Original subtitles

I'm Kathryn McSorely-Jodell;

my husband, Walt Jodell, and I are checking in.

I'm Harry. I'm the propri... I run the place.

_

Hey!

- Happy Birthday, Walter. - Cheers!

Margaret and Miguel aren't coming.

What? No. Since when?

- What was that?! - It's Miguel!

That's not Margaret.

- I'm Jandice. Hi, you guys! - Hi.

Your friends are so funny.

What is happening, here?

Wow, this is gonna be so fun.

You know what, it might not be fun.

It might not be fun at all.

- Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com --

Hut!

- Sol! - Ow!

I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it!

Come on, come on, come on, come on!

Yes! Yes! Yes!

And ready? Go!

Yay!

Okay, stop doing that. Ready? Go.

Yay!

Hike!

One, one thousand. Two, one thousand.

Three, one thousand. Four, one thousand.

Ah!

Oh!

Orvis!

- Oof! - You all right, kid?

- Oh, my baby! - I'm fine.

How old are you? What day is it?

- What color is Mommy's hair? - It changes all the time.

Oh, he's agitated. Do not move.

Lie down. You could have a concussion.

Do you understand? Don't move your head.

I'm really sorry.

I play rugby in a semiprofessional league,

and the instincts just sort of took over.

I-I just don't get it. He wasn't even playing.

What's the helmet for?

- He's fine. - Is he?

Yeah. I mean, he's smiling.

He doesn't have any bruises.

What do you say we get back in the game?

Please just walk away from me.

I'm gonna choose not to take this personally

- right now. - Hey, you shouldn't, baby.

- This is not about you. - It's not about you.

- It's because of you. - Hey.

- I got him. - Y'all sure are a weak lot.

You're lucky me and my beautiful wife

didn't take one of our famous three-day hikes.

- I don't like to walk fast. - So Harry says

the nearest hospital is 30 minutes away.

But I'm happy to drive you.

Well, by that, I mean Nan's happy to drive you

'cause I don't have a license.

I'm a drinker.

Orvis!

Orvis, come on.

Come here.

For the love of God, someone help me!

My son is injured!

- Where is everyone? - Hello?

- Help! - Jimmy!

Hey, Harry.

What's up?

We need to see a doctor.

Oh, man, I just feel so bad

that I ruined her whole plan.

No, it's okay, baby.

It's just, it's tough to watch Walt

get knocked around like that all day.

He's such a good guy, you know?

Hey, hey, hey. Come on, guys, come on.

Kathryn's not that bad.

She's tough, she's bitter,

she's hot with rage, but she's not bad.

She loves intensely.

Isn't that something to admire?

And she's very, very loyal.

Oh, isn't that where we passed that cute town?

That town was so cute.

Do you think they call it Cute City?

Yeah, and it had

that cute bar.

How fun would it be to go to that cute bar, you guys?

- Yeah. - Oh, man, that would be

- pretty cute. - Are you saying

you don't want to go to the hospital?

I mean, it's not like we're gonna be of any use at the ER.

I always get kicked out of those places

- when I try to heal. - Yeah, yeah.

Hey, hey, you know what? The best thing that we can do

right now is to be as relaxed

and refreshed as possible for when they return.

Right, hon?

Honestly, I just need a drink.

Whatever's gonna get me out of this car.

All right, new plan! Yes!

- Whoo-hoo! - All right! Yeah!

It's not a laser, is it?

His reflexes are all good. Sight's clear.

I honestly think he just took a tumble.

But he's a tough guy. Aren't you, Orvis?

Don't agree if you don't agree.

No, you're not, Orvis.

No, he's not... he's not tough.

Are you sure? Is there...

is there any kind of MRI?

Well, he's not complaining of any specific injury.

I meant a full-body scan.

I don't even know what that would mean.

I think, uh, what the lovely Dr. Chang

is saying is that, uh, Orvis is fine, right?

You know, it's been scary,

but he's really and truly fine, so...

Have we got any sense of what's happening

with his internal organs?

I think if there were any kind of rupture,

he would be expressing more pain when I palpate him.

Should I be continuing to home palpate?

I mean, I can't legally...

- Tell you not to. - That tickles.

