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Previously on Kidding...
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Maddy! Piano time!
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I'll take her.
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Did you hand-fuck my husband?
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So what's your
second-favorite instrument?
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ToyCo has been begging us
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for a talking Jeff doll.
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This year, we're finally
gonna give it to them.
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We're talking the hottest
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Christmas gift of the season.
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In six weeks,
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I'm gonna be dead.
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Vivian's not doing well.
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My name is Viva Lost Pages.
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What's one more Jeff?
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There's a difference
between Mr. Pickles-san
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of Japan, or Monsieur
Cornichon du France,
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or Herr Gherkin von Deutschland.
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Sayonara.
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Katto!
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Arigatou. Arigatou.
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Hai, arigatou gozaimasu.
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Kintsugi.
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Pickles-san...
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- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
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Whoa.
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I see.
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- Whoa.
- Ah.
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I'm gonna need a tutorial.
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First, what you need to do
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is just tap the icon.
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Put in the name of the
person you want to FaceTime.
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This is gonna be awesome.
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Whoa.
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Whoa.
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Whoa.
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Whoa.
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This is my friend Vivian.
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She wasn't healthy
enough to make the trip.
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She wanted to see the ocean.
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Hello, Vivian. Welcome to Los Angeles.
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Whoa.
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Whoa.
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Whoa.
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The ocean makes the
sunset look so special,
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but you make it spectacular.
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The sun is getting jealous.
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_
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You're welcome.
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Dolphins! Dolphins.
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Do you see the dolphin?
There's a dolphin.
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_
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Hey.
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We need to talk before he gets here.
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Okay.
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You first.
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I've been thinking about this a lot,
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and I feel that...
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if it would make you happier,
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for M-Maddy to take piano again,
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then she should take piano,
and I'll just deal with it.
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Oh.
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She seemed happier.
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I don't think that's true.
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Plus, she's getting so good at clarinet.
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- I am?
- Yes, honey.
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I just think she may
have liked piano better,
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and if her heart is set on piano,
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00:04:39,230 --> 00:04:41,799
then you just... you can't
change someone's heart.
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I think piano was just a phase.
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You do?
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- It was?
- Yes, sweetheart.
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I think she was confused.
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She was born a clarinet player.
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Piano's just this weird choice she made.
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She was never really committed to piano.
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She... she probably wishes
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she never took piano in the first place.
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Was I not good at piano?
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- It was awful.
- Dee Dee, from now on,
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we are strictly a clarinet family.
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I am committed
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to making this a clarinet family.
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You guys need to be more
supportive of my dreams.
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Konnichiwa.
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Konnichiwa.
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- Pikurusu-san desu.
- Maddy?
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This is Mr. Pickles-san.
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He's gonna follow Uncle
Jeff around for a few weeks
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00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:37,640
and then bring back what
he learned to Japan.
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And occasionally babysit.
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Oh, I'm... I'm sorry
Jeff couldn't host you.
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His living situation isn't optimal
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to board guests right now.
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My... English I... Mm...
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Not amazing.
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Sado-Shimi.
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Sado-Shimi?
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Sou. Sado-shimi.
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- Thank you.
- Thank you.
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Arigatou.
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_
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I have a message, all right,
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but I don't know if
they're gonna like it.
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We're ready to record
whenever you're ready.
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Okay.
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_
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_
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All of history
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travels on the human voice.
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Amplified, it can shear a man in half,
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sentence 2 million
Polish Jews to Dachau,
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or spread the Book of Matthew
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from Mount Zion to a Roman river.
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Thousands of malleable minds
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will rip this doll off the shelf,
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and I don't know if they'll see it
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as a god or gremlin.
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But...
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I won't drop nightshade
into children's ears.
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Um, so, I don't think we're allowed
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to stray from the approved script.
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I'd like to, if that's all right.
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Of course. What do you want to say?
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Allahu akbar!
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Allahu akbar?
