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1
00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:05,719
A girl in pigtails once said,
"There's no place like home."
2
00:01:08,858 --> 00:01:12,403
But then her home didn't have a toilet
that flushed for no reason...
3
00:01:15,514 --> 00:01:18,776
and a boyfriend who was moving out
for one big reason.
4
00:01:23,737 --> 00:01:25,264
That's the last of it.
5
00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:31,342
Okay.
6
00:01:33,208 --> 00:01:34,768
You want me to fix that?
7
00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:37,709
No, it's okay.
I can get someone to come and fix it.
8
00:01:40,152 --> 00:01:42,421
Just let me get in there for a second.
9
00:01:47,895 --> 00:01:51,190
Hold the ball cock.
This thing right here.
10
00:01:52,918 --> 00:01:54,260
Right there.
11
00:01:58,646 --> 00:02:00,337
That should do it.
12
00:02:02,869 --> 00:02:04,113
I should go.
13
00:02:08,085 --> 00:02:09,492
You can't leave.
14
00:02:10,517 --> 00:02:13,266
Our last words to each other
can't be "ball cock."
15
00:02:15,700 --> 00:02:17,740
You should definitely stay...
16
00:02:19,252 --> 00:02:21,194
at least for another day.
17
00:02:22,036 --> 00:02:25,385
- Or forever.
- We've been through this.
18
00:02:27,379 --> 00:02:28,590
I can't.
19
00:02:31,891 --> 00:02:33,069
Are you sure?
20
00:02:34,419 --> 00:02:35,466
I am.
21
00:02:38,355 --> 00:02:39,500
Aidan...
22
00:02:42,675 --> 00:02:45,838
this is difficult to say.
23
00:02:48,850 --> 00:02:52,591
I left the ring on the clown table.
24
00:02:53,586 --> 00:02:54,534
That's yours.
25
00:02:54,609 --> 00:02:58,635
No, I should never have accepted it
in the first place. I'm sorry.
26
00:02:59,793 --> 00:03:02,662
- Please take the ring.
- I want you to have it.
27
00:03:02,736 --> 00:03:06,413
Please take it. If you do or say...
28
00:03:09,072 --> 00:03:10,632
one more nice thing...
29
00:03:15,952 --> 00:03:17,129
I got to go.
30
00:03:17,232 --> 00:03:19,653
I can't watch you leave,
so I think I am gonna...
31
00:03:19,727 --> 00:03:23,076
I'm better... I'm gonna stand here.
Could you just...
32
00:03:23,695 --> 00:03:25,866
Could you just shut the door?
33
00:03:27,438 --> 00:03:28,485
I know.
34
00:03:29,711 --> 00:03:30,693
Go.
35
00:03:48,620 --> 00:03:52,330
Three hours later,
I peeled myself off the bathroom floor.
36
00:04:02,059 --> 00:04:05,987
Apparently, there were things
that were difficult for Aidan to say, as well.
37
00:04:14,923 --> 00:04:17,824
I curled up
to read Aidan's last words to me...
38
00:04:18,090 --> 00:04:20,578
also known as the good-bye letter.
39
00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:34,150
- Aidan's evicting her?
- He's not evicting her.
40
00:04:34,217 --> 00:04:36,835
He's giving her 30 days
to decide what she wants to do.
41
00:04:36,905 --> 00:04:39,654
- That's just tacky.
- Look, life gets complicated.
42
00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:42,687
Steve and I are drawing up papers
to timeshare our kid.
43
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:45,793
Great love stories are supposed to end
with tragedy and tears...
44
00:04:45,863 --> 00:04:48,994
not papers from the law firm
of Gold and Vogel.
45
00:04:49,063 --> 00:04:52,380
This is more than fair.
He's asking you to buy your apartment...
46
00:04:52,455 --> 00:04:55,750
for the exact price he paid,
or you can vacate and he'll sell it.
47
00:04:55,815 --> 00:04:58,432
Vacate? I'm homeless.
48
00:04:58,502 --> 00:05:00,674
I'll be a bag lady, a Fendi bag lady.
49
00:05:00,743 --> 00:05:02,630
You should think of buying your place.
50
00:05:02,694 --> 00:05:05,858
I am not a buyer. New York is
a town of renters. Everybody rents.
51
00:05:05,926 --> 00:05:07,300
- I don't.
- I don't.
52
00:05:07,366 --> 00:05:09,471
- I don't.
- You got yours in the settlement.
53
00:05:09,542 --> 00:05:11,451
You did not have to pay for it.
54
00:05:11,525 --> 00:05:13,914
I paid for that apartment.
55
00:05:16,421 --> 00:05:18,428
I'm pregnant. I can't control it.
56
00:05:18,501 --> 00:05:22,078
Honey, you better learn,
because that is unappetizing.
