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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:01,005 --> 00:01:03,874 New York City can be a terrifying place. 2 00:01:04,205 --> 00:01:05,187 Hi. 3 00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:08,551 - Just coffee and a muffin, please. - That'll be $7.50. 4 00:01:09,132 --> 00:01:12,067 Nothing's more frightening than the prospect of seeing an ex... 5 00:01:12,140 --> 00:01:13,798 before you've had your morning coffee. 6 00:01:13,867 --> 00:01:15,045 Miranda? 7 00:01:15,691 --> 00:01:18,888 - You made me burn my tongue. - I got to work on that, sorry. 8 00:01:18,956 --> 00:01:21,476 You look great. How you doing? 9 00:01:21,547 --> 00:01:24,361 Good, you know, boring. What's new with you? 10 00:01:25,226 --> 00:01:27,844 I guess that means you didn't get the invitation yet. 11 00:01:28,714 --> 00:01:31,267 No, invitation to what? 12 00:01:31,786 --> 00:01:33,510 I'm finally doing it. 13 00:01:33,898 --> 00:01:35,840 I'm opening up my own bar. 14 00:01:37,642 --> 00:01:40,489 - Steve, you're kidding! That's... - That's scary, right? 15 00:01:40,553 --> 00:01:42,724 And it's happening soon. It's next Saturday. 16 00:01:42,793 --> 00:01:44,703 I'd really love it if you'd come. 17 00:01:45,129 --> 00:01:46,656 Miranda, you remember Jessica? 18 00:01:46,729 --> 00:01:49,063 Sure. Of course. 19 00:01:49,128 --> 00:01:51,168 You'll come, right, next Saturday? 20 00:01:51,241 --> 00:01:52,670 We'd love to see you there. 21 00:01:54,952 --> 00:01:58,018 She "we'd" him, Carrie, right in front of me. 22 00:01:58,088 --> 00:02:00,062 Miranda, I'm still asleep. 23 00:02:00,136 --> 00:02:03,103 How can you have had an emotional mini-drama already? 24 00:02:03,175 --> 00:02:05,760 No way I'm going to his opening. Do you think I should go? 25 00:02:07,527 --> 00:02:10,374 - Let me think for a second. - What really pisses me off... 26 00:02:10,439 --> 00:02:13,788 is it was my idea. I'm the one who told him to open his own bar. 27 00:02:13,862 --> 00:02:16,001 - But do I get any credit? - I'm guessing not. 28 00:02:16,070 --> 00:02:17,957 Of course not, it's infuriating! 29 00:02:18,310 --> 00:02:20,382 Why wasn't he this ambitious while with me? 30 00:02:20,453 --> 00:02:24,676 Maybe you inspired him. Maybe he named the bar "Miranda's"... 31 00:02:25,509 --> 00:02:26,938 or "Hobbes' Nob." 32 00:02:27,077 --> 00:02:30,372 He named the bar "Scout." After his dog. 33 00:02:31,012 --> 00:02:32,059 I'm not going to that. 34 00:02:32,132 --> 00:02:34,718 You have to go. You guys are friends now, right? 35 00:02:34,789 --> 00:02:36,065 That's what friends do. 36 00:02:36,164 --> 00:02:37,112 Really? 37 00:02:37,252 --> 00:02:39,324 You're my friend, does that mean you have to go? 38 00:02:39,651 --> 00:02:42,750 Of course. Absolutely. 39 00:02:42,820 --> 00:02:44,281 That's what friends are for. 40 00:02:44,355 --> 00:02:46,395 Forget it, not going. 41 00:02:46,467 --> 00:02:48,190 - To what? - What is it? 42 00:02:48,547 --> 00:02:51,895 "Steve Brady and Aidan Shaw"? 43 00:02:51,971 --> 00:02:53,662 How did this happen? 44 00:02:54,018 --> 00:02:56,190 Why are they even friends? 45 00:02:56,290 --> 00:02:59,552 According to Steve's girlfriend, Jessica... 46 00:02:59,618 --> 00:03:02,138 who answered his phone while he was in the shower today... 47 00:03:02,210 --> 00:03:05,505 I love how you say "Jessica," like allegedly that's her name. 48 00:03:05,569 --> 00:03:09,180 - Aidan is Steve's silent partner. - I wonder why I didn't get an invitation. 49 00:03:09,250 --> 00:03:11,354 You can have mine, sister, 'cause I'm not going. 50 00:03:11,424 --> 00:03:13,846 Come on, it's a big party, you may not even see him. 51 00:03:13,921 --> 00:03:17,815 It's not a party. It's a parade of our failed relationships. 52 00:03:17,889 --> 00:03:21,980 Next, you're gonna tell me that my junior prom date's the barback. 53 00:03:22,432 --> 00:03:25,498 It's good Aidan invited you. It means he's ready to be friends. 54 00:03:25,568 --> 00:03:27,870 I don't know what it means, don't want to find out. 55 00:03:27,936 --> 00:03:30,302 It means, "I forgive you, please come." 56 00:03:30,368 --> 00:03:31,993 Nice try, I'm not going. 57 00:03:32,063 --> 00:03:33,972 - I'll go. - Thank you. 58 00:03:34,110 --> 00:03:36,565 You see? Samantha's my friend. 59 00:03:36,638 --> 00:03:40,183 I'm going out with Samantha and her lesbian lover, and I am proud. 