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1
00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:04,879
Glasgow's my home. I want to stay.
- You're staying?
2
00:00:05,180 --> 00:00:08,419
It just feels like Frankie's
needling her way into my life.
3
00:00:08,420 --> 00:00:11,819
This is Frankie. Frankie's doing
the photos for our new brochure.
4
00:00:11,820 --> 00:00:15,739
I thought this might be one for Jay
to take charge of actually. Jay?
5
00:00:15,740 --> 00:00:19,819
Easier to be the scarlet woman than
come out of the closet, I suppose.
6
00:00:19,820 --> 00:00:22,259
I do love him. We don't want
to cause a scene, do we?
7
00:00:22,260 --> 00:00:25,619
I think you've managed that
already, sweetheart. Aaargh!
8
00:00:25,620 --> 00:00:30,139
I'm now dumped and homeless.
I can help you find somewhere.
9
00:00:30,140 --> 00:00:32,179
You're moving in with Frankie? Yeah.
10
00:00:32,180 --> 00:00:35,659
Who's that then?
That's Hayley, the fit intern.
11
00:00:35,660 --> 00:00:37,861
She's been flirting
with me non-stop.
12
00:00:39,580 --> 00:00:42,179
Hayley... Hayley.
13
00:00:42,180 --> 00:00:43,539
It's ketamine.
14
00:00:43,540 --> 00:00:47,419
The album she made of you
as a kid, it's gone.
15
00:00:47,420 --> 00:00:50,299
Who the hell would want my photos?
Something was sent here.
16
00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:53,059
A photo album? Sent to someone
called Annie Cawthorne.
17
00:00:53,060 --> 00:00:55,739
We have got copies of most
of the documents you requested.
18
00:00:55,740 --> 00:00:58,979
Your parents' death certificates
along with your sister's.
19
00:00:58,980 --> 00:01:01,299
Little Francesca.
Tragic losing someone so young.
20
00:01:01,300 --> 00:01:05,021
This programme contains strong
language and scenes of a sexual
nature.
21
00:01:36,540 --> 00:01:40,139
Is that all you've got?
Yep. All my worldly goods.
22
00:01:40,140 --> 00:01:42,621
Yeah, I'm the same.
Just got a few bits.
23
00:01:45,060 --> 00:01:47,699
What?
24
00:01:47,700 --> 00:01:49,299
Tess, what is all this?
25
00:01:49,300 --> 00:01:51,859
It's my life. Is that everything?
26
00:01:51,860 --> 00:01:54,979
Absolutely everything.
27
00:01:54,980 --> 00:01:58,179
Oh, shit. I left my sponge bag
in the bathroom.
28
00:01:58,180 --> 00:01:59,701
I'll get it. Thank you.
29
00:02:02,140 --> 00:02:05,299
Oh, and there's a book on
that weird shelf thing. All right.
30
00:02:05,300 --> 00:02:08,339
And a jumper on the clothes horse
by my room.
31
00:02:08,340 --> 00:02:09,701
And the mascara.
32
00:02:25,940 --> 00:02:29,019
Oh, shit! Sorry. It's all right.
33
00:02:29,020 --> 00:02:32,819
I'm just looking for Tess's bag.
It's OK.
34
00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,141
No. Um...
35
00:02:36,780 --> 00:02:37,821
I'm Sam.
36
00:02:38,860 --> 00:02:40,699
Yeah.
37
00:02:40,700 --> 00:02:42,899
And you must be...Frankie?
38
00:02:42,900 --> 00:02:47,661
Yeah, Cat's told me all about you.
It's nice to finally meet you.
39
00:02:48,660 --> 00:02:49,819
Yeah.
40
00:02:49,820 --> 00:02:51,341
Yeah.
41
00:03:11,260 --> 00:03:12,699
What the hell are you doing?
42
00:03:12,700 --> 00:03:16,059
Sorry, I was just...
And your door was...?
43
00:03:16,060 --> 00:03:18,141
What? Open?
44
00:03:19,100 --> 00:03:21,581
Sorry. Frankie...
45
00:03:22,580 --> 00:03:25,579
I don't want to fight all the time.
It's boring.
46
00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:27,461
Yeah, I agree.
47
00:03:32,300 --> 00:03:35,661
Shit, I remember that!
48
00:03:36,940 --> 00:03:38,659
Your gran's house.
49
00:03:38,660 --> 00:03:40,539
Officially the ugliest vase ever.
50
00:03:40,540 --> 00:03:42,339
I can't bring myself to chuck it out.
51
00:03:42,340 --> 00:03:45,061
It was the one last thing
she gave me before she died.
52
00:03:46,620 --> 00:03:48,459
Are you OK?
53
00:03:48,460 --> 00:03:51,661
Yeah. Sure?
54
00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:54,461
Yeah, I'm fine.
55
00:03:56,180 --> 00:03:58,859
We used to raid her drinks cabinet
when she was at church
56
00:03:58,860 --> 00:04:01,819
and mix cocktails in it.
Remember? What was it again?
57
00:04:01,820 --> 00:04:03,499
Sambuca and Um Bongo...
58
00:04:03,500 --> 00:04:05,939
They drink it in the Congo.
59
00:04:05,940 --> 00:04:07,459
Which somehow I seriously doubt.
60
00:04:07,460 --> 00:04:11,459
Sam, this is Frankie. Frankie, Sam.
61
00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:13,299
We met.
62
00:04:13,300 --> 00:04:16,419
Do you mind if I borrow this?
I've got court this morning.
63
00:04:16,420 --> 00:04:18,819
What are you planning to do?
Flash the judge?
64
00:04:18,820 --> 00:04:21,741
You got to use what you got.
65
00:04:22,740 --> 00:04:26,019
Yeah, I'd better go. The driver
will be doing his nut with Tess.
66
00:04:26,020 --> 00:04:27,379
I'll come and see her off.
67
00:04:27,380 --> 00:04:28,901
Bye bye, roomie.
68
00:04:30,820 --> 00:04:31,859
Love you.
69
00:04:31,860 --> 00:04:33,101
Love you, too.
70
00:04:36,820 --> 00:04:38,461
Bye.
71
00:04:40,020 --> 00:04:43,581
Oh, my God! "Love in the afternoon."
72
00:04:45,820 --> 00:04:46,981
Come on.
73
00:04:49,980 --> 00:04:51,381
Ugh!
74
00:05:05,100 --> 00:05:06,619
Want to meet for lunch?
75
00:05:06,620 --> 00:05:09,699
I doubt I'll be finished. These
things have a habit of dragging on.
76
00:05:09,700 --> 00:05:12,779
I'd love to watch you in court. Yeah?
77
00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:16,299
It's just like it is on the telly.
Really? Oh, yeah.
78
00:05:16,300 --> 00:05:18,499
Yeah, good looking jury,
a wise old beak.
79
00:05:18,500 --> 00:05:21,099
Me on the stand,
being viciously cross-examined
80
00:05:21,100 --> 00:05:23,661
by a curiously sexy Glenn Close.
81
00:05:30,260 --> 00:05:32,099
Shit!
82
00:05:32,100 --> 00:05:34,299
What? My boss.
I don't want to be late.
83
00:05:34,300 --> 00:05:38,619
Not when he's so pleased with me
already. I'll call you later. OK.
84
00:05:38,620 --> 00:05:40,661
Give my regards to Glenn!
85
00:05:44,780 --> 00:05:45,819
Morning.
86
00:05:45,820 --> 00:05:49,061
Morning. My office, five minutes.
87
00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:56,299
Is this it?
88
00:05:56,300 --> 00:05:57,941
I guess so.
89
00:05:59,140 --> 00:06:01,061
Is it legit?
90
00:06:06,780 --> 00:06:11,461
Oh, my God! This is amazing!
91
00:06:14,420 --> 00:06:16,581
Nice one, Sadie.
92
00:06:19,100 --> 00:06:22,099
You should shag
a letting agent more often. Yeah!
93
00:06:22,100 --> 00:06:23,379
Uh!
94
00:06:23,380 --> 00:06:27,581
My world may be turning to shit,
but yes, we have some bongos.
95
00:06:31,340 --> 00:06:34,219
So, no doubt you heard
our bright young intern
96
00:06:34,220 --> 00:06:37,259
had an attack of the vapours
in the office? Yeah.
97
00:06:37,260 --> 00:06:40,219
Yeah, she hasn't been back.
Is she still ill?
98
00:06:40,220 --> 00:06:43,939
Ill? Yeah, well
that's what I assumed. Ketamine.