57
00:05:22,148 --> 00:05:25,497
I know. I am so swollen and gassy.
58
00:05:25,572 --> 00:05:27,295
I am like a flotation device.
59
00:05:27,364 --> 00:05:30,114
I'll get this one,
and I don't want a fight out of you.
60
00:05:30,180 --> 00:05:32,514
Save it for your down payment.
61
00:05:34,275 --> 00:05:37,057
Excuse me! You bought the Chanel wallet?
62
00:05:37,124 --> 00:05:39,163
No, Richard gave it to me as a gift.
63
00:05:39,235 --> 00:05:41,537
- Nice. What was the occasion?
- No occasion.
64
00:05:41,603 --> 00:05:43,610
- He is in love with you.
- He is not.
65
00:05:43,683 --> 00:05:45,854
- You don't know that.
- I do.
66
00:05:46,371 --> 00:05:48,345
Take a look at the card.
67
00:05:49,506 --> 00:05:52,156
"Style for style. Best, Richard."
68
00:05:52,226 --> 00:05:54,593
- "Best." Yikes.
- "Best" is the worst.
69
00:05:54,658 --> 00:05:56,698
Even Gold and Vogel give you "sincerely."
70
00:05:56,770 --> 00:05:58,428
"Best" is like signing "Not love."
71
00:05:58,498 --> 00:06:01,596
It's the thought that counts.
He bought you something you'd love.
72
00:06:01,665 --> 00:06:04,120
He's a pretty generous guy with money.
73
00:06:04,193 --> 00:06:07,738
- Aidan wanted me to keep the ring.
- You did, didn't you?
74
00:06:09,601 --> 00:06:11,989
- Honey, you're a fool.
- No.
75
00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:14,207
It was the right thing to do.
76
00:06:15,104 --> 00:06:18,268
- Do you ever think about giving yours back?
- No, I love that ring.
77
00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:22,613
I couldn't keep it. Every time I looked at it,
it would break my heart.
78
00:06:26,975 --> 00:06:28,469
This ring is worth a lot.
79
00:06:28,543 --> 00:06:31,412
Tiffany. 2.17 carats, platinum setting.
80
00:06:31,518 --> 00:06:35,741
Beautiful cut, very few inclusions.
So, what do you want to do with it?
81
00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:38,877
I was thinking
maybe I'd turn it into a necklace.
82
00:06:38,942 --> 00:06:42,803
A floating diamond necklace
would be to die. Very now.
83
00:06:42,877 --> 00:06:46,455
- So, a lot of people do this.
- These were my baguettes.
84
00:06:46,685 --> 00:06:49,402
Because it turned out
my husband was a faggot...
85
00:06:49,469 --> 00:06:51,891
now they're earrings. But he had good taste.
86
00:06:52,605 --> 00:06:55,921
- So, a necklace?
- I'm not sure.
87
00:06:55,996 --> 00:06:58,843
Maybe a pendant.
We can melt down the platinum setting...
88
00:06:58,908 --> 00:07:02,257
- and turn it into spectacular earrings.
- Melt it down?
89
00:07:03,931 --> 00:07:07,924
There, in the wedding band boneyard,
Charlotte started to melt down.
90
00:07:07,995 --> 00:07:10,329
I don't think I'm ready for this.
91
00:07:10,683 --> 00:07:13,552
Just don't take it to the gypsies next door.
92
00:07:17,211 --> 00:07:21,488
Okay. Let's look at your assets
here at the bank.
93
00:07:21,562 --> 00:07:24,693
You may be able to use them
as collateral for the loan.
94
00:07:24,762 --> 00:07:26,168
Linda, Line 1.
95
00:07:26,842 --> 00:07:30,638
It says here that you have
$700 in your checking account.
96
00:07:30,713 --> 00:07:32,655
I just paid my credit card bill.
97
00:07:33,209 --> 00:07:34,322
And...
98
00:07:34,617 --> 00:07:37,300
$957 in savings.
99
00:07:39,641 --> 00:07:41,550
Look, Linda.
100
00:07:42,296 --> 00:07:45,973
You're single, right?
I'm sure you can appreciate my problem.
101
00:07:46,584 --> 00:07:51,253
I just broke up with my fianc�,
which, trust me, is traumatic enough...
102
00:07:51,319 --> 00:07:52,813
Linda, Line 2.
103
00:07:52,887 --> 00:07:54,829
And now I have...
104
00:07:54,903 --> 00:07:58,251
twenty-five days
to either find the money to buy my place...
105
00:07:58,679 --> 00:08:00,501
or I am out on the street.
106
00:08:01,174 --> 00:08:05,330
Do you have any other income,
besides the column?
107
00:08:05,398 --> 00:08:06,380
No.