60 00:03:40,254 --> 00:03:41,912 Let's not invite Maria. 61 00:03:41,982 --> 00:03:44,568 I could use a night away from the old ball and chain. 62 00:03:44,638 --> 00:03:46,809 Don't tell me you're in a sapphic slump. 63 00:03:46,878 --> 00:03:50,772 All we ever do is lie around, take baths together and talk about feelings. 64 00:03:50,845 --> 00:03:52,820 I think they call that a relationship. 65 00:03:52,893 --> 00:03:54,355 I don't know how you do it. 66 00:03:54,429 --> 00:03:56,817 All that emotional chow-chow, it's exhausting. 67 00:03:56,892 --> 00:03:58,779 I know, don't you just hate that? 68 00:03:58,845 --> 00:03:59,957 Women. 69 00:04:00,444 --> 00:04:02,419 That night, Samantha was determined... 70 00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:05,427 to get Maria out of the tub and out on the town. 71 00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:08,434 I do not see why we're out in this crowd... 72 00:04:08,508 --> 00:04:13,079 with all this smoke, when we could be home, relaxing together. 73 00:04:13,147 --> 00:04:15,252 I thought it'd be fun to take our relationship... 74 00:04:15,323 --> 00:04:17,396 out on dry land for a change, that's all. 75 00:04:17,467 --> 00:04:21,263 Besides, what's the fun of getting clean if you can't get a little dirty first? 76 00:04:21,339 --> 00:04:22,899 Samantha Jones... 77 00:04:22,970 --> 00:04:25,206 what's it gonna be tonight, darling, the usual? 78 00:04:25,338 --> 00:04:29,232 Brian here happens to make the most dangerous mojitos in the city. 79 00:04:29,306 --> 00:04:31,891 Two mojitos coming up, on the house. 80 00:04:32,729 --> 00:04:34,038 Fun place. 81 00:04:34,713 --> 00:04:35,662 Hey, gorgeous. 82 00:04:35,737 --> 00:04:38,999 Sean Sullivan, what are you doing in town? 83 00:04:39,065 --> 00:04:42,163 Back on business for a few weeks. What are you doing next Saturday? 84 00:04:42,232 --> 00:04:45,014 - Saturday? - We have plans for Saturday. 85 00:04:45,689 --> 00:04:46,736 Okay. 86 00:04:46,872 --> 00:04:48,879 How about a late run, then? 87 00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:50,989 I'll call you. 88 00:04:51,832 --> 00:04:53,806 What is this "late run"? 89 00:04:54,519 --> 00:04:57,814 Doesn't translate. I didn't know that we had plans on Saturday. 90 00:04:57,879 --> 00:04:59,766 I promised the girls I'd go out with them. 91 00:04:59,831 --> 00:05:01,838 Should I come? I'm a girl. 92 00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:03,923 No, sweetie, I know. 93 00:05:03,990 --> 00:05:06,707 But since you don't really like to go out, I thought... 94 00:05:06,774 --> 00:05:08,781 Here you go, ladies. Enjoy. 95 00:05:10,294 --> 00:05:11,887 I get off at 4:00. 96 00:05:17,333 --> 00:05:21,391 Samantha had to face her past, and Charlotte was facing her future. 97 00:05:21,685 --> 00:05:24,434 Now that Trey had no problem getting hard in the bedroom... 98 00:05:24,500 --> 00:05:27,217 she saw no reason why their bed should be. 99 00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:36,147 Bunny. Hi. 100 00:05:36,723 --> 00:05:37,835 What are you doing here? 101 00:05:37,907 --> 00:05:40,525 When Trey told me you two were buying a new bed... 102 00:05:40,595 --> 00:05:42,570 I insisted he let me help. 103 00:05:42,739 --> 00:05:45,422 I picked out the one he has now, did you know that? 104 00:05:45,491 --> 00:05:47,279 - It's Chippendale. - No. 105 00:05:49,074 --> 00:05:52,107 - Where is Trey? - Still at the hospital, I expect. 106 00:05:52,626 --> 00:05:55,757 Don't fret, we'll find a mattress to fit the frame. 107 00:05:56,433 --> 00:05:59,051 You know, we were hoping to find a bed... 108 00:05:59,121 --> 00:06:01,990 that was a little bigger and less hard. 109 00:06:02,225 --> 00:06:06,415 My dear, I'm a firm believer in firm mattresses. 110 00:06:06,705 --> 00:06:09,672 Look, the perfect dust ruffle. 111 00:06:10,065 --> 00:06:13,032 Five-pleat gusseted duster with a foot drop. 112 00:06:13,104 --> 00:06:14,991 I have one just like it. 113 00:06:15,184 --> 00:06:16,777 Actually, Bunny... 114 00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:20,269 most of the newer beds don't even need dust ruffles. 115 00:06:20,335 --> 00:06:24,132 My dear child, you cannot not have a dust ruffle. 116 00:06:24,303 --> 00:06:25,765 It's unsightly. 117 00:06:28,943 --> 00:06:32,172 This is divine. Nice and firm. 118 00:06:33,486 --> 00:06:36,650 Hello, my darling girls. Sorry I'm late. 119 00:06:37,166 --> 00:06:38,856 I see you've started without me, Mother. 