All language subtitles for Hail, Caesar! A Tale of The Christ 2016 Bluray

(CONFESSION ROOM
WINDOW SLIDES OPEN)

Bless me, Father,
for I have sinned.

It's been, uh,
24 hours since my
last confession.

Son, it's so late.

Yeah, Father.
Work has just...

(SIGHS)

I lied to Connie.
Uh, to my wife.

This is
very serious.

I know.

I promised her
I'd quit smoking.

She thinks it's bad for me.

And I'm trying, but...

I snuck a couple
of cigarettes.

Maybe three.

(THUNDER RUMBLING AT DISTANCE)

Yes.

It's so hard.

Yes.

But I'm trying.

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

NARRATOR: It is 5:00 a.m..

Still shank of night for some.

(CAMERA CLICKING AT DISTANCE)

But for Eddie Mannix,
beginning of a new work day.

The movie studio
for which he works
manufactures stories,

each its own day-lit
drama or moonlit dream.
(WOMAN LAUGHING)

But the work of Eddie Mannix
cares not for day or night.

(WOMAN EXCLAIMING)

And cares little for his rest.

PHOTOGRAPHER:
That's right, doll face.
Churn that butter for me.

Atta girl.

Oh, Jesus Christ
on a scooter!

You here?

EDDIE: The studio has
the rights to Gloria's
likeness, Falco.

Give me the negatives
and things will go
easier on you.

These are for
private use, Eddie.

Come on.

Oh, boy.

Can't a girl
take a few pictures,
have a few laughs?

Jeez, Eddie!
What an old stick
in the mud.

(GASPS)

Now, you listen to me.

You were at a party,
had too much to drink.

Somebody brought you here,
you don't remember who.

You're going home now.

Your name's
Mary Jo Scheinbrotte.

(SOBBING) Okay, Eddie.
COP: So,
Eddie Mannix.

Saw your heap outside.

Got a call.
Loud, disorderly.

Possible French
postcard situation.

Someone was
pulling your leg.

Mary Jo here was just
at a costume party.

It's not really
her dirndl.

She wants to
contribute something
to your pension fund.

Sorry to drag you
out in the rain.

Well, say,
no problem at all.

Aren't you
Gloria DeLamour?

No, no,
I'm Mary Jo

something.

Scheinbrotte.

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

Say, Brian.

Can I bum a cigarette?

(SOLDIERS MARCHING)

NARRATOR: Ancient Rome.

Twelve years into
the rule of Tiberius,
Ruler Maximus.

Rome's legions are
masters of the world.

The stomp of its
sandals heard from

the Iberian
Peninsula in the west,

through the halls
of the great library
of Alexandria in the east.

As oppressed people everywhere
writhe under the Roman lash,

freeman and vassal are united
in one compulsory worship.

(GRUNTS)

The emperor,
Caesar, is Godhead.

Lord of every man's
body and spirit.

For those who will not submit,

the galleys, the arenas,
even crucifixion await.

But there is a new wind
blowing from the east,

from the dusty streets
of Bethlehem,

that will soon challenge
the vast house of Caesar,

that edifice wrought
of brick and blood

which now seems so secure.

(HORSE SNORTS)

Ha!

There she is, Gracchus.

Ah, what a beauty.

GRACCHUS: Aye,
Autolochus. Rome.

Suckled by a she-wolf
and nurturing us,
her sons, in turn.

Tonight I bathe in Caracalla

and wash away the dust
of 300 miles of
Frankish road.

To Rome.

To Rome!
(HORSE NEIGHING)

NARRATOR: Yes, to Rome!

Glorious center
of Caesar's rule.

But far away in Palestine,
another man is coming home.

Saul, humble
merchant of Tarsus

is about to be
struck down by a vision.

What thing is this?

NATALIE: Gloria DeLamour
has been checked into

Our Lady of
Perpetual Rest to dry out.
EDDIE: Uh-huh.

NATALIE: You have
a 10:00 a.m. with
Monsignor O'Reilly

at the Wallace
Beery Conference Room,

and he's bringing
in a Lester Silkwood

from the Legion of
Catholic Decency.

And we've also invited
Patriarch Vlassos for
the Eastern view.

Have they read
the script?
Roger.

Let's also invite
a rabbi and a Protestant
padre of some sort

so we can get
everybody's two cents.

Check.

How's production
on Tucumcari?

Principal is
on schedule,

but second unit
has been idle

in Gallup, New Mexico
for four days.

Heavy rain.

Forecast?
Not good.

Send an insert truck,

have them shoot
driving plates for
Came the Rain.

Check.

Jonah's Daughter
still behind?

Yes. Uh, director says
the problem is DeeAnna,

and she's
getting worse.

I know what it is.
I'll drop in on her
after my 10 o'clock.

All right,
let's call New York.

(LINE BUZZES)
NATALIE (ON INTERCOM)
Mr. Schenk's office, line two.

Hi, Dorothy.
Eddie Mannix.
The old man in?

Natalie, I want
the box office

on The Debonaires
and on Blessed Event.

Can you also...
Yes! Good morning,
Mr. Schenk.

Very well.
Thank you.

Proceeding.
You know, proceeding.

Yeah, Merrily We Dance
starts shooting today.

Beardly Auberon
gave us a draft

that's extremely classy.

Joan Van Vechten's
playing Dierdre,

but we need a male lead
and we need him now.

No, Jack Hogarth is
drying out at Cedars.

Metro won't lend us Gable

unless we give them
the Comiskey twins.

Of course not.
I agree.

What?

Hobie Doyle? Do you
really think so?

After all,
he's a dust actor.

The man barely
knows how to talk.

Yes, of course,
Mr. Schenk, I agree,

but I don't know
if Hobie Doyle

has the (STUTTERS) poise
in a dinner jacket.

Yes, we do need
someone pronto.

No, I don't,
that's very true.

But let me talk to
Laurence Laurentz,
the director.

It could work.
It could work.

Hobie Doyle is
a very promising idea.

(GRUNTS)

(GUNSHOT)

(MEN GRUNTING)

(WHISTLES)

HOBIE: Whitey!

(GUNSHOTS)

(GUNSHOTS CONTINUE)

(WHISTLES)

(WHINNYING)

DIRECTOR: And cut!

Great, Hobie.

I can do the
handstand smoother

if you give me
another shot at her.

We got four
good ones, Hobie,
and Whitey's tired.

Okay, you're
the boss man.

If that's lunch,
I'm gonna grab me
a plate of beans.

(BEVERAGE FIZZING)

All right, kids,
this is Rome.

You're over at this
guy's house for a revel.

And in comes Antoninus.

Lots of energy.

What are you doing at
the table of viands?

Huh?
You're supposed to be
reclining with the lyre.

I'm sorry,
I was just...

Recline with the lyre.

Don't sit on the
pediment. Recline.

Relaxed, festive.

CREW MEMBER:
Extras set?
Set!

CREW MEMBER: Roll sound !

I got my eye on you.

CREW MEMBER:
Roll camera. Fountain !

(BELL RINGING)

Hail, Caesar!
Ten-apple, take 10.

DIRECTOR: And action !

(HARP PLAYING)

SENATOR SESTIMUS: Autolochus!

I had heard rumors
of your return to Rome.

(HARP PLAYS OUT OF TUNE)
AUTOLOCHUS: More than
rumors, noble Sestimus.

I see that you are the same
worshipper of Bacchus.

What gaiety.

There is still
truth in the adage

''What pleasures
cannot be found

''in the villa of
Sestimus Amydias

''cannot be
found in Rome!''

(ALL LAUGHING)

But seriously,

there is talk
the Senate will send
our legions out again,

and this time not on
a short march to Gaul.

What truth to these
mutterings, Sestimus?

The matter has been
taken up in the Senate.

It seems that there
is unrest in Palestine.

Palestine?

(SIGHS)
That backwater!

They'll hardly be
sending the sixth legion

to that godforsaken
patch of desert!

(ALL LAUGHING)

MAN: Palestine!

WOMAN:
(CHUCKLING) Palestine!

Ah.

Holding for
a dissolve...

Still laughing...

Holding...

And cut!

Fine, boys.
That was just fine.

BAIRD: Was I okay?
Was I all right?

(BELL RINGING)
CREW MEMBER: That's a cut!

DIRECTOR: We're gonna
move on to the brazier scene.

Was I all right
with the ''mutterings''?
It felt a little...

No, no, no, no,
it's fine.

Moving on,
brazier scene,
20 minutes.

Popping over
to the trailer.

Okay. In the
brazier scene,

they changed
''passion'' to ''ardor.''

What? Why?
I liked ''passion.''

It's strong.
It's passion !

