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HERE WE GO.

OKAY...

GO GET YOUR BONE, GO GET YOUR BONE!

GO GET IT!

THAT WAS A GOOD RUN.

WHAT WAS THAT, FIVE K?

THAT MUST BE 35 K IN DOG.

...WELCOME BACK TO "WAKE UP, DENVER"!

AND IF YOU'RE NOT QUITE UP YET,

THIS NEXT SEGMENT IS SURE TO GET YOUR BLOOD PUMPING.

STOPPING BY TO VISIT WITH US TODAY

IS NONE OTHER THAN DR. SUSIE,

BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF "WHAT'S WRONG WITH MR. RIGHT."

AND "CHECKLIST FOR LOVE."

DR. SUSIE WILL BE TALKING TO US ABOUT HER CURRENT BEST-SELLER.

"THE DATER'S HANDBOOK"

A HOW-TO FOR THE MODERN, SINGLE GAL.

WELCOME, DR. SUSIE.

I HAVE READ YOUR BOOK, AND I LOVE IT.

BUT FOR THE AUDIENCE MEMBERSWHO HAVEN'T,

WHY ARE SO MANY WOMENHAVING ISSUES

FINDING THE RIGHT MENIN TODAY'S DATING WORLD?

WELL, LIKE WITHMOST ISSUES IN LIFE,

THE FIRST STEP IS ADMITTINGYOU HAVE A PROBLEM.

NOW, IN THIS CASE,

IT MIGHT BEA LITTLE HARD TO ADMIT,

BECAUSE, LADIES,

THE PROBLEM IS NOTTHE MEN IN YOUR LIFE,

IT'S YOU.

THAT'S RIGHT! YOU!

YOU'RE CHOOSING THE WRONG KIND OF MAN.

YOU'RE PICKING THE REBEL GUY, THE FUN GUY,

THE BROODING ARTIST,

WHEN, REALLY, WHAT YOU NEED IS SOMEONE WHO IS RELIABLE,

RESPONSIBLE, DEPENDABLE.

RELIABLE, RESPONSIBLEAND DEPENDABLE?

DUKE, THAT'S YOU.

THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT YOU.

YOU'RE LOYAL, YOU'RE ALSO LOYAL.

DOG WALKER'S COMING AT NOON.

BYE, DUKE.

HI, BOB.THANK YOU FOR CALLING BACK.

OKAY, HERE IS THE CAPSULE PITCHFOR YOUR LOGO.

THINK ABOUT IT,

EVERY DAY, MILLIONS OF FANSFILL STADIUMS,

DOLING OUTTHEIR HARD-EARNED MONEY

ON THEIR FAVORITE BEVERAGE,

BUT WHEN THEY LOOKINSIDE THEIR CUP,

THEY SEE NOTHING,

SIX BLANK INCHESOF WHITE PLASTIC.

BUT, BOB, WHAT THEY COULD BE SEEING

IS YOUR COMPANY'S LOGO.

NOW, THAT ISPRIME ADVERTISING SPACE,

AND, BOB, THE FIRST PERSONTO CLAIM IT WOULD BE YOU.

MM-HMM.

THAT IS GREAT NEWS.

OKAY, WE CAN HAVETHE LOGOS PRINTED

AND SHIPPED OUT TO YOU BY...

OH, UH...WEDNESDAY THE 15TH.

FRIDAY THE 17TH...

OKAY, GREAT.

WE WILL SEND YOUAND EMAIL CONFIRMATION.

THANK YOU SO MUCHFOR YOUR BUSINESS,

WE APPRECIATE IT.

BYE-BYE.

WE'LL SEND IT ON WEDNESDAY, AND HE'LL LOVE US.

UM, CAN YOU MAKE SURE

THAT FIRST THING MONDAY MORNINGTO EMAIL THOSE GRAPHICS?

OKAY.

OH, UM, ACTUALLY, CASS,

MONDAY DOESN'T WORK FOR ME.

HOW COULD I FORGET?

YES, IT'S YOUR BIG WEEKEND.

YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED.

FINE, GO, ABANDON ME,

AND LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

I CAN NOT STOP DOING THIS.

I'VE TRIED, I CAN'T.

I'M GETTING MARRIED!

I'M GOING TO BEMRS. DANA SCHMOINTZ.

SCHMOINTZ!

MRS. SCHMOINTZ, OKAY!

SHE'S TAKING HIS LAST NAME?

NO HYPHEN?

WHAT KIND OF NAMEIS SCHMOINTZ?

AN ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS ONE.

NO, BUT SHE WAS SO HAPPY.

I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER SEENANYONE THAT EXCITED

ABOUT ANYTHING,

EVER.

I DIDN'T KNOW PEOPLECOULD GET THAT EXCITED.

OF COURSE, SHE'S EXCITED.

MARRYING SCHMOINTZIS HER FAIRY-TALE DREAM.

IT'S KIND OF LIKEOUR WEDDING, HUH, HONEY?

IT WAS A FAIRY TALE.

A DREAM...

NIGHTMARE.

WELL, NAUSEOUS.

THEN I RAN AWAY,

THEN I THREW UP.

YEAH, SHE'S NOT KIDDING

BECAUSE I HAD TO HOLD THE VEIL.

YOU'RE SUCHA GOOD SISTER.

OH, LOOK, HERE COMESYOUR BOYFRIEND,

BEARING GIFTS.

YOU GUYS HAVE TO TRY THESE.

CILANTRO-SESAME-HONEYCHICKEN WINGS.

AND BECAUSE I CAN'THANG WITH YOU

BECAUSE WE'RESHORT-STAFFED,

THESE ARE ON THE HOUSE.

NICE, WELL, WE LIKE FREE.

UH, WELL, YOU KNOWI LOVE WINGS,

I JUST, I CAN'THAVE THEM BECAUSE...

BECAUSE OF THE HONEY.

DUH, SHE'S ALLERGIC?

HMM.

IT'S, UH...YEAH, THEY'RE INTERESTING.

-INTERESTING...-TANGY.

GREAT, OKAY, SO HERE'S WHATI'M THINKING TOMORROW, GUYS,

COLLEGE GAMES STARTAT 11:00, RIGHT?

PICK UP SOME SUBS,

GET IN FRONT OFA BIG SCREEN,

BOOM, FOOTBALL MARATHON.

BOOM, WE ARE SO IN.

WE HAVE TWO BIRTHDAYPARTIES TOMORROW.

WE ARE SO OUT

'CAUSE OFTHE BIRTHDAY PARTIES.

AND WE HAVEDANA'S WEDDING.

CASS, WE TALKEDABOUT THIS,

YOU KNOW HOW I FEELABOUT WEDDINGS.

WAIT A SEC, YOU'RE NOT GOINGTO THIS WEDDING?

NO, I DON'T DO WEDDINGS.

WHAT?

AND YOU'RE OKAY WITH THAT?

OH, I COULDN'T ASKHIM TO MISS THE GAMES.

THAT ARE ON EVERY WEEK.

THAT WOULD BE SELFISH OF ME.

NO, SERIOUSLY, HOW DO YOUGET OUT OF THESE THINGS?

IT'S EASY.

LOOK, WEDDINGS ARE BORINGFOR EVERYBODY

EXCEPT THE TWO PEOPLEGETTING MARRIED.

YEAH, BUT THAT'S WHATCOUPLES DO,

THEY DO BORING THINGS TOGETHER.

WE DO PLENTY OFBORING THINGS TOGETHER,

JUST NOT WEDDINGS.

OR FAMILY FUNCTIONS, OR WORK EVENTS, OR--

THAT'S BECAUSEWHEN YOU GO TO THOSE THINGS,

EVERYBODY ALWAYS ASKS,"WHEN ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED?

WHEN IS IT YOUR TURN?"

SO ANNOYING, RIGHT?

I WOULDN'T KNOW.

NO ONE'S EVER ACTUALLYASKED ME THAT ABOUT US.

WELL, THAT'S BECAUSE WE AVOIDTHOSE TYPE OF SITUATIONS.

SEE? IT ALL WORKS.

YEAH, YEAH.

I'LL GET YOUSOME MORE WINGS, HONEY.

AH!

BUT WITH NO HONEY.

AH, WHO'S THINKIN'!

ARE THEY A COUPLE OR NOT?

I'M RIGHT HERE.

UH-OH.

TABLE FIVE...

JUST THE BEST TABLE

IN THE ENTIRE PLACE.

AM I RIGHT?

HEY, ARE YOUKIDS READY

TO GET THIS PARTY STARTED?

FIRST THING WE'RE GOING TO DO,

WE'RE ORDERING A FULL ROUNDOF SHIRLEY TEMPLES, ON ME.

WHO'S WITH ME?

HE'S ONE COOL DUDE.

HAH! SEE THAT?

YES.

OKAY.

HELLO. WELCOMETO TABLE FIVE,

THE BEST TABLEAT THE WEDDING.

WOW.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN USIN A SHIRLEY TEMPLE,

MISS...CASSANDRA BRAND?

THAT SOUNDS LOVELY, MR...?

ZAPPIA,

ROBERT ZAPPIA.

MAKE IT A DOUBLE, MR. ZAPPIA.

SHE'S GOING CRAZY, KIDS.

GOTTA DANCE.

COME WITH ME!

CAN YOU BELIEVETHAT I'M MARRIED!

I'M OFFICIALLYMRS. DANA SCHMOINTZ!

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

OKAY, YOU DANCEA MEAN HORA.

WELL, THANK YOU.

YOU DANCE A PRETTY MEAN HORAYOURSELF, MR. ZAPPIA.

THANK YOU.

ARE YOU HAVING FUNAT THE WEDDING?

OH, IT'S GREAT--

BUT THE SECOND BEST PARTABOUT THE WEDDING

IS THE DANCING.

AND WHAT, PRAY TELL, THE FIRST BEST THING?

-THE CAKE.-AH.

CLEARLY.

SPEAKING OF CAKE...

THEY REALLY AREA PERFECT COUPLE.

YEAH, YOU KNOW, IF YOU'RE INTO THAT WHOLE,

"BE HAPPY FOR THE RESTOF YOUR LIFE" THING.

YEAH, WHO WANTS THAT?BLAH, BORING.

BORING.

BUT SERIOUSLY, PEOPLE, YOU KNOW THEY WANT...

THEY WANT LOVE.

THEY WANT THAT HAPPILY EVER--

---AFTER.---AFTER.

HEY, KIDDO.

HEY.

OH, THAT LOOKSREALLY GOOD.

PUT THE CAKE ON THE TABLE, AND THE KIDS RUN--

OH...

EXCUSE ME?

THAT'S... MY CAKE, WOMAN.

MM...

IT'S SO GOOD.

THAT'S...THAT WAS MY CAKE.

TURNABOUT'S--

AH!

DO YOU SEEWHAT'S GOING ON?

SHE JUST TOOK YOUR CAKE.

SEE, I TOLD YOU

YOU'D MEETTHE GIRL OF YOUR DREAMS

AT THIS WEDDING.

YOU ARE A WONDERFUL DANCER.

THANK YOU.

YOU'RE A LITTLE CLUNKY.

WOW, THANKS.

THANKS A LOT.

IT'S BECAUSEYOU'RE ON MY TOES.

COME HERE.

HOW'S THAT?

ARE YOU GOING TO ASKTHAT LADY OUT ON A DATE?

I DON'T KNOW.DO YOU THINK I SHOULD?

YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED

BEFORE YOU GET TOO OLDAND CRINKLY, DON'T YOU?

WELL... WELL, FIRST OFF,

YOU GOTTA GO ONA COUPLE OF DATES FIRST,

AND THEN YOU GETMARRIED LATER,

THAT'S USUALLYHOW IT WORKS.

YOU TWOWERE CUTE TOGETHER,

ESPECIALLY WHEN SHE TRIEDTO STAB YOU WITH HER FORK.

THAT WAS FUNNY.

YEAH? IT WAS FUNNY?

I'M GLAD IT MADE YOU LAUGH.

YOU'D BETTER ASK HERBEFORE SOMEONE ELSE DOES,

AND SHE GETS MARRIED.

YOU...

KIDDO,

ARE RIGHT.

YOU ARE SO RIGHT.

WISH ME LUCK.

AND THANK YOU FOR MY DANCE.

HI! HOW YOU DOING?

THANK YOU.

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO STAYFOR THE TOSS?

OKAY. BYE.

YOU'RE GOING TO LOVETHIS PLACE, MOM.

YEAH, UNBELIEVABLEDESSERTS.

OH, THANKS.

OH, WOW.

OH, LET ME TRY THAT ONE.

MM!

IT'S GOOD, RIGHT?

GOOD CHOICE, HON'.

MM! I FORGOT TO ASK, HOW WAS DANA'S WEDDING?

YOU KNOW, IT WAS ACTUALLYBETTER THAN EXPECTED.

IT WAS A NICE CEREMONY, FUN CROWD, GOOD CAKE.

MM.

DID PETER HAVE FUN?

PETER DIDN'T COME.

HE DOESN'T DOWEDDINGS.

WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN,

"HE DOESN'T DOWEDDINGS?"

IS HE PLANNING ONATTENDING HIS OWN WEDDING?

