All language subtitles for Best Laid Plans [1999] [DVDRip XviD] [1337x]-Dita496

[Fire Crackling]

[Patsy Cline Playing]

OK, another...
Charles Eppker.

Charles... Charles
is a large fellow.

Played football.

People called him
''Chunky.''

That's right.

He still plays--

back-up center
in the Canadian league.

All this remember-when,
where-are-they-now shit.

That was college.

Can we please talk
about something else?

You know what?
I had a thought.

Shit. No.

Yes. Last night I was
reading The History

of Twentieth Century
America in your honor.

Whose, Manchester's?

No. Big thick text
by...

Schlessinger.
Halberston.

I'm not going to
remember.

Well, authors' names
don't really matter

in your trade, anyway,
do they?

I work in the English
department.

We deal in fiction.

I can tell the little
shits any name I like.

Your thought?

Oh, yes. Right.
I was reading 1 960s

sexual revolution free
love wife-swapping--

sort of like
an after-dinner,

free-spirit parlor game.

The husbands used to
throw their key chains

onto the table,
mix them up,

then the wives would all
pick them up blindly.

Buddies fucking
each other's wives,

et cetera, et cetera.

Now think when
our parents were born.

OK, now, think
when we were born.

We could be the offspring
of a key chain adultery.

You get it? We may not
be our fathers' sons.

Oh, it gives me hope,
anyway.

Waitress: Two more 7 and 7 s.

Jesus, another round?

Thank you.

I haven't finished
this one yet.

Thank you.

To your first month
in Tropico.

Stay hydrated.

Everybody sucks but us.

[Sirens]

Man: Oh, I have
a joke for you.

There's this elephant
in the jungle,

and he's got a thorn
caught in his foot.

This mouse wanders by.
Elephant stops him

and says, '' Hey,
I'll give you anything

if you take the thorn
out of my foot.''

[Groaning]

[Telephone Ringing]

Hi. How'd it go?

Man: Nick, I--I--
Nick, can you do me a favor?

Bryce?

Can you come over here?
Yeah, it's me.

I know it's late,
but I need you to--

Yeah. No.
I was expecting--

Well, it-- it's me.
I got a problem over here.

I got--
I got a serious--

OK. Can it wait?
Because it's after--

Can't wait.
I need a friend to talk to.

Look, I'm in big
fucking shit!

OK.

Please. Please, Nick.

OK.

[Tearful]
Thanks, buddy. Bye.

Bye.

[Firemen Shouting]

How'd this happen?

Ah, brush fire season.

The slightest thing will
spark one of these off.

You want to take a left
here and proceed slowly

up towards the right,
all right? Drive safe.

Thanks.

[Firemen Shouting]

[Knock On Door]

[Beeping]

Oh, shit.

Morning.

Hey.

Jesus, you look
like I feel.

Well, I feel
like it, too.

You want a beer?

All I've got
is domestic shit.

That'll be fine.

Thanks.

These people you're sitting for,
they keep a lovely home.

So, you want to tell me
why I'm here?

I got laid tonight.

How wonderful for you.

No.

I didn't bring you here
at 2:00 a.m.

for bragging rights, OK?
Because if I tell you this,

you got to make sure

you're not going
to tell anybody,

that it stays between us.
OK, Nick? OK?

The girl that
we met at the bar?

- Katie?
- No. Kathy.

Oh, boy. What happened?

You left. She and I--
we talked for a while.

You know,
she bought me a round.

And then she asked
if I wanted to leave,

and so we came here.

So we starting making out.
She initiated it.

She did this funny thing
with her hand.

And she was kissing me,
like squeezing my jaw.

Bryce, broad strokes.
Broad strokes.

Sorry. Sorry.

It's like I blinked,
and we were naked.

And then I, uh...
We did it.

Yeah?

Afterwards, she went
to the bathroom.

Couple minutes,
came out,

asked if I had
any vitamin C.

- What?
- Yeah.

So I went upstairs,
and I found some,

and I came back down.

And she had called
a cab

and said
she was going home,

and that
when she got there,

she was going to
call the police

and file rape charges
against me.

She says I raped her,
Nick.

Bryce, is there
any truth to this?

No. I'm sorry

because I haven't seen
you since college

and suddenly I lay
all this shit on you.

Is there any truth
to what she's saying?

I don't--
I don't think so.

You don't think so,
or you know so?

Listen,
I was pretty drunk,

and I can't fucking
remember

if she tried to stop
anything.

But she says she did.

Are you just hazy on this,
or were you--

No. It's a mix.

I was in and out
during the act.

I don't remember!

Well, you don't seem
very drunk right now.

Well, a chick
accusing you of rape

will sober you up
just like that.

Jesus.

I don't know.
Maybe--

Maybe she won't
go through with it.

Otherwise, I don't know
what to tell you, Bryce.

Sit tight,
for Christ's sake.

Whatever you do, don't
tell anyone about this--

not now, not ever.

What?

Oh, fuck.

Oh, Nick,
I really fucked up!

Bryce?

You know, Nick,
can you talk to her?

Just tell her
it was an accident.

Fuck! I hate to lay
this shit on you.

Hey. Hey. Shh.
Calm down, OK?

Hey. The girl is gone.

There's nothing
we can do. OK?

No.

Come on, Bryce.

No! She's not gone!

She's downstairs!

God. She's downstairs.

This is going to look
worse than it is.

See, after she said
what she said, after

what she was
going to do, I--

See, Nick,
I didn't hit her.

All I did was grab her
and drag her,

and then, coming down
the stairs, she fell...

Where are the lights?

Over on the wall.

What the fuck
are you doing?

I, um, well, uh, I need
to think through this.

Not what are you
thinking,

what the fuck
are you doing?

How long has she
been down here?

I'm not sure

because my sense of time
is all fucked up.

Guess.

Um, I dragged her down,
and I tried to talk to her,

and I called you.
Maybe half an hour?

You didn't touch
her after that?

No, Nick, I swear
I didn't touch her.

[Crying Softly]

Bryce: Nick--

No!Just--Just
hold on a minute. Um...

But, Nick--

Oh, fuck!

[Kathy Crying]

Nick, come on.
It's not my place.

Goddamn it, Bryce.

Look, I'm sorry, Nick.
When she said

that she was going to
call the cops,

I tried to stop her to
find out what happened,

and she kept going
for the door,

and I just lost it.

