All language subtitles for Call.The.Midwife.S11E06.1080p.HDTV.H264-ORGANiC

Whether we pray, or do not pray...

each new day commences
with an act of faith.

We turn our faces to a
future we have yet to meet,

always believing that
what will be, must be.

That we will not break,
no matter what we give,

or lose, or must receive.

Our yesterdays never return.

We must keep looking forward,

trusting, letting go.

Saying, "This is the
day the Lord has made."

"We will rejoice and be glad in it."

Even when it hurts.

Welcome back, Nurse Robinson.

Thank you.

Good morning, everyone.

It's nice to see you back at work.

Is Teddy settling in at school?

He is now so eager to
get into the playground,

he hardly has time
for a goodbye cuddle.

They do grow up
quickly, don't they?

I used to cling on to my
mother's knees so tightly at

the school gates, I had to
be prised off, like a limpet.

Have we heard anything from Trixie?

She sent an aerogramme.

Her Godmother's still in hospital,

so she's running in and out
with toiletries and nightwear.

Ladies, please cease
chit-chatting and pay attention.

In the absence of Nurses Crane
and Franklin, we do have something

of a build-up of
district home visits.

I calculate that if we are strict
with time, it will be possible

to do, well, at least
two extra per day.

Sister Monica Joan.

You cannot be climbing
on furniture at your age!

A bird has come into our home.

Oh, cover your eyes!
They always go for the eyes.

How do you know? I saw it
in an Alfred Hitchcock film.

Kindly collect yourself,

Nurse Corrigan, and fetch
Mr Buckle from the shop.

A bird in a house presages bad news.

Not necessarily. It might
just be lost. Or a bit scared.

What kind of bird is it?

Ooh! Ooh!

An increasingly angry one.

What on earth is going on?

There's someone among us
about to meet our Maker.

The only one that is going to meet
our Maker is that bird. Ooh!

Sister Monica Joan.

This is a simple, practical
challenge.

There is no need to need to inflame
the situation by invoking folklore.

Hmm...

a bird indoors, eh?

The old Grim Reaper must
have someone in his sights.

Two extra visits.

There'll barely be any time
for, "Hello. How are you?"

We'll be run off our feet.
Death by exhaustion.

That's what that
bird is warning of.

Oh, idle hands do the Devil's work.

Well, he'll be getting no help
from me today, that's for sure.

Nurse Robinson. How nice to see you.

You too, Miss Higgins.

Please excuse me for one moment.

Dr Turner's Surgery. How may I help?

Of course, we will
have someone waiting.

Mrs Singh from Walpole Road is
en route, apparently in labour.

Would you like to take the delivery?

Or I could.

I'll be on hand if you
require support. Of course.

Welcome, gentlemen,

to the quarterly meeting of
the District Health Committee.

Item one on the agenda
measles vaccination.

This, Sister, is a tried
and tested method...

since we were poachers
on the marshes of Essex.

This speaks of grief to come.

We are to lose someone.

Can I help you, Sister?

Given your passion for
the esoteric, quite possibly.

Do you refer to my association
with the spiritualist church?

If you are genuinely interested,
the meetings take place locally.

A message has been conveyed to me.

I seek assistance in interpretation.

Well, there I must disappoint you.

Spiritualism is a religion,
not a parlour game.

The mediums I know do not dabble
in reading the runes

and gazing into the crystal ball.

Such things are pure theater.

I speak not of theater,
I speak of life... and death.

We all have our allotted span.

If I am to be called,
I wish to know,

in order that I might
prepare myself.

Well, one possibility comes to mind.

Have you heard of a Mrs Greenhalgh?

She was well known
as a clairvoyant...

in the East End in years gone by.

It's not far at all.

The committee concludes that

individual surgeries may set
their own policy as regards

to measles vaccination.

We have discussed the Council's
offer of a five-shilling bonus

per patient vaccinated, but most
regard this as a lot of paperwork

for little reward.

If I might interrupt briefly.

Contributions, Dr Turner,
must come through the Chair.

Item two...

Measles could be eradicated
if we took a systematic approach.

That must be the motivation,
not the five-shilling bonus per jab.

Your tone is becoming intemperate.

I have a nine-year-old boy
attending my surgery who is blind

as a result of acute measles.

