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1
00:00:16,408 --> 00:00:24,806
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
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00:00:24,864 --> 00:00:27,784
I am so sorry. I don't know how this
could have happened.
3
00:00:29,024 --> 00:00:30,224
Come in!
4
00:00:30,304 --> 00:00:33,064
You wanted to see me, Alison?
Yes. Sit down, Sally.
5
00:00:35,264 --> 00:00:39,264
The new member wellbeing assessment
letters you sent out last week...
6
00:00:39,344 --> 00:00:42,064
Oh, yes! Did they all go out OK?
They all went out.
7
00:00:42,144 --> 00:00:43,624
It is certainly not OK.
8
00:00:43,704 --> 00:00:46,624
I have never been
so insulted in all my life!
9
00:00:46,704 --> 00:00:52,464
"After studying all the information,
we have classed your physical rating
as C3. Please see table below."
10
00:00:52,544 --> 00:00:56,504
And we go to the table below,
and next to C3 are the words,
11
00:00:56,584 --> 00:00:59,984
"You are clinically a beast."
12
00:01:00,064 --> 00:01:02,264
Yes. This is unbelievable!
13
00:01:02,344 --> 00:01:04,584
What do you mean "yes"?
14
00:01:04,664 --> 00:01:07,584
You were out of the office
and I rang you to say,
15
00:01:07,664 --> 00:01:12,664
"Mrs Wilde's rating... Ms Wilde! " Ms
Wilde's rating went off the scale.
16
00:01:12,744 --> 00:01:17,464
"What should I class her as?"
And you said, "Clinically, a beast."
17
00:01:19,104 --> 00:01:21,864
"Obese." Not "a beast."
18
00:01:21,944 --> 00:01:24,384
I wouldn't tell you to grade
someone as a beast.
19
00:01:24,464 --> 00:01:27,024
Well, I did think it was
odd at the time,
20
00:01:27,104 --> 00:01:29,864
but I could have sworn you said,
"a beast."
21
00:01:29,944 --> 00:01:31,984
Obese! Obese!
22
00:01:32,064 --> 00:01:34,664
The woman is obese!
All right! Thank you!
23
00:01:34,744 --> 00:01:39,744
Dear God in heaven! Ms Wilde, I'm so
sorry. I can only apologise for this
oversight.
24
00:01:39,824 --> 00:01:43,024
And what about my name, at the
beginning of the letter? How do you
explain that?
25
00:01:44,504 --> 00:01:47,744
"Dear Big Eater." Sally,
is this some kind of joke?
26
00:01:47,824 --> 00:01:51,504
No. When I filled out Mrs Wilde's
form for her... Ms Wilde!
27
00:01:51,584 --> 00:01:54,664
When I filled out the form,
that's what she said her name was.
28
00:01:54,744 --> 00:01:59,744
My first name is Bergita! Sally,
you can't ex... I beg your pardon...
29
00:01:59,824 --> 00:02:03,024
Bergita!
My Christian name is Bergita!
30
00:02:03,104 --> 00:02:06,464
Spell it for me.
B-E-R-G-I-T-A.
31
00:02:06,544 --> 00:02:08,224
Now say it. Bergita.
32
00:02:08,304 --> 00:02:10,864
No, I'm sorry. That does sound like
you're saying "Big Eater."
33
00:02:10,944 --> 00:02:12,984
That's it. I've had enough.
34
00:02:13,064 --> 00:02:15,984
You're not getting away with this.
I'm taking it to the top!
35
00:02:20,464 --> 00:02:22,744
All right, her name did
sound like "Big Eater",
36
00:02:22,824 --> 00:02:25,224
but, Sally... "A beast"!?
37
00:02:31,304 --> 00:02:33,224
OK, now, step it up, ladies!
38
00:02:33,304 --> 00:02:35,664
And gents... Apologies, Maurice.
39
00:02:35,744 --> 00:02:38,064
Come on! Let's see those
legs working!
40
00:02:38,144 --> 00:02:40,664
Marcus! A word, please.
41
00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:43,544
OK, guys.
Go from the top again.
42
00:02:46,224 --> 00:02:47,824
Alison.