Nick, I swear to God,

I didn't touch her
after that.

It's OK. It's OK.

Where'd you get these?

Upstairs. I found them
in the parents' bedroom.

You have the key?

The key? Why?

I'm going to
take them off.

Uh-huh.
And then what?

And then I'm going
to drive her home.

Bryce: Could we talk
about this first?

Bryce, give me the key!

I know this looks bad,
and I screwed up.

But I don't think
I did before

what she said I did,

and I want to
talk about it first.

What is there
to talk about?

What the hell
is going to happen to me

if we just let her go?

What the hell is going to
happen to you if we don't?

This chick is going
to ruin my life.

She's going to fuck
it all up.

Bryce, give me the key.

No.

[Crying]

Shh. It's OK.

I'm sorry if that hurt.
It's Kathy, right?

Are you OK?

All right, look.
This is pretty crazy here.

This situation is
not very good. I know.

I'm going to take you out
of here in a minute.

I'm going to drive you home.

But first I need to know
if you're all right.

I mean, are you injured
at all?

OK, OK. Look.
Take a deep breath, OK?

Just breathe in, OK?

[Inhales]

Good. Yep.
Now exhale. Let it out.

OK.
It's all right. OK.

You're doing great.
You're a real pro.

OK, now, listen.
Are you hurt?

Are you hurt anywhere?

My lip.

Yeah, I can see that,
but it's nothing serious.

It's just a little cut.

But what I want to know is,
what about the rest of you?

Are you hurt
inside anywhere?

No? OK. Good.

Your friend
didn't hurt me.

No?

I don't care
what he did before.

I won't tell anybody.

I just want to get
out of here.

I just want to go home.

I just want to go home.

Lis-- Listen--

I just want to go home.

I just want to go home,

and then everything
will be fine.

You will. I promise you.

I promise.
I promise you will.

Just hold on.

Hey, Professor...
come on.

We'll be back
in a minute.

Everything's going
to be fine, OK?

Bryce: You don't
believe her, do you?

Because the second
she gets home,

she's going to
call the cops.

Yeah, she might.

The thing is,
you got to let her
go now.

But there's more to this.

What? What? What?

Look at that.

OK? Now this one.

She's 1 6.

I mean, what 21 -year-old
carries around a fake I.D.

saying she's 1 6?

The girl downstairs
is 1 6!

1 6!

I mean, it doesn't
matter if she said no.

It doesn't matter
if she screamed yes

and had a notary public
certify it,

she's underage!
It's statutory!

If she presses charges,
I will go to jail!

So I guess a second date's
out of the question then, huh?

Do you see?
Do you see now?

Do you see
how fucked I am?

Bryce, statutory cases

are very, very hard
to prosecute.

No. The girl is 1 6.
I had sex with her.

Boom. Conviction.
You know what?

And it's not just jail.
It's my job, my career,

my entire education
shot to blistering fuck!

Can you imagine explaining
a statutory rape conviction

or even an accusation
to a tenure committee?

Can you?

Bryce, sit down.

You're going to wear tracks
in these people's carpet.

I only wanted
to get laid.

Instead,
I'm getting fucked!

Nick, I want to let
the girl go.

I'm raring to get her
the hell out of here,

but the only way
I can do that

is if she can guarantee
that she won't tell anyone,

and I don't see
how she can do that.

You won't take
her promise?

She's shown herself to be
a pillar of truthfulness.

And I can't bribe her.
I've got nothing to offer.

And--

Past that, and my thinking
just fails me.

I-- I don't think
I could threaten her.

I could.

What?

I already played
the good cop down there,

so maybe if I go down
and pull a reversal?

Scare the shit out of her.

We're fucked.

You're telling me.

P.A.: Welcome to Tropico
Recycling Company.

Glass goes...

[Glass Clinking]

Nick!

Sorry, man. I forgot
about your dad's funeral.

Of all days, Barry.

I'm really sorry.

[Cat Screeches]

[Cat Moaning]

Oh, shit!

Man: Is it yours?

Nick: No.
My neighbor's.

He home?

We OK if I say
she was dead on arrival?

Yeah.

I'm going to
put her down.

Um, excuse me.

The shot costs $30.00.

I'm sorry.

It's the least
I can do.

There you go.

Thanks.

Here's 1 0 back.

Cheap absolution.

I'm sorry.
I'm really running late.

Oh, OK. Go ahead.

I'll just get the info
from her collar.

Thank you.

Shit!

Ah, shit.

Ever feel like the world's
conspiring against you?

My name's Nick,
by the way.

Mine's Myrtle.

Myrtle.

Really?

[Chuckling]

No.

Thank God.

It's Lissa.

I was just trying to
lower your expectations.

Two Ss?

Yeah. It's short
for Melissa.

When I was learning
to talk,

I used to pronounce
it '' Me Lissa,''

as in '' Me Tarzan,''
so the story goes.

Thanks for the lift.

[Praying]

Let the Lord lift up His
countenance about him

and give him peace.
Amen.

Nick: I never would
have come back here

after college,
but my father got sick,

so I came home
to take care of him.

Oh, yeah?

Mm-hmm. So anyway,
what's your excuse?

I took the equivalency exam
after sophomore year--

off to be an actress.

Actress?

What, ''actress''?

Can never be sure
if you're being straight,

with you.

You can never be sure,
anyway.

So the first camera
I got in front of--

this incredibly
imposing machinery,

like, right in my face--

and I just...froze.

[Chuckles]

Claustrophobic,
I think.

So it's back to home
and school

and the local vet
to make a buck.

How long have you
lived here?

All my life.

Me, too.
Lafayette High.

Me, too.

So back to school where,
S.U.T.?

Mm-hmm.

The extension program,
studying art.

My dad taught there.
Chaired the history department.

Really?

This was before they
put him in the urn.

Waitress:
Here you go, sweetie.

Thank you.

Are you all done here?

Mm-hmm. Thanks.

So in an effort to avoid
a similar fate,

next week I will plunder
my father's belongings

for their few items
of value,

go collect my inheritance,

and when all that
is accomplished,

I will quietly, promptly
leave Tropico.

Just that easy?

No.

Well...

it's been nice
meeting you.

I'm sorry we didn't
till now.