99
00:06:43,940 --> 00:06:47,899
Sorry? Commonly prescribed by vets
as a horse tranquiliser.
100
00:06:47,900 --> 00:06:50,259
It seems like it's the drug
of choice for our Hayley.
101
00:06:50,260 --> 00:06:54,139
Shit! Really? I had no idea.
102
00:06:54,140 --> 00:06:56,659
No? No! Course not.
103
00:06:56,660 --> 00:07:01,179
I can't believe it. She's bright
and keen and good at her job.
104
00:07:01,180 --> 00:07:02,699
Not any more. I had to fire her.
105
00:07:02,700 --> 00:07:06,899
You see, the thing is, Cat,
you interviewed her, hm?
106
00:07:06,900 --> 00:07:09,099
You recommended her,
she's your protege.
107
00:07:09,100 --> 00:07:11,259
I thought you might've noticed
she was taking drugs in the office.
108
00:07:11,260 --> 00:07:14,539
I didn't notice anything. Obviously.
If I had, I would've done something.
109
00:07:14,540 --> 00:07:17,661
Yeah, you have been
a bit distracted lately.
110
00:07:19,180 --> 00:07:21,099
Is that your new squeeze
I saw this morning?
111
00:07:21,100 --> 00:07:24,179
Her name's Sam. Sam?
Yeah, that's right, yeah.
112
00:07:24,180 --> 00:07:27,939
Which of the noble Sapphic
professions does Sam belong to?
113
00:07:27,940 --> 00:07:30,859
Social worker? PE teacher?
Freelance yoghurt maker?
114
00:07:30,860 --> 00:07:33,299
She's a Detective Sergeant. Oh!
115
00:07:33,300 --> 00:07:37,379
Well, maybe she'll be able to
give you a few pointers next time.
116
00:07:37,380 --> 00:07:39,621
How to spot suspicious behaviour?
117
00:07:41,140 --> 00:07:44,859
So what it's like
working at Cat and Jay's?
118
00:07:44,860 --> 00:07:48,979
Fascinating. I'm the Annie Leibovitz
of architectural photography.
119
00:07:48,980 --> 00:07:51,059
Well, at least you've got a job.
120
00:07:51,060 --> 00:07:52,619
What are you up to today?
121
00:07:52,620 --> 00:07:55,899
Thought I'd take a spin
round the Italian Centre.
122
00:07:55,900 --> 00:07:57,459
New handbag, haircut.
123
00:07:57,460 --> 00:08:01,419
Just a bit of fun with
my never-ending disposable income.
Enjoy that. I will.
124
00:08:01,420 --> 00:08:06,699
Then again, I might just watch Lou
on the telly and drink my own body
weight in gin. Tess, get over it!
125
00:08:06,700 --> 00:08:09,659
Plenty more lesbians in the loch.
Mm? You reckon!
126
00:08:09,660 --> 00:08:12,101
Trouble with you is
you don't know where to look.
127
00:08:18,340 --> 00:08:19,941
Ah.
128
00:08:22,180 --> 00:08:24,739
There you go.
"What you want, when you want it."
129
00:08:24,740 --> 00:08:25,779
Easy as ordering a pizza.
130
00:08:25,780 --> 00:08:28,939
No. Absolutely not.
I'm not that desperate.
131
00:08:28,940 --> 00:08:30,899
It's full of skanks and psychos.
132
00:08:30,900 --> 00:08:34,019
What d'you want your
user name to be? Clitoris.
133
00:08:34,020 --> 00:08:36,939
And how are you spelling that?
Frankie, I don't want to do it.
134
00:08:36,940 --> 00:08:38,219
What's the alternative?
135
00:08:38,220 --> 00:08:41,819
Sitting round here, pining after
someone you can't have? Yeah.
136
00:08:41,820 --> 00:08:43,619
It doesn't work.
137
00:08:43,620 --> 00:08:46,461
Just put a profile up
and see what happens.
138
00:08:47,700 --> 00:08:49,739
Ah, OK.
139
00:08:49,740 --> 00:08:51,219
What you looking for?
140
00:08:51,220 --> 00:08:54,259
Friendship first? Fun?
141
00:08:54,260 --> 00:08:55,301
Fisting?
142
00:08:56,860 --> 00:08:58,741
Fisting.
143
00:09:02,260 --> 00:09:04,099
Did you know about Hayley?
144
00:09:04,100 --> 00:09:05,779
Hayley? What about her?
145
00:09:05,780 --> 00:09:08,299
She was off her tits.
Ketamine, for chrissake.
146
00:09:08,300 --> 00:09:10,539
Who said that? Alistair.
147
00:09:10,540 --> 00:09:12,859
That's why she keeled over
the other day.
148
00:09:12,860 --> 00:09:14,739
Did you know she was on something?
149
00:09:14,740 --> 00:09:18,379
No, of course not. How would I know?
Exactly!
150
00:09:18,380 --> 00:09:21,899
Why would you take drugs in
the office anyway? Stupid girl!
151
00:09:21,900 --> 00:09:23,819
God, I hope she's all right.
152
00:09:23,820 --> 00:09:27,059
I don't know why you're so worried.
It's not your fault.
153
00:09:27,060 --> 00:09:28,819
That's not what Alistair thinks.
154
00:09:28,820 --> 00:09:32,419
He's been weird with me ever since
I turned down his weekend cottage.
155
00:09:32,420 --> 00:09:34,299
Sheep shagging in Shetland.
156
00:09:34,300 --> 00:09:35,619
Then he finally susses I'm gay,
157
00:09:35,620 --> 00:09:37,699
it's given him a whole
new stick to beat me with.
158
00:09:37,700 --> 00:09:40,461
Listen, don't worry about it,
it'll all blow over.
159
00:10:04,300 --> 00:10:06,059
I was right.
160
00:10:06,060 --> 00:10:10,019
I've just been browsing members
in this area and they're all...
161
00:10:10,020 --> 00:10:12,099
What's that? Nothing.
162
00:10:12,100 --> 00:10:14,379
Are you OK?
163
00:10:14,380 --> 00:10:16,301
I'm going to go to work.
164
00:10:36,900 --> 00:10:40,059
Listen, don't tell Cat
about Hayley, OK? Why?
165
00:10:40,060 --> 00:10:41,259
Alistair's blaming her,
166
00:10:41,260 --> 00:10:43,819
she doesn't need to know
I had anything to do with it.
167
00:10:43,820 --> 00:10:45,939
What? So Cat takes all the flak
while you waltz away?
168
00:10:45,940 --> 00:10:47,459
It's not like that.
169
00:10:47,460 --> 00:10:48,619
Ssh.
170
00:10:48,620 --> 00:10:50,019
Hiya.
171
00:10:50,020 --> 00:10:51,819
Oh!
172
00:10:51,820 --> 00:10:53,421
Thanks.
173
00:10:54,980 --> 00:10:58,579
I've downloaded the images
from the Haybridge Court Project,
174
00:10:58,580 --> 00:11:00,461
so we can take a look at them now.
175
00:11:01,820 --> 00:11:05,859
What? You. Straight to business.
It's not like you.
176
00:11:05,860 --> 00:11:07,659
What's that supposed to mean?
177
00:11:07,660 --> 00:11:12,341
Frankie. I'm just trying
to do my job, all right? Christ!
178
00:11:14,020 --> 00:11:16,541
What's the matter?
179
00:11:27,660 --> 00:11:31,179
Frankie, what's going on?
And don't say nothing.
180
00:11:31,180 --> 00:11:32,219
Nothing.
181
00:11:32,220 --> 00:11:35,421
You're a crap liar. Come on,
you're all over the place.
182
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:43,741
All right. You want to know
what's going on?
183
00:11:46,500 --> 00:11:48,179
I'm dead.
184
00:11:48,180 --> 00:11:49,421
What?
185
00:11:56,140 --> 00:11:59,419
I don't understand,
the date on this...?
186
00:11:59,420 --> 00:12:02,099
The same day my parents died.
The car crash.
187
00:12:02,100 --> 00:12:06,419
Francesca Alan died on the same day
as her parents.
188
00:12:06,420 --> 00:12:08,499
But you survived.
Your aunt and uncle...
189
00:12:08,500 --> 00:12:10,779
Took me in. Little orphan Frankie.
190
00:12:10,780 --> 00:12:13,301
No, no, they didn't
because she was dead.
191
00:12:17,300 --> 00:12:18,339
Frankie...
192
00:12:18,340 --> 00:12:20,541
Fuck! This is...