43
00:02:47,904 --> 00:02:51,544
Marcus, as I've mentioned to
you before, all discarded towels,
44
00:02:51,624 --> 00:02:55,064
left on hangers at the end of each
class, must be removed before the
45
00:02:55,144 --> 00:02:58,464
next session and placed directly in
the Ali Baba basket, to ensure
46
00:02:58,544 --> 00:03:02,104
a swift and efficient turnaround on
all laundry facilities.
47
00:03:03,584 --> 00:03:08,104
OK, come on, guys! Don't break it
up! Just freestyle it, yeah?
48
00:03:08,184 --> 00:03:10,584
Well done, Mrs Kiswani.
You're doing really well.
49
00:03:12,264 --> 00:03:15,424
Can we talk about this another time,
Alison? I'm in the middle of a
class.
50
00:03:16,744 --> 00:03:19,224
It's not shifting, is it, Marcus?
51
00:03:20,544 --> 00:03:21,704
I'm sorry?
52
00:03:21,784 --> 00:03:24,144
The weight. It's not shifting.
53
00:03:24,224 --> 00:03:27,544
You know full well, the accident
I sustained at work was partly
54
00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:30,064
responsible for triggering
my thyroid.
55
00:03:30,144 --> 00:03:31,464
Partly responsible.
56
00:03:31,544 --> 00:03:34,464
The bit of excess weight I'm
temporarily carrying does not
57
00:03:34,544 --> 00:03:37,424
impede my ability to teach.
58
00:03:37,504 --> 00:03:41,064
Does the extra weight you're
carrying stop you from competently
managing this place?
59
00:03:41,144 --> 00:03:43,104
Or is that just purely
a coincidence?
60
00:03:43,184 --> 00:03:46,184
I am Leighton Buzzard Slimmer
of the Decade.
61
00:03:46,264 --> 00:03:47,544
Of the decade!
62
00:03:48,664 --> 00:03:52,504
My very, VERY belated
congratulations.
63
00:03:52,584 --> 00:03:56,224
Now, is there anything else? Yeah.
Paul Tinson's off all this week.
64
00:03:56,304 --> 00:03:58,544
I need you to cover his step class.
65
00:03:59,944 --> 00:04:01,464
Good luck with that.
66
00:04:03,224 --> 00:04:07,904
Oh, shit! Maurice, can you turn
the music off? OK... OK, come on.
67
00:04:07,984 --> 00:04:11,304
Let's get her up. Here we go.
Five, six, seven, eight!
68
00:04:11,384 --> 00:04:12,424
Oh!
69
00:04:12,504 --> 00:04:14,664
Hello.
70
00:04:16,984 --> 00:04:21,704
Hi, Ally. Oh... It's only me.
Jenny? Yeah, sorry, babes.
71
00:04:21,784 --> 00:04:26,224
It's another new number. Bit of a
heavy night last night. I lost my
phone.
72
00:04:26,304 --> 00:04:30,024
Mrs Crabb! Have you got a
moment? Not right now, Rose.
73
00:04:30,104 --> 00:04:33,024
Another one? I know.
It's such a pain.
74
00:04:33,104 --> 00:04:36,144
I got absolutely hammered
and I was sick on my phone
75
00:04:36,224 --> 00:04:38,584
when I was trying to call a cab.
It just stopped working.
76
00:04:38,664 --> 00:04:40,384
Nice. I know.
77
00:04:40,464 --> 00:04:43,104
I can't even claim on the insurance.
78
00:04:43,184 --> 00:04:45,664
I'm pretty sure vomit
counts as water damage.
79
00:04:45,744 --> 00:04:48,224
It did the last time
I broke a phone like that.
80
00:04:48,304 --> 00:04:51,464
Jenny, listen, can I call you later?
It's quite a busy day. No, no, no.
81
00:04:51,544 --> 00:04:52,944
It's just a quick one, babes.
82
00:04:53,024 --> 00:04:55,584
Are you still gonna do that
corporate video for the club?
83
00:04:55,664 --> 00:04:58,184
No. I think we're going to have to
get rid of the overweight,
84
00:04:58,264 --> 00:05:00,864
wheelchair-bound aerobics
instructor before we can show
85
00:05:00,944 --> 00:05:04,344
the spa in its best possible light.
