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Narrator: The Pentagon,
Washington, DC,
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hean' and nerve center
of our national defense.
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Swamped by the gigantic task
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00:01:25,890 --> 00:01:29,470
of classifying, assigning and
recalling thousands of soldiers,
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00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:31,850
man has turned to the machine.
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Take the process
of recalling reserve officers.
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Department of the army
classification cards
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for several hundred
military personnel
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may be placed
in the classification machine,
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and in the space
of a few seconds
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the person best suited for a
specific assignment will be selected.
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Once the officer is selected,
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the recall procedure
is swift and unerring.
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00:02:05,180 --> 00:02:06,560
Oh, uh...
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00:02:06,770 --> 00:02:08,080
Tommy, you got
anything there for me?
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Yeah. Here's a telegram,
Mr. Stirling.
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00:02:09,890 --> 00:02:10,890
Telegram?
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00:02:11,220 --> 00:02:12,450
I hope there's nothing
wrong with aunt Ethel.
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00:02:12,470 --> 00:02:13,530
She's not feeling very well.
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00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:14,640
Yeah?
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Oh, good!
It's not from aunt Ethel.
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It's from Washington. DC!
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Gee, who do you know
in Washington?
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00:02:19,100 --> 00:02:21,350
Oh, connections, connections.
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00:02:22,470 --> 00:02:23,720
Well...
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00:02:23,890 --> 00:02:25,850
Hey, I won't go! I won't go!
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Bad news, Mr. Stirling?
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I... I'm a retread!
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00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:29,600
You're a what?
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00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:32,890
A retread! The army,
they're calling me back in the army.
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00:02:32,970 --> 00:02:34,390
Gee! Are things that bad?
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Yeah, I...
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Well, they can't do this to me!
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They can't do this to me!
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If they want me, they're gonna have
to come and get me, that's all!
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00:02:40,220 --> 00:02:43,100
They're gonna have to come and get me...
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00:02:48,850 --> 00:02:50,390
I... no, I won't go!
You wait and see!
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You... they won't...
They won't take me! Ha!
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You wait and see. I won't go!
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Hey, Francis! Francis!
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It... it's me! Francis! Francis!
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Hey, Francis!
Hey, Francis, it's me!
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It's me, petey!
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Uh... hey, wait, wait!
Don't... don't go away!
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Wait! Wait!
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00:04:12,060 --> 00:04:13,600
Francis, I...
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00:04:13,770 --> 00:04:14,770
Well, I'll be darned!
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I could've sworn
you were Francis!
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00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:18,060
Why, you're not even a mule!
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00:04:18,140 --> 00:04:19,770
Do you always talk to horses?
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Huh? Oh, no, sir,
just the mules.
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My bags! My bags! Hey, wait!
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Wait! Help me to stop it!
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00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:36,060
I... I beg your pardon, sir.
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I really, I...
I'm terribly sorry, sir.
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00:04:38,060 --> 00:04:39,720
I had no idea that you...
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That... no, really.
Really, sir. I...
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00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:44,930
Why, you're not a sir.
You're a lady.
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00:04:45,020 --> 00:04:46,020
Fortunately for you.
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00:04:46,100 --> 00:04:47,720
I... I mean, you're a wac.
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Oh, well... well, anyway,
I beg your pardon, madam.
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00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:50,970
Uh, young lady, uh, captain...
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00:04:51,060 --> 00:04:53,310
All right, lieutenant,
you got your laugh.
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00:04:53,390 --> 00:04:54,520
Uh, but, no, really, I...
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00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:58,810
That's the prettiest soldier
I've ever seen.
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Conductor: Board!
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My bag! Wait.
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00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:13,640
Porter! Porter! Uh...
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00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:28,310
Oh!
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00:05:28,430 --> 00:05:30,310
Oh! Oh, it's you again!
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00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:31,850
And your aim is getting better.
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00:05:31,890 --> 00:05:33,680
Oh, thank you!
I mean, no. No, no.
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00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:34,680
Well, what I mean is,
well, you see,
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00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:36,770
the door was closed, I had
to get my bag off somehow.
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00:05:36,850 --> 00:05:37,890
On my head?
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00:05:37,970 --> 00:05:39,680
Well, I didn't know it was your head.
Besides, I...
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00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:41,530
Hey, wait a minute! Hey,
stop the train, will you?
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00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:42,680
Wait a second!
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00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:46,640
Oh!
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00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,470
Oh.
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00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:49,680
I'm... I'm very
sorry, madam. I...
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00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:50,680
Are you all right, captain?
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00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:51,680
Oh!
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00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:54,310
Oh, fine! Just fine!
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00:05:54,430 --> 00:05:55,640
Now, really, just...
Just an accident!
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00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:57,640
Really, I... i'm
terribly sorry, madam.
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00:05:57,640 --> 00:05:58,680
I mean, young... Captain,
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00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:00,220
I'm really...
I'm very sorry. I...
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00:06:00,310 --> 00:06:01,310
Oh!
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00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:03,640
Now, really, I... at
ease, sergeant, at ease.
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00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:05,680
Okay, lieutenant. Okay.
I saw the whole thing.
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00:06:05,770 --> 00:06:07,060
Well, then you know
it was an accident.
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00:06:07,060 --> 00:06:10,810
Sure, but you gotta leave the girl
some pride, lieutenant, some pride.
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00:06:10,890 --> 00:06:13,240
Corporal McDonald will take care
of your transportation, lieutenant.
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00:06:13,270 --> 00:06:14,700
Well, thank you. Oh, uh,
my luggage, though. I got...
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00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:18,430
Oh, we'll get it, if that wac
captain hasn't chewed it up.
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00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:21,900
You're the prettiest soldier
I've ever seen.
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00:06:22,180 --> 00:06:23,180
Oh!
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Ahem!
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00:06:37,060 --> 00:06:38,180
Ahem!
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00:06:41,060 --> 00:06:42,060
Just a minute, ma'am.
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00:06:46,470 --> 00:06:48,310
Uh, I was told I could
get transportation to...
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00:06:48,350 --> 00:06:51,600
Well, now, please, don't crowd in.
The lady's first.
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00:06:56,430 --> 00:06:57,600
What happened to her?
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00:06:57,600 --> 00:06:59,560
Where'd that wac go? What wac?
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00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:01,600
Look, I'm lieutenant Peter stirling.
Do you mind?
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00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:03,060
Yes, sir. Here you
are, lieutenant.
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00:07:03,140 --> 00:07:04,720
All in one piece.
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00:07:05,060 --> 00:07:07,560
He, uh, wants transportation.
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00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:08,800
Kreuger: Well, give it to him.
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00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:18,140
Lieutenant, give these to the
Jeep driver behind the station.
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00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:19,720
He'll take you to your outfit.
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00:07:19,810 --> 00:07:21,270
Thank you.
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00:07:24,060 --> 00:07:25,930
I thought I'd seen everything.
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00:07:26,020 --> 00:07:27,720
Papers seem to be in order.
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Washington sent him.
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George or Martha?
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Being transferred in.
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00:08:02,310 --> 00:08:03,390
Peter: "Off limits."
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00:08:03,810 --> 00:08:06,060
Must be a highly
secret assignment.
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00:08:06,140 --> 00:08:07,520
Sure must be!
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00:08:08,140 --> 00:08:09,560
All right, sir.
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00:08:27,430 --> 00:08:28,520
This is it, lieutenant.
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00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:29,680
Thank you very much.
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00:08:29,770 --> 00:08:31,520
I wonder what kind
of work it is.
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00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:33,520
It shouldn't be hard to take.
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00:08:53,020 --> 00:08:56,430
Hmm, that's quite
a large female personnel.
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00:08:56,470 --> 00:08:58,890
Small ones, too. All sizes.
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00:09:01,470 --> 00:09:03,470
This organization, is it, uh...
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00:09:03,470 --> 00:09:05,220
Oh, no, couldn't be.
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00:09:05,310 --> 00:09:06,700
Is something bothering
you, lieutenant?
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00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:08,520
Huh? Well it looks
like a wac area.
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00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:09,970
It should. It is.
134
00:09:10,270 --> 00:09:11,680
Oh, is that so?
135
00:09:12,430 --> 00:09:14,310
The wacs! Me in the wacs!
136
00:09:14,470 --> 00:09:16,060
Now, what's...
What's going on here?
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00:09:16,140 --> 00:09:18,430
Now you wait here!
I'm gonna find...
138
00:09:24,430 --> 00:09:27,020
Good afternoon, lieutenant.
Sightseeing?
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00:09:27,140 --> 00:09:28,270
I would like some information.
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00:09:28,270 --> 00:09:30,220
My name is lieutenant stirling.
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00:09:30,310 --> 00:09:31,430
What?
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For a minute there you had me.
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00:09:35,850 --> 00:09:37,930
We were expecting
someone by that name.
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A camouflage expert.
145
00:09:39,430 --> 00:09:40,520
Well, my name is stirling,
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but, uh, I don't know
anything about camouflage.
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00:09:42,930 --> 00:09:45,680
Of course, it's not you. You're
lieutenant Peter stirling.
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00:09:45,770 --> 00:09:46,770
Yes, that's right.
149
00:09:46,850 --> 00:09:48,770
We were expecting
a bunny stirling,
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00:09:48,850 --> 00:09:50,430
who is a camouflage expert.
151
00:09:50,430 --> 00:09:51,430
Oh, I see.
152
00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:54,470
May I talk to your
commanding officer, please?
153
00:10:00,470 --> 00:10:01,470
Officer: Yes?
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00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:03,680
Lieutenant stirling has arrived.
155
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:06,520
Oh, wonderful! I'll be
with her in a minute.
156
00:10:06,770 --> 00:10:07,810
"Her"?
157
00:10:07,890 --> 00:10:10,060
I told you we were expecting
a lieutenant stirling.
158
00:10:10,140 --> 00:10:11,890
Yeah, but not me, you weren't!
159
00:10:11,970 --> 00:10:13,640
Welcome to the wac.
160
00:10:22,470 --> 00:10:23,770
Anything wrong?
161
00:10:23,850 --> 00:10:25,370
Well, there seems
to be a mistake, major.
162
00:10:25,390 --> 00:10:26,390
Mistake? What do you mean?
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00:10:26,390 --> 00:10:28,310
Did the new officer report in?
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00:10:28,390 --> 00:10:29,640
That's her.
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00:10:29,890 --> 00:10:30,930
Him.
166
00:10:30,970 --> 00:10:32,060
He?
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00:10:32,310 --> 00:10:33,390
He's not a she!
168
00:10:34,270 --> 00:10:36,680
Oh. Good afternoon, major.
169
00:10:37,390 --> 00:10:39,160
Would you mind stepping
into my office, lieutenant?
170
00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:40,560
What's going on, captain?
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00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,390
I was about to ask
that same question.
172
00:10:42,390 --> 00:10:44,060
He's your retread,
major Simpson.
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00:10:44,140 --> 00:10:45,140
He?
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00:10:45,220 --> 00:10:46,930
Lieutenant stirling.
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00:10:49,970 --> 00:10:51,520
"Peter stirling."
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00:10:52,350 --> 00:10:55,350
Now I understand why our
retread wasn't on that train.
177
00:10:55,350 --> 00:10:56,970
A terrible mistake
has been made.
178
00:10:57,100 --> 00:10:58,970
They sent us a... a man?
179
00:10:59,350 --> 00:11:02,430
Good heavens, I certainly
stipulated I wanted a wac officer!
180
00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:05,220
I guess the words "overseas
experience" confused them.
181
00:11:05,310 --> 00:11:06,350
Make out a request for transfer
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00:11:06,350 --> 00:11:07,890
and get him out of this area.
183
00:11:07,970 --> 00:11:08,970
Check post headquarters.
184
00:11:09,100 --> 00:11:10,350
They can put him up
until we get rid of him.
185
00:11:10,350 --> 00:11:11,770
Yes, major.
186
00:11:18,180 --> 00:11:19,350
Well, lieutenant.
187
00:11:19,350 --> 00:11:21,140
How does it feel to be a wac?
188
00:11:21,220 --> 00:11:23,350
Now just a minute, this...
This is a mistake!
189
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:24,350
Uh, isn't it?
190
00:11:24,430 --> 00:11:26,850
I'm afraid you don't quite
fit our physical standard.
191
00:11:26,970 --> 00:11:29,640
Well, naturally not.
A man in the wacs.
192
00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:30,720
What do you mean by that?
193
00:11:30,810 --> 00:11:33,310
Uh, I just meant it's funny, that's all.
The wacs.
194
00:11:33,390 --> 00:11:35,100
If there's anything
funny about it,
195
00:11:35,180 --> 00:11:36,640
it's some of you men
who make it so.
196
00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:37,810
Despite your amusement,
197
00:11:37,890 --> 00:11:39,390
we prefer to think
of women in uniform
198
00:11:39,470 --> 00:11:41,310
as a serious business.
Yeah, but, I didn't mean...
199
00:11:41,310 --> 00:11:43,680
Your masculine ego
refuses to admit that...
200
00:11:43,770 --> 00:11:45,330
That the women's army corps
can serve any place
201
00:11:45,350 --> 00:11:47,560
but in kitchens or for clerical work!
Isn't that so?
202
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:50,060
I didn't say that.
That's what you meant!
203
00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:53,180
Lieutenant stirling.
204
00:11:54,310 --> 00:11:56,970
For the moment, you've
been assigned to us.
205
00:11:57,220 --> 00:11:58,220
Thinking it over,
206
00:11:58,310 --> 00:12:01,390
it might be very nice to have
a man around the company.
207
00:12:01,560 --> 00:12:02,560
Yeah, well...
208
00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:05,310
Yes, yes, to help us
helpless women.
209
00:12:05,680 --> 00:12:07,220
As a hardened combat vet,
210
00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:08,990
you'll no doubt put us
poor women to shame,
211
00:12:09,060 --> 00:12:11,810
but, uh, we'll try
to keep up with you.
212
00:12:12,270 --> 00:12:14,270
Now, now, now, really, sir.
I, uh, madam.
213
00:12:14,350 --> 00:12:16,720
I, no, captain, I think...
I think the wacs are wonderful.
214
00:12:16,810 --> 00:12:19,020
They're... they're just
wonderful in their place.
215
00:12:20,270 --> 00:12:21,350
In our place!
216
00:12:21,430 --> 00:12:23,070
Yes, in your place,
I think you're just...
217
00:12:24,430 --> 00:12:25,810
Yes, corporal hilstrom?
218
00:12:25,890 --> 00:12:27,310
Post billets
are all filled, ma'am.
219
00:12:27,390 --> 00:12:29,220
Well, guest bungalow six
is unoccupied.
220
00:12:29,270 --> 00:12:30,770
You can put him in there.
221
00:12:30,850 --> 00:12:32,490
Uh-oh. Uh-oh, what
does she mean, "uh-oh"?
222
00:12:32,560 --> 00:12:33,890
Is anything wrong?
223
00:12:33,970 --> 00:12:35,850
No, ma'am, not yet.
224
00:12:36,560 --> 00:12:38,270
But it's a start.
225
00:12:39,390 --> 00:12:41,470
What did she mean?
226
00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:43,430
Need I explain? Uh-huh.
227
00:12:43,970 --> 00:12:45,620
Well, lieutenant, in the
course of your duties with us,
228
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:48,060
you'll be in contact with
the women of this battalion.
229
00:12:48,270 --> 00:12:49,770
You will avoid any incident.
230
00:12:49,850 --> 00:12:51,060
Uh, incident?
231
00:12:51,180 --> 00:12:53,220
Oh, good heavens, lieutenant,
you had combat in Burma.
232
00:12:53,220 --> 00:12:55,100
Weren't there any
Burmese girls there?
233
00:12:55,180 --> 00:12:57,140
Oh, yes, yes. They
used to sell us things.
234
00:12:57,220 --> 00:12:58,520
I can imagine. Yeah, uh-huh.
235
00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:00,100
I used to take some
of them home with me.
236
00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:01,140
You did? Oh, yes.
237
00:13:01,220 --> 00:13:02,220
The cutest little wood carvings.
238
00:13:02,230 --> 00:13:03,600
You know, in those little...
Little monkeys that...
239
00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:05,060
You may go now, lieutenant.
240
00:13:05,140 --> 00:13:06,310
Oh, thank you very much.
241
00:13:06,390 --> 00:13:08,020
Oh, uh, where?
242
00:13:08,390 --> 00:13:10,930
You will be assigned the
duties of a wac officer.
243
00:13:11,060 --> 00:13:12,390
You mean, I'm a wac?
244
00:13:12,470 --> 00:13:14,430
Until you've had a change
of assignment, yes.
245
00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:17,310
Dismissed! I just...
246
00:13:17,680 --> 00:13:19,680
Well. A wac.
247
00:13:57,220 --> 00:13:58,930
Fancy earmuffs.
248
00:14:44,220 --> 00:14:45,970
What am I doin' in the wacs?
249
00:14:46,100 --> 00:14:48,430
Male voice: That's
a logical question.
250
00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:50,270
I... who said that?
251
00:14:51,100 --> 00:14:55,180
Your old, furry cousin.
1000 pounds of loveable mule
252
00:14:55,220 --> 00:14:56,470
on the hoof. Mmm-hmm.