Thanks for lunch.

Thanks for dinner.

Thanks for the wake.

[Chuckles]

# I try so hard to remember #

Bye.

Bye.

#What it is that I forgot #

# But I can't
but I can't believe #

#Will you now #

# I've tried
I've tried, I've tried #

# Cried and kissed them bye #

[Giggling]

# Something that we both know #

# Boy, you're on my mind #

# I don't know
how I'm going to #

# Show you what I feel for you #

# But all I know
all I know is I #

# I want to be with you #

#All I know
All I know is I #

# I got to be with you #

Rumor has it he was
a pretty good teacher.

I think you would have
liked him.

This is what he looked like.

Hmm... hmm...

Very sexy.

Really?

Really?

Hmm.

[Elevator Bell Rings]

Sorry. Sorry.

[Knock On Door]

Oh, hi, Nick.

How are you?
Good to see you.

Nick.

Hi.

Come in. Sit down.

I'm really sorry
about your father.

Yeah. I'm going to
miss him.

I brought
his favorite pen.

I've got news.

St. Vincent's Memorial

conducted an autopsy
on your father

and discovered that
his liver was near failure--

a condition which your father
apparently knew of

and failed to list

on his life insurance
application,

which constitutes
a deliberate misrepresentation

and invalidates
his policy.

Which means what,

that I--
that I would--

You don't get
the insurance money.

As a result, I've had to
inform the I.R.S.

of a new compensation
schedule

until the sale
of the house is complete.

Wait, wait, wait.
The I.R.S.?

Your father didn't
mention his back tax...

No.

obligation.

Your father owed
$200,000 in back taxes.

Uh, consequently,
these assets

are subject to a lien,

so the government
has seized them all.

Well, his estate
should constitute

more than that,
right?

After house payments,
your college tuition,

uh, my fees...

What's left over?

It depends on the sale
of the house,

which the bank
has seized title of.

What do I get?

If it goes
for the asking price,

after taxes...

Ah.

Nothing.

Barry: So...

did everything go OK
with your lawyer?

Huh? Are you going
to get the money?

Yeah. It was fine.

Oh, sorry
about that.

So, you going to
give your notice?

No. I thought I'd
stick around a little longer.

Anyway, if I go,
who's going to get my job?

I don't know.

[Car Horn Honks]

Mmm.

Uh, see you later.

Woman: You know, you really
have to use a little imagination

when you're looking
at an old house like this.

It's a really nice
opportunity--

a fixer-upper for first-time
buyers like yourselves.

It's a very good buy.

Hi.

Hi.

Come on in.

The American Empire
Dismantled.

Your father's?

'' History Master's
Thesis...

Mmm.

by Nick
Thornberry.''

You inherited
his passion.

But that's all.

Tropico, the time has come
for you to pitch in--

your cans, your bottles,
your other recyclables.

Hi. I'm Mitch Bennett,

president and owner-operator
ofTropico Recycling Company,

inviting you all
to come on down and pitch in.

Both: Tropico and recycling--
Together, we're on the move.

Bennett: Once more,
please,

with conviction.

And action!

Nick and Lissa:
Tropico and recycling--

Together,
we're on the move.

Good. Cut.

All right, all right.
Now, uh...

[Speaking Spanish]

Bennett: I want you
to go get Oscar,

get that crane
over there...

The things we do
for minimum wage.

Nick: So can you
help me out?

I'm sorry, guy.

Once the ad runs,
then we'll talk.

Right now,
I can't help you.

I'm not asking
for a loan.

It's money owed
for services rendered.

Hey, listen to me.

It's not possible
right now.

Look, I know you're
short at the moment,

but, hey,
everybody's short.

All right. Forget it.

Reuben, I thought
I told you not to laugh.

What are you doing, huh?
What's wrong with you?

Barry: Look, he's my friend.
Let me talk to him.

I'm telling you,
I don't care

how long
you've known him.

Nick.

Yeah?

Do you know--

Dude, if you
say my name,

I'm telling you,
you're out of this.

Out of what?

Shh.

Come on.

Shit. Um,
just tell him.

Nick, are you
doing anything tonight?

Come on. Come on!

[La Bamba Playing
Over P.A. System]

Bennett's Voice: Welcome
to Tropico Recycling Company.

Glass goes to bay 4,
plastics to bay 1 2.

Thanks for your business.

Barry: OK. The thing is,

my friend here,
he works

for a pretty big
guy in town.

Why don't you
want me

to know
your name?

Because if you
get busted,

how are you going to
identify me?

What, he was a black guy
with curly hair?

This guy, Nick,

is under serious
police investigation

right now.

He thinks he's going
to get busted anytime.

So every night,
he moves his stash

from one house
to another

so that the cops can't
get a search warrant

in time to snatch him.

Tonight the stash
is atJimmy's house.

You know, you got to have
pond water for brains, man.

Oh! I'm sorry.

I got a sofa at home
smarter than you.

I like saying
people's names.

Look,just shut--

Look, man.
It's a real easy job.

Barry breaks into my spot

when I'm pulling
watchdog duty alone, right?

He grabs the stuff
and knocks me out

just to make it look good.

You're willing
to take that lump?

For half of $40,000?
Yeah.

It's a two-man
job, Nick,

except we need
a driver, OK?

Jimmy's first choice

got the runs real
bad this morning,

so I recommended
you.

Now, the way
I'm seeing it is like

we give you a fourth
of what we take.

I mean, your job's
too easy--

It's really too safe
for anything more than that.

Come on, Nick--
as a favor to me.

Jimmy: Look, it's
one night's work, man.

I mean, the only way
you can possibly fuck up

is if you forget to put
gas in the car.

Shit.

Barry's got two tickets
to the ball game tonight,

and he invited me along.

You going to go?

Yeah, I guess so.

Come by, though.
I'll be back around 1 1 :00.

OK.

Nick: You got to
eat those now?

It's a nervous
habit.

Game time.

Christ,
that was easy.

That's it?
You got it?

Right here. Want to
drive a little?

Ha ha ha!

[Coughing]

Jimmy's going to have
an Advil binge tomorrow.

Oh.

Ha ha ha!

You're not too bright,
are you, Barry?

Nope.

Ha ha ha!

[Door Opens]

Nick: Hi.

Hi.

I brought you something.

Really?