GOOD QUESTION, MOM.

TELL USABOUT THAT, CASS.

YOU KNOW...

I DON'T KNOWIF THE MARRIAGE THING

IS REALLY IN THE CARDS FOR US.

HUH.

YOU'VE BEEN SEEING EACH OTHERFOR ALMOST TWO YEARS.

YOU SHOULD KNOW IF HE'S THE ONE, I MEAN, AT LEAST POTENTIALLY.

DO YOU EVEN WANT TO GET MARRIED?

YES, I WANT TO GET MARRIED.

OF COURSE, I WANTTO GET MARRIED.

ACTUALLY, I WAS WATCHINGSOMETHING ABOUT THIS VERY THING

ON TV THE OTHER DAY,

AND I REALIZEDWHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS--

I DIDN'T KNOWTHAT I HAD A PROBLEM.

EXACTLY.

FIRST STEP, ADMITTING YOU HAVE A PROBLEM.

RIGHT, BUT I HAVE TO KNOWWHAT MY PROBLEM IS

BEFORE I CAN FIX THAT PROBLEM.

OKAY, YOU'RE TALKINGIN CIRCLES, YOU GUYS.

WOULD YOU PLEASE EXPLAIN?

-OKAY, CASS...-YES?

YOU TEND TO GO FORTHE SAME KIND OF GUY.

YOU PICK SOMEONEYOU THINK YOU CAN CHANGE,

AND MOLD INTO WHAT YOU WANT,

BUT YOU CAN'T--

BECAUSE IT'S NOT THE MAN, IT'S YOU.

WAIT A MINUTE, I SAW THIS.

ARE YOU QUOTING DR. SUSIE?

I AM, AND SHE'S RIGHT.

YOU HAVE A HISTORY

OF PICKINGTHE NONCOMMITTAL GUYS.

YOU PICK THE GUYS

WHO NEVER HAVE ANY INTENTIONOF COMMITTING LONG TERM.

DON'T GET ME WRONG, THEY'RE NICE GUYS,

PETER, JAMIE, JACK--

NOW, HOLD ON,

UM...

WHAT ABOUT SCOTT?

SCOTT FROM COLLEGE,

HE WAS, UM...

SCOTT WAS...

OH.

YOU'RE RIGHT, I DO.

I PICK THE WRONG GUYS.

HOW... HOW DID I NOTREALIZE THAT UNTIL RIGHT NOW?

BECAUSE YOU'RE COMPETITIVE?

YOU LIKE A CHALLENGE.

PETER IS A GREAT GUY.

AND HE'S EASY ON THE EYES,

AND YOU HAVENOTHING IN COMMON.

YEAH, AND HE WOULDN'T EVENGO TO A WEDDING WITH YOU.

HE HASN'T EVENMET MOM YET.

HE HASN'T MET ME.

YOU'RE SAYINGHE'S NEVER GOING TO COMMIT.

ARE YOU SAYINGI SHOULD BREAK UP WITH HIM?

WHAT WE'RE SAYING, DEAR, I THINK, IS,

WE JUST WANT YOUTO BE HAPPY.

AND TO BE HAPPY,

YOU HAVE TO CHANGE

THE KIND OF GUY YOU DATE.

RIGHT.

YEAH, THAT SEEMS...SIMPLE.

I AM REALLY SORRY, GEORGE.

JUST GIVE ME ONE SECOND

TO FIGURE OUT WHATHAPPENED TO YOUR ORDER.

DON'T WORRY CASSANDRA,

YOU AND YOUR STAFF HAVEALWAYS COME THROUGH FOR ME.

I DON'T KNOW HOW DANAFINDS ANYTHING ON HER DESK.

UM, I REMEMBER THE ORDER.

IT WAS 1,000 UMBRELLAS,

1,000 STRESSBALLS, ALL WITH YOUR LOGO.

YOU KNOW HOW STRESSED OUTUS INSURANCE ADJUSTERS GET.

APPARENTLYYOU ALSO GET WET.

THAT'S FUNNY...

NO, THE UMBRELLASYMBOLIZES THE COVERAGE--

I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY HAVEN'TARRIVED AT YOUR OFFICE YET.

IT SAYS HERE THEY SHIPPED.

HOW ABOUT THIS,

I WILL DOUBLE CHECKWITH THE MANUFACTURER,

AND I PROMISE,

I WILL MAKE THIS UP TO YOU.

I KNOW YOU WILL, CASSANDRA.

YOU'VE ALWAYS DONE GREAT WORK,

AND I HAVE COMPLETE CONFIDENCEIN YOUR COMPANY.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.THAT REALLY MEANS A LOT TO ME.

I WILL TAKE CARE OF THIS.

"WHEN YOU ARE TOGETHER,

"YOU SHOULD BE THE ONLY PERSONHE'S FOCUSED ON.

"YOU'VE AGREED TO SPENDYOUR VALUABLE TIME WITH HIM,

"YOU DESERVE HIS FULL ATTENTION.

NO DISTRACTIONS."

WHEN YOU SAIDWE WOULD HAVE PLANS TONIGHT,

I... I DON'T KNOW,

I THOUGHT MAYBE WE'D BEDOING SOMETHING TOGETHER.

WE ARE TOGETHER.WE'RE AT THE BATTING CAGES.

BOO-YA.

SEE THAT?

YEAH, I DID.

UM...

I DON'T KNOW IF THISWHOLE BATTING CAGE THING...

IT'S NOT REALLY MY IDEAOF BEING TOGETHER.

WHY?

WE ARE--

--TOTALLY TOGETHER.

OKAY,

IF, BY "TOGETHER," YOU MEAN

I'M ON THIS SIDE OF THE FENCE, AND YOU'RE ON THAT SIDE.

OKAY, WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

I THOUGHT MAYBEWE COULD DO SOMETHING

WHERE WE'RE FACE-TO-FACE,

AND, YOU KNOW, TALK

AND MAYBE HAVE DINNER?

MAN...

WHY CAN'T I CONNECTLIKE THIS ALL THE TIME?

PETER, I NEED YOUTO FOCUS.

YEAH. YOU NEED-- WHAT?

PETER!

WHAT IS GOING ON?

I'M ON THIS SIDEAND YOU'RE ON THAT SIDE.

WE ARE NOT TOGETHER.

AND I DON'TJUST MEAN TONIGHT.

I MEAN, WE'RE AT THE RESTAURANT,

AND I'M WITH NADIA AND MICHAEL,

AND YOU'RE RUNNING AROUND,

OR WE GO TO A PARTY,

TOGETHER,

BUT IT'S LIKE YOU FORGETTHAT I'M EVEN THERE.

OR I GO TO A WEDDING, AND YOU DON'T COME WITH ME.

WHAT... WHAT'S GOING ON?

I DON'T KNOW, CASS.

I'M NOT REALLY SUREWHAT YOU WANT ME TO SAY.

NOTHING.

I DON'T WANT YOUTO SAY ANYTHING.

OKAY.

SEE YA.

THAT ONE HADA FLIGHT ATTENDANT ON IT.

YOU SEE THAT?

CASS?

CASS?

OKAY, COME ON.

YOU WERE RIGHT,

THINGS WEREN'T GOINGWELL WITH PETER,

AND YOU KNOW WHAT,

HE DIDN'T SEEMTO CARE IF THEY DID.

SAME OLD, SAME OLD.

GOOD FOR YOU.

ARE YOU OKAY?

YEAH.

I MEAN, I THINK THEREWAS A PART OF ME

THAT ALWAYS KNEWHE WAS JUST...

HE WAS NEVERGOING TO BE THE ONE.

SERIOUSLY?

WHAT MAKES YOU THINKANYONE COULD WEAR THAT?

CLEARLY, SHE'S NOTSIX MONTHS PREGNANT.

YOU'RE TILTINGAT WINDMILLS AGAIN.

THEY MOCK ME.

REAL WOMEN ARE NOTBUILT LIKE THAT.

OKAY.

WELL, YOU ARE, BUT YOU'RE A FREAK.

STOP.

MAYBE IT'S TIMETO TRY SOMETHING NEW,

BREAK THE HABIT

OF ALWAYS CHOOSINGTHE WRONG GUY,

TIME AFTER TIME.

MAYBE SEEK SOMEPROFESSIONAL HELP?

WHAT?

IN THE FORM OFA MANUAL,

OR HANDBOOK--

MM-HMM, LIKE CONSULTING"THE DATER'S HANDBOOK,"

I GET IT.

HOW COULD IT HURT?

LOOK, IT'S FUNNY,

I ACTUALLY JUSTSAW A COPY OF IT

IN DANA'S DESK--

AS IN DANA, WHO JUST MARRIEDTHE SCHMOINTZ OF HER DREAMS?

YES.

TRY THE BOOK.

WORST CASE, YOU END UPWHERE YOU ARE NOW.

BEST CASE, YOU MEET YOUR OWN SCHMOINTZ,

FALL IN LOVE,

AND LIVEHAPPILY EVER AFTER.

I DON'T KNOW,

THE WHOLE THINGJUST SEEMS SO...

DESPERATE.

DR. SUSIE, SHE IS A LOVEAND RELATIONSHIP EXPERT.

SHE HAS SEVENPUBLISHED BOOKS,

ALL OF THEM BEST-SELLERS.

I MEAN, SHE GIVES LECTURESALL OVER THE COUNTRY.

MM-HMM.

IN FACT,

SHE IS GIVING A LECTUREON "THE DATER'S HANDBOOK."

TONIGHT!

HUH!

I'M AS SHOCKEDAS YOU ARE.

SURE.

THANK YOU.

OH, AND DON'T FORGET,

YOU CAN DOWNLOADTHE AUDIO VERSION

FROM MY WEBSITE AS WELL.

I'M YOUR SISTER, I SUPPORT YOU.

OKAY.

-HI.-HI.

I'M MARRIED.

OH, CONGRATULATIONS.

HOPEFULLY, YOU'LL READ MY BOOK,

AND IT WILL VALIDATEYOUR CHOICE IN HUSBAND.

MAKE IT OUT TO NADIA.

AND THIS ISMY SISTER, CASS.

-HI.-HI.

IT'S NOT THE MAN, IT'S HER.

IT REALLY IS.

THAT'S WHYWE'RE HERE.

THANK YOU, I FEELREALLY GREAT ABOUT MYSELF NOW.

OH, NO, YOU DON'TNEED TO BE EMBARRASSED.

YOU'RE NOT ALONE IN THIS.

AND HONESTLY,

I WOULDN'T HAVE WRITTENTHIS BESTSELLING BOOK,

OR BE GIVINGTHESE SOLD-OUT LECTURES,

IF IT WEREN'T FOR THE FACTTHAT I WAS ONCE JUST LIKE YOU,

FACING THE SAME OBSTACLES.

SHE GOES FORTHE NON-COMMITTAL GUYS.

NO, IT'S NOT THATTHEY'RE NONCOMMITTAL.

IT'S JUST THAT THEY ALL...

THEY ALL JUSTHAVE A HISTORY

OF NOT ACTUALLYCOMMITTING.

WELL, IF YOU'RE PICKINGTHE NONCOMMITTAL GUYS

THEN MAYBE YOU'RE NONCOMMITTAL.

I NEVERTHOUGHT OF THAT.

OH, YOU'RE GOOD.

CASS, THE TRUTH IS, NOBODY WANTS TO ADMIT

THAT THEY WANTTHE PREDICTABLE, CONSISTENT,

SAME-ROUTINE-EVERY-DAYKIND OF GUY.

WE ALL THINK WE WANTTHE UNPREDICTABLE,

REBELLIOUS, EXCITING GUYS,

BUT THOSE ARE THE ONESTHAT ARE NEVER CONTENT.

THEY NEED TOKEEP MOVING,

ALWAYS LOOKING FORTHE NEXT THING,

AND THAT MEANS YOU'RE NEVERGOING TO BE ENOUGH.

THAT'S WHY THEY CAN'T COMMIT.

WOW, YOU AREREALLY GOOD.

I KNOW.

CASS, MY HUSBAND ISCONSISTENT, PREDICTABLE,

AND AVERAGE IN EVERY WAY.

HE BRINGS HOMETHE STEADY PAYCHECK,

HE ALWAYS ASKSABOUT MY DAY,

HE DOESN'T LOOK AROUNDCONSTANTLY FOR THE NEXT THING

WHEN YOU ARE SITTING RIGHT THEREIN FRONT OF HIM.

THAT IS COMMITMENT.

HMM?

MAKE IT OUT TO CASS!

CASS...

WELCOME TO THE DATER'S HANDBOOK.

IF YOU'RE LISTENING TO THIS AUDIO RECORDING,

THAT MEANS YOU'VE MADE

THE CONSCIOUS DECISION TO IMPROVE YOUR LOVE LIFE

AND CHANGE THE WAY YOU LOOK AT THE OPPOSITE SEX.

I WILL SHOW YOU

WHY THE MEN YOU ARE CHOOSING ARE THE WRONG KIND OF MEN,

AND I WILL HELP YOU BREAK THAT PATTERN

TO FIND YOUR MR. RIGHT--

AND GET THE HAPPILY-EVER-AFTER YOU DESERVE!

HERE! HERE!

