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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:23,866 --> 00:00:27,066 [bell ringing] 2 00:00:43,900 --> 00:00:45,700 ♪ I need a breakthrough 3 00:00:47,100 --> 00:00:49,966 ♪ I need some answers 4 00:00:50,900 --> 00:00:52,866 ♪ I need some breakfast 5 00:00:54,633 --> 00:00:57,466 ♪ I need some chances 6 00:00:58,866 --> 00:01:00,233 ♪ I hate you 7 00:01:01,633 --> 00:01:05,000 ♪ Don't really hate you 8 00:01:05,633 --> 00:01:07,400 ♪ And I castrate you 9 00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:12,100 ♪ For heaven's sake 10 00:01:12,533 --> 00:01:14,200 ♪ You know 11 00:01:15,066 --> 00:01:19,766 ♪ For we see the red sky 12 00:01:22,233 --> 00:01:25,200 ♪ Face my longest night 13 00:01:29,466 --> 00:01:33,600 ♪ Glory on my left side 14 00:01:36,500 --> 00:01:39,800 ♪ And sensation on my right 15 00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:43,266 ♪ I just want you 16 00:01:44,233 --> 00:01:45,366 ♪ You 17 00:01:46,133 --> 00:01:47,333 ♪ You 18 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:51,700 ♪ I get the feeling 19 00:02:00,233 --> 00:02:03,766 - [Voiceover] This is Brady, lucky old bastard that he is. 20 00:02:04,100 --> 00:02:06,066 [moaning] 21 00:02:07,300 --> 00:02:10,733 As you can see, little bit of a devil with the ladies, 22 00:02:11,466 --> 00:02:14,333 and sometimes, like this moment here, in fact, 23 00:02:14,766 --> 00:02:18,666 I really, really hate the bastard. 24 00:02:18,866 --> 00:02:20,766 - Morning, baby. Did you sleep okay? 25 00:02:21,833 --> 00:02:23,266 - Fine, thanks. 26 00:02:24,133 --> 00:02:25,900 - You were fantastic last night. 27 00:02:27,033 --> 00:02:28,400 - Oh, thank you. 28 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:32,800 I'm Brady, by the way. 29 00:02:34,066 --> 00:02:36,900 [happy, carefree music] 30 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:46,100 - [Voiceover] This is Fred. 31 00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:48,066 She shares a house with Brady. 32 00:02:53,300 --> 00:02:56,000 Fred's a very cool girl, no messing. 33 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:57,366 She doesn't eat salads. 34 00:02:57,366 --> 00:02:58,533 She drinks pints. 35 00:02:58,533 --> 00:03:00,366 She swears a lot. 36 00:03:03,533 --> 00:03:05,800 Sort of a good-looking bloke. 37 00:03:07,066 --> 00:03:08,366 - [laughs] You silly cunt. 38 00:03:08,366 --> 00:03:09,700 - [Voiceover] Yep, even C word. 39 00:03:09,700 --> 00:03:11,466 - Thought you'd like a big 'un in your hand. 40 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:14,033 - Well even I've got a bigger dick than you. 41 00:03:14,266 --> 00:03:15,800 See you later. 42 00:03:16,433 --> 00:03:18,633 - [Voiceover] She's always had a bit of a thing for the sea, 43 00:03:18,633 --> 00:03:19,933 so she's often around the world. 44 00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:21,700 Pretty soon is leaving time. 45 00:03:21,700 --> 00:03:24,500 I'll miss her. Be like losing a little brother. 46 00:03:30,100 --> 00:03:32,200 [flute music] 47 00:03:34,666 --> 00:03:36,866 Now this is Angus. 48 00:03:39,066 --> 00:03:40,366 [groans] 49 00:03:41,833 --> 00:03:43,933 You've probably guessed: he's a student. 50 00:03:46,666 --> 00:03:48,000 - Excuse me. 51 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:49,633 - [Luke] All that's missing is the traffic cone. 52 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:53,766 He also shares a house with Brady, 53 00:03:53,866 --> 00:03:54,666 [groans] 54 00:03:54,666 --> 00:03:55,800 and we became mates. 55 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:57,000 [groans] 56 00:03:57,433 --> 00:03:59,800 - God, please, stop the pain. 57 00:04:02,666 --> 00:04:05,400 Stop it, and I swear I'll never drink again. 58 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:10,333 Here, you. 59 00:04:11,333 --> 00:04:13,866 There, sorry, got it in your eye. 60 00:04:21,233 --> 00:04:25,233 He truly is a poor excuse for a human being, 61 00:04:28,033 --> 00:04:29,500 but he's a bloody good laugh. 62 00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:30,500 [burps] 63 00:04:36,700 --> 00:04:38,566 [snoring] 64 00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:56,433 - Oh, mystical and sacred ball of vision, 65 00:04:56,433 --> 00:04:57,666 show me. 66 00:04:57,866 --> 00:05:00,266 Show me the future. 67 00:05:00,266 --> 00:05:02,000 - [Voiceover] I know what you're thinking. 68 00:05:02,166 --> 00:05:04,500 Ariel really believes all that bollocks. 69 00:05:04,500 --> 00:05:07,233 - Let I see, what shall be. 70 00:05:07,866 --> 00:05:09,300 - [Voiceover] She and Fred are best friends. 71 00:05:09,300 --> 00:05:10,966 She likes to think that she's a psychic. 72 00:05:11,900 --> 00:05:13,800 - Well show me something. 73 00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:17,366 Show me bloody anything, you cheap, fake piece of crap. 74 00:05:18,533 --> 00:05:19,300 [screams] 75 00:05:19,300 --> 00:05:20,666 - Whoa, whoa, wait. 76 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:23,066 - When will I have some power? 77 00:05:23,066 --> 00:05:24,966 - You will when you're meant to. 78 00:05:24,966 --> 00:05:26,833 You've got to stick with it. 79 00:05:26,833 --> 00:05:28,866 - Can you be any more specific? 80 00:05:28,866 --> 00:05:32,000 - Feel the energy, 81 00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:34,666 and believe. 82 00:05:36,633 --> 00:05:38,900 - Thanks, Aury. 83 00:05:39,700 --> 00:05:40,366 Now-- 84 00:05:40,366 --> 00:05:41,200 - Yes, Ariel? 85 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:43,166 - Can you turn around? 86 00:05:43,166 --> 00:05:45,166 I need to get changed. 87 00:05:45,166 --> 00:05:46,933 - I know that. 88 00:05:52,133 --> 00:05:54,466 ♪ How 89 00:05:56,066 --> 00:06:00,433 ♪ Do you get by? 90 00:06:00,933 --> 00:06:05,233 - [Voiceover] Yeah, that sad, lonely, 91 00:06:05,233 --> 00:06:06,300 bad-breath motherfucker is me. 92 00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:09,366 Hey, don't feel sorry for me, 93 00:06:09,366 --> 00:06:10,500 not just yet. 94 00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:12,400 There is so much more to come. 95 00:06:14,933 --> 00:06:17,633 I've been paid to write a horror novel, 96 00:06:17,633 --> 00:06:20,566 but I literally lost the plot. 97 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:23,200 To think of a genius ending that would make 98 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:25,700 Clive Barker literally shit his pants, 99 00:06:25,700 --> 00:06:27,366 I can't stop thinking about my ex. 100 00:06:29,133 --> 00:06:31,400 Yeah, that's her, Jennifer. 101 00:06:31,900 --> 00:06:33,700 I was totally in love with her. 102 00:06:33,700 --> 00:06:36,100 I really should change my desktop picture. 103 00:06:37,366 --> 00:06:38,566 - Morning, love. 104 00:06:39,100 --> 00:06:40,100 You fancy a cuppa? 105 00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:42,000 - No, thanks. 106 00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:44,633 - How's the book going? 107 00:06:44,633 --> 00:06:45,566 - It's not. 108 00:06:45,566 --> 00:06:47,766 I've been kind of distracted. 109 00:06:47,766 --> 00:06:49,133 - Aw. 110 00:06:49,133 --> 00:06:50,033 You'll find someone else. 111 00:06:50,033 --> 00:06:51,366 - Oh please don't say that. 112 00:06:51,366 --> 00:06:52,400 I'll find someone else. 113 00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:53,533 It wasn't meant to be. 114 00:06:53,533 --> 00:06:54,500 There's plenty more fish in the sea. 115 00:06:54,500 --> 00:06:56,033 I'll find someone better. 116 00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:57,766 - I know you think your life is over, 117 00:06:57,766 --> 00:06:59,100 but you're wrong. 118 00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:02,433 When your father died, I was just the same. 119 00:07:02,433 --> 00:07:05,200 - Well, that's a bit different, mum. 120 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:07,466 - I suppose, but... 121 00:07:07,466 --> 00:07:10,200 I thought I'd never meet anyone else, 122 00:07:10,366 --> 00:07:12,300 never have sex ever again. 123 00:07:13,533 --> 00:07:15,500 Your father was my first. 124 00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:17,900 I never knew anything different, 125 00:07:17,900 --> 00:07:19,233 but after he died, 126 00:07:19,233 --> 00:07:20,366 I tried all sorts. 127 00:07:20,366 --> 00:07:21,466 - Mum. 128 00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:23,833 - Big ones, 129 00:07:23,833 --> 00:07:26,333 small ones, 130 00:07:26,333 --> 00:07:28,266 crooked ones, 131 00:07:28,266 --> 00:07:29,800 oral, anal-- 132 00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:31,166 - Jesus, Mom! 133 00:07:31,166 --> 00:07:32,866 - Oh come on, we're both adult. 134 00:07:32,866 --> 00:07:35,566 - Never speak to me about that stuff again, please. 135 00:07:35,566 --> 00:07:36,966 I've got to get on with some work. 136 00:07:36,966 --> 00:07:38,600 - All I'm saying is go out there. 137 00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:40,533 Have some fun, 138 00:07:40,533 --> 00:07:42,466 and always give oral. 139 00:07:45,900 --> 00:07:48,266 Maybe that's why Jennifer left you. 140 00:07:48,266 --> 00:07:49,766 - [Luke] Shut up! 141 00:07:50,133 --> 00:07:52,233 [fast dance music] 142 00:07:58,900 --> 00:08:02,266 [singing in foreign language] 143 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:21,333 - So what do you think? 144 00:08:21,333 --> 00:08:22,833 For movies and X Factor? 145 00:08:23,533 --> 00:08:25,300 I've been thinking about us now, 146 00:08:25,300 --> 00:08:27,200 being a new couple and stuff. 147 00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:29,800 - I wouldn't really call us a couple. 148 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,533 - I just think since it's Valentine's Day, 149 00:08:31,533 --> 00:08:33,200 we should go to see your parents, you know, 150 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:34,400 to introduce me. 151 00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:36,200 - It's Valentine's Day? 152 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:37,700 Today? 153 00:08:37,700 --> 00:08:39,633 - And to think, every year, 154 00:08:39,633 --> 00:08:42,333 our anniversary will be on Valentine's Day. 155 00:08:42,333 --> 00:08:44,266 - I have to go. 156 00:08:44,866 --> 00:08:46,033 - Now? 157 00:08:46,533 --> 00:08:47,933 - Right now. 158 00:08:48,033 --> 00:08:49,500 - Are you sure? 159 00:08:50,633 --> 00:08:52,933 [dramatic music] 160 00:09:07,566 --> 00:09:09,700 - Move it. Move it. 161 00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:12,266 Move it. [groans] 162 00:09:12,666 --> 00:09:14,233 Move it. 163 00:09:15,533 --> 00:09:17,000 I'll take this one. 164 00:09:17,166 --> 00:09:18,700 - Watch the fucking dish. 165 00:09:18,700 --> 00:09:20,633 - [Angus] Watch my fucking toes. 166 00:09:21,900 --> 00:09:23,466 Eat sandal. 167 00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:28,000 [groans] 168 00:09:44,033 --> 00:09:45,933 ♪ I will get shoes on 169 00:09:46,300 --> 00:09:48,566 ♪ Hairy mounts 170 00:09:49,433 --> 00:09:54,366 ♪ Lift me up and down like I got something more ♪ 171 00:09:55,833 --> 00:09:57,166 - Will you be mine today? 172 00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:01,200 Be good to daddy. 173 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:04,400 ♪ She had a little joke 174 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:07,600 ♪ Now it seems all fine 175 00:10:08,533 --> 00:10:11,600 ♪ Now we'll never be all free 176 00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:14,700 ♪ Rather be a goddamned freak 177 00:10:14,700 --> 00:10:16,933 ♪ Rather be a freak and 178 00:10:16,933 --> 00:10:19,400 ♪ Feel like you 179 00:10:20,966 --> 00:10:24,200 ♪ I'd rather, rather be a freak 180 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:27,466 ♪ Rather be a goddamned freak 181 00:10:27,466 --> 00:10:29,666 ♪ Rather be a freak and 182 00:10:29,666 --> 00:10:32,066 ♪ Feel like you 183 00:10:35,133 --> 00:10:36,566 [gulps] 184 00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:40,900 [sighs] 185 00:10:41,733 --> 00:10:43,333 [mumbles] 186 00:10:46,066 --> 00:10:47,200 ♪ Rather be a freak 187 00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:48,900 ♪ Than be like you 188 00:11:16,500 --> 00:11:18,000 - What the fuck am I thinking? 189 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:19,266 - I knew it. 190 00:11:19,266 --> 00:11:20,033 - What? 191 00:11:20,033 --> 00:11:21,266 - You little devil. 192 00:11:21,266 --> 00:11:24,066 Finally going to 'fess up about your lust? 193 00:11:24,066 --> 00:11:25,433 - Bad idea? 194 00:11:25,433 --> 00:11:26,900 - Have a little fling before shipping off 195 00:11:26,900 --> 00:11:28,600 like some horny soldier. 196 00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:29,866 What's wrong with that? 197 00:11:29,866 --> 00:11:31,900 - What if I want more than a fling? 198 00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:33,200 - Have you tried it on before? 199 00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:34,533 - No, that would be weird. 200 00:11:34,533 --> 00:11:36,266 We grew up together. 201 00:11:36,266 --> 00:11:38,433 He's like my brother, kind of. 202 00:11:38,433 --> 00:11:41,000 - Trust in the stars, I did. 203 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,033 That's how I found my soulmate. 204 00:11:43,033 --> 00:11:45,200 - Who lives thousands of miles away. 205 00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:48,700 - Thousands of miles means nothing when you have love. 206 00:11:48,700 --> 00:11:50,600 Skype. 207 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:54,000 - Late again? 208 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:56,000 - Lateness is a perception that time is linear 209 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:59,866 and the space-time continuum cannot be deconstructed. 210 00:12:06,466 --> 00:12:08,300 What is that fishy smell? 211 00:12:08,300 --> 00:12:10,333 Have you converted her? 212 00:12:11,166 --> 00:12:12,600 Lays of people. 213 00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:13,800 - Where's Brady? 214 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:14,966 - [Angus] Take a guess. 