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No, I don't like those words.
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They scare the dirt off of me.
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Well, maybe they'll be less scary
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if we explain what they mean.
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Allahu akbar is an expression
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that means a lot of different things.
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Mainly, it's used as a greeting,
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like we say "Hello," "good-bye."
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Or... "aloha"?
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That's right, Uke-Larry.
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So if we went to Hawaii,
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we could say, "Aloha-u akbar."
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Um... Sure.
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Allahu akbar.
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Forced to leave their homes at gunpoint
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and march on foot with
whatever they could carry.
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It led to the deaths of over 20,000
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Indigenous Americans.
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"Indigenous"?
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Indigenous.
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That means they were here first.
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The Cherokees called
this the Trail of Tears.
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Oops.
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That's right, Oops.
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Even governments make mistakes.
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Disconnect the teleprompters.
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I did. That's just him talking.
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Grace and I wrote him a powerful scene
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in which Snagglehorse
goes apple-picking,
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and he wrote, "Despair is an eagle."
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What does that mean?
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Without a diverse group of
meaningful relationships,
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we can't see certain populations
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as actual people,
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and we subconsciously tune them out.
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And your depression is something
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you should never be afraid to talk about
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with the people you love,
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because if they really love you...
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They'd tell you that Ronald McDonald
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wants to walk our black
youth into a food desert
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and leave them there
without their pants on,
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because he wants to charge you for water
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and he wants to charge you to pee.
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Don't expect compliments
from an insecure person.
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Too many people think this country's
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a stone-cold gray corpse,
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but it's not.
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It's a living, breathing organism.
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And we've got to keep kicking it
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to make sure it's alive.
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Yee-haw!
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For every 90 minutes
of footage we shoot,
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only 12 are borderline usable,
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and that's before we cut out
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the veiled Marxism and
songs about genocide.
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Whoo... hoo!
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The show was right there
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beneath the surface the whole time
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00:10:08,680 --> 00:10:10,610
I thought it was an end,
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00:10:10,710 --> 00:10:12,300
but it was just a rust
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oxidized over the beginning.
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Sorry. I forgot my eyeballs.
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Thank you.
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Allahu akbar.
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Good night.
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He can do whatever he wants.
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Say whatever he wants.
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Maybe I want to look in a lens
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and scream a little.
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Not that they'd let me near a camera.
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Sometimes, I... I'm Soap Scum's
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00:10:57,680 --> 00:10:59,760
limp right hand, and even then,
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00:10:59,820 --> 00:11:02,260
it's obscured by a shower curtain
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that... I created in my dorm room.
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00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:11,860
The true artist...
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is both victim and warrior.
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00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:15,120
You speak English?
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00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:16,980
I'm not speaking English.
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00:11:31,750 --> 00:11:32,780
Oh.
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00:11:39,860 --> 00:11:41,860
What makes your puppets special
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00:11:41,940 --> 00:11:44,220
is the life you put inside of them,
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00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:46,380
not the people hiding behind them.
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00:11:56,300 --> 00:11:58,420
What's your real name, Pickles-san?
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00:11:58,980 --> 00:12:01,760
Mm, who I was doesn't matter.
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00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:03,760
I'm Pickles-san now,
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always and forever.
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00:12:06,470 --> 00:12:09,250
Maybe we both like to hide.
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00:12:09,350 --> 00:12:12,040
I hide from myself all the time.
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00:12:13,020 --> 00:12:16,640
I think that's why I married Scott.
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00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:18,300
He's...
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00:12:18,380 --> 00:12:20,160
I didn't want to know myself,
219
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:23,120
so I chose a man who
could never know me.
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00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:27,080
He's the one who wanted kids.
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00:12:27,940 --> 00:12:30,240
I only exist
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00:12:30,340 --> 00:12:31,480
for other people:
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00:12:31,540 --> 00:12:34,199
Maddy and Scott and Jeff
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00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:36,010
and my dad and...
