All language subtitles for City.of.Queens.2021.720p.WEB.h264-KOGi_Track03

[woman reciting]
My son is gay.

Stands out in a crowd.

Does his makeup better than I.

My son is gay and I am proud.

My son is abused...

[attacker 1]
Back the fuck off.

-[man 1] Back the fuck off.
-[man 2] What am I doing?

[woman]
...by individuals and crowds

[man 1] Delete that.
Are you fucking dumb? Delete it.

[woman]
My son is my son.

My son has your spit
on his face...

[man 1] Back the fuck off.

[woman]
Your pint over his head.

[man 2]
Delete that, delete that!

[woman]
He walks head held high.

My son is my son.

My son bears the marks

of your fists on his face.

Carries the scars
from your verbal punches.

My son is my son
and I am proud.

This is what happens
on a night out.

[classical piano playing]

[piano continues playing]

[drag 1] It starts with getting
stressed out about the makeup

because the eye lashes
aren't gluing down properly.

With some disco music on
and a bit of Prosecco.

No, not Prosecco
because I can't afford it

-Ehm...
-Five pounds from Lidl.

What?

You left this lidless.

[drag 2] It's like
a childhood dream basically

living in a house
where you just play dress up

and have sleepovers.

Oh, Disco!

Beauty blender.

Every fucking time.

I'm Tommy, I'm 24

and then my drag name
is Bimini Bon Boulash.

And she jumps into the splits
as well all the time.

There's not much difference
between her
and her character to be honest.

She's always on the floor,
jumping into the splits,

picking up honey like--

[laughter]

No! Get in your bed.

Stay!

Yeah, so I had
thyroid cancer when I was 17

and then again at 19.

It did give me this attitude

of ?I don't give
a fuck anymore.?

Don't care about making
a fool of myself anymore

falling over,
or having one of my balls

hanging out like,
it's all part of it now.

So I think it's given me
that broader aspect on life

that has allowed me to do drag.

I started drag originally

when I was selling underwear
on Craigslist.

And then I created
this character called Chuck

who was like
a masculine character

so I guess that was
my first experience of drag,

and then I kind of
from that started

from doing the lip sync...

started developing
a female character called Barbs.

Oh my God,
Disco's had that one.

Okay. I'm Luke,
I'm 26, aka Camile Leon.

With the Camile Leon,
it's like the two together

combine to make this reptilian
X-Men mutant thing

that is my superhero.

[laughter]

She's loving,
she's adorable.

We've all got a completely
different style of drag.

It's amazing.

[woman shouting]
Oh ladies, don't leave!

You look fantastic.

[Barbs] We're always
together which is nice.

That helps the confidence a lot.

When you walk out the house

with five or six drag queens

all stumbling down the road

it's a really great way
to build confidence.

[drag] I never really
felt like I belonged.

So I just kind
of like float around.

I usually just get ready
on my own.

I go to the club with Vinny

and Veto who I live with

and they don't normally do drag.

They do now and then

but I normally
just go in drag on my own

and then I'll see people there.

It's really taught me
that you can express yourself

and not be fearful about it

and really be unapologetic.

Because I was always
finding faults with myself

and finding reasons to be sorry
for things I haven't done.

And once you learn
to let go of that

you can really just be you then.

The thing
I've been so lucky to do

and a lot of gay people
and drag queens are the same

you get to choose your friends

and you get
to choose your family.

I think that's
so important as well

'cause I just surrounded
myself with creative people

from all different aspects
and walks of life.

[drag] My name is Jack

but wigs and duck tape later

I am Jacqui Swallows.

I am 21, I've been a drag queen

for coming up three years.

Three years, shit.

I was an annoyingly
cocky little kid.

My sister used
to go to ballet classes

and I used
to sit there in the show

and be like, ?I don't think
that was very good.?

I was probably quite nasty,
I would tell her

I would do things
better than she did.

And then my mum said,
"All right then."

One day and she took me
to ballet classes

and then I was a ballet dancer
for nearly eight years.

I went to
The Royal Ballet School

and then I went
on tour for a while.

I went on tour with the Royal
Ballet Company, that was cool.

And so I've always kind
of been a bit performy.

So I guess drag was kind
of my way back into performing.

It still baffles me
that my parents were shocked

when I came out.

[Jacqui]
No, he's cute to be fair.

He's got one of those faces
that I'd ride

like a stolen bike,
ladies and gents.

Aggressively and feet first.

Jacqui kind of came about
because...

as an individual I've always
been someone who enjoys...

laughing and funny

and that ridiculously
dirty humor.

I'm the one that sits
on the Piccadilly line

and laughs when it says
the train's going to
Cockfosters.

Just because it's funny.

So it kind of came about
this kind of...

this slightly larger
than life old dirty mouth

kind of Hyacinth Bouquet

crossed with Samantha
from Sex and the City.

Which is kind of terrifying
when you think about it but...

it seems to work.

[drag]
Fat queer bearded Muslim...

Child of migrants.

I am The Nightbus,
that's my drag name.

I'm a drag queen
based in London.

I'm a storyteller.

Initially they were stories
to do with myself,

whether it's to do
with my identity

or my mental health

or how I felt about myself

in perspective
of the environment I was in.

As I've gone on over five years

it's more to do
with telling the stories

of other people
who don't have an opportunity

to tell their story.

* Paki, Paki, Paki,
Paki, Paki, Paki *

[audience cheers]

So there are so many things
that I can say...

in a feminized version of myself

that I wouldn't be able
to say if I was a boy.

And that connects a little bit
to also being a boy

who is Muslim and brown

and often labelled
as a terrorist

which has happened quite a lot
throughout my life.

So my voice doesn't matter
as much as someone else's

because people will dismiss me
as being either a danger

or a threat, or somebody
that they don't want
to interact with.

However if you're
in a feminized version of that

they will listen to you.

This is where it connects
with the idea of misogyny

because it's less threatening,
because it's a female voice

and I hate that idea

but the only way
that I can sort of embrace it

is by championing it.

-[soft piano]
-[indistinct chat]

[Barbs] Today we're going
to King's Cross

to play some piano.

[piano playing
classical music]]

Classical music
is still so inaccessible.

In classical music we're still
having the conversation

about female composers
and whether or not

women can compose

and I think it's disgusting.

I mean I don't think
classical music is quite--

the classical music scene is
quite ready yet for drag,

but I think classical music
as itself has been

quite queer for a long time.

But it's not really anything
that's addressed much.

[piano continues playing]

So I don't really know
what to expect from today.

I remember the last time
I played on these pianos

I ended up spending like an hour

teaching 5-year old how to play

?Mary had a Little Lamb'

which was really cute.

So that may happen today,
who knows.

I don't know, hopefully they'll
be like ?Ah that's nice?

or they might think
it's unusual

because not every day you see
a drag queen in a wedding dress

playing piano
on Sunday lunchtime.

And that's the thing as well,
I'm very used to being

in the dark or being
in a club setting so...

And it's nice to show
people outside that setting

what we do and drag queens
aren't just all vulgar people

that make
jokes and roll around,

which is exactly
what I do as well

but we can do
other stuff as well.

And also I think it's quite fun

because a lot of people
don't expect

a drag queen to be able
to do that sort of things.

Even a lot of my friends
don't know I play piano,

so it's always a nice treat

when I can whip it out

and show people.

So I don't know what people
will take from it

but I think
something positive hopefully.

[drag]
I always dressed up as a kid

I was always very big
on dressing up.

A really significant moment
within my childhood

is wanting to be a witch,
not like a vampire,

and my mother
dressing me up as a witch.

I was very...

just theatrical,
a very theatrical kid

quite introverted
but really theatrical.

I was just always felt
much more...

drawn or tied to the monsters.