GOOD! GOOD BOY!

SORRY ABOUT THAT.

I'M SORRY.

WOW.

WERE YOU TRYING TO HIT USWITH YOUR BALL?

NO, THIS WAS FOR PROTECTION,

BECAUSE YOU MIGHT HAVEA CONCEALED CAKE FORK.

-HI.-HI.

AND WHO IS THIS?

THIS IS DUKE.

HI, DUKE.

WHO IS THAT?

THIS IS DAISY.

UM, I ACTUALLY JUST GOT DAISYLAST WEEK FROM A SHELTER.

CAN YOU IMAGINETHAT SOMEBODY LEFT HER

ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD?

-NO.-IT'S CRAZY.

AND APPARENTLY, SHE'S A VERY GOOD RETRIEVER.

-OH, LET'S SEE.-HEY, DAISY!

SO, DO YOU, UM...

DO YOU COME HERE OFTEN?

IS THAT AN ACTUAL QUESTION

OR JUST AN INCREDIBLY CHEESYAND DATED PICK-UP LINE?

BOTH.

YES.

WE COME HEREA COUPLE TIMES A WEEK.

SORRY I DIDN'T GET A CHANCETO SAY GOODBYE TO YOU

AT THE WEDDING.

OH, IT'S OKAY.

I WANTED TO, UH--

UH...

-I THINK THAT'S YOUR CUE.-DON'T GO.

-SO, NO---LET ME JUST TAKE THIS--

YEAH, YEAH.

THIS IS ROBERT ZAPPIA.

UH, IT WAS, UH--

-HOLD ON A SECOND.-GOOD TO SEE YOU.

DUKE? DUKE, BEFORESHE DISAPPEARS AGAIN,

WILL YOU ASK YOUR MOTHER

IF SHE'D LIKETO GO ON A DATE WITH ME?

WE'VE GOTA SLIGHT PROBLEM

WITH THE TORNADOES ORDER.

THE ORDER WAS

FOR A THOUSAND "FUTBOLS"?

OKAY...

AND?

AND IT'S FOR A GIVE-AWAYFOR A SOCCER TEAM IN ARGENTINA,

WHERE THEY PLAY "FUTBOL".

HONEST MISTAKE.

YEAH, "FOOTBALL,"

"FUTBOL."

YEAH.

SO...

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?

FIRST, I WANT YOUTO CALL THE COMPANY

AND SEE IF THEY CAN MAKETHE CORRECT BALLS.

SECOND, I FOUNDA HIGH SCHOOL IN WICHITA,

THEIR COLORS ARE BLACK AND BLUE,

AND THEIR MASCOT IS A TORNADO.

CALL THEM, SEEIF THEY'RE INTERESTED,

AND MAYBE WE CAN RECOVERSOME OF YOUR LOSSES.

THAT SEEMS LIKE A LOT OF WORK.

YEAH, PHIL.

YEAH, IT IS.

GOT IT. OKAY.

CASS!

WELL, DON'T YOU LOOK RELAXED.

WELCOME BACK.

IT'S GOOD TO BE BACK.

WELL, YOU ARE BURSTINGAT THE SEAMS,

SO TELL ME, HOW WAS IT?

OH, IT WAS AMAZING.

BEACH-FRONT BUNGALOWWITH OUR OWN PRIVATE PALAPA.

I LOVE PALAPAS.

WHO DOESN'T LOVE A PALAPA?EVEN THE WORD IS FUN TO SAY...

-PALAPA!-PALAPA.

I DON'T THINK THAT THERE ISANYWHERE MORE ROMANTIC

THAN A PALAPA IN ACAPULCO.

WELL, YOU KNOW, A GIRL CAN DREAM.

BUT BACK TO REALITY,

I NEED THE JRB CONTRACTS,

AND PLEASE SET A MEETINGWITH STAN MORRIS.

YES.

-GREAT.-OKAY.

THANK YOU.

OH!

UM...

I JUST HAVE TO SAY SOMETHING.

AT MY WEDDING,

YOU AND ROBERT LOOKEDREALLY GREAT TOGETHER, AND...

HE ALREADY ASKED ME OUT.

OH, YAY!

CHAPTER ONE.

THE FIRST DATE

IS THE FIRST OPPORTUNITY HE HAS

TO SHOW YOU

WHAT TYPE OF EFFORT HE'S GOING TO PUT INTO THIS RELATIONSHIP.

DOES HE MAKE PLANS AND CAPTURE YOUR PERSONALITY?

THE FIRST DATE SHOULD BE FUN, APPROPRIATE,

AND SOMETHING YOU WOULD ENJOY.

WATCH AND LEARN.

OH, DON'T WORRY, HE'S AN HERBIVORE.

HE ONLY EATS TREES, AND BUSHES,

AND GOLF BALLS.

THAT'S NOT AN HERBIVORE, THAT IS A TYRANNOSAURUS REX.

I WANT A MULLIGAN.

MAN UP, FRIEND.

THERE ARE OBSTACLESIN MINI-GOLF.

NOW, LET ME SEEWHAT YOU GOT.

OKAY.

OOH...

REALLY?

I THINKI'M BEING HUSTLED.

AM I BEING HUSTLED?

ONE NEVER KNOWS.

OH...

ONE DOES KNOW.ONE IS BEING HUSTLED.

ALL RIGHT...

OKAY. OH, YOU'REGOING TO STAND UP THERE.

WELL, THERE'S NOT MUCHROOM TO STAND ELSEWHERE.

OH, COME ON!

AW, THAT'S TOO BAD.

RIGHT THERE.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO--

OH, THAT IS SO SAD.

BY THE WAY, THAT'S NOT SAD,

THAT'S JUSTCALLED CHEATING.

YOU JUST TOLD ME THAT OBSTACLESWERE A PART OF MINIATURE GOLF.

FINE, FAIR ENOUGH.

-GO FOR IT.-FINE. ALL RIGHT.

OH, COME ON, THAT IS A FOUL.

THAT IS A FOUL, THAT IS A BLATANT--

THERE ARE NO FOULSIN MINI-GOLF.

I AM GONNA GET MY BALL,

AND PUT IT BACKWHERE IT SHOULD BE,

WHICH IS HERE,

AND THAT

IS A GIMME.

TELL YOU WHAT, I'LL MAKE YOU A WAGER.

OKAY.

IF YOU SINK THE PUTT,

YOU GET TO CHOOSEWHERE WE GO

ON OUR SECOND DATE,

BUT IF YOU MISS THE PUTT,

I GET TO CHOOSEWHERE WE GO ON OUR SECOND DATE.

YOU'RE ASSUMING WE'RE HAVINGA SECOND DATE?

I AM, AND WE ARE.

THE WHEREIS THE ONLY QUESTION.

OKAY.

YOU READY?

BLINDFOLDED?

YOU MISSED THAT PUTTON PURPOSE.

NO.

I JUST DIDN'T WANTTO BRUISE YOUR EGO,

SO I THOUGHT I'DKEEP IT INTERESTING.

LET'S ME SEEWHAT YOU GOT, KID.

OKAY.

I GOT AN IDEA HERE.

UH-OH, SHE'S GETTING DOWNWITH IT.

OH!

I AM BEING HUSTLED.

YOU WERE SAYING?

I DON'T EVEN KNOWWHAT I WAS SAYING.

WHAT DO I DO?I, UM...

I OVERSEE THE OPERATIONS OF

AND THE FINANCIAL BUDGETS FOR

THE CITY'S PARKSAND RECREATION DEPARTMENT.

THAT SOUNDS VERY IMPORTANT.

WHAT MADE YOU WANT TOGET INTO THAT?

THE FREE T-SHIRTS--

EXCUSE ME?

YEAH, WHENEVERAN EVENT IS HELD

AT ONE OF OUR FACILITIES,

I GET TO ATTEND FOR FREE,

AND I GET A T-SHIRT.

AND HOW ABOUT YOU?

HOW DID YOU GET INTO MARKETING?

WELL,

AFTER COLLEGE, I STARTED WORKING

AT THIS BIG CONGLOMERATEMARKETING FIRM,

WHERE I WAS TASKED WITHINCREASING ADVERTISING

AND FINDING NEW AVENUESFOR PROMOTION.

BUT WHEN I WAS THEREFOR A WHILE,

AND I SAW WHATTHEY WERE DOING,

AND HOW MUCH MONEYTHEY WERE MAKING

BY JUST SLAPPINGTHEIR LOGO ON STUFF,

I THOUGHT,

INSTEAD OF GOINGTHROUGH A MIDDLE MAN,

WHY NOT BETHE MIDDLE MAN?

PLUS, I WANTED TO WORK

FOR THE BEST BOSSIN THE WORLD,

AND IT TURNS OUT, IT'S THIS GUY RIGHT HERE.

OH, AND SHE'SHUMBLE, TOO.

OH, STOP.

I LIKE THAT, I LIKE IT...

ALL RIGHT, I NEED TO ASK YOU

A VERY PERSONALQUESTION.

OKAY.

I'M SERIOUS,

AND I WANT YOU TO THINKHARD ABOUT IT

BEFORE YOU ANSWER,

BECAUSE I'D LIKE THE TRUTH.

DID YOU MISS THAT PUTTON PURPOSE?

WELL, WHAT IF I DID?

THEN I GET TO CHOOSEWHERE WE GO ON OUR SECOND DATE.

WELL, THAT WOULD MEANWE BOTH WIN.

THAT WAS REALLY...

THAT WAS SO CHEESY.

YEAH, THAT WAS CHEESY.

SUPER CHEESY.

OKAY, IT WAS, YEAH.

-GOOD NIGHT.-GOOD NIGHT.

OKAY, LET'S MOVE IT, PEOPLE.

THE SCHOOL FAIR STARTS AT NOON,

AND I HAVE 100 OF THESETO DELIVER.

SO...

I HAD A DATE.

THAT'S GREAT.

TALK WHILE YOU WORK.

WHAT'S HIS NAME?

ROBERT.

WHERE DID YOU MEET HIM?

WAIT A SECOND, WHAT ABOUT PETER?

PETER AND CASSBROKE UP.

OH, SERIOUSLY?

YEAH, IT'SOLD NEWS, HON'.

OKAY, THE DATE, THE DATE...

OKAY, I MET HIMAT DANA'S WEDDING,

AND HE'S HANDSOME, HE'S FIT,

HE WORKS FOR THE CITY, HE HAS A DOG.

I LIKE HIM ALREADY.

WAS THERE A CONNECTION?ANY SPARKS?

THERE WERE DEFINITE SPARKS--

AH, AH, AH!

EXCITEMENT, PASSION, SPARKS ARE NOT IMPORTANT.

CONSISTENCYAND RELIABILITY,

THAT IS WHATWE ARE LOOKING FOR.

WOW.

YOU MEMORIZED THE BOOK.

WAIT, WHAT BOOK?

OH, CASS HAS HANDED OVERHER LOVE LIFE

TO DR. SUSIE

AND "THE DATER'SHANDBOOK,"

AND I AMCOACHING HER.

OH.

SO, IS THIS ROBERT"HANDBOOK APPROVED"?

WAS HE ATTENTIVE?

WAS HE GENUINELY INTERESTEDIN WHAT YOU HAD TO SAY,

OR WAS HE JUST THERE?

YES, HE PAID COMPLETEFULL TO ME, AND...

IT FELT REALLY GOOD.

GOOD.

ROBERT'S PASSEDTHE FIRST TEST.

AND REMEMBER, CASS,

ONE GOOD DATE DOES NOTA RELATIONSHIP MAKE.

YOU HAVE TO BE SURE

TO OPEN TOOTHER OPPORTUNITIES.

THAT'S RIGHT.

MM-HMM.

SERIOUSLY?

OH, SOMETIMES IT'S LIKEI ALREADY HAVE TWO CHILDREN.

THREE.

OKAY...

CASSANDRA, HI.

HI.

-ARE YOU BUSY?-NO.

NO, I JUST WASN'T EXPECTINGTO SEE YOU HERE.

HELLO.

I'M SORRY TO DROP BYUNANNOUNCED,

I JUST, I WANTED TO COME BYIN PERSON AND THANK YOU.

YOU REALLY WENTABOVE AND BEYOND

THE NORMAL CUSTOMER SERVICEFOR OUR ORDER.

WELL, YOU'RE WELCOME, AND IT'S REALLY MY PLEASURE.

YOUR BUSINESSIS IMPORTANT TO US.

WE GAVE IT ALL AWAYAT THE CLAIMS EXPO,

AND WE HAD PEOPLECOMING UP TO US AFTER

ASKING IF WE HAD EXTRAS.

GREAT.

I REALLY APPRECIATEWHAT YOU DID.

AND I WAS WONDERING,

IF YOU MIGHT LIKETO HAVE DINNER WITH ME?

OH, THAT'S REALLY KIND, BUT IT'S NOT NECESSARY.

I MEAN, AGAIN, YOUR BUSINESS--

IS IMPORTANT, I KNOW,

AND YOU HAVE MY BUSINESS.

I, UM, I MEANT PERSONALLY.

A DATE.

OH.

UNLESS YOU FEEL LIKEIT'S INAPPROPRIATE

BECAUSE WE DO BUSINESS...