193
00:12:22,500 --> 00:12:25,739
So you're not who they said,
who they told you you were?
194
00:12:25,740 --> 00:12:29,059
It's a total mindfuck. Yeah.
195
00:12:29,060 --> 00:12:31,259
Yeah, it is.
196
00:12:31,260 --> 00:12:34,819
But you know what?
I'm not even surprised.
197
00:12:34,820 --> 00:12:36,741
What d'you mean?
198
00:12:37,740 --> 00:12:44,099
I always knew that there was
something that they weren't
telling me, some secret.
199
00:12:44,100 --> 00:12:47,019
Conversations would stop
when I walked into rooms,
200
00:12:47,020 --> 00:12:49,179
closed doors and whisperings and...
201
00:12:49,180 --> 00:12:51,819
I'm just trying to make sense of it.
202
00:12:51,820 --> 00:12:55,779
This... And the photo album.
203
00:12:55,780 --> 00:12:59,501
So who is she? Your aunt wanted her
to have the photos.
204
00:13:02,020 --> 00:13:07,219
Do you think
she could be your mother?
205
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:08,821
Your real mother?
206
00:13:10,900 --> 00:13:14,779
Frankie, it's OK. No, it's not!
207
00:13:14,780 --> 00:13:17,381
That's the one thing it's not.
208
00:13:19,460 --> 00:13:22,739
Later in the programme we'll be
talking to life coach Debbie Spatz,
209
00:13:22,740 --> 00:13:24,579
about the joy of spontaneous living.
210
00:13:24,580 --> 00:13:29,259
What the hell does Lou know about
spontaneous living? Scheming witch!
211
00:13:29,260 --> 00:13:30,901
Mute her! Mute her!
212
00:13:32,700 --> 00:13:35,499
Look at how much make-up
they've put on to cover the bruise!
213
00:13:35,500 --> 00:13:37,379
Don't mess with The Fist!
214
00:13:37,380 --> 00:13:39,899
Feeble exterior
of a young Woody Allen,
215
00:13:39,900 --> 00:13:41,739
awesome fire power of Vin Diesel.
216
00:13:41,740 --> 00:13:43,539
COMPUTER PINGS
217
00:13:43,540 --> 00:13:45,179
What's that?
218
00:13:45,180 --> 00:13:48,579
Nothing. It's Frankie trying
to get me back on the scene.
219
00:13:48,580 --> 00:13:50,259
Internet dating? I know.
220
00:13:50,260 --> 00:13:53,379
Seriously, I mean, you should
look at some of these girls.
221
00:13:53,380 --> 00:13:57,099
Most of them are just desperate hets
after a free lezzy floor show.
222
00:13:57,100 --> 00:13:59,021
How can you tell? Easy, look.
223
00:14:03,340 --> 00:14:05,099
Like hell she's bi.
224
00:14:05,100 --> 00:14:07,859
Why the hell do they have to
have a dog in the picture?
225
00:14:07,860 --> 00:14:10,499
I do find spaniels
particularly erotic.
226
00:14:10,500 --> 00:14:14,179
Oh, and then there's this one.
My favourite.
227
00:14:14,180 --> 00:14:19,179
Berlin Mary. "Back in Glasgow.
Zis time I am super horny.
228
00:14:19,180 --> 00:14:23,539
"First we will have the sex. Then
we will proceed to the next level."
229
00:14:23,540 --> 00:14:24,939
COMPUTER PINGS
230
00:14:24,940 --> 00:14:27,579
What's that? It just means
someone's interested.
231
00:14:27,580 --> 00:14:31,339
Don't get excited,
it'll just be another minger.
232
00:14:31,340 --> 00:14:34,379
She's all right. Really?
233
00:14:34,380 --> 00:14:37,339
She is, isn't she? She's hot.
234
00:14:37,340 --> 00:14:38,859
Do you think she's hot?
235
00:14:38,860 --> 00:14:40,779
COMPUTER PINGS
236
00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:44,259
She wants to chat. I can't do it, my
fingers are sweaty. You do it. No!
237
00:14:44,260 --> 00:14:46,939
Go on, you're the writer.
Write something funny, witty, sexy
238
00:14:46,940 --> 00:14:49,379
so she'll think I'm fantastic
and want to go out with me.
239
00:14:49,380 --> 00:14:51,979
Actually, I have to go.
What? Where are you going?
240
00:14:51,980 --> 00:14:53,379
I've got a date. What?
241
00:14:53,380 --> 00:14:56,019
At three o'clock in the afternoon?
You never said.
242
00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:59,419
I don't tell you everything.
Except that you do.
243
00:14:59,420 --> 00:15:00,699
Who's the lucky girl?
244
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:04,539
Melanie.
In my creative writing class.
245
00:15:04,540 --> 00:15:06,059
She's really nice.
246
00:15:06,060 --> 00:15:07,619
Obsessed with Philip Roth.
247
00:15:07,620 --> 00:15:11,539
Oh, I love him! Pulp Fiction.
That scene in the diner. Remember?
248
00:15:11,540 --> 00:15:13,019
No, that's Tim Roth.
249
00:15:13,020 --> 00:15:16,339
I'm talking about Philip Roth.
Celebrated New York Jewish novelist,
250
00:15:16,340 --> 00:15:17,379
not a bloody actor.
251
00:15:17,380 --> 00:15:19,059
All right! Don't get punchy.
252
00:15:19,060 --> 00:15:24,859
Is this what you're going to be like
since your little street fight?
I'm off. Enjoy your internet date.
253
00:15:24,860 --> 00:15:27,101
I never said
I was going to meet her!
254
00:15:34,380 --> 00:15:36,099
Why don't I talk to Sam?
255
00:15:36,100 --> 00:15:40,699
No. Why not? Least she could see
if Annie Cawthorne's ever come up?
256
00:15:40,700 --> 00:15:42,179
You have an address for her.
257
00:15:42,180 --> 00:15:44,779
Don't tell her.
I don't want anyone to know, OK?
258
00:15:44,780 --> 00:15:47,461
Then how else are you going to
find out who she is?
259
00:15:49,020 --> 00:15:50,859
Do you think she'd even do it?
260
00:15:50,860 --> 00:15:52,299
Probably, if I asked her.
261
00:15:52,300 --> 00:15:55,299
You've got her wrapped around
your finger, have you?
262
00:15:55,300 --> 00:15:58,339
No. Sam's a grown-up.
263
00:15:58,340 --> 00:16:02,379
In fact this might be my first
attempt at a grown-up relationship.
264
00:16:02,380 --> 00:16:05,499
And before you say it,
that doesn't mean it's boring.
265
00:16:05,500 --> 00:16:09,299
Yeah, I wasn't going to say that.
I'm pleased for you.
266
00:16:09,300 --> 00:16:10,939
No, you're not!
267
00:16:10,940 --> 00:16:13,781
Well, someone should be happy.
It might as well be you.
268
00:16:16,420 --> 00:16:18,299
So how's the new place?
269
00:16:18,300 --> 00:16:20,299
It's mental. Massive.
270
00:16:20,300 --> 00:16:23,979
You should drop by sometime,
take a look.
271
00:16:23,980 --> 00:16:25,621
Yeah. Yeah, I might.
272
00:16:34,100 --> 00:16:35,339
Maths homework?
273
00:16:35,340 --> 00:16:38,059
Becky's arranged for us to see
a mortgage adviser.
274
00:16:38,060 --> 00:16:40,539
God, it's fun all the way
with you two.
275
00:16:40,540 --> 00:16:42,699
Oh, God!
276
00:16:42,700 --> 00:16:47,099
You know how long it's going to
take me to pay this...thing off?
277
00:16:47,100 --> 00:16:48,779
30 years!
278
00:16:48,780 --> 00:16:52,859
30 years of fucking wage slaving.
279
00:16:52,860 --> 00:16:54,819
Not to mention your other costs.
280
00:16:54,820 --> 00:16:57,579
What? Your nanny. Your vets bills.
281
00:16:57,580 --> 00:16:59,461
Your 2.4 are going to want a pet.
282
00:17:03,300 --> 00:17:04,539
Hi, Sam, it's me.
283
00:17:04,540 --> 00:17:07,459
Good. Can you do me a favour?
284
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:10,259
I just need you to look someone up.
Is that OK?
285
00:17:10,260 --> 00:17:12,659
Oh, it's not for me.
286
00:17:12,660 --> 00:17:14,899
It's for one of the secretaries.
287
00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:16,821
Annie Cawthorne.