I thought they were cooler.

They, they were more interesting

and the costumes are better

and I look back now

and I know that the women
were so much better.

The villainous female
was just so much cooler

than the...

the good getters
or the heroines

at least in my opinion.

[Woman] What's your name

-I'm Barbs.
-[woman] Barbs?

Yeah, like Barbara.

[giggles]

[man] I would think
more like Barbarella.

Barbarella, yeah that's it.

That's why you chose it
I assume?

I love the name Barbara
as well

[woman] Do you want some help?
I do costumes?

-Oh, yes please.
-[man] I see what--

I have ruined this dress.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm gonna go to the piano

if you wanna come see me play.

Come see me,
in the middle bit.

I mean hopefully if there's
a little queer out there

I think they'd find it great
because if I saw someone

doing that when I was
a bit younger and not out

I think it would've been
really helpful

and quite cute to see as well.

Especially as well,
doing something like this

it's like young people
can't go to clubs

16-year olds can't go to clubs,
teenagers can't go to clubs.

So, often a lot
of that culture is missed

until you're a lot later
and then the whole experience

comes around of getting
fucked or getting drunk.

So it would be quite nice
to have people

who wouldn't normally see it.

or even
older generations of people

who may really appreciate
classical music

but who have never really
seen a drag queen.

I think maybe it would be quite
nice for them to experience too.

'cause they don't often
get the chance

to go to a gay bar every weekend

and see drag queens.

I think it will be nice

a little Sunday treat.

[objects ruttling]

Okay, I'll do mascara last.

[man]
You're very beautiful Barbs

and I am very much going
to enjoy you playing

[Barbs] I'm a bit nervous.

For what?
Why are you nervous?

-[Barbs sighs]
-[man] Just drama

just adding to the drama.

It's changed
what confidence is for me.

It's empowering,
it's really beautiful.

I have to look inwards
for confidence not outward.

I don't have to look for
other people's confidence

which is funny because drag
is all about outward

and people looking at you,

and that's part
of the big thing of it.

But in fact it was
absolutely the opposite.

It was drag changing the inside

and just the outlook
of what I needed to be

and what I wanted to be.

You grow up
being told you're wrong

and then you're
always going to have

those inner clockworks
that make you feel bad

and mine are particularly nasty.

I was just brought up
by people

who weren't completely
ready to be parents

or didn't have the best
experience themselves

of parenthood or childhood.

I would never want a child,

unless I was in a really good
place to have a kid.

But I think it's just
the culture of that time

just to have children.

That's just it,
if you get pregnant

you just have the child.

Which I find maddening

but I'm a big sissy, you know,

so what kid am I going
to produce very shortly?

When my stepfather came along

there was a very big brother
little brother relationship

kind of I idolized him.

He was cool,
he had a motorbike,

he was like a big brawny guy

and my early memories
of him are that

and then they're two sided
with his aggression

and like him and my mother
violently fighting.

This is!
I made this from scratch.

This is, I had this--
I was listening to the song

"Lovefool" by The Cardigans

and I was like,
"This is such a weird song."

She's so obsessed

with being
this fool for this person.

Then I was like,
"Oh she's mad.

Oh she's absolutely crazy,
she's batshit crazy."

And so I was like,
"What if she's really crazy?"

I was like, "What if...

Leatherface didn't kill people
but did drag instead

and then later on
killed people?"

I wear this kind of like really
wholesome '50s dress

and I like drop it
and then underneath it is this.

And then...

half way through

the number I take-?

I have a big dummy behind me

and I take it off

and it's like
my boyfriend's face.

One significant moment
is that I heard them fighting

and I heard a huge smash

it sounded like somebody
had been thrown into a wall

and there was
a lot of glass I could hear

and I crawled out of my bedroom,
which was next door to theirs

and I picked up the phone
and I called 999

and I didn't really know
what to do.

So I just put the phone down
and then got back into my room.

And obviously 999
called back immediately

and... my mom picks up

and she's like,
"No, nothing's wrong."

And the next day
I was getting ready for school

and she said,
"You're never to call ever

unless one of us
has like fallen down the stairs"

I think her example was.

I remember being really confused

because it was obvious
that there was something wrong.

It was just like,
that was normal.

That was just what was.

Yeah, it was hard
when you're in that situation

and you feel like you're nothing

and you're being told
by your carer

or at least you're being
made to feel

like a piece of shit
by your carer.

And that the other person,
who is your mother

hasn't got the tools

to help you communicate
what needs to be.

But the end of it was,
we had a massive row

I was just at the end of it
and I packed my car

and I went to stay
with my real dad,

my biological dad.

Two weeks later
the SWAT team came in

and raided the house

and...

that was
when the court case started.

[TV anchor] They both denied
their guilt to the end.

[reporter] You got anything
to say Mrs Rogers?

Anything to say to the victims?

[Woman] They are not guilty.

They were running
a financial business

which essentially
was a loan business

a finance business
and they were loaning out money

at very high interests
in cash to people

often people who were very
in need of money very quickly

who couldn't pay it back.

Basically the violence
that we were seeing at home

was the same
as what they were getting.

Though the charges were rape

there was... GBH?

Grievous bodily harm?
Yeah

And my mother
got dragged into it

She was working for him and...

she went down
for blackmail I think it was.

I witnessed some bad stuff
he did to people.

The way he spoke to people
and the things he did.

He was a bully.

I'm just surrounded

by a lot of kind of chaos.

I think I'm always
tied towards like...

the dark or like monsters

or just like anything
that was different

because we were different.

They were different,
I was different.

The reason
I'm so interested in...

villains and monsters
from an early age is perhaps

I was trying to understand

the kind of unusual characters

I was around who might look
like villains in some eyes.

Ooh, didn't see you there.

But it made me who I was.

It made me really strong.

I don't know many people
as strong as I am.

I might be an anxious mess.

I might be depressed
a lot of days

but everything I have,
I built myself

and like where I am today
in my career

all the wonderful things
I've done, I did myself.

I did this.

And I'm proud of me.

[Chai Latte] We have talked
about this so many times.

[woman on phone] I know.
I don't know where I came out

of the tube so I got off
at Seven Sisters

[laughing]
Well you got that far

[woman] And I got out
of the train station

and got out into a place
that I've never seen before

and I don't know
how I got there.

Okay, all right well
we'll see you shortly then yeah?

Just knock on the door loudly.

[woman sighs]

[Matt] So your mum's
never seen you in drag before.

How are you feeling?

Ehm, excited mostly.

I know I'm not scared
that much

because I know
she'll accept me for whatever.

I feel like it's going to be
a weight lifted because it's--

I've always had
a bit of a distance

between my drag and my mom.

I've always kept
that little bit of distance

but it 's kind of exciting
because a lot of my drag

and my inspiration
comes from my mom

so it will be like...

where the inspiration
came from almost

those two things
coming together.

So yeah, big deal.

-[Chai] Hi.
-[Alby giggles]

I'm gonna cry.

[Chai] Why are you gonna cry?

[Alby] Look at you.

[Chai] Ohhh.

-How you feeling?
-Yeah, good.

You look great!

I love your eyes.

Can you do
my makeup for me?

Yes, I can make mamma
a drag queen.

[giggles]

-Ah, you're going to smudge it.
-I won't smudge it.

[indistinct chatter]

[Alby] I just want him
to be able to find his niche.

-Found it, being a woman.
-So, yeah.

So long as he's happy
and excited

and can express himself,

in a way?

where my baby feels happy

then that's what counts,
isn't it?

Elric grew up watching
"Priscilla Queen of the Desert."

It's one of my favorite films

[laughing] so yeah...

[laughs]

The inspiration for my drag
comes from my mother

because growing up

seeing her in these massive
platform tweeny shoes

and big fluffy hats

that had like tassels
coming down them.

