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00:00:02,394 --> 00:00:04,652
♪ It seems todaythat all you see ♪
2
00:00:04,730 --> 00:00:07,731
♪ Is violence in moviesand sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:07,824 --> 00:00:11,343
♪ But where are thosegood old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,495 --> 00:00:14,346
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:14,498 --> 00:00:17,832
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
00:00:17,852 --> 00:00:21,411
♪ Lucky there's a man whopositively can do ♪
7
00:00:21,430 --> 00:00:22,855
♪ All the things that make us ♪
8
00:00:23,006 --> 00:00:24,172
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
9
00:00:24,266 --> 00:00:30,112
♪ He's... a...Fam... ily... Guy. ♪
10
00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:37,369
Everyone, welcome
to our summer block party.
11
00:00:37,521 --> 00:00:39,263
- Now, eat and drink up.
- Yeah.
12
00:00:39,356 --> 00:00:42,041
And also enjoy Pandora.
It's great music,
13
00:00:42,268 --> 00:00:44,192
and all the ads
are tailored to me.
14
00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:45,769
Try Hims for Men.
15
00:00:45,862 --> 00:00:47,938
If you're experiencing
erectile dysfunction,
16
00:00:48,031 --> 00:00:50,457
Hims for Men
delivers right to your door.
17
00:00:50,609 --> 00:00:52,442
Don't tell your doctor
about your heart problem,
18
00:00:52,461 --> 00:00:54,628
or he might not
give you the penis pill.
19
00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:55,888
Hims for Men.
20
00:00:56,115 --> 00:00:58,115
Uh, must be some kind of mix-up.
21
00:00:58,208 --> 00:00:59,874
I-I don't even know
what that product is.
22
00:00:59,894 --> 00:01:01,774
Hi. I have an unmarked,
discreet delivery
23
00:01:01,954 --> 00:01:04,266
- addressed to "Peter Griffin's Penis"?
- Ah, yes.
24
00:01:04,290 --> 00:01:06,973
I will take these
business papers. Thank you.
25
00:01:07,126 --> 00:01:08,625
This was supposed
to be here yesterday.
26
00:01:08,644 --> 00:01:11,052
I had to use tape
and a Popsicle stick.
27
00:01:11,130 --> 00:01:14,131
All right,
time to Slippery Slide.
28
00:01:14,149 --> 00:01:16,891
You sure?
Slippery Slides are a nightmare
29
00:01:16,969 --> 00:01:18,985
of unexpected bumps and mishaps.
30
00:01:19,138 --> 00:01:21,080
Really?
'Cause the multicultural kids
31
00:01:21,307 --> 00:01:22,973
on the box
seem to be having fun.
32
00:01:23,066 --> 00:01:24,232
- Hi.
- Hola.
33
00:01:24,326 --> 00:01:26,810
I'm a real boy
who was put here by a witch.
34
00:01:26,903 --> 00:01:29,129
Okay, Bri, watch and learn.
35
00:01:32,668 --> 00:01:34,668
Yay! Fun!
36
00:01:34,820 --> 00:01:36,653
Aah!
37
00:01:36,746 --> 00:01:39,172
Ah, public humiliation.
38
00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:41,658
You must be
a United States senator.
39
00:01:41,827 --> 00:01:43,176
Good one, Joe.
40
00:01:43,329 --> 00:01:46,087
Come join me at the barbecue
with the other favored men.
41
00:01:46,107 --> 00:01:47,681
Yeah, we're having a blast.
42
00:01:47,833 --> 00:01:50,359
No, no, no. No, no. No.
43
00:01:53,263 --> 00:01:54,263
Wow, Meg insisted
44
00:01:54,431 --> 00:01:56,242
that one corner of the grill
be vegan,
45
00:01:56,266 --> 00:01:58,300
and then she ate a rib
in front of everybody.
46
00:01:58,360 --> 00:02:00,285
She's all over the place today.
47
00:02:01,530 --> 00:02:03,288
Oh, my God,
there's blood in my pants.
48
00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:04,848
And it's coming from my crotch.
49
00:02:04,867 --> 00:02:07,351
I've seen enough commercials
during The Good Wife
50
00:02:07,369 --> 00:02:09,202
to know there's
only one explanation.
51
00:02:09,355 --> 00:02:12,631
Rupert, I'm having my period.
