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1
00:00:04,084 --> 00:00:05,283
No.
2
00:00:05,352 --> 00:00:07,385
Has it been a year already?
3
00:00:07,420 --> 00:00:10,455
� You're a grand old flag,
you're a high-flying flag �
4
00:00:10,490 --> 00:00:13,958
� And forever in peace may you wave �
5
00:00:14,028 --> 00:00:16,195
We love the Fourth of July.
6
00:00:16,230 --> 00:00:17,430
It's the perfect holiday.
7
00:00:17,465 --> 00:00:21,133
You get to cook outside,
blow stuff up, wear shorts.
8
00:00:21,169 --> 00:00:22,601
Easter should be taking notes.
9
00:00:22,637 --> 00:00:26,639
ª Keep your eyes
on the grand old flag �
10
00:00:26,674 --> 00:00:28,340
That was longer than I remember.
11
00:00:29,477 --> 00:00:30,876
Hello?
12
00:00:30,912 --> 00:00:34,580
Joe, you should be thankful
that you live in this country.
13
00:00:34,615 --> 00:00:38,083
I spent half of my childhood
in a Banana Republic.
14
00:00:38,119 --> 00:00:40,986
It was the only store in my village
that had air-conditioner.
15
00:00:41,143 --> 00:00:42,776
Yes, Mr. President.
16
00:00:42,811 --> 00:00:45,012
Yes, sir, I'd be honored to,
sir. Thank you.
17
00:00:45,047 --> 00:00:46,780
Amazing news.
18
00:00:46,815 --> 00:00:49,249
The grand marshal for today's
parade just got #MeToo'd,
19
00:00:49,285 --> 00:00:50,617
and they need me to fill in.
20
00:00:50,653 --> 00:00:53,553
Jay, I'm so happy for you!
21
00:00:53,589 --> 00:00:55,789
So, now the only thing left
on your bucket list
22
00:00:55,824 --> 00:00:57,924
is to bare-knuckle fight a Russian!
23
00:00:57,960 --> 00:00:59,392
Ay!
24
00:00:59,427 --> 00:01:01,561
And Manny's gonna be back home
25
00:01:01,596 --> 00:01:04,764
from his big road trip
just in time for the parade.
26
00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:07,133
He's been gone for so long.
I can't wait to see him.
27
00:01:07,169 --> 00:01:08,268
That's great!
28
00:01:08,303 --> 00:01:10,003
We'll have the whole family
back together with me
29
00:01:10,038 --> 00:01:12,038
to ride in the convertible LeBaron.
30
00:01:12,073 --> 00:01:13,920
Joe, how's your parade wave?
31
00:01:14,176 --> 00:01:15,575
We'll work on it.
32
00:01:15,810 --> 00:01:17,076
� Every heart beats true �
33
00:01:17,112 --> 00:01:18,511
� For the red, white, and blue �
34
00:01:18,546 --> 00:01:19,979
� Where there's never a... �
35
00:01:20,015 --> 00:01:25,015
Synced and corrected by BLuk
www.addic7ed.com
36
00:01:34,195 --> 00:01:35,361
More!
37
00:01:37,132 --> 00:01:39,699
Yeah. I've got time to help you.
38
00:01:39,734 --> 00:01:41,601
Look at your cousin being so sweet
39
00:01:41,636 --> 00:01:42,869
and helping out a friend.
40
00:01:42,904 --> 00:01:46,639
Such a weak little coward.
Are we done yet?
41
00:01:47,074 --> 00:01:49,175
No. It's a really big bridge.
42
00:01:49,210 --> 00:01:51,477
Or maybe you're just a really tiny man.
43
00:01:52,747 --> 00:01:54,680
Things were going great
on my cross-country drive
44
00:01:54,715 --> 00:01:56,415
until I fell behind schedule
45
00:01:56,451 --> 00:01:59,018
after I developed a perfectly
rational, fact-based fear
46
00:01:59,053 --> 00:02:01,532
of driving over bridges.
47
00:02:01,557 --> 00:02:03,589
I called Cam for support
since he taught driver's ed,
48
00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:06,025
- but he wasn't around.
- What?
49
00:02:06,060 --> 00:02:07,593
Turns out a strong verbal lashing
50
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:10,162
was exactly what I needed
to get me across that bridge
51
00:02:10,198 --> 00:02:12,832
and the many others that cover
this country like a cancer.
52
00:02:12,867 --> 00:02:15,968
Okay, Cal. Let's say hi to Mommy.
53
00:02:16,003 --> 00:02:17,303
- Say, "Hi, Mommy!"
- Whoa, whoa.
54
00:02:17,338 --> 00:02:19,672
if I'm in that shot, back up
a-and turn the lights down.
55
00:02:19,707 --> 00:02:22,007
We had Chinese food last night.
I look like a blowfish.
56
00:02:22,043 --> 00:02:23,809
Okay, you know what, Mitchell?
It's not about you.
57
00:02:23,845 --> 00:02:26,479
I promised we would send a video of Cal
58
00:02:26,514 --> 00:02:28,747
to my sister for her birthday,
59
00:02:28,783 --> 00:02:31,717
and that was a week ago,
so we got to get it done.
60
00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:35,321
We have been watching
my big-for-his-age nephew Cal
61
00:02:35,356 --> 00:02:36,822
while my sister Pameron is...
62
00:02:36,858 --> 00:02:38,791
is back in Missouri
paying off a little debt.
63
00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:40,192
To society. She's in prison.
64
00:02:40,228 --> 00:02:41,627
For a tiny parole violation.
65
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:42,928
She tried something on in a store
66
00:02:42,964 --> 00:02:44,063
and accidentally walked out.
67
00:02:44,098 --> 00:02:45,664
It was another woman's purse.
68
00:02:45,700 --> 00:02:47,233
The silver lining is,
69
00:02:47,268 --> 00:02:50,503
Cal is benefiting from
our parenting experience.