Growing up and seeing
my mom wearing that

and watching her get abused

like not physically

but verbally from moving cars,

in front of her child...

So to see her doing that

and to still go out the next day

wearing an even more
ridiculous outfit

with bright pink hair
or short black and green hair.

To see that, that power

and that not willing to give in,

is what I draw on when I go out.

What would mamma do?

[Alby] I've been
a firm believer of...

not letting people
put you in a box.

So like he says,
the more people shout at you

the more I used
to dye my hair and stuff

and...

wear my velvet flares and?

-[Alby laughs]
-I loved it.

I forgot those.

[Alby] It never affected me
when I was being shouted at,

I never had it to the extent
that Elric says he had it.

I always worried about
the effect it had on Elric

so I was always very
conscious not about myself

but the fact
that people are doing that

to me in front of my child

and how he viewed or saw that

and what he would
take away from that.

I didn't ever want him
ever to growing up

feeling that he had to be afraid

of what other people
were saying.

So I just used to say
that they were jealous

[both laugh]

...because they didn't have
the courage to wear

what I was wearing.

I said they probably
looked at it and thought

?That looks really cool

but I haven't got
the guts to wear it

so I'm just gonna
shout at her?.

So that's what I used
to tell him

and I hoped that that
would help and sink in?

-And now I'm a drag queen.
-And now you're a drag queen.

So it obviously did.

Yeah, it did.

I always wear football socks
with my heels because...

ehm...

when I started I definitely
didn't get paid enough

to be spending a whole night
in heels without any protection

So I would always wear my socks

and it makes
the world of difference.

I try to make everything
as easy as possible

for me in life and...

So I just try and brand myself
on being like a shit drag queen

[giggles]
where I don't really tuck or pad

or... wear heels
without sports socks

and then
try to make that my brand

so that I can do--
Oh fuck!

Look what I just did.

I'll just cover it up
with some brown.

So as well yeah,
it's a bit of a homage

to my former life.

When I was younger,
when I was at Uni

I used to sell used socks
and underwear on Craigslist.

I always thought,
"there's money to be made

and if I don't do
it then someone else will

and I don't care what they do
with my underwear."

And also I found it really
really interesting

being part of someone's
most intimate secret

and then for like ten minutes

when I'd meet them
and give them the underwear

and then I leave, that's it.

That's the only interaction
I had with them.

I found it really fascinating
and I kept a little journal

of all the interactions
and people I sold underwear to.

Taxi drivers,
Uber drivers, teachers...

I created this guy
who was like super masculine

called Chuck.

So he was like
my first ever...

drag experience or my first time

exploring gender
in terms of performance.

So people liked football socks

or I'd tell people

that I'd worn the socks
in the gym for ages?

which I hadn't.

Yeah, that's what seemed
to sell more

so I was like "Okay, well
I'll create this character."

And then
I became a drag queen.

Because being more feminine

is more fun than being masculine

and the clothes
are nicer as well.

[Camile] Everyone
is a chameleon.

You know Camile is
just my feminine subconscious

that I bring to life

when Luke's not always needed

but she's given Luke the balls
to do what he does as well

because when I take this off
that was all me

you know,
that was all me all along.

Working as a hairdresser
with clients

how just giving someone
a blow dry can set them up

for a whole good day.

Obviously your hair
is the first accessory

you wake up with every day

so like being able

to give someone
the time and the effort

to give them
that kind of self promotion

and look at themselves
through that whole time

and through this service and go

"You know what?
I'm gonna make it."

Hairdressing grounds me

because I can always
relate to someone.

There's always something

that someone's got
that is relatable.

Doing someone's hair

it's not doing the root
of their hair problem

it's getting to the root
of their actual problem.

The left frontal cortex
holds a lot of emotions

It's that why people
recede, you know?

Is that why people
have emotional barriers?

It takes a very special skill
and that's my superpower

at that root problem,
at that hair

and just make them
feel beautiful

because they are beautiful,
everyone's beautiful.

[gentle music]

Throughout the past year
drag has been a great influence

because I didn't do any like
dance training or like acting.

It's nice to work
on the aesthetic

and its nice to work
on what your face can do.

I think it's a good form
of escapism.

It gets rid of those barriers,

barriers that we put up
on ourselves

that we don't realize we have.

Even if we wanna
keep the barriers up

let's just paint them,
or decorate them.

My aesthetic is

to really feminize
who I am as a person

to show myself as a flip side,
my masculine and feminine.

I just put my dial
all the way up to max

and just go, "This is it."

But some people only go to seven
or three and that's fine.

But I have had,
I think, an argument

with probably
every drag queen on the scene.

[indistinct chatter]

Drag drama, which is
a double D not for me.

Margo was telling me
the other day

that she works very hard
from Thursday to Sunday

and gets to sleep
Monday to Wednesday

at least you know
until 2pm in the afternoon

[Camile] This bitch is--

Shut up!
You're ruining my story, bitch.

Okay, edit that bit out.

And scene.

I said some
would call that depression

but we just call it drag.

Oh wait we, you know what?

Something's wrong
with this community

and it's like we want
to say that our lives

are in the best places.

At least we can say

we do what we get to do--

Oh she's getting sentimental.

We at least get to do
what we really wanna do

and enhance
other people's like emphasis.

We just emphasize,
we just got the stereo player.

Do you know what I mean?

That's what's good,
that's what isn't good--

I just love wearing no clothes.

That's Margo hears
walking down the street
?Fuck off Margo.?

They hate talent,
allergic obviously.

Look at them all.

You know what drag's taught

especially me with Margo?

It's that you learn how to build

bridges because you love someone

just as much
as you hate someone--

[laughing]
Are you listening to this?

No, because it is... it is--

It gets me to relieve
some of my sensitivity

because I wouldn't
have been able to hear that

from anyone else's mouth.

But I love it
because it comes from an angle

where I'm striving
for every much position

that we can just excel
with each other.

I got lost
in that 9-year essay but--

-Ying yang!
-...I loved it.

Ying Yang, up and down,
in and out.

Just the way I like it.

I'm here to support
every single person

because every person is unique.

* Everybody have fun,
Yeah, yeah *

A lot of trans women
would not like

to be called a drag queen

would not like to be
put into the same category

as a drag queen
because we're very different

but I want to prove

that you can be trans
and visible trans

but also be visibly
in drag as well.

When I first started
to transition

I struggled with maybe
looking like a drag queen

or being confused
as a drag queen

because they are very different

but as much as they're separate

they can be intertwined

and that's what I like
to try and prove.

I suppose I came on the scene
still struggling with drag

because I really wanted
to do drag but I still felt

that I had transitioned
for a reason

so why would I do drag?

I was a freelance
makeup artist at the time

and I was bored of giving people

the opportunity to be amazing

and not giving myself
that opportunity.

So I assessed the situation.

I had met drag queens

and I decided
to just say "fuck it"

and go for it and do it.

It was a total escape
from my own gender

and my own worries
about who I am.

When I'm in drag
I'm really not worried

about coming across
as a woman

I'm just there to have fun

and sometimes before I did drag

I felt like
when I was going out

I almost was setting myself
a rule book.

How I have to sit,
how I have to talk

how I have to present myself.

Just because you are a man
you don't have to be masculine,

just because you're a woman
you don't have to be feminine.

You don't,
you can do as you please.

We are the voices and faces
of the LGBT community

and I'm proud to say that.

[Envy] My drag character
or personas

will mix and fleet
and the kind of Johnny character

that has many faces

can be any gender,
no gender, can be an alien,

can be a monster, can be
just me wanting to dress up

in some women's clothes
tonight and act sultry.

It's multi-gendered,
if non-gendered,

if anything that comes up
in the future

or anything I fancy doing
it's all come like organically.