52
00:02:12,782 --> 00:02:14,191
It's a true rite of passage,
53
00:02:14,209 --> 00:02:16,468
like an Italian's baptism.
54
00:02:16,545 --> 00:02:18,745
In the name of the Father,
the Son and the Holy Ghost,
55
00:02:18,788 --> 00:02:20,213
you will now drive a Camaro,
56
00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:22,267
hate every minute
of your yearly vacation to Italy
57
00:02:22,292 --> 00:02:25,202
and get very upset
when your sister starts to date.
58
00:02:25,295 --> 00:02:26,887
Sorry I'm late. I brought Clark.
59
00:02:26,981 --> 00:02:28,221
Hey!
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00:02:28,374 --> 00:02:29,706
Father, drown me in this water.
61
00:02:29,799 --> 00:02:31,400
She's breaking my heart.
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00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:39,065
I'm exhausted.
Three beers at a barbecue,
63
00:02:39,218 --> 00:02:41,809
and my whole night
was hand-against-the-wall pees.
64
00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:43,720
What happened to me?
I feel like...
65
00:02:43,722 --> 00:02:44,979
I feel like I'm in a funk.
66
00:02:44,999 --> 00:02:46,665
I'm also in a funk.
67
00:02:46,816 --> 00:02:50,485
But, nah, I, too,
feel age-related weariness.
68
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:53,338
Yeah, I'm also pretty down.
My real estate agent died.
69
00:02:53,565 --> 00:02:55,248
- What?
- My real estate agent.
70
00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:57,734
Like most single men,
my only Christmas cards
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00:02:57,827 --> 00:03:00,737
are from my realtor
and the guy who sold me my car.
72
00:03:00,830 --> 00:03:01,847
We kind of aged together.
73
00:03:02,074 --> 00:03:04,908
♪ I seem to recognize ♪
74
00:03:04,927 --> 00:03:07,577
♪ Your face ♪
75
00:03:10,265 --> 00:03:14,676
♪ Haunting familiar,yet I can't seem ♪
76
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:17,529
♪ To place it ♪
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00:03:17,756 --> 00:03:21,015
♪ Cannot find the candleof thought ♪
78
00:03:21,035 --> 00:03:25,537
♪ To light your name ♪
79
00:03:25,689 --> 00:03:31,293
♪ Lifetimes are catching upwith me ♪
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♪ All these changestaking place ♪
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♪ I wish I'd seen the place ♪
82
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♪ But no one's ever taken me ♪
83
00:03:50,064 --> 00:03:53,790
♪ Hearts and thoughts,they fade ♪
84
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♪ Fade away ♪
85
00:03:57,404 --> 00:04:01,481
♪ Hearts and thoughts,they fade ♪
86
00:04:01,633 --> 00:04:03,391
♪ Fade. ♪
87
00:04:03,485 --> 00:04:04,243
How did he die?
88
00:04:04,470 --> 00:04:06,303
He was screwing a client's wife,
89
00:04:06,396 --> 00:04:07,396
and the guy shot him.
90
00:04:07,473 --> 00:04:08,805
You know, I'm pretty down, too.
91
00:04:08,898 --> 00:04:11,308
The other day, I was watching
the birthdays segment
92
00:04:11,326 --> 00:04:12,659
on Entertainment Tonight.
93
00:04:12,811 --> 00:04:14,902
Axl Rose is 60.
94
00:04:14,997 --> 00:04:17,647
Wow, 60?
Cleveland, how old is Heavy D?
95
00:04:17,666 --> 00:04:19,574
- Dead.
- Aw, that sucks.
96
00:04:19,668 --> 00:04:20,948
And I don't know about you guys,
97
00:04:20,986 --> 00:04:22,652
but I'm terrified
of everything now.
98
00:04:22,671 --> 00:04:23,911
Like teenagers.
99
00:04:24,006 --> 00:04:26,172
I hear that.
If I see one on my route,
100
00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:27,599
I don't deliver the mail.
101
00:04:27,751 --> 00:04:29,804
- What do you do with it?
- Throw it in the ocean.
102
00:04:29,828 --> 00:04:32,604
A seagull once fished out
a college acceptance letter.
103
00:04:32,831 --> 00:04:34,088
Got to go to Fordham.
