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00:00:05,874 --> 00:00:15,874
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PEPPER & LALASPAIN
*** SONG LIVES FOR EVER ***
2
00:00:20,742 --> 00:00:26,094
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
3
00:00:30,718 --> 00:00:32,285
You know,
4
00:00:32,287 --> 00:00:35,454
you go out with a girl and
sometimes it works out,
5
00:00:35,456 --> 00:00:37,390
you go out again.
6
00:00:37,392 --> 00:00:40,241
Sometimes it doesn't
and you move on.
7
00:00:41,328 --> 00:00:43,695
But if you just
hook up for a night,
8
00:00:43,697 --> 00:00:45,378
it's not a date.
9
00:00:46,367 --> 00:00:51,119
(WE COULD BE ANYTHING)
10
00:00:58,612 --> 00:01:00,612
♪ Every day friends
and lovers grow
11
00:01:00,614 --> 00:01:02,414
♪ Like flowers make mistakes
12
00:01:02,416 --> 00:01:04,249
♪ And spend the
hours living it down
13
00:01:04,251 --> 00:01:05,484
♪ Life's a game
14
00:01:05,486 --> 00:01:08,054
♪ A journey for us inside out
15
00:01:08,056 --> 00:01:11,490
♪ No doubt, no doubt
♪ But down the road
16
00:01:11,492 --> 00:01:13,426
♪ You're bound to
take a different route
17
00:01:13,428 --> 00:01:14,493
♪ Where it goes?
18
00:01:14,495 --> 00:01:15,627
♪ Nobody really knows
19
00:01:15,629 --> 00:01:17,430
♪ I've found in the end
20
00:01:17,432 --> 00:01:20,099
♪ It always comes back around
21
00:01:20,101 --> 00:01:23,403
♪ Somehow, somehow
♪ But I don't know
22
00:01:23,405 --> 00:01:24,736
♪ Why it has to be
23
00:01:24,738 --> 00:01:27,540
♪ So black and
white for you and me
24
00:01:27,542 --> 00:01:30,709
♪ When there's a million
colors in between
25
00:01:30,711 --> 00:01:32,759
♪ And we could be anything
26
00:01:33,782 --> 00:01:36,649
♪ The truth ain't
always what it seems
27
00:01:36,651 --> 00:01:39,652
♪ And right or wrong
lacks depth to me
28
00:01:39,654 --> 00:01:42,655
♪ Fear is our only enemy
29
00:01:42,657 --> 00:01:46,793
♪ And we could be
anything ♪ Anything
30
00:01:46,795 --> 00:01:47,826
Hey, you going out?
31
00:01:47,828 --> 00:01:49,162
Tom is it?
32
00:01:49,164 --> 00:01:50,162
Didn't work out.
33
00:01:50,164 --> 00:01:51,263
This one's a Max.
34
00:01:51,265 --> 00:01:52,230
Max?
35
00:01:52,232 --> 00:01:53,566
The bastard never showed.
36
00:01:53,568 --> 00:01:54,534
Josh?
37
00:01:54,536 --> 00:01:55,435
Jonathan.
38
00:01:55,437 --> 00:01:56,736
Seeing Jonathan again?
39
00:01:56,738 --> 00:01:57,602
Bruce.
40
00:01:57,604 --> 00:01:58,737
What does Bruce do?
41
00:01:58,739 --> 00:02:00,338
He's an interior decorator.
42
00:02:00,340 --> 00:02:01,274
He's not gay?
43
00:02:01,276 --> 00:02:02,674
I don't think he's gay.
44
00:02:02,676 --> 00:02:04,409
♪ You've got to
be alone sometimes
45
00:02:04,411 --> 00:02:05,510
♪ In the cold
46
00:02:05,512 --> 00:02:07,280
♪ Weathering the storm inside
47
00:02:07,282 --> 00:02:08,448
♪ So you know
48
00:02:08,450 --> 00:02:10,798
♪ No matter what
it's gonna be fine
49
00:02:13,387 --> 00:02:14,554
Where are you going?
50
00:02:14,556 --> 00:02:16,288
I'm meeting someone.
51
00:02:16,290 --> 00:02:17,189
Is it a date?
52
00:02:17,191 --> 00:02:18,691
No, it's not a date.
53
00:02:18,693 --> 00:02:19,859
Who are you meeting?
54
00:02:19,861 --> 00:02:21,394
Tom I think.
55
00:02:21,396 --> 00:02:22,562
You don't know?
56
00:02:22,564 --> 00:02:23,695
Pretty sure.
57
00:02:23,697 --> 00:02:24,830
And?
58
00:02:24,832 --> 00:02:29,201
And he's six foot,
curly brown hair,
59
00:02:29,203 --> 00:02:30,669
has a masters from UCLA
60
00:02:30,671 --> 00:02:33,105
and works for a financial
services company.
61
00:02:33,107 --> 00:02:34,240
At least that's what
his profile says.
62
00:02:34,242 --> 00:02:35,707
Are you dating
him or hiring him?
63
00:02:35,709 --> 00:02:37,776
It's not a "date" date.
64
00:02:37,778 --> 00:02:40,312
So where did you meet this
Tom or whatever his name is?
65
00:02:40,314 --> 00:02:41,480
I haven't met him yet.
66
00:02:41,482 --> 00:02:42,848
I'm going to meet him now.
67
00:02:42,850 --> 00:02:44,349
You don't know
who you're meeting?
68
00:02:44,351 --> 00:02:45,518
It's some guy I met online.
69
00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:47,520
So, he could be
Tom the ax murderer.
70
00:02:47,522 --> 00:02:49,855
Yes, dad, he could
be Tom the ax murderer.
71
00:02:49,857 --> 00:02:51,757
But we're gonna meet
in a public place
72
00:02:51,759 --> 00:02:53,425
and if he walks
in carrying an ax,
73
00:02:53,427 --> 00:02:55,594
I promise I'll just
excuse myself and leave.
74
00:02:55,596 --> 00:02:57,263
Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
75
00:02:57,265 --> 00:02:58,463
What?
76
00:02:58,465 --> 00:02:59,779
Too much blush.
77
00:03:01,336 --> 00:03:02,335
Are you wearing underwear?
78
00:03:02,337 --> 00:03:03,669
Yes, I'm wearing underwear!
79
00:03:03,671 --> 00:03:04,871
I'm glad you're
wearing underwear.
80
00:03:04,873 --> 00:03:05,737
Be careful.
81
00:03:05,739 --> 00:03:07,606
Dad, I'm not stupid.
82
00:03:07,608 --> 00:03:08,741
We're meeting for coffee.
83
00:03:08,743 --> 00:03:09,675
Just to talk.
84
00:03:09,677 --> 00:03:10,509
It is a date.
85
00:03:10,511 --> 00:03:11,743
No, it's not a date.
86
00:03:11,745 --> 00:03:13,479
It's a good idea when you meet
people online
87
00:03:13,481 --> 00:03:14,479
to meet them in a public place
88
00:03:14,481 --> 00:03:15,681
to get to know them first.
89
00:03:15,683 --> 00:03:17,483
And make sure they're
not going to kill you.
90
00:03:17,485 --> 00:03:18,450
That too.
91
00:03:18,452 --> 00:03:19,585
Bye.
92
00:03:19,587 --> 00:03:21,153
You've been doing
this a lot lately.
93
00:03:21,155 --> 00:03:24,423
It's just how people meet
nowadays, online, websites.
94
00:03:24,425 --> 00:03:26,391
Did you like that boy that
Aunt Cindy set you up with?
95
00:03:26,393 --> 00:03:27,627
No.
96
00:03:27,629 --> 00:03:28,426
The one who just
graduated from Northwestern.
97
00:03:28,428 --> 00:03:29,361
No!
98
00:03:29,363 --> 00:03:30,562
No one you or your friends
99
00:03:30,564 --> 00:03:32,764
will ever set me up
with will ever work out.
100
00:03:32,766 --> 00:03:34,467
What kind of attitude is that?
101
00:03:34,469 --> 00:03:35,367
I'm sorry.
102
00:03:35,369 --> 00:03:36,701
It's just a fact of life.
103
00:03:36,703 --> 00:03:39,472
Nowadays a mother's match
a match made in hell.
104
00:03:39,474 --> 00:03:42,775
It works for the Indians,
Muslims, the orthodox Jews.
105
00:03:42,777 --> 00:03:43,909
Fine.
106
00:03:43,911 --> 00:03:48,213
Find me a Muslim,
Indian Jew and I am in.
107
00:03:48,215 --> 00:03:50,849
In the meantime, Mom,
let me find my own dates.
108
00:03:50,851 --> 00:03:52,485
Hey, babe, do
you need any money?
109
00:03:52,487 --> 00:03:53,753
Dad, I'm a nurse.
110
00:03:53,755 --> 00:03:54,586
I work.
111
00:03:54,588 --> 00:03:55,454
Okay, it's habit.
112
00:03:55,456 --> 00:03:56,489
Go. Go have a good time.
113
00:03:56,491 --> 00:03:57,355
Thank you.
114
00:03:57,357 --> 00:03:58,257
What's his name again?
115
00:03:58,259 --> 00:03:59,324
Tom.
116
00:03:59,326 --> 00:03:59,959
Tom.
117
00:03:59,961 --> 00:04:00,926
Six foot, brown hair,
118
00:04:00,928 --> 00:04:02,762
with a college degree from UCLA.
119
00:04:02,764 --> 00:04:03,930
Good.
120
00:04:03,932 --> 00:04:06,632
I want to be able to
give the cops a good ID.
121
00:04:06,634 --> 00:04:07,832
You are not funny.
122
00:04:07,834 --> 00:04:09,450
I am funny.
123
00:04:11,372 --> 00:04:12,805
Call us for any problems
124
00:04:12,807 --> 00:04:15,473
and Joe the handyman
for all emergencies.
125
00:04:15,475 --> 00:04:16,442
I can handle it.
126
00:04:16,444 --> 00:04:17,677
Go. Have a good time.
127
00:04:17,679 --> 00:04:18,744
Do you have the tickets.
128
00:04:18,746 --> 00:04:19,612
I have the tickets.
129
00:04:19,614 --> 00:04:20,545
Let me see them.
130
00:04:20,547 --> 00:04:21,680
I have the tickets.
131
00:04:21,682 --> 00:04:22,982
Are they in your
bag or your pocket?
132
00:04:22,984 --> 00:04:25,250
Mom, he has the tickets.
133
00:04:25,252 --> 00:04:26,918
Now you have the tickets.
134
00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:28,420
Go. Have a good time.
135
00:04:28,422 --> 00:04:29,570
Get out of here.
136
00:04:32,660 --> 00:04:35,009
Bye guys.
137
00:04:37,398 --> 00:04:42,582
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
138
00:05:05,593 --> 00:05:08,709
(PHONE VIBRATES)
139
00:05:26,848 --> 00:05:29,063
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
140
00:05:31,018 --> 00:05:31,817
What?
141
00:05:31,819 --> 00:05:34,935
(APPLAUD)
142
00:05:37,025 --> 00:05:39,492
Oh, one second.
143
00:05:39,494 --> 00:05:40,326
Hey.
144
00:05:40,328 --> 00:05:41,627
Hey, how's it going?
145
00:05:41,629 --> 00:05:42,827
You're really good.
146
00:05:42,829 --> 00:05:43,795
Thank you.
147
00:05:43,797 --> 00:05:45,078
I'm Carly.
148
00:05:46,033 --> 00:05:47,580
Steve.
149
00:05:49,037 --> 00:05:50,002
Nice to meet you.
150
00:05:50,004 --> 00:05:51,370
Pleasure.
151
00:05:51,372 --> 00:05:56,524
(SENSUAL MUSIC)
152
00:05:59,780 --> 00:06:00,913
Be careful.
153
00:06:00,915 --> 00:06:02,195
I don't want to
break the statue.
154
00:06:07,788 --> 00:06:08,721
Oh!
155
00:06:08,723 --> 00:06:10,322
Sorry.
156
00:06:10,324 --> 00:06:14,994
Are you okay (CHUCKLES)?
157
00:06:14,996 --> 00:06:16,829
Think I have a concussion?
158
00:06:16,831 --> 00:06:18,831
You have a little bump.
159
00:06:18,833 --> 00:06:20,031
You want something to drink?
160
00:06:20,033 --> 00:06:21,033
Wine?
161
00:06:21,035 --> 00:06:22,535
Wine puts me to sleep.
162
00:06:22,537 --> 00:06:24,502
And I don't know if I'm
going to be up late.
163
00:06:24,504 --> 00:06:26,771
Am I going to be up late?
164
00:06:26,773 --> 00:06:28,589
I'll make coffee.
165
00:06:30,644 --> 00:06:31,744
So is this your place?
166
00:06:31,746 --> 00:06:32,711
My parents'.
167
00:06:32,713 --> 00:06:33,879
Are they out for the night?
168
00:06:33,881 --> 00:06:35,915
They're away for
a couple of days.
169
00:06:35,917 --> 00:06:36,915
Vegas.
170
00:06:36,917 --> 00:06:38,231
They like Vegas.
171
00:06:40,487 --> 00:06:41,920
Do you wanna smoke?
172
00:06:41,922 --> 00:06:43,471
Sure.
173
00:06:49,097 --> 00:06:50,096
Your parents don't
mind that you keep
174
00:06:50,098 --> 00:06:51,430
your weed out in the open?
175
00:06:51,432 --> 00:06:53,399
It's their weed.
176
00:06:53,401 --> 00:06:55,649
They really like these mini J's.
177
00:07:08,583 --> 00:07:10,382
I should warn you in advance.
178
00:07:10,384 --> 00:07:12,584
I get very existential
when I smoke.
179
00:07:12,586 --> 00:07:13,952
Like how?
180
00:07:13,954 --> 00:07:15,855
Like I realize the
true meaning of life
181
00:07:15,857 --> 00:07:17,889
but I can never
remember what it was.
182
00:07:17,891 --> 00:07:19,658
So, if I say anything
brilliant, write it down.
183
00:07:19,660 --> 00:07:22,427
(GIGGLES) So, tell me, Steve,
184
00:07:22,429 --> 00:07:24,544
what else don't
I know about you?
185
00:07:33,874 --> 00:07:36,190
Well, I know you can kiss.
186
00:07:37,644 --> 00:07:39,478
And you're a good dancer.
187
00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:43,415
But I don't know
much else about you.
188
00:07:43,417 --> 00:07:45,884
What exactly would
you like to know?
189
00:07:45,886 --> 00:07:48,487
How did you end
up in California?
190
00:07:48,489 --> 00:07:50,488
I got a full ride to
Stanford and I stayed.
191
00:07:50,490 --> 00:07:52,458
So, you're smart.
192
00:07:52,460 --> 00:07:56,277
I'm not Einstein
but smart enough.
193
00:07:57,098 --> 00:07:59,064
I mean smart enough to work
at an internet start-up
194
00:07:59,066 --> 00:08:01,065
but not smart enough yet to
make my own ideas happen.
195
00:08:01,067 --> 00:08:02,067
But they'll happen.
196
00:08:02,069 --> 00:08:03,435
What kind of ideas?
197
00:08:03,437 --> 00:08:05,637
Apps and stuff.
198
00:08:05,639 --> 00:08:07,654
Yeah, apps and stuff.
199
00:08:09,643 --> 00:08:11,543
Are you sure we
haven't met before.
200
00:08:11,545 --> 00:08:13,594
At a party or some event?
201
00:08:16,050 --> 00:08:17,598
I don't think so.
202
00:08:19,052 --> 00:08:21,187
And anyway, I remember feet.
203
00:08:21,189 --> 00:08:23,055
They're the sexiest
part of a woman's body.
204
00:08:23,057 --> 00:08:26,339
Well, in the top four anyway.
205
00:08:27,528 --> 00:08:29,060
You dress them up in sexy shoes.
206
00:08:29,062 --> 00:08:32,598
They're the beginning of
where a man wants to end.
207
00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:33,598
And they're the
first part of a woman
208
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,182
that she'll give up freely.
209
00:08:36,704 --> 00:08:38,804
Sounds like a fetish to me.
210
00:08:38,806 --> 00:08:40,120
There are worse ones.
211
00:08:41,042 --> 00:08:42,941
So, how about you?
Do you like nursing?
212
00:08:42,943 --> 00:08:45,210
Oh, I love nursing.
213
00:08:45,212 --> 00:08:47,680
Lot of blood and stuff?
214
00:08:47,682 --> 00:08:50,148
Well, you get to help people.
215
00:08:50,150 --> 00:08:51,650
You give shots?
216
00:08:51,652 --> 00:08:52,917
Yeah.
217
00:08:52,919 --> 00:08:53,819
Needles.
218
00:08:53,821 --> 00:08:54,954
I hate needles.
219
00:08:54,956 --> 00:08:58,089
(GIGGLES) Well,
what do you love?
220
00:08:58,091 --> 00:09:00,092
I don't know about love.
221
00:09:00,094 --> 00:09:01,126
Oh, come on.
222
00:09:01,128 --> 00:09:02,161
You must love something.
223
00:09:02,163 --> 00:09:03,695
The word's over-hyped.
224
00:09:03,697 --> 00:09:04,896
Okay, fine.
225
00:09:04,898 --> 00:09:06,098
Skip love.
226
00:09:06,100 --> 00:09:08,066
What do you like?
227
00:09:08,068 --> 00:09:13,037
Like, love, work, fuck.
228
00:09:13,039 --> 00:09:14,739
They're all dirty
four letter words.
229
00:09:14,741 --> 00:09:18,276
I'm more of a
metaphysical kind of guy.
230
00:09:18,278 --> 00:09:20,112
Metaphysical?
231
00:09:20,114 --> 00:09:23,815
Well, maybe I meant physical.
232
00:09:23,817 --> 00:09:27,266
(GIGGLES) Come on,
what do you like?
233
00:09:28,055 --> 00:09:29,121
What do you like?
234
00:09:29,123 --> 00:09:34,859
I like mojitos and Frieda Kahlo.
235
00:09:34,861 --> 00:09:36,862
Single malt and Stan Lee.
236
00:09:36,864 --> 00:09:38,531
Chicago deep dish.
237
00:09:38,533 --> 00:09:39,598
Pineapple.
238
00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:40,866
Tennis.
239
00:09:40,868 --> 00:09:42,101
Angry Birds.
240
00:09:42,103 --> 00:09:43,002
There you go.
241
00:09:43,004 --> 00:09:44,569
You do have likes.
242
00:09:44,571 --> 00:09:46,305
Its not about what you
like or love in this life.
243
00:09:46,307 --> 00:09:49,875
It's about what you want
and how you're gonna get it.
244
00:09:49,877 --> 00:09:51,191
What do you want?
245
00:09:58,952 --> 00:10:00,718
You are fast.
246
00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:02,202
I can go slow when it counts.
247
00:10:04,024 --> 00:10:06,858
Do you have a Jimmy hat?
248
00:10:06,860 --> 00:10:08,260
A what?
249
00:10:08,262 --> 00:10:09,795
A condom. Protection.
250
00:10:09,797 --> 00:10:10,795
Whatever.
251
00:10:10,797 --> 00:10:12,131
A Jimmy hat?
252
00:10:12,133 --> 00:10:14,014
Shut up!
253
00:10:14,768 --> 00:10:15,667
It won't feel as good.
254
00:10:15,669 --> 00:10:17,902
And anyway, I trust you.
255
00:10:17,904 --> 00:10:20,738
Look, I'd like to fuck you.
256
00:10:20,740 --> 00:10:21,839
I wanna fuck you.
257
00:10:21,841 --> 00:10:22,974
But I'm not...
258
00:10:22,976 --> 00:10:24,276
I'm pulling out
before I get there.
259
00:10:24,278 --> 00:10:25,810
What?
260
00:10:25,812 --> 00:10:28,112
Did you miss high school sex ed?
261
00:10:28,114 --> 00:10:30,049
You want me to
go out and get one?
262
00:10:30,051 --> 00:10:31,684
No I have one upstairs.
263
00:10:31,686 --> 00:10:33,067
Come on.
264
00:10:37,057 --> 00:10:39,992
I really hate to have
to be the pussy police.
265
00:10:39,994 --> 00:10:42,194
I don't feel good
about it either.