253
00:14:56,770 --> 00:14:58,390
Well, Francis!
254
00:14:59,020 --> 00:15:00,310
Francis! It couldn't be!
255
00:15:00,390 --> 00:15:02,470
Says you. Well, then it
was you on the train!
256
00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:03,560
Yeah.
257
00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:04,930
Boy, am I glad to see you!
258
00:15:05,020 --> 00:15:07,020
Lieutenant, please!
259
00:15:07,100 --> 00:15:09,720
What kind of an indoctrination
are they giving you?
260
00:15:09,810 --> 00:15:11,020
Oh, I'm in terrible trouble.
261
00:15:11,100 --> 00:15:12,140
Well, that figures.
262
00:15:12,390 --> 00:15:14,100
Me, Peter stirling, in the wacs.
263
00:15:14,180 --> 00:15:15,600
I'm in and they
won't let me out!
264
00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:17,100
I don't wanna be a wac!
265
00:15:17,100 --> 00:15:20,100
Oh, simmer down, petey
boy, that's why I'm here.
266
00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:22,100
I heard the
classification machine
267
00:15:22,100 --> 00:15:23,600
at the Pentagon went snafu
268
00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:25,770
and tapped you for duty
with the ladies
269
00:15:25,850 --> 00:15:27,060
of the army corps. Well...
270
00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:28,280
Oh, so that's how it happened?
271
00:15:28,310 --> 00:15:30,770
And it only could happen to you.
272
00:15:30,970 --> 00:15:32,700
Yeah. Yeah, well, you did
come to get me out?
273
00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:36,060
What a fate! Wet nurse to
an upper-class shavetail!
274
00:15:36,270 --> 00:15:38,520
For this I had
to get myself transferred
275
00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:40,890
to the medical research
lab on this post.
276
00:15:40,970 --> 00:15:42,350
I'm checkin' in in the morning.
277
00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:43,680
Oh, that's wonderful!
278
00:15:43,770 --> 00:15:45,060
Wonderful? Yeah!
279
00:15:45,220 --> 00:15:48,060
They needed a Guinea pig
to try their injections on.
280
00:15:48,060 --> 00:15:50,060
So, shake hands
with the Guinea pig. Me.
281
00:15:50,060 --> 00:15:51,270
Oh, I'm sorry, Francis.
282
00:15:51,350 --> 00:15:52,930
Yeah, but you are gonna
help me out, aren't ya?
283
00:15:52,930 --> 00:15:54,970
Well, I won't be able
to sit for a while
284
00:15:55,060 --> 00:15:57,970
and I hate to stand around
doing nothing.
285
00:15:58,060 --> 00:16:00,810
Oh, thanks, Francis.
Thanks a million!
286
00:16:00,890 --> 00:16:02,640
Oh, Pete, cut that out!
287
00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:03,720
What's that? Shh!
288
00:16:04,060 --> 00:16:06,060
Sounds like retreat to me.
289
00:16:06,060 --> 00:16:07,220
For you.
290
00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:17,180
Oh, uh, excuse me. Is there,
uh, is something wrong?
291
00:16:17,270 --> 00:16:19,390
We heard voices. You are
supposed to be alone.
292
00:16:19,470 --> 00:16:21,180
Oh. Well, there's
no one here but me.
293
00:16:21,270 --> 00:16:22,890
That's what we were told.
294
00:16:23,180 --> 00:16:26,020
Oh, uh, believe me,
there's no one in it!
295
00:16:30,100 --> 00:16:31,100
What about this?
296
00:16:31,220 --> 00:16:33,520
There's no one in that, either.
297
00:16:33,970 --> 00:16:36,520
Now, it... if! Need
you, I'll call you.
298
00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:38,520
I will. I'll call you.
299
00:16:48,350 --> 00:16:50,970
Francis? Francis! Oh.
300
00:16:53,970 --> 00:16:55,970
That's bungalow six, lieutenant.
301
00:16:55,970 --> 00:16:57,060
Thanks, sergeant.
302
00:16:57,140 --> 00:17:00,100
But are you sure the od
didn't say quarter six?
303
00:17:00,220 --> 00:17:01,350
She said six something.
304
00:17:01,430 --> 00:17:03,560
I'll worry about it tomorrow
when I'm not so sleepy.
305
00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:04,970
Good night.
306
00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:55,970
Oh, I'm sorry if I disturbed you.
I thought...
307
00:18:57,140 --> 00:18:58,240
Please, don't... don't scream!
308
00:18:58,270 --> 00:18:59,370
Please, please, don't scream.
309
00:18:59,390 --> 00:19:00,390
What are you doing here?
310
00:19:00,470 --> 00:19:01,590
I really am very sorry. I...
311
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:02,680
Shh!
312
00:19:02,770 --> 00:19:04,560
Help! Help! I... help!
313
00:19:09,850 --> 00:19:10,850
I'm sorry.
314
00:19:13,020 --> 00:19:14,180
Alone, huh?
315
00:19:22,060 --> 00:19:23,120
Now... now I know
what you're thinking,
316
00:19:23,140 --> 00:19:24,270
but it's not so. Honestly!
317
00:19:24,350 --> 00:19:26,680
You'd better come with us.
Get dressed.
318
00:19:26,770 --> 00:19:27,870
Now... now I know
what you're thinking!
319
00:19:27,890 --> 00:19:29,720
But it's not so, honestly!
320
00:19:29,930 --> 00:19:31,830
Now I know what you're thinking,
but it's not so, honestly.
321
00:19:31,850 --> 00:19:33,970
You can wait outside. I'll
get your report later.
322
00:19:34,100 --> 00:19:35,530
Now I know what you're
thinking, but it's not so...
323
00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:37,390
Lieutenant, I want the truth.
324
00:19:37,470 --> 00:19:39,560
Now, really it was...
It was nothing!
325
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:40,850
Nothing? Yes.
326
00:19:40,850 --> 00:19:43,970
Two incidents in one night?
Your first night here?
327
00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:45,160
Well, now, believe me, I...
328
00:19:45,180 --> 00:19:46,220
Uh, two incidents?
329
00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:47,560
What was... what was
the first one?
330
00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:48,810
Then you admit
there was a second?
331
00:19:48,810 --> 00:19:49,890
Uh, yeah, no, ma'am.
I just thought
332
00:19:49,890 --> 00:19:51,180
the second one
was the first one.
333
00:19:51,180 --> 00:19:53,720
Well, we won't discuss
the order of your romances.
334
00:19:53,810 --> 00:19:55,390
You were distinctly heard
speaking to someone
335
00:19:55,390 --> 00:19:57,680
before lieutenant dickson arrived.
Who was the other girl?
336
00:19:57,680 --> 00:19:58,770
Uh, it wasn't any girl.
337
00:19:58,810 --> 00:19:59,810
It had to be a girl.
338
00:19:59,810 --> 00:20:01,640
There are hundreds of them
stationed in this area.
339
00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:02,810
Nothing but girls.
340
00:20:02,810 --> 00:20:04,930
Not one girl was in my bungalow.
Not... not one.
341
00:20:05,020 --> 00:20:06,220
What about lieutenant dickson?
342
00:20:06,270 --> 00:20:08,060
Well, I was
there before she was!
343
00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:10,370
That didn't give you the privilege
of making advances to her.
344
00:20:10,390 --> 00:20:13,060
Why, I didn't. Why, I didn't.
345
00:20:13,140 --> 00:20:15,280
Don't tell me, she screamed
because you didn't make advances.
346
00:20:15,310 --> 00:20:16,720
Yes, ma'am. Uh, no, ma'am!
347
00:20:16,810 --> 00:20:18,210
I don't know what I mean!
348
00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:20,970
If your motives were so pure,
349
00:20:21,060 --> 00:20:22,810
why didn't you
immediately contact the od
350
00:20:22,890 --> 00:20:24,390
and notify her of the mistake?
351
00:20:24,470 --> 00:20:27,270
Well, I couldn't. The lieutenant
was getting undressed.
352
00:20:27,350 --> 00:20:29,770
You... you saw her undressing?
353
00:20:30,810 --> 00:20:32,850
No, ma'am. I shut my eyes.
354
00:20:33,270 --> 00:20:34,720
Then how do you know
she was getting undressed?
355
00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:35,770
I don't know!
356
00:20:35,770 --> 00:20:37,770
I... I just thought she
might be, that's all, I...
357
00:20:37,770 --> 00:20:39,350
Well, uh, you gotta...
358
00:20:39,430 --> 00:20:41,640
You gotta take your clothes
off to get into bed, don't you?
359
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:42,770
I... now I'm all confused.
360
00:20:42,850 --> 00:20:44,770
I shouldn't wonder.
361
00:20:44,770 --> 00:20:47,560
Lieutenant stirling, your records
arrived here this afternoon.
362
00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:49,430
They were very interesting.
363
00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:50,720
Need any help, toots?
364
00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:56,770
What did you say?
365
00:20:56,970 --> 00:20:59,390
Hmm? I... I didn't say anything.
366
00:21:01,220 --> 00:21:04,350
If you get stuck, you can spend
the night with me in the stable.
367
00:21:04,890 --> 00:21:07,970
Lieutenant, you must fancy
yourself a veritable Don Juan!
368
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:09,520
Who? No, no, not me!
369
00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:10,850
I know your type, lieutenant.
370
00:21:10,850 --> 00:21:13,720
You get into trouble and try to
talk yourself into a psycho ward.
371
00:21:13,770 --> 00:21:16,020
You've been in trouble before.
372
00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:19,850
Twenty-seven times in
neuro-psychiatric retention!
373
00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:22,270
That's really gold-bricking.
374
00:21:22,390 --> 00:21:23,470
Well, I tried to tell 'em...
375
00:21:23,470 --> 00:21:25,770
I can see right here what
you tried to tell them,
376
00:21:25,850 --> 00:21:27,720
that a mule talked to you.
377
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,160
They didn't believe me.
And neither would I!
378
00:21:29,180 --> 00:21:31,850
So don't pull any of that
mule hanky-panky around here!
379
00:21:31,930 --> 00:21:33,970
Yes, sir. I mean, no, sir.
I mean, yes, ma'am!
380
00:21:34,060 --> 00:21:35,310
For lack of clear-cut evidence,
381
00:21:35,390 --> 00:21:37,220
I will not press charges
against you
382
00:21:37,310 --> 00:21:39,310
but let me make
one thing quite plain,
383
00:21:39,390 --> 00:21:40,600
until you are transferred out,
384
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:41,720
you are a wac officer!
385
00:21:41,770 --> 00:21:44,640
You will think as we do
and do as we do.
386
00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:47,720
Everything? Everything!
387
00:22:25,270 --> 00:22:26,310
Woman 1: Come on! Come on!
388
00:22:26,350 --> 00:22:28,680
Woman 2: Come on,
we gotta play...
389
00:22:43,180 --> 00:22:45,180
Sergeant: One, two, three!
390
00:22:45,270 --> 00:22:48,640
One, one, one, two, three!
391
00:22:49,390 --> 00:22:52,640
One, one, one, two, three!
392
00:22:53,390 --> 00:22:54,640
One, one!
393
00:22:55,470 --> 00:22:56,970
One, two, three!
394
00:22:57,430 --> 00:22:58,810
One, one!
395
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:01,270
One, two, three!
396
00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:02,930
Platoon, halt!
397
00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:06,640
Ma'am, c company is formed.
398
00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:12,100
Extend to the left. March!
399
00:23:27,220 --> 00:23:28,270
Uh, good morning, captain.
400
00:23:28,310 --> 00:23:30,720
I'm supposed
to report to company c.
401
00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:34,890
The second platoon leader is ill.
You may fall in there.
402
00:23:40,890 --> 00:23:41,930
There?
403
00:23:41,970 --> 00:23:43,310
Fall in.
404
00:23:45,890 --> 00:23:47,680
You are at attention.
405
00:23:51,390 --> 00:23:53,470
Lieutenant Burke,
take over, please.
406
00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:54,770
Yes, ma'am!
407
00:23:56,350 --> 00:23:58,890
Prepare to exercise! Move!
408
00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:20,560
Lieutenant.
409
00:24:21,350 --> 00:24:23,930
Lieutenant! Prepare to exercise.
410
00:24:24,100 --> 00:24:25,220
Move!
411
00:24:41,310 --> 00:24:43,020
Our first exercise
412
00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:46,180
is the double
arm swing and leg lift.
413
00:24:47,060 --> 00:24:48,390
Leg lift.
414
00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:52,270
Exercise begins!
415
00:24:53,020 --> 00:24:55,270
Forward, and lift!
416
00:24:55,430 --> 00:24:57,970
And two, and right!
417
00:24:58,390 --> 00:25:00,970
And three, and left!
418
00:25:01,430 --> 00:25:02,850
And four.
419
00:25:02,930 --> 00:25:05,520
Our Don Juan doesn't look so
Don Juan-ish in the morning.
420
00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:09,970
This certainly isn't going to help the
morale of your second platoon, Jane.
421
00:25:10,060 --> 00:25:11,810
Oh, that
wouldn't matter, Louise.
422
00:25:12,220 --> 00:25:13,910
Maybe it would be better
to drop the second platoon
423
00:25:13,930 --> 00:25:15,810
out of the camouflage
operation entirely,
424
00:25:15,890 --> 00:25:18,100
rather than risk their
making a bad showing.
425
00:25:18,180 --> 00:25:20,470
We can't go in
with just two platoons.
426
00:25:20,470 --> 00:25:22,270
General kaye and all of g3 know
427
00:25:22,350 --> 00:25:25,390
we've been training a full
company in camouflage.
428
00:25:25,470 --> 00:25:27,270
How would it look
if we admitted failure?
429
00:25:27,350 --> 00:25:29,970
Our cause would be lost
before we started.
430
00:25:30,140 --> 00:25:32,970
Three and four!
431
00:25:33,390 --> 00:25:36,930
And five and six!
432
00:25:37,470 --> 00:25:39,100
And seven.
433
00:25:39,470 --> 00:25:41,930
And eight, and...
434
00:25:42,180 --> 00:25:43,780
What's the matter,
lieutenant, out of condition?
435
00:25:43,810 --> 00:25:45,600
Yeah. No, an old back injury.
436
00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:47,600
Looks as if a new one
has been added.
437
00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:49,180
Burke: And four!
438
00:25:49,270 --> 00:25:50,830
Well, you see, when I
took my basic training,
439
00:25:50,850 --> 00:25:51,950
we didn't have to be acrobats.
440
00:25:51,970 --> 00:25:54,930
Oh, I see. You men went in for
the rugged things, no doubt.
441
00:25:54,970 --> 00:25:57,120
Oh, yes. Obstacle course and
that sort of thing, you know,
442
00:25:57,140 --> 00:25:58,850
scale that wall,
jump that hurdle and...
443
00:25:58,930 --> 00:26:00,030
And climb that landing net...
444
00:26:00,060 --> 00:26:01,430
You mean confidence
course, lieutenant.
445
00:26:01,430 --> 00:26:02,640
We wacs don't use it.
446
00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:03,930
Yeah, well, it is
pretty strenuous.
447
00:26:03,930 --> 00:26:05,350
It wasn't meant for women.
448
00:26:05,430 --> 00:26:06,430
Burke: And...
449
00:26:06,430 --> 00:26:08,770
I'm sure the women
would appreciate it
450
00:26:08,850 --> 00:26:10,520
if you'd show them
how it's done sometime.
451
00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:11,810
Fine!
452
00:26:11,930 --> 00:26:14,020
Maybe I could even get a
few volunteers to help you.
453
00:26:14,430 --> 00:26:16,430
Wonderful. Uh, me?
454
00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:18,930
Yes, you, lieutenant. Fall in.
455
00:26:19,020 --> 00:26:22,430
Burke: And four, and five,
456
00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:26,270
and six, and seven.
457
00:26:41,430 --> 00:26:43,060
We'll show him!
458
00:27:29,350 --> 00:27:32,020
Woman: Come on, get up!
Get up quick! Yeah!
459
00:28:08,310 --> 00:28:09,850
Francis: Attention!
460
00:28:10,810 --> 00:28:12,220
Fall out!
461
00:28:18,890 --> 00:28:21,560
Swimming at this hour of the morning?
Come here!
462
00:28:22,430 --> 00:28:23,560
Francis, I...
463
00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:25,430
Hey, Pete, come here!
464
00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:28,310
On the double!
465
00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:32,950
Francis, that was a dirty trick!
466
00:28:32,970 --> 00:28:33,970
Oh?
467
00:28:34,100 --> 00:28:36,180
What are you doing here?
Haven't you reported in yet?
468
00:28:36,220 --> 00:28:39,140
Yeah, but now I gotta
figure a way to get out.
469
00:28:39,310 --> 00:28:40,310
Yeah, me too.
470
00:28:40,310 --> 00:28:42,280
They've been cutting me to pieces
all morning!
471
00:28:42,310 --> 00:28:43,970
Oh? What are you
looking at, Pete?
472
00:28:47,430 --> 00:28:49,270
Francis? Yours? Huh?
473
00:28:50,270 --> 00:28:52,270
Flatterer.
474
00:28:53,970 --> 00:28:56,180
Come here, cousin.
