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1
00:00:13,380 --> 00:00:15,215
Oh, my!
2
00:00:15,281 --> 00:00:17,283
A handsome interloper
3
00:00:17,308 --> 00:00:20,136
has happened upon my impromptu picnic.
4
00:00:32,457 --> 00:00:37,902
Allow me to cool my d�colletage
with an icy glass of sweet tea.
5
00:00:39,859 --> 00:00:41,327
You need to come with me.
6
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:44,139
Are you not seeing
what's happening here?
7
00:00:48,303 --> 00:00:50,459
You're a traveling salesman,
8
00:00:50,483 --> 00:00:52,819
and my daddy has gone to town for seeds.
9
00:00:52,844 --> 00:00:55,372
We had a swarm of locusts.
10
00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:57,293
Hey.
11
00:00:57,318 --> 00:00:59,620
You really need to come with me.
12
00:00:59,645 --> 00:01:02,729
But... But, well, now I'm
stuck with all this sweet tea
13
00:01:03,014 --> 00:01:05,141
and whipped cream and this accent.
14
00:01:09,369 --> 00:01:11,638
Deserted highway, jittery husband.
15
00:01:11,746 --> 00:01:13,305
If I knew you were gonna kill me,
16
00:01:13,330 --> 00:01:15,132
I would've worn sweats.
17
00:01:15,770 --> 00:01:18,065
Okay. Look at the billboard.
18
00:01:19,307 --> 00:01:20,842
"Mr. Naughty's."
19
00:01:20,971 --> 00:01:22,039
A strip club?
20
00:01:22,348 --> 00:01:25,206
Naked picnic Monday isn't
good enough for you anymore?
21
00:01:25,685 --> 00:01:27,034
Look again.
22
00:01:27,059 --> 00:01:29,565
What? It's some poor stripper
looking confused and...
23
00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:31,753
Oh, my God, that's my daughter!
24
00:01:43,326 --> 00:01:48,326
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
... for www.addic7ed.com ...
25
00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:02,041
It's Christy!
26
00:02:02,222 --> 00:02:04,391
Yeah, we know it's Christy.
27
00:02:04,416 --> 00:02:05,859
I knew her eyes were big,
28
00:02:05,884 --> 00:02:08,158
but now they're, like, six feet tall.
29
00:02:08,924 --> 00:02:10,913
And I think they're following me.
30
00:02:12,265 --> 00:02:14,583
She hung up her tassels ages ago.
31
00:02:14,608 --> 00:02:16,544
Has that thing been
up there for 20 years?
32
00:02:16,569 --> 00:02:18,872
Judging by all the bird poop, yes.
33
00:02:19,327 --> 00:02:21,674
Why couldn't they have
pooped on her face?
34
00:02:22,038 --> 00:02:24,040
Poop on her face!
35
00:02:24,268 --> 00:02:25,879
At least it'll be dark soon
36
00:02:25,904 --> 00:02:27,471
and people won't be able to see it.
37
00:02:30,846 --> 00:02:32,951
Poop on the lights!
38
00:02:37,590 --> 00:02:42,337
So, a giant, half-naked Christy
has been up there for decades,
39
00:02:42,362 --> 00:02:44,230
and we had no idea.
40
00:02:44,297 --> 00:02:46,432
You know, I always
pictured a boyish figure
41
00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:47,910
under all those hoodies,
and, to be honest,
42
00:02:47,934 --> 00:02:49,547
I preferred it that way.
43
00:02:50,303 --> 00:02:52,305
- Do you think she knows?
- Of course not.
44
00:02:52,330 --> 00:02:53,740
I posted a picture of
her on her birthday.
45
00:02:53,765 --> 00:02:55,510
She made me take it down
'cause she didn't like
46
00:02:55,535 --> 00:02:56,769
how her ears looked.
47
00:02:56,794 --> 00:02:59,414
Upside, you don't notice
her ears on the billboard.
48
00:03:00,613 --> 00:03:02,649
I mean, we've all heard
about her stripper days,
49
00:03:02,674 --> 00:03:05,544
but somehow, seeing her 80 feet wide
50
00:03:05,569 --> 00:03:07,504
makes it very real.
