Original subtitles

I still can't really explain

how it was that I came to be here.

Only that I think that all of us

are probably capable of committing an act..

...completely out of character.

And I know it's easy to look back on it now

and say, "Wow

a little extreme, don't you think?"

Because... it was.

Roger. Stand by.

I was, uh, experiencing

some financial, uh..

...some, uh, personal difficulty.

Look, you have to stop fighting this, Richard.

And I think it's true to say anyone

experiencing that kind of crisis

will always express it in their own individual way..

...and this was my way.

To take everything I had

a-all of which suddenly seemed

to be keeping me down.

And to try to reinvent it into something

that would get me up.

It's Richard again.

- Where? - He's on the roof.

What are you doing?

'Richard.'

I love you.

And, you know, in that moment

I actually thought it might work.

That finally I would get my life off the ground..

...one way or the other.

Turns out, however, that my prototype

at that time, anyway..

...was in need..

No!

...of a little refinement.

Although I have decided a custodial sentence

'would perhaps be inappropriate in this instance.'

You will be required to fulfill 120 hours

community service.

It's, uh, it's a bit rundown.

But no one's lived here for a while, eh?

What brings you here anyway?

Yeah. I'll take it.

'And you must be Richard.'

Yeah. That's right.

And, uh..

...y-yeah, you're probation.

Uh, no. Catherine. Social services.

- They passed you on to us. - Right. Okay.

Well, would you like to follow me?

Sure, yeah.

'Now, we've given you Jane.'

She's got a strain, quite a rare strain

of motor neurone disease.

So she's quite a handful but tremendous fun.

Wait, so she's in a wheelchair, then?

Oh, yes, she's in a wheelchair.

And her voice has now definitely begun to deteriorate.

Which unfortunately does usually signal

the beginning of the end.

It won't be too long before she'll have to rely

entirely on a speech machine.

We're trying to encourage her to use it more now

but quite understandably, she's reluctant.

But it is worth remembering

that mentally, she's still very much all there.

Or here. Indeed.

Oh. Sorry.

Richard, I'd like you to meet Jane.

'And Anne, of course.'

Come on, Jane.

'Sorry.'

Well, say hello, Jane.

Hi.

Hi. So you're Jane?

And you're Richard?

Yes. Yes, I am.

Well, I thought it might be an idea

if you'd take Jane for a short stroll, Richard.

Get to know each other without us two interfering.

'Absolutely.'

So what do you normally do with your days, then, Jane?

Stupid question.

No. I mean, you know, do-do you read?

Or, you know, do you watch videos? Or wh-what do you do?

I like, uh, to leave them-them empty.

Right. I-I'll take you back, then, shall I?

Why did you volunteer?

Uh... well, I've got a lot of time.

All the volunteers I get are either

desperately lonely or just, uh, sorry fuckers.

Yeah, well, much as I probably qualify as both

unfortunately I'm not a very patient, sorry, lonely fucker.

So, um, I'll just take you back, shall I?

I can do it myself.

So, uh, why didn't we do this before, then?

Oh, people usually feel more ridiculous

walking next to me.

Yeah? Why is that?

It implies friendship.

No, no, no. No, she really took a shine to you, Richard.

That's very unusual. It might even be a first.

- 'But, Mrs. Hatchard--' - Anne. Please.

Anne, uh, you-you know, without

wanting to be in the least bit rude

I mean, I honestly don't know if..

I-I think she, Jane, ne-needs somebody

who knows what they're doing, you know

someone who's trained--

Nonsense, Richard.

This is entirely the point of the program.

What Jane needs is to participate a bit more.

Do a few of the things that other people do.

Yeah, but I-I don't think I do the things other people do.

Richard, we can only help out two mornings a week.

That leaves Anne, well, she too needs

the occasional break to get on with her life.

Yeah, but I'm sure you'll find somebody else. Someone who's--

Would I be right in thinking

you're not here entirely

of your own volition?

* On my way *

* On my way *

* On my way *

* On my way *

* I would like to *

* Reach out my hand *

* I may see you *

* I may tell you to run *

* On my way on my way *

* You know what they say about the young *

* Well pick me up with golden hand *

* I may see you *

* I may tell you to run *

* On my way on my way *

* You know what they say about the young *

* Well I would like to hold my little hand *

* And we will run we will *

* And we will crawl *

* Send me on my way * * On my way*

* Send me on my way * * On my way*

* Send me on my way * * On my way*

* Send me on my way * * On my way*

* Send me on my way * * On my way*

* Send my on my way * * On my way *

* Send me on my way * * On my way **

'Yes!'

- 'Yes.' - 'Yes'

'Yes. Yes.'

'Oh! Yes!'

Yes! Yes!

'Yes. Yes.'

He's here, darling.