70
00:02:50,538 --> 00:02:52,872
Mitchell is molding young Cal's brain
71
00:02:52,907 --> 00:02:55,541
while I handle the young boy's body.
72
00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:57,042
It's a miracle we're not in prison.
73
00:02:57,078 --> 00:02:58,177
Yeah.
74
00:02:58,212 --> 00:03:00,913
Okay, let's sing the alphabet for Mommy.
75
00:03:00,948 --> 00:03:02,581
Come on, you and I worked on this.
76
00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:05,384
6!
77
00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:07,319
You know, I think I put
so much information in there,
78
00:03:07,355 --> 00:03:08,854
it's getting jumbled up on the way out.
79
00:03:08,890 --> 00:03:10,389
Well, let's... let's do
some of your stuff.
80
00:03:10,424 --> 00:03:11,457
Throw him a ball or something.
81
00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:13,425
Okay, yeah. That's a great idea.
82
00:03:13,461 --> 00:03:15,427
Okay, on the count of 3, Cal.
83
00:03:15,463 --> 00:03:17,763
Are you ready? 1, 2, 3!
84
00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:19,265
Okay.
85
00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:20,699
All right, um... well, hugs!
86
00:03:20,735 --> 00:03:22,835
Hey, how about a hug?
87
00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:25,538
Aww. He is such a good hugger.
88
00:03:25,573 --> 00:03:26,605
Okay, here's the thing...
89
00:03:26,641 --> 00:03:28,274
football camp started when Cal came.
90
00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:29,441
Then I was laid up
91
00:03:29,477 --> 00:03:31,343
because of that dinner
at Absolutely Crabulous.
92
00:03:31,379 --> 00:03:34,079
Well, don't worry. I've been
slacking on my end, too.
93
00:03:34,115 --> 00:03:36,682
Yeah, but I've been telling Pam
that Cal is thriving here.
94
00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:39,718
We can't send her a video
of him reciting his AB6s!
95
00:03:40,855 --> 00:03:42,955
- I wonder...
- Go on. I'm in.
96
00:03:42,990 --> 00:03:44,990
Is it possible to shoot him in a way
97
00:03:45,026 --> 00:03:46,892
that makes him look better than he is?
98
00:03:46,928 --> 00:03:48,794
Honey, are you kidding?
Vin Diesel's a movie star.
99
00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:50,062
Anything's possible with editing.
100
00:03:53,534 --> 00:03:54,667
What do you got there?
101
00:03:54,702 --> 00:03:57,202
Just choosing some classes
for college.
102
00:03:57,238 --> 00:03:58,737
This one looks interesting.
103
00:03:58,773 --> 00:04:01,974
"In this intensive"... Nope.
104
00:04:02,009 --> 00:04:04,543
Drop that!
105
00:04:04,579 --> 00:04:06,211
Game day, buddy.
106
00:04:06,247 --> 00:04:08,614
For the first time ever,
Luke and I are taking part
107
00:04:08,649 --> 00:04:11,517
in the sport of kings,
the savory science.
108
00:04:11,552 --> 00:04:14,019
We're teamed in a parent/child
hot-dog-eating contest.
109
00:04:14,055 --> 00:04:16,121
We've been training for weeks,
and I'm proud to say that Luke,
110
00:04:16,157 --> 00:04:19,491
like his old man, is blessed
with a dogger's mouth.
111
00:04:19,527 --> 00:04:21,327
I felt something tear inside.
112
00:04:21,362 --> 00:04:22,728
Push through it.
113
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:25,197
You'll thank me when you start
to feel the gorger's high.
114
00:04:30,004 --> 00:04:31,503
Aah! What the hell?!
115
00:04:31,539 --> 00:04:33,305
Is the hot dog making you angry?
116
00:04:33,341 --> 00:04:36,075
An angry stomach is 12% larger. Boo!
117
00:04:36,110 --> 00:04:37,710
I think we've got a real shot
118
00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:39,612
to take down Rhonda and Thandie Hodak.
119
00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:40,846
But they're undefeated.
120
00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:43,082
I guess that makes us "under-dogs."
121
00:04:43,117 --> 00:04:45,484
How long
you been sitting on that one?
122
00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:47,686
Not as long as you've been
sitting on that couch.
123
00:04:47,722 --> 00:04:48,854
Hey, hey.
124
00:04:48,889 --> 00:04:50,422
Can I get in on that floor bagel?
125
00:04:50,458 --> 00:04:53,425
Alex decided to take off
some time earlier this summer,
126
00:04:53,461 --> 00:04:55,494
and, like everything else she does,
127
00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:57,129
she did it a little too well.
128
00:04:58,633 --> 00:05:01,133
Who's there? Did you bring food?
129
00:05:01,168 --> 00:05:02,735
Tomatoes.
130
00:05:02,770 --> 00:05:04,937
But they won't be ready for six weeks.
131
00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:06,305
You have a backup?
132
00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:07,773
Well, I fell asleep on my phone,
133
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:10,175
and I think my face ordered another one.
134
00:05:11,312 --> 00:05:13,178
You know, do you want to join me?
135
00:05:13,214 --> 00:05:14,480
You go back to work in a few weeks.
136
00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:16,281
You'll regret it
if you don't relax a little.
137
00:05:16,317 --> 00:05:18,217
Okay. Sure.
138
00:05:18,252 --> 00:05:20,519
The... This can wait 10 minutes
139
00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:23,989
until I get him into the ground, right?
140
00:05:25,259 --> 00:05:27,393
Can you scratch my nose?
I feel like you're closer.
141
00:05:27,428 --> 00:05:28,861
Okay, up on the table
142
00:05:28,896 --> 00:05:31,797
for a little stomach massage
and heckler prep.