NO. NO, I MEAN...

I GUESS IT WOULD BE FINE, AND I...

YES.

THAT WOULD BE...

THAT WOULD BE REALLY NICE.

GREAT.

I WILL CALL YOU AND MAKETHE APPROPRIATE ARRANGEMENTS.

PERFECT.

HEY!

DID I FORGET TO SCHEDULEA MEETING WITH GEORGE?

OH, NO, NO, NO,

HE, UM, HE JUST CAME BY

TO THANK USFOR ALL OF OUR WORK.

OH, WELL, THAT'S REALLY NICE OF HIM.

YEAH.

CHIVALRY IS NOT DEAD.

IT'S OKAY TO EXPECT AND WANT A GENTLEMAN.

WE'VE COME A LONG WAY,

BUT WE SHOULD STILL BE TREATED LIKE LADIES.

A REAL GENTLEMAN

WILL DO THE BIG THINGS AND THE SMALL THINGS.

WOW.

THIS IS REALLY NICE.

CHATEAU GRUAUD LA ROSE 1995.

PARFAIT.

ALTHOUGH, CASSANDRA,

YOU SHOULD REALLY BETHE ONE JUDGING.

OH, OKAY.

THANK YOU.

WOW, THAT...

THAT'S INCREDIBLE.

DO YOU MIND IF I ORDERFOR BOTH OF US?

PLEASE DO.

YOU'VE DONE EVERYTHINGPERFECTLY SO FAR.

NOUS COMMENCERONS AVEC LA SALADE NICOISE,

SUIVI DU STEAK TARTAR,

ET COMME PLAT PRINCIPAL

NOUS PRENDRONS TOUS LES DEUX

LE CANARD A L'ORANGE.

TRES BON CHOIX.

QUELQUE CHOSE D'AUTRE POUR MADAME?

OUI, OUI.

SHE'S ASKINGIF YOU NEED ANYTHING ELSE.

OH. NO, I'M FINE.

THAT'S GREAT.

THANK YOU.

MERCI.

WOW.

THAT IS VERY IMPRESSIVE.

I DIDN'T KNOWTHAT YOU SPOKE FRENCH.

OH, DON'T BE IMPRESSED,

IT'S JUST, I SEEM TO HAVEAN EAR FOR LANGUAGES.

WELL, I DON'T,

AND I JUST LEARNED

WHEN I WAS INAN INDIAN RESTAURANT LAST WEEK

THAT "NAAN"DOES NOT MEAN "NO"?

THEY KEPT BRINGING ME BREAD.

WELL, TO A BEAUTIFUL,

AND THE MOST INTERESTING WOMANI'VE EVER MET.

AND TO GETTINGTO KNOW HER BETTER.

-CHEERS.-CHEERS.

CASS, LISTEN TO MEAND LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES,

NEVER VOLUNTEER TO BE"ROOM MOTHER".

ONE WEEK, IT'S MAKINGA HUNDRED CUPCAKES,

AND THE NEXT WEEK, IT'S MAKING COSTUMES

FOR A HEALTHY EATINGEXTRAVAGANZA.

OW.

-I'M BEGGING YOU.-SORRY.

YOU KNOW, YOU COULD HAVEGOT THIS COSTUME

IN ONE DAY FROM AMAZON

AND IT WOULD HAVE BEENFREE SHIPPING WITH PRIME.

THAT'S WHAT I TOLD HER.

SHE IS A WALKING ADVERTISEMENT NOW.

DOES THIS STRAWBERRYMAKE ME LOOK FAT?

YES.

THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.

I'VE BEEN DYING TO ASK, ANY MORE DATES?

WELL, YOU KNOW,

SINCE, UM, I'M KEEPINGMY OPTIONS OPEN,

I WENT OUT TO DINNERWITH A CLIENT OF MINE.

HIS NAME IS GEORGE KAZMINSKI,

AND IT WAS ACTUALLY REALLY NICE.

HE WAS A PERFECT GENTLEMAN.

HE PULLED OUT MY CHAIR,

AND OPENED ALL THE DOORS.

HE EVEN ORDERED FOR US.

HMM, SOUNDS LIKE THE KINDOF GUY WE'RE LOOKING FOR.

YOU MEAN "I'M" LOOKING FOR.

WHATEVER.

I KNOW I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO ASK, BUT WERE THERE ANY SPARKS?

NOT YET.

BUT THAT'S NOTWHAT WE'RE LOOKING FOR.

RIGHT, NADIA?

WORD.

HOW DO I LOOK?

MM.

REALLY GOOD.

OKAY, SO WHEN YOU SAID"A RUNNING DATE,"

I GOTTA BE HONEST,

I THOUGHT YOU MEANTMAYBE OUTSIDE,

LITTLE SUN SHINING,

PERHAPS BRING THE DOGS...

WELL, THAT WAS THE PLAN,

AND THE FORECAST SAID

THAT IT WAS GONNA BEWARM AND SUNNY.

YEAH?

IT'S OBVIOUSLY NOT.

IT'S COLD AND RAINY,

BUT WE IMPROVISE,

AND I HAD A FREE TICKET,

A FREE PASSFOR A GUEST TO COME,

AND SO I FIGUREDI'D USE IT ON YOU,

AND I THINKTHAT'S ROMANTIC.

IT'S SO ROMANTIC.

AWESOME. NOW, LET'S JUSTSEE IF YOU CAN KEEP UP.

THAT SOUNDS LIKEA CHALLENGE.

I'M JUST GOING TOJAM MINE UP TO,

I DON'T KNOW, SIX.

YOU DO THAT.I'M GETTING READY.

OH, REALLY, YOU'RE GONNAJUST PUT EAR BUDS IN,

FROM AN ANCIENT IPOD?

AS LUCK WOULD HAVE IT...

I BROUGHT YOU EARBUDSAND A SPLITTER.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

THAT'S VERYCONSIDERATE.

THANK YOU.

HERE WE GO.

MOTIVATIONFOR OUR RUN.

-SERIOUSLY?-WHAT?

YOU FIND THISMOTIVATING?

IT'S REO SPEEDWAGON.

IT WAS MY MOM'S FAVORITE BAND.

SHE PLAYED IT ALL THE TIMEWHEN I WAS GROWING UP,

AND... COME ON,

YOU KNOWYOU LOVE THEM.

I LOVE REO SPEEDWAGON.

YEAH, YOU SEE?

WHOA!

UM...

-ARE YOU OKAY?-I'M SORRY.

WHAT JUST HAPPENED?

OH, NO, I BROKE IT.

I'M SORRY.

DID YOU REALLY HATETHE MUSIC OF THE '70S THAT MUCH?

NO, I REALLY DIDN'T.I'M SO SORRY.

YOU MUST HAVE BEENSO FOND OF THIS.

YOU'VE HAD ITFOR, LIKE TWO DECADES.

I'M SORRY, SHOULD WE HAVEA MOMENT OF SILENCE

FOR THIS LITTLE GUY?

IS IT TOO SOON FOR JOKES?

NOT IF THEY'RE FUNNY.

OUCH.

MAN-PRIDE STUNG.

SPEAKING OF MAN-PRIDE,

THERE IS A YOGA CLASSTHAT STARTS IN 10 MINUTES.

SHOULD WE?

YES.

I'M SORRY ABOUT YOUR IPOD.

YOU SHOULD BE.

COME ON.

ALL RIGHT, THE FIRSTTHING I LEARNED IS,

DO NOT TRUST THE WEATHER GUYON CHANNEL FOUR.

I DON'T KNOW.

I HAVE TO BE HONEST,

SEEING YOUFLY OFF OF THAT TREADMILL?

PRETTY IRRESISTIBLE STUFF.

YEAH.

YEAH, IT IS MY "GO-TO".

SECOND DATEGO-TO MOVE.

NICELY DONE.

AS IS...

THIS.

A PICNIC?

IN A CAR?

WELL, YOU ARE FULL OFSURPRISES, AREN'T YOU?

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE?

WOULD YOU LIKE FRUIT,

OR DO YOU WANT A CROISSANT?

-I WILL HAVE FRUIT, PLEASE.-OKAY.

THANK YOU.

THERE YOU GO.

OKAY, SO THIS ISWHAT I KNOW ABOUT YOU,

I KNOW THAT YOU HAVEA DOG NAMED DUKE,

I KNOW THATYOU LIKE TO RUN...

YEAH.

AND YOU OWNYOUR OWN COMPANY,

WHICH IS VERY IMPRESSIVE.

THANK YOU.

WHAT DON'T I KNOWABOUT YOU?

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

I WAS BORNRIGHT HERE IN DENVER,

AND THEN I, UM, I WENT AWAYTO COLLEGE IN BOSTON,

AND THEN RIGHT AROUNDMY GRADUATION,

MY DAD HAD PASSED AWAY,

SO I CAME BACK HOMETO HELP MY MOM OUT.

I'M SORRY.

THAT'S REALLY SAD.

THANK YOU.

WERE YOU GUYS CLOSE?

YEAH, WE WERE.

I WAS, UM...

I WAS QUITETHE DADDY'S GIRL.

UM... HE WAS THE BEST.

HE WOULD TAKE ME AND MY FRIENDSTO BALL GAMES

AND MOVIES, AND...

BUT HE ALSO KNEWHOW TO DISAPPEAR

WHEN HE NEEDED TO,

LIKE, UM, SLEEP-OVERS, AND DANCES.

SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT GUY.

YEAH, HE WAS.

YOU ACTUALLY REMIND MEOF HIM A LITTLE BIT.

HE HAD THAT FUNAND ADVENTUROUS THING.

I REALLY LIKE THATABOUT YOU.

WHAT ARE...OH, MY GOSH.

UNBELIEVABLE.

UNBELIEVABLE.

I'M SORRY.

IT WAS JUST SO GOOD.

STOP EATING MY FOOD.

I'LL TRADE YOU.

I DON'T WANT THE FRUIT.

IT'S MY FAVORITE ONE.

THE ART OF DATING.

AT THIS POINT, YOU MAY BE GETTING CLOSE TO SOMEONE.

CAREFUL!

YOU DO NOT WANT TO FALL INTO OLD HABITS.

KEEP ALL OPTIONS OPEN

UNTIL YOU FIGURE OUT HOW YOU FEEL,

WHAT YOU WANT,

AND WHERE YOU WANT THINGS TO GO.

SO, HOW DID YOULEARN ABOUT ART?

BEFORE I ENROLLEDIN A BUSINESS PROGRAM,

I STUDIED ARTIN COLLEGE.

IT GAVE MEAN APPRECIATION FOR, UM...

THE WAY PEOPLESEE THINGS,

HOW HUMANSEXPRESS THEMSELVES.

I STUDIED ARTFOR A COUPLE YEARS,

IN PRESCHOOL.

IT HELPED ME LEARNABOUT TACTILE SENSES,

YOU KNOW, THAT FEELING OF PAINTOOZING BETWEEN MY FINGERS.

SEE, THIS ONEREALLY SPEAKS TO ME.

THE COLOR,

THE WAY THE OWLIS FRONT AND CENTER,

ACTING AS A SYMBOLOF WISDOM,

POWER, INTUITION,

MYSTERY,

AND CHANGE.

HMM.

WHAT DOES IT SAY TO YOU?

HOO HOO HOO!

THAT'S "PUNNY."

WHAT ABOUT THIS ONE?

WHAT DOES ITSAY TO YOU?

HMM, YOU KNOW,

I'M NOT SURE.

OH, COME ON, GIVE IT A TRY.THERE'S NO WRONG ANSWERS.

OKAY.

WELL, I LIKE THE CONTRASTOF GOOD AND EVIL,

THE WAY THE ARTISTHAS CREATED

THIS DICHOTOMYOF DARKNESS AND LIGHT,

ILLUSTRATING THE STRUGGLEOF HUMAN NATURE,

JUST CLAWING FORONE MOMENT OF RELIEF.

INTERESTING.

I'M NOT SURE THE ARTISTWOULD AGREE WITH YOU,

BUT WE ALL SEE ARTIN OUR OWN WAY.

NO...

I WAS KIDDING.

LOOK, I FIND THIS PIECECAPTIVATING.

I LOVE ABSTRACT ART.

THIS HAS BEAUTIFUL SHAPEAND FORM IN ITS ASYMMETRY.

I DIDN'T MEANTO MAKE FUN OF IT.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT,

I DIDN'T THINK YOU WEREMAKING FUN OF IT.

WE SEE WHAT WE SEE.

THAT'S THE BEAUTIFULTHING ABOUT ART

IS EVERYBODY SEESWHAT THEY WANT.

MAYBE THIS WASN'TYOUR THING,

MAYBE YOU PREFERSCULPTURES.

OR NOT.

THERE IS NO WRONG.

IT'S ALL OKAY.

THANK YOU.

THAT MEANS A LOT TO ME.

WHOO! HEE HEE!

I CAN'T BELIEVEI'M IN A LIMOUSINE!

THIS IS SO EXCITING,

EVEN IF I DON'T KNOWWHERE WE'RE GOING.

THAT MAKESTWO OF US.

WAIT, HOLD--TIME OUT.

SO, A LIMOUSINE RIDEISN'T ENOUGH?