266
00:10:42,196 --> 00:10:45,245
And I certainly don't want
to get Mr. Jimmy in trouble.
267
00:10:45,932 --> 00:10:47,947
But I promise I'll
make it up to you.
268
00:10:55,209 --> 00:11:00,327
(RELAXING MUSIC)
269
00:11:04,951 --> 00:11:11,171
♪ Couldn't stop ♪
This feeling if I try
270
00:11:15,730 --> 00:11:22,048
♪ Driving on just
alone ♪ For the ride
271
00:11:26,106 --> 00:11:29,675
♪ And I can't wait to see
272
00:11:29,677 --> 00:11:33,126
♪ How this one ends
273
00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:41,300
♪ Will we be lovers or friends
274
00:11:42,757 --> 00:11:47,441
♪ If you could read my mind
275
00:11:48,195 --> 00:11:50,510
♪ You say what's
276
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:59,051
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
277
00:12:31,772 --> 00:12:33,305
What time is it?
278
00:12:33,307 --> 00:12:34,888
You have some place to go?
279
00:12:36,009 --> 00:12:37,256
No.
280
00:12:39,446 --> 00:12:41,361
Come on back to bed.
281
00:12:42,383 --> 00:12:43,915
How long have your beard?
282
00:12:43,917 --> 00:12:45,316
I don't know.
283
00:12:45,318 --> 00:12:46,785
Years.
284
00:12:46,787 --> 00:12:48,186
Not more than two.
285
00:12:48,188 --> 00:12:49,755
What makes you think that?
286
00:12:49,757 --> 00:12:52,056
Your driver's license fell
out of your pants' pocket.
287
00:12:52,058 --> 00:12:55,093
Your name is Milo
Daily, not Steve.
288
00:12:55,095 --> 00:12:56,829
Steve is my middle name.
289
00:12:56,831 --> 00:12:59,212
You didn't have that beard
when we met two years ago.
290
00:13:01,768 --> 00:13:03,234
We've met before?
291
00:13:03,236 --> 00:13:04,402
Yeah.
292
00:13:04,404 --> 00:13:06,438
I met the beardless
dude that's on your ID.
293
00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:07,872
And I don't think you
told me your name was
294
00:13:07,874 --> 00:13:10,141
Steve or Milo then.
295
00:13:10,143 --> 00:13:13,878
Okay, I gave you a phony name.
296
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:17,181
But that's all and
I'm sorry about that.
297
00:13:17,183 --> 00:13:19,785
But I've run into some
fucked up bitches before.
298
00:13:19,787 --> 00:13:21,753
Not you!
299
00:13:21,755 --> 00:13:23,155
But sometimes you
sleep with a girl once
300
00:13:23,157 --> 00:13:25,424
and she can get a little nutsy.
301
00:13:25,426 --> 00:13:29,127
But hey, I like you.
302
00:13:29,129 --> 00:13:31,644
Like, love, work, fuck.
303
00:13:33,134 --> 00:13:34,833
What else is a lie?
304
00:13:34,835 --> 00:13:35,467
You want me to go?
305
00:13:35,469 --> 00:13:37,017
What else?!
306
00:13:41,108 --> 00:13:42,107
I'm not from Indiana.
307
00:13:42,109 --> 00:13:43,407
I grew up in Sherman Oaks.
308
00:13:43,409 --> 00:13:44,943
Stanford.
309
00:13:44,945 --> 00:13:46,111
Cal State.
310
00:13:46,113 --> 00:13:47,112
Computer wiz?
311
00:13:47,114 --> 00:13:48,462
I'm a baker.
312
00:13:49,884 --> 00:13:51,883
Look, would I be
lying in your bed
313
00:13:51,885 --> 00:13:54,887
if you knew I was a baker
and wore a hair net all day,
314
00:13:54,889 --> 00:13:57,555
and didn't make six figures.
315
00:13:57,557 --> 00:13:58,489
Maybe.
316
00:13:58,491 --> 00:14:00,039
Bullshit.
317
00:14:00,528 --> 00:14:02,261
But, come on, does
that really matter?
318
00:14:02,263 --> 00:14:04,644
I mean, we had a good time
last night, didn't we?
319
00:14:06,267 --> 00:14:08,534
I am surprised you
don't remember me.
320
00:14:08,536 --> 00:14:10,968
But I guess to you,
all pussies look alike.
321
00:14:10,970 --> 00:14:12,137
What the hell are
you talking about?
322
00:14:12,139 --> 00:14:14,473
We fucked a couple
of times two years ago.
323
00:14:14,475 --> 00:14:15,574
I really don't
think that was me.
324
00:14:15,576 --> 00:14:17,041
Yeah, it was.
325
00:14:17,043 --> 00:14:19,411
My friend, Margie, introduced
us at a pool party.
326
00:14:19,413 --> 00:14:21,146
We hooked up in her bathroom.
327
00:14:21,148 --> 00:14:22,247
You asked me out
the next weekend
328
00:14:22,249 --> 00:14:23,949
and we went back to your place.
329
00:14:23,951 --> 00:14:25,383
I remember the dinner date.
330
00:14:25,385 --> 00:14:26,551
There was none.
331
00:14:26,553 --> 00:14:27,920
Take out at your place.
332
00:14:27,922 --> 00:14:29,555
Fucking was our
evening entertainment.
333
00:14:29,557 --> 00:14:31,256
And then you disappeared.
334
00:14:31,258 --> 00:14:33,257
Not so much as a text, a call,
335
00:14:33,259 --> 00:14:34,560
a "sorry, we didn't click".
336
00:14:34,562 --> 00:14:35,593
Nada!
337
00:14:35,595 --> 00:14:36,460
I swear.
338
00:14:36,462 --> 00:14:37,396
I don't remember.
339
00:14:37,398 --> 00:14:38,946
No?
340
00:14:39,566 --> 00:14:41,233
Maybe your hair was different?
341
00:14:41,235 --> 00:14:42,467
No.
342
00:14:42,469 --> 00:14:43,334
Did you lose weight?
343
00:14:43,336 --> 00:14:44,069
No!
344
00:14:44,071 --> 00:14:44,569
Gain weight?
345
00:14:44,571 --> 00:14:46,003
Fuck you!
346
00:14:46,005 --> 00:14:48,840
Hey! That was then, I
guess, and this is now.
347
00:14:48,842 --> 00:14:50,608
And I bet you
enjoyed then and now.
348
00:14:50,610 --> 00:14:52,477
I had no complaints then,
349
00:14:52,479 --> 00:14:54,246
until about a week
later when I started
350
00:14:54,248 --> 00:14:55,881
smelling like a wet dog.
351
00:14:55,883 --> 00:14:57,215
You gave me an STD.
352
00:14:57,217 --> 00:14:58,183
All right.
353
00:14:58,185 --> 00:14:58,983
It couldn't have been me, I...
354
00:14:58,985 --> 00:15:00,419
It was you!
355
00:15:00,421 --> 00:15:02,920
Do you know how much a pain in
the ass it is to get treated?
356
00:15:02,922 --> 00:15:04,223
Have you been treated?
357
00:15:04,225 --> 00:15:05,590
Or are you still out
there spreading the cheer?
358
00:15:05,592 --> 00:15:07,191
It wasn't me.
359
00:15:07,193 --> 00:15:08,359
Really, it wasn't.
360
00:15:08,361 --> 00:15:09,962
I really enjoyed last night.
361
00:15:09,964 --> 00:15:12,112
I thought we clicked.
362
00:15:13,267 --> 00:15:16,267
In fact I had plans
for a second date.
363
00:15:16,269 --> 00:15:17,335
Plans.
364
00:15:17,337 --> 00:15:18,651
What kind of plans?
365
00:15:20,007 --> 00:15:21,172
Perversions.
366
00:15:21,174 --> 00:15:23,275
No, look, I'm kidding.
367
00:15:23,277 --> 00:15:25,343
I'm not a bad guy.
368
00:15:25,345 --> 00:15:27,045
You're looking for a
serious relationship,
369
00:15:27,047 --> 00:15:30,082
I'm looking for a
serious relationship.
370
00:15:30,084 --> 00:15:33,517
And I'm sorry about the name.
371
00:15:33,519 --> 00:15:34,652
But come on, it's gonna take
372
00:15:34,654 --> 00:15:37,269
more than one night of cuddling.
373
00:15:38,926 --> 00:15:40,307
Come on.
374
00:15:46,033 --> 00:15:47,681
It wasn't me.
375
00:15:49,135 --> 00:15:50,316
Okay.
376
00:15:51,538 --> 00:15:53,305
We'll forget this ever happened.
377
00:15:53,307 --> 00:15:54,973
We'll start over.
378
00:15:54,975 --> 00:15:56,523
Perfect.
379
00:15:57,043 --> 00:15:59,693
Why don't you grab another
Jimmy hat from the drawer.
380
00:16:07,254 --> 00:16:08,053
Aw!
381
00:16:08,055 --> 00:16:09,436
What the fuck?
382
00:16:10,658 --> 00:16:11,555
What was the fuck was that?
383
00:16:11,557 --> 00:16:12,391
Antibiotics.
384
00:16:12,393 --> 00:16:13,659
You're fucking crazy.
385
00:16:13,661 --> 00:16:15,327
I'm going to put this
on my Facebook page
386
00:16:15,329 --> 00:16:17,496
with the heading
"scum of the earth".
387
00:16:17,498 --> 00:16:18,463
Really? You're fucked up.
388
00:16:18,465 --> 00:16:20,265
You know that.
389
00:16:20,267 --> 00:16:22,416
I am out of here.
390
00:16:24,538 --> 00:16:26,438
You're insane.
391
00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:28,006
Should I expect your call?
392
00:16:28,008 --> 00:16:29,574
Or maybe we can double date?
393
00:16:29,576 --> 00:16:31,725
Chlamydia, gonorrhea,
you and me.
394
00:16:32,579 --> 00:16:34,612
Just stay away from me, okay?
395
00:16:34,614 --> 00:16:36,714
And you wonder why guys don't
wanna be upfront with you.
396
00:16:36,716 --> 00:16:38,282
And I'm not driving you back.
397
00:16:38,284 --> 00:16:40,017
You can walk or
you can take a cab.
398
00:16:40,019 --> 00:16:40,651
I don't care.
399
00:16:40,653 --> 00:16:41,353
Fuck you!
400
00:16:41,355 --> 00:16:42,286
Fuck you!
401
00:16:42,288 --> 00:16:45,656
Very mature (COUGHS).
402
00:16:45,658 --> 00:16:47,159
I need something to drink.
403
00:16:47,161 --> 00:16:48,160
Just get out of here.
404
00:16:48,162 --> 00:16:49,227
Give me something to drink.
405
00:16:49,229 --> 00:16:50,543
Just go.
406
00:16:52,298 --> 00:16:53,712
I need some water.
407
00:16:57,337 --> 00:16:59,438
Regular or sparkling?
408
00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:00,754
Just water.
409
00:17:10,417 --> 00:17:12,050
Oh, shit!
410
00:17:12,052 --> 00:17:13,117
My tongue.
411
00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:14,519
My tongue is swelling up.
412
00:17:14,521 --> 00:17:15,553
Let me see.
413
00:17:15,555 --> 00:17:16,554
Are you allergic to anything?
414
00:17:16,556 --> 00:17:17,588
No!
415
00:17:17,590 --> 00:17:19,472
What the fuck did you give me?
416
00:17:22,262 --> 00:17:24,061
911.
417
00:17:24,063 --> 00:17:25,779
Call 911.
418
00:17:27,033 --> 00:17:28,481
Calm down.
419
00:17:30,637 --> 00:17:33,252
(GASPING)
420
00:17:55,763 --> 00:17:57,309
Shit!
421
00:18:25,758 --> 00:18:27,291
Shit!
422
00:18:27,293 --> 00:18:28,875
Shit! Shit!
423
00:18:35,735 --> 00:18:40,921
(PHONE RINGING)
424
00:18:45,545 --> 00:18:47,593
Fucker, don't die on me!
425
00:18:51,150 --> 00:18:52,517
VOICEOVER: This is
the Sagat residence,
426
00:18:52,519 --> 00:18:55,186
home of Bill, Laurie and,
on occasion, Carly Sagat.
427
00:18:55,188 --> 00:18:57,521
Please leave a
message at the beep.
428
00:18:57,523 --> 00:18:59,624
VOICEOVER: Carly,
this is your mother.
429
00:18:59,626 --> 00:19:01,492
Don't forget to walk Max.
430
00:19:01,494 --> 00:19:02,694
And put the dishes away.
431
00:19:02,696 --> 00:19:04,829
Don't let the house
turn into a pigsty.
432
00:19:04,831 --> 00:19:06,498
We're having a nice time.
433
00:19:06,500 --> 00:19:08,833
Your father took me
to a show last night.
434
00:19:08,835 --> 00:19:10,469
The Blue Man.
435
00:19:10,471 --> 00:19:12,436
I didn't get it but
it was very good.
436
00:19:12,438 --> 00:19:13,704
VOICEOVER: Hey,
give me the phone.
437
00:19:13,706 --> 00:19:16,841
Princess, don't bring men over.
438
00:19:16,843 --> 00:19:19,211
Have them take you out.
439
00:19:19,213 --> 00:19:21,312
All right, we'll
call again later.
440
00:19:21,314 --> 00:19:22,313
- Have a nice time.
- Dad.
441
00:19:22,315 --> 00:19:23,581
Dad, it's not my fault
442
00:19:23,583 --> 00:19:25,764
but something's happened and I,
443
00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:27,819
I can't talk right now.
444
00:19:27,821 --> 00:19:29,488
Yeah, I have a friend over.
445
00:19:29,490 --> 00:19:30,621
Just a friend.
446
00:19:30,623 --> 00:19:31,556
Yeah, I gotta go.
447
00:19:31,558 --> 00:19:32,691
Something just spilled.
448
00:19:32,693 --> 00:19:34,626
All right, I'll
talk to you later.
449
00:19:34,628 --> 00:19:35,560
(GASPING)
450
00:19:35,562 --> 00:19:37,194
It's okay.
451
00:19:37,196 --> 00:19:38,696
It's gonna be okay.
452
00:19:38,698 --> 00:19:40,331
You bitch.
453
00:19:40,333 --> 00:19:43,683
(HEARTBEAT)
454
00:19:45,539 --> 00:19:50,724
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
455
00:20:04,224 --> 00:20:06,491
♪ Just got one thing to say
456
00:20:06,493 --> 00:20:08,859
♪ Young girls love to play
457
00:20:08,861 --> 00:20:11,543
♪ They'll be the enemy
458
00:20:15,369 --> 00:20:18,451
♪ Don't you know what
you're looking for
459
00:20:25,579 --> 00:20:27,327
What the fuck?
460
00:20:33,486 --> 00:20:35,000
What the hell is going on?
461
00:20:37,390 --> 00:20:39,256
Let me out of this.
462
00:20:39,258 --> 00:20:40,372
I can't.
463
00:20:41,962 --> 00:20:44,010
Are you kidding me?!
464
00:20:46,533 --> 00:20:47,765
Help!
465
00:20:47,767 --> 00:20:49,267
Help! Anybody help!
466
00:20:49,269 --> 00:20:50,402
I'm upstairs.
467
00:20:50,404 --> 00:20:51,869
Look, you can yell all you want.
468
00:20:51,871 --> 00:20:53,504
But nobody's going to hear you.
469
00:20:53,506 --> 00:20:54,906
This house has great insulation
470
00:20:54,908 --> 00:20:56,273
and the windows
are double panned.
471
00:20:56,275 --> 00:20:58,310
So, if you want to
yell, be my guest.
472
00:20:58,312 --> 00:21:00,544
I'll just go downstairs
until you wear yourself out.
473
00:21:00,546 --> 00:21:02,246
Wait a minute. Wait a...
474
00:21:02,248 --> 00:21:03,748
This is all 'cause
I may have given you
475
00:21:03,750 --> 00:21:04,749
herpes or something?
476
00:21:04,751 --> 00:21:06,032
No!
477
00:21:09,488 --> 00:21:10,888
Yes.
478
00:21:10,890 --> 00:21:12,357
Yes, I was pissed.
479
00:21:12,359 --> 00:21:13,758
But I just gave
you an antibiotic
480
00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:14,992
to cure all your genital bugs.
481
00:21:14,994 --> 00:21:16,360
That is all.
482
00:21:16,362 --> 00:21:17,294
You tried to kill me!
483
00:21:17,296 --> 00:21:19,263
No, I didn't!
484
00:21:19,265 --> 00:21:20,764
You had an allergic reaction.
485
00:21:20,766 --> 00:21:22,833
How was I supposed to know that?
486
00:21:22,835 --> 00:21:23,902
You're lucky I'm a nurse.
487
00:21:23,904 --> 00:21:25,936
I saved your life.
488
00:21:25,938 --> 00:21:27,838
Oh, you deserve a medal.
489
00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:29,340
I'll call TIME.
490
00:21:29,342 --> 00:21:30,375
Have them put you on the cover.
491
00:21:30,377 --> 00:21:31,790
Now, let me go.
492
00:21:33,813 --> 00:21:35,646
I want you to know,
493
00:21:35,648 --> 00:21:37,781
I'm a really good person.
494
00:21:37,783 --> 00:21:39,317
I've never hurt
anybody in my life.
495
00:21:39,319 --> 00:21:41,586
If have made any mistakes,
496
00:21:41,588 --> 00:21:43,922
it's been my choice in men.
497
00:21:43,924 --> 00:21:45,991
But it's not so easy now.
498
00:21:45,993 --> 00:21:47,692
No, it is easy.
499
00:21:47,694 --> 00:21:49,793
Just cut me loose.
500
00:21:49,795 --> 00:21:51,363
We'll forget all about this.
501
00:21:51,365 --> 00:21:53,365
We pretend we've never met.
502
00:21:53,367 --> 00:21:55,934
I would love to pretend
that we have never met!
503
00:21:55,936 --> 00:21:57,769
Then I have to trust you.
504
00:21:57,771 --> 00:21:59,370
And knowing you, I don't.
505
00:21:59,372 --> 00:22:00,437
What the fuck do
you want from me?
506
00:22:00,439 --> 00:22:01,920
Where are you going with this?
507
00:22:02,876 --> 00:22:04,809
I gave you medication.
508
00:22:04,811 --> 00:22:07,012
I caused you an injury.
509
00:22:07,014 --> 00:22:08,579
That's malpractice.
510
00:22:08,581 --> 00:22:12,598
And now, I guess,
I've kidnapped you.
511
00:22:13,619 --> 00:22:14,918
But I don't want to
lose my nursing license.
512
00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:17,603
And I don't wanna go to jail.
513
00:22:18,891 --> 00:22:21,393
I know I fucked up.
514
00:22:21,395 --> 00:22:22,741
I know.
515
00:22:24,430 --> 00:22:26,779
I just need time to
think this all out.
516
00:22:29,302 --> 00:22:31,502
Figure this out. What
is there to figure?
517
00:22:31,504 --> 00:22:33,471
Oh, this is nonsense.
518
00:22:33,473 --> 00:22:35,040
I mean, I've have had some
fucked up dates before
519
00:22:35,042 --> 00:22:37,041
but this is really...
I'm the bad date?
520
00:22:37,043 --> 00:22:39,476
I'm the fucking bad date?!
521
00:22:39,478 --> 00:22:40,412
Hey.
522
00:22:40,414 --> 00:22:41,961
That's not what I meant.
523
00:22:43,516 --> 00:22:45,597
Well, okay maybe that's
what I meant but...
524
00:22:49,622 --> 00:22:51,036
I need to pee.
525
00:23:00,934 --> 00:23:02,533
Whoa! What are you doing?
526
00:23:02,535 --> 00:23:03,935
I'm gonna help you pee.
527
00:23:03,937 --> 00:23:06,503
I can't pee sitting down
with you holding my dick.
528
00:23:06,505 --> 00:23:07,906
Let me stand up and go.
529
00:23:07,908 --> 00:23:09,441
Well, just try.
530
00:23:09,443 --> 00:23:12,944
I can't think about peeing
with you holding my dick.
531
00:23:12,946 --> 00:23:14,812
I'm a nurse.