Okay, I've got the chair here.

- You alright? - Yeah.

Excuse me.

Right. Mm..

Just do it.

Okay. Alright. Okay. Legs first.

- Yeah. - Excuse me.

Alright.

Now. One, two, three.

Oh, sorry. Sorry.

There's obviously a knack to this.

Um, it's... okay.

I'm resilient.

Oh, how original.

Your mother said you'd like it.

My mother knows shit.

I used to paint.

Really?

Males nudes mostly.

- 'You surprise me.' - What do you paint?

Uh-uh, I-I don't. I don't, really.

I was told you did.

Yeah, uh, I-I-I did

but I don't, uh, I don't anymore.

Why stop?

I don't know. Lack of talent probably.

Uh. Lack of talent never stopped anyone.

So, uh, what do you think of this one, then?

I don't think he was religious.

'Who? Who, Christ?'

'The painter.'

Why?

Not a religious dick.

Well, when do you guess it was painted, then?

Wilton. 1789.

- Yeah. Near enough. - Exact.

Yeah. Exact enough.

So, Jane, uh, I can take it that you haven't

overly enjoyed your day so far.

- Whatever gave you that idea? - Oh, I don't know.

Maybe it was the sneering at everywhere

I've taken you that gave it away.

Without saying "Sneer"

it is difficult for me to sneer.

Yeah, well, you haven't exactly been enthusiastic, uh, Jane.

Mm. My body language perhaps.

Well, look, come on, you know. My, you know, my ideas are crap.

I mean, you know, if they were any crappier

they'd be very, very crap, and, you know, you've obviously

done them a thousand times before, so you choose.

What would you like to do?

- You can't go on that. - Why not?

Because... because you can't.

It's my afternoon.

Yeah, but they-they probably wouldn't even let us.

'They let the young children with parents.'

'I'm not your parent, so think of something else.'

- What kind of man are you? - A flimsy one.

So, you know, think-think of something else, or-or I will.

Take me home.

'Look, J-Jane, that's not very fair.'

Take me home.

Higher!

Higher!

'Jane?'

'Jane, what's wrong?'

'Jane?'

'Come on, let's go. Let's go.'

'Come on, clear the way there.'

'We-we were just running a little bit late'

you know, 'cause we didn't realize how big the museum was.

But it was, it was lovely, actually.

It was, um.. No, no. Honestly, it was..

- Mr. Hopkins? - Oh, I-I-I'll tell..

If I could just.. I-I'll call you later.

Just runnin' out of money. Okay.

Yeah. Yeah-yeah, bye. Yeah, how is she?

Well, by all accounts, she's been a remarkably lucky girl.

We've run all the usual tests, x-rays.

I think she's overstretched herself.

It can happen with the condition.

But she's a very resilient girl.

Yeah.

'Everyone says that.'

Look, I've tried to explain to your mum, to Catherine.

I mean, fuck it, I even tried to explain to you.

I'm just not..

...up to this kind of responsibility.

To any kind of responsibility.

No. It was not your fault.

Well, of course it was. I took you on it.

No.

I made my own decision.

Well, it must have been terrifying.

I mean, it was for me

and I didn't even..

And not a little embarrassing, as well.

Seeing you all..

Richard.

A-a long time ago..

...my body and me..

...separated.

Yeah?

Well, they fucking well nearly did it again.

I'll get the car.

'Yes, yes. It's a marvelous museum.'

'And Jane always thoroughly'

enjoys her trips there.

Don't you, darling?

Yes.

Well, Anne, I-I should really be going.

Oh, right. Yes, of course.

Again, I'm so sorry about her chair going over.

It must have been a terrible fright.

Yeah. Yeah, it was really. Uh..

Okay. Well, say good-bye, darling, and-and thank you.

Yeah. What are we doing next week?

Well, I-I'll try and think up something in the week.

Yeah.

Bungee jumping perhaps.

Yeah. Thanks. I-I'd probably have overlooked that, actually.

I got the address from your mother

and I had to go to Bristol, so I thought I'd see

if I could track you down.

I'm-I'm glad really.

You know, you can't just disappear, Richard.

I wasn't trying to disappear.

So, why didn't you give me your address

or at least a phone number?

You haven't given it to anyone.

I just wanted to settle in for a bit first.

Well, you've got some way to go.

Is that what you came all this way to say?

No, of course not.

I wanted to know you were okay.

I've been worried about you.

But then, maybe this is just what you needed.

So what are you doing in the barn?

Nothing.

- You're not painting again? - No.

Just, you know..

...fiddling round.

Look, in case you're wondering, Richard

I'm not with anyone else.

Okay? It was never about that.

No, no, I wasn't wondering.

And it was never about the money, either.

I just..

...thought that my being there, was making it worse

for both of us..

