All language subtitles for The.Mating.Of.Millie.1948.WEBRip.1080p.AAC2.0.x264.eng

Hey, you, driver!
Andrews!

- Hiya, supe!
- Don't call me soup, you're
already in it.

The boss told me to scrape
some of the fresh paint
off you.

- That's nice of him.
- No it ain't nice. We had
another complaint about you.

- Some old lady.
- If it was the one I think it
is, she stuck an umbrella

right in my eye. If there's
one thing I don't need, it's
an umbrella in my eye.

Never mind that. H.P. said to
remind you that the motto of
our drivers is

- "patience and politeness."
- Patience and politeness.
That's me.

- Well, remember it!
- Yeah.

Watch your step.
Plenty of room in back.

Go back to the rear of the
bus, please.

Will you kindly, kindly,
kindly move back to the rear
of the bus...

Plenty of room in back.

ELEVATOR OPERATOR: Third
floor, business offices.
Going down.

- Mail!
- Oh, Cookie, why do you
always bring mail

- right at closing time?
- Who is it for?

Your boss.

Now she'll start dictating
while my hot date cools off
in the auto park.

Then you'll just have to
nourish the hope that Miss
McGonigle has a hot date, too.

That machine? She only thinks
of a date as something that
belongs in a tree.

Well, honey, some of your
dates look as if they do.

And, Miss Turner, I'm not
going to tell you that we'll
be sorry to lose you...

Mail, Miss McGonigle.
I rushed with it as soon as I
got it.

- Tell Madge she'll be working
overtime.
- It's a pleasure.

You were saying you won't be
sorry to lose me?

- I don't quite understand,
Miss McGonigle.
- I made that remark because

- I'm sure you'll be back.
- Oh no. I'm getting married!

Exactly.

Pure statistics turnout. Of
every ten brides, six and four
tenths come asking for

their jobs before they've been
married a year. Now, there's
no advantage to me to

discourage a bride. But, if
you stop to consider that most
men act as if the principle

-reason for marriage is to
have someone to cheat on...
- But, Miss McGonigle,

how would you...

Don't stop, you started to
ask, "How would I know?" You
see, I'm not a wife.

And believe me, I do know.

Oh sit down, Madge. I'm sure
you don't mind just this
one night.

Don't look so surprised. I've
also learned how to
defend myself.

A girl can always develop
her own deep freeze.

Well, it must be interesting
to have a business brain, but
please don't be mad.

A man can be a lot more comfort.

Then we're both satisfied. And
and the best of luck to you.
Sincerely.

Goodbye.

- Now then.
- (BUZZER RINGING)

- Yes?
- MR. KIRKLAND: Would you come
into the board room, please?

Right away.

We'll have to let it go till
morning, Madge, I'm sorry.

- That's alright,
Miss McGonigle.
- Good night.

Good night.

* Happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you

* happy
birthday Miss McGonigle
happy birthday to you *

Well, Millie, you really were
surprised, weren't you?
I told you she'd be surprised!

- Now drink up.
- Thank you.

Now come and see your cake,
dear. It looks good enough
to eat!

- Oh, it's lovely!
- Well, we just happened to
have a couple of bottles

and a cake with your name on
it, so I said to Mr. Kirkland,
"Let's have a party."

MR. KIRKLAND: I think a few
words would be in order at
this moment.

As a matter of fact, I had a
formal speech all prepared,

but fortunately,
I've forgotten it.

- Three cheers!
- But I do want Miss McGonigle
to know how much

I appreciate her service
to our store.

During the absence of our
chief personnel director she's
been carrying on with

a capability which belies her
youth. It seems only yesterday
that she started here as

a humble stock clerk, a gawky
little orphan of 14.

But her mind has been only on
the right things. Work,
loyalty, efficiency...

Why don't we just say we like
her as a friend?
It's her birthday!

Drink up, Millie, my girl.

- I'm, really...
- Don't say a word.

I can't.

Except thank you. This was so
unexpected, it makes
me feel...

I don't know how it makes
me feel.

Well, sorry, all, but I'll
have to be going. It's a long
way to Santa Monica.

Yes, charming party, many
happy returns, McGonigle.

- Happy birthday, Millie.
- Good night, Miss McGonigle.
Again, congratulations.

- Thank you, sir.
- Good night.

- Good night, Millie.
- Good night, Mr. Willoughby.

There! Who'd know it wasn't
a hat?

Even if they saw it, who'd
know it wasn't a hat?

Why don't you take it,
Mrs. Thomas?

I'm all alone, you know, I'll
never be able to eat it.

Then ask a few friends in.

You have a champagne flush,
my dear. Very becoming
it is, too.

Mrs. Thomas, would you like, I
mean, if you're not busy...

I thought we might have
dinner or something.

Oh, my dear, I'm so sorry.
I have a date.

Oh. Some other time, then.

I feel... like I've never
felt before.

- I know, dear. Good night.
- Good night.

Move back to the rear of the
bus, please, there's plenty of
room in the rear.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Please, will you pick up your
feet and step to the rear
of the bus.

Step in, please.

Kindly move back.

There's plenty of room in the
rear of the bus.

Will you... will you kindly,
kindly, kindly move to the
rear of the bus.

I'm asking you just once more.

All right, if that's the way
you want it.

Here we go!

MAN: Hey! Where you going?

I want to get home, I don't
want to go sight seeing!

Ladies and gentlemen.

I think that you ought to know
that I have achieved a state

of supreme indifference as to
whether you move back in the
bus or not.

Now it's all yours. You can
drive it, you can push it,
you can...

Patience and politeness.

So long. Au revoir!
Good cheer!

(GRUMBLING)

Young man!

Young man... Oh Taxi!

Oh here, hold this. I do hope
I've got a card.

Oh, that's my birthday cake.
Would you like a piece
of cake?

What?

- Oh, here. This will fix it!
- Fix what?

Oh, you wouldn't understand,
would you? Of course you
wouldn't.

But you'll be needing a job
now, won't you? Of course
you will!

- I might.
- Well then, it's very simple.

I mean, if you don't find
something that you like
better... Taxi!

...you have me.

Well that certainly clears
things up.

Oh, I'm glad. And thank you.
Some of the nicest things are
happening today.

Hey!

- Hey, Dizzy, here's your
fruit cake.
- Oh, thank you!

I couldn't eat my cake and
leave it too, now, could I?

Tommy! You're a devil!

Almost clipped you, didn't I?

You sure did, speed ball!

- The car's sure perking since
I had her hopped up.
- How's my pal perking?

Swell! Well?

- Oh!
- The bubble gum!

Good heavens, Tommy, I forgot.
Of all things!

- Oh, good evening,
Miss McGonigle!
- Good evening, Mrs. Hanson.

The nicest thing just
happened. They gave me a party
at the store...

Well it's about time, the way
you slave...

Would you like a piece of
my cake?

Oh no thanks, spoil my dinner.
I'm going to my sister's for
the night

-if Tommy's mother will ever
get home.
- Where did she go?

This time she said it was
something about a job. She
promised to be home at six.