Last question: how should I be continuing

to monitor him over this next period of time?

I think if you see any signs of concussions

or he stops saying, "I'm fine," repeatedly.

But he really is fine.

Well, thank you so much.

And... and you, too, Jimmy.

Appreciate it.

Well, I think that Dr. Chang

is a real sweetie.

You know who isn't sweet?

Jandice. She's not very sweet at all.

What do you mean?

I think she's dangerous. She's a threat.

She has a messy approach to human interaction.

Orvis, lie down.

Come on, buddy.

I feel as though someone invited a coyote

to your birthday party.

And I don't care personally,

but I don't want her to ruin the whole party.

It was an accident, honey.

And Orvis saved us a touchdown.

- Right, buddy? - She's nice.

She's nice.

So...

I say we just let it go

and we just start afresh, you know?

I don't know. She freaks me out.

Where even is she, anyway?

- What is this gonna be, huh? - Whoa.

It looks good from the outside.

This is so much better than the hospital.

They have wings.

Hey, you think those pretzels are free?

Holy shit, Carleen, maybe they have napkins too.

Uh, hello, miss.

Oh, my darlin'.

Yee-ha. My name is Clementine.

You're about to get the best meal in the west.

No Wi-Fi, no laptops. What can I get you?

I got this, you guys.

Do you all do jelly doughnut shots?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, we do.

You're my kind of gal.

You're my kind of gal, gal.

- You look so familiar. - I'm heavily featured

in much of Nan Goldin's early work.

- Fuck, that's it. - Mm-hmm.

I'm sorry, what's a jelly doughnut?

Oh, it's a shot.

Equal parts Chambord and RumChata.

Oh, that's amazing,

and I haven't heard any of those things.

- Two rounds. - Um, do you have

- a Dr Pepper for him? - Uh, don't listen to her.

I'm fine.

What? I know plenty of people

in program who have a drink once in a while.

I love anything that looks like pie.

There we go.

Whoo-hoo.

All right, well, vamos. Vamos, vamos.

Ah, holy shit!

Holy shit, that tastes exactly like a jelly fucking doughnut.

Oh, my God, you're totally right.

What kind of magic is this? She's a witch!

Told you!

You did. You did.

Are you not gonna do a shot?

I don't want one.

That is rude.

Come on... hey, Sol.

- Have one of these. - Uh...

Okay. What?

I got some wires

I think I could attach to your chest.

- Are you still here? - I'm plummeting.

Now that I've taken care of my son,

- my body is shutting down. - Ma'am, you can't just...

No, you don't understand.

Five years ago, I had my tenth procedure

under anesthesia. Complete hysterectomy.

Hence her phantom periods.

- Her what? - Different hospitals

call it different things. Scoot over.

Any kind of stress can lead to inflammation,

which affects my tissue issues

and also my general mood.

We can't run any tests on you.

You can't run any tests on you.

We'd have to do intake if you want testing.

Fine.

Gosh darn American medical system...

and I'm privileged enough to have health insurance.

I can't even get the tests I need.

You know what? I'm gonna get the doctor.

Oh, thank you.

Ow!

- Walt, my shoulder. - Sorry, honey.

Where the eff is everybody?

Ventana, window.

- Puerta. - Door.

- Hey! - It's Walt. It's Walt.

I gotta get it. I gotta get this.

- All right. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Do you want us to let you out?

- Oh, okay. - We can let you out.

- Easy does it. - All right.

Tell him we can get there if he needs us.

Hello?

George, hi.

Walt, how is Orvis?

Yeah, it's just a little jostle.

- He's fine, my brother. - Pain is relative.

- You know what I mean? - Oh, thank God.

Really, thank God.

That is great news.

Where are you?

Uh...

we're at a... a Howard Johnson's...

uh, Hojo's. It sucks.

Listen, brother, could you get the steaks for dinner?

- Kathryn's kind of freaking out. - Steaks.

Yeah, steaks. Juicy steaks.

One per person. They're at the store, McCall's.

They're all ordered and paid for.

McCall's, one per person.

- On it, my brother! - It's not even practical.

But it's not that bad if there's lube.

Hey, if you're gonna... Can I...