...but especially for you.

- I saw Michael the other night. - Yeah?

Has he ever landed on his feet this time.

Well, he was always prone to that.

I know, but..

You know, I'm sure you could always

stay with him for a while, Richard

if you wanted.

Now, why would I wanna do that?

I don't know. I just thought maybe--

Julie, I like living here.

Really.

I'm in no rush to get back.

So, what am I missing, some shepherdess?

No.

But I-I do like the people here.

Uh, what people?

I like the hills.

Yeah.

'Yeah!'

Yay!

Whoa!

* From the dark end of the street *

Faster!

Alright.

* To the bright side of the road *

Whoa! Whoa!

* We'll be lovers once again *

* On the bright side of the road *

* Let's enjoy it while we can *

* Let's enjoy it while we can *

* And help me sing my song *

* Help me sing my song *

* Little darlin' come along *

* On the bright side of the road **

Alright, then.

Oh, right.

Freestyle, please.

Here you go.

Better absorption.

What are you doing?

What are you fucking.. what are you fucking, hold on. Hold on.

What can they do, hmm?

Imprison me?

'Yes.'

What the fuckin'.. Jane!

J-Jane!

That's 16.53, please.

I'm sorry. How-how much did you say it was there?

Sixteen-fifty three.

I just, uh, get my change, sorry. Um..

So that's, uh, uh, I-I may have, uh, over ordered a bit

'so if, uh, maybe you could, um, uh..'

'Uh..'

Who was the girl in the photo?

Her name's Julie.

She used to be my girlfriend.

But not anymore?

No.

Not anymore.

Oh, sorry. You want, um..

Looks fucking terri..

...terrible.

Shouldn't you maybe try using that machine a bit more?

Oh, don't start playing mum on me for fuck's sake.

I'm not, I'm not, it's just, you know

I've never heard you use it even once.

Yeah.

Well, I'll have to soon enough.

Well, come on, then. Say something, anything.

Go on. I just wanna hear what it sounds like.

I mean, if you're not gonna eat..

Please.

'Fuck you, motherfucker.'

'Does-does it come with that kind of vocabulary?'

No.

Really? You amaze me.

No. I added it... and others.

Yeah. Like what others?

'Cunt.'

And, uh..

'Wanker.'

Well, they're very useful.

They'd be very useful on

you know, trips abroad

all sorts of things.

I think wanker loses the resonance

electronically.

Really? I think it works, actually.

Hmm.

No, I think that sounds fabulous.

I don't want it to sound fabulous.

Did you want to give this a miss?

I often dream about eating

in good restaurants.

Hmm. Somebody with clean dreams.

You haven't seen me eat yet.

It's a treat ahead.

Well, I mean, I'll tell you what, Jane, I mean..

Y-you know, if you want..

Uh, I-I mean, you know..

You're-you're under no obligation

but, um..

I-I-I mean, I'll gladly cook you a meal at my house

if-if-if, you know, if you wanna see what I eat.

Y-you know, only if you want.

I'd like that..

...very much.

'I was never really a painter.'

'It's always been a bit of a red herring though.'

'It's followed me around much more than I've followed it.'

'Sometimes we get held to silly things we say when we're young.'

'Then why say it in the first place?'

I suppose like anyone in their late teens

I was trying to find a way to..

- Rebel? - To get laid.

I thought a whiff of the artist

wouldn't hurt.

Did it work?

Y-y-yeah, a little bit, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. It probably did.

I mean, it was a lot easier then.

You didn't have to paint anything

uh, which was, uh, helpful.

You just had to wear a smock and a beret and be a twat.

And now?

Now..

...I think success is the only modern aphrodisiac there is.

Well, isn't it time

to do something else then?

'Where are we going?'

'I can see fuck-all.'

It's an installation.

'No. Oh, it's..'

No.

It's an airplane.

I'm inventing the airplane.

I think you may have been beaten.

Oh, thank you for breaking the news so gently.

So?

Why?

Well, uh, sometimes reasons are hard to come by.

Maybe it's easy for you. I don't know.

But one day in London

I realized that, I..

I didn't know anything about it.

Flight.

'And-and, you know, something so simple'

and I just didn't have a clue

and, uh, you know

it suddenly seemed important.

Yeah.

Gravity is my thing, too.

Anyway, what else am I supposed to do with this shit?

Can't seem to get rid of it.

Thought maybe I'd try reconstituting it instead

you know?

'Hmm. Why the gun?'

Ah, well, I once read about this artist, Paul Klee.

He used to wait by an airfield

in the World War I, right?

And, uh, you know, if an airplane crashed

he'd go out at night and he'd use it

and strip it down and make his canvases, right?

And, uh, well, I mean, I'm-you know

I'm doing it the other way around

and putting it back, and, uh, I don't know

the, uh, the gun seemed appropriate.

