All language subtitles for iCarly.2021.S02E10.WEBRip.x264-ION10

Hey, Spence, how was
your date last night?

I hate
to tell you guys this,

turns out I did not match
with Zoe Saldana.

It was an old lady
named Gretel.

Oh, Spencer. How much money
did you give Gretel?

One briefcase.

Two briefcases.

You know, I did read
in The New Yorker

about a dating app
called "Word Bang."

You can only text the person.
There's no picture,

so the attraction
has to be cerebral.

I might give that a shot.

You did not read about that
in The New Yorker.

I told you about that.

I said I'll sign up!

Right after my date
with Eva Mendes.

She has two kids
with Ryan Gosling.

He's coming too.

Are you guys talking
about my birthday party?

Should I come back?

Oh, no.
Did you hear us planning

the bacchanal
at the sex dungeon?

That's what you wanted, right?

You're obsessed
with your birthday.

Uh, yeah. Because birthday
parties are the best.

Birthday cake
is the best food.

Birthday presents
are the best gifts,

and "Happy Birthday,"
the song,

straight banger.

Well, we weren't talking
about your party,

but don't worry.

Pearl's gonna get us
up to speed later,

and she's been
working on it nonstop.

You don't think she feels
too much pressure, do you?

Why? Because you keep
telling her

that the first birthday
in a relationship

determines whether the couple
will go the distance?

Nah, I'm sure
that barely registered.

Okay, okay. Maybe
I've been a little intense.

I just feel so good
about where things are

with me and Pearl,
and I know she is gonna nail it.

Oh, I'm sure she will.

You've been very clear
you want a murder mystery party.

So the theme
of the party is crows.

Maybe he
could've been clearer.

♪ I know you see ♪

♪ Somehow the world
will change for me ♪

♪ And be so wonderful ♪

♪ So wake up
the members of my nation ♪

♪ It's your time to be ♪

♪ There's no chance
unless you take one ♪

♪ And the time to see ♪

♪ The brighter side
of every situation ♪

♪ Some things
are meant to be ♪

♪ So give me your best
and leave the rest to me ♪

Everyone knows
it's no mystery

that a group of crows
is called a murder.

So, naturally,
he wants a party

all about
our fine-feathered friends.

Pearl, I-I don't think
that that's what he meant

when he said,
"Murder mystery."

Carly, I'm his girlfriend.

I think I know
what he means.

Devil's advocate,
there is a whole genre

of parties where people pretend
there's a human murder,

and then they role-play
and they wear costumes

and you have to figure out
who did it

that I happen to know
Freddie is obsessed with.

In addition
to his obsession with crows.

Devil's advocate,

I feel pretty good
about this crow idea.

And not just because
I already bought 400 fake birds

that aren't returnable
because I got them wet.

Well, double Devil's advocate,

Freddie seemed to want
a very specific kind of game

that would be perfect
and also is very different

from this and also
he sent us a website

with a bunch of kits
to choose from.

Oh. God, this is
so embarrassing.

Mm.

Okay, yeah, I guess
we should choose a kit.

But can we all agree
he really should've been clearer

about which kind
of murder he meant?

Mm-hmm. Every time
I'm watching the local news

and they talk about murder,
I'm like, "Where are the crows?"

Oh, this kit looks good.

"Duck, Duck, Goose:
Tag, You're Dead."

Uh-huh,
that's another bird idea.

Or, uh...
"Murder at the Disco."

You know, Freddie
loves disco music,

and we could wear
really fun '70s costumes.

It'll be perfect.

Disco? I didn't even know
Freddie liked music.

One time I put on
Imagine Dragons

and he
didn't even tap his foot.

You know...

Maybe you should
just plan the party.

Clearly I
don't know him at all.

No. No, no, no, no, no, no.

You-you do.

Harper and I are just going off
what he's saying with words.

Boring.

You're his girlfriend.

You guys have
an erotic connection

that we could
never understand.

We can do both ideas.

Oh, what about...
"Saturday Flight Fever:

Murder
at the Dis-Crow."

Mm.

Is it too late to change
my RSVP to maybe?

Foxy Brown.

And Cher... Wait, does she
have a last name?

I think it's Horowitz.

Okay, Harper,
all we have to do tonight

is make this the perfect
birthday party for Freddie,

and make sure he thinks
that Pearl planned it all.

It's funny how you say "we."

I'm serious.

This is important for Freddie,
but it's also important

for Pearl and Freddie
as a couple.

Now, I made
the perfect guest list.

I even got that old guy
that Freddie met

on the Reddit thread
about digestive issues.