BECAUSE THIS ISALL THERE IS, LADIES.

YOU'RE EXPECTINGSOMETHING ELSE?

OKAY, THIS IS VERY NICE.

IT'S JUST, I DON'T NORMALLYBRING MY MOM WITH ME

ON MY DATES.

AH, WELL, YOU SEE,

ACTUALLY, THIS ISGLORIA'S DATE.

YOU ARE LITERALLYJUST ALONG FOR THE RIDE.

SO, I'MTHE THIRD WHEEL?

THAT'S GOOD, THAT'S FUNNY. YES.

OH, COME ON, ROBERT,

WHEN ARE YOUGOING TO TELL US

WHAT THE OCCASION IS?

THE ANTICIPATIONIS KILLING ME.

OKAY, WELL, WE'RE ALMOST THERE,

SO I GUESS I CAN...I GUESS I CAN TELL YOU.

WE ARE GOING TOA BENEFIT CONCERT

FOR CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL, AND SEVERAL MUSICIANS ARE--

REO SPEEDWAGON?

REO SPEEDWAGON.

-NO!-YES!

NO, REO SPEEDWAGON?

-YES.-REALLY?

THIS ISBY INVITATION ONLY!

IT'S IMPOSSIBLETO GET TICKETS.

OUR OFFICEHELPED SET IT UP,

SO I ASKED FORA COUPLE OF TICKETS,

AND THEN ASKED FORANOTHER ONE

FOR THE THIRD WHEEL,

BECAUSE I THOUGHTIT WOULD BE WEIRD

IF WE WENTON A DATE WITHOUT HER.

OH, WOW,

THIS IS AMAZINGLYSWEET OF YOU.

I HAVE LOVEDREO SPEEDWAGON,

AND I'VE NEVER HADTHE CHANCE TO SEE THEM LIVE.

WELL, TONIGHT'SYOUR NIGHT.

TONIGHT'S MY NIGHT.

WELL, YOU DID THIS

JUST TO SCORE BROWNIEPOINTS WITH MY MOM.

NO...

NO, WHY WOULD IDO THAT?

YES, THAT'SEXACTLY WHAT I DID.

GIFTING.

GIVING THE RIGHT GIFT IS IMPERATIVE.

ANY GIFT SHOULD BE THOUGHTFUL AND PERSONAL.

SEE, I THOUGHT THE RULE WAS

"YOU GET WHAT YOU GET, AND YOU DON'T GET UPSET,"

BUT IT TURNS OUT,

GETTING THE RIGHT GIFTIS IMPERATIVE.

GOOD TO KNOW, RIGHT, DUKE?

I KNOW.

--OH!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

AND MANY MORE!

AW, THANK YOU.

AM I FIRST?DID I BEAT MOM THIS YEAR?

WELL, IT'S6:30 IN THE MORNING,

SO, YEAH, YOU'RE THE FIRST.

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT ROBERT AND GEORGE GET YOU.

WELL, YOU'RE ASSUMING THATTHEY'RE GETTING ME GIFTS.

UH, YEAH, IT'S IMPERATIVE.

IF THEY DON'T, THEN THEY'RE GONE.

I GOTTA GO.IT'S MOM.

TELL HER I WAS FIRST!

OKAY.

HI, MOM.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HONEY!

UM, I KNOW IT'S REALLY EARLY,

BUT I WANTED TO BE FIRST.

WELL, YOU ARE THE FIRST, CONGRATULATIONS.

YES!

NADIA ALWAYS WANTS TO BE FIRST,

BUT SHE WILL NEVER BEAT ME

NOW THAT I'VE MASTERED THE VIDEO CHAT.

OH, I AM VERY PROUD OF YOU.

THANK YOU.

MWAH...

"BANK OF DEVNER."

I MEAN, COME ON,

DOES ANYONE SPELL CHECK ANYMORE?

I KNOW YOU'RE BUSY,

BUT I HOPE THESEBRIGHTEN UP YOUR DAY.

THANK YOU.

THEY'RE GORGEOUS, THANK YOU.

I MEAN, LILIES ARE MY FAVORITE.

PLUS, YOU BROUGHT THEM TO MEPERSONALLY.

WELL, DELIVERIESARE SO IMPERSONAL,

AND I WANTED TO WISH YOUA HAPPY BIRTHDAY

IN PERSON.

I KNOW YOU'RE HAVING DINNERWITH YOUR FAMILY TONIGHT,

BUT I LOOK FORWARD TOCELEBRATING WITH YOU

ON FRIDAY.

I CAN'T WAIT.

BETTER GO.

I HAVE A DEPOSITIONIN A HALF HOUR,

BIG ACCIDENT DISPUTE.

AH, OKAY,

WELL, UM, THANK YOU AGAINFOR THE FLOWERS.

THEY'RE REALLYBEAUTIFUL.

HI.

SORRY, IS THISA BAD TIME?

NO, NO, JUST LEAVING.

SHE'S ALL YOURS.

THANKS.

HELLO.

HI.

SO, I'M ON MY WAY TOFINALIZE ARRANGEMENTS

FOR THIS LANTERN FESTIVALTHAT I'M ORGANIZING,

BUT I WANTED TO WISH YOUA HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

HOW DID YOU KNOWIT WAS MY BIRTHDAY?

OH, CASS, FACEBOOK, GOOGLE,

INSTAGRAM, THE TWITTER,

THERE'S A BILLBOARDON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD,

WHICH I THINK ISA LITTLE BIT OBNOXIOUS.

OKAY.

I KNOW A LOT ABOUT YOU, CASS.

THE "RACHEL HAIR CUT"WHEN YOU WERE A LITTLE GIRL?

NOT SO GOOD.

WOW...

YOU GOOGLED ME?

NO, I'M KIDDING.

YOUR MOM-- YOUR MOM TOLD MEIT WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY.

WELL, LOOK AT YOU TWO,

BFF'S NOW?

YEAH, NO, SHE FRIENDED ME.

SHE FRIENDED YOU.

YEAH.

WOW, OKAY.

UM, ANYWAY,

I JUST WANTEDTO GIVE YOU THIS.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

AN IPOD.

THAT'S PRETTY GREAT.

BUT HOW DID YOU KNOW THATI NEEDED A NEW ONE?

I JUST--I HAD A FEELING.

MM-HMM.

I GOTTA GO,

I HAVE A BIG, IMPORTANT MEETINGWITH A PAPER LANTERN MAKER,

SO I'M GONNA...

BUT HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

THANK YOU.

OF COURSE, YEAH.

UM... FRIDAY?IS IT FRIDAY?

SATURDAY.

SATURDAY? WONDERFUL.

-HAPPY BIRTHDAY.-THANK YOU.

THERE'STHE BRIDE, HI.

HEY.

OOH, PRETTY FLOWERSFROM ROBERT.

OH...!

BIGGER BREATH, BIGGER BREATH, BIGGER BREATH!

ONLY ONE GIRLFRIEND.

-YOU CAN GET IT, YOU CAN GET IT!-ONE MORE!

NICE ONE!

I HOPE ALL YOUR WISHESCOME TRUE, MY DARLING.

WELL, THEY WILL,

AFTER I HAVE A PIECEOF THIS CAKE.

SURE, YEAH.CUT IT UP.

MOM...

WHAT? OH!TOO SMALL, RIGHT?

I FORGOT.

I FORGOT WHO I WASDEALING WITH HERE.

WE'LL TAKE IT, WE'LL TAKE IT,

AND WE'LL COME BACKFOR SECONDS.

HOW ABOUT YOU AND ISPLIT THIS, HUH, BUDDY?

WE'RE GONNA HEAD OFFINTO THE OTHER ROOM,

WATCH SOME TEENAGEMUTANT NINJA TURTLES.

MY GIFT TO YOU,

LADIES TIME.

AW...

SEE YOU GUYS LATER.LET'S GO, BUDDY.

OKAY, SO, YOU GUYSARE NEVER GOING TO BELIEVE

WHAT HAPPENED TODAY.

GEORGE AND ROBERTBOTH CAME TO SEE ME AT WORK.

NO.

NOT GOOD.DID THEY MEET?

NO, THEY JUSTMISSED EACH OTHER.

THEY PASSED EACH OTHERIN THE HALLWAY.

PHEW.CLOSE CALL.

BUT, MORE IMPORTANTLY, WHAT DID THEY GET YOU?

GEORGE BROUGHT ME FLOWERS.

LILIES.

OH, YOUR FAVORITE.

SCORE ONE FOR GEORGE.

I MEAN, THAT'SA PERSONAL GIFT

WITHOUT BEINGTOO OVER THE TOP.

YEAH, AND, UM, ROBERT...

ROBERT GOT ME A NEW IPOD.

OH.

ELECTRONICS?

WELL, HE KNOWS THATMINE IS BROKEN,

SO HE, YEAH, HE GOT ME A NEW ONE.

YEAH, BUT YOU'RE NOTHIS NEPHEW.

I MEAN, AN IPOD, IT'S NOT REALLY PERSONAL.

WAIT, WHY ISNOT PERSONAL?

OKAY, HE KNEWSHE NEEDED ONE,

AND HE GOT HERWHAT SHE NEEDED--

YEAH, BUTDR. SUSIE SAYS IF--

I DON'T CARE WHATDR. SUSIE SAYS.

I THINK AN IPODIS AN APPROPRIATE GIFT,

AND IT'S CERTAINLYGOING TO LAST

A LOT LONGERTHAN FLOWERS.

ONE THING THATCONCERNS ME, THOUGH,

IS, UM...

HOW LONG ARE YOU PLANNING

ON DATINGBOTH GEORGE AND ROBERT

AT THE SAME TIME?

I DON'T THINK IT'S FAIRTO EITHER OF THEM--

MOM'S RIGHT.

"THE HANDBOOK" WAS INTENDED

TO WEED OUTTHE WRONG KIND OF MAN,

NOT STRING MULTIPLE MEN ALONG.

OKAY, BUT I'M NOTSTRINGING THEM ALONG,

I'M JUST GETTINGTO KNOW THEM BETTER

SO THAT I DON'T MAKETHE WRONG DECISION

AGAIN.

OKAY, BUT EVENTUALLY

ONE OF THEM IS GOING TOFIND OUT ABOUT THE OTHER,

AND SOMEONE'SGOING TO GET HURT,

AND IT'S PROBABLYGOING TO BE YOU.

CLEARLY, THEY BOTH LIKE YOU,

BUT YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TOMAKE A DECISION EVENTUALLY.

UGH, I WILL MAKEA DECISION,

BUT HOW?

HOW DO I CHOOSE?

OH!

IT'S TIME TOBRING OUT THE CHECK-LIST.

OH, THERE'S A CHECK-LIST?.

OF COURSETHERE'S A CHECK-LIST.

OKAY, HERE'S THE PLAN.

YOU GO OUT WITHGEORGE AND ROBERT

FOR ANOTHER WEEK...

OKAY...

THEN WE'LL SEEHOW THEY RATE,

AND WE'LL ELIMINATE

WHOEVER DOESN'T REACHALL THE REQUIREMENTS.

I DON'T KNOW.

I JUST THINKIT'S KIND OF WEIRD

TO USE A CHECK-LISTTO FIND LOVE.

I THINK IT SHOULD BEABOUT THE HEART AND FEELINGS.

SURE, BUT THEN

YOU END UP WITHANOTHER PETER,

OR JAMIE,

OR JACK.

NADIA'S RIGHT.

I HAVE BEEN FOLLOWING DR. SUSIETHIS ENTIRE WAY THROUGH,

AND IF I WANT TO SUCCEED,

I HAVE TO STICK WITH ITTILL THE VERY END.

IT'S DECISION TIME.

BY NOW, YOU SHOULD KNOW

IF THE PERSON YOU'VE BEEN SPENDING TIME WITH

IS WORTH ELEVATING TO THE NEXT LEVEL.

I GOT THIS, DR. SUSIE.

"SOME FINAL THINGSFOR YOU TO CONSIDER ARE,

"HOW WELL DOES HE KNOW YOU,

"HOW MUCH EFFORT AND PLANNING

"DOES HE PUT INTOYOUR TIME TOGETHER?

"AND FINALLY,

"DOES HE RESPECTYOUR BOUNDARIES?

YOU GET TO DETERMINEHOW AND WHEN YOUR DATE ENDS."

ALL RIGHT, I'VE GOTTHE CHECK-LIST READY.

LET'S SEEHOW THE GUYS DID.

QUESTION ONE,

DID HE MAKE ADEQUATE PLANSFOR THE EVENING?

OKAY, WELL, GEORGE--

GEORGE TOOK ME TO A CONCERT.

I LOVE CONCERTS.

-A QUARTET.-NOT SO MUCH.

THIS QUARTET PLAYSALL OVER THE WORLD.

YOU WORK SO HARD,

I THOUGHT YOU MIGHTENJOY SOMETHING SOOTHING

AND RELAXING.

SOUNDS LIKE A NICECHANGE OF PACE.

I THOUGHT YOU MIGHTNOT APPRECIATE BACH

OR TCHAIKOVSKY,

TOO BORING.

THIS GROUPIS QUITE WHIMSICAL.