BAIRD: ''Such is my
greeting after three
months' sojourn in Gaul?

''Not so, Ursulina.''

(GROANING)

''My ardor...

''My ardor is yet as warm

''as the embers
of this brazier.

BAIRD: ''Embers
of this brazier.''

We're ready for you,
Mr. Whitlock!

BAIRD: ''Not so,
Sperm-ulina.''

(GRUNTS SOFTLY)

(GRUNTS)

EDDIE: Gentlemen,
thank you all for coming.

I know you have parishes,
flocks and temples

making enormous
demands on your time.

But I'm sure you
appreciate also

that great masses
of humanity

look to pictures for
information and uplift

and, yes, entertainment.

Now, here at
Capitol Pictures,
as you know,

an army of technicians
and actors and top-notch
artistic people

are working hard to
bring to the screen
the story of the Christ.

It's a swell story.

A story told before, yes,

but we like to
flatter ourselves

that it's never been told

with this kind of
distinction and panache.

Perhaps, sir,
you forget its telling
in the Holy Bible.

Quite right, Patriarch.
The Bible, of course,
is terrific.

But for
millions of people,

pictures will be
their reference point
for the story.

The story's embodiment,
the story's, uh...

Realization.

Realization.

You ''realize,''
of course,
that for we Jews,

any visual depiction
of the Godhead is most
strictly prohibited.

Oh.

But, of course,
for us, the man Jesus
Nazarene is not God.

A-ha!

Who plays Christ?

Oh, a kid we're all
very excited about.

Todd Hocheiser.

Wonderful young actor
we found in Akron, Ohio,
in a nationwide talent hunt.

But Hocheiser is
seen only fleetingly

and with extreme taste.

Our story is told
through the eyes
of a Roman tribune.

Autolochus Antoninus.

Ordinary man,
skeptical at first,

but who comes to
a grudging respect

for this swell
figure from the East.

And Autolochus
is played by

Baird Whitlock.

Oh, my.

Well, he is certainly
a great talent.

Now, Hail, Caesar!
is a prestige picture,

our biggest
release of the year,

and we're devoting
huge resources
to its production

in order to
make it first-class

in every respect.

Gentlemen, given
its enormous expense,

we don't wanna
send it to market
except in the certainty

that it will not offend
any reasonable American

regardless of faith or creed.

Now that's where you come in.
You've read the script.

I wanna know if the
theological elements
of the story

are up to snuff.

I thought the
chariot scene was fakey.

How is he going to
jump from one chariot
to the other

going full speed?

Uh-huh.

Well, we can look at that.

But as for the
religious aspect,

does the depiction
of Christ Jesus
cut the mustard?

Well, the nature of Christ
is not quite as simple

as your photoplay
would have it.

How so, Father?

It's not the case simply
that Christ is God,
or God Christ.

You can say
that again.

The Nazarene
was not God.

He was not not-God.

RABBI: He was a man.
Part God.

RABBI: No, sir.

But, Rabbi, all of us
have a little bit of
God in us, don't we?

Well...

It's the foundation
of our belief

that Christ is most
properly referred to
as the Son of God.

It's the Son of God
who takes the sins of
the world upon himself

so that the rest
of God's children,
we imperfect beings,

through faith, may enter
the Kingdom of heaven.

So God is split?
CATHOLIC CLERGYMAN: Yes.

And no.

EASTERN ORTHODOX CLERGYMAN:
There is unity in division.

And division
in unity.

I'm not sure
I follow, Padre.

Young man, you don't follow
for a very simple reason.

These men
are screwballs.

RABBI: God has children?
What, and a dog?

A collie, maybe?

God doesn't
have children.

He's a bachelor.
And very angry.

No, no, he used
to be angry.

What?
He got over it?

You worship the God
of another age.

Who has no love.

Not true.
He likes Jews.

God loves everyone.

God is love!

God is who he is.

This is special?
Who isn't who is?

But how should
God be rendered
in a motion picture?

God isn't in the
motion picture!

Then who is
Todd Hocheiser?

Gentlemen,
maybe we're biting off
more than we can chew.

We don't need to agree on
the nature of the deity here,

if we could
focus on the Christ,
whatever his parentage.

My question is,
is our depiction fair?

I have seen worse.

Reverend?

There is
nothing to offend
a reasonable man.

EDDIE: Father.

CATHOLIC CLERGYMAN:
The motion picture
teleplay was respectful

and exhibited
tastefulness and class.

Who made you an expert
all of a sudden?

And what do
you think, Rabbi?

Eh...

I haven't
an opinion.

How did we do?
I don't...

Fine. What's up?

Can't find
Baird Whitlock.

He left the set
over an hour ago,

said he was going
to his dressing room,

but he isn't there.

Out on a bender?
Middle of the day?
Am I crazy?

You're not crazy,
but, no.

I checked the
Til Two, Dan Tana's,
Rusty Scupper. No soap.

Home, maybe?
Called his wife?
Yep.

What did Laura say?

''He's not home,
he's never home.

''He's a louse.
Try one of his chippies.''

Called that script girl,
what's her name, Francie?

Uh, check.

Any of the gals
missing from the set?

Nope.

EDDIE: All right,
gone an hour? We
won't worry yet.

STUDIO ASSISTANT: Hobie?

The studio says
you're finished here,

and you're to report
back to the lot.

How come?

They're changing
your image.

Okay.

And the studio says you're
escorting Carlotta Valdez

to your premiere tonight.

How come?
I don't know her.

The studio's arranging it.
They're changing your image.

(WOMAN SINGING OPERATICALLY)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

(GONG RINGS)

Damn it!

(MUSIC STOPS)

(DRESS STRAINING)

(GRUNTS)

(DRESS POPS)

You have gas
again, ma'am?

Ma'am? Miss.
Do I look married?

No, miss.
No! Yeah,
''Gas again.''

Ask him. He knows.

All right. Scram.

How are you,
DeeAnna?

How am I? Wet.

I don't think I'm
gonna fit in that
fish-ass after this week.

Oh, we should have
the water ballet in the
can after tomorrow.

In the nightclub scene,

wardrobe will
have a gown for you
that's more forgiving.

Any more thoughts about
who you might marry?

(SCOFFS)

I ain't doing that again.
I had two marriages.

It just cost
the studio a lot of money
to bust them up.

Well, we had to
have those annulled.

One was to
a minor mob figure...

Vince was not minor.

And Buddy Flynn
was a bandleader

with a long history
of narcotic use.

Yeah, yeah,
that's what I'm saying.
They were both louses.

Marrying a third louse
ain't gonna do me no good.

We've offered you
some very suitable,
clean young men.

Pretty boys,
saps and swishes!

What, you think if
there wasn't a good,
reliable man,

I wouldn't have
grabbed him?

What about Arne Seslum?
He is the father, isn't he?

Yeah, yeah.

The marriage doesn't
have to last forever.

But, DeeAnna,
having a child
without a father

would present
a public-relations
problem for the studio.

The aquatic pictures
do very nicely for us.

So you go and
strap on a fish-ass
and marry Arne Seslum.

The pictures do well
for all of us,

and it's a tribute to you.

The public loves you
because they know
how innocent you are.

That's true.

Let me see if Arne
is open to matrimony.

You're sure he's the father?

Yeah, yeah. Absolutely,
he's the father, yes!

Pretty sure.

Hey, Maxie,
bring me my ass back.

Hey, hey, buddy,
come here!

How you doing, Hobie?

Hello there, Scotty.

They got you
shooting on the lot?

Uh, well, Mr. Mannix
pulled me off the western.

Says I'm doing
a movie on a sound stage.

They built a drawing room.

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

(DOOR CREAKING)

CREW MEMBER: He's here.

Oh, my dear boy.
Welcome.

Laurence Laurentz.

And you look
wonderful, wonderful.
How do you feel?

Uh, well, this here
collar is a little tight.

No, no, no.
It's nicely fit,
looks a marvel.

Oh.
Just takes a little
getting used to.

Now, Hobie,
here is our set.

And, in fact,
that's right, yes,
you enter from there,

having just seen
Biff's valise
in the foyer,

in spite of Allegra's
claim that he hasn't
been to the house.

I'm sweet on Allegra.
Indeed you are.

But I seen
Biff's grip.

Indeed you have.

And so here we
find you, Hobie...

We find you haunted
by unspoken suspicions.

Haunted.
By Biff's grip.

By his
valise, yes.

But here is Dierdre

harboring deep
feelings for you,

and sensing opportunity.

Dierdre.
Dierdre, yes.

So at her importuning,
you join her on the couch

and conversation ensues.

Um...

So, she's gonna
importune,
Mr. Laurence?