143
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:34,033
Hey, gals, things haven't
been going that great
144
00:05:34,068 --> 00:05:35,934
between me and Arvin,
and he's stopping by
145
00:05:35,970 --> 00:05:37,970
to say goodbye
before leaving for Switzerland.
146
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:39,371
Could you take off the onesies
147
00:05:39,407 --> 00:05:41,640
and make it look like we don't
live in an insane asylum?
148
00:05:41,676 --> 00:05:44,543
You suck! You eat like a moron!
149
00:05:44,578 --> 00:05:46,912
My God! It's like you want Arvin
150
00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:49,381
to throw his return ticket off an Alp!
151
00:05:49,417 --> 00:05:51,450
No wonder she's so stressed.
152
00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:53,419
She's wearing, like, a seven-sie.
153
00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:59,158
Haley. Fancy meeting you here.
154
00:05:59,193 --> 00:06:01,326
Wait, why? I-I live here.
155
00:06:01,362 --> 00:06:03,896
No, I-I know. I was...
I was making a joke.
156
00:06:03,931 --> 00:06:05,064
It was stupid.
157
00:06:05,099 --> 00:06:07,066
No, it... it wasn't stupid.
It was funny.
158
00:06:07,101 --> 00:06:08,233
Well, you didn't laugh.
159
00:06:08,269 --> 00:06:10,469
Well, do it again. I'll laugh this time.
160
00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:11,870
I'd rather not.
161
00:06:11,906 --> 00:06:14,073
Sorry. I'm just, um, a little...
162
00:06:14,108 --> 00:06:17,494
I'm really nervous,
and I feel like this goodbye
163
00:06:17,529 --> 00:06:18,762
has so much pressure on it.
164
00:06:18,797 --> 00:06:21,543
So let's just relax
and be with each other.
165
00:06:22,777 --> 00:06:23,909
I actually have to go.
166
00:06:23,945 --> 00:06:26,312
No, seriously.
167
00:06:26,347 --> 00:06:28,080
I misread my itinerary,
168
00:06:28,115 --> 00:06:30,282
and I have to get to the airport.
169
00:06:30,317 --> 00:06:32,184
No! So, this is it?
170
00:06:32,219 --> 00:06:33,752
This is goodbye?
171
00:06:33,788 --> 00:06:35,420
I'm afraid so.
172
00:06:35,456 --> 00:06:36,488
I'm gonna miss you.
173
00:06:36,524 --> 00:06:37,623
I'll miss you, too.
174
00:06:37,658 --> 00:06:39,458
Aww.
175
00:06:39,493 --> 00:06:41,260
That's my car. I should probably...
176
00:06:41,295 --> 00:06:43,028
Okay.
177
00:06:43,063 --> 00:06:46,077
Well... goodbye, Haley.
178
00:06:50,604 --> 00:06:51,937
Love you.
179
00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:54,745
Love you, too.
180
00:06:58,411 --> 00:06:59,411
Is he gone?
181
00:07:00,514 --> 00:07:01,980
- Yeah?
- Good.
182
00:07:02,015 --> 00:07:03,615
No one wants old fuddy-duddy dad
183
00:07:03,650 --> 00:07:05,150
ruining the big romantic moment.
184
00:07:05,185 --> 00:07:07,252
I'll be upstairs
hiding in Luke's closet.
185
00:07:09,377 --> 00:07:12,499
All right. There we go, Cal.
Chew the peanut butter.
186
00:07:12,578 --> 00:07:14,377
See? Now, with editing,
we can make it look like
187
00:07:14,413 --> 00:07:15,645
he's saying anything we want...
188
00:07:15,681 --> 00:07:17,948
numbers, the alphabet,
a joke about Jewish people.
189
00:07:17,968 --> 00:07:19,000
Pam loves those.
190
00:07:19,236 --> 00:07:20,702
Movie tricks come easy to me...
191
00:07:20,737 --> 00:07:22,971
you know, clowns
being naturals at deception.
192
00:07:23,006 --> 00:07:25,306
It's true...
a couple months into dating,
193
00:07:25,342 --> 00:07:26,775
Cam told me he was a clown,
194
00:07:26,810 --> 00:07:28,443
did a little performance for me,
195
00:07:28,478 --> 00:07:30,178
and I... I did feel deceived.
196
00:07:31,548 --> 00:07:33,681
Okay, now, when I say "action,"
197
00:07:33,716 --> 00:07:35,549
Cal's gonna throw me the ball.
198
00:07:35,585 --> 00:07:36,751
You're gonna walk backwards,
199
00:07:36,786 --> 00:07:38,252
and then in editing, I'll reverse it
200
00:07:38,287 --> 00:07:39,854
to make it look like
Cal's catching the ball
201
00:07:39,889 --> 00:07:41,088
and you're walking normally.
202
00:07:41,124 --> 00:07:42,423
Why am I even in it at all?
203
00:07:42,458 --> 00:07:44,558
Remind me of something,
Mitchell... is the best art made
204
00:07:44,594 --> 00:07:48,161
by a million voices chiming in
or one man with a single vision?
205
00:07:49,002 --> 00:07:52,370
Okay, and we lay in the piano later.
206
00:07:52,406 --> 00:07:56,608
� Twinkle, twinkle, little star �
207
00:07:56,643 --> 00:08:01,005
� How I wonder what you are �
208
00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:02,462
- I have to pee!
- He has to pee.
209
00:08:02,497 --> 00:08:03,548
- Okay, he has to pee.
- Yep.
210
00:08:03,583 --> 00:08:05,306
All right. Take five!
211
00:08:06,379 --> 00:08:07,578
Lily, this is our first cut,
212
00:08:07,613 --> 00:08:10,547
so if you see anything wonky,
let us know.
213
00:08:13,719 --> 00:08:15,119
Hello, Mommy.
214
00:08:15,154 --> 00:08:16,587
Happy birthday.
215
00:08:16,622 --> 00:08:19,556
1 plus 1 is 2.