Will it fly?

I don't see any real reason why not.

I mean, you know, for fuck's sake

old, uh, Wilbur and Orville Wright

I mean, you know, it was just 120 feet against the wind.

'Twelve seconds is all it was.'

'I mean, that constitutes flight.'

'I mean, you know, saying that as it stands'

it's a bit unbalanced you know, this way

but I reckon, you know, counterbalance, whoops

'you know, that should solve it.'

I mean..

Yeah, I mean, it has to fly.

Otherwise, you know, how do you know you understand?

It's beautiful.

Thank you.

Um, Richard?

Yeah.

'I have a favor to ask.'

Of course. Go ahead.

Hmm.

I've prepared it.

Oh. R-Right.

Otherwise we'd be here all night.

Well, hit that play button.

'Okay.'

And, uh..

...brace yourself.

'I was not always like this, Richard.'

'My symptoms only became noticeable'

'when I was about 18.'

'It was then we moved back here.'

Until then, I was, to all intents and purposes

a normal young woman

'and not entirely unattractive either.'

'So much so that I had a boyfriend, Stephen Mills.'

A little nerdy perhaps

but in his favor, he was male.

'Once, on my 17th birthday'

'he asked to sleep with me.'

'Stupidly, I declined.'

'Every subsequent day I have regretted that cowardice.'

'Every newspaper I now read seems one big reference to sex.'

'In every book, film, television drama, soap'

comedy, or even game show, sex is the impetus.

'It is more important even than money.'

'Money is a means to an end.'

'Sex is the end.'

'Richard, the favor I ask of you'

'is to help me lose my virginity.'

'Relax.'

'I'm not asking you to do the awful deed.'

'No, there are places in London'

that can help, and you know London, Richard.

You can help.

'Other than a few early teething troubles'

'I think our interaction is as two adults.'

'You may not know it'

'but that makes you unique in my life'

'and I know in saying this'

I am risking that.

'But then, perhaps you will understand'

'how important this is to me.'

Say something.

Um..

Uh..

I'll take that as a yes.

Yeah, Jane, this is, um..

Well, it's a... bit strange.

'I know.'

I mean, um..

J-Jane, I-I know what you're saying.

I mean, I think, and I-I-I respect that

but, um..

I mean, are you sure you're not getting this

'a little bit out of perspective?'

'I mean, it's no great, uh'

'religious experience.'

I-I mean, you know, sure, people enjoy it

but they don't, you know, come away from it saying

"Oh, the meaning of life is--

Look, I can't do it on my own.

Yeah, well, for the most part, I manage.

No, I can't even do that anymore.

Jane, I mean, not wishing to put

too fine a point on it, but..

Do you know if you can--

- Do it? - Mm.

My illness does not affect

my sense of touch

or sensation at all.

Yeah.

Jane, this is, uh

it's..

'I don't know about this, really. I mean--'

Well..

Let's get realistic then.

Look, I know.

'Believe me.'

I'll never get the whole deal.

But that doesn't mean

I shouldn't get

as much as I can.

Now will you help

or will I have to find

someone else?

I can't do this, Jane.

'It's not a good idea.'

'For you, for me.'

I'm staying here.

I've got to do my thing.

'I'm sorry.'

Yeah.

Then take me home, please.

Jane, I'd like you to meet Becky.

Hello, Jane.

'I've been hearing all about you.'

Hope it's not all true.

Don't be rude, darling.

Please?

'That's okay, Anne.'

As I was just saying to Catherine

I look after a little boy with Down's syndrome

so I'm quite used to sudden mood swings.

But I love him to bits.

I think of him as my very special friend

which I'm sure you can be, Jane..

...if you let me.

Pleased with yourself are you, young lady?

'She really didn't deserve that, Jane. Really.'

You've embarrassed me. You've embarrassed Catherine.

I think you've even embarrassed yourself.

No. It was fun.

Sometimes I wonder whether you've ever given me

a moment's thought, Jane.

Ever. Once.

Hmm?

For one moment, have you ever considered

that it wasn't just your life?

This is definitely not how I wanted

to live my life either.

Mrs. Williams?

Mrs. Williams?

Hey, Mrs. Williams.

Where do you wanna..

Mrs. Williams? Mrs. Williams?

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit.

Oh, fuck.

Mrs. Williams?

You're alright. No, no.

Rape! Rape!

No, I wasn't trying to rape you

I was just, I wasn't trying to..

You're alright. You're alright.

'W-well, I do think it's blocked, yeah.'

Right. Okay.

Well, you can leave this with me.

I'll, I'll have a go.

Yeah.

Come on.

It'll never fly, you know.

Yeah. Well, we don't know that yet, pal.

Look, um..