Laurentz.

Oh, I'm sorry.

She's gonna
importune,
Mr. Laurentz?

Is that something
I should be
concerned about?

No, she'll simply
ask you to join her

on the couch,
is all I mean to say,

and then conversation ensues.

Okay. Okay.
I gotcha.

Very good, very good.
Let's try one, shall we?
(CLEARS THROAT)

Sure. (CHUCKLES)
I'll give it a go.

Wonderful, splendid.

Now, the only thing
I would suggest is,

before your first line,
you respond to her line

with a
mirthless chuckle.

A mirthless chuckle.

Yes, I think given your
unspoken suspicions

about Allegra,

a mirthless chuckle.

Uh-huh. Okay, Mr. Laurence,
I'll give it a shot.

Laurentz.

Oh, gosh,
I'm so sorry,
Mr. Laurentz.

I'll give it a shot.

(DOOR RATTLES)

(BELL RINGING)

CLAPPER BOY: Merrily We Dance.
27-apple, take one.

LAURENCE: Action.

(RATTLING)

DIERDRE: Oh, Monty.

Come join me
on the divan.

(FOOT THUMPS)

It seems
Allegra's a no-show,

which is simply a bore.

But I'll partner
you in bridge.

Why the pout?

Ha!

Would that it were so simple.

Uh, cut.

(BELL RINGING)
CREW MEMBER: That's
a cut. Back to one.

Very good.
Wonderful, in fact.

But, um, let's try it
a little differently
this time.

Sure.
Let's try...

Let's see,
first of all,
why don't we

dispense with
the mirthless chuckle?

No mirthless chuckle.

No, no need, really.
It was a bad idea.
It was bad directorial.

My fault
overthinking the thing.

If you say so,
but I'm happy
to do another,

maybe try her
one more time.

I mean,
if you want that chuckle,
I sure wanna give her to you.

No, no, no.
Completely unnecessary
under the circumstances.

I think the
audience can,
to that extent,

they can read
your thoughts,

and they will assume
your mirthlessness.

Okay, you're
the boss man,
Mr. Laurence.

Laurentz.

Oh, gosh.
I am so sorry,
Mr. Laurentz.

Also, this time,
let's try actually

looking at Dierdre
as we speak.

Looking into her eyes
and speaking our line

with a certain
ruefulness.

Ruefulness, okay.

Yes. Because it's
not so simple, you see.

Not so simple
as she suggests.

Okay.

Your feelings
are not so simple.

No, sir. Okay.

(BELL RINGING)
CREW MEMBER:
Roll camera.

Merrily We Dance.
27-apple, take two.

(SIGHS) Action.

DIERDRE: Oh, Monty.

Come join me
on the divan.

Seems Allegra's
a no-show, which is
simply a bore.

But I'll partner
you in bridge.

Why the pout?

(SLOWLY) Would that
it were so simple.

Cut.

(BELL RINGING)

Very good,
very good.

Um... (CLICKS TONGUE)

Come, come.

HOBIE: All right.

(EXHALES)

All right,
let's try this.

Your line,
just say it
as I say it.

Say your line
exactly as
I'm about to.

Just as
I'm about to do.

Sure, okay.

Would that it
were so simple.

Um...

Would that ih
twuuuuuuh so simple.

Would that it
were so simple.

Would that ih
twuuuuuuh so simple.

My dear boy,
why do you say that?

Why do you say ''twuuuuuuh''?

You said, ''Say it
like I said it.''
Yes.

Would that ih
twuuuuuuh so simple.

Would that it
were so simple.

Would that ih
twuuuuuuh so simple.

Would that it...
Would that ih
twuuuuuuh so simple?

No, no, watch my mouth.
Would that it were so simple.

Would that ih
twuuuuuuh so simple.

Keep your head still.
Would that it were so simple.

Would that ih
twuuuuuuh so simple.

Would that it
were so simple.

I'm trying to
say that, Mr. Laurentz.

Laurence. Mmm.

I thought...

A minute ago
it was Laurentz.

No, we can use
Christian names,
my good dear boy.

Laurence is fine,
just as I call you Hobie.

Okay.

So, would that
it were so simple.

Would that ih
twuuuuuuh so...

Keep your hand down, now!
Would that it were so
simple. Trippingly.

Would that ih twuuuuuuh
so simple. Trippingly.

No, don't say ''trippingly,''
say the line trippingly.

Would that ih twuuuuuuh...
Would that it...
(CLEARS THROAT)

Would that it
were so simple.

Would that ih
twuuuuuuh so simple.

Would that it
were so simple.

Would that ih
twuuuuuuh so simple.

Would that it
were so simple.

Would that ih
twuuuuuuh so simple.

Would that it
were so simple.

Would that ih
twuuuuuuh so simple.
Rueful, rueful, rueful.

Would that ih
twuuuuuuh so simple.
Rueful.

Would that it
were so simple.

Rueful ''simple.''
Would that
ih twuuuuuuh...

Soulful ''simple.''
Would that ih
twuuuuuuh so simple.

Or soulful.
You could say soulful.

Rueful, soulful.
Would that it
were so simple.

Would that ih
twuuuuuuh so simple.

What are you
doing this for?

Would that
ih twuuuuuuh so...

Your hands!
Just keep still !

(KNOCK ON THE DOOR)
(DOG BARKING)

PRODUCER: Stall?
For how long?

What do I
tell the director?

EDDIE: That we're
looking for him.

But we don't want it
in the gossip columns.

Baird on a bender,
in a love nest,

or wherever we
end up finding him.

And as far as
the set is concerned,
it's business as usual.

Tell the ADs
Baird is out briefly
with a high ankle sprain.

Fine, but what do
we shoot without him?

We got the brazier
scene up this afternoon.

Could you get through it
shooting around him?

Maybe use his stunt double,
Chunk Mulligan?

Chunk can't act.

Get the writer to
trim his speeches.

Well, maybe,
but then what do we do?

All we got left
is the final scene.

Autolochus' speech
at the feet of the
penitent thief.

It's the emotional climax
of the entire picture.

We gotta see
Autolochus has absorbed
the message of the Christ.

Yeah, I can see that.

We need Baird's
star power, his charisma.

Sure, his emotional, uh...

This can't be faked !
It's the heart and
soul of the picture.

I understand.
End of the film !

We can't just give
the speech to some...

Some

Roman schmo!

No, no. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, I got it.

But his benders can
last a day or two.

What does it cost
to shut down?

Plenty. You know how
big this picture is?

We're on Stages 5 and 14.

If we're carrying everybody
in the final scene

who's up on crucifixes

that's $3.40
an hour hardship pay,
eight hour minimum.

Yeah.
Plus we lose...

NATALIE: (ON INTERCOM)
Mr. Mannix, I'm sorry...
Not now.

We lose Todd Hocheiser to Fox
at the end of the week.

We should have
made him exclusive.

Who knew?
(PHONE BUZZES)

NATALIE: I'm sorry, sir..
Not now!

It's Mr. Laurentz.
I can't stop him!

Mannix,
I won't have it!
NATALIE: No! No!

For two decades the words
''Laurence Laurentz Presents''

have meant something
to the public.

It's all right, Natalie.
Okay, Walt, let me know.

(SIGHS)

What's on your
mind, Laurence?

Hobie Doyle cannot act!

Hobart Doyle is
one of the biggest

movie stars in the world.

On horseback.

But this is a drama,
Mannix, a real drama.

It's an adaptation
of a Broadway smash !

It requires the skills
of a trained thespian,

not a rodeo clown !

I begged you for Lunt!

Mr. Mannix, I'm sorry,
but you wanted me to make sure

you didn't miss your lunch
at the Imperial Gardens.

You never told me who with.

Nuts.

Look, no one
wants to see Lunt.

We're not recasting.
This came from
Mr. Schenk himself.

It's Hobie Doyle.
Is the boy game?

No, he's game.
And gamey!

Well, if he needs help,
it's your job to help him.

I'll have a talk with
Hobie and take a look
at what you've shot,

but right now
I've got a lunch.

''Truth to these
mutterings, Sestimus.''

(GROANING)

(MUMBLING)

(DOORBELL RINGS)

(DOG BARKING)

(INDISTINCT)

Quiet, Engels!

How pleasant to
see you, Mr. Mannix.

Your table is
right over here.

Thank you, Arthur.

How you doing, Mannix?

Mr. Cuddahy.

They mix a hell
of a Mai Tai.
I like this place.

Sorry to keep you hanging.
It's a tough decision.

Nothing to apologize for.
We said the deal was on
the table for a week.

Oh.

Go ahead.

No, I'm
trying to quit.