532
00:23:14,814 --> 00:23:17,863
Yeah, I know you're a nurse.
533
00:23:19,985 --> 00:23:21,800
In fact you look
pretty hot in scrubs.
534
00:23:22,723 --> 00:23:24,621
I'm just thinking we
forget about all this.
535
00:23:24,623 --> 00:23:27,591
You know, you take your
clothes off, I take mine
536
00:23:27,593 --> 00:23:29,493
and we start off
where we left off.
537
00:23:29,495 --> 00:23:32,912
Everything else is
forgotten and forgiven.
538
00:23:35,502 --> 00:23:37,083
Let me get this straight.
539
00:23:39,039 --> 00:23:40,620
You fucked me.
540
00:23:41,541 --> 00:23:43,021
I fucked you up.
541
00:23:43,810 --> 00:23:46,043
And now you want
to fuck me again.
542
00:23:46,045 --> 00:23:47,659
Sounds like a plan.
543
00:23:49,416 --> 00:23:50,682
Milo, Milo.
544
00:23:50,684 --> 00:23:52,030
Milo.
545
00:23:53,486 --> 00:23:55,635
What am I going to do with you?
546
00:23:58,925 --> 00:24:00,058
Aw!
547
00:24:00,060 --> 00:24:02,394
What do you call it?
548
00:24:02,396 --> 00:24:04,428
Mr. Johnson?
549
00:24:04,430 --> 00:24:05,963
Mr. Knish.
550
00:24:05,965 --> 00:24:08,133
Your baloney poney.
551
00:24:08,135 --> 00:24:09,400
Cum Gun?
552
00:24:09,402 --> 00:24:11,535
Your one-eyed trouser snake?
553
00:24:11,537 --> 00:24:15,072
You think it can magically
get you in and out of places.
554
00:24:15,074 --> 00:24:16,674
But it can't.
555
00:24:16,676 --> 00:24:18,009
It's not a gun.
556
00:24:18,011 --> 00:24:19,844
Bang! Bang!
557
00:24:19,846 --> 00:24:22,646
You can't wave it like a flag.
558
00:24:22,648 --> 00:24:24,616
It's not sharp enough
to cut you loose.
559
00:24:24,618 --> 00:24:27,834
And I bet, if I wanted,
560
00:24:28,955 --> 00:24:31,069
I could make it big.
561
00:24:32,825 --> 00:24:33,925
Yeah.
562
00:24:33,927 --> 00:24:35,926
But right now, Milo,
563
00:24:35,928 --> 00:24:37,943
I bet you can't get it up.
564
00:24:39,166 --> 00:24:43,182
All you can do with
this thing now is pee.
565
00:24:45,205 --> 00:24:47,038
Let me fuckin' out of this!
566
00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:48,173
What happened?
567
00:24:48,175 --> 00:24:50,155
A moment ago you
were romancing me.
568
00:24:52,879 --> 00:24:54,626
I really need to pee.
569
00:25:01,655 --> 00:25:02,936
All right.
570
00:25:03,689 --> 00:25:04,822
I'm going to cut you loose.
571
00:25:04,824 --> 00:25:05,790
And you can walk to the toilet.
572
00:25:05,792 --> 00:25:08,274
But that's it, got it?
573
00:25:16,136 --> 00:25:20,987
(ROCK MUSIC)
574
00:25:32,017 --> 00:25:33,150
You think you're god now
575
00:25:33,152 --> 00:25:35,334
but I'm going to
fucking kill you.
576
00:25:37,157 --> 00:25:39,123
I am god.
577
00:25:39,125 --> 00:25:41,007
The pussy god.
578
00:25:42,027 --> 00:25:46,878
(EERIE MUSIC)
579
00:26:41,888 --> 00:26:44,021
Help!
580
00:26:44,023 --> 00:26:46,223
Help!
581
00:26:46,225 --> 00:26:48,693
Somebody help!
582
00:26:48,695 --> 00:26:50,627
Carly!
583
00:26:50,629 --> 00:26:52,110
Carly!
584
00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:55,248
Help!
585
00:27:10,082 --> 00:27:11,431
Carly.
586
00:27:17,690 --> 00:27:19,137
Carly.
587
00:27:22,125 --> 00:27:27,125
Translation and subtitles by
PEPPER & LALASPAIN
*** SONG LIVES FOR EVER ***
588
00:27:32,938 --> 00:27:34,386
Carly!
589
00:27:36,208 --> 00:27:37,322
Carly!
590
00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:45,916
♪ Somewhere Carly!
591
00:27:45,918 --> 00:27:50,053
♪ You may sit and watch me
592
00:27:50,055 --> 00:27:55,140
♪ What must you be
thinking right now
593
00:27:56,029 --> 00:28:02,414
♪ It's so unfair Oh.
594
00:28:08,908 --> 00:28:09,840
Max?!
595
00:28:09,842 --> 00:28:10,642
What are you doing?
596
00:28:10,644 --> 00:28:12,024
Come here.
597
00:28:14,781 --> 00:28:16,981
Didn't you her me?
598
00:28:16,983 --> 00:28:17,982
What's the matter?
599
00:28:17,984 --> 00:28:20,251
I fucking shit myself.
600
00:28:20,253 --> 00:28:22,119
Oh, my god!
601
00:28:22,121 --> 00:28:23,053
Max!
602
00:28:23,055 --> 00:28:24,355
You can't, you can't do that.
603
00:28:24,357 --> 00:28:25,822
You can't leave me like this.
604
00:28:25,824 --> 00:28:27,858
I mean, what do you want?
605
00:28:27,860 --> 00:28:30,060
I'll give you anything you want.
606
00:28:30,062 --> 00:28:31,543
I don't know what I want.
607
00:28:32,831 --> 00:28:33,764
I'm gonna clean you up.
608
00:28:33,766 --> 00:28:35,233
But look, I left your hand free
609
00:28:35,235 --> 00:28:38,669
so you could eat, drink,
scratch and change the channels.
610
00:28:38,671 --> 00:28:39,936
But if you fucking try anything,
611
00:28:39,938 --> 00:28:41,271
I'm gonna let you sit
in your shit for a week.
612
00:28:41,273 --> 00:28:42,922
Do you understand me?
613
00:28:46,146 --> 00:28:47,145
Don't be embarrassed.
614
00:28:47,147 --> 00:28:48,079
It's not your fault.
615
00:28:48,081 --> 00:28:49,246
I should have thought of this.
616
00:28:49,248 --> 00:28:50,947
I'll get you a bedpan
for the next time
617
00:28:50,949 --> 00:28:55,153
so in case you have to,
this won't be such an issue.
618
00:28:55,155 --> 00:28:57,454
Well, at least
take this thing out.
619
00:28:57,456 --> 00:28:58,856
I'm not running
up to hold your dick
620
00:28:58,858 --> 00:28:59,857
every time you need to pee.
621
00:28:59,859 --> 00:29:02,208
So for now, it'll have to stay.
622
00:29:06,232 --> 00:29:08,866
(FARTING)
623
00:29:08,868 --> 00:29:13,952
(LAUGHTER)
624
00:29:16,376 --> 00:29:18,825
Oh, oh.
625
00:29:22,815 --> 00:29:24,963
Do you want anything
in particular for dinner?
626
00:29:26,418 --> 00:29:27,952
Are you serious?
627
00:29:27,954 --> 00:29:30,320
I can order a pizza or
I can make you beef stew.
628
00:29:30,322 --> 00:29:31,455
I'm a really good cook.
629
00:29:31,457 --> 00:29:32,423
What would you like?
630
00:29:32,425 --> 00:29:34,024
I'd like to make a phone call.
631
00:29:34,026 --> 00:29:35,460
That's not going to happen.
632
00:29:35,462 --> 00:29:37,261
You can't keep me here forever.
633
00:29:37,263 --> 00:29:40,880
The sooner you let me go, the
better this will be for you.
634
00:29:41,900 --> 00:29:42,833
Never mind.
635
00:29:42,835 --> 00:29:44,435
I'm too tired to cook.
636
00:29:44,437 --> 00:29:47,070
I'll order pizza.
637
00:29:47,072 --> 00:29:48,587
Pineapple right?
638
00:29:49,943 --> 00:29:50,875
Pepperoni.
639
00:29:50,877 --> 00:29:52,210
I thought you liked pineapple.
640
00:29:52,212 --> 00:29:53,277
I lied.
641
00:29:53,279 --> 00:29:54,846
Why did you lie about pizza?
642
00:29:54,848 --> 00:29:58,750
Girls like guys
who like veggies.
643
00:29:58,752 --> 00:30:00,384
Oh, really?
644
00:30:00,386 --> 00:30:02,453
Where the hell do come
up with these things?
645
00:30:02,455 --> 00:30:04,021
(DOG BARKING)
646
00:30:04,023 --> 00:30:05,956
VOICEOVER: Carly.
647
00:30:05,958 --> 00:30:07,958
Help!
648
00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:09,226
Help!
649
00:30:09,228 --> 00:30:10,060
Help!
650
00:30:10,062 --> 00:30:10,895
Don't do that.
651
00:30:10,897 --> 00:30:11,529
Please don't do that.
652
00:30:11,531 --> 00:30:13,263
Help!
653
00:30:13,265 --> 00:30:14,499
Help! What are you doing?
654
00:30:14,501 --> 00:30:15,832
- Help.
- Count to a hundred.
655
00:30:15,834 --> 00:30:17,001
Help.
656
00:30:17,003 --> 00:30:18,069
Help.
657
00:30:18,071 --> 00:30:19,885
Sleep tight.
658
00:30:22,074 --> 00:30:26,424
Thick crust, extra cheese.
659
00:30:28,848 --> 00:30:31,182
Is this some weird sex thing?
660
00:30:31,184 --> 00:30:33,984
Mom, Mom, it'll be okay.
661
00:30:33,986 --> 00:30:34,519
What?
662
00:30:34,521 --> 00:30:35,520
What'll be okay?
663
00:30:35,522 --> 00:30:37,855
You left this place a pigsty.
664
00:30:37,857 --> 00:30:39,823
How many times have I
told you to use a plate.
665
00:30:39,825 --> 00:30:41,439
Okay, okay.
666
00:30:45,197 --> 00:30:46,864
She has a man in her room.
667
00:30:46,866 --> 00:30:47,831
A what?
668
00:30:47,833 --> 00:30:49,267
She has a man in her room!
669
00:30:49,269 --> 00:30:50,568
We talked about this.
670
00:30:50,570 --> 00:30:53,137
Carly, it seems to bother
your mother a little
671
00:30:53,139 --> 00:30:54,571
more than it does me but we know
672
00:30:54,573 --> 00:30:56,072
you're a grown woman and we know
673
00:30:56,074 --> 00:30:57,474
you have relationships with men.
674
00:30:57,476 --> 00:31:00,877
No. She has a man in
a cast in her room.
675
00:31:00,879 --> 00:31:02,213
Well the fact she's
sleeping with somebody
676
00:31:02,215 --> 00:31:04,581
that has a broken something
or other doesn't matter.
677
00:31:04,583 --> 00:31:06,884
What matters... Are you deaf?
678
00:31:06,886 --> 00:31:09,153
She's keeping a man a
prisoner in her room.
679
00:31:09,155 --> 00:31:10,053
What are you talking about?
680
00:31:10,055 --> 00:31:11,021
What is she talking about?
681
00:31:11,023 --> 00:31:12,156
Dad, just come with me.
682
00:31:12,158 --> 00:31:13,539
I'll explain.
683
00:31:14,327 --> 00:31:16,894
I once dated a girl
who had terrible asthma.
684
00:31:16,896 --> 00:31:18,596
She was on oxygen all the time.
685
00:31:18,598 --> 00:31:20,397
When we had sex, I thought
sometimes she was dying,
686
00:31:20,399 --> 00:31:21,965
from all the wheezing.
687
00:31:21,967 --> 00:31:23,333
I mean, this boy, he just
has a broken leg, right?
688
00:31:23,335 --> 00:31:24,969
He's not a cripple or anything.
689
00:31:24,971 --> 00:31:27,271
Not that there's
anything wrong with that.
690
00:31:27,273 --> 00:31:32,058
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
691
00:31:43,055 --> 00:31:45,121
What were you thinking?
692
00:31:45,123 --> 00:31:46,156
It just happened.
693
00:31:46,158 --> 00:31:47,058
It just happened.
694
00:31:47,060 --> 00:31:48,091
There was no thinking.
695
00:31:48,093 --> 00:31:49,460
Obviously not.
696
00:31:49,462 --> 00:31:50,461
I'm sorry, dad.
697
00:31:50,463 --> 00:31:52,062
I really am.
698
00:31:52,064 --> 00:31:54,065
How long is he going to
be unconscious like that?
699
00:31:54,067 --> 00:31:55,198
I don't know.
700
00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:56,634
Probably another hour or so
701
00:31:56,636 --> 00:31:59,102
and then he'll wake up
and start yelling again.
702
00:31:59,104 --> 00:32:01,371
We can't keep him
drugged up all the time.
703
00:32:01,373 --> 00:32:02,473
No.
704
00:32:02,475 --> 00:32:04,341
What are we gonna do, Bill?
705
00:32:04,343 --> 00:32:07,525
Well, we're not going to
take it out on the cheese.
706
00:32:08,214 --> 00:32:09,462
Here.
707
00:32:11,618 --> 00:32:13,885
Here, take your medicine.
708
00:32:13,887 --> 00:32:14,886
I don't think there's
a pill for this.
709
00:32:14,888 --> 00:32:16,501
Take your medicine!
710
00:32:17,490 --> 00:32:18,289
He's okay.
711
00:32:18,291 --> 00:32:20,156
He's not hurt.
712
00:32:20,158 --> 00:32:22,359
He's not badly hurt.
713
00:32:22,361 --> 00:32:24,095
I just don't know
what to do with him.
714
00:32:24,097 --> 00:32:25,128
He's not a pet.
715
00:32:25,130 --> 00:32:26,664
You have to let the man go.
716
00:32:26,666 --> 00:32:28,065
I know.
717
00:32:28,067 --> 00:32:30,935
But, but I don't want
my life to be over.
718
00:32:30,937 --> 00:32:32,502
If he goes to the police,
I could go to jail.
719
00:32:32,504 --> 00:32:34,105
I don't wanna be a criminal.
720
00:32:34,107 --> 00:32:36,440
And this is a man you slept
with after the first date?
721
00:32:36,442 --> 00:32:39,476
You are concerned
with her dating life?
722
00:32:39,478 --> 00:32:41,212
Get a handle on
what this is, Bill.
723
00:32:41,214 --> 00:32:42,379
This is the end of our lives.
724
00:32:42,381 --> 00:32:44,482
This is the end of
our fucking lives.
725
00:32:44,484 --> 00:32:46,250
Don't get hysterical
on me, baby.
726
00:32:46,252 --> 00:32:47,184
I'm not hysterical.
727
00:32:47,186 --> 00:32:48,252
I'm not hysterical.
728
00:32:48,254 --> 00:32:49,220
Who's hysterical?
729
00:32:49,222 --> 00:32:51,170
I'm not freaking hysterical.
730
00:32:53,059 --> 00:32:54,090
Laurie!
731
00:32:54,092 --> 00:32:55,425
Where are you going?
732
00:32:55,427 --> 00:32:57,694
I'm going to jump in
the pool and drown myself.
733
00:32:57,696 --> 00:33:00,097
You're not gonna jump in
the pool and drown yourself.
734
00:33:00,099 --> 00:33:00,697
Why not?
735
00:33:00,699 --> 00:33:02,566
Why the hell not?!
736
00:33:02,568 --> 00:33:03,701
Because if you
jump into the pool
737
00:33:03,703 --> 00:33:04,668
you're not going to drown.
738
00:33:04,670 --> 00:33:06,102
You're going to freeze to death
739
00:33:06,104 --> 00:33:07,437
and I'm going to freeze
coming in after you.
740
00:33:07,439 --> 00:33:08,673
Come on back inside.
741
00:33:08,675 --> 00:33:10,942
Mom, it's gonna be okay.
742
00:33:10,944 --> 00:33:12,542
Oh, really. You think so?
743
00:33:12,544 --> 00:33:14,211
Look, It should not be a crime
744
00:33:14,213 --> 00:33:17,415
to treat someone who's
just giving STD's
745
00:33:17,417 --> 00:33:20,216
willy nilly to all women
all through the universe.
746
00:33:20,218 --> 00:33:22,118
No.
747
00:33:22,120 --> 00:33:24,155
He is not nice person.
748
00:33:24,157 --> 00:33:25,056
You're right.
749
00:33:25,058 --> 00:33:26,691
Come on, let's go inside.
750
00:33:26,693 --> 00:33:28,425
And the fact that
"he's not a nice person"
751
00:33:28,427 --> 00:33:29,993
is not a good enough
reason to have the guy
752
00:33:29,995 --> 00:33:31,995
all plastered up upstairs.
753
00:33:31,997 --> 00:33:33,030
Who's side are you on, Bill?
754
00:33:33,032 --> 00:33:34,231
I'm on Carly's side, of course.
755
00:33:34,233 --> 00:33:35,499
But this is not right.
756
00:33:35,501 --> 00:33:37,702
Dad, I know it's not right.
757
00:33:37,704 --> 00:33:40,370
But there must be a
way to make it right.
758
00:33:40,372 --> 00:33:42,406
I don't know.
759
00:33:42,408 --> 00:33:43,674
You're not involved.
760
00:33:43,676 --> 00:33:45,041
Of course we're involved.
761
00:33:45,043 --> 00:33:47,144
You're keeping a man
prisoner in our home.
762
00:33:47,146 --> 00:33:49,579
But if he never sees you,
he'll never know you're here.
763
00:33:49,581 --> 00:33:51,664
Oh, great logic.
764
00:33:54,486 --> 00:33:56,252
I want you to leave again.
765
00:33:56,254 --> 00:33:57,655
Go back to Vegas.
766
00:33:57,657 --> 00:33:59,357
It'll give me some time to
figure this out on my own.
767
00:33:59,359 --> 00:34:01,692
We're not leaving you
until we all figure you
768
00:34:01,694 --> 00:34:03,476
away out of this mess.
769
00:34:09,068 --> 00:34:11,602
I deal with scumbags
all the time.
770
00:34:11,604 --> 00:34:14,738
Lying buyers, sellers,
appraisers, bankers.
771
00:34:14,740 --> 00:34:17,774
Laurie, this is not a real
estate transaction gone wrong.
772
00:34:17,776 --> 00:34:18,709
Thank you.
773
00:34:18,711 --> 00:34:19,676
I know that.
774
00:34:19,678 --> 00:34:20,611
But it's business.
775
00:34:20,613 --> 00:34:22,479
In business you make deals.
776
00:34:22,481 --> 00:34:23,747
You compromise.
There are options.
777
00:34:23,749 --> 00:34:26,617
Let's just think,
think for options.
778
00:34:26,619 --> 00:34:29,486
If we let him go, he'll
most likely go to the police.
779
00:34:29,488 --> 00:34:30,454
I would.
780
00:34:30,456 --> 00:34:31,254
Bill.
781
00:34:31,256 --> 00:34:32,490
No, Dad's right.
782
00:34:32,492 --> 00:34:34,792
We have to think
logically, not emotionally.
783
00:34:34,794 --> 00:34:37,127
When he wakes up, we'll
try to reason with him.
784
00:34:37,129 --> 00:34:39,644
And if he decides to
go to the police, well,
785
00:34:42,068 --> 00:34:44,368
I'll just have to hire
a really good lawyer.
786
00:34:44,370 --> 00:34:46,504
That's your solution, a lawyer?
787
00:34:46,506 --> 00:34:49,106
Well, what options are
you thinking about, Laurie?
788
00:34:49,108 --> 00:34:49,774
The drowning option?
789
00:34:49,776 --> 00:34:51,207
The freezing option?
790
00:34:51,209 --> 00:34:53,158
Or the option to buy our house?
791
00:34:54,347 --> 00:34:56,562
You could accuse him first.
792
00:34:57,682 --> 00:35:02,752
Go to the police and accuse
him of rape or something.
793
00:35:02,754 --> 00:35:04,354
Rape, rape.