51
00:03:07,951 --> 00:03:10,311
Yeah. I mean, I know Marjorie
lived in a cardboard box,
52
00:03:10,336 --> 00:03:12,496
but if I saw it on a billboard,
that would be a bummer.
53
00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,528
What would that billboard be for?
54
00:03:15,553 --> 00:03:17,600
Dave's Cardboard Box Emporium?
55
00:03:18,056 --> 00:03:19,280
Well, living in a box
56
00:03:19,305 --> 00:03:21,116
was one of the least
embarrassing things I did.
57
00:03:21,141 --> 00:03:23,643
Thank God social media didn't
exist when I was drinking.
58
00:03:23,944 --> 00:03:25,446
Oh, I'm not so lucky.
59
00:03:25,471 --> 00:03:29,700
If you Google "drunk socialite
moons Wimbledon," hello.
60
00:03:29,725 --> 00:03:32,661
I'd be mortified if you guys
ever saw my episode of Cops.
61
00:03:32,686 --> 00:03:36,119
I get arrested, make bail,
then get arrested again.
62
00:03:36,144 --> 00:03:39,119
Never jaywalk with a goat
if you're trying to lay low.
63
00:03:41,341 --> 00:03:42,675
Well, my daughter has come too far
64
00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:45,303
for her hoo-ha to be
a roadside attraction.
65
00:03:45,592 --> 00:03:47,526
Christy's gonna lose
it when she finds out.
66
00:03:47,551 --> 00:03:49,671
No, she won't, 'cause
none of us are telling her.
67
00:03:49,696 --> 00:03:50,964
I'm gonna handle it.
68
00:03:51,186 --> 00:03:55,256
- Okay, just...
- I'm gonna handle it.
69
00:03:56,826 --> 00:03:58,905
This is the best burger I've ever had.
70
00:03:58,930 --> 00:04:01,432
Just mayo and cheese. I'm in heaven!
71
00:04:01,759 --> 00:04:03,971
But mostly I feel bad about Christy.
72
00:04:06,441 --> 00:04:08,076
Operator.
73
00:04:08,267 --> 00:04:10,186
Customer service.
74
00:04:10,812 --> 00:04:12,772
Live person!
75
00:04:12,905 --> 00:04:14,760
- What's going on?
- I'm trying to get through
76
00:04:14,785 --> 00:04:17,077
to the strip club, But they
have this whole long menu
77
00:04:17,102 --> 00:04:20,343
about VIP rooms, strip
clubs, lost wedding rings.
78
00:04:20,458 --> 00:04:23,597
What number do I push to
save my daughter's dignity?!
79
00:04:23,622 --> 00:04:25,108
Did you try eight?
80
00:04:26,666 --> 00:04:29,151
Oh, there's Rod. Don't look. Don't look.
81
00:04:33,209 --> 00:04:36,271
- Did you all just see that?
- No, 'cause you told us not to look.
82
00:04:36,417 --> 00:04:38,711
He completely ignored me.
83
00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:42,241
This is why I say dating people
from the rooms can get messy.
84
00:04:42,266 --> 00:04:44,617
Marjorie, we're alcoholics.
When you say "messy,"
85
00:04:44,642 --> 00:04:46,921
we hear, "Sounds like
fun. Where do I sign up?"
86
00:04:47,654 --> 00:04:49,555
God, why did I hook up with him?
87
00:04:49,580 --> 00:04:51,382
He's so not my type.
88
00:04:51,407 --> 00:04:53,576
He's arrogant and
vain and self-centered,
89
00:04:53,601 --> 00:04:55,554
and why hasn't he called me?
90
00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:57,430
Why don't you call him?
91
00:04:57,455 --> 00:04:59,457
Ugh, I don't want
anything to do with him.
92
00:04:59,482 --> 00:05:00,917
It's just awkward.
93
00:05:01,232 --> 00:05:02,969
I mean, we've seen each other naked.
94
00:05:03,246 --> 00:05:05,817
Well, I was naked. He kept his boots on.
95
00:05:07,305 --> 00:05:09,048
You know, for traction.
96
00:05:09,776 --> 00:05:13,830
So, Rod took his boots off,
then took his pants off,
97
00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:15,790
then put his boots back on?
98
00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:17,784
No. Boots stayed on the whole time.