I just wanted
to visit again

to see if there
was some impediment
we could help with,

or if something in
the offer isn't clear?

No, the offer's very clear.
And very generous.

We want to make it easy
for you to say yes.

Mannix, we need
a guy with your talents
in management,

problem-solving.

And you need to
think about the future.

Lockheed is booming.

Everyone's
riding in airplanes,

and we're moving
into jet airplanes.

It's a new age, Mannix,
and we're part of it.

The industry you're in,
what's the future there?

What happens
when everybody owns
a television set?

Will they still be going
to pictures every week?

Well, we like to
think that families...

I don't mean to denigrate.

I'm sure the picture business
is pretty damned interesting.

But it's also pretty
frivolous, isn't it?

Aviation is serious.
Serious business,
serious people.

You won't be
babysitting a lot of
oddballs and misfits,

shouldering a lot of
crackpot problems for...

We have some
kooks, sure, but...

(CHUCKLES) Of course
they're kooks! It's
all make-believe.

(CHUCKLES)

I told myself
I wasn't gonna

badmouth the competition,
and look at me.

Sorry, Mannix.
I'll stick with
what we're about.

Let me show
you something.

Ever heard of
the Bikini Atoll?

No.

Test site.

Just couple of rocks in the
middle of the Pacific,

until a few weeks ago,

when we blew
the H-erino.

I shouldn't be
telling you this.

It's the real world.

Hydrogen bomb.

Fusion device.

Armageddon.

And Lockheed was there.
We had a...
(BEADS JANGLING)

Call for you,
Mr. Mannix.

Oh, thank you.

Hello?

Yeah, he has it now?

No, have him
stay on set,
I'll go to him.

Sorry, Cuddahy,
work emergency.

Still do work there,
for the day anyway.

You make a good case.
I'll let you know.

(DEVICE WHIRRING)
(THUD)

(THUDDING CONTINUES)

(GRUNTS)

(THUD)

(VACUUM CLEANER STOPS)

Uh...

You one of the
Hollywood people?

Maybe.

They're in there.

(VACUUM CLEANER STARTS)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(CHATTER GROWS LOUDER)

(DOOR CREAKING)

Please, enter.
All are welcome.

(GRUNTS)

Those things
are a nuisance.

Thank you.

We'll have sandwiches
in a minute.

Tea?

Tea?

Uh, okay.

Yeah. (CLEARS THROAT)
And, uh...

And what's going on?

Yeah.

Well, we've just
read the minutes.

And Alan was about to
bring up new business.

Well, I missed
the minutes.

I wouldn't
worry about it.

They're usually
pretty boring.

What kind of
a meeting is this?

HEAD WRITER: Well,
it's not a meeting

so much as a...

It's, uh, more of
a study group.

And you're studying?

All sorts of jolly stuff.

History.
Economics.

WRITER 1: Same thing,
isn't it?

History, economics.

Don't you agree?

I'm not really
a student of history.

(DOG BARKING)

WRITER 2: Quiet, Engels!

BAIRD: Thank you.

Man is split?

Well, Man's functions
are split.

There's the little guy,
the regular Joe who
works for a living.

He's the body,
body politic.

Then there's the brain,
the boss, the owner.

The boss is
not the brain.

No, no!
The boss is parasite!

HEAD WRITER: Well, it's true
that the boss doesn't work,
but he has a function.

He controls the means of...

Production. Sure,
but that's not
a function, that's...

Parasitism !
On the...
Shut up!

On the body politic.
Of the regular Joe!
WRITER 3: Shut up!

(CLEARS THROAT)

Man is unitary.

A simple economic agent.

Man's institutions
are split,

expressing contradictions
that must be worked through.

And they are worked
through in a causative,
predictable way.

History is science.

This is the essence
of the dialectic.
(WRITERS AGREEING)

You see, if you
understand economics,

you can actually
write down what will
happen in the future.

With as much confidence
as you write down
the history of the past.

Because it's science.
It's not make believe.

We don't believe
in Santa Claus.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Another finger sandwich?

Thank you. Now if I
follow this correctly...
(CAMERA CLICKS)

Who's that guy?

Uh, Mr. Smitrovich takes
pictures for our newsletter.

Our understanding
of the true workings
of history

gives us access to
the levers of power.

Your studio, for instance,
is a pure instrument of
capitalism.

As such, it expresses
the contradictions
of capitalism

and can be enlisted to
finance its own destruction.

Which is exciting.

It can be made to
help the little guy,
the regular Joe.

The body politic!
Shut up!

Even though its purpose
is to exploit the little guy.

WRITER 4: And
the body politic.

You're for the little guy?
(CAMERA CLICKS)

For the little guy or against,
it doesn't matter.

History will be
what it will be,

and we already
know what it'll be.

But yes, we're
for the little guy.

Aren't you?
Shut up!

Are you joking?
Me, for the little guy?

Of course I'm for
the little guy.

What, is this guy
a comedian?

(ALL CHUCKLING)

Listen, I better
get back. The studio's
gotta be going nuts.

Can we cut it off
now and pick it up
right here

at the next
study session?

(CLEARS THROAT)

Okay, well, see...

I'm afraid it's
not that simple.

NARRATOR: And so,
Baird Whitlock found himself
in the hands of communists.

Meanwhile, far from
the crashing surf of Malibu,

Eddie Mannix,
torn from his lunch
with a Lockheed man,

hurries back to the vastness
of Capitol Pictures,

whose tireless
machinery clanks on,

producing this year's
ration of dreams

for all the weary
peoples of the world.

Hey, numbskull. Didn't you
see the rolling light was on?

Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Mannix.
Can I help you find someone?

No.

URSULINA: Autolochus!
AUTOLOCHUS: Yes?

Why do you present
yourself in my chambers
in such humble fashion?

Do not look
upon me, Ursulina.

The fires of the
brazier of Sestimus

have latterly
burned my face!

Though the unguents
of Arkimideus

promise shortly
to undo the damage.

Autolochus, you know
that my love is for you,

not for your station.

AUTOLOCHUS: And my
ardor for you...
(STAMMERING)

CHUNK: I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

''We are the Future.''

What does
that mean?

Beats me.

Somebody slipped
it under my door

sometime after we
broke this morning.

Mention it
to anyone?

Nope.

Okay, well, let's
keep it that way.

Hey, by the way,
Chunk sounded
good in there.

Natalie, could you
please get me Stu
Schwartz, Accounting?

(LINE BUZZES)
NATALIE: Stu Schwartz on two.

Stu, how are ya?
I need some petty cash.

$100,000.

I'm sorry,
did I say petty?

Well, it's a long story,
and I'll tell it to you
some time.

You have that much
in the office?

Yeah, how much space
will that take up?

Uh, Mr. Mannix?

All right,
this might do it.

Uh, Thora Thacker
just came in.

Wonders if you
have a moment.

Thora Thacker.

Tell her I'm
stuck on a call.

I'll leave
through the patio.

Call didn't take
so long then.

Yes. No.
Fast talkers.

What can I
do for you, Thora?

Well, I'll be
fast, too.

I only wanted to
notify you as a courtesy

that I am running my
Baird Whitlock story.

Yeah?
What's the story?

The story. I have
a credible source and
I am going to run it,

and I think you know
what story I mean.

I have no idea.

There's nothing
going on with Baird.
I would know, wouldn't I?

Don't play dumb, Eddie.

I am talking about

On Wings as Eagles.

What?

Running it tomorrow.

First of all...

First of all, there's
nothing to that story.

I've heard it,
it's been around forever,

and it's never
been confirmed.

And secondly,
you can't print that.

Even if you could print it,
you couldn't print it.

And you wouldn't
want to, Thora.
It's beneath you.

The facts are
never beneath me.

People don't want the facts,
they wanna believe!

That's our great industry,
mine and yours, too.

They wanna believe
that Baird Whitlock

is a great star
and a good man.

You're admitting he isn't.

No, I'm saying he is,
though it's beside
the point.

There's nothing to it,
nothing to the gossip.

I am not
a gossip columnist!

No, no, no,
of course not.

Don't confuse me
with my sister!

Hardly. But look,
do you have to
run it tomorrow?

It's my entire column.

I'm happy to talk
to Baird for comment,

but it will have to
be this afternoon.

Baird's unavailable
right now. Wait one day.

Ha!

Thora, wait one
day and I'll give you

a true story for
tomorrow's column.

A little something

about Hobie Doyle.

My readers don't
care about Hobie Doyle.

He wears chaps!

Do they care about
Carlotta Valdez?

They're sweet on each other.

You should see
the two of them together.
Like peas in a pod.

Trade the story of my
career for a puff piece
on Hobie Doyle?