Oh, my God.

We finally
get to meet Ronald?

Okay, David Bowie.

Ah? Oh! Whoa.

I bought these shoes when
I was dating that WNBA player,

then she dumped me
for buying these shoes.

I really relate
to Linda Blair

from The Exorcist.

Although she was possessed
by a demon

whilst I am possessed
by... love.

Let me tell you,
baking this cake

was no cabaret, old chum.

My granddaughter is a nightmare.

Cause she's from
The Exorcist?

I haven't seen it,
but the Wikipedia page

was so scary.

You're gonna love that cake.

We made it light and fluffy,

like my boyfriend
Derek Fox-Lubiner's hair.

We didn't do anything.

Somebody was too busy
on her phone to help me bake.

Oh, that's Derek.
He's messaging me

from the dolphin sound app.
It's called "Dolphone."

So you just send dolphin
sounds back and forth?

That is ridiculous.

In case you were ever
wondering when you became

an old person,
this is the moment.

All right. Listen,
you guys know how important

birthdays are to Freddie,
so if any of you

screw this
murder mystery up,

I swear on all your lives,

I will change the passwords
to all my streaming services.

You wouldn't.

Next week is
the Toledo House Flip finale.

Try me.
Mess around and find out.

Hi.

Hey, Pearl!

Ooh, what are you, uh...
old Freddie?

No. Richard Nixon.

Freddie loves Nixon.

Freddie loves Cynthia Nixon.

I know, it's weird because
he is such a Charlotte.

What's wrong?

Okay, Freddie is terrified
of Richard Nixon.

What do you mean?

He got locked in the gift shop
with all the masks

at the presidential library.

It was a whole thing.
- Oh, God.

What do I--?
What do I do?

Maybe say
you're Cynthia Nixon's dad?

Well, I brought crow dip.

And before you ask, no,
there aren't crows in it.

Oh...
Are there rats?

Because it tastes like what
I think rats would taste like.

And birthday boy
Sonny Bono here.

Uh, you guys look amazing.

Exorcist, Foxy Brown,
Liza Minelli,

David Bowie...

Hey! Sonny and Cher.
You and Carly match perfectly.

Yeah. How fun.

Yeah, how fun.

No!

Please tell me
you're Cynthia Nixon's dad.

- I'm... I'm--
- About to go change!

Yeah, Pearl and I
are gonna switch outfits

because there was some mix-up,
but the party's going great,

and Pearl came up
with everything.

You did. Thank you.
The disco theme is amazing.

I don't really get
the whole crow thing though.

Oh. Uh, they're--
They're 1970s crows.

Oh. Cool. Yeah.

Okay.

I still don't get it.

Heads up,
I'm peacing out early.

I got me
a date on Word Bang

that can only meet tonight,

and we all know the slipping off
without saying a word is

much kinder
than a heartfelt goodbye.

No way.
I also have a Word Bang date

and was planning
an Irish Goodbye.

Wait, is that offensive?

No, the Irish are fine.

And hopefully
so is my date.

He's a globe-trotting
bon vivant

with an expensive palate.

My date is a delightfully
witty bookworm.

And I find that hot
because I'm attracted to brains.

Also boobs,
thighs and butts.

Party back on track.

Ooh, you fit so nicely

into Fredward's
Saturday Night Fever costume.

Now, as soon as the rest
of the guests get here,

we can start the mystery.

Oh, this is everyone.

Freddie said he didn't want
to make a big deal of it.

That he didn't need
all the attention.

Oh, no.
He-he says that every year,

just to try to be humble.

He also says that he doesn't
want any gifts, but obviously--

He means that part.

Hey, looking good, ladies.

Hey, look at your suits.

You and Carly match
even better than before.

- Uh-huh.
- Mm.

Hey, uh, so when's everybody
else getting here?

Never.
I'm sorry, I didn't--

I didn't invite
anyone else,

because you wanted
the party to be intimate.

Good call, Pearl.

Wait.
So Ronald isn't coming?

No!

Spencer, if there are
only seven guests,

then two people
can't leave.

Okay. New plan.

We make a new birth certificate
that says his birthday

is next month, then we call
my friend Sully,

fake our own deaths,
and flee to the Maldives.

What about our dates?

We're way past that.

It's 1977.

The streets are
full of trash

and the people
ain't much cleaner.

We find ourselves
at a grimy discotheque

called Studio 55.

Police arrive to discover
there was a grisly murder.

Ooh, how grisly?

Very grisly.

All right, now it's time
to draw cards

to find out
which characters we all play.

