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1
00:00:04,905 --> 00:00:06,407
Okay.
2
00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:10,078
Carly, it means so much to me
that you agreed
3
00:00:10,178 --> 00:00:11,645
to go to my hospital prom.
4
00:00:12,946 --> 00:00:16,384
I'm honored. I've never been
to a prom at a hospital before.
5
00:00:16,484 --> 00:00:18,552
But is it cool if I sneak away
at some point
6
00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:21,055
and have a doctor look
at my jacked-up elbows?
7
00:00:21,155 --> 00:00:23,091
Hey, guys, we should
probably hit the road,
8
00:00:23,191 --> 00:00:26,527
but I'm having trouble finding
the hospital on my GPS.
9
00:00:26,627 --> 00:00:28,896
Yeah, it's not coming up
on my phone, either.
10
00:00:31,465 --> 00:00:33,601
I can't believe you fell for it.
11
00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:36,637
Fell for what?
12
00:00:36,737 --> 00:00:39,807
You've been pranked
by the Prank Prince!
13
00:00:39,907 --> 00:00:42,410
There's cameras everywhere.
14
00:00:42,510 --> 00:00:44,512
Excuse me, Carly.
15
00:00:45,313 --> 00:00:47,581
So, we're not going to
Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital?
16
00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:49,783
That's the hospital
from Grey's Anatomy!
17
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:52,253
Durf.
18
00:00:52,353 --> 00:00:54,122
So this is what you do?
19
00:00:54,222 --> 00:00:57,325
You manipulate nice people
into doing nice things,
20
00:00:57,425 --> 00:00:58,892
and then you make fun of them?
21
00:00:58,992 --> 00:01:00,761
Yarp. It's hilarious.
22
00:01:00,861 --> 00:01:03,631
Oh, man, I'm glad you're not
one of those girls
23
00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:06,567
that gets angry at stuff.
Ugh, those are the worst!
24
00:01:07,168 --> 00:01:08,702
Why would I be angry?
25
00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:13,341
Now I have a $700
hot pink satin dress
26
00:01:13,441 --> 00:01:15,343
I'm never gonna wear again.
27
00:01:15,443 --> 00:01:17,010
Prank selfie.
28
00:01:17,111 --> 00:01:19,447
Say "hilarious." Pffft!
29
00:01:19,547 --> 00:01:22,283
Hilarious. Yay.
30
00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:25,119
* I know *
31
00:01:25,219 --> 00:01:26,754
* You see *
32
00:01:26,854 --> 00:01:28,922
* Somehow the world
will change for me *
33
00:01:29,022 --> 00:01:31,992
* And be so wonderful *
34
00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:35,763
* So wake up
the members of my nation *
35
00:01:35,863 --> 00:01:37,965
* It's your time to be *
36
00:01:38,065 --> 00:01:41,001
* There's no chance
unless you take one *
37
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:43,704
* And the time to see
the brighter side *
38
00:01:43,804 --> 00:01:46,974
* Of every situation *
39
00:01:47,074 --> 00:01:48,942
* Some things are meant to be *
40
00:01:49,042 --> 00:01:52,546
* So give your best
and leave the rest to me. *
41
00:01:56,550 --> 00:01:58,552
I cannot believe
what that fool did to you.
42
00:01:58,652 --> 00:02:02,356
Oh, the prom fake-out?
Yeah, isn't it hilarious?
43
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:05,159
No, it's infuriating.
44
00:02:05,259 --> 00:02:06,760
Immediately after I watched it,
45
00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:09,263
I created a fake online profile
so we could catfish him.
46
00:02:11,064 --> 00:02:12,733
Meet Lakeisha.
47
00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:15,169
She's a young ingenue
hoping to strike it big
48
00:02:15,269 --> 00:02:18,406
on the burgeoning
Seattle jazz scene.
49
00:02:18,506 --> 00:02:20,608
Skoobidy, bup, bup, bitch.
50
00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:23,577
Harper, calm down.
51
00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:25,679
That prank got me
a lot of followers.
52
00:02:25,779 --> 00:02:27,415
And Chris and I are
on each other's
53
00:02:27,515 --> 00:02:29,049
close friends maps now.
54
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,084
He's buying
illegal fireworks in Vancouver
55
00:02:31,185 --> 00:02:34,087
- as we speak.
- Oh, my God. So cool.
56
00:02:34,188 --> 00:02:35,989
Girl, I don't care!
57
00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:38,559
You need to tell him
to go to hell and block him.
58
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:41,929
No. I will not choose violence.
59
00:02:42,730 --> 00:02:44,365
Then why does it look
like you're murdering
60
00:02:44,465 --> 00:02:46,166
that pillow you're knitting?
61
00:02:46,267 --> 00:02:48,936
How many times do I have to
tell you this is crocheting?