Because...
86
00:05:04,424 --> 00:05:07,744
Have you met Seth from the farm
opposite?
87
00:05:07,824 --> 00:05:08,904
No.
88
00:05:08,984 --> 00:05:13,104
Well, apparently, he made
Winston Churchill's wedding video.
89
00:05:13,184 --> 00:05:15,344
Except it wasn't video then,
obviously, it was film.
90
00:05:15,424 --> 00:05:19,144
It's about Friday. Rose,
do you mind? I'm actually on a call.
91
00:05:19,224 --> 00:05:23,544
He says he's more than happy
to have a crack at your video.
92
00:05:23,624 --> 00:05:27,024
No, Jenny, we're not doing a video
now! Gotta go, babes!
93
00:05:27,104 --> 00:05:29,824
I'll bring a bottle of rose we can
have in the office. Jenny, no!
94
00:05:29,904 --> 00:05:31,664
Can you hear me? I said no!
95
00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:39,104
Sally.
96
00:05:39,184 --> 00:05:40,784
What are you doing?
97
00:05:40,864 --> 00:05:44,544
Nothing. Yeah, I can see that. Well,
could you do something, please?
98
00:05:44,624 --> 00:05:48,184
What do you want me to do?
Use your initiative.
99
00:05:53,024 --> 00:05:54,664
Christ on a bike.
100
00:06:02,064 --> 00:06:03,944
Sally!
101
00:06:04,024 --> 00:06:06,304
Just hang on a sec...
102
00:06:08,184 --> 00:06:11,704
Delete, delete,
delete, delete...
103
00:06:11,784 --> 00:06:12,904
There!
104
00:06:12,984 --> 00:06:15,224
Oh! Sorry about that.
105
00:06:15,304 --> 00:06:19,584
Where's Eric? Odd Job Eric?
No. Eric The Viking.
106
00:06:20,624 --> 00:06:22,944
Eric The Viking?
107
00:06:25,304 --> 00:06:27,064
Oh, forget it. Why do I bother?
108
00:06:31,944 --> 00:06:35,304
Hello, Mrs Crabb! Can I get you
a cup of tea? I've just fed a brew.
109
00:06:35,384 --> 00:06:38,824
Eric, we had an appointment at two
o'clock. Ah! No!
110
00:06:38,904 --> 00:06:41,024
You can't get me on that one,
Mrs Crabb.
111
00:06:41,104 --> 00:06:43,384
I quite categorically
remember you saying,
112
00:06:43,464 --> 00:06:47,024
"Wednesday." I know because I wrote
it down when you said it!
113
00:06:51,944 --> 00:06:55,224
Oh, shite. It's Wednesday
today, isn't it?
114
00:06:56,864 --> 00:07:01,144
Eric, sit down. I'll be in your
office in two shakes of duck's tail.
115
00:07:01,224 --> 00:07:06,224
Eric, just sit down. No, no, no!
It's no problem at all. Sit down!
116
00:07:06,304 --> 00:07:08,344
Yes, Mrs Crabb.
117
00:07:11,184 --> 00:07:15,504
Do you know why I asked to see you?
Not really.
118
00:07:15,584 --> 00:07:19,864
It's the shorts, Eric. The shorts?
We've had more complaints.
119
00:07:19,944 --> 00:07:24,544
About what? These shorts? Yes, Eric!
Those shorts. Please sit down.
120
00:07:24,624 --> 00:07:27,704
What's wrong? They're good shorts,
these. I've not had them long.
121
00:07:27,784 --> 00:07:29,504
Eric, sit down!
122
00:07:31,624 --> 00:07:34,864
The shorts are too tight.
No, they're fine.
123
00:07:34,944 --> 00:07:40,144
36 waist - what I always get.
The shorts are too tight around...
124
00:07:41,224 --> 00:07:43,504
the front. Oh! I see.
125
00:07:43,584 --> 00:07:46,584
Well, the thing is,
I'm quite well endowed
126
00:07:46,664 --> 00:07:49,304
and it's a bit tricky to find
a pair of shorts that...