I'm, "Claudia Skies,
a persnickety flight attendant

who's unlucky in love."

Don't know what that's like.

You'd probably also struggle
with my character,

"Anita Hug,
a loving granddaughter

who snuck into the club
to respect her elders."

Ooh, I'm... "DeDe Bustier,
a sexy secretary

ready to sleep--
Uh, nap her way to the top."

I'm... "Pablo Pi-queso,
a wealthy artist

turned restaurateur."

I don't understand
this character.

I-I don't know
how to play this.

Let's see. I'm...
"The detective,

Sergeant Bellbottoms,
whose brother is the victim."

Well, I'm going
to find out which one of you

sick freaks did this
to my brother... "Elton Don."

And I'm...
"The detective's wife."

Perfect.

"Your soulmate chemistry
with your husband

"cannot be denied.

"Note: You and your husband
could never be mistaken

for friends."

Uh, Pearl,
why don't we just switch?

- It's fine.
- It only makes sense...

- I don't want to.
- Come on.

No, I can't switch
because I'm the murderer!

Whoa! Come on!

Sorry. I...

What do we do now?
The murder mystery is over.

I'm sorry, Freddie.

I guess that means
the party is over too.

Do you wanna share an Uber?

Jennifer R will
be out front in three.

What are you talking about?

You think a murder mystery party
is all about the murder mystery?

It's right there
in the name, so...

But... Pearl and I have
so many more things planned.

- We do?
- You do?

Uh, yeah! You tell him.

Oh. Uh, she must mean
my riff

on "Pin the tail
on the donkey,"

only instead
of a donkey, it's--

- A crow?
- Oh, you've played it?

Hey. Hey. Where do you two
think you're--

You're trying to do
an Irish Goodbye.

Wait, is that offensive?

The Irish are fine.

You know how important
this party is

to Freddie's relationship
with Pearl.

Then he of all people
should know

how important this date is
to my relationship

with a woman
I've never met.

We want to be here
for Freddie,

and we know how hard you worked
on this, but face it,

Freddie's mama recapping
an episode of Yellowstone

was the highlight of the night.

Well-- There's also cake
and a disco playlist

and drinks
that need to happen.

Fine. We will stay
for cake and dancing

and, okay,
we'll drink heavily,

but after that
we are out of here.

Hey, hey, hey! I am famished.
Who wants cake?

I'll get the candles.

Uh-uh. No time.
Everybody, sing.

Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday-- *
- You know what?

I have always thought
that song was too slow.

Happy birthday, dear Freddie ♪

Happy birthday to you ♪

Spencer, give me the cake.
You're gonna drop it.

It's colder
than I expected.

Is there at least
some pudding in the fridge?

I ate it.

No. Uh...
Millicent and your mom

can just go bake you
a whole new cake.

Once again, the women
take on the emotional labor.

You go make a cake
for your son.

Huh.

Uh, now...
everybody dance

to this awesome playlist
that Pearl obviously made.

I said everybody!

- We're gonna die alone.
- Mm-hmm.

That's too many eggs.

Uh-huh.

You know, I flushed
your fish Donut down the toilet.

- Uh-huh.
- Ugh.

Will you stop
flipping with Derek?

Grandma, I pray that
one day you find someone

as kind and dope as Derek,

but until then,
you just don't understand.

Oh. I understand
that you are going

to put that phone down
and help me bake.

Millicent,
do not flip that flipper.

Don't you flip.

Ugh!

Look, I'm sorry
if I'm focused

on the best thing
in my life that will ever be

and not some dumb cake
with way too many eggs in it.

But Derek's going to flip me
back right... now.

Now.

Now.

It's cold in the shade,
isn't it?

Hey!

Hey!

I never led
a conga line before.

I can lead y'all
anywhere I wanna go.

I am mad with power!

Where are Millicent
and Mrs. B with that cake?

There's no way
we're gonna make it

out of here
in time for our dates.

I think we're gonna
have to cancel.

Let me just make sure my message
is appropriately delicate

and respectful
of their feelings.

Same.

- And...
- Sent.

Wow. What a coincidence.

Wait, no.
Dear God, no.

Don't tell me
your name on the app is--

Gulliver Diphthong!

Wow, another coinci-- Oh!

That means your name
on the app is--

Virginia Salisbury.

You're not ranked third
in the state in women's parkour.

And you don't "occasionally"
sing backup for Anita Baker.

She is retired.

Beep!

You know what that is, Pearl?

Party just flatlined.

'Cause we killed it!

Carly, I almost ruined
my boyfriend's birthday.