TONIGHT, THEY'LL BE PLAYINGPOPULAR MOVIE SCORES.

EVERYTHING FROM"LAWRENCE OF ARABIA"

TO "JAWS."

SO, LESS CHANCE OF USFALLING ASLEEP.

THE THEME FROM "JAWS"?

MM-HMM.

IT WAS ACTUALLY--IT WAS REALLY GOOD.

SO, IT ENDED UP BEINGTHE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS.

WHY DIDN'T YOU JUSTGO TO A MOVIE?

BECAUSE HE MADEAN EFFORT.

HE CONSIDERED HER LIKES,

PLANNED AHEAD,

AND SHE LIKED IT.

POINT, GEORGE.

OKAY, NOW, WHAT ABOUT ROBERT?

WELL, ROBERT STARTED STRONG...

JUST GRAB A SEATANYWHERE.

YEAH, YOU HAVE NO IDEA

HOW LONG THE WAIT ISTO GET A SEAT IN THIS PLACE.

I CAN ONLY IMAGINE.

YOU KNOW, ACTUALLY, I ALMOST CALLED

TO MAKE A RESERVATION.

DID YOU?

WELL, LET'S SITAT THE COUNTER.

GREAT.

WELL, I'M NOT SURE

ABOUT ROBERT'SCHOICE OF RESTAURANT.

IT'S A DATE,

HE COULD HAVE PICKEDSOMEWHERE NICER.

GEORGE TOOK YOUTO A CONCERT--

YEAH, WHERE THEY COULDN'TTALK TO EACH OTHER.

NOPE. I'M GOING TOSAY NO CHECK.

NEXT QUESTION,

OH, THIS IS A BIG ONE.

IS YOUR DATE GENUINE?

I MEAN, IS HEBEING TRUE TO HIMSELF,

OR IS HE PUTTING ON AIRSTO IMPRESS YOU?

AH! SO BORING.

IS THERE ANYTHINGGOOD ON THAT SHEET?

LIKE, IS THERE ANYTHINGABOUT ROMANCE THERE?

SKIPPING AHEAD...

PLEASE.

IS THE EVENINGROMANTIC THROUGHOUT?

WELL...

FOR YOU.

THANK YOU.

WOW.

WELL, YOU CERTAINLYKNOW THE WAY

TO A GIRL'S HEART.

-I CERTAINLY HOPE SO.-CHEERS.

-CHEERS.-CHEERS.

HEY, FOLKS, WHAT CAN I DO YOU FOR?

HI, BOSS, UM...

WHAT ARE YOURSPECIALS TONIGHT?

WE GOT A STEAK SALAD,

BUT WE ARE KNOWNFOR OUR WING SAMPLER.

I WILL HAVETHE STEAK SALAD.

AND WHAT DO YOU RECOMMEND?

THE WING SAMPLER.

OKAY, WELL, I'M GONNA MAKE IT EASY ON YOU,

I'M GOING TO GET THE WINGS.

FIVE

BOLD FLAVORS OF WINGS.

I MEAN, HAVE YOU EVERHEARD OF SO MANY FLAVORS

ON ONE CHICKEN BODY PART?

NO, YOU KNOW, I CAN'T SAY THAT I HAVE.

RIGHT, WHICH MAKES ME THINKYOU'RE GOING TO EAT MY WINGS.

NO, I ORDEREDTHE STEAK SALAD.

THAT'S ALLMAJOR FOOD GROUPS

IN JUST ONE SALAD, SO WE'RE GOOD.

I DOUBT IT, I DOUBT IT.

HEY, SIR?

COULD YOU SAVE US A PIECE

OF THAT SEVEN LAYER TOWERCHOCOLATE CAKE FOR US?

'CAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOWWHAT HAPPENS IF YOU DON'T.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

THEY'RE FAMOUSFOR THEIR CAKE.

"SEVEN LAYERS OFCHOCOLATEY HEAVEN.

CAN YOU CLIMB THE TOWER?"

OH, WELL, I DIDN'T WEARMY HIKING BOOTS,

BUT IF IT'S CHOCOLATE,

IT'S ON.

LOOK AT THAT, CONFIDENT.

CLEARLY, HE KNOWS THE WAYTO CASS'S HEART

IS THROUGH HER STOMACH.

FINE. HOW WAS THE FOOD?

IT WAS DELICIOUS.

MM!

SORRY FOR THE WAITON THOSE, GUYS.

THANK YOU.

THAT IS VERY GOOD.

THAT IS AMAZING.

YEAH.

THEY'RE AMAZING.

MM... WOW.

ALL RIGHT, HERE,

THERE'S FIVEBOLD FLAVORS.

YOU MIGHT AS WELLPREPARE.

OH, I PLAN ON IT.

OKAY, HE LET YOUSHARE HIS FOOD WITH HIM,

THAT'S ROMANTIC.

POINT, ROBERT.

WELL...

CASS, ARE YOUALL RIGHT?

YOU LOOK...

RED, GREEN, AND PALE

ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

I'M GONNA GET YOU A WET TOWEL.

IT'S JUSTA LITTLE RASH.

UM...

WAIT A SECOND, WAS THERE--WAS THERE HONEY IN THE...

UH-OH.

CASS? CASS!

CASS?

CASS?

OH, MY GOSH,

SHE'S BEEN STABBED!

DOMINIC, CALL 9-1-1!

WOW...

THAT'S...

YEAH, I KNOW.

UNFORTUNATE.

ANOTHER POINT LOSTFOR ROBERT.

OH, COME ON!

HOW WAS HESUPPOSED TO KNOW

THAT SHE HAD AN ALLERGY?

PLUS, SHE WASEATING OFF HIS PLATE.

YEAH, "BY NOW,

HE SHOULD KNOWALL ABOUT YOU--"

OH, YOU KNOW WHAT,

I WAS MARRIED TO YOUR FATHERFOR 26 YEARS,

AND HE STILLCOULDN'T TELL YOU

WHAT I'D LIKEON A HOT DOG.

DIDN'T MEANHE DIDN'T CARE.

OKAY, WELL, WE'RE JUST

GOING TO HAVE TO AGREETO DISAGREE ON THIS ONE.

AND NOW, BACK TO THE LIST,

FINAL QUESTION...

YES.

END OF THE DATE, DOES HE RESPECT YOUR BOUNDARIES?

WELL...

I GUESS, UH, THIS IS GOOD NIGHT.

THAT WAS REALLY FUN,

GOING TO THE STRING QUARTET.

I NEVER WOULD HAVE CHOSENSOMETHING LIKE THAT,

BUT IT WAS NICE.

WELL, I CAN TELLYOU ENJOYED IT.

YOU'VE BEEN HUMMING THE THEMEFROM "JAWS" SINCE WE LEFT.

IT'S VERY SWEET.

UM...

I WOULD INVITE YOU UP, BUT I-- I JUST...

WHEN YOU'RE READY.

I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE.

HE HUGGED YOU?

I WISH IT WEREN'T TRUE.

HE WAS BEING RESPECTFUL.

POINT GEORGE.

RESPECTFUL, YES.

ROMANTIC, NO.

OKAY, WELL, LOOK, IT...IT WAS NICE.

I WOULD SAY THAT IT WAS...

IT WAS ROMANTICUP UNTIL THAT POINT.

OKAY, LET'S JUSTMOVE ON TO ROBERT.

YEAH, LET'S, PLEASE.

OKAY, WELL...

UM...

THANK YOU FOR

RIDING WITH MEIN THE AMBULANCE

TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM.

THAT WAS A DATEFOR THE MEMORY BOOKS.

NO, IT'S JUST,

I'M SORRY THATTONIGHT TURNED OUT

THE WAY THAT IT DID.

CAN I HAVEA REDO, PLEASE?

YEAH. YEAH, WE'LL DEFINITELYGIVE IT ANOTHER SHOT.

LOOK, I KNOW THATYOU'RE CAPABLE

OF TAKING CAREOF YOURSELF,

BUT I WOULD FEEL BETTERIF I STAYED,

JUST TOMAKE SURE THAT YOU'RE OKAY.

THAT'S REALLY SWEET, BUT I, UH, I JUST NEED TO GET SOME SLEEP.

I'M NOT TRYINGTO BE WEIRD.

I JUST-- IT WOULD MAKEME FEEL A LOT BETTER

SERIOUSLY.

OKAY.

VERY SWEET. VERY CONSIDERATE.

HOW LONG DID HE STAY?

WE BOTH FELL ASLEEP.

NO!

NO, NO, NO.

OH.

HEY, DUKE.

HI, BUD.

I'VE GOT TO GO SEE DAISY.

AND THEN WHEN I WOKE UPIN THE MORNING,

HE WAS JUST GONE.

THAT IS A SERIOUSINFRACTION.

BOUNDARIES BREACHED.

AT FIRST, YOU WANTED HIM TO LEAVE,

AND THEN HE STAYSOVERNIGHT,

AND THEN HE LEAVESWITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE?

I HATE TO SAY IT,

BUT IT'S NOT LOOKING GOODFOR ROBERT.

OH, COME ON, IT MAY NOTHAVE GONE PERFECTLY,

BUT HE WAS REALLY TRYING--

NOT HARD ENOUGH.

ONE BAD DATE, OKAY?

CASS, YOU HAVE TO ADMIT

THAT THERE'S SOMETHINGBETWEEN YOU TWO, RIGHT?

I SAW YOU GUYS.

YOU CAN'T DENY THAT YOUHAVE FEELINGS FOR ROBERT.

I DO.

I LIKE HIM.

I REALLY LIKE HIM.

WELL, THAT'S ALLTHAT SHOULD MATTER.

NO...

ACCORDING TO THE HANDBOOK, THERE NEEDS TO BE MORE.

THERE NEEDSTO BE CONSISTENCY

AND RELIABILITY.

THAT'S GREATIF YOU WANT HUGS

FOR THE RESTOF YOUR LIFE.

TELL ME SOMETHING,

WHEN YOU LOOK INTO GEORGE'S EYES

DOES IT FEEL THE SAME AS WHENYOU LOOK INTO ROBERT'S EYES?

THOSE FEELINGS FADE

WHEN YOU HAVE KIDSAND YOU WORK,

AND YOU'RE SEWINGSTRAWBERRY COSTUMES

LATE INTO THE NIGHT,

AND MICHAEL COMESHOME TIRED, AND...

THIS IS NOT ABOUT ME,

BUT I THINKI'VE MADE MY POINT.

OKAY, MOM, LOOK, I...

I COMPLETELY SEEWHAT YOU'RE SAYING,

AND I'VE...

I'VE HAD THOSE FEELINGS BEFORE,

AND THEY'VE GOTTEN ME NOWHERE.

I LIKE GEORGE, AND I LIKE ROBERT--

IT'S NOT FAIRTO EITHER OF THEM.

I HAVE TO MAKE A DECISION.

HEY, IT'S CASS.

UM...

I WAS THINKING, AND I, UM...

I...

I DON'T THINK THAT WE SHOULDSEE EACH OTHER ANYMORE.

YEAH.

YEAH, I'M SURE.

I'M SORRY.

I LIKE IT.

PRETTY GOOD, RIGHT?

GOOD COLOR SCHEME, NICE FONT SIZE,

GOOD PLACEMENT,

AND IT'S THE RIGHTTYPE OF "FUTBOL".

DANA?

YEAH, IT LOOKS GOOD.

FINALLY.

LET'S GET THEMINTO PRODUCTION.

I AM SO ON THIS.

HOW MANY?

A THOUSAND, RIGHT.

I SHOULD HAVEKNOWN THAT.

THAT WAS DUE, LIKE, THREE WEEKS AGO, RIGHT?

YEAH, BUT HIS DAD WASSO SUPPORTIVE OF ME

WHEN I WAS GETTING STARTED,

SO I JUST, I WANT TOPAY IT FORWARD WITH HIM.

ALL RIGHT.

CLOSE THE DOOR!

IS CASS HERE?

DID SHE SAY WHENSHE WAS GOING TO COME?

SHE DIDN'T,

ONLY THAT SHE WAS GOING TOBRING A FRIEND WITH HER.

THE SUSPENSEIS KILLING ME.

IS IT GOING TO BEROBERT OR GEORGE?

IS IT ROBERT, GEORGE?

MAYBE SHE GOT TOGETHERWITH THAT PETER GUY AGAIN?

MICHAEL, THIS IS CASS'S LIFE, NOT SOME ROMANTIC TV MOVIE.

OKAY, IT'S KILLING ME, TOO.I'M HOPING IT'S ROBERT.

NO WAY!

THE BOOK SAYSIT HAS TO BE GEORGE.

WELL, I HOPE SHE THREWTHAT RIDICULOUS BOOK AWAY.

GUYS, SHE'S HERE!

SHE'S HERE!

AND THE WINNER IS...

-WHO IS THAT?-GEORGE.

GEORGE!

GEORGE.

OKAY, HANG UPYOUR COATS

AT THE FRONT!

OR DROP THEMON THE GROUND, WHATEVER!

UM, WE NEEDMORE DINO DOGS.

MORE DINO DOGS.

REALLY? OKAY.GOOD, GOOD!

HERE YOU GO.

QUITE A PARTY.