Oh, well I'm sure Tommy will
be all right.

It's time he was inside,
anyway. Come on, speed ball.

- It's still light yet!
- Yes, and it'll be light again
in the morning. Come on.

- Go to bed with the chickens.
- Don't get your feathers
ruffled.

The way you are with that
child, Miss McGonigle! You
ought to have one of your own.

Oh, I'd love to have a mutt
like this. Who wouldn't?

Will that carpenter never come?

Why haven't you gotten
married? A nice girl like you!

Oh, I don't know. I'm the
business type, I guess.

Well now, that seems a shame!

This is the first time I've
been in your apartment.

We used to live in a house.

When your father was...

Is this your father?

It's just his picture. He was
killed dead. That's his
medal, too.

Why, Tommy, this is the
Congressional Medal of Honor.
You realize all that means?

It means I haven't got
any father.

Would you like me to stay with
you until your mother comes?

Who needs a babysitter?

- Are you sure?
- I can handle it.

I bet you can handle anything.
You're quite a fellow!

- So long, then.
- So long!

Have your mother remind
Mrs. Hanson about this door.

But I don't like blind dates.
Who are these guys, anyway?

- You must have heard of
Jack Bradley!
- Is he the advertising man?

No, that's Phil Gowan. Brad's
in pictures. An agent.

An agent? Are we in for that
kind of an evening?

- WOMAN 1: You're young and
strong, aren't you?
- WOMAN 2: At least I'm young.

Well hello!
Come on in, beautiful!

- (CORK POPS)
- There she blows!

(LAUGHTER)

(BIRD CHIRPING)

What are you so happy about?
It's not your birthday.

(LAUGHTER)

TOMMY: (CRYING)
Mommy! Help! Help!

Please! Let me out!

(CRYING)

- Tommy! What's the matter?
- TOMMY: Let me out!

- It's Millie, Tommy!
- TOMMY: I'm locked in!
I can't get out!

- Try to open the door.
Pull hard!
- I can't, I can't!

Oh, of course you can't,
it's stuck.

Don't be frightened, Tommy!

- MAN: So long, girls!
- GIRLS: Bye-bye!

- Mrs. Hanson?
- TOMMY: Millie, Millie! Hurry
up, get me out!

Stop it, Tommy. I'll help you.

How can any one thing
make that much noise?

It's Mrs. Bassett's little
boy. He's locked in here.
It's terrible.

- It certainly is.
- Oh, this window's open! If I
could get the screen off...

Hey, hadn't you better get
Mrs. Hanson?

I tried. She's spending the
night away.

If this racket keeps up,
she's a lucky woman.

Don't try to be funny, help me!

(TOMMY CRYING)

Isn't there some kind of
a law against housebreaking?

- There's a law against
abandoning children, too.
- TOMMY: Let me out!

It's all right, Tommy, we'll
be right there.

Shouldn't we know each other
if we're sharing a life
of crime?

- My name's Gowan.
- Yes, I know.
Peerless Advertising.

I'm McGonigle,
Bullard's Department Store.

- Delighted to meet you...
- Please hurry!

- Now don't rush me...
- Please!

What are you doing?

- Preparing dinner.
- Well, stop it and
open the door.

Now you're all right, dear.

I wasn't frightened one bit.

- Of course you weren't.
- How do you sound, young man,
if you yell with both lungs?

- Huh?
- This is Mr. Gowan, Tommy.

Where's Mommy? I didn't
have any supper yet.

Oh, I'm sorry. Will you see
if there's some milk in the
icebox?

One bottle of milk.
With nipple?

I'm quite sure he's old enough
to drink from a glass.

Later on he'll be old enough
to drink from a bottle again.

Well! What happened here?

- I tried to open a window. So
I climbed up, and "boom!"
- Oh, well, never mind.

- Now what am I going to do
with you?
- I don't know.

There's nothing but a tired
old bottle of beer.

I guess I'll have to take you
over to my place. Where are
your night clothes?

In the bathroom!
I can get them.

Will you write Mrs. Basset a
note and pin it on the door?

"Dear Mrs. Basset.
I've kidnapped your child.

"Please have ransom bills in
small denominations.

- "Butch McGonigle."
- Thank you for your help.

- Did you have a nice party?
- Hmm? Oh that.

I guess it was a nice party.
Sorry if we disturbed you.

Oh, no, you didn't.
Not one bit.

- Well, good night.
- Good night.

Now you'll have to be patient
with me. Playing with you in
the park on Sundays

is one thing, but really
playing mother is something
else again.

A lot of surprises happened to
me today, but I never expected
anything like this!

- Are you old enough to get
yourself ready for bed?
- Sure.

All right, let's see.
Here's a towel,

some soap, and toothpaste,
and a new toothbrush.

Gee, why spoil a new toothbrush?

All in all, young man, I think
you'd better have a bath.

A bath?
In the middle of the night?

Right now.
You're pretty dirty.

It won't show with the
lights off.

I should have brought you
in here in the first place.

We could have had a
party instead of just
listening to one.

I was all alone, with nobody.

You sure were, son, and I know
just how you felt.

I guess I've been that way as
long as I can remember.

I bet you can remember
an awful long time.

It won't seem so long after
you're grown up. What are you
going to be then?

I was going to be a pilot,
but now I've gotta be
a millionaire.

That's quite an occupation!
Why have you got to be
a millionaire?

To take care of Mommy.

You're a good boy, Tommy.

I wasn't kidding Mrs. Hanson
when I said I wouldn't mind
having someone like you.

- All finished?
- Mm hmm.

I don't know if I should
have let you eat cake
so late at night.

- Well, I can...
- Well, I can handle it.

Okay, scoot to bed then.

- Now you won't be afraid in
here if I leave my door open?
- Nah.

That's good.
Would you, um...

Would you kiss me good night?

You want a plain kiss
or a sliding?

I can imagine what a plain is,
but what's a sliding?

- That was a sliding.
- Oh! Thank you.

- Oh. How about
saying your prayers?
- Okay doke.

- Good morning, Mr. Gowan.
- How'd it go?

- We had a wonderful time.
- Good, good.

Mommy, Mommy!

Oh, good morning, Millie.

Good morning, Mrs. Hanson. Do
you know that Mrs. Basset
isn't home yet?

- My goodness.
- Tommy was all alone in the
middle of the night

-so I broke in and took
him to my place.
- Well!

Mrs. Hanson, I think you'd
better call the police.

Oh, no. She probably expected
me to take care of Tommy.
It's not the first time.

- Just the same...
- Now you run along to work
and don't fret!

Just the same, I...
All right.

- Goodbye, pal.
- Where are you going, Millie?

- I'm late for work!
- Won't you stay and
play with me?

I wish I could. But I'll see
you when I come home.

Don't forget, you're my
boyfriend now.

Okay.

Third floor, business offices.
Going up.

- She asked me to come see her.
- Oh. May I have your name?

Andrews, Doug Andrews.

Mr. Douglas Andrews
to see you.

The bus driver.

He says he's a bus driver.