Okay, I'll talk to you later.

I said I was at a Hojo's.

Why did I lie? Why did I lie?

Hojo's doesn't even exist anymore.

You know what's not a lie?

How good these jelly doughnut shots are.

It's official.

I like you.

- Oh... - Oh?

And Orvis is alive.

Told you, baby. Corazón.

I wanna go for a fucking walk and explore this town.

- Who is with me? - I am in.

I am in, too, baby.

I wanna explore the town, and then I wanna explore

- your body. - Okay, I'm out.

Ugh, I wanna move my legs.

- I wanna walk. - Yes, use those sexy

- motherfucking lady walkers. - How's it going?

- What's doing? - I am gonna get

- some bourbon in me. - Oh, uh,

Nurse?

One bourbon, neat.

Done.

Wow.

Thanks a million, Little Chocolate.

So...

How's work?

Uh, it's great.

- What are you having? - Ro... rosé.

Oh, yeah. I don't like rosé.

Thank you, sir.

That's more like it.

Après vous, mademoiselle.

This is magic.

- Magic. - Thank you, thank you.

We're very proud of our collection.

Oh, man, I-I used to hate antique shops

when Margaret dragged me, like, to buy a pair of stools

or a fucking accent pillow, but this fucking cool.

Look at these lederhosen.

- Nice. - You'd be such a sexy baby

in some sexy baby lederhosen.

Oh, can I see this ring?

Oh, sure. Absolutely.

- Wow. - Let me get that for you.

That's opal and tourmaline.

- Take a look. - Gorgeous.

Oh, my God, tourmaline.

I love tourmaline.

What is the provenance of the ring?

I'm sorry, the what?

The provenance.

The... the history.

Yeah, I-I know what it means.

I'm... I'm just so taken by your accent.

Oh, thank you very much.

You're a little bit more... Yeah.

Yes, of course.

Anyway, that has a very interesting story.

That... that ring was given to Liz Phair

by John Cusack.

Shut up.

Liz Phair literally got me through college.

I mean, not that I finished, but the part I did get through,

she got me through.

- She's spectacular. - Wow.

- And that is beautiful on you. - So, uh...

how much is that pretty piece?

That's, uh, $5,000.

Okay.

Wow, okay.

And not even a diamond.

- It's perfect for you. - It's perfect.

- It's perfect. - You are perfect.

I'm gonna find something perfect for you back there.

Okay?

Nice.

Uh, hey.

Hi.

What up?

Nothing much.

Just waiting for my dad.

He and his friends are drunk.

They'll probably have an orgy.

You?

Just waiting for my brother.

He's buying weed with his friend Stu.

I'm not gonna smoke any, but I don't care

- if they do it around me. - Yeah, weed sucks.

I don't need a drug to eat a lot.

My name's Tyler.

Cool, cool.

Sol. Solomon.

Isn't that a boy's name?

You have a boy's name.

I'm not gay.

You know.

Yeah.

Neither am I.

God, flex that muscle!

Oh, God!

Yeah, um...

Thank you for, uh, helping me try on these pants.

They look great.

- Oh, God. - Hey, wait.

Fuck, I-I don't have my wallet.

Oh, God, that sucks.

Fuck.

I took it out of my pocket to take my pants off

because they're stretch.

Well, I'm gonna go check on the others at the bar.

Oh, wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

What, you... you don't wanna stay and do this thing with me?

No, you got this.

That was so hot in there.

Your dick felt more like a cock today.

- You know what I mean? - Fuck.

- You got this. - You think so?

- Yes. - I got it. I got it.

- Yum. - I got it.

Okay.

Oh, uh, great.

You're still here. Um...

look, I-I just wanted to say, sir,

I'm sorry.

You should be sorry.

That was visceral and revolting.

I don't even normally work here.

This is Gerald's thing.

I stay home with the dogs.

This is not a gay beach in Puerto Vallarta.

I know.

I know, I... hey, I don't know why I did it.

Except I'm in this new relationship, and...

and I have very little control over my actions.

I-I guess it's because I'm going through

this very hard divorce,

and whenever she desires me,

it makes me feel like I-I have value again.

My house was... was dark.