794
00:35:04,356 --> 00:35:05,555
That's a good idea!
795
00:35:05,557 --> 00:35:07,524
Finally you've come
up with a great idea.
796
00:35:07,526 --> 00:35:08,792
No, I can't.
797
00:35:08,794 --> 00:35:10,493
After all the "he says,
she says" dies down,
798
00:35:10,495 --> 00:35:11,762
you can recant.
799
00:35:11,764 --> 00:35:12,763
You've made mistakes.
800
00:35:12,765 --> 00:35:14,198
He's made mistakes.
801
00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:16,367
There's no moral high
ground here, right?
802
00:35:16,369 --> 00:35:17,501
I can't!
803
00:35:17,503 --> 00:35:18,635
Why not?
804
00:35:18,637 --> 00:35:21,671
Because after we slept together
805
00:35:21,673 --> 00:35:24,475
and before all of this happened,
806
00:35:24,477 --> 00:35:26,892
I may have texted a few friends.
807
00:35:27,680 --> 00:35:29,080
So?
808
00:35:29,082 --> 00:35:32,783
So, I may have told
them he was good in bed.
809
00:35:32,785 --> 00:35:34,151
Carly.
810
00:35:34,153 --> 00:35:36,153
At least I didn't
post any pictures.
811
00:35:36,155 --> 00:35:38,803
Thank God for that
little blessing.
812
00:35:40,559 --> 00:35:41,658
Okay.
813
00:35:41,660 --> 00:35:43,274
What else?
814
00:35:55,608 --> 00:35:58,175
We're not killing anybody.
815
00:35:58,177 --> 00:36:00,176
No.
816
00:36:00,178 --> 00:36:01,512
No. No.
817
00:36:01,514 --> 00:36:02,513
Okay.
818
00:36:02,515 --> 00:36:04,363
Oh God, I can't think.
819
00:36:05,718 --> 00:36:07,499
We don't want to
do anything rash.
820
00:36:10,722 --> 00:36:12,122
I'm going to bed.
821
00:36:12,124 --> 00:36:13,323
We'll think about this
more in the morning.
822
00:36:13,325 --> 00:36:15,626
Bill, how can you sleep?
823
00:36:15,628 --> 00:36:16,861
It's late.
824
00:36:16,863 --> 00:36:18,562
It was a long drive
back from Vegas.
825
00:36:18,564 --> 00:36:20,346
I'm exhausted.
826
00:36:21,466 --> 00:36:22,600
We'll get some rest.
827
00:36:22,602 --> 00:36:23,466
And we'll think more
clearly. Come on.
828
00:36:23,468 --> 00:36:24,702
Yeah, dad's right.
829
00:36:24,704 --> 00:36:26,169
At least we know
he's not gonna get up
830
00:36:26,171 --> 00:36:27,805
and walk out the front door?
831
00:36:27,807 --> 00:36:29,587
No, he can't.
832
00:36:32,445 --> 00:36:34,211
I'll be right back.
833
00:36:34,213 --> 00:36:35,745
Wait, where are you going?
834
00:36:35,747 --> 00:36:37,147
I haven't fed him yet.
835
00:36:37,149 --> 00:36:40,618
He'll wake up soon and
I promised him pizza.
836
00:36:40,620 --> 00:36:43,620
And if he starts yelling,
don't go in there.
837
00:36:43,622 --> 00:36:45,655
And if he does
yell, don't worry.
838
00:36:45,657 --> 00:36:46,890
He's okay.
839
00:36:46,892 --> 00:36:51,495
He's got food and water
and the remote control.
840
00:36:51,497 --> 00:36:53,312
All the comforts of home.
841
00:36:57,370 --> 00:37:02,521
(FOREBODING MUSIC)
842
00:37:13,785 --> 00:37:15,519
Hey, where are you going?
843
00:37:15,521 --> 00:37:16,954
I'm going in there and
try to reason with him.
844
00:37:16,956 --> 00:37:18,789
She told you not to go in there.
845
00:37:18,791 --> 00:37:20,323
What have you got
in your pocket?
846
00:37:20,325 --> 00:37:21,425
Nothing.
847
00:37:21,427 --> 00:37:22,874
What have you
got in your pocket?
848
00:37:24,829 --> 00:37:26,430
Don't go nutsy on me again.
849
00:37:26,432 --> 00:37:27,198
I don't care.
850
00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:27,932
I'll go to jail.
851
00:37:27,934 --> 00:37:29,499
I'll take the blame for this.
852
00:37:29,501 --> 00:37:30,934
But we are going to come up
with a sensible solution.
853
00:37:30,936 --> 00:37:31,935
You're more tired than I am.
854
00:37:31,937 --> 00:37:33,370
You're not making any sense.
855
00:37:33,372 --> 00:37:35,238
Come back to bed.
856
00:37:35,240 --> 00:37:36,207
Come on.
857
00:37:36,209 --> 00:37:37,540
Don't you see?
858
00:37:37,542 --> 00:37:38,876
This punk is going to
ruin our daughter's life.
859
00:37:38,878 --> 00:37:40,410
I'm her mother.
860
00:37:40,412 --> 00:37:41,477
I'm not going to just stand
by and watch that happen.
861
00:37:41,479 --> 00:37:42,946
Come back to bed.
862
00:37:42,948 --> 00:37:44,381
Take another pill.
863
00:37:44,383 --> 00:37:45,216
Another pill?
864
00:37:45,218 --> 00:37:45,816
Yeah.
865
00:37:45,818 --> 00:37:46,617
Okay.
866
00:37:46,619 --> 00:37:48,801
Okay, here we go.
867
00:37:49,956 --> 00:37:51,421
Get off me!
868
00:37:51,423 --> 00:37:53,289
This is a situation.
869
00:37:53,291 --> 00:37:55,926
No, no, no, no, no.
870
00:37:55,928 --> 00:37:57,609
No.
871
00:38:04,370 --> 00:38:06,704
You think he has parents?
872
00:38:06,706 --> 00:38:08,472
I'm sure of it.
873
00:38:08,474 --> 00:38:09,772
No, you know what I mean.
874
00:38:09,774 --> 00:38:13,810
Parents, living,
worried about him?
875
00:38:13,812 --> 00:38:15,879
I've got more to worry
about my own daughter.
876
00:38:15,881 --> 00:38:17,448
I don't need to be
worrying about his parents.
877
00:38:17,450 --> 00:38:18,281
Come on!
878
00:38:18,283 --> 00:38:19,765
Before he wakes up.
879
00:38:24,689 --> 00:38:26,637
We could bury
him in the backyard
880
00:38:28,461 --> 00:38:29,993
where you wanted to
build your barbecue.
881
00:38:29,995 --> 00:38:32,510
You are so taking
your medication.
882
00:38:33,932 --> 00:38:35,847
So, I can build my barbecue?
883
00:38:48,314 --> 00:38:50,529
You know, eventually you're
going to have to let me go.
884
00:38:51,651 --> 00:38:53,017
I mean, we're not going to spend
885
00:38:53,019 --> 00:38:55,401
the rest of our lives
together like this.
886
00:38:57,423 --> 00:38:58,354
What do you think?
887
00:38:58,356 --> 00:38:59,522
The more time we spend together,
888
00:38:59,524 --> 00:39:02,493
we're just gonna get comfortable
with each other and this,
889
00:39:02,495 --> 00:39:04,042
this situation.
890
00:39:05,030 --> 00:39:08,499
Pretty soon, I'm gonna go
from a cast to handcuffs;
891
00:39:08,501 --> 00:39:10,533
From pizza to your beef stew.
892
00:39:10,535 --> 00:39:12,403
And one day you'll lead
me downstairs on a leash
893
00:39:12,405 --> 00:39:13,952
to meet the folks.
894
00:39:15,675 --> 00:39:16,839
Maybe you think
I'm gonna succumb
895
00:39:16,841 --> 00:39:18,575
to some Stockholm
syndrome or something?
896
00:39:18,577 --> 00:39:20,810
'Cause it's not going to happen.
897
00:39:20,812 --> 00:39:22,046
You're fucked.
898
00:39:22,048 --> 00:39:23,747
And the longer I'm here
the more fucked you are.
899
00:39:23,749 --> 00:39:24,914
How do you know I'm
not going to cut you up
900
00:39:24,916 --> 00:39:27,165
into little pieces and
feed you to my dog?
901
00:39:28,887 --> 00:39:30,053
Have another slice of pizza.
902
00:39:30,055 --> 00:39:32,537
Max likes a lot of
meat on his bones.
903
00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:36,093
All right, you can
pretend some type of female
904
00:39:36,095 --> 00:39:38,696
Hannibal Lecter, but you're not.
905
00:39:38,698 --> 00:39:40,798
In the end, I go home
and you go to jail
906
00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:42,881
or the nut house maybe.
907
00:39:44,803 --> 00:39:47,338
People are gonna ask about me.
908
00:39:47,340 --> 00:39:48,738
Somebody's going
to notice my car
909
00:39:48,740 --> 00:39:49,972
sitting at the club all night.
910
00:39:49,974 --> 00:39:51,575
People are gonna start
asking questions.
911
00:39:51,577 --> 00:39:54,745
And, eventually, in a few hours,
912
00:39:54,747 --> 00:39:57,814
a few days maybe, the
cop's gonna be knocking
913
00:39:57,816 --> 00:39:59,816
on your front door.
914
00:39:59,818 --> 00:40:02,885
You have been watching
way too much television.
915
00:40:02,887 --> 00:40:05,988
I have a feeling
nobody cares about you.
916
00:40:05,990 --> 00:40:07,490
I mean, how long could
it take to replace
917
00:40:07,492 --> 00:40:08,992
a supermarket deli man?
918
00:40:08,994 --> 00:40:09,959
I'm not a deli man.
919
00:40:09,961 --> 00:40:10,894
I'm a baker.
920
00:40:10,896 --> 00:40:12,562
Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.
921
00:40:12,564 --> 00:40:14,712
Butcher, baker,
candlestick maker.
922
00:40:16,035 --> 00:40:17,434
You know, the more you talk,
923
00:40:17,436 --> 00:40:18,917
the uglier you get.
924
00:40:20,106 --> 00:40:21,752
So who's here?
925
00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:24,575
You know.
926
00:40:24,577 --> 00:40:25,510
Your parents.
927
00:40:25,512 --> 00:40:27,493
Your whole family can't
be as crazy as you.
928
00:40:28,847 --> 00:40:30,613
Maybe somebody here has
got have some sense.
929
00:40:30,615 --> 00:40:33,984
If you yell and wake
anybody up, I swear.
930
00:40:33,986 --> 00:40:35,551
Okay, I won't. I won't.
931
00:40:35,553 --> 00:40:36,868
Just don't tug on the catheter.
932
00:40:42,128 --> 00:40:44,243
I didn't say you had
to move your hand.
933
00:40:48,533 --> 00:40:53,785
So what did you
tell your friends?
934
00:40:54,673 --> 00:40:55,805
You know after that night.
935
00:40:55,807 --> 00:40:57,154
What do you mean?
936
00:40:58,144 --> 00:41:01,144
You know after you
came the first time,
937
00:41:01,146 --> 00:41:02,479
you went to the bathroom.
938
00:41:02,481 --> 00:41:04,548
And you tweeted or
texted somebody.
939
00:41:04,550 --> 00:41:06,198
You are so vain.
940
00:41:07,519 --> 00:41:08,733
What?
941
00:41:12,925 --> 00:41:15,024
Women talk.
942
00:41:15,026 --> 00:41:16,774
I know women talk.
943
00:41:17,695 --> 00:41:19,430
You guys love to talk.
944
00:41:19,432 --> 00:41:21,246
At the weirdest times too.
945
00:41:22,901 --> 00:41:24,167
You know the story
always went that guys
946
00:41:24,169 --> 00:41:26,736
talked about their conquests.
947
00:41:26,738 --> 00:41:28,439
I never did.
948
00:41:28,441 --> 00:41:30,606
I mean my friends
would get together
949
00:41:30,608 --> 00:41:31,908
and somebody would talk
about who they're dating
950
00:41:31,910 --> 00:41:33,743
or if they were fucking
somebody but nobody
951
00:41:33,745 --> 00:41:35,961
got very graphic
about their business.
952
00:41:37,450 --> 00:41:41,218
I bet the size and width of
my dick is online right now.
953
00:41:41,220 --> 00:41:42,519
Yeah.
954
00:41:42,521 --> 00:41:44,102
That's why it had to be a tweet.
955
00:41:46,524 --> 00:41:48,225
Did you turn the faucet on
when you went to the bathroom
956
00:41:48,227 --> 00:41:50,593
'cause you didn't want
me to hear you pee.
957
00:41:50,595 --> 00:41:53,530
You know, I know women
pee, for Christ sake.
958
00:41:53,532 --> 00:41:54,979
Shut up.
959
00:41:58,803 --> 00:42:00,069
What are you doing?
960
00:42:00,071 --> 00:42:02,071
I'm going to bed.
961
00:42:02,073 --> 00:42:03,673
You're going to sleep
here? In this bed.
962
00:42:03,675 --> 00:42:04,941
It's my room.
963
00:42:04,943 --> 00:42:05,975
My bed.
964
00:42:05,977 --> 00:42:07,693
Don't you usually sleep naked?
965
00:42:08,581 --> 00:42:09,213
Usually.
966
00:42:09,215 --> 00:42:11,814
But not with you here.
967
00:42:11,816 --> 00:42:13,598
How the fuck do you sleep?
968
00:42:15,521 --> 00:42:17,553
Usually I wear underwear
but that's so I can jack off
969
00:42:17,555 --> 00:42:18,589
at a moment's notice.
970
00:42:18,591 --> 00:42:19,222
Oh my God.
971
00:42:19,224 --> 00:42:20,858
You are so disgusting.
972
00:42:20,860 --> 00:42:25,829
Oh, little Miss Sunshine with
the vibrator in the drawer.
973
00:42:25,831 --> 00:42:27,897
Shut up.
974
00:42:27,899 --> 00:42:29,566
Now, I feel sorry for you.
975
00:42:29,568 --> 00:42:31,350
It's going to be a bitch
smuggling this thing into prison.
976
00:42:37,843 --> 00:42:39,224
Good night, Carly.
977
00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:50,153
Here.
978
00:42:50,155 --> 00:42:51,588
Take it.
979
00:42:51,590 --> 00:42:52,589
What do I do with this?
980
00:42:52,591 --> 00:42:53,990
You put it in the catheter,
981
00:42:53,992 --> 00:42:55,559
withdraw the fluid
in the balloon,
982
00:42:55,561 --> 00:42:57,760
and pull it out.
983
00:42:57,762 --> 00:42:59,062
Pull it out?
984
00:42:59,064 --> 00:42:59,997
Yeah.
985
00:42:59,999 --> 00:43:00,863
I put it in.
986
00:43:00,865 --> 00:43:02,380
You pull it out.
987
00:43:04,035 --> 00:43:05,801
What are we talking about here?
988
00:43:05,803 --> 00:43:08,185
Oh my God, the catheter.
989
00:43:25,057 --> 00:43:26,705
That's nice.
990
00:43:37,669 --> 00:43:39,051
Thank you.
991
00:43:41,707 --> 00:43:43,039
Did you sleep?
992
00:43:43,041 --> 00:43:44,707
Not very well.
993
00:43:44,709 --> 00:43:48,644
I was up all night
keeping an eye on you.
994
00:43:48,646 --> 00:43:49,680
I know. I'm sorry.
995
00:43:49,682 --> 00:43:50,981
I shouldn't drink at night.
996
00:43:50,983 --> 00:43:52,249
Oh, it was the wine, huh?
997
00:43:52,251 --> 00:43:53,799
Yeah.
998
00:43:58,990 --> 00:44:00,624
I hid the gun.
999
00:44:00,626 --> 00:44:02,191
Okay.
1000
00:44:02,193 --> 00:44:03,794
Where?
1001
00:44:03,796 --> 00:44:05,262
I wasn't going to do anything.
1002
00:44:05,264 --> 00:44:06,597
I just wanted to scare him.
1003
00:44:06,599 --> 00:44:08,097
You scare me.
1004
00:44:08,099 --> 00:44:09,800
My daughter scares me.
1005
00:44:09,802 --> 00:44:11,068
What are you going
to do about it, Bill?
1006
00:44:11,070 --> 00:44:12,336
I don't know.
1007
00:44:12,338 --> 00:44:13,736
It's all gone.
1008
00:44:13,738 --> 00:44:14,905
What?
1009
00:44:14,907 --> 00:44:16,673
All of our hopes
and dreams for Carly.
1010
00:44:16,675 --> 00:44:17,640
They're gone.
1011
00:44:17,642 --> 00:44:18,240
What are you talking about?
1012
00:44:18,242 --> 00:44:19,209
We'll work this out.
1013
00:44:19,211 --> 00:44:21,144
Carly's still a wonderful girl.
1014
00:44:21,146 --> 00:44:23,146
She worked hard to make
herself a successful career.
1015
00:44:23,148 --> 00:44:24,814
She has lots of friends.
1016
00:44:24,816 --> 00:44:25,749
She's attractive.
1017
00:44:25,751 --> 00:44:27,917
She has lots of dates.
1018
00:44:27,919 --> 00:44:29,819
She'll find someone she likes.
1019
00:44:29,821 --> 00:44:30,653
That.
1020
00:44:30,655 --> 00:44:31,388
All that what you said.
1021
00:44:31,390 --> 00:44:32,871
It's gone.
1022
00:44:34,093 --> 00:44:36,059
I should just shoot myself.
1023
00:44:36,061 --> 00:44:38,227
You're going down that
dead end road again.
1024
00:44:38,229 --> 00:44:39,396
I can't help it.
1025
00:44:39,398 --> 00:44:40,664
There's no solution.
1026
00:44:40,666 --> 00:44:42,832
There's a solution.
1027
00:44:42,834 --> 00:44:44,901
I just haven't
thought of it yet.
1028
00:44:44,903 --> 00:44:48,220
Are you going to be all
right with him here?
1029
00:44:49,974 --> 00:44:51,341
I'm fine.
1030
00:44:51,343 --> 00:44:53,977
Okay, I'm out of here.
1031
00:44:53,979 --> 00:44:56,161
Don't do anything nutsy.
1032
00:45:10,428 --> 00:45:13,144
(DOORBELL RINGING)
1033
00:45:16,100 --> 00:45:17,033
Who is it?
1034
00:45:17,035 --> 00:45:18,068
Oh, God. I forgot.
1035
00:45:18,070 --> 00:45:20,069
Monday morning is mahj.
1036
00:45:20,071 --> 00:45:20,803
Help!
1037
00:45:20,805 --> 00:45:22,405
Anybody! I'm... Shut up!
1038
00:45:22,407 --> 00:45:23,973
Who's coming?
1039
00:45:23,975 --> 00:45:26,191
Ruth and Mindy
and your Aunt Cindy.
1040
00:45:28,146 --> 00:45:29,211
I won't answer.
1041
00:45:29,213 --> 00:45:30,147
Upstairs.
1042
00:45:30,149 --> 00:45:31,113
But they know you're here.
1043
00:45:31,115 --> 00:45:32,249
Help, anybody!
1044
00:45:32,251 --> 00:45:33,883
Just give me a
minute and then answer.
1045
00:45:33,885 --> 00:45:34,417
Please.
1046
00:45:34,419 --> 00:45:35,251
Are you sure?
1047
00:45:35,253 --> 00:45:36,385
I can handle this.
1048
00:45:36,387 --> 00:45:38,335
Please, I'm upstairs.
1049
00:45:49,901 --> 00:45:51,968
Are we playing Maj
or going clubbing?
1050
00:45:51,970 --> 00:45:53,035
I grew up with her.
1051
00:45:53,037 --> 00:45:53,903
I was invisible.
1052
00:45:53,905 --> 00:45:55,171
She's a man magnet.
1053
00:45:55,173 --> 00:45:57,555
So, are we gonna play or what?
1054
00:46:04,249 --> 00:46:08,366
♪ I fell into electric blue
1055
00:46:10,756 --> 00:46:14,239
♪ I'm back to school
Can you hear me?
1056
00:46:15,928 --> 00:46:16,792
Hey!