Okay.

Whose bus do you drive?

(WOMEN WHISTLING)

Look, if you were just carried
away by an impulse yesterday
I'll leave quietly.

You are really independent
aren't you, Mr. Andrews.

I'm just giving you a chance
to get off the hook.

That's very considerate of you.

But I told you yesterday
that I liked your
independence.

- Sit down, please.
- Thanks.

Now, to begin at the
beginning... You don't have
to do that, Mr. Andrews.

Now, did you have any
particular job in mind?

We act on the principle that
people are happiest doing the
work they like.

I'd like to be a floor walker.

- A what?
- A floor walker.

Really, why?

Well, I have a blue suit,
and I like carnations.

You're quite a kidder, aren't
you, Mr. Andrews?

No kidding, I'd make a darn
good floor walker.

Well, I'm used to pushing
people around.

Is this a permanent ambition
or just a temporary notion?

Oh, until something better
comes along...

That's too bad.

At Bullard's we like to feel
that our employees are joining
our happy family forever.

Lady, do you always
talk like that?

With you, I guess
I'd better not.

Tell me about yourself.

Anything you want to know,
just ask me.

What did you do before you
ran a bus?

- Well, the army ran me.
- Oh, yes, of course.
And before that?

Advertising copywriter.

Well, now we do have a
large advertising
department...

I quit because I didn't
like the job.

- Then we're back to
walking the...
- Walking the floor.

There's something else I'd
better tell you. After I got
out of the army,

before I drove a bus,
I wrote a book.

- What?
- I wrote a book.

Oh!

Shall I go now?

That's very interesting.

I'm waiting now to see if
somebody'll find it
interesting enough to publish.

(BUZZER RINGING)

- What's your book about?
- Well, it's about people.

Aren't books usually about
people, Mr. Andrews?

Yes, Madge?

Put her on!

Hello, Mrs. Hanson.

Oh, no!

Oh, I can't believe...

When?

Oh, yes of course I will.
Right now.

So I think I owe it to you
to tell you about the book.

You'll have to excuse me, you
really will. Come back in a
day or two.

Come back tomorrow
if you'd like.

I'll call you later, Madge.

What did you do to the boss?
Make a pass?

Honey, I don't know whether
you know it, but, uh,

you're working for quite
a screwball.

(WOMEN WHISTLING)

- Mrs. Hanson!
- MRS. HANSON: Oh, Millie.

- How did it happen?
- It was simply terrible, dear.

Poor Mrs. Basset. It happened
sometime last night.

She was cutting across
Beverly Boulevard when
a truck came along.

- Last night?
- They didn't know who she was
at first, or where she lived.

- They had to check her
fingerprints.
- They? Who? Where's Tommy?

The police, dear. They were
here a little while ago.

They took Tommy with them.
I went along too.

They took Tommy?

Someone has to take care of him.

- Where?
- A foundling home.

Tommy? In one of...

How could you let them?
Which one?

I have the address written down.

Well hurry, Mrs. Hanson,
he'll be terrified.

May I see Tommy Bassett please?

Bassett? Oh yes...

- Are you a relative?
- No, I'm a close friend.

I live in the same
apartment house.

- Your name please?
- Mildred McGonigle.

- May I help you?
- A friend to see the
Bassett child.

- Oh yes. This way please.
- Thank you.

As a matter of fact I'm glad
you came. Tommy's been a
bit of a problem.

It's a difficult adjustment
for a youngster, you know.

"...and then the little donkey
threw back his ears and ran
and ran and ran.

-"And as he ran and ran
and..."
- We'll just go through here.

"...he said 'hee-haw, hee-haw,
hee-haw!'

-"I'm the fastest donkey you
ever saw!"
-(LAUGHTER)

Tommy's in here.

Why is he all alone?

He just feels a little
strange yet.

In a week or so he'll be
playing with the others.

In a week or so...

Hello, Tommy!

Tommy! It's Millie!

It's your pal!

I won't do it!

- Darling, nobody wants
you to do...
- I won't do anything!

- I won't, I won't, I wont!
- Darling, please be quiet and
listen to me!

You're not very old,
it's true, but you've
got a bright mind.

Nobody's trying to hurt you.

WOMAN: Tommy, should I bring
you that nice tray of
food now?

- Didn't he eat?
- WOMAN: Not his lunch.

I'll eat a frog and die!
I'll bet I can!

Yes, darling, I'll bet
you can do anything.

I'll bet you can be a brave
boy, too. And a good boy.

I want to go home.

Oh, but you see, darling,
this is your home now.

With all these other children.
It's like having lots of
brothers and sisters.

- I want my mommy.
- Oh, Tommy!
Oh, Tommy!

Oh, darling.

Mr. Galloway, there's a lady
here about an adoption.

WOMAN: He doesn't want to be
disturbed unless it's urgent.

It is urgent. There's a child
who needs a mother.

I don't know of anything
more urgent than that.

WOMAN: She says it is urgent.

Yes, sir.

If you go to the office at the
end of the hall

- Mr. Galloway will see you
as soon as possible.
- Thank you.

Good afternoon.

I'm Mr. Galloway.

But you're so young.

The girl said it was urgent.

It is. It's about
Tommy Bassett.

- Oh yes, the new one.
- Yes. I want to adopt him,
Mr. Galloway.

I can furnish you with
excellent references. I have a
good job and enough money...

- Now just take it easy.
- I can't take it easy, Mr.
Galloway, with him needing me.

And he does. Believe me,
I know. I grew up in one of
these institutions myself.

Suppose we just sit down
and talk about it.

- You're a
businesswoman, Mrs...
- You can phone Mr. Kirkland.

He's the president of
Bullard's. Just ask him about
Mildred McGonigle.

That's not quite what I was
getting at.

I'm a businessman too.
I deal in futures of children.

Quite a responsibility.

There isn't anything you can't
know about me, Mr. Galloway,
past or present.

Have you any other children,
Mrs. McGonigle?

Children? Me?
Good heavens, no!

There are generally two people
facing me in an interview
like this.

Now, before placing your name
on our list, I would like to
talk to you with your husband.

My... husband?

Too often people decide to
adopt a child to fill some
need in their own lives.

Say, to try to hold together
a marriage which is on the
brink of a failure.

Oh, but that's not true in my
case, it...

couldn't be.

Good.

But surely you must have some
cases where the person who
wants to adopt the child

is a... widow, perhaps.
Or an unmarried woman?

I'm afraid not. Why, there've
been some of these I'd like
to have adopted myself.

But I'm a bachelor.

So, if you'll bring in your
husband to see me...

Mr. Galloway,
I have no husband.

- No?
- No.

- If you'd told me in
the beginning...
- Oh that is I'm not married...

-...yet.
- Surprising.
Attractive girl like...

Are you planning on being
married soon?

- If I did could I have
Tommy then?
- I don't know. Perhaps.

How long do I have?

Well, Tommy won't be eligible
for adoption at all until
after a period of 60 days.

That's to give us a chance to
locate any relatives who might
wish to care for him.

