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1
00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:03,334
( Jazz music playing )
2
00:00:03,335 --> 00:00:04,869
Happy Valentine's Day, sir.
3
00:00:04,870 --> 00:00:07,171
Did you decide
what to get for Miss Fine?
4
00:00:07,172 --> 00:00:08,940
Yes... nothing.
5
00:00:08,941 --> 00:00:11,261
Oh, you can't get her the same
thing that you got me.
6
00:00:13,579 --> 00:00:15,179
Oh, I just thought it
could be misconstrued
7
00:00:15,180 --> 00:00:16,748
if I got her something
too personal.
8
00:00:16,749 --> 00:00:18,950
So I found this very funny card.
9
00:00:18,951 --> 00:00:21,352
On the front it says,
"What rhymes with cupid?"
10
00:00:21,353 --> 00:00:24,689
Then you open it up and inside
there's a mirror and it says,
11
00:00:24,690 --> 00:00:27,225
"Happy Valentine's Day, Stupid!"
12
00:00:27,226 --> 00:00:31,095
( laughs )
13
00:00:33,532 --> 00:00:35,066
Oh, Miss Fine, it's you.
14
00:00:35,067 --> 00:00:37,436
No, it is not.
It's Stupid.
15
00:00:38,971 --> 00:00:39,971
( Chuckles )
16
00:00:39,972 --> 00:00:41,305
Now, that's funny.
17
00:00:44,743 --> 00:00:47,111
How could you?
It's Valentine's Day,
18
00:00:47,112 --> 00:00:50,182
the most romantic holiday
of the entire year.
19
00:00:50,183 --> 00:00:52,350
Well... I just thought if I
got you a sentimental card
20
00:00:52,351 --> 00:00:53,885
that said, you know, I love you,
21
00:00:53,886 --> 00:00:56,020
you might go
and misinterpret it.
22
00:00:56,021 --> 00:00:57,088
Moi?
23
00:00:58,891 --> 00:01:01,192
Well,
it has been known to happen.
24
00:01:01,193 --> 00:01:03,929
We wake up in bed together,
you misinterpret it.
25
00:01:05,331 --> 00:01:08,967
We end up naked in the jacuzzi,
you misinterpret it.
26
00:01:10,670 --> 00:01:12,504
And then just because I asked
you to marry me...
27
00:01:12,505 --> 00:01:14,905
you go "Oh, do shut up,
you babbling British moron!"
28
00:01:17,543 --> 00:01:19,777
Well,
I hope you don't misinterpret it
29
00:01:19,778 --> 00:01:22,013
if one morning you happen
to wake up
30
00:01:22,014 --> 00:01:25,517
- and find a high heel in your butt.
- Oh.
31
00:01:25,518 --> 00:01:29,020
I wish I had never said,
"I love you" in the first place.
32
00:01:29,021 --> 00:01:30,655
Oh, oh my,
33
00:01:30,656 --> 00:01:32,696
my whole nervous
system just shut down.
34
00:01:35,594 --> 00:01:37,996
I can't see. I cannot see.
35
00:01:45,537 --> 00:01:48,272
All right, go on.
Go ahead, Niles. Fire away.
36
00:01:48,273 --> 00:01:50,473
Oh no, sir. It is not my place
to say anything,
37
00:01:51,443 --> 00:01:53,445
but a picture
paints a thousand words.
38
00:02:02,854 --> 00:02:05,623
♪ She was working in a bridal
shop in Flushing Queens ♪
39
00:02:05,624 --> 00:02:06,891
♪ Till her boyfriend
kicked her out ♪
40
00:02:06,892 --> 00:02:08,926
♪ In one of those
crushing scenes ♪
41
00:02:08,927 --> 00:02:10,562
♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪
42
00:02:10,563 --> 00:02:14,165
♪ She was out
on her fanny ♪
43
00:02:14,166 --> 00:02:16,401
♪ So over the bridge from Flushing
to the Sheffield's door ♪
44
00:02:16,402 --> 00:02:19,103
♪ She was there to sell
makeup, but father saw more ♪
45
00:02:19,104 --> 00:02:21,105
♪ She had style, she had
flair, she was there ♪
46
00:02:21,106 --> 00:02:25,009
♪ That's how she became
The Nanny ♪
47
00:02:25,010 --> 00:02:27,879
♪ Who would have guessed that
the girl we've described ♪
48
00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:30,047
♪ Was just exactly what
the doctor prescribed? ♪
49
00:02:30,048 --> 00:02:31,382
♪ Now the father finds
her beguiling ♪
50
00:02:31,383 --> 00:02:32,750
♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪
51
00:02:32,751 --> 00:02:34,251
♪ And the kids are
actually smiling ♪
52
00:02:34,252 --> 00:02:35,386
♪ Such joie de vivre ♪
53
00:02:35,387 --> 00:02:36,855
♪ She is the lady in red ♪
54
00:02:36,856 --> 00:02:41,392
♪ When everybody else
is wearing tan ♪
55
00:02:41,393 --> 00:02:43,228
♪ The flashy girl
from Flushing ♪
56
00:02:43,229 --> 00:02:44,596
♪ The Nanny named Fran ♪
57
00:02:48,834 --> 00:02:50,168
( doorbell chimes )
58
00:02:50,169 --> 00:02:52,170
I'll get it.