216
00:08:19,592 --> 00:08:21,325
Simple math.
217
00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:23,556
I can catch a ball.
218
00:08:26,399 --> 00:08:28,131
How'd you miss the cat?
219
00:08:28,188 --> 00:08:30,288
I didn't. That take was your best walk.
220
00:08:35,796 --> 00:08:37,963
That is gold.
221
00:08:44,796 --> 00:08:46,262
Why the giant bottle of wine?
222
00:08:46,297 --> 00:08:48,898
It's for perspective,
and nobody's asking that question.
223
00:08:48,933 --> 00:08:51,367
- Didn't I just ask it?
- Cam.
224
00:08:51,403 --> 00:08:53,636
Yeah, I know. It's certified rotten.
225
00:08:59,777 --> 00:09:01,210
Luke.
226
00:09:01,576 --> 00:09:03,543
He's only getting 1/3 of the dog
on his first bite.
227
00:09:03,578 --> 00:09:05,545
Anything less than half,
and you're playing for second.
228
00:09:05,580 --> 00:09:09,249
Well, the good news is,
the Fourth is weeks away.
229
00:09:09,284 --> 00:09:10,450
Um...
230
00:09:10,485 --> 00:09:12,952
it's... it's today.
231
00:09:12,988 --> 00:09:15,121
Toda... June...?
232
00:09:15,157 --> 00:09:16,789
Yeah... gone.
233
00:09:18,780 --> 00:09:21,580
There you are!
It's almost time for our show.
234
00:09:21,616 --> 00:09:23,816
- Wait... what are you wearing?
- Clothes?
235
00:09:23,851 --> 00:09:24,950
I got to get back into school mode
236
00:09:24,986 --> 00:09:26,585
before I lose my edge.
237
00:09:26,621 --> 00:09:28,254
Mom, you might want to think
about rejoining life
238
00:09:28,289 --> 00:09:30,089
before your brain freezes, too.
239
00:09:30,124 --> 00:09:32,024
Yeah,
don't you worry about...
240
00:09:32,060 --> 00:09:33,092
me.
241
00:09:35,530 --> 00:09:36,695
What's that?
242
00:09:36,731 --> 00:09:38,564
Um...
243
00:09:38,599 --> 00:09:39,698
Listen.
244
00:09:40,868 --> 00:09:43,602
No dad wants to have this talk
with his son, but...
245
00:09:43,638 --> 00:09:45,538
you're just not eating enough hot dogs.
246
00:09:45,606 --> 00:09:47,306
I'm sorry.
247
00:09:47,341 --> 00:09:50,309
For some reason,
I just... I can't focus.
248
00:09:50,876 --> 00:09:52,810
I think what Luke is trying to say is,
249
00:09:52,845 --> 00:09:54,044
he's too old for this contest
250
00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:55,980
and he doesn't have the heart
to tell you.
251
00:09:56,015 --> 00:09:58,582
That's impossible. I'm an adult.
I'm still super into it.
252
00:09:58,618 --> 00:10:01,952
Yeah. My 20s should be
my prime hot-dog-eating years.
253
00:10:01,988 --> 00:10:03,721
That was just my first attempt.
254
00:10:03,756 --> 00:10:05,589
I'm gonna figure this out. Hang on.
255
00:10:05,625 --> 00:10:09,126
Despite what Alex says,
I have not lost my edge.
256
00:10:09,161 --> 00:10:11,161
Something just clicked.
257
00:10:11,792 --> 00:10:14,125
Fine. You're right... it's college.
258
00:10:14,161 --> 00:10:15,327
- It is?
- Yeah.
259
00:10:15,362 --> 00:10:17,128
I'm distracted because
I'm feeling some pressure
260
00:10:17,164 --> 00:10:18,863
on which classes to take.
261
00:10:18,899 --> 00:10:21,132
But don't worry.
I'm gonna figure it out.
262
00:10:22,769 --> 00:10:25,036
Wow. How could you tell?
263
00:10:26,300 --> 00:10:28,567
I'm just a... perceptive guy.
264
00:10:28,602 --> 00:10:30,736
I wasn't talking about Luke.
The clicking was in my jaw.
265
00:10:30,771 --> 00:10:33,739
My old TMJ injury was back,
thanks to all the training.
266
00:10:33,774 --> 00:10:35,641
I got it in college
when I bet my roommate
267
00:10:35,676 --> 00:10:38,477
I could out-Frisbee-catch
his golden retriever.
268
00:10:38,512 --> 00:10:40,379
And guess who wo... Aah!
269
00:10:42,838 --> 00:10:43,904
Aw.
270
00:10:43,939 --> 00:10:45,705
Arvin and I had the worst goodbye.
271
00:10:45,741 --> 00:10:48,175
It's been such a weird
past couple months.
272
00:10:48,210 --> 00:10:49,309
That long?
273
00:10:49,344 --> 00:10:51,244
It feels like it all started
in the hospital,
274
00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:52,445
after I told him I loved him.
275
00:10:52,481 --> 00:10:53,680
There you go.
276
00:10:53,715 --> 00:10:55,348
That's it. You pressured him.
277
00:10:55,384 --> 00:10:57,350
- Too much, too soon.
- Maybe.
278
00:10:57,386 --> 00:10:59,286
Something's not lining up.
279
00:10:59,927 --> 00:11:01,426
Okay, you're right.
280
00:11:01,462 --> 00:11:02,561
Seriously?!
281
00:11:02,596 --> 00:11:05,097
Something happened in the hospital
while Arvin was gone.
282
00:11:07,468 --> 00:11:08,534
Lost again?
283
00:11:08,569 --> 00:11:10,869
No. This time, I meant to come back.
284
00:11:10,905 --> 00:11:12,704
I have some pretty big news.
285
00:11:12,740 --> 00:11:15,073
You should probably be sitting for this.