120 00:06:38,925 --> 00:06:42,569 Trey, you simply must get in and feel this, it's sublime. 121 00:06:44,014 --> 00:06:45,420 Hello. 122 00:06:47,661 --> 00:06:51,490 This is comfy, isn't it? Charlotte, you really must try this. 123 00:06:51,564 --> 00:06:55,306 - I was thinking more along the line... - Charlotte, for heaven's sake, get in. 124 00:07:00,940 --> 00:07:03,045 This is heaven. 125 00:07:08,171 --> 00:07:11,651 - I'm sorry, this is just way too... - Firm? 126 00:07:11,723 --> 00:07:15,018 - All right then, something softer. - Something with a dust ruffle. 127 00:07:15,083 --> 00:07:17,701 Whatever you say, Mother. You know best. 128 00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:38,342 You hear it too, Fatty? 129 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:43,676 - I think I might have a ghost. - I think I might have to hear that again. 130 00:07:43,752 --> 00:07:46,883 There were weird noises last night, right above me. 131 00:07:46,952 --> 00:07:48,675 The cat heard it, too. 132 00:07:48,903 --> 00:07:51,270 If the cat heard it... That's not a ghost. 133 00:07:51,335 --> 00:07:55,012 That's some weird upstairs neighbor's nocturnal... 134 00:07:55,527 --> 00:07:58,276 - what have you. - That's what I thought, too, at first. 135 00:07:58,342 --> 00:08:01,440 But this morning the super let me in upstairs... 136 00:08:02,758 --> 00:08:04,994 and there's no one living there. 137 00:08:05,126 --> 00:08:06,784 The place is completely empty. 138 00:08:06,854 --> 00:08:09,919 And I know it sounds crazy, but last night I could feel it. 139 00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:11,364 Did the cat feel it, too? 140 00:08:11,429 --> 00:08:13,730 The hairs on the back of my neck all stood up. 141 00:08:13,989 --> 00:08:17,884 My grandmother had a ghost. And finally she had to tell it to leave. 142 00:08:17,988 --> 00:08:19,897 That's exactly what you're supposed to do. 143 00:08:19,972 --> 00:08:23,550 Confront the ghost, acknowledge its presence, then release it. 144 00:08:23,620 --> 00:08:26,205 - How do you happen to know that? - Everybody knows that. 145 00:08:26,275 --> 00:08:28,577 The thing that I don't understand is, why now? 146 00:08:28,644 --> 00:08:30,586 I've been living there for two years. 147 00:08:30,660 --> 00:08:33,921 When I was living alone, I used to feel scared like that all the time. 148 00:08:33,987 --> 00:08:36,354 But now that I'm back with Trey, I feel so safe. 149 00:08:36,419 --> 00:08:39,201 What are you saying? I have a ghost because I'm single? 150 00:08:39,266 --> 00:08:41,055 That's discrimination. 151 00:08:42,946 --> 00:08:46,742 New York is definitely haunted. Old lovers, ex-boyfriends. 152 00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:50,844 Anyone you have unresolved issues with, you are bound to run into again and again... 153 00:08:50,914 --> 00:08:52,507 until you resolve them. 154 00:08:52,578 --> 00:08:56,123 My relationship with Aidan was long dead, but with one invitation... 155 00:08:56,193 --> 00:08:58,745 he was suddenly a presence in my life again. 156 00:08:58,816 --> 00:09:00,507 Or had he been there all along? 157 00:09:00,577 --> 00:09:03,926 Like the chair he made that I could never bring myself to sell. 158 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:10,044 When a relationship dies, do we ever really give up the ghost? 159 00:09:10,239 --> 00:09:14,265 Or are we forever haunted by the spirits of relationships past? 160 00:09:20,159 --> 00:09:23,028 Why did you not introduce me to that Sean? 161 00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:28,057 He's nobody, just... 162 00:09:28,415 --> 00:09:30,138 a guy I used to fuck. 163 00:09:31,294 --> 00:09:33,083 And the bartender man? 164 00:09:33,725 --> 00:09:36,507 He's nobody, just a guy I used to fuck. 165 00:09:38,557 --> 00:09:39,670 And... 166 00:09:40,029 --> 00:09:43,345 why have you not told this nobody... 167 00:09:43,836 --> 00:09:47,033 that you are with a somebody now? 168 00:09:47,965 --> 00:09:49,819 What am I supposed to say? 169 00:09:49,885 --> 00:09:53,878 "Hi, this is my lesbian lover, and P.S., I'm done with dick"? 170 00:09:54,587 --> 00:09:56,692 Who said anything about dick? 171 00:09:57,052 --> 00:09:59,670 I was talking about our relationship. 