Come here. What?
475
00:28:56,270 --> 00:28:59,310
Do you know what major
Simpson's pet project is, huh?
476
00:28:59,390 --> 00:29:01,680
No. Camouflage!
477
00:29:01,770 --> 00:29:03,100
Camouflage, that's a man's job.
478
00:29:03,180 --> 00:29:04,810
Uh, since when?
479
00:29:05,270 --> 00:29:08,390
Every beauty parlor is a
camouflage installation. Yeah.
480
00:29:08,470 --> 00:29:10,270
Well, I never thought of that.
481
00:29:10,270 --> 00:29:11,640
Neither did general kaye!
482
00:29:12,430 --> 00:29:14,100
General kaye? Uh-huh.
483
00:29:14,220 --> 00:29:15,950
Why, you don't mean old Ben
kaye, hero of the Burma road?
484
00:29:15,970 --> 00:29:16,970
Yep.
485
00:29:17,100 --> 00:29:18,490
Well, what's he got to do
with all of this?
486
00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:21,310
Everything. He's in g3
at the Pentagon!
487
00:29:22,140 --> 00:29:23,390
And he's trying to booby-trap
488
00:29:23,470 --> 00:29:25,970
the wac's whole
camouflage training plan!
489
00:29:26,060 --> 00:29:28,310
Yeah! That's why
he suddenly whipped up
490
00:29:28,390 --> 00:29:29,810
this here demonstration!
491
00:29:29,930 --> 00:29:30,930
What demonstration?
492
00:29:31,020 --> 00:29:32,430
A camouflage operation
in the field,
493
00:29:32,470 --> 00:29:33,470
in two weeks.
494
00:29:33,560 --> 00:29:37,140
Major Simpson's wacs against
a company of combat veterans!
495
00:29:37,470 --> 00:29:41,220
And our "Burma hero" is bringing
along reporters and congressmen
496
00:29:41,220 --> 00:29:43,220
to laugh the girls right out
of their camouflage suits!
497
00:29:43,220 --> 00:29:44,220
Yeah. Yeah.
498
00:29:44,270 --> 00:29:45,350
Now what are
they all gonna think
499
00:29:45,350 --> 00:29:47,020
when they see a man in the wacs?
500
00:29:47,100 --> 00:29:48,600
Francis, I just gotta
get out of this!
501
00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:50,640
Ooh! Easy, boy.
502
00:29:50,930 --> 00:29:52,890
They snuck up on me
with a square needle.
503
00:29:52,970 --> 00:29:54,180
I'm sorry, Francis, I forgot.
504
00:29:54,220 --> 00:29:55,310
They didn't waste any time.
505
00:29:55,390 --> 00:29:57,060
And I'd suggest
you don't either.
506
00:29:57,140 --> 00:29:58,140
Hey!
507
00:29:58,220 --> 00:30:00,180
There's a shortcut to the
finish line over yonder!
508
00:30:00,220 --> 00:30:01,220
Okay.
509
00:30:01,230 --> 00:30:02,520
Now, that wouldn't be fair.
510
00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:04,770
All is fair in love and war.
511
00:30:04,850 --> 00:30:05,890
Get going!
512
00:30:05,970 --> 00:30:07,370
Well, that girl is way
ahead of me, isn't she?
513
00:30:07,390 --> 00:30:10,180
Mmm-hmm, there is the
understatement of the year.
514
00:30:10,270 --> 00:30:11,970
Come on! Mmm!
515
00:30:26,930 --> 00:30:28,180
Congratulations! Thank you.
516
00:30:28,180 --> 00:30:29,720
Good work.
517
00:30:33,970 --> 00:30:36,810
Are you all right, lieutenant?
Yeah, I'm... oh, yeah!
518
00:30:36,890 --> 00:30:37,970
Yes, I, uh...
519
00:30:38,100 --> 00:30:40,580
I just misjudged the height a
little, that's all. Oh!
520
00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:42,970
Oh, well.
521
00:30:43,060 --> 00:30:45,600
Well, that's not all I misjudged.
You wacs are terrific.
522
00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:48,240
You know, I have to admit
that it really wasn't very fair.
523
00:30:48,270 --> 00:30:51,430
You see, private Wilson
was an olympic champion.
524
00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:54,060
Oh. Well, I'm glad to
know that she's human.
525
00:30:54,140 --> 00:30:56,060
I thought she might be
a new secret weapon!
526
00:30:56,140 --> 00:30:59,220
Oh. Here, here,
lean on my shoulder.
527
00:30:59,310 --> 00:31:01,350
Oh, thank you.
528
00:31:01,810 --> 00:31:05,020
I'm, uh, glad to know you
wac officers are human, too.
529
00:31:05,100 --> 00:31:06,140
What do you mean?
530
00:31:06,140 --> 00:31:09,470
Oh, I thought you were hard as nails.
You're really very soft underneath.
531
00:31:10,470 --> 00:31:13,140
I mean, underneath.
Uh, uh, way underneath.
532
00:31:13,140 --> 00:31:14,680
The real you,
533
00:31:14,770 --> 00:31:16,140
that, that's what I mean!
534
00:31:17,060 --> 00:31:19,330
Well, our complexities won't
puzzle you much longer, lieutenant.
535
00:31:19,350 --> 00:31:22,140
I'm sure major Simpson
will expedite your transfer.
536
00:31:22,430 --> 00:31:24,220
Oh, I'm not a bit puzzled.
537
00:31:24,310 --> 00:31:26,140
I understand why
you're all so sensitive.
538
00:31:26,220 --> 00:31:29,140
I suppose general kaye's attitude
does get you on edge.
539
00:31:29,140 --> 00:31:30,930
What do you know
about general kaye?
540
00:31:30,970 --> 00:31:32,120
Oh, I sure hope you surprise him
541
00:31:32,140 --> 00:31:33,860
when you have your big
camouflage operation.
542
00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:38,810
Hey, captain Parker, I... captain
Parker, I got a wonderful idea!
543
00:31:38,890 --> 00:31:39,970
Now that we're friends,
544
00:31:40,060 --> 00:31:43,100
what do you say we both go to
the post dance together tonight?
545
00:31:43,390 --> 00:31:44,640
Huh?
546
00:31:46,100 --> 00:31:48,220
Uh... hmm.
547
00:31:48,930 --> 00:31:50,220
Francis was right,
548
00:31:50,310 --> 00:31:53,470
every wac is a woman. Except me.
549
00:31:54,100 --> 00:31:55,850
But it's impossible!
550
00:31:55,930 --> 00:31:58,100
General kaye just informed
us of the field operation!
551
00:31:58,100 --> 00:32:01,100
No one knows about it here but you and me!
And general kaye.
552
00:32:01,430 --> 00:32:03,100
The old fox!
553
00:32:03,100 --> 00:32:04,430
I didn't think he'd stoop to it,
554
00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:06,430
but the evidence leads
to only one conclusion!
555
00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:08,810
Lieutenant stirling was
sent here by general kaye.
556
00:32:08,890 --> 00:32:10,100
To snoop! Check!
557
00:32:10,100 --> 00:32:12,060
The mistake was no mistake!
558
00:32:12,100 --> 00:32:14,100
General kaye had stirling
assigned here by plan!
559
00:32:14,140 --> 00:32:17,180
Very clever of him to send a
spy who looks and acts like...
560
00:32:17,270 --> 00:32:18,770
Like a schlemiel!
561
00:32:18,850 --> 00:32:20,930
Well, if it's fight
the old double-grosser wants,
562
00:32:21,020 --> 00:32:23,060
we'll play his game his way!
How?
563
00:32:23,100 --> 00:32:26,140
We'll try to keep lieutenant
stirling here! What?
564
00:32:26,890 --> 00:32:28,430
General kaye insists
we conduct our
565
00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:30,390
field demonstration
with a full company.
566
00:32:30,470 --> 00:32:32,640
But the morale status of
the second platoon is such
567
00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:34,220
that it leaves us
only one course,
568
00:32:34,310 --> 00:32:35,970
to leave them out
of the operation!
569
00:32:36,350 --> 00:32:38,100
But you said he'd raise
an awful holler!
570
00:32:38,310 --> 00:32:41,520
Not if we can blame the condition
of that platoon on a man,
571
00:32:42,060 --> 00:32:43,220
his man!
572
00:32:44,770 --> 00:32:45,890
Send him in!
573
00:32:51,060 --> 00:32:52,060
Lieutenant!
574
00:32:59,430 --> 00:33:01,020
At ease.
575
00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:05,020
Well, lieutenant, it seems
we have a mutual friend.
576
00:33:05,020 --> 00:33:07,470
Oh, do we? I didn't know.
General kaye.
577
00:33:08,020 --> 00:33:09,640
Oh, no, I think you're
mistaken, ma'am.
578
00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:11,100
At least, I don't
know him personally.
579
00:33:11,100 --> 00:33:14,560
Well, you knew he was coming here to
review a camouflage demonstration.
580
00:33:14,930 --> 00:33:17,560
Yeah. Well, I, uh, I didn't
think there was any harm.
581
00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:20,140
I, uh, I did happen to mention
to captain Parker that...
582
00:33:20,220 --> 00:33:21,970
Then you did get the
word from general kaye?
583
00:33:22,060 --> 00:33:23,470
Oh, no, ma'am. I got it from...
584
00:33:23,890 --> 00:33:25,720
Uh, well, you
wouldn't believe me.
585
00:33:25,970 --> 00:33:27,970
Don't tell me you
got it from that mule?
586
00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:30,310
Why, yes. How did you know?
587
00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:35,350
Strangely enough, lieutenant,
your answer quite satisfies me.
588
00:33:35,970 --> 00:33:38,310
Oh, well. Oh, fine!
589
00:33:38,390 --> 00:33:40,970
Lieutenant stirling,
I have decided to make you
590
00:33:40,970 --> 00:33:43,970
the camouflage instructor for
the second platoon of company c.
591
00:33:44,220 --> 00:33:45,720
Oh, well, I...
592
00:33:45,810 --> 00:33:48,270
Me, an instructor for...
For a wac platoon?
593
00:33:48,350 --> 00:33:50,520
I'm sure, since you're a man,
you won't have any trouble
594
00:33:50,520 --> 00:33:51,970
whipping 'em into shape.
595
00:33:51,970 --> 00:33:54,970
Congratulations, lieutenant
stirling, and good luck!
596
00:33:56,930 --> 00:33:58,970
Man coming!
597
00:33:59,180 --> 00:34:00,850
Man coming!
598
00:34:02,520 --> 00:34:03,970
Attention!
599
00:34:12,890 --> 00:34:13,970
At ease.
600
00:34:14,930 --> 00:34:16,430
Some of you women may be aware
601
00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:18,180
that we were to be
joined by an officer
602
00:34:18,270 --> 00:34:20,560
with experience in
combat conditions.
603
00:34:20,930 --> 00:34:24,180
Through some error, lieutenant
stirling was assigned.
604
00:34:24,310 --> 00:34:26,520
Until he is transferred,
he will undertake duties
605
00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:28,930
as your platoon
camouflage instructor.
606
00:34:28,930 --> 00:34:31,930
A man in the wac? What is this?
That's for me!
607
00:34:32,020 --> 00:34:34,720
Take orders from a man?
But he's so cute.
608
00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:38,810
Well, lieutenant,
they're all yours.
609
00:34:39,100 --> 00:34:40,310
Take over.
610
00:34:49,390 --> 00:34:51,060
I just don't believe it!
611
00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:53,930
Well, it's true! Now, uh...
612
00:34:54,270 --> 00:34:55,970
I'm supposed to whip
you girls into shape!
613
00:34:56,100 --> 00:34:58,270
You're supposed to what?
614
00:34:58,930 --> 00:35:01,890
Well, uh, that's right, I'm supposed
to whip you girls into shape!
615
00:35:01,930 --> 00:35:04,060
Now I want order
and I want discipline.
616
00:35:04,180 --> 00:35:06,140
There will be no
shirking of duty!
617
00:35:06,220 --> 00:35:08,640
Now, when I say "fall out,"
I mean "fall out"!
618
00:35:08,720 --> 00:35:09,890
And when it comes
time to fall out,
619
00:35:09,890 --> 00:35:12,600
we fall out and very fast!
Fall out now, fast!
620
00:35:13,390 --> 00:35:15,350
Platoon, attention!
621
00:35:18,890 --> 00:35:21,060
I said attention!
We are at attention, sir!
622
00:35:21,930 --> 00:35:23,310
You are? Yes, sir!
623
00:35:25,970 --> 00:35:27,470
At ease!
624
00:35:32,770 --> 00:35:34,970
I said, at ease.
I am at ease, sir.
625
00:35:35,890 --> 00:35:37,520
You are? Yes, sir!
626
00:35:42,270 --> 00:35:44,850
Men... uh, uh, ladies,
627
00:35:45,020 --> 00:35:46,810
now we've all got a job to do.
628
00:35:46,850 --> 00:35:48,850
We've got to be
on the ball, right?
629
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:52,470
Right. Right.
630
00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:54,060
Let's have a little
close order drill.
631
00:35:54,100 --> 00:35:56,020
Platoon, attention!
632
00:35:57,390 --> 00:35:59,810
Shoulders back!
Suck in your, uh...
633
00:36:01,270 --> 00:36:03,890
Uh, pull, in your, uh...
634
00:36:03,970 --> 00:36:06,180
Uh, pull out your, uh...
635
00:36:06,270 --> 00:36:07,850
At ease!
636
00:36:08,720 --> 00:36:09,890
All right, fall out.
637
00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:12,850
Fall out!
638
00:36:12,850 --> 00:36:15,850
Lieutenant, we can't fall out
from an "at ease" position.
639
00:36:17,810 --> 00:36:20,100
You always know what's right
when I'm wrong, don't you?
640
00:36:23,850 --> 00:36:25,810
Platoon, attention!
641
00:36:26,390 --> 00:36:27,810
Fall out!
642
00:36:39,810 --> 00:36:41,180
Hey, Francis.
643
00:36:49,810 --> 00:36:50,850
Francis?
644
00:36:50,930 --> 00:36:53,470
Francis: Beat it, bud.
You're bad luck to me.
645
00:36:53,560 --> 00:36:55,560
Where are you? Right over here.
646
00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:57,810
They've made a monkey out of me.
647
00:36:58,390 --> 00:37:00,810
Oh, no. Francis.
648
00:37:00,810 --> 00:37:02,030
Francis, what've
they done to you?
649
00:37:02,060 --> 00:37:03,770
Francis, tell me you forgive me.
650
00:37:03,810 --> 00:37:05,280
Tell me you forgive
me, will you, Francis?
651
00:37:05,310 --> 00:37:06,640
Pfft! Please tell me!
652
00:37:06,720 --> 00:37:09,640
Cut out the monkey business!
I'm over here, petey boy.
653
00:37:12,310 --> 00:37:13,520
You...
654
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:14,810
Oh, did you scare me!
655
00:37:14,930 --> 00:37:16,560
For a minute, I... yeah, yeah...
656
00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:18,520
Why, Francis. Huh?
657
00:37:18,640 --> 00:37:21,310
Hey, what've they done to your...
Please, lieutenant.
658
00:37:21,470 --> 00:37:23,970
I'm gettin' what I deserve
for tryin' to help you!
659
00:37:24,350 --> 00:37:28,100
One more injection and I'll be
ready to buck for rear admiral.
660
00:37:28,180 --> 00:37:30,220
Gee, I'm sorry, Francis.
Is there anything I can do?
661
00:37:30,350 --> 00:37:31,850
I've often wondered.
662
00:37:32,390 --> 00:37:34,220
I can take anything
they can dish out.
663
00:37:34,310 --> 00:37:35,740
Well, I think we're
both getting a bad deal.
664
00:37:35,770 --> 00:37:36,890
I am officially in the wacs.
665
00:37:36,930 --> 00:37:38,770
Heaven help the wacs.
666
00:37:38,890 --> 00:37:40,470
Now, this is no time to joke.
667
00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:43,180
What're we gonna do? I can't
get any place with those girls.
668
00:37:43,270 --> 00:37:45,680
Maybe they're a little choosey.
Yeah.
669
00:37:45,770 --> 00:37:46,770
Oh, you know what I mean.
670
00:37:46,770 --> 00:37:48,470
I've brushed up on my
manual of arms. Yeah.
671
00:37:48,560 --> 00:37:49,720
My close order drill. Yeah.
672
00:37:49,720 --> 00:37:51,970
Et cetera, et cetera. That
should endear you to them.
673
00:37:52,100 --> 00:37:53,390
Psst! Psst!
674
00:37:53,520 --> 00:37:56,720
Uh-oh! Here comes old aspirin tablet.
Yeah. Who? Who?
675
00:37:57,350 --> 00:38:00,310
Have you got a surprise coming.
676
00:38:00,390 --> 00:38:01,720
Oh, boy.
677
00:38:04,890 --> 00:38:07,720
Good morning, you
dear little animals!
678
00:38:08,770 --> 00:38:11,470
Here's some breakfast,
you horrid little things.
679
00:38:12,850 --> 00:38:14,970
Oh, aunt and uncle wiggly,
680
00:38:15,100 --> 00:38:17,970
a big fat carrot for you.