I'm afraid, uh..

I'm gonna have to ask you to be out

by the end of the month.

Oh, look

I know, you know

I've been a bit, uh, a bit slow

with the rent, but, you know--

Yeah. No, no, no, no.

It's not the rent, alright?

Well-well, that didn't help

'but it's just that, uh'

'I'm gonna sell the place.'

Well, apparently there's a big market

for them nowadays, and, uh

Well, I thought a month would be fair.

'Right.'

Oh, if you could, um

clear it out a bit

I'd be grateful.

* Mi rival es mi propio corazon *

* Por traicionero *

* Traicionero *

* Yo no se *

* Como puedo aborrecerte *

* Si tanto te quiero *

* Te quiero *

* No me explico *

* Por que me atormenta *

* El rencor *

* Yo no se *

* Como puedo vivir *

* Sin tu amor *

* Mi rival *

* Es mi propio corazon *

* Por traicionero *

* Traicionero *

* Yo no se *

* Como puedo aborrecerte *

* Si tanto te quiero *

* Te quiero *

* No me explico *

* Por que me atormenta *

* El rencor *

* Yo no **

Bollocksing!

Fucking!

Wank-toss shite fuck!

Arsing, cunting fuck!

Fuck!

'Can I come in, darling?'

There's someone downstairs to see you.

Fuck it.

If you wanna go get shagged, then..

...that's between you and yourself.

'But understand this, Jane.'

If I do come with you

don't blame me for anything that might happen, okay?

'Anything.'

* How can I get your love *

* When you keep on snatchin' it back *

* Tell me tell me tell me *

* Tell me tell me girl *

* How can I get your love *

* When you keep on snatchin' it back *

* That's what I wanna know right now *

* How *

'What we're, um, looking for'

'is, um, a disabled agency'

'that can, uh'

'give Jane the chance'

'to, um, experience a sort of, um'

'complete, uh'

'adulthood, to become more adult.'

I'm not sure I understand

what you're asking me, Mr. Hopkins.

'No.'

Well, I-I'll try

'and be a little more direct. Um..'

'Look, um'

Jane here, uh, essentially, um

wants to, uh

to lose her virginity.

I think that's it.

'To, um, to, get..'

Fucked.

I think, yeah, that about sums it up, uh..

I'm sorry, dear.

I'm afraid we can't.

No.

Absolutely, absolutely.

We do this all the time.

We just put like with like, and, uh

let it run its course.

Right. Jane?

Well-well, great.

We'll, um, we'll--

'We'll let you know. Thanks very much, pal.'

'Jane?'

Hi. Do you wanna dance?

Sorry.

What are you doing?

Get me out of here!

I just want to be normal.

With all due respect, Jane, you're not. Sorry.

Yeah, but my fantasies are.

They don't have no legs

and three heads, funnily enough.

Well, then I don't see what the difficulty is

when we're walking around all the weird and wonderful.

I mean, you, if all you want is-is to be laid by someone

with the requisite number of limbs in all the right places

then there's no problem.

I don't know why we're making a mountain of it.

I mean, look where we are. It's easy.

'I mean, that's the truth, Jane.'

'For 50 quid, it could all be over in ten minutes.'

Cherry picked, ambition realized.

What's the problem?

'Okay, then, Richard.'

Could you fantasize about her?

Well, you know, I try to be a little more romantic.

- But I'm sure-- - Yeah, exactly.

So do I.

And it's not him I visualize.

I wanted something much more.

Something special.

Richard Gere.

Ah, well, then we have a problem, Jane

because this is not "Pretty Woman"

and I'm sorry about that, but that's the way it is.

And, Jane, remember, she was the prostitute.

What?

Not in "American Gigolo."

Uh, well, if it's a gigolo you're after

then, yes, clearly we are in the wrong place.

'There.'

'But how do you know?'

'That woman could be his mother.'

'That's our man.'

Well, how can you tell?

Feminine intuition.

He's probably just a businessman.

Well, go on then.

I can't just walk up to him. He could be anybody.

'Another mother perhaps?'

'Now ask.'

'Yeah and say what exactly?'

How much?

Well, Jane, you can't afford him.

Ask.

Hi. Er, Richard.

Hi.

Uh, look, um

uh, I don't quite know how to, uh, put this.

Um, but, uh, I've been following you

and I think I know what it is you do.

And, uh, I, uh..

...I need to know how much you are

um, because I may be, uh..

...uh, interested in, um..

...propositioning you.

I don't know who you are..

...but I don't do gay.

No, no. It's not for me.

It's, um, for my friend over there.

'£2,000!'

Just to get laid?

No, Jane. You get laid by Adonis himself.

Fuck.

I've got £873.

Yeah. Which is 873 more than me.

Okay, then. You'll have to do it then, Richard.