Another suffered brain damage
and had to be put into a home.

Both cases entirely preventable.

Isn't that worth some intemperance?

Shall we carry on?

All finished. You should feel
a bit more comfortable now.

Thanks. Make us both
a cuppa before you go.

Oh, no time today, Mildred.

I'm sorry, but I'm on a
really tight schedule. Oh.

I thought you would
approve of the bonus scheme.

We should vaccinate for clinical
reasons, not financial ones.

I suppose your involvement in

the original trial
explains this evangelism?

The trial was very limited,

confined to specific age groups,

but the difference the vaccine made

to infection rates across
the community was quite clear.

But colleagues are afraid
the whole thing will prove

a pointless exercise because people
simply do not want this vaccine.

Then let me prove them wrong.

I will run a pilot scheme

and present it at the
next committee meeting.

We can't stop you doing that.

Hello?

Excuse me, what do you
think you're doing?

This building belongs to me.

You're trespassing.

Right. Well, that's great.

Do you like it?

It's the wheel of life. Yeah.

I'm sorry, I'm afraid this building
belongs to my family's firm.

Which means that you're trespassing.

The place wasn't locked up properly.

That is basically an invitation.

Hmm, it's more of an assumption
that property will be respected.

But if you just gather
your things and move on,

then we won't pursue charges.

And where exactly do you
suggest we move on to?

I'm sorry, "we"?

We're a collective.

And how many of you are in there?
It varies.

I'm sorry, if you refuse to leave,
I will have to call the police.

I mean, surely you understand that?
There's no need for that, man.

We won't be here long. Toodle-oo!

No that's... that's not what I meant.

Ready?

You have a beautiful,
bonny little baby boy!

There's nothing better
than this feeling, is there?

Where could that bird have
come from, do you think?

I reckon it fell down the chimney,
looking for somewhere to nest.

Nest? In October?

It must have been confused.

Or very stupid.

The bird was conveying a message.

It was a raven, Sister Monica Joan.

Not a carrier pigeon.

Please be advised,

I have located someone
with the ability to make

a true... interpretation at the sign.

Once I have consulted her,
I will let you know.

I've planned where
I'm having the baby now.

This room is perfect.

I want it to be natural.

No hospitals, no drugs,

no authorities banging on the door.

I just want to be
surrounded by my friends.

Don't worry. You are surrounded.

We're not leaving yet.

Not before the happening, at least.

Do you want to help
me decorate the room?

Hmm, maybe later.

We have a party to plan.

You will stay with
me, though, right?

Kat? Well, we've said so,
haven't we? Yeah, relax, Clover.

You say it yourself all the time,

there's nothing more natural
than having a baby.

Ah. I've just been on
the phone to the council.

Did you have to argue with them? No.

Because notified cases of measles

are rising right
across the district.

We are going to demonstrate
to that committee that

a vaccination programme can
be both practical and effective.

We shouldn't have to, but we will.

Your sign seems to be the
wrong way round, Mrs Buckle.

Oh, it's half day closing today,
Mr Aylward.

So, if it's a pattern for a
crocheted mini dress you're after,

I'm afraid you're out of luck.

Uh, nothing quite so
exotic, I'm afraid.

Uh, I've actually come to

pick your brains with regards
to a housing problem.

Or, or at least,
a property problem.

Do the Council have a policy
on squatters?

Squatters?

Well, they have a lot of opinions.

I mean, it's happening
all over the place

because of the housing shortage.

I've heard of families moving
into empty, derelict buildings

out of sheer desperation.

I mean, they are breaking the law,
but I feel for them.

I really do. I'm not really
talking about a family, Mrs Buckle.

A group of... beatniks,

dropouts, or hippies,

I don't... I don't really know what
you call them, but they all seem

to have hair down to about here,

have occupied one of
my empty warehouses.

Well, as I see it, Mr Aylward,
you can either talk to the police,

or you can talk to them yourself.

Right. Hm.

OK, that's it. Right, OK.
Thank you very much.

Mrs Greenhalgh? Are you in there?

Why are you hammering on my door?

I am Sister Monica Joan,

of the Order of St Raymond Nonnatus.

I don't care who you are.

I don't like unexpected visitors.

I have been informed
that you have the gift.