108
00:08:06,454 --> 00:08:10,578
But I was chosen as New York magazine's
best pick for city columnist.
109
00:08:10,646 --> 00:08:12,588
I was the pick over Pete Hamill.
110
00:08:12,662 --> 00:08:15,028
What about your assets outside the bank?
111
00:08:15,413 --> 00:08:18,762
- Property, stocks, bonds?
- No.
112
00:08:19,157 --> 00:08:21,906
I'm sorry, Ms. Bradshaw...
113
00:08:22,485 --> 00:08:25,584
but you are not a desirable candidate...
114
00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:27,281
for a loan.
115
00:08:31,572 --> 00:08:34,671
After assessing what little assets I had...
116
00:08:34,740 --> 00:08:37,903
I realized I would have to change
my lifestyle.
117
00:08:37,971 --> 00:08:40,688
Excuse me, could you tell me
how much the bus is?
118
00:08:40,755 --> 00:08:41,999
$1.50.
119
00:08:42,131 --> 00:08:44,433
Really? Wow.
120
00:08:44,499 --> 00:08:47,150
Last time I took the bus, it was like 75 cents.
121
00:08:47,346 --> 00:08:50,412
You know, for $3 more,
you could take a cab.
122
00:08:54,994 --> 00:08:56,717
For crying out loud.
123
00:08:57,426 --> 00:09:00,425
Why do you have to take the bus
if you're on the bus?
124
00:09:01,426 --> 00:09:03,214
My thoughts exactly.
125
00:09:04,049 --> 00:09:08,588
So here I was, a 35-year-old single woman
with no financial security...
126
00:09:08,657 --> 00:09:11,046
but many life experiences behind me.
127
00:09:11,248 --> 00:09:12,590
Did that mean nothing?
128
00:09:12,784 --> 00:09:16,461
After all, heartbreak and breakups
are the hardest kind of work.
129
00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:19,622
So shouldn't there be
some sort of credit for enduring them?
130
00:09:19,696 --> 00:09:22,543
And if not, how do you retain
a sense of value...
131
00:09:22,607 --> 00:09:25,192
when you have nothing concrete
to show for it?
132
00:09:25,263 --> 00:09:29,486
Because at the end
of yet another failed relationship...
133
00:09:29,807 --> 00:09:32,774
when all you have
are war wounds and self doubt...
134
00:09:33,134 --> 00:09:36,483
you have to wonder, what's it all worth?
135
00:09:38,319 --> 00:09:41,253
Let me just say again, I love your gallery...
136
00:09:41,326 --> 00:09:44,621
so if there are ever any openings,
you have my r�sum�.
137
00:09:44,878 --> 00:09:48,041
Meanwhile, a woman
with far fewer financial worries...
138
00:09:48,109 --> 00:09:50,281
was also contemplating her worth.
139
00:10:05,803 --> 00:10:09,894
Charlotte knew the ring didn't mean
as much, now that she wasn't with Trey.
140
00:10:10,859 --> 00:10:13,608
But on that particularly low Thursday...
141
00:10:14,507 --> 00:10:17,802
she put on her 2. 17-carat diamond...
142
00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:21,795
and wandered around
her 2. 17-carat Park Avenue apartment.
143
00:10:31,369 --> 00:10:33,474
That night, at Richard's...
144
00:10:33,929 --> 00:10:37,671
- Another gift. Are you trying to spoil me?
- That's the plan.
145
00:10:38,057 --> 00:10:41,220
- La Petite Coquette, my favorite.
- I know. I pay attention.
146
00:10:41,288 --> 00:10:43,427
Wait a minute. There's a card.
147
00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:46,469
The card.
148
00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:51,047
"Sexy for sexy. Best, Richard."
149
00:10:51,368 --> 00:10:54,663
Why don't you slip into that,
while I pour us some Cristal?
150
00:10:54,727 --> 00:10:56,614
I'll do my very best.
151
00:10:58,471 --> 00:11:02,115
Water, water everywhere,
and not a drop to drink.
152
00:11:03,398 --> 00:11:07,173
This is torture. Why are you
doing this to me? I can't buy shoes.
153
00:11:07,270 --> 00:11:09,888
I have to buy shoes.
None of my old ones fit.
154
00:11:09,958 --> 00:11:11,519
Even my feet are fat.
155
00:11:11,654 --> 00:11:14,207
- These are pretty.
- I'm looking for comfortable.
156
00:11:14,278 --> 00:11:16,066
Then I'll try these for you.
157
00:11:16,230 --> 00:11:19,743
Excuse me, sir, could I try these, please,
in a seven-and-a-half?
158
00:11:21,093 --> 00:11:22,467
And these.
159
00:11:24,133 --> 00:11:25,889
I guess, just all of these.