59
00:02:55,174 --> 00:02:56,307
Oh, hi, Ma.
60
00:02:56,308 --> 00:02:58,176
Fran, I'm so glad you're home.
61
00:02:58,177 --> 00:03:00,111
Yetta has lost her mind.
62
00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:02,514
And?
63
00:03:04,750 --> 00:03:07,518
She met a man and wants
to get married.
64
00:03:07,519 --> 00:03:08,619
Why? Are you pregnant?
65
00:03:11,424 --> 00:03:13,791
I don't think so.
66
00:03:13,792 --> 00:03:15,927
But I'm really late.
67
00:03:22,067 --> 00:03:23,835
Well, that makes her,
Martha Raye
68
00:03:23,836 --> 00:03:25,796
and Eva Braun
all married before me.
69
00:03:27,773 --> 00:03:29,240
The guy is up to no good.
70
00:03:29,241 --> 00:03:31,943
He looks at her
and sees dollar signs.
71
00:03:31,944 --> 00:03:34,646
What, Ma? He's making a deal
with the Colombians
72
00:03:34,647 --> 00:03:36,747
to move her stash of digitalis?
73
00:03:39,584 --> 00:03:41,686
She's got no money.
74
00:03:41,687 --> 00:03:45,356
She gets $200 a month
from Social Security.
75
00:03:45,357 --> 00:03:47,558
What do you think he's after,
her flat tuches?
76
00:03:51,297 --> 00:03:52,963
She's just jealous
77
00:03:52,964 --> 00:03:55,733
because so many men
are attracted to me.
78
00:03:57,336 --> 00:04:00,638
Even my doctor says
I got charisma.
79
00:04:03,008 --> 00:04:04,776
That's "arrhythmia," Yetta.
80
00:04:09,381 --> 00:04:11,282
Come on.
We're gonna go down to the bank
81
00:04:11,283 --> 00:04:14,786
and make sure that the
joint account she and I have
82
00:04:14,787 --> 00:04:18,022
says "both signatures required."
83
00:04:18,023 --> 00:04:20,558
Wait a second. Wait a second.
84
00:04:20,559 --> 00:04:23,561
Maybe he's really
attracted to her.
85
00:04:23,562 --> 00:04:24,562
Yeah.
86
00:04:31,036 --> 00:04:32,836
All right, come on.
Val will drive us.
87
00:04:34,839 --> 00:04:36,274
What were you thinking of?
88
00:04:36,275 --> 00:04:37,708
The man is a baby.
89
00:04:37,709 --> 00:04:40,111
He's 60 years old.
90
00:04:40,112 --> 00:04:41,345
60?
91
00:04:41,346 --> 00:04:44,082
Yetta, he is not even
back in diapers yet.
92
00:04:47,953 --> 00:04:50,188
You should be ashamed
of yourself.
93
00:04:50,189 --> 00:04:52,890
Two of him together
would be closer to your age.
94
00:04:55,427 --> 00:04:56,928
Not interested.
95
00:04:56,929 --> 00:04:58,529
With two men,
96
00:04:58,530 --> 00:05:00,865
there's always jealousy,
97
00:05:00,866 --> 00:05:03,101
performance anxiety.
98
00:05:11,877 --> 00:05:13,678
What?
99
00:05:13,679 --> 00:05:16,914
So now you know a little
something about nana.
100
00:05:19,217 --> 00:05:20,251
Come on.
101
00:05:24,489 --> 00:05:25,556
Oh, look.
102
00:05:25,557 --> 00:05:27,859
A space right in front
of the bank.
103
00:05:27,860 --> 00:05:30,427
Now wait a minute, Val.
This is handicap parking.
104
00:05:30,428 --> 00:05:32,730
It's okay. You're in therapy.
105
00:05:32,731 --> 00:05:34,899
You're an emotional cripple.
106
00:05:34,900 --> 00:05:38,570
No, no. Don't park illegally.
It isn't nice.
107
00:05:38,571 --> 00:05:40,238
Go over to that meter
over there.