62
00:02:49,036 --> 00:02:50,938
I even crocheted you
that scarf that says,
63
00:02:51,038 --> 00:02:53,006
"Crocheting and knitting
are two different things!"
64
00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:56,076
Yeah, you don't seem
angry at all.
65
00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:58,312
Okay, you're right.
66
00:02:58,412 --> 00:02:59,780
But I'm dealing with it.
67
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:03,517
Good! Because keeping it
bottled up isn't healthy.
68
00:03:03,617 --> 00:03:05,219
Actually, it is.
69
00:03:05,319 --> 00:03:09,323
According to certified
joy-ologist Sunny Johnson.
70
00:03:09,423 --> 00:03:11,592
Joy-ologist?
71
00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,394
So an influencer who listened
to one episode
72
00:03:13,494 --> 00:03:16,530
of a Goop meditation podcast,
now she thinks she a doctor?
73
00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:19,700
Oh, she listened
to all the episodes.
74
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,102
If anyone knows how to deal
with anger, it's her.
75
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:24,505
And she's coming over
to drink soft seltzer
76
00:03:24,605 --> 00:03:26,307
and give me advice
she only gives people
77
00:03:26,407 --> 00:03:27,941
at Patreon level five.
78
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:31,379
We are so close to you
joining another cult.
79
00:03:32,913 --> 00:03:34,515
Who's feeling bubbly?
80
00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:35,649
Sunny!
81
00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:38,085
Sunny Johnson, PhD.
82
00:03:38,185 --> 00:03:40,354
That stands for
"pretty happy, dude."
83
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:45,125
Oh, I'm Harper Bettencourt,
IDGAF.
84
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:50,097
And that stands for
"I dance, gather and forage."
85
00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:52,533
You guys are a hoot!
86
00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:56,770
So, Carly, are you ready to deal
with your anger Sunny style?
87
00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:58,506
Yes! Oh.
88
00:03:58,606 --> 00:04:00,708
So, what is Sunny style?
89
00:04:00,808 --> 00:04:03,511
When you feel angry,
I always say,
90
00:04:03,611 --> 00:04:05,446
"Girl, hit something!"
91
00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:07,548
As in hit the gym
and work it out.
92
00:04:07,648 --> 00:04:09,082
Hit the grill and cook it out.
93
00:04:09,182 --> 00:04:13,887
Hit the bar and drink
until you feel invincible.
94
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,591
That sounds incredible.
95
00:04:17,691 --> 00:04:20,561
That sounds like alcoholism.
96
00:04:22,463 --> 00:04:23,964
Have you ever thought about...
97
00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:27,100
I don't know, maybe talking
to the person directly?
98
00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,603
You are such a hoot!
99
00:04:29,703 --> 00:04:31,171
You know, I think I get it.
100
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,006
We're influencers.
101
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:35,242
And our followers
want authenticity,
102
00:04:35,343 --> 00:04:37,445
so we curate
a positive version of that.
103
00:04:37,545 --> 00:04:39,313
Oh, so you lie.
104
00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:42,015
You are such a--
105
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:45,252
If you call me a hoot
one more time...
106
00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:50,023
She seems nice.
107
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:52,192
* *
108
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:55,195
Ugh!
109
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:57,565
I cannot believe
this is happening to me.
110
00:04:57,665 --> 00:05:00,468
I don't want to talk about it,
so don't bother asking.
111
00:05:00,568 --> 00:05:02,302
- I won't.
- What's going on?
112
00:05:02,403 --> 00:05:04,338
Finally. Thank you!
113
00:05:05,238 --> 00:05:06,607
This is a confusing age.
114
00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:08,542
I got partnered
with Derek Fox-Lubiner
115
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,043
for my English project.
116
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:12,480
Derek Fox-Lubiner?
The coolest guy in school?
117
00:05:12,580 --> 00:05:16,116
- This is a disaster!
- What? Why? Millicent's cool.
118
00:05:16,216 --> 00:05:18,185
He's gonna make her
do all the work
119
00:05:18,285 --> 00:05:19,920
while he's off
playing freeze tag
120
00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:21,489
with the rest
of the popular kids.
121
00:05:21,589 --> 00:05:22,890
That was always my move.
122
00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:24,858
Okay.
Well, I'll call your teacher
123
00:05:24,958 --> 00:05:26,560
and see if I can get you
a different partner.
124
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:29,497
Are you trying
to destroy me? No!
125
00:05:29,597 --> 00:05:31,231
Real confusing age.
126
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,767
Hey, m'dudes.
127
00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:37,371
Oh, whoa, M&M, new kicks?
I like.
128
00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:40,841
Oh, you like?
Well, I like that you like.
129
00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:43,911
Do all the kids at school
call you M&M?
130
00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:46,847
No, just D-money. And I'm
the only one who calls him that.
131
00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:49,950
Oh. Well, what are you guys
working on, D-money?
132
00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:52,285
I'm gonna throw this one to M&M.