I didn't kill it.
You did.

None of that matters.
I mean, look at Freddie.

This whole night was
about showing

how well I know
my boyfriend,

except it wasn't,
'cause I don't.

You knew he liked
all this stuff, not me.

You probably even knew
he wouldn't like the crow dip.

No one could have
predicted that.

Carly, this is your party.

I mean, I'm even wearing
your clothes.

I just... I-I need some air.
Will you cover for me?

No, you can't leave.
You can have those clothes.

They're yours.
Maybe I can borrow them

sometime,
I love your style.

No.

Consider this
my Irish Goodbye.

Fare thee well.

Wait, that's not
even how that works.

Carly, this party
is so fun.

Yeah. Pearl nailed it.

She knows you, dude.

She... knows... you...

so... well...

inside...
and... out.

Are you buffering?
What's happening?

Where's Pearl?
Did she leave?

That would ruin everything.
Don't tell me she left.

I will not tell you that.

So where is she?

Technically, she is gone.

That I will tell you.

- Uh...
- But...

only because
we're shifting

to the second phase
of your mystery party:

Case of the missing Pearl.

Dun, dun, dun! ♪

That's right,
Detective Bellbottoms.

There's a missing Pearl
and it's up to you...

and all of us
to find her.

You didn't invent
the rumba.

Your uncle
is not Don Cheadle!

You've never been knighted!

You don't play harmonica
in a grindcore band!

So is this mystery
a part of the other one or...?

I just need to know if I still
have a murdered brother.

Am I in mourning
when I look for Pearl?

Everything's connected.

Hmm, I wonder where she went...
and why.

Actually, don't wonder why.

Just find her.

Uh, maybe she's behind
the kitchen counter

or under the coffee table.

Well, I can see
from where we're standing

she's not
under the coffee table.

You know, this is
starting to feel

a lot more like hide-and-seek
than a real mystery.

No. There are clues
everywhere. Everywhere.

Ooh, okay.
I get it.

This is fun.
Uh, the crows.

I knew they weren't
completely pointless.

Crows are birds.
- Yes.

And birds like to fly...

You are burning hot.

...into the studio
where Spencer

always leaves
the window open.

I'm trying to see if I can
spot Frasier's apartment.

It is all connected.

To the studio.
We'll go how the crow flies.

I am having
the time of my life!

How does that guy have
a girlfriend and we don't?

You get flipped,
and you flip back.

It's a simple concept.

Is our society
completely falling apart?

Can your grandma give
you a little bit of advice?

Sure.

You can't let
your relationship

become your whole life.

Take Lewbert and me.

Ah, Lewbie.
The one that got away,

came back, seduced me
while trying to defraud Carly

of millions,
then got away again.

You're losing
the thread, Granny.

You have to remember,

your happiness or sadness
is only owned by you.

Thanks, Grandma B.
You're old.

But you say cool stuff.

It's Derek!

Aww, he says sorry,
he was helping his grandpa

open a jar of peanut butter.

To be a fly on the wall
for that gun show.

I have to write him back.

Oh.

Eh, he can wait till after
we frost the cake.

Let him sweat it out
a little bit.

Oh, my gosh.
He just started using deodorant,

and it's lovely.

It seems more
like a frittata.

Do we have time
to bake another?

Sure we have the time...
but do we have the desire?

I missed us.

She's not anywhere.
She's not in the studio.

She's not under Spencer's bed.

Or in that weird cage above it.

Fine. She left.
I'm sorry, Freddie.

How could
you let her leave?

Oh, so now Pearl being here
is my responsibility too?

You know,
I can't do everything.

What are you talking about?

Pearl wanted to throw you
a wet crow party,

and I've been bending
over backwards all night

to try to give you a birthday
you might actually like.

Yeah.

I think
that crow just moved.

You know, a real one could've
flown in here at any time.

We would never know.

Look, Freddie, I knew
you weren't gonna like

what Pearl had planned
so I just took over.

All I wanted to do
was make you happy.

I appreciate that, Carly,
but it's not fair.

Pearl is never going to know me
as well as you do.

Oh, Pearl,
I'm sorry. I--

No, no. It's okay, Freddie.
You're right.

I'm never going to know you
as well as Carly does,

because you and Carly are
clearly in love with each other.

Happy birthday to you ♪

Cha, cha, cha.

Happy birthday to you ♪

Cha, cha, cha.

♪ Happy birthday,
dear Freddie ♪

Happy birthday to you ♪

Cha, cha, cha?

Ooh!

He hates these cans.