99
00:05:17,809 --> 00:05:20,512
It was like some
weird, sexy magic trick.
100
00:05:20,612 --> 00:05:23,448
All right, ladies, let's take our seats.
101
00:05:30,630 --> 00:05:32,268
- Did he look?
- Nope.
102
00:05:32,293 --> 00:05:33,987
Damn it, what a child!
103
00:05:37,229 --> 00:05:39,815
So, how you doing? You still
freaked out about that billboard?
104
00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:41,507
Let me tell you something.
105
00:05:41,615 --> 00:05:43,117
When I first saw it,
106
00:05:43,142 --> 00:05:45,044
I was just a guy driving down a road,
107
00:05:45,069 --> 00:05:47,622
happy to see some advertising
that didn't involve
108
00:05:47,647 --> 00:05:50,237
personal injury attorneys or eczema.
109
00:05:50,917 --> 00:05:53,619
I started at the feet. All systems go.
110
00:05:53,644 --> 00:05:56,281
Worked my way up the legs. Life is good.
111
00:05:56,306 --> 00:05:58,458
Torso did not disappoint.
112
00:05:58,483 --> 00:06:00,585
And wham! It's my stepdaughter.
113
00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:03,629
I mean, I nearly drove off the road.
114
00:06:04,222 --> 00:06:05,909
So, this strip club...
115
00:06:06,094 --> 00:06:08,152
Where exactly is it located?
116
00:06:08,875 --> 00:06:11,744
I haven't had glitter on
the old trousers in a while.
117
00:06:11,826 --> 00:06:13,234
Come on, man.
118
00:06:13,259 --> 00:06:16,159
We're in a bar. Isn't this where
men can speak from our hearts?
119
00:06:16,184 --> 00:06:17,786
That's not where you're speaking from.
120
00:06:18,312 --> 00:06:20,281
I am awash in shame.
121
00:06:20,306 --> 00:06:22,690
I'm sorry. It's just this whole thing
122
00:06:22,715 --> 00:06:24,851
made me realize that every
woman I've ever checked out
123
00:06:24,876 --> 00:06:26,478
is somebody's daughter.
124
00:06:26,503 --> 00:06:27,971
Yeah, but if we all thought that way,
125
00:06:27,996 --> 00:06:29,564
no one would ever have sex again.
126
00:06:29,589 --> 00:06:31,757
The human species would go extinct.
127
00:06:31,782 --> 00:06:33,884
You know, men objectifying women
128
00:06:33,909 --> 00:06:36,734
is what's keeping civilization
alive. We're heroes.
129
00:06:36,759 --> 00:06:38,494
- We're pigs!
- No, we're not.
130
00:06:38,670 --> 00:06:41,239
We open the doors, we kill the spiders,
131
00:06:41,264 --> 00:06:43,981
- we buy the jewelry.
- We have to be better.
132
00:06:44,619 --> 00:06:46,176
Do we?
133
00:06:47,761 --> 00:06:50,718
Yes! That's a person up
there on that billboard.
134
00:06:50,743 --> 00:06:54,188
With real feelings and a
heart... and a soul
135
00:06:54,213 --> 00:06:55,915
and a way of eating
lasagna from the middle
136
00:06:55,940 --> 00:06:57,708
that's very endearing.
137
00:06:58,594 --> 00:07:01,263
Well, now you're making
me feel bad about myself.
138
00:07:01,288 --> 00:07:02,456
Well, you should.
139
00:07:03,540 --> 00:07:06,320
Truth be told, I have been dragging
140
00:07:06,345 --> 00:07:09,281
a little sexual toilet paper
around on my shoe lately.
141
00:07:09,410 --> 00:07:11,870
- Let me guess. Jill?
- Oh, you heard.
142
00:07:11,895 --> 00:07:13,363
Bonnie told me.
143
00:07:13,388 --> 00:07:14,600
When you're married,
144
00:07:14,625 --> 00:07:16,794
other people's
adventures are a big deal.
145
00:07:17,559 --> 00:07:20,840
Yeah. I've been avoiding
her since we had sex,
146
00:07:20,865 --> 00:07:25,422
and... perhaps that
doesn't feel good to her?