Mm-hmm.

What?

So people
will stop laughing

at your music collection.

The Space
Between Us?

What is this?

That's what the kids
are listening to nowadays.

Cool, thanks.

How was the game?

It was fine.

You want to know
what the score was?

I listened to
a sports radio show

so I could lie
factually.

You don't have to
tell me where you've been.

I will if you ask.

I'm thinking
of moving again.

Where?

Um, Peru. Malta.
Portland, Oregon.

I don't know.

I hear it's nice
in Portland.

Want to come?

Please?

Well, when were you
planning on going?

Um, a couple
of weeks.

As soon as
you've finished

your masterpiece.

Is that a no?

It's a yes,
you cocksucker.

So?

Hey, Barry. Nick here

at 30 minutes after
you were supposed to be here

reminding you that
the future state of our finances

does not excuse us
from our efforts here at work.

Hope you're on your way.

Can I help you?

Get in the car.

Right.

Bennett's Voice:
Tropico Recycling Company.

Glass goes to bay 4,
plastics to bay 1 2.

Thanks for your business.

Man: That's right.
Nice and easy.

We're just going
for a little drive.

How you doing?

We ain't met.

Know who I am?

I got a couple
of guesses.

I'm the guy you stole
$40,000 from last night.

Your suspicion's
correct.

I thought you'd be
an older guy.

My profession don't
promote career longevity.

It's a young man's
business.

It don't matter
how I found out.

I found out.

No matter how sorry
you feel,

you're going
to feel sorrier.

And it don't matter
how you plan to fix it,

because that plan
is obsolete.

Freddie, take that shit
off of your head.

What for?

Take that shit
off of your head

and give it to him.

Blindfold yourself.

Why?

Because I don't
know you,

and I don't know
who you know.

Have you ever read
Adam Smith's

An Inquiry into
the Nature and Causes

of the Wealth of Nations?

Uh-uh.

In it, the man addresses

the two simple laws
of the market.

The first law: self-interest.

It is not from the benevolence
of the butcher, the brewer,

the fucking baker
that we expect our dinner,

but from their self-interest.

I don't sell junk
because I feel a civic duty.

I do it out of...

self-interest.

Second law: competition.

Only under the check
of competition

is a man's self-interest
regulated from ruthlessness.

I don't charge
a C-note a pop

because I think
some other dude

is going to
underprice me.

No. I don't overcharge
because what suppresses me?

Competition.

Consequently,
a man's motivations of...

Self-interest...

are transmuted by...

Competition...

to yield social harmony.

You, motherfucker,
have fucked

with the laws
of the market.

You have fucked
with competition.

You have deregulated
the self-interest

of some other
dope-peddling fuck.

You done fucked up
harmony.

You must un-fuck it!

This is all
simple economics.

Jimmy: Fuck. Come on.
Come on.

Come on.

Jimmy has learned
a lot about economics

the last few hours.

Keynesian theory,
market trends,

all that shit.

Taught him the difference
between laissez-faire,

which is what
I'm doing right now,

and intervention,
which is what I'm about to do.

We tried to see
your other associate-- Barry?

He was not at home.

Neither was most
of his clothes.

We surmised he would
not be returning soon,

so we came to see you.

[Jimmy Groaning]

What do you want?
Financial reparation?

What do you want?

Motherfucker
likes big words.

You hold that
thought, though.

Got to see
the show first.

You rememberJimmy.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Quit it. All right,
Freddie. Cola.

[Muffled Screaming]

A little carbonation
up the sinuses

will fuck you up good.

Freddie: The drink
that refreshes.

Now let's deal.

I don't have your stash.

Then I want
reparation--

$40,000.

I don't have that,
either.

Oh, I think you do.

You're just
being coy.

What was your cut?

A fourth.

1 0,000.
You give me 1 5,

we're all square.

You don't have it
by Sunday,

then you take
the taste test.

If you run...

this is what your world
will look like.

[Tires Screeching]

[Nick Dialing Telephone]

Bryce: Hey, Nick,
it's Bryce.

Guess who's moving
to Tropico--

[Fast-Forwarding Tape]

[Beep]

Barry: Nick,
it's Barry. Listen,

Jimmy isn't answering
his phone.

I think things got
fucked up.

I'm taking off
for a while

till I get ahold
of him.

[Beep]

Nick: Call the office,
you son of a bitch.

Lissa: Things got
fucked up with Jimmy?

Yeah. He's some friend
of Barry's--

assistant manager prospect.

He was supposed to
show up tomorrow,

and the guy's
a complete flake.

Nick.

I'm in the doghouse.

Lissa: I have 1 ,000.

No, no. Don't
burden yourself

with my fuck-ups.

Hey.

It's only money.

Besides, I've built up
a certain tolerance

for your fuck-ups.

I think I can
burden myself a little.

All right. 1 ,400.

We could sell
your car.

Another 3,000,
maybe 4,000.

That's still
1 0 grand short.

My only question is,
why pay them at all?

It's just buying us

the right to keep
living here,

and we're leaving
anyway.

I think if I try and run
and they find me,

they're going to hurt me.

Then don't run.

We'll pay them.

OK.

So, 5 days to raise
$1 0,000.

You know what a champ
I am at asking for money.

No. No, Nick.
I told you.

In a month or so,
we'll discuss this.

No. It can't wait.

I need an advance today,
or I'm through.

Look, I appreciate you
taking Barry's shift,

and I'm going to pay you
double-time for it,

but that doesn't change
my cash flow.

The next words out of
your mouth are ''Yes, Nick,''

or you're
locking up tonight.

Don't try to
blackmail me, Nick.

Fuck!

Aah!

Shit.

[Beep]

Bryce: Nick,
this is Bryce again.

I just landed in town.

Got a phone number
for you: 5 5 5-01 73.

You know, also,
I was wondering,

is there a good
mechanic in town?

Because my gearshift
just took a crap on me.

Give me a call, babe.

[Beep]

Bryce!

Woman On Radio: #There's a new boy
in the neighborhood #

# I'd like to meet him
if I could #

# He's got the look
that I dream about #

# Makes the other girls
scream and shout #

Hey.

Hey.

Welcome
to Tropico.

Duck and cover.

Nick. Come here, man.
Come here.

God, it's great
to see you.

You still got
the Charger.