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00:12:38,560 --> 00:12:41,320
It's easy to exist for them,
226
00:12:41,420 --> 00:12:44,900
because I don't know how
to exist for myself.
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00:12:46,020 --> 00:12:47,920
I don't know how to want.
228
00:12:50,380 --> 00:12:52,850
I'd rather bleed in front of a doll
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00:12:52,950 --> 00:12:56,540
than live in front of my family.
230
00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:00,760
That's how I grew up.
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00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:06,390
We are a family who loves from afar.
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00:13:06,490 --> 00:13:08,870
But loving others from afar means
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00:13:08,970 --> 00:13:12,000
what they give you in return
is always at a distance.
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00:13:12,100 --> 00:13:14,800
I'm better from afar.
235
00:13:16,140 --> 00:13:18,490
I'm all scars up close.
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00:13:21,870 --> 00:13:23,730
You know of kintsugi?
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00:13:23,830 --> 00:13:25,010
Hm?
238
00:13:25,110 --> 00:13:26,760
It is the practice of making art
239
00:13:26,780 --> 00:13:28,039
by breaking something special
240
00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:31,340
and gluing it back together with gold.
241
00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:33,140
Your scars
242
00:13:33,260 --> 00:13:35,630
do not mean you are broken.
243
00:13:35,730 --> 00:13:37,310
They are proof you are healed.
244
00:13:37,410 --> 00:13:39,800
Breaking is healing.
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00:13:40,420 --> 00:13:42,000
Kintsugi.
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00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:44,720
Kintsugi.
247
00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:00,060
I don't want you to think
that I chose somebody
248
00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:01,460
who wouldn't be alive very long
249
00:14:01,470 --> 00:14:04,440
because I thought we were
gonna get back together.
250
00:14:04,820 --> 00:14:06,400
I didn't think that.
251
00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:08,360
Usually, when your husband
252
00:14:08,380 --> 00:14:09,520
starts dating a younger woman,
253
00:14:09,540 --> 00:14:11,200
it reminds you of your mortality.
254
00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:15,240
Not this time.
255
00:14:17,860 --> 00:14:21,350
I'm sorry if my actions
hurt you in any way.
256
00:14:22,910 --> 00:14:24,370
Hey, I found my next relationship
257
00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:27,740
in a hospital hallway.
Maybe I led by example.
258
00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:29,420
When I first saw Peter,
259
00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:31,580
it was like watching the
"Challenger" explode,
260
00:14:31,700 --> 00:14:34,220
but you knew what you needed,
261
00:14:34,260 --> 00:14:37,140
and he put so much color
back in your cheeks.
262
00:14:37,330 --> 00:14:39,460
Thank him for me.
263
00:14:39,500 --> 00:14:43,260
Jeff, you know, nine times
out of ten, when someone
264
00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:44,640
walks through that doorway,
they've just gotten
265
00:14:44,660 --> 00:14:47,880
the worst news that they
will ever get in their life.
266
00:14:51,180 --> 00:14:54,200
So it would be best for her
267
00:14:54,580 --> 00:14:57,340
if you could find a way to convey that
268
00:14:57,520 --> 00:15:01,340
her struggle is your struggle.
269
00:15:04,260 --> 00:15:06,860
We still have to deal with Thursday.
270
00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:11,820
I'd like you to come over to Dee Dee's,
271
00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:13,980
bring Peter.
272
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:16,020
You open to that?
273
00:15:16,180 --> 00:15:18,370
- Yeah.
- Mm.
274
00:15:18,470 --> 00:15:20,890
That was easier than I
thought it would be.
275
00:15:29,180 --> 00:15:31,760
Whatever you need, I'm here for you.
276
00:15:34,850 --> 00:15:37,920
The... second line of treatment pushed
277
00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:39,380
my white blood cell count
278
00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:42,160
past the point of remission.