And she came in and turned the lights on again.

Sir, I just wiped

your semen off the floor with a paper towel.

What can I do to make it up to you?

I'll do anything. Of course,

I will pay for any...

damage to the property

that our sex caused.

She loved that ring.

You gotta let it go, and you just gotta blow on.

You know?

- Hey! - Hi.

- Oh, okay. - Sit on down.

Hi.

Why do you have that look?

Uh, Joe's weird.

I don't think he should be drinking.

Why? What'd he do?

He called me Lil' Chocolate.

What?

He did what?

I was helping him get a drink at the bar,

and then he said, "Thanks a million,

Lil' Chocolate."

Are you fucking serious?

Oh, that guy is fucking asking for it.

- I'm gonna fuck him up. - Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Hey, hey, hey.

Half my friends send me black thumbs-up emojis.

Who... who sends you those emojis?

- It doesn't matter. - No, I want fucking names.

- No. - Who sends you black emojis?

Don't say anything, okay?

Okay.

- You sure? - Yeah.

I love you so much.

Can we go yet?

Soon. We can go soon.

Why not now?

'Cause we're waiting to be discharged.

And we're also waiting to see if either Orvis

or Mommy loses consciousness.

I feel fine.

I feel good.

That's the weird thing about life, Orvie.

You can feel fine but also know that you are

a ticking time bomb.

Your insides don't match your outsides.

It's the scariest part of being human.

I never want my Orvis to experience it.

Not once.

Okay?

You seem fine too.

I'm not, though.

I'm not fine.

I'll struggle through... I'll... I'll live

a vaguely normal life... but I am not fine.

Physically... I mean, emotionally,

I'm... I'm totally great...

It's your daddy's birthday.

And... ha... we have to be strong for Daddy.

Hmm?

♪ Shake it up ♪

♪ Break the bubble ♪

♪ Break it up ♪

♪ Pour some sugar on me ♪

♪ Ooh, in the name of love ♪

Hi, little boy.

Did your doggy run away?

Hey, Jandy.

Dandy-dandy.

- How's it going? - Uh...

it's going great.

It's the best day of my life.

I'm not sad. I'm happy.

Welcome to Jandy's.

May I take your order?

- Uh... - What are you coming off of?

What? Nothing.

What... noth... Oxy.

Oh, fuck.

You got caught up in that whole conspiracy?

I know, right?

The fucking Sackler family

runs the entire pharmaceutical industry,

and they convince these doctors to prescribe

this heavy fucking narcotic for basic injuries.

- Yes. - It's such a dark part

of American history.

But yeah, I'm on them.

I just get mine from dealers.

Mm, smart.

Do you want one?

Want one what?

No... What?

- Do you want it? - No, I...

God damn it. I shouldn't.

- I shouldn't. I shouldn't. - Well, here's what I suggest.

- You're feeling edgy... - Yeah.

You should journal...

And you should take the fucking edge off.

I fucking forgot my journal.

Open your mouth.

Stick out your tongue.

♪ In the name of love ♪

- ♪ Pour some sugar on me ♪ - Ooh, whoo!

Okay, go.

♪ Come on, fire me up ♪

♪ Pour your sugar on me ♪

That'll take the edge off.

- You know? - Take the edge off?

Jandy, I don't want to take the fucking edge off.

I prefer to feel absolutely fucking nothing.

All right? Like I'm frozen in ice.

That is so smart.

I think I'm gonna join you.

Where the fuck did you come from?

Oakland.

- Hello. - Holy fuck.

That was a good one.

- Yeah. - What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What am I doing? What are you doing?

- I was taking a shit. - Oh.

What is this, one of your bits?

No, it's not a fucking bit.

I just heard that you called

my long-term partner...

the love of my life, Nina-Joy...

Lil' Chocolate.

Did I? I don't...

You don't even fucking remember.

Hey, man, listen,

I'm a nickname guy, you know?

I come up with nicknames for people.

George... What's up, George Bush?

And you think Lil' Chocolate is an appropriate nickname

for a beautiful woman of color?

Is that what you think?

Listen, man, I don't...

I... hey, I didn't... I didn't mean anything by it,

so it's just... it's not...