That's terrific.
That's terrific.

You don't see a lot
of white people

driving these nowadays,
but, hey, man, good for you.

Come on.
Let's get out of here.

Let's go.Jim,
we'll talk to you.

Nick: Wow.

Bryce: Wait till
you see inside.

So we have survey
courses to start--

American lit., Brit. lit.,

everything that should be
taught in high school.

Hawthorne,James,
Fitzgerald.

Nick: ''So we beat on,
boats against the current,

borne back ceaselessly
with the past.''

F. Scott, Great Gatsby.

That's a book he wrote.

We don't
actually read

anything we teach.

The department chair
gives us Cliff Notes

at the beginning
of the semester,

and we just say
whatever's in those.

That's convenient.

[Beeping]

Can you shut
the door?

Thanks.

A tad excessive.

The guy I'm
house-sitting for--

a tad retentive.

Bryce: Can you believe
this place?

Mr. Beaumont's a local
guy who made good.

He built this house
overlooking Tropico

to remind everyone.

Visual.

Liquid.

Jesus Christ.

Here we have
the corridor of wonder.

The man likes carpet.

Even on
the toilet seat

for those prolonged
stays of leisure.

Oh, and observe
the cabinet of whimsy.

Huh.

Isn't that great?

Oh, that reminds me--

How's your dad?

You still live
with him, right?

No. He's dead.

Jesus. I'm--
I'm sorry.

It's OK. It was
a few months ago.

Weird.

Hey, I've got

something
to show you.

It's a stay of execution
for a Union deserter

during the Battle
of Vicksburg--

Mr. Beaumont's great-
great-somebody-or-other--

but check out the sig.

Honest Abe. Didn't
he ever get tired

of emancipating
people?

Supposedly the stay
was last-minute,

and it was the only
paper around.

Anyway, I remember

you used to dabble
in history, so...

I thought
I'd give you a show.

You paying them anything
to live here?

Rent is nil
on 3 conditions:

feed the plants,
keep the place clean,

and don't invite
anyone over.

I'm making
an exception for you.

Bryce McCarthy,
you risk-taker.

The starting
professorial salary is shit.

I'm really lucky
to have this place.

Your parents
have money, right?

Their own mint.

The last few years,
they've developed

this financial
tough-love philosophy

on their kids-- sort of
a benign neglect

without
the benign part.

What, they cut you off?

Yup.

This life of austerity
is killing me.

Ha ha ha!

[Dogs Barking]

Man: Lincoln,
Lincoln, Lincoln.

Signature goes
for about $7 5,000.

Do any of these
look familiar? Here.

Nick: Um...

Yeah. This right here,

only these two things
are switched.

- That one?
- Yeah.

That's a rare item there.

Trial printing.

Only a few in existence,
and worth about, uh...

$200,000. Whoo!

So the two together
would be worth...

That's a $300,000
stay of execution.

Unfortunately, it does
you no good to steal it.

Ha! That's speaking
presumptuously.

Yeah. Well, you're
asking about it,

and it's not yours.

Why would it do me no good
to steal it?

Most items like those,
they're registered.

Hence,
they're immovable.

Now, uh... even if this one
happens to be unregistered,

you steal it,
owner reports the theft,

well, it's
immovable again.

What if it wasn't
reported stolen?

Why wouldn't it be?

I don't know.
What if?

You'd have to wait
two months.

After 60 days,
no theft report,

you can sell
the thing.

Of course,
you'd want to muddy

the trail of ownership
leading back to you,

but that's not hard to do
if you have the right fence.

And...

what would
the right fence take?

Ten percent?

Twenty.

Ha ha ha!

You want me to check

and see if there's
a listing on it?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Look around.

Nick: It's unregistered,
which means it's fair game.

Charlie, the guy who
looked it up for me,

he said he'd
advance me 1 5 grand

upon receipt
of the stay.

Then once he sold it,
he'd send us the rest.

You trust him?

Yeah.

OK. So the trick is
to steal it from a house

with an elaborate alarm system

and a house-sitter who's not
allowed to invite anyone over

without having it reported
stolen for at least two months?

And without
getting caught.

So how well
do you know Bryce?

If you're asking
can we bring him in on it,

no, I don't think so.

You don't trust him.

Our sophomore year
in college,

he cheated
on a midterm exam.

He got caught,
he confessed,

and he gave up the other
two guys, as well.

So we got to steal
the thing outright

and somehow make sure
Bryce doesn't report it.

He's got to believe that he's
going to get in more trouble

reporting it than not.

How?

Make him think
he committed a crime.

Murder's the obvious choice.

How do you convince somebody
he's a murderer?

Other crimes--
arson, burglary, rape.

How do you convince him
that he did that?

What?

Well...

You can make it
statutory.

You want me
to lay your friend?

No! No, of course
I don't.

You fuck him, Nick.

Liss...

And after that,
you know who else you can.

Liss, come on!

[Door Closes]

[Telephone Rings]

Answering Machine: This is Nick.
Leave a message.

[Beep]

Man: Tick-tock,
tick-tock,

the mouse ran out the clock,
motherfucker.

[Beep]

[Truck Drives Off]

Ohh!

God.

Nick?

Oh, my God.

OK.

OK. I'll do it.

Oh, Liss.

I'm sorry.

You fucking bastard.

You know what you did.

You bastard.
You fucking bastard!

You know what you did.

You bastard!

Nick: Bryce, it's Nick.

Yeah. How are you?

Good. Good.

Listen, what are you
doing tomorrow night?

No, I got a place. It's called
the Tropico Nocturne.

Nocturne.

Wait. Hold on
one second.

[Telephone Beeps]

Hello.

Yeah, this is he.

Uh-huh. I'll have the money
Sunday morning.

OK. I'll be here.

Say no, and we'll

just call the whole
thing off right now.

Hmm?

Once you've given him

reasonable cause
for concern...

get the hell
out of there.

Wait for the cab
outside on the street,

not even
on the property.

OK.

Is that all?

Yeah, I think so.

I won't see you
until tomorrow night,

and I probably won't
come back here afterwards...

but I'll call you
as soon as it's over.

OK.

If that's
what you want, OK.

Nick.

Are you going to be
OKwith this?

I don't know.

I guess I have to be.
I want to be.

Liss.

Yeah.