133
00:05:52,386 --> 00:05:55,723
Why? You got a freeze tag
game to get to?
134
00:05:55,823 --> 00:05:58,158
- What's freeze tag?
- I don't know.
135
00:05:58,258 --> 00:06:00,828
Something stupid
Freddie keeps bringing up.
136
00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:04,231
The project is called
"Page to Plate."
137
00:06:04,331 --> 00:06:07,768
We have to cook a meal
based on the 1691 Irish tragedy,
138
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,503
"A Christmas Pie for Emily."
139
00:06:09,603 --> 00:06:12,440
Yeah, 'cause you know
how in books there's pages
140
00:06:12,540 --> 00:06:14,442
and in food there's plates?
141
00:06:14,542 --> 00:06:15,843
- Oh.
- Yeah, I got that.
142
00:06:15,943 --> 00:06:17,911
Yeah, me too.
143
00:06:18,011 --> 00:06:20,080
And then we get
to write a report.
144
00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:22,349
Millicent is so good at reports.
145
00:06:22,450 --> 00:06:26,019
OMG, stop it, I'm dead.
146
00:06:27,821 --> 00:06:30,190
- I'll go find a table.
- 'Kay.
147
00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,929
Well, now I see
why you were so nervous
148
00:06:36,029 --> 00:06:37,765
to be paired with Derek.
149
00:06:37,865 --> 00:06:39,467
You like him.
150
00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:43,537
Oh, my little girl's
becoming a little woman.
151
00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:45,539
And here comes a little tear.
152
00:06:45,639 --> 00:06:47,040
You're way too young
to have a crush,
153
00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:49,510
so I forbid it, crush over.
Problem solved.
154
00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:51,912
Hey, not-the-father, calm down.
155
00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:53,346
Let's just let the wonder
156
00:06:53,447 --> 00:06:55,583
of Millicent's first crush
unfold naturally.
157
00:06:55,683 --> 00:06:58,886
"First." Yeah.
We'll go with that.
158
00:07:00,287 --> 00:07:03,123
* *
159
00:07:08,496 --> 00:07:11,899
Nice day of not dealing with
the root cause of your feelings?
160
00:07:11,999 --> 00:07:14,367
Yes. Thank you for asking.
161
00:07:15,068 --> 00:07:17,871
We hit the mall, the bar,
the gym.
162
00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:19,740
Kind of wish we swapped
the order.
163
00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:22,976
I'm really sorry I threw up
on you during Hot Bitch Yoga.
164
00:07:24,612 --> 00:07:26,413
Oh, I saw your Instagram.
165
00:07:26,514 --> 00:07:28,882
And it seems like
it was definitely about
166
00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:30,751
addressing your feelings
167
00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:32,753
and not at all
about making peace signs
168
00:07:32,853 --> 00:07:34,187
and sticking your tongue out
169
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:36,590
as if the picture
was taken by mistake.
170
00:07:37,357 --> 00:07:40,628
I feel so refreshed
and just free of anger.
171
00:07:40,728 --> 00:07:42,295
Carly, you're
rage-knitting again.
172
00:07:42,395 --> 00:07:44,431
It's rage-crocheting!
173
00:07:45,899 --> 00:07:47,868
Oh, my God.
174
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:50,771
Sunny, what do I do?
It's still in me.
175
00:07:50,871 --> 00:07:53,473
Don't worry, Carly.
It's going to be okay.
176
00:07:53,574 --> 00:07:56,243
There's still one more thing
we can hit.
177
00:07:58,912 --> 00:08:00,714
Each other.
178
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:03,316
Ladies, welcome...
179
00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:07,120
...to Influencer Fight Club.
180
00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:16,530
I don't know how yet,
but this feels racist.
181
00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:18,231
* *
182
00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:25,238
* *
183
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:26,940
Influencer Fight Club
is basically
184
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:28,942
"Girl, hit something"
on steroids.
185
00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:30,978
Which, by the way,
do not mix well
186
00:08:31,078 --> 00:08:33,814
with the diarrhea tea
that sponsors me.
187
00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:37,751
Is this a squid game?
188
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:41,388
No. This is a safe place
for us nice influencers
189
00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:44,057
to get our anger out in private.
190
00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:47,394
And you're part of it now.
191
00:08:47,494 --> 00:08:50,397
Aw. You think I'm nice?
192
00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:53,333
Let me guess, the first rule
about Fight Club
193
00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:55,468
is you do not talk
about Fight Club.
194
00:08:55,569 --> 00:08:58,972
No. That's just
an incredibly obvious given.
195
00:09:00,073 --> 00:09:01,675
The first rule is
protect the face.
196
00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:04,077
These babies
are our moneymakers.
197
00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:08,616
I gotta go.
The diarrhea tea's kicking in.
198
00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:15,723
If you get in that ring, Carly,
two words: throat punch.