104
00:04:34,108 --> 00:04:37,091
Welcome
to the Fordham class of 2026.
105
00:04:40,005 --> 00:04:42,930
All right.
Glad someone's excited.
106
00:04:43,025 --> 00:04:44,652
Man, what the hell
happened to us?
107
00:04:44,676 --> 00:04:46,267
Why are we such losers?
108
00:04:46,361 --> 00:04:48,345
♪ ♪
109
00:04:48,363 --> 00:04:51,698
Sounds like you fellas are
finding yourselves in a trough.
110
00:04:51,850 --> 00:04:53,199
Oh, hey, Mr. Mayor. How are you?
111
00:04:53,294 --> 00:04:56,369
Hey, can we talk about expanding
bike lanes in urban centers?
112
00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:58,143
- Quagmire, shut up.
- You shut up.
113
00:04:58,281 --> 00:05:00,518
We're not gonna change the Earth
with silence, Peter.
114
00:05:00,542 --> 00:05:01,949
If I may say so,
115
00:05:02,118 --> 00:05:05,879
I think you boys need to stop
sitting in bars and cubicles
116
00:05:06,031 --> 00:05:09,474
and go recapture
your frontier spirit.
117
00:05:09,701 --> 00:05:11,417
Two terrible airlines?
118
00:05:11,570 --> 00:05:14,054
I own a dude ranch
on the outskirts of town.
119
00:05:14,206 --> 00:05:16,464
You fellas
should spend a weekend there.
120
00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:18,650
You'd be surprised
what a man can achieve
121
00:05:18,802 --> 00:05:22,303
when he steps away
from the comforts of city life.
122
00:05:22,397 --> 00:05:23,679
I bet you'll find your courage
123
00:05:23,681 --> 00:05:26,808
and, who knows,
maybe even some peace of mind.
124
00:05:26,902 --> 00:05:29,828
Well, I think going there
sounds like a great idea.
125
00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:31,277
Yeah, it's exactly what we need.
126
00:05:31,314 --> 00:05:33,147
- I'm in!
- I've never seen a horse.
127
00:05:33,167 --> 00:05:36,001
Great, it's settled.
We are going to a dude ranch.
128
00:05:36,228 --> 00:05:37,577
- All right!
- Yeehaw!
129
00:05:37,746 --> 00:05:40,730
I happen to know Austin, Texas,
has eight-foot bicycle lanes.
130
00:05:40,899 --> 00:05:42,635
Now, I'm not looking
for anything that expansive,
131
00:05:42,659 --> 00:05:44,901
but if a greener Quahog
is what we're after,
132
00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:46,548
I think we've got to start
moving the needle.
133
00:05:46,572 --> 00:05:48,140
Oh, so just get rid
of the sidewalks?
134
00:05:48,164 --> 00:05:49,384
That's not what I'm saying, Joe.
135
00:05:49,408 --> 00:05:51,591
It sounds like that's
what you're saying.
136
00:05:51,743 --> 00:05:53,352
Hey, whatever this is?
137
00:05:53,503 --> 00:05:56,096
Wrap it up before y'all
show up to the ranch.
138
00:05:56,248 --> 00:05:58,582
Yes, sir.
And do we need special clothes
139
00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:01,276
- for ranch dressing?
- I'd wrap that up, too.
140
00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:08,116
♪ ♪
141
00:06:16,602 --> 00:06:18,935
- Wow, look at this place.
- It's pretty cool.
142
00:06:19,028 --> 00:06:21,271
Oh, that's a horse.
I've seen those.
143
00:06:21,289 --> 00:06:23,773
- Morning, fellas.
- Morning, Mr. Mayor.
144
00:06:23,792 --> 00:06:26,051
Hey, can I get a room
far away from the ice machine?
145
00:06:26,278 --> 00:06:28,128
- Ice machine?
- See, that's...
146
00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:29,757
that's why
I want to be away from it.
147
00:06:29,781 --> 00:06:32,908
Fellas, I think
we had a miscommunication.
148
00:06:32,910 --> 00:06:35,969
This isn't a hotel.
It's a working ranch.
149
00:06:36,121 --> 00:06:37,879
You'll do your chores
during the day
150
00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:39,731
and sleep in the barn at night.
151
00:06:39,883 --> 00:06:41,566
What? I thought
this was a vacation.