1057
00:46:16,794 --> 00:46:18,109
Aw!
1058
00:46:24,736 --> 00:46:27,169
Hey!
1059
00:46:27,171 --> 00:46:28,385
Hey.
1060
00:46:49,827 --> 00:46:51,308
Sorry about that.
1061
00:46:52,898 --> 00:46:54,312
I won't do it again.
1062
00:46:58,870 --> 00:47:00,318
So, who's here?
1063
00:47:04,510 --> 00:47:06,042
Do you hear me?
1064
00:47:06,044 --> 00:47:10,280
Yes, I hear you.
1065
00:47:10,282 --> 00:47:11,897
Somebody's here.
1066
00:47:13,986 --> 00:47:16,887
You know I'm very sociable.
1067
00:47:16,889 --> 00:47:18,136
Come on.
1068
00:47:19,091 --> 00:47:20,122
Introduce me to your mother.
1069
00:47:20,124 --> 00:47:20,923
Mothers love me.
1070
00:47:20,925 --> 00:47:21,992
I'm a potential.
1071
00:47:21,994 --> 00:47:23,859
A potential what?
1072
00:47:23,861 --> 00:47:26,495
What do you think? A potential
seed for the grand kids.
1073
00:47:26,497 --> 00:47:28,145
Bad seed.
1074
00:47:29,033 --> 00:47:30,901
So whose helmets?
1075
00:47:30,903 --> 00:47:32,803
Who rides?
1076
00:47:32,805 --> 00:47:34,571
My dad.
1077
00:47:34,573 --> 00:47:36,339
I've got a Harley.
1078
00:47:36,341 --> 00:47:37,973
A fat boy.
1079
00:47:37,975 --> 00:47:38,809
Really?
1080
00:47:38,811 --> 00:47:40,843
It's all tricked out.
1081
00:47:40,845 --> 00:47:42,379
Lots of chrome, Custom paint.
1082
00:47:42,381 --> 00:47:44,262
It's a beauty.
1083
00:47:46,151 --> 00:47:47,184
No, I don't have a Harley.
1084
00:47:47,186 --> 00:47:49,285
I don't have a bike.
1085
00:47:49,287 --> 00:47:50,553
More lies.
1086
00:47:50,555 --> 00:47:53,171
But you liked that
image, didn't you.
1087
00:47:54,425 --> 00:47:58,028
Just for a moment,
you tell the truth.
1088
00:47:58,030 --> 00:48:01,131
You were imagining
yourself straddling my hog
1089
00:48:01,133 --> 00:48:03,300
cruising down the coast highway,
1090
00:48:03,302 --> 00:48:06,350
that exciting vibration
between your legs.
1091
00:48:10,309 --> 00:48:12,457
Why do you have to
be anything you're not?
1092
00:48:13,579 --> 00:48:15,359
Am I any different from you?
1093
00:48:16,314 --> 00:48:17,528
You pretend.
1094
00:48:19,218 --> 00:48:22,452
A make-up, those push up bras,
1095
00:48:22,454 --> 00:48:25,120
tight short dresses,
those come fuck me shoes.
1096
00:48:25,122 --> 00:48:26,189
What are you pretending to be?
1097
00:48:26,191 --> 00:48:28,191
It is not the same.
1098
00:48:28,193 --> 00:48:30,059
I'm not lying about myself.
1099
00:48:30,061 --> 00:48:33,330
I'm making myself,
myself look better.
1100
00:48:33,332 --> 00:48:35,064
You're making up a
whole different person.
1101
00:48:35,066 --> 00:48:37,066
It's my make-up.
1102
00:48:37,068 --> 00:48:39,383
When I'm comfortable with
somebody, I take it off.
1103
00:48:41,340 --> 00:48:43,874
What's the longest
relationship you've ever had?
1104
00:48:43,876 --> 00:48:47,010
I mean I know you're good
at one night stands but
1105
00:48:47,012 --> 00:48:49,194
have you ever
gotten past a week?
1106
00:48:50,414 --> 00:48:52,548
You sound like my shrink.
1107
00:48:52,550 --> 00:48:54,216
You see a shrink?
1108
00:48:54,218 --> 00:48:55,251
Really?
1109
00:48:55,253 --> 00:48:57,086
For 15 years.
1110
00:48:57,088 --> 00:48:58,488
Wait a minute.
1111
00:48:58,490 --> 00:49:00,923
That means you've been seeing
a shrink since high school?
1112
00:49:00,925 --> 00:49:02,626
A troubled soul.
1113
00:49:02,628 --> 00:49:05,495
If I didn't go to therapy
every day after school,
1114
00:49:05,497 --> 00:49:07,397
I would have had to play soccer
1115
00:49:07,399 --> 00:49:10,367
or basketball or baseball
and I hated all that shit.
1116
00:49:10,369 --> 00:49:13,002
My after-school program was
listening to my psychiatrist
1117
00:49:13,004 --> 00:49:16,453
convince me how my
parents fucked up my life.
1118
00:49:18,477 --> 00:49:20,010
"Do you think your
parents liked your brother"
1119
00:49:20,012 --> 00:49:21,678
"better than you?"
1120
00:49:21,680 --> 00:49:24,513
"Do you think you would have
rather been born a girl?"
1121
00:49:24,515 --> 00:49:28,184
"If your cock was a pen,
what color would the ink be?"
1122
00:49:28,186 --> 00:49:31,602
Maybe Dr. Gupta's brainwashing
is what fucked up my life.
1123
00:49:33,591 --> 00:49:36,258
You're making all
this up, aren't you?
1124
00:49:36,260 --> 00:49:37,294
Check my wallet.
1125
00:49:37,296 --> 00:49:39,411
Dr. Gupta from Encino.
1126
00:49:41,032 --> 00:49:42,813
I'm through playing
games with your Carly.
1127
00:49:45,970 --> 00:49:47,452
Look where it's gotten me.
1128
00:49:52,711 --> 00:49:54,577
Your parents know I'm
up here, don't they?
1129
00:49:54,579 --> 00:49:56,312
I've had men over before.
1130
00:49:56,314 --> 00:49:57,347
They treat me like an adult.
1131
00:49:57,349 --> 00:49:58,647
They don't ask, I don't tell.
1132
00:49:58,649 --> 00:50:01,017
So, your parents don't
know you have a man
1133
00:50:01,019 --> 00:50:03,319
set in plaster in your bed?
1134
00:50:03,321 --> 00:50:04,988
No.
1135
00:50:04,990 --> 00:50:06,689
Okay.
1136
00:50:06,691 --> 00:50:09,191
So what about you, huh?
1137
00:50:09,193 --> 00:50:12,242
Have you ever had a
serious relationship?
1138
00:50:14,131 --> 00:50:15,464
I mean, not a one night stand,
1139
00:50:15,466 --> 00:50:19,084
or a weekend relationship
for a couple of months,
1140
00:50:20,439 --> 00:50:22,138
or high-school puppy
love where you write
1141
00:50:22,140 --> 00:50:24,173
the guys name down
a thousand times
1142
00:50:24,175 --> 00:50:27,343
or mention him to your
friends as "the one,"
1143
00:50:27,345 --> 00:50:30,294
to make some make-believe
love seem real?
1144
00:50:35,988 --> 00:50:38,369
Or, do you cast all
your men in plaster?
1145
00:50:45,764 --> 00:50:48,779
Hey, don't worry about it.
1146
00:50:50,102 --> 00:50:51,449
Really.
1147
00:50:53,104 --> 00:50:55,319
I see you getting
married some day.
1148
00:50:56,341 --> 00:50:57,522
I do.
1149
00:51:07,486 --> 00:51:09,567
And then shooting your husband.
1150
00:51:13,492 --> 00:51:14,723
Fuck you.
1151
00:51:14,725 --> 00:51:15,725
Where you going?
1152
00:51:15,727 --> 00:51:17,342
See you later.
1153
00:51:18,497 --> 00:51:19,844
I'll be here.
1154
00:51:29,240 --> 00:51:30,140
Flower.
1155
00:51:30,142 --> 00:51:31,106
Wait a minute.
1156
00:51:31,108 --> 00:51:32,689
I'll take that.
1157
00:51:34,111 --> 00:51:37,428
Did you hear that Barbara's
gonna have another grandchild?
1158
00:51:38,550 --> 00:51:39,481
Nine dot.
1159
00:51:39,483 --> 00:51:40,483
Red.
1160
00:51:40,485 --> 00:51:42,251
I'm going broke buying gifts.
1161
00:51:42,253 --> 00:51:45,088
Graduation gifts, bridal
showers, wedding gifts.
1162
00:51:45,090 --> 00:51:46,655
Well, you've had your share.
1163
00:51:46,657 --> 00:51:47,790
I'm the barren one here.
1164
00:51:47,792 --> 00:51:48,792
Seven dot.
1165
00:51:48,794 --> 00:51:50,660
Is Carly dating anyone?
1166
00:51:50,662 --> 00:51:52,394
We're having some problems
with Carly right now.
1167
00:51:52,396 --> 00:51:53,463
What kind of problems?
1168
00:51:53,465 --> 00:51:55,164
I don't want to talk about it.
1169
00:51:55,166 --> 00:51:56,298
Four crack.
1170
00:51:56,300 --> 00:51:57,267
Men of course.
1171
00:51:57,269 --> 00:51:58,700
Cindy, what do you know?
1172
00:51:58,702 --> 00:52:00,537
What other kinds of
problems could she be having?
1173
00:52:00,539 --> 00:52:02,104
Well, you know
everything, don't you?
1174
00:52:02,106 --> 00:52:03,807
My daughter is not a
topic of discussion.
1175
00:52:03,809 --> 00:52:05,374
She is off the table.
1176
00:52:05,376 --> 00:52:06,276
Oh, come on.
1177
00:52:06,278 --> 00:52:07,676
Carly's a wonderful girl.
1178
00:52:07,678 --> 00:52:09,379
She'll find someone.
1179
00:52:09,381 --> 00:52:10,680
Joker.
1180
00:52:10,682 --> 00:52:12,515
She'll meet a nice
doctor, you'll see.
1181
00:52:12,517 --> 00:52:13,582
Oh my God!
1182
00:52:13,584 --> 00:52:15,251
I don't want to talk about this.
1183
00:52:15,253 --> 00:52:16,586
Flower.
1184
00:52:16,588 --> 00:52:18,388
Well we know she's had
her share of issues but...
1185
00:52:18,390 --> 00:52:19,421
Can't you not hear?
1186
00:52:19,423 --> 00:52:20,557
I don't want to discuss it.
1187
00:52:20,559 --> 00:52:23,292
It's no crime being
single nowadays.
1188
00:52:23,294 --> 00:52:24,593
Maybe it should be.
1189
00:52:24,595 --> 00:52:26,696
If you're not married
by thirty, go to jail.
1190
00:52:26,698 --> 00:52:28,164
That's crazy.
1191
00:52:28,166 --> 00:52:28,832
Who would go to jail?
1192
00:52:28,834 --> 00:52:30,100
The guys or the girls?
1193
00:52:30,102 --> 00:52:31,234
Both.
1194
00:52:31,236 --> 00:52:32,267
It would be a new game.
1195
00:52:32,269 --> 00:52:33,870
Incarceration Match dot com.
1196
00:52:33,872 --> 00:52:35,437
(LAUGHTER)
1197
00:52:35,439 --> 00:52:36,805
Is that what you want?
1198
00:52:36,807 --> 00:52:38,807
Is that what you want? You
want my Carly to go to jail?
1199
00:52:38,809 --> 00:52:40,691
Just joking, sis.
1200
00:52:42,280 --> 00:52:43,312
Six dot.
1201
00:52:43,314 --> 00:52:44,714
Oh! Mahj!
1202
00:52:44,716 --> 00:52:45,682
Look at this.
1203
00:52:45,684 --> 00:52:47,584
Oh, yes.
1204
00:52:47,586 --> 00:52:49,184
Every time.
1205
00:52:49,186 --> 00:52:53,804
(BUBBLY MUSIC)
1206
00:53:01,867 --> 00:53:04,267
Could you get me a washcloth?
1207
00:53:04,269 --> 00:53:06,417
I was sweating to hell in there.
1208
00:53:18,682 --> 00:53:20,350
Let go.
1209
00:53:20,352 --> 00:53:21,751
Let go!
1210
00:53:21,753 --> 00:53:24,220
We really need to talk.
1211
00:53:24,222 --> 00:53:26,455
Okay, this isn't going where
either of us wanted to go.
1212
00:53:26,457 --> 00:53:29,658
And there was some chemistry
the other night, wasn't there?
1213
00:53:29,660 --> 00:53:31,260
I mean, it wasn't just fucking.
1214
00:53:31,262 --> 00:53:33,277
No. I think it was just fucking.
1215
00:53:35,901 --> 00:53:37,667
What the fuck!
1216
00:53:37,669 --> 00:53:38,950
It was a kiss.
1217
00:53:39,738 --> 00:53:41,271
I'm not playing your game.
1218
00:53:41,273 --> 00:53:43,287
One more time and you'll
tell me this is a game.
1219
00:53:45,910 --> 00:53:47,176
I know you think I'm a phony.
1220
00:53:47,178 --> 00:53:47,809
And maybe I am.
1221
00:53:47,811 --> 00:53:49,293
But not completely.
1222
00:53:50,515 --> 00:53:51,580
I liked you.
1223
00:53:51,582 --> 00:53:52,930
I really did.
1224
00:53:55,419 --> 00:53:57,301
Carly, I think you're beautiful.
1225
00:53:57,956 --> 00:54:01,423
I just don't think
beautiful women will like me
1226
00:54:01,425 --> 00:54:03,373
unless I make things up.
1227
00:54:06,363 --> 00:54:09,198
And it wasn't me
that gave you an STD.
1228
00:54:09,200 --> 00:54:10,533
It wasn't.
1229
00:54:10,535 --> 00:54:12,401
You don't get those
things from toilet seats.
1230
00:54:12,403 --> 00:54:13,336
I know.
1231
00:54:13,338 --> 00:54:14,671
But maybe it was something else.
1232
00:54:14,673 --> 00:54:18,923
Or somebody else.
1233
00:54:23,448 --> 00:54:25,714
I'm dying in here.
1234
00:54:25,716 --> 00:54:26,983
You've got to cut this part off.
1235
00:54:26,985 --> 00:54:28,832
It itches like crazy.
1236
00:54:49,474 --> 00:54:50,305
Gotta pee.
1237
00:54:50,307 --> 00:54:51,555
Oh my God.
1238
00:54:54,713 --> 00:54:55,711
Is that it?
1239
00:54:55,713 --> 00:54:56,713
Yeah. A little deeper.
1240
00:54:56,715 --> 00:54:57,580
A little lower.
1241
00:54:57,582 --> 00:54:58,747
Yeah.
1242
00:54:58,749 --> 00:55:00,283
Ahh!
1243
00:55:00,285 --> 00:55:00,984
You're almost there.
1244
00:55:00,986 --> 00:55:01,783
Almost there.
1245
00:55:01,785 --> 00:55:02,718
Oh, fuck it.
1246
00:55:02,720 --> 00:55:04,135
Be careful. Be careful.
1247
00:55:05,590 --> 00:55:07,789
Oh, you're right there. Aw!
1248
00:55:07,791 --> 00:55:09,506
Hold your balls to the side.
1249
00:55:11,896 --> 00:55:12,729
Oh!
1250
00:55:12,731 --> 00:55:14,812
You're right there.
1251
00:55:19,271 --> 00:55:20,370
Yes.
1252
00:55:20,372 --> 00:55:21,303
- Yes!
- It's nothing.
1253
00:55:21,305 --> 00:55:22,305
Let's go to lunch.
1254
00:55:22,307 --> 00:55:23,606
Just like that.
1255
00:55:23,608 --> 00:55:24,374
- Wait.
- Oh.
1256
00:55:24,376 --> 00:55:26,575
No way. Wait.
1257
00:55:26,577 --> 00:55:29,979
Oh, you're right there.
1258
00:55:29,981 --> 00:55:31,995
You've done this
before, haven't you?
1259
00:55:33,350 --> 00:55:35,952
Ooh, yeah, that's it.
1260
00:55:35,954 --> 00:55:37,787
Ow, ow, ow.
1261
00:55:37,789 --> 00:55:39,421
I said put your
balls to the side.
1262
00:55:39,423 --> 00:55:40,789
Okay.
1263
00:55:40,791 --> 00:55:42,492
Oh, right there. Right
there. Right there.
1264
00:55:42,494 --> 00:55:43,626
You got it. You got it.
1265
00:55:43,628 --> 00:55:45,662
Oh.
1266
00:55:45,664 --> 00:55:47,796
Harder. Harder.
1267
00:55:47,798 --> 00:55:49,446
Oh that's perfect.
1268
00:55:50,501 --> 00:55:52,635
We never had that
kind of fun growing up.
1269
00:55:52,637 --> 00:55:53,635
It's nothing.
1270
00:55:53,637 --> 00:55:55,419
He has a great HMO.
1271
00:56:01,445 --> 00:56:04,647
Carly, what are you
doing with that boy?
1272
00:56:04,649 --> 00:56:05,814
What do you mean?
1273
00:56:05,816 --> 00:56:07,883
She means he's not a sex toy.
1274
00:56:07,885 --> 00:56:09,084
I didn't mean that.
1275
00:56:09,086 --> 00:56:11,486
I have no objections
to men as sex toys.
1276
00:56:11,488 --> 00:56:12,789
Cindy!
1277
00:56:12,791 --> 00:56:14,624
Aunt Cindy, I didn't mean
for you to get involved.
1278
00:56:14,626 --> 00:56:15,591
I'm family.
1279
00:56:15,593 --> 00:56:16,792
I can't be uninvolved.
1280
00:56:16,794 --> 00:56:18,428
What was going on it there?
1281
00:56:18,430 --> 00:56:19,528
Nothing's going on.
1282
00:56:19,530 --> 00:56:20,729
He had an itch.
1283
00:56:20,731 --> 00:56:22,664
You've got to scratch
a man's itch, Laurie.
1284
00:56:22,666 --> 00:56:24,667
Lord knows, I've
scratched my share.
1285
00:56:24,669 --> 00:56:26,401
What is he thinking?
1286
00:56:26,403 --> 00:56:30,573
He's thinking how he can
talk me into cutting him loose.
1287
00:56:30,575 --> 00:56:31,807
He kissed me.
1288
00:56:31,809 --> 00:56:32,941
Oh?
1289
00:56:32,943 --> 00:56:34,376
All bound up like
that, he kissed you?
1290
00:56:34,378 --> 00:56:35,544
It's his game.
1291
00:56:35,546 --> 00:56:37,513
Don't let that boy toy with you.
1292
00:56:37,515 --> 00:56:39,163
He's not toying with me.
1293
00:56:41,519 --> 00:56:42,618
Laurie?
1294
00:56:42,620 --> 00:56:44,687
Could you get some
more iced tea?
1295
00:56:44,689 --> 00:56:46,037
Sure.
1296
00:56:52,963 --> 00:56:55,832
I really fucked up
this time, Aunt Cindy.
1297
00:56:55,834 --> 00:56:57,133
Nonsense.
1298
00:56:57,135 --> 00:56:58,915
Men are scum.
1299
00:56:59,970 --> 00:57:04,439
Even your Uncle Harry, may
he rest in peace, was scum.
1300
00:57:04,441 --> 00:57:06,542
I spent tens of thousands
of dollars trying to
1301
00:57:06,544 --> 00:57:09,111
look like the the 20 somethings
he was chasing after.
1302
00:57:09,113 --> 00:57:12,381
Then the 30 somethings
and 40 somethings.
1303
00:57:12,383 --> 00:57:14,531
I was always a decade behind.
1304
00:57:15,553 --> 00:57:18,086
So, where did you meet this boy?
1305
00:57:18,088 --> 00:57:19,421
At a club.
1306
00:57:19,423 --> 00:57:20,990
You never wanna first meet a man
1307
00:57:20,992 --> 00:57:23,174
in the dark with alcohol.
1308
00:57:24,461 --> 00:57:27,597
I know it's routine but
it's a recipe for disaster.
1309
00:57:27,599 --> 00:57:31,401
Now, I may look old to you
but I am a modern woman.