I see, 60 days...

So if you'll bring in your
fiance and let me
talk to him...

Oh, no.

- Why not?
- I mean, he's...

Oh, I'd be glad to bring him
in just as soon as
he gets here.

He's out of town right
now, you see.

Oh, he's way up, in...
Alaska!

Oh.

Well, I hope you'll be able
to work it out.

So do I.

- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.

Now I've got to get a husband.

Ronald Q. Smith, luggage
and leather goods.

James Sweet, married.

Conway Swithers, married.

John Tucker... single!

Age: 67.

(BUZZER RINGING)

Yes, Madge.
Send him in.

Well, what kind of a screwy
exit have you planned
for today?

I'm sorry about that.
But it really was urgent.

Sit down, Mr. Andrews.

Where'd we gotten to?

Well, we were discussing my
qualifications as a
floor walker.

If you're really serious,
I suppose it depends on how
you impress Mr. Willoughby

- in your blue suit.
- With a carnation.

Yes. Well let's get a few
facts on you. You were in the
army. How long?

- Three years.
- Where?

- Pacific, everywhere from
Guadalcanal to Alaska.
- Alaska...

Did you say... Alaska?

Yeah.

Why, what's the matter?

Oh, nothing.
Nothing, it's...

...just that I was talking
about someone... in Alaska...
just last night!

A coincidence.

You know, somebody ought to
tell ya, you are the
screwiest dame.

I haven't been able to decide
why I like ya.

But you do?

Well, let's just say you don't
give me a rash, huh?

Oh, I didn't mean...
I only meant...

We'd better go on.

Mr. Andrews, are you...

...married?

- Me?
- You're not?

Why, do I look married?

Oh, no! You're the most
unmarried-looking man I've
ever seen.

But you can't always tell.

Oh. Furthermore, I don't
intend to get married.

- Oh?
- Yeah, you just put that down
there too, right down there.

Yes, um, "stubbornly single."

And now, Mr. Andrews, I'm
going to ask you a question

which may seem
a little peculiar to you.

Lady, nothing you could say
would surprise me.

Are you fond of children?

Kids? I could take 'em or
leave 'em alone.

But you're not against them,
you're not anti-children?

No, I'm not, uh...

Look, what has all this got to
do with my being a
floor walker?

You'd be surprised...

I mean, that is, we get a lot
of children in the store

and Mr. Willoughby, he's in
charge of floor walkers, he's
very particular.

- (KNOCKING ON DOOR)
- Come in.

Excuse me, Miss McGonigle, but
are you going to want me any
more tonight?

I've got a date, but if you
need me I can...

- Heavens!
No, Madge, run along.
- Thanks.

Madge!
Couldn't you have asked me
that on the phone?

Oh! Oh, no, I couldn't.

Um, it must be wonderful to be
the way you are.

How am I?

Well, to be able to drive a
bus off the main street
and walk away.

Just to act on impulse.

Hey, ya know something?

There's nothing like a nice,
tall, cool impulsive soda at
the end of the day.

- How about having one with me,
hmm?
- Oh, I don't know, I...

Oh, come on, I'm not an
employee yet!

Oh, but isn't it a
little early...

All right.

Let's go.

Well, look, maybe it is a
little early, I don't know...

How about a little bit of tea
then, or some coffee, or...

hot cho... that's it, how about
some hot chocolate, hmm?

Oh, do you like hot chocolate?

Yeah. Real hot chocolate.
It's hard to get, though, at a
soda fountain.

- It's practically impossible.
- Yeah, they give you that thin
watery kind.

Yes I know, and it should be
made with half cream and half
milk, and lots of...

Mr. Andrews, I know where we
could get some proper
hot chocolate.

(TEA TRAY RATTLING)

Come now, Millie, there's
nothing to be nervous about.

- I'll carry that!
- Oh!

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to
creep up on you...

Oh, that's all right.
I'm used to it.

- Oh, I mean, I...
- All this, and cookies
too, eh?

Oh, they're just some I bought.

Sometime I'll have to
let you try the kind I...

bake myself.

You mean there are women
left who can cook?

I'm really quite domestic,
really.

Let's just have the lamp,
shall we? I think it's much
cozier, don't you?

Anything you say.

(CHINA RATTLING)

Hey. Now that looks
like real hot chocolate!

Mr. Andrews...
would you mind if...

would you mind if I got into
something a little more...

...comfortable, Mr. Andrews?

Why should I?

Oh!

Oh, I never thought
grandmother's Christmas
present would come to

a fate worse than death!

Oh, why not?
It's my best feature.

Nothing ever happened to her.

(LAUGHING)

You might as well face it.
You're ridiculous!

Is that what you call getting
into something comfortable?

I find suits very comfortable.

So do I.
We have a lot in common,
haven't we?

- Have we?
- Yeah. Suits, and...

Uh, hot chocolate.

Hey, uh, let's be friends, huh?

Oh, wouldn't you
like some music?

Here I come.
Don't jump!

Or, I have records...
In case you'd like
those better...

I have quite a collection
of... records.

Put your hands on my shoulders.

- On your shoulders?
- That's right.

Well, I...
I don't understand.

All right, you may take them
down now.

Quite obviously that
isn't what you want.

Not that it's such a bad
idea though...

Oh, I think it's a perfectly
revolting idea, Mr. Andrews.

I don't blame you for
misunderstanding.
I'm terribly sorry.

I guess I'm not very good
at this sort of thing.

You're just plain silly
at this sort of thing.

Of course, none of this
affects your job as a
floor walker.

I'll send your application
to Mr. Willoughby
in the morning.

With my recommendation.

Hey, it might be better
all around if you were to
tell me all about it.

(SIGHS)

Hey, look, there's something
under that yellow hair
of yours.

What is it anyway, hm?

I'm curious. I'm curious
partly because I'm curious,
and

uh, partly because I like you.

That's better.
Now,

now why don't you come clean
and tell me what is it you're
trying to get, hm?

I'm trying to get a child.

- I've heard everything.
- He's so darling,
and he likes me.

But they won't let me adopt
him unless...
unless I'm married.

Oh, you mean you want to
adopt a child.

Yes, he used to live across
the court, and his mother was
killed in a traffic accident.

Now he's an orphan.
But I have to have a husband
to get him.

And you were trying to trap
me as a husband?

Me, a husband?

Will you get out of here?

What?
I'm the last man on Earth.

Alright.
You're the last man on Earth,
and I don't want you.

Hey, wait a minute.
We're friends again,
remember?

Look, you want a husband.
Okay, that's normal enough.

Every woman needs a husband.
And I have no
objection to marriage.

Just so it doesn't happen to me.

Look, McGonigle, you're
helping me get a job, eh?
Okay, turn about.

Suppose I pitch in and
help you try to get a
husband.

- How could you?
- Advice, psychology.

Two heads are better than one.

Now look, we'll plan the
campaign very, very carefully.

The objective,
the strategy,
the attack.

Now what men do you know?

Quite a lot, who doesn't?

Yeah, I mean, what men do you
know right now that might be
considered eligible?