279
00:15:45,420 --> 00:15:47,580
I'm in remission.
280
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,770
I love you so much.
281
00:15:54,230 --> 00:15:55,400
Oh, my God.
282
00:15:55,420 --> 00:15:57,920
I have so many credit cards to pay off.
283
00:16:06,140 --> 00:16:07,720
I am so, so happy
284
00:16:07,750 --> 00:16:09,920
to hear the good news about your health.
285
00:16:09,940 --> 00:16:13,479
Thank you. I'm... Vivian, by the way.
286
00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:14,740
I'm Seb.
287
00:16:25,180 --> 00:16:26,460
Arigatou.
288
00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:28,720
Put that back. No, no, we don't do that.
289
00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:33,860
Oh, man!
290
00:16:37,540 --> 00:16:39,240
I think it's a miracle.
291
00:16:39,260 --> 00:16:41,420
If she's okay, Jeff's okay.
292
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:44,640
If Jeff's okay,
everything's normal again.
293
00:16:44,860 --> 00:16:46,920
You think your sister
294
00:16:46,950 --> 00:16:49,140
would let us watch the
National Dog Show?
295
00:16:49,180 --> 00:16:50,800
I didn't know you followed the Natties.
296
00:16:50,820 --> 00:16:53,080
My nana bred two runners-up
297
00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:55,060
and one that just plain broke her heart.
298
00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:58,620
I midwifed the 2003
Best In Group terrier.
299
00:16:58,700 --> 00:17:00,700
I mean, I say that. Really, I was just
300
00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:02,620
passing through the kitchen
at the wrong time.
301
00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:04,820
What about last year's spaniel surprise?
302
00:17:05,050 --> 00:17:07,100
Jaunty, yes. Jovial, yes.
303
00:17:07,330 --> 00:17:09,580
Champion? No, sir.
304
00:17:09,740 --> 00:17:11,620
I feel the schnauzers
305
00:17:11,660 --> 00:17:13,840
are under-coifed and overlooked.
306
00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:16,720
Ever since the Scandinavians
started breeding them,
307
00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:19,660
I've been thinking,
"When is their moment?"
308
00:17:20,430 --> 00:17:21,440
Thank you.
309
00:17:21,460 --> 00:17:24,520
My dad used to have a drawer
full of jigsaw puzzles.
310
00:17:24,540 --> 00:17:27,420
Now he has a drawer full of condoms.
311
00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:29,620
Mm, my mom thinks I'm
drinking grape juice,
312
00:17:29,650 --> 00:17:31,280
but really, it's wine.
313
00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:33,200
I'm going to start the magic show.
314
00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:34,910
Okay, honey.
315
00:17:35,010 --> 00:17:36,550
I said I'm going to start
316
00:17:36,580 --> 00:17:38,840
the magic show.
317
00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:41,300
Whatever.
318
00:17:41,540 --> 00:17:43,700
Do you still say your prayers?
319
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:51,460
But... but... wait. What do you say?
320
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:54,299
Most of America eats turkey today,
321
00:17:54,300 --> 00:17:57,240
but my family eats lasagna, too,
322
00:17:57,280 --> 00:18:00,140
because I'm Italian. Do you like it?
323
00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:02,320
Arigatou.
324
00:18:02,570 --> 00:18:05,080
You know,
325
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:08,560
I had the best blowjob of my life
326
00:18:08,580 --> 00:18:11,420
on the bullet train to Kyoto.
327
00:18:13,860 --> 00:18:15,840
Sucky, sucky. Train, train.
328
00:18:19,540 --> 00:18:21,060
- Hm?
- Fellatio.
329
00:18:21,140 --> 00:18:22,180
Yes.
330
00:18:23,420 --> 00:18:25,080
Here's to fellatio.
331
00:18:25,140 --> 00:18:27,340
Blowjob.