I've finished with all that.

But, but Mrs Greenhalgh... Get away!

I am in urgent need of your help.

What did you see?

Did the touch of my hand
induce a terrible vision?

Leave me alone.

I've told you,
I don't do that any more.

The measles vaccine is now fully
validated and fully available,

but the Ministry has no plans for

a nationwide programme
like the one for polio.

We have to demonstrate that with
a little effort and ingenuity,

it is possible to get a high
percentage of patients vaccinated.

And how do we do that?

Miss Higgins will identify

all children aged two and
below who are eligible.

Which may take some time.

The key is in the records.

Identifying and contacting families,
once, twice, even three times

if they don't turn
up the first time.

Home visits from the
district staff if necessary.

Home visits?
That could be a lot of extra work.

And we're worn out as it is.

We must do everything we can.

And what if everything isn't enough?

Then we will do more.

There you are at last.

I was beginning to think
you got lost on the way home.

Sorry I'm late.

We don't have the staff
and it's just so busy.

I made your favourite, fish tea.

I thought you might need
a little bit of looking after. Why?

Because you've been back at work and
you've been on your feet all day.

There's nothing
wrong with me, Cyril.

Please stop treating me like someone
with an illness. I'm sorry.

It's not your fault. I'm
just tired. Need a lie down.

Hi.

Oh, you're still here?

My name is Jojo, by the way.

Matthew Aylward.

We're not bad people, man.

Why don't you come in, hm?

Take a look at what we're
trying to do here.

There's tea in the pot.

Do you want some?

That's very kind of you,
but no, thanks.

So, painting indoors
as well as outdoors?

We're all art students.

It's how we express our
feelings about the world

and consciousness and all that.

Everyone, this is Matthew.

Hello, Matthew.

It would appear that
he's our landlord.

What's he doing here?
Only you said you locked the door.

He's not being heavy or anything.

How are you managing to cope,
in these conditions?

I wouldn't have thought they
were, uh, optimal for you.

That's for me to decide.

Of course.

You did indicate that you didn't
intend to stay for long.

When exactly might that be? Hmm.

Within the decade?

Well, I'm not sure
that our tolerance

can really extend that far.

Ooh!

I was joking.

I'm failing to see the funny side
of you trespassing on my property.

Good day to you, sir.

A good day to you, sir.

Morning, Sister.

No more trouble from our
feathered friends I hope?

Excuse me, sir!

I don't think you can live here.

The building isn't made for it.
There's no electricity. No water.

Oh, there's a standpipe on the dock.

We top up the drinking water
every morning.

We just, we need a space
to express ourselves and be free.

Free from what?

From all the rules on
how we should live.

I choose how I live, right?

And I'm going to choose
how I have this baby.

Everything and everybody that I need
is right here in this building.

You just have to let us stay...

just until after the baby comes.

Very well.

Mrs Greenhalgh?

I come bearing gifts.

It was remiss of me to expect you
to impart your wisdom

without the necessary recompense.

It's a very handsome cake.

Ah. Wait till you're invited.

I must prepare.

I'll call you when I'm ready.

Enter.

Is that sufficient?

Well, I would have preferred gin,
but it'll do.

Be seated.

You must not look upon me.

How are you this morning, Mrs Singh?

Very well, thank you nurse.

If Baby has finished feeding, may
I take him back to the nursery

so Mrs Turner can look you over?

He is my dream come true.

Is your spirit guide with you
at this moment?

I've got three of them...

and they never leave me.

Been with me as long as
I can remember.

In fact, one of them, The Old Man,

he's standing there right next
to you.

Jabbering on.

What's he saying?

I don't listen to them any more.

I... I would very much appreciate it
if you would.

I'm tired of them.

This isn't a gift. It's a curse.

Oh, how can that be?

God has granted you special insight.

If He did, He also got me accused
of fraud and took to court.

I lost my husband at El Alamein...

my son at Bow Street Magistrates.

I'm so sorry.

What happened?

He married into a
respectable family.

High Church.

His wife didn't take to my calling.

They moved to Buckingham.

I moved in here.

We lost touch.

As long as I got my bottle of
mother's ruin, I don't feel a thing.

What a sorry state of affairs.

Turn around!

What happened to your face?

