:19:50,688
Did you hear nothing I said?
576
00:19:50,772 --> 00:19:51,922
Buy another one, Morty.
577
00:19:52,023 --> 00:19:53,483
Consume, Morty.
578
00:19:53,608 --> 00:19:55,526
Nobody's out there shopping
with this fucking virus.
579
00:19:55,610 --> 00:19:57,070
Where's your fucking wallet?!
580
00:20:27,684 --> 00:20:29,226
Tired of the same boring adventures
581
00:20:29,310 --> 00:20:30,510
with your dogshit Morty?
582
00:20:30,603 --> 00:20:32,313
- Yeah!
- Aw. Geez.
583
00:20:32,439 --> 00:20:34,649
Then get ready for the Citadel
of Rick's Story Train.
584
00:20:34,733 --> 00:20:36,192
Story Train.
Story Train.
585
00:20:36,317 --> 00:20:37,818
The Citadel of Rick's Story Train
586
00:20:37,902 --> 00:20:39,862
comes with car after car
of enemies, lovers,
587
00:20:39,946 --> 00:20:41,364
and Goomby, all grappling with
588
00:20:41,448 --> 00:20:42,573
the nature of who you truly are.
589
00:20:42,657 --> 00:20:44,075
Rick is a god!
Tickets Please.
590
00:20:44,159 --> 00:20:45,660
Whoa! Watch out!
It's Story Lord!
591
00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:46,953
Damn. He's jacked.
592
00:20:47,078 --> 00:20:48,580
Pure cum gutter.
593
00:20:48,705 --> 00:20:50,414
And of course, what
story would be complete
594
00:20:50,498 --> 00:20:52,124
without the engineer of
the Greatest Story Ever Told.
595
00:20:52,208 --> 00:20:53,209
Oh, Jesus Christ.
596
00:20:53,334 --> 00:20:54,534
I have come not to judge
597
00:20:54,627 --> 00:20:56,254
the world, but to save it.
598
00:20:56,379 --> 00:20:58,047
And the best part is, the fun never ends.
599
00:20:58,131 --> 00:20:59,507
Thanks to the Rick-patented
anthology generator,
600
00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:00,966
you'll never run out of new stories
601
00:21:01,050 --> 00:21:02,176
and people to tell them.
602
00:21:02,260 --> 00:21:03,594
- Are they alive?
- Of course.
603
00:21:03,678 --> 00:21:04,970
But not in any ways that matter.
604
00:21:05,054 --> 00:21:06,431
They. Have. No. Souls.
605
00:21:06,556 --> 00:21:07,766
Puppets. Of. Fate.
606
00:21:07,891 --> 00:21:09,225
The Story Train.
607
00:21:09,350 --> 00:21:11,018
Available now in The Citadel of Ricks.
608
00:21:11,102 --> 00:21:12,520
Buy it ironically.
Buy it sincerely. Just buy it.
609
00:21:12,604 --> 00:21:13,896
Not buying it is an act of buying it.
610
00:21:13,980 --> 00:21:15,147
Buy it now. Look it up.
It's real.
611
00:21:15,231 --> 00:21:16,941
www.story-train.com.
612
00:21:17,066 --> 00:21:18,943
On the Internet. It's there.
Buy it. Buy the train.
613
00:21:19,027 --> 00:21:20,477
We want you to buy the train.
43879
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