127
00:07:49,384 --> 00:07:51,144
Eric, we don't need any explanation.
128
00:07:51,224 --> 00:07:55,344
All we need is for you to buy
a looser-fitting pair of shorts.
129
00:07:55,424 --> 00:07:58,744
The thing is, I liked to keep
well tucked-in, you see.
130
00:07:58,824 --> 00:08:02,224
I mean, any looser,
it's liable to fall out.
131
00:08:02,304 --> 00:08:06,464
I mean, my tackle comes down to
at least here. Eric, sit down!
132
00:08:06,544 --> 00:08:09,864
My father was the same. That's why
they called him Moby, after Moby...
133
00:08:09,944 --> 00:08:11,384
Yes, we get the picture!
134
00:08:12,504 --> 00:08:14,384
Now, either you
provide your own shorts,
135
00:08:14,464 --> 00:08:19,904
which are more... appropriate,
or we will provide a pair for you.
136
00:08:21,304 --> 00:08:23,864
Is that everything?
Yes, that's everything.
137
00:08:25,104 --> 00:08:26,584
I'll go first!
138
00:08:28,064 --> 00:08:33,824
Can I have a word? Not now, Rose.
I just need some time off on Friday.
139
00:08:33,904 --> 00:08:35,264
I said not now.
140
00:08:36,784 --> 00:08:39,384
How's it going, Rose?
141
00:08:39,464 --> 00:08:41,824
Not too good.
You'll not believe this.
142
00:08:41,904 --> 00:08:46,664
I've just been chastised by a woman
for having a big knob.
143
00:08:46,744 --> 00:08:51,104
- What's the world coming to?
- Cos I don't know.
144
00:08:54,464 --> 00:08:58,144
Come on! Arms stretched right out!
145
00:08:58,224 --> 00:09:02,664
And no wincing! Pain does not exist
in this health club!
146
00:09:02,744 --> 00:09:04,104
No, Vron!
147
00:09:04,184 --> 00:09:06,944
Fear does not exist in this
health club!
148
00:09:07,024 --> 00:09:11,224
No, Vron!
Defeat does not exist in this health club!
149
00:09:11,304 --> 00:09:12,544
No, Vron!
150
00:09:13,704 --> 00:09:17,304
Sorry, excuse me. Hi, um...
I think I'm in wrong group.
151
00:09:17,384 --> 00:09:19,304
I put my name down for T'ai Chi...
152
00:09:19,384 --> 00:09:21,104
Shut up and get back in line!
153
00:09:33,988 --> 00:09:36,588
It's quite dark in here!
154
00:09:36,668 --> 00:09:40,068
I can't see anything!
I haven't got my torch!
155
00:09:40,148 --> 00:09:42,008
The problem is,
it's such a small hole,
156
00:09:42,061 --> 00:09:44,261
I can't even get one finger in it.
157
00:09:44,341 --> 00:09:47,221
I think we're looking at a build
up of dust from all those
158
00:09:47,308 --> 00:09:48,748
years of you not using it.
159
00:09:50,108 --> 00:09:53,308
Shall I come back?
It can't be that tight.
160
00:09:53,388 --> 00:09:57,228
I know I don't really use it, but
I've definitely shoved things in
there this year.
161
00:09:57,308 --> 00:09:59,788
I'm sorry, Mrs Crabb.
I'm afraid it's stuck.
162
00:09:59,868 --> 00:10:03,308
Well, I can't have it sticking out
like that, I can't get in and out.
163
00:10:03,388 --> 00:10:05,228
Hang on a second, I've got an idea.
164
00:10:10,028 --> 00:10:13,428
All right, leave it, you're gonna
break it. Just one more go.
165
00:10:15,108 --> 00:10:17,988
Oh! I think I felt it move that
time.
166
00:10:18,068 --> 00:10:19,468
I tell you what, if you just...
167
00:10:19,548 --> 00:10:22,308
hang on t'top of the desk - you
know, brace it.
168
00:10:22,388 --> 00:10:24,588
While I give it one last go.
169
00:10:24,668 --> 00:10:26,068
For goodness sake.