215 00:12:14,966 --> 00:12:17,366 - Fucking dick. 216 00:12:17,933 --> 00:12:19,300 - Penis. 217 00:12:19,433 --> 00:12:20,866 That's all men are, 218 00:12:20,933 --> 00:12:24,866 just walking, fucking penii. 219 00:12:24,933 --> 00:12:28,566 Just a penis with two balls for legs. 220 00:12:32,466 --> 00:12:35,433 [lively music] 221 00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:45,600 [typing] 222 00:12:53,133 --> 00:12:54,266 - Too nice. 223 00:12:58,366 --> 00:13:00,333 [typing] 224 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:11,466 Too gay. 225 00:13:14,700 --> 00:13:17,133 [typing] 226 00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:24,700 - Now that's not bad, but... 227 00:13:26,633 --> 00:13:27,933 - Luke. 228 00:13:27,933 --> 00:13:29,300 - I'm busy, 229 00:13:29,300 --> 00:13:31,833 and I don't need to hear any more of your advice. 230 00:13:31,833 --> 00:13:33,533 - You know, it's Valentine's Day. 231 00:13:33,533 --> 00:13:36,333 I was wondering, why don't you give Jennifer a call? 232 00:13:36,333 --> 00:13:37,900 Take her out to dinner or something. 233 00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:41,100 - It's over, mum. She dumped me. 234 00:13:41,100 --> 00:13:44,600 - Maybe it's not you. 235 00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:46,200 I was at a party the other night, 236 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:48,133 and there was this woman there. 237 00:13:48,133 --> 00:13:50,400 You know, I've never had any interest in women before, 238 00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:51,933 but I really felt quite-- 239 00:13:51,933 --> 00:13:54,800 - Get out. 240 00:13:55,866 --> 00:13:58,333 - Oh, don't be such a prude. 241 00:13:58,333 --> 00:14:00,466 Must get it from your father. 242 00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:03,700 [bright jazzy music] 243 00:14:05,833 --> 00:14:07,166 [door slams] 244 00:14:08,866 --> 00:14:10,700 [pants] 245 00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:26,100 - Oh, decided to come home, did we? 246 00:14:26,100 --> 00:14:27,266 - Make me some coffee? 247 00:14:27,266 --> 00:14:29,366 - Make it yourself, you walking penis. 248 00:14:29,366 --> 00:14:30,666 - [Brady] What's wrong with you? 249 00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:34,766 - Hey, happy Valentine's day. 250 00:14:34,766 --> 00:14:35,866 - Hello. See you later, Ariel. 251 00:14:35,866 --> 00:14:37,533 Should go get some fresh air. 252 00:14:37,733 --> 00:14:39,900 Something smells rotten in here. 253 00:14:40,633 --> 00:14:42,566 - What is wrong with you two? 254 00:14:42,566 --> 00:14:44,733 - It couldn't have anything to do with your brains 255 00:14:44,733 --> 00:14:47,500 being located in your scrotum. 256 00:14:47,500 --> 00:14:49,166 Fred's not in a good mood. 257 00:14:49,166 --> 00:14:52,133 - My God, you really are a phenomenon. 258 00:14:52,133 --> 00:14:54,200 Did she get any cards? 259 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:57,333 - Not the one she wanted. 260 00:15:00,866 --> 00:15:04,133 Your post is on the table, Cassanova. 261 00:15:05,900 --> 00:15:08,400 [folksy rock music] 262 00:15:20,066 --> 00:15:21,933 [telephone ringing] 263 00:15:21,933 --> 00:15:23,966 - Good morning, Smith and Stars, Jeremy speaking. 264 00:15:23,966 --> 00:15:24,866 How can I help you? 265 00:15:24,866 --> 00:15:26,866 - [Brady] Jeri? It's Brady. 266 00:15:26,866 --> 00:15:30,066 - It is Jeremy. Jer-eh-mee. 267 00:15:30,066 --> 00:15:31,800 Why have you not called in sick again? 268 00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:32,933 - Is the boss man there? 269 00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:34,000 - [Jeremy] No, he's in a meeting. 270 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:35,966 Probably about sacking your ass. 271 00:15:35,966 --> 00:15:37,566 What is it this time, chlamydia? 272 00:15:37,566 --> 00:15:39,100 - Tell him I have a pain in the ass. 273 00:15:39,100 --> 00:15:39,900 - I'll tell you what you've got, 274 00:15:39,900 --> 00:15:41,066 anal AIDS in your ass, 275 00:15:41,066 --> 00:15:42,800 that's what you've got. 276 00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:45,633 - Nice talking to you, Jeri. 277 00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:47,800 Wanker. 278 00:15:57,733 --> 00:16:00,266 [bright dance music] 279 00:16:10,066 --> 00:16:11,766 ♪ [mumbles] 280 00:16:12,733 --> 00:16:14,900 ♪ The water verging in my eyes 281 00:16:15,633 --> 00:16:17,633 ♪ If you want to see how epic is 282 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:20,800 ♪ The electric adrenaline 283 00:16:21,966 --> 00:16:24,466 ♪ Tell me what the fuck a dream's for 284 00:16:24,700 --> 00:16:27,300 ♪ Have to fuck a lot for heaven's door 285 00:16:27,300 --> 00:16:28,100 [grunts] 286 00:16:28,100 --> 00:16:29,000 ♪ Pop your pop can 287 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:29,766 ♪ And a beer 288 00:16:29,766 --> 00:16:30,500 - Yeah! 289 00:16:30,500 --> 00:16:31,933 ♪ In a chimney 290 00:16:32,033 --> 00:16:34,300 ♪ Reach high Ohio 291 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:41,966 ♪ Since you're intent on like a Welling gun. 292 00:16:42,266 --> 00:16:43,433 ♪ Hand on your heart 293 00:16:43,433 --> 00:16:46,733 ♪ After we run 294 00:16:49,366 --> 00:16:51,333 ♪ I'm going through with Russell 295 00:16:51,333 --> 00:16:54,166 ♪ Yeah, I got lightning in a bottle 296 00:16:54,166 --> 00:16:57,100 ♪ I know you can't love me 297 00:16:57,100 --> 00:17:00,066 ♪ I'm boundless sanity 298 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,033 ♪ I'm going through with Russell 299 00:17:03,100 --> 00:17:06,233 ♪ Yeah, I got lightning in a bottle 300 00:17:06,233 --> 00:17:08,633 ♪ No, you can't stop me. 301 00:17:08,833 --> 00:17:11,533 ♪ I'm boundless sanity 302 00:17:13,966 --> 00:17:16,166 [sings] 303 00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:26,500 - Ah, Angus. Morning. 304 00:17:28,466 --> 00:17:30,300 - Music, take it off. 305 00:17:30,700 --> 00:17:32,000 - I can't hear what you just said. 306 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,566 I'll turn off the music, okay. 307 00:17:34,933 --> 00:17:36,500 - Morning, Angus. 308 00:17:36,500 --> 00:17:38,066 - I still can't hear you. 309 00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:40,833 - I'm just fu- I'm messing around. 310 00:17:41,266 --> 00:17:44,100 - Yeah. Tell me, what are your thoughts on today's subject. 311 00:17:44,100 --> 00:17:45,000 - Ah, it was brilliant. 312 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,133 - Is about? 313 00:17:46,133 --> 00:17:47,600 - Yeah, it was brilliant, superb, 314 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,800 like [grunts] best like, 315 00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:52,600 it's really... up there, you know, 316 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:53,733 pushing the roof. 317 00:17:53,733 --> 00:17:56,466 - Yeah, and what is today's subject? 318 00:17:57,900 --> 00:17:59,466 - Don't know. 319 00:18:00,333 --> 00:18:01,666 But don't worry, I've got faith in you 320 00:18:01,666 --> 00:18:03,700 because you're so good. 321 00:18:03,700 --> 00:18:05,300 - Yeah, well, perhaps if you'd have graced us 322 00:18:05,300 --> 00:18:07,033 with your presence yesterday, 323 00:18:07,033 --> 00:18:08,266 you might know it? 324 00:18:08,266 --> 00:18:10,966 - Yeah, I had to take my nan to the hospital. 325 00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:13,866 She wasn't well, not well at all. 326 00:18:13,866 --> 00:18:17,100 I don't think she's going to make it home for Christmas. 327 00:18:17,100 --> 00:18:18,533 - Well, I'm very sorry to hear that. 328 00:18:18,533 --> 00:18:21,866 - We put the baubles on the tree, we used to do that. 329 00:18:22,133 --> 00:18:23,600 - I'm sorry, yeah. 330 00:18:24,633 --> 00:18:28,833 Well, today we're studying paranoia in social situations. 331 00:18:28,833 --> 00:18:30,966 - Why do you always say that to me? 332 00:18:30,966 --> 00:18:33,166 - Ah, good one. 333 00:18:33,166 --> 00:18:34,200 - Yeah, thanks. 334 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:35,733 Look, can I go and get a coffee, 335 00:18:35,733 --> 00:18:38,800 because I need to get one and have a dump before class. 336 00:18:39,266 --> 00:18:41,800 - Okay, well, remember the essay's soon-- 337 00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:43,166 [mumbles] 338 00:18:45,100 --> 00:18:48,300 ♪ You bounce off me 339 00:18:48,300 --> 00:18:50,500 ♪ I'm boundless energy 340 00:19:03,433 --> 00:19:05,466 - To skip you having to see and read the letter, 341 00:19:05,466 --> 00:19:06,966 or, you know, 342 00:19:06,966 --> 00:19:09,833 us getting Sir Ian McKellen to read the whole fucking thing 343 00:19:09,833 --> 00:19:10,633 out to you, 344 00:19:10,633 --> 00:19:11,566 I'll give you the gist. 345 00:19:11,566 --> 00:19:12,766 It's from the publisher, 346 00:19:12,766 --> 00:19:14,966 telling me that my book is very, very late, 347 00:19:14,966 --> 00:19:16,966 and unless I give them the completed manuscript 348 00:19:16,966 --> 00:19:18,433 very, very soon, 349 00:19:18,433 --> 00:19:20,566 then they want the advance they paid me back, 350 00:19:20,566 --> 00:19:22,466 which, seeing as I've spent it, 351 00:19:22,466 --> 00:19:25,400 in a nutshell, means I'm very, very fucked. 352 00:19:35,566 --> 00:19:36,366 To Luke 353 00:19:36,366 --> 00:19:38,033 Happy Valentine's day. 354 00:19:38,033 --> 00:19:39,500 Love, Mum. 355 00:19:40,866 --> 00:19:43,900 No! 356 00:19:43,966 --> 00:19:47,900 [echoes] 357 00:20:06,100 --> 00:20:07,800 - Hi, Brady. 358 00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:10,033 I'm Betty, and I've got big boobs. 359 00:20:24,366 --> 00:20:25,266 [text ding] 360 00:20:33,866 --> 00:20:35,100 [text ding] 361 00:20:41,166 --> 00:20:42,533 [text ding] 362 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,300 [text ding] 363 00:20:46,866 --> 00:20:48,100 [text ding] 364 00:20:50,433 --> 00:20:51,733 [text ding] 365 00:20:55,900 --> 00:20:57,066 [text ding] 366 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:03,666 [text ding] 367 00:21:03,666 --> 00:21:05,066 [farting] 368 00:21:14,466 --> 00:21:15,800 [text ding] 369 00:21:20,100 --> 00:21:21,533 [text ding] 370 00:21:32,500 --> 00:21:34,100 [knocking] 371 00:21:40,533 --> 00:21:42,200 - Were you here to see me? 372 00:21:42,300 --> 00:21:43,633 - I'm afraid not, Mrs. Sharp. 373 00:21:43,633 --> 00:21:46,200 - Aww, I was hoping you were here to give me 374 00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:48,233 my Valentine present. 375 00:21:48,333 --> 00:21:51,366 - Mrs. Sharp, are you trying to seduce me? 376 00:21:51,366 --> 00:21:52,733 - Always. 377 00:21:53,933 --> 00:21:56,333 Well, don't just stand there, come in. 378 00:22:02,300 --> 00:22:03,633 - Is Luke around? 379 00:22:03,633 --> 00:22:05,533 - He's in the kitchen. 380 00:22:06,033 --> 00:22:09,466 Don't I get a kiss for Valentine's Day? 381 00:22:23,933 --> 00:22:25,000 - So you made it, then. 382 00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:26,200 - Just about. 383 00:22:28,566 --> 00:22:30,766 - I'm off out, love, I'll see you later. 384 00:22:31,166 --> 00:22:31,800 Here. 385 00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:32,633 - No, Mom. 386 00:22:32,633 --> 00:22:33,733 - Go on, take it. 387 00:22:33,733 --> 00:22:35,066 Go down to the arcade or something. 388 00:22:35,066 --> 00:22:37,233 - Well, I'm not twelve, 389 00:22:37,233 --> 00:22:38,633 but wooh! Thanks, mum. 390 00:22:42,700 --> 00:22:44,166 - Happy Valentine's. 391 00:22:44,166 --> 00:22:45,800 - Thanks, Mrs. Sharp. 392 00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:47,800 - Ms. 393 00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:50,500 Ms. Sharp 394 00:22:55,033 --> 00:22:56,933 - I think your mum fancies me. 395 00:22:56,933 --> 00:22:58,833 - You want some muesli? 396 00:22:58,833 --> 00:23:02,566 - Muesli? I didn't come all this way for hamster food. 397 00:23:02,566 --> 00:23:03,633 Grab your coat. 398 00:23:03,633 --> 00:23:05,100 - Where we going? 399 00:23:05,100 --> 00:23:06,600 - Follow me. 400 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:16,666 - What would you like, boys? 401 00:23:16,866 --> 00:23:18,800 - Porridge. Two. 402 00:23:19,500 --> 00:23:21,833 - Oy, Martin, two heart attacks. 403 00:23:22,166 --> 00:23:24,266 - The English breakfast. 404 00:23:24,266 --> 00:23:26,600 Oh, beautiful, isn't it? 405 00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:28,133 This feast will usually consist 406 00:23:28,133 --> 00:23:31,900 of sausage, bacon, eggs, beans, 407 00:23:31,900 --> 00:23:33,633 fried bread, fried tomatoes. 408 00:23:33,633 --> 00:23:35,066 That's for the healthy aspect. 409 00:23:35,933 --> 00:23:38,266 All right, it's not the healthiest way to start the day, 410 00:23:38,266 --> 00:23:40,400 but you're not going to live forever. 411 00:23:43,700 --> 00:23:45,933 - Great British cuisine. 412 00:23:47,366 --> 00:23:50,833 - I wonder how far you have to jog to work that off? 413 00:23:51,333 --> 00:23:52,466 - What's the point of eating if you're just going 414 00:23:52,466 --> 00:23:53,866 to exercise after? 415 00:23:55,033 --> 00:23:56,733 I better get down to the library. 416 00:23:56,733 --> 00:23:57,866 - Hey. 417 00:23:57,866 --> 00:23:58,933 - What? 418 00:23:58,933 --> 00:24:00,166 - I'm bunking off. 419 00:24:00,166 --> 00:24:01,433 You can't just go running off to a library 420 00:24:01,433 --> 00:24:02,566 to do some work. 421 00:24:02,566 --> 00:24:03,966 - I've got to finish my book. 422 00:24:03,966 --> 00:24:05,166 - Do it tomorrow. 423 00:24:05,166 --> 00:24:06,333 - No, no, there are people relying on me 424 00:24:06,333 --> 00:24:08,033 to finish this novel. 425 00:24:09,166 --> 00:24:11,866 - Well, all I'm saying is you don't have to do it right now. 426 00:24:11,866 --> 00:24:14,033 - What we going to do instead? 427 00:24:16,366 --> 00:24:18,633 - It's pretty awesome to think that 428 00:24:18,633 --> 00:24:20,966 we're only thirty of miles away 429 00:24:20,966 --> 00:24:23,366 from millions of French people. 430 00:24:24,900 --> 00:24:27,700 You can almost smell the cheese. 431 00:24:29,433 --> 00:24:31,333 - You still blocked? 432 00:24:31,633 --> 00:24:33,933 - No, had a good one this morning. 433 00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:36,300 - The book. 434 00:24:36,700 --> 00:24:39,466 - I stare at the screen, but I can't seem to press the keys 435 00:24:39,466 --> 00:24:40,833 in the right order. 