108
00:05:40,239 --> 00:05:43,507
Here, put this bag on it.
109
00:05:43,508 --> 00:05:46,477
Nah. I'm just gonna
wait in the car.
110
00:05:46,478 --> 00:05:48,512
You don't need
to make a deposit?
111
00:05:48,513 --> 00:05:50,014
Oh, I don't belong to this bank.
112
00:05:50,015 --> 00:05:52,216
Oh. Where do you put your money?
113
00:05:52,217 --> 00:05:53,217
In a pig.
114
00:06:05,130 --> 00:06:08,365
- You coat your chicken
in peanut butter. -Oh.
115
00:06:08,366 --> 00:06:10,501
And then you roll it in stale
116
00:06:10,502 --> 00:06:12,503
crumbled ginger snaps.
117
00:06:12,504 --> 00:06:13,804
Mmm.
118
00:06:13,805 --> 00:06:17,074
And 1, 2, 3,
you got Hawaiian chicken.
119
00:06:20,279 --> 00:06:21,912
And daddy likes this?
120
00:06:21,913 --> 00:06:25,483
No.
He can't stand the sight of it.
121
00:06:25,484 --> 00:06:26,984
And one, two, three,
122
00:06:26,985 --> 00:06:30,254
I'm eating lobster
at the Seafood Broiler.
123
00:06:30,255 --> 00:06:31,989
( Chuckles )
124
00:06:31,990 --> 00:06:33,190
Good one, Ma.
125
00:06:33,191 --> 00:06:34,892
( Chuckles )
126
00:06:37,596 --> 00:06:39,831
( clears throat )
This is a hold-up.
127
00:06:39,832 --> 00:06:40,832
What?
128
00:06:42,601 --> 00:06:43,634
What's the hold up?
129
00:06:43,635 --> 00:06:45,736
Some yenta's picking
out designer checks.
130
00:06:47,072 --> 00:06:48,940
- ( Gunshot )
- ( screaming )
131
00:06:51,744 --> 00:06:54,445
All right!
Everyone on the floor!
132
00:06:58,583 --> 00:07:01,352
No, no quick moves
and no one gets in
133
00:07:01,353 --> 00:07:02,486
small unmarked bills.
134
00:07:04,657 --> 00:07:06,190
( Whispering )
Oh, my God, Ma!
135
00:07:06,191 --> 00:07:09,660
I can't believe we're in
the middle of a bank robbery.
136
00:07:09,661 --> 00:07:11,528
Oh, poor Mr. Sheffield!
137
00:07:11,529 --> 00:07:14,732
If I die,
he is going to feel so guilty
138
00:07:14,733 --> 00:07:16,300
about what he said.
139
00:07:16,301 --> 00:07:17,468
You know, this could work.
140
00:07:19,971 --> 00:07:21,472
Will you please shut up?
141
00:07:21,473 --> 00:07:22,473
Shh!
142
00:07:22,474 --> 00:07:24,542
He's not wearing a ring.
143
00:07:28,146 --> 00:07:30,648
Ma, he's a thief!
144
00:07:30,649 --> 00:07:34,251
Who's going to be worth millions
in a matter of minutes.
145
00:07:36,321 --> 00:07:37,988
( Sirens blaring )
146
00:07:45,264 --> 00:07:46,464
Oh, Maxwell, look!
They're making
147
00:07:46,465 --> 00:07:48,466
"Lost in Space" into a movie.
148
00:07:48,467 --> 00:07:51,369
Oh, I loved that as a child.
149
00:07:51,370 --> 00:07:53,037
Oh, I'm dating myself.
150
00:07:53,038 --> 00:07:55,273
Dating yourself?
That's pathetic.
151
00:07:55,274 --> 00:07:56,840
Even you can do better than you.
152
00:08:01,513 --> 00:08:04,449
This from a man
who parties with Pam.
153
00:08:04,450 --> 00:08:05,483
As in "a-can of."
154
00:08:07,752 --> 00:08:10,254
You know, the next time you
give your old clothes away,
155
00:08:10,255 --> 00:08:12,790
why don't you just stay in them?
156
00:08:12,791 --> 00:08:14,325
All right, that's it.
157
00:08:14,326 --> 00:08:16,860
I don't want you two in
the same room ever again.
158
00:08:16,861 --> 00:08:18,128
- Why?
- Why?
159
00:08:18,129 --> 00:08:21,466
Because I can't stand
it anymore, that's why!
160
00:08:21,467 --> 00:08:23,868
- What?
- This!
161
00:08:23,869 --> 00:08:25,036
This!
162
00:08:27,539 --> 00:08:30,508
Oh, my God,
something terrible happened!