170
00:10:30,228 --> 00:10:32,868
There you go, tickety-boo.
171
00:10:32,948 --> 00:10:35,988
Sorry, Alison, but I need you to
sign...
172
00:10:36,068 --> 00:10:37,148
Need me to sign what?
173
00:10:39,068 --> 00:10:41,508
Eric! Yep.
174
00:10:41,588 --> 00:10:43,988
All done, Mrs Crabb. Eric!
175
00:10:45,548 --> 00:10:48,268
Ah, you're right. I did have me
torch all along.
176
00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:51,228
Well, no problem. All sorted.
Your shorts!
177
00:10:53,068 --> 00:10:57,628
Ah! The beast has escaped its
shackles.
178
00:10:57,708 --> 00:11:01,068
Well, I did warn you about
loose-fitting shorts, didn't I, eh?
179
00:11:01,148 --> 00:11:02,988
No harm done.
180
00:11:03,068 --> 00:11:05,188
Right, I've got to get off,
181
00:11:05,268 --> 00:11:07,628
there's some flashing needs
touching up on t'roof.
182
00:11:16,388 --> 00:11:18,708
Hey, hey, it's Wonder Woman.
183
00:11:18,788 --> 00:11:20,948
Eric. How's the pain?
184
00:11:21,028 --> 00:11:23,508
Do you know, I'm absolutely pain
free.
185
00:11:23,588 --> 00:11:25,948
That's wonderful. Oh, yeah.
186
00:11:26,028 --> 00:11:28,308
The session yesterday with that
Gok Wan on me back
187
00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:30,428
has totally straightened me out.
188
00:11:30,508 --> 00:11:32,908
Luoci.
189
00:11:32,988 --> 00:11:37,028
Sorry? The method of cupping I used,
it's called luoci.
190
00:11:37,108 --> 00:11:40,388
Oh, yeah, well, whatever it's
called, it's done the trick.
191
00:11:41,548 --> 00:11:43,588
I showed Mrs Eric the pictures of me
192
00:11:43,668 --> 00:11:47,308
with those jam jars stuck to me back
and, by God, did she laugh!
193
00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:53,868
That's not easy for a woman with
clinical depression.
194
00:11:53,948 --> 00:11:57,428
I didn't know your wife suffered
from depression. Oh, yeah.
195
00:11:57,508 --> 00:11:58,988
Postnatal.
196
00:11:59,068 --> 00:12:04,828
She has postnatal depression? When
did she have her last baby? 1971.
197
00:12:04,908 --> 00:12:08,268
But she's never quite snapped out of
it, you know what I mean?
198
00:12:09,588 --> 00:12:11,388
Right, that's me.
199
00:12:11,468 --> 00:12:14,708
Sitting here isn't gonna get baby
washed, is it, eh?
200
00:12:14,788 --> 00:12:16,468
Oh, it's a baby, is it?
201
00:12:16,548 --> 00:12:19,548
I've often wondered. Right, I'll see
you later.
202
00:12:19,628 --> 00:12:20,908
Bye, Eric.
203
00:12:20,988 --> 00:12:23,388
God, he gives me the creeps.
204
00:12:23,468 --> 00:12:26,348
Eric? Why? Why?
205
00:12:26,428 --> 00:12:30,548
Why do you think? His leering looks
and his sex-pest shorts.
206
00:12:30,628 --> 00:12:32,708
What in the name of God are you
eating?
207
00:12:33,788 --> 00:12:36,188
Scrambled tofu and spinach.
208
00:12:36,268 --> 00:12:39,508
All right, ladies? Hi.
209
00:12:39,588 --> 00:12:40,868
Oh.
210
00:12:40,948 --> 00:12:43,468
You sniffing round that now, are
you?
211
00:12:43,548 --> 00:12:46,308
Sniffing round what?
Meals on wheels.
212
00:12:46,388 --> 00:12:47,828
Marcus.
213
00:12:47,908 --> 00:12:50,108
Vron, that is out of order.
214
00:12:50,188 --> 00:12:52,228
I don't think you should really be
describing
215
00:12:52,308 --> 00:12:54,908
someone in a wheelchair as
"out of order."