147
00:07:25,812 --> 00:07:28,981
I don't think women
appreciate that the way we do.
148
00:07:30,683 --> 00:07:32,451
You know what? I'm gonna give her a ring
149
00:07:32,476 --> 00:07:33,694
and invite her down here,
150
00:07:33,719 --> 00:07:35,316
and we can sort it out like two adults.
151
00:07:35,341 --> 00:07:36,509
Good for you.
152
00:07:36,534 --> 00:07:38,414
You know, I-I've told
myself over and over again
153
00:07:38,439 --> 00:07:40,575
not to fool around with
women from meetings,
154
00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:42,904
but then I get this incredibly
compelling counterargument
155
00:07:42,929 --> 00:07:44,418
from my penis.
156
00:07:44,443 --> 00:07:46,445
They are convincing.
157
00:07:58,860 --> 00:08:01,863
Whoops! Sorry. Oh! Carry on.
158
00:08:02,988 --> 00:08:06,185
God, Tuesday afternoon.
What is wrong with men?
159
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,490
It's open.
160
00:08:12,657 --> 00:08:14,592
Oh. Hello.
161
00:08:14,894 --> 00:08:18,731
- Are you the manager?
- Yep. You're too old to work here.
162
00:08:19,732 --> 00:08:23,102
What? Hey, I could totally work here.
163
00:08:23,690 --> 00:08:26,360
All right. Show me what you got.
164
00:08:28,140 --> 00:08:30,848
Wait, no. That's not why I came.
165
00:08:30,873 --> 00:08:32,745
Let me guess.
166
00:08:32,853 --> 00:08:34,288
Your husband is in there,
167
00:08:34,313 --> 00:08:37,476
and you need me to go remind him
how great his life is back home.
168
00:08:37,677 --> 00:08:40,609
No, my husband knows
how great his life is.
169
00:08:41,621 --> 00:08:43,289
Great. 'Cause lately,
I've been struggling
170
00:08:43,314 --> 00:08:45,425
to come off as sincere.
171
00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:49,053
- May I?
- Take your chances.
172
00:08:56,609 --> 00:08:58,726
Many years ago, there was a...
173
00:08:58,871 --> 00:09:01,134
there was a girl... a lost girl.
174
00:09:01,159 --> 00:09:02,942
But it wasn't the girl's fault.
175
00:09:02,967 --> 00:09:05,269
Her-her mother never gave
her the road map she needed
176
00:09:05,294 --> 00:09:06,820
- to succeed in life.
- Mm.
177
00:09:06,845 --> 00:09:09,824
Actually, no one ever gave her
mother the road map, either.
178
00:09:09,849 --> 00:09:12,911
- It's a vicious cycle.
- Yeah, I'm familiar with it.
179
00:09:14,718 --> 00:09:18,691
Anyway, uh, this girl spent
some of her formative years
180
00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:20,519
in this very establishment.
181
00:09:20,544 --> 00:09:23,596
Yeah, see, formative years.
Now, that's what I hire.
182
00:09:25,194 --> 00:09:28,464
Uh-huh. But how many of those
end up at Georgetown Law school?
183
00:09:29,506 --> 00:09:32,509
They don't tend to keep
in touch after they leave.
184
00:09:32,772 --> 00:09:35,341
Well, my daughter made that journey,
185
00:09:35,366 --> 00:09:37,935
and yet she's still up on your billboard
186
00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:39,494
on Route 29.
187
00:09:40,201 --> 00:09:42,002
You're Christy's mom?
188
00:09:42,515 --> 00:09:45,573
- You remember her?
- Well, yeah!
189
00:09:45,598 --> 00:09:47,581
Well, I used to be the DJ back then.
190
00:09:47,606 --> 00:09:49,722
Hey, I'm the one who told her
191
00:09:49,747 --> 00:09:51,315
she should work to "Tiny Dancer."
192
00:09:51,340 --> 00:09:52,541
Right? You get it?
193
00:09:52,566 --> 00:09:54,835
'Cause she-she's very small.
194
00:09:56,832 --> 00:09:59,902
Well, you-you both made
something of yourselves.
195
00:10:00,237 --> 00:10:03,636
Yeah, I never dreamed
I'd have my own office.