Hi, this is me,
and I'm here,

just entertaining some
last-minute reservations.

I thought maybe
you'd want to stop by.

Calling your
girlfriend already?

Hey, have her set me up
with a friend.

I could use getting laid.
Hey, bring a friend!

[Sirens Passing]

Bryce: I got
a joke for you.

There's this elephant
in the jungle,

and he's got a thorn
caught in his foot.

This mouse wanders by.

The elephant
stops him and says,

''I'll give you anything

if you take the thorn
out of my foot.''

The mouse goes, ''OK,
under one condition.

Afterward, I get
to fuck you up the ass.''

And the elephant
nods OK.

The mouse takes this
thorn out of his foot.

The mouse says, '' Hey,
we had an agreement.''

And the elephant
goes, ''OK.''

So the mouse jumps
on top of his back,

he starts
giving the elephant

his business, right?

And meanwhile,
there's a monkey

up above in the trees.

The monkey looks down,

and he sees this mouse
sodomizing this elephant,

and the monkey's
just disgusted.

And he's so upset

that he grabs a coconut
from the tree,

he hurls it
down at them,

the coconut hits the
elephant in the head,

the elephant
hollers in pain,

and the mouse says,
''That's right, baby.

Take it all!''
Ha ha ha!

No. No.

Yes. Yes.

I got to go
to the bathroom.

Ye of little bladder.

Can I set
a running tab, please?

Woman: No problem.

Get out of here.

No.

Listen...

I love you.

Why do you think
I'm doing this?

Woman: Thanks, hon.

[Giggling]

I know, I know. I have
a terrible drinking problem.

Whiskey doesn't
stain, does it?

I don't think so.

Well, it's a hand-me-down
anyway.

Brooks Brothers
handed it down to me.

You want to sit down?

It's only a college buddy
and me.

Sure.

I'm here
by myself, anyway.

I'm Bryce.

I'm Kathy.

Hi, Kathy.

You're back.
Kathy, this is Nick.

- Nick: Hi.
- Hi.

Is this your seat?

Nope. Not anymore.

Could I get that
jacket from you?

Thanks. Bryce,
I'll see you later.

I'm going to go.

Is everything OK?

Yeah. I'm just
a little preoccupied.

No kidding. It's been discovered
that our friend here

is on a very short leash.

Nick: I took care
of that tab.

- Will you at least tip?
- Mm-hmm.

OK. I'll call you tomorrow.
Nice to meet you, Kathy.

Nick: I'm sorry.

Bryce: Nick! There's nothing
to apologize about.

It's OK.

See you, Nick.
See you, buddy.

[Moaning]

We're fucked.

You're telling me.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

I never meant this to happen.
I promise you. I promise.

You didn't
get the key?

Where is it?

Bryce has it.

The note?

No, the key.
I have the note.

No. It's not
in your purse.

I didn't put it
in my purse.

I have it.

What happened?

He just laid there
for a while afterwards.

This is after you...

What then?

Then I started
into my speech,

but he just went
fucking ballistic,

and I tried to go
for the door...

He didn't do anything
to you, did he?

He dragged me down
the stairs, Nick.

I know. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

He's just
a bad drunk is all.

I must look terrific
about now.

No, you...

You wear captivity well.

So where is it? The note.
Where is it?

Really?

You could at least kiss
me when you do that.

Baby.

Thanks.

That was
really sweet.

[Thumping From Upstairs]

...Lord today?

Have you? Have you thought
about the Lord lately?

I'm glad
you're here.

I'm glad, too.

It doesn't mean we have
to stick around, though.

I know.

So, what are we
going to do?

Well, I have two ideas.

First one, I break that pole,
you slide your arms out,

and we go home.

I like that idea.

Do we get the money?

I don't know.

He's been upstairs studying your I.D.s
for the past two hours.

Does he know
they're both fake?

Not yet.

What's idea two?

Bryce: What'd she say?!

'' My uncle is
a fucking lawyer.

He's going to
have your ass.

He's going to
tear the scrotums

off you
cocksuckers, you--''

Jesus! That's it, Nick.

She's not
going to drop it?

What was that
one line? Uh...

'' Both of you are going to rot
in jail the rest of your lives.

Going to be mayors
of ass-rape city.''

[Gagging]

Nick: You might want
to lift the lid there.

[Vomiting]

Jesus, Nick.

Jesus, this shitty
little girl.

You work your whole life,
and one goddamn night, you--

write a doctoral thesis
on Middle English, Middle--

[Vomiting]

Middle fucking English!

To get fucked by some
prom queen in training.

I came once!
I can't even remember.

So you don't get tenure.
So what?

Well, fuck tenure.
I'm unhirable.

I can't even
get a janitor's job.

I might as well
do what you do.

It's all I ever wanted
to do, Nick, was teach.

It's all I know
how to do,

and now I can't because
Miss Bitch-City downstairs

won't let me.

I'm so fucked.

We are.

What?

Aiding and abetting,
Bryce.

Kidnapping.

She's bringing that
against me, too?

Us, Bryce! Us.

Wicked fucking
bitch. Bitch!

Here. Come here.

Wait!

You done?

[Flushes Toilet]

Hey...

I screwed it.
I'm sorry.

She's whacked.

I know.

There's no way you could reason
with someone like that.

God, I'd like
to kill the girl.

She showed up at the bar
alone, right?

Yeah, I think.

Didn't seem like
she knew anybody there,

and nobody would remember you
two leaving together, right?

No, the bartender
saw her kiss me.

I mean, why? What
are you suggesting?

Television: Tropico, the time
has come for you to pitch in.

Bryce.

Hey, are you in this?

It has the production
value of bad porn.

Bryce, you prick.

What?

Why'd you call me?

Why did I call you?

Yeah. Huh?

I called you
because I needed help.

You're a sly one, man.

You're a fucking
sly one!

I'm not trying
to be sly.

Talk to me.

I needed your advice!

Then stop fucking
patronizing me!

I know what you're doing!

Tropico Recycling.
Together...

What?

You have been playing me
for the fool all night,

ever since I walked in
that door.

''What are you
suggesting, Nick?''

Oh, you are sweet.

If you want to kill her,
then say so,

but don't
play games with me.

Kill her?

It's why I got the call--

to give you the nerve.
It's out in the open now.

Don't pussyfoot around.