1310
00:57:31,403 --> 00:57:33,135
I look for love online.
1311
00:57:33,137 --> 00:57:35,537
But you got to know
how to play the game.
1312
00:57:35,539 --> 00:57:38,073
If a guy says he's 50, he's 60.
1313
00:57:38,075 --> 00:57:41,611
If he's 60, he's 70.
1314
00:57:41,613 --> 00:57:43,160
But you know what they call me?
1315
00:57:44,015 --> 00:57:46,063
A Boomer Hottie.
1316
00:57:46,850 --> 00:57:47,883
That's right.
1317
00:57:47,885 --> 00:57:50,787
Your aunt is still a hottie.
1318
00:57:50,789 --> 00:57:52,789
I used to keep just only
condoms and lube in my purse,
1319
00:57:52,791 --> 00:57:56,691
but now I keep a little
bottle of these devils
1320
00:57:56,693 --> 00:58:00,530
in case some guy wants to
take me over Viagra Falls.
1321
00:58:00,532 --> 00:58:03,080
Oh! Aunt Cindy!
1322
00:58:04,635 --> 00:58:05,834
What?!
1323
00:58:05,836 --> 00:58:06,868
You're disgusted that
an old woman like me
1324
00:58:06,870 --> 00:58:09,504
still likes to screw?
1325
00:58:09,506 --> 00:58:12,256
Honey, you're gonna
be me one day.
1326
00:58:13,878 --> 00:58:16,178
With this luck, who knows
if I'll ever get laid again.
1327
00:58:16,180 --> 00:58:18,214
Getting laid is the easy part.
1328
00:58:18,216 --> 00:58:19,682
Finding someone you
wanna wake up with
1329
00:58:19,684 --> 00:58:22,633
in the morning,
that's the bugger.
1330
00:58:27,157 --> 00:58:29,459
You know what?
1331
00:58:29,461 --> 00:58:30,926
You need to breath.
1332
00:58:30,928 --> 00:58:32,694
To unstress.
1333
00:58:32,696 --> 00:58:34,062
Go shopping.
1334
00:58:34,064 --> 00:58:35,231
You like shopping.
1335
00:58:35,233 --> 00:58:37,200
My sister likes shopping.
1336
00:58:37,202 --> 00:58:38,700
I'll keep an eye on things here.
1337
00:58:38,702 --> 00:58:40,903
I really don't
want you involved.
1338
00:58:40,905 --> 00:58:41,870
Who's involved?
1339
00:58:41,872 --> 00:58:44,573
I'm just watching the house.
1340
00:58:44,575 --> 00:58:45,957
Go.
1341
00:59:04,829 --> 00:59:05,995
Oh, thank God.
1342
00:59:05,997 --> 00:59:07,095
Are you Carly's mother?
1343
00:59:07,097 --> 00:59:08,698
I'm her aunt.
1344
00:59:08,700 --> 00:59:09,698
It doesn't matter.
1345
00:59:09,700 --> 00:59:10,665
Look, you got to help me.
1346
00:59:10,667 --> 00:59:11,801
You got to cut me out of this.
1347
00:59:11,803 --> 00:59:12,934
I think with a heavy
scissors we can...
1348
00:59:12,936 --> 00:59:15,619
She's a lovely
girl, don't you think?
1349
00:59:17,274 --> 00:59:19,289
I know what you're thinking.
1350
00:59:20,577 --> 00:59:23,894
You want to say the c-word.
1351
00:59:24,749 --> 00:59:27,798
I would too if I was
all bound up like you.
1352
00:59:28,620 --> 00:59:31,035
But from what I understand,
1353
00:59:32,657 --> 00:59:34,305
you're not completely
innocent here.
1354
00:59:35,927 --> 00:59:37,059
I slept with her.
1355
00:59:37,061 --> 00:59:38,528
That is all.
1356
00:59:38,530 --> 00:59:39,595
That's all?
1357
00:59:39,597 --> 00:59:40,263
That's all!
1358
00:59:40,265 --> 00:59:41,597
What the fuck!
1359
00:59:41,599 --> 00:59:42,597
You've got to get
me out of here.
1360
00:59:42,599 --> 00:59:43,698
Have a drink.
1361
00:59:43,700 --> 00:59:44,633
I don't want anything to drink.
1362
00:59:44,635 --> 00:59:46,102
Just help me get out of this.
1363
00:59:46,104 --> 00:59:49,004
You look hot.
1364
00:59:49,006 --> 00:59:50,606
Have a drink.
1365
00:59:50,608 --> 00:59:52,675
Cool down.
1366
00:59:52,677 --> 00:59:55,125
Maybe we can work something out.
1367
01:00:01,285 --> 01:00:02,232
There.
1368
01:00:03,153 --> 01:00:04,834
So now what?
1369
01:00:06,024 --> 01:00:08,890
You know, I have never
seen a relationship problem
1370
01:00:08,892 --> 01:00:11,260
where the fault
was all one sided.
1371
01:00:11,262 --> 01:00:13,763
Well, you're looking at
Mr. Faultless, right now.
1372
01:00:13,765 --> 01:00:15,131
How old are you?
1373
01:00:15,133 --> 01:00:17,066
I'm 28.
1374
01:00:17,068 --> 01:00:18,167
Not 38?
1375
01:00:18,169 --> 01:00:19,167
No!
1376
01:00:19,169 --> 01:00:20,368
Huh.
1377
01:00:20,370 --> 01:00:23,004
I guess men tell the truth about
their age until they're 30.
1378
01:00:23,006 --> 01:00:24,173
Okay.
1379
01:00:24,175 --> 01:00:25,073
You have to call the
police or something
1380
01:00:25,075 --> 01:00:26,742
or you're just as involved.
1381
01:00:26,744 --> 01:00:29,060
I don't know about that.
1382
01:00:30,914 --> 01:00:33,783
If I was every called
upon to say anything,
1383
01:00:33,785 --> 01:00:35,251
I would just tell them
1384
01:00:35,253 --> 01:00:38,321
I didn't want to get involved
in the kinky sexcapades
1385
01:00:38,323 --> 01:00:39,854
of the younger generation.
1386
01:00:39,856 --> 01:00:41,189
This isn't any kinky sex.
1387
01:00:41,191 --> 01:00:43,106
I'm being held here
against my will.
1388
01:00:46,997 --> 01:00:48,597
What are you doing?
1389
01:00:48,599 --> 01:00:51,214
Just checking to see if
the cast covered everything.
1390
01:00:55,139 --> 01:00:56,886
You're a baker?
1391
01:00:58,075 --> 01:01:00,843
You can tell I'm a baker
just by looking at my crotch?
1392
01:01:00,845 --> 01:01:02,345
Carly told me.
1393
01:01:02,347 --> 01:01:07,732
I love those chewy fudge
brownies with walnuts.
1394
01:01:08,919 --> 01:01:10,385
Do you make those?
1395
01:01:10,387 --> 01:01:12,622
What the fuck are
you talking about?
1396
01:01:12,624 --> 01:01:13,254
Brownies.
1397
01:01:13,256 --> 01:01:15,071
Do you make brownies?
1398
01:01:15,927 --> 01:01:16,892
Yes.
1399
01:01:16,894 --> 01:01:18,193
Bread pudding?
1400
01:01:18,195 --> 01:01:19,060
Yep.
1401
01:01:19,062 --> 01:01:20,162
Bread pudding.
1402
01:01:20,164 --> 01:01:21,363
Brownies, cakes,
challah, all of it.
1403
01:01:21,365 --> 01:01:23,113
Now help me!
1404
01:01:24,369 --> 01:01:27,637
Have you every gone on one
of those online dating sites
1405
01:01:27,639 --> 01:01:29,772
where you put in all your
personal information?
1406
01:01:29,774 --> 01:01:31,288
Yes.
1407
01:01:31,876 --> 01:01:34,876
And you go one of those
dates from those sites
1408
01:01:34,878 --> 01:01:39,280
and it's like being
on an airplane
1409
01:01:39,282 --> 01:01:42,118
and it's taking you
to the wrong city.
1410
01:01:42,120 --> 01:01:43,434
You can't get off.
1411
01:01:45,289 --> 01:01:46,870
Horrible.
1412
01:01:48,158 --> 01:01:52,075
I bet that is how Carly
is feeling right now.
1413
01:02:00,137 --> 01:02:02,285
♪ I'm mad
1414
01:02:03,140 --> 01:02:04,140
♪ Madly in love ♪
1415
01:02:04,142 --> 01:02:06,809
I'm an open minded person.
1416
01:02:06,811 --> 01:02:08,424
I'm not very judgmental.
1417
01:02:09,312 --> 01:02:12,129
Everybody likes
something different.
1418
01:02:12,983 --> 01:02:17,000
But I'm a firm
believer in pleasure
1419
01:02:19,990 --> 01:02:21,723
for pleasure's sake.
1420
01:02:21,725 --> 01:02:22,758
What are you doing?
1421
01:02:22,760 --> 01:02:26,109
♪ I'm so madly in love
1422
01:02:27,965 --> 01:02:32,415
Just live in the moment.
1423
01:02:33,370 --> 01:02:34,885
The moment?
1424
01:02:35,939 --> 01:02:39,088
You don't have to
be modest with me.
1425
01:02:42,479 --> 01:02:46,095
We're going to play a game.
1426
01:02:47,818 --> 01:02:51,868
You know, pretend.
1427
01:02:52,457 --> 01:02:53,923
You patient.
1428
01:02:53,925 --> 01:02:55,925
Me nurse.
1429
01:02:55,927 --> 01:03:01,111
♪ I'm right in your
hands ♪ So lonely
1430
01:03:01,765 --> 01:03:04,048
♪ I'm so madly Jesus!
1431
01:03:06,937 --> 01:03:15,291
♪ So take me ♪ I'm madly in love
1432
01:03:20,117 --> 01:03:24,954
Carly, I just wanted to let
you know how sorry I am.
1433
01:03:24,956 --> 01:03:26,903
Genuinely sorry.
1434
01:03:29,459 --> 01:03:31,107
I know I hurt you.
1435
01:03:31,963 --> 01:03:35,363
Not that this flimsy
excuse suffices.
1436
01:03:35,365 --> 01:03:37,615
I mean what punishment
you've given me is deserved.
1437
01:03:39,970 --> 01:03:41,318
Truly deserved.
1438
01:03:42,106 --> 01:03:45,774
And I place no limit
on the fault I accept.
1439
01:03:45,776 --> 01:03:47,957
No one is to blame for this,
1440
01:03:50,515 --> 01:03:51,379
for all of this.
1441
01:03:51,381 --> 01:03:52,595
No one but me.
1442
01:03:55,019 --> 01:03:55,917
Milo Daily.
1443
01:03:55,919 --> 01:03:59,035
(CALM MUSIC)
1444
01:04:00,858 --> 01:04:02,323
How was that?
1445
01:04:02,325 --> 01:04:03,606
Shallow.
1446
01:04:04,896 --> 01:04:06,176
I didn't buy it.
1447
01:04:07,497 --> 01:04:09,164
It wasn't a mistake.
1448
01:04:09,166 --> 01:04:10,580
We all make mistakes.
1449
01:04:11,401 --> 01:04:13,316
Yours was something deeper.
1450
01:04:14,171 --> 01:04:16,153
You made a life choice.
1451
01:04:17,508 --> 01:04:18,274
Then what?
1452
01:04:18,276 --> 01:04:19,575
What can I say?
1453
01:04:19,577 --> 01:04:21,458
What gets me out of this?
1454
01:04:22,312 --> 01:04:24,546
Maybe you need to grovel more.
1455
01:04:24,548 --> 01:04:26,015
"Carly, I am sick."
1456
01:04:26,017 --> 01:04:27,149
"I'm repulsive."
1457
01:04:27,151 --> 01:04:29,318
"I'm garbage."
1458
01:04:29,320 --> 01:04:30,285
I'm repulsive?
1459
01:04:30,287 --> 01:04:31,187
I'm garbage?
1460
01:04:31,189 --> 01:04:32,603
Abso-fuckin-lutely.
1461
01:04:34,157 --> 01:04:35,323
But don't feel bad.
1462
01:04:35,325 --> 01:04:36,457
You're not alone.
1463
01:04:36,459 --> 01:04:39,008
I have known a world
of cocksuckers.
1464
01:04:40,865 --> 01:04:42,346
So?
1465
01:04:45,336 --> 01:04:50,187
You liked fucking my niece
but did you like her?
1466
01:04:52,943 --> 01:04:55,944
Yeah, I did.
1467
01:04:55,946 --> 01:04:57,961
I think she's cute.
1468
01:04:58,916 --> 01:05:00,249
I have a puppy that's cute.
1469
01:05:00,251 --> 01:05:02,232
Like you're cute.
1470
01:05:04,055 --> 01:05:07,122
So maybe a more
romantic apology?
1471
01:05:07,124 --> 01:05:08,890
Is that what you're thinking?
1472
01:05:08,892 --> 01:05:12,160
"Carly, I know you
don't believe me,"
1473
01:05:12,162 --> 01:05:14,544
"but I really want
you in my life."
1474
01:05:15,867 --> 01:05:16,531
"I love you."
1475
01:05:16,533 --> 01:05:17,499
Will the love card ork?
1476
01:05:17,501 --> 01:05:19,249
Not like that it won't.
1477
01:05:20,104 --> 01:05:21,470
Well, fuck!
1478
01:05:21,472 --> 01:05:24,606
I don't know what you the
fuck you want, what she wants.
1479
01:05:24,608 --> 01:05:27,977
You and your fuckin' niece
can go meet all your men
1480
01:05:27,979 --> 01:05:30,546
on Snatch dot com
or Okay Stupid,
1481
01:05:30,548 --> 01:05:32,948
just get me the
fuck out of here.
1482
01:05:32,950 --> 01:05:35,399
Oh, sweetheart.
1483
01:05:37,889 --> 01:05:42,124
Maybe you need a little more
pain to make a sincere apology.
1484
01:05:42,126 --> 01:05:45,627
(FOREBODING MUSIC)
1485
01:05:45,629 --> 01:05:48,464
Hey, what do you mean?
1486
01:05:48,466 --> 01:05:50,566
What do you mean?!!
1487
01:05:50,568 --> 01:05:54,035
(FOREBODING MUSIC)
1488
01:05:54,037 --> 01:05:57,488
Hey, I'm not a bad guy!
1489
01:06:02,028 --> 01:06:07,028
Translation and subtitles by
PEPPER & LALASPAIN
*** SONG LIVES FOR EVER ***
1490
01:06:11,555 --> 01:06:12,988
Any trouble?
1491
01:06:12,990 --> 01:06:13,988
No. Not at all.
1492
01:06:13,990 --> 01:06:15,124
You remember Detrick?
1493
01:06:15,126 --> 01:06:16,591
Actually, I've
never met Detrick.
1494
01:06:16,593 --> 01:06:18,359
And is this really
the right time?
1495
01:06:18,361 --> 01:06:20,129
I told Detrick.
1496
01:06:20,131 --> 01:06:22,363
You told Detrick what?
1497
01:06:22,365 --> 01:06:23,198
Oh my god, Cindy!
1498
01:06:23,200 --> 01:06:24,533
What are you doing?
1499
01:06:24,535 --> 01:06:27,135
We're gone for two hours and
you complicate everything.
1500
01:06:27,137 --> 01:06:29,004
You complicate everything.
1501
01:06:29,006 --> 01:06:29,705
No, no, no.
1502
01:06:29,707 --> 01:06:31,272
It's all right, Mrs. Sagat.
1503
01:06:31,274 --> 01:06:33,408
I am on your side
for everything.
1504
01:06:33,410 --> 01:06:37,146
He's a terrible man and he
deserves everything he gets.
1505
01:06:37,148 --> 01:06:39,048
Oh, don't crinkle
up your forehead.
1506
01:06:39,050 --> 01:06:41,050
You are so beautiful.
1507
01:06:41,052 --> 01:06:43,718
All the women in this family are
so beautiful.
1508
01:06:43,720 --> 01:06:46,187
Your skin so smooth.
1509
01:06:46,189 --> 01:06:47,604
How I envy you.
1510
01:06:49,193 --> 01:06:50,559
Who are you?
1511
01:06:50,561 --> 01:06:52,727
Detrick is the premier
waxer at the Brazilian bar
1512
01:06:52,729 --> 01:06:54,396
where Aunt Cindy and I go to.
1513
01:06:54,398 --> 01:06:55,997
You flatter me.
1514
01:06:55,999 --> 01:06:58,300
You should come by next time
with your daughter and sister.
1515
01:06:58,302 --> 01:07:01,169
The first treatment
I do for free.
1516
01:07:01,171 --> 01:07:05,441
I will make your vagina and anus
1517
01:07:05,443 --> 01:07:07,624
look like new.
1518
01:07:09,113 --> 01:07:10,394
New!
1519
01:07:10,981 --> 01:07:13,115
Cindy, why did
you invite him here?
1520
01:07:13,117 --> 01:07:15,984
That boy Carly has upstairs
has been taking advantage
1521
01:07:15,986 --> 01:07:18,153
of women all of his life.
1522
01:07:18,155 --> 01:07:19,120
Honey, allow me.
1523
01:07:19,122 --> 01:07:20,589
He has no respect for women;
1524
01:07:20,591 --> 01:07:24,325
No idea what women go through
in their relationships.
1525
01:07:24,327 --> 01:07:28,111
In order to have compassion
you must know the pain.
1526
01:07:29,032 --> 01:07:30,999
So I manscaped him.
1527
01:07:31,001 --> 01:07:32,133
You did what?
1528
01:07:32,135 --> 01:07:33,769
Just a Brazilian.
1529
01:07:33,771 --> 01:07:35,671
And an anal bleaching.
1530
01:07:35,673 --> 01:07:38,740
I waxed his scrotum,
pubic and anal area
1531
01:07:38,742 --> 01:07:41,157
and whitened him wonderfully.
1532
01:07:41,711 --> 01:07:43,312
I was as gentle as I always am.
1533
01:07:43,314 --> 01:07:44,780
But he was such a child.
1534
01:07:44,782 --> 01:07:47,749
Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!
1535
01:07:47,751 --> 01:07:50,118
Such a pussy.
1536
01:07:50,120 --> 01:07:51,352
Cindy took pictures.
1537
01:07:51,354 --> 01:07:52,502
Yes.
1538
01:07:54,024 --> 01:07:55,156
We found him like this.
1539
01:07:55,158 --> 01:07:57,258
We think he was
trying to escape.
1540
01:07:57,260 --> 01:07:58,227
So we thought we should cuff him
1541
01:07:58,229 --> 01:07:59,528
so he wouldn't try that again.
1542
01:07:59,530 --> 01:08:01,229
I hid my identity.
1543
01:08:01,231 --> 01:08:02,479
He was a screamer.
1544
01:08:03,466 --> 01:08:05,633
I made him smooth as a baby.
1545
01:08:05,635 --> 01:08:10,039
Cheek to cheek and
all dressed up.
1546
01:08:10,041 --> 01:08:13,175
He clearly was not into
having a good appearance
1547
01:08:13,177 --> 01:08:15,577
and good hygiene down there.
1548
01:08:15,579 --> 01:08:18,080
But what do you expect
from somebody like that.
1549
01:08:18,082 --> 01:08:21,865
But now, his ass and balls are
more kissable than his face.
1550
01:08:23,287 --> 01:08:28,472
But then he had the snow balls.
1551
01:08:28,659 --> 01:08:31,125
So we took him
outside to tan a bit.
1552
01:08:31,127 --> 01:08:32,308
What?
1553
01:08:41,806 --> 01:08:43,720
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
1554
01:08:44,775 --> 01:08:48,777
(FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
1555
01:08:48,779 --> 01:08:50,778
I'm here, I am ready, my love.
1556
01:08:50,780 --> 01:08:52,147
And you are?
1557
01:08:52,149 --> 01:08:54,198
(FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
1558
01:08:57,421 --> 01:08:59,188
I am so sorry.
1559
01:08:59,190 --> 01:09:00,322
She is my fiancee.
1560
01:09:00,324 --> 01:09:01,423
That.
1561
01:09:01,425 --> 01:09:03,157
I told her she
could come right in.