Oh, no.

Yes! It's as simple as that.

You'll have to do it.

Jane, I can't. You have to understand that.

I can't do it.

Why not?

Because, uh..

Because I'm a cripple?

No, it's not because you're a cripple.

As cripples go, believe me, Jane

you're really quite fanciable.

Hmm.

Then why?

Because..

Because..

Because I am.

I'm a cripple.

Perfect.

What?

You really need to do this, don't you?

'Yes!'

And you really need me to make it happen?

There is no one else.

'Then I'll make it happen.'

You'll do it?!

No.

But I will rob that bank.

'No way. Are you serious?'

'Oh, yes, fucking way I am.'

But I'm just trying to get laid.

And I'm gonna make it happen.

I mean, do you really think, Jane

that if I, Richard, got my car

'drove to the other side of the country'

'waited down some quiet country lane for somebody to walk by'

nobody around, took a few precautions

and then suddenly killed them

'for no apparent reason and came back, I mean'

'do you really think that they'd find me, Richard, eh?'

No.

The world order may rely on myths like that

but not theory.

Theory allows us all to do it once.

We just don't know it.

This is lunacy.

Alright, then, Jane. Tell me what you see now.

Right now, what do you see?

A nutter on a plane.

'No, Jane. Look. No plane here.'

Can't you see it's a dodo?

It'll never fly. It was never gonna fly.

Because you can't reinvent something

by adapting what's gone before.

Now what we need is a..

...is a radical fucking departure.

Richard, please.

I need to know..

...this is a joke.

Yes?

'Long, unfunny..'

...but a joke.

Yeah?

No, Jane, I'm doing this.

Finally something.

It's perfect.

'In fact, all we need to know now'

is are you really doing yours?

No. Just, uh, making a withdrawal.

Hello. Good morning.

Alright! Alright!

Alright, this is a holdup!

Nobody fucking move!

Alright! Alright, this is a holdup.

That's good.

That's crap.

What will you do

when I die?

Darling, when I said that, I-I was--

I know, but I'd

still like to know.

Who knows? Who knows?

Anyway, the way you carry on

who's to say I still don't die first?

Ladbrokes.

'What was it, darling?'

You said it was nothing he did, so why?

You liked him. I know you did.

'Nobody's perfect, darling.'

'Not you, not me, not anybody.'

Sometimes we do things we don't necessarily understand.

I think you should let that go

because otherwise you end up with no one.

'I mean, whatever it was, can it be that bad?'

Alright, alright, nobody move. This is a fucking holdup!

Nobody move. Don't do anything stupid.

Just hand the money over!

That's right.

Thank you.

Just so as you know, Richard.

I think you're a complete dickhead.

I can live with that.

* Put a rack on Mr. Maxie *

* Don't you know you'll never win *

* You got your family running around *

* Trying to stop you from going down *

* It's you *

* They're talking to *

* It's you *

* They're talking to *

* Yes, it's you *

* They're talking to *

* It's you *

* They're talking to *

* Yes it's you you you *

* They're talking to *

* It's you *

* They're talking to *

Hi, Jane.

I'm Mary, Camden Social Services.

I think it was Catherine I spoke to.

- 'Hello.' - Hi.

- 'Hello?' - 'Uh, yes, uh, hello.'

- 'Uh, It's, Mr. Hopkins again.' - 'Hi.'

'Yes.'

'Just ringing to confirm'

'it will be at 2:30 tomorrow.'

'And you'll have the money?'

'Yes, I'm, I'm just sorting that out now.'

'Are you going to tell me'

'why that bank?'

Why does it have to be that bank?

Jane, I'm helping you with yours, okay?

But leave me to mine.

I'm still not sure you shouldn't start

on old ladies with handbags first.

You know, work your way up like everyone else.

Okay, Jane, I'll see you in the morning.

- Yeah. Thank you. - Okay.

Night-night. Thanks very much.

Big day tomorrow then?

Yup, big day.

Best get in

some beauty sleep.

Best had, yeah.

Sleep well, then, Jane.

- Richard? - Yeah?

Mm.

My mum always

kisses me goodnight.

See you in the morning.

- You look beautiful. - Thank you.

Can I come in now?

Yes, but you mustn't laugh.

You-you look fabulous.

Don't you mean handsome?

No, I, I mean fabulous honestly, and-and the dress.

Yeah. It comes off easily.

Well, I'll leave you now, Jane.

There's nothing else you need.

- No? - 'No.'

And-and thank you, Mary.

It's okay.

So..

So..

You know, I'm very nervous Richard.

Yeah, the thing is, though

I don't know who for.

I can still call him off, Jane.

No.

No, I-I would never forgive myself.

Unless we both

drive home

together now.

It's too late for that.

No, it's not.