199
00:09:15,823 --> 00:09:17,257
Are you actually suggesting
200
00:09:17,357 --> 00:09:18,859
that I stay here
and I fight someone?
201
00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:20,661
Oh, it's kind of like
kickboxing,
202
00:09:20,761 --> 00:09:22,229
and I do that every week.
203
00:09:22,329 --> 00:09:24,765
Plus, it might actually help you
get out your anger.
204
00:09:24,865 --> 00:09:28,468
Harper, nobody thinks
I can fight.
205
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:31,504
The Army told me,
"Nah, we're good."
206
00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:34,708
* *
207
00:09:36,276 --> 00:09:40,147
Oh, look. A Christmas pie recipe
that takes less than five hours.
208
00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:42,415
I wouldn't mind spending
five hours with you.
209
00:09:42,515 --> 00:09:44,384
- Derek.
- What?
210
00:09:44,484 --> 00:09:46,186
I was just saying your name.
211
00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:49,122
Ha. Nice. I'm gonna go pee.
212
00:09:49,222 --> 00:09:50,557
Nice.
213
00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:56,764
Derek Fox-Lubiner
likes Millicent!
214
00:09:56,864 --> 00:09:58,966
I wonder if the restaurant
in the Space Needle is available
215
00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:01,234
for a Christmas Eve wedding
in 2042.
216
00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:04,271
Whoa, lean back, Fat Joe.
217
00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:06,774
Sure, it seems like
Derek is reciprocating
218
00:10:06,874 --> 00:10:08,308
Millicent's feelings,
but don't you think
219
00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:09,476
that's a little convenient?
220
00:10:09,576 --> 00:10:10,577
Kid's up to something.
221
00:10:10,678 --> 00:10:12,680
This is not good, guys.
222
00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:15,448
I'm trying to focus
on my English project,
223
00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:17,851
but all I want to do
is listen to Adele
224
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:20,353
and think
about D-money on a Jet Ski.
225
00:10:20,888 --> 00:10:22,622
I'm gonna go make you
some oolong tea.
226
00:10:22,723 --> 00:10:25,893
It's perfect for when
you're longing for someone.
227
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,162
I can't talk right now.
228
00:10:29,262 --> 00:10:30,964
Okay, fine, Mom, you were right.
229
00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:32,700
I just had to be nice,
and now she does
230
00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:34,167
whatever I say.
231
00:10:35,602 --> 00:10:37,104
Spencer!
You were right about Derek!
232
00:10:37,204 --> 00:10:39,973
He uses jojoba oil
to get that hair volume?
233
00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:41,474
No. Do--
234
00:10:41,574 --> 00:10:43,010
He's just being nice
to Millicent
235
00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:44,878
to get her to do
whatever he says.
236
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:47,681
I invited that boy
into our family.
237
00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:51,618
J'ai reçu ce garçon
dans notre famille.
238
00:10:51,719 --> 00:10:54,621
That means the same thing.
I'm just learning French.
239
00:10:54,722 --> 00:10:56,323
We should split the work.
240
00:10:56,423 --> 00:10:58,358
Maybe one of us does the report,
and the other does the pie?
241
00:10:58,458 --> 00:11:01,795
You're so smart and talented.
I wish we had two of you.
242
00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:03,964
Wish granted. I'll do both.
243
00:11:04,064 --> 00:11:05,398
Lame!
244
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:06,934
Lame means cool now.
245
00:11:07,835 --> 00:11:09,336
We have to tell her.
246
00:11:09,436 --> 00:11:11,772
Let me do it so I can gloat
about being right.
247
00:11:11,872 --> 00:11:14,708
No, we can't break her heart.
248
00:11:14,808 --> 00:11:17,277
What if we convince her
not to like Derek?
249
00:11:20,613 --> 00:11:22,615
Sorry,
I can officially sleep
250
00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:24,852
with my eyes open now.
Did you say something?
251
00:11:26,987 --> 00:11:28,989
* *
252
00:11:31,759 --> 00:11:33,626
If we sneak out of here,
do you think they'll notice?
253
00:11:33,727 --> 00:11:35,528
Unfortunately, they will.
254
00:11:35,628 --> 00:11:37,297
My presence in a room
is unmissable.
255
00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:41,468
But, look, let's just take a lap
and get a lay of the land.
256
00:11:41,568 --> 00:11:43,804
Carly! I'm Kelly.
257
00:11:43,904 --> 00:11:46,506
I am such a fan.
258
00:11:46,606 --> 00:11:48,408
I really hope I get
to fight you.
259
00:11:48,508 --> 00:11:51,879
It would just be an honor
to wipe the floor with your ass.
260
00:11:52,645 --> 00:11:54,647
The honor would be my ass's.
261
00:11:54,748 --> 00:11:56,216
Don't worry.
262
00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:57,918
Most people don't even need
both their kidneys.