163
00:08:30,509 --> 00:08:32,676
I just heard it on the news!
164
00:08:32,677 --> 00:08:34,845
What? What happened, Yetta?
165
00:08:34,846 --> 00:08:37,481
Wait a minute, I lost it.
166
00:08:40,185 --> 00:08:43,754
Don't worry, Yetta.
You told me in case you forgot.
167
00:08:43,755 --> 00:08:44,756
Who are you?
168
00:08:47,259 --> 00:08:50,828
Grace,
just tell me what happened.
169
00:08:50,829 --> 00:08:54,698
Fran and Sylvia are being
held hostage in a bank robbery.
170
00:08:54,699 --> 00:08:58,035
Oh! And this is how
you break bad news
171
00:08:58,036 --> 00:08:59,804
to an old woman?
172
00:08:59,805 --> 00:09:00,805
Oh!
173
00:09:02,508 --> 00:09:05,175
Oh, sir, this is horrible.
What shall we do?
174
00:09:05,176 --> 00:09:07,011
Well, I have to go
down there and help.
175
00:09:07,012 --> 00:09:09,013
Oh, of course.
The SWAT team and the FBI
176
00:09:09,014 --> 00:09:12,249
desperately need the producer of
"Jelly's Last Jam" on their side.
177
00:09:13,952 --> 00:09:15,432
- Niles, start the car.
- Sir.
178
00:09:27,165 --> 00:09:30,568
Oh, I can't believe
I'm going to die here.
179
00:09:30,569 --> 00:09:33,004
My whole life is passing
before my eyes.
180
00:09:33,005 --> 00:09:37,174
Beautiful baby, most
popular girl in high school.
181
00:09:37,175 --> 00:09:38,309
Maid.
182
00:09:40,879 --> 00:09:42,446
I'm thinking how pissed I am
183
00:09:42,447 --> 00:09:44,782
I didn't eat that second blintz
this morning.
184
00:09:48,853 --> 00:09:50,821
You're not thinking about daddy?
185
00:09:50,822 --> 00:09:52,723
Yeah! Who do you think ate it?
186
00:09:54,926 --> 00:09:57,127
I'm sorry, but if you two
can't please be quiet,
187
00:09:57,128 --> 00:09:58,328
I'm going to have to gag you.
188
00:09:58,329 --> 00:10:00,330
Oh, please! Would you?
189
00:10:06,905 --> 00:10:08,972
You know, sir,
190
00:10:08,973 --> 00:10:12,410
I don't mean to tell you
how to do a robbery or anything,
191
00:10:12,411 --> 00:10:13,678
but, uh,
192
00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:15,813
well, you really should have
brought some spray paint
193
00:10:15,814 --> 00:10:17,681
for those security cameras.
194
00:10:17,682 --> 00:10:19,116
That's why I wore the ski mask.
195
00:10:22,721 --> 00:10:23,921
It's not pulled down, is it?
196
00:10:31,396 --> 00:10:32,676
Brought the wrong hat, didn't I?
197
00:10:35,234 --> 00:10:37,802
I am sorry. Um,
I don't even know your name.
198
00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:39,069
I'm Leslie Tilbert.
199
00:10:40,472 --> 00:10:41,739
- Nobody heard that, did they?
- No!
200
00:10:41,740 --> 00:10:43,407
No!
201
00:10:43,408 --> 00:10:45,142
He said Leslie Tilbert.
202
00:10:51,483 --> 00:10:54,552
Your mother drove you to this,
didn't she?
203
00:10:54,553 --> 00:10:56,821
Actually, yes. I need the money
to buy her a condo in Florida
204
00:10:56,822 --> 00:10:58,121
so I can get her out of my life.
205
00:11:01,427 --> 00:11:03,193
You know,
I don't know what this is worth,
206
00:11:03,194 --> 00:11:06,096
but I want you to take it
with my blessings.
207
00:11:12,570 --> 00:11:14,105
Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse us.
208
00:11:14,106 --> 00:11:15,339
Excuse me.
209
00:11:15,340 --> 00:11:17,174
Could you let us through,
please?
210
00:11:17,175 --> 00:11:19,476
Miss Toriello, there you are.
What do you know so far?
211
00:11:19,477 --> 00:11:23,247
Well, uh, he's single, divorced.
212
00:11:24,650 --> 00:11:25,950
Who the hell cares?
213
00:11:28,386 --> 00:11:29,686
She must be in shock.
214
00:11:29,687 --> 00:11:32,323
Oh, no, sir.
What you see is what you get.
215
00:11:32,324 --> 00:11:35,259
No, I'm talking about Miss Fine.
How is Miss Fine and her mother?