Ehm...
Sometimes I don't know.

Sometimes I'll be a character

and I don't know
what the gender is.

It's just how it feels.

I think those would probably be
more likely non-gendered.

But the more I go on

and the better skilled
I become in drag

the more I find I can do
more feminine looks

and so there have been
more feminine personas

or facets of this Johnny persona

that comes on when I'm in drag.

And I can create a feminine
or hyper-feminine face.

But I love to make something
that's really sexy ugly

or something
that's really ugly sexy

or... really blur.

It's kind of like
that blurring the lines.

[screaming] I don't know
how to take this anymore

I don't know what to do.
Oh my God!

And then that's really fun
to do and it also in?

in a very small sense
that might go

"Wow that person was sexy,

but was also kind of confusing."

And maybe
that's a lesson for them.

[people cheering
and applauding]

[Camile] It was like
when I was a kid

all these eyes
would look at me and go

?Oh, okay
something's different.?

When I used to play
Tekken as a kid

I used to love
playing the girl roles.

It was like they were amazing
because they moved better.

You know, the Tekken boys
were just like "punch, punch."

No, I wanna see some like...

hair flips and like dodges,
yeah?

[Jacqui] It's sad that there's
still such a weakness

associated with femininity

and embracing
any form of femininity.

We see the divide
between gay guys, between...

these camp kind of effeminate
voguing round G-A-Y late twinks

who are feeling their fantasy

and the butch kind
of gym bunnies

that don't want to be
associated with that

because it infringes
on the masculinity

they think they need to perform
and inhabit to be safe.

But I think so much
of drag now is...

It's almost like a middle
finger up at what everybody says

you should or shouldn't be.

It works, you know,

because it's not conforming

to a set of rules

that people think it should be

and that makes people nervous

when you can't be put
easily in a box.

I think the moment
I popped out my mom

I was never going to be ignored

and I would never allow
myself to be ignored

and school was no exception.

I was lucky.

Well my school was lucky

to have someone like me there

'cause I definitely taught them
a good many few things

about being a young gay person

but then also becoming
a young trans person.

I was very feminine.

I mean I wore makeup
since I was 13, I would say.

13, 14, pre-transition
I wore makeup.

Because I was back then
a boy wearing makeup

I stuck out like a sore thumb.

However there was girls
wearing makeup in my class,

probably even more
makeup than I was

but because I was
the boy wearing makeup

I was the one,
"Wipe that off your face now!"

I was sent to like
the headmaster's office

because I was wearing
a BB cream once, you know.

I was sent off because I wore
a little bit of blush

turned into bronzer
and then I had a full face

and that was a huge

giant explosion of teachers

saying how wrong it was.

And I just sort of walked
in there and said

"I don't have any expectations

I just want a long

and really big
and birthday vibes."

And they sat me down

and they literally just did them

and I was so happy with them.

I mean my nails
have always been extra

but these are
really fucking extra,

they're really something else.

Yeah.

-[Matt] Who's birthday was it?
-Mine.

-[Matt] When?
-Wednesday actually.

-[Matt] Ah, happy birthday.
-Well, yeah.

When I had come out
as transgender

I was no longer
allowed to go to the boys

but they refused to let me go
into the girls toilet.

That made it
really awkward for me

because I could no
longer comfortably

just do something
as simple as go to the toilet.

I wouldn't take back
all the hardships

that I went through at school
because they have made me

the woman I am today.

[Envy] When drag came along

and I realized
I had this platform

to really expand
on the ideas of what I do

and I'm still doing it today

I was able to finally
play the villains

and play
the psychotic individuals

or the twisted individuals
I've always dreamed of playing.

I always idolized in a sense.

Being so overtly queer

and so overtly what some people
might call "wrong"

I find really empowering
and kind of anarchical and punk.

It gives me a platform
not only to do performances

but kind of like explore
anything within me

that I might not be able
to explore in my day to day

with friends or on the street.

Just anything that I wanna feel,

I can feel in drag.

I can draw it up
and I can be it.

Humans transforming
into monsters

or into something else.

I think that comes

through a lot of my--
especially makeup designs

I've always had
this really strong urge

to kind of want to be
something else.

Well maybe as a kid
that's what I felt

and through
this platform of drag

I get to transform
into whatever I want to be.

I get to transform
into something that's strong

or better than life
or better skilled

or had a better shield of armor

like any of that.

[Nightbus] If there's something
disarming about being feminine

then that's great.

I actually use that
to my advantage

because my drag
can be quite glamourous

or quite beautiful

and you know I pad
and I wear breast plates

and you know
have dresses made and stuff

and people see that and go,
"Oh my God, work."

And then when I'm like,
"Yeah, you know...

Trump's putting
in a Muslim ban."

Or, you know,
"32 people were killed this year

who were trans across the world

and that's just registered
in the UK and the US."

And I can do that on stage.

So you're disarmed
by the immediate presentation

of something
that's very feminine,

which people see as being
less of a threat anyway

and then I think it has
more of a real impact to go

"This is the form that I am
but this is the story
I'm going to tell you."

[Jacqui] There's something
about being a drag queen

that almost breaks the ice.

There's something humorous
about it anyway

that kind of adds
a bit of a diffuser I guess.

There are so many things
you can get away

with saying as a drag queen.

Part of our job
is to poke fun at things

kind of...

maybe add a bit
of humor to things

that don't necessarily
come with humor

because what our community,
I guess,

is founded out of slightly
is moving forward

to a kind of equality
and glum kind of feel.

So it's nice to have something
that's entertaining

and a little bit different
that you can make light
out of situations.

If I'm an asshole to you
then it means we're friends.

If I'm nice to you,
fucking panic.

It never ends well
or it ends in sex

which equally, doesn't end well.

[audience laughs]

Really it ends up
in one of the two of us
being disappointed.

It's usually you.

[Johnny] Okay, this is...

my, ehm...

Yeah, when I can't store
anything on a shelf

or on a rail,
I shove it in here.

So I've got wigs, like,
schoolgirl outfit.

Oh my God, yeah.
Early like...

Nineties school,
little schoolgirl outfit

that I thought was really cute.
[laughs]

Can't bare to let go

and if anyone asks
for a schoolgirl number

I've got the costume, but no.

[Carmen] Erm, it's just like
really quintessential drag.

It's a leotard so I can add
things on top of that

but it's just camp as tits,
isn't it?

It's got asymmetrical sleeves

it's taller than I am
and then it's leopard print

and I'm not
a fan of leopard print

but there's something
about that kind of? trashy?

It's a trashy drag look,
isn't it?

My first ever dress
was a wedding dress

and I got it
for a Halloween costume

and was like,
"Oh my God, I love it."

And I wore it as a house dress
for about two months afterwards

and my housemates
were sick of it.

I was just constantly
in this fucking wedding dress.

It was like a dressing gown
I wore it everywhere.

Whenever I see
a good wedding dress

I'm like, "Whoe yeah
I've got to have that"

until I found
this particular dress in Trade

and I got it for eight quid
or four quid

or something
ridiculous

and it was huge
and I had to have it.

So I got it and it's been
the best thing ever.

Although I keep getting
booked to wear it

and it's really heavy
and really awkward

to carry around.

I'm thinking...

It's got lots of ruffles
and it's long.

And we're looking for?

Well a starting point
would be red

anything red because...

that's what the BAFTAs
is all about.

It's old Hollywood

but I think you can tipple
a little on old Hollywood

as long as it's glam.

You can't get more fab
than feathers really, can you?

A flap...

a spin, wooh!

Has movement.

It's kind of hideous
but I love it.

[laughs]

I mean, come on!

I can hardly move,
but why would you need to?

[laughs]

Something like that
is all those layers

and all that movement.