436 00:24:40,833 --> 00:24:41,766 Rest of the book's fine. 437 00:24:41,766 --> 00:24:43,266 It's actually pretty good, 438 00:24:43,266 --> 00:24:44,733 but since Jen dumped me, 439 00:24:44,733 --> 00:24:46,566 I've just dried up. 440 00:24:46,566 --> 00:24:49,300 - Like a nun's hooch on Monday. 441 00:24:50,300 --> 00:24:53,033 - [Luke] I should just give up, get a real job. 442 00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:55,866 - Bollocks. 443 00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:58,933 - Look at me. I'm almost middle-aged. 444 00:24:58,933 --> 00:25:01,100 - You're twenty-seven. 445 00:25:01,100 --> 00:25:03,466 - I live with my mum. 446 00:25:03,466 --> 00:25:06,566 I'm unemployed, no girlfriend, no money. 447 00:25:06,566 --> 00:25:09,766 I need money, my own money. 448 00:25:09,866 --> 00:25:10,766 - You make it sound like you have 449 00:25:10,766 --> 00:25:12,700 the worst life in the world. 450 00:25:12,700 --> 00:25:14,466 Look at me, I work. 451 00:25:15,300 --> 00:25:17,966 I'm a fucking insurance salesman. 452 00:25:17,966 --> 00:25:19,366 I sit behind a desk all day 453 00:25:19,366 --> 00:25:21,100 and chat to people who don't want to speak to me. 454 00:25:21,100 --> 00:25:23,066 Then talk them into buying insurance they don't need 455 00:25:23,066 --> 00:25:24,700 and really can't afford. 456 00:25:24,700 --> 00:25:26,800 What kind of a fucking job is that? 457 00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:28,566 - One that pays the rent. 458 00:25:28,933 --> 00:25:30,300 - What's the point of working nine to five, 459 00:25:30,300 --> 00:25:31,466 Monday through Friday, 460 00:25:31,466 --> 00:25:33,033 and accomplishing nothing? 461 00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:36,566 You're writing a book. 462 00:25:36,566 --> 00:25:38,100 You're doing something for yourself. 463 00:25:38,100 --> 00:25:39,500 At the end of the day, 464 00:25:39,500 --> 00:25:40,700 everything that I do is for somebody else's benefit. 465 00:25:40,700 --> 00:25:42,633 So why not do what you really want to do? 466 00:25:42,633 --> 00:25:44,866 - What, drawing? That's just a dream. 467 00:25:44,866 --> 00:25:45,766 - Stop calling it a dream. 468 00:25:45,766 --> 00:25:46,733 Call it an ambition. 469 00:25:46,733 --> 00:25:47,633 If I can get paid to write, 470 00:25:47,633 --> 00:25:48,666 you can get paid to draw. 471 00:25:48,666 --> 00:25:50,033 Draw what? 472 00:25:50,033 --> 00:25:51,566 - You could illustrate my book. 473 00:25:51,566 --> 00:25:54,100 - You can't finish that book, remember? 474 00:26:00,866 --> 00:26:03,300 - Did Brady say anything? 475 00:26:04,433 --> 00:26:06,000 - Not really. 476 00:26:08,900 --> 00:26:11,133 - Don't you think you're cutting it close? 477 00:26:12,066 --> 00:26:13,866 - I wish I was like you. 478 00:26:13,866 --> 00:26:15,066 You know what you want. 479 00:26:15,066 --> 00:26:16,966 - Are you shitting me? 480 00:26:16,966 --> 00:26:18,666 - I'm a mess. 481 00:26:18,666 --> 00:26:20,366 I don't know what to believe. 482 00:26:20,366 --> 00:26:22,166 - I thought you believed in everything. 483 00:26:22,166 --> 00:26:23,933 - Yeah, well, 484 00:26:23,933 --> 00:26:27,266 I'm having a kind of a crisis of faith. 485 00:26:29,700 --> 00:26:32,000 All this stuff seemed right. 486 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:33,733 I thought it had all the answers, 487 00:26:33,733 --> 00:26:36,966 but I'm not so sure. 488 00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:40,333 - And Yogi? 489 00:26:40,333 --> 00:26:42,333 - Well, he's in freaking India, isn't he? 490 00:26:42,333 --> 00:26:44,633 There's only so much masturbation I can handle, 491 00:26:44,633 --> 00:26:46,200 tantric or not. 492 00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:47,666 - Thought I was confused. 493 00:26:47,666 --> 00:26:49,700 - You are confused. 494 00:26:51,033 --> 00:26:52,866 - So you'll become a Hindu or something? 495 00:26:52,866 --> 00:26:54,100 - No. 496 00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:56,166 [scoffs] I don't know. 497 00:26:56,166 --> 00:26:57,300 That's the point. 498 00:26:59,666 --> 00:27:01,833 - What does Yogi say about all this? 499 00:27:01,833 --> 00:27:03,666 [laughs] 500 00:27:04,166 --> 00:27:06,800 - Something fucking spiritual. 501 00:27:07,166 --> 00:27:08,800 - Do you love him? 502 00:27:09,700 --> 00:27:11,966 - Yogi doesn't believe in love, 503 00:27:11,966 --> 00:27:14,900 not as the Western mind understands it. 504 00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:17,533 - What do you believe in? 505 00:27:17,533 --> 00:27:20,866 - I believe, sometimes you just have to re-evaluate 506 00:27:20,866 --> 00:27:23,600 and say fuck it. 507 00:27:25,633 --> 00:27:26,933 - So you think I should say fuck it 508 00:27:26,933 --> 00:27:28,733 and just go for it with Brady? 509 00:27:29,333 --> 00:27:31,900 - Well, that's not for me to say, is it? 510 00:27:32,500 --> 00:27:34,366 But if you don't, 511 00:27:34,366 --> 00:27:37,400 I can always teach you some tantric masturbation. 512 00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:38,866 [laughs] 513 00:27:41,666 --> 00:27:44,066 - Do you ever think, what if I jumped? 514 00:27:44,066 --> 00:27:45,766 [screaming] 515 00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:49,800 - I do. 516 00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:53,700 I wonder, what if Luke jumped? 517 00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:56,566 - Seriously, what difference would it make? 518 00:27:56,566 --> 00:27:58,500 - Well, Angus would then be my best mate, 519 00:27:58,500 --> 00:27:59,866 which would be shit. 520 00:27:59,866 --> 00:28:01,700 - What about Jennifer? 521 00:28:02,566 --> 00:28:05,100 - What if you pushed her off? 522 00:28:05,100 --> 00:28:06,300 - Would she care? 523 00:28:06,300 --> 00:28:07,800 Would she give a shit? 524 00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:08,500 - Of course she would. 525 00:28:08,500 --> 00:28:09,266 She loved you. 526 00:28:09,266 --> 00:28:11,100 - Ah, see? Loved. 527 00:28:11,366 --> 00:28:12,833 Past tense. 528 00:28:13,233 --> 00:28:15,533 Would she cry? Would she? 529 00:28:16,333 --> 00:28:17,533 - Do you want her to cry? 530 00:28:17,533 --> 00:28:19,300 - Fuck yeah, I want her to cry. 531 00:28:19,300 --> 00:28:21,333 I want her to be sad. I want her heartbroken. 532 00:28:21,333 --> 00:28:24,433 I want her to sleep on my coffin, to weep on my grave. 533 00:28:24,433 --> 00:28:25,933 - It's getting a little bit weird, now, mate. 534 00:28:25,933 --> 00:28:27,233 - Oh, you wouldn't understand. 535 00:28:27,233 --> 00:28:28,233 - Why? 536 00:28:28,233 --> 00:28:29,833 - Well, you're hardly-- 537 00:28:29,833 --> 00:28:31,333 forgive me, 538 00:28:31,333 --> 00:28:33,466 deep, when it comes to relationships. 539 00:28:33,466 --> 00:28:35,433 - I've had tons of relationships. 540 00:28:35,433 --> 00:28:37,500 - I don't count tromboning as a relationship. 541 00:28:37,500 --> 00:28:39,066 - I've had girlfriends. 542 00:28:39,066 --> 00:28:40,866 - Yeah, but you hardly loved any of them. 543 00:28:40,866 --> 00:28:42,100 - How would you know? 544 00:28:42,100 --> 00:28:43,533 - Well, when you're in love, you're fulfilled. 545 00:28:43,533 --> 00:28:44,800 That person becomes a part of you. 546 00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:46,833 They become the reason that you breathe. 547 00:28:46,833 --> 00:28:48,166 They make you feel like you're the person 548 00:28:48,166 --> 00:28:49,933 you always wanted to be. 549 00:28:49,933 --> 00:28:51,966 - And you just became the gayest man in England. 550 00:28:51,966 --> 00:28:54,933 - Have you ever said I love you? 551 00:28:55,533 --> 00:28:57,266 - Well, I thought it might scare you off, 552 00:28:57,266 --> 00:28:59,333 but I love you. 553 00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:01,900 - I don't need any more weird stuff today. 554 00:29:01,900 --> 00:29:04,266 - [laughs] What? 555 00:29:04,266 --> 00:29:05,600 - What's that? 556 00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:06,966 Is that from Jen? 557 00:29:06,966 --> 00:29:08,700 - Take a look. 558 00:29:12,166 --> 00:29:13,400 [laughs] 559 00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:16,000 - Wow! Love, mum. 560 00:29:18,233 --> 00:29:20,733 Wow, that, that is fucked up. 561 00:29:20,733 --> 00:29:22,700 - That could scar someone for life. 562 00:29:22,700 --> 00:29:24,300 - Your mummy's pretty hot. 563 00:29:24,300 --> 00:29:26,133 - Seriously! 564 00:29:26,900 --> 00:29:29,100 - You are way too serious today, man. 565 00:29:29,100 --> 00:29:30,533 I'm trying to take the day off, 566 00:29:30,533 --> 00:29:32,666 and you're acting like Julia Fucking Roberts. 567 00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:35,833 - All right. 568 00:29:35,900 --> 00:29:37,733 So how was last night? 569 00:29:39,233 --> 00:29:41,233 - Well, this feels wrong. 570 00:29:41,366 --> 00:29:42,300 - What? 571 00:29:42,300 --> 00:29:43,766 - We're sitting on a clifftop. 572 00:29:43,766 --> 00:29:47,400 This isn't the right place for this kind of conversation. 573 00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:51,033 There's only one place for this kind of chat. 574 00:29:56,166 --> 00:30:00,200 - The pub, that great bastion of British tradition, 575 00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:02,500 a place to meet, 576 00:30:02,500 --> 00:30:04,833 socialize, discuss politics, 577 00:30:04,833 --> 00:30:07,566 and current affairs, 578 00:30:08,900 --> 00:30:10,333 or to tell jokes, get pissed, 579 00:30:10,333 --> 00:30:11,766 rant about football, 580 00:30:11,766 --> 00:30:13,733 and argue for three hours about who's the best James Bond. 581 00:30:14,433 --> 00:30:17,100 I think the answer to that is pretty fucking clear. 582 00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:21,200 It's a symbol of all that is great in this fair Britain. 583 00:30:22,066 --> 00:30:24,433 God bless the pub. 584 00:30:37,900 --> 00:30:39,133 - [Swerve] Morning, lads. 585 00:30:39,133 --> 00:30:40,400 - Morning, Swerve. 586 00:30:40,500 --> 00:30:41,866 - [Swerve] Bit early for you two today, isn't it? 587 00:30:41,866 --> 00:30:43,433 - Not today, it's not. 588 00:30:45,333 --> 00:30:46,400 - The usual. 589 00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:49,033 - Yeah, thanks. That was quick. 590 00:30:49,033 --> 00:30:50,533 - [Swerve] I read your mind. 591 00:30:50,533 --> 00:30:52,000 What's the matter with you today? 592 00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:54,066 - He got a Valentine's day card from his mum. 593 00:30:54,066 --> 00:30:54,966 - Oy! 594 00:30:54,966 --> 00:30:56,800 I've got writer's block. 595 00:30:56,800 --> 00:30:57,733 - Writer, eh? 596 00:30:57,733 --> 00:30:58,833 - Yeah. 597 00:30:59,100 --> 00:31:00,266 - What sort of writer? 598 00:31:00,266 --> 00:31:01,533 - Novels. 599 00:31:01,533 --> 00:31:03,000 - Well, you're the next Jeffrey Archer, are you? 600 00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:04,233 - God, I hope not. 601 00:31:04,233 --> 00:31:05,433 No, mine's about a man hunted 602 00:31:05,433 --> 00:31:07,666 by the demons from a parallel dimension. 603 00:31:07,666 --> 00:31:09,466 - Nah, don't like all of that stuff. 604 00:31:09,466 --> 00:31:12,500 I prefer a bit of erotic fiction, myself. 605 00:31:12,500 --> 00:31:14,500 - So you two coming to the party tonight? 606 00:31:14,500 --> 00:31:17,300 - Well, I'll see how depressed I am. 607 00:31:17,300 --> 00:31:19,266 - You want to move on. 608 00:31:19,266 --> 00:31:21,433 She obviously has. 609 00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:29,200 He's a bit sensitive, there. 610 00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:31,266 - Ah, you know, love and all that. 611 00:31:31,266 --> 00:31:33,300 - I prefer a bit of dogging, myself. 612 00:31:33,500 --> 00:31:35,066 [disgusted sigh] 613 00:31:42,633 --> 00:31:45,333 [ominous music] 614 00:31:48,866 --> 00:31:50,266 - What you looking at? 615 00:31:50,266 --> 00:31:51,800 - Nothing. 616 00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:52,866 To our lives. 617 00:31:52,866 --> 00:31:54,633 - Tp going nowhere fast. 618 00:31:55,100 --> 00:31:57,033 - So now we're in our comfortable seats, 619 00:31:57,033 --> 00:31:58,766 tell me about last night. 620 00:31:59,933 --> 00:32:01,666 - A gentlemen never tells, 621 00:32:01,666 --> 00:32:04,033 but me, not being one, would, 622 00:32:04,033 --> 00:32:06,866 except I really don't remember. 623 00:32:06,866 --> 00:32:09,533 - What, no memory of mind-blowing sex? 624 00:32:09,533 --> 00:32:11,033 - I don't even remember pulling her. 625 00:32:11,033 --> 00:32:13,466 - Ah, that's because you didn't. 626 00:32:13,466 --> 00:32:15,233 - She came after me. 627 00:32:15,233 --> 00:32:16,866 - Like a velociraptor. 628 00:32:16,866 --> 00:32:18,633 - All I know is, I woke up this morning 629 00:32:18,633 --> 00:32:20,600 in a strange bed with a girl-- 630 00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:22,366 - A sex crazy, nympho girl. 631 00:32:22,366 --> 00:32:26,966 - A sex, crazy nympho girl riding me like a palamino. 632 00:32:29,333 --> 00:32:30,533 - You got laid in your sleep? 633 00:32:30,533 --> 00:32:32,566 - I know, cheeky bitch. 634 00:32:32,566 --> 00:32:34,566 - I can think of worse ways to be woken up. 635 00:32:34,566 --> 00:32:36,866 - I can see how you might think that. 636 00:32:36,866 --> 00:32:38,233 - What, sexy girl... 637 00:32:38,233 --> 00:32:40,100 - She was pretty sexy. 638 00:32:40,100 --> 00:32:41,533 - Great body. 639 00:32:41,533 --> 00:32:43,466 - Ah, some people might think it was a good body. 640 00:32:43,466 --> 00:32:45,500 - Then what can you be possibly upset about? 641 00:32:45,500 --> 00:32:48,166 - Well, she was pretty crazy. 642 00:32:48,166 --> 00:32:50,433 - You put up with a bit of crazy for some sex. 643 00:32:50,433 --> 00:32:52,066 - It's not all about sex. 644 00:32:52,066 --> 00:32:53,300 - You are kidding. 645 00:32:53,300 --> 00:32:55,500 This is you. It's all about the sex. 646 00:32:55,500 --> 00:32:57,633 - I just didn't want to be with her. 647 00:32:57,633 --> 00:32:58,933 - Wait, wait, wait. 648 00:32:58,933 --> 00:33:00,233 You didn't want to be, 649 00:33:00,233 --> 00:33:01,166 for one night, 650 00:33:01,166 --> 00:33:03,633 with a sex crazy blond nympho? 