286
00:11:15,109 --> 00:11:16,241
O...kay.
287
00:11:23,041 --> 00:11:24,073
I lied.
288
00:11:24,109 --> 00:11:25,742
I'm not married anymore.
289
00:11:25,777 --> 00:11:27,677
My wife left me for her ex-husband.
290
00:11:27,712 --> 00:11:29,145
I'm a divorc�.
291
00:11:30,348 --> 00:11:31,581
Why are you telling me this?
292
00:11:31,616 --> 00:11:34,283
Because I'm back in town,
I'm going to nursing school,
293
00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:36,352
and we might run into each other.
294
00:11:36,388 --> 00:11:37,787
I don't want to
spend the rest of my life
295
00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:39,722
pretending my wife is in the bathroom.
296
00:11:39,758 --> 00:11:42,859
Yeah, I would start to
worry about her after a while.
297
00:11:42,894 --> 00:11:44,827
Well, I'm sorry it didn't work out.
298
00:11:45,374 --> 00:11:48,275
It's okay. I don't think
we ever really got each other.
299
00:11:48,310 --> 00:11:50,844
Like, you know how when you and I
used to go to concerts,
300
00:11:50,879 --> 00:11:53,479
we used to just look
at each other and know...
301
00:11:53,499 --> 00:11:55,098
It was time for me
to get on your shoulders
302
00:11:55,134 --> 00:11:56,266
and throw my bra at the drummer.
303
00:11:56,301 --> 00:11:57,367
Yeah.
304
00:11:57,403 --> 00:11:59,336
Like, you probably
have that with Arvin, right?
305
00:11:59,371 --> 00:12:00,871
- Definitely.
- That's awesome.
306
00:12:00,906 --> 00:12:01,938
With my wife,
307
00:12:01,974 --> 00:12:05,475
she's pretty and smart and a doctor.
308
00:12:05,785 --> 00:12:07,518
But if you're always telling yourself
309
00:12:07,553 --> 00:12:08,719
how lucky you are,
310
00:12:08,754 --> 00:12:10,821
it's probably because
you're afraid to ask yourself
311
00:12:10,856 --> 00:12:12,056
how happy you are.
312
00:12:12,091 --> 00:12:13,824
Right?
313
00:12:13,859 --> 00:12:15,893
I brought ice chips.
314
00:12:15,928 --> 00:12:18,829
Or are they ice fries here?
315
00:12:19,932 --> 00:12:21,498
Ha.
316
00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:25,317
I can't believe Dylan got into my head.
317
00:12:25,352 --> 00:12:27,319
I can't believe
he got into nursing school.
318
00:12:30,557 --> 00:12:31,790
That's the biggest one they got?
319
00:12:31,825 --> 00:12:34,392
Yes, and I'm not going back again.
320
00:12:34,678 --> 00:12:36,711
Have you seen Manny? I've been
looking all over for him.
321
00:12:36,746 --> 00:12:37,912
I don't see him.
322
00:12:37,947 --> 00:12:40,281
I've been here,
busy inspecting the troops.
323
00:12:40,316 --> 00:12:42,417
Young lady, could you
straighten that hat?
324
00:12:42,452 --> 00:12:44,585
Sir, that... that horn
could use a shine.
325
00:12:44,621 --> 00:12:45,820
Haircut.
326
00:12:45,855 --> 00:12:47,755
Gloria, if this goes well,
in a couple of months,
327
00:12:47,791 --> 00:12:49,457
I'll be lighting
the town Christmas tree.
328
00:12:49,492 --> 00:12:51,626
- Take that, Dad!
- You know what is weird?
329
00:12:51,661 --> 00:12:54,162
After so many years
at Carnaval,
330
00:12:54,197 --> 00:12:56,731
to be at a parade
with people fully dressed.
331
00:12:56,766 --> 00:12:58,232
Gloria, focus.
332
00:12:58,268 --> 00:12:59,867
You've got a big role in this.
333
00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:02,881
After I cut the ribbon,
it's your job to fire off the cannon.
334
00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:05,050
That's the signal for everybody
to start marching.
335
00:13:05,085 --> 00:13:08,253
But isn't the grand marshal's job
to fire the cannon?
336
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:09,588
So the ribbon cuts itself?
337
00:13:09,623 --> 00:13:11,256
Gloria, what you don't know
about parades...
338
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:12,357
Wait, wait.
339
00:13:12,393 --> 00:13:14,926
Papi! Hello.
340
00:13:14,962 --> 00:13:17,195
Are you coming?
The parade is about to start.
341
00:13:17,231 --> 00:13:19,197
Hey! Jay!
342
00:13:19,555 --> 00:13:20,687
Hey, Tom! How's it going?
343
00:13:20,723 --> 00:13:23,790
Great, actually.
My wife and I, we're back together.
344
00:13:23,826 --> 00:13:26,593
I... Well, not exactly.
I mean, we're going on dates.
345
00:13:26,628 --> 00:13:27,861
- We're hoping to recapture...
- Yeah, yeah.
346
00:13:27,896 --> 00:13:29,062
I want to hear all about it,
347
00:13:29,098 --> 00:13:31,064
but I think the local paper
needs a photo.
348
00:13:31,100 --> 00:13:32,532
O-Of course. Yeah.
349
00:13:32,568 --> 00:13:33,934
Gloria, get in the shot.
350
00:13:33,969 --> 00:13:36,203
Gloria.
351
00:13:36,238 --> 00:13:39,072
But you promised
that you were going to come.
352
00:13:39,108 --> 00:13:40,807
Just shoot. No, go ahead... shoot it.
353
00:13:40,843 --> 00:13:42,476
What? Okay.
354
00:13:42,511 --> 00:13:43,610
No, no, not yet!
355
00:13:47,850 --> 00:13:49,483
Damn it, Gloria! It's not cutting!
356
00:13:49,518 --> 00:13:50,851
These aren't lefties!