I love chiffon, anything
that moves all by itself

with little to no effort.

[music box tune]

I always like the idea
of a jilted woman

or a woman who's had
lots of husbands

and has gained
all of her wealth from them.

I suppose that it's
because I used to feel

quite jilted in my past

so I kind of relate to that.

That would be perfect.

It's like a little accoutrement

to the dress for tonight.

I can just imagine how many...

how glorious it looked
to have all the girls lined up

in the same costume
and they all look fab.

This one belonged to Emily,
it's in the boob.

Why do one thing,
when you can do lots of things?

Especially with like style...

and taste...

like I can be a monster

and I can be
a full female bodied woman

or as some might say
a suspiciously large woman.

[indistinct]

[music box tune]

Yeah.

Unfortunately not.

[tailor] I think I can pull
a few more for you.

Yeah, honestly,
you're the expert here.

I'm just the drag queen
with the big eyes.

[laughs]

[tailor] Step into.

[music box tune playing]

[music box tune continues]

[Matt] Do you do a lot
of drag queen costumes?

To be honest I have to say

a lot of drag queens
can't afford the price

Yeah, it's not the most
well paid industry.

Which is why "Everybody is
talking about Jamie"
and RuPul is brilliant

because they're now
kind of getting more money

into the industry, you know.

Well, actually this would fit.

[tailor] Let me
have one more scower.

Yeah, of course.

Give this a go
or is that too red?

[tailor] If you saw the lady
that this was made for

you'd never know
this would go on you honestly.

[Envy giggles]
Full of surprises!

Oh that's perfect!

-We do have to tuck, just so--
-[tailor] Yeah.

[Envy] ...we don't have
our little friend...

Amazing!

[tailor] That's it,
that's your dress for the night.

Yes.

[lively music]

[Matt] Filming with Shaz.

[Nightbus]
Fuck off, fuck off.

Oh my God,
you look so good!

-[Envy] We're having a bath!
-[Nightbus] Why?

[Envy] We're having a bath
at the BAFTAs.

[Nightbus]
Margo doesn't bathe.

-[Bimini indistinctly]
-Disco

He's not listening,
don't care.

God you look fab.

[Bimini] We've got
the break now.

[Nightbus] Until when?

[Margo]
What are you talking about?

-[Bimini] I'm not in the bath.

[Envy] Hiyaa.
[Nightbus] Hiyaa.

[all laugh]

Full disclosure.

Margo is just like

* Only the crumbliest
flakiest chocolate. *

[Bimini] They are melting.

You're all ridiculous.

Where are you?
I'm getting a cab.

[Bimini]
Tonight I'm performing

a Tina Turner number

"Private Dancer".

Actually when I was younger
I used to hate it

because it was something
that my parents would play

and it wasn't cool,
but I loved the song so much.

So tonight
I'm doing it at The Glory.

It's actually the first place
that I ever performed pole

and it was actually
the first place
I ever performed

and they're so great at giving
drag queens an opportunity

and a chance to get on stage

and show their art,
show their creativity

so yeah,
I'm looking forward to it.

Disco, come on!

I mean when you first
interviewed me a year ago

I'd only been doing it
for about six months

but I'd focused more
on performing
and started doing pole

and kind of been taking that.

And elevating and trying
to evolve my drag as well.

Kind of figuring out
Bimini as a drag queen

and as a character.

When you first interviewed me

I was kind of going
through a bit of a rut

social anxieties
and kind of depression.

I was teaching yoga
and I had to stop teaching

because I was going
through a lot of mental health
issues myself.

To start with it was fine,

it was just
what everyone was doing.

I'd moved to London
and it was exciting.

We were taking drugs.

So I would take
a lot of G, GHB,

crystal meth, mephedrone,

and just party for days
and days and just keep going.

You just get wrapped up in it,
caught up in it

and so many people do.

So many gay people
and queer people do.

You grow up
not accepting yourself

and then you find
acceptance in these people

and people
are doing these things

and you think it's normal
and then it's fun,

but it's not fun when you're on
day five and you haven't slept

and then it's becoming
a regular thing.

I remember going to sleep

and waking up
every hour shaking

because my body needed it,
my body craved it.

If I hadn't got out
of it when I did

and deal with the consequences
which came after,

yeah I would probably be dead.

Come on.

I witnessed people
overdosing regularly.

I used to go under
all the time

and I never took it
as a big deal.

I remember people
were put off by seeing it

and it never did for me,
it just didn't.

I just became...

so used to being
in the situation

and relying on it

in social situations
to just kind of perk me up.

And when I did decide to stop,

my social anxiety
was just completely awful.

I used to walk
in a room and think

people were talking about me

that people hated me.

Now I don't care
if people do hate me

like whatever

or people talking about me,

but then it was
such a big thing.

With drag, when I first
moved to London at 18,

I started going out in Soho

and I met drag queens in person

for probably the first time

and I remember thinking
"I'd love to do it."

And I did a form of drag

but it wasn't anything
I took seriously.

When I first got back

I think I was back
for about a year

before I was like,
"No, this is what I wanna do

and this is what I'm gonna do."

Then that's when I started
performing.

[Jacqui] We're in my home town.

We're on the Isle of Wight

which is bizarre

considering that,
you know, I grew up here.

I wouldn't say the Isle of Wight
was stuck for a little while

but I think we're now starting
to see things move forwards

on the Isle of Wight
like accepting a big old

seven foot man
in a wig like me.

Can you imagine
a gay club in Camp Hill?

It would be amazing

So what kind of kick started
Isle of Wight Pride

was a local MP
for the Isle of Wight

saying something incredibly
homophobic and disgusting

and yeah, kind of pride came
around in a response to that.

It's nice that, as the only gay
kid growing up in the village

when I was growing up here,

it's now nice that there's
a huge celebration every year

and that dogs come to my show.

It's a rowdy crowd
of 12 tonight, isn't it?

Good Lord.

I'm gonna draw this out.

It kills five minutes
of my hour showtime.

Ladies and gentlemen!

I just popped a bollock.

Please welcome to the stage...

Miss...

Jacqui Swallooowwws!

Turn it back up, dear!

[audience cheers and applauds]

[Jacqui]
I think this kind of show

is very new
to the Isle of Wight, you know.

It's different, isn't it?

Different parts of the country,
and well the world.

They catch onto things
at different times.

I suppose after a drag
race craze, or after any place

where they are used to drag

they have expectations,
they've seen it before

whereas on the Isle of Wight
everyone thinks I'm great

because they haven't seen
any better.

But no, they're great fun
and they're always up
for a laugh.

It's nice.

I have a bit of pride

that it's nice
to see my hometown

going "Yeah, this is really cool
and we want more of it."

[Nightbus track plays]

* Paki, Paki, Paki,
terrorist, terrorist Paki... *

[screams and cheering]

[Nightbus]
Yeah, so I've had abuse

in drag on the streets

from cars passing by

but I also know that I'm
quite ignorant to a lot of it

because actually even in drag,

although it's quite
a feminine form

like I do still look
quite manly with a beard

so I probably get away
with a lot more.

Also because I'm brown,
people are a little bit...

skeptical of coming
and saying something to me

which is quite interesting.

I've had some abuse
from Asian people in cars

and it's been about things
like, "Allah will punish you"

and I'm just like...

"We're not getting
into this right now"

because we could definitely

have this conversation
for days."

And then I've had

some really horrendous things
said to me in Berlin

when I lived there for a year.

People asking me how...

what proportion
of the N word I am,

which has been quite...

sort of,
"Did you just say that?"

and trying to understand
what that means.

So the abuse has mainly
come from being...

brown

and then there's an element
of being queer in there as well.

[Matt] And how do you deal
with abuse when you get it?