332
00:18:27,420 --> 00:18:29,300
Show me the charcoal under-rub
333
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:31,480
of a Swedish show dog,
and I will show you
334
00:18:31,500 --> 00:18:33,700
the infinite potential
of canine husbandry.
335
00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:36,100
That's right, Schnauzer.
Trot that circle.
336
00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:38,780
Alvin-Britches Dropbottom Delight
337
00:18:38,790 --> 00:18:42,080
did not come to play with
you haughty bitches!
338
00:18:45,660 --> 00:18:47,760
Vivian keeps talking about us
339
00:18:47,780 --> 00:18:49,600
zip-lining through Honduras
340
00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:51,060
and seeing the fish rain.
341
00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:52,810
You will never forget the first time
342
00:18:52,820 --> 00:18:55,320
you get kamikaze'd by a red snapper.
343
00:18:55,340 --> 00:18:57,740
Sorry, Pickles-san.
344
00:18:57,820 --> 00:18:59,280
Deirdre spent a lot of time in Belize,
345
00:18:59,300 --> 00:19:00,940
working with local populations.
346
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:03,600
Ah. I mean, I've only
used my passport once.
347
00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:05,380
The pain meds are cheaper in Toronto.
348
00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:07,160
Oh!
349
00:19:07,180 --> 00:19:09,060
So when are you guys thinking of going?
350
00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:11,440
I was thinking midsummer, right, Viv?
351
00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:12,759
- Mm-hm.
- Could I come?
352
00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:14,500
Will, sometimes, couples like
353
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:16,480
to travel together. Alone.
354
00:19:16,540 --> 00:19:18,660
No, no, no. The more, the merrier.
355
00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:20,130
I want to go. We have never
356
00:19:20,150 --> 00:19:22,179
taken a vacation as a family.
357
00:19:22,180 --> 00:19:23,779
We should talk about
this closer to June.
358
00:19:23,780 --> 00:19:25,360
I want to go to Costa Rica.
359
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:26,619
I guess all of us could go.
360
00:19:26,620 --> 00:19:29,460
Oh, whoa, I'm in...
you know, if invited.
361
00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:30,819
And Scott could totally plan this.
362
00:19:30,820 --> 00:19:32,660
My husband is a corporate travel agent.
363
00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:34,100
This would be his Olympics.
364
00:19:34,140 --> 00:19:35,660
Logistics are my aphrodisiac.
365
00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:37,340
What if I pay for the whole trip?
366
00:19:37,420 --> 00:19:39,019
The Pickles take Honduras.
367
00:19:39,020 --> 00:19:40,140
You don't have to do that.
368
00:19:40,170 --> 00:19:41,420
Could we stay in another place
369
00:19:41,460 --> 00:19:42,620
with chocolate-covered fruit?
370
00:19:42,630 --> 00:19:43,630
Can I room with Grandpa?
371
00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:45,520
We make T-shirts for everybody.
372
00:19:45,620 --> 00:19:47,580
"Out of the Way: Pickles on Vacay."
373
00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:48,980
I'll ask Derrell to plan tomorrow.
374
00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:50,550
Seb, this many people,
375
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:52,039
different last names, hotel rooms?
376
00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:53,250
Let me handle this.
377
00:19:53,260 --> 00:19:55,360
I'm going alone.
378
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:00,600
You're right.
379
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:02,720
We don't have to take the whole family.
380
00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:05,180
It can just be us.
381
00:20:07,300 --> 00:20:09,720
Um, no. I was gonna tell you later.
382
00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,599
I bought a ticket, and
I'm going next week,
383
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:13,200
by myself.
384
00:20:20,460 --> 00:20:22,370
I'm sorry, Jeff.
385
00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:28,420
Just... everything that...
386
00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:30,720
... changed when everything changed,
387
00:20:30,740 --> 00:20:33,150
and I get to start over.
388
00:20:33,250 --> 00:20:35,350
I look at you,
389
00:20:35,450 --> 00:20:37,950
and I see the man who saved my life.