152
00:06:41,718 --> 00:06:43,902
Yeah, I thought it'd be fun,
like Young Guns
153
00:06:44,053 --> 00:06:46,905
with Kiefer Sutherland
and Blue Diamond Walnuts.
154
00:06:47,056 --> 00:06:48,815
Sorry, but you're not gonna find
155
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:52,035
your pioneer spirit in a hotel.
156
00:06:53,138 --> 00:06:55,080
Here, have a hat.
157
00:06:55,231 --> 00:06:57,457
My own cowboy hat.
158
00:06:59,420 --> 00:07:01,920
Listen up.
This isn't just a hat.
159
00:07:02,071 --> 00:07:03,571
It's an oath.
160
00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:07,074
An oath that you'll live
by the cowboy's code of honor.
161
00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:09,319
You'll wear it at all times.
162
00:07:09,412 --> 00:07:11,466
You'll put it over your face
when you sleep,
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00:07:11,490 --> 00:07:14,248
over your chest
when you're delivering bad news,
164
00:07:14,417 --> 00:07:16,342
and over your privates
when an outhouse
165
00:07:16,495 --> 00:07:18,770
falls down comically around you.
166
00:07:18,847 --> 00:07:20,230
Aah! Help!
167
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,167
Mine's small enough
that I don't need the hat.
168
00:07:24,260 --> 00:07:26,278
We're gonna fix that.
169
00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:34,268
Oh, Rupert, I need my heat pad,
170
00:07:34,288 --> 00:07:35,937
I need Kate, I need Leo,
171
00:07:36,031 --> 00:07:37,313
and I need ice cream.
172
00:07:37,365 --> 00:07:39,273
And I need not a word
from you about it.
173
00:07:39,367 --> 00:07:41,126
- Hey, Stewie.
- Oh, hey, Bri.
174
00:07:41,277 --> 00:07:43,444
Guess who woke up to a Red Dawn?
175
00:07:43,538 --> 00:07:44,688
- What?
- You know.
176
00:07:44,781 --> 00:07:46,465
Bobbin' with the Red Robin.
177
00:07:46,616 --> 00:07:48,816
Call off The Hunt for RedOctober, because we found it.
178
00:07:49,027 --> 00:07:50,952
Red Rover, Red Rover,
179
00:07:51,029 --> 00:07:52,862
can't go in the pool today,
over.
180
00:07:52,881 --> 00:07:54,547
None of these
are actual phrases.
181
00:07:54,700 --> 00:07:55,957
Says the man.
182
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:57,291
I'm having my period.
183
00:07:57,311 --> 00:07:59,644
It's like The Shining elevator
down there.
184
00:07:59,796 --> 00:08:01,554
My 21st Century Box
185
00:08:01,631 --> 00:08:03,815
has been conquered
by Eric the Very Red.
186
00:08:04,042 --> 00:08:05,800
Yeah, this is getting
dangerously close
187
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,301
to a Will & Grace now.
188
00:08:07,321 --> 00:08:09,040
But if you're bleeding
down there, it's clearly
189
00:08:09,064 --> 00:08:11,305
because you hurt yourself
on the Slippery Slide.
190
00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:13,307
Oh, yeah?
If I'm not having my period,
191
00:08:13,327 --> 00:08:15,327
then why am I drinking
herbal tea
192
00:08:15,478 --> 00:08:18,071
from a large earthenware mug
with no handle on it?
193
00:08:18,223 --> 00:08:20,557
Stewie, trust me,
boys can't get periods.
194
00:08:20,650 --> 00:08:23,743
Brian, it's 2022... there's
no such thing as a boy anymore.
195
00:08:23,895 --> 00:08:26,062
Or a girl. Just a vast sea
196
00:08:26,081 --> 00:08:27,655
of chubby "theys" and "thems,"
197
00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:30,233
so coddled by their
sanctimonious woke parents
198
00:08:30,252 --> 00:08:33,086
who think activism is
virtue-signaling on Instagram.
199
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:34,996
If Martin Luther King
could come back,
200
00:08:35,090 --> 00:08:36,659
and see what they were doing
in his name,
201
00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:38,791
he'd never stop throwing up.
202
00:08:41,747 --> 00:08:43,079
Maybe...
203
00:08:43,098 --> 00:08:45,315
maybe you are having
your period.