681
00:38:20,680 --> 00:38:22,100
And rosalind.
682
00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:25,720
Look what nursie
brought you, a banana.
683
00:38:27,720 --> 00:38:30,220
Well, then you eat it later.
Just take it and eat it later.
684
00:38:32,220 --> 00:38:34,890
Peggy, look what I brought you.
685
00:38:34,970 --> 00:38:37,470
Some nice, fresh peanuts.
686
00:38:37,560 --> 00:38:39,850
Good morning, lieutenant.
Oh, good morning, lieutenant.
687
00:38:39,970 --> 00:38:41,350
Here's some...
688
00:38:45,470 --> 00:38:47,180
Oh, no. No, you couldn't be.
689
00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:49,470
No, I'm not! I'm not!
Honestly, I'm not!
690
00:38:49,680 --> 00:38:52,680
No, I mean, uh,
one I met in Burma.
691
00:38:52,680 --> 00:38:54,640
It was in a psychopathic ward.
Huh?
692
00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:56,680
Oh, but that, that was somebody
else entirely.
693
00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:59,140
Yes, he was always weaving baskets.
Is that so?
694
00:38:59,220 --> 00:39:01,060
Crazy as a loon,
huh? A real idiot?
695
00:39:01,140 --> 00:39:03,560
Oh, the cutest little
idiot you ever saw.
696
00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:05,430
Well. Oh? He talked to a mule.
697
00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:08,270
So of course, you couldn't...
Oh, no, I couldn't.
698
00:39:11,890 --> 00:39:13,350
Oh, dear.
699
00:39:16,890 --> 00:39:19,850
Uh, this mule isn't a
friend of yours, is he?
700
00:39:19,970 --> 00:39:21,930
Of course not.
701
00:39:22,020 --> 00:39:24,180
I just came in to see the monkeys.
Well,
702
00:39:24,310 --> 00:39:27,850
no insinuations implied, lieutenant.
Of course not. No.
703
00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:34,770
Let's see. You poor,
dumb little beast.
704
00:39:34,850 --> 00:39:37,140
No reaction whatsoever.
705
00:39:37,220 --> 00:39:39,640
Here, let's take
your temperature.
706
00:39:44,390 --> 00:39:46,600
Well, now there.
Now, stick it in.
707
00:39:46,640 --> 00:39:49,100
Stick it in that dear little
mouth of yours. Up, up.
708
00:39:49,180 --> 00:39:50,600
There you go.
709
00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:51,640
Oh!
710
00:39:53,100 --> 00:39:54,600
For pity's sakes.
711
00:39:55,810 --> 00:39:57,560
No brains, no feeling.
712
00:39:57,850 --> 00:39:59,350
She shouldn't have said that.
713
00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:02,600
He drank a whole bottle
of alcohol yesterday!
714
00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:06,310
Now, you dear little mule, I'm
gonna start you on your pills.
715
00:40:06,600 --> 00:40:08,640
I hope you take them nicely.
716
00:40:14,600 --> 00:40:15,720
No, I...
717
00:40:20,720 --> 00:40:22,180
The old battle axe.
718
00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:27,430
Pills. Takes a pill
to know a pill! Mmm.
719
00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:29,350
Remember that old saddle bag?
Yeah.
720
00:40:29,430 --> 00:40:31,230
Lieutenant Valerie humpert.
Do I remember her?
721
00:40:31,270 --> 00:40:32,270
Burma. Yeah.
722
00:40:32,350 --> 00:40:33,700
She nursed me through four
sieges of basket weaving!
723
00:40:33,720 --> 00:40:34,830
Uh-huh. Look, things
are getting worse.
724
00:40:34,850 --> 00:40:36,100
We've just gotta get outta here.
Check!
725
00:40:36,100 --> 00:40:37,770
And your old cousin has a plan!
726
00:40:37,850 --> 00:40:40,560
I knew you'd come up with something.
Natch. Now, get this.
727
00:40:40,560 --> 00:40:41,810
Peel a wac and you got a woman.
728
00:40:41,890 --> 00:40:45,310
Rank or file, they're females
first and last! Right? I guess so.
729
00:40:45,390 --> 00:40:47,850
All right. You can't win a
woman unless you woo her.
730
00:40:47,930 --> 00:40:50,770
A whole platoon? You want me to
woo a whole platoon? Precisely!
731
00:40:50,850 --> 00:40:52,770
Yeah, but I'm not very strong.
732
00:40:52,850 --> 00:40:55,430
Have you got 30 bucks? Why?
733
00:40:55,520 --> 00:40:57,770
Well, there's a special
sale on Cologne at the px.
734
00:40:57,850 --> 00:40:58,970
Cologne?
735
00:40:59,430 --> 00:41:03,390
It's called, "night
in the casbah."
736
00:41:03,560 --> 00:41:05,530
"Night in the casbah"? You
mean for the entire platoon?
737
00:41:05,560 --> 00:41:07,060
But of course!
738
00:41:07,390 --> 00:41:09,430
You are such a boy!
739
00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:11,390
Now get goin' and check with me!
740
00:41:12,890 --> 00:41:15,470
Woo a whole platoon?
That's 25 to one.
741
00:41:15,680 --> 00:41:17,520
You're the odds-on favorite!
742
00:41:18,810 --> 00:41:20,430
Eh-eh.
743
00:41:21,680 --> 00:41:22,930
Uh-oh.
744
00:41:25,520 --> 00:41:27,020
Oh, no, not that!
745
00:41:31,520 --> 00:41:34,810
Now you must take your
pill, you naughty little mule!
746
00:41:35,520 --> 00:41:38,520
Take this great big pill,
now! Open wide!
747
00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:40,140
Up with the little mouth.
748
00:41:40,310 --> 00:41:43,520
Now, that's right!
Put it in for nursie.
749
00:41:43,560 --> 00:41:45,770
There, now. Just one big blow.
750
00:41:49,520 --> 00:41:52,390
You all right, lieutenant?
You... you all right?
751
00:41:55,890 --> 00:41:58,970
Oh, lieutenant! Lieutenant!
752
00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:06,220
What's this "night
in the casbah" bit?
753
00:42:06,310 --> 00:42:08,600
Huh? Oh. It's just a gift!
754
00:42:09,470 --> 00:42:11,770
Are you as innocent as you look?
755
00:42:11,850 --> 00:42:13,810
Well, I really had an
ulterior motive, you see,
756
00:42:13,890 --> 00:42:15,470
I want you girls to like me.
757
00:42:15,470 --> 00:42:19,350
You mean... you mean you gave
Cologne to everybody in the platoon?
758
00:42:19,430 --> 00:42:21,350
Well, yeah. Don't you like it?
759
00:42:21,430 --> 00:42:23,470
I think it's wonderful.
760
00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:27,100
You know, if I had a kid brother
I'd like him to be just like you!
761
00:42:27,180 --> 00:42:28,770
I... no...
762
00:42:33,430 --> 00:42:35,560
Oh, lieutenant! Lieutenant!
763
00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:39,520
Oh, thank you
so much! Thank you!
764
00:42:44,970 --> 00:42:46,640
Oh, lieutenant!
765
00:42:47,220 --> 00:42:49,430
You shouldn't have! Now, mmm...
766
00:42:54,430 --> 00:42:57,470
Now, corporal hilstrom,
this is against regulations.
767
00:43:00,430 --> 00:43:02,850
Sorry, captain. It was
just a slip of the lip.
768
00:43:03,970 --> 00:43:06,430
Well, I expect you to be
more careful next time!
769
00:43:06,430 --> 00:43:07,560
Yes, ma'am!
770
00:43:07,640 --> 00:43:09,600
I'll be extra careful next time.
771
00:43:11,220 --> 00:43:12,930
Lieutenant stirling. Yes, ma'am?
772
00:43:13,060 --> 00:43:16,430
You were out of order. Well, yes. My aim...
My aim is better discipline!
773
00:43:16,850 --> 00:43:19,780
You'd sound a little more convincing if
you wiped that lip Rouge off your mouth.
774
00:43:19,810 --> 00:43:21,470
Of course.
775
00:43:21,890 --> 00:43:24,390
I... you know, that corporal
hilstrom took me by surprise.
776
00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:27,100
Your life seems to be
full of surprises!
777
00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:34,060
Oh, lieutenant!
778
00:43:45,720 --> 00:43:47,270
How do you figure that?
779
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:50,390
Lieutenant stirling seems
to be trying awfully hard.
780
00:43:50,390 --> 00:43:51,970
Lieutenant stirling!
781
00:43:52,060 --> 00:43:54,180
There's more to this
than meets the eye!
782
00:43:58,720 --> 00:44:02,060
One, two, three, four,
to the left flank, march!
783
00:44:02,350 --> 00:44:05,970
One, two, three, four.
One, two, three, four.
784
00:44:06,060 --> 00:44:09,560
Hut, two, three, four.
Hut, two, three, four.
785
00:44:09,640 --> 00:44:11,890
To the rear, march!
786
00:44:12,350 --> 00:44:14,180
One, two... lift those legs.
787
00:44:14,270 --> 00:44:15,930
Lift those lovely, lovely legs!
788
00:44:17,180 --> 00:44:19,350
And away we go
to the rear, march!
789
00:44:19,390 --> 00:44:21,390
To the rear, march.
790
00:44:21,560 --> 00:44:23,060
Lift those legs!
791
00:44:23,180 --> 00:44:25,060
You're doin' great,
you beautiful dolls!
792
00:44:25,140 --> 00:44:27,310
Embarrassing! Very embarrassing!
793
00:44:27,350 --> 00:44:29,770
Well, don't you think lieutenant
stirling is to be commended?
794
00:44:29,850 --> 00:44:31,970
For what? Double-crossing us?
795
00:44:32,060 --> 00:44:34,350
He lifted that second platoon
right out of their slump!
796
00:44:34,350 --> 00:44:35,970
And made us a
target for ridicule.
797
00:44:36,060 --> 00:44:38,350
What do you think general
kaye will say about this?
798
00:44:38,470 --> 00:44:40,350
A man helped us out!
799
00:44:40,350 --> 00:44:42,560
We couldn't do it
but a man could!
800
00:44:42,970 --> 00:44:44,850
Peter: Lift those
lovely, lovely legs.
801
00:44:47,390 --> 00:44:51,310
Ma'am, general kaye is waiting
for you at battalion headquarters.
802
00:44:51,310 --> 00:44:54,310
General kaye? But he isn't
due in until tomorrow.
803
00:44:54,470 --> 00:44:56,350
Peter: Lift those
lovely, lovely legs!
804
00:44:56,430 --> 00:44:59,180
I'm going to settle that lieutenant
stirling's hash right now!
805
00:44:59,270 --> 00:45:00,890
See you later!
806
00:45:03,310 --> 00:45:06,560
Kaye: Major, you might think
that I'm a stubborn mule.
807
00:45:06,640 --> 00:45:08,310
Just because a few of your women
808
00:45:08,310 --> 00:45:10,640
have developed into adequate
camouflage specialists,
809
00:45:10,720 --> 00:45:13,310
it doesn't mean that you can
flood the service with them.
810
00:45:13,310 --> 00:45:15,140
We've known each other
a long time, general,
811
00:45:15,220 --> 00:45:16,780
and I... I'd even
like to think of us as
812
00:45:16,850 --> 00:45:17,970
being good friends, Louise,
813
00:45:18,060 --> 00:45:19,930
but these wild ideas of yours...
814
00:45:19,970 --> 00:45:22,970
Ben, may I have your permission
to speak freely? Yeah.
815
00:45:23,100 --> 00:45:25,620
Just because you believe women are
fit only to be typewriter jockeys
816
00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:27,310
and telephone operators
doesn't mean that
817
00:45:27,390 --> 00:45:29,140
national defense
should be jeopardized!
818
00:45:29,220 --> 00:45:30,350
We've done pretty
well up to now.
819
00:45:30,350 --> 00:45:31,970
You only have to do badly once.
Louise,
820
00:45:32,060 --> 00:45:35,270
you've got a one-track mind and I
consider it my duty to prove you're wrong.
821
00:45:35,390 --> 00:45:37,930
And I find your methods as
misguided as your views.
822
00:45:38,020 --> 00:45:39,430
My methods are beyond reproach!
823
00:45:39,520 --> 00:45:41,970
I've gone to great lengths to
arrange this demonstration.
824
00:45:42,060 --> 00:45:44,810
You've gone to even greater lengths
to disrupt our morale and snoop!
825
00:45:44,890 --> 00:45:45,890
And what?
826
00:45:45,970 --> 00:45:47,660
Why haven't you approved
lieutenant stirling's
827
00:45:47,680 --> 00:45:49,520
transfer out of this
wac assignment?
828
00:45:49,640 --> 00:45:51,640
I don't know what
you're talkin' about.
829
00:45:51,720 --> 00:45:53,270
Who is this lieutenant stirling?
830
00:45:53,350 --> 00:45:55,270
And why should you
want her transferred?
831
00:45:55,350 --> 00:45:57,720
Lieutenant stirling is not a her!
It's a him. A him?
832
00:45:57,810 --> 00:45:59,930
As if you didn't know! Here?
833
00:45:59,970 --> 00:46:03,430
Yes! A mata hari
in men's clothing!
834
00:46:03,560 --> 00:46:06,890
Sent here to carry out his
general's orders! General!
835
00:46:07,220 --> 00:46:09,930
Ben, there are many things on
which we don't see eye to eye,
836
00:46:10,020 --> 00:46:13,220
but up to now I have never questioned
your ethics or sportsmanship.
837
00:46:13,220 --> 00:46:15,180
Now, Louise, if you'll simmer...
But the mere fact
838
00:46:15,220 --> 00:46:17,220
that you had to stoop to
this sort of procedure
839
00:46:17,220 --> 00:46:19,020
to try and beat us
is proof of our
840
00:46:19,100 --> 00:46:20,890
superior skill and ability.
841
00:46:21,060 --> 00:46:22,770
Major, it might be
a good idea for you
842
00:46:22,850 --> 00:46:24,990
to use some of your smart
camouflaging on that sharp tongue
843
00:46:25,020 --> 00:46:27,140
when you're addressing
a superior officer.
844
00:46:30,180 --> 00:46:31,310
I'm sorry, Louise.
845
00:46:31,390 --> 00:46:33,180
This is the first I've
heard about all this.
846
00:46:33,220 --> 00:46:36,220
Naturally, if there's been a
mistake, I'll rectify it at once.
847
00:46:36,680 --> 00:46:38,100
Thank you.
848
00:46:40,970 --> 00:46:43,220
Now about the
demonstration, I've, uh,
849
00:46:43,220 --> 00:46:47,430
selected piney woods as the area of
operation, if this is acceptable to you.
850
00:46:49,180 --> 00:46:50,350
A male wac,
851
00:46:51,850 --> 00:46:53,180
how about that?
852
00:46:57,180 --> 00:46:59,180
Just think, in a couple of days
we might be out of this mess.
853
00:46:59,180 --> 00:47:01,890
You're sure your transfer
is going through?
854
00:47:02,020 --> 00:47:04,180
Well, corporal hilstrom
heard it from captain Parker
855
00:47:04,180 --> 00:47:06,020
and captain Parker got
it from major Simpson.
856
00:47:06,180 --> 00:47:09,180
Happy day. I couldn't
stand much more.
857
00:47:09,640 --> 00:47:12,180
What headquarters is
doing to my hindquarters
858
00:47:12,220 --> 00:47:14,560
shouldn't happen in any quarter.
859
00:47:16,180 --> 00:47:18,640
You know, it's gonna be
hard saying goodbye. Yeah?
860
00:47:18,720 --> 00:47:20,310
Francis? Huh?
861
00:47:20,390 --> 00:47:23,160
Do you think it's possible for a guy
to be in love with a whole platoon?
862
00:47:23,180 --> 00:47:25,680
Never heard of it outside
the marine corps.
863
00:47:25,770 --> 00:47:28,810
Once knew a marine who was
engaged to three women.
864
00:47:28,970 --> 00:47:30,310
Yeah? What did he do about it?
865
00:47:30,390 --> 00:47:32,140
They buried him in Arlington.
866
00:47:32,810 --> 00:47:35,140
Sharpened his heels and drove him in.
867
00:47:35,640 --> 00:47:37,060
Shh. Shh.
868
00:47:44,850 --> 00:47:46,140
Attention!
869
00:47:46,310 --> 00:47:48,470
Come on, Francis.
No games. I'm tired.
870
00:47:49,680 --> 00:47:50,810
Attention!
871
00:47:51,140 --> 00:47:53,970
Now quit making like a
general, you idiot.
872
00:47:54,140 --> 00:47:57,180
Idiot, am I? I could have you
broken for this, lieutenant!
873
00:47:59,060 --> 00:48:00,640
A jackass break a lieutenant?
874
00:48:00,720 --> 00:48:02,720
Heh, that's a laugh.
875
00:48:02,930 --> 00:48:04,680
Yes, it's a real yuk.
876
00:48:04,890 --> 00:48:06,180
On your feet!
877
00:48:16,310 --> 00:48:17,770
So you're lieutenant stirling?
878
00:48:17,850 --> 00:48:19,970
Uh, yes, sir.