651 00:33:03,633 --> 00:33:04,800 - No. 652 00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:06,033 I'm sick of it. 653 00:33:06,033 --> 00:33:08,366 All the girls, all the one-night stands... 654 00:33:08,366 --> 00:33:09,400 - The brilliant sex... 655 00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:10,566 - It's meaningless. 656 00:33:10,566 --> 00:33:12,466 I don't love any of those girls. 657 00:33:12,466 --> 00:33:14,166 I don't want to spend the rest of my life waking up 658 00:33:14,166 --> 00:33:16,333 in strange beds with girls I hardly know 659 00:33:16,333 --> 00:33:18,333 whose names I can't remember. 660 00:33:18,333 --> 00:33:20,766 - I am not getting your point. 661 00:33:21,100 --> 00:33:23,966 - I've fallen in love with someone. 662 00:33:24,266 --> 00:33:26,233 [laughs] 663 00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:29,933 I'm fucking serious. 664 00:33:29,933 --> 00:33:31,500 - What are you talking about? 665 00:33:31,500 --> 00:33:34,233 - I've fallen in love. 666 00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:36,333 - [laughs] Seriously? 667 00:33:37,133 --> 00:33:38,533 - Totally. 668 00:33:42,433 --> 00:33:44,666 - Oh, Jesus, you're serious. 669 00:33:44,666 --> 00:33:46,333 With who? 670 00:33:46,333 --> 00:33:47,800 It's not Jennifer? 671 00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:49,700 Fuck, no, no. 672 00:33:49,700 --> 00:33:50,833 - What's wrong with Jennifer? 673 00:33:50,833 --> 00:33:52,966 - Uh, it's Fred. 674 00:33:53,666 --> 00:33:56,333 - Come on, seriously. Who is it, really? 675 00:33:56,333 --> 00:33:58,166 - It's Fred. 676 00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:00,966 - You're in love with Fred? 677 00:34:01,500 --> 00:34:04,066 - Why is that so hard to believe? 678 00:34:04,233 --> 00:34:05,966 - What, you've known each other since you were kids. 679 00:34:05,966 --> 00:34:08,466 That's a bit inbred. 680 00:34:08,766 --> 00:34:09,733 - Fuck off. 681 00:34:09,733 --> 00:34:10,933 - She's leaving soon. 682 00:34:10,933 --> 00:34:12,000 What are you going to do about that? 683 00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:13,166 - I don't know. 684 00:34:13,166 --> 00:34:14,566 I wanted to tell her this morning, 685 00:34:14,566 --> 00:34:16,233 but then I go and end up sleeping with another woman. 686 00:34:16,233 --> 00:34:18,100 - God, that's such an easy mistake to make, isn't it? 687 00:34:18,100 --> 00:34:19,600 I've done that twice myself this morning. 688 00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:21,500 - With your mum? 689 00:34:23,300 --> 00:34:25,466 - Why in a million years would she feel 690 00:34:25,466 --> 00:34:27,233 the same way about me? 691 00:34:28,133 --> 00:34:31,200 - Because he's kind, sweet, funny, charming... 692 00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:32,000 - Handsome. 693 00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:33,433 - Very bloody handsome. 694 00:34:33,433 --> 00:34:36,066 - I bet he can go for hours, too. 695 00:34:37,066 --> 00:34:39,966 - I don't know why, but I just love him. 696 00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:44,400 - Then you have to tell him. 697 00:34:52,733 --> 00:34:55,533 - What I'd really like to know is who invented 698 00:34:55,533 --> 00:34:57,966 this Monday to Friday thing, you know? 699 00:34:58,033 --> 00:34:59,400 Who was the bloke who first decided 700 00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:01,666 we need to spend five days doing things 701 00:35:01,666 --> 00:35:03,066 we don't want to do to earn money, 702 00:35:03,066 --> 00:35:04,566 so we can spend two days 703 00:35:04,566 --> 00:35:07,000 doing what we really want to be doing the other five days, 704 00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:09,233 present company excluded, of course. 705 00:35:09,233 --> 00:35:10,833 - It's just one of those things, isn't it? 706 00:35:10,833 --> 00:35:12,266 I mean, who makes these rules up? 707 00:35:12,266 --> 00:35:13,633 Who decided what food is all right 708 00:35:13,633 --> 00:35:14,900 to eat for breakfast? 709 00:35:14,900 --> 00:35:17,133 Why can we have eggs, sausages, and cereal, 710 00:35:17,133 --> 00:35:19,833 and not burger, pizza, and a curry? 711 00:35:19,833 --> 00:35:21,566 - It's bollocks, you know? 712 00:35:21,566 --> 00:35:23,933 - Why do you never see a chicken omelet? 713 00:35:23,933 --> 00:35:25,166 - Yeah. 714 00:35:25,166 --> 00:35:26,633 We're just brought up with it, aren't we? 715 00:35:26,633 --> 00:35:28,533 It's passed down through the generations like penis size 716 00:35:28,533 --> 00:35:32,633 or webbed feet or webbed penises...? 717 00:35:35,133 --> 00:35:37,833 - Now, you really need to get back out there. 718 00:35:37,833 --> 00:35:40,033 - Ah, can we not talk about my life of loneliness, 719 00:35:40,033 --> 00:35:41,633 abstinence and despair? 720 00:35:41,633 --> 00:35:43,066 - What else are we going to talk about? 721 00:35:43,066 --> 00:35:44,533 I'm not going to spend all afternoon 722 00:35:44,533 --> 00:35:46,800 listening to you talk about your ex. 723 00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:49,000 You need to look to the future, not the past. 724 00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:50,400 - It was so good at the beginning. 725 00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:51,600 - It always is. 726 00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:53,366 That's one of those girl games. 727 00:35:53,366 --> 00:35:56,000 They listen to you, tell you how nice you are, 728 00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:57,600 that their last boyfriend was a bastard. 729 00:35:57,600 --> 00:35:59,000 - I got that one. 730 00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:00,233 - And then they sense they've got you believing 731 00:36:00,233 --> 00:36:02,466 they like you for who you really are, 732 00:36:02,466 --> 00:36:03,900 and then bam! 733 00:36:03,900 --> 00:36:05,300 Suddenly they want to change you to 734 00:36:05,300 --> 00:36:07,200 who they really like. 735 00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:08,700 Now they start choosing your clothes. 736 00:36:08,700 --> 00:36:10,400 They buy you the cologne they like. 737 00:36:10,400 --> 00:36:12,400 So they never really liked you. 738 00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:13,366 They were just trying to see how easy 739 00:36:13,366 --> 00:36:15,166 it would be to mold you. 740 00:36:15,166 --> 00:36:17,766 - Jennifer did keep suggesting I get a real job. 741 00:36:17,766 --> 00:36:19,400 - And you fought her well. 742 00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:20,800 - And what happened? 743 00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:23,533 - She couldn't mold you into who she really wanted. 744 00:36:23,533 --> 00:36:25,166 I mean, haven't you ever noticed the strange way 745 00:36:25,166 --> 00:36:28,333 all girls seem to have the same DVDs in their collection? 746 00:36:28,333 --> 00:36:31,333 - You'll always find Pretty Woman, Dirty Dancing. 747 00:36:31,333 --> 00:36:32,566 - [Luke] Ghost. 748 00:36:32,566 --> 00:36:33,633 - And there's always a fucking fitness DVD 749 00:36:33,633 --> 00:36:34,866 you've never seen her use. 750 00:36:34,866 --> 00:36:36,033 - Yes, that's spooky. 751 00:36:36,033 --> 00:36:38,100 Maybe they're not really DVDs inside. 752 00:36:38,100 --> 00:36:39,900 Maybe they're like instructional tapes somehow 753 00:36:39,900 --> 00:36:41,333 to control us. 754 00:36:41,500 --> 00:36:42,933 - It would be the safest place. 755 00:36:42,933 --> 00:36:45,300 They know we're not going to ask to borrow any of them 756 00:36:45,300 --> 00:36:47,300 to watch with the lads. 757 00:36:47,300 --> 00:36:49,266 Kind of like how we hide our porn. 758 00:36:49,266 --> 00:36:51,166 - I kept mine in a Driller Killer case. 759 00:36:51,166 --> 00:36:53,533 - Yeah, Zombie Flesh Eaters. 760 00:36:55,100 --> 00:36:57,366 - Hello, lover. 761 00:36:57,366 --> 00:36:59,500 - Talk of the bloody devil. 762 00:37:02,733 --> 00:37:06,066 - I came to see my Valentine sweetheart. 763 00:37:06,066 --> 00:37:08,866 - Well, if I see him, I'll warn him. 764 00:37:09,266 --> 00:37:12,366 - So what have you planned for us tonight? 765 00:37:12,366 --> 00:37:14,633 - A trip to the psychiatrist. 766 00:37:15,633 --> 00:37:18,266 - I thought I'd make a romantic dinner for two tonight. 767 00:37:18,266 --> 00:37:20,766 - Oh, I hope you're hungry. 768 00:37:21,300 --> 00:37:24,500 - I'm going to make something for us special. 769 00:37:29,766 --> 00:37:32,366 - Suzy, it's over. 770 00:37:33,100 --> 00:37:34,600 - No, no. 771 00:37:42,866 --> 00:37:47,766 - That is one fucked up Fatal Attraction, Basic Instinct, 772 00:37:47,766 --> 00:37:50,900 Hand that Rocks the fucking Cradle looney! 773 00:37:50,900 --> 00:37:52,000 - I told you. 774 00:37:52,666 --> 00:37:54,266 - Right body though. 775 00:37:54,700 --> 00:37:56,366 Very nubile. 776 00:37:59,333 --> 00:38:01,400 - Right, another one? 777 00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:04,233 - No, I can't, I've got to finish this book. 778 00:38:15,400 --> 00:38:17,566 - Hello. Hello, Luke. 779 00:38:17,566 --> 00:38:19,033 Hello pretty young girl. 780 00:38:19,033 --> 00:38:21,466 Hello piece of paper with a phone number written on. 781 00:38:21,466 --> 00:38:23,166 What's going on? 782 00:38:23,166 --> 00:38:25,700 Nothing, I am bang on track loser. 783 00:38:25,700 --> 00:38:27,666 This is just an optical illusion. 784 00:38:27,666 --> 00:38:29,000 - See I told you, man. 785 00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:30,200 Was it that difficult? 786 00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:32,066 - No, it was remarkably easy, actually, 787 00:38:32,066 --> 00:38:36,066 especially when she asked if I could give you her number. 788 00:38:36,300 --> 00:38:37,200 - What? 789 00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:38,100 - She asked me 790 00:38:38,100 --> 00:38:40,066 to give you her number. 791 00:38:40,066 --> 00:38:42,300 So you manged to pull her through proxy. 792 00:38:43,066 --> 00:38:44,900 - Well, I don't want it. 793 00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:47,466 - Oh, that's right. You're in love. 794 00:38:48,100 --> 00:38:49,866 So tear it up. 795 00:38:51,133 --> 00:38:52,766 - No problem. 796 00:38:54,133 --> 00:38:55,166 - Come on, then, tear it up. 797 00:38:55,166 --> 00:38:56,566 - I will. 798 00:38:57,000 --> 00:38:58,233 - Go on, then. 799 00:39:00,100 --> 00:39:02,500 - Ah, I see, I knew you couldn't do it. 800 00:39:02,833 --> 00:39:04,533 [dramatic orchestral music] 801 00:39:11,066 --> 00:39:11,800 - Done. 802 00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:13,066 - I'm impressed. 803 00:39:13,066 --> 00:39:14,600 - I feel good. 804 00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:16,666 I feel alive. 805 00:39:17,133 --> 00:39:19,933 I'm the king of the world. 806 00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:21,700 - Smile for the camera. 807 00:39:22,566 --> 00:39:23,733 What's that face for? 808 00:39:23,733 --> 00:39:24,866 I could swear to god you just said, 809 00:39:24,866 --> 00:39:26,466 "I feel like the king of the world." 810 00:39:26,466 --> 00:39:28,633 - I'm sick. I don't know what I'm saying. 811 00:39:28,866 --> 00:39:30,066 - What are you looking at? 812 00:39:30,066 --> 00:39:31,466 You know, I'm not a complete idiot. 813 00:39:31,466 --> 00:39:33,100 - No, not completely. Almost. 814 00:39:33,100 --> 00:39:34,466 - We'll see who's laughing when I send this picture 815 00:39:34,466 --> 00:39:35,833 to the boss man. 816 00:39:35,833 --> 00:39:38,266 - You really are a sniveling, burnout little shit. 817 00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:39,566 - You must be Luke. 818 00:39:39,566 --> 00:39:40,933 - Yeah, yeah. You must be Jeri, Jeri. 819 00:39:40,933 --> 00:39:42,500 - No, it's Jeremy, 820 00:39:42,500 --> 00:39:44,600 and I'll see you bright and early tomorrow morning. 821 00:39:44,666 --> 00:39:46,166 If you're leaving, bye. 822 00:39:48,866 --> 00:39:50,566 - What are you going to do? 823 00:39:50,566 --> 00:39:51,633 - Get a drink. 824 00:39:51,633 --> 00:39:52,600 - No, I can't. 825 00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:53,566 - Luke, don't give me that shit 826 00:39:53,566 --> 00:39:54,966 about going to the library. 827 00:39:54,966 --> 00:39:57,066 This is an emergency. 828 00:39:57,500 --> 00:39:59,833 - Then let's go get wasted. 829 00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:02,400 Who're you calling? 830 00:40:02,733 --> 00:40:04,433 - Reinforcements. 831 00:40:06,866 --> 00:40:08,466 [phone ringing] 832 00:40:08,766 --> 00:40:09,933 - [Voiceover] Angus! 833 00:40:10,066 --> 00:40:12,833 - Yeah, yeah, yo! Shoot. 834 00:40:14,266 --> 00:40:15,700 Yeah? 835 00:40:18,866 --> 00:40:20,400 Yeah, I understand. 836 00:40:20,633 --> 00:40:22,466 Yeah, I'll be, I'll be, I'll be there. 837 00:40:23,666 --> 00:40:25,066 All right, I'm off. 838 00:40:25,066 --> 00:40:26,800 Laters, people. 839 00:40:27,066 --> 00:40:29,033 - Angus, this is not a social media network 840 00:40:29,033 --> 00:40:31,233 where you can log off and on at will, you know. 841 00:40:31,233 --> 00:40:32,666 There are scheduled hours here. 842 00:40:32,666 --> 00:40:34,533 - Like prison? 843 00:40:34,666 --> 00:40:35,966 Or work? 844 00:40:35,966 --> 00:40:38,866 Personally I come here to get away from work 845 00:40:38,866 --> 00:40:40,200 and prison. 846 00:40:40,766 --> 00:40:42,766 We're students, meant to rebel. 847 00:40:43,266 --> 00:40:45,200 We got to have time off for the hangovers 848 00:40:45,200 --> 00:40:46,800 and the cool-downs. 849 00:40:50,466 --> 00:40:53,033 We need time and space. 850 00:40:53,366 --> 00:40:56,766 We need to chill. 851 00:40:57,633 --> 00:40:59,800 - Just get the fuck out. 852 00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:05,966 - I'll always remain, 853 00:41:05,966 --> 00:41:08,000 underground [mumbles]. 854 00:41:15,700 --> 00:41:16,666 [phone ringing] 855 00:41:16,666 --> 00:41:18,700 - Oh, that's... [mumbles]. 856 00:41:19,400 --> 00:41:21,200 That's unhygienic. 857 00:41:21,633 --> 00:41:23,500 - Are you going to answer that? 858 00:41:27,300 --> 00:41:28,733 - My bills are fine. 859 00:41:28,733 --> 00:41:30,966 I haven't had an accident in the last six months. 860 00:41:30,966 --> 00:41:33,000 I don't want to change my energy supplier. 