- None. Except you.
- Alright...

No! Not me, no.

What about the store?
Now, Bullard's must be
bristling with bachelors.

- There's a John Tucker
in Men's Clothing.
- Oh?

- He'll be 68 years old
next February.
- Uh huh.

Well, uh, how about
men in the neighborhood?

Well, there is a man
in the next apartment.

(GROANS)
No, no, I think we'd better
forget about him.

Well, what's the matter
with him?

- Nothing's the matter with
him. Quite the contrary.
- Is he single?

Yes indeed.
Mr. Gowan is decidedly
single.

- But I'm afraid he's gonna
stick by his decision.
- Gowan...

That tall hunk of muscle that
talks like his own
advertisements?

Yes, Phillip Gowan,
you know him?

Yeah, I've run into him a
couple of times.

He's a good advertising man,
if there is such a thing.

His professional life is above
reproach, but his personal
life, well...

He's the kind of a wolf who
goes for the handiest
beautiful dame,

you know what I mean? No.

Who else is there?

Oh! There's Mr. Galloway.

He's not a wolf. He's the
superintendent of the founding
home where Tommy is now.

- He's not married...
- Good,

then we got one to go on,
and we'll get more lined up
as we go along.

Now, the first thing we've got
to do is get you some genuine
feminine oomph.

- Do you think it'll do any
good?
- You want Tommy, don't you?

Oh, I certainly do.

Well then, you just listen to
me, and your life won't be
an empty book.

(GASPS)

Would you direct me
to the lingerie?

Second floor, Madame.
Take the elevator.

- Thank you.
- It's a pleasure, Madame.

Excellent, Mr. Andrews,
excellent.

Thank you, Mr. Willoughby.
Thank you.

Would you okay this,
Mr. Andrews?

Thank you.

Definitely disturbing to
morale, Mr. Andrews.

Definitely a blond.
Definitely.

Corsets, Madame?
Second floor,
take the elevator.

How did you guess what
was on my mind?

You're wanted in the gown
department, Mr. Andrews.

On the whole, I'm pleased,
Mr. Andrews. I have decided
that I can give you my trust.

Mr. Willoughby,
I will never betray it.

Aren't you a little young
for this sort of thing?

I can handle it.

Pretty fast on the upbeat, son.

Hey!

Jeepers!

Millie, you look prettier
than a Christmas tree.

- Thank you, darling.
- Don't you find this charming?

Madame, that's an
understatement.
She's ravishing.

Will you pardon me just a
moment?

So this is the object of your
affections, eh?

It certainly is.
Tommy, shake hands with the
floor walker.

- A what?
- Overlook it.
I used to be a bus driver.

- This is Mr. Andrews, Tommy.
- Hi.

- Hi.
- Now you sit right there, pal,
and I'll be back in a second.

Okay.

You two look swell together.
And the man who's missing
from the picture

shouldn't be missing for long.

Hey, you really look terrific.

Hey, by the way,
how you doing with
Galloway?

He let me have Tommy
for the whole afternoon.

In fact, he drove us downtown.

Oh, that's fine.
Now, that's real progress.

How'd it go?
What did you talk about?

- Tommy.
- No, I mean the general
impression.

- How did you part?
What were his last words?
- Why, he said goodbye.

Ha!

- Swing me!
- Oh! Won't it hurt his arms?

Nah, boys are half men,
and men are half monkeys.
Is that right, kid?

- That's right, kid.
- That's right, kid.

RECEPTIONIST: And Mr. Johnson
called to say there would be a

-board meeting at 2:30
tomorrow.
- Oh, thank you.

Well, don't we all look
brand new?

- Hello, Mr. Galloway.
- You too, Tommy.

- That's right, kid.
- Tommy!

Oh, Mr. Galloway,
this is Mr. Douglas Andrews.

- How do you do?
- How do you do?

Well,
I'm glad to meet you at last.

- Yes, and I'm glad to meet
you.
- Yes indeed.

Yes, sir.

- Wanna play with the children?
- I wanna play baseball
with Doug.

How are things in Alaska?

You were in Alaska...

- Well, once I...
- No, no, he's not from Alaska.

I mean he's not the only one.
There's another one.

- "Another one," what?
- Oh, I'm sorry.

I suppose, I really am sorry.

"Another" what?

Oh, Miss McGonigle told me
that her future...

Um, Doug, you'd better take me
home now. Tommy's tired.

- Goodbye, darling.
- I'm not a bit tired.

Now, you be a good boy,
and I'll come and see you
tomorrow.

- Would you like that?
- Doug too?

What is this Doug business
all of a sudden?

You haven't answered me yet.
"Another," what?

Doug, I've got to go.

Do I get a sliding?

- Aw.
- Please?

Okay.

- Oh, thank you!
- You're okay.

- Well Tommy, supper time.
- Millie...

- Very glad to have met you,
even if...
- Even if what?

- Goodbye, darling.
- Will I see you soon?

- You sure will.
- Yes, I'm coming to see
Tommy tomorrow.

- Goodbye, Mr. Galloway.
- Bye, Miss McGonigle.
Goodbye Andrews.

- Goodbye, Tommy.
- Goodbye, Millie!
Goodbye, Doug!

- Goodbye, kid.
- Goodbye, darling.

- What was all that double
talk?
- What double talk?

- About Alaska.
- Oh, just something I'd said.
Nothing.

Something about "your future"
what?

Well, if you must know
everything, I told him my

future husband was coming
from Alaska.

What is he, an Eskimo?

Aren't you funny?

That's just about what you'll
end up with, the way you
treated Mr. Galloway.

What way?
What did I do?

Ah, you brushed him off
like he was a piece of
furniture.

It's what you didn't do
that's so bad.

Alright, I'm waiting.
What didn't I do?

There was no warmth, no guile.

A new outfit, and you acted
like it was still on a
clothes hanger.

What should I have done,
jumped on his lap and given
him a big hug?

And the way you talked.
The way you said, "Hello,
Mr. Galloway."

- How did I say, "Hello,
Mr. Galloway?"
- Just like that.

"Hello, Mr. Galloway."

Perhaps I should have
said it in French.

Well at least you could have
used a bit more "come hither"
in your tone.

To be blunt,
you could have used a
little more...

A little more bedroom
in your tone.

Double or twin beds?

Look, Millie, it isn't,
"Hello, Mr. Galloway."

It's, "Hello, Mr. Galloway."

Oh, honestly...

It is now, it's
"Hello, Mr. Galloway."
You try it.

- Go ahead.
- Hello, Mr. Galloway.

No, no,
"Hello, Mr. Galloway."

- Hello Mr. Galloway.
- Yeah, that's better.
Do it again.

- Hello, Mr. Galloway.
- Now you're getting it.
Now try with a little bit...

Well, a little bit of surprise
in your voice, eh?

Now, try and dilate your
pupils when you say it.
Say,

"Hello, Mr. Galloway."

- Hello, Mr. Galloway.
- That's it, that's it.

Hello, Mr. Galloway.