196
00:10:03,661 --> 00:10:05,729
So Christy's still alive, huh?
197
00:10:05,754 --> 00:10:07,823
Wow. That's great.
198
00:10:08,523 --> 00:10:11,877
You know, I knew her
heart wasn't in the pole.
199
00:10:11,902 --> 00:10:13,730
It's not for everyone.
200
00:10:13,972 --> 00:10:15,247
Well, I'm glad you understand
201
00:10:15,272 --> 00:10:17,675
because it leads me to why I'm here.
202
00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,802
I feel that billboard
might have a negative impact
203
00:10:19,827 --> 00:10:21,495
on her legal career.
204
00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:23,622
I mean, she may be on
the Supreme Court one day,
205
00:10:23,647 --> 00:10:25,415
but not with that thing up there.
206
00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:27,809
Mm, I'm sorry. That billboard's money.
207
00:10:27,908 --> 00:10:29,810
But it's more than 20 years old.
208
00:10:30,096 --> 00:10:34,046
You know, people like the vintage.
Reminds them of a simpler time.
209
00:10:34,071 --> 00:10:35,788
1998?
210
00:10:35,813 --> 00:10:37,047
Wow.
211
00:10:37,072 --> 00:10:38,550
This crazy blue marble, huh?
212
00:10:38,575 --> 00:10:40,706
Just keeps spinning, don't it?
213
00:10:41,558 --> 00:10:44,410
Look, my daughter worked
so hard to get where she is.
214
00:10:44,435 --> 00:10:46,761
She shouldn't have to drag her
past behind her for eternity.
215
00:10:46,786 --> 00:10:48,754
That's... that's not right.
216
00:10:50,116 --> 00:10:53,853
Neither is smoking
indoors, but here we are.
217
00:10:54,136 --> 00:10:56,538
That billboard needs to come down,
218
00:10:56,563 --> 00:11:00,367
and I am not leaving
until you change your mind.
219
00:11:03,412 --> 00:11:05,514
Tony, Bruno, I'd like you to consider
220
00:11:05,539 --> 00:11:07,519
what your mothers
think of you right now!
221
00:11:12,789 --> 00:11:14,201
The manager wasn't a terrible guy.
222
00:11:14,226 --> 00:11:16,240
He did give me two
coupons to the buffet.
223
00:11:16,265 --> 00:11:18,434
Ooh, I love a good strip club buffet.
224
00:11:18,983 --> 00:11:21,237
Yeah. I only got a quick look
as I was rudely shown the door,
225
00:11:21,262 --> 00:11:22,446
but there were silver dollar pancakes
226
00:11:22,471 --> 00:11:25,074
and what looked to be an ambrosia salad.
227
00:11:25,328 --> 00:11:28,097
Maybe when we're done
vandalizing, we can drop by.
228
00:11:29,378 --> 00:11:30,446
No? Okay.
229
00:11:31,159 --> 00:11:34,125
Now, this little baby
takes no prisoners.
230
00:11:34,150 --> 00:11:37,920
Two strokes, and it's bye-bye,
Christy's questionable choices.
231
00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:41,015
What's going on?
232
00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:42,474
Could ask you the same thing.
233
00:11:42,499 --> 00:11:43,717
What are you doing
with that poor creature?
234
00:11:43,742 --> 00:11:45,578
Oh, the vet says he's pre-diabetic,
235
00:11:45,603 --> 00:11:47,772
so twice a day, we got to walk the hill.
236
00:11:48,257 --> 00:11:50,649
So, it looks like you
two have a project.
237
00:11:50,740 --> 00:11:52,860
The strip club wouldn't take
down Christy's billboard,
238
00:11:52,885 --> 00:11:54,820
so I'm taking matters into my own hands.
239
00:11:54,887 --> 00:11:57,478
Aha. So you're planning to deface it?
240
00:11:57,503 --> 00:11:59,931
De-face. De-body.
De-whole thing.
241
00:12:00,926 --> 00:12:04,275
Hold on. Let's make sure
we look before we leap.
242
00:12:04,300 --> 00:12:05,807
Great. Now we're gonna get wisdom
243
00:12:05,831 --> 00:12:07,853
from a woman who's walking her cat.