I AM SO GLADYOU GUYS COULD MAKE IT.

I KNOWA DINOSAUR PARTY

ISN'T HIGH ON MOST PEOPLE'SWEEKEND TO-DO LIST.

WELL, IT'S NICETO MEET ALL OF YOU.

CASS HAS BEEN TELLING MEA LOT ABOUT YOU.

AND IT'S GREATTO MEET YOU, FINALLY.

CASS HAS BEEN TELLINGUS ALL ABOUT YOU.

STRING QUARTET?IMPRESSIVE.

THIS IS VERY IMPRESSIVE.

THE DINOSAUR CAKE...

AND "PIN THE TAILON THE BRACHIOAURAS,"

AND "FEED THE T-REX."

AND OUTSIDE, WE HAVE A JURASSIC JUMPHOUSE.

YES, BECAUSE, APPARENTLY, JURASSIC IS IN AGAIN!

UM, WELL, HE HAS NOT METTHE BIRTHDAY BOY YET,

SO WE'RE GOINGTO GO DO THAT.

-YES.-RIGHT OVER HERE.

SO THAT'S GEORGE?

I LIKE HIM.

I CAN READ YOULIKE A BOOK.

HMM.

HEY, CASS!

HEY.

YOU MUST BE GEORGE!

NICE TO MEET YOU.MICHAEL.

HI, NICETO MEET YOU, TOO.

SO, I GUESS CONGRATULATIONSARE IN ORDER, HUH?

OKAY, THANKS...

FOR, UM, FOR WHAT?

WELL, YOU'VE PASSEDTHE TESTS,

YOU'VE BEENDECLARED THE WINNER,

YOU BEATALL THE OTHER SUITORS...

WELL PLAYED, GOOD SIR!

HE'S PRETENDINGTO BE A KING...

DRAGON-SLAYER,

ALL THOSE MEDIEVAL THINGS.

HONEY, IT'S A DINOSAUR PARTY.

DINOSAUR PARTY, RIGHT.

THERE ARE NO SUITORS.

NO SUITORS.

RIGHT, THERE'SNO SUITORS.

OF COURSE, THERE'S NO SUITORS.

RIGHT, OH, TOTALLY, YEAH.

AH, PINATA!

YEAH, PINATA!

LET'S JUST DO...WE... WHY DON'T WE...

CAN YOU HELP MEIN THE LIVING ROOM

WITH THE PINATA?

SURE, OF COURSE.

COULD WE DO THAT?THANKS, THANK YOU.

I WAS JUST THINKING

THAT THOSE KIDSNEED SOME MORE SUGAR.

ALL RIGHT, JEREMY, GIVE IT A GOOD WHACK!

OKAY, LOOK OUT...WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

THAT HURT!

OH, LOOK OUT!

WHOA, I'M GETTING DIZZY.

THE KID'S GOTA GREAT SWING, HUH?

EASIER WITHOUTTHE BLINDFOLD ON.

KIND OF CHEATING, DON'T YOU THINK?

HE'S A KID.IT'S ABOUT THE CANDY.

WHOA!

I SUPPOSE.

STILL, IT'S A GOODTEACHING MOMENT.

CHEATING'S NOT GOING TO GET HIMANYWHERE IN LIFE.

DID SOMEONESAY LAVA JUICE?

I WOULD LOVE SOME, WOULDN'T YOU?

THERE WE GO...

HE'S POLITE, MATURE, FOCUSED...

I DON'T KNOW.SEEMS A BIT STIFF TO ME.

MOM! SHH!

HE MIGHT HEAR YOU.

LOOK, HE'S NOT STIFF, HE JUST...

COMING TO THIS PARTY, MEETING ALL OF YOU AT ONCE...

I THINKIT WAS A LITTLE OVERWHELMING.

AND YOU'VE GOTTO GIVE HIM CREDIT

FOR HAVING THE COURAGETO SHOW UP AT THIS ZOO.

THAT'S SOMETHING THATPETER NEVER WOULD HAVE DONE.

OUR LITTLE CASSIS ALL GROWN UP.

GOING FOR THE ADULT, NOT THE NONCOMMITTAL.

WELL, IF YOU SAY SO...

OH, COME ON, MOM.YOU'VE GOT TO GIVE HIM A CHANCE.

HOW ABOUT THIS?

I WILL INVITE HIM TO THE HOUSETO HAVE DINNER,

AND THEN YOU'LL GETTO KNOW HIM BETTER.

OKAY, THAT SOUNDS FAIR.

MICHAEL... KIDS...

T-REX...

NOPE.THIS ALL WORKS.

I NAILED THIS PARTY.

IS IT BAD?

I THINK I CAN SEEWHERE IT'S COMING FROM.

SHOULD HAVE IT AS GOOD AS NEWIN NO TIME.

DO YOU THINKI SHOULD CALL A PLUMBER?

NO, NO.IT'S ALL RIGHT.

I GOT THIS.JUST ONE SEC.

THERE WE GO.OKAY.

IT'S GOOD?WOW!

THINK SO.

THANK YOU!

I MEAN, IT'S...

IT'S REALLY NICEOF YOU, GEORGE.

I DON'T KNOWWHY I'M SURPRISED,

BECAUSE YOU'REALWAYS SO DEPENDABLE,

BUT... I CANREALLY RELY ON YOU.

I LOVE THAT.

WELL, THANK YOU.

EE....

DUKE...

BEHAVE.

IT'S ALL RIGHT.HE'S JUST BEING PROTECTIVE.

ONCE HE SPENDSMORE TIME WITH YOU,

HE'LL WARM UP TO YOU.

I'M SURE HE WILL.

ANYWAY, SINK PROBLEM FIXED.

WOW...

NOW, IF ONLY YOU COULDINSTALL SNOW TIRES.

OH, NO, CASSANDRA,

YOU REALLY HAVE TO GET THATDONE BY A PROFESSIONAL.

THE INSURANCE INSTITUTEFOR HIGHWAY SAFETY

RECOMMENDS THAT RADIALSBE USED ALL YEAR ROUND NOW.

INTERESTING.

DID THEY TELL YOU THATPERSONALLY?

AS A MATTER OF FACT, THEY DID.

THAT'S...

I WILL MAKE SUREI DO THAT

FIRST THINGIN THE MORNING.

MR. ZAPPIA.

YEAH?

YOU'RE ALL SET.

I'LL GRAB YOUR KEYSAND YOU CAN ROLL OUT OF HERE.

AWESOME.THANK YOU SO MUCH.

YOU BET.

YEAH, AND THANKS FORLETTING ME HANG MY POSTER.

NO PROBLEM.LOOKS GOOD.

OH, THANKS.

MS. BRAND...

HI.

YOU'RE NEVER GOINGTO BELIEVE THIS,

BUT WE JUST RAN OUTOF RUBBER.

WHAT?

I'M JUST KIDDING.

A LITTLE TIRE HUMOR THEREFOR YOU,

BUT IT WASN'T "WHEELY" FUNNY.

WE DON'T HAVE YOURTIRES IN STOCK,

BUT WE CAN GET THEM HEREIN A COUPLE HOURS.

-DO YOU WANT TO WAIT?-UM...

COFFEE AND A COUCH.

YOU KNOW WHAT?I'LL WAIT OUTSIDE.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

HEY!

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

IF YOU WANTTO HIDE FROM ME,

YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO RUNFASTER THAN THAT.

ROBERT.

-HI.-HI.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I'M GETTING MYTRANSMISSION WORKED ON.

YOU?

UH, JUST...WAITING FOR TIRES.

AH.

YEAH.

SO HERE WE WAIT.

TOGETHER.

MM-HMM...

SO... OUR DATE.

I'M REALLY SORRYFOR THE WAY THINGS ENDED,

AND YOU HAVE TO KNOW,

HONESTLY, IT WASN'TANYTHING THAT YOU DID.

IT WAS ME.I KNOW HOW THAT SOUNDS.

IT'S JUST...

I ALWAYS GOFOR THE SAME TYPE OF GUY,

AND I NEED TO START MAKINGBETTER CHOICES

IN THAT DEPARTMENT.

SO...INSTEAD OF GIVING ME A CHANCE,

YOU JUST DECIDED TO SABOTAGE

ANY POSSIBILITYOF A RELATIONSHIP?

YEAH, PRETTY MUCH.

I'M JUST...

I'M TRYING TO CHANGE THE WAYI CHOOSE MY RELATIONSHIPS,

AND YOU HAPPENED TO GET CAUGHTIN THE MIDDLE OF THAT,

SO I'M SORRY.

OKAY.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR HONESTY.

YEAH.

OKAY.

WE CAN STAND HERE, WAITING,

PROBABLY ENDLESSLY,

OR...

THERE'S A BOWLING ALLEYUP THE STREET.

WE COULD BOWL AWAYOUR BOREDOM.

OH, I DON'T THINKIT'S A REALLY GOOD IDEA.

WELL, OKAY.

ALL RIGHT, I'M GOING TO GO,

'CAUSE I'M GOINGTO GO BOWL,

BUT YOU CAN STAY HERE,

'CAUSE THIS PARKING LOT, THIS LOOKS AWESOME.

THAT LOOKS LIKEA LOT OF FUN IN THERE,

THE WAITING ROOM,

SO YOU HAVE FUN.

OKAY, I WILL COME...

AS A FRIEND.

OKAY.

MR. ZAPPIA, I'VE GOT A...

COUPLE MORE HOURSON YOUR CAR.

ALL RIGHT.

FRIENDS.

FRIENDS.

AH, THANK YOU.

WAITING, LIKE, A HALF AN HOUR FOR THESE.

OKAY, QUIET, PLEASE!

I WANT TO HEAR A PIN DROP.

SPARE ME.

OKAY...

NICE SHOT.

OH!

UNBELIEVABLE.

THANK YOU.

I WAS, UH, 6TH GRADEBOWLING CHAMPION

IN MY ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.

I'VE GOT THE TROPHIESTO PROVE IT, SO...

IMPRESSIVE...NO, NO, NO! UH-UH.

I DON'T SHARE MY FRENCH FRIESWITH MY "FRIENDS."

WOW. OKAY.

BE A FRENCH-FRY HOG.

HEY, LOOK IT, YOU CAN CALL MEWHATEVER YOU WANT.

I'M JUST...

I'M NOT GOING TO SHAREMY FOOD WITH YOU ANYMORE.

OKAY, BUT NOWIT'S YOUR TURN,

SO WHAT ARE YOU GOINGTO DO ABOUT YOUR FRIES?

WATCH.

ARE...

REALLY?

YEAH.

OH!

GUTTER BALL!

OH, THAT'S A SHAME,

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?

I WILL GIVE YOUA DO-OVER...

FOR THE FRIES.

NO...

I'M GOING TO KEEPMY GUTTER BALL,

AND I'M GOING TO KEEPMY TASTY FRENCH FRIES.

OKAY, BUT WHAT IFWE SHARE THE FRIES

AND, UM...

THE LOSER PAYS FOR THEM.

WHY DO I FEEL LIKEI'M BEING HUSTLED RIGHT NOW?

DO WE HAVE A DEAL?

YEAH, YEAH.IT'S YOUR TURN.

THANK YOU.

THIS IS WHEREI GET MY REVENGE.

AAH...

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

PLAYING DEFENSE.

WE'RE BOWLING.

YEAH, THERE'S A WHOLE BASKETOF TASTY FRIES AT STAKE.

I'M HOLDINGA BOWLING BALL.

I COULD HURT YOU.

I'LL TAKE MY CHANCES.

YEAH?OKAY! FAIR ENOUGH.

YES!

UNBELIEVABLE.

THIS IS WHY CHEATING

WON'T GET YOUANYWHERE IN LIFE.

DID YOU REALLYJUST SAY THAT?

I DID. YOU'RE UP.

OY. ALL RIGHT.

ARE YOU READY?

YES.

COME ON.

AW, SEE?

AND THIS IS WHYYOU SHOULDN'T CHEAT.

I'M SORRY. I CAN'T.

ARE YOU SURE?

YEAH.

UH... I'M SORRY.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOUFOR THE GAME.

OH, GEORGE, THE DESSERTS ARE SO BEAUTIFUL.

WELL, DINNER WAS SO DELICIOUS,

I THOUGHT BRINGING DESSERTFROM MY FAVORITE PATISSERIE

WAS THE LEAST I COULD DO.

GEORGE, I WASJUST TRYING

TO EXPLAIN TO MY MOM

EXACTLY WHAT IT ISYOU DO FOR A LIVING,

BUT I THOUGHT MAYBE

YOU COULD EXPLAIN ITEVEN BETTER.

WELL, I CAN TRY. UM...

I AM A GROUP MANAGERFOR AN INSURANCE SERVICE.

WE INVESTIGATEAUTOMOBILE ACCIDENTS

AND HELP DETERMINELIABILITY

AND PROVIDECOST ANALYSIS.

OOH, THAT SOUNDS EXCITING!

SO IT'S KIND OF LIKE YOU GO OUTAND INVESTIGATE,

LIKE A DETECTIVE...

NO, WE DON'T GO OUTAND INVESTIGATE.

I MANAGE A GROUP OF PEOPLE

THAT LOOK AT THE EVIDENCESURROUNDING AN ACCIDENT.