879
00:48:20,060 --> 00:48:22,100
Looks like we're gettin' kinda
close to the bottom of the barrel.
880
00:48:22,100 --> 00:48:23,180
Yes, sir. Hmm.
881
00:48:23,720 --> 00:48:25,470
See we hit the Burma front together.
Yeah?
882
00:48:25,560 --> 00:48:27,100
I'm general kaye.
Oh, how do you do, sir.
883
00:48:27,100 --> 00:48:29,970
At ease, lieutenant.
At ease, sir?
884
00:48:30,060 --> 00:48:31,140
I know how you feel,
885
00:48:31,220 --> 00:48:34,930
coming out of a man's army and
being pushed in with these suzies.
886
00:48:35,020 --> 00:48:37,060
A male wac! Yes, sir.
887
00:48:37,100 --> 00:48:38,430
I hear your little tour of duty
888
00:48:38,520 --> 00:48:40,440
has thrown the ladies into a tizzy.
Uh, yes, sir.
889
00:48:40,470 --> 00:48:42,640
Uh, no, sir! Well, I
try to do my duty, sir.
890
00:48:42,720 --> 00:48:45,270
So I hear, and that's what
I want to talk to you about.
891
00:48:45,350 --> 00:48:48,470
Just between us, stirling, I
don't think you should overdo it.
892
00:48:48,560 --> 00:48:50,350
Huh? I don't understand, sir.
893
00:48:50,430 --> 00:48:54,520
Well, women just don't appreciate
a man's superior skill and ability.
894
00:48:54,600 --> 00:48:56,060
Oh, yes, sir. Oh, not that
it would matter, sir.
895
00:48:56,060 --> 00:48:57,470
I'm not gonna be with
them much longer.
896
00:48:57,470 --> 00:48:59,680
I'm being transferred
out. I think.
897
00:48:59,770 --> 00:49:03,060
Am I not, sir? Yes, of course, my boy.
Of course.
898
00:49:03,100 --> 00:49:05,020
Might take a little time.
899
00:49:05,640 --> 00:49:08,100
I suppose this was a
little advance celebration?
900
00:49:08,180 --> 00:49:10,060
Oh, yes, sir. Me and Francis.
901
00:49:10,600 --> 00:49:11,850
Francis?
902
00:49:12,060 --> 00:49:13,060
Who's she?
903
00:49:13,270 --> 00:49:15,720
Oh, she is a he.
Uh, he is a mule.
904
00:49:16,020 --> 00:49:17,810
Uh, that that's him
over there, sir.
905
00:49:18,220 --> 00:49:20,180
Celebratin' with a mule?
Hmm. Yes, sir.
906
00:49:23,060 --> 00:49:25,970
Personally, I would've selected
a sweeter smellin' companion.
907
00:49:26,060 --> 00:49:27,470
One not so dumb.
908
00:49:27,560 --> 00:49:30,430
Yeah, but he's a pretty smart mule, sir.
That I doubt.
909
00:49:30,930 --> 00:49:33,310
He reminds me of one
I had in my command.
910
00:49:33,390 --> 00:49:35,600
We had just built a temporary
bridge on the Burma road,
911
00:49:35,680 --> 00:49:37,930
and this stubborn
creature refused to cross.
912
00:49:38,020 --> 00:49:40,140
Held up the whole company.
We never did get across it.
913
00:49:40,180 --> 00:49:41,770
Never? No. The bridge collapsed
914
00:49:41,850 --> 00:49:45,020
before our very eyes into a
raging, storm-swollen river.
915
00:49:45,100 --> 00:49:46,930
Well, maybe he was
pretty smart, sir.
916
00:49:47,020 --> 00:49:48,430
No. Not this one.
917
00:49:48,770 --> 00:49:50,770
He was just ornery, stupid.
918
00:49:51,020 --> 00:49:53,020
Dumbest animal I ever saw.
919
00:49:53,930 --> 00:49:56,810
Well, I'll leave you to
your little celebration.
920
00:49:56,930 --> 00:49:57,970
Yes, sir.
921
00:49:58,890 --> 00:50:00,310
Uh-huh.
922
00:50:01,970 --> 00:50:03,390
Get him!
923
00:50:04,970 --> 00:50:06,600
Come back here, Pete!
924
00:50:10,470 --> 00:50:12,390
I wish you'd make up your mind!
I'm so mad,
925
00:50:12,470 --> 00:50:16,470
I could blow a gasket! Naturally,
I wouldn't cross that bridge.
926
00:50:16,970 --> 00:50:18,970
You mean that mule was you?
927
00:50:18,970 --> 00:50:21,430
Anybody could see the
pulley system was faulty,
928
00:50:21,520 --> 00:50:23,430
the bridge was
bound to collapse.
929
00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:25,810
Francis, you saved
the whole company.
930
00:50:25,890 --> 00:50:28,520
Yeah, but our hero
got a commendation.
931
00:50:28,970 --> 00:50:33,430
Never mentioned me. "Ornery,
stupid." The old goat.
932
00:50:33,520 --> 00:50:36,640
Yeah, yeah, but I don't understand.
Now... now his voice
933
00:50:36,720 --> 00:50:38,310
sounds exactly like yours.
934
00:50:38,560 --> 00:50:40,850
It was along about
then I decided
935
00:50:40,930 --> 00:50:42,560
it would be handy
to be able to talk,
936
00:50:42,640 --> 00:50:45,160
particularly like a general, and
as long as I was in his outfit,
937
00:50:45,220 --> 00:50:46,970
it was a built-in goldbrick.
938
00:50:46,970 --> 00:50:48,890
Well, it sounds like
nothin' but trouble.
939
00:50:48,970 --> 00:50:50,390
Am I glad we're
getting out of this!
940
00:50:50,470 --> 00:50:52,970
But we're not getting out.
No. Yeah.
941
00:50:52,970 --> 00:50:54,810
What're you saying?
We gotta get out of this!
942
00:50:54,970 --> 00:50:56,180
Hmm, petey, my boy,
943
00:50:56,270 --> 00:50:58,930
we're gonna stay long
enough to teach that old...
944
00:50:59,100 --> 00:51:01,430
Well, we're gonna
teach him a lesson!
945
00:51:01,520 --> 00:51:02,640
Oh, no, now you can't!
946
00:51:02,720 --> 00:51:05,470
Oh, you're going to become
a camouflage expert.
947
00:51:05,560 --> 00:51:08,350
Not me, I refuse. I just plain refuse!
Let me see,
948
00:51:08,430 --> 00:51:11,180
the operation will take
place at piney woods.
949
00:51:11,310 --> 00:51:13,640
Now, we need a map of that area.
950
00:51:14,220 --> 00:51:17,220
Not me! Now you leave me out of this.
I don't want anything to do with maps.
951
00:51:17,930 --> 00:51:20,140
Naturally, this
is top secret, Pete.
952
00:51:20,310 --> 00:51:22,310
Major Simpson won't
even tell company c
953
00:51:22,390 --> 00:51:24,060
what route they're
going to follow.
954
00:51:24,140 --> 00:51:26,390
Not until the night
before the operation.
955
00:51:26,970 --> 00:51:28,930
Now, starting from point able...
956
00:51:30,390 --> 00:51:31,930
Yeah, that's it.
957
00:51:32,060 --> 00:51:34,640
Company c, to be
called the white army,
958
00:51:34,720 --> 00:51:36,030
is going to try to
move a distance
959
00:51:36,060 --> 00:51:38,310
of 10 miles to point baker.
960
00:51:39,270 --> 00:51:41,890
You see it there? Atta boy.
961
00:51:41,930 --> 00:51:45,140
That is, without being spotted
by general kaye's blue army.
962
00:51:45,770 --> 00:51:48,560
Both these points will be
known to us and the umpire,
963
00:51:48,640 --> 00:51:50,470
but not to the blue army.
964
00:51:51,140 --> 00:51:54,890
Starting tomorrow, company c goes
into training on a 24-hour basis.
965
00:51:55,270 --> 00:51:58,350
Yeah, well, Francis, what do I
know about... you'll learn, my boy.
966
00:51:58,430 --> 00:52:00,810
Yes, sir, you'll learn.
967
00:52:01,680 --> 00:52:03,850
Did you deploy your
troops so they can
968
00:52:03,890 --> 00:52:07,270
be identified and
signaled immediately? Huh?
969
00:52:07,350 --> 00:52:09,890
Yes. All right. Show me.
Show me.
970
00:52:19,810 --> 00:52:21,970
Reverse, move!
971
00:52:24,810 --> 00:52:27,850
I said move! Oh, there you are.
972
00:52:28,850 --> 00:52:31,390
Oh, my aching back!
973
00:53:02,390 --> 00:53:04,770
Oh, a moose!
974
00:53:04,810 --> 00:53:07,770
Calm down, boy. That's
just an object lesson.
975
00:53:07,810 --> 00:53:10,310
Camouflage can be offensive
as well as defensive.
976
00:53:10,390 --> 00:53:13,470
I just wanted to drive that
point through your head!
977
00:53:13,560 --> 00:53:15,810
You sure took the long way through.
Mmm-hmm.
978
00:53:15,810 --> 00:53:17,720
Parker! Jane: Oh, good morning.
979
00:53:19,810 --> 00:53:21,370
Jane, did you take
the topographical map
980
00:53:21,390 --> 00:53:22,810
of piney woods from my desk?
981
00:53:22,850 --> 00:53:24,780
Well, I wouldn't do that
without your permission, Louise.
982
00:53:24,810 --> 00:53:26,220
Well, someone did. It's gone!
983
00:53:26,310 --> 00:53:28,930
And if that map ever gets into
the wrong hands... wrong hands!
984
00:53:28,970 --> 00:53:31,060
Oh, you don't think general
kaye would go that far?
985
00:53:31,140 --> 00:53:33,770
I think he'd do anything
to prevent our success,
986
00:53:33,810 --> 00:53:35,560
him and his male wac, I...
987
00:53:36,810 --> 00:53:38,810
That's who it was. Stirling!
988
00:53:40,220 --> 00:53:43,430
It must have been our
dear little lieutenant.
989
00:53:47,720 --> 00:53:49,770
Lieutenant! Lieutenant!
990
00:53:52,270 --> 00:53:53,600
As you were.
991
00:53:53,770 --> 00:53:56,640
I won't beat about the bush,
I want that map! What map?
992
00:53:56,720 --> 00:53:58,770
The map to piney woods,
as if you didn't know,
993
00:53:58,770 --> 00:53:59,970
and don't tell me you lost it!
994
00:53:59,970 --> 00:54:02,690
Oh, no, ma'am. I've got it. Not that
it would matter, I memorized it!
995
00:54:04,100 --> 00:54:07,140
Lieutenant, report to battalion
headquarters immediately.
996
00:54:07,220 --> 00:54:09,770
Go there directly.
Do not speak to anyone!
997
00:54:09,770 --> 00:54:12,350
Yes, ma'am. I mean yes, sir.
I mean, I mean, yes.
998
00:54:13,350 --> 00:54:16,680
Nothing, but nothing must
jeopardize the operation.
999
00:54:17,100 --> 00:54:19,770
Obviously, if he went to the
trouble of memorizing the map,
1000
00:54:19,770 --> 00:54:22,390
the information on it has not
yet gotten to general kaye.
1001
00:54:22,470 --> 00:54:24,310
I'm going to see
that it never does.
1002
00:54:24,390 --> 00:54:25,810
Send lieutenant stirling in.
1003
00:54:28,720 --> 00:54:30,140
Lieutenant stirling.
1004
00:54:40,680 --> 00:54:41,720
Sit down!
1005
00:54:50,640 --> 00:54:52,200
Lieutenant, I want to know what...
It's not true.
1006
00:54:52,220 --> 00:54:54,180
I'm innocent. I'm not
on general kaye's side.
1007
00:54:54,270 --> 00:54:56,930
We want you wacs to win. Yeah, we.
"We," lieutenant stirling?
1008
00:54:56,970 --> 00:54:58,640
I mean, I. I see.
1009
00:54:58,720 --> 00:55:00,970
Oh, no, no, you don't see. Honestly...
I see the map you stole.
1010
00:55:00,970 --> 00:55:02,220
I didn't steal any map.
1011
00:55:02,310 --> 00:55:04,180
Somebody did. It was borrowed.
1012
00:55:04,270 --> 00:55:05,490
Francis wouldn't steal anything.
1013
00:55:05,520 --> 00:55:07,600
Francis? Who's Francis?
Francis, he's...
1014
00:55:08,220 --> 00:55:09,470
Oh, you wouldn't believe me.
1015
00:55:09,560 --> 00:55:12,100
Don't tell me you're going to
go into that mule routine again!
1016
00:55:12,180 --> 00:55:13,640
Yes, ma'am.
1017
00:55:14,060 --> 00:55:16,680
All right, so there's a mule.
1018
00:55:16,680 --> 00:55:19,390
A mule named Francis.
Yes. Spelled with an "I."
1019
00:55:19,470 --> 00:55:22,220
Just an ordinary mule? Oh,
no, he's not an ordinary mule.
1020
00:55:22,350 --> 00:55:25,390
A mule walked into my office
to borrow a map? Yes, ma'am.
1021
00:55:25,850 --> 00:55:27,890
How do you know he did?
He told me.
1022
00:55:27,970 --> 00:55:30,520
Oh, yes, I forgot.
He talks, too.
1023
00:55:30,600 --> 00:55:31,680
Yeah.
1024
00:55:31,680 --> 00:55:34,890
Well, I know it sounds impossible, why,
I didn't believe it myself at one time.
1025
00:55:34,970 --> 00:55:37,810
But now you do believe he can talk?
I know it!
1026
00:55:37,890 --> 00:55:41,560
And you're willing to stand by
that story, lieutenant? Definitely!
1027
00:55:41,680 --> 00:55:44,890
Good! It makes what I have
to do that much simpler.
1028
00:55:46,270 --> 00:55:48,220
Honestly, it's the truth!
I swear, it's...
1029
00:55:48,310 --> 00:55:49,680
I swear it's the truth!
1030
00:55:50,470 --> 00:55:52,390
Don't you worry about a thing.
1031
00:55:52,470 --> 00:55:54,560
We've been through this
before, lieutenant.
1032
00:55:54,640 --> 00:55:56,060
Yeah, and I don't want
to go through it again.
1033
00:55:56,060 --> 00:56:00,100
Just like old times, they're
using our treatments again.
1034
00:56:00,430 --> 00:56:01,720
Good afternoon, nurse.
1035
00:56:03,640 --> 00:56:07,220
And how's our patient? Oh, just dandy.
Just dandy.
1036
00:56:07,310 --> 00:56:10,890
Do you still think a mule talks to you?
He certainly does!
1037
00:56:10,970 --> 00:56:12,930
You don't have to answer
for lieutenant stirling.
1038
00:56:12,970 --> 00:56:14,810
You're asking our questions.
1039
00:56:14,970 --> 00:56:18,060
That's all. That's all.
Yes, you were asking...
1040
00:56:18,140 --> 00:56:19,770
Well, I...
1041
00:56:22,680 --> 00:56:25,180
Oh, yes. Mmm.
1042
00:56:25,270 --> 00:56:28,220
I'll be right outside, lieutenant.
1043
00:56:29,850 --> 00:56:33,640
Now, this heavy dark mass
represents your mother.
1044
00:56:37,020 --> 00:56:38,680
My mother was a skinny blonde.
1045
00:56:38,970 --> 00:56:41,060
You said Francis was
like a mother to you.
1046
00:56:41,140 --> 00:56:42,980
Oh, no, I said Francis
was like a father to me.
1047
00:56:43,060 --> 00:56:45,430
He helps me and advises
me on everything.
1048
00:56:45,520 --> 00:56:48,600
And you believe he could help
and advise you in this situation?
1049
00:56:48,600 --> 00:56:50,060
You mean you'll
let me talk to him?
1050
00:56:50,140 --> 00:56:51,520
I think it can be arranged.
1051
00:56:51,600 --> 00:56:53,930
Oh, thank you very much, sir!
Thank you! That's really...
1052
00:56:54,020 --> 00:56:56,350
I'm awfully sorry...
1053
00:56:57,270 --> 00:57:01,930
There, there, now. Be my
own dear brave little mule.
1054
00:57:02,640 --> 00:57:04,180
I know it hurts!
1055
00:57:04,270 --> 00:57:06,220
Oh, it hurts me worse
then it does you.
1056
00:57:06,310 --> 00:57:08,890
Oh, we got to get
prettied up, you know.
1057
00:57:08,970 --> 00:57:11,600
Company's coming. Yes, company!
1058
00:57:17,180 --> 00:57:20,520
Now you wait right there
and I'll fix your oatsies.
1059
00:57:22,560 --> 00:57:25,270
Hmm, I'd like to
fix her oatsies.
1060
00:57:25,430 --> 00:57:26,560
Hey!
1061
00:57:28,770 --> 00:57:30,270
Hi, Francis.
1062
00:57:31,770 --> 00:57:35,020
Uh, look, I know you're mad at
me but I had to tell the truth.
1063
00:57:36,560 --> 00:57:38,970
Uh, did he answer you?
1064
00:57:39,390 --> 00:57:42,810
No, he gets this way. Stubborn.