We've done nothing yet.

Jane, I am doing this. I have to.

'This may or may not'

be the right time to say this..

Please, not now.

'...but I've pressed the play button.'

Well, then turn it off. Just please, turn it off.

'Once started cannot be stopped.'

'Oh, bollocks.'

I have been wondering why it is

that all rich and famous men

'however ugly they may be, '

'seem capable of finding love only with gorgeous women'

or that the more intelligent the man

the shallower his criteria in women.

Is it, "A," because men don't give a fuck for the mind

'and care only about spending life'

'with gorgeous bodies'

'in which case, I'm fucked'

'or "B," because there is some'

'as yet unidentified evolutionary quirk'

so that beautiful female minds

are only to be found stuck on beautiful female bodies

in which case, I'm fucked

'or "C," none of the above?'

'If "C" then, theoretically at least'

you, Richard, could take his place.

Oh no, not again.

It's now or never, boyo.

Last chance saloon.

'Oh no, no, no, no, no..'

Why is it I knew this was coming?

Jane, Jane, I can't.

'Jane, I-I just, I..'

It's okay. I know.

Look, we can't even pay for the fucking room!

'Yes, it's okay.'

I know.

We're just being silly.

Relieve some tension.

Anyway, um, apparently, there's, uh..

...no such thing as, uh..

...male sexual altruism.

'Yeah.'

And... half the women of the world

commit it most nights.

Oh, shit.

Oh, fuck.

Um, a last rethink maybe?

No, not for me.

I wish it was at night.

These things are easier at night.

Banks are closed at night.

Two reasons then.

Alright, I'm going now, Jane.

'Richard?'

Yeah?

Good luck.

Right. So you know about her, right?

Mm-hm.

And, uh, you be careful.

Of course.

And wear something, right?

Alright. Here's 500.

You'll get the rest after.

Well, I mean, she's not going anywhere, is she?

Why not you?

Hi.

Um, hi.

* My angel *

* Clipped wings I know *

* Wanders in darkness *

* On grimy ground *

Yeah, um... can we, uh..

...do this, um, slowly?

Sure thing.

As slow as you want, darling.

* To sell out *

* A swamp *

* In it hands stretched out *

* To catch a passing dime *

* Donations to the rich *

* Widened pavements for the poor *

* Somewhere else to lie *

* But my friend the carriage door *

* Stands slightly ajar *

* And I know clipped wings make uneasy flight *

* But we've gotta reach *

* A place *

* Where the feast never ends *

* A morn when the music celebrates *

* And a time when darkness belongs *

* To night skies and nothing else *

* No *

* Nothing else *

* No *

* Tomorrow my spirit's seen *

* Fears today my mind *

* Soul aches **

Richard, hi.

I nearly didn't recognize you. Are you here to see Julie?

Does she know you're here?

Hey, wait there. I'll go get her for you.

Richard?

No. No, no, no!

Right!

No, no, no.

Jane! Jane!

Jane, I didn't do it!

Jane! Jane, I didn't do it!

I didn't do it! I didn't do..

I haven't done anything yet.

I've just undressed her, that's all.

I swear!

You get out.

Okay. Okay. I'm going.

Listen, I didn't wanna to do this in the first place.

- I knew it would be fucking-- - You just get out!

Okay, okay! I'm going! Shit.

Jane, Jane, it's alright.

It's alright, Jane. He's gone.

He's gone, he's gone, Jane. He's gone, Jane.

Jane, it's alright.

It's alright. He's gone now.

He's gone now. He's gone now, Jane.

It's alright. It's okay. And I didn't do it, Jane.

It's alright.

He's gone now. He's gone.

It's alright. It's alright.

Okay, it's okay, it's alright.

'I.. Oh, fuck.'

Oh, fuck, what?

Just... oh, fuck.

How do you feel?

Like... a virgin.

'Richard..'

...this afternoon..

Yeah, maybe we should just let it go, mate, eh?

It's all in the past.

'No.'

My voice.

It... went.

Well, that's probably..

...just the trauma of it all, you know.

That's all, really.

Let's go... home.

Okay.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Please not now.

'Who is it?'

- What? - Go home. Just go home.

- Richard! - Look, I've had a shitty day.

With your ideal lifetime, so just go home.

- Get off! Get off! - Will you just go home, Julie?

I have just slept all night in the car.

I need to talk to you.

Yeah, and I need not to listen.

- Will you just go home? - No.

I have to talk to you.

Look, something is very wrong here, Richard. Badly wrong.

Alright. Just-just fuck this!

'Richard!'

What the fuck were you doing in there?

Look, I thought you were getting better.

I had to do a lot of covering. You can't just..

'Okay, Jane, I'd like you to meet Julie.'

'Julie, was my girlfriend, partner, uh, common law wife.'