288
00:17:17,820 --> 00:17:19,861
48 Claydon Court...
289
00:17:21,780 --> 00:17:24,219
Ashmill Estate...
290
00:17:24,220 --> 00:17:25,261
Glasgow.
291
00:17:26,300 --> 00:17:28,579
Talk to anyone
who's done internet dating,
292
00:17:28,580 --> 00:17:31,139
we've all got war stories. And you?
293
00:17:31,140 --> 00:17:34,579
Right, the worst was this teacher.
Faye.
294
00:17:34,580 --> 00:17:37,259
Great profile,
talked for ages online.
295
00:17:37,260 --> 00:17:39,859
In the flesh she was like something
out of Jane Austen.
296
00:17:39,860 --> 00:17:44,019
Yeah, but underneath the corset...?
We didn't get that far, believe me.
297
00:17:44,020 --> 00:17:45,779
I knew as soon as I met her
298
00:17:45,780 --> 00:17:48,541
she didn't have the right
sense of adventure.
299
00:17:49,980 --> 00:17:54,339
You're adventurous, aren't you, Tess?
Mmm, yeah, course.
300
00:17:54,340 --> 00:17:56,179
You want another?
301
00:17:56,180 --> 00:17:57,779
Yeah. I'll get them.
302
00:17:57,780 --> 00:18:00,101
You stay here and enjoy the view.
303
00:18:04,660 --> 00:18:06,741
Two Ezos, please.
304
00:18:08,580 --> 00:18:09,659
Hi.
305
00:18:09,660 --> 00:18:11,301
Hi.
306
00:18:12,820 --> 00:18:14,621
You look familiar.
307
00:18:16,020 --> 00:18:18,661
No, I don't think so. Maybe.
308
00:18:23,220 --> 00:18:24,341
Ooh.
309
00:18:30,700 --> 00:18:32,659
So then I did my dissertation
310
00:18:32,660 --> 00:18:35,979
on post-modern identity
in the American novel
311
00:18:35,980 --> 00:18:39,501
and that's when I really fell
in love with Roth. Wow.
312
00:18:41,860 --> 00:18:43,379
What?
313
00:18:43,380 --> 00:18:45,819
You've got a bit of crisp
on your lip.
314
00:18:45,820 --> 00:18:47,259
There?
315
00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:49,899
No, it's just underneath.
316
00:18:49,900 --> 00:18:51,181
Do you want me to?
317
00:18:53,660 --> 00:18:54,701
Thanks.
318
00:18:56,820 --> 00:18:59,939
I had a date
in a coffee shop once
319
00:18:59,940 --> 00:19:03,859
and I thought it had gone really
well, but when I went to the loos,
320
00:19:03,860 --> 00:19:07,979
I realised I had chocolate from
my cappuccino all over my lip.
321
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,739
A little cocoa Hitler moustache?
322
00:19:09,740 --> 00:19:13,419
No, big curly whirly
impresario affair.
323
00:19:13,420 --> 00:19:15,021
Fetching!
324
00:19:16,620 --> 00:19:19,099
I've got a friend called Tess.
325
00:19:19,100 --> 00:19:21,179
She's an actress.
326
00:19:21,180 --> 00:19:24,739
She did this play once where
she had to wear a false beard,
327
00:19:24,740 --> 00:19:26,299
a big bushy white thing.
328
00:19:26,300 --> 00:19:30,379
Trouble is, they stuck it on with the
wrong stuff, superglue or something,
329
00:19:30,380 --> 00:19:32,339
she was wispy for weeks.
330
00:19:32,340 --> 00:19:33,699
Oh, my God!
331
00:19:33,700 --> 00:19:36,939
No, she liked it. She said
it made her feel Christmassy.
332
00:19:36,940 --> 00:19:38,499
She sounds mental.
333
00:19:38,500 --> 00:19:44,741
Yeah, she is. She's great,
but she's also...frustrating.
334
00:19:45,740 --> 00:19:49,659
She's one of these people
who can't see what's right
in front of her, you know?
335
00:19:49,660 --> 00:19:52,341
Like she can't appreciate
what she's already got.
336
00:19:58,100 --> 00:19:59,419
Do you want another?
337
00:19:59,420 --> 00:20:01,061
Er... Yeah!
338
00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:17,901
Over the top, over the top.
339
00:20:28,980 --> 00:20:30,301
Whoa!
340
00:20:31,500 --> 00:20:32,739
Turn it round. Eh?
341
00:20:32,740 --> 00:20:34,739
The other way.
342
00:20:34,740 --> 00:20:35,941
Um...
343
00:20:37,500 --> 00:20:39,221
What the fuck?
344
00:20:42,020 --> 00:20:43,219
All right, hen.
345
00:20:43,220 --> 00:20:46,739
Sorry, um... Who is this?
346
00:20:46,740 --> 00:20:48,259
This is Dougie.
347
00:20:48,260 --> 00:20:49,299
Douglas.
348
00:20:49,300 --> 00:20:53,619
My husband, but don't worry, he just
likes to watch. Now where were we?
349
00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:56,659
No, no, no, I'm sorry.
I thought you were gay.
350
00:20:56,660 --> 00:20:58,379
We're more...
351
00:20:58,380 --> 00:20:59,579
bi-curious.
352
00:20:59,580 --> 00:21:00,659
BANGING
353
00:21:00,660 --> 00:21:02,379
Whoa! What was that?
354
00:21:02,380 --> 00:21:04,179
It's just Lady. What lady?
355
00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:07,419
No, Lady! Our Allie.
Our German Shepherd.
356
00:21:07,420 --> 00:21:09,819
Goes a bit frantic when
we shut him in the kitchen.
357
00:21:09,820 --> 00:21:11,421
Um, I think I'm...
358
00:21:14,300 --> 00:21:16,499
You see! This is my problem.
359
00:21:16,500 --> 00:21:20,339
Why don't you look at me
like that any more?
360
00:21:20,340 --> 00:21:22,739
HOWLING
361
00:21:22,740 --> 00:21:25,179
It's like Roth's books.
362
00:21:25,180 --> 00:21:27,739
They're almost anti-love stories.
Yeah.
363
00:21:27,740 --> 00:21:33,019
You know? The pain, the...
The inescapable despair of desire.
364
00:21:33,020 --> 00:21:38,139
Yeah. How... How love fractures us.
Yeah. Leaves us in pieces. Doomed.
365
00:21:38,140 --> 00:21:40,021
It's doomed to failure.
366
00:21:41,260 --> 00:21:43,099
I just find it...
367
00:21:43,100 --> 00:21:44,661
Captivating.
- Depressing.
368
00:21:50,100 --> 00:21:51,259
Another drink?
369
00:21:51,260 --> 00:21:54,619
Erm... No, I'd better not.
I've got an early lecture tomorrow.
370
00:21:54,620 --> 00:21:58,979
You're good. I've a friend called
Tess. She doesn't know when to stop.
371
00:21:58,980 --> 00:22:03,019
Spirits and then shots
and that's when she gets really wild.
372
00:22:03,020 --> 00:22:05,099
You know, like really self obsessed.
373
00:22:05,100 --> 00:22:09,141
Like she's the only one in the world,
the only one that matters.
374
00:22:10,140 --> 00:22:11,421
Are you going already?
375
00:22:12,820 --> 00:22:14,979
It's been great.
376
00:22:14,980 --> 00:22:16,621
A really great date.
377
00:22:19,340 --> 00:22:20,539
Can we do this again?
378
00:22:20,540 --> 00:22:22,101
Look, I'll call you.
379
00:22:30,020 --> 00:22:31,861
You see, this is marriage, Tess.
380
00:22:33,020 --> 00:22:35,539
First the excitement goes,
then the passion.
381
00:22:35,540 --> 00:22:38,699
Baby, dunnae...
Don't "baby" me, I'm serious.
382
00:22:38,700 --> 00:22:39,901
Um, can I just...
383
00:22:42,420 --> 00:22:43,539
Thanks.
384
00:22:43,540 --> 00:22:46,259
That's why we thought
about the internet dating.
385
00:22:46,260 --> 00:22:48,779
It hasn't gone as well
as we hoped, has it, Doug?
386
00:22:48,780 --> 00:22:52,299
Douglas, at least look at me
while I'm talking to you!
387
00:22:52,300 --> 00:22:56,939
Well, look, I... I think it's really
great that you're trying. Do you?
388
00:22:56,940 --> 00:22:58,499
Yeah, yeah!
389
00:22:58,500 --> 00:23:01,499
Anything you can do
to keep the passion alive.