216
00:12:54,988 --> 00:12:56,628
It's kind of disrespectful.
217
00:12:56,708 --> 00:13:00,708
How can you make a joke about
something like that? It's in such
incredibly bad taste.
218
00:13:00,788 --> 00:13:02,028
I've got bad taste?
219
00:13:02,108 --> 00:13:04,428
You're the one who fancies a fat
bloke in a wheelchair.
220
00:13:04,508 --> 00:13:06,388
That is so unkind.
221
00:13:06,468 --> 00:13:09,228
He can't help his weight gain. It's
his thyroid.
222
00:13:09,308 --> 00:13:11,988
Yeah, do you know where the word
thyroid comes from?
223
00:13:12,068 --> 00:13:13,828
It's a Greek word meaning,
224
00:13:13,908 --> 00:13:16,428
"To sit on one's arse eating
cakes all day."
225
00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:21,108
There are worse things in life than
being overweight, you know?
226
00:13:21,188 --> 00:13:26,748
How about being unsympathetic,
vicious, hurtful and bad mannered!
227
00:13:26,828 --> 00:13:29,228
Chill out, Davina, it was a joke.
It was just a joke.
228
00:13:30,308 --> 00:13:33,268
Come to The Spa, the only health
club where you can lunch
229
00:13:33,348 --> 00:13:35,428
every day with neurotic fat people.
230
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:40,068
All right?
231
00:13:41,668 --> 00:13:46,268
Come on, Seth Spielberg, in you get.
232
00:13:46,348 --> 00:13:49,748
Just think... you could do an
Alfred Hitchcock
233
00:13:49,828 --> 00:13:51,908
and make an appearance yourself as a
dumbbell.
234
00:13:51,988 --> 00:13:54,388
Come on, come on, get a move on,
I'm parched.
235
00:13:55,868 --> 00:13:57,188
I'm sorry to interrupt but...
236
00:13:57,268 --> 00:14:00,108
Sally, what have I told you?
You don't just burst in here,
237
00:14:00,188 --> 00:14:02,948
you buzz through on the intercom to
see if I'm available.
238
00:14:03,028 --> 00:14:06,988
I'm sorry, Mrs Crabb, but it's
Rose - she's on the roof. What?
239
00:14:07,068 --> 00:14:09,468
What do you mean?
The top part of the building.
240
00:14:09,548 --> 00:14:11,788
No, I mean what's she doing there?
I don't know.
241
00:14:11,868 --> 00:14:13,868
Eric's up there trying to talk her
down.
242
00:14:19,668 --> 00:14:21,188
Oh, Jesus Christ.
243
00:14:21,268 --> 00:14:24,788
Now, come on, Rose, don't be silly.
244
00:14:24,868 --> 00:14:26,668
I got nothing to live for.
245
00:14:29,348 --> 00:14:32,588
They've got jam roly-poly on the
menu today.
246
00:14:32,668 --> 00:14:35,828
Right, first things first, nobody
call the fire brigade.
247
00:14:35,908 --> 00:14:38,308
Last thing we need is this turning
into a major incident.
248
00:14:38,388 --> 00:14:41,628
There's a pensioner standing on the
roof about to throw herself off.
249
00:14:41,708 --> 00:14:44,908
Yeah, exactly, let's not make a
mountain out of a molehill.
250
00:14:47,628 --> 00:14:50,868
Rose, just hang on a minute, just
wait a minute, Rose.
251
00:14:50,948 --> 00:14:52,948
Think about what you're doing.
252
00:14:53,028 --> 00:14:56,308
Marion, her next door neighbour,
died on Monday.
253
00:14:56,388 --> 00:14:58,348
She were her best friend.
254
00:14:58,428 --> 00:15:02,148
Rose, things are never as bad as you
think.
255
00:15:03,508 --> 00:15:05,628
Look, you know the Christmas raffle?
256
00:15:05,708 --> 00:15:10,668
Well, I haven't mentioned this but
the second prize went unclaimed.
257
00:15:10,748 --> 00:15:14,428
That's 100 of London Theatre
vouchers.