I don't think so.

You're not trading anything,
you're waiting one day

on a story
that's years old.

Wait one day.
I can let you
talk to Baird,

show you your
story's the bunk.

If I'm wrong,
no skin off your nose.
You run the column.

In the meantime,
you have an exclusive.

No one else knows
about Hobie and Carlotta.

No kidding.
You're it.

What kind of name
is Thora, anyway?

It's a name that 19
million readers trust.

Don't play games
with them, Eddie.

Oh, nobody's
playing games here.

(BAG STRAINING)

Is that big enough?

(LOCKS LATCHING)

Hello, Eddie.
I'm notifying you
as a courtesy

before I run
tomorrow's story.

Thessaly? Yeah,
I just saw your...

Ah, never mind.
How you doing?
What's the story?

It's about
Baird Whitlock.

There's absolutely
no truth to that old
story, believe me.

Old?
Old, stale, rotten and...

I'm talking about today.

What?

A little bird told
me that he disappeared
from the set today.

Oh, that! No, no.

Yes, he did
have to take a break.

Minor injury.
High ankle sprain.

What did you
think I meant?

No, nothing. I saw
your sister earlier.

She was trying to resurrect
some old gossip about Baird.

Oh, I'm sure
she was, that cow!

She wouldn't know
a news story if it
bit her on the posterior.

Yeah, well, she's...
High ankle sprain?

Is that really the best
you could come up with?

We all know
about the womanizing
and the drinking jags

and those trips
to San Berdoo.

Baird is a
good family man.

He has a high ankle sprain.

Mr. Mannix?

What's up, Peanut?

Natalie told me
to find you PDQ.

I know it sounds screwy,
but she said

someone's calling
from the future.

Good Lord ! Thessaly,
I have to run.

If you do know where Baird is,
you must let me talk to him.

Sure. I'll find out
where he is right away,
Thessaly,

and I'm sure...

Say, what kind of
name is Thessaly, anyway?

It's a name that 20
million readers trust.

They want the truth, Eddie.

The truth, yes.
Mmm-hmm.

We're gonna
give it to them.

On three.
And Hobie Doyle
is in there.

Hey.
HOBIE: Hello, Mr. Mannix.

EDDIE: Thanks for
coming, Hobie. One second.

Hello, Mannix...
(DIAL TONE)

Damn.

Hung up, Natalie.
Tell me the second
they call back.

NATALIE: Yes, sir.

What's going
on there, Mr. Mannix?

Looks like you're
expecting rain.

No, it's nothing.

How's the first
day on the picture?

You getting comfortable?

Oh, I guess it's
going pretty good.

Uh, that Mr. Laurentz,
he's an awful good man.

He's helping me
get through it.

I give him all the
credit in the world,

me being the new hand
in the bunkhouse.

They got me talking a lot,

which takes a little
getting used to,

talking with the
camera looking at me,
but, heck, I enjoy.

Oh, good, that's fine.

Usually on a picture,
I just say, ''Whitey''
or ''Whoa, there.''

But this one here,
it's talking.

And it's people listening.

That threw me
a little at first,

but I think I got
my leg up on her now.

That's fine.
Laurentz came by
this morning

to tell me how
well you're doing.

You just continue to
do whatever he says.

He knows how to make
a quality picture.

That is true. He will
not quit on a take
until it has quality.

(LINE BUZZES)
That them?

NATALIE: Sorry, sir, no.

Do you want
Mrs. Mannix on one?

Hiya, hon.

You know, busy.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

I thought he asked
to play infield.

I see.

Maybe we should make him
honor that commitment.

That's true.
No, of course,
you're right.

Okay. Okay,
I'll call the coach.

Sure.

I love you, too.

Mr. Mannix,
you want me to run out

and get you a bigger grip?

That one looks
a little bit snug.

(LOCKS CLICKING)

Hobie.

There's $100,000 in
that attaché case.

Ransom money.

Baird Whitlock
has been kidnapped.

This is bad.

Bad for movie stars
everywhere.

And you got no idea
who's mixed up
in this thing?

I would look at the extras.

The extras? Why?

Well, you just never
know about an extra.
They come and go.

Everyone else, I'm on the set,
I see the guy setting the 5K,

I think, ''Why, there's
old Bud setting the 5K.''

Script girl,
wrangler, same thing.

Extras, that's different.

Not making
a blanket call here.

I mean, there's good
extras and bad extras.

All I'm saying

(CLEARS THROAT)

you look at an extra,

you got no idea
what he's thinking.

(LINE BUZZES)

NATALIE:
He's back! Line two.

Hello.
You have the money?

Yes, I have it.

Stage 8?

Behind the electrical box?
Just leave it there?

And when do
I get Baird?
When we have the money.

I'll do it right now.

Can I use your belt?

(SHIP HORN BLARING)

(BELL DINGING)

The Swingin' Dinghy
is closing, folks.

Time for me to clean up,
time for you to clear out.

So long, fellas.
See ya in eight months.

GIRL 1: Toodle-oo.
GIRL 2: See ya later, boys.

Eight months?

Yeah, we're shipping
out in the morning.

Golly!
Eight months
without a dame.

Can you beat it?

You're gonna
have to beat it!

(GIRLS LAUGHING)

(SIGHS)

(SINGING)
We are heading out to sea

And however it'll be

(PIANO PLAYING)
It ain't gonna be the same

'Cause no matter what we see

When we're out
there on the sea

We ain't gonna see a dame

We'll be
searching high and low

On the deck and down below

But it's a crying shame

We'll see a lot of fish
But we'll never clock a dish

We ain't gonna see a dame

No dames

We might see
some octopuses

No dames

Or a half
a dozen clams

No dames

We might even
see a mermaid

ALL: But mermaids
got no gams

No gams

(FEET TAPPING RHYTHMICALLY)

Hey!
Off of there!

Hey, come on.

Hey! Come on.

Hey!

Oh, come on !

Oh, Christ!
Climb up and tappin'.

Ah, come on !

(METALLIC CLINKING)

(BELL RINGING)

SAILOR 1:
Have we got
a girl for you !

SAILOR 2: (SINGING)
Out there on the sea

Here's how it will be

I'm gonna
dance with you, pal

You're gonna dance with me

ALL: When we're out
there on the sea

We'll be happy as can be

Or so the captain claims

But we have to disagree
'Cause the only guarantee

Is I'll see a lot of you
And you'll see a lot of me

ALL: And it's
absolutely certain that
we'll see a lot of sea

But we ain't
gonna see no dames

SAILOR 2: No dames!

We're gonna see
How will it be?

No dames!
With no dames!

We're gonna see
How will it be?

No dames!
No dames!

We're gonna see
And how will it be?

We ain't gonna see no...

This place looks open !

(SAILORS CHEERING)

What the...

You, out!

(EXCLAIMS)

Stop it! Hey!
Hey!

Quit it!
Cut that out!

This ain't that
kind of a place!

ARNE: Cut!

Yeah, okay.
CREW MEMBER: Okay, kids...

Okay.

Come here,
Burt Gurney.
We go again.

Anything different,
Mr. Seslum?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, no, no.

Mostly pretty good,
but this time

don't put dishrag
on bartender's head.

You're a big star,
Burt Gurney.

Who cares about
the bartender?

You are the star.
(SCOFFS)

That's my whole character,
the slow burn.

Gosh, Mr. Seslum,
I don't mind
if he wants to...

It is decided.
Hello, Burt.

Hello, Mr. Mannix.

Arne.
Hello.

Listen, I don't wanna
stick my nose in other
people's business,

but, uh...

Well, I understand
you've been associating
with DeeAnna Moran?

Yeah, yeah,
we associated.

Yes.

But no more, no more.
Don't you worry,
Eddie Mannix.

But, Arne, you are
aware that she's...

This must not be
in movie magazines,
that we are associated.

No, no,
of course not.

My wife cannot read this.

Your... Excuse me?

Ilsa Pflug.

Ilsa Pflug-Seslum.

In Malmö.

I was not aware of that.

ARNE: Yeah, two children.

And a third on
the way, apparently.
Mmm-hmm.

Do you enjoy physical culture,
Eddie Mannix? Do you ski?

No. I never took it up.
Seems like a lot of fun, Arne.

I no more associate
with DeeAnna Moran.

I hug you.

Goodbye.

BAIRD: I spent the night.

So, I feel somebody
poking at me, and I
wake up and it's Clark.

And he says, ''Well,
your keys aren't in there,
so I guess we're walking.''

(ALL LAUGHING)

This was back before
Gable was Gable.

Yeah, we used to
go up to San Berdoo
every weekend.

Bob Stack would
come up sometimes.