Hello, Mr. Galloway.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

- The man paid me.
- Oh my goodness,
you're honest.

Without a nickel,
I'd of been paid off in
laughs.

"Hello!"
(LAUGHING)
Carry some of these in?

- Why hello, Mr. Gowan.
- Hello.

Why, hello.

- Lovely day, isn't it?
- Let me help you with these.

- There didn't seem to be so
many when I bought them.
- Shopping spree?

- To put it mildly.
- Celebrating something?

Is that the only reason
a woman goes on a spree?

The usual one.

You know a lot about women,
don't you, Mr. Gowan?

- Enough to admit I know
nothing.
- Really?

At least I can get
awfully fooled.

What have you done to
yourself, Butch?

Oh me, why, nothing.
I've just put on a new
dress.

You've put on a lot more
than that.
I like the way it fits.

You mean I had you fooled?

You were on the chilly side.

- It's a cozy place you have
here.
- Thank you.

- Here let me...
- No, thank you.

Well, I'm glad I've gotten to
know you a little better,
neighbor.

- Are you sure?
- Well, you know how it is
with neighbors.

- Now we can run back and forth
for a cup of sugar or
something.

(CHUCKLING)
Whenever you need a cup of
sugar, do come by.

- Thanks so much for helping
me.
- Oh, not at all.

- So long, Butch.
- So long.

Well, what do you know?

(PHONE RINGING)

(FLIRTATIOUSLY)
Hello.

- Is Miss McGonigle there?
- This is Ms. McGonigle.

It is? Well this is Doug.
What's the matter, are you
chewing taffy or something?

- Taffy?
- Your voice sounds funny.

Oh? Well you might as well
get used to it.

I planned to sit down and bat
out a couple of pages tonight,
but I got to thinkin'.

- What about?
- About you.

- Oh?
- You know, that Galloway
is just the man for you.

Solid, substantial,
can father children.

I think he'd make a fine
husband. He's everything
you should want.

- I know, but...
- But what?

Well, sometimes a girl wants
what she shouldn't want.

For instance, who do you
suppose helped me with my
packages just now?

Oh, wait just a minute, Doug.
There's somebody at the door.

Alright, I'll wait.

- Just as I was about to bake a
cake.
-(BOTH LAUGH)

White or brown sugar?
I have both.

- Which...
- Oh, my shoes!

Oh no, don't go away.
You look very cute with your
feet on.

Hey, Millie!

How do you like that.
Hello!

Butch, are you lonesome
this evening?

Oh, well,
not any more than usual.

Because I'm giving a little
dinner party tonight, and I
hoped you'd join in.

Well, I...

Hey, screwball!

Screwball!

Would you excuse me?
I left someone hanging
on the telephone.

Hello?

Oh Doug, I'm sorry.
It was Mr. Gowan from
next door.

Aw, what's the matter with
your voice?

(MORE SERIOUS)
Mr. Gowan, from next door.
Is that better?

That's okay. Who?
Now what did he want?

Oh, just being neighborly.

We're going to a party together.

- Goodnight, Doug.
- Goodnight.

Hey, wait a minute!

Is this satisfactory,
Mr. Gowan?

I never like to sit too close
to the music, do you?

- The drummer pounds in your
eardrum.
- This is perfect.

Cocktail?

Should I be ashamed to confess
to you that I don't drink?

- Not at all.
Nothing right now, Frank.
- Very nice.

I thought you said you
were giving a party.

I am, for us.
How many people does it take
to make a party?

Well, I don't know.
I never thought.

A party is the tooting of
horns and a storm of
confetti,

but it isn't singing on the
dance floor that matters
it's feeling it inside you.

- By the way, you do dance?
- Oh, love to.

- Mr. Gowan...
- Phil, please.
We're at a party.

I want to ask you a question
which may seem a little
peculiar to you.

Go ahead.

Are you fond of children?

Me?

- I think that's the driest
evening I've ever spent.
- Oh, I'm sorry.

- One of the nicest.
- Then I'm not sorry.

You know, Butch, you've got
something. What it is, I don't
know yet, but

I'm afraid you're going to
bring out the best in me.

I don't remember leaving my
lights on.
Why, I never do.

Uh, I'm uh...
awfully dry though.

Goodnight, Phil.
It was lovely.

- Awfully dry.
- Oh, there's only milk in the
ice box.

- Well, is it a cold, wet,
glass of milk?
- Phil,

let's not spoil it.

- Well, aren't we out late?
- (MILLIE GASPING)

- Doug!
- You know, I had the darnedest
time talking my way in here.

- What are you doing in my
apartment?
- That Mrs. Hanson,

- a very suspicious character.
- Doug.

Well, did we have a good time,
hm?

Phil, as we were saying,
won't you come in, please?

Thank you.

Phil, this is Mr. Douglas
Andrews. Mr. Gowan.

- How do you do?
- Hi.

Um, Mr. Andrews is just sort
of an acquaintance of mine.

He works in the store, you see.

That's right, I'm just sort of
an acquaintance.
(CLICKING TONGUE)

Look, old man,
I'm just a neighbor.

Phil, did you mean what you
said about the milk?

- I certainly did.
- Sure, honey, get the man
a glass of milk.

- Sit down, old man.
- Have a chair yourself.

- What do you do at the store,
Andrews?
- I'm a floor walker.

- Oh?
- Yeah.

Do you find it interesting,
walking a floor?

You may be doing that yourself
some day.

- Fathers sometimes have to.
- I've heard.

Thank you.

- Well now, what did we do?
- We went dancing.

Well then, you must be tired.

- Hm?
- Not at all.

- Well, you must be tired.
- I'm awfully tired of
something.

Well, if you have to
floor-walk all day long, you
must be pretty tired yourself.

Who, me? Never. It's a trick
I learned in the army. Always
conserve your strength for

emergencies.
Were you in the army?

- Navy.
- Hm, I thought so.

Well,
I remember on Guadalcanal...

- Were you on Guadalcanal?
- No.

Hm, I thought not.
Well,

this is a long story,
but it's very interesting.

Ah, this was the fifth day
of the attack.

And there we were for five
days without a wink of sleep.

Of course, in our fix,
to sleep was to die, so...

And another time:
this will fascinate you.

It was near the end of the
Okinawa campaign.

- Oh, were you in Okinawa?
- MILLIE: You told us about
Okinawa.

- DOUG: Yes, but not this part.
Now as I was saying...
- MILLIE: And saying,

and saying...

DOUG: The Japs were about to
surrender, but from the battle
they were putting up,

you'd, well,
you'd never guess it.

No, sir, you'd never guess it.
So it was all work and no
sleep.

All work and no sleep.

- Tired, Gowan?
- Yes. I am.

I guess I'd better turn in at
that.

I guess we'd all better
turn in at that.

I'm awfully sorry, old man.

- Goodnight!
- Goodnight.

- Sorry, neighbor.
- Well, that's alright.

- Could I borrow another
cup of sugar soon?
- Please do. Goodnight.

Goodnight, Butch.

- Doug, I'm furious.
- You know, I thought the guy
would never give up.