390
00:23:01,500 --> 00:23:03,379
It's like cooking, isn't it?
391
00:23:03,380 --> 00:23:05,939
You can have shepherd's pie
every night,
392
00:23:05,940 --> 00:23:08,019
but why not add a little spice?
393
00:23:08,020 --> 00:23:13,501
Some chilli, pepper,
a bit of turmeric...
394
00:23:14,900 --> 00:23:17,979
Aye, that's very good.
That's very profound.
395
00:23:17,980 --> 00:23:21,339
You should be on the television,
Tess. You're very good at this.
396
00:23:21,340 --> 00:23:23,779
Cos that's all I want.
397
00:23:23,780 --> 00:23:25,459
To make Dougie happy.
398
00:23:25,460 --> 00:23:27,819
Aye, me too, Hen.
399
00:23:27,820 --> 00:23:29,339
Me, too.
400
00:23:29,340 --> 00:23:31,179
Um...
401
00:23:31,180 --> 00:23:32,661
I'll just let myself out.
402
00:23:39,140 --> 00:23:43,419
Sorry, I didn't realise
it had gotten so late.
403
00:23:43,420 --> 00:23:44,659
I should've rung you.
404
00:23:44,660 --> 00:23:46,899
It's all right. You OK?
405
00:23:46,900 --> 00:23:51,459
Just about. Their defence barrister
is a bitch in horsehair.
406
00:23:51,460 --> 00:23:53,421
My brain hurts.
407
00:23:54,420 --> 00:23:56,141
Poor brain.
408
00:23:57,100 --> 00:23:59,421
Do you want a drink? Yes.
409
00:24:04,260 --> 00:24:05,819
Sam? Mmm?
410
00:24:05,820 --> 00:24:08,019
I was just wondering
if you had a chance
411
00:24:08,020 --> 00:24:10,339
to do that thing for me,
look up that name?
412
00:24:10,340 --> 00:24:12,459
Mm, I did.
413
00:24:12,460 --> 00:24:14,381
Great, thank you so much.
414
00:24:16,580 --> 00:24:18,141
So did you find anything out?
415
00:24:19,980 --> 00:24:22,459
The only Cawthorne
registered to that address
416
00:24:22,460 --> 00:24:24,539
is an alias for an Alma Carter.
417
00:24:24,540 --> 00:24:27,139
Alias? She's a criminal?
418
00:24:27,140 --> 00:24:28,939
Yeah, small time.
419
00:24:28,940 --> 00:24:31,059
She's got a couple of priors
for theft,
420
00:24:31,060 --> 00:24:34,259
but we're talking way back,
30 years or more.
421
00:24:34,260 --> 00:24:36,381
Thanks. Thanks for doing that.
422
00:24:38,380 --> 00:24:39,421
No problem.
423
00:24:42,860 --> 00:24:45,379
Who did you say it was for?
424
00:24:45,380 --> 00:24:47,219
You said it was someone at work?
425
00:24:47,220 --> 00:24:49,419
Yeah. Yeah, just one
of the secretaries.
426
00:24:49,420 --> 00:24:51,221
She's having a few family issues.
427
00:24:52,460 --> 00:24:54,101
It's nice of you to help her.
428
00:24:57,900 --> 00:24:59,459
SIREN
429
00:24:59,460 --> 00:25:01,341
DOOR BUZZES
430
00:25:15,020 --> 00:25:17,339
Hey.
Don't look too pleased to see me.
431
00:25:17,340 --> 00:25:20,899
Sorry.
Or were you expecting someone else?
432
00:25:20,900 --> 00:25:24,019
No, I just... I didn't know
you were coming, that's all.
433
00:25:24,020 --> 00:25:26,939
Wanted to see how you were
settling in? Like it?
434
00:25:26,940 --> 00:25:28,619
Yeah, it's all right. Yeah.
435
00:25:28,620 --> 00:25:31,379
All right? It fucking rocks!
436
00:25:31,380 --> 00:25:33,341
Do you know how lucky you are
to be shagging me?
437
00:25:36,420 --> 00:25:39,301
To another satisfied client.
438
00:25:53,340 --> 00:25:55,179
What?
439
00:25:55,180 --> 00:25:57,139
Let's just have a drink, yeah?
440
00:25:57,140 --> 00:26:00,059
Don't worry, I can multi-task.
441
00:26:00,060 --> 00:26:02,939
Yeah. Sadie, don't.
442
00:26:02,940 --> 00:26:05,419
Come on, is this all the thanks
I'm going to get?
443
00:26:05,420 --> 00:26:08,139
What? So I've got to fuck you
just cos you found me a flat?
444
00:26:08,140 --> 00:26:09,579
Cos I didn't ask you to.
445
00:26:09,580 --> 00:26:12,299
For God's sake,
that's not what I meant.
446
00:26:12,300 --> 00:26:15,259
What's wrong with you tonight?
Nothing's wrong with me.
447
00:26:15,260 --> 00:26:17,181
I'm just not in the mood.
448
00:26:21,260 --> 00:26:22,899
Suit yourself.
449
00:26:22,900 --> 00:26:24,341
Your loss.
450
00:26:42,740 --> 00:26:44,659
What did I do to deserve this?
451
00:26:44,660 --> 00:26:46,621
I just felt like it.
452
00:26:49,380 --> 00:26:51,501
Ah, that is good.
453
00:26:52,140 --> 00:26:55,579
Mm, my first and last
decent cup of the day.
454
00:26:55,580 --> 00:26:58,059
The coffee at court tastes vile.
455
00:26:58,060 --> 00:26:59,499
I can make you a flask?
456
00:26:59,500 --> 00:27:02,261
Let's wait till
we're really middle-aged.
457
00:27:03,740 --> 00:27:07,501
Hey, don't forget
this Annie Cawthorne stuff.
458
00:27:18,100 --> 00:27:19,139
Want some?
459
00:27:19,140 --> 00:27:20,499
I made it for you.
460
00:27:20,500 --> 00:27:23,141
Yeah, and I want to share it.
461
00:27:28,700 --> 00:27:30,139
Oh, shit. What?
462
00:27:30,140 --> 00:27:32,379
Oh, God!
463
00:27:32,380 --> 00:27:36,299
What's the problem?
Lunch with my parents! Today!
464
00:27:36,300 --> 00:27:38,501
That's the problem. Your parents?
465
00:27:40,580 --> 00:27:43,661
You could come with me. What?
466
00:27:45,860 --> 00:27:48,061
You're my girlfriend.
You should meet my parents.
467
00:27:50,460 --> 00:27:51,501
Are you sure?
468
00:27:52,460 --> 00:27:53,979
I'm sure.
469
00:27:53,980 --> 00:27:55,421
I'll call you later.
470
00:28:33,380 --> 00:28:34,981
Shit!
471
00:28:45,300 --> 00:28:47,499
Now you remember the time, right?
472
00:28:47,500 --> 00:28:51,419
And please try to stay tidy
because we need to look
serious and committed.
473
00:28:51,420 --> 00:28:53,659
Committed?
You should be in that tie.
474
00:28:53,660 --> 00:28:56,379
Thanks, Frankie, always nice to have
your support.
475
00:28:56,380 --> 00:28:58,179
We're meeting our
financial advisor later.
476
00:28:58,180 --> 00:29:00,099
Three o'clock. Don't be late.
477
00:29:00,100 --> 00:29:01,621
I won't.
478
00:29:04,540 --> 00:29:07,419
Dead Man Walking.
479
00:29:07,420 --> 00:29:10,739
It's a mortgage, Frankie.
Not a death sentence.
480
00:29:10,740 --> 00:29:12,339
Yeah. Loving the noose.
481
00:29:12,340 --> 00:29:15,979
Look, you can take the piss
all you want but this is not
the end for me, all right?
482
00:29:15,980 --> 00:29:19,979
I have options. Choices.
It's not like I'm stuck on a path.
483
00:29:19,980 --> 00:29:24,221
It's not like I can't get off
if I want to. And do you?
484
00:29:28,180 --> 00:29:30,139
You know Hayley?
485
00:29:30,140 --> 00:29:34,579
She snogged me. Did she? No wonder
she had to take drugs. Frankie?
486
00:29:34,580 --> 00:29:37,581
Um, Sam looked up
that thing you wanted.
487
00:29:41,460 --> 00:29:46,859
Annie Cawthorne's an alias
for somebody called Alma Carter.
488
00:29:46,860 --> 00:29:48,979
She has convictions.