Blue Grotto
was still open.

Dave Chasen
was a busboy.

Quite a place.
Yours?

Gracious, no. It belongs to
a member of our study group.

He couldn't be
here this afternoon.

He'll be sad to
have missed you.

He's a fan.

Uh-huh.
That's swell.

So, I black out,
I wake up here...

(WINCES)

And I say to myself,

''Baird, you gotta
stop doing this.''
(ALL LAUGHING)

But you're saying,
actually, technically,
I was kidnapped.

Well, technically, yes.

There's gonna be a ransom?

I'd hardly
call it a ransom.

Benedict there.
That's Benedict
de Bonaventure.

He wrote
The House of Ahasuaris.

Enormous hit. Made the
studio millions of dollars.

Did you see any of those
millions of dollars, Ben?

I did not.

Dutch over there.

Dutch Zweistrong wrote
All The Way To Uruguay.

I wrote all the
All The Way pictures.

All successful. You see any
of the profits, Dutch?
(SCOFFS)

See, all of us
here are writers.

The pictures
originated with us.
They're our ideas.

But they're owned
by the studio.

I'm not saying only writers
are being exploited.

I mean, look at
yourself, Baird.

The studio takes
pretty good care of me.

What are you, a child?

I think what Herschel's
trying to say is,

just because the studio owns
the means of production,

why should it be able to
take the money, our money,

the value created
by our labor,

and dole out
what it pleases?

That's not right.

So, no. No.
I wouldn't call it ransom.

Payback.
WRITER 1: That's right.

Now, until quite recently
our study group
had a narrow focus.

We concentrated on
getting communist content
into motion pictures.

Always in a sub
rosa way, of course.

And we were
pretty darn successful.

You remember in
Kerner's Corner

the town hall scene
where the alderman

overturned the
rotten election

and made Gus the mayor?

Yeah.

Well, I like to think
we've changed a few minds.

But then Dr. Marcuse
came down from Stanford,
joined the study group

and started teaching
us about direct action.

Praxis.
Action.

We each pursue our
own economic interest.

We ourselves are not above
the laws of history.

But in pursuing our
interests with vigor,

we accelerate the dialectic

and hasten the end
of history and the
creation of the New Man.

Plus, we make
a little dough.
DUTCH: Shut up!

We're not even
talking about money!

We're talking about economics.

Sure, good.

Good stuff.

So, now, uh, do I get
a share of the ransom?

No.
(ALL LAUGHING)

No, Mr. Whitlock,
you can hardly share
in your own ransom.

That would be unethical.

I don't know. That
doesn't seem fair,
fellas.

I mean, the whole
setup only works
if I play along, right?

If I don't let on
that I know who
kidnapped me.

Well, yes,
that's right.

What if I name names?

If I just tell the truth.

Uh...

I don't think you'll
do that, Mr. Whitlock.

What if we told
the truth about
On Wings as Eagles?

EDDIE: Sid.

We have to work
something out for
DeeAnna Moran.

She get married again?

No, that's the problem.
Having a child, not married.

Whew. Tough.

Yeah, no father.

Well, of course
there is one somewhere.

But who knows?
Exactly.

So is there any way...

I'm just spitballing here.

Any way she could
adopt her own child?

Interesting.
As a single...
Mmm-hmm.

She disappears for
a while, reappears.
Uh-huh.

She wants to share her
blessings, adopt a child.

Sure. She's always
yearned to be a mother.

That's it.

Well, I don't see
why not.

Nothing in the
California statute

prohibits adoption
by one's own parent.
Mmm-hmm.

This is new ground.

Technically, she'd have
to give up the baby

to a third party.

Joe Silverman.

Joe Silverman. Exactly.

He's the foster father
for a few days.

She hands the kid to Joe,
he hands it back.

I'll do
some research.

All right.

NATALIE:
Mr. Mannix, it's 5:30.

This is exciting.

NATALIE: ...and asked all
of the assistant directors,
and one of them said

that an extra in the
courtyard of Sestimus
Amydias seemed jumpy.

All right. Get Walt
the name of the extra

so he can bring
him in and sweat him.

Walt should tell him that
we won't press charges

if he tells us where
Baird's been taken.

NATALIE: Check.

And if he plays dumb,
or the AD's wrong
and he is dumb,

check the other extras.

Check. Thessaly
Thacker called,
(SIGHS)

said you promised her an
interview with Baird today.

Check that. It was
Thora Thacker.

No, it's Thessaly.

Tell her he was at the
doctor longer than expected,

and she can see him
on the set bright
and early tomorrow.

Check. And is that
last part true?

Let's hope so.
Oh, that reminds me.

I need a list of
everyone who worked on

On Wings as Eagles
who's still at the studio.

On Wings as Eagles?
That's a while ago now.

Aside from Baird
and the director, it
won't be a long list.

Yeah. Get it
for me. That it?

Uh, no.
One more thing.

A Mr. Cuddahy called,

said you know him.
Yeah, yeah.

He said it's urgent,
he'll see you
one last time,

suggested same place,
7:00 this evening.

Why? Never mind.

Okay, tell him
I'll be there.

CAD: Back to your place?

WOMAN: What a bore.

Hello, C.C.

WOMAN: I rather thought
we might go to Lake...

Oh, hi, Eddie.

Wanna lace up what you got
on Merrily We Dance?

It's up now.
I'll put some
music on it.

(PROJECTOR WHIRRING)

(MUSIC PLAYING)

CAD: Taxi!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Back to your place?

What a bore.

I rather thought we
might go to Lake Onondaga
for the weekend.

Just the two of us.

Don't have my valise.
I left it in your foyer.

Oh, you'll get by
without a change.

Suits me.

If you don't mind
skipping out on your
own party, Allegra.

Suits me.

And skipping out on Monty.

That suits me as well.

Oh, poor Monty.
(BOTH CHUCKLING)

What Monty
doesn't know...

Won't hurt Monty.

DIERDRE: Oh, Monty.

Come join me
on the divan.

It seems Allegra's a no-show,
which is simply a bore.

But I'll...

(C.C CALHOUN CHOKING)

(FEEBLY) Reverse.

(STRAINING)
Reverse! Reverse!

(EXCLAIMING)

Whoa!

Whoa!
(CHAIR THUDS)

I shouldn't wear scarves.

It seems Allegra's a no-show,
which is simply a bore.

But I'll partner
you in bridge.

Why the pout?

(CLICKS TONGUE)

It's complicated.

How pleasant to see
you again, Mr. Mannix.

Thanks for
coming back, Mannix.

EDDIE: Sure.

You're taking us down
to the wire, aren't ya?

It's not a ploy,
it's a big decision.

Absolutely. No foul.

But the board
was concerned

when I couldn't
give them a yes
this afternoon,

so they authorized me
to say this.

You sign on, your term
of contract is 10 years.

(WHISTLES)

Yeah. You get it, right?

That means your
stock options are
guaranteed to vest.

You'd never
have to work again

if you chose to retire
after your term.

Think about it.

Lifetime employment.

You wouldn't be
a glorified working
stiff like you are now,

and you'd be
running a business,
not a circus.

Drink?

Cigarette?

No, no. I gotta run.

I should talk this
over with my wife.

Of course. Talk it over,
think about your family,

let us know
in the morning.

Oh ! (CHUCKLES)

If you think
this is a bribe,

you're absolutely right.

You have two kids, right?
A boy and a girl?

That's right.

They love this stuff.
Used to be trains.

(MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)

(MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)

CARLOTTA: Hello, Hobie.

Oh, hello, Carlotta.

Am I late?

Oh, no, it ain't nothin'.

Thanks an awful bunch
for coming to this picture
with me.

I don't know if
you like livestock,

but I think it's got
moments, I really do.

You look very purty.

Thank you, Hobie!

I'm sure I'll
like the picture.

I like all of your pictures.

Well, I like yours, too.

They are just
the craziest things.

Uh, is it hard to
dance with all them
bananas on your head?

Oh, no.
Anyone can do it.

It's all in the
hips and the lips and
the eyes and the thighs.

(DOOR OPENING)

Little Eddie
wanted me to tell you
about his baseball game.

They won.

That is terrific.

(SIGHS) Gosh, I never
called the coach.

Eddie played at shortstop?

Mmm. And he did
so well, he wants
to stay there now.

That's great.

Took care of itself.

And Darlene did
very well on her
Spanish test.

That's good.
She was worried
about that.

Hey, thanks for
heating up the roast,
hon.

Warm glass of milk?

Uh, no, thanks,
hon. Coffee.

I gotta run back
to the studio.

A few things
to take care of.

Gee, another late night.
Hmm.

You know, Lockheed
improved their offer.