172 00:09:59,739 --> 00:10:01,168 Of course you were. 173 00:10:04,954 --> 00:10:06,612 Do you miss a dick? 174 00:10:06,811 --> 00:10:09,112 Is that what this is all about? 175 00:10:10,842 --> 00:10:12,566 It's okay to tell me. 176 00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:15,088 We should talk about this. 177 00:10:16,026 --> 00:10:17,651 We're talking. 178 00:10:19,673 --> 00:10:21,648 Okay. I'll talk. 179 00:10:24,121 --> 00:10:25,844 How many men have you been with? 180 00:10:26,649 --> 00:10:28,656 How many women have you been with? 181 00:10:28,729 --> 00:10:29,874 Twelve. 182 00:10:32,888 --> 00:10:35,309 Have you been with more than 12 men? 183 00:10:38,903 --> 00:10:41,292 Why are we even talking about this? 184 00:10:41,399 --> 00:10:43,668 Why are you so afraid to talk? 185 00:10:44,535 --> 00:10:48,310 - Always pulling away. - I'm not pulling away. 186 00:10:49,718 --> 00:10:51,823 I'm trying to get closer. 187 00:10:53,462 --> 00:10:56,309 Not like that. 188 00:10:56,822 --> 00:10:58,797 Not with sex. 189 00:10:59,509 --> 00:11:01,876 I cannot just turn it on and off. 190 00:11:02,293 --> 00:11:04,398 After all, I'm not a man. 191 00:11:05,877 --> 00:11:07,306 You know what? 192 00:11:08,148 --> 00:11:10,003 I think I'm clean now. 193 00:11:12,533 --> 00:11:14,954 That night, Charlotte found herself haunted... 194 00:11:15,028 --> 00:11:17,581 by dust ruffles, ducks and Bunny. 195 00:11:17,876 --> 00:11:20,658 Your mother decorated this entire apartment, didn't she? 196 00:11:20,724 --> 00:11:22,731 Of course. Mother does all our houses. 197 00:11:22,803 --> 00:11:24,494 I should have known. 198 00:11:25,299 --> 00:11:27,982 Plaid and the mallards. 199 00:11:28,339 --> 00:11:29,354 You don't like them? 200 00:11:29,427 --> 00:11:32,809 No, it's like we live in the Museum of Natural Ugliness! 201 00:11:33,618 --> 00:11:36,651 If we're really serious... 202 00:11:36,818 --> 00:11:41,041 about making a fresh start with our marriage and making this our home... 203 00:11:41,426 --> 00:11:44,143 it should reflect our taste, shouldn't it? 204 00:11:45,457 --> 00:11:47,345 I have no taste, clearly. 205 00:11:47,761 --> 00:11:49,801 Then my taste, for us. 206 00:11:50,065 --> 00:11:53,381 Darling, Mother spent an awful lot of time and money on this place. 207 00:11:53,585 --> 00:11:54,991 I understand. 208 00:11:55,760 --> 00:11:57,418 But I am your wife. 209 00:11:57,680 --> 00:11:59,785 So, maybe I should just have a chat with her. 210 00:11:59,856 --> 00:12:02,638 Let me talk to her, it might go easier. 211 00:12:03,088 --> 00:12:05,226 Tomorrow, when she comes over for brunch... 212 00:12:05,295 --> 00:12:06,822 I will sit her down and say... 213 00:12:06,896 --> 00:12:09,830 that this is simply not our, slash, your taste. 214 00:12:11,375 --> 00:12:13,382 The animals have got to go. 215 00:12:15,823 --> 00:12:17,033 But the next morning... 216 00:12:17,103 --> 00:12:19,688 Up and at 'em, George McFaddam. 217 00:12:19,758 --> 00:12:21,481 It's daylight in the swamp. 218 00:12:21,551 --> 00:12:23,885 Trey was in no condition to talk to anyone. 219 00:12:23,950 --> 00:12:25,095 Hello, Mother. 220 00:12:25,166 --> 00:12:28,810 Darling, what's the matter? Are you ill? Here, let Mother... 221 00:12:28,878 --> 00:12:30,219 Sore throat. 222 00:12:30,605 --> 00:12:33,223 Charlotte, telephone my house... 223 00:12:33,293 --> 00:12:37,515 and tell Geneva to bring over some broth and my overnight case. 224 00:12:38,124 --> 00:12:41,768 You have a busy week at the gallery. I might as well stay in the guest room... 225 00:12:41,836 --> 00:12:43,658 until Trey's recovered. 226 00:12:43,756 --> 00:12:46,690 Charlotte, what's this mallard doing here? 227 00:12:46,828 --> 00:12:48,616 He lives in the study. 228 00:12:51,019 --> 00:12:52,328 Yes, Bunny. 229 00:12:53,035 --> 00:12:56,034 Since I wasn't going to risk an awkward public confrontation... 230 00:12:56,107 --> 00:12:59,555 at Aidan's opening, I wanted to at least make a gesture. 231 00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:03,013 Some small way of saying, "Thank you for inviting me. 232 00:13:03,082 --> 00:13:05,154 "For being braver than I could have been. 233 00:13:05,226 --> 00:13:08,455 "And for at least suggesting that we can be friends." 234 00:13:16,457 --> 00:13:17,570 Hello? 235 00:13:18,633 --> 00:13:21,949 There was no sign of him. But he was everywhere. 236 00:13:22,408 --> 00:13:25,223 In the mahogany bar, the wood floors... 