Original subtitles

Are you going to eat your pie?

-Or can I... -You've had two pieces of pie.

IncidentaIIy, when are you going to pay me for your board and room?

I gave it to him.

-Why? -He said he was boss, now.

He did?

Don't get sore. I was onIy kidding.

From now on, you onIy pay me.

WeII...

We've got to be running aIong. Come on StanIey.

-Bye, honey. -Bye.

-Where do you think you're going? -We're going to the baII game.

You're going to the baII game.

We businessmen have to reIax some time, don't we?

We certainIy do.

If you want to reIax, you can stay home and wash these dishes.

-What do you mean ''wash the dishes''? -Yeah, what wiII his friends think?

You keep out of this.

You stay home. Come on, the dishes.

-I'II be seeing you. -No you don't!

If I have to stay and wash the dishes, he's going to dry them.

I don't care who does what.

But you won't Ieave me here washing the dishes aIone.

After we get through, can we go to the baII game?

You can do what you Iike.

Thank you, honey. Mrs. Hardy.

Get me the dish pan.

Over there.

Get me the soap powder.

Don't forget to rinse them off.

Get out of the way.

PuII out that board.

Don't keep handing them to me.

When you get it dry, put it in a nice dry pIace.

Now we're getting somepIace.

You open the cupboard. I'II put that away.

See who that is.

-Is Mr. Hardy home? -Yes, but he's not in.

What's the matter with you. Too Iazy to answer the door?

-Good afternoon, Mr. FinIayson. -Good afternoon.

-What's the idea? -I'm coIIecting the furniture payment.

It was paid yesterday.

Steady, woman. Not to me, it wasn't.

-OIiver! -Yes, baby, I'm coming.

OIiver, there must be some mistake.

Did I or did I not give you the money to pay on the furniture?

-You certainIy did. -Then why wasn't it paid?

I gave it to him to pay it for me.

-What did you do with it? -I gave it back to him.

You gave it to me?

Yeah, I gave it to you to pay my room and board.

Then you gave it to her. ''Recommember''?

You mean the money that he gave to you that you gave to him

that he gave to me, was the same money I gave to him to pay him?

If that was the money you gave him to give me to pay to him

it must've been the money that I gave him to give to you to pay my rent.

-Mr. FinIayson, I owe you an apoIogy. -And 37 doIIars.

Then this money must beIong to you.

Next time, I want my payment without any detour.

He gave it to him and he gave it to you and who give it to what.

You're aII nuts!

You big dumb-beII. I can't trust you to do a thing.

And as for you. I've a good mind to throw you out.

-You can't do it. -I can't do it!

No, because I paid my room and board in advance.

And I gave it to him.

What do you mean ''you gave it to me''?

That was the money that she gave to me

and I gave it to you to give to him

then you gave it back to me and I had to give it to her

to give to him.

Was the the money that she gave to him that I gave to you

-to give to... -CertainIy.

WeII if she wants to give it to him that's her business.

-No use you and I arguing about it. -Cut it out!

What humiIiation.

Creditors hounding me at my very fire-side.

-You know what? -What?

I've got an idea.

Let's hear it.

How much money have you and your wife got in the bank?

WeII, if it's any of your business, we have a joint account

of 300 doIIars. Why?

Why don't you draw the money out of the bank

pay off the furniture and own it outright?

You wouIdn't have any interest to pay.

And you wouIdn't have any hounds in your firepIace.

-That's a good idea. -I'm gIad you Iike it.

-Honey? -What is it?

-StanIey's got a great idea. -What now.

He said we shouId draw our money out of the bank

-and pay the furniture off. -We'II do nothing of the kind.

That money stays right where it is.

Listen, tumbIeweed, from now on, you mind your own business.

''Draw the money out of the bank'', the very idea!

I've come to the concIusion you haven't an ounce of brain.

-You Iet her taIk to you Iike that? -CertainIy not.

I don't bIame you.

She taIks to you Iike water off a duck's back.

If she was my wife, I'd draw out of the bank and buy some furniture.

StanIey, you're absoIuteIy right.

I'II Iearn her.

Come on.

-You know where the bank is? -CertainIy.

300 doIIars.

-That's a Iot of money. -It sure is.

Ladies and gentIemen,

this beautifuI antique is worth 25 hundred doIIars.

You're asking me to give it away for 150 doIIars?

155.

155, thank you sir, you won't regret it.

155 for the beautifuI antique cIock.

At Iast we get something for nothing.

-160. -160 doIIars. Do I hear any more?

160 doIIars for this beautifuI antique cIock.

GentIemen, step right up. We're giving things away today.

There's pIenty of seats right in front here.

200 doIIars.

Don't Iet this stop at 200 doIIars.

-200 doIIars once... -205.

-205, 205! -210.

-210! -225 doIIars.

-225 doIIars! -230.

230 doIIars once...!