861 00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:35,133 I don't want to upgrade my mobile phone, 862 00:41:35,133 --> 00:41:37,000 and I don't want to attend your seminar, 863 00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:39,133 not even for a free toaster. 864 00:41:39,133 --> 00:41:40,900 Have I missed anything? 865 00:41:43,466 --> 00:41:44,566 Oh. 866 00:41:47,233 --> 00:41:48,600 It's Luke. 867 00:41:48,700 --> 00:41:50,766 Says he and Brady are going to spend the afternoon 868 00:41:50,766 --> 00:41:52,100 on a pub crawl, 869 00:41:52,100 --> 00:41:54,733 and are kindly asking if we'd like to join them. 870 00:41:57,733 --> 00:41:59,566 - Fuck it. Why not? 871 00:41:59,566 --> 00:42:01,300 I could do with a few pints. 872 00:42:01,400 --> 00:42:03,833 - I think we'll meet you later. 873 00:42:04,466 --> 00:42:06,600 - What the hell are you looking at? 874 00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:09,433 - I'm going through Angus's history. 875 00:42:09,433 --> 00:42:12,600 I believe this site's called GILFs are Us. 876 00:42:15,566 --> 00:42:17,166 - I know they say to respect your elders, 877 00:42:17,166 --> 00:42:20,133 but that is going too far. 878 00:42:20,133 --> 00:42:23,433 - Since when did a ten-inch dildo spell respect? 879 00:42:26,066 --> 00:42:28,600 [upbeat music] 880 00:42:36,233 --> 00:42:38,166 - Wankers! 881 00:42:38,166 --> 00:42:39,800 - [Brady] Hello, sweet top. 882 00:42:39,866 --> 00:42:40,900 [laughs] 883 00:42:40,900 --> 00:42:41,666 - That is a mate. 884 00:42:41,666 --> 00:42:43,266 No fuss, no waiting. 885 00:42:43,266 --> 00:42:44,200 - I hope we didn't drag you away 886 00:42:44,200 --> 00:42:45,133 from anything important, buddy. 887 00:42:45,133 --> 00:42:46,833 - Nah, my balls fell out again, 888 00:42:46,833 --> 00:42:49,900 and I think I did something wrong to a piece of cod. 889 00:42:50,033 --> 00:42:51,200 How was your day? 890 00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:53,566 - Possibly the shittiest day ever. 891 00:42:53,566 --> 00:42:54,800 - I'll drink to that. 892 00:42:54,800 --> 00:42:57,366 Let's drink these up and gab more, shall we? 893 00:43:09,533 --> 00:43:11,066 - Come on, guys. 894 00:43:11,066 --> 00:43:12,966 - That one's a bit gassy. 895 00:43:13,333 --> 00:43:14,500 [burp] 896 00:43:14,500 --> 00:43:15,733 - It's making me cry a little bit. 897 00:43:15,733 --> 00:43:16,966 [laughing] 898 00:43:26,233 --> 00:43:28,300 Whew, I'm not even finishing that. 899 00:43:28,300 --> 00:43:29,500 - I'm not leaving mine. 900 00:43:29,500 --> 00:43:31,366 - Come on, they're bitter. 901 00:43:31,366 --> 00:43:32,466 - Bitter moment. 902 00:43:32,466 --> 00:43:34,300 [laughing] 903 00:43:38,066 --> 00:43:39,700 You fucking pussy. 904 00:43:47,700 --> 00:43:50,266 - Right. How many girls have you slept with? 905 00:43:50,266 --> 00:43:52,000 - Oh, I knew you'd ask this question. 906 00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:53,600 Not as many as you, you slut. 907 00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:55,533 - And I want to hear names. 908 00:43:55,533 --> 00:43:56,566 - All right, you first. 909 00:43:56,566 --> 00:43:58,566 - No, I asked you. 910 00:43:58,666 --> 00:43:59,466 - So? 911 00:43:59,466 --> 00:44:01,066 - Yeah, so? 912 00:44:01,066 --> 00:44:02,333 - All right. 913 00:44:02,333 --> 00:44:04,166 I'll try to remember. 914 00:44:04,400 --> 00:44:06,533 Um, okay [clears throat]. 915 00:44:06,933 --> 00:44:07,633 Annie 916 00:44:07,633 --> 00:44:09,133 [screams] 917 00:44:09,133 --> 00:44:10,000 April 918 00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:10,533 [giggles] 919 00:44:10,533 --> 00:44:11,600 Amber 920 00:44:11,600 --> 00:44:12,633 [squeaks] 921 00:44:12,633 --> 00:44:13,666 - Brittany 922 00:44:13,666 --> 00:44:15,933 - Yeehaw! 923 00:44:15,933 --> 00:44:16,700 - [Brady] Cat 924 00:44:16,700 --> 00:44:17,266 [squeaks] 925 00:44:17,266 --> 00:44:18,166 Clare 926 00:44:18,166 --> 00:44:19,400 - What am I supposed to do? 927 00:44:19,400 --> 00:44:20,800 What am I supposed to do? 928 00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:21,800 - [Brady] Diane 929 00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:23,233 - Oh, well done. 930 00:44:24,866 --> 00:44:25,700 - Edith 931 00:44:25,700 --> 00:44:27,300 - [Edith] Fuck me! 932 00:44:27,433 --> 00:44:28,233 - All right. 933 00:44:28,233 --> 00:44:29,200 - I was only on the Es. 934 00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:31,000 - Yeah, but we get the point. 935 00:44:31,233 --> 00:44:32,966 - All right, then, come on, how many? 936 00:44:34,366 --> 00:44:36,000 [sighs] 937 00:44:39,600 --> 00:44:41,266 - Yeah, that's really good, babe. 938 00:44:41,700 --> 00:44:42,766 Love it. 939 00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:44,600 [apple crunching] 940 00:44:48,700 --> 00:44:50,166 - That's stupid. 941 00:44:50,166 --> 00:44:51,466 - You have to answer. 942 00:44:51,466 --> 00:44:52,466 - What about you? 943 00:44:52,466 --> 00:44:54,933 - I only do the D, K, Ps. 944 00:44:54,933 --> 00:44:56,000 - Like who? 945 00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:58,300 - There was Denise. 946 00:44:58,600 --> 00:45:00,866 - Are you sure that's fully erect? 947 00:45:00,966 --> 00:45:02,400 - [Angus] There was Kayley. 948 00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:04,933 - Hurry up, babes, I've got to get back to school. 949 00:45:04,933 --> 00:45:06,566 - Paulina. 950 00:45:06,566 --> 00:45:08,500 [dog panting] 951 00:45:08,500 --> 00:45:10,233 I'm not sure she even counts. 952 00:45:10,433 --> 00:45:11,633 - All right, one. 953 00:45:11,633 --> 00:45:12,933 I slept with one girl. 954 00:45:12,933 --> 00:45:14,166 - Who is it? 955 00:45:14,166 --> 00:45:15,100 - What do you mean, who was it? 956 00:45:15,100 --> 00:45:16,433 Including Jennifer, of course. 957 00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:20,500 - You slept with one including Jennifer? 958 00:45:20,500 --> 00:45:21,300 - Yeah. 959 00:45:21,300 --> 00:45:22,266 - That's fucking tragic. 960 00:45:22,266 --> 00:45:23,233 - What do you mean? 961 00:45:23,233 --> 00:45:25,833 We were together for five years. 962 00:45:25,933 --> 00:45:28,100 - That means you were a virgin until-- 963 00:45:28,100 --> 00:45:29,466 [laughing] 964 00:45:30,766 --> 00:45:33,100 - All right, just get the fucking drinks. 965 00:45:33,100 --> 00:45:34,300 It's your round, Angus. 966 00:45:34,300 --> 00:45:36,300 - I got these. 967 00:45:36,300 --> 00:45:37,233 - I got these. 968 00:45:37,233 --> 00:45:38,200 - I got the ones before. 969 00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:39,133 - Fuck you. 970 00:45:39,133 --> 00:45:40,466 - Say it again. 971 00:45:40,466 --> 00:45:43,900 You were a virgin until you were twenty-two. 972 00:45:43,900 --> 00:45:46,600 - Just please get the fucking drinks. 973 00:45:47,866 --> 00:45:48,766 - Hey, you know what? 974 00:45:48,766 --> 00:45:49,666 Forget about it, man. 975 00:45:49,666 --> 00:45:51,333 In some ways, I'm jealous. 976 00:45:51,333 --> 00:45:53,433 - In what ways? 977 00:45:54,066 --> 00:45:55,033 - Okay, in no ways. 978 00:45:55,033 --> 00:45:55,866 But you know what? So what. 979 00:45:55,866 --> 00:45:57,133 So it's not a top score. 980 00:45:57,133 --> 00:45:59,066 I've lost interest and had to fake orgasms 981 00:45:59,066 --> 00:46:00,400 to get away early. 982 00:46:00,400 --> 00:46:01,400 [laughs] 983 00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:02,366 - What are you talking about? 984 00:46:02,366 --> 00:46:03,866 Men can't fake an orgasm. 985 00:46:03,866 --> 00:46:05,566 - Yeah, of course we can. 986 00:46:05,566 --> 00:46:07,333 - How do you fake an orgasm? 987 00:46:07,333 --> 00:46:09,166 - You know, you just act. 988 00:46:09,166 --> 00:46:10,800 - Bullshit. 989 00:46:13,866 --> 00:46:15,200 [clears throat] 990 00:46:16,333 --> 00:46:18,000 [moans] 991 00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:20,400 - Yeah, yeah there. 992 00:46:20,666 --> 00:46:22,233 [moans] 993 00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:24,533 There, there. 994 00:46:24,666 --> 00:46:26,100 Oh, all day, yeah. 995 00:46:26,100 --> 00:46:27,033 [moans] 996 00:46:27,033 --> 00:46:29,566 Nearly, nearly, nearly, oh yeah. 997 00:46:29,566 --> 00:46:32,500 Yeah, oh, oh, oh yes! 998 00:46:32,600 --> 00:46:34,266 Nearly! 999 00:46:34,633 --> 00:46:35,666 I'm hearing 1000 00:46:35,666 --> 00:46:37,900 angels sing! 1001 00:46:37,900 --> 00:46:41,966 Just like your sister! 1002 00:46:42,333 --> 00:46:43,733 [moans] 1003 00:46:46,966 --> 00:46:49,166 - I'll have three pints of what he's having. 1004 00:47:04,333 --> 00:47:06,300 [humming] 1005 00:47:18,333 --> 00:47:20,033 - Was tense with mostly wide eyes. 1006 00:47:20,033 --> 00:47:21,633 It's not big ... it's not clever. 1007 00:47:21,833 --> 00:47:23,666 [Brady groans] 1008 00:47:24,700 --> 00:47:26,533 - [Angus] Here we go! 1009 00:47:26,533 --> 00:47:28,666 Round and round again. 1010 00:47:29,433 --> 00:47:30,866 Yay! 1011 00:47:33,600 --> 00:47:36,133 - [Luke] Now this is the tough part of the whole day. 1012 00:47:36,333 --> 00:47:37,533 This is where you start lagging. 1013 00:47:37,533 --> 00:47:39,166 You feel a bit tired. 1014 00:47:39,166 --> 00:47:40,666 You consider going home 1015 00:47:40,666 --> 00:47:42,100 and crashing in front of the TV for the rest of the night, 1016 00:47:42,100 --> 00:47:44,200 but you can't. 1017 00:47:44,800 --> 00:47:48,300 You've spent too much time, effort, and money 1018 00:47:48,300 --> 00:47:50,433 into getting this wrecked. 1019 00:47:50,500 --> 00:47:52,233 It's gonna be a shame to waste it. 1020 00:47:52,633 --> 00:47:53,866 - [Luke] I gotta pee. 1021 00:47:53,866 --> 00:47:56,033 - [Brady] Guys, I think I need to go to work. 1022 00:47:56,633 --> 00:47:58,100 - [Angus] What? You're joking, Romeo. 1023 00:47:58,100 --> 00:47:59,166 - I'll catch you [mumbles]. 1024 00:48:00,566 --> 00:48:02,133 - I've really got to pee. 1025 00:48:02,133 --> 00:48:03,833 - What, shall I wait here, should I? 1026 00:48:07,333 --> 00:48:08,166 [splat] 1027 00:48:37,600 --> 00:48:39,800 [lively, rock music] 1028 00:49:00,733 --> 00:49:02,233 [yawns] 1029 00:49:04,766 --> 00:49:06,200 - Fuck. 1030 00:49:07,866 --> 00:49:09,133 Come on. Come on, come on. 1031 00:49:18,033 --> 00:49:18,933 Fuck. 1032 00:49:23,333 --> 00:49:24,800 Come on. Come on. Come on. 1033 00:49:27,966 --> 00:49:30,100 I knew I shouldn't have had that last pint. 1034 00:49:37,566 --> 00:49:39,200 [panting] 1035 00:49:39,966 --> 00:49:41,500 - What's wrong with you? 1036 00:49:41,500 --> 00:49:43,933 - There was a tall killer like the one from my book, 1037 00:49:43,933 --> 00:49:45,933 chasing me while I was pissing. 1038 00:49:47,666 --> 00:49:49,133 - I just licked shit. 1039 00:49:52,300 --> 00:49:53,566 Want some? 1040 00:50:15,133 --> 00:50:17,200 - I think you're a little late for work. 1041 00:50:17,200 --> 00:50:18,733 - Better late than never. 1042 00:50:18,733 --> 00:50:20,133 - And he's drunk, sir. 1043 00:50:21,366 --> 00:50:23,233 - That makes this all very easy. 1044 00:50:23,233 --> 00:50:25,500 - Woah, woah. Wait a minute. 1045 00:50:25,500 --> 00:50:27,800 I've got something to say. 1046 00:50:27,800 --> 00:50:30,866 Shut the fuck up. No one cares what you think. 1047 00:50:31,866 --> 00:50:35,433 I have in my hand, my resignation. 1048 00:50:36,166 --> 00:50:39,233 I won't be sacked from a job I detest. 1049 00:50:39,633 --> 00:50:42,066 I've done sat behind that fucking typewriter 1050 00:50:42,066 --> 00:50:44,000 for way too long, 1051 00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:47,066 and I'm setting myself free. 1052 00:50:47,066 --> 00:50:48,133 God knows what I'll do, 1053 00:50:48,133 --> 00:50:49,933 or where I'll go, 1054 00:50:49,933 --> 00:50:53,833 but I know it'll be better than this. 1055 00:50:54,933 --> 00:50:56,566 This job. 1056 00:50:58,200 --> 00:50:59,633 [honks] 1057 00:51:00,166 --> 00:51:01,866 - Please get rid of him, sir. 1058 00:51:01,866 --> 00:51:03,533 - Oh, shut up, Jeri. 1059 00:51:03,533 --> 00:51:05,100 And put a tie on. 1060 00:51:11,200 --> 00:51:12,800 [knocking] 1061 00:51:12,800 --> 00:51:13,900 - Ariel. 1062 00:51:15,766 --> 00:51:17,100 Ariel. 1063 00:51:17,800 --> 00:51:19,100 Ariel. 1064 00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:24,233 [snoring] 1065 00:51:37,333 --> 00:51:38,733 You were asleep. 1066 00:51:38,733 --> 00:51:39,966 [laughs] 1067 00:51:39,966 --> 00:51:41,966 - I was in a deep, meditative state, 1068 00:51:41,966 --> 00:51:44,700 touring worlds beyond our own. 1069 00:51:44,700 --> 00:51:47,233 - Sounded a lot like you were asleep. 1070 00:51:47,433 --> 00:51:48,566 I made tea. 1071 00:51:48,566 --> 00:51:50,100 - Oh, gasping. 1072 00:51:51,100 --> 00:51:53,233 - So, I've been thinking. 1073 00:51:53,233 --> 00:51:55,800 - Wait, let me guess. 1074 00:51:56,366 --> 00:51:57,633 Brady. 1075 00:51:57,933 --> 00:52:00,233 - Do you think I should try and be a bit more... 1076 00:52:00,233 --> 00:52:01,500 girly. 1077 00:52:01,733 --> 00:52:03,666 - What, like pigtails girly? 1078 00:52:03,666 --> 00:52:05,766 Or breast-implants girly? 1079 00:52:05,766 --> 00:52:07,533 - Neither, prefarably. 1080 00:52:07,533 --> 00:52:10,300 I was thinking, maybe, a dress. 1081 00:52:12,766 --> 00:52:15,600 - Let me tell you about men. 1082 00:52:15,866 --> 00:52:17,733 They are not like us. 1083 00:52:17,733 --> 00:52:19,700 We have five senses, 1084 00:52:19,700 --> 00:52:21,000 some of us have six, 1085 00:52:21,000 --> 00:52:22,866 but most people just five. 1086 00:52:22,866 --> 00:52:26,300 Hearing, smell, touch, sight, 1087 00:52:26,300 --> 00:52:29,400 and my personal favorite, taste. 1088 00:52:29,766 --> 00:52:32,333 Women use all five senses at once. 1089 00:52:32,333 --> 00:52:34,133 They love to mix and match. 1090 00:52:34,133 --> 00:52:36,633 Men can use just one at a time. 1091 00:52:36,633 --> 00:52:38,933 Their first sense is sight. 1092 00:52:38,933 --> 00:52:40,600 They are visual beings. 1093 00:52:40,600 --> 00:52:43,266 Now, you want it to go deeper than just sight, 1094 00:52:43,266 --> 00:52:47,433 but if you can, and I'll use an analogy you'll understand, 1095 00:52:47,866 --> 00:52:50,466 if you can hook him with sight, 1096 00:52:50,466 --> 00:52:53,300 then you can reel him in using smell, 1097 00:52:53,300 --> 00:52:55,766 touch, and of course, taste, 1098 00:52:55,766 --> 00:52:57,566 and then once you've caught him, 1099 00:52:57,566 --> 00:53:00,233 you can hit him with the hearing. 