263
00:11:58,018 --> 00:11:59,152
I'm Elena.
264
00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:01,721
You're the girl
who takes topless photos
265
00:12:01,822 --> 00:12:03,390
in front of national landmarks.
266
00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:06,059
That's me. Mammifest Chestiny.
267
00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:09,662
And wait, you the girl
who takes bottomless photos
268
00:12:09,763 --> 00:12:11,398
in front of war memorials.
269
00:12:11,498 --> 00:12:14,501
Yep. Purple Heart, White Cheeks.
270
00:12:14,601 --> 00:12:17,070
People online are always
pitting us against each other.
271
00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:20,473
They're trying to make us like
the Nicki Minaj and Cardi B
272
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,509
of tasteful patriotic nudity.
273
00:12:22,609 --> 00:12:26,146
Yeah. And luckily, when I want
to throttle the neck
274
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:28,415
of every commenter
who criticizes us,
275
00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:31,651
I can come here and just,
you know, smack somebody around.
276
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:34,687
And then I feel better.
Self-care.
277
00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:37,724
Or you could just limit
your comments.
278
00:12:37,825 --> 00:12:39,226
Or even not read 'em.
279
00:12:39,326 --> 00:12:42,229
Nah, we'd rather come here
and fight it out.
280
00:12:42,329 --> 00:12:45,098
Most people don't even need
both their kidneys.
281
00:12:45,632 --> 00:12:46,834
You already said that.
282
00:12:46,934 --> 00:12:49,302
Well, obviously,
it bears repeating.
283
00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:50,871
Maybe we should leave.
284
00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:53,006
The one in the far corner
with the wide-set eyes
285
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:54,942
has been mad-dogging my liver,
286
00:12:55,042 --> 00:12:57,811
and last time I checked,
I need both the ones I got.
287
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:00,948
Where do you two
think you're going?
288
00:13:01,048 --> 00:13:02,582
Oh, um...
289
00:13:02,682 --> 00:13:04,151
If it's your first night
at Fight Club,
290
00:13:04,251 --> 00:13:05,318
you have to fight.
291
00:13:05,418 --> 00:13:08,688
Have to, as in must to?
292
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:11,324
You've seen
Influencer Fight Club.
293
00:13:11,424 --> 00:13:13,460
To make sure you won't
tell anyone about it,
294
00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:15,062
you must become one of us.
295
00:13:15,162 --> 00:13:16,897
Wait, so you're blackmailing me?
296
00:13:16,997 --> 00:13:20,367
Uhm, it's African
American-mailing. And yes.
297
00:13:22,335 --> 00:13:24,604
I told you this place
was racist.
298
00:13:24,704 --> 00:13:27,407
* *
299
00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:31,044
Hey. Hey!
300
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:33,813
Okay, look, we gotta be brutal
and honest,
301
00:13:33,914 --> 00:13:35,648
like an Estonian mother.
302
00:13:35,748 --> 00:13:37,050
No. No, this is gonna work.
303
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:38,818
I can convince Millicent
not to like Derek.
304
00:13:38,919 --> 00:13:41,221
She is not gonna take
your advice on romance.
305
00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:43,656
You haven't had
a girlfriend in years.
306
00:13:43,756 --> 00:13:45,926
I literally have
a girlfriend right now.
307
00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:48,795
No, I don't think that's right.
308
00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:54,034
Hey. How's the project going,
Milli Vanill'?
309
00:13:54,134 --> 00:13:56,736
Great! I suggested
we dress up like characters
310
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:59,639
from the book,
and Derek said, "Lame."
311
00:13:59,739 --> 00:14:01,008
Lame means cool now.
312
00:14:02,209 --> 00:14:04,144
So I gotta get
a costume together.
313
00:14:04,244 --> 00:14:05,845
It's gonna be like a date,
but schoolwork.
314
00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:07,547
So a fun date.
315
00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:10,150
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Check out
this app I just downloaded.
316
00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:12,185
It shows you with one hundred
percent accuracy
317
00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:14,187
what you're going to look like
when you get older.
318
00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:17,357
I couldn't help myself
and I uploaded Derek's picture.
319
00:14:19,126 --> 00:14:21,628
- Woof. Am I right?
- Aw.
320
00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:24,497
Does this mean you think
we're gonna grow old together?
321
00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:26,366
Do me next!
322
00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:31,404
Well, that failed.
Time for the Estonian approach.
323
00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:33,706
I'm gonna need an egg.
Preferably pheasant.
324
00:14:33,806 --> 00:14:35,608
Duck will do.
325
00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:38,711
No, let me--let me break it
to her.
326
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,848
Hey, Millicent...
327
00:14:41,949 --> 00:14:43,383
I gotta tell you something.
328
00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:45,785
I overheard Derek
telling his mother that he was
329
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:48,922
just being nice to you to get
you to do whatever he says.