357
00:13:52,194 --> 00:13:55,227
Grand-marshal. Take that, Grandpa!
358
00:13:55,262 --> 00:13:56,662
You must be on top of the world.
359
00:13:56,768 --> 00:13:58,034
Well, I'm putting on a brave face
360
00:13:58,069 --> 00:13:59,669
for the good of the country,
but the truth is,
361
00:13:59,704 --> 00:14:01,404
we did not get off to a great start.
362
00:14:01,439 --> 00:14:03,206
Gloria is not on her game today,
363
00:14:03,241 --> 00:14:04,307
and I'm afraid she's gonna forget
364
00:14:04,342 --> 00:14:06,609
to lead the standing ovation
after my speech.
365
00:14:06,983 --> 00:14:08,883
In fact, I'm tagging you in.
366
00:14:08,918 --> 00:14:10,918
Your cue is "pursuit of happiness."
367
00:14:10,953 --> 00:14:12,820
And if you could sell it,
a "bravo" would be nice.
368
00:14:12,855 --> 00:14:15,089
Okay. I-I know what's wrong with Gloria.
369
00:14:15,124 --> 00:14:17,158
This is a big day for you,
and she's feeling left out.
370
00:14:17,193 --> 00:14:18,225
No, that's not it.
371
00:14:18,261 --> 00:14:19,293
Damn it.
372
00:14:19,617 --> 00:14:21,350
You're not getting here till tomorrow?
373
00:14:21,386 --> 00:14:24,020
How does your name
even have the word "man" in it?
374
00:14:24,055 --> 00:14:25,087
Something just clicked.
375
00:14:25,123 --> 00:14:26,489
- Jaw trouble?
- No!
376
00:14:26,524 --> 00:14:29,592
She was just on with Manny,
who's not coming.
377
00:14:29,627 --> 00:14:32,795
Don't Gloria and Manny have
some Fourth of July tradition?
378
00:14:32,887 --> 00:14:34,120
Come to think of it,
379
00:14:34,155 --> 00:14:36,222
they share a slice of apple pie
and watch the fireworks.
380
00:14:36,257 --> 00:14:38,491
They've been doing that
every year since he was born!
381
00:14:38,526 --> 00:14:42,128
Until this year,
which is why Gloria is upset.
382
00:14:42,163 --> 00:14:43,295
- Yes!
- You're right!
383
00:14:43,331 --> 00:14:44,830
I let the sash go to my head.
384
00:14:44,866 --> 00:14:46,098
I never should have brought it!
385
00:14:46,134 --> 00:14:47,533
I can help you out,
386
00:14:47,568 --> 00:14:49,435
but you're gonna have to give up
on your little speech thing.
387
00:14:49,470 --> 00:14:51,404
Hey, kid. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Where'd you get the fireworks?
388
00:14:51,439 --> 00:14:53,606
- You a cop?
- Co...
389
00:14:53,641 --> 00:14:55,608
There's a stand in
the grocery store parking lot.
390
00:14:55,643 --> 00:14:57,109
But he's closing up.
391
00:14:57,593 --> 00:14:59,226
You get the fireworks and the apple pie.
392
00:14:59,261 --> 00:15:00,560
I will take care of Manny.
393
00:15:00,596 --> 00:15:02,496
I am back. I am really back!
394
00:15:02,531 --> 00:15:03,630
My car's blocked in.
395
00:15:03,665 --> 00:15:04,965
All this traffic, I'll never make it.
396
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,233
Look at that... right there.
397
00:15:07,302 --> 00:15:09,102
Check out! I'm a Shriner.
398
00:15:09,137 --> 00:15:11,504
Cool! Listen, I need to borrow your car.
399
00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:12,744
It's kind of an emergency.
400
00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:14,712
But my dad's excited
to see me in the parade.
401
00:15:14,748 --> 00:15:16,080
He was a Tuskegee Airman.
402
00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:18,082
Maybe the minute you stop trying so hard
403
00:15:18,118 --> 00:15:19,717
is the minute he'll start loving you.
404
00:15:19,753 --> 00:15:21,419
Now hop out of there
and go clear a path for me
405
00:15:21,454 --> 00:15:22,720
through those lawn chairs.
406
00:15:22,756 --> 00:15:24,489
- Come on. I'll help you out.
- But...I don't...
407
00:15:26,414 --> 00:15:28,547
How about this one, okay?
408
00:15:28,583 --> 00:15:30,149
Maybe we'll get lucky
and he'll be good at this.
409
00:15:30,184 --> 00:15:32,284
Okay, don't you think
this is a little hateful...
410
00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:34,320
- waterboarding a clown for a prize?
- Come on.
411
00:15:34,355 --> 00:15:36,121
You guys spray each other
with seltzer all the time.
412
00:15:36,157 --> 00:15:37,490
That's between two consenting clowns.
413
00:15:37,525 --> 00:15:39,859
All right, one second. Let's get this.
414
00:15:39,894 --> 00:15:41,660
Okay, go ahead. Okay.
415
00:15:41,696 --> 00:15:44,263
- No. No. Wrong way, wrong way.
- Okay, all right, you got to...
416
00:15:44,298 --> 00:15:45,986
- Okay, it's fine.
- You know what?
417
00:15:46,021 --> 00:15:49,502
Maybe it's just time we admit to Pam
we haven't taught him a thing.
418
00:15:49,537 --> 00:15:52,270
You know, I just...
I don't want to let him down.
419
00:15:52,359 --> 00:15:54,926
I-I've come to really enjoy
having him around.
420
00:15:54,961 --> 00:15:56,394
I know, I know. Me too.
421
00:15:56,429 --> 00:15:58,129
But it's not like
we're bad at parenting.
422
00:15:58,165 --> 00:16:00,798
I mean, Lily turned out to be
a smart, sensitive little girl.