Whatever gave you the idea
that I can't take care of
myself

without your protection?

If he'd stuck it out for five
minutes more,

I don't think I'd been able to
think up another lie.

You know, your interference
in my life can get boring.

Honey,
the guy's no good for you.

Well, you kindly let me decide
who's good for me.

- Hm,
that's the way you cut it?
- That's the way I cut it.

You know,
you're cute when you're mad.

Oh!

Right down the middle!

Curve one, Millie!

Alright, you asked for it.

I can handle it!

- Hot stuff.
- Oh, you're going already?

- If I expect to make that
plane.
- We'll miss you.

That's pretty flattering,
lady, seeing it's only
for a week.

- Oh, we will.
- Do you, uh...

Do you suppose I could
break this up for a minute?

- Oh, certainly.
- Okay, friend?

Okay.

-(MILLIE SIGHS)
- You're really wrapped up in
that kid.

- Like a package. Blame me?
- TOMMY: Look at me, Millie!

I'm looking, darling.

- Millie, you mind answering
a question?
- Oh, but careful, Tommy!

- What do you hear from Alaska?
- Hm?

- Alaska.
- Where?

- Alaska, Millie.
- Oh!

- Your young man,
is he arriving soon?
- Oh, him.

- Yes, Millie.
- Yes, well, um,
not right away.

Oh, but perhaps fairly soon.
I hope.

Oh, you know, Ralph,
they had the most awful
weather up there last winter.

- Cold.
- And the frost bite!

- Your toes and your nose,
it's devastating!
- Mmhmm.

In fact, it's practically
evaporating, isn't it, Millie?

- Huh?
- Millie McGonigle,

there isn't any young man
from Alaska, is there?

Oh, Ralph, I'm terribly
ashamed I lied to you,
I really am.

- Millie...
- I wanted Tommy so much,
and you said...

- Must he be from Alaska,
Millie?
- I had to have... Hm?

- I've known you how long,
two months?
- Uh huh.

I don't know why a thing like
this should be blurted out,
but

I suppose if nothing were ever
blurted out, I...

A lot of things would never
get said.

(CAR HORN HONKING)

- It couldn't happen!
- Why, Doug!

- It couldn't happen,
but it did.
- What?

TOMMY: Hey, Doug!

Hiya, mush face!
Millie, I... I...

I can hardly believe it
myself, but you're looking at
an author.

- Me.
- Doug, no!

- Now we can have some fun!
- I got myself a publisher.

Play catch with me,
will ya, huh?

- Well sure,
I'll play anything!
- Jeepers!

- What publisher?
- RALPH: Millie...

Mitchell Press.

The trouble with Millie,
she hasn't got a curve.

- Ha, you hear that?
Even little boys notice!
- When, Doug, the book?

- Fall publication...
- Millie, I...

I'm going to New York next week.

- Gonna talk about a second
one.
- That's wonderful.

Wonderful, terrific, goodbye.

- Oh, Ralph!
- What's going on?

Oh, Ralph, I'm terrible sorry.

- Did I break up something?
- You certainly did.

Hey, I wouldn't have...

Oh, that's the last thing...

Great littler freezer-outer,
aren't you?

- Well, why didn't you say
something?
- TOMMY: Hey, throw it!

- And why didn't he?
- You know something?

- Huh?
- I'm absolutely certain he was
about to propose.

- Propose?
- (CHUCKLING) Yeah.

- Well knock me down...
- (MILLIE LAUGHING)

I'm awfully glad you're back,
Ralph,

but Doug and I are taking
Tommy on a picnic today.

- It wasn't so long ago that...
- Tomorrow's it then.

- Goodbye.
-...you were bemoaning the
lack of eligible bachelors.

(PHONE BUZZING)
You know something? The most
amazing thing has happened.

- Well, send him in.
- I can see that.

Suddenly, the world is full
of bachelors.

It's like that first olive
out of the bottle.

- One of the olives?
- No, the pickle.

And definitely dill.

- Hello, Doug.
- Hi.

- Hey, you talk kind of fresh
today, eh?
- You look kind of fresh.

- Where's your carnation?
- I checked it in, I'm on my
way to New York tomorrow.

- You got your reservation?
- Yup, just like that.
(SNAPS)

Do you always get everything
you want, like that?
(SNAPS)

- Well I always try, don't you?
- (PHONE BUZZING)

Yes?

Maybe I will.

Hello, Phil.

Gowan?

Oh, it sounds like fun, but
I've got a date with Doug.

- Hey, you're wasting your time
with that wolf.
- Yes, that's the one.

- You're a stinker, McGonigle.
- Well, opinions can differ...

Wait just a minute,
there's someone here.

He wants me to go to
Catalina on a yacht.

You're a real stinker.
I bet you haven't even told
him about Tommy.

As a matter of fact, Phil,
my date isn't just with Doug,
but

with the real love of my life.
You remember Tommy?

Yes, Tommy Bassett.
We're going on a picnic
together.

- Now watch him run.
- Oh, you're not an orphan
too.

Say, maybe I can fix it for
you to come along.

- If you do, I'll invite
Galloway.
- Alright, I'll call you.

- (MILLIE CHUCKLING)
- (DOUG LAUGHING)

Goodbye.

- Shall we go?
- I'm on my way, honey.

Ah, what a life.
Right in travel,
travelin' right.

Then I guess we won't
be seeing each other
for quite a while.

We could have dinner together
tonight?

- Is that an invitation?
- Sure it is.

Then I'd like to.

I just had a thought.
Maybe I'll go back to Alaska.

You know, I remember a great,
big, lonely valley up there.

That'd be a wonderful place
to write a book.

- Then go to Alaska.
Go to...
- Hey, hey!

You know, I don't blame either
Gowan or Galloway for
falling for you.

- Eh, you're quite a dish,
McGonigle.
- I'll bet.

Suppose I were to lean over
and give you a great, big,
sliding kiss.

Wanna try?

I never kiss single women,
they're too eager to get
married.

Oh!

Where's Mr. Galloway, please?

- He's in the play room,
Miss McGonigle.
- Thank you.

He's such a manly little fellow.

And in a way, how much he
looks like Susan, don't you
think so, dear?

- Yes, they'd make a good
looking team.
- Millie!

Tommy.

- Look, they went and got me
all dressed up.
- Sh.

- Is he a good boy?
- Tommy's a very good boy.

Where's Doug?
When does the picnic begin?

We'll see, darling.

Now, don't make up your mind
all of a sudden, Mother.

Oh, but he's just adorable.

You know that, Tommy?
You're just sweet enough
to eat.

- Who, me?
- Watch your manners, dear.

This is Miss McGonigle,
a friend of Tommy's.

- Mr. and Mrs. Wilson.
- How do you do?
Excuse us please.

Mr. Galloway,
when can we see the boy again?

- As often as you'd like.
- Tomorrow then?

- Mmhmm.
- Goodbye, darling.

- Goodbye, Ma'am.
- I'm certain he's just the
one.