A splash of hot fat from
the chip pan...

I trained as a nurse.
I may be able to help.

Stop looking at me.

Stop looking at me. I don't want
anyone to look at me.

Get out!

I don't mean to pry, Nurse Robinson,

but I wondered if perhaps you were
finding it difficult

being back here on the ward... after
what has happened.

We all have our burdens.
We just have to carry them.

We can also share the weight
if they become too hard to bear.

I believe the best thing for me is
to keep busy and get back to normal.

I had a similar experience myself
when I thought I might lose Teddy.

But thanks be to God, you did not.

Oh, Mr Aylward?
What a pleasant surprise.

I'm so sorry to disturb you.

I haven't interrupted Compline
or anything, have I?

Nothing ever interrupts Compline,
Mr Aylward.

It's not until eight. Do come in.

Actually, I can't stop.
I have to get back to Jonathan.

It's just I have some squatters
in one of my warehouses. Oh, dear.

And one of them appears to be about
to have a baby.

Quite soon, as far as I can tell.
Tonight?

Uh, no, but imminent.

All I really know is that her name
is Clover.

Uh, she hasn't received any medical
assistance as far as I'm aware.

And she's really very young.

Give the address.

I'll make sure we contact her
tomorrow and see what we can do.

May I present you with the fruits
of my labour?

In this column are the names of all
under twos falling within

the catchment of this surgery.

This number corresponds
to the drawer in

the main filing system in which
their family records can be found.

And across here indicates they are
already vaccinated.

Very few of those obviously.
Less than 15%.

We've a lot of work ahead of us
if we're to reach the 60% target.

So, we have less than a month
to more than treble

the number of children inoculated on
top of our normal duties?

Put like that, it does sound
an onerous task.

Onerous, but achievable,

if we think positively.

Why aren't you speaking to me?

There's no point.
You don't even know who I am.

I was upset when you told me.
I know I was.

You were horrible about it.
I was in shock!

But now, I want you to
come home, Susan.

See, that's why I'm not speaking to
you. You don't even know who I am.

Excuse me? Who are you?

I'm Sister Frances, from
Nonnatus House. I'm a midwife.

Are you Clover?
She's called Susan. Not Clover.

You can't even bring yourself
to say my name.

I give up.

You can't say I didn't try.

If I could come in and
examine you, Clover, it would

put everyone's minds at rest.
I just want to be left alone.

Well, if you don't want to be
examined, we can just have a chat

through the window.

I'm not sure if it's my
place to speak of this.

Whatever it is, it will be treated
in the strictest confidence.

I worry about Nurse Robinson.

I wonder if her return
has come too early.

Has she said something?

Oh, nothing like that, but I think
she may be finding it distressing,

working on the maternity side.

Perhaps I made a mistake.

I was thinking perhaps
she could be redeployed

to district duties
for the time being.

You might say it is simply
in order to help push forward

the measles vaccinations.

If anything is to be said,
it must be said with tact,

gentleness and honesty.

You'll do what is best, I am sure.

I ain't being funny,
Mr Aylward, but if I was you,

I wouldn't buy my paraffin here.

Shocking mark-up.

Um, where would you buy it?

Ironmongers, across the way.

Much cheaper. Oh.

Hello, love! Mr Aylward.

I just come to get half of pound
of pear drops to take

to the meeting tonight.

I've discovered that the officers of
the Council are much more receptive

to my ideas if I start by
handing out sweeties.

Take Mr Aylward's money, Fred.
Don't keep him waiting.

We only sell the finest
quality paraffin here.

Are you stocking up for winter?

Uh, actually, I found some old
heaters that I'm going to take

to the warehouse, because I had

an attack of conscience
about the squatters.

Or one of the squatters, anyway.

There's a cold snap forecast,
I can run them there tomorrow.

So, you're talking to them, then?

Yeah, I decided to give
them a period of grace,

for a number of reasons.

Thanks, Fred.

Now, that is what
I call a gentleman.

She was adamant she
has no need of our help.

But as far as you could tell,
she's in good health?

Well, as far as I could tell from

looking up at her
leaning out of a window.

I could only see her head.

But she has made her views
on natural childbirth very clear.

There's natural childbirth
and there's giving birth in

a filthy warehouse
without water or electricity.