423
00:16:00,834 --> 00:16:03,434
You're a disgrace to this family!
424
00:16:03,470 --> 00:16:05,870
I don't think you heard me.
I'm over the bridge.
425
00:16:05,906 --> 00:16:08,139
I know. Now we're just catching up.
426
00:16:08,175 --> 00:16:10,008
Sorry I didn't win.
427
00:16:10,043 --> 00:16:12,377
No, no, no. You don't
have to apologize, okay?
428
00:16:12,412 --> 00:16:13,545
No, no, you did just great.
429
00:16:13,580 --> 00:16:16,013
We're the ones
who need to do better.
430
00:16:16,198 --> 00:16:18,064
And you know what? You give great hugs.
431
00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:19,966
Hey. We taught him that.
432
00:16:20,002 --> 00:16:22,318
Well, too bad it isn't exactly a skill.
433
00:16:22,353 --> 00:16:23,970
Yeah. Or is it?
434
00:16:25,474 --> 00:16:26,873
Mutton busting?!
435
00:16:26,908 --> 00:16:27,974
Why? What is that?
436
00:16:28,010 --> 00:16:30,610
It's a sheep rodeo for kids.
437
00:16:30,646 --> 00:16:32,579
It's like you didn't even
have a childhood.
438
00:16:32,614 --> 00:16:34,047
Come on!
439
00:16:34,082 --> 00:16:37,250
The hot dog contest is about to begin.
440
00:16:37,312 --> 00:16:38,845
Sorry I'm not in worse shape for this.
441
00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:41,381
Don't worry about it, buddy.
You've had a lot on your mind.
442
00:16:41,416 --> 00:16:43,116
Any luck choosing your courses?
443
00:16:43,151 --> 00:16:44,317
Not yet.
444
00:16:44,352 --> 00:16:46,386
I don't really want
to talk about that right now.
445
00:16:46,421 --> 00:16:48,021
Maybe you're putting
too much pressure on...
446
00:16:48,056 --> 00:16:49,956
It's more than just
picking classes, okay?
447
00:16:49,991 --> 00:16:52,091
Can we just drop it and focus
on what we're doing here?
448
00:16:52,127 --> 00:16:53,993
Yeah. Of course.
449
00:16:58,325 --> 00:17:00,091
Exciting to be in the competition?
450
00:17:00,127 --> 00:17:02,561
Instead of sitting up in the bleachers,
like the last three years?
451
00:17:02,596 --> 00:17:03,728
I guess.
452
00:17:03,764 --> 00:17:05,664
Scary, sure, but it does feel good
453
00:17:05,699 --> 00:17:07,265
putting our butts on the line.
454
00:17:07,301 --> 00:17:08,466
You lose 100%
455
00:17:08,502 --> 00:17:10,368
of the hot-dog-eating contests
you don't enter.
456
00:17:10,404 --> 00:17:12,270
Dad, I know what your bumper sticker is,
457
00:17:12,306 --> 00:17:14,105
and I know
what you're trying to do here.
458
00:17:14,141 --> 00:17:15,540
But college is different.
459
00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:18,543
I mean, you screw up at community
college, you're out of options.
460
00:17:18,670 --> 00:17:20,136
You're not gonna screw it up.
461
00:17:20,172 --> 00:17:22,772
I've messed up
a lot of things in my life.
462
00:17:22,808 --> 00:17:24,140
I'm scared I'll do it again.
463
00:17:24,176 --> 00:17:25,942
- Good.
- What?
464
00:17:25,977 --> 00:17:27,210
Being scared means you care.
465
00:17:27,245 --> 00:17:30,547
Maybe... Maybe that's what's
been missing in the past.
466
00:17:30,582 --> 00:17:32,415
It's the biggest thing
I've ever tried to do.
467
00:17:32,451 --> 00:17:34,651
Contestants, ready position.
468
00:17:34,686 --> 00:17:36,252
Just take it one step at a time.
469
00:17:36,288 --> 00:17:39,022
Don't worry about the 50
to hopefully 75 hot dogs
470
00:17:39,057 --> 00:17:40,089
you're gonna eat.
471
00:17:40,125 --> 00:17:41,925
Just worry about
the dog in front of you.
472
00:17:43,765 --> 00:17:45,098
And wet the buns.
473
00:17:45,133 --> 00:17:46,266
Eat!
474
00:17:48,370 --> 00:17:49,936
Are we sure this is safe?
My gosh, yes.
475
00:17:49,972 --> 00:17:51,271
The kids love it, the sheep love it.
476
00:17:52,374 --> 00:17:54,007
And I'm pretty sure it's too late.
477
00:17:54,042 --> 00:17:56,676
- Whoa!
- Hang on, Cal! Keep hugging!
478
00:17:56,712 --> 00:17:58,445
My gosh. Pam is gonna be so excited.
479
00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:00,447
He's already busting
at a first-grade level.
480
00:18:03,718 --> 00:18:06,152
Better get an X-ray.
You got trampled pretty bad.
481
00:18:06,187 --> 00:18:08,121
Looks like that ankle's broken.
482
00:18:09,691 --> 00:18:10,890
Really, Jerry?
483
00:18:12,227 --> 00:18:14,260
Haley? What are you doing here?
484
00:18:14,877 --> 00:18:16,142
Well, you tweeted you were working,
485
00:18:16,178 --> 00:18:17,911
the water tower's in the back
of your Instagram story,
486
00:18:17,946 --> 00:18:19,045
and you just left a Yelp rating
487
00:18:19,081 --> 00:18:20,347
for that falafel place
around the corner,
488
00:18:20,382 --> 00:18:21,548
so I figured out where you were.
489
00:18:21,583 --> 00:18:23,583
Could you please stop
being so obsessed with me?
490
00:18:23,619 --> 00:18:24,684
Wait... what?
491
00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:26,719
That thing that you said
at the hospital?