258
00:15:14,508 --> 00:15:16,988
I hear Shrek is very good.
259
00:15:17,068 --> 00:15:19,868
She can't even go t'funeral cos it's
on Friday
260
00:15:19,948 --> 00:15:22,348
and you wouldn't let her have time
off.
261
00:15:22,428 --> 00:15:26,228
Oh, Rose, don't worry about a thing
like that.
262
00:15:26,308 --> 00:15:29,148
We can always come to some
arrangement.
263
00:15:29,228 --> 00:15:31,588
Was it this Friday?
264
00:15:31,668 --> 00:15:33,588
Yeah.
265
00:15:33,668 --> 00:15:36,108
Actually, we have got quite a big
board meeting this Friday.
266
00:15:36,188 --> 00:15:38,908
Could you stay late Thursday night?
267
00:15:38,988 --> 00:15:41,268
Alison, I think I can help.
268
00:15:41,348 --> 00:15:42,908
Davina, I appreciate your support
269
00:15:42,988 --> 00:15:45,148
but what experience have you
got in cleaning?
270
00:15:45,228 --> 00:15:48,068
No, I mean I've been training to
join the Samaritans.
271
00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:49,708
I think I could talk her down.
272
00:15:49,788 --> 00:15:51,828
Is this a bad time, babes?
273
00:15:51,908 --> 00:15:53,348
Oh, for God's sake.
274
00:15:53,428 --> 00:15:55,828
Go on, Davina, she might listen to
you.
275
00:15:55,908 --> 00:15:57,908
Rose?
276
00:15:57,988 --> 00:16:02,108
I know things seem bad right now but
just think about what you're doing.
277
00:16:02,188 --> 00:16:04,148
You've your whole life ahead of you.
278
00:16:04,228 --> 00:16:06,308
She's 76.
279
00:16:06,388 --> 00:16:08,988
I understand you're missing your
friend.
280
00:16:09,068 --> 00:16:12,028
I understand you're feeling lonely.
281
00:16:12,108 --> 00:16:15,068
But what about those people you'd be
leaving behind?
282
00:16:15,148 --> 00:16:16,668
What about your children?
283
00:16:16,748 --> 00:16:17,988
I don't think she's got any.
284
00:16:18,068 --> 00:16:20,508
All right then, your childrens'
children.
285
00:16:27,908 --> 00:16:29,228
Rose...
286
00:16:29,308 --> 00:16:30,948
I've suffered from depression.
287
00:16:31,028 --> 00:16:32,948
I know what you're going through -
288
00:16:33,028 --> 00:16:37,108
the agonising torture of one
meaningless day after another.
289
00:16:38,308 --> 00:16:41,748
I know what it's like to wake up
every day
290
00:16:41,828 --> 00:16:47,268
feeling your pathetic excuse of a
life is utterly, utterly worthless.
291
00:16:47,348 --> 00:16:50,028
That each day simply isn't worth
living.
292
00:16:50,108 --> 00:16:52,988
Because no matter what anybody says,
293
00:16:53,068 --> 00:16:56,268
deep down you know that nobody
really cares about you.
294
00:16:56,348 --> 00:16:58,068
Sure, people humour you
295
00:16:58,148 --> 00:17:01,228
but the truth is everyone's laughing
behind your back.
296
00:17:01,308 --> 00:17:02,788
Whispering about you.
297
00:17:02,868 --> 00:17:05,428
The paranoia eating away at your
brain
298
00:17:05,508 --> 00:17:08,588
like maggots on a rotting corpse.
299
00:17:09,948 --> 00:17:12,548
Have you quite finished?
300
00:17:12,628 --> 00:17:14,188
I didn't plan this.
301
00:17:15,708 --> 00:17:18,228
I got a nice meat pie in for
tonight.
302
00:17:20,668 --> 00:17:22,108
I talk to people here and...
303
00:17:23,588 --> 00:17:25,268
it's like I'm a ghost.
304
00:17:26,828 --> 00:17:28,908
They just... don't see me.
305
00:17:30,468 --> 00:17:32,868
I got nobody at home now.
306
00:17:32,948 --> 00:17:34,788
But I had Marion.