1100 00:53:01,200 --> 00:53:03,333 So, is that a yes? 1101 00:53:03,333 --> 00:53:05,300 Should I wear a dress, or? 1102 00:53:05,300 --> 00:53:09,300 - In my opinion, why the fuck not? 1103 00:53:12,033 --> 00:53:13,266 [laughs] 1104 00:53:13,266 --> 00:53:16,866 - I feel so good, fan-fucking-tastic. 1105 00:53:17,633 --> 00:53:19,933 - You should've taken a dump. 1106 00:53:19,933 --> 00:53:21,333 - What? 1107 00:53:21,333 --> 00:53:23,066 - Yeah, yeah, you should've pulled down your pants, 1108 00:53:23,066 --> 00:53:24,500 squirted a little, had a shit in your hands, 1109 00:53:24,500 --> 00:53:26,166 and throwed it at their faces and the walls. 1110 00:53:26,166 --> 00:53:27,400 They agree. 1111 00:53:27,400 --> 00:53:30,000 - I'm not sure he needed to go that far, Angus. 1112 00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:31,233 - You can never go too far 1113 00:53:31,233 --> 00:53:33,866 and those approaches the ultimate fuck you. 1114 00:53:34,300 --> 00:53:36,466 - But then I have shit on my hand. 1115 00:53:36,466 --> 00:53:38,166 - Yeah, that's a metaphor. 1116 00:53:38,166 --> 00:53:39,566 - For what? 1117 00:53:39,566 --> 00:53:41,766 - All these years they've been giving him shit. 1118 00:53:41,766 --> 00:53:44,000 Now the tables are turned. 1119 00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:45,166 Yeah. 1120 00:53:45,166 --> 00:53:48,400 - Nah, you' re a dirty bastard, Angus. 1121 00:53:49,066 --> 00:53:50,100 - Yeah, it's all been a witch hour. 1122 00:53:50,100 --> 00:53:51,433 I have to go see Willy Wonka. 1123 00:53:51,433 --> 00:53:52,600 I feel the Oompa-Loompa's about to come in. 1124 00:53:54,133 --> 00:53:56,733 - Hey, don't throw your poop at anyone. 1125 00:53:57,966 --> 00:53:59,333 - Poop? 1126 00:54:06,966 --> 00:54:08,366 [knocks] 1127 00:54:08,766 --> 00:54:10,133 - Hello? 1128 00:54:11,066 --> 00:54:13,800 I'm ready to come to Log Central. 1129 00:54:14,733 --> 00:54:15,900 [groans] 1130 00:54:17,533 --> 00:54:19,266 [gags] 1131 00:54:21,933 --> 00:54:23,500 [mumbles] 1132 00:54:23,966 --> 00:54:25,466 I can taste that. 1133 00:54:27,833 --> 00:54:29,366 [groans] 1134 00:54:32,900 --> 00:54:34,366 [coughs] 1135 00:54:34,733 --> 00:54:36,600 I've seen worse. 1136 00:54:40,500 --> 00:54:41,500 - Oops. 1137 00:54:41,500 --> 00:54:42,900 - [mumbles] 1138 00:54:47,566 --> 00:54:49,966 [sentimental rock music] 1139 00:55:03,266 --> 00:55:05,833 - I was as thirsty as a fish in a barrel of piss. 1140 00:55:06,233 --> 00:55:08,266 You've been drinking all day? 1141 00:55:08,566 --> 00:55:11,100 - I suddenly feel stone-cold sober. 1142 00:55:11,966 --> 00:55:13,566 - Like the dress? 1143 00:55:13,566 --> 00:55:15,533 - Yeah, you look... 1144 00:55:16,333 --> 00:55:17,566 different. 1145 00:55:19,333 --> 00:55:21,666 - Get many cards this morning? 1146 00:55:21,666 --> 00:55:23,000 - I didn't count them. 1147 00:55:23,000 --> 00:55:24,266 - Any good ones? 1148 00:55:24,266 --> 00:55:26,266 - I didn't open them. 1149 00:55:26,266 --> 00:55:27,866 - What did you do with them? 1150 00:55:27,866 --> 00:55:29,733 - Threw them in the bin. 1151 00:55:29,733 --> 00:55:31,333 - Why? 1152 00:55:31,333 --> 00:55:33,633 - I don't care about any of those girls. 1153 00:55:33,633 --> 00:55:36,633 I don't want to spend my life with them. 1154 00:55:36,633 --> 00:55:39,166 I don't love them. 1155 00:55:39,800 --> 00:55:42,366 I want... [laughs] 1156 00:55:43,000 --> 00:55:45,000 I want... 1157 00:55:45,133 --> 00:55:47,033 - What? 1158 00:55:47,266 --> 00:55:48,966 I want... 1159 00:55:49,400 --> 00:55:52,233 another drink, is what I want. 1160 00:55:53,566 --> 00:55:54,766 - How was work today? 1161 00:55:54,766 --> 00:55:56,966 Oh, I forgot, you don't have a job. 1162 00:55:56,966 --> 00:55:58,933 - Well, why should I have a job? 1163 00:55:58,933 --> 00:56:00,866 Half my wages will go towards you 1164 00:56:00,866 --> 00:56:03,866 spending at university experiencing life. 1165 00:56:03,866 --> 00:56:06,066 - It's called an education. 1166 00:56:06,066 --> 00:56:08,333 They teach you words like that at university. 1167 00:56:08,333 --> 00:56:09,566 - Oh, do they? Do they? 1168 00:56:09,566 --> 00:56:11,100 I just thought they taught you words like, 1169 00:56:11,100 --> 00:56:11,900 pfffft, 1170 00:56:11,900 --> 00:56:12,800 slacker, 1171 00:56:12,800 --> 00:56:15,100 and... cannabis. 1172 00:56:15,700 --> 00:56:18,233 - Oh, I almost forgot, Luke. 1173 00:56:18,233 --> 00:56:20,600 I saw a job offer in the paper. 1174 00:56:20,600 --> 00:56:23,400 Penthouse, looking for full-time professional masturbators, 1175 00:56:23,400 --> 00:56:27,533 and I immediately thought, "You're a wanker." 1176 00:56:28,300 --> 00:56:29,966 - The day I use the pub toilets, 1177 00:56:29,966 --> 00:56:31,833 even the bins are doing this. 1178 00:56:33,666 --> 00:56:36,400 I'm saying we should go to get a kebob now. 1179 00:56:36,400 --> 00:56:37,333 - [Luke] Yes, yes, 1180 00:56:37,333 --> 00:56:38,600 kabobs, kabobs, kabobs. 1181 00:56:38,600 --> 00:56:40,633 I got to refuel before we drink more. 1182 00:56:40,633 --> 00:56:41,800 - [Angus] Very wise. 1183 00:56:41,800 --> 00:56:43,200 - Listen to you bunch of little girls. 1184 00:56:43,200 --> 00:56:45,300 I thought geezers like you could drink like fish? 1185 00:56:45,300 --> 00:56:47,566 - No, we are not geezers. 1186 00:56:47,566 --> 00:56:49,166 We are gentlemen drinkers, 1187 00:56:49,166 --> 00:56:51,166 and we are pacing ourselves. 1188 00:56:51,166 --> 00:56:52,700 - Yeah, well, we'll skip it, 1189 00:56:52,700 --> 00:56:54,666 and see you at the party. 1190 00:56:55,000 --> 00:56:55,866 Come on. 1191 00:56:56,433 --> 00:56:57,433 - See you later? 1192 00:56:58,266 --> 00:56:59,566 - I promise. 1193 00:57:03,766 --> 00:57:05,200 - Did you see his face? 1194 00:57:05,200 --> 00:57:06,833 It worked like a dream. 1195 00:57:06,833 --> 00:57:08,433 - You think so? 1196 00:57:08,433 --> 00:57:11,066 - I'm starting to feel my mojo returning. 1197 00:57:11,066 --> 00:57:13,700 - Well, my mojo is fucking freezing in this dress. 1198 00:57:13,700 --> 00:57:15,466 Let's get going. 1199 00:57:17,933 --> 00:57:19,400 - What? Pfffft. 1200 00:57:22,066 --> 00:57:23,433 You look different. 1201 00:57:23,433 --> 00:57:24,200 [laughs] 1202 00:57:24,200 --> 00:57:25,133 - No, he doesn't. 1203 00:57:25,133 --> 00:57:26,966 - No, that's his shitty line. 1204 00:57:26,966 --> 00:57:28,133 - What? 1205 00:57:28,133 --> 00:57:29,900 - You really knocked Fred off her feet. 1206 00:57:29,900 --> 00:57:31,666 - What would you know about knocking girls 1207 00:57:31,666 --> 00:57:33,100 off their feet? 1208 00:57:33,100 --> 00:57:34,600 Jennifer kicked you in the balls, 1209 00:57:34,600 --> 00:57:37,166 and you've been crying over her for the last six weeks. 1210 00:57:37,166 --> 00:57:38,400 - All right, let's just chill, dudes. 1211 00:57:38,400 --> 00:57:40,500 - No, I want to hear Luke's brilliant advice 1212 00:57:40,500 --> 00:57:42,133 on how to handle my love life. 1213 00:57:42,133 --> 00:57:43,366 - Love life? 1214 00:57:43,366 --> 00:57:44,133 No, you've got that the wrong way around. 1215 00:57:44,133 --> 00:57:45,233 You have a sex life, 1216 00:57:45,233 --> 00:57:46,366 but you don't have a love life. 1217 00:57:46,366 --> 00:57:47,766 - Oh, well, at least I have that. 1218 00:57:47,766 --> 00:57:49,133 You don't have either. 1219 00:57:49,133 --> 00:57:51,066 - Well, I'm so flipping sorry 1220 00:57:51,066 --> 00:57:54,466 that I'm not on some quest to shag every girl I see. 1221 00:57:54,466 --> 00:57:56,566 - Well, maybe you should be. 1222 00:57:56,566 --> 00:57:58,300 Maybe it would help you realize 1223 00:57:58,300 --> 00:58:00,200 that the one you had is gone. 1224 00:58:00,200 --> 00:58:01,633 She left you. 1225 00:58:01,633 --> 00:58:02,833 Move on. 1226 00:58:02,833 --> 00:58:04,233 - Let's just chill and get some food. 1227 00:58:04,233 --> 00:58:05,966 - In a minute, I just want to say, 1228 00:58:05,966 --> 00:58:08,833 you're a selifish piece of shit, you are, 1229 00:58:08,833 --> 00:58:10,466 who doesn't deserve a girl like Fred. 1230 00:58:10,466 --> 00:58:12,633 - And you do, is that what you're saying? 1231 00:58:12,633 --> 00:58:14,833 - No, but I'm not the one who's in love with Fred. 1232 00:58:14,833 --> 00:58:16,933 Let's face it, you probably only just want to knob her 1233 00:58:16,933 --> 00:58:19,600 because she's off around the world. 1234 00:58:19,866 --> 00:58:21,133 - Fuck you. 1235 00:58:21,133 --> 00:58:22,266 - It's true. It's true. 1236 00:58:22,266 --> 00:58:23,733 You don't want somebody leaving 1237 00:58:23,733 --> 00:58:28,000 without having tried out this bloody, blah, sex machine. 1238 00:58:28,733 --> 00:58:30,633 - Yeah, well maybe I should have shagged Jennifer, 1239 00:58:30,633 --> 00:58:32,500 because you obviously weren't doing it right. 1240 00:58:32,500 --> 00:58:33,300 - Prick! 1241 00:58:33,300 --> 00:58:34,500 - [Angus] Ow! 1242 00:58:34,566 --> 00:58:35,566 - [Brady] What are you doing? 1243 00:58:35,566 --> 00:58:36,266 - You fucking.... 1244 00:58:36,266 --> 00:58:37,466 - No, he did it. 1245 00:58:37,466 --> 00:58:38,600 - Who? 1246 00:58:38,600 --> 00:58:39,733 - Luke. 1247 00:58:44,166 --> 00:58:45,700 [laughs] 1248 00:59:00,133 --> 00:59:01,933 [balloon pops] 1249 00:59:08,833 --> 00:59:11,600 [sentimental rock music] 1250 00:59:20,866 --> 00:59:23,266 - Oh, I think there's a hair in mine. 1251 00:59:24,366 --> 00:59:26,033 - It's your mum. 1252 00:59:26,033 --> 00:59:28,200 - [Luke] At some point during the ordeal, 1253 00:59:28,200 --> 00:59:29,600 you have to have 1254 00:59:29,600 --> 00:59:31,300 a kebab pitstop. 1255 00:59:31,300 --> 00:59:33,966 It's absolutely essential to the evening portion, 1256 00:59:33,966 --> 00:59:36,766 and, while many people wait until the very end of the night, 1257 00:59:36,766 --> 00:59:38,933 which is quite frankly ludicrous, 1258 00:59:38,933 --> 00:59:41,533 you're barely going to remember what you've eaten. 1259 00:59:41,533 --> 00:59:43,466 I have mine about half eight, nine o'clock, 1260 00:59:43,466 --> 00:59:47,333 then I can relatively recall what was in it, 1261 00:59:47,633 --> 00:59:50,133 some kind of, you know, generic meat. 1262 00:59:50,266 --> 00:59:51,866 - What the fuck is that? 1263 00:59:51,866 --> 00:59:53,066 - It's your cock. 1264 00:59:53,066 --> 00:59:54,566 [laughs] 1265 00:59:57,433 --> 00:59:59,133 - Oh, Brady. 1266 01:00:01,700 --> 01:00:03,233 - [Luke] Another ritual of the drunk 1267 01:00:03,233 --> 01:00:04,966 is to make phone calls 1268 01:00:04,966 --> 01:00:07,466 to exactly the wrong person. 1269 01:00:07,466 --> 01:00:10,866 For instance, and, this is most offensive, 1270 01:00:10,866 --> 01:00:12,566 the ex. 1271 01:00:12,966 --> 01:00:14,400 It's a bad idea. 1272 01:00:14,400 --> 01:00:16,066 You know it's a bad idea, 1273 01:00:16,066 --> 01:00:17,933 but you have no choice. 1274 01:00:20,266 --> 01:00:21,833 - Dinner is served. 1275 01:00:23,933 --> 01:00:25,333 - Yes, yes, yes. 1276 01:00:34,866 --> 01:00:36,000 - So. 1277 01:00:36,466 --> 01:00:38,266 Come on, truth. 1278 01:00:38,466 --> 01:00:40,766 How many boys have you slept with? 1279 01:00:40,766 --> 01:00:41,800 Truth, remember. 1280 01:00:41,800 --> 01:00:43,100 - I don't want to play anymore. 1281 01:00:43,100 --> 01:00:44,533 - You're such a nun. 1282 01:00:44,533 --> 01:00:46,700 - Well, how many have you slept with? 1283 01:00:46,800 --> 01:00:48,633 - There was Michael. 1284 01:00:48,633 --> 01:00:49,733 [squeaks] 1285 01:00:49,833 --> 01:00:50,800 Jean. 1286 01:00:50,800 --> 01:00:51,933 [grunts] 1287 01:00:51,933 --> 01:00:52,700 Mark. 1288 01:00:52,700 --> 01:00:53,800 - Bingo! 1289 01:00:53,800 --> 01:00:55,033 - Another Mark. 1290 01:00:55,033 --> 01:00:55,766 [grunts] 1291 01:00:55,766 --> 01:00:56,900 Patrace. 1292 01:00:56,900 --> 01:00:57,933 [breathes] 1293 01:00:57,933 --> 01:00:59,366 Billy and Dana. 1294 01:01:00,666 --> 01:01:01,933 [laughs] That was a threesome. 1295 01:01:01,933 --> 01:01:03,066 Another Mark. 1296 01:01:03,066 --> 01:01:04,000 - All right, all right, you old slapper. 1297 01:01:04,000 --> 01:01:05,100 I've heard enough. 1298 01:01:05,100 --> 01:01:07,100 - And, of course, Yogi. 1299 01:01:07,100 --> 01:01:08,566 [Indian music] 1300 01:01:08,566 --> 01:01:10,933 - What're you going to do about him? 1301 01:01:10,933 --> 01:01:12,266 - I'm still waiting. 1302 01:01:12,266 --> 01:01:13,400 - For what? 1303 01:01:13,400 --> 01:01:16,100 - The sign, some divine intervention. 1304 01:01:16,333 --> 01:01:18,566 - Maybe it's not about some higher power. 1305 01:01:18,566 --> 01:01:21,900 Maybe it's about you deciding what's best for you. 1306 01:01:41,700 --> 01:01:43,166 - What happened to your eye? 1307 01:01:43,166 --> 01:01:44,566 - Luke done it. 1308 01:01:44,566 --> 01:01:45,833 - He punched you? 1309 01:01:45,833 --> 01:01:47,066 - It was a drunken accident. 1310 01:01:47,066 --> 01:01:48,166 It was meant to be for Brady. 1311 01:01:48,166 --> 01:01:49,366 - Why, what did you do? 1312 01:01:49,366 --> 01:01:50,333 - Nothing. 1313 01:01:50,333 --> 01:01:51,700 - They had a drunken argument, 1314 01:01:51,700 --> 01:01:54,166 and now the little petulant bitches are sulking. 1315 01:01:54,166 --> 01:01:55,766 - I'm not sulking. 1316 01:01:55,766 --> 01:01:56,966 It's him. 1317 01:01:56,966 --> 01:01:58,900 - You boys are so bloody childish. 1318 01:01:58,900 --> 01:02:01,666 A couple of pints and you want to smack your best mate. 1319 01:02:01,666 --> 01:02:03,100 Why don't you just apologize? 1320 01:02:03,100 --> 01:02:04,200 No harm done. 1321 01:02:04,200 --> 01:02:05,733 - Except for my eye. 1322 01:02:05,733 --> 01:02:07,366 - You in a major [mumbles]? 1323 01:02:07,366 --> 01:02:08,900 - No. 1324 01:02:08,900 --> 01:02:10,600 - Oh, obviously not. 1325 01:02:12,200 --> 01:02:13,666 - I'll get another round then. 1326 01:02:13,666 --> 01:02:14,933 - [Ariel] I'll help. - [Brady] I'll go. 1327 01:02:14,933 --> 01:02:16,766 - I'm already standing. 1328 01:02:17,666 --> 01:02:19,666 - Mine's a G and T, please. 1329 01:02:19,666 --> 01:02:21,433 - Sex on the beach, please. 1330 01:02:22,100 --> 01:02:23,033 Or a pint. 1331 01:02:23,633 --> 01:02:24,900 - Pint. 1332 01:02:32,866 --> 01:02:33,600 - Don't touch me. 1333 01:02:33,600 --> 01:02:34,633 - All right. 1334 01:02:34,633 --> 01:02:35,966 Just thought I'd try. 1335 01:02:36,400 --> 01:02:37,333 I'll tell you what, 1336 01:02:37,333 --> 01:02:38,633 that kebab sobered me right up. 1337 01:02:38,633 --> 01:02:39,633 - [Ariel] It's made your breath stink, 1338 01:02:39,633 --> 01:02:41,033 is what it's done. 1339 01:02:41,033 --> 01:02:43,600 - Oh, well, Ariel, that's the thing with kebabs. 