160
00:11:25,957 --> 00:11:29,469
But, sir, no matter what happens
in the next 20 minutes...
161
00:11:29,540 --> 00:11:31,962
under no circumstances am I to buy these.
162
00:11:32,324 --> 00:11:35,390
- I'm just trying them on for fun.
- How fun for me.
163
00:11:37,059 --> 00:11:38,586
Could I try these in a nine?
164
00:11:38,660 --> 00:11:39,838
- Sure.
- Thanks.
165
00:11:43,779 --> 00:11:46,429
- What is that smell?
- Sorry.
166
00:11:46,498 --> 00:11:49,597
I've learned to control the sound now,
but not the activity.
167
00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:51,521
That's just mean.
168
00:11:52,226 --> 00:11:53,175
Damn!
169
00:11:53,538 --> 00:11:55,905
How'll people know to scatter
without a warning?
170
00:11:55,970 --> 00:11:59,199
Although, maybe
it's not that I control the noise...
171
00:11:59,266 --> 00:12:02,811
as much as my ass is so big
the sound is now muffled.
172
00:12:03,266 --> 00:12:06,681
Look at my fingers. They're like sausages.
I can't even get my ring off.
173
00:12:06,753 --> 00:12:10,614
I'm telling you, the fat ass,
the farting, it's ridiculous.
174
00:12:10,689 --> 00:12:12,347
I am unfuckable...
175
00:12:12,416 --> 00:12:15,351
and I have never been so horny
in my entire life.
176
00:12:15,424 --> 00:12:17,180
- Really?
- Yeah.
177
00:12:17,248 --> 00:12:19,670
That's why you should be married
while pregnant...
178
00:12:19,744 --> 00:12:22,645
so somebody is obligated
to have sex with you.
179
00:12:24,191 --> 00:12:27,126
- I'm an undesirable.
- No. I am.
180
00:12:28,159 --> 00:12:32,153
The lady at the bank said
I was an unattractive candidate for a loan.
181
00:12:32,703 --> 00:12:35,420
Where did all my money go?
I know I've made some.
182
00:12:36,607 --> 00:12:39,705
At $400 a pop,
how many of these do you have?
183
00:12:39,774 --> 00:12:42,076
- Fifty?
- Come on.
184
00:12:42,270 --> 00:12:45,368
- A hundred?
- Would that be wrong?
185
00:12:45,438 --> 00:12:47,925
100 times 400, there's your down payment.
186
00:12:48,062 --> 00:12:49,971
That's only $4,000.
187
00:12:50,269 --> 00:12:51,927
No, it's $40,000.
188
00:12:53,789 --> 00:12:55,065
I spent...
189
00:12:55,261 --> 00:12:57,911
$40,000 on shoes...
190
00:12:57,981 --> 00:13:00,053
and I have no place to live?
191
00:13:01,661 --> 00:13:05,238
I will literally be the old woman
who lived in her shoes.
192
00:13:09,915 --> 00:13:13,777
I pulled my own finger.
I'm a walking whoopie cushion.
193
00:13:15,323 --> 00:13:18,072
When a girl gets backed up against a wall
she can't afford...
194
00:13:18,139 --> 00:13:20,212
she has to consider renting others.
195
00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:22,776
That's the closet?
196
00:13:23,610 --> 00:13:24,854
Where do the shoes go?
197
00:13:25,018 --> 00:13:27,701
You get one of those racks
that hang on the door.
198
00:13:28,762 --> 00:13:31,795
I'll hang myself on a door
if I have to live here.
199
00:13:35,449 --> 00:13:37,042
Do I smell curry?
200
00:13:37,241 --> 00:13:39,542
There's an Indian restaurant downstairs.
201
00:13:40,824 --> 00:13:42,734
Delia, I ask you...
202
00:13:43,033 --> 00:13:46,927
how can this apartment be $2,800 a month?
203
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,488
I pay $750 for something
that's twice the size.
204
00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:52,724
- It don't smell like takeout.
- You have a rent-controlled apartment.
205
00:13:52,792 --> 00:13:54,483
I suggest you stay there.
206
00:13:55,287 --> 00:13:58,069
Unfortunately, that's really not an option.
207
00:13:59,383 --> 00:14:01,936
What other shit holes
are you showing me today?
208
00:14:02,135 --> 00:14:05,583
I have to be honest.
With your attitude and price limitations...
209
00:14:05,655 --> 00:14:08,654
I think you should consider Weehawken.
210
00:14:10,262 --> 00:14:12,335
Get back to me when the numbers are in.
211
00:14:14,070 --> 00:14:17,615
Look at you, all dressed up.
Applying for a job here?
212
00:14:17,686 --> 00:14:20,141
So this is where you work.