I-- I...
Kill her?

Yes, Bryce.

I couldn't do that.

You couldn't.

Well, we couldn't.

I can't believe that
you're even saying this.

I mean, actually kill her?
Take her life?

No, the other sense
of the word ''kill.''

What are you doing?

I'm looking
for a pillow.

What for?

There.

Have yourself a time.

This is not
why I called you.

Why else? You were
looking for an alternative

to letting her go?

What other alternative
did you think I'd suggest?

Consciously or not,
this is what you want.

This is why
you called me.

Can we really do this?

Come here.

Sit.

Can we do this?
Yes, I think we can.

No one can associate you
with the girl.

There are no witnesses
to your meeting except me,

and I'm your alibi
for the entire evening.

No, no. I mean,
can we really...

I mean,
she's-- she's--

She's a person, I know,
with an actual life,

and we're talking
about ending it.

You're right. That's...
That's pretty horrible.

But remember, we're talking
about 3 lives here--

hers and both of ours.

I just want to do
what's right.

I do, too.

And this is a moral issue,
but it's also a practical one.

The greatest good for
the greatest number of people.

It's a tough one, granted.

We save her, we screw us,
and vice versa,

But think--
Who's worth saving here?

Who's created this problem?

Someone is going to
get hurt, Bryce.

It's just
a question of who.

Anyway.

It's your decision to make.
I'll stand by whatever you say.

OK.

I guess I'll do it.

No, no, no. I'll do it.

You sure?

That's why you called.

What's that?

It's what
it looks like.

She gave you that?

It's weird
because I remember her

being really into it,
screaming like a champ.

I must have been
doing something right.

I need the key
now, Bryce.

What?

Handcuffs.

Oh.

[Exhales]

I'll be back
in a couple minutes.

What now?

You die.

Oh, God.

Huh!

All right.

[Alarm Ringing]

Oh! Sorry.

[Alarm Stops]

You need a hand?

No. I got her.

Shit. I forgot
her purse.

Just hang in there
a little longer.

I'll have you out
in two seconds.

I don't know if I want
to go through with this.

It's just a little longer.
Just hang in there, OK?

Nick, please.

Bryce:
What are you doing?

What do you mean?

No, you're not
coming with me.

Yeah, I am.

No. I don't want you.
I can't use you.

What are you
going to do?

There's an incinerator
at the recycling plant.

I'm going to
put her in it.

Is that safe?

Nobody arrives
at work till 9:00,

now get out.
Come on.

Wait!
What about her car?

All right,
what about it?!

If they report her missing,
the police will track the car.

When they find it, they'll
ask around the Nocturne.

OK, fine.
I'll move it.

You'll need the keys.

You have them?

Look, I can't
stay here alone!

I just can't stay here.

I-- I need to eat
something.

OK.

I'll drop you off
to eat.

Then I'll deal
with the girl...

and then I'll deal
with her car.

OK?

OK.

OK.

[Starts Engine]

Isn't there a minimum
speed limit or something?

Man On Radio:
# Glow worm, glimmer, glimmer #

# Lead us, lest too far
we wander #

# Love's sweet voice
is callin' yonder #

# Shine, little glow worm
glimmer, glimmer, hey #

#And don't get
dimmer, dimmer #

# Light the path
below, above #

#And lead us on
to love #

Ha ha ha!

What?

This song.

What about it?

It's all about sperm.

No, it's not.

Oh, come on.

'' Light the path that
leads us on to love''?

This little glow worm is like
Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Sperm,

leading
all the other sperm up.

Of course it is.

[Turns Off Radio]

You know, not
everything in the world

revolves around fucking.

No,just most things.

No, they don't.

They revolve around
money and power

and sometimes spite.

You know what?
That's history's view.

Literature's view is
it's all about fucking.

[Siren]

Oh, shit.

Nick, turn around.

Nick!

Goddamn it, Bryce,
calm the fuck down!

Shit, Nick.
Nick, turn around!

Calm down.
Calm down.

Slow down!
Slow down!

All right, we got a car
coming through!

Clear a lane there!
Clear a lane!

[Men Shouting]

Keep moving there.
Keep moving.

Let's get some hands
over here!

Pull around
to the left there.

You guys, over here.

Get that hose
straightened.

Bryce: Nick? Nick, there's
a car following us.

Nick: Keep it up,
Bryce.

Drunk and paranoid
looks good on you.

Shit! I think
it's a cop, Nick.

They're going to stop us.
What if they stop us?

What if they check
the trunk?

Shut the fuck up!

See?
It's not a cop.

Nick?

Man: Time's up,
motherfucker!

Aah! Aah!

Get out
of the fucking car!

Bryce: Please!
Please! Please!

No! No! No!
No! No! No!

Don't hit--
Don't hit-- Don't hit me!

Don't hit me!
Don't hit me!

[Engine Revving]

You fuck!

I'll fucking kill you,
you son of a bitch!

Ugh!

Nick!

Nick!

What are we
going to do now?

They just took the car!
They're going to find her!

Lissa, Lissa, Lissa,
Lissa, Lissa, Lissa...

Nick!

Nick, what are we
going to do?

Quiet!

Nick, they're going to--

They're going to
call the police.

Bryce,
they're car thieves.

They're not going to
call the police.

Nick, get up!

Come on.

Nick, get up.

Nick.

Nick, what--

I'll take care of it.

Just go home, OK?
Just go home.

But--

Just--Just...

[Telephone Rings]

[Ring]

Nick, Answering Machine:
This is Nick. Leave a message.

I'm here.
I'm here. I'm here.

[Beep]

Hello?

Man: We got
something of yours.

Got two things
of yours, actually.

What do you
want me to do?

Stop checking your ass
out in the mirror.

You coming?

Man: Boy, you got
a funny idea about chivalry.

When me and my lady
go driving,

she always rides
up front with me.

I thought our date
was Sunday.

It was.
I bumped it up.

Thought you might be getting
a little flighty.

Apparently you've been
getting something.

What the fuck
you been up to?

Where is she?

Man: Don't worry.

We ain't offered her
any soda.

1 50 years ago,
we had

a very curious economic
system in this country.

There was
a civil war.

Yeah. I read
about it.

But before that,

my great-great-great-
grandmother

was put up for auction.

Set a female record
in Georgia-- $800.