244
00:12:07,878 --> 00:12:10,032
I think what we need here is a meeting,
245
00:12:10,057 --> 00:12:13,372
because your alcoholic brain is
running a little wild right now,
246
00:12:13,397 --> 00:12:15,899
and Tammy's getting
caught up in the riptide.
247
00:12:15,924 --> 00:12:17,739
I am impressionable.
248
00:12:20,486 --> 00:12:22,254
Maybe I could do a ladies only night.
249
00:12:22,279 --> 00:12:23,623
That way, they won't even
have to deal with men.
250
00:12:23,648 --> 00:12:25,583
You know, make the bar
kind of a safe haven.
251
00:12:25,608 --> 00:12:27,310
You mean like a lesbian bar?
252
00:12:27,335 --> 00:12:30,238
News flash... not
necessarily a safe haven.
253
00:12:31,564 --> 00:12:34,906
All right, let's try a Sparkly Pony.
254
00:12:34,931 --> 00:12:37,803
Ooh, it has pineapple in
it. I'm mildly allergic.
255
00:12:37,828 --> 00:12:39,696
Finally, a little danger!
256
00:12:42,341 --> 00:12:43,977
Jill's here.
257
00:12:49,798 --> 00:12:51,800
This is gonna be harder than I thought.
258
00:12:54,686 --> 00:12:56,288
Hello.
259
00:12:56,355 --> 00:12:57,355
Uh, thanks for coming.
260
00:12:57,389 --> 00:13:00,592
Mm, no problem. I was in
the neighborhood, and...
261
00:13:00,659 --> 00:13:03,395
already dressed like this.
262
00:13:03,420 --> 00:13:04,539
What can I get for you, Jill?
263
00:13:04,563 --> 00:13:06,456
I'm about to ride a Sparkly Pony.
264
00:13:06,481 --> 00:13:08,667
Oh, I'll have one of
those, extra sparkle.
265
00:13:08,734 --> 00:13:11,069
Jill, if you had to
judge my bar as a whole,
266
00:13:11,136 --> 00:13:12,547
would you say that it respects women?
267
00:13:12,613 --> 00:13:15,441
- What?
- Never mind.
268
00:13:17,750 --> 00:13:19,586
So, you're the one that called me,
269
00:13:19,611 --> 00:13:22,215
'cause I certainly had no
intentions of ever calling you.
270
00:13:22,355 --> 00:13:23,615
I even deleted your contact,
271
00:13:23,682 --> 00:13:25,417
so when you called,
it was just a number.
272
00:13:25,442 --> 00:13:27,778
I didn't know who it was, so
I picked up, and it was you.
273
00:13:28,766 --> 00:13:31,256
Right. Yes. Uh, can I get you a drink?
274
00:13:31,281 --> 00:13:32,549
We just did that.
275
00:13:32,789 --> 00:13:35,360
Great. Phase one complete,
only minor injuries.
276
00:13:38,402 --> 00:13:42,082
I asked you here because
I wanted to... own up
277
00:13:42,107 --> 00:13:44,678
to my recent... aloofness.
278
00:13:44,703 --> 00:13:46,271
Oh, I didn't even notice.
279
00:13:46,338 --> 00:13:47,648
I mean, you're not even in my phone,
280
00:13:47,673 --> 00:13:49,608
but I'm still in yours,
so who's aloof now?
281
00:13:51,242 --> 00:13:53,420
- Anyway, even if you didn't notice...
- I didn't.
282
00:13:53,445 --> 00:13:56,181
Well, I did, and I didn't treat you
283
00:13:56,206 --> 00:13:58,738
with the respect that you deserve.
284
00:14:00,619 --> 00:14:01,847
And I'm sorry.
285
00:14:02,340 --> 00:14:04,676
Mm. Thank you.
286
00:14:06,792 --> 00:14:08,494
Look, we're two adults
287
00:14:08,519 --> 00:14:10,354
who had consensual sex
in a vacant apartment.
288
00:14:11,605 --> 00:14:13,674
God, that was hard to say out loud.
289
00:14:15,844 --> 00:14:18,604
Just so you know, that's
not the kind of behavior
290
00:14:18,629 --> 00:14:20,360
I usually indulge in.