213
00:14:20,405 --> 00:14:23,754
It's cute. It's smaller than I expected.
214
00:14:24,213 --> 00:14:28,337
I always imagined rows and rows
of blondes in tight sweaters, typing.
215
00:14:28,437 --> 00:14:29,997
They're at lunch.
216
00:14:30,804 --> 00:14:33,554
I am here in an official capacity.
217
00:14:34,516 --> 00:14:37,865
- Aren't you going to ask me to sit down?
- By all means. Pick a chair.
218
00:14:38,772 --> 00:14:40,877
Faced with the prospect of Weehawken...
219
00:14:40,947 --> 00:14:43,849
I decided it was time to call in the big guns.
220
00:14:43,924 --> 00:14:47,272
Now, what can I do for you?
221
00:14:48,243 --> 00:14:51,658
I once read that you took something like
$3 million and leveraged it...
222
00:14:51,731 --> 00:14:55,079
to build a $100 million building.
How did you do that?
223
00:14:55,954 --> 00:14:58,768
- What's going on?
- I want to buy my apartment...
224
00:14:58,930 --> 00:15:00,654
but I have no money.
225
00:15:03,922 --> 00:15:05,580
I'm worth nothing.
226
00:15:07,217 --> 00:15:09,606
You're worth a million bucks, Bradshaw.
227
00:15:09,842 --> 00:15:11,946
Maybe you should go work at a bank.
228
00:15:15,056 --> 00:15:16,812
Aidan and I broke up.
229
00:15:19,472 --> 00:15:21,806
So it's not just money troubles.
230
00:15:23,888 --> 00:15:27,019
- Why didn't you call me?
- I got enough troubles.
231
00:15:29,103 --> 00:15:30,532
What happened?
232
00:15:31,247 --> 00:15:33,800
Apparently, you were right,
I am not the marrying kind.
233
00:15:33,999 --> 00:15:36,071
Or the timing wasn't right.
234
00:15:37,230 --> 00:15:39,205
You're going to be okay, kid.
235
00:15:40,495 --> 00:15:44,139
So I need money. You know money.
236
00:15:44,526 --> 00:15:47,341
I need to know what you know about money.
237
00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:48,967
Simple.
238
00:15:50,766 --> 00:15:52,653
I'll tell you how to get the money.
239
00:15:52,845 --> 00:15:55,627
Big offered me the money
for my down payment.
240
00:15:55,693 --> 00:15:57,351
But I could never take it.
241
00:16:00,845 --> 00:16:02,732
- Could I?
- You couldn't.
242
00:16:02,796 --> 00:16:05,185
He just gave you $30,000?
243
00:16:05,261 --> 00:16:07,202
As a loan. I would pay him back.
244
00:16:07,276 --> 00:16:08,487
Take the money.
245
00:16:08,556 --> 00:16:10,944
When a man gives you money,
you give him control.
246
00:16:11,020 --> 00:16:14,565
It's just money. Man, woman, who cares?
It's fluid.
247
00:16:14,635 --> 00:16:17,570
Someone needs it, you give it.
You need it, you take it.
248
00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:20,960
I'm uncomfortable with this.
We shouldn't be talking about money.
249
00:16:21,034 --> 00:16:22,693
Why? We talk about everything else.
250
00:16:22,763 --> 00:16:24,585
People are funny about money.
251
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:27,684
Like Richard,
he's happy to buy me gifts, but...
252
00:16:27,754 --> 00:16:28,834
Still no "love"?
253
00:16:28,907 --> 00:16:32,518
No, but he continues to send his best.
254
00:16:33,290 --> 00:16:36,039
Don't cash Big's check.
I'll loan you the money.
255
00:16:36,362 --> 00:16:38,816
You're about to have a baby.
I can't take your money.
256
00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:42,659
- And furthermore, do you have that much?
- I have about half that.
257
00:16:43,369 --> 00:16:46,717
- What? Does no one else shoe shop?
- I could loan you the rest.
258
00:16:47,593 --> 00:16:48,541
Look...
259
00:16:49,065 --> 00:16:51,912
that is really...
260
00:16:51,976 --> 00:16:53,831
sweet of you two to offer.
261
00:16:57,159 --> 00:16:59,014
It's really sweet.
262
00:16:59,495 --> 00:17:01,284
But I'm gonna do this on my own.
263
00:17:05,703 --> 00:17:08,605
So I can't tape it back.
264
00:17:09,126 --> 00:17:10,653
I have news.
265
00:17:11,270 --> 00:17:15,198
Looks like I have gotten a job as a docent
at the Museum of Modern Art.
266
00:17:15,846 --> 00:17:17,634
What does that pay? I can docent.
267
00:17:17,702 --> 00:17:21,531
It's a volunteer job,
but they're very coveted positions.