Look, I'm sorry, Francis.
1065
00:57:44,140 --> 00:57:46,430
Oh, it's no use now.
He won't talk to me.
1066
00:57:46,560 --> 00:57:48,600
No, I'm sure he won't.
Come, lieutenant.
1067
00:57:48,720 --> 00:57:50,520
Now, no hard feelings, Francis.
1068
00:57:51,100 --> 00:57:52,680
Come up and see
my paintings sometime.
1069
00:58:03,140 --> 00:58:04,520
Hello.
1070
00:58:06,350 --> 00:58:07,930
Hello, uh, Francis.
1071
00:58:12,890 --> 00:58:14,270
Goodbye, cutie.
1072
00:58:14,680 --> 00:58:16,020
Ah!
1073
00:58:30,640 --> 00:58:32,600
Oh...
1074
00:58:33,430 --> 00:58:34,680
What's the matter?
1075
00:58:37,140 --> 00:58:38,930
He spoke to me.
1076
00:58:39,430 --> 00:58:41,470
Well, at least I thought he did.
Who?
1077
00:58:44,350 --> 00:58:45,520
Francis. The mule!
1078
00:58:45,640 --> 00:58:49,470
Oh, you dreamt it.
No, no, no, he said...
1079
00:58:50,020 --> 00:58:51,470
Oh, he said...
1080
00:58:51,770 --> 00:58:54,970
Well, he said, "goodbye,
cutie." Oh, look.
1081
00:58:55,060 --> 00:58:58,890
Why don't you knock off for the
rest of the day. Take it easy.
1082
00:59:00,390 --> 00:59:03,430
Maybe I'd better. A mule!
1083
00:59:04,310 --> 00:59:07,060
Cutie! Uh?
1084
00:59:34,350 --> 00:59:36,850
You know something, you look
like a horse too, major.
1085
00:59:49,220 --> 00:59:50,970
You wanted to see me, Louise?
1086
00:59:56,100 --> 00:59:57,520
You too? Huh?
1087
00:59:58,140 --> 01:00:00,390
Oh, no. It's just a hobby.
1088
01:00:00,430 --> 01:00:01,850
Since when?
1089
01:00:03,020 --> 01:00:04,390
Since last night.
1090
01:00:04,890 --> 01:00:05,970
The mule?
1091
01:00:06,060 --> 01:00:09,390
He not only spoke to me, he
sounded just like general kaye.
1092
01:00:09,720 --> 01:00:11,640
Like general kaye?
1093
01:00:11,720 --> 01:00:13,770
Oh, you've got it real bad!
1094
01:00:13,850 --> 01:00:15,970
You're one to talk, "cutie"!
1095
01:00:16,470 --> 01:00:18,310
Now I've got it all figured out.
1096
01:00:18,390 --> 01:00:20,220
It has to be ventriloquism.
1097
01:00:20,470 --> 01:00:21,890
Of course!
1098
01:00:21,970 --> 01:00:23,390
You mean lieutenant stirling.
1099
01:00:23,970 --> 01:00:26,270
Oh, I didn't say it was
lieutenant stirling. I...
1100
01:00:26,390 --> 01:00:29,390
Uh, why I could be wrong about the
whole thing. It had to be stirling.
1101
01:00:29,430 --> 01:00:31,890
But he wasn't even there.
How do we know?
1102
01:00:31,970 --> 01:00:34,140
The medical lab is part
of the hospital installation.
1103
01:00:34,220 --> 01:00:36,390
All the buildings are grouped together.
1104
01:00:36,390 --> 01:00:39,850
Oh, you mean it's another one of
general kaye's morale breakers?
1105
01:01:02,640 --> 01:01:06,180
You gentlemen of the press will
be briefed later by major Simpson.
1106
01:01:06,350 --> 01:01:07,950
From my point of view
I can only tell you
1107
01:01:07,970 --> 01:01:10,930
that the operation will start
at dawn tomorrow and finish.
1108
01:01:11,100 --> 01:01:13,350
Before it starts.
1109
01:01:13,350 --> 01:01:14,770
Well, what happens
if you spot them?
1110
01:01:14,850 --> 01:01:17,180
Do you shoot them down?
Heck, no.
1111
01:01:17,270 --> 01:01:19,350
We need them behind
the typewriters.
1112
01:01:19,350 --> 01:01:21,310
We're using a kind
of a genteel ammo.
1113
01:01:21,350 --> 01:01:23,310
Squirt guns with liquid dye.
1114
01:01:23,310 --> 01:01:26,470
That way we can tell which of the ladies
has been spotted and disqualified.
1115
01:01:26,560 --> 01:01:29,640
The white army isn't
going to be white very long.
1116
01:01:30,310 --> 01:01:33,310
Major, show these gentlemen
to their quarters.
1117
01:01:34,600 --> 01:01:36,020
John?
1118
01:01:37,310 --> 01:01:38,850
See you at six in the
morning, general.
1119
01:01:38,930 --> 01:01:41,810
You'll be back
in the sack at seven, Jack.
1120
01:01:46,310 --> 01:01:49,600
Good morning, major. I hope your
little army is fit and ready.
1121
01:01:51,810 --> 01:01:52,970
Oh, I...
1122
01:01:53,060 --> 01:01:54,430
I thought you were a mule.
1123
01:01:54,680 --> 01:01:55,770
A what?
1124
01:01:56,140 --> 01:01:58,390
Oh, I mean ajackass. I...
1125
01:01:58,470 --> 01:02:01,310
Now wait a minute, uh...
She means a talking mule.
1126
01:02:01,390 --> 01:02:03,680
We've both been the victims
of your ventriloquist.
1127
01:02:03,770 --> 01:02:06,270
Ventriloquist? Talking mule?
1128
01:02:07,520 --> 01:02:08,560
You both "I?
1129
01:02:08,640 --> 01:02:10,520
Oh, please, let's not
go through that again.
1130
01:02:10,600 --> 01:02:12,270
I mean lieutenant stirling.
1131
01:02:12,270 --> 01:02:14,720
Oh, stirling. Yes.
I met him and his mule.
1132
01:02:14,810 --> 01:02:16,640
What do you mean
the animal talks?
1133
01:02:16,720 --> 01:02:18,720
Well... well, what
did it talk about?
1134
01:02:18,810 --> 01:02:20,020
Well, for one thing, he...
1135
01:02:20,100 --> 01:02:22,600
It called captain
Parker "cutie."
1136
01:02:23,270 --> 01:02:25,180
Cutie? Excuse me.
1137
01:02:26,770 --> 01:02:28,220
A real army mule.
1138
01:02:31,310 --> 01:02:33,350
What did he call you, Louise?
1139
01:02:33,430 --> 01:02:35,680
I'd rather not say.
1140
01:02:36,520 --> 01:02:38,890
What made you
suspect ventriloquism?
1141
01:02:38,970 --> 01:02:41,970
Well, for one thing,
he talked exactly like you.
1142
01:02:42,100 --> 01:02:43,470
Now wait a minute, major.
1143
01:02:43,560 --> 01:02:45,600
You may be a woman, but
you're also an army officer
1144
01:02:45,680 --> 01:02:47,220
and there's such
a thing a respect.
1145
01:02:47,220 --> 01:02:48,430
But it's true.
1146
01:02:48,520 --> 01:02:50,020
He talked exactly like you.
1147
01:02:50,100 --> 01:02:51,100
Oh, major.
1148
01:02:51,180 --> 01:02:53,720
No insubordination
intended, believe me.
1149
01:02:53,810 --> 01:02:55,430
If anyone's guilty
of such a thing,
1150
01:02:55,520 --> 01:02:56,720
it's your lieutenant stirling.
1151
01:02:56,770 --> 01:02:58,930
Why do you keep insinuating
I have something
1152
01:02:59,020 --> 01:03:02,680
to do with this lieutenant
stirling and his talking mule?
1153
01:03:02,770 --> 01:03:04,220
Well, haven't you, general?
1154
01:03:04,220 --> 01:03:07,680
I'll soon settle your mind on that.
Where is this stirling?
1155
01:03:08,520 --> 01:03:11,220
In, uh, in the psycho ward.
1156
01:03:13,220 --> 01:03:15,850
What? Well, where's the mule?
1157
01:03:15,930 --> 01:03:17,220
In the barn.
1158
01:03:17,220 --> 01:03:20,220
I can hardly believe this.
This is too normal.
1159
01:03:20,220 --> 01:03:22,520
I'd like to have a look
at this mule.
1160
01:03:27,560 --> 01:03:28,680
Hiya, Francis.
1161
01:03:28,720 --> 01:03:30,390
Beat it. Get lost.
1162
01:03:30,470 --> 01:03:32,220
I just had to sneak
out and apologize!
1163
01:03:32,310 --> 01:03:34,850
Amscray, before
they find you here.
1164
01:03:34,930 --> 01:03:36,560
I suppose you think I'm a
stupid idiot, don't you?
1165
01:03:36,560 --> 01:03:39,180
With you, Pete, that's
par for the course!
1166
01:03:39,180 --> 01:03:40,810
Yeah, but I just did
what you told me to do!
1167
01:03:40,810 --> 01:03:43,180
I didn't tell you to
mess up the whole detail.
1168
01:03:43,180 --> 01:03:46,180
You know how much it means to
me to win this old ballgame.
1169
01:03:46,180 --> 01:03:48,470
Well, me too. Well,
we're out of the runnin'.
1170
01:03:48,560 --> 01:03:50,850
And that ain't all. Have you
checked your platoon lately?
1171
01:03:50,930 --> 01:03:52,180
How could I?
1172
01:03:52,270 --> 01:03:54,140
They've fallen apart.
1173
01:03:54,180 --> 01:03:55,850
But why? They were
doing so great.
1174
01:03:55,930 --> 01:03:58,470
Morale, boy, morale. Yeah.
1175
01:03:58,770 --> 01:04:00,560
When they discovered
you were in psycho
1176
01:04:00,640 --> 01:04:02,560
and they'd been gettin'
camouflage instruction
1177
01:04:02,640 --> 01:04:04,220
from a mental case, well...
1178
01:04:04,310 --> 01:04:05,560
Shh. Shh. Pete.
1179
01:04:05,640 --> 01:04:07,180
Hit the dirt.
1180
01:04:09,350 --> 01:04:10,520
It's over here, Ben.
1181
01:04:10,600 --> 01:04:12,890
Oh, I've had mules
in my outfit before.
1182
01:04:12,970 --> 01:04:15,140
None of 'em could ever talk.
1183
01:04:15,180 --> 01:04:16,470
Yes.
1184
01:04:17,140 --> 01:04:20,140
This is the beast I saw out
near the confidence course.
1185
01:04:20,140 --> 01:04:22,140
Mangy lookin' creature.
1186
01:04:25,140 --> 01:04:27,350
So, you're the
talking mule, huh?
1187
01:04:27,810 --> 01:04:30,060
All right, talk it up.
1188
01:04:34,220 --> 01:04:37,140
This is all utter nonsense!
1189
01:04:37,890 --> 01:04:40,270
What do you mean,
utter nonsense?
1190
01:04:43,060 --> 01:04:44,140
Hmm-hmm.
1191
01:04:52,060 --> 01:04:54,020
Did you hear somethin'?
I heard you talk.
1192
01:04:54,100 --> 01:04:55,930
Well, so did I. Me?
1193
01:04:56,020 --> 01:04:57,640
It was the mule.
1194
01:04:58,970 --> 01:05:01,970
Mule, did you say something?
1195
01:05:03,600 --> 01:05:05,100
Come on, speak up!
1196
01:05:05,180 --> 01:05:07,470
Are you givin' me permission
to sound off, sir?
1197
01:05:10,560 --> 01:05:12,770
Permission granted! Sound off!
1198
01:05:13,100 --> 01:05:14,220
Well, to start with,
1199
01:05:14,310 --> 01:05:17,100
you're a narrow-minded
fuddy-duddy.
1200
01:05:17,930 --> 01:05:19,120
You probably think the top brass
1201
01:05:19,140 --> 01:05:22,100
is the machinery that
runs this man's army.
1202
01:05:22,100 --> 01:05:23,430
Horsefeathers!
1203
01:05:24,140 --> 01:05:26,100
Now, you take these wacs.
1204
01:05:26,350 --> 01:05:29,680
Everyone knows that women are here to stay.
But not you.
1205
01:05:30,600 --> 01:05:33,060
You've got the idea
they're in the service
1206
01:05:33,060 --> 01:05:35,520
just to keep your
memos circulating.
1207
01:05:36,600 --> 01:05:38,970
This is the most ridiculous...
1208
01:05:41,060 --> 01:05:42,060
Lieutenant stirling.
1209
01:05:42,140 --> 01:05:43,560
Kaye: So, that's it.
1210
01:05:44,060 --> 01:05:46,850
Huh! Just as we thought.
Ventriloquism.
1211
01:05:47,060 --> 01:05:48,850
You were right, Louise.
1212
01:05:49,930 --> 01:05:51,600
On your feet, lieutenant!
1213
01:05:52,520 --> 01:05:55,060
A narrow-minded fuddy-duddy, huh?
Pig-headed, huh?
1214
01:05:55,060 --> 01:05:57,120
Yeah, well, no, sir. If you
are, sir, I didn't say so, sir.
1215
01:05:57,140 --> 01:05:58,350
Tell him, Francis.
1216
01:05:58,430 --> 01:05:59,490
Tell him he's a narrow-minded,
1217
01:05:59,520 --> 01:06:01,060
pig-headed old fuddy-duddy.
1218
01:06:01,060 --> 01:06:02,520
I mean, tell him you said so.
1219
01:06:02,600 --> 01:06:03,740
I've heard enough
from this mule!
1220
01:06:03,770 --> 01:06:05,060
You did give him permission
to sound off, sir.
1221
01:06:05,060 --> 01:06:07,600
And I sure like the
sound he made, general.
1222
01:06:07,680 --> 01:06:09,970
We won't discuss the
opinions of a sick mind.
1223
01:06:10,060 --> 01:06:11,970
This boy needs medical care.
1224
01:06:12,060 --> 01:06:14,930
Put him back in psycho where
he belongs and keep him there!
1225
01:06:19,020 --> 01:06:20,270
Now... now look
what you've done!
1226
01:06:20,270 --> 01:06:23,020
How could you do this
to me? How? Huh, how?
1227
01:06:48,930 --> 01:06:49,970
Yes, sergeant?
1228
01:06:49,970 --> 01:06:51,560
Leemy can't find
her helmet liner
1229
01:06:51,640 --> 01:06:53,390
and Cassidy thinks
she's got a fever.
1230
01:06:53,470 --> 01:06:55,720
If you ask me, your whole
platoon's dogging it.
1231
01:06:55,810 --> 01:06:57,160
Well, we just haven't
been the same
1232
01:06:57,180 --> 01:06:59,850
since we found out what happened
to poor lieutenant stirling.
1233
01:06:59,930 --> 01:07:02,640
Don't you think you women are
carrying loyalty a little too far?
1234
01:07:03,600 --> 01:07:05,720
Woman: All right, girls.
Come on, now. Let's get busy!
1235
01:07:07,310 --> 01:07:09,350
Francis: Hey, cutie.
1236
01:07:11,520 --> 01:07:12,890
Captain.
1237
01:07:13,600 --> 01:07:14,810
Come on over here.
1238
01:07:15,970 --> 01:07:17,970
Come on. On the double.
1239
01:07:29,140 --> 01:07:30,970
Back of this truck.
1240
01:07:36,770 --> 01:07:38,600
Hey, captain.
1241
01:07:39,020 --> 01:07:40,470
Back here.
1242
01:07:48,810 --> 01:07:50,930
Oh, don't be frightened.
1243
01:07:52,520 --> 01:07:53,930
Relax.
1244
01:07:53,930 --> 01:07:57,270
The next voice you hear
is mine and nobody else's.
1245
01:07:57,350 --> 01:07:58,640
Yeah.
1246
01:07:58,720 --> 01:08:01,720
The trouble with you, babe, is
that you look like a hot tamale
1247
01:08:01,810 --> 01:08:03,850
and act like a frozen custard.
1248
01:08:04,220 --> 01:08:06,890
Do you know the best thing
that could happen to you?
1249
01:08:06,930 --> 01:08:08,310
Don't answer that.
1250
01:08:08,390 --> 01:08:10,640
Lose those captain's bars
for a couple hours!
1251
01:08:10,720 --> 01:08:13,100
Act like a woman.
Break a few rules.
1252
01:08:13,270 --> 01:08:16,310
You like Pete, don't you? Yeah.
1253
01:08:16,600 --> 01:08:19,560
And you want to believe that
he's on your side! Yeah!
1254
01:08:19,720 --> 01:08:20,890
Well, he is.
1255
01:08:20,890 --> 01:08:22,640
What's more, he could
help this operation.
1256
01:08:22,720 --> 01:08:25,890
He could pull that second platoon
right into line again. Check?
1257
01:08:26,520 --> 01:08:28,350
Well, what're you waitin' for?
1258
01:08:28,430 --> 01:08:31,720
Bust him outta that nuthouse
and let's put him into action.
1259
01:08:31,810 --> 01:08:33,020
Get goin'.