204
00:08:47,677 --> 00:08:50,587
If you fellas
are gonna become cowboys,
205
00:08:50,680 --> 00:08:53,347
the first thing we need to do
is pair you all up
206
00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:55,182
- with a horse.
- Great.
207
00:08:55,277 --> 00:08:57,369
- I want this one.
- Now, hold on, Peter.
208
00:08:57,596 --> 00:09:00,113
Real cowboys
don't choose their horse.
209
00:09:00,265 --> 00:09:02,541
The horse chooses them.
210
00:09:02,692 --> 00:09:04,709
♪ If you leave ♪
211
00:09:04,861 --> 00:09:06,770
♪ Don't leave now ♪
212
00:09:06,788 --> 00:09:09,105
♪ Please don't take ♪
213
00:09:09,124 --> 00:09:10,957
♪ My heart away ♪
214
00:09:11,109 --> 00:09:12,700
♪ Promise me ♪
215
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:15,202
♪ Just one more night ♪
216
00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:18,557
♪ Then we'll goour separate ways ♪
217
00:09:18,633 --> 00:09:22,561
♪ We've always hadtime on our sides ♪
218
00:09:22,788 --> 00:09:26,714
♪ Now it's fading fast ♪
219
00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:30,293
♪ Every second, every moment ♪
220
00:09:30,312 --> 00:09:34,147
♪ We've got to,we gotta make it last ♪
221
00:09:34,299 --> 00:09:36,299
♪ I touch you once ♪
222
00:09:36,392 --> 00:09:38,392
♪ I touch you twice ♪
223
00:09:38,486 --> 00:09:42,414
♪ I won't let go at any price ♪
224
00:09:42,641 --> 00:09:46,142
♪ I need you nowlike I need you then ♪
225
00:09:46,235 --> 00:09:49,921
♪ You always saidwe'd still be friends ♪
226
00:09:50,148 --> 00:09:53,550
♪ Someday ♪
227
00:09:55,003 --> 00:09:58,321
♪ If you leave, I won't cry ♪
228
00:09:58,414 --> 00:10:02,508
♪ I won't waste one single day ♪
229
00:10:02,585 --> 00:10:06,663
♪ But if you leave,don't look back ♪
230
00:10:06,681 --> 00:10:10,166
♪ I'll be runningthe other way ♪
231
00:10:10,185 --> 00:10:14,261
♪ Seven years wentunder the bridge ♪
232
00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:17,949
♪ Like time standing still ♪
233
00:10:18,101 --> 00:10:22,120
♪ Heaven knowswhat happens now ♪
234
00:10:22,271 --> 00:10:25,698
♪ You've got to,you got to say you. ♪
235
00:10:27,535 --> 00:10:31,020
Hey, Peter, just wanted
to make sure you're okay.
236
00:10:31,114 --> 00:10:33,092
Yeah, I was pretty bummed,
but then I found
237
00:10:33,116 --> 00:10:35,449
these great desserts
labeled "cow pie."
238
00:10:35,543 --> 00:10:37,284
Hmm.
239
00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:39,804
You're off
to a real bad start here, Peter.
240
00:10:39,956 --> 00:10:42,548
Just a real bad start.
241
00:10:42,701 --> 00:10:44,643
♪ ♪
242
00:10:56,231 --> 00:10:59,048
Wow, can't believe we're doing
a real cattle drive.
243
00:10:59,067 --> 00:11:00,884
I know, look at us.
244
00:11:00,902 --> 00:11:02,143
We're cowboys.
245
00:11:02,220 --> 00:11:05,146
Now, hold on,
you fellas ain't cowboys yet.
246
00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:07,724
Not until you blaze
your own trails.
247
00:11:07,742 --> 00:11:10,102
A buddy of mine in high school
could blaze his own trail.
248
00:11:10,153 --> 00:11:12,039
Used to do it on the floor
of the locker room
249
00:11:12,063 --> 00:11:13,897
and we'd be like, "Aah."
250
00:11:13,915 --> 00:11:15,915
While I appreciate the anecdote,
251
00:11:16,067 --> 00:11:18,735
we like to keep
our entendre singular
252
00:11:18,753 --> 00:11:19,903
out here on the prairie.
253
00:11:19,921 --> 00:11:21,012
Yes, sir.