We must keep trying,
we must be diligent.

Her outlook may change
and we must be ready.

I find the evening
air a fine remedy

when trying to untie
the knot of a troubled mind.

What do you do if someone is in
pain, but you cannot help them?

Nurse Robinson?

How do I make it better?

Grief has its own...

impenetrable timetable.

Whatever I do makes things worse.

So I sit here alone,
out of the way.

Which is considerably
easier, I imagine.

But the easy path is not
always the most fruitful.

I feel the loss of our child, too.

Have you spoken of
your grief with her?

Have you told her of your pain?

A man must be strong.

Sometimes...

we show our true strength...

by acknowledging our weakness.

Nurse Robinson, I fear I may have
been guilty of insensitivity.

It didn't occur to me that midwifery
may prove to be rather demanding,

given your recent...

given your recent experience.

Has my work not been satisfactory?

Your work is more than satisfactory,
as it always is.

But your state of mind concerns me.

I don't need special treatment.

You do and I did not see it.

A married midwife is unusual.

A pregnant midwife is a rarity.

And a midwife who has lost a baby
is something I've never known.

I'm sorry if I did not imagine
how you feel, Lucille.

You have no need to apologise.

I didn't even guess
how I might feel.

This has all been so new to me.

I'm moving you to district
work only, for a while,

with immediate effect.

Unless you wish to take some leave?

No. I want to work.
It will distract me.

But that will be better.

And you will heal, in time.

Because we always do.

Clover. Can we try again?

I'd really like to speak to you.

Clover.

Clover!

Clover.

Don't worry, she'll give up
in a minute. Yeah.

Something wrong? Aching a bit.

I... I might've over done
it moving the mattress.

What were you doing lugging
heavy stuff around?

I'm trying to get
everything just right.

It could be any time.

I wish she'd just go away.

We've got an oil projector
coming for the happening tonight.

Downstairs is going to look amazing.

You'll stay with me,
if I need you, won't you?

Yeah, of course.

Or Kat will, or one of the others.

Thanks for coming in, Mrs Glover.

You are a very brave
little soldier.

Another one down.

Excuse me, Doctor Turner,
Sister Julienne has asked me

to join the District Team
for the moment.

Best news I've had all day.

Dr Turner is creating
the 13th Labour of Hercules.

We need all the help we can get.

Jojo!

Kat!

Kat!

I have reflected at length about

the disagreeable nature
of our last parting.

And I decided I must return.

Did God tell you that?

We are both guided by
the voices of wisdom.

From whence they originate
we need not agree.

So, what do your voices say, then?

That by returning here might
ease suffering.

Do you really think you can help me?
I know I can.

It has become clear to me that I...

I did not seek your help
because I fear death.

What I fear is death in life.

The loss of purpose.

Like you, I was given a vocation.

And like you,
I need to help people...

in order to feel alive.

My vocation is nursing.

Let me see your face.

I can't show you my face.

I'm too ashamed.

This is my gift.

Allow me to use it.

Aren't you disgusted?

There is nothing disgusting here
to witness.

Only a fellow soul in distress.

Woo!

I've brought some, uh, heaters.

It will be below zero tonight.

Where, where is Clover?
Probably upstairs.

Oh. Do you like her?

Is that what it is?

Have you been drinking?

Who needs alcohol?

You've never been high, have you?

You should try it.

I must see Dr Turner instantly.

Oh, he's about to leave for home.

It is a matter of
the utmost urgency.

What is it, Sister?

Dr Turner, I have a patient under
my care who I suspect has

an advanced rodent ulcer.

Clover?

Clover, what's wrong? It hurts.

I've been shouting, but nobody
heard. The baby's going to come.

What, now? Now?

I can't do it on my own.

Right, my car's downstairs.

Yeah, I will take you to
the hospital. It hurts too much.

I can't get down the stairs.

All right, uh...

All right, I'll find a phone and
we'll have someone here right away.

Don't leave me. Please,
don't leave me!

Don't leave me. Please, please!

I will come back. I promise you.

Nonnatus House. Midwife speaking.

Slow down, Mr Aylward.

Explain the precise reason
for your call and then tell me

exactly where you are.

How long has it been like this?

Years now.

It was just a spot to start with.