Darned good money,

and the hours
wouldn't be crazy
like this either.

It's nice
to be wanted.

Yeah. Sure, but...

What do you think?
They wanna know tomorrow.

(SIGHS)

I like the shorter hours.

But what do
you think, honey?
You know best.

Hmm.

How's it going with
the smoking, dear?

Oh, you know...

NARRATOR: The denizens
of Los Angeles make ready
for nightlife, or for sleep.

But Eddie Mannix
will have neither.

Even in westerly Malibu,
the sun has moved on,

leaving the vast
and tireless sea

to heave itself
blindly upon the shore.

The communists welcome
a rare moment of leisure.

Brief surcease from struggle.

Baird Whitlock has
become their acolyte,

a convert to their cause,

his belief compelled
but not grudging.

He now seeks to learn more
from Professor Marcuse

and becomes
ever more committed

to the quest to hasten
an end to history

and bring on the New Man.

Herb, that's exactly
what I'm talking about.

That's what happened
to me when I went to
Reno with Danny Kaye,

and he asked me
to shave his back.

The exact same thing.

Because I'm thinking,
''Who benefits?''

Also, I gotta tell ya,
everybody thinks that
Danny is a jerk.

He's not really a jerk.

It's just
the theory generating
its own anti-theory.

Anyway, there we were,
it's me and Danny,

and I'm wondering
what the hell am I doing

with a razor
in my hand.

And he says it's for
a Norman Taurog picture.

But Judy Canova is there,
and she knows Norman.

She says, ''Danny's not doing
a Norman Taurog picture.

''He just wants you
to shave his back!''

And that's who benefits.

NARRATOR:
In livelier precincts,

the swells of Dreamland
gather to inspect

the completed weave
of another piece of gossamer.

Another movie,

another portion of balm

for the ache of
a toiling mankind.

CURLY: Where is she?

Hold your horses,
I'm right here.

What's on your
mind, Curly?

CURLY: It's not my fault
you saw me take

that pie off the sill,
Ms. McGraw.

Not your fault? Whose
fault was it, Curly?

Why, that crazy,
lazy full moon!

Two weeks ago, you'd
never seen me take it.

(CHUCKLES)

Darn you, moon!
What good are you anyway?

Don't know
about this part.

They only give me
one shot at the song.

I wish there
never was no moon.

I wish there weren't
no bossy old women!

Don't blame that moon,
Curly. She can't do
nothin' but shine.

(SINGING)
Lazy ol' moon,
keep shinin'

Darn you.

HOBIE:
Shinin' down on me

You turned Curly Strimlin
in to the authorities
for the last time!

HOBIE: Lazy ol' moon,
keep shinin'

Shinin' just to be

On that ol' plantation
where I used to roam

Light my weary
way back home

Darn! Where'd she go?

HOBIE: Lazy ol' moon,
keep shinin'

Shinin' down for me

(SIRENS WAILING)

NARRATOR:
Another part of town,
another cast of characters,

another task
for Eddie Mannix.

We're just
getting started.

I've been taking
DeeAnna through this.

So Joe has done

just a whole lot of
good work for us
in the past.

Whenever we've
needed a witness or
a third party for...

I don't know,
a petition of grievance
or alienation of affection.

And he's reliable?

I'm bonded, miss.

Joseph Silverman is the
most reliable human being

on the planet
in our experience.

When Chubby Cregar
was intoxicated

and hit that
pedestrian on Gower,

we had the vehicle title
transferred to Joe's name,

and Joe did six months
in LA County lockup.

But you're off
the sauce now?

I never touch it.
It was a legal fiction.

That's right.

When the studio needs
someone who meets

the legal standard of, uh...

How did you put it, Sid?

Personhood.

Joe steps in and
acts as the person.

So you're a
professional person?

That's right, miss.
Initial here and here.

SID: Joe will be the
foster parent until
such time as

you adopt the child,

which you can do as
soon as Joe takes
possession of it.

And he's reliable?

I'm bonded, miss.

The release papers
you're signing

will not be a matter
of public record.

All these documents
will be sealed until
the year 2015.

And no one's
the wiser.

SID: No one the wiser.

No fans, no press,
no court officials,
not even a notary public.

EDDIE: Joe himself
is the notary.

You must have
very strong forearms.

Is it hard
squeezing it like that?

It's part of the job, miss.

Late night, Mr. Mannix?

Late night for both of us.

Will you call
Projection Seven
and have them

lace up yesterday's
dailies on Hail, Ceasar!

Sure thing.
Yesterday's?

Thanks, Scotty.

(GRUNTING)

AUTOLOCHUS:
Romans before slaves!
Make room, you fools!

Romans before slaves!

Romans before slaves!

Make room!

How's that?
What do you think?
DIRECTOR: Cut!

CLAPPER BOY: 27, Baker two.

DIRECTOR: Action.

Go ahead,
I'm listening.

Walt talked to the
extra. Right guy.

No info. Doesn't know
where they took Baird,

but described the truck
they put him in.

DIRECTOR: Cut! Good!

Walt found the guy
who owns the truck
and is talking to him.

CLAPPER BOY: Baker four.

Walt's a problem-solver.
He's a good man.
DIRECTOR: Action!

What else?

PR just called in
their report on the
Hobie Doyle premiere.

Warm reception.

I got something...
I had spittle.
Good.

CLAPPER BOY: Baker six.
DIRECTOR: Action.

Okay.
He's terrific.

DIRECTOR: Squint! Squint
against the grandeur.

It's blinding! Blinding!

(MUSIC PLAYING)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

HOBIE: Now, let's see
what we can do here.

Okay.

Well, I don't think
it's regulation size,
but it'll have to do.

You ever heard of origami,
what the Japanese do?
Uh-huh.

This here's
Italian origami.

Yeah?

See, now you just...
Whoop!

Let's see how
she does now.

Oh, she's peekin' back.

Oh ! There she goes.

(LAUGHING)

She's bawlin'.

Clear!
Ah !

This is why I never
order it with meat sauce.

How'd you get into
pictures, Hobie?

Got roped into it.

(LAUGHING) Stop!

Don't play
with your food.

Food !

You're the one
playing with it.

Stop it!

Pictures. Well,
I wrangled for a while,

and then they saw I
could say a line or two,

and I was Bad Clem
or Deputy Number Two

or a guy's buddy
for a couple of years,

and then someone
heard me sing and
they made me the guy.

You're awfully cute.

Oh, heck, you ain't
seen the half of it.
I'll show you cute.

Just a second here,
a little souvenir
from my rodeo days.

(LAUGHING)

Tell you what,
I was steer-bustin',

and I went down and
the steer went up,

and my teeth headed
off for east Texas.

Here, it's coming
around again.

Whoo!

(SINGING)
You gotta give a little

Take a little

BOTH: And let your poor
heart break a little

That's the story of...

CARLOTTA:
That's the glory of love

You gotta laugh a little,
cry a little

And let the clouds
roll by a...

Well, now,
this is interesting.

I didn't know you
two were friends.

Oh, heck, yeah.

We just caught my
picture Lazy Ol' Moon,
and I guess we're...

Yes, we're
friends. We're...

We're fixin'
to be friendly,
tell you that.

That's good.

''Fixin' to be friendly.''

That can be my
column headline.

Oh, I guess
that'd be okay.

Have a good evening.

(EXHALES)

I mentioned
the name of my picture.

I think we're
supposed to do that.

Well, now,
this is interesting.

I thought I was getting
an exclusive on this.

I'd like to know
what the hell is
going on here.

Oh, well, like
I said, we just saw
Lazy OI' Moon, and...

And Hobie and I are
fixin' to be friendly.

What?
HOBIE: We're just...

THORA: Friends, my foot!

What's the matter, Hobie?

I gotta skedaddle.
So sorry.
Oh !

Have to catch one of
your pictures next time.

I'm looking
forward to it.

CARLOTTA: Bye, Hobie.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Hey, toss me
them keys, pard.

I'm taking the car.

Hobie Doyle?

You're a communist, too?

So, it's commies.

You ever been
in this place?
Pretty nice, huh?

It's Burt Gurney's.

He sings, he dances,
he's got taste.

You here alone?

Everybody else went
down to the beach.

Well, all right, pard.

Let's us head on
back to town.

You got Mr. Mannix
worried sick.

(DOG BARKING)

Easy.

Easy.

Here!

(EXHALES)

(WATER GURGLING)

(SONAR BEEPING)

(BARKING)

Take care of him.

Comrade. Comrade!

We salute you.

You are going to Moscow
to become Soviet Man

and help forge the future.

We stay behind,
continuing to serve
in our disguise

as capitalist handmaidens.