254
00:11:21,164 --> 00:11:23,181
What I mean, fellas,
255
00:11:23,408 --> 00:11:25,166
is that to find your courage,
256
00:11:25,260 --> 00:11:27,519
you need to do
the last leg of this journey
257
00:11:27,670 --> 00:11:31,189
on your own and drive
these cattle back to camp.
258
00:11:31,416 --> 00:11:33,099
Awesome. I'll drive this one.
259
00:11:33,251 --> 00:11:36,510
Peter, the cattle chooses you.
260
00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:40,865
♪ But if you leave,don't look back ♪
261
00:11:41,092 --> 00:11:43,259
♪ I'll be running the. ♪
262
00:11:43,352 --> 00:11:45,111
♪ ♪
263
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,522
Rupert, where's
my Kotex sanitary belt?
264
00:11:48,542 --> 00:11:51,692
And do we still have
any Wampole's vaginal cones?
265
00:11:51,712 --> 00:11:53,694
Well, this is weird. No blood.
266
00:11:53,772 --> 00:11:56,297
It's only been a day,
I don't understand.
267
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,608
No, I'm not going to ask
268
00:11:58,626 --> 00:12:01,277
about feminine hygiene issues
on 4chan.
269
00:12:01,296 --> 00:12:02,940
You've got to relax
with that site, man.
270
00:12:02,964 --> 00:12:04,556
Ah, here we are.
271
00:12:04,707 --> 00:12:06,391
"Short-term, sporadic bleeding
272
00:12:06,468 --> 00:12:08,618
"is generally
not due to a period,
273
00:12:08,620 --> 00:12:10,729
but is more indicative
of spotting."
274
00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:13,022
Spotting? What's spotting?
275
00:12:15,218 --> 00:12:17,402
Oh, my God, Rupert.
276
00:12:17,629 --> 00:12:19,070
I'm pregnant!
277
00:12:19,222 --> 00:12:20,646
How did this happen?
278
00:12:20,799 --> 00:12:21,981
Ah, what do you care anyway?
279
00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,444
I'm sure you'll do
what you always do,
280
00:12:23,468 --> 00:12:25,468
and bury yourself in your work.
281
00:12:30,976 --> 00:12:32,233
I have Stewie on one.
282
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,127
He says he's been trying
your cell.
283
00:12:35,997 --> 00:12:38,648
Uh, Stewie,
he just stepped into a meeting.
284
00:12:38,666 --> 00:12:40,425
We'll have to return.
285
00:12:47,158 --> 00:12:49,392
One... two...
286
00:12:53,515 --> 00:12:55,756
This court rules
that the farmer has violated
287
00:12:55,850 --> 00:12:57,850
the Americans
with Disabilities Act.
288
00:12:57,944 --> 00:13:00,528
The farm hereby
belongs to the sheep.
289
00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:08,995
One.
290
00:13:09,180 --> 00:13:10,437
Guys, I can't go to sleep
291
00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:12,348
without watching
a Frasier rerun.
292
00:13:12,441 --> 00:13:14,241
Can one of you please
tell me a Frasier?
293
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:16,536
All right. Once upon a time,
294
00:13:16,688 --> 00:13:19,130
Frasier auditioned
for a community play...
295
00:13:19,357 --> 00:13:21,332
No, not that one.
One-one where he's with Niles.
296
00:13:21,484 --> 00:13:23,543
That's fair,
those are the best ones.
297
00:13:23,695 --> 00:13:26,712
Once upon a time,
Frasier and Niles were invited
298
00:13:26,865 --> 00:13:29,715
to a dinner party
and both brought the same wine.
299
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:33,478
Look at that, already asleep.
300
00:13:34,797 --> 00:13:36,873
Hmm, guess everyone'e sleeping.
301
00:13:36,966 --> 00:13:39,042
It's just me and you, Mr. Bear.
302
00:13:40,211 --> 00:13:41,986
B-B-B-Bear?!
303
00:13:44,065 --> 00:13:46,825
It's okay, guys, we might be
getting attacked by a bear,
304
00:13:46,976 --> 00:13:49,052
or we might just
be on Bear Scares.
305
00:13:49,054 --> 00:13:50,553
What's Bear Scares?
306
00:13:50,646 --> 00:13:53,998
Only Latvia's
number-one bear prank show.