489
00:29:48,980 --> 00:29:52,539
Theft, but they're ancient,
like 30 years ago.
490
00:29:52,540 --> 00:29:54,699
She's a criminal? Was.
491
00:29:54,700 --> 00:29:59,299
Was. Sam said that these things on
the record, they're from ages ago,
492
00:29:59,300 --> 00:30:03,859
so they probably don't count. Great.
That's just great. So I'm dead,
493
00:30:03,860 --> 00:30:08,339
I'm connected to a criminal and
there's some strange drug dealer
bloke that keeps following me.
494
00:30:08,340 --> 00:30:10,101
What bloke?
495
00:30:11,620 --> 00:30:15,341
Where are you going?
Where do you think? Frankie.
496
00:30:29,580 --> 00:30:33,299
And how dare they use me
to spice up their marriage?
497
00:30:33,300 --> 00:30:36,339
Like I'm some kind of
lesbian court jester.
498
00:30:36,340 --> 00:30:38,499
Tess, will you hurry up!
My mum's booked the table.
499
00:30:38,500 --> 00:30:41,739
All these crazy femmes who
turn out to be straight and I
never notice, I never guess.
500
00:30:41,740 --> 00:30:43,899
"Sense of adventure"?
501
00:30:43,900 --> 00:30:45,419
That was not an adventure.
502
00:30:45,420 --> 00:30:47,779
And you know the worst thing?
Fine, I'll just wait then.
503
00:30:47,780 --> 00:30:49,459
The worse thing is, I got hit on!
504
00:30:49,460 --> 00:30:53,619
I passed up a really fit lesbian
and for what?
505
00:30:53,620 --> 00:30:57,021
A heterosexual freak show.
506
00:30:58,860 --> 00:31:01,059
Tess,
what the hell are you looking at?
507
00:31:01,060 --> 00:31:03,259
Nothing. Birds.
508
00:31:03,260 --> 00:31:05,179
Flying up in the thing...
509
00:31:05,180 --> 00:31:07,179
Right, OK, I'm ready.
510
00:31:07,180 --> 00:31:08,701
Where's my coat?
511
00:31:10,620 --> 00:31:13,059
Tiramisu with Judy and Gerry.
512
00:31:13,060 --> 00:31:14,699
Who could say no?
513
00:31:14,700 --> 00:31:18,539
I think this is lovely.
514
00:31:18,540 --> 00:31:20,299
Gerry, for goodness' sake.
515
00:31:20,300 --> 00:31:24,579
He likes to build things.
..Gerry? I was just saying,
516
00:31:24,580 --> 00:31:26,259
this is lovely, isn't it?
517
00:31:26,260 --> 00:31:29,299
Yes, it's nice to see you all.
518
00:31:29,300 --> 00:31:32,059
Thank you for making a...
519
00:31:32,060 --> 00:31:34,219
you know.
520
00:31:34,220 --> 00:31:36,739
And to meet Cat's new girlfriend.
521
00:31:36,740 --> 00:31:39,939
Super! And a police woman?
522
00:31:39,940 --> 00:31:43,259
Have you been at "the nick"
this morning, Sam?
523
00:31:43,260 --> 00:31:49,779
Um, actually I've been in court,
giving evidence against
a serial rapist.
524
00:31:49,780 --> 00:31:52,739
Rape. Now that is not very nice.
525
00:31:52,740 --> 00:31:55,979
Conjunctivitis is
not very nice, Mother.
526
00:31:55,980 --> 00:32:00,459
But rape, I think, qualifies as
something slightly worse than that.
527
00:32:00,460 --> 00:32:04,099
She takes things very literally,
our Catherine, always has.
528
00:32:04,100 --> 00:32:07,021
I think she might
be slightly autistic.
529
00:32:42,180 --> 00:32:44,899
So, the police service?
530
00:32:44,900 --> 00:32:49,019
That must be very rewarding,
decent salary? Mum! Please.
531
00:32:49,020 --> 00:32:52,379
It's OK. When you join up, you
know what you let yourself in for.
532
00:32:52,380 --> 00:32:56,739
Public service pay and a polyester
uniform. Winning combination.
533
00:32:56,740 --> 00:32:58,579
Super!
534
00:32:58,580 --> 00:33:03,059
Of course Ed's doing so well
writing his very own science book.
535
00:33:03,060 --> 00:33:06,539
Science fiction, Mum.
That's what I said, darling.
536
00:33:06,540 --> 00:33:08,979
And Tess, still acting?
537
00:33:08,980 --> 00:33:12,739
Oh, you know me, Judy.
I just go with the flow,
like a piece of driftwood.
538
00:33:12,740 --> 00:33:16,899
Ha-ha. Such a free spirit.
539
00:33:16,900 --> 00:33:19,339
And then there's Cat with her...
540
00:33:19,340 --> 00:33:21,739
architecture.
541
00:33:21,740 --> 00:33:23,819
You see, that's the problem.
542
00:33:23,820 --> 00:33:26,579
Very long training, expensive.
543
00:33:26,580 --> 00:33:30,019
It's a big investment for
everyone for uncertain rewards.
544
00:33:30,020 --> 00:33:35,019
Still, you always put your dreams on
hold for your children, don't you?
545
00:33:35,020 --> 00:33:36,939
It must be worth it, Judy?
546
00:33:36,940 --> 00:33:41,339
You know, seeing all that
Catherine's achieved and knowing she
couldn't have done it without you?
547
00:33:41,340 --> 00:33:43,819
Well, yes.
548
00:33:43,820 --> 00:33:49,861
Exactly, yes.
And we're all very proud, yes.
549
00:33:56,500 --> 00:33:58,139
So?
550
00:33:58,140 --> 00:34:01,059
Little Francesca. Can I come in?
551
00:34:01,060 --> 00:34:04,179
You turned your back on us,
young lady.
552
00:34:04,180 --> 00:34:06,741
Our door's always been open to you.
553
00:34:17,180 --> 00:34:19,379
I'm sorry.
554
00:34:19,380 --> 00:34:21,461
The funeral. I was out of line.
555
00:34:25,940 --> 00:34:29,019
I want to ask you something.
556
00:34:29,020 --> 00:34:30,979
About me...
557
00:34:30,980 --> 00:34:34,259
where I came from.
New York, wasn't it?
558
00:34:34,260 --> 00:34:39,139
I find it hard to keep up with you
girls. As a baby. Where you got me.
559
00:34:39,140 --> 00:34:41,299
The birds and the bees, Francesca.
560
00:34:41,300 --> 00:34:42,859
Isn't it a bit late for all that?
561
00:34:42,860 --> 00:34:45,621
I'm not Francesca though, am I?
562
00:35:04,180 --> 00:35:07,141
Where did you get this?
The registry office.
563
00:35:14,180 --> 00:35:17,701
Everything we did
was in your best interests.
564
00:35:25,540 --> 00:35:27,139
And who is Alma Carter?
565
00:35:27,140 --> 00:35:29,499
Is she my mother?
566
00:35:29,500 --> 00:35:31,459
My real mother?
567
00:35:31,460 --> 00:35:33,899
I don't know who you're talking
about. I've never heard of this.
568
00:35:33,900 --> 00:35:39,259
Alma Carter! Aunt Carol sent her
my photo album before she died.
569
00:35:39,260 --> 00:35:41,859
I'm sorry.
570
00:35:41,860 --> 00:35:46,259
Jesus, am I even related to you at
all? Are you anything to do with me?
571
00:35:46,260 --> 00:35:48,099
Oh, hello, Gillian.
572
00:35:48,100 --> 00:35:50,381
You remember my niece?
573
00:35:52,820 --> 00:35:56,979
I'd like to help you so I'm
telling you this for your own good.
574
00:35:56,980 --> 00:36:00,179
Stop looking, asking questions.
575
00:36:00,180 --> 00:36:03,179
You won't like the answer.
576
00:36:03,180 --> 00:36:05,259
Alma Carter's not interested.
577
00:36:05,260 --> 00:36:06,579
Not then.
578
00:36:06,580 --> 00:36:08,619
Not now.
579
00:36:08,620 --> 00:36:11,541
She didn't want you.
580
00:36:44,180 --> 00:36:46,619
Excuse me.
Could we have the bill, please?
581
00:36:46,620 --> 00:36:49,139
Yeah, sure.
582
00:36:49,140 --> 00:36:52,821
Oh, you might want to powder your
nose if you're in there, darling.
583
00:36:56,460 --> 00:37:00,139
She's such an attractive girl Tess,
don't you think, Gerry?