1562
01:09:03,159 --> 01:09:06,562
Thank you so very
much for your help.
1563
01:09:06,564 --> 01:09:08,197
No.
1564
01:09:08,199 --> 01:09:11,481
Thank you for letting me be a
part of this beautiful crime.
1565
01:09:16,306 --> 01:09:17,720
And I hope you don't mind.
1566
01:09:18,641 --> 01:09:20,656
I gave him a Prince Albert.
1567
01:09:21,678 --> 01:09:23,344
What is a Prince Albert?
1568
01:09:23,346 --> 01:09:27,263
(FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
1569
01:09:36,426 --> 01:09:37,125
Okay.
1570
01:09:37,127 --> 01:09:38,326
Whatever.
1571
01:09:38,328 --> 01:09:39,127
It's just something
to please the ladies.
1572
01:09:39,129 --> 01:09:39,909
You will love it.
1573
01:09:41,599 --> 01:09:42,980
Stop that one!
1574
01:09:44,200 --> 01:09:45,733
Don't rush me, all the time!
1575
01:09:45,735 --> 01:09:47,870
Isn't it beautiful?
1576
01:09:47,872 --> 01:09:51,473
There is someone for everyone.
1577
01:09:51,475 --> 01:09:55,777
Oh, I should tell you the
gods were smiling on us today.
1578
01:09:55,779 --> 01:09:58,280
Thank god for that ball gag.
1579
01:09:58,282 --> 01:09:59,380
Why?
1580
01:09:59,382 --> 01:10:00,215
A policeman showed
up while Detrick
1581
01:10:00,217 --> 01:10:01,416
was doing his business.
1582
01:10:01,418 --> 01:10:03,785
If he would have yelled...
A policeman?!
1583
01:10:03,787 --> 01:10:05,586
He wanted to talk
to you but I told him
1584
01:10:05,588 --> 01:10:06,354
you weren't here.
1585
01:10:06,356 --> 01:10:07,255
So he left.
1586
01:10:07,257 --> 01:10:08,590
That's all?
1587
01:10:08,592 --> 01:10:10,358
He didn't say more.
1588
01:10:10,360 --> 01:10:11,759
I didn't ask more.
1589
01:10:11,761 --> 01:10:13,428
Oh my god, a policeman!
1590
01:10:13,430 --> 01:10:14,929
He's going to come back!
1591
01:10:14,931 --> 01:10:16,831
Fudge! Fudge! Fudge!
1592
01:10:16,833 --> 01:10:18,948
Oh, Laurie, just say fuck.
1593
01:10:21,538 --> 01:10:24,287
Deep breaths.
1594
01:10:25,275 --> 01:10:27,290
Deep breaths.
1595
01:10:28,678 --> 01:10:30,245
Did you take your Xanax?
1596
01:10:30,247 --> 01:10:31,446
Yes.
1597
01:10:31,448 --> 01:10:32,995
Take another.
1598
01:10:34,484 --> 01:10:37,486
Look, these things have a way
of working themselves out.
1599
01:10:37,488 --> 01:10:38,887
Your mother's the pessimist.
1600
01:10:38,889 --> 01:10:40,722
Your father's a
cockeyed optimist.
1601
01:10:40,724 --> 01:10:42,957
But you are the pragmatist.
1602
01:10:42,959 --> 01:10:44,926
I am not a pessimist.
1603
01:10:44,928 --> 01:10:47,744
It's just that we're
all going to jail.
1604
01:10:48,532 --> 01:10:49,398
I talked to your father.
1605
01:10:49,400 --> 01:10:50,599
He's coming home soon.
1606
01:10:50,601 --> 01:10:52,300
He'll help you get
him back upstairs.
1607
01:10:52,302 --> 01:10:55,637
And then I think the right
time and idea will come.
1608
01:10:55,639 --> 01:10:57,020
What makes you think so?
1609
01:10:57,841 --> 01:10:59,356
You fucked up.
1610
01:10:59,776 --> 01:11:02,411
But I've fucked up
plenty of times.
1611
01:11:02,413 --> 01:11:03,978
And look at me.
1612
01:11:03,980 --> 01:11:05,813
I'm not a pessimist.
1613
01:11:05,815 --> 01:11:07,616
You don't know when
things are serious.
1614
01:11:07,618 --> 01:11:09,399
This is serious.
1615
01:11:10,687 --> 01:11:13,337
Keep sharp things
away from your mother.
1616
01:11:19,829 --> 01:11:22,878
(CALM MUSIC)
1617
01:11:24,601 --> 01:11:26,449
Happy Mardi Gras!
1618
01:11:32,676 --> 01:11:34,609
They really messed
you up, huh kid?
1619
01:11:34,611 --> 01:11:35,509
Mr. Sagat?
1620
01:11:35,511 --> 01:11:37,026
- If you just...
- Shh.
1621
01:11:38,649 --> 01:11:40,364
I don't want to hear from you.
1622
01:11:43,988 --> 01:11:46,822
I've been listening in
my head to everything
1623
01:11:46,824 --> 01:11:50,826
that can be said from
you, from my daughter,
1624
01:11:50,828 --> 01:11:54,611
and my wife, and I don't
want to hear anymore.
1625
01:11:55,365 --> 01:11:56,645
Nope.
1626
01:11:59,869 --> 01:12:01,752
Want something
that's really tasty?
1627
01:12:02,739 --> 01:12:03,839
There you go.
1628
01:12:03,841 --> 01:12:04,840
Don't spill it.
1629
01:12:04,842 --> 01:12:06,340
Don't spill it.
1630
01:12:06,342 --> 01:12:08,277
Don't spill it.
1631
01:12:08,279 --> 01:12:09,010
Oh, no good.
1632
01:12:09,012 --> 01:12:10,379
You spilled it.
1633
01:12:10,381 --> 01:12:13,062
You're wasting good booze, dude.
1634
01:12:14,517 --> 01:12:16,018
Really good.
1635
01:12:16,020 --> 01:12:19,936
This, this is just silliness.
1636
01:12:20,757 --> 01:12:23,172
Oh, man!
1637
01:12:24,962 --> 01:12:27,362
I like the Dodgers this year.
1638
01:12:27,364 --> 01:12:29,665
Yeah, I like the Dodgers.
1639
01:12:29,667 --> 01:12:33,616
I like the Dodgers every year
but this year they don't suck.
1640
01:12:35,838 --> 01:12:37,505
I got season tickets.
1641
01:12:37,507 --> 01:12:39,374
Behind the dug-out.
1642
01:12:39,376 --> 01:12:42,009
Yeah! I said...
1643
01:12:42,011 --> 01:12:45,380
♪ Take me out to the ballgame
1644
01:12:45,382 --> 01:12:48,049
♪ Take me out with the crowd
1645
01:12:48,051 --> 01:12:51,085
♪ Buy me some peanuts
and crackerjacks
1646
01:12:51,087 --> 01:12:53,789
♪ I don't care if
I never come back
1647
01:12:53,791 --> 01:12:56,924
♪ For it's Root, root, root
1648
01:12:56,926 --> 01:12:59,393
♪ For the home
team Stay with me.
1649
01:12:59,395 --> 01:13:01,429
♪ If they don't win it's a shame
1650
01:13:01,431 --> 01:13:02,598
♪ For it's
1651
01:13:02,600 --> 01:13:06,982
♪ One, two, three strikes
you're out at the old ball game
1652
01:13:08,538 --> 01:13:10,572
That was great.
1653
01:13:10,574 --> 01:13:12,474
That was great.
1654
01:13:12,476 --> 01:13:15,009
We're so good with
that together.
1655
01:13:15,011 --> 01:13:18,028
You know, that was great.
1656
01:13:19,416 --> 01:13:21,515
I've been trying to
think of, you know,
1657
01:13:21,517 --> 01:13:24,553
other things besides this.
1658
01:13:24,555 --> 01:13:26,088
Like, you know, baseball.
1659
01:13:26,090 --> 01:13:28,055
I know what you're thinking.
1660
01:13:28,057 --> 01:13:32,426
I know you're thinking what's
the answer to all this.
1661
01:13:32,428 --> 01:13:35,544
Gee, golly, whiz,
what's the answer?
1662
01:13:36,632 --> 01:13:38,633
I've got the ultimate answer.
1663
01:13:38,635 --> 01:13:40,469
It's the biological imperative.
1664
01:13:40,471 --> 01:13:43,104
If you ever have kids of
your own, you'll know.
1665
01:13:43,106 --> 01:13:46,107
You're always gonna love
blood, no matter what.
1666
01:13:46,109 --> 01:13:47,875
No matter what they do.
1667
01:13:47,877 --> 01:13:52,194
No matter what they become.
1668
01:13:53,717 --> 01:13:55,932
Why do you look so
pissed off at me?
1669
01:13:56,986 --> 01:13:59,454
Why do you, what the
fuck did I do to you?
1670
01:13:59,456 --> 01:14:00,637
Huh?
1671
01:14:03,127 --> 01:14:06,627
Man, I caught a tooth.
1672
01:14:06,629 --> 01:14:09,111
(LAUGHS)
1673
01:14:10,400 --> 01:14:12,781
That's all the pain
I'm gonna cause you
1674
01:14:14,904 --> 01:14:16,185
for now.
1675
01:14:17,007 --> 01:14:21,191
Hey, good talk.
1676
01:14:22,413 --> 01:14:25,013
(BRIGHT BUBBLY MUSIC)
1677
01:14:25,015 --> 01:14:26,196
Yeah.
1678
01:14:27,150 --> 01:14:28,765
Good talk.
1679
01:14:32,523 --> 01:14:36,071
(FIRE CRACKLING)
1680
01:14:42,699 --> 01:14:44,214
- Hey baby.
- Dad!
1681
01:14:45,468 --> 01:14:46,867
These are your best friends.
1682
01:14:46,869 --> 01:14:48,170
They care about you.
1683
01:14:48,172 --> 01:14:49,504
Let them help.
1684
01:14:49,506 --> 01:14:50,572
Dad, isn't it enough
that I'm already
1685
01:14:50,574 --> 01:14:52,072
in a shitload of trouble?
1686
01:14:52,074 --> 01:14:53,774
I didn't want anybody
else involved.
1687
01:14:53,776 --> 01:14:54,776
It's not your fault.
1688
01:14:54,778 --> 01:14:55,609
He's a scumbag.
1689
01:14:55,611 --> 01:14:56,611
It was an accident.
1690
01:14:56,613 --> 01:14:57,978
Look, she shouldn't have
to have her life ruined
1691
01:14:57,980 --> 01:14:59,514
because the guy's
allergic to shit.
1692
01:14:59,516 --> 01:15:01,616
We're going to
fix this together.
1693
01:15:01,618 --> 01:15:04,185
Your mother is not coping
well with this, Princess.
1694
01:15:04,187 --> 01:15:05,620
I'm more worried
about her right now
1695
01:15:05,622 --> 01:15:06,888
than I am about you.
1696
01:15:06,890 --> 01:15:08,657
I'm gonna take her
away for a bit.
1697
01:15:08,659 --> 01:15:10,625
But I am going to work this out.
1698
01:15:10,627 --> 01:15:11,908
I promise.
1699
01:15:18,534 --> 01:15:19,867
What are you gonna do?
1700
01:15:19,869 --> 01:15:21,685
I have no idea.
1701
01:15:23,006 --> 01:15:23,938
Did you ever think about just
1702
01:15:23,940 --> 01:15:25,588
killing the son of a bitch?
1703
01:15:26,543 --> 01:15:28,742
Yeah, that was my Mom's idea.
1704
01:15:28,744 --> 01:15:30,211
Your Mom's so fucking cool.
1705
01:15:30,213 --> 01:15:31,713
But she's crazy.
1706
01:15:31,715 --> 01:15:33,863
Yeah, but she's so fucking cool.
1707
01:15:40,090 --> 01:15:42,691
Your driver's license fell
out of your pant's pocket.
1708
01:15:42,693 --> 01:15:45,559
Your name is Milo
Daily, not Steve.
1709
01:15:45,561 --> 01:15:46,827
Okay, I lied.
1710
01:15:46,829 --> 01:15:49,097
But I just wanted
you to like me.
1711
01:15:49,099 --> 01:15:50,232
You gave me an STD.
1712
01:15:50,234 --> 01:15:52,701
- It wasn't me.
- It was you.
1713
01:15:52,703 --> 01:15:54,001
Come on. Come on.
1714
01:15:54,003 --> 01:15:55,170
Can't we just start all over?
1715
01:15:55,172 --> 01:15:56,604
You and me.
1716
01:15:56,606 --> 01:15:58,020
The real me.
1717
01:15:59,609 --> 01:16:00,789
Okay.
1718
01:16:01,645 --> 01:16:02,943
We'll forget this ever happened.
1719
01:16:02,945 --> 01:16:04,293
We'll start over.
1720
01:16:11,154 --> 01:16:13,088
I don't get it, you fucked him?!
1721
01:16:13,090 --> 01:16:15,890
Oh, it's as if you've
made perfect choices.
1722
01:16:15,892 --> 01:16:16,825
I don't know.
1723
01:16:16,827 --> 01:16:18,125
He's not that bad looking
1724
01:16:18,127 --> 01:16:20,127
and according to your
text you sent me...
1725
01:16:20,129 --> 01:16:21,945
Shh, shut up.
1726
01:16:22,999 --> 01:16:25,099
We'll just say you had
some nice things to say.
1727
01:16:25,101 --> 01:16:27,768
Well, you think things
are gonna work out?
1728
01:16:27,770 --> 01:16:30,005
Whatdaya want to do with him?
1729
01:16:30,007 --> 01:16:31,755
Carly?
1730
01:16:34,578 --> 01:16:36,143
I got it, Carly.
1731
01:16:36,145 --> 01:16:38,146
You could get your
hands on a pacemaker.
1732
01:16:38,148 --> 01:16:40,014
And we'll modify it
with some explosives
1733
01:16:40,016 --> 01:16:41,982
and stick it inside his chest
1734
01:16:41,984 --> 01:16:43,932
so that when he
goes to the police.
1735
01:16:45,021 --> 01:16:46,655
Boom!
1736
01:16:46,657 --> 01:16:48,622
You know what? Fuck it.
1737
01:16:48,624 --> 01:16:50,925
I don't need to hide
from this bastard.
1738
01:16:50,927 --> 01:16:52,775
I'm not afraid of him.
1739
01:16:55,097 --> 01:16:58,032
Carly, I want to say, I'm sorry.
1740
01:16:58,034 --> 01:17:00,000
I'm very sorry.
1741
01:17:00,002 --> 01:17:04,839
I'm genuinely, genuinely
sorry for everything...
1742
01:17:04,841 --> 01:17:06,073
You're sorry.
1743
01:17:06,075 --> 01:17:08,357
So, sorry.
1744
01:17:09,712 --> 01:17:10,911
Where did you find these two?
1745
01:17:10,913 --> 01:17:13,247
The girl with the snake
tattoo and Goldilocks?
1746
01:17:13,249 --> 01:17:14,982
What, do you got the
three bears coming later?
1747
01:17:14,984 --> 01:17:16,718
This is not a snake.
1748
01:17:16,720 --> 01:17:18,053
It's a serpent.
1749
01:17:18,055 --> 01:17:19,987
And what makes you think
there's gonna be a later?
1750
01:17:19,989 --> 01:17:22,290
Why are guys like this
always such assholes?
1751
01:17:22,292 --> 01:17:23,991
What do you mean guys like this?
1752
01:17:23,993 --> 01:17:26,294
Guys who have been
drugged, stabbed, pierced,
1753
01:17:26,296 --> 01:17:28,295
kidnapped, all
trussed up in a cast?
1754
01:17:28,297 --> 01:17:29,831
Not to mention...
1755
01:17:29,833 --> 01:17:32,133
Guys that put on airs to
get laid and then disappear.
1756
01:17:32,135 --> 01:17:33,934
I didn't disappear.
1757
01:17:33,936 --> 01:17:35,903
Carly, I didn't disappear.
1758
01:17:35,905 --> 01:17:37,973
Okay, I go out with a girl.
1759
01:17:37,975 --> 01:17:40,341
You know and if it works
out, I go out again.
1760
01:17:40,343 --> 01:17:42,176
And sometimes something happens.
1761
01:17:42,178 --> 01:17:44,912
Or someone, and you move on.
1762
01:17:44,914 --> 01:17:46,014
I mean, that's not a sin.
1763
01:17:46,016 --> 01:17:46,947
That's life.
1764
01:17:46,949 --> 01:17:48,464
Oh my God, I've got it.
1765
01:17:49,218 --> 01:17:50,751
We pour whiskey down his throat,
1766
01:17:50,753 --> 01:17:52,120
get him shit faced drunk,
1767
01:17:52,122 --> 01:17:54,822
and then throw him unconscious
into the street somewhere.
1768
01:17:54,824 --> 01:17:56,224
By the time the cops find
him and he sobers up,
1769
01:17:56,226 --> 01:17:58,292
they're not going to
believe his crazy story.
1770
01:17:58,294 --> 01:18:01,110
That's actually a great idea.
1771
01:18:01,864 --> 01:18:02,964
Think about it.
1772
01:18:02,966 --> 01:18:04,799
If he shows 'em
the cast abrasions,
1773
01:18:04,801 --> 01:18:07,635
his pierced dick and the
needle puncture to his heart,
1774
01:18:07,637 --> 01:18:09,069
they might believe him.
1775
01:18:09,071 --> 01:18:11,106
Really? Now you're gonna
start thinking clearly?
1776
01:18:11,108 --> 01:18:13,841
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
1777
01:18:13,843 --> 01:18:15,210
Tammy!
1778
01:18:15,212 --> 01:18:17,978
I could fucking kill
this cocksucker myself!
1779
01:18:17,980 --> 01:18:19,428
Calm down. Get down.
1780
01:18:22,218 --> 01:18:23,984
Come on, Blondy?
1781
01:18:23,986 --> 01:18:26,021
Any more brilliant
ideas or are you just
1782
01:18:26,023 --> 01:18:28,303
gonna keep flashing
me your cooz all day?
1783
01:18:30,260 --> 01:18:32,393
Fucking let me
punch him in the face!
1784
01:18:32,395 --> 01:18:34,728
Why is she such a cunt!?
1785
01:18:34,730 --> 01:18:36,130
Okay.
1786
01:18:36,132 --> 01:18:38,133
Here we go, ladies.
1787
01:18:38,135 --> 01:18:39,366
Thank you.
1788
01:18:39,368 --> 01:18:41,201
Say cheese!
1789
01:18:41,203 --> 01:18:42,519
Hilary?
1790
01:18:44,807 --> 01:18:47,341
Carly, come on,
I know I fucked up.
1791
01:18:47,343 --> 01:18:49,044
But don't let these
friends of yours
1792
01:18:49,046 --> 01:18:50,978
talk you into doing
something crazy.
1793
01:18:50,980 --> 01:18:53,095
Something crazier than
you've already done.
1794
01:18:54,083 --> 01:18:56,750
(SOFT MUSIC)
1795
01:18:56,752 --> 01:18:58,452
Don't get any ideas.
1796
01:18:58,454 --> 01:19:02,337
That was just a token to
say, I'm really sorry.
1797
01:19:04,860 --> 01:19:06,042
Carly.
1798
01:19:09,900 --> 01:19:13,082
(SENSUAL MUSIC)
1799
01:19:14,171 --> 01:19:16,705
Come girls, think
about what you're doing.
1800
01:19:16,707 --> 01:19:18,005
I'm a human being,
I make mistakes.
1801
01:19:18,007 --> 01:19:19,441
We all make mistakes.
1802
01:19:19,443 --> 01:19:21,475
Don't do something you're
gonna feel sorry for.
1803
01:19:21,477 --> 01:19:23,092
He's not going to fit.
1804
01:19:23,913 --> 01:19:25,561
- I will make him fit.
- Put that down!
1805
01:19:26,717 --> 01:19:28,049
Carly, tell her
to put that down.
1806
01:19:28,051 --> 01:19:29,349
Don't bother, that won't work.
1807
01:19:29,351 --> 01:19:30,866
Thank you.
1808
01:19:34,725 --> 01:19:35,823
What the fuck?!