330
00:14:49,022 --> 00:14:50,590
We thought you should know.
331
00:14:50,690 --> 00:14:52,859
I thought you should know
earlier. I'm the hero here.
332
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:55,362
Why the heck would I
want to know?
333
00:14:55,462 --> 00:14:57,097
You've ruined my life!
334
00:14:57,197 --> 00:14:59,399
Now I have to go scratch out
our initials
335
00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:01,201
from a lot of trees.
336
00:15:02,469 --> 00:15:04,037
* *
337
00:15:09,642 --> 00:15:11,278
You got this, Carly Shay.
338
00:15:11,378 --> 00:15:14,314
And if you don't, you can
catch up on TV in the hospital.
339
00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:17,750
Come on, girl. Hit something!
340
00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:19,586
But again, not the face.
341
00:15:19,686 --> 00:15:22,022
I'm rooting for you, Carly!
I got a hundred on Sunny,
342
00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:23,856
but I'm rooting for you!
343
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:28,295
Okay, here we go.
344
00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:30,830
Totally hitting you.
345
00:15:31,898 --> 00:15:34,334
Definitely gonna hit you.
346
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:36,369
Am I doing it?
347
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:39,739
Okay, let's make that
$200 on Sunny.
348
00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:44,577
What are you two laughing at?
349
00:15:44,677 --> 00:15:46,879
Can't you see I'm fighting
for my life in here?
350
00:15:46,980 --> 00:15:49,082
Carly, this is, like,
the funniest video
351
00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:51,951
you've ever been in. So good.
352
00:15:54,721 --> 00:15:56,689
I've never been to a prom
at a hospital before.
353
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:58,558
Is it cool if I sneak away
at some point
354
00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:00,627
and have a doctor look
at my jacked-up elbows?
355
00:16:00,727 --> 00:16:02,695
That's the hospital
from Grey's Anatomy!
356
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:06,066
You've been pranked
by the Prank Prince!
357
00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:08,568
I can't believe you fell for it!
358
00:16:08,668 --> 00:16:11,671
Pffft! Pffft! Pffft!
359
00:16:11,771 --> 00:16:13,073
Hilarious.
360
00:16:16,443 --> 00:16:18,545
Oh!
361
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:21,481
Oh, God! I am so sorry.
362
00:16:21,581 --> 00:16:23,150
You will be hearing
from my lawyer
363
00:16:23,250 --> 00:16:25,485
if there's any lasting damage
to my face.
364
00:16:26,453 --> 00:16:29,189
But I am proud of you, girl!
365
00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:31,024
Oh, man!
366
00:16:31,124 --> 00:16:32,459
I got you all so good.
367
00:16:32,559 --> 00:16:34,627
Pe, pe, pe, peo!
368
00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:36,596
Chris? What are you doing here?
369
00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:39,799
I've just been following you
around on the close friends map.
370
00:16:39,899 --> 00:16:41,434
Oh, so you're just a stalker?
371
00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:44,937
Yeah, but, like, in a funny way.
372
00:16:45,038 --> 00:16:47,040
And then I saw
this whole fight club.
373
00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:49,209
Once I post this video
of all you influencers
374
00:16:49,309 --> 00:16:51,111
beating the hell
out of each other,
375
00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:54,147
everyone's gonna know
you're all fake.
376
00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:56,783
But, like, not in a funny way.
377
00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:59,252
Prank, prank! Pffft!
378
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:07,960
People aren't just mad at me
for punching Sunny.
379
00:17:08,061 --> 00:17:10,897
All the influencers at Fight
Club are losing brand deals.
380
00:17:10,997 --> 00:17:14,267
Oh, man, Sunny lost her contract
with Live Laugh Loofah.
381
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,703
The shower scrub that offers
words of affirmation?
382
00:17:16,803 --> 00:17:19,706
It gets rid of dead skin cells
and negative thoughts.
383
00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:21,708
She gonna be dirty and sad.
384
00:17:21,808 --> 00:17:24,811
This is all my fault.
385
00:17:24,911 --> 00:17:27,080
Oh, that's one way
to look at it.
386
00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:28,148
What's another way?
387
00:17:28,248 --> 00:17:30,617
Oh, there's really just the one.
388
00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:33,052
Well, it's Chris's fault, too.
389
00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:35,488
He used a map for evil.
390
00:17:35,588 --> 00:17:37,090
Like a pirate.
391
00:17:37,190 --> 00:17:39,259
Yes, let it out.
392
00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:41,494
He targeted me for being kind.
393
00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:42,995
That's right, get mad!
394
00:17:43,096 --> 00:17:46,133
You know, I'm a nice person,
but don't fudge with me!
395
00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:47,200
Mm-hmm.
396
00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:49,836
Girl, hit something.
397
00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:53,973
He's not even good at pranks!
398
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,208
He's not!
399
00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:57,277
And you never unload
the dishwasher.