216
00:11:35,260 --> 00:11:37,828
Oh, oh!
Well, so far, it's quiet.
217
00:11:37,829 --> 00:11:39,763
Oh, my God, he's killed her!
218
00:11:39,764 --> 00:11:40,965
Oh, no, sir, no.
219
00:11:50,274 --> 00:11:52,314
Boy, I'm never going
to get out of this.
220
00:11:54,178 --> 00:11:56,298
I should have gone
to med school like my brother.
221
00:11:57,582 --> 00:12:00,951
But, I hate the sight of blood.
222
00:12:00,952 --> 00:12:03,888
Oh, you hate the sight of blood?
223
00:12:07,258 --> 00:12:08,358
Excuse me.
224
00:12:10,194 --> 00:12:11,729
I'm a hippo-glycemic.
225
00:12:22,507 --> 00:12:25,109
If I don't eat something soon,
226
00:12:25,110 --> 00:12:26,410
it may be fatal.
227
00:12:28,313 --> 00:12:29,553
You... You're not going to die.
228
00:12:30,782 --> 00:12:31,782
She meant you.
229
00:12:36,989 --> 00:12:38,322
What should I do?
230
00:12:38,323 --> 00:12:39,690
I'd order takeout.
231
00:12:41,326 --> 00:12:43,627
You know, right across the
street there's a Roy Rogers,
232
00:12:43,628 --> 00:12:46,497
a Kenny Rogers,
and a Tony Roma's.
233
00:12:46,498 --> 00:12:48,132
We call it the Chazzer Strip.
234
00:12:50,502 --> 00:12:52,703
No, I'd like something light
235
00:12:52,704 --> 00:12:54,572
like Fettuccine Alfredo.
236
00:12:55,874 --> 00:12:59,177
You know,
deli's easier with a group.
237
00:12:59,178 --> 00:13:01,812
Oh, you know, he's right,
but do we want dairy or meat?
238
00:13:01,813 --> 00:13:03,114
'Cause I could go either way.
239
00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:08,085
( All talking )
240
00:13:08,086 --> 00:13:09,286
- Shut up!
- ( gunshot )
241
00:13:09,287 --> 00:13:10,487
( all scream )
242
00:13:14,393 --> 00:13:15,393
We'll do deli.
243
00:13:19,197 --> 00:13:21,765
What's going on in there?
Is everyone all right?
244
00:13:21,766 --> 00:13:25,202
Fran: We're okay!
245
00:13:25,203 --> 00:13:27,070
That's one of the hostages
on the megaphone.
246
00:13:27,071 --> 00:13:28,272
Oh!
247
00:13:28,273 --> 00:13:31,208
That's no megaphone,
that's my nanny.
248
00:13:41,486 --> 00:13:44,020
Now, remember,
only three or four ice cubes.
249
00:13:44,021 --> 00:13:45,989
A martini is not a smoothie.
250
00:13:49,327 --> 00:13:52,696
Well, when do we dip the
gym sock in it for good luck?
251
00:13:52,697 --> 00:13:53,697
What?
252
00:13:53,698 --> 00:13:55,466
That's how Niles makes yours.
253
00:13:59,371 --> 00:14:01,091
- Hi, Yetta.
- Hey, what's going on?
254
00:14:02,774 --> 00:14:05,475
I don't want
to upset your sister,
255
00:14:05,476 --> 00:14:09,280
so don't say anything
about Fran and Sylvia
256
00:14:09,281 --> 00:14:11,815
being held hostage in the bank.
257
00:14:11,816 --> 00:14:14,051
Oh, my God, that's awful!
Are they okay?
258
00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:16,453
Let's start over.
259
00:14:18,123 --> 00:14:22,359
I don't want to upset
your sister, so...
260
00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:23,894
Yetta, Yetta, Yetta, Yetta.
261
00:14:25,330 --> 00:14:26,497
Look, is Fran all right?
262
00:14:26,498 --> 00:14:28,699
The police are there.
Don't worry.
263
00:14:28,700 --> 00:14:30,367
Well, how can we not worry?
264
00:14:30,368 --> 00:14:31,535
Try one of these smoothies.
265
00:14:34,972 --> 00:14:36,740
Oy gevalt!
266
00:14:36,741 --> 00:14:39,242
Am I crazy or does
this prune danish
267
00:14:39,243 --> 00:14:41,645
look exactly like Moshe Dayan?
268
00:14:44,282 --> 00:14:46,350
Both.
269
00:14:46,351 --> 00:14:49,587
It's like the cinnamon bun
that looked like Mother Teresa.
270
00:14:50,888 --> 00:14:53,090
We're gonna be rich!
271
00:14:53,091 --> 00:14:56,126
Mugs, T-shirts.