268
00:17:22,918 --> 00:17:24,543
You come back.
269
00:17:31,909 --> 00:17:33,403
I have no fortune.
270
00:17:33,573 --> 00:17:35,842
I didn't need a cookie to tell me that.
271
00:17:37,636 --> 00:17:39,905
These fans only cost $1.
272
00:17:39,972 --> 00:17:43,168
I'm going to save a lot of money
on air conditioning.
273
00:17:46,404 --> 00:17:47,516
You okay?
274
00:17:49,571 --> 00:17:51,327
No apartment and no Aidan.
275
00:17:55,331 --> 00:17:57,153
It's been a rough two weeks.
276
00:18:01,730 --> 00:18:04,217
Just give me a block. I'm going to be fine.
277
00:18:13,025 --> 00:18:17,400
As I thought about leaving the apartment
that I had lived in for the past decade...
278
00:18:17,473 --> 00:18:19,513
I realized how much I would miss it.
279
00:18:19,585 --> 00:18:21,973
Through everything,
it had always been there for me.
280
00:18:22,048 --> 00:18:25,081
And suddenly, I was irrationally angry...
281
00:18:25,888 --> 00:18:29,848
and I knew just where and who
to take it irrationally out on.
282
00:18:30,208 --> 00:18:33,077
Hi. What are you doing here?
283
00:18:33,151 --> 00:18:35,060
I was just in the neighborhood.
284
00:18:36,031 --> 00:18:37,372
Come on in.
285
00:18:37,823 --> 00:18:39,928
You want some iced tea or something?
286
00:18:40,447 --> 00:18:42,486
Why didn't you offer me the money?
287
00:18:43,358 --> 00:18:45,846
- I knew you were going to say that.
- I wouldn't take it.
288
00:18:45,919 --> 00:18:49,267
- Then what does it matter if I offer it or not?
- Because...
289
00:18:49,470 --> 00:18:51,542
I would have offered it to you.
290
00:18:51,741 --> 00:18:55,090
- You're my friend.
- Money and friendship don't mix.
291
00:18:55,422 --> 00:18:58,040
My father and his friend Paul
were never the same...
292
00:18:58,109 --> 00:19:02,069
We're not talking about your father
and his friend Paul.
293
00:19:02,525 --> 00:19:05,972
We're talking about you and your friend, me.
294
00:19:06,044 --> 00:19:08,597
And for the record, I am aware...
295
00:19:08,668 --> 00:19:12,945
that I have some financial messiness
that I have to clean up, and to that end...
296
00:19:13,180 --> 00:19:15,514
I am looking into
some freelance magazine work.
297
00:19:15,580 --> 00:19:18,482
I have been offered $4 a word at Vogue.
That is a lot.
298
00:19:18,843 --> 00:19:20,370
Most people get $2.
299
00:19:20,955 --> 00:19:24,402
So, yes, I have made some mistakes,
and, Charlotte...
300
00:19:24,891 --> 00:19:28,981
you have made some mistakes.
When you were making those mistakes...
301
00:19:29,051 --> 00:19:31,920
I was sitting across from you
at the coffee shop...
302
00:19:31,995 --> 00:19:34,994
nodding and listening and supporting you.
303
00:19:35,066 --> 00:19:38,262
I was not sitting at a Chinese restaurant...
304
00:19:38,329 --> 00:19:41,941
turning away when you should have been
looking at me.
305
00:19:42,169 --> 00:19:45,518
And what kills me is,
you don't even have to work.
306
00:19:45,593 --> 00:19:47,283
You're volunteering.
307
00:19:52,057 --> 00:19:53,333
I love you.
308
00:19:53,912 --> 00:19:57,742
But it's not my job to fix your finances.
309
00:19:58,712 --> 00:20:01,200
You're a 35-year-old woman.
310
00:20:01,271 --> 00:20:04,021
You need to learn to stand on your own.
311
00:20:06,839 --> 00:20:08,911
What is that on your finger?
312
00:20:10,198 --> 00:20:13,493
I just wear it when I'm alone in my house.
313
00:20:13,623 --> 00:20:15,761
And you're telling me
to be more independent?
314
00:20:15,830 --> 00:20:18,481
It's my ring. I can wear it if I want to.
315
00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:20,819
And so what if it makes me feel better?
316
00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:25,741
And for the record, the only reason
I'm volunteering is, no one will hire me.
317
00:20:26,069 --> 00:20:27,891
I've called seven galleries.
318
00:20:27,957 --> 00:20:31,372
Apparently, I have too much experience.
319
00:20:34,100 --> 00:20:38,922
You're right. It's your ring, your business.
I got all worked up on the walk over here.
320
00:20:38,996 --> 00:20:43,251
- You walked?