237 00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:26,814 the carved ceiling. 238 00:13:26,888 --> 00:13:29,440 The whole place looked and felt... 239 00:13:29,928 --> 00:13:31,454 just like Aidan. 240 00:13:33,032 --> 00:13:34,177 What are you doing here? 241 00:13:34,248 --> 00:13:36,669 I was just in the neighborhood. 242 00:13:36,743 --> 00:13:39,492 I just couldn't resist a little sneak preview. 243 00:13:39,879 --> 00:13:42,431 - Did Miranda come with you? - No, I just... 244 00:13:43,302 --> 00:13:45,407 I won't be able to come to the opening... 245 00:13:45,478 --> 00:13:47,933 so, I wanted to... 246 00:13:48,614 --> 00:13:51,810 thank Aidan, you know, for inviting me, so... 247 00:13:52,678 --> 00:13:54,271 it's a mulberry bush. 248 00:13:54,565 --> 00:13:56,605 You know, 'cause the bar is on... 249 00:13:56,741 --> 00:13:58,082 Mulberry Street. 250 00:13:59,813 --> 00:14:01,918 Carrie, that's really sweet. 251 00:14:02,373 --> 00:14:03,617 Only... 252 00:14:04,676 --> 00:14:07,196 Aidan didn't exactly invite you, I did. 253 00:14:07,845 --> 00:14:09,055 You did. 254 00:14:09,220 --> 00:14:12,034 'Cause I thought Miranda might feel more comfortable... 255 00:14:12,099 --> 00:14:14,172 if she knew you were gonna be here, so... 256 00:14:14,244 --> 00:14:16,862 So, then Aidan didn't invite me? 257 00:14:17,731 --> 00:14:20,481 Not exactly, but... 258 00:14:20,547 --> 00:14:21,757 Steve! 259 00:14:22,179 --> 00:14:23,521 I got to go. 260 00:14:27,362 --> 00:14:30,657 That night, I wasn't the only one who was haunted. 261 00:14:37,729 --> 00:14:38,744 One phone call later... 262 00:14:39,010 --> 00:14:40,635 Does the ghost like Oreos? 263 00:14:40,705 --> 00:14:44,447 At this point, I'm almost hoping there is a ghost. Otherwise, I'm insane. 264 00:14:44,513 --> 00:14:46,782 You say that like it's an either-or proposition. 265 00:14:46,849 --> 00:14:49,020 I know, I'm sorry for making you come over. 266 00:14:49,088 --> 00:14:51,510 I just needed another person here, you know? 267 00:14:51,712 --> 00:14:53,686 'Cause the cat's an unreliable witness. 268 00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:56,826 Don't worry. I checked the rarely invoked haunted-house clause... 269 00:14:56,896 --> 00:15:00,027 of the best-friend contract, you're completely covered. 270 00:15:00,255 --> 00:15:01,978 Meanwhile, across the park... 271 00:15:02,047 --> 00:15:05,047 Charlotte, haunted by Bunny's decision to spend the night... 272 00:15:05,119 --> 00:15:06,941 couldn't sleep either. 273 00:15:11,870 --> 00:15:13,910 Bunny! What are you doing? 274 00:15:13,983 --> 00:15:16,535 I remembered I had some Vicks in my bag. 275 00:15:16,734 --> 00:15:18,621 It's the best thing for a cold. 276 00:15:18,685 --> 00:15:20,573 But I already gave him some NyQuil. 277 00:15:20,638 --> 00:15:24,314 NyQuil doesn't cure anything except consciousness. 278 00:15:24,381 --> 00:15:26,040 Don't you think I should do that? 279 00:15:26,109 --> 00:15:28,890 I've been doing it since he was a child. It's no bother. 280 00:15:28,957 --> 00:15:30,549 But I am his wife. 281 00:15:30,876 --> 00:15:33,145 If anyone does it, it should be me. 282 00:15:33,692 --> 00:15:35,601 Not on his tummy, Charlotte. 283 00:15:35,932 --> 00:15:38,103 You're trying to break up the phlegm. 284 00:15:38,204 --> 00:15:40,375 Let me. You don't know what you're doing. 285 00:15:40,636 --> 00:15:42,741 And you're being very inappropriate. 286 00:15:52,346 --> 00:15:56,143 I'm sorry, but this just isn't going to work. 287 00:15:56,410 --> 00:15:59,444 Trey and I are back together, and this is our house. 288 00:15:59,705 --> 00:16:02,323 And we will redecorate it as we see fit. 289 00:16:02,618 --> 00:16:05,585 No more plaid, no more duck decoys. 290 00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:07,727 From now on... 291 00:16:08,185 --> 00:16:10,706 there can only be one lady of the house. 292 00:16:11,961 --> 00:16:15,441 I've been in this house far longer than you, my dear. 293 00:16:15,513 --> 00:16:18,382 And unlike you, I never left. 294 00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:21,557 Believe me, the decoys may come and go... 295 00:16:22,072 --> 00:16:24,854 but I'm going to be here forever. 296 00:16:35,063 --> 00:16:36,557 Samantha, you home? 297 00:16:36,631 --> 00:16:38,932 Come on, baby, open up, it's me, Sean. 298 00:16:40,502 --> 00:16:41,931 Sam. 299 00:16:45,398 --> 00:16:47,699 What are you doing here? 300 00:16:47,765 --> 00:16:49,838 It's 3:00 in the morning. 