[sighs]

I don't really rest on it.

I think it's about looking
at the wider picture

where that comes from
and where it stems from

and why people say that.

It's only when someone
will outwardly say something

and I feel comfortable enough
to shout at them

because what's
the worst they can do.

Even if you kill me
that will be on TV

and people will know about that

and you will never
be the same again

so you can't do that.

You're the one who's always
gonna come worse off.

I don't really shy away
from having arguments

but I don't like them.

I'd rather have a conversation.

But actually, to be honest,
I find it exhausting,

I find it exhausting
trying to explain
these things to people.

I don' t need to sit there
and tell you every day

why I'm not a terrorist
or why Muslims are not all bad

or why queer people
aren't disgusting.

* Paki, Paki, Paki *

[Barbs]
Oh yeah, we got mugged.

[Camile] We nearly got stabbed.

-[laughs]
-That was in view.

That was well funny,
we turned--

We used our drag to advantage

because it actually
scared them off.

Yeah.
We were rolling a jazz cigarette

down the canal in Haggerston...

These two people came up
and was just like

?Give us your phone and money"
and we were

?No, not giving that?

and I had fifty quid cash
in my pocket as well

just did a gig at The Glory,
so I was like,

?No, you're not having that.?

And then he got this seven inch
hunting knife out

and it was like, "Eugh!"

especially when you start seeing

a lot more queer performance

like things don't shock you
as much

and when he got this seven inch
hunting knife out

he's not gonna
hack us apart with that.

"No, still not giving you
my phone and money"

and then they didn't know
what to do at that point.

-Yeah.
-The other one grabbed me

and punched me in the face.

And then we got up
and he, the other one

just threw me back.

He'd opened me up
and was like, ?Right.?

All the prosthetic boobs
came out, the fishnet leggings,

the thong, he was like,
"Oh my God, what's going on?"

Now it's like bulge,
bulge, bulge, bulge.

[laughter]

And then he tried
to get on to Carmen

and Carmen has
this massive suitcase.

-She was like "No".
-He tried to grab her suitcase.

It had makeup in it.

Carmen,
she's like 6.2 foot, gorgeous,

just like picked up
her suitcase full of make up

and was like, ?Fuck off!?

All her possessions.

-And just pelted it.
-Then all of a sudden

they just started to run

and we were like
"You better run."

-Yeah it was--
-Would you say that was

a homophobic attack?

Oh no,
it was more of a mugging

but they shat themselves
when they saw us.

[Bimini] I was in Ley Fest,
it was down in Kent

and there was a guy,
I think he was coked up

or he was on something
and he was just like

"What the fuck is that?"

I was in a bikini,
I looked great

and he was like,
"What the fuck is that?"

He was all riled up
and his friends were laughing

and saying "just leave it"

and it was,
"Why am I ruining your festival?

You're at a festival,
just enjoy yourself.

Don't see the drag queen

and be like,
"'what the fuck is that?'

just because you fancy me?"

It says more about them.

It's like, "Okay then
you have got a problem."

You're meant to be at a festival
to have fun. What's it about?

That's all it does when people
give homophobic abuse

it's just like,
"Look at yourself babes."

And then genders
very black and white

and very well blue
and pink I guess.

Like you are told from a young
age what you should do

this is wrong, this is wrong,
so when you do see

someone playing
with the boundaries

I think it shocks a lot
of people and intimidates people

as much as they probably
wouldn't like to admit

that they feel
intimidated by it.

Our job is to then determine
okay how do we seed that,

where is that coming from?

And I guess I do that
outside of my job

in the hair side
of things as well

like you see it every day
people don't actually know

who they're looking at
when they see themselves.

It freaks people out a bit

but I think that's even more
reason to do it to be honest.

Every time I see someone getting
attacked for homophobia

it makes me feel...
In a way it's a form of activism

It's like I am here,
I am doing this

and you need to get used
to it, kind of thing.

I'm not going to stop doing
drag because of it, if anything

I'm going to put
more lashes on, more blusher on

every single time
someone looks at me funny.

I went to school

where we were forced to pray

to God every morning

and it's like I'm not religious

so you know,
why is it that all of a sudden

a child is exposed to drag
and it's a bad thing?

What is bad is teaching
your children attitudes

where you don't accept people

a lot of the thing
I've got out of doing drag is

how lovely drag queens are
to each other as well.

Of course you have
the bitchiness as well

but in general we are a family,
we are a family.

I would much rather
teach children

the value of finding
friends and family

and exploring yourselves
rather than teaching them

to hate people and be ignorant.

Of course, I don't think
there's been one drag queen

that's not had abuse

whether that be traveling
to the gig

or going home from the gig

or in the club itself.

I think you've got to be doing
something right for people

to have a go at you
and I've always believed
in that.

They might be across the road
and shout at you

but you walk straight up to them

and they nothing to say
to your face

because they never do.

Because they have nothing

to justify themselves with.

There could be a group
of like what?

Five young boys?

But still five of them

and I'll walk straight up
to them

and be like, ?What??

And then they go
all quiet and they're like

?Oh well I didn't say it,
he said it. Oh no he said it.?

It doesn't matter which one
of you said it,

it was one of you,
it was all of you probably,

but now that I'm in front of
you,

you don't want to say
anything, do you?

You don't want
to be put in that position

you don't want
the confrontation.

I suppose when I'm in drag
I'm more sort of like

"Yeah, I am.
I am a faggot, I am a tranny,

I am this, I am that,
because I'm in drag

and those are my words

and I'm not going
to give you that power.

The moment you say
you are the words

they're shouting you at

you've taken, you've snatched
that power away from them

and you've snatched
the opportunity

for them to poke at you

and to make that situation.

Just don't whimper

and don't panic.

Because if you show them
the weakness

then they'll want it more

and it's a drug
to people like that

and they want more and more

and they'd want to see you
get more uncomfortable

and I'd just say,
"Put your headphones in

sit there like the bad bitch
you know you are

and just ride it out."

A funny story,
I was walking back home

to Whitechapel, walking down
one of the side streets

I'm in half drag, I've taken
a bit of my drag off

I'm in boy clothes

and...

I've got my headphones in

and I'm probably
listening to some musical

or some sissy, sissy something

and I'm having a little jolly
because I'm a little bit drunk

and a car pulls up
to me and I can hear

something shouted
behind me

but I keep walking
because that often happens

or someone is shouting
at someone in the street.

And the car pulls up
to me and I realize

that they've been shouting at me

and I pull my headphone down
just to catch

"What the fuck are you,
you fucking faggot?"

And, I am like...

[funny voice] "Cool dude,
yeah you caught me

I'm a faggot, whatever."

And he reaches down
for something

and I, you know, I tense

because I'm ready
for something to be thrown at me

and he throws and it hits here

and it's a chocolate cake.

And it splats, it misses me

and splats against the...

the shutters next to me

and I go, I'm just like aghast

I was like...

"You threw a chocolate cake
and you missed?"

And then it gets worse.

He looks at me
and then he's like...

He reaches down again

and throws
another chocolate cake

and misses again,
and I'm like

"You throw like a girl,
you big faggot!"

Obviously I don't believe
in those things

but, you know,
I wanna twist his nipple

I wanna twist his titty
at this point.

And his, I'm like,

"You wasted
your chocolate cake"?

And he's just so angry
with himself

and is in such a spat

that he drives off
and speeds off into the night

and I'm like [applauds]

"Thank you for that,
that really perked up my night?

and then I turn around,

look back and there's
two splats of cake

slowly slipping down like,
you know, his sense of worth.

[laughs loudly]

Fucking idiot,
what a waste of cake.

[laughs]

I've been abused

I've been physically assaulted

five times since March

twice in one night.

In nightclubs,
outside of nightclubs

getting into Ubers.