291
00:14:20,739 --> 00:14:24,576
Well, it's exactly the kind of
behavior I usually indulge in.
292
00:14:24,601 --> 00:14:26,603
And then I leave town.
293
00:14:26,797 --> 00:14:30,473
Only, uh, nowhere to go
and no money to get there.
294
00:14:32,284 --> 00:14:33,902
I didn't think this one through.
295
00:14:34,028 --> 00:14:35,963
Yeah, I didn't, either.
296
00:14:36,551 --> 00:14:38,996
Can-can we just reset
297
00:14:39,199 --> 00:14:41,627
and try being clothes-on,
298
00:14:41,693 --> 00:14:44,229
wave-to-each-other-
across-the-room friends?
299
00:14:44,296 --> 00:14:45,721
I can do that.
300
00:14:46,565 --> 00:14:49,368
So, uh, tell me about yourself.
301
00:14:49,434 --> 00:14:51,127
What's your last name?
302
00:14:54,415 --> 00:14:55,916
Hi. Bonnie, alcoholic.
303
00:14:55,941 --> 00:14:57,376
Hi, Bonnie.
304
00:14:57,636 --> 00:15:01,475
This is my first time
at the 5:45 meeting.
305
00:15:02,303 --> 00:15:04,550
Not to quibble, but what's the deal?
306
00:15:04,575 --> 00:15:07,345
Can't commit to 5:30?
Can't commit to 6:00?
307
00:15:07,370 --> 00:15:09,673
I mean, when do you have
dinner? When do you finish work?
308
00:15:09,698 --> 00:15:12,368
Came in handy for us
today, though, so thumbs up.
309
00:15:13,368 --> 00:15:15,303
I've been known to do
a lot of crazy things
310
00:15:15,328 --> 00:15:16,996
'cause, you know, alcoholic.
311
00:15:17,021 --> 00:15:18,973
And where this brain
goes, the body follows.
312
00:15:19,167 --> 00:15:21,333
Sometimes the body goes and
the brain just stays behind.
313
00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:24,870
Right now, I'm dealing with
a thing where, um,
314
00:15:24,895 --> 00:15:26,979
I'm worried my kid is
gonna be embarrassed
315
00:15:27,004 --> 00:15:31,443
or... hurt or exploited or exposed
316
00:15:31,468 --> 00:15:33,737
to the kind of people who
use secondary highways.
317
00:15:33,762 --> 00:15:37,002
She means that literally.
It's not a metaphor.
318
00:15:37,783 --> 00:15:41,033
I keep questioning if
my reaction is alcoholic.
319
00:15:41,795 --> 00:15:45,483
Actually, other people
keep questioning it,
320
00:15:45,662 --> 00:15:47,174
but, yeah, screw that.
321
00:15:47,199 --> 00:15:49,968
Sometimes it's not
about being an alcoholic.
322
00:15:49,993 --> 00:15:52,283
Sometimes it's just about being a mom.
323
00:15:52,308 --> 00:15:54,844
A mom who wants to protect her kid.
324
00:15:55,290 --> 00:15:57,666
You know what? The more I
talk about it, the more I...
325
00:15:58,837 --> 00:16:00,238
I can't be here.
326
00:16:02,492 --> 00:16:03,960
Should we follow her?
327
00:16:04,309 --> 00:16:06,011
No worries. She's not going anywhere.
328
00:16:06,036 --> 00:16:07,387
I got my keys right...
329
00:16:07,613 --> 00:16:09,832
Son of a bitch!
330
00:16:15,064 --> 00:16:16,414
How far away is your place?
331
00:16:16,439 --> 00:16:18,281
Ten minutes, but my housekeeper's there.
332
00:16:18,306 --> 00:16:20,617
- How about you?
- Seven minutes, but my mum's there.
333
00:16:21,094 --> 00:16:22,961
- Hit recline.
- Yeah.
334
00:16:25,972 --> 00:16:29,075
This is going very slowly,
but it's only making it hotter.
335
00:16:33,167 --> 00:16:35,569
Oh. Seriously?
336
00:16:36,539 --> 00:16:38,510
Oh, hey, Marjorie.
337
00:16:38,577 --> 00:16:41,906
Oh. Okay. I'll be right there.