1340 01:02:43,600 --> 01:02:45,666 The taste will last for hours. 1341 01:02:46,300 --> 01:02:48,233 [sing-songs] 1342 01:02:48,233 --> 01:02:51,966 - Oh, that's ... that's rank. 1343 01:02:52,566 --> 01:02:54,366 That's not cooking. 1344 01:03:01,133 --> 01:03:03,066 - So why are you and Luke arguing? 1345 01:03:03,066 --> 01:03:04,966 - Oh, it's nothing, nevermind. 1346 01:03:04,966 --> 01:03:07,466 - Hey, listen, I wanted to talk about us. 1347 01:03:07,466 --> 01:03:08,733 - There's an us? 1348 01:03:08,733 --> 01:03:10,366 - How long have we known each other? 1349 01:03:10,366 --> 01:03:12,133 - A long, long time. 1350 01:03:12,133 --> 01:03:14,800 - So, I mean, don't you think it's time we got together? 1351 01:03:16,233 --> 01:03:17,466 - You mean, you think we should have one night 1352 01:03:17,466 --> 01:03:19,966 to rampant shagging so you can ignore me, 1353 01:03:19,966 --> 01:03:21,966 like you usually do the other girls. 1354 01:03:22,933 --> 01:03:24,833 - I really like you, Fred. 1355 01:03:24,900 --> 01:03:26,933 - What can I get you two? 1356 01:03:27,166 --> 01:03:30,366 - Oh, do you do sex on the beach? 1357 01:03:30,366 --> 01:03:31,800 - No, not in a while. 1358 01:03:31,800 --> 01:03:33,900 It's car parks, mostly, nowadays. 1359 01:03:34,900 --> 01:03:36,200 Are you drunk? 1360 01:03:37,333 --> 01:03:41,066 - Um, uh... two pints of lager, 1361 01:03:41,066 --> 01:03:44,666 a G and T, Guiness, and a cider, please. 1362 01:03:44,666 --> 01:03:46,066 - Coming up. 1363 01:03:48,800 --> 01:03:50,300 - So... 1364 01:03:51,166 --> 01:03:52,566 - So what? 1365 01:03:52,766 --> 01:03:54,200 - I thought you might have something to say 1366 01:03:54,200 --> 01:03:55,833 about you and me? 1367 01:03:57,266 --> 01:03:59,733 - How do I know you're serious? 1368 01:03:59,966 --> 01:04:01,600 - I'll become celibate. 1369 01:04:01,600 --> 01:04:03,666 No sex, nothing until you believe me. 1370 01:04:03,666 --> 01:04:05,733 - Wow, very fucking romantic. 1371 01:04:07,033 --> 01:04:08,600 - You're not like other girls. 1372 01:04:08,600 --> 01:04:09,866 - I know. 1373 01:04:09,966 --> 01:04:11,933 I know, I'm like one of the lads. 1374 01:04:11,933 --> 01:04:14,533 - No, that's not what I meant. 1375 01:04:15,066 --> 01:04:18,633 - Why? What's so special about me? 1376 01:04:20,400 --> 01:04:23,033 - What's special is I care about you. 1377 01:04:23,433 --> 01:04:24,500 - Shit. 1378 01:04:24,500 --> 01:04:25,266 - What? 1379 01:04:25,266 --> 01:04:26,533 - Look who's here. 1380 01:04:31,066 --> 01:04:33,000 - Oh, fucking shit. 1381 01:04:33,600 --> 01:04:36,000 What is Jennifer doing here with that prick? 1382 01:04:42,333 --> 01:04:43,666 - Luke. 1383 01:04:43,866 --> 01:04:45,066 - What? 1384 01:04:46,900 --> 01:04:48,400 - Present for you, there's a little rose. 1385 01:04:48,400 --> 01:04:50,866 - Thank you. That's lovely. 1386 01:04:52,800 --> 01:04:54,766 - Just ignore her. 1387 01:04:58,600 --> 01:05:00,733 - I can't believe you're waving. 1388 01:05:01,333 --> 01:05:02,800 - That bitch. 1389 01:05:03,033 --> 01:05:04,833 [laughs] 1390 01:05:05,300 --> 01:05:05,900 - Oh. 1391 01:05:05,900 --> 01:05:07,433 - Sorry. 1392 01:05:08,133 --> 01:05:09,600 I'm dribbling. 1393 01:05:10,666 --> 01:05:12,500 Just going to the loo. 1394 01:05:12,866 --> 01:05:14,400 - Oh! 1395 01:05:14,566 --> 01:05:15,833 - [Fred] Here we go. 1396 01:05:17,233 --> 01:05:18,633 - Bastard. 1397 01:05:19,600 --> 01:05:20,300 - You spotted him then. 1398 01:05:20,300 --> 01:05:21,133 - He waved. 1399 01:05:21,133 --> 01:05:22,133 - You didn't. 1400 01:05:22,133 --> 01:05:23,333 - [Ariel] He did. 1401 01:05:23,333 --> 01:05:25,566 She smiled to him, and he waved back. 1402 01:05:25,566 --> 01:05:27,000 - You fucking cunt. 1403 01:05:27,000 --> 01:05:28,600 - Oh, Jesus, it was just a wave. 1404 01:05:28,600 --> 01:05:29,933 What was I supposed to do? 1405 01:05:29,933 --> 01:05:31,466 - You could've stuck two fingers up at her. 1406 01:05:31,466 --> 01:05:33,733 - Yeah, I think you're talking about the one finger. 1407 01:05:33,733 --> 01:05:35,833 - [Ariel] I prefer to keep it old school. 1408 01:05:35,833 --> 01:05:37,233 - Can't believe she's got the throat to bring 1409 01:05:37,233 --> 01:05:39,666 Jeri on a date to my pub. 1410 01:05:39,666 --> 01:05:41,166 - On Valentine's Day? 1411 01:05:41,166 --> 01:05:42,766 - She must've known you were here. 1412 01:05:42,766 --> 01:05:44,366 - This tops off my day perfectly. 1413 01:05:44,366 --> 01:05:46,033 Pissed off when I woke up. 1414 01:05:46,033 --> 01:05:47,766 Now I'll go back to bed even more pissed off. 1415 01:05:47,766 --> 01:05:49,200 - No, man, 1416 01:05:49,200 --> 01:05:52,633 you people know nothing about the human condition. 1417 01:05:52,633 --> 01:05:55,033 You called her and hung up, didn't you? 1418 01:05:55,033 --> 01:05:56,766 Didn't you? 1419 01:05:57,000 --> 01:05:58,066 - Maybe. 1420 01:05:58,066 --> 01:06:00,266 - Classic kebab moves. 1421 01:06:00,766 --> 01:06:03,466 A person tries to contact their ex and bottles it. 1422 01:06:03,466 --> 01:06:04,733 She's got your number up, 1423 01:06:04,733 --> 01:06:05,966 and she's thinking, 1424 01:06:05,966 --> 01:06:09,200 "Why on Valentine's Day is he calling me?" 1425 01:06:09,333 --> 01:06:10,833 She knows that you come here, 1426 01:06:10,833 --> 01:06:12,966 ergo she comes to see you. 1427 01:06:13,133 --> 01:06:15,833 Classic humanoid pattern. 1428 01:06:15,966 --> 01:06:17,666 - So why bring a date? 1429 01:06:17,666 --> 01:06:19,100 - Total basic instinct, 1430 01:06:19,100 --> 01:06:20,633 survival of the fittest, 1431 01:06:20,633 --> 01:06:23,866 or the female of the species teasing the male 1432 01:06:23,866 --> 01:06:25,566 like fuck. 1433 01:06:26,200 --> 01:06:27,900 - I don't know bollocks here that he spoke, 1434 01:06:27,900 --> 01:06:29,766 he's just going to have to fuck up her night. 1435 01:06:29,766 --> 01:06:30,733 - Thank you. 1436 01:06:30,733 --> 01:06:31,966 - She's right. 1437 01:06:31,966 --> 01:06:33,366 He needs to up the ante. 1438 01:06:33,366 --> 01:06:35,500 How about a round of vodka shots? 1439 01:06:35,500 --> 01:06:38,100 - Are you sure that's a good idea? 1440 01:06:38,100 --> 01:06:39,700 - I'm fine for Dino. 1441 01:06:40,366 --> 01:06:42,300 - All right, let me start the slash. 1442 01:06:45,033 --> 01:06:46,766 - Nice. 1443 01:06:48,966 --> 01:06:50,966 - So... 1444 01:06:51,966 --> 01:06:55,266 are you two going to sit like Sooty and Sweet all night? 1445 01:06:55,633 --> 01:06:56,666 - I'm all right. 1446 01:06:59,166 --> 01:07:00,833 - What's that sweetie? 1447 01:07:01,966 --> 01:07:03,166 - Yes. 1448 01:07:04,266 --> 01:07:05,033 - Thanks, Matthew. 1449 01:07:05,033 --> 01:07:06,433 - No problems, Lou. 1450 01:07:21,633 --> 01:07:22,833 - We need to talk. 1451 01:07:22,833 --> 01:07:23,766 - This isn't the best time. 1452 01:07:23,766 --> 01:07:25,533 - It's important. 1453 01:07:26,566 --> 01:07:28,600 - We have a problem. 1454 01:07:28,733 --> 01:07:30,566 I'm not happy. 1455 01:07:31,733 --> 01:07:33,633 - Well, I think-- 1456 01:07:33,633 --> 01:07:35,500 - Please let me speak. 1457 01:07:38,666 --> 01:07:41,333 I'm not happy with us, 1458 01:07:41,333 --> 01:07:43,700 with our relationship. 1459 01:07:43,833 --> 01:07:46,033 I thought we had something special, but... 1460 01:07:46,033 --> 01:07:48,466 I don't know if I love you anymore. 1461 01:07:50,200 --> 01:07:52,400 - Oh, right, right. 1462 01:07:52,400 --> 01:07:55,066 Well, if you're sure. 1463 01:07:57,933 --> 01:07:59,333 - I know you don't want to hear it, 1464 01:07:59,333 --> 01:08:02,000 but we can't be together anymore. 1465 01:08:03,033 --> 01:08:06,400 But it can't be over before I give you something. 1466 01:08:08,400 --> 01:08:10,100 [kiss] 1467 01:08:12,733 --> 01:08:13,466 [thud] 1468 01:08:13,466 --> 01:08:14,433 [grunt] 1469 01:08:15,366 --> 01:08:17,333 [harp music] 1470 01:08:25,333 --> 01:08:27,066 - What the hell? 1471 01:08:27,233 --> 01:08:29,033 - Quite the opposite. 1472 01:08:29,366 --> 01:08:30,733 Welcome, Brady. 1473 01:08:30,733 --> 01:08:32,033 - Where am I? 1474 01:08:32,033 --> 01:08:34,166 - You're dead. 1475 01:08:34,166 --> 01:08:35,233 [laughs] 1476 01:08:35,233 --> 01:08:36,466 Just kidding. 1477 01:08:36,466 --> 01:08:38,866 You're here because I wanted a word with you. 1478 01:08:38,866 --> 01:08:40,933 - With me? Why? 1479 01:08:40,933 --> 01:08:45,200 - Look, I know how hot and sexy women can be. 1480 01:08:45,200 --> 01:08:48,733 I created them for Christ's sake, 1481 01:08:49,433 --> 01:08:53,100 but I think it's time to stop bedsurfing. 1482 01:08:54,100 --> 01:08:56,266 - I've messed it up with Fred, haven't I? 1483 01:08:56,266 --> 01:08:58,200 - Do you love her? 1484 01:08:58,200 --> 01:09:00,833 - Oh, absolutely. 1485 01:09:00,933 --> 01:09:02,833 - Then don't give up so easy. 1486 01:09:02,833 --> 01:09:05,200 - Yeah, you're right. 1487 01:09:06,100 --> 01:09:07,733 Hey, can I ask one question? 1488 01:09:07,733 --> 01:09:10,466 - As long as it's not about me and Mary. 1489 01:09:10,766 --> 01:09:12,166 - Nah, forget about it. 1490 01:09:12,166 --> 01:09:14,066 I better get back to Earth and sort my life out. 1491 01:09:14,066 --> 01:09:15,566 - Okay. 1492 01:09:16,166 --> 01:09:20,000 Expecto patronum! 1493 01:09:21,066 --> 01:09:22,500 Just kidding. 1494 01:09:23,766 --> 01:09:25,100 [grunts] 1495 01:09:25,366 --> 01:09:26,600 [groans] 1496 01:09:26,600 --> 01:09:28,200 - You okay, mate? 1497 01:09:28,200 --> 01:09:31,600 - Oh, I must have fainted. 1498 01:09:31,600 --> 01:09:33,200 - Yeah, you did. 1499 01:09:33,200 --> 01:09:35,033 Just after the punch. 1500 01:09:35,033 --> 01:09:36,500 - What punch? 1501 01:09:36,500 --> 01:09:38,900 - Fred saw you kissing Suzy so she lumped you. 1502 01:09:38,900 --> 01:09:40,500 - I wasn't kissing her. 1503 01:09:40,500 --> 01:09:42,266 She kissed me. 1504 01:09:42,266 --> 01:09:44,133 - That's not how she saw it. 1505 01:09:44,133 --> 01:09:45,533 - Don't worry, mate. 1506 01:09:45,533 --> 01:09:49,133 After you went down, Suzy got right and belted. 1507 01:09:52,600 --> 01:09:54,066 - You all right? 1508 01:10:00,800 --> 01:10:03,300 [moans] 1509 01:10:04,966 --> 01:10:07,266 - Touch me, touch me, right here. 1510 01:10:07,700 --> 01:10:09,333 [moans] 1511 01:10:14,233 --> 01:10:16,166 - What? [moans] 1512 01:10:17,800 --> 01:10:19,200 Where's Fred? 1513 01:10:19,200 --> 01:10:20,633 - She ran off. 1514 01:10:21,133 --> 01:10:22,433 - I can't believe it. 1515 01:10:22,433 --> 01:10:24,366 I screwed it up again. 1516 01:10:24,366 --> 01:10:25,566 You were right. 1517 01:10:25,566 --> 01:10:27,100 I've been jumping from girl to girl, 1518 01:10:27,100 --> 01:10:28,933 and now it's come back to bite me in the buttocks. 1519 01:10:28,933 --> 01:10:30,900 - More like punch you in the face. 1520 01:10:30,900 --> 01:10:34,700 - Look, I'm really sorry for what I said to you before. 1521 01:10:34,800 --> 01:10:36,466 Anyway, you were more right than I was. 1522 01:10:36,466 --> 01:10:39,400 I've been in a bad mood since I was dumped. 1523 01:10:39,700 --> 01:10:42,266 - Maybe it's time you sorted it out. 1524 01:10:42,366 --> 01:10:44,133 She's in here for a reason. 1525 01:10:45,033 --> 01:10:47,400 - What are you going to do? 1526 01:10:48,266 --> 01:10:50,600 - I'm going to do as God told me. 1527 01:10:50,600 --> 01:10:52,000 - What? 1528 01:10:52,900 --> 01:10:54,166 - Nothing. 1529 01:10:54,533 --> 01:10:57,866 And Luke... mate. 1530 01:10:58,233 --> 01:10:59,833 - No problem. 1531 01:11:12,966 --> 01:11:14,133 [Ariel sighs] 1532 01:11:32,033 --> 01:11:33,966 - [Ariel] Okay. 1533 01:11:34,800 --> 01:11:36,566 You can stop now. 1534 01:11:39,000 --> 01:11:40,400 - Luke. 1535 01:11:40,400 --> 01:11:43,100 give that prick a punch in the bollocks for me. 1536 01:11:46,733 --> 01:11:48,033 - [Ariel] Good luck. 1537 01:11:50,666 --> 01:11:52,766 And if you mess it up, 1538 01:11:52,766 --> 01:11:55,300 I'll crush your testicles. 1539 01:11:57,966 --> 01:11:59,233 [kisses] 1540 01:12:00,333 --> 01:12:02,033 [laughs] 1541 01:12:05,533 --> 01:12:07,300 - You know what, Luke? 1542 01:12:07,633 --> 01:12:09,766 That was a different side to you, 1543 01:12:11,166 --> 01:12:13,600 your really gay side. 1544 01:12:20,433 --> 01:12:22,466 - And number three for the lady, 1545 01:12:22,466 --> 01:12:24,633 and there we go. 1546 01:12:24,700 --> 01:12:26,266 - Ah, leave the bottles' worth. 1547 01:12:26,266 --> 01:12:27,500 - I'll leave the bottle when you fucking 1548 01:12:27,500 --> 01:12:29,400 pay for it, Dostoevsky. 1549 01:12:29,400 --> 01:12:31,133 - All right, sorry. 1550 01:12:31,800 --> 01:12:33,400 - I think this is it. 1551 01:12:33,400 --> 01:12:34,933 I think she's the one. 1552 01:12:36,233 --> 01:12:38,266 - It's been quite a day. 1553 01:12:38,266 --> 01:12:40,533 - It ain't over yet. 1554 01:12:41,700 --> 01:12:43,900 - I suppose I should just get on with it. 1555 01:12:44,200 --> 01:12:47,600 - Hey, you going to ask her to get back with you? 1556 01:12:47,766 --> 01:12:49,166 [sighs] 1557 01:12:57,033 --> 01:12:58,400 - Jen. 1558 01:12:58,533 --> 01:13:00,700 - Oh, hi Luke. 1559 01:13:01,166 --> 01:13:02,766 - How are things? 1560 01:13:03,400 --> 01:13:05,433 - Fine, you? 1561 01:13:06,466 --> 01:13:08,333 - Pretty good, really. 1562 01:13:10,066 --> 01:13:11,866 - You're probably wondering what I'm doing here. 1563 01:13:11,866 --> 01:13:13,600 - No, no, it's cool. 1564 01:13:13,600 --> 01:13:15,233 It's a free country, isn't it? 1565 01:13:15,233 --> 01:13:17,433 - I got a missed call from you, and... 1566 01:13:18,200 --> 01:13:20,966 I wanted to see you, Luke. 1567 01:13:21,066 --> 01:13:24,600 I miss you, and with Valentine's Day and everything... 1568 01:13:24,833 --> 01:13:27,600 - Why did you want to see me? 1569 01:13:27,600 --> 01:13:29,733 - I thought I wanted to see how you were? 1570 01:13:31,100 --> 01:13:34,566 Fact was, I was kind of hoping you'd be a complete ass. 1571 01:13:35,533 --> 01:13:38,200 I've been thinking about us. 1572 01:13:38,200 --> 01:13:41,133 - Wait, you wanted to see me because you knew 1573 01:13:41,133 --> 01:13:43,100 that I'd be here, and what? 1574 01:13:43,100 --> 01:13:46,066 You thought I'd be some kind of drunken bone and what? 1575 01:13:46,066 --> 01:13:48,200 That I'd beg you to take me back? 1576 01:13:48,200 --> 01:13:52,633 - I just wanted to tell you, I think I still love you. 1577 01:13:53,300 --> 01:13:54,833 [laughs] 1578 01:13:56,066 --> 01:13:57,433 - What's wrong with you, Luke? 1579 01:13:57,433 --> 01:14:00,333 - Nothing. No, no, I'm fine. 1580 01:14:00,400 --> 01:14:01,633 I am fine. 1581 01:14:01,800 --> 01:14:03,300 For the first time, since you dumped me, 1582 01:14:03,300 --> 01:14:04,733 I can see that I'm fine. 1583 01:14:04,733 --> 01:14:05,833 Don't get me wrong, 1584 01:14:05,833 --> 01:14:07,333 I've been through hell, 1585 01:14:07,333 --> 01:14:08,500 but here I am. 1586 01:14:08,500 --> 01:14:09,466 Come out on the other side, 1587 01:14:09,466 --> 01:14:11,066 I've still got my friends. 