Okay... whoa! What the...

You didn't mean anything by it?

You didn't mean anything by it?

I guess the KKK doesn't mean anything by it either, huh?

They're just wearing their sheets 'cause they're shy, right?

Oh, you know what?

Dude, take it easy, all right?

Don't forget that I was also married

to a beautiful black woman.

At least I was until she died a tragic death.

Oh, so that makes it okay, huh?

I bet you use black emojis, too, don't you, motherfucker?

- Huh? - What?

- Oh, yeah. - No, you know what?

- Now that I think about it... - Yeah?

I didn't call her Lil' Chocolate.

Right, of course you didn't.

I called her Little Chocolate.

It's totally different, man.

Are you serious right now? Are we still doing a bit?

I'm serious as a fucking heart attack, man!

So here's the deal: you are not going to speak

to Nina-Joy for the rest of the trip.

No hello, no, "Hey, did you see

the new episode of 'Young Sheldon'?"

- Fucking nothing. - Don't even watch that show.

I don't know if you're aware of this... or maybe your head

is just that far up your own ass...

but this country is in the middle

of a fucking race war, and you are either

a part of the problem or part of the solution.

And I am diagnosing you

as part of the fucking problem.

Okay.

- Okay. - Okay.

Okay, you know what?

I feel like this is an overreaction,

- and so I'm gonna walk away. - Yeah. Yeah.

And I am not afraid to come at you

with my physical body, my friend.

Okay, you fucking wouldn't.

Oh, I sure as Shelly would.

And by the way, I boom-opped the Robert Downey Jr. episodes

of "Ally McBeal," so I'm pretty sure I know

what drug withdrawal looks like.

So enjoy rocking back and forth

and shitting your pillow,

you fucking animal.

Tee-hee!

Back when I was drinking, I had this pesky habit

of slipping on my own vomit.

Tale as old as time.

We'd better get back before sundown.

Nan's got a bad case of nyctophobia

with a side of achluophobia.

What are... what are those things?

That'd be fear of the dark

followed by a fear of a second World War II,

stemming from her belief in reincarnation

and her strong sense that Hitler's on his way back to us.

Okay, got it.

Please don't mention those things to Kathryn.

I won't.

You really look out for her, don't you?

Kathryn's sensitive.

To ghosts?

What? No, I-I mean emotionally.

Oh, I understand.

Mine's quite sensitive as well.

Sometimes I feel like her grief could swallow the whole world.

Uh, grief over what?

Uh, I never asked.

That's the thing about women.

They're mysterious.

They're like bats or night hedgehogs

or something.

They're only seen when they want to be seen,

and other than that, you're just living in their world.

And sometimes we don't even understand what kind

of world that is.

You watch out for yourself.

Okay?

And never, ever put down the knife.

The knife?

The knife.

Is that a metaphor or...

Yeah.

You know what? We gotta get out of here.

- You feel good, brother? - Sure.

I like you.

You know, I'd really rather give her the front.

I'm trying to help you out, Walt.

I want you to claim your power.

Now, she's gonna sit in the back,

and she's gonna like it.

And tonight you'll see... you got yourself a good girl.

- Okay. - Okay.

The knife.

Oh, God.

This is so scary.

It's getting so hairy to navigate out there.

It's fucking pitch-black.

And where are even Carleen and Joe?

I can't see their car.

Dead in a ditch would be rad.

Oh, fuck!

What?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, no.

It's, uh... yeah. I know we're in a dark forest,

but if anybody sees a Ralphs...

Fuck Ralphs.

- I was banned from Ralphs. - Really?

Apparently you can't sell your own yogurt.

- Oh. - Is everything okay?

I forgot the steaks.

One steak per person.

That's what they asked for, and I got...

No steaks per person!

Kathryn's gonna fucking kill me.

Yeah.

This is tomorrow's breakfast.

I mean, just in case you're wondering.

I'm never getting that money back for the steaks.

Has anyone bothered to Venmo me yet?

Kathryn, I don't have reception here.

Exactly, which is why I asked everyone

to do it before we came.

I'm not feeling very well.

Wasn't this the best day ever, you guys?

So fun.

Ugh.

- Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com --