Is it painful? Itchy.

Sometimes I can't keep me hands off.

And sometimes I can't help myself,

but give it a really good scratch

and then it bleeds.

What is your opinion, doctor?

My opinion is you were quite right.

Mrs Greenhalgh, I think
you have a skin condition

called a rodent ulcer.

What's that?

It's a form of skin cancer.

But, don't panic,
it's not the type you die of.

I'm going to refer you to
a hospital as soon as I can,

so you can see a specialist.

I won't go to the hospital.

I can't.

Mrs Turner. Mrs Turner, you have
no idea how glad I am to see you.

Where is my patient? Uh, this way.

But I'm afraid the conditions
are far, far from ideal.

Hello, Clover.

My name is Nurse Turner.
I'm a midwife.

I just need to settle you on the bed

and then we can work out
where we're up to.

Are you going to help me?
Of course I am.

I'm going to examine you,
to see how things are progressing.

And, in the meantime, Mr Aylward
will go and call for an ambulance.

Right, absolutely.

You'll be all right.

My friends said they'd help,
but I didn't want to go to hospital.

Your friends are in no fit state
to help anyone.

Why didn't you want to go
to hospital?

It was meant to be perfect.

Natural.

Natural isn't always perfect,

and perfect isn't always natural.

What matters is that you
and the baby are safe,

well and expertly looked after.

Which is exactly what is
going to happen.

Now, have you had an internal
examination during your pregnancy?

It's nothing to worry about.

Let's have your heels to your bottom
and your knees nice and wide apart.

Hello. Yes. Ambulance, please.

There's... there's a young girl in
labour. Her name is Clover.

Can I have her surname please, sir?

Um, I'm sorry, I don't know her
surname. And the address?

The, address is... it's... it's
quite hard to describe.

It's not exactly a residential
property. It's a warehouse.

I want my mum.

Once this is done, we'll
get in touch with her.

Does she have a telephone?

She died.

Oh.

When did you lose her?

Uh... I was 16.

My dad always said she's the last
person who could tell me what to do.

She sounds like a strong woman.

Like mother, like daughter.

I've got no-one.

Well, you've got me, Clover.

My real name's Susan.

Can you call me Susie?

Cos my mum used to.

Susie, sweetheart...

I promise you we are
going to get through this.

Hey! Hey, hey.

Hey, stop! Here!

That's it, good girl.

Take a breath, push gently.

One more, slowly, slowly...

Well done!

Baby's head is born.

The worst is over.

Do you want to feel it?

Where's that ambulance, Mr Aylward?

It couldn't find the place.
It just sailed straight past.

Well, it looks like we aren't
going to need it after all.

This little one is about to be born.

It won't care if
it's in the pitch dark.

The next contraction will be much
easier, then the baby will be out.

Is that the contraction coming now?
Hm. Wonderful.

Now, push, sweetheart.

Oh, my Lord.

What is it?

Wait, what is that?

What is...? Can you see that?

What is wrong with my baby?
Oh, my God.

What is wrong with my baby?
They can't be here.

Get out. Get out! GET OUT!

You have a little girl.

I just need to help her.

Let me see her. Not right now.
Let me see.

What's wrong with it?

I need you to try and keep calm now.

Your baby has a condition
called gastroschisis.

She has been born
with her intestines on

the outside of her body.

I am going to do everything I can.

Mr Aylward. Mr Aylward!

I need you to find boiled water
and greaseproof paper and then we

need to get this baby to
hospital as soon as we can.

Can it survive? I don't know.

She's... going to die, isn't she?

Now, listen to me carefully, Susie.

I know this is frightening

but, right now, you need to focus
on being strong for your baby

as your mother would have done
for you. Have you got that?

She's losing too much heat.

We have to try and wrap her up now.

I need the greaseproof paper
to keep the moisture in.

This is all I could find.

It will have to do.

Find me something clean
to keep Baby warm.

It's hurting again.
That's the placenta coming now.

As soon as it's delivered, we are
taking you both to hospital.

But the ambulance...
Mr Aylward will drive.

Lucille. Yes?

I have something
I need to say to you.

Can it wait until morning, Cyril?
I'm tired.

It cannot wait.

I see.

We haven't spoken about
it since it happened.