1809
01:19:35,825 --> 01:19:37,058
When did this become
a horror movie?!
1810
01:19:37,060 --> 01:19:37,959
Will you shut up!
1811
01:19:37,961 --> 01:19:39,126
Don't be such a pussy!
1812
01:19:39,128 --> 01:19:41,095
Allow me.
1813
01:19:41,097 --> 01:19:42,979
Don't allow her.
1814
01:19:45,968 --> 01:19:48,737
Carly, don't plug it in.
1815
01:19:48,739 --> 01:19:49,470
I'm plugging it in.
1816
01:19:49,472 --> 01:19:53,122
(CHAINSAW BUZZING)
1817
01:19:56,078 --> 01:20:00,128
(UPBEAT COUNTRY MUSIC)
1818
01:20:02,351 --> 01:20:04,033
She's sorry.
1819
01:20:05,355 --> 01:20:07,054
It was an accident.
1820
01:20:07,056 --> 01:20:09,389
Well, if he
wouldn't have moved...
1821
01:20:09,391 --> 01:20:11,024
All right, let's
get him in the car.
1822
01:20:11,026 --> 01:20:15,110
(UPBEAT COUNTRY MUSIC)
1823
01:20:16,967 --> 01:20:21,050
(HUMMING)
1824
01:20:27,243 --> 01:20:28,924
(SCREAMS)
1825
01:20:29,512 --> 01:20:31,026
Fuck!
1826
01:20:33,949 --> 01:20:35,497
You know I know what's going on.
1827
01:20:36,986 --> 01:20:38,568
The police are looking for me.
1828
01:20:40,457 --> 01:20:42,538
Someone came to the
house, didn't they?
1829
01:20:44,060 --> 01:20:46,209
I told you this would
end badly for you.
1830
01:20:47,998 --> 01:20:49,964
You know, if you
girls let me go now,
1831
01:20:49,966 --> 01:20:51,131
we can put all of
this behind us.
1832
01:20:51,133 --> 01:20:53,449
What, you're just
gonna not say anything?
1833
01:20:55,538 --> 01:20:58,020
I just want this
nightmare to end.
1834
01:20:59,275 --> 01:21:01,276
The police are
not looking for you.
1835
01:21:01,278 --> 01:21:03,545
Nobody is looking for you.
1836
01:21:03,547 --> 01:21:05,280
You're a missing person.
1837
01:21:05,282 --> 01:21:07,881
Like a million other
missing persons.
1838
01:21:07,883 --> 01:21:08,817
Tammy, don't rile him up.
1839
01:21:08,819 --> 01:21:09,951
There's no point in that.
1840
01:21:09,953 --> 01:21:10,884
We'll stop and get
something to eat
1841
01:21:10,886 --> 01:21:12,019
and then we'll keep going.
1842
01:21:12,021 --> 01:21:15,070
(UPBEAT COUNTRY MUSIC)
1843
01:21:24,034 --> 01:21:24,866
VOICEOVER: So
that's a Freedom Burger
1844
01:21:24,868 --> 01:21:26,166
and a coke.
1845
01:21:26,168 --> 01:21:27,468
Yeah, go ahead.
1846
01:21:27,470 --> 01:21:29,536
Say something.
1847
01:21:29,538 --> 01:21:31,139
VOICEOVER: Next window please.
1848
01:21:31,141 --> 01:21:35,058
(UPBEAT COUNTRY MUSIC)
1849
01:21:39,382 --> 01:21:41,030
I don't like pickles.
1850
01:21:41,885 --> 01:21:44,133
You should have spoken up.
1851
01:21:45,288 --> 01:21:48,137
I didn't want to get
castrated over pickles.
1852
01:21:51,560 --> 01:21:53,126
You girls didn't get anything?
1853
01:21:53,128 --> 01:21:54,528
I don't eat flesh.
1854
01:21:54,530 --> 01:21:57,547
I don't eat nasty,
artery clogging junk food.
1855
01:21:58,435 --> 01:22:00,650
Oh, the princesses
don't eat junk food.
1856
01:22:03,038 --> 01:22:04,472
What makes you think I
wanted to eat this shit?
1857
01:22:04,474 --> 01:22:06,040
Because you're eating it.
1858
01:22:06,042 --> 01:22:07,140
I'm your prisoner.
1859
01:22:07,142 --> 01:22:08,423
I really don't have
a choice, do I?
1860
01:22:09,279 --> 01:22:10,344
What do you girls do?
1861
01:22:10,346 --> 01:22:11,946
Are you nurses too?
1862
01:22:11,948 --> 01:22:13,313
You don't need to
know anything about us
1863
01:22:13,315 --> 01:22:16,517
except we don't like people
who fuck over our friends.
1864
01:22:16,519 --> 01:22:18,066
That's bullshit!
1865
01:22:18,622 --> 01:22:20,455
The other night she
liked it just fine.
1866
01:22:20,457 --> 01:22:22,423
You're so full of it.
1867
01:22:22,425 --> 01:22:23,924
You know what
I've always noticed
1868
01:22:23,926 --> 01:22:26,227
about guys with big egos
and little dicks is that
1869
01:22:26,229 --> 01:22:28,578
it makes faking
it so much easier.
1870
01:22:30,166 --> 01:22:32,166
She wasn't faking it.
1871
01:22:32,168 --> 01:22:34,001
Oh really?
1872
01:22:34,003 --> 01:22:36,536
Did she sound something
kinda like this?
1873
01:22:36,538 --> 01:22:38,072
(MOANING)
1874
01:22:38,074 --> 01:22:39,273
Kind of like that?
1875
01:22:39,275 --> 01:22:42,477
(MOANING)
1876
01:22:42,479 --> 01:22:47,062
(HOWLING) (MOANING)
1877
01:22:50,252 --> 01:22:51,986
You girls think that's
what guys like to hear?
1878
01:22:51,988 --> 01:22:53,554
You fucking sound constipated.
1879
01:22:53,556 --> 01:22:55,071
Shut up!
1880
01:23:00,329 --> 01:23:02,229
You know if you
drive over state lines,
1881
01:23:02,231 --> 01:23:03,997
that's a federal offense.
1882
01:23:03,999 --> 01:23:05,166
Idiot.
1883
01:23:05,168 --> 01:23:07,316
Kidnapping is already
a federal offense.
1884
01:23:10,039 --> 01:23:11,039
And how long do you
think it will take
1885
01:23:11,041 --> 01:23:12,687
for the Feds to find you guys?
1886
01:23:13,543 --> 01:23:15,576
The warrior princess
1887
01:23:15,578 --> 01:23:18,561
and legally blond whose carpet
doesn't match the drapes.
1888
01:23:19,682 --> 01:23:22,616
Throw him out of the
car right fucking now!
1889
01:23:22,618 --> 01:23:23,584
Okay, okay, okay.
1890
01:23:23,586 --> 01:23:24,986
We are almost there.
1891
01:23:24,988 --> 01:23:26,334
Where?
1892
01:23:27,657 --> 01:23:29,290
To a landfill.
1893
01:23:29,292 --> 01:23:33,027
We're going to bury you
up to your neck in shit
1894
01:23:33,029 --> 01:23:34,610
where you will fit right in.
1895
01:23:40,436 --> 01:23:44,854
(DRAMATIC MUSIC) (SCREAMING)
1896
01:23:46,443 --> 01:23:48,308
What the fuck, you
almost killed us.
1897
01:23:48,310 --> 01:23:50,459
Hey, I'm not gonna
just let you kill me.
1898
01:23:52,349 --> 01:23:53,613
Tammy, don't.
1899
01:23:53,615 --> 01:23:55,316
What the fuck do you care?!
1900
01:23:55,318 --> 01:23:57,018
It's not just him.
1901
01:23:57,020 --> 01:23:58,452
I fucked up too.
1902
01:23:58,454 --> 01:23:59,454
Oh, God.
1903
01:23:59,456 --> 01:24:01,488
Okay, just get out of the car.
1904
01:24:01,490 --> 01:24:03,105
I'm gonna drive.
1905
01:24:23,712 --> 01:24:25,293
Evening ladies.
1906
01:24:28,385 --> 01:24:31,285
♪ Lord lift me up
1907
01:24:31,287 --> 01:24:35,089
♪ I've strayed far enough
1908
01:24:35,091 --> 01:24:38,526
♪ Gather my soul with love
1909
01:24:38,528 --> 01:24:46,500
♪ To make me whole
♪ Lord lift me up
1910
01:24:46,502 --> 01:24:48,635
♪ Grant me freedom ♪
1911
01:24:48,637 --> 01:24:50,505
Who are you?
1912
01:24:50,507 --> 01:24:53,140
♪ Freedom at last ♪
1913
01:24:53,142 --> 01:24:55,209
You're the Nana?
1914
01:24:55,211 --> 01:24:57,226
Of course, you're the Nana.
1915
01:25:02,819 --> 01:25:04,366
Where are the girls?
1916
01:25:07,757 --> 01:25:09,791
Now, I don't know
what Carly told you
1917
01:25:09,793 --> 01:25:11,526
but this is the truth.
1918
01:25:11,528 --> 01:25:15,295
All we did was go out
on a date, that's all.
1919
01:25:15,297 --> 01:25:17,231
Okay?
1920
01:25:17,233 --> 01:25:18,832
And even though we
fucked... I'm sorry.
1921
01:25:18,834 --> 01:25:21,134
That was a little
vulgar, I know.
1922
01:25:21,136 --> 01:25:23,670
But you know what, screw it!
1923
01:25:23,672 --> 01:25:24,753
Screw it!
1924
01:25:26,676 --> 01:25:28,491
I had no intentions.
1925
01:25:29,279 --> 01:25:30,210
We had a good time.
1926
01:25:30,212 --> 01:25:31,144
We went back to her place.
1927
01:25:31,146 --> 01:25:32,146
I didn't think we'd screw.
1928
01:25:32,148 --> 01:25:34,415
You know, I thought I'd
get like a blow job or...
1929
01:25:34,417 --> 01:25:36,232
Sorry, I didn't...
1930
01:25:36,852 --> 01:25:41,354
Look, your granddaughter thinks
1931
01:25:41,356 --> 01:25:44,291
I gave her some disease
like syphilis or something.
1932
01:25:44,293 --> 01:25:45,692
I'm not even sure you
can still get syphilis.
1933
01:25:45,694 --> 01:25:47,242
But it wasn't me.
1934
01:25:48,297 --> 01:25:49,644
And I wish I could...
1935
01:25:51,467 --> 01:25:53,300
Listen, I know you don't
want to hear anything
1936
01:25:53,302 --> 01:25:56,651
bad about your
granddaughter but Carly's...
1937
01:26:02,811 --> 01:26:05,360
You have got to let me go.
1938
01:26:48,391 --> 01:26:49,322
Where did you get that, Nana?
1939
01:26:49,324 --> 01:26:50,605
Why don't you put that down?
1940
01:26:51,528 --> 01:26:54,862
Okay, the whole poor burglar
1941
01:26:54,864 --> 01:26:56,563
getting shot by
the grandma thing,
1942
01:26:56,565 --> 01:26:58,232
it ain't gonna work
this time, okay?
1943
01:26:58,234 --> 01:26:59,466
So why don't you
just put that down
1944
01:26:59,468 --> 01:27:00,749
and I'm gonna go? (GUNSHOT)
1945
01:27:02,437 --> 01:27:03,771
You're fucking crazy.
1946
01:27:03,773 --> 01:27:05,788
Nana, what are you doing?
1947
01:27:06,642 --> 01:27:07,908
Give me the gun.
1948
01:27:07,910 --> 01:27:09,277
She doesn't even talk.
1949
01:27:09,279 --> 01:27:10,510
She just shoots.
1950
01:27:10,512 --> 01:27:11,961
Give me the gun.
1951
01:27:12,748 --> 01:27:15,416
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
1952
01:27:15,418 --> 01:27:16,550
(GUNSHOT)
1953
01:27:16,552 --> 01:27:17,966
Nana!
1954
01:27:28,965 --> 01:27:31,765
Yes, this is 363 Carob.
1955
01:27:31,767 --> 01:27:33,201
There's been a shooting.
1956
01:27:33,203 --> 01:27:34,535
Please send an ambulance.
1957
01:27:34,537 --> 01:27:35,368
It was an accident.
1958
01:27:35,370 --> 01:27:36,204
My grandmother.
1959
01:27:36,206 --> 01:27:37,438
Yeah, there's no pulse.
1960
01:27:37,440 --> 01:27:39,273
Yes, 363 Carob.
1961
01:27:39,275 --> 01:27:40,456
It's a house.
1962
01:27:41,977 --> 01:27:44,592
Nana, come on!
1963
01:27:45,315 --> 01:27:47,548
Why don't you
shoot me too, okay?
1964
01:27:47,550 --> 01:27:49,683
I don't care, just
fucking shoot me!
1965
01:27:49,685 --> 01:27:51,419
It wasn't my fault.
1966
01:27:51,421 --> 01:27:52,353
You win, okay?
1967
01:27:52,355 --> 01:27:54,287
You can fucking put me in jail.
1968
01:27:54,289 --> 01:27:55,656
I don't care.
1969
01:27:55,658 --> 01:27:57,791
Just put the gun down and
get the fuck out of here.
1970
01:27:57,793 --> 01:28:00,909
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
1971
01:28:20,315 --> 01:28:21,982
You've gotta be
fucking kidding me.
1972
01:28:21,984 --> 01:28:24,799
Mom, Dad, it didn't work.
1973
01:28:28,591 --> 01:28:29,724
(TASER SOUND)
1974
01:28:29,726 --> 01:28:31,658
Tammy, that's not
part of the plan.
1975
01:28:31,660 --> 01:28:32,842
(TASER SOUND)
1976
01:28:33,695 --> 01:28:35,329
Everybody calm down.
1977
01:28:35,331 --> 01:28:36,597
I'm sorry.
1978
01:28:36,599 --> 01:28:38,666
I told you I needed
more rehearsal.
1979
01:28:38,668 --> 01:28:39,733
It's all right, Nana.
1980
01:28:39,735 --> 01:28:41,035
Are we still going to breakfast?
1981
01:28:41,037 --> 01:28:42,269
We'll talk about
that later, Mom.
1982
01:28:42,271 --> 01:28:43,504
I told you this wouldn't work.
1983
01:28:43,506 --> 01:28:44,671
It was a good idea.
1984
01:28:44,673 --> 01:28:46,006
We'll just have to work
something else out.
1985
01:28:46,008 --> 01:28:47,308
What the fuck is there
to work out, you're crazy.
1986
01:28:47,310 --> 01:28:48,475
Even the old bitch is crazy.
1987
01:28:48,477 --> 01:28:49,676
Shut up!
1988
01:28:49,678 --> 01:28:51,012
No one calls my mother
a bitch, you asshole.
1989
01:28:51,014 --> 01:28:52,412
Hey, hey, hey, wait a minute!
1990
01:28:52,414 --> 01:28:53,347
Shut up!
1991
01:28:53,349 --> 01:28:53,914
Laurie, how'd you get that?
1992
01:28:53,916 --> 01:28:55,282
I hid it.
1993
01:28:55,284 --> 01:28:55,916
You hide everything
in the same place,
1994
01:28:55,918 --> 01:28:56,750
your underwear drawer.
1995
01:28:56,752 --> 01:28:57,585
Let me shoot him.
1996
01:28:57,587 --> 01:28:58,486
Mom, don't shoot him.
1997
01:28:58,488 --> 01:28:59,019
Just fucking shoot him.
1998
01:28:59,021 --> 01:28:59,987
Put it away.
1999
01:28:59,989 --> 01:29:00,821
Let's just tie him up again.
2000
01:29:00,823 --> 01:29:01,889
Nobody's tying me up.
2001
01:29:01,891 --> 01:29:03,023
Tell me that's another fake gun.
2002
01:29:03,025 --> 01:29:04,357
Shut up!
2003
01:29:04,359 --> 01:29:05,026
They'll never find
him in the desert.
2004
01:29:05,028 --> 01:29:05,960
Tammy, shut up.
2005
01:29:05,962 --> 01:29:06,760
We don't have any duct tape.
2006
01:29:06,762 --> 01:29:07,928
I got scotch tape.
2007
01:29:07,930 --> 01:29:09,530
Carly, tell me that's
another fake gun.
2008
01:29:09,532 --> 01:29:10,965
- Mom, give him the gun.
- Give me the gun.
2009
01:29:10,967 --> 01:29:11,999
(GUNSHOT)
2010
01:29:12,001 --> 01:29:14,950
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
2011
01:29:29,886 --> 01:29:33,836
(GUNSHOTS)
2012
01:29:52,909 --> 01:29:54,407
I'm sorry.
2013
01:29:54,409 --> 01:29:57,892
(SOFT MUSIC)
2014
01:30:03,819 --> 01:30:06,000
Well, that escalated quickly.
2015
01:30:06,788 --> 01:30:09,471
Definitely the worst
date I ever had.
2016
01:30:10,025 --> 01:30:11,739
Shit, I'm starving.
2017
01:30:13,428 --> 01:30:15,144
And I'm sure my car got towed.
2018
01:30:17,699 --> 01:30:20,216
Now I gotta change my
online dating profile.
2019
01:30:21,370 --> 01:30:25,587
Seeking someone smart and
sexy but not bat shit crazy.
2020
01:30:27,676 --> 01:30:30,091
Probably a good idea not
to lie anymore though.
2021
01:30:31,646 --> 01:30:34,581
Anybody asks me I'm just
gonna say right up front,
2022
01:30:34,583 --> 01:30:37,384
"Yep, it was me."
2023
01:30:37,386 --> 01:30:38,633
"I shot 'em all."
2024
01:30:40,989 --> 01:30:42,904
Actually, that's pretty macho.
2025
01:30:44,127 --> 01:30:46,174
Women do love macho and nuts.
2026
01:30:46,895 --> 01:30:49,597
(POLICE SIRENS WAILING)
2027
01:30:49,599 --> 01:30:50,812
Here they come.
2028
01:30:52,801 --> 01:30:54,082
What do I say?
2029
01:30:55,171 --> 01:30:56,651
The truth?
2030
01:30:57,539 --> 01:30:58,505
Fuck!
2031
01:30:58,507 --> 01:31:00,154
The truth just seems like a lie.
2032
01:31:02,412 --> 01:31:05,961
Maybe I'll just start
with the truth tomorrow.
2033
01:31:06,815 --> 01:31:10,565
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
2034
01:31:39,649 --> 01:31:40,915
Go for Josh.
2035
01:31:40,917 --> 01:31:42,215
Hey, Bro, it's Milo.
2036
01:31:42,217 --> 01:31:43,651
Milo, what the fuck, man.
2037
01:31:43,653 --> 01:31:44,818
We've been worried sick.
2038
01:31:44,820 --> 01:31:46,120
We've been trying to
call you for days.
2039
01:31:46,122 --> 01:31:47,921
Mom and Dad have the
police out looking for you.
2040
01:31:47,923 --> 01:31:50,857
Speaking of which, now's
not a very good time.
2041
01:31:50,859 --> 01:31:52,206
Hey, quick question.
2042
01:31:53,930 --> 01:31:57,197
Did you date a girl
named Carly Sagat?
2043
01:31:57,199 --> 01:31:58,747
About two years ago.
2044
01:31:59,668 --> 01:32:00,949
Brunette.
2045
01:32:02,204 --> 01:32:03,637
Cute laugh.
2046
01:32:03,639 --> 01:32:05,805
Yeah, yeah!
2047
01:32:05,807 --> 01:32:07,122
I remember her.
2048
01:32:08,176 --> 01:32:09,175
I mean it's not a
date if you're just
2049
01:32:09,177 --> 01:32:11,077
fucking though, right?
2050
01:32:11,079 --> 01:32:13,214
Anyway, I think that
girl gave me an STD.
2051
01:32:13,216 --> 01:32:14,696
Why?
2052
01:32:16,017 --> 01:32:17,900
Don't worry about it.
2053
01:32:25,160 --> 01:32:26,185
(CALM MUSIC)
2054
01:32:28,000 --> 01:32:38,000
Translation and subtitles by
PEPPER & LALASPAIN
*** SONG LIVES FOR EVER ***
135775
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