400
00:17:57,377 --> 00:17:59,346
I won't argue,
'cause you're making progress.
401
00:17:59,446 --> 00:18:03,416
And Meyer lemons taste the same
as regular lemons!
402
00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:05,285
They're sweeter, but go on, sis!
403
00:18:05,385 --> 00:18:08,455
Yes, give me those tiny punches.
404
00:18:08,555 --> 00:18:11,391
And they picked Bran to be king?
405
00:18:11,491 --> 00:18:16,996
Bran? He was gone
for a whole season!
406
00:18:20,567 --> 00:18:23,703
- I feel so much better.
- All right!
407
00:18:23,803 --> 00:18:26,005
You want to buy
some Live Laugh Loofahs?
408
00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:32,979
No. I want to rake my nails
across Chris's eyeballs
409
00:18:33,079 --> 00:18:36,983
until blood spurts out of them
and I can drink it.
410
00:18:37,083 --> 00:18:39,252
Okay.
411
00:18:39,352 --> 00:18:40,887
I see you've reached catharsis.
412
00:18:40,987 --> 00:18:42,489
Now you just need closure.
413
00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:45,091
What I need is a straw
so I can drink
414
00:18:45,192 --> 00:18:47,294
Chris's eyeball blood.
415
00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:51,598
Okay, yeah, maybe I need
some closure.
416
00:18:53,300 --> 00:18:55,302
* *
417
00:18:56,769 --> 00:18:58,705
Millicent, why are you
all dressed up
418
00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:00,240
if you're just
gonna confront Derek?
419
00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:02,675
Have you ever heard
of a revenge outfit?
420
00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:05,111
The zipper got stuck.
421
00:19:07,314 --> 00:19:09,015
What's lame?
422
00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:12,885
Derek. Sit.
423
00:19:15,255 --> 00:19:16,723
Ah.
424
00:19:19,459 --> 00:19:21,160
Does anyone else
want to sit too?
425
00:19:21,261 --> 00:19:24,163
- I'll stand, thanks.
- You do you.
426
00:19:24,264 --> 00:19:27,099
I will do me, but not
because you told me to.
427
00:19:28,435 --> 00:19:30,270
Did you say something
to your mom on the phone
428
00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:33,406
about being nice so that
"she does whatever you say"?
429
00:19:34,241 --> 00:19:37,844
- Yes, but I was--
- But, but, but, but, but!
430
00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:41,848
I should have known better
than to fall for your tricks.
431
00:19:41,948 --> 00:19:44,217
After all, I am human,
while you have
432
00:19:44,317 --> 00:19:47,119
the emotional intelligence
of an energy drink.
433
00:19:47,220 --> 00:19:50,122
Millicent, I was talking
about my puppy, Athena.
434
00:19:50,223 --> 00:19:53,025
I've been having trouble
with her, but our trainer said
435
00:19:53,125 --> 00:19:56,229
if we were nicer,
she would do whatever I say.
436
00:19:56,329 --> 00:19:59,266
Oh...
437
00:19:59,799 --> 00:20:01,701
But you made me do all the work.
438
00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:03,603
I didn't make you. You offered.
439
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:06,873
Which makes sense, 'cause you're
really good at doing projects.
440
00:20:06,973 --> 00:20:09,309
And I'm really good
at having cool haircuts.
441
00:20:10,477 --> 00:20:11,878
I was just trying
to make you happy.
442
00:20:11,978 --> 00:20:13,613
Aw.
443
00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:15,982
Why would you want me
to be happy?
444
00:20:16,082 --> 00:20:18,084
Because D-money loves her.
445
00:20:18,184 --> 00:20:23,055
M&M, you're smart.
I think you know why.
446
00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:26,459
Space Needle?
I'd like to book a wedding.
447
00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:30,162
Christmas Eve, 2042.
I'll be paying in crypto--
448
00:20:30,263 --> 00:20:31,764
She hung up.
449
00:20:33,766 --> 00:20:36,836
My lil' Milli Vanill'
has a boyfriend.
450
00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:39,539
Oh, wow, a boyfriend. Um...
451
00:20:39,639 --> 00:20:41,007
When you say the word like that,
452
00:20:41,107 --> 00:20:42,875
just out loud, you know,
with your mouth...
453
00:20:42,975 --> 00:20:44,477
Catch me, dude.
454
00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:46,212
- I'm gonna faint.
- Oh, I got you.
455
00:20:46,313 --> 00:20:48,214
Got--there he is.
456
00:20:48,315 --> 00:20:51,584
* *
457
00:20:52,419 --> 00:20:56,989
I'm ready for closure.
With my cathar-sisterhood.
458
00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:59,592
I never should have
taught you that word.
459
00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:01,461
Shut up, he's here.
460
00:21:01,561 --> 00:21:04,597
Hello? I'm here for
the discount illegal fireworks.