Now, given inflation
with today's dollars,

she was sold
for approximately...

1 0 Gs
and some change.

Is that
your asking price?

Mm-hmm. That will be a total
of $25,000 you owe me.

I can get you 20
in 3 or 4 hours,

if you can wait
that long.

Freddie will
drive you back.

Your girlfriend
will stay here...

while you go get
your daddy's money.

Wait a minute.

How did you know
about my dad?

[Crack]

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Man: Hey!

Hey.

Man: Oh...

fuck!

Nick.

Ha ha!

It's just...

you know...

What did we steal?

Baking flour.

We thought you got
all that money

from your dad,
you know, and the house.

Ha ha! What's 20 grand?

I mean, come on.

We didn't expect you
to pull all this shit.

What's your story?

I'm a finance major.

We all got
tuitions to pay.

Uh...

I'm just
his cousin, man.

Man:
By marriage.

Ha ha ha!

[Moaning]

Aah! You fuck!

[Glass Shattering]

[All Shouting At Once]

Come on, man!
Calm down, man!

Get up off of me!

What the hell is wrong
with you, man?

Calm down!

Man: Come on, man.
Let's get him out of here.

Come on, let's go.

What, you never fucked
a friend before?

No-- No hard
feelings, man.

Hey, sorry about
your car, dude.

Uh, you can call the police
if you want,

but you know,
you do that,

we'll start mentioning
the chick in the trunk.

Man: #Take me back #

We'll try and get
your wheels back.

#To where you hide #

# Lay me down #

# Lay me down inside #

Excuse me. Do you know
what time it is?

7:30.

We got to be at Charlie's
in two hours.

But, Nick, why?

It's the most fucked-up
night of my pathetic life.

[Car Horns Honking]

Lissa!

Liss!

Liss!

Wait! Look,
I'm sorry!

I'm sorry I put you
through all this!

Don't apologize
to me, Nick. Don't.

That only makes this
whole situation worse.

You were in a hole,

and I did what
I needed to do.

But we can still
salvage some of this.

We can still
get the money.

The money, Nick?

Bryce has no idea you're
still alive. We could--

What,just
fuck him over?

Just fuck him over
for the hell of it?

This was never
about money, Nick.

This was about you
being stuck

in the same place
for your whole life.

Shit.

You two together?

I'm not sure.

[Toilet Flushing]

Nick!

Jesus, you're here.

Bryce.

What's going on?
Did you find the car?

What are you
doing here?

I was starved. This was
the only place open.

I told you
to go home.

Yeah, I know,
but, um...

Nick, I don't think
I can handle this.

I've got this
sick feeling inside.

It's like a tightness
in my chest,

and I feel like it's
kind of going to burst.

You killed her, Nick.

Excuse me?

You killed her.
You smothered her.

I mean,
she was a person.

Now she's just dead.

Lissa: Yeah,
can I get a cab?

OK? And I can't
handle it.

I mean, I just can't
go through with it.

I got to talk
to somebody.

Yeah? Ha ha!

Of course you do.

I'm sorry, Nick.
I got to--

I'm going
to the police.

For me. I have to.

You know
something, Bryce?

You're an asshole.

In fact, you've always
been an asshole,

even in college.

I think that's why
I never really liked you.

Nick, I'm having a crisis
of conscience here.

There's no need
to be rude.

Oh. What the fuck
is this?

What the fuck
is that?

Lissa, wait.

What?

Lissa?

Christ, she's not--

What--

What the fuck
is going on?

Bryce, this is Lissa.

She's my girlfriend.

Was my girlfriend.

What happened? I mean,
I thought she was in--

She slept with you...

to steal that...

to save my life.

And if she leaves me now,

I'm never going to be able
to make it up to her,

and I badly need
to make it up to her.

[Door Closes]

Bryce: I never
liked you, either!

Wow.

Cabdriver: What's it
going to be-- in or out?

I thought
you were leaving.

I thought I was, too.

Then I realized
I didn't have any money.

Ha ha ha!

Let's walk?

Where?

Anywhere...

away from here.

Neneh Cherry:
#The first kiss #

#You planted
to my face #

#The second twist #

#The taste of fear #

#Took up all the space #

# In here #

- # More or less #
- # Pick a way out #

# In the twisted mess #

- # More or less #
- # Disintegrated #

# Strategically
impressed #

- # More or less #
- # No longer residents #

#At a new address #

- # More or less #
- # Scratch me like a perfume ad #

# Recycle
all the plans we had #

# More or less #

- #Whenever I think #
- # More or less #

- #Whoever I take #
- # More or less #

- # However it breaks #
- # More or less #

# Someone's
going to fall #

# I sense a grain
of stress #

# Hurting you
more or less #

# I pick up
this twisted mess #

# Like sinking ships #

# Dragged into abyss #

#Just slammin' #

# In sinfulness #

#Wherever I take
the night #

# Keepin' it
eye to eye #

#Just slammin' #

#With tastiness #

# Pick a way out
in the twisted mess #

- # More or less #
- # Disintegrated #

# Strategically
digress #

- # More or less #
- # No longer residents #

#At your own address #

- # More or less #
- #Watch me like a prison guard #

- # Swipe me like a credit card #
- # More or less #

- #Whenever I think #
- # More or less #

- #Whoever I take #
- # More or less #

- # However it breaks #
- # More or less #

# Someone's
going to fall #

# I sense
a grain of stress #

# Hurting you
more or less #

# I pick up
this twisted mess #

# More or less #

# More or less #

#Take me, shake me,
knock me away #

#A million ways
that we relayed #

#We've all come
to suffocate #

#To make it through
the night today #

- # More or less #
- # Count the days strategically #

- # More or less #
-#The cravin' to believe in me #

- # More or less #
- #Who to blame and who to be #

- # More or less #
- # Make it through the night with me #

- # Now it's tastin'-- #
- #Whenever I think #

- #The fear that slowly-- #
- #Whatever I take #

- # Now I stop to-- #
- # However it breaks #

- #You belong to-- #
- # Someone's going to fall #

# I sense
a grain of stress #

- # Hurting you #
- # More or less #

# Now I stop to reminisce
and now #

# Movin' on
Picture this #

#Twisted mess #

#Twisted mess #

#Twisted mess #

#Twisted mess #

#Twisted mess #

#Twisted mess #