301 00:16:50,229 --> 00:16:51,538 Let's fuck. 302 00:16:51,894 --> 00:16:55,189 - How did you even get in? - Your security code's still the same. 303 00:16:55,253 --> 00:16:56,747 How about it, can I come in? 304 00:16:56,821 --> 00:16:59,024 No, you can't be here right now. 305 00:16:59,092 --> 00:17:02,092 Come on, I got hard just walking up your stairs. 306 00:17:04,244 --> 00:17:06,927 - You got another guy in here or something? - No. 307 00:17:08,244 --> 00:17:10,032 Not another guy. 308 00:17:10,099 --> 00:17:11,343 I'm Maria... 309 00:17:11,571 --> 00:17:13,393 Samantha's girlfriend. 310 00:17:15,091 --> 00:17:17,479 Good for you. That's... 311 00:17:18,066 --> 00:17:19,495 Maybe I could come in... 312 00:17:19,571 --> 00:17:22,288 and you two could make me a sandwich or something. 313 00:17:24,466 --> 00:17:27,433 I don't think tonight's gonna be good for us. 314 00:17:27,762 --> 00:17:30,413 Come on, I'm only in town for just a... 315 00:17:33,170 --> 00:17:34,446 I'm sorry. 316 00:17:35,249 --> 00:17:37,899 You get away from the door, motherfucker! 317 00:17:38,128 --> 00:17:39,983 Before I call the cops! 318 00:17:40,849 --> 00:17:42,223 Okay, goodnight. 319 00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:43,662 And with that... 320 00:17:43,792 --> 00:17:47,654 Maria released Samantha's ghost and confronted Samantha. 321 00:17:50,032 --> 00:17:54,025 You let men come to your door like this in the middle of the night? 322 00:17:54,095 --> 00:17:55,982 Let it go, it's all in the past. 323 00:17:56,047 --> 00:17:58,895 It's not in the past. 324 00:17:58,959 --> 00:18:00,901 It's serving us drinks. 325 00:18:00,975 --> 00:18:04,552 It's on the answering machine. It's at your door in the middle of the night. 326 00:18:04,622 --> 00:18:08,713 All right, this might come as a shock to you, but I used to have sex with men. 327 00:18:08,782 --> 00:18:11,597 This man was here for nothing but sex. 328 00:18:11,662 --> 00:18:15,753 Yes, which I used to enjoy and haven't had much of since I got into this relationship. 329 00:18:15,821 --> 00:18:17,381 You call this a relationship? 330 00:18:17,453 --> 00:18:21,577 It's tedious and the sex is dwindling. So, from what I've heard, yes. 331 00:18:21,869 --> 00:18:24,716 If you have something to say to me... 332 00:18:24,781 --> 00:18:26,853 I have nothing to say to you. 333 00:18:26,925 --> 00:18:29,445 I am fresh out of things to say to you. 334 00:18:29,516 --> 00:18:31,588 All we ever do is talk. 335 00:18:31,660 --> 00:18:34,377 The talking in our relationship has replaced the fucking... 336 00:18:34,444 --> 00:18:35,938 in our fucking relationship! 337 00:18:36,012 --> 00:18:37,834 I don't want talk! 338 00:18:38,155 --> 00:18:41,700 I want passion. I want fireworks! 339 00:18:43,179 --> 00:18:44,935 Do you want fireworks? 340 00:18:45,003 --> 00:18:47,272 I'll show you fireworks! 341 00:18:50,698 --> 00:18:52,192 That's fireworks. 342 00:18:53,097 --> 00:18:55,618 What are you doing? Stop it! 343 00:18:57,097 --> 00:18:58,471 Stop! 344 00:19:00,425 --> 00:19:01,701 My plates! 345 00:19:01,769 --> 00:19:03,624 These are not your plates! 346 00:19:03,913 --> 00:19:06,530 You don't even cook! 347 00:19:08,745 --> 00:19:10,567 Want a little firework? 348 00:19:12,296 --> 00:19:13,702 Another little one? 349 00:19:16,487 --> 00:19:20,131 Didn't even leave a card. Now he won't know what the plant's supposed to mean. 350 00:19:21,447 --> 00:19:23,269 It's like I plant-bombed him. 351 00:19:24,647 --> 00:19:26,054 So, how did the bar look? 352 00:19:26,119 --> 00:19:28,028 Like Aidan. Amazing. 353 00:19:28,103 --> 00:19:29,510 Good for Steve. 354 00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:32,641 - That's convincing. - I know. 355 00:19:32,742 --> 00:19:34,684 I'm trying to be happy for him. 356 00:19:34,758 --> 00:19:38,816 He's got his own bar, his own life, his own Jessica. 357 00:19:40,230 --> 00:19:42,881 And I'm still here, you know? 358 00:19:43,397 --> 00:19:46,780 In the same apartment, doing the same job, living the same life. 359 00:19:49,317 --> 00:19:52,350 But you have something that no one else has, you have a ghost. 360 00:19:52,420 --> 00:19:54,525 You have a ghost. You have two. 361 00:19:54,629 --> 00:19:57,084 But at least Big's the friendly ghost. 