307
00:13:54,893 --> 00:13:56,000
Aah!
308
00:13:57,078 --> 00:13:59,912
Bear Scares...
Latvia's number-one bear prank show.
309
00:14:00,065 --> 00:14:02,323
Now available on tapes
sold on blankets
310
00:14:02,417 --> 00:14:04,676
by African guys
in New York City.
311
00:14:04,752 --> 00:14:07,328
Bear Scares... gorrgul.
312
00:14:07,755 --> 00:14:09,555
Bears sound different in Latvia.
313
00:14:16,005 --> 00:14:17,413
What are we gonna do?!
314
00:14:17,432 --> 00:14:20,583
Oh, no!
The bear's going after Quagmire.
315
00:14:20,602 --> 00:14:22,193
Aah!
316
00:14:23,104 --> 00:14:24,587
I'm gonna run behind this tree
317
00:14:24,606 --> 00:14:26,366
and then the bear's
gonna drag me out.
318
00:14:26,408 --> 00:14:28,182
Me, and very clearly not a dummy
319
00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:30,017
who he then tosses around.
320
00:14:32,188 --> 00:14:33,946
Aah! Oh, no.
321
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:35,623
I'm being tossed around.
322
00:14:37,602 --> 00:14:40,753
Oh, God. Now we're all
gonna be tossed around.
323
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:45,866
Oh, no. Oh no, help.
324
00:14:45,886 --> 00:14:47,534
Make him stop.
325
00:14:47,629 --> 00:14:49,703
Aah! This is the real me!
326
00:14:49,797 --> 00:14:51,781
My dummy's riding a horse!
327
00:14:51,799 --> 00:14:53,874
Giddy-up. Yaw.
328
00:14:54,043 --> 00:14:56,311
Lil Nas X.
329
00:15:00,458 --> 00:15:02,658
Well, glad to see you're
no longer crying on the couch.
330
00:15:02,794 --> 00:15:05,069
Yes, it turns out I was wrong
about my period.
331
00:15:05,296 --> 00:15:07,071
Good. I'm glad
you came to your senses.
332
00:15:07,298 --> 00:15:09,110
- Because I'm pregnant.
- I'll pay to get rid of it.
333
00:15:09,134 --> 00:15:11,392
I-I'm sorry that's...
that's just a reflex.
334
00:15:11,527 --> 00:15:14,228
Yes, I freaked out at first,
too, but I...
335
00:15:14,397 --> 00:15:16,656
we decided it's for the best.
336
00:15:16,732 --> 00:15:19,066
So, if it's a boy,
I'm naming him Timothée
337
00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:21,235
after Timothée Chalamet,
and if it's a girl,
338
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:24,480
I'm naming her Chalamet
after Timothée Chalamet.
339
00:15:24,573 --> 00:15:26,315
What do you mean
you don't like him?
340
00:15:26,334 --> 00:15:28,334
Name another A-list actor
who couldn't
341
00:15:28,486 --> 00:15:30,244
sit in the front of a car
because he's too light.
342
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:31,671
Stewie, this is ridiculous.
343
00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:33,247
You don't like him either?
344
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:35,026
For God's sake,
he looks like a marionette
345
00:15:35,084 --> 00:15:36,768
who broke loose
from his strings.
346
00:15:36,919 --> 00:15:38,436
He's a daintier Eddie Redmayne.
347
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:41,347
If there's another actor who you
can put in your checked baggage
348
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,775
without going over the limit,
I'd like to hear it.
349
00:15:43,926 --> 00:15:45,259
Damn it, Stewie,
you're not pregnant.
350
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:47,094
Oh, boy. The dog knows
351
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:49,172
he'll lose attention
when the baby comes.
352
00:15:49,190 --> 00:15:51,691
You are the baby! A male baby.
353
00:15:51,843 --> 00:15:53,434
Look, I know all kids
354
00:15:53,602 --> 00:15:55,506
like to play make-believe
and pretend to be adults.
355
00:15:55,530 --> 00:15:57,680
Sometimes they even
convince themselves of it.
356
00:15:57,699 --> 00:15:59,532
Now, you've brought
a new twist to this...
357
00:15:59,608 --> 00:16:01,608
I don't want to diminish
how weird this is...
358
00:16:01,703 --> 00:16:02,961
But it's time for it to stop.