272
00:14:56,127 --> 00:14:59,430
We'll go on David Susskind.
273
00:14:59,431 --> 00:15:01,732
Yetta, Yetta,
your daughter and granddaughter
274
00:15:01,733 --> 00:15:03,900
Are being held hostage
at a bank.
275
00:15:03,901 --> 00:15:04,901
What?
276
00:15:10,776 --> 00:15:12,376
Now, uh,
277
00:15:12,377 --> 00:15:15,313
here's his list of demands.
278
00:15:18,383 --> 00:15:21,952
He wants a limousine
to the airport,
279
00:15:26,391 --> 00:15:30,528
a private jet to Mexico,
280
00:15:30,529 --> 00:15:32,029
uh-huh...
281
00:15:32,030 --> 00:15:34,398
Oh, and that Valentino dress
282
00:15:34,399 --> 00:15:36,133
in Bergdorf's window.
283
00:15:36,134 --> 00:15:37,201
Thank you.
284
00:15:42,841 --> 00:15:43,907
What?
285
00:15:45,744 --> 00:15:47,778
They don't gotta know
you're straight.
286
00:15:49,481 --> 00:15:51,181
( Telephone rings )
287
00:15:51,182 --> 00:15:52,483
Hello?
288
00:15:52,484 --> 00:15:55,652
Oh. It's... It's Maxwell again.
289
00:15:55,653 --> 00:15:57,087
Tell him I'm not here.
290
00:16:00,592 --> 00:16:03,127
Come on. Just... just say hello.
291
00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:04,728
( Whispering )
No.
292
00:16:10,001 --> 00:16:11,501
She doesn't want to talk to you.
293
00:16:14,005 --> 00:16:17,007
Well, I think she's feeling
a little hurt right now, Max.
294
00:16:20,044 --> 00:16:22,084
Tell him we're just sitting
down to eat.
295
00:16:23,615 --> 00:16:26,316
Okay, all right,
I'll talk to you later, buddy.
296
00:16:26,317 --> 00:16:27,384
Bye-bye.
297
00:16:29,854 --> 00:16:31,221
Gee, Fran,
I'm so glad you're here.
298
00:16:31,222 --> 00:16:33,723
I'm totally
screwing up this robbery.
299
00:16:33,724 --> 00:16:34,991
I'm... I'm no good at anything.
300
00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:38,929
What are you talking about?
301
00:16:38,930 --> 00:16:42,399
You're doing a tremendous job.
302
00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:45,135
Everybody is terrified of you.
303
00:16:48,973 --> 00:16:50,774
Drop that pastrami!
304
00:16:53,044 --> 00:16:56,947
You didn't want to order,
you were too nervous to eat,
305
00:16:56,948 --> 00:16:58,648
now you deal with it.
306
00:17:05,790 --> 00:17:07,124
Go around back
and see if anybody
307
00:17:07,125 --> 00:17:09,593
from the SWAT team can
get a clear shot at him.
308
00:17:09,594 --> 00:17:11,161
Niles: Excuse me, excuse me.
309
00:17:11,162 --> 00:17:14,198
- Here you are, sir.
- Oh, Niles, thank you so much.
310
00:17:14,199 --> 00:17:17,001
Niles,
may I confess something to you?
311
00:17:17,002 --> 00:17:19,469
Well, I'm not a priest,
sir, but I'm this close
312
00:17:19,470 --> 00:17:20,571
to living the life of one.
313
00:17:22,707 --> 00:17:25,642
I said something awful
to Miss Fine.
314
00:17:25,643 --> 00:17:26,944
More awful than saying
you were sorry
315
00:17:26,945 --> 00:17:29,947
that you ever said you loved her
in the first place?
316
00:17:29,948 --> 00:17:32,616
You know, I ought to rip that
bloody intercom out of the wall.
317
00:17:32,617 --> 00:17:33,984
You promised you wouldn't
listen in again.
318
00:17:33,985 --> 00:17:35,385
Oh, have a heart, sir.
319
00:17:35,386 --> 00:17:38,455
I quit for two weeks, but I
ballooned up to a 38 waist.
320
00:17:40,725 --> 00:17:43,727
I mean, what if, God forbid,
321
00:17:43,728 --> 00:17:46,663
anything should happen
to Miss Fine in there?
322
00:17:46,664 --> 00:17:48,798
I just couldn't live
with myself knowing that
323
00:17:48,799 --> 00:17:51,735
those were the last words
she ever heard from me.
324
00:17:51,736 --> 00:17:53,504
Well,
why don't you send her a card?
325
00:17:53,505 --> 00:17:54,905
( Chuckles )
326
00:17:56,474 --> 00:17:57,574
I'm all wound up, sir.