307
00:17:34,868 --> 00:17:36,708
Next door.
308
00:17:36,788 --> 00:17:42,508
I'd take her anything out me fridge
that was going off.
309
00:17:42,588 --> 00:17:46,308
Ask her if she'd like to have
it for her tea.
310
00:17:46,388 --> 00:17:50,508
We didn't have sell by dates in our
day.
311
00:17:50,588 --> 00:17:52,308
We was thankful for what we got.
312
00:17:54,348 --> 00:17:56,668
Then we'd have another chat.
313
00:17:56,748 --> 00:17:57,708
Not very long.
314
00:17:59,028 --> 00:18:00,748
Another ten minutes about the...
315
00:18:02,108 --> 00:18:03,948
telly.
316
00:18:04,028 --> 00:18:04,988
Or the news.
317
00:18:06,588 --> 00:18:07,588
Even the weather.
318
00:18:09,628 --> 00:18:10,748
And then I'd go home.
319
00:18:13,148 --> 00:18:15,348
And it was just...
320
00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:17,268
that 20 minutes a day...
321
00:18:19,388 --> 00:18:21,468
20 minutes of...
322
00:18:21,548 --> 00:18:22,828
human contact.
323
00:18:24,748 --> 00:18:26,748
Another person...
324
00:18:26,828 --> 00:18:28,988
validating your existence...
325
00:18:30,468 --> 00:18:34,468
by asking you if you'd watched
Coronation Street.
326
00:18:37,308 --> 00:18:39,548
How did she die?
327
00:18:39,628 --> 00:18:42,388
Complications from salmonella
poisoning.
328
00:18:43,908 --> 00:18:45,548
Something she's eaten apparently.
329
00:18:47,068 --> 00:18:49,908
I think he's getting through to her.
This is ridiculous.
330
00:18:51,068 --> 00:18:53,108
Right, here's what we do.
331
00:18:53,188 --> 00:18:56,828
99% of all attempted suicides are
just a cry for help.
332
00:18:56,908 --> 00:18:58,508
They don't really wanna die.
333
00:18:58,588 --> 00:19:00,228
Rose has made her point.
334
00:19:00,308 --> 00:19:03,668
She knows we care, she knows we're
all here for her.
335
00:19:03,748 --> 00:19:06,308
Now, we'll just slowly go back
inside
336
00:19:06,388 --> 00:19:08,468
and wait for her to come down.
337
00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:11,828
We're just making her nervous
standing here gawping at her like
this.
338
00:19:11,908 --> 00:19:13,988
I'm sorry, Alison, I don't agree.
339
00:19:14,068 --> 00:19:17,708
I wasn't putting it to a vote.
I know what I'm talking about.
340
00:19:17,788 --> 00:19:21,908
Right, after three, we'll all just
gonna slowly walk back inside.
341
00:19:21,988 --> 00:19:24,628
I personally guarantee this is
the only way to resolve this
342
00:19:24,708 --> 00:19:27,268
situation without a loss of life.
343
00:19:27,348 --> 00:19:29,548
OK? Ready?
344
00:19:29,628 --> 00:19:31,508
One...
345
00:19:31,588 --> 00:19:33,068
two...
346
00:19:33,148 --> 00:19:34,708
three.
347
00:19:40,428 --> 00:19:41,628
Leave her.
348
00:19:47,828 --> 00:19:52,148
Oi, what you doing? I'm turning it
off. Leave it. Come back out later.
349
00:20:06,228 --> 00:20:10,668
Noooooooooo!
350
00:20:30,788 --> 00:20:34,708
She's back, she's only back! Wahey!
351
00:20:34,788 --> 00:20:37,508
The fact is, she's a lovely old lady
but we need to get rid of her.
352
00:20:38,948 --> 00:20:41,148
Sorry about that.
353
00:20:41,228 --> 00:20:44,148
Alison! Yes! Yes.
354
00:20:44,228 --> 00:20:48,028
Thank you, Jeffrey. Jason.
Very small print on here.
355
00:20:48,108 --> 00:20:51,668
It's quite difficult to read. But...
356
00:20:51,702 --> 00:21:22,680
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