492
00:18:26,725 --> 00:18:28,858
How if a person felt lucky
to be in a relationship,
493
00:18:28,893 --> 00:18:30,526
that means that
they couldn't really be happy?
494
00:18:30,562 --> 00:18:31,928
Obviously, you did that
495
00:18:31,963 --> 00:18:33,363
to try and ruin what I have with Arvin,
496
00:18:33,398 --> 00:18:35,131
because you're not over me.
497
00:18:35,166 --> 00:18:36,933
I seriously don't know whether to laugh
498
00:18:36,968 --> 00:18:39,102
or check you for a spider bite.
499
00:18:39,137 --> 00:18:40,937
I'm sorry that you're
questioning your relationship,
500
00:18:40,972 --> 00:18:42,038
but it's not my fault.
501
00:18:42,073 --> 00:18:43,740
Just admit it!
502
00:18:43,775 --> 00:18:46,009
You said that
to try and get back with me.
503
00:18:46,377 --> 00:18:48,744
Look, in my heart of hearts...
504
00:18:48,779 --> 00:18:51,013
which does not exist, by the way...
505
00:18:51,048 --> 00:18:53,849
yeah, I still think about us.
We were great.
506
00:18:53,884 --> 00:18:55,818
- Aha!
- Nuh-ha!
507
00:18:55,853 --> 00:18:57,186
You're the one who drove across town,
508
00:18:57,221 --> 00:18:58,787
paid $12 for parking
509
00:18:58,823 --> 00:19:01,523
and then an additional $2
for the yellow wristband
510
00:19:01,559 --> 00:19:04,259
for beer and medical tent access.
511
00:19:04,396 --> 00:19:06,496
It sounds like
you're the one who's into me.
512
00:19:06,532 --> 00:19:07,965
You're crazy.
513
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:09,633
There's no crime in wondering
514
00:19:09,668 --> 00:19:11,702
if we might still be good together.
515
00:19:11,737 --> 00:19:14,404
I still see us together
in my mind's eye...
516
00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:16,540
- which, by the way, doesn't exist.
- I can't hear it again.
517
00:19:18,777 --> 00:19:20,577
Diagnosis... nothing.
518
00:19:30,354 --> 00:19:31,620
How was the parade?
519
00:19:31,656 --> 00:19:33,289
I had something more important to do.
520
00:19:33,324 --> 00:19:34,490
Apple pie?
521
00:19:34,525 --> 00:19:36,392
I got a few weird looks
at the drive-through,
522
00:19:36,427 --> 00:19:40,229
but it was worth it to
help keep your tradition alive.
523
00:19:40,264 --> 00:19:42,030
You mean Manny and me?
524
00:19:42,381 --> 00:19:43,847
It's not gonna happen, because...
525
00:19:43,882 --> 00:19:45,315
I've got that covered, too.
526
00:19:47,519 --> 00:19:48,752
� Ta-da! �
527
00:19:48,787 --> 00:19:50,820
Hi, Mom! I miss you!
528
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:52,289
Jay! That's perfect!
529
00:19:52,324 --> 00:19:53,623
It's not perfect yet.
530
00:19:56,461 --> 00:19:57,994
Should we really give the dangerous job
531
00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,196
to my only smart one?
532
00:20:00,232 --> 00:20:02,032
�
533
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:07,804
Happy Fourth of July, Papi!
534
00:20:07,839 --> 00:20:10,006
I'll be home soon... before you know it.
535
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:11,241
"Thomas Jefferson,
536
00:20:11,276 --> 00:20:13,243
who was sort of
the grand marshal of his time,
537
00:20:13,278 --> 00:20:15,912
believed this country should be
a place where people are free
538
00:20:15,948 --> 00:20:18,615
to pursue happiness and a better life,
539
00:20:18,650 --> 00:20:22,519
where we can set our sights on the stars
540
00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:24,487
and, with hard work and determination...
541
00:20:25,691 --> 00:20:28,191
...make the impossible a reality.
542
00:20:28,226 --> 00:20:29,326
No!
543
00:20:29,361 --> 00:20:31,795
Because Americans
don't run from challenges.
544
00:20:31,830 --> 00:20:33,096
We embrace them.
545
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:37,233
God bless America.
546
00:20:37,269 --> 00:20:39,336
Hold for applause."
547
00:20:39,371 --> 00:20:40,904
That would've killed, right?
548
00:20:40,939 --> 00:20:42,472
Bravo!
549
00:20:42,507 --> 00:20:45,141
You know, I gave up a lot today.
You could mean it.
550
00:20:47,357 --> 00:20:49,729
Never too late to start training
for next year!
551
00:20:49,754 --> 00:20:51,769
Let's loosen up first
with some exercises.
552
00:20:51,794 --> 00:20:55,327
Lamalick. Dizzy Gillespie. Tiffy pop it.
553
00:20:55,352 --> 00:20:56,764
Hold it.
554
00:20:56,789 --> 00:20:59,285
- And out. Tiffy...
- Dad, I don't think I can ever eat
555
00:20:59,310 --> 00:21:00,508
another hot dog again.
556
00:21:01,228 --> 00:21:02,942
Yeah, I thought you might feel this way.
557
00:21:03,397 --> 00:21:05,898
- Hey, you there?
- What?
558
00:21:05,923 --> 00:21:08,440
We're having some trouble getting
these bad boys down.
559
00:21:08,465 --> 00:21:10,664
I'm not surprised, you pathetic losers.
560
00:21:10,689 --> 00:21:13,423
You two disgust me more
than most of these hot dogs.
561
00:21:13,448 --> 00:21:14,700
What's the hold up?
562
00:21:14,725 --> 00:21:17,595
Are we saving our bodies
for bikini season, ladies?
563
00:21:18,451 --> 00:21:21,055
- She's good.
- She better be. She's expensive.
564
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:26,080
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www.addic7ed.com
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