But the money should
go to the cause,

not to the servants
of the cause.

ALL: Yes!
That's right.

We... Well...

Our modest contribution
to the Comintern.

They will be pleased.

(ENGELS BARKING)

No! No!

Engels!

(ALL GASPING)

(WHIMPERING) No.

(ALL SIGHING)

(SUBMARINE SIRENS BLARING)

(MEN GRUNTING)

(SONAR BEEPING)

Oh.

BAIRD: Oh, boy! It's late.
I'm in the doghouse.

Better forget
about my place.

Drop me off
at the Beverly Hills Hotel.
(POLICE SIRENS BLARING)

HOBIE: All righty.

Huh.

Who are you?

Todd.

Todd.

You get a hot breakfast
or a box breakfast?

I don't know.

Are you a principal
or an extra?

I think
I'm a principal.

Yeah.

BAIRD: I'm thinking,
''What the hell?''

Woken up in some
strange houses before,

but never without
a broad next to me.

Mmm-hmm.
These guys are
pretty interesting, though.

They've actually
figured out the laws
that dictate everything.

History, sociology,
politics, morality,
everything.

It's all in a book
called Kapital, with a ''K.''

That right?

Yeah. And you're not
gonna believe this.

These guys even figured out

what's going on
here at the studio,

because the studio
is nothing more

than an instrument
of capitalism.
Hmm.

Yeah, so we
blindly follow these laws
like any other institution,

laws that these
guys figured out.

The studio makes pictures
to serve the system.

That is its function.

That's really what
we're up to here.

Is it?
Yeah.

It's just confirming what
they call the ''status quo.''

I mean, we may
tell ourselves that
we're creating

something of artistic value,

or there's some sort
of spiritual dimension
to the picture business.

But what it really is,
is this fat cat,

Nick Schenk,
out in New York,

running this factory,
serving up these
lollipops to the...

What they used to
call the bread and
circuses for the...

What...

(GRUNTS)

Now, you listen
to me, buster.

Nick Schenk and this studio
have been good to you

and to everyone else
who works here.

If I ever hear
you bad-mouthing
Mr. Schenk again,

it will be the last
thing you say

before I have you
tossed in jail

for colluding in
your own abduction.

Eddie, I wouldn't...
I would never do that!

Shut up!

You're gonna go out
there and you're gonna
finish Hail, Ceasar!

You're gonna
give that speech

at the feet of the
penitent thief,

and you're gonna believe
every word you say.

(GRUNTING)

You're gonna do it
because you're an actor

and that's what you do,

just like the director
does what he does,

and the writer
and the script girl

and the guy who
claps the slate.

You're gonna do it
because the picture
has worth !

And you have worth if
you serve the picture,

and you're never gonna
forget that again.

(MUMBLING)

I won't forget, Eddie.

You're damn right
you won't.

Not as long as
I run this dump.

(DOOR OPENS)
Baird.

Go out there
and be a star.

NATALIE: Mr. Mannix!

Since you're
going to your car,

I thought you might
wanna take this.

What is it?

From DeeAnna Moran.

Thank you, and she
doesn't need to

adopt her baby
after all.

Huh?

She asked
Joe Silverman out
for dinner last night,

and I guess
it went well.

They drove to
Palm Springs

and were married at
3:00 this morning.

Huh.
(SIGHS)

Will you be gone long?
Today's call list to
go through.

No, less than an hour.
Personal errand.

It's a nice arrangement.

She charged it
to the studio.

Right. (GASPS)

Just coming to see you.

Good morning. Uh...

Sorry about last night,
Thora. I didn't know your
sister would show up.

Well, that's as may be,
but I certainly learned
my lesson.

Whatever you say today,
Eddie Mannix,

my column tomorrow
is about

On Wings as Eagles.

Thora, I wouldn't do
that if I were you.

I'm sure you wouldn't.

No, no, no, you
don't understand.
Let's sit down.

I'm telling you not to
run the column, Thora,
for your own good.

(LAUGHS)

I can judge
my own interest.

This will be
the story of the year.

And it so happens
the Hearst syndicate

are looking to pick up
a Hollywood column.

And you think this
will cinch it for you?

You know it will.

Baird Whitlock,
your biggest star,

got his first major part
in On Wings as Eagles

by engaging in sodomy

with the picture's director,
Laurence Laurentz.

Oh, we've all
heard the story.

But here's something
you haven't heard.

Your source
is a communist.

If you print it,
it'll be dismissed

as a commie smear tactic,

and you'll be dismissed
as a commie stooge.

Burt Gurney has
left the country.

The cell he was
part of has been
smashed by the police.

Might have thought
he was credible

because he's Mr. Laurentz's
current protégé,

but you don't want to be
seen as Burt Gurney's
mouthpiece after this.

How did you know
Burt was my source?

Late last night,
I talked to Laurence,

put two and two together.

Well, no reason to send this
since I ran into you.

It's my way of apology
for Thessaly horning
in last night.

I do value
our friendship, Thora,

but I'm late for
something important.

(GOAT BLEATING)

(WOMAN SOBBING)

(THUNDER RUMBLES)

Why on your knees before
this Hebrew, Autolochus?

I encountered him
before, Gracchus.

Beside the well
of Jehosaphat.

And what manner of man.

He's a priest of
the Israelites,

despised even by
the other priests.

No.

On yesterday's march,

punished by the
dust of the road,

I sought to drink
first at the well,

before the slaves
in my charge,

whose thirst was far
greater than my own.

A Roman drinks
before a slave.

This man was
giving water to all.

He saw no Roman,
he saw no slave.

He saw only men, weak men,
and gave succor.

He saw suffering,
which he sought to ease.

He saw sin,
and gave love.

Love, Autolochus?

He saw my own sin,
Gracchus, and greed.

But in his eyes, I saw
no shadow of reproach.

I saw only light.

The light of God.

You mean,
of the gods.

I do not, friend Gracchus.

This Hebrew is
a son of the one God.

The God of this
far-flung tribe.

And why shouldn't
God's anointed appear here

among these strange people,
to shoulder their sins?

Here, Gracchus,
in this sun-drenched land.

Why should He
not take this form,

the form of
an ordinary man?

A man bringing us
not the old truths,

but a new one.

A new truth?

AUTOLOCHUS: A truth beyond
the truth that we can see.

A truth beyond this world.

A truth told
not in words,
but in light.

A truth that we could see
if we had but...

If we had but...

Cut! Cut! ''Faith !
Have but faith !''

(BELL RINGING)
''Faith.''

''Faith. Faith !''
God damn it!

Go one again.
Isn't it...

They changed it.

You got most of it, man.
You're all right.

All right, hang on.
(SIGHS)

Can I get a pat down?
I'm sweating like
a pig in this thing.

Ah, son of a bitch !

(SIGHS)

Bless me, Father,
for I have sinned.

How long since your
last confession,
my son?

It's been,
what, 27 hours.

It's really
too often, my son.

You're not
that bad.

I don't know, Father.

I snuck a cigarette.
Or two.

I didn't make it home
in time for dinner.

(SIGHS)

And I, uh, struck
a movie star in anger.

All right.

Five Hail Marys.

Okay.

Okay.

Father?

Yes, my son.

May I ask you
something, Father?

Of course, my son.

If there's something
that's easy,

is that wrong?

Easy?

Yeah, easy to do.

Easy to...

Like, an easy job.

No, it's not a bad job.
It's not bad.

But, then,
there's this other job
that's not so easy.

No, in fact, it's hard.

It's so hard, Father...

Sometimes I don't know
if I can keep doing it,

but it seems right.

I don't know
how to explain.

God wants us to
do what's right.

Yeah.

Yeah, of course
He does.

The inner voice that
tells you what's right,

it comes from God,
my son.

Yeah, I got it.

That's His way
of saying that...

Yeah, yeah,
I got it.

NATALIE:
Still raining in
Gallup, New Mexico.

And the Tucumcari crew
has shot all the plates

we need for
Came the Rain.

Well, just shoot the
showdown in the weather
and we'll retitle it.

Tucumcari Tempest,
Desert Squall,
Hold Back The Storm.

NARRATOR:
The stories begin,
the stories end.

I don't know,
bounce it off
the writers.

NARRATOR: So it has been.

Here's today's
call list.

Add a call to a
Mr. Cuddahy at the
Lockheed Corporation.

Long call?
Short?

''Thanks, but no thanks.''
How long was that?

NARRATOR:
But the story
of Eddie Mannix...

Who do we
call first?

...will never end.

New York first.

Time to check in
with Mr. Schenk.

NARRATOR: For his is a tale
written in light everlasting.

(SIRENS WAILING)