584
00:37:00,140 --> 00:37:03,659
And these two make a
very attractive couple.
585
00:37:03,660 --> 00:37:08,299
Have you thought about it, Edward?
She could be the one? What?
586
00:37:08,300 --> 00:37:10,259
No, no, she's not the one, Mother.
587
00:37:10,260 --> 00:37:12,619
There is no one, OK?
588
00:37:12,620 --> 00:37:15,539
I'm not seeing anyone, not
going anywhere... I'm stuck.
589
00:37:15,540 --> 00:37:17,179
Sorry, isn't Tess...?
590
00:37:17,180 --> 00:37:20,179
Gay? Yes, she is.
As my mother is only too well aware.
591
00:37:20,180 --> 00:37:23,259
I think we're all a bit gay, dear,
aren't we?
592
00:37:23,260 --> 00:37:27,699
That's the trouble with Ed, he lets
everything become an obstacle.
593
00:37:27,700 --> 00:37:29,819
PHONE RINGS
594
00:37:29,820 --> 00:37:31,501
Excuse me.
595
00:37:36,980 --> 00:37:38,101
Hello?
596
00:37:58,540 --> 00:38:01,461
Yeah? Sadie, where are you?
597
00:38:17,900 --> 00:38:21,661
Oi! You stopped being
a moody twat then, have you?
598
00:38:23,740 --> 00:38:26,419
Whose is this place?
Last night's conquest.
599
00:38:26,420 --> 00:38:30,499
A tragic little banker
called Josephine that I
picked up at Babylon.
600
00:38:30,500 --> 00:38:34,139
She was a crap shag though.
All toys and no imagination.
601
00:38:34,140 --> 00:38:36,061
Oh, yeah?
602
00:38:38,740 --> 00:38:41,139
So this Josephine, where is she now?
603
00:38:41,140 --> 00:38:43,779
Don't tell me you've left her
tied up upstairs?
604
00:38:43,780 --> 00:38:48,179
No, she got an early flight to
Charles de Gaulle this morning,
605
00:38:48,180 --> 00:38:50,421
leaving yours truly
holding the keys.
606
00:38:57,100 --> 00:39:01,899
Thank you. For what? You were great.
The way you handled my mother!
607
00:39:01,900 --> 00:39:04,579
Ah well, I guess I've just had a
lot of practice dealing with...
608
00:39:04,580 --> 00:39:07,299
Psychopaths?
Cat, your mother's not a psycho.
609
00:39:07,300 --> 00:39:10,419
She's just more borderline
personality disorder. Really?
610
00:39:10,420 --> 00:39:13,899
So what does that make me? You?
611
00:39:13,900 --> 00:39:15,541
Where do I start?
612
00:39:26,940 --> 00:39:29,379
I can't do this.
613
00:39:29,380 --> 00:39:31,299
You seem to be doing all right.
614
00:39:31,300 --> 00:39:33,539
No, I can't. It's...
615
00:39:33,540 --> 00:39:36,979
You've been
so great today and it just...
616
00:39:36,980 --> 00:39:38,781
makes me feel even shittier.
617
00:39:41,620 --> 00:39:44,779
I lied to you. About what?
618
00:39:44,780 --> 00:39:48,619
That name.
It wasn't for one of the secretaries.
619
00:39:48,620 --> 00:39:51,179
It was for Frankie.
620
00:39:51,180 --> 00:39:53,819
Of course it was.
621
00:39:53,820 --> 00:39:55,781
I was just wondering when
you were going to tell me.
622
00:39:57,580 --> 00:39:59,139
You knew?
623
00:39:59,140 --> 00:40:02,019
What's my job?
624
00:40:02,020 --> 00:40:05,819
I know! And I'm a terrible liar.
It's just...
625
00:40:05,820 --> 00:40:09,739
Frankie asked me
not to tell anyone. About what?
626
00:40:09,740 --> 00:40:14,179
Oh, nothing. It's just she doesn't
want anyone to know about her stuff.
627
00:40:14,180 --> 00:40:18,939
Cat, is there, um... Is there
anything that I need to worry about?
628
00:40:18,940 --> 00:40:23,499
You and Frankie, you know, you
obviously go back a long way and...
629
00:40:23,500 --> 00:40:28,701
She's... She's a friend, that's all.
Not even a very good one.
630
00:40:30,260 --> 00:40:32,019
OK.
631
00:40:32,020 --> 00:40:35,179
But you have
absolutely nothing to worry about.
632
00:40:35,180 --> 00:40:36,701
OK!
633
00:40:38,620 --> 00:40:41,221
Just don't lie to me again.
634
00:40:47,020 --> 00:40:50,099
Do you want to go for a drink? Yeah?
635
00:40:50,100 --> 00:40:53,581
MUSIC BLARING
636
00:40:59,140 --> 00:41:01,341
On your marks! Get your car keys!
637
00:41:32,100 --> 00:41:33,939
Good stuff.
638
00:41:33,940 --> 00:41:37,341
Private prescription,
maximum strength.
639
00:41:39,940 --> 00:41:42,701
Question is, how many do I need?
640
00:41:44,340 --> 00:41:46,381
Depends on how much
you want to forget.
641
00:41:58,180 --> 00:42:02,219
Look at you.
Two cocktails and you're anybody's.
642
00:42:02,220 --> 00:42:06,181
Not anybody's. Yours.
643
00:42:42,700 --> 00:42:45,339
The taxi driver won't like it.
644
00:42:45,340 --> 00:42:48,059
He's a Daily Mail reader.
645
00:42:48,060 --> 00:42:49,821
Fuck him.
646
00:42:53,860 --> 00:42:56,499
No, don't fuck him.
647
00:42:56,500 --> 00:42:58,021
Fuck me.
648
00:43:57,060 --> 00:43:58,979
Frankie?
649
00:43:58,980 --> 00:44:00,981
What the fuck are you doing?
650
00:44:04,660 --> 00:44:08,661
Rape. Now that's not very nice.
651
00:44:09,980 --> 00:44:13,179
Genocide, also not very nice.
652
00:44:13,180 --> 00:44:16,339
Right, I'm off. No, no, no, no!
I haven't said the best bit!
653
00:44:16,340 --> 00:44:20,539
The best bit was when your mum
accused Cat of being autistic.
654
00:44:20,540 --> 00:44:25,619
And then there was your dad,
counting cutlery
like he's in fucking Rainman.
655
00:44:25,620 --> 00:44:27,981
Yay! He smiles!
656
00:44:28,980 --> 00:44:32,059
You know,
you're my best audience, Ed.
657
00:44:32,060 --> 00:44:35,541
In fact you're my only audience,
so you must never leave me.
658
00:44:39,300 --> 00:44:42,539
Do you know what else my mum said?
What?
659
00:44:42,540 --> 00:44:47,579
She said we'd make
a really attractive couple. Mental!
660
00:44:47,580 --> 00:44:48,781
Yeah.
661
00:44:51,660 --> 00:44:54,701
DOOR BUZZER
I'll get it.
662
00:44:58,060 --> 00:45:01,659
Surprise! Ho, ho, ho! Nice pad!
663
00:45:01,660 --> 00:45:04,219
All right, babe? Jay!
664
00:45:04,220 --> 00:45:06,301
Let's get the party started!
665
00:45:12,580 --> 00:45:14,141
Look at the size of this place!
666
00:45:45,540 --> 00:45:47,419
Shave for me.
667
00:45:47,420 --> 00:45:49,181
What?
668
00:45:51,020 --> 00:45:53,499
Everything.
669
00:45:53,500 --> 00:45:55,019
Shave it all off.
670
00:45:55,020 --> 00:45:58,021
I've only got a landing strip.
671
00:46:22,140 --> 00:46:23,661
Open your legs.
672
00:46:25,580 --> 00:46:27,541
Wider.
673
00:46:56,420 --> 00:46:58,301
Lift your head up.
674
00:47:00,260 --> 00:47:03,341
Put your arm behind your head.
675
00:47:36,540 --> 00:47:38,819
KNOCK ON DOOR
676
00:47:38,820 --> 00:47:41,339
Hello?
677
00:47:41,340 --> 00:47:44,539
Josephine, is that you?
678
00:47:44,540 --> 00:47:47,061
It's me, Lainie,
I'm here to feed your fish.
679
00:47:50,260 --> 00:47:52,299
Look, this is a mistake.
680
00:47:52,300 --> 00:47:55,499
We're friends of Jackie's...
Josephine's.