390
00:20:39,270 --> 00:20:42,640
But I also see cancer
391
00:20:42,740 --> 00:20:45,320
and... death.
392
00:20:45,420 --> 00:20:47,890
I look at you, you remind me of death.
393
00:20:51,550 --> 00:20:54,060
And I have this gift of time, and,
394
00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:57,060
you know, this...
395
00:20:57,160 --> 00:21:00,260
us... it made sense
396
00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:02,350
when time was running out.
397
00:21:05,770 --> 00:21:09,040
Now that I can...
398
00:21:09,140 --> 00:21:10,170
plan ahead, I'm sorry.
399
00:21:10,180 --> 00:21:11,600
Those plans don't involve you.
400
00:21:11,620 --> 00:21:14,080
I'm sorry. They can't.
401
00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:21,540
I understand.
402
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:25,540
I'm...
403
00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:27,280
happy for you.
404
00:21:31,450 --> 00:21:33,920
Fuck you!
405
00:21:34,650 --> 00:21:36,160
Yeah, fuck you!
406
00:21:36,180 --> 00:21:37,300
Fuck you, cunt!
407
00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:38,940
- Yeah, fuck you!
- Fuck you.
408
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:41,440
- Fuck you!
- Fuck you!
409
00:21:41,540 --> 00:21:42,680
Fuck you!
410
00:21:42,700 --> 00:21:43,880
Fuck you, fuck you,
411
00:21:43,900 --> 00:21:45,080
fuck you, fuck you!
412
00:21:45,100 --> 00:21:46,530
Fuck you!
413
00:21:46,630 --> 00:21:49,410
Fuck you! There's no chemo for dengue!
414
00:22:53,030 --> 00:22:54,640
The line
415
00:22:54,700 --> 00:22:57,940
is "Welcome to Pickle Barrel Falls,
416
00:22:58,040 --> 00:22:59,560
Viva Lost Pages.
417
00:22:59,700 --> 00:23:01,490
Your new forever home."
418
00:23:04,500 --> 00:23:06,820
Just...
419
00:23:07,010 --> 00:23:09,580
give me a second.
420
00:23:09,700 --> 00:23:11,980
I can do it.
421
00:23:17,060 --> 00:23:19,440
We don't have to do this today.
422
00:23:20,740 --> 00:23:23,260
Mm...
423
00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:28,780
We don't have to keep Viva Lost Pages
424
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:32,340
around if it's just gonna
dredge up painful memories.
425
00:23:35,340 --> 00:23:38,280
A woman is gonna live.
426
00:23:38,380 --> 00:23:42,120
That's nothing short of spectacular.
427
00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:54,840
I don't really have an
excuse to come in here,
428
00:23:54,860 --> 00:23:57,500
but... you can't understand me anyway,
429
00:23:57,520 --> 00:23:59,460
unless I'm holding a puppet.
430
00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:01,660
I just...
431
00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:22,470
May I tell you the sad and sordid tale
432
00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:24,180
of a queen enslaved by the demon
433
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:25,420
locked in her vulva,
434
00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:27,300
and the warrior with a steel penis...
435
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:29,960
whoosh... who destroyed this demon?
436
00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:31,420
Yes, please.
437
00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:33,300
Have you ever met a new friend
438
00:24:33,490 --> 00:24:35,980
that feels like an old friend?
439
00:24:36,180 --> 00:24:38,180
This...
440
00:24:39,020 --> 00:24:41,060
is Viva.
441
00:24:41,260 --> 00:24:43,959
A new friend. And Viva,
442
00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:46,560
this is Ennui and Maestro Fermata,
443
00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:48,330
your new friends.
444
00:24:48,430 --> 00:24:50,460
They'll probably feel like old friends.
445
00:24:50,630 --> 00:24:53,220
Do you have any books on tartines?
446
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:54,500
Or Mozart?