- No, I took a $5 cab ride, seven blocks.
321
00:20:43,764 --> 00:20:46,666
These shoes pinch my feet, but I love them.
322
00:20:48,243 --> 00:20:50,382
I am in a financial cul-de-sac.
323
00:20:51,412 --> 00:20:53,299
But I'm going to take the bus.
324
00:20:54,291 --> 00:20:56,178
I just hope I'm not on it.
325
00:21:00,147 --> 00:21:02,154
Meanwhile, in the lap of luxury...
326
00:21:05,074 --> 00:21:08,008
It's okay.
I'm Richard's assistant, and I'm gay.
327
00:21:08,082 --> 00:21:10,503
Okay. Turn around and give a girl a moment.
328
00:21:10,866 --> 00:21:13,735
I'm Roger, and you
weren't supposed to be here.
329
00:21:13,809 --> 00:21:16,743
Richard left, and I decided
to take a nice relaxing bath...
330
00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:18,573
but now that's shot to shit.
331
00:21:19,793 --> 00:21:21,418
Okay. Decent.
332
00:21:21,937 --> 00:21:25,766
I am so sorry, but if it's any consolation...
333
00:21:26,096 --> 00:21:27,884
- wow!
- Pilates.
334
00:21:28,208 --> 00:21:32,168
So, why haven't I seen you
around the office?
335
00:21:33,167 --> 00:21:36,811
He has three assistants. I run his errands.
336
00:21:37,167 --> 00:21:38,596
His errands!
337
00:21:39,919 --> 00:21:42,308
Is that an errand gift-wrapped on the bed?
338
00:21:46,735 --> 00:21:49,451
All right. I'm his personal shopper.
339
00:21:50,030 --> 00:21:52,485
- He's a very busy man.
- I'll bet.
340
00:21:53,550 --> 00:21:56,899
Exactly how many women
are you buying gifts for?
341
00:21:57,101 --> 00:21:59,305
- What do you mean?
- You've seen my bush.
342
00:21:59,374 --> 00:22:01,283
We're a little past acting coy.
343
00:22:01,709 --> 00:22:04,392
Since you came into the picture, a lot less.
344
00:22:04,493 --> 00:22:06,664
And he's never sent me to Chanel before.
345
00:22:06,733 --> 00:22:09,122
That was fun. Great wallet.
346
00:22:09,292 --> 00:22:13,448
- It also came in red, but I couldn't decide...
- Richard didn't pick out any gifts?
347
00:22:13,516 --> 00:22:14,978
Technically, no.
348
00:22:15,116 --> 00:22:19,523
- But he really likes you. I can tell.
- Yeah, he thinks I'm the best.
349
00:22:20,332 --> 00:22:22,601
Wait, the cards.
350
00:22:22,731 --> 00:22:25,251
"Style for style"? "Sexy for sexy"?
351
00:22:27,051 --> 00:22:28,709
"Me for you."
352
00:22:29,611 --> 00:22:31,105
Please, don't have me fired.
353
00:22:31,179 --> 00:22:34,178
I'll tell you what. I'll pretend you don't exist.
354
00:22:34,250 --> 00:22:36,901
- Thank you.
- If you do one thing for me.
355
00:22:44,521 --> 00:22:45,928
I thought you'd like it.
356
00:22:46,249 --> 00:22:47,591
You did?
357
00:22:49,961 --> 00:22:51,717
I forgot the card.
358
00:22:54,793 --> 00:22:56,767
"Gorgeous for gorgeous.
359
00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:58,727
"Love, Richard."
360
00:23:09,415 --> 00:23:11,073
I love you, Samantha.
361
00:23:12,167 --> 00:23:14,077
- I do.
- You do?
362
00:23:17,862 --> 00:23:19,618
And I love...
363
00:23:21,158 --> 00:23:22,238
this.
364
00:23:23,366 --> 00:23:25,537
Samantha could have said, "I love you."
365
00:23:25,606 --> 00:23:28,159
But she was afraid
it would cost her too much.
366
00:23:28,230 --> 00:23:30,172
So she did what she did best.
367
00:23:33,029 --> 00:23:35,582
So every other Saturday...
368
00:23:35,653 --> 00:23:37,792
and Wednesday at 5:00 p.m., you take him.
369
00:23:37,861 --> 00:23:41,602
- I was thinking 4:57 p.m. Would be better.
- You think this is stupid.
370
00:23:41,829 --> 00:23:46,335
No, I just was thinking
that things are going to get off-schedule.
371
00:23:47,172 --> 00:23:49,408
We're talking about a kid, not a train.
372
00:23:49,732 --> 00:23:53,725
I'd offer to do that for you,
but I don't think it's in the contract.
373
00:23:54,019 --> 00:23:58,241
Don't give me a hard time.