I've had people spit on me,

but I've faced them down
every time

and I win and I carry on

and I get brighter and louder

and er?

if? [sniffs]

if I stop doing it
they win basically.

That can't happen,
that's not acceptable,

that's not an option.

So we just had a great night
at Cirque Le Soir.

It was such a good night,
it was such a high.

Everyone was getting along

and then,
I said goodbye to everyone

I got on the bus

I went up to the top, back,

that's where I always sit,
my favourite seat

and as soon as I sat down
there were three girls

who started shouting

so I put my music in,
blocked them out

just ignore them,
hope it goes away...

and it didn't.

They started
throwing stuff at me

they poured Coca Cola
on my hair

threw chips at me.

[attacker] Film me
and see how that goes.

Oh my days!

It was the words that hurt

it wasn't just being assaulted

because I've got thick skin,
I can take it.

It was the words that they used.

[Chai] Back the fuck off!

[attacker 2] Are you fuck--

Pervert, pedophile...

-[attacker 1] Chill, chill.
-[attacker 2] Delete that.

"You're a disgrace,
abomination."

[indistinct insults]

You know horrendous, horrible,

unthinkable... things

and for them to see me
on the same level

for being positive
and for expressing myself

that was the one
that shook me most.

[applause]

"Forty five pairs of eyes

but not one statement
from a witness

all the footage is out of date
because they acted too late

so tell me
how do I forgive this?"

Well I've been bruised you know

I've bled, that was the worst.

As anyone does when they're
attacking

another human being

they don't see
beyond that, you know,

that's someone's child
they're attacking

and that's the other aspect.

Someone's brother, sister...

They just see a target

-and that's not what they are.
- No.

I would never not
stand up for myself

or my friends or my community

and I feel, especially
if you want to be a drag queen,

that's what the essence
of it, it's the core,

standing up

and defying odds and boxes

and breaking down walls.

So for me to run
and hide would be

to me defeat the purpose
of a drag queen.

So I stand my ground

and then...

I phone my mum...
and cry.

Because I'm just so tired

of having to fight all the time
to be accepted.

There's relief when I know
he's physically safe

but I fear each time
the phone goes.

I didn't know.

I should have brought a tissue.

[both laugh]

-You've got sleeves.
-No, I haven't.

I fear each time the phone goes
that it's something worse.

People say to me about

having my son living in London

we've got family in America

and their fear is
terrorist attacks

and that's not something
I ever worry about generally

because my reality
is the day to day fear

that my son is going
to be abused or beaten

for who he is,
not for hurting people,

but for expressing himself

in a manner
that makes him happy

and I fear
every time the phone goes.

But I don't want him to stop.

[both laugh]

I don't want him to stop

because I don't think
he should stop being

who he is for anyone.

Because that just
makes the world a smaller

and a sadder and darker place.

Drag is definitely a protest.

Ehm, it's a protest,
it's subversive, it is...

[sighs] I mean it feels

so... trite to just say

?sticking it to the man?
but it really is.

It's a disruption

that I think
even in a microcosm like London

we just take it for granted
that people are liberal

and understanding
but actually...

the people living in London

are from so many
different backgrounds

where they haven't been exposed

to even the slightest bit
of queerness

for them to even see
a drag queen

especially a brown bearded one

who's fat and takes up space.

I think that is a huge
disruption for me.

I do sort of toy with the idea

of if I do want to perform
for straight audiences.

if I want to be doing something
that's so mainstream

because one thing
that other people

who are drag queens
or work within queer circles

would say is that actually
sometimes it can feel

like you're preaching
to the converted.

If you're queer and you're
talking about queer issues

to queer people then
what are you ultimately doing?

Yeah you might be
queer but if you're white

there is an element
of privilege in that

and I'm going to point that out.

And that in itself
is a protest, I think.

Saying ?No, this is
what your normal is

this isn't
the norm of everyone."

Yeah, I would say
it's a protest

both in queer circles
and outside in the mainstream.

People walk away
from my performances

with their minds
changed about something

because actually
that's the primary purpose

I make something to make people
change their minds about it.

And at the same time
it can be a desperate existence

just doing this day in day out

and thinking what is the fucking
overall purpose of this?

What am I actually trying to do?

Am I just doing this
because I want to be famous?

Shockingly I don't really
enjoy drag in the same way

that I get a thrill
from doing it all the time.

I enjoy being able
to be subversive with it.

[Bimini]
Yeah I think in the last year

I've definitely evolved a lot.

Grown to understand
myself a lot more.

I'll always carry
that addictive personality

but now I try to become
addicted to things that I enjoy

like yoga or pole dancing,
or fitness

and I become obsessive with it.

For my drive
and what I want to do

and my ambition
and my creativity

it's done wonders for it.

Disco, come on!

Good boy.

This year something just changed

and I' ve really worked
my ass off

this summer performing...

Done many festivals,
done cruise ships

and it's been amazing,
and I'm so blessed to be booked

and I'm blessed to be

doing something
that I really enjoy doing.

So pole dancing is something
that I've really always loved

because it's always been...

kind of soaked
in this femininity.

Dancers and sensual women,
and...

strong women as well,
like you've got to be strong

and you've got
to really work at it

to be able to build
yourself up on the pole.

I've always aspired to it.

With yoga it helped,

they kind of go together,

even though
they're polar opposites

in what people would expect

they really
do compliment each other.

I mean you don't often see

people performing pole anywhere.

I like bringing
something a bit different

to my performance.

[dance music]

[audience cheering]

I don't feel the urge to do
the things I used to do.

I feel a lot stronger,
I can say no.

Yeah I can't ever see myself
going down that path

I think I've worked too hard
to get to where I am now

for me to slip back
into my old ways.

[disco music playing]

It went really well.

The first time I've performed it

so it's gonna be my new number,

I really had fun

and I think everyone else
enjoyed it as well

which is always good
to get good feedback.

But it was very impromptu
like no introduction

just like walk on the stage
and everyone's like

everyone's looking,
yeah, it was good.

[disco music]

[audience cheering]

[music continues playing]

The power of makeup.

Then a little bit of brown.

Oh yeah look, gone.

[piano playing]

For me being in school was never
a place I could be queer.

So for me to now
be visibly femme

and being in nurseries
and schools is quite nice.

I went to a really posh
conservatoire and hated it.

It was amazing
and the education was amazing

but it was just
such an alien world for me.

I love classical music

but I'm from
a working class family

and like it's very,
I was always the odd one out

because I like classical music
and it was really weird

and I wanna make it
more accessible

and basically I just want
all of the communities

I've experienced and met

through being part
of the queer community

and artists I've worked with

drag queens, performers,
poets, strippers,

I want to include everyone

within the medium
of classical music.

So it all kind
of stems from that idea

of taking things out
of perspective and putting it

into a place it wouldn't
normally be seen.

The classism and elitism
and ableism

around classical music.

Ehm, I was getting frustrated

so I started going
to the cabaret scene

out on the cabaret scene

and I was seeing things
like in pub basements

that were blowing me away

just made with cardboard
and tinsel

but the performance
and the passion

and the emotion behind it all

was so overwhelming

so I want to broaden

the audience accessibility
of classical music.

It's so exclusive.

So yeah I just want to try
and change that somehow

in my own little way
and give people the opportunity

to work in classical music,
because I love it,

and I want
to share that as well.

Please go mad
for my very good friends

one of the reasons
that I'm here
on the Isle of Wight so often.

They're wonderful,
they're talented

if not slightly sagging
from the waist down.

Ladies and gentlemen,
please go mad

for the Camp Hill Coooookies!

So this evening,
some of my good friends

from the Isle of Wight

a group called
the Camp Hill Cookies

and they're burlesque
chair dancers

and they're probably
the campest women
I've ever met.