359
00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:05,463
Because for God's sake,
you are not pregnant.
360
00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:15,198
Okay, look, I-I didn't mean
to break it to you so harshly.
361
00:16:15,216 --> 00:16:16,882
No, no. I just realized
362
00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:19,644
now that I'm pregnant,
I can't eat sushi.
363
00:16:19,871 --> 00:16:22,038
You know what? Fine.
364
00:16:22,056 --> 00:16:23,576
- You're pregnant.
- Thank you.
365
00:16:23,632 --> 00:16:25,703
It's just too bad you're gonna
gain all that weight.
366
00:16:25,727 --> 00:16:28,302
- What?
- When you're pregnant, you gain, like, 30 pounds.
367
00:16:28,396 --> 00:16:29,879
30 pounds?
368
00:16:29,897 --> 00:16:31,489
But I only weigh 15.
369
00:16:31,716 --> 00:16:34,475
Well, no matter.
At least I'll sleep comfortably
370
00:16:34,569 --> 00:16:37,662
and continue to have the
same-sized, not-swollen feet.
371
00:16:39,224 --> 00:16:41,240
But I just bought
Thom Browne boots.
372
00:16:41,392 --> 00:16:43,893
I got them for myself
as a push present.
373
00:16:43,986 --> 00:16:45,169
Sorry, Stewie.
374
00:16:45,321 --> 00:16:47,654
Enjoy the miracle of life.
375
00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:49,899
Oh, dear. Perhaps being pregnant
376
00:16:49,992 --> 00:16:51,492
will be more difficult
than I thought.
377
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:54,161
And we still have to plan
a gender reveal party.
378
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:56,163
Okay, would you rather
do a cake reveal
379
00:16:56,257 --> 00:16:58,349
or burn Napa to the ground?
380
00:17:04,340 --> 00:17:07,191
Oh, man, that bear
kicked our asses.
381
00:17:07,343 --> 00:17:09,585
Well, thank God we're all okay.
382
00:17:09,604 --> 00:17:11,921
Good job, Joe.
You stayed positive.
383
00:17:11,939 --> 00:17:14,198
It's why you're
the rock of the group.
384
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:16,040
Wait a minute,
where's my cowboy hat?
385
00:17:16,185 --> 00:17:17,610
I think the bear took it.
386
00:17:17,762 --> 00:17:18,852
Who gives a?
387
00:17:18,872 --> 00:17:20,020
What the hell, Joe?
388
00:17:20,114 --> 00:17:21,688
I always saw you
as the rock of the group.
389
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:22,856
Damn it!
390
00:17:22,876 --> 00:17:24,208
Don't you see, fellas?
391
00:17:24,360 --> 00:17:27,103
We made a oath to the mayor
to get our manhood back.
392
00:17:27,196 --> 00:17:29,047
And our hats are that manhood.
393
00:17:29,198 --> 00:17:31,440
So, we've got to find that bear
and get it back.
394
00:17:31,459 --> 00:17:33,384
I don't know,
that sounds dangerous.
395
00:17:33,536 --> 00:17:35,553
Come on, the whole reason
we came here
396
00:17:35,704 --> 00:17:37,424
is 'cause we've turned
into cowards.
397
00:17:37,448 --> 00:17:39,615
The mayor wanted us
to finish this cattle drive
398
00:17:39,634 --> 00:17:42,285
like real cowboys, and that's
exactly what we're gonna do.
399
00:17:42,378 --> 00:17:43,978
We'll do it
with courage and teamwork.
400
00:17:44,122 --> 00:17:45,563
Who's with me?
401
00:17:47,125 --> 00:17:49,192
Yeah, that's the spirit.
402
00:17:51,796 --> 00:17:54,888
Well, Bri, I'm heading out
for sushi in my new boots.
403
00:17:54,966 --> 00:17:56,908
So I'm guessing
you got rid of the baby?
404
00:17:57,059 --> 00:17:58,743
Yes, it was a tough decision.
405
00:17:58,894 --> 00:18:00,654
But today I took
a morning-after cocktail
406
00:18:00,729 --> 00:18:03,397
of Flintstones vitamins,
Ovaltine, castor oil,
407
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:05,583
and a splash of Dr. Pepper,
since its name
408
00:18:05,734 --