I could fart you into oblivion right now.
374
00:24:04,194 --> 00:24:05,853
That feels so great.
375
00:24:06,562 --> 00:24:07,839
Thanks.
376
00:24:10,626 --> 00:24:13,277
- Steve, am I ugly?
- What?
377
00:24:14,785 --> 00:24:17,403
No. You got that glow.
378
00:24:17,793 --> 00:24:21,721
- But would you want to have sex with me?
- What are you talking about?
379
00:24:22,337 --> 00:24:23,646
You're pregnant.
380
00:24:25,025 --> 00:24:28,669
And another charming side effect,
aside from flatulence and bloating...
381
00:24:28,736 --> 00:24:30,841
is all I can think about is sex.
382
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:33,789
And who would want to have sex with me?
383
00:24:35,776 --> 00:24:40,151
I'd like to have sex with you,
but I'm pretty sure it's not allowed.
384
00:24:41,023 --> 00:24:43,990
I've read section B-14 in the contract...
385
00:24:45,631 --> 00:24:47,354
and it said nothing about sex.
386
00:24:47,839 --> 00:24:49,333
Fuck the contract...
387
00:24:51,358 --> 00:24:53,049
and please fuck me.
388
00:25:00,542 --> 00:25:02,200
- What?
- You're squishing me...
389
00:25:02,269 --> 00:25:03,763
- I'm sorry.
- No.
390
00:25:03,869 --> 00:25:08,376
That night, Steve gave Miranda
multiple orgasms...
391
00:25:08,445 --> 00:25:09,590
for what it's worth.
392
00:25:09,661 --> 00:25:13,043
Just to be clear,
this doesn't mean we're a couple.
393
00:25:13,532 --> 00:25:15,441
This is a mercy fuck.
394
00:25:23,899 --> 00:25:27,827
I'm sorry about the other day.
I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings.
395
00:25:27,899 --> 00:25:31,314
You were right. I didn't want to let go
of being Mrs. Trey MacDougal.
396
00:25:31,387 --> 00:25:34,256
I think you are coping amazingly well.
397
00:25:35,258 --> 00:25:36,785
I'm just scared.
398
00:25:37,562 --> 00:25:39,123
I know.
399
00:25:39,642 --> 00:25:42,009
- Me, too.
- Wow!
400
00:25:43,066 --> 00:25:45,619
- We're alone again.
- Yeah.
401
00:25:57,592 --> 00:25:59,959
I want you to take the ring
for your down payment.
402
00:26:00,088 --> 00:26:03,154
I can't. You love this ring.
403
00:26:03,224 --> 00:26:06,257
No, I love what the ring represented.
404
00:26:06,456 --> 00:26:09,270
No, you're right.
It would make things too complicated.
405
00:26:09,336 --> 00:26:12,848
This is a straightforward business proposal.
Clean and simple.
406
00:26:13,271 --> 00:26:16,205
Why do I have all this money
if I can't help out a friend?
407
00:26:16,278 --> 00:26:18,515
But it would be a loan. I'll pay you back.
408
00:26:18,583 --> 00:26:19,531
I know.
409
00:26:20,278 --> 00:26:23,693
I want you to think
really carefully about this.
410
00:26:23,990 --> 00:26:25,135
I have.
411
00:26:25,302 --> 00:26:28,750
Will you be comfortable knowing
it will take me time to pay you back?
412
00:26:28,982 --> 00:26:30,672
I will.
413
00:26:38,581 --> 00:26:40,653
I really appreciate this.
414
00:26:40,884 --> 00:26:44,299
- I'll pay you back. You know that, right?
- I do.
415
00:26:45,013 --> 00:26:47,565
It's okay. I trust you.
416
00:26:48,244 --> 00:26:50,033
Will you take the ring?
417
00:26:51,924 --> 00:26:54,477
I will. Thank you.
418
00:26:55,603 --> 00:27:00,305
Charlotte had taken her painful past
and turned it into my hopeful future...
419
00:27:00,531 --> 00:27:03,084
and that made the ring priceless.
420
00:27:04,082 --> 00:27:06,221
I start work at the museum next week.
421
00:27:07,314 --> 00:27:09,223
That's great. Guess what.
422
00:27:09,362 --> 00:27:13,072
I got Vogue up to $4.50 a word.
423
00:27:16,530 --> 00:27:20,108
I fixed the toilet, and should be done
with this by the end of the afternoon.
424
00:27:20,178 --> 00:27:22,282
Okay, great. Thank you.
425
00:27:25,392 --> 00:27:28,741
It wasn't quite as easy as clicking
my Manolo Blahniks three times...
426
00:27:29,232 --> 00:27:32,363
but it was worth it. I was home.
33574
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