- Who are those people?
- Some very nice people
from Arizona.

What right have they to
talk to Tommy?

- Three years ago,
they adopted a little girl...
- Now they want to adopt Tommy.

- As a playmate for a...
- They can't have him.

Millie, it's August.

The 60 days have passed.

But it's so early in August.

- What are they going to do
to me now?
- Oh, darling.

The man said I could have
a horse.

- Oh, Tommy.
- I don't want a horse,
I want you.

Oh, and I want you.

(SIGHS)

Where's Doug?
He'll get me out of this!

Doug, oh sure,
he'll get you out of this.

Millie, listen to me.

- Ralph, please help me.
- You know how I feel about
you. You must have guessed.

Yes, Ralph.

Will you marry me?

- Why, I...
- The three of us wouldn't make
a bad looking family.

I don't know, Ralph, I...

I like you so much.

Maybe too much.

Now what's goin' on?

Tommy, listen:

whom do you like,
Mr. Galloway or Mr. Gowan?

- They're both okay.
- No, I mean,
whom do you like best?

If you could choose your
own father,
whom would you take?

Why, Doug, naturally.

- You're a big help.
- Well, you asked me,
didn't you?

Aren't you being a little
absurd?

No, you're absurd.

You and your silly rules,
trying to take Tommy
away from me.

- No, I'm not...
- Well, you can just tell those
people from Arizona that I'll

die before I let them have him.

There goes my picnic.

- Drop me at a bus stop.
- I thought we were gonna...

- I said,
drop me at a bus stop.
- Alright, alright.

Move to the rear of the bus,
please.

There's plenty of room in the
rear, folks.
Kindly step back, miss.

Oh, shut up.

- Sorry I'm late.
- Come in, Doug.

- Hey!
- "Hey," what?

You're really gonna
out-class me tonight, huh?

Doug, I've been trying like
crazy to get you on the phone.

I've been saying goodbye to
some friends.

I can't go to dinner with you
tonight.

- Why not?
- Because...

My fiance wouldn't like it.

Fiance?

- Ralph?
- Phil.

Ralph asked me too.

Well, at least I'm glad
you didn't do it to Ralph.

I'll do everything I can
to make Phil happy.

Very pretty romance.
Somebody should write a book
about it.

- Why don't you?
- Quite a plot.

Girl falls in love with child.
Decides to get husband so
she can have child.

Gets husband.

- I love a story with a happy
ending.
- Oh, that's not the ending.

That's where it starts.

Oh?

Does she fall in love with
the husband after a while?

- Does she?
- If so, what does she do about
it?

Does she confess all?
If so, what does he do about
it?

How do you suppose the husband
feels when he finds out why
she married him?

Or suppose she falls in love
with someone else.

Falls truly in love with
someone else.

What then?

I guess that's her problem.

I'm sure you're just the gal
who can handle it.

But my advice is:
you never tell him.

A man likes to think that he
is loved for himself alone.

He wants to believe his woman
would throw away everything
to be with him.

Just him.

Doug,

who are we to trade bad words
when everything has turned out
so well for both of us?

We ought to celebrate.

Well, I haven't a thing to
drink except some ice water.

Ice water would be appropriate.

(DOOR BUZZES)

Come in, Phil.
The door's unlatched.

Hello, beautiful.
Oh, hello, Doug.

Hey, there was a little mix-up
about dinner.
(CHUCKLING)

Now you better get used to
mix-ups though,

because you're marrying the
most mixed-up dame
in the world.

I'm satisfied.

Yeah.

Well, I'll be going.

Oh, may a friend kiss a
friend's forehead goodbye?
Hm?

Friend has a nice forehead.
Take care of it.

Don't worry about that.

Well, every happiness.

And may all your children be...

May all your children be.

I can't go through with it,
Phil.

I hope you don't mean us.

I'm terribly ashamed,

because I tried every trick
to make you fall in love
with me.

Well, I tried every trick too.

But you see, I hadn't had
anyone to love for so long,
until Tommy.

- Tommy?
- And if I got married, they'd
let me adopt him.

That's why I tried to make
you fall in love with me.

That's not a very decent reason.

Wait a minute, Millie.

Don't look so tragic, darling.
You haven't done anything
so awful.

I tried to make you fall in
love with me too.

My purpose when I started
wasn't nearly as decent as
yours.

Then I found out, somewhat
to my surprise, that
I wanted to marry you.

I still want to marry you,
Millie.

I'm sorry, Phil.
It won't work.

Are you sure?

I'm awfully sure.

Well...
What are you going to do?

I don't know.

Is Mr. Galloway in?

- He's back in his office,
Miss McGonigle.
- Thank you.

Mr. Galloway, Miss McGonigle's
on her way in to see you.

- Well, hello.
- Hello, Ralph.

Millie, you've been crying.

I've been dripping like a
leaky faucet all night and
all day.

Shall I call the plumber?

Ralph, I've made the toughest
decision I've ever had to
make.

I hope I have strength enough
to keep it.

You've decided to give up Tommy.

- How did you know?
- You're a good girl, Millie.
You're as good as they come.

Oh no, I'm not a good girl.

I'm in love, horribly.

With Doug, that rat.

"A man likes to be loved
just for himself," he said.

Well, I love him that way.

(HICCUPS)

And I'm gonna follow him
wherever he goes,

the heel.

And then, he won't be able to
send me away, will he?

If he does, he's the greatest
fool on earth.

After all,
what Tommy needs is a home.
(HICCUPS)

And if someone cares for him
as much as I...
(HICCUPS)

He'll forget me.
(HICCUPS)

Here, drink this without
stopping for breath.

That's only a fresh supply of
tears.
(HICCUPS)

Could I say goodbye to Tommy
now?

- If I stop crying?
- Tommy's gone.

He was taken away an hour ago.

Oh, Ralph,

how could you be so cruel?

(SOBBING)

(HICCUPS)

Did you ever see a more
glorious day?

I always say that if heaven is
any prettier than California,

you've got to show me.

(BIRD CHIRPING)

- Fine way to treat a bird.
- Oh!

- I'm always creeping up
on you.
- Doug.

- Oh, Doug!
- Look out for my pie!

Oh, Doug, I love you!

I gave up Tommy.
I was willing to give him up.

Oh, I love you!
I love you!

I love you!

(STAMMERING)
This is pretty disgusting
McGonigle.

Now go into the bathroom and
and wipe your face. You got
lipstick all over your chin.

- What?
- You heard me.

- Yes, Doug.
- Hurry up.

- But don't go away. Promise me
you won't go away.
- Go on.

(GASPS)

Doug!

What did you expect?

(EXCLAIMING)

Well,
the kid finally went to sleep.

I had to tell him a
bed-time story.

Oh, Doug,
you're not just wonderful,

you're impossible.

I'm just nuts.

I'm crazy enough to let you
talk me into being a
prefabricated father.

- What could I do?
- I love you.

But get something straight:

one adoption in the family is
enough.

There are things a man likes
to do for himself.

Oh, yes?

You heard me.

Well, hello.

Hello yourself.