They're ladies who--

Some of them have never
performed in their life

and they come and they do
these classes, and some of it

is about exercise
and weight loss and all kinds.

But they perform
and they're absolutely amazing.

You know if you'd have said
?Oh well there's a drag queen

performing on Monday night?
people would go ?No.?

And if you told them
there was a group

of 15, 20 middle aged women

performing burlesque routines
in a social club

next to a disused prison
to have fun

make friends, lose weight,

you'd say exactly the same thing

but it's amazing,
they're so talented

and it's lovely to see
and I resonate with it I guess

that look of pure joy
of just having fun doing it

and just thinking balls
to everything else.

[piano plays classical music]

[applause]

[Barbs] Oh, thank you.

[man]
Absolutely wonderful ma'am.

[Barbs] Thank you very much.

-I'll do another one.
-[man] Oh, thank you very much.

Ruining the illusion.

[Matt] I thought it was
all your normal hair.

Oh really?

I wish.

-[Matt] It's getting there
-It's getting there

[Lucas] I was going to say
the colors almost match.

I know! I'm so lucky,

because that's
a really cheap wig as well.

Yeah, it's like £8.99 each.

I'm very low maintenance.

-[Matt] Shit drag.
-[giggles] Yeah, shit drag.

-[Matt]
Do you want me to undo it?

-Yeah.

[Barbs] I think it is...

There we go, ta-da.

[Jacqui sings out of tune]

I should have been a singer.

[woman sings more out of tune]

You shouldn't of.

There's nothing more than I love

than a sing along up here.

[woman] Can I just have
a look at your makeup?

You can,
I've taken my eyelashes off.

-[woman] Unfortunately.
-I'm very sweaty.

[woman] You look so gorgeous.

[woman] Oh my God.

[Jacqui] This has become
some sort of weird family
self help group.

I'm certainly not being paid
enough for this.

[laughs loudly]

I got grandsons
in their thirties

and yes, they talk to me
just like that

and I talk to them back
just like that.

[laughs]

He uses
all the swear words I do

and... all the filth.

I reckon he's gorgeous.

I'm 76 and if I was younger
I would go for it.

[laughs loudly]

We are the superfans.

I'll give you my address
so you can do the injunction

when you need to.

[all laugh]

-She's not joking.
-I'm not, I'm so not.

He's probably the only one

on the island
that we've seen, ever.

But it's amazing
because we've got quite

a closed community on the island
so it's something different.

The island is a bit reserved

and the island needs Jack.

[Matt] Do you still live
with Tommy and Dan?

No, I don't live with Tommy
and Dan anymore.

So many big personalities
in a house.

It was beautiful,
we had all these ideas.

Tommy taught me
so much about discipline.

While I was living
there I just felt...

"This is a really good
opportunity."

There's so many people that...

have so many things around them
that we can build on.

But it wasn't really teaming.

It was just like,
you had a gig, this had a gig,

Tommy had a gig,
Dan had a gig

and we couldn't live
in a house together as well

and not become family.

Come on darling,
come on Barbs, get that down.

And that's where I learned,

where my family weren't
so supportive of the drag.

They always have my back
in some sort of sense.

Whereas the drag family at 66

didn't always have my back

but they were supportive
of my drag

and I had to balance that out
between two families

and it wasn't
like Luke was in one place

and Camile was in the other.

Every time I go back home
it's a little bit more warmer.

Me, my sister...
and my two nieces.

It's like my sister
doesn't want them

to see anything
that I do like that.

I need to come as an educator
if I'm going to do anything

because when the kids grow up

they're going to go to school

with it, that, this, she, him.

I don' t want them to feel
like they're like I was

very sheltered and very shelled,

because it takes years

and I think it's going
to take a few more years

until I can completely come out

because its not just coming out

as a gay sexual,
bisexual or whatever I am

masculine, feminine,

trans, you know, "it",
like this.

If I can do it round them

if I can be who I am
around them

then I can be myself
around anyone.

I would cry, it would
overwhelm me so much.

That's where I get to
in my dreams

if something makes me
feel that much

it means I want it that bad.

It's just the fact
that I want to be able to sing

and be able
to not be scared of this.

This is the worst thing I fear
and I have to get through it.

If I don't get through it

I'm not going to find that peace
that I was looking for.

-[soft music]
-[car engine revs]

[Chai] So we are
at Byline Festival

which is a poetry,

literature and music festival.

I've been partying

doing drag,
because I stopped drag

for a little bit
before the last interview

due to the abuse
I was receiving

and it sort of gave me a refuel

after doing this a year ago.

Since then
I've hosted at Homehouse

which is the fashion house ball

which I did for New Years Eve,
and then Amsterdam

and then we've done
performances together as well

spoken word
which I've done in drag

so yeah, this will be
my first drag performance.

-I think I've grown a lot.
-[Alby] Yeah.

I think you've become
a lot more confident

and I think you've learned a lot
about yourself through drag.

Who you are and the persona

you want to present to the world

and how you wish
other people to perceive you.

There will always be people
who don't have the same opinions

or perceptions, and that's okay
for people to have that.

It's when they attack
your child multiple times.

That doesn't leave you.

[presenter]
She is the most wonderful star

sometimes called Chai Latte,

sometimes called Skinny Latte,

sometimes just Latte with Cream.

[Chai] Bricking it mate.
Oh my god, I'm shitting it.

But I 'm also just so excited.

This will be the first time
I've rapped the poems.

It's a pro-drag queen,
pro-femme.

It's about being different

and not accepting
the responsibility

of other people's thoughts
and views

in their small mindedness.

[soft music]

[rapping]
* Desert sands over London *

* Cast a crimson sky *

* I saw a mother pointing *

* Covering her daughter's eyes *

* I walked right by
in my rose gold satin thigh *

* Highs they,
They said it was a sign... *

[Chai] Fucking exhilarating

and nerve wrecking
and emotional.

I can't describe the feeling
you know, it was great.

To be able to get
to that stage of your life

where you can get up
on stage in front of people

and perform your own work

it's been
like a five year journey

that's culminated now

and I can't describe
how proud I am of myself.

It's great.

You've got to remember
is gender is learned

and what we're doing is
un-learning it

breaking it down.

Making it
what we want it to be

and not what somebody
tells us it should be

If you're masculine
you've got to be angry

or if a woman's angry
it's seen very differently

It's in everything,
marketing, advertising,

it's male and female,
it's split up

so it's just
getting rid of that.

[Barbs]
I often have people thinking--

mistaking me
for being trans or something

and it's like, "No, this
is all a performance

this is all a character"

but it also allows
me to go out of the house

and explore my gender fluidity
a bit more.

It's a really great way
to build confidence.

You know it takes a lot of guts

to go outside in drag
in day time.

I think it's very important
to be visible.

[Camile] A lot of people
wear masks all day

they work their 9-5,
they don't come out
of that mask.

Even though you don't change

people change around you

because they have to adjust
to what they see

[Bimini]
Putting on a wig and a heel

you feel invincible.

As ridiculous as it sounds

but it's more like a mask

[Camile] You go into it thinking
that the fear comes from you,

but the fear
is coming from them.

[Barbs]
And it does have a benefit

especially for 15, 16,
17, 18 year olds

who grow up in small town
and are not exposed to this.

Especially to being queer

which is different
to being gay

so you know
I think it's really important

in that kind of setting.

I have a lot of hope
for the generations below us.

I think there's so much
happening now already.

[Camile] They're going to be
like our X-men.

[Barbs] Brilliant,
so they're going

to pave the way
for the generations after them,

It will always be changing
and developing

so I think in that sense
it will always be relevant.

We're all odd.
That's what makes us all even.

[giggles] Yeah, yeah.