OKAY, SO THEY'RE THE DETECTIVES?

NOT REALLY.

NO.

AH...SORT OF, I SUPPOSE.

AS A TEAM, WE LOOK ATTHE EVIDENCE

AND TALK TO WITNESSES,

GET STATEMENTSFROM DRIVERS,

THEN I SPEND HOURS

CALCULATING LOSS RATIOS

AND NEGOTIATING...

TRYING TO SAVE THE COMPANYAS MUCH MONEY AS POSSIBLE.

MM.

I, UM...

I ACTUALLY BROUGHT ENOUGHFOR US EACH TO HAVE ONE.

OF COURSE.

GLORIA, WHAT DO YOU DO FOR FUN?

OH, WELL, UM...

I LIKE TO PLAYON MY IPAD.

I JUST DISCOVERED FACEBOOK.

THAT'S ONE OFTHOSE TIME KILLERS

I'VE THANKFULLY NEVER BEENINTERESTED IN...

GEORGE.

UM...BUT IF YOU ENJOY IT,

THEN BY ALL MEANS, KEEP DOING IT.

SO, I KNOW HOW YOU GUYS MET,

BUT TELL ME, WHAT DO YOU TWO DO FOR FUN?

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?

GEORGE AND IARE BOTH SO...

ADVENTUROUS,

AND WE LIKETO DISCOVER...

NEW MUSIC, AND FINE DINING,

AND, UM...AND ART.

REALLY?

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU LIKED ART.

YEAH, YOU DID...

AND GOINGTO A GALLERY

THAT I'VE NEVERBEEN TO BEFORE.

I MEAN, AS GEORGE SAID, IT'S...

THAT IS...

ADVENTURE.

IT REALLY IS.

HEAR HEAR.

YEAH.

YOU HAVEAN AMAZING DAUGHTER.

THANK YOU.I KNOW.

I'LL CALL YOU TOMORROW.

YEAH, GOOD NIGHT.

HAD A WONDERFUL EVENING.

WHOO!

OKAY...

SO...

SECOND IMPRESSION?

WELL, UM, YOU KNOW,

HIS WORK SEEMS IMPORTANTAND USEFUL.

MM-HMM.

UH...

HE'S VERY POLITE, AND GOOD MANNERS, AND...

AND YOU DON'T LIKE HIM.

NO, I DON'T, REALLY, UM...

BUT I...

I DON'T UNDERSTANDWHY YOU LIKE HIM.

I LIKE HIMFOR PLENTY OF REASONS.

HE'S RELIABLE,

DEPENDABLE...

HE'S WELL PUT TOGETHER.

YOU KNOW...

THOSE ARE GREAT WORDS

WHEN DESCRIBINGA MAJOR APPLIANCE,

BUT NOT WHEN YOU'RE TALKINGABOUT YOUR BOYFRIEND.

WHAT ABOUT "FUN?"WHAT ABOUT "EXCITING?"

RIGHT, RIGHT, BUT WE KNOWTHAT I'M TRYING TO GROW AWAY

FROM BEING ATTRACTEDTO THAT KIND OF GUY, RIGHT?

AGAIN WITH THAT BOOK...

LOOK...

I AM TRYING TO FIND A MAN

WHO WILL ACTUALLY COMMITTO A MATURE RELATIONSHIP,

AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

THAT COULD BE GEORGE.

YEAH, I JUST...

LISTEN, HONEY, I...

I DON'T KNOWANYTHING ABOUT ANYTHING

IN THIS MODERN WORLD OF OURS,

BUT I LISTEN WHEN YOU AND NADIAARE TALKING

ABOUT WHAT DR. SUSIE PROMOTES,

AND ONE OF THETHINGS SHE ASKS,

IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY...

"IS HE GENUINE,

OR IS HE ACTING DIFFERENTLYTO WIN YOU OVER?"

YOU DON'T THINKHE'S BEING GENUINE?

NO, I DEFINITELY THINKHE'S BEING GENUINE.

THE QUESTION IS...

ARE YOU?

DON'T MIND HIM.

HE'S AN HERBIVORE.

HE ONLY EATS BUSHES, TREES, AND GOLF BALLS,

BUT YOU NEVER KNOW

WHEN A DINOSAURCOULD RUIN YOUR GAME.

I NEVER UNDERSTOOD THE NEEDTO TAKE A FUN GAME

AND THEN ADD WINDMILLS,

AND CLOWN FACES, AND DINOSAURS.

PLUS, I DIDN'T REALIZEHOW LOUD IT WAS GOING TO BE,

BUT YOU KNOW, IF THIS ISWHAT YOU WANT TO DO...

I JUST THOUGHTTHAT IT WOULD BE FUN, MAYBE,

TO LOOSEN UP A LITTLE,

YOU KNOW, BE MORE OURSELVES.

I'LL TRY ANYTHING ONCE...

AS LONG AS IT'S WITH YOU.

OKAY.

OKAY.

BLEAGH...

NO, IT WAS GREAT!

IT'S GOOD. REALLY GOOD.

GIVE IT ANOTHER SHOT.

OKAY.

OH!

HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

JUST A LITTLE PLAYFUL DEFENSE.

IN GOLF?

IT'S MINIATURE GOLF,

AND...

LOOKS LIKEI'VE GOT A GIMME...

AND THAT IS HOWIT'S DONE.

OH, GEORGE.

IF YOU'RE NOT ENJOYING THIS,

I BET THERE'S SOME GAMESUPSTAIRS

THAT YOU MIGHT THINKARE FUN TO PLAY.

LOOK, CASSANDRA, YOU ARE AMAZING.

YOU ARE ONE OFTHE MOST INTERESTING, TALENTED,

DRIVEN WOMEN I'VE EVER MET,

AND SO IF THIS IS THE SORTOF PLACE YOU LIKE TO COME,

I'LL LEARNTO LIKE IT, TOO.

UM...

WELL, THAT'S NOTEXACTLY PRIVATE.

I DIDN'T REALIZETHAT YOU WERE SO...

SPONTANEOUS,

OR OUTGOING, OR PASSIONATE?

NO, I DON'T THINK

YOU'VE GOTTEN TO KNOWANY OF THOSE THINGS ABOUT ME

SINCE WE'VE BEEN DATING.

I GUESS I HAVEN'T.

OR THAT I'M COMPETITIVE, OR THAT I SHARE FOOD, OR...

LOOK, WE'RE JUST GETTINGTO KNOW EACH OTHER.

I'M SURE THAT I'LL LIKEALL OF THESE SIDES OF YOU.

I KNOW I WILL,

BECAUSE I'M...I'M FALLING IN...

NO.

GEORGE...

WAIT.

YOU CAN'T BE FALLING IN...

WHATEVER WITH ME,

BECAUSE THE TRUTH IS,

YOU DON'T REALLY KNOW ME.

I HAVEN'T...

I HAVEN'T BEENGENUINE WITH YOU.

I MEAN, I LET YOUCALL ME CASSANDRA.

NO ONE CALLS MEBY MY FULL NAME.

THEY DON'T?

NO.

THEY DON'T.

YOU'RE A GREAT GUY,

AND I HAVE HAD A GREAT TIMEWITH YOU,

BUT I HAVE BEENTRYING TO SEE

IF YOU COULD LIVE UPTO SOME RIDICULOUS STANDARD,

AND...

I HAVEN'T BEENMYSELF WITH YOU...

AND I CAN'T KEEP THAT UPFOR THE REST OF MY LIFE,

AND AT SOME POINT, YOU'LL FIGURE OUT

THAT I AM NOT THE GIRLTHAT YOU THINK I AM.

AND I'M REALLY SORRY.

THANK YOU.

COME ON, DUKE.

WHOO...

OKAY, GO ON.

WELCOME BACK TO "WAKE UP DENVER,"

AND IF YOU ARE LOOKING

FOR SOMETHING FUN TO DO TONIGHT,

CISSY AND I WILL BE HOSTING THE LANTERN FESTIVAL.

WE WOULD LOVE TO HAVE YOU THERE.

TO KICK THINGS OFF TODAY,

WE'RE, ONCE AGAIN, TALKING TO DR. SUSIE,

AUTHOR OF THE JUST-RELEASED BOOK

"DISSECTING DIVORCE."

"HOW TO LEAVE THAT NOT-SO-PERFECT MATE BEHIND."

AFTER SEVERAL SUCCESSFUL

SELF-HELP RELATIONSHIP BEST-SELLERS,

DR. SUSIE IS NOW HELPING THOSE WHO HAVE LOVED AND LOST.

DR. SUSIE, CAN YOU GIVE US SOME ADVICE?

WELL, AS YOU KNOW, KYLE,

I AM IN THE MIDST

OF WHAT IS BECOMING A VERY PUBLIC DIVORCE,

AND, LADIES, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW

THAT AFTER A BREAK-UP,

YES, YOU WILL HAVE MOMENTS OF DOUBT,

AND YOU WILL WANT TO BLAME YOURSELF FOR THE LOSS,

BUT LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING...

IT IS NOT YOU.

IT'S THE MAN!

SO TRUE.

UGH...

WHOA!

HI.

"THE DATER'S HANDBOOK?"

REALLY? YOU?

I DON'T KNOWWHY YOU'RE SO SURPRISED.

WE ALL KNOW MY DATING HISTORY, AND...

...AND I JUST FIGURED

IF IT COULD WORKFOR YOU AND JIM, THAT...

MAYBE I'D GIVE IT A TRY.

YOU THINK JIM AND I...?

PLEASE!

I SAW IT IN YOUR DESK.

IT WAS A GAG GIFT.

DR. SUSIE WOULD NEVER APPROVEOF MY RELATIONSHIP.

JIM IS CRAZY.

NEVER WHAT HE'S GOING TO SAYOR DO FROM ONE DAY TO THE NEXT,

OR IF HE'S GOING TO SHOW UPWHEN HE'S SUPPOSED TO,

BUT...

IT'S ALWAYS A PUZZLE, AND I'M NEVER BORED.

HE'S THE MOST INTERESTINGPERSON I KNOW,

AND KEEPS ME ON MY TOESALL THE TIME...

AND, FRANKLY,

WHO WANTS SOMEONE

BORING, DEPENDABLE, AND RELIABLE ANYWAY?

HELLO, THIS IS CASSANDRA.

HEY, CASS, IT'S NADIA.

DO YOU WANT TO JOIN US AT THE LANTERN FESTIVAL TONIGHT?

JEREMY'S SO EXCITED. MOM'S COMING TOO.

-YES, UM...-GREAT.

THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN.I WOULD LOVE TO.

GREAT! WE'LL PICK YOU UP AT 6:00.

OKAY.

SEE YOU SOON!

WHAT A WONDERFUL TURNOUT!

A FANTASTIC CROWD!

GUNG HAY FAT CHOY!

WELCOME. WELCOME TO EVERYONE.

NOW, IF YOU HAVEN'TDONE SO ALREADY,

FIND YOUR LANTERN.

WE'LL BE LAUNCHING THEMIN ABOUT 10 MINUTES.

SO WE GO BACKTO THE START?

CHAPTER ONE...IT'S NOT THE MAN, IT'S YOU.

NO...

I THINK I'LL, UH...

JUST DO IT ON MY OWN NOW.

OH, SWEETIE, DON'T GIVE UP.

YOU KNOW THAT GEORGEWASN'T THE RIGHT ONE,

BUT...

THE LIST WORKS.

I SAY, WE START FRESH.

NO, I...

I THINK I KNOWWHAT I WANT NOW...

REALLY.

I'LL CATCH YOU GUYS LATER.SORRY!

ATTAGIRL.

FIND YOUR SPOT!

RAISE THOSE LANTERNS!

SORRY, SORRY...

AND HERE WE GO!

IN TEN...

NINE... EIGHT...

SEVEN...

SIX... FIVE...

FOUR...

THREE...

TWO...

ONE...

I WAS HOPINGI'D FIND YOU HERE.

HERE I AM.

I MADE A HUGE MISTAKE, AND I...

I MISJUDGED YOU,

AND I REALLY SHOULDN'T HAVE BEENJUDGING YOU AT ALL.

I SHOULD HAVE BEENGETTING TO KNOW YOU,

AND INSTEAD, I WAS FOLLOWINGTHESE RIDICULOUS GUIDELINES.

WHAT ARE YOUTALKING ABOUT?

YOU'RE...

YOU'RE FULLOF SURPRISES,

AND YOU'RE FUN, AND YOU'RE THOUGHTFUL...

I JUST WANT YOUTO KNOW THAT I WAS WRONG.

CASS, WHAT DO YOU WANTFROM ME?

I KNOW THAT I DON'T DESERVEA SECOND CHANCE,

BUT I REALLY HOPEYOU GIVE ME ONE.

I GUESSWHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY...

I'M...

AND I'M ALSO REALLY SORRYTHAT I JUST LET YOUR LANTERN GO.

IT'S OKAY.IT'S OKAY.

I'M HAPPY TO LET MY LANTERN GO,'CAUSE I AM HANGING ONTO YOU.

OOH...

CHEESY?

SO CHEESY...

CHEESY.

SO CHEESY!