362 00:19:57,668 --> 00:19:59,772 Aidan, on the other hand... 363 00:20:00,740 --> 00:20:04,668 I'm just afraid the way I treated him is gonna haunt me the rest of my life. 364 00:20:04,836 --> 00:20:08,894 - There's nothing I can do about it. - Sure there is. Come to the party. 365 00:20:08,963 --> 00:20:11,451 - Didn't invite me. - Steve's a good guy. 366 00:20:11,523 --> 00:20:14,304 He wouldn't have invited you if it wasn't okay with Aidan. 367 00:20:16,195 --> 00:20:19,740 Do you ever think that you might still have feelings for Steve? 368 00:20:20,386 --> 00:20:22,906 No. God, no, why? 369 00:20:24,162 --> 00:20:26,016 Do you? For Aidan? 370 00:20:27,489 --> 00:20:28,504 No. 371 00:20:30,081 --> 00:20:32,415 I don't know. I don't think so. 372 00:20:37,120 --> 00:20:38,494 I don't know. 373 00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:46,716 Thank you. 374 00:20:48,992 --> 00:20:51,544 I left Miranda's early, got some sleep... 375 00:20:51,775 --> 00:20:55,702 and in the light of day it felt like all my ghosts had disappeared. 376 00:20:55,934 --> 00:20:58,651 And I saw the world exactly as it was. 377 00:21:12,285 --> 00:21:14,903 A few days later, Trey felt better, too. 378 00:21:20,092 --> 00:21:23,441 So did Charlotte. Especially since Bunny moved out of the guest room... 379 00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:25,207 and back into her own apartment. 380 00:21:26,524 --> 00:21:28,411 Up and at 'em, George... 381 00:21:30,779 --> 00:21:32,306 I brought some... 382 00:21:34,523 --> 00:21:35,897 Oh, dear. 383 00:21:40,059 --> 00:21:42,873 I brought some muffins for breakfast. 384 00:21:44,090 --> 00:21:46,741 Charlotte didn't know whether it was their making love... 385 00:21:46,810 --> 00:21:50,388 or their making love on a bed without a dust ruffle that had offended her. 386 00:21:50,458 --> 00:21:52,530 But either way, their sexorcism... 387 00:21:52,601 --> 00:21:55,535 ensured Bunny never haunted their home again... 388 00:21:55,737 --> 00:21:57,809 unless expressly invited. 389 00:21:58,521 --> 00:22:01,488 While downtown, a dearly departed spirit... 390 00:22:01,816 --> 00:22:03,442 suddenly reappeared. 391 00:22:04,472 --> 00:22:07,155 It's been two days, I was worried. 392 00:22:07,704 --> 00:22:09,592 And you didn't even call. 393 00:22:09,783 --> 00:22:11,277 Neither did you. 394 00:22:17,367 --> 00:22:19,123 I brought you a gift. 395 00:22:21,910 --> 00:22:23,317 Better be dishes. 396 00:22:24,182 --> 00:22:25,392 Open it. 397 00:22:25,622 --> 00:22:27,597 Maria made one last-ditch effort... 398 00:22:27,670 --> 00:22:30,223 to give Samantha what she thought she needed. 399 00:22:30,326 --> 00:22:32,235 You bought me a strap-on? 400 00:22:34,293 --> 00:22:35,755 Samantha was touched. 401 00:22:35,861 --> 00:22:38,032 Since she couldn't bring herself to admit... 402 00:22:38,101 --> 00:22:40,589 she wasn't capable of being in a relationship... 403 00:22:40,661 --> 00:22:41,871 she simply said.' 404 00:22:41,941 --> 00:22:44,559 I guess we could give it a try. 405 00:22:45,173 --> 00:22:48,620 That night, despite all my fears and reservations... 406 00:22:48,692 --> 00:22:52,750 I let Miranda and Samantha talk me into going to the opening of Scout. 407 00:22:53,235 --> 00:22:54,184 Wow. 408 00:22:54,516 --> 00:22:58,444 Who are all these attractive people? Hello. 409 00:22:58,580 --> 00:23:01,776 Who cares? We're looking for Aidan, ladies. Eyes akimbo. 410 00:23:02,803 --> 00:23:04,461 That's it, stealth. 411 00:23:08,179 --> 00:23:12,107 What you doing there, sister? Getting your groove on, doing the robot? 412 00:23:12,338 --> 00:23:13,745 I threw my back out. 413 00:23:14,738 --> 00:23:15,720 How? 414 00:23:15,794 --> 00:23:17,834 Fucking Maria with a strap-on. 415 00:23:17,905 --> 00:23:19,596 She fucked me, I fucked her. 416 00:23:19,665 --> 00:23:23,080 With all the fucking and talking, I had no idea men had to work so hard. 417 00:23:23,153 --> 00:23:26,382 How does a strap-on work, exactly? Is it belted or... 418 00:23:26,449 --> 00:23:29,482 Could we not have the strap-on conversation right now? 419 00:23:29,552 --> 00:23:31,461 This night is hard enough as it is. 420 00:23:31,536 --> 00:23:34,089 - All right. - How does it work? 421 00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:36,047 What did I just say? 422 00:23:36,112 --> 00:23:38,446 It doesn't. Maria and I broke up. 423 00:23:38,511 --> 00:23:39,918 Sweetie, I'm sorry. 