-Just a minute. -Take your time.

PIease, wiII you do me favor? My heart is set on having that cIock.

But I've Ieft my money at home.

WiII you keep the bidding open untiI I go home and get my money?

Don't Iet anyone have it. I'II pay you weII for your troubIe.

Being a true southerner, chivaIry is my middIe name

to say nothing about hospitaIity.

230 doIIars! Do I hear any more?

-230 doIIar going once...! -235.

Thank you. I'II be back in a minute.

235 once, 235 going twice!

Third and Iast caII!

-240 doIIars. -240 doIIars!

Do I hear any more? 240 doIIars.

-245. -245 doIIars!

-250. -250 doIIars!

-255. -255!

-260. -260!

-265. -265!

-270. -270!

270... What are you bidding against me for?

You're bidding against me. 275.

-275! -280.

-280! -285.

-285! -290.

290! 290!

SoId to the joIIy gentIeman for 290 doIIars.

Thank you.

FoIks, that concIudes the saIe for today.

You!

Come pay your money and take you cIock out of here.

Pardon me just a moment.

I beg your pardon sir, but you don't understand.

I wasn't bidding for myseIf. I was bidding for a Iady

and she went home to get her money.

Yeah? WeII, you did the bidding and you'II do the paying.

-Boss. -Yes.

-What is it? -He bought a cIock and won't pay.

Is that so? We've got a reaI...

I'II handIe this.

I've had troubIe with these birds before.

You pay this money that you bid or I'II caII the cops!

You take that cIock and get out of here!

''You gave it to him and he gave it to me and I''...

Get out!

Get out!

-Good morning. -Good morning, Mrs. Hardy.

I wonder if you'II do me a favor. I have a joint account with my husband

and I'd Iike to fix it that nobody can draw the money out but me.

I'd be gIad to do it for you

-but you husband was here just now. -Very nice, thank you.

What? Did he take the money?

Yes, ma'am. AII of it.

He cIosed the account.

-OIIie. -What?

Let's put it down a minute.

-Mr. FinIayson. -Yes?

-Have you seen my husband? -He was here a whiIe ago.

Thank goodness for that. Did he pay you for the furniture?

No.

What was he doing here?

-He bought a grandfather's cIock. -A cIock?

-What for? -For 290 doIIars. That's what for.

Here's another nice kettIe of fish you've pickIed me in.

What wiII you teII her about the cIock?

I'II teII her nothing. I'II keep everything in the dark.

And if you keep your mouth shut, nobody wiII be the wiser.

HeIIo, honey.

-What's the matter? -Where's the cIock?

-What cIock? -The cIock you paid 290 doIIars for.

Why that's ridicuIous.

Where wouId I get 290 doIIars?

Where's that cIock?

I don't know. He said he wouId keep it in the dark.

And if I didn't keep my mouth shut then nobody wouId be the wiser.

Why didn't you keep your trap shut?

Give me that chair.

-Are you cooking something? -Yes, I'II cook his goose!

Taking my money out of the bank. I'II give him cIocks.

You can go in. The second room on the right corridor.

Thank you.

-Good morning, Mr. LaureI. -Good morning.

-How is Mr. Hardy. -I beIieve he's convaIescing.

Okay. I'II wait untiI he gets through.

I'II sit over here.

Get Mr. LaureI on the phone.

-Have him down here at once. -That's Mr. LaureI there.

Good. We need you. Right this way.

I regret to inform you that Mr. Hardy has had a reIapse.

I find it necessary to give him a bIood transfusion.

Mr. Hardy has suggested that you, being his best friend wouId be pIeased

-to Iet us take the bIood from you. -How do you mean?

We take some of your bIood and transfer it to Mr. Hardy.

To give him strength and make him weII.

What do you think I am, a bIood-worm?

-Nurse? -Yes, sir.

Take Mr. LaureI upstairs. Prepare him for the operation.

-Right this way. -Wait a minute.

Do I have to take my hat off?. I'm afraid!

-Ready, nurse? -Ready, doctor.

Open the vaIve.

-Doctor! Look! -CIose the vaIve, quickIy!

-It won't work. -It must. Try it again.

Get the doctor.

-Doctor, that LaureI and Hardy case. -What's the matter?

Mr. LaureI has passed out.

-We've taken too much bIood. -Reverse the operation.

Take some from Mr. Hardy and give it to Mr. LaureI!

But that'II get them aII mixed up.

What difference does it make. Do what I teII you!

Yes, sir.

They come to me for everything.

Come on!

WeII, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into.

WeII, I couIdn't heIp it. The doctor sent me upstairs

to get a bIood transfusion and I Iook Iike you and you Iook Iike me

-now I don't know what to do. -Shut up and come on!

Goodbye, Mr. Hardy.

Goodbye.

Goodbye, Mr. LaureI.

Goodbye, my dear madam.

Wait a minute, I forgot something.