What is there to say?
We lost a child.

Do you think I am unaware of that?

I'm sorry, it's just that I had
a chat with Sister Monica Joan...

You had no right to speak of our
private matter outside these walls.

It seems I have no right to
speak of our private matter

within these walls either.

When you're ready, I'll be here.

Hold her carefully.

Try not to move her at all.

As quickly and smoothly as you can,
please, Mr Aylward.

Good luck, Susie!

"Susie"?

That's what her mother called her.

Oh, you poor thing.

I've never seen a baby
with gastroschisis.

I certainly hope
I never see another.

Even with the best care,

this little one's life will
be hanging in the balance.

And the mother's so young.

Brave.

She did so well through
the whole thing...

but young.

Oh, Patrick! Oh, darling.

The funny thing is, at the time,

I felt completely
calm and in control.

It's only now I realise
I've never been more frightened

during a delivery in my life.

Am I getting confused?

I thought you changed the
dressing a few days ago.

You are not confused.

I have information that you
received your appointment

with the specialist at
St Cuthbert's and kept it from me.

Despite all my efforts
to influence you to the contrary,

you still plan to
miss the appointment.

There is nothing left
for me in this life.

I am without purpose
and with no-one to mourn me.

And the sooner I am
in a box, the better.

The key is to understand
God's purpose in your life.

Arnold. Hello, Mother.

Clover.

How is she?

The paediatricians and the surgeon,
even the nurses are amazed.

She's not giving up.

It looks like no-one is going to be
telling her what to do either.

Mother like daughter.

Are those for me?

Of course, they are.

As a thank you. Why?

You tested me to the limit.

It helped remind me how lucky
I am to be doing what I do.

Has she got a name yet?

I was thinking maybe Clover.

It never really was my name,
but maybe it could be hers.

Is something wrong?

The mother's changed her mind
and cancelled her appointment.

We bent over backwards
to get her in here.

She's decided that her children
are having too many injections

and she doesn't think it's worth
having another one just for measles.

Excuse me, Mrs...

Dr Turner tells me you aren't

interested in your
son having the vaccine.

Do you know much about measles?

I had it when I was a kid.
Bit of a rash, that's all.

You know that around 100 children

die of it every year
in this country.

Can you imagine losing your child
to a preventable disease?

Could any wound cut deeper?

It doesn't matter where
you are, what you're doing,

all you feel is that pain inside you
and it just keeps on hurting.

I've let you down, Cyril. I failed.

It wasn't meant to be.

That's all.

I have missed you.

I don't know where you went, but
I'm glad you're back with me now.

I was trying to be strong.

I didn't want to burden you.

I knew your heart was broken too.

How can we be strong
if we're not together?

You're right, Cyril.

We have both been through pain.

Sharing that pain is
where we'll find healing.

Arnold dropped me off.

And he's coming back
later to pick me up.

I am delighted you both
have found each other again.

Did the surgery go well?

Well, the doctors say so.

I'm just waiting to
have my radiotherapy

and then they'll know
more about the prognosis.

That must be difficult.
I'm not afraid.

I have a purpose now,
with whatever time is left.

And I'm listening to my
spirit guides again.

I could read for you now,
if you'd like?

Oh, that would be wonderful.

What is it?
Oh, I think I'm just really tired.

Did you see something? No. Nothing.

Tell me.

I felt something.

Something unfortunate that will
happen here, at Nonnatus House.

Pain passes.

Better days DO come.

And still, we long
to see what lies ahead.

We yearn for our vision
to pierce the veil,

to be able to say,

"There's nothing to fear,
and no harm will come to us."

But we have no lamp,
and no spyglass,

and the road ahead is dark.

Have faith in the light.

In the warmth.

In the tenderness and nearness
of the people that you love.

This is now. This is today.

This cluster of hours,

this muddle of joy,
and imperfection.

This is the present,
and is all we can be sure of.

Embrace it.

It is the most
precious thing we have.

You can't just leave me here.

Carole? Were you with a boy?

So, what if I was?

We are midwives, not baby-sitters.

Edina hates making a fuss.

You have to come.
My mother can't get out of bed.

I have to choose between
what's good for my daughter

and what's good for me,

and I don't think I
should have to choose at all.

This is my career. My life!