461
00:21:04,697 --> 00:21:07,400
Oh, Chris.
462
00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:10,337
Chris, Chris, Chris.
463
00:21:10,437 --> 00:21:13,105
Carly. I didn't know
you were into fireworks.
464
00:21:13,205 --> 00:21:15,442
Want to go grab come M-80s
and piss off some dogs?
465
00:21:15,542 --> 00:21:17,009
There are no fireworks, Chris.
466
00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:18,878
It didn't tip you off
467
00:21:18,978 --> 00:21:21,348
when Lakeisha the jazz singer
invited you
468
00:21:21,448 --> 00:21:24,384
to the very warehouse
Fight Club was held in?
469
00:21:25,452 --> 00:21:26,653
No.
470
00:21:26,753 --> 00:21:27,987
All right, bye.
471
00:21:28,087 --> 00:21:29,221
Kelly, get the door.
472
00:21:29,322 --> 00:21:31,424
* *
473
00:21:34,226 --> 00:21:35,895
What, am I supposed
to be scared?
474
00:21:35,995 --> 00:21:38,164
Okay, I'm scared.
475
00:21:38,965 --> 00:21:40,299
You should be.
476
00:21:41,401 --> 00:21:44,036
You hurt my feelings
when you took advantage
477
00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:46,272
of my kindness, Chris.
478
00:21:46,373 --> 00:21:48,140
You hurt 'em real bad.
479
00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:51,478
I thought we were friends.
Friends, Chris.
480
00:21:51,578 --> 00:21:53,480
Like the show.
481
00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:56,048
What do I have to say
to make this stop?
482
00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:57,984
Oh, you don't have
to say a word,
483
00:21:58,084 --> 00:21:59,819
'cause we're gonna say 'em all.
484
00:22:02,054 --> 00:22:04,891
Oh, okay. Is this a prank?
Where are the cameras?
485
00:22:04,991 --> 00:22:07,326
Oh, no. This isn't a prank.
486
00:22:07,427 --> 00:22:09,496
This is just for us.
487
00:22:09,596 --> 00:22:12,865
And it's gonna be
healthy as hell.
488
00:22:12,965 --> 00:22:14,367
You're up, Kelly.
489
00:22:18,037 --> 00:22:21,841
Chris, because you exposed
Influencer Fight Club,
490
00:22:21,941 --> 00:22:24,010
all of my sponsors dropped me.
491
00:22:26,045 --> 00:22:27,780
I mean, I got new ones
492
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:29,582
and I actually
make more money now,
493
00:22:29,682 --> 00:22:30,850
but you made me do paperwork.
494
00:22:33,252 --> 00:22:34,186
Hey, Chris!
495
00:22:38,491 --> 00:22:41,160
Influencer Fight Club
was the only thing
496
00:22:41,260 --> 00:22:43,996
that brought me happiness
and you took that away from me.
497
00:22:44,096 --> 00:22:45,798
Whose ass am I supposed
to kick now?
498
00:22:45,898 --> 00:22:48,234
I think Chris's ass.
499
00:22:52,004 --> 00:22:53,740
Right in the moneymaker!
500
00:22:57,910 --> 00:23:00,079
Hope he still has
that hospital gown.
501
00:23:00,179 --> 00:23:02,181
- Smackdown selfie?
- Oh, yeah!
502
00:23:06,318 --> 00:23:07,854
* *
503
00:23:07,954 --> 00:23:11,758
You pranked him with a fake
fireworks sale? That's nothing.
504
00:23:11,858 --> 00:23:13,292
Just let me have this.
505
00:23:13,392 --> 00:23:15,294
Plus, your Pranks
Anonymous sponsor
506
00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:17,564
said you shouldn't even
be talking about pranks.
507
00:23:17,664 --> 00:23:20,066
I'm not! I'm talking about
508
00:23:20,166 --> 00:23:22,569
other ways you could've
gotten closure.
509
00:23:22,669 --> 00:23:25,605
Like putting clear nail polish
on his soap,
510
00:23:25,705 --> 00:23:29,141
or replacing every book
in his apartment with Twilight,
511
00:23:29,241 --> 00:23:31,410
or sending him a photo of me
512
00:23:31,511 --> 00:23:33,846
licking all of his pens
two weeks earlier.
513
00:23:33,946 --> 00:23:36,148
Oh, God, I've got a taste
and I need more.
514
00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:38,785
I gotta prank! Hold me back!
515
00:23:38,885 --> 00:23:40,052
It's not working!
516
00:23:40,152 --> 00:23:41,621
- You're too small!
- I know!
517
00:23:41,721 --> 00:23:42,889
- Get bigger!
- I can't!
518
00:23:42,989 --> 00:23:44,491
Where's my pranking kit?
519
00:24:12,084 --> 00:24:13,786
Ooh!
520
00:24:13,886 --> 00:24:16,088
He hates these cans.
37938
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