327
00:18:00,444 --> 00:18:03,147
- This is a Tarte Tatin.
- Eh.
328
00:18:03,148 --> 00:18:05,115
Chocolate decadence
329
00:18:05,116 --> 00:18:07,036
and a lovely
New York cheesecake.
330
00:18:10,255 --> 00:18:12,135
What happened
to the blueberry crumble?
331
00:18:18,262 --> 00:18:20,163
That went very fast.
332
00:18:20,164 --> 00:18:21,498
Oh.
333
00:18:23,501 --> 00:18:25,069
Mmm.
334
00:18:25,070 --> 00:18:27,338
Gee, Fran,
I'm sad this has to end.
335
00:18:27,339 --> 00:18:30,140
Oh, you and me both.
336
00:18:30,141 --> 00:18:31,775
You know, believe it or not,
337
00:18:31,776 --> 00:18:33,710
this isn't the worst date
I've ever had.
338
00:18:36,347 --> 00:18:38,949
Police: You in there!
We got you a limo!
339
00:18:38,950 --> 00:18:40,951
- Oh!
- My ride's here. I gotta go.
340
00:18:40,952 --> 00:18:41,952
Oh.
341
00:18:44,188 --> 00:18:46,823
You want to take a little
something for the road?
342
00:18:46,824 --> 00:18:48,291
No, thanks, Sylvia. I'm full.
343
00:18:48,292 --> 00:18:50,494
I'm talking about the money!
344
00:18:52,163 --> 00:18:54,565
Oye, is this a schmendrick?
345
00:18:54,566 --> 00:18:55,566
Mm-mm.
346
00:18:56,935 --> 00:18:58,635
Oh, you know, it's Friday.
347
00:18:58,636 --> 00:19:00,170
You're gonna hit
all kinds of traffic.
348
00:19:00,171 --> 00:19:01,538
Listen to me, you'll be smart.
349
00:19:01,539 --> 00:19:04,941
Take the expressway
to the Flatbush Circle exit.
350
00:19:04,942 --> 00:19:07,978
Go around the circle
and hang a right.
351
00:19:07,979 --> 00:19:10,681
I thought you make
a right halfway 'round.
352
00:19:10,682 --> 00:19:12,883
No, that's the way you go,
'cause you always stop
353
00:19:12,884 --> 00:19:14,618
at that
Mongolian barbecue place.
354
00:19:14,619 --> 00:19:16,620
And that's where you
make the right.
355
00:19:16,621 --> 00:19:18,021
You're wrong, Ma.
356
00:19:18,022 --> 00:19:20,791
You'll never find it.
We'll go with you.
357
00:19:20,792 --> 00:19:22,592
Ma!
358
00:19:22,593 --> 00:19:24,194
No, no, no, it's...
it's a great idea,
359
00:19:24,195 --> 00:19:25,529
because I... I could
use some cover.
360
00:19:25,530 --> 00:19:26,897
- Let's go. Come on.
- Oh!
361
00:19:26,898 --> 00:19:29,833
Oh, oh, oh!
362
00:19:29,834 --> 00:19:31,914
And still not the worst
date I've ever had.
363
00:19:33,238 --> 00:19:35,205
Oh!
364
00:19:35,206 --> 00:19:36,707
( Fran grunting )
365
00:19:36,708 --> 00:19:39,910
Miss Fine! Miss Fine!
Are you... are you all right?
366
00:19:39,911 --> 00:19:42,279
Oh, Mr. Sheffield...
I'm not talking to you.
367
00:19:43,748 --> 00:19:45,449
Oh, Miss Fine, please!
368
00:19:45,450 --> 00:19:47,551
Please, you... you have to
listen to me!
369
00:19:47,552 --> 00:19:49,486
There is nothing more to say.
370
00:19:49,487 --> 00:19:51,888
I just think
that it's really sad
371
00:19:51,889 --> 00:19:53,290
that my abductor and I
372
00:19:53,291 --> 00:19:55,459
are closer than you
and I will ever be.
373
00:19:59,497 --> 00:20:00,831
Miss Fine,
374
00:20:00,832 --> 00:20:04,168
I'm not sorry I told you
375
00:20:04,169 --> 00:20:05,669
I love you.
376
00:20:05,670 --> 00:20:06,770
She said she doesn't want
377
00:20:06,771 --> 00:20:08,038
- to talk to you...
- Genug already!
378
00:20:08,039 --> 00:20:10,440
Make your getaway and shut up!
379
00:20:10,441 --> 00:20:12,175
Mr. Sheffield!
380
00:20:12,176 --> 00:20:14,344
Oh, Miss Fine!