1588 01:14:11,066 --> 01:14:14,066 And right now, things are looking up. 1589 01:14:17,300 --> 01:14:18,700 - Look me in the eye, 1590 01:14:18,700 --> 01:14:20,933 and tell me you don't love me anymore. 1591 01:14:25,600 --> 01:14:27,433 - I can't do that, Jen. 1592 01:14:27,833 --> 01:14:30,600 But I can't say that I don't hate you, either. 1593 01:14:30,600 --> 01:14:32,433 You know, you never really get to know somebody 1594 01:14:32,433 --> 01:14:33,866 until they dump you, 1595 01:14:33,866 --> 01:14:34,900 and right now... 1596 01:14:34,900 --> 01:14:36,733 Right now I can see you 1597 01:14:36,733 --> 01:14:39,233 for who you really are. 1598 01:14:39,533 --> 01:14:41,666 - Well, I see who you are, Luke. 1599 01:14:41,666 --> 01:14:43,466 A failure. 1600 01:14:43,466 --> 01:14:45,100 When we met, I had hopes for you, 1601 01:14:45,100 --> 01:14:47,800 but [grunts] you were just a loser. 1602 01:14:47,800 --> 01:14:49,266 a failure, 1603 01:14:49,266 --> 01:14:51,966 a small, no, tiny dick, 1604 01:14:51,966 --> 01:14:54,300 hairy-shouldered fucking loser, 1605 01:14:54,300 --> 01:14:55,600 momma's boy. 1606 01:14:56,800 --> 01:14:59,166 - Don't you ever call me a momma's boy. 1607 01:14:59,166 --> 01:15:00,533 - I tried, Luke. 1608 01:15:00,533 --> 01:15:03,633 I tried to mold you into a proper person, 1609 01:15:03,633 --> 01:15:05,033 but no. 1610 01:15:05,100 --> 01:15:07,266 You just wanted to hang out with your stupid mates. 1611 01:15:07,266 --> 01:15:09,133 In fact, I kind of thought you and Brady 1612 01:15:09,133 --> 01:15:10,433 might be gay, for a while. 1613 01:15:10,433 --> 01:15:12,066 - Gay? Yeah, yeah? 1614 01:15:12,066 --> 01:15:14,100 Well, I wish I was gay 1615 01:15:14,100 --> 01:15:15,866 because then I'd be off, wouldn't I? 1616 01:15:15,866 --> 01:15:18,300 I'd be around the world sucking men's penii 1617 01:15:18,300 --> 01:15:21,233 instead of being here listening to bloody you. 1618 01:15:21,566 --> 01:15:22,666 [scoffs] 1619 01:15:23,533 --> 01:15:25,100 - Fuck you, Jen. 1620 01:15:27,566 --> 01:15:29,500 And fuck you, too. 1621 01:15:29,500 --> 01:15:30,133 [thud] 1622 01:15:30,133 --> 01:15:31,333 [grunts] 1623 01:15:32,666 --> 01:15:33,966 [growls] 1624 01:15:36,866 --> 01:15:40,033 You know, Jen, you really are a bitch. 1625 01:15:40,866 --> 01:15:42,266 [grunts] 1626 01:15:43,466 --> 01:15:46,600 [guitar music] 1627 01:15:53,400 --> 01:15:55,200 [telephone ringing] 1628 01:16:08,700 --> 01:16:09,700 - Fuck off, Brady. 1629 01:16:09,700 --> 01:16:10,766 I don't want to speak to you. 1630 01:16:10,766 --> 01:16:11,566 - Where are you? 1631 01:16:11,566 --> 01:16:12,800 I need to see you. 1632 01:16:12,800 --> 01:16:13,900 - Why don't you fuck off back to your tart? 1633 01:16:13,900 --> 01:16:15,633 - Fred, it wasn't like that. 1634 01:16:15,933 --> 01:16:16,933 - I saw you kiss her. 1635 01:16:16,933 --> 01:16:18,900 - It's not like that. 1636 01:16:18,900 --> 01:16:20,400 - We're done talking. - [Brady] Wait. 1637 01:16:20,866 --> 01:16:25,866 - Fred, you annoy me more than anyone else I've ever known. 1638 01:16:26,700 --> 01:16:29,300 You smell of fish all the time. 1639 01:16:29,600 --> 01:16:31,833 You bite your nails and spit it on the floor. 1640 01:16:31,833 --> 01:16:33,433 You never wash the bath out, 1641 01:16:33,433 --> 01:16:34,866 and you're always late. 1642 01:16:34,866 --> 01:16:36,600 - How come you're never late, Mr. Fucking Perfect? 1643 01:16:36,600 --> 01:16:37,966 - You're quick to throw a punch, 1644 01:16:37,966 --> 01:16:40,300 but you run away from anything that really matters 1645 01:16:40,300 --> 01:16:41,733 because you're scared. 1646 01:16:41,733 --> 01:16:42,833 You are scared. 1647 01:16:42,833 --> 01:16:43,600 - Of what? 1648 01:16:43,600 --> 01:16:45,466 - Of being yourself, 1649 01:16:45,466 --> 01:16:46,933 but I know you, Fred. 1650 01:16:46,933 --> 01:16:49,033 I know when you're with the lads and you order a beer, 1651 01:16:49,033 --> 01:16:51,300 you'd really rather have a Merlot. 1652 01:16:51,300 --> 01:16:53,033 I know when you say you're going for slushie, 1653 01:16:53,033 --> 01:16:54,400 you're going to top up your lipstick, 1654 01:16:54,400 --> 01:16:56,000 and I know you love me. 1655 01:16:56,500 --> 01:16:57,433 - Fuck you. 1656 01:16:57,433 --> 01:16:58,766 - Oh, and by the way, the dress? 1657 01:16:58,766 --> 01:16:59,766 It didn't work, 1658 01:16:59,766 --> 01:17:01,266 but not because of the dress, 1659 01:17:01,266 --> 01:17:03,100 because it's just not you. 1660 01:17:03,100 --> 01:17:04,900 - You're such a twat. 1661 01:17:04,900 --> 01:17:06,300 You say you know me, 1662 01:17:06,300 --> 01:17:07,900 but I know you, too. 1663 01:17:07,900 --> 01:17:09,333 I know that you're in a dead-end job 1664 01:17:09,333 --> 01:17:11,666 because you are shit scared of failing. 1665 01:17:11,666 --> 01:17:13,533 You go fucking your way around town, 1666 01:17:13,533 --> 01:17:15,833 chasing anything with tits and a heartbeat 1667 01:17:15,833 --> 01:17:18,033 and you expect me to fall to my knees 1668 01:17:18,033 --> 01:17:20,333 and bounce when you give me a turn. 1669 01:17:20,466 --> 01:17:23,033 It drives me insane that we live in the same house, 1670 01:17:23,033 --> 01:17:26,200 and you parade that herd of sluts under my nose. 1671 01:17:26,500 --> 01:17:28,333 You're a selfish bastard, 1672 01:17:28,333 --> 01:17:30,166 and I cannot wait to get on a boat 1673 01:17:30,166 --> 01:17:31,466 and sail the fuck away. 1674 01:17:31,466 --> 01:17:32,600 - You know what, Fred? 1675 01:17:32,600 --> 01:17:33,366 - What? 1676 01:17:33,366 --> 01:17:34,100 - You know what? 1677 01:17:34,100 --> 01:17:34,766 - What? 1678 01:17:34,766 --> 01:17:35,966 - You're right. 1679 01:17:35,966 --> 01:17:37,700 We are done talking. 1680 01:17:42,866 --> 01:17:45,700 [sweet piano music] 1681 01:17:57,300 --> 01:18:01,066 - If you hurt me, I will use your balls as shark bait. 1682 01:18:10,533 --> 01:18:12,566 - Time, gentlemen, please. 1683 01:18:12,566 --> 01:18:14,566 Last orders at the bar. 1684 01:18:18,733 --> 01:18:20,233 [groans] 1685 01:18:20,633 --> 01:18:23,333 - You know, Ariel. 1686 01:18:23,533 --> 01:18:25,400 I never really thought that 1687 01:18:25,400 --> 01:18:28,833 punching someone really, actually, quite... 1688 01:18:29,166 --> 01:18:30,733 hurt so much. 1689 01:18:30,900 --> 01:18:32,766 - Well, you did very well. 1690 01:18:32,766 --> 01:18:34,233 His fists looked very sore, 1691 01:18:34,233 --> 01:18:36,166 so in a way, you won the fight. 1692 01:18:39,066 --> 01:18:41,100 Oh, your breath stinks. 1693 01:18:47,300 --> 01:18:49,033 - Where's Suzy? 1694 01:18:49,033 --> 01:18:51,800 - We broke up. 1695 01:18:53,166 --> 01:18:54,166 - What? 1696 01:18:54,166 --> 01:18:55,466 She left me for another man. 1697 01:18:56,866 --> 01:18:58,366 - She doesn't mess around. 1698 01:18:58,366 --> 01:18:59,433 - No. 1699 01:19:00,300 --> 01:19:01,333 - I thought she was the one. 1700 01:19:01,333 --> 01:19:03,433 - Yeah, don't worry, mate. 1701 01:19:04,166 --> 01:19:07,000 There is someone out there for every one of us. 1702 01:19:07,000 --> 01:19:08,066 Not me. 1703 01:19:08,066 --> 01:19:09,000 - Come on, you lot. 1704 01:19:09,000 --> 01:19:10,333 I've got a car park to get to. 1705 01:19:10,333 --> 01:19:11,266 - Up we go. 1706 01:19:11,266 --> 01:19:13,233 Come on, fine time. 1707 01:19:13,233 --> 01:19:14,766 Leave it. 1708 01:19:14,766 --> 01:19:16,200 [mumbles] 1709 01:19:17,166 --> 01:19:17,800 - What? 1710 01:19:17,800 --> 01:19:18,933 - Come on. 1711 01:19:18,933 --> 01:19:20,266 - Checkmate. 1712 01:19:22,900 --> 01:19:25,466 - You won't know what's hit you later, darling. 1713 01:19:35,566 --> 01:19:36,933 - Coming back for a night cap? 1714 01:19:36,933 --> 01:19:38,533 - Night cap? Come on. 1715 01:19:38,533 --> 01:19:39,700 We can do whatever we want. 1716 01:19:39,700 --> 01:19:40,866 We're free spirits. 1717 01:19:40,866 --> 01:19:43,200 We can throw beer mats at dogs, or 1718 01:19:43,200 --> 01:19:45,300 feed back some [mumbles]. 1719 01:19:45,633 --> 01:19:47,733 - How about just a drink, Angus? 1720 01:19:47,733 --> 01:19:49,433 - Look, you guys go and do... 1721 01:19:49,433 --> 01:19:51,400 whichever one of those you want. 1722 01:19:51,400 --> 01:19:53,866 I'm going to go home and write my book. 1723 01:19:53,866 --> 01:19:55,500 I'm feeling inspired. 1724 01:19:57,300 --> 01:19:58,033 - Good night, then. 1725 01:19:58,033 --> 01:19:59,200 - Good night. 1726 01:20:01,033 --> 01:20:02,233 - Good night. 1727 01:20:09,200 --> 01:20:10,700 [sighs] 1728 01:20:15,066 --> 01:20:19,066 Life, it's a series of endings and new beginnings, 1729 01:20:19,233 --> 01:20:20,366 and every once in a while, 1730 01:20:20,366 --> 01:20:22,866 one pops up when you least expect it, 1731 01:20:22,866 --> 01:20:25,333 which makes it all the more exciting, I guess. 1732 01:20:32,600 --> 01:20:33,766 As for my friends, 1733 01:20:33,766 --> 01:20:34,800 they'll wake up tomorrow 1734 01:20:34,800 --> 01:20:36,233 probably with a hangover. 1735 01:20:36,233 --> 01:20:37,566 And for a couple of them, 1736 01:20:37,566 --> 01:20:39,233 things will be different. 1737 01:20:39,666 --> 01:20:41,033 - [Angus] Yah! 1738 01:20:41,166 --> 01:20:42,533 - [Brady] Angus! 1739 01:20:44,366 --> 01:20:46,133 - [Fred] Fuck off, Angus. 1740 01:20:46,533 --> 01:20:48,400 - [Luke] But hopefully, 1741 01:20:48,400 --> 01:20:50,300 not too much. 1742 01:20:51,133 --> 01:20:53,366 [triumphant music] 1743 01:21:26,833 --> 01:21:28,633 ♪ I'm wasted 1744 01:21:28,633 --> 01:21:32,866 ♪ I'm so bloody wasted 1745 01:21:33,300 --> 01:21:35,266 ♪ I cannot stand up much 1746 01:21:35,266 --> 01:21:37,733 ♪ Booze tasted 1747 01:21:37,800 --> 01:21:39,733 ♪ My home supply gone 1748 01:21:39,733 --> 01:21:42,500 ♪ Nothing wasted 1749 01:21:42,500 --> 01:21:44,366 ♪ Except for me 1750 01:21:44,366 --> 01:21:46,900 ♪ Cause I'm wasted 1751 01:21:46,900 --> 01:21:51,066 ♪ I'm so terribly wasted 1752 01:21:51,666 --> 01:21:53,366 ♪ I'm so ugly 1753 01:21:53,366 --> 01:21:56,000 ♪ Drink's my face lift 1754 01:21:56,133 --> 01:21:58,100 ♪ It makes me carefree 1755 01:21:58,100 --> 01:22:00,533 ♪ Of my stresses 1756 01:22:00,533 --> 01:22:02,400 ♪ Of living with me 1757 01:22:02,400 --> 01:22:05,066 ♪ So I'm wasted 1758 01:22:05,066 --> 01:22:09,266 ♪ I'm, oh, sophisticated 1759 01:22:10,166 --> 01:22:11,566 ♪ I'm getting drunk 1760 01:22:11,566 --> 01:22:14,300 ♪ Never pasted 1761 01:22:14,300 --> 01:22:16,833 ♪ How low I have sunk 1762 01:22:16,833 --> 01:22:18,900 ♪ The girl at the bar 1763 01:22:18,900 --> 01:22:21,500 ♪ She said that I stunk 1764 01:22:25,466 --> 01:22:27,866 ♪ I'm wasted 1765 01:22:27,866 --> 01:22:29,600 ♪ I'm rolling around 1766 01:22:29,600 --> 01:22:32,333 ♪ On the dance floor 1767 01:22:32,333 --> 01:22:34,400 ♪ I'm searching for love 1768 01:22:34,400 --> 01:22:36,866 ♪ But I found me a whore 1769 01:22:36,866 --> 01:22:40,133 ♪ But I'll never see you again 1770 01:22:40,733 --> 01:22:43,633 ♪ Da da duh-duh bye 1771 01:22:43,866 --> 01:22:45,966 ♪ I'm wasted 1772 01:22:45,966 --> 01:22:48,000 ♪ I'm rolling around 1773 01:22:48,000 --> 01:22:50,400 ♪ Like a madman 1774 01:22:50,400 --> 01:22:52,600 ♪ I'm gonna be crowned 1775 01:22:52,600 --> 01:22:55,300 ♪ With a bar band 1776 01:22:55,300 --> 01:22:57,033 ♪ The bouncers tell me 1777 01:22:57,033 --> 01:22:59,700 ♪ Rolling around 1778 01:22:59,700 --> 01:23:02,833 ♪ With hands away 1779 01:23:06,500 --> 01:23:08,933 ♪ I'm a failure 1780 01:23:08,933 --> 01:23:11,033 ♪ I'm such a disgrace 1781 01:23:11,033 --> 01:23:13,300 ♪ I'm talking to you 1782 01:23:13,300 --> 01:23:15,400 ♪ Smashed out of my face 1783 01:23:15,400 --> 01:23:17,900 ♪ I'm a failure 1784 01:23:17,900 --> 01:23:20,500 ♪ I'm such a buffoon 1785 01:23:20,500 --> 01:23:22,533 ♪ Time at the bar 1786 01:23:22,533 --> 01:23:25,200 ♪ God come too soon 1787 01:23:29,466 --> 01:23:31,600 ♪ I'm wasted 1788 01:23:31,600 --> 01:23:34,233 ♪ This cold sweat is making me 1789 01:23:34,233 --> 01:23:36,100 ♪ Feel sick 1790 01:23:36,100 --> 01:23:38,166 ♪ My vision is blurred 1791 01:23:38,166 --> 01:23:40,766 ♪ I'm a fried prick 1792 01:23:40,766 --> 01:23:44,200 ♪ But I'll never see you again 1793 01:23:44,200 --> 01:23:47,300 ♪ Dah bah duh-duh bye 1794 01:23:47,500 --> 01:23:49,800 ♪ I'm wasted 1795 01:23:49,800 --> 01:23:51,700 ♪ I'm rolling around 1796 01:23:51,700 --> 01:23:54,066 ♪ Like a madman 1797 01:23:54,066 --> 01:23:56,300 ♪ I'm gonna be crowned 1798 01:23:56,300 --> 01:23:58,833 ♪ With a bar band 1799 01:23:58,833 --> 01:24:00,833 ♪ The bouncers tell me 1800 01:24:00,833 --> 01:24:03,333 ♪ I'm rolling around 1801 01:24:03,333 --> 01:24:06,500 ♪ With hands away 1802 01:24:10,800 --> 01:24:12,866 ♪ Oh, Lord 1803 01:24:12,866 --> 01:24:15,066 ♪ I lay down here 1804 01:24:15,066 --> 01:24:17,300 ♪ To die 1805 01:24:19,400 --> 01:24:21,600 ♪ I wonder 1806 01:24:21,600 --> 01:24:25,700 ♪ If anyone will cry 1807 01:24:28,500 --> 01:24:30,866 ♪ Oh, Lord 1808 01:24:30,866 --> 01:24:33,133 ♪ Please don't let 1809 01:24:33,133 --> 01:24:36,000 ♪ There be pain 1810 01:24:37,400 --> 01:24:39,800 ♪ Cause happy 1811 01:24:39,800 --> 01:24:44,100 ♪ Now is my name 1812 01:24:45,433 --> 01:24:46,566 ♪ That's because 1813 01:24:46,566 --> 01:24:48,866 ♪ I'm wasted 1814 01:24:48,866 --> 01:24:51,033 ♪ I'm wasted 1815 01:24:51,033 --> 01:24:53,600 ♪ I'm wasted 1816 01:24:53,600 --> 01:24:55,600 ♪ I'm wasted 1817 01:24:55,600 --> 01:24:57,966 ♪ I'm wasted 1818 01:24:57,966 --> 01:25:00,200 ♪ I'm wasted 1819 01:25:00,200 --> 01:25:02,500 ♪ Oh, I'm wasted 1820 01:25:02,500 --> 01:25:04,700 ♪ I'm wasted 1821 01:25:04,700 --> 01:25:07,000 ♪ I'm wasted 1822 01:25:07,833 --> 01:25:09,633 ♪ I'm wasted 1823 01:25:11,900 --> 01:25:14,100 ♪ I'm so happy 1824 01:25:14,100 --> 01:25:17,800 ♪ I'm wasted 1825 01:25:18,900 --> 01:25:21,266 ♪ Wasted 1826 01:25:23,000 --> 01:25:25,766 ♪ I'm a drunk now 113334

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