1260
01:08:35,390 --> 01:08:36,640
Typical.
1261
01:08:36,720 --> 01:08:39,770
Once those icebergs melt,
there ain't no stopping 'em.
1262
01:08:44,600 --> 01:08:45,720
Can I help you, captain?
1263
01:08:45,810 --> 01:08:48,640
I'd like to see lieutenant
stirling, please.
1264
01:08:48,720 --> 01:08:50,600
Uh, in... in here, ma'am.
1265
01:08:50,680 --> 01:08:52,060
Oh, thank you.
1266
01:09:02,560 --> 01:09:04,520
Lieutenant stirling.
Just a minute...
1267
01:09:04,600 --> 01:09:05,850
Well, captain Parker!
1268
01:09:05,850 --> 01:09:08,810
I want to apologize. I know now
it's all a horrible mistake.
1269
01:09:08,850 --> 01:09:10,060
Oh, well, it's not
so horrible now.
1270
01:09:10,060 --> 01:09:12,270
Captain, the lieutenant
is a very sick man.
1271
01:09:12,350 --> 01:09:15,060
Oh, he's no sicker than I am.
And he's got a job to do!
1272
01:09:15,140 --> 01:09:16,180
Your platoon needs you,
1273
01:09:16,270 --> 01:09:18,180
and that means the camouflage
operation needs you.
1274
01:09:18,180 --> 01:09:20,600
But he's a man! He's also a wac!
1275
01:09:20,680 --> 01:09:22,970
Lieutenant stirling, I want
you to join your platoon.
1276
01:09:23,180 --> 01:09:24,850
Captain, that's against orders.
1277
01:09:24,850 --> 01:09:26,140
Orders! This is war!
1278
01:09:26,220 --> 01:09:28,180
And you're in the army,
too, lieutenant humpert.
1279
01:09:28,270 --> 01:09:30,470
And tomorrow we'll be fighting
your battle out there.
1280
01:09:30,560 --> 01:09:32,560
But it is against orders.
1281
01:09:33,140 --> 01:09:34,810
Lieutenant...
1282
01:09:36,850 --> 01:09:37,970
What do you say?
1283
01:09:38,060 --> 01:09:40,060
Well, it's orders are orders,
1284
01:09:40,140 --> 01:09:42,810
and you heard me tell
the captain, orders.
1285
01:09:43,350 --> 01:09:44,930
Oh!
1286
01:09:45,020 --> 01:09:46,310
Well!
1287
01:09:46,810 --> 01:09:49,140
What you want me to do?
Just anything!
1288
01:09:49,220 --> 01:09:50,890
Well, we've got to
smuggle him out of here
1289
01:09:50,970 --> 01:09:52,720
past that guard.
1290
01:09:53,680 --> 01:09:56,310
Hey, you could lend
him your uniform.
1291
01:09:56,390 --> 01:09:58,070
Why, yes. You could lend me...
Her uniform?
1292
01:09:58,140 --> 01:09:59,350
A woman's uniform?
1293
01:09:59,430 --> 01:10:00,470
He's a wac, isn't he?
1294
01:10:00,560 --> 01:10:02,160
Oh, now wait. Things are going
just a little bit too far.
1295
01:10:02,180 --> 01:10:03,680
Well, you want to
help us, don't you?
1296
01:10:03,770 --> 01:10:04,810
Well, yeah, but I...
1297
01:10:04,810 --> 01:10:06,270
Lieutenant, all those
women need you.
1298
01:10:06,350 --> 01:10:08,350
Uh, really? Well, I...
1299
01:10:08,430 --> 01:10:09,780
Quick! You've got
to get undressed!
1300
01:10:09,810 --> 01:10:10,810
Undressed? Yes. Yes!
1301
01:10:10,810 --> 01:10:12,810
Well, how much of my uniform?
1302
01:10:12,810 --> 01:10:14,930
Uh, do you think just
the outside would do?
1303
01:10:14,970 --> 01:10:17,390
Well, I'm afraid what I've
got to put inside won't do!
1304
01:10:17,470 --> 01:10:19,810
Hurry. We haven't got much time.
1305
01:10:19,890 --> 01:10:21,270
Quick!
1306
01:10:21,350 --> 01:10:23,150
I don't know whether I
want to do this or not.
1307
01:10:23,180 --> 01:10:24,740
Now, really, I...
Give me your bathrobe!
1308
01:10:24,770 --> 01:10:26,020
Oh, for heaven's sake.
1309
01:10:26,100 --> 01:10:28,140
Now your pajamas. My pajamas?
1310
01:10:28,430 --> 01:10:29,520
Here's the robe.
1311
01:10:29,600 --> 01:10:30,970
Humpert: Yes, and...
And here's my dress!
1312
01:10:30,970 --> 01:10:31,970
Hurry!
1313
01:10:32,060 --> 01:10:33,990
I don't know whether it'll fit or not!
Oh, that doesn't matter.
1314
01:10:34,020 --> 01:10:36,060
He's such a little thing.
And here's the slip.
1315
01:10:36,140 --> 01:10:38,060
Yes. Tell him to
squeeze into it.
1316
01:10:38,140 --> 01:10:39,270
Here they are!
1317
01:10:39,350 --> 01:10:41,770
Okay. Now, if I catch
cold, I'm gonna blame you.
1318
01:10:41,770 --> 01:10:44,350
Oh, these are just the tops.
I've gotta have the bottoms, too.
1319
01:10:44,430 --> 01:10:46,430
The bottoms, too? Yes. Hurry!
1320
01:10:46,520 --> 01:10:47,770
Okay.
1321
01:10:49,470 --> 01:10:51,770
Quick! The girls
will be leaving.
1322
01:10:51,770 --> 01:10:53,470
Humpert: Oh, I'm so cold. Here!
1323
01:10:53,560 --> 01:10:54,850
Oh, my. Do you think it would...
1324
01:10:54,930 --> 01:10:56,030
Now the shoes and stockings.
1325
01:10:56,060 --> 01:10:59,430
The shoes and the... oh, do I
have to take them off, too? My.
1326
01:10:59,680 --> 01:11:02,100
Is it a bird? Is it a plane?
1327
01:11:02,390 --> 01:11:04,310
No, it's superwoman.
1328
01:11:04,560 --> 01:11:05,970
Very funny. Very funny.
1329
01:11:06,100 --> 01:11:07,520
I'll bet you got me into this.
1330
01:11:07,600 --> 01:11:09,390
And tres chic, too.
1331
01:11:14,140 --> 01:11:15,930
Oh-oh! Hey!
1332
01:11:16,720 --> 01:11:18,720
Oh, why did I ever...
1333
01:11:18,970 --> 01:11:21,600
Oh! Spaceship number seven.
1334
01:11:21,680 --> 01:11:23,720
I'm getting you
clearly. Mmm-hmm.
1335
01:11:24,020 --> 01:11:25,970
Oh, general. Oh.
1336
01:11:26,640 --> 01:11:29,720
No, nursie, just your darling
little mule talking to you.
1337
01:11:33,180 --> 01:11:35,720
You are such a girl.
1338
01:11:36,520 --> 01:11:38,720
No, no, no!
1339
01:11:39,270 --> 01:11:41,350
Yes, yes, yes!
1340
01:11:41,430 --> 01:11:44,810
And no time to faint until we
get lover boy put together.
1341
01:11:45,350 --> 01:11:48,220
Well, just don't stand
there with egg on your face!
1342
01:11:48,350 --> 01:11:50,520
No, I was just going.
1343
01:11:50,600 --> 01:11:51,600
Get goin'!
1344
01:11:52,270 --> 01:11:54,640
What's taking you
so long, lieutenant?
1345
01:11:54,680 --> 01:11:57,310
Well, it's just that I'm not used to
getting in these things, that's all.
1346
01:11:57,310 --> 01:12:00,060
Captain, what're you going to use
for hair on your new sister wac?
1347
01:12:00,350 --> 01:12:02,680
That's right. We've got to
fake a wig out of something.
1348
01:12:02,720 --> 01:12:04,680
A wig? Oh, no.
1349
01:12:05,310 --> 01:12:07,020
I've got it. Horsehair!
1350
01:12:07,100 --> 01:12:08,220
How about it, Francis?
1351
01:12:08,310 --> 01:12:11,060
Horsehair? Me and my big mouth.
1352
01:12:11,270 --> 01:12:13,680
Well, anything for the cause.
Get the scissors.
1353
01:12:13,720 --> 01:12:15,180
Oh, scissors. Scissors!
1354
01:12:15,270 --> 01:12:16,720
Yeah. Francis: Come on, nurse!
1355
01:12:16,810 --> 01:12:19,060
They're over here. Here they are.
Oh, there!
1356
01:12:20,970 --> 01:12:23,680
Now don't make this
a butch, captain.
1357
01:12:23,680 --> 01:12:24,720
Well!
1358
01:12:25,100 --> 01:12:26,640
Hup-huh!
1359
01:12:30,220 --> 01:12:32,180
Ow! Ooh, you're hurting me!
1360
01:12:32,270 --> 01:12:34,310
Oh. Oh, I'm sorry, Francis.
1361
01:12:39,930 --> 01:12:41,600
Good night, corporal.
1362
01:12:42,100 --> 01:12:43,810
Good night, captain.
1363
01:13:06,060 --> 01:13:08,640
Lieutenant stirling
is not to be disturbed.
1364
01:13:08,640 --> 01:13:10,140
Yes, ma'am.
1365
01:13:10,680 --> 01:13:13,850
Whatever you're thinking,
corporal, it's not true!
1366
01:13:19,930 --> 01:13:22,600
Louise: Tomorrow we women will
be involved in an operation
1367
01:13:22,600 --> 01:13:24,930
that will test the mettle
of every one of us.
1368
01:13:25,180 --> 01:13:26,640
You are all volunteers,
1369
01:13:26,720 --> 01:13:29,810
and I am grateful for
your efforts and courage.
1370
01:13:30,600 --> 01:13:34,600
By tomorrow evening, I feel
sure that we will have proved
1371
01:13:34,600 --> 01:13:37,270
that when we wacs say
we can do something,
1372
01:13:37,350 --> 01:13:38,720
we can do it.
1373
01:13:40,140 --> 01:13:41,600
Good luck.
1374
01:13:55,890 --> 01:13:57,390
Louise: Lieutenant!
1375
01:13:57,640 --> 01:13:59,310
What's the meaning of this?
1376
01:13:59,390 --> 01:14:01,270
I'm responsible, major.
1377
01:14:01,350 --> 01:14:03,560
Well, you see, I felt the
urgency was so great...
1378
01:14:03,600 --> 01:14:06,140
Well, there wasn't time
to consult with you.
1379
01:14:06,220 --> 01:14:08,470
I believe that lieutenant
stirling can help us.
1380
01:14:08,560 --> 01:14:10,560
You know the low morale
of second platoon
1381
01:14:10,560 --> 01:14:13,180
and what it'll mean
to have him back.
1382
01:14:13,390 --> 01:14:15,720
And I know lieutenant
stirling wants to help.
1383
01:14:15,810 --> 01:14:16,850
Well, I...
1384
01:14:17,180 --> 01:14:19,310
And he still is in the wac.
1385
01:14:20,560 --> 01:14:22,390
He'd better come
through for us tomorrow
1386
01:14:22,470 --> 01:14:24,180
or he'll never
get out of the wac.
1387
01:14:24,600 --> 01:14:26,680
Dig up some field gear.
1388
01:14:27,680 --> 01:14:29,180
Yes, ma'am.
1389
01:14:43,020 --> 01:14:44,560
Woman driver.
1390
01:15:07,430 --> 01:15:09,140
Covers on four.
1391
01:15:11,680 --> 01:15:12,930
Follow me.
1392
01:15:14,060 --> 01:15:16,850
Man: This is blue.
I read you loud and clear.
1393
01:15:16,930 --> 01:15:18,600
Stand by. Over.
1394
01:15:26,470 --> 01:15:27,470
General. Huh?
1395
01:15:27,560 --> 01:15:29,720
May I get you an aspirin? Aw.
1396
01:15:31,810 --> 01:15:35,270
General, the white army has taken
its initial position at point able.
1397
01:15:35,350 --> 01:15:36,910
The demonstration
is officially started.
1398
01:15:36,930 --> 01:15:38,270
What happens now, general?
1399
01:15:38,350 --> 01:15:40,910
Thank you, Charlie. Well, George,
I'm just an observer like yourself.
1400
01:15:40,930 --> 01:15:43,470
Unless I miss my guess,
in exactly 60 seconds
1401
01:15:43,470 --> 01:15:46,140
recon planes will be coming
over from lassen field.
1402
01:15:46,220 --> 01:15:48,220
In 30 minutes, aerial
photos will be developed
1403
01:15:48,310 --> 01:15:51,930
and we'll have major Simpson's
lovely ladies pin-pointed.
1404
01:16:34,640 --> 01:16:36,060
Hi. Oh, I beg your pardon.
1405
01:16:36,140 --> 01:16:37,810
Be my guest? Thank you.
1406
01:17:01,220 --> 01:17:03,310
Watch out for that gimmick.
1407
01:17:05,850 --> 01:17:07,390
Say, you know something?
1408
01:17:07,390 --> 01:17:09,770
Those wacs might look
pretty keen in polka dots.
1409
01:17:19,680 --> 01:17:21,100
Nothing.
1410
01:17:21,180 --> 01:17:23,140
Nothing? Nothing, general.
1411
01:17:23,350 --> 01:17:26,140
You don't mean to tell me
that that isn't something?
1412
01:17:26,220 --> 01:17:28,350
Well, that's your field
headquarters, sir.
1413
01:17:28,350 --> 01:17:29,890
Is it? It is?
1414
01:17:54,720 --> 01:17:57,600
Hey, uh, that's a might right
pretty dress you got there, sis.
1415
01:17:57,680 --> 01:17:59,180
I've never seen it before.
1416
01:17:59,270 --> 01:18:00,970
Glad you all like it.
1417
01:18:01,100 --> 01:18:02,930
Sure wish I could read writin'.
1418
01:18:02,970 --> 01:18:04,220
Man: Hey, there, bud!
1419
01:18:04,850 --> 01:18:05,930
Hi, there.
1420
01:18:06,020 --> 01:18:07,310
Run for it, beauregard!
1421
01:18:07,310 --> 01:18:09,560
They're draftin' again!
Draftin'?
1422
01:18:09,720 --> 01:18:11,430
Take it easy, son!
1423
01:18:11,640 --> 01:18:12,890
Who we fightin' this time?
1424
01:18:12,970 --> 01:18:14,520
Did you see any wacs go by here?
1425
01:18:14,600 --> 01:18:15,970
Wacs? Wacs?
1426
01:18:16,060 --> 01:18:17,720
Yeah. You know, female soldiers.
1427
01:18:17,810 --> 01:18:20,310
Oh, them! Oh, they...
They went, uh...
1428
01:18:20,350 --> 01:18:22,310
No, no. They went, uh...
1429
01:18:22,520 --> 01:18:24,310
They went that-a-way.
1430
01:18:25,970 --> 01:18:27,390
Thanks. Let's go!
1431
01:18:54,270 --> 01:18:56,350
Hilstrom: Okay, girls, come on.
1432
01:18:57,270 --> 01:18:58,810
Hey, captain.
1433
01:19:12,270 --> 01:19:13,470
Plane!
1434
01:19:17,970 --> 01:19:19,350
Take cover!
1435
01:19:27,770 --> 01:19:30,020
They're really pouring
on the pressure. Yeah.
1436
01:19:30,100 --> 01:19:31,850
We've still got eight
more miles to go! Whew!
1437
01:19:31,850 --> 01:19:33,810
I think maybe we'd better
take the offensive.
1438
01:19:33,930 --> 01:19:36,310
Yeah. How do we do that?
Well, let's see.
1439
01:19:37,390 --> 01:19:40,220
The idea first is to steal
one of their walkie-talkies.
1440
01:19:40,270 --> 01:19:42,180
Oh, I see. And then intercept
their messages, huh?
1441
01:19:42,180 --> 01:19:43,810
Sure. Mmm-hmm. Well, do
you think you can do it?
1442
01:19:43,810 --> 01:19:46,220
Well, I'll need a volunteer.
1443
01:19:46,390 --> 01:19:50,390
Are there any volunteers
for this hazardous mission?
1444
01:19:53,770 --> 01:19:55,100
Well?
1445
01:19:55,220 --> 01:19:56,970
Now, look, Francis,
I can't take the chance.
1446
01:19:57,100 --> 01:19:59,200
If I mess up this operation,
I'll never get out of the wacs.
1447
01:19:59,220 --> 01:20:00,970
All those who don't
want to volunteer,
1448
01:20:01,100 --> 01:20:02,970
take one step backward.
1449
01:20:04,060 --> 01:20:06,770
The idea is, exchange
one of our walkie-talkies
1450
01:20:06,850 --> 01:20:07,930
with one of theirs.
1451
01:20:08,100 --> 01:20:10,470
That way we'll be tuned
into their frequency.
1452
01:20:10,560 --> 01:20:13,140
Now, this is how you'll do it.
1453
01:20:13,180 --> 01:20:14,180
Yeah?
1454
01:20:18,180 --> 01:20:20,060
Hey, look at this. What is it?