Whatever you like to call it. Julie, this is, Jane.

Jane is my girlfriend et cetera

and yes, we have slept together.

We definitely slept.

'Effective.'

Yeah, I shouldn't have used you like that, Jane.

I know. I'm sorry.

It's alright.

I really rather enjoyed it.

I felt I grew into the part

quite well, hmm?

Richard? Richard?

Richard!

This 24 hours definitely needs acing.

What?

'It has to be now, Jane.'

'Now..'

...is perfect.

What?

It has to be now, Jane!

Oh, but..

Oh, God.

What are you doing?

I have to get one of these to balance it up.

But you said it wouldn't fly!

Yeah, I said a lot of things, Jane.

But we won't know until we try.

You can't keep doing this to yourself, Richard.

Taking flight has more than one meaning.

'Okay.'

'Then I have to come on the plane, too.'

Jane, I'm in a hurry, so please be quiet.

Haven't I got you into enough trouble already?

- No. - Almost more?

You haven't got me in anything.

Now, I have to come on this aeroplane.

Jane, you are not coming on the plane!

Now, please, I am concentrating.

- Not with the-- - What?

Please! Listen to me.

Just once. Listen to me.

Okay, whatever you wanna say, say it.

Just say it quickly. I'm in a hurry.

No, I can't quickly.

Oh, fuck it all!

Okay, Okay.

Take as long as you want.

In your own time.

I have to come with you..

'...on the plane.'

Yep, I think we've established that, Jane.

Why is what we're hunting for now.

- Because.. - Because, what?

Because, um..

...stories have to be round.

Because stories have to be round?

'Yes.'

'Stories have to be long, Jane.'

That's what stories have to be.

And I don't know if I've neglected

to mention it but I can't fly.

I don't know the first fucking thing.

And?

And it'll probably end up

in a mangled heap over there.

That's what "and".

And I might end up in a wheelchair, hmm? Yes?

Sometimes reasons are harder

to come by, remember?

But I have to be..

...on that plane.

I do.

Otherwise, you'll regret your cowardice

every subsequent day, yes?

No.

Yours.

What a day.

But, um, you have to ask me, Richard.

I have to be asked.

How much do you weigh?

Ask properly.

Jane, would you like to come with me on my plane?

Our plane.

Jane, would you like to come with me, please..

...on our plane?

46 kilos. Dead weight.

- Yeah, near enough. - Exact.

Exact enough.

Richard?

Can we just be quiet for a bit?

You do know..

...I'm going..

...to die soon..

...don't you?

Yeah.

Hmm.

Don't feel ready.

I'm only 25.

But I know I'd feel

a lot more ready

if you'd..

...get your act..

...together fast.

You have a future, matey.

Either take it

...or swap bodies with me, huh?

Oh, Jane.

Who the fuck do I think I am?

Hmm.

Sort of, Ronnie Biggs

meets Orville Wright.

And there I was

thinking you were my angel.

Actually, I'm much happier

this way around.

So what are we gonna do then?

I'll see you off..

...if you see me off.

So there we are.

Our great adventure pretty much over.

But where does it guide us?

For my part, I think I do now accept

that love and friendship

should really count for more than just sex.

But it's a bloody close call.

Indeed.

Should you never return to painting

or even robbing banks

there is another much older profession

I can think of that I'm sure would welcome your talents.

Whatever, you have to carry on now, Richard.

And I don't.

And if our time together changes anything

let it be that from now on

you'll think a little less

and just get the fuck on with it.

Because, really, Richard

we can only live the most complete life

available to us.

And that, I, at least have now done.

So there..

Consider yourself released.

And always remember

though you may not yet be soaring

high above the ground

neither are you lying six feet beneath it.

And from my perspective

that's a hell of a lot to be going for anyone.

I love you.

Jane.

* When the road gets dark *

* And you can no longer see *

* Just let my love throw a spark *

* And have a little faith in me *

* And when the tears you cry *

* Are all you can believe *

* Just give these loving arms a try baby *

* And have a little faith in me *

* And have a little faith in me *

* And have a little faith in me *

* And have a little faith in me *

* And have a little faith in me *

* And when your secret heart *

* Cannot speak so easily *

* Come here darling from a whisper start *

* To have a little faith in me *

* And when your backs against the wall *

* Just turn around and you you will see *

* I will catch you *

* I will catch your fall baby *

* Just have a little faith in me *

* Have a little faith in me *

* Have a little faith in me *

* Have a little faith in me *

* Have a little faith in me *

* Well I've been loving you for such a long time girl *

* Expecting nothing in return *

* Just for you to have a little faith in me *

* I said hey *

* All you gotta do for me girl *

* Is have a little bit of faith in me *

* I said I said **

* Hey **