447
00:24:54,580 --> 00:24:56,340
I feel lost.
448
00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:58,580
You're not lost. You're home,
449
00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:01,190
and you can stay in Pickle Barrel Falls
450
00:25:01,290 --> 00:25:02,599
for as long as you want.
451
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:04,160
- All done?
- Thanks.
452
00:25:04,170 --> 00:25:06,399
Forever?
453
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:09,520
That's a long time, but sure.
454
00:25:09,700 --> 00:25:12,200
You get to stay forever.
455
00:25:15,060 --> 00:25:17,160
The great warrior fought his way
456
00:25:17,260 --> 00:25:20,500
guard by guard until he made his way
457
00:25:20,540 --> 00:25:24,020
to the queen's tower.
458
00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:26,420
But just before she could embrace him...
459
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:31,480
The king arrived on his horse.
460
00:25:31,690 --> 00:25:33,070
Wait, how are you...
461
00:25:33,170 --> 00:25:34,616
Please, don't touch it.
462
00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:36,200
The old ruler explained
463
00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:38,420
the door to the castle
had always been open,
464
00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:41,660
and it was the queen who
had locked herself away.
465
00:25:43,140 --> 00:25:45,380
- Where's warrior going?
- Home.
466
00:25:45,460 --> 00:25:46,919
The great warrior understood
467
00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:49,360
this was a demon for the queen to slay.
468
00:25:49,420 --> 00:25:51,840
Anything else would be infidelity.
469
00:25:52,030 --> 00:25:54,680
The warrior and the queen
470
00:25:54,780 --> 00:25:57,180
are not meant to be.
471
00:25:57,400 --> 00:25:59,120
Will you stay through Christmas?
472
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:04,260
What the actual fuck?
473
00:26:09,580 --> 00:26:12,830
Just... keep editing the stuff out
474
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:13,880
that we don't want to see.
475
00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:16,419
Until when? The show
is seven minutes long.
476
00:26:16,420 --> 00:26:18,240
And it's PBS. It's not like we could
477
00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:19,820
pad it with commercial breaks.
478
00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:21,470
And what happens when he goes live?
479
00:26:21,510 --> 00:26:22,510
How do we stop him
480
00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:24,120
from puking his off-brand lunacy
481
00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:25,620
all over his shoes, and your shoes,
482
00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:26,780
- and our shoes?
- Don't worry.
483
00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:27,876
We're not gonna let that happen.
484
00:26:27,900 --> 00:26:29,500
Oh, so he's not gonna host it this year?
485
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:32,019
Oh, fuck.
486
00:26:32,020 --> 00:26:34,340
Oh, fuck!
487
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:35,766
The National Tree Lighting.
488
00:26:35,790 --> 00:26:37,700
I think it's on CBS this year.
489
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:41,060
That'll be what, 10
million people watching?
490
00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:43,740
How did December get here so quickly?
491
00:26:48,570 --> 00:26:50,150
It's not about the money.
492
00:26:50,250 --> 00:26:52,640
It's never been about
the money, Gregory.
493
00:26:52,740 --> 00:26:55,300
It's about doing the right thing.
494
00:26:55,620 --> 00:26:57,600
$42,000 is a lot of debt
495
00:26:57,640 --> 00:26:58,960
for a woman in her thirties.
496
00:26:59,100 --> 00:27:03,010
She has medical bills.
This'll help her heal.
497
00:27:03,110 --> 00:27:04,890
As your accountant, I can only recommend
498
00:27:04,900 --> 00:27:06,490
what's fiscally responsible.
499
00:27:06,590 --> 00:27:08,240
Maybe we just pay off the Discover card.
500
00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:11,420
Just pay it all, please.
501
00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:14,020
She's lucky to have a friend like you.
502
00:27:14,120 --> 00:27:16,040
We all are.
503
00:27:17,490 --> 00:27:18,520
Good-bye.
504
00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:26,920
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
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