1455
01:20:20,270 --> 01:20:21,640
A gal's comb!
1456
01:20:21,720 --> 01:20:22,970
Nice goin'.
1457
01:20:23,060 --> 01:20:25,390
We'd better contact
a mobile unit.
1458
01:20:27,970 --> 01:20:30,180
Hello, blue. Hello, blue.
This is diamond.
1459
01:20:30,180 --> 01:20:32,270
We've picked up
their trail. Over.
1460
01:20:33,810 --> 01:20:35,310
Right, sir. Over.
1461
01:20:36,720 --> 01:20:39,720
Hey, let's have a little
camouflage discipline.
1462
01:20:39,970 --> 01:20:40,970
Sorry.
1463
01:20:41,600 --> 01:20:43,270
Fred: Is this your first hitch?
1464
01:20:43,350 --> 01:20:45,060
You should know
better than that.
1465
01:20:45,140 --> 01:20:47,100
Let's get it out quick
before they see the smoke.
1466
01:21:00,020 --> 01:21:01,140
Lieutenant: Which way, soldier?
1467
01:21:01,140 --> 01:21:03,270
Fred: Well they must've come this way, sir.
We found a girl's comb.
1468
01:21:03,270 --> 01:21:05,850
Show him the comb, George.
George: Here you are, sir.
1469
01:21:05,930 --> 01:21:07,970
Fred: It's about time those
wacs let down their hair
1470
01:21:08,060 --> 01:21:10,470
and gave us some
kind of a clue, sir.
1471
01:21:10,560 --> 01:21:12,600
Lieutenant: It might be a decoy,
1472
01:21:12,680 --> 01:21:14,810
but I think we'd better
contact field headquarters
1473
01:21:14,890 --> 01:21:16,970
and see if it fits in
with the plot map.
1474
01:21:17,140 --> 01:21:18,140
Okay, let's go.
1475
01:21:18,220 --> 01:21:19,680
Wait a minute, sir.
My walkie-talkie.
1476
01:21:41,100 --> 01:21:44,100
Help! Help! They got me!
1477
01:21:44,680 --> 01:21:47,100
Well, what do you know?
We hooked the wrong fish.
1478
01:21:47,640 --> 01:21:50,350
Francis! Francis, get
me outta here, will ya?
1479
01:21:51,430 --> 01:21:54,060
Shh. Easy does it. There.
1480
01:21:58,850 --> 01:22:00,930
Lieutenant! Two patrols
are approaching.
1481
01:22:00,970 --> 01:22:02,100
What?
1482
01:22:04,430 --> 01:22:06,100
That's nice work, lieutenant.
1483
01:22:06,100 --> 01:22:07,100
Thanks.
1484
01:22:07,520 --> 01:22:09,060
Mission accomplished.
1485
01:22:09,100 --> 01:22:11,470
Yeah, and two enemy
patrols are approaching.
1486
01:22:11,560 --> 01:22:13,470
Aah! Come on, let's go!
1487
01:22:14,140 --> 01:22:15,970
Aw... aren't you coming with me?
1488
01:22:16,060 --> 01:22:18,600
No, I've gotta untangle
this mess you made.
1489
01:22:18,680 --> 01:22:20,600
Gimme that hearin' aid.
1490
01:22:20,770 --> 01:22:23,140
Come on. Hmm-mmm.
1491
01:22:24,270 --> 01:22:27,060
Oh, hello all units.
1492
01:22:27,060 --> 01:22:29,930
This is blue,
field command to patrols.
1493
01:22:30,020 --> 01:22:31,060
General kaye.
1494
01:22:31,140 --> 01:22:34,520
Charlie patrol proceed south
by southeast. Be alert.
1495
01:22:34,600 --> 01:22:37,390
Opposing forces
are wearing men's uniforms.
1496
01:22:40,270 --> 01:22:41,890
Calling dog patrol.
1497
01:22:43,060 --> 01:22:44,310
Calling dog patrol.
1498
01:22:44,390 --> 01:22:45,430
It's general kaye.
1499
01:22:45,520 --> 01:22:48,180
Dog patrol, proceed
north by northwest.
1500
01:22:48,270 --> 01:22:49,390
Be alert.
1501
01:22:49,470 --> 01:22:52,060
Opposing forces
are wearing men's uniforms.
1502
01:23:09,640 --> 01:23:10,970
Stand by, over.
1503
01:23:11,020 --> 01:23:12,390
I gave no such orders.
1504
01:23:12,470 --> 01:23:14,390
You know I gave no such orders.
1505
01:23:14,470 --> 01:23:15,970
Tell them that...
1506
01:23:16,970 --> 01:23:18,390
That's it.
1507
01:23:18,970 --> 01:23:21,100
The white army's tuned
in on our frequency.
1508
01:23:21,180 --> 01:23:23,970
They're giving commands
and intercepting ours.
1509
01:23:24,180 --> 01:23:25,430
Yeah.
1510
01:23:25,720 --> 01:23:27,970
This is our first bit of luck.
1511
01:23:28,970 --> 01:23:32,890
Corporal, we're going to
give those wacs some orders
1512
01:23:32,970 --> 01:23:34,050
that will cook their goose.
1513
01:23:34,100 --> 01:23:35,140
Yes, sir.
1514
01:23:35,270 --> 01:23:37,970
Hey, Pete, give this
thing a listen, quick.
1515
01:23:38,390 --> 01:23:39,720
Man: Attention all patrols.
1516
01:23:39,810 --> 01:23:41,970
Mmm-hmm. This is unit blue.
1517
01:23:41,970 --> 01:23:44,970
The white army is now
bracketed in zone twelve.
1518
01:23:44,970 --> 01:23:48,600
Deploy east and west
of hill 1-1-8 to intercept.
1519
01:23:48,680 --> 01:23:49,680
Francis: Oh.
1520
01:23:49,770 --> 01:23:51,970
That... that must be
this hill right here.
1521
01:23:51,970 --> 01:23:53,970
Hey, look, it's not covered!
1522
01:23:54,350 --> 01:23:56,810
He probably figured we'd never
dare cross it, too exposed!
1523
01:23:56,890 --> 01:23:58,220
That's our answer.
1524
01:23:58,310 --> 01:24:00,180
Hill 1-1-8, here we come.
1525
01:24:00,560 --> 01:24:03,220
Simmer down, captain.
This might be a trap.
1526
01:24:03,390 --> 01:24:05,390
But it's our only
chance, Francis.
1527
01:24:05,470 --> 01:24:08,180
If we're lucky, we'll... we'll
slip right through their lines.
1528
01:24:08,270 --> 01:24:10,770
Francis: I'm tellin' ya, Pete.
This could be a trap.
1529
01:25:11,890 --> 01:25:14,720
The blue army.
It's there. It's a trap.
1530
01:25:15,020 --> 01:25:16,270
Francis was right.
1531
01:25:16,640 --> 01:25:18,850
Someday you'll believe me.
1532
01:25:19,180 --> 01:25:21,600
We'll have to retreat
on the double.
1533
01:25:21,680 --> 01:25:23,890
Get sergeant kipp. Yes, captain.
1534
01:25:27,890 --> 01:25:30,520
Did I hear you
say retreat, captain?
1535
01:25:30,930 --> 01:25:32,430
What else can we do?
1536
01:25:32,520 --> 01:25:34,930
Well we can give 'em credit
for havin' some brains.
1537
01:25:34,970 --> 01:25:37,220
They've got our rear
covered and re-covered.
1538
01:25:37,350 --> 01:25:38,810
We go forward.
1539
01:25:38,890 --> 01:25:40,350
Into their waiting arms?
1540
01:25:40,520 --> 01:25:42,770
Into their smoky eyes, yeah.
1541
01:25:44,890 --> 01:25:45,930
Right.
1542
01:25:46,020 --> 01:25:48,180
A smoke screen.
Francis: You betcha.
1543
01:25:48,850 --> 01:25:51,060
Now come over here
and pick my pocket.
1544
01:25:52,600 --> 01:25:54,060
All right, come on
over, captain.
1545
01:25:54,140 --> 01:25:56,060
We got the "o" smoke.
1546
01:25:57,720 --> 01:25:58,850
Yes, sir.
1547
01:25:59,310 --> 01:26:01,060
Yes, sir. Over.
1548
01:26:01,850 --> 01:26:03,220
Forward, men.
1549
01:26:16,560 --> 01:26:17,850
Ready grenades.
1550
01:26:21,470 --> 01:26:22,470
Fire!
1551
01:26:54,680 --> 01:26:55,810
Ugh!
1552
01:26:58,810 --> 01:27:00,810
Ooh! Happy iandin', soldier.
1553
01:27:08,810 --> 01:27:10,930
Ooh. There's a real
belly-flopper.
1554
01:27:38,890 --> 01:27:42,140
I'll scout a bit, sir, for
a way across the gully.
1555
01:27:51,140 --> 01:27:53,930
Francis: Well, don't stand there, men.
Jump, jump!
1556
01:27:54,020 --> 01:27:55,720
Yes, general. Yes, sir!
1557
01:27:55,930 --> 01:27:57,890
Kaye: What... what is this?
1558
01:27:58,470 --> 01:28:01,100
Who said that? Who's
giving orders around here?
1559
01:28:01,180 --> 01:28:02,720
I am, sir. What's wrong?
1560
01:28:02,770 --> 01:28:04,770
What's wrong?
Have you gone crazy?
1561
01:28:04,930 --> 01:28:07,720
Don't stand there. Jump. Jump.
1562
01:28:08,520 --> 01:28:09,640
Yes, sir!
1563
01:28:11,270 --> 01:28:12,720
Francis: Captain! With your men.
1564
01:28:12,720 --> 01:28:14,680
What are you waiting for? Jump!
1565
01:28:14,720 --> 01:28:16,000
But... but general...
1566
01:28:16,600 --> 01:28:18,060
Come back here, captain!
1567
01:28:18,140 --> 01:28:20,970
I could you men
court-martialed for this!
1568
01:28:21,060 --> 01:28:23,810
Francis: Don't stand there!
Jump, general!
1569
01:28:26,680 --> 01:28:27,720
Where's that coming from?
1570
01:28:27,810 --> 01:28:29,680
Just a little overdue
payment, general,
1571
01:28:29,680 --> 01:28:31,220
on that Burma bridge account.
1572
01:28:31,430 --> 01:28:34,060
See you at point baker
when the ladies win!
1573
01:28:34,430 --> 01:28:35,680
Yes, sir!
1574
01:28:39,720 --> 01:28:41,680
After them. Get that mule.
1575
01:28:41,680 --> 01:28:44,680
Shoot that lieutenant!
I mean, disqualify him.
1576
01:28:47,140 --> 01:28:48,620
If you don't mind some
rough goin', general,
1577
01:28:48,640 --> 01:28:49,740
there's a crossing
downhill a ways
1578
01:28:49,770 --> 01:28:51,080
that'll bring us out
near point baker.
1579
01:28:51,100 --> 01:28:52,720
Get in that Jeep, soldier.
1580
01:29:02,640 --> 01:29:05,680
Oh, general, maybe you'll
need some aspirin now!
1581
01:29:09,310 --> 01:29:11,220
Three minutes, general.
1582
01:29:12,100 --> 01:29:13,640
Any luck, general?
1583
01:29:13,640 --> 01:29:15,640
Well, they
haven't reached here yet,
1584
01:29:15,680 --> 01:29:17,180
have they?
1585
01:29:22,520 --> 01:29:24,970
Well, major, Have they?
1586
01:29:25,060 --> 01:29:26,770
No, sir, not yet.
1587
01:29:26,850 --> 01:29:29,640
I think I can guarantee
now that they won't.
1588
01:29:29,640 --> 01:29:31,310
We've plotted their
line of advance
1589
01:29:31,390 --> 01:29:33,770
and got them sewed up
tight as a drum.
1590
01:29:33,890 --> 01:29:36,640
About three minutes, your little
dream will be over, Louise.
1591
01:29:36,640 --> 01:29:39,640
Aren't you cheering yourself
hoarse a bit too soon, Ben?
1592
01:29:39,890 --> 01:29:41,350
Uh, Louise.
1593
01:29:42,770 --> 01:29:44,770
You may as well know this.
1594
01:29:44,850 --> 01:29:47,060
Your girls are on their own now.
1595
01:29:47,140 --> 01:29:48,640
That, uh, little male wac
1596
01:29:48,720 --> 01:29:50,680
has been disqualified by now.
1597
01:29:50,720 --> 01:29:52,430
There are still
two minutes left.
1598
01:29:52,520 --> 01:29:54,600
Do you mind if I hope
that much longer?
1599
01:29:58,600 --> 01:30:00,060
Two minutes.
1600
01:30:07,890 --> 01:30:09,220
At ease.
1601
01:30:09,310 --> 01:30:11,310
What about that lieutenant?
Did you disqualify him?
1602
01:30:11,350 --> 01:30:13,600
Uh, no, sir. We finally caught
up with this jackass, sir,
1603
01:30:13,600 --> 01:30:16,600
but there was no sign of a lieutenant
or anyone else from the white army.
1604
01:30:16,600 --> 01:30:17,720
Of course not.
1605
01:30:17,810 --> 01:30:20,220
There isn't one of 'em
within miles of us.
1606
01:30:20,310 --> 01:30:21,720
You want to bet?
1607
01:30:23,600 --> 01:30:25,180
Who said that?
1608
01:30:26,430 --> 01:30:27,770
Mmm-hmm.
1609
01:30:31,220 --> 01:30:32,350
You men carry on.
1610
01:30:34,390 --> 01:30:36,060
Leave that donkey.
1611
01:30:52,140 --> 01:30:54,140
It's a trick.
It's gotta be a trick.
1612
01:30:54,220 --> 01:30:56,770
Why? What trick is
there to talking?
1613
01:30:56,850 --> 01:30:58,560
Any fool can do it.
1614
01:30:58,560 --> 01:30:59,600
Oh.
1615
01:30:59,680 --> 01:31:01,720
Unless he loses his voice.
1616
01:31:03,430 --> 01:31:05,850
And that ain't all you
lost, general kaye.
1617
01:31:05,930 --> 01:31:07,350
Look!
1618
01:31:33,770 --> 01:31:35,890
Not a wac for miles, huh?
1619
01:31:38,930 --> 01:31:41,430
Open wide, general.
Wider. It won't hurt.
1620
01:31:41,520 --> 01:31:43,970
What do you think
that is, a barn door?
1621
01:31:44,810 --> 01:31:47,520
General! We'd certainly like
a few words from you, general,
1622
01:31:47,520 --> 01:31:49,470
straight from the horse's
mouth, you might say.
1623
01:31:49,520 --> 01:31:51,520
And that's the
way you're gonna get it, my boy.
1624
01:31:51,520 --> 01:31:53,470
If I can talk through
this throat of mine.
1625
01:31:53,520 --> 01:31:56,140
Right over there, sir.
We're all ready for you.
1626
01:32:01,470 --> 01:32:02,890
Okay, Fred?
1627
01:32:05,470 --> 01:32:08,600
Now it is my pleasure and privilege
to introduce to the TV audience
1628
01:32:08,680 --> 01:32:10,470
the man who came
from the Pentagon
1629
01:32:10,470 --> 01:32:12,600
to arrange this
camouflage operation.
1630
01:32:13,020 --> 01:32:16,310
Ladies and gentlemen, here
he is, general Ben kaye!
1631
01:32:17,470 --> 01:32:19,270
Francis: I'll have to be brief,
1632
01:32:19,350 --> 01:32:21,270
because of a touch
of laryngitis.
1633
01:32:21,350 --> 01:32:24,310
But having observed
the camouflage demonstration
1634
01:32:24,390 --> 01:32:27,560
by this splendid group
of fort chase wa cs,
1635
01:32:28,350 --> 01:32:31,470
I must pay tribute to
them and admit defeat.
1636
01:32:39,020 --> 01:32:41,390
A magnificent job, ladies.
1637
01:32:41,770 --> 01:32:43,060
Magnificent!
1638
01:32:43,140 --> 01:32:45,430
But with major
Simpson's leadership,
1639
01:32:45,520 --> 01:32:47,430
how could it be otherwise?
1640
01:32:49,560 --> 01:32:51,180
I just can't believe it.
1641
01:32:51,430 --> 01:32:53,430
A salute to company c.
1642
01:32:53,430 --> 01:32:56,560
The army is proud of you. Proud!
1643
01:33:10,430 --> 01:33:11,470
You all right, general?
1644
01:33:11,560 --> 01:33:12,680
Of course I'm all right.
1645
01:33:12,770 --> 01:33:14,270
I want you to arrest that mule.
1646
01:33:14,350 --> 01:33:16,030
Have that mule court-martialed...
Mule, sir?
1647
01:33:16,060 --> 01:33:17,410
That mule! Get that mule!
At once, sir.
1648
01:33:17,430 --> 01:33:18,950
Right now! Get that mule.
At once, sir.
1649
01:33:31,390 --> 01:33:34,220
Boy, I never had
a general before!
1650
01:33:39,390 --> 01:33:41,390
This is really the end.
1651
01:33:41,390 --> 01:33:43,470
Let's get outta here,
lieutenant!
122274
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