424 00:23:40,175 --> 00:23:42,695 Was it the strap-on that broke the relationship's back... 425 00:23:42,767 --> 00:23:43,847 or just yours? 426 00:23:43,919 --> 00:23:46,024 Maria thinks I have intimacy issues. 427 00:23:46,478 --> 00:23:47,493 She's crazy. 428 00:23:47,567 --> 00:23:50,284 I tried, I really did, but I'm not a relationship person. 429 00:23:50,351 --> 00:23:53,482 - I told her from the start, didn't I? - You most certainly did. 430 00:23:53,550 --> 00:23:55,971 I did. Then she has to go and fall in love with me. 431 00:23:56,046 --> 00:23:57,573 I mean, what the fuck! 432 00:23:58,062 --> 00:23:59,523 I need a drink. 433 00:23:59,917 --> 00:24:03,146 Would it be bad to have a martini with my muscle relaxant... 434 00:24:03,213 --> 00:24:04,904 or bad in a good way? 435 00:24:04,973 --> 00:24:08,006 I don't know. Are you operating heavy machinery this evening? 436 00:24:08,077 --> 00:24:09,353 Never again. 437 00:24:09,420 --> 00:24:11,176 Where's the bar in this bar? 438 00:24:11,277 --> 00:24:12,618 Miranda was right. 439 00:24:12,685 --> 00:24:14,856 When you see a ghost, you just know it. 440 00:24:14,924 --> 00:24:16,233 You can feel it. 441 00:24:16,364 --> 00:24:18,273 The hairs on the back of your neck stand up. 442 00:24:33,451 --> 00:24:34,792 That was it? 443 00:24:35,498 --> 00:24:36,905 That's all I get? 444 00:24:37,738 --> 00:24:39,494 I don't even know what that was. 445 00:24:39,562 --> 00:24:41,701 I don't know who that was. Was that Aidan? 446 00:24:41,770 --> 00:24:44,617 Does he look better, or have I just been with a woman too long? 447 00:24:44,681 --> 00:24:47,714 All right, that's enough. I'm going home, I don't know why I came. 448 00:24:47,785 --> 00:24:50,981 Because I begged you to. Come on, let me buy you ladies a free drink. 449 00:24:51,049 --> 00:24:51,997 Okay. 450 00:24:52,489 --> 00:24:54,561 - I'll meet you at the bar. - Okay. 451 00:24:56,808 --> 00:24:59,328 You came! I'm so glad. 452 00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:00,767 So? 453 00:25:01,351 --> 00:25:03,588 - What do you think? - I think... 454 00:25:04,999 --> 00:25:08,130 - I think you did good. - Really? You mean it? 455 00:25:09,159 --> 00:25:11,842 'Cause I never would've done this if it wasn't for you. 456 00:25:11,911 --> 00:25:13,983 What are you saying? I didn't do anything. 457 00:25:14,055 --> 00:25:17,251 Are you kidding me? This whole thing was your idea. 458 00:25:17,318 --> 00:25:19,522 You always told me I should start my own bar. 459 00:25:19,590 --> 00:25:22,688 I never forgot that. I just never thought... 460 00:25:23,014 --> 00:25:24,869 that I could, so... 461 00:25:25,734 --> 00:25:26,911 thanks. 462 00:25:29,030 --> 00:25:30,459 You did good. 463 00:25:31,493 --> 00:25:34,755 And just like that, Miranda gave up the ghost. 464 00:25:35,013 --> 00:25:37,052 Come on, let's get you drunk. 465 00:25:39,429 --> 00:25:42,243 An hour later, since my ghost hadn't reappeared... 466 00:25:42,628 --> 00:25:46,272 I decided to sneak out the side door for some cake and a smoke. 467 00:25:50,435 --> 00:25:52,923 You're not seriously smoking that, are you? 468 00:25:54,499 --> 00:25:57,346 - Is that all you could carry? - Shit. 469 00:25:59,043 --> 00:26:00,831 Now I can't eat my cake. 470 00:26:04,770 --> 00:26:06,177 Sure you can. 471 00:26:07,042 --> 00:26:09,213 Now you got your fingers all in it. 472 00:26:11,297 --> 00:26:12,541 That's my cake. 473 00:26:14,177 --> 00:26:15,639 So now you want the cake? 474 00:26:15,937 --> 00:26:18,075 I never not wanted it. 475 00:26:18,977 --> 00:26:21,115 Okay, lady, you take the cake. 476 00:26:35,616 --> 00:26:37,371 You cut your hair. 477 00:26:40,574 --> 00:26:42,679 You have frosting on your lip. 478 00:26:48,094 --> 00:26:49,207 Partner. 479 00:26:51,102 --> 00:26:53,141 It's time for our toast. 480 00:27:00,029 --> 00:27:02,549 I thought you were the silent partner. 481 00:27:05,084 --> 00:27:06,546 Glad you came. 482 00:27:20,091 --> 00:27:21,978 Good to see you, Carrie. 483 00:27:23,099 --> 00:27:24,855 Good to see you, too. 484 00:27:29,466 --> 00:27:31,027 I had confronted my ghost. 485 00:27:31,098 --> 00:27:33,334 I had accepted and released him... 486 00:27:33,466 --> 00:27:35,768 but now I was more haunted than ever. 487 00:27:36,378 --> 00:27:38,963 Because what I felt out there was no ghost... 488 00:27:39,033 --> 00:27:40,375 it was real. 37250

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