681
00:47:55,500 --> 00:47:59,659
That's not true. I've been cleaning
here for three years.
682
00:47:59,660 --> 00:48:01,979
I've never seen these
people before in my life.
683
00:48:01,980 --> 00:48:04,379
She's lying. How would you know?
684
00:48:04,380 --> 00:48:06,939
We were together last night.
685
00:48:06,940 --> 00:48:09,459
Quite the squealer is Josephine.
686
00:48:09,460 --> 00:48:12,379
I think the best thing would be for
you two to come down to the station.
687
00:48:12,380 --> 00:48:15,219
We'll try and sort all this out,
get in touch with the owner.
688
00:48:15,220 --> 00:48:19,459
Paris, you say? No, no. You don't
want to do that. And why's that?
689
00:48:19,460 --> 00:48:22,981
Call Sam Murray. She's a detective
sergeant. She'll sort this out.
690
00:48:24,700 --> 00:48:31,621
Is that right? Yeah, cos this isn't
what it looks like and I wouldn't
want you to make a mistake.
691
00:48:39,380 --> 00:48:41,259
No! Look...
692
00:48:41,260 --> 00:48:43,059
What are you doing?
Just leave me to deal with this.
693
00:48:43,060 --> 00:48:44,581
I know what I'm doing.
694
00:49:13,700 --> 00:49:18,819
Tess, have we got any crisps?
695
00:49:18,820 --> 00:49:22,819
Sweeties? Brownie mix? Anything?
696
00:49:22,820 --> 00:49:25,059
Tess?
697
00:49:25,060 --> 00:49:29,381
What you looking at? Oh, nothing.
Just another missed opportunity.
698
00:49:32,460 --> 00:49:35,861
How much have you had to drink?
Not enough.
699
00:49:38,860 --> 00:49:41,181
Cheers.
700
00:49:42,340 --> 00:49:46,019
They were left in the house, Clive.
It's implied consent.
701
00:49:46,020 --> 00:49:48,259
I'm just sorry you
got dragged into it.
702
00:49:48,260 --> 00:49:49,781
OK.
703
00:49:56,140 --> 00:50:00,939
Tell me why should I do this? Why
should I have to vouch for you two?
704
00:50:00,940 --> 00:50:04,259
Who is this, Frankie? This?
705
00:50:04,260 --> 00:50:07,179
This is Sadie. My girlfriend.
706
00:50:07,180 --> 00:50:09,579
Your girlfriend, Frankie?
707
00:50:09,580 --> 00:50:13,259
Your standards are dropping.
Piss off.
708
00:50:13,260 --> 00:50:16,461
Just clean up this mess
and get the hell out of here.
709
00:50:19,860 --> 00:50:22,301
I'm so, so sorry.
710
00:50:39,820 --> 00:50:42,461
You cheated! Suck it up.
711
00:50:45,860 --> 00:50:47,941
Yay! Stranger!
712
00:50:50,220 --> 00:50:52,419
What happened to you? Not much.
713
00:50:52,420 --> 00:50:54,739
How was your day?
714
00:50:54,740 --> 00:50:58,059
Fabulous.
You didn't get your mortgage then?
715
00:50:58,060 --> 00:51:00,501
No. We did.
716
00:51:14,180 --> 00:51:16,301
Oh, my God. I need my bed.
717
00:51:17,820 --> 00:51:21,179
The room's spinning.
Have a glass of water.
718
00:51:21,180 --> 00:51:24,259
Have a go on this bad boy.
No, thanks.
719
00:51:24,260 --> 00:51:27,261
Ed, you can stay in
my bed if you want.
720
00:51:28,260 --> 00:51:32,019
I'm going to go home.
Get the last bus.
721
00:51:32,020 --> 00:51:36,579
You should stay. The state she's
in you won't even need rohypnol.
722
00:51:36,580 --> 00:51:40,861
Piss off, Frankie.
See you later, Teddy boy.
723
00:51:43,300 --> 00:51:44,821
See ya.
724
00:51:50,140 --> 00:51:54,981
So...what do you want to do now?
725
00:51:56,500 --> 00:51:58,981
I want another drink.
726
00:52:00,020 --> 00:52:02,819
What's...? I'm sure I saw something.
727
00:52:02,820 --> 00:52:04,899
Yeah, is that... What's that?
Is that tequila?
728
00:52:04,900 --> 00:52:07,699
Looks like tequila!
729
00:52:07,700 --> 00:52:09,661
Urgh, it smells like Domestos.
730
00:52:11,660 --> 00:52:13,021
Aaah!
731
00:52:17,260 --> 00:52:20,859
Christ, I shouldn't drink any more.
732
00:52:20,860 --> 00:52:22,821
Who said?
733
00:52:24,300 --> 00:52:26,619
PHONE RINGS
734
00:52:26,620 --> 00:52:28,179
Oh!
735
00:52:28,180 --> 00:52:29,979
Ring ring!
736
00:52:29,980 --> 00:52:32,701
Becky.
737
00:52:36,020 --> 00:52:38,019
Uh-oh. What's going on with you two?
738
00:52:38,020 --> 00:52:40,379
Nothing, nothing. It's all good.
739
00:52:40,380 --> 00:52:43,379
I love Becky. I do...
740
00:52:43,380 --> 00:52:46,579
At least I think I do.
I'm pretty sure...
741
00:52:46,580 --> 00:52:49,819
But how do you know?
How do you know?
742
00:52:49,820 --> 00:52:52,619
You're asking me?
743
00:52:52,620 --> 00:52:54,219
It's just this...
744
00:52:54,220 --> 00:52:56,619
It's just this moving in thing.
745
00:52:56,620 --> 00:53:01,139
I just feel as if I'm being pushed,
like I'm signing my life away for
something I'm not even sure I want.
746
00:53:01,140 --> 00:53:05,179
It's like my heart says one thing
but my cock's saying another.
747
00:53:05,180 --> 00:53:06,859
Am I making...? I'm...
748
00:53:06,860 --> 00:53:09,101
I'm not making any sense, am I?
749
00:53:12,820 --> 00:53:14,101
Oh, God, I'm pissed.
750
00:53:17,460 --> 00:53:19,419
Get you!
751
00:53:19,420 --> 00:53:21,379
You're so...
752
00:53:21,380 --> 00:53:25,061
controlled. Got it all together.
753
00:53:26,060 --> 00:53:30,219
You what? Good old Frankie.
Doesn't say anything.
754
00:53:30,220 --> 00:53:34,141
Doesn't get sucked in.
Fuck and run Frankie.
755
00:53:38,820 --> 00:53:41,259
You don't know anything.
756
00:53:41,260 --> 00:53:46,819
So, tell me, Frankie,
this love thing.
757
00:53:46,820 --> 00:53:49,779
Is there someone...anyone...
758
00:53:49,780 --> 00:53:54,341
that grabs your heart
and fucks with your head?
759
00:53:55,980 --> 00:53:58,021
Cos I don't know if I can do it.
760
00:54:02,700 --> 00:54:04,941
Frankie?
761
00:54:10,820 --> 00:54:14,501
Cat. It's always been Cat.
762
00:54:17,620 --> 00:54:20,061
Of course it has.
763
00:54:24,820 --> 00:54:27,179
Oi...
764
00:54:27,180 --> 00:54:29,379
Oh, Christ.
765
00:54:29,380 --> 00:54:30,901
Hey...
766
00:54:39,220 --> 00:54:42,579
Poor Frankie.
767
00:54:42,580 --> 00:54:44,539
Poor pissed Frankie
768
00:54:44,540 --> 00:54:46,621
with her sad eyes.
769
00:55:56,980 --> 00:56:00,539
You saw. Couldn't help it.
770
00:56:00,540 --> 00:56:02,299
It was nothing. It was Jay!
771
00:56:02,300 --> 00:56:04,099
It was a fucking mistake!
772
00:56:04,100 --> 00:56:07,939
When did you know that you loved her?
When does anyone know?
773
00:56:07,940 --> 00:56:10,419
There's not much to celebrate.
774
00:56:10,420 --> 00:56:12,779
It's your 30th! Exactly.
Why don't we just do it at my flat?
775
00:56:12,780 --> 00:56:14,539
As long as it doesn't
get too messy again.
776
00:56:14,540 --> 00:56:18,619
Strolling down memory lane
behind Sam's back... I was working!
777
00:56:18,620 --> 00:56:22,819
Why didn't he just like go for it
with her? Would she reciprocate?
778
00:56:22,820 --> 00:56:25,101
Well, you're the writer.
Make it happen.
58163
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