338
00:16:42,981 --> 00:16:44,434
You have to go.
339
00:16:44,459 --> 00:16:47,919
Just gonna need a moment
before I can zip up again.
340
00:16:53,525 --> 00:16:55,207
This is fun.
341
00:16:56,278 --> 00:16:57,946
You guys have never been in my car.
342
00:16:57,971 --> 00:17:01,438
I bought it off a volunteer
fireman, so it has a siren.
343
00:17:02,557 --> 00:17:04,949
Well, we appreciate the ride.
344
00:17:05,001 --> 00:17:07,370
Even though I can't feel my feet.
345
00:17:08,103 --> 00:17:09,853
I offered you shotgun.
346
00:17:09,878 --> 00:17:11,907
But I couldn't because you're super old,
347
00:17:11,932 --> 00:17:13,666
and I'm inherently kind.
348
00:17:17,071 --> 00:17:19,106
I just had to show you.
349
00:17:22,072 --> 00:17:24,453
Come on, Bonnie! You're gonna get hurt!
350
00:17:24,478 --> 00:17:27,314
I don't care! This is my daughter!
351
00:17:29,072 --> 00:17:32,188
Damn it, Wendy. Was that
you behind me with the siren?
352
00:17:33,178 --> 00:17:35,581
Bonnie, get down from there!
353
00:17:35,606 --> 00:17:38,560
- I'm pretty sure you're trespassing.
- What?
354
00:17:38,585 --> 00:17:42,564
She said you're trespassing!
Come on. Use your outside voice.
355
00:17:44,649 --> 00:17:47,218
You're gonna end up in jail!
356
00:17:47,564 --> 00:17:49,703
Are you really telling me
357
00:17:49,728 --> 00:17:52,883
that if your son was up there
in a thong and high heels,
358
00:17:52,908 --> 00:17:55,393
you wouldn't do everything
in your power to fix it?
359
00:17:55,789 --> 00:17:56,803
She has a point.
360
00:17:56,828 --> 00:18:00,231
You are the mama of all bears
when it comes to your son.
361
00:18:00,256 --> 00:18:01,884
Well, as your sponsor,
362
00:18:01,909 --> 00:18:04,745
I think there's another
way to handle this.
363
00:18:06,855 --> 00:18:09,224
As a mother, I'm coming up!
364
00:18:15,301 --> 00:18:17,103
This is actually fun.
365
00:18:17,372 --> 00:18:19,841
Hey, maybe I should
paint one of my houses.
366
00:18:20,510 --> 00:18:23,049
- Is that a hickey on your neck?
- What? Shh!
367
00:18:24,881 --> 00:18:27,249
Ladies, thank you for dropping whatever
368
00:18:27,274 --> 00:18:30,577
or whoever you were doing
to come here and help me.
369
00:18:31,275 --> 00:18:34,090
Tammy, did you give her a tail?
370
00:18:34,115 --> 00:18:36,117
I'm gonna paint over it.
371
00:18:37,802 --> 00:18:40,304
Remember, don't look down.
372
00:18:40,329 --> 00:18:41,764
Why? What's wrong with it?
373
00:18:47,411 --> 00:18:50,888
Sorry, Christy. Cannot
FaceTime with you now.
374
00:18:58,888 --> 00:19:01,525
All right, Boz.
375
00:19:01,550 --> 00:19:04,754
We have been through
this. You got to exercise.
376
00:19:07,665 --> 00:19:11,460
You heard what the doctor said.
He was very clear.
377
00:19:12,310 --> 00:19:13,504
Okay.
378
00:19:13,725 --> 00:19:16,695
Do you want to be on
the low-calorie dry food
379
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:18,856
when everyone else gets the good stuff?
380
00:19:20,811 --> 00:19:22,646
I'm not giving in.
381
00:19:22,935 --> 00:19:25,574
I googled the side
effects of feline diabetes,
382
00:19:25,599 --> 00:19:27,301
and they're very upsetting.
383
00:19:29,912 --> 00:19:31,155
Yeah, just a heads-up.
384
00:19:31,180 --> 00:19:33,271
Looks like we're gonna be
late to the meeting again.
385
00:19:34,342 --> 00:19:39,342
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
... for www.addic7ed.com ...
29293
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