381
00:20:14,345 --> 00:20:17,081
Oh, Mr. Sheffield, I thought
I'd never see you again.
382
00:20:17,082 --> 00:20:18,348
Oh! Thank God,
you're all right!
383
00:20:18,349 --> 00:20:19,383
- Oh!
- Oh, Miss Fine,
384
00:20:19,384 --> 00:20:22,819
I am so sorry I gave you
that stupid card!
385
00:20:22,820 --> 00:20:25,589
Oh, and I'm sorry that
I cut up your good silk tie
386
00:20:25,590 --> 00:20:27,590
to make Gracie's Barbie
an evening gown...
387
00:20:27,591 --> 00:20:29,426
This could be
the trauma talking.
388
00:20:29,427 --> 00:20:31,561
Fran! Fran!
389
00:20:31,562 --> 00:20:33,130
Oh! Val! Val!
390
00:20:34,766 --> 00:20:37,401
Oh! The bank robber
took your mother!
391
00:20:37,402 --> 00:20:39,469
Oh, my God!
392
00:20:39,470 --> 00:20:40,837
That poor man!
393
00:20:46,144 --> 00:20:49,112
Oh, look at this, they're
interviewing ma on the news.
394
00:20:49,113 --> 00:20:51,315
The pursuit ended abruptly
when the bank robber
395
00:20:51,316 --> 00:20:53,250
made a wrong turn
and was apprehended
396
00:20:53,251 --> 00:20:55,418
in front
of the Mongolian barbecue.
397
00:20:55,419 --> 00:20:58,021
Sylvia Fine, one of the
hostages, was with him.
398
00:20:58,022 --> 00:21:00,724
Sylvia,
can you describe it for us?
399
00:21:00,725 --> 00:21:02,226
Honestly?
400
00:21:02,227 --> 00:21:03,426
It's a little fatty.
401
00:21:04,863 --> 00:21:06,823
I think they're
under new management.
402
00:21:08,065 --> 00:21:10,467
Oh, I'll tell you.
403
00:21:10,468 --> 00:21:12,569
If I hadn't given
him that shortcut
404
00:21:12,570 --> 00:21:16,005
to the airport,
ma would be in Mexico by now.
405
00:21:16,006 --> 00:21:17,641
I'm gonna have
to let go of that.
406
00:21:17,642 --> 00:21:18,642
Hmm, hmm.
407
00:21:20,845 --> 00:21:22,212
Oh, hi, Mr. Sheffield.
408
00:21:22,213 --> 00:21:24,013
Uh, wait a minute.
409
00:21:24,014 --> 00:21:26,750
I have a
Valentine's Day card for you.
410
00:21:26,751 --> 00:21:29,119
- Oh, Miss Fine, thank you.
- ( giggles )
411
00:21:29,120 --> 00:21:30,286
Okay.
412
00:21:30,287 --> 00:21:33,724
Look, two puppy dogs kissing.
413
00:21:33,725 --> 00:21:35,725
Uh-huh.
414
00:21:35,726 --> 00:21:39,563
"For Valentine's Day,
I give you my heart...
415
00:21:40,531 --> 00:21:41,598
worm."
416
00:21:43,902 --> 00:21:44,935
Heartworm?
417
00:21:46,905 --> 00:21:50,173
It's a parasite!
418
00:21:52,043 --> 00:21:54,177
Dogs get it all the time.
419
00:21:56,414 --> 00:21:57,614
It's a joke.
420
00:22:00,318 --> 00:22:02,252
What?
421
00:22:02,253 --> 00:22:05,222
Well, it is a little impersonal,
don't you think?
422
00:22:05,223 --> 00:22:07,891
- Oh, what are you getting so upset about?
- Well, we have known each other
423
00:22:07,892 --> 00:22:09,059
for four years.
424
00:22:09,060 --> 00:22:10,460
I just feel...
425
00:22:10,461 --> 00:22:12,062
Don't touch that intercom.
426
00:22:14,899 --> 00:22:16,400
You have my word, sir.
427
00:22:21,239 --> 00:22:24,508
- Oh, Miss Grace?
- Yes?
428
00:22:24,509 --> 00:22:26,429
Would you push
that button for me?
429
00:22:28,213 --> 00:22:31,014
Thank you.
430
00:22:31,015 --> 00:22:33,183
- Fran: Don't talk to me like that.
-Maxwell: I'm human.
431
00:22:33,184 --> 00:22:35,686
- I have feelings, you know?
- We take one step forward
432
00:22:35,687 --> 00:22:38,355
and two steps back.
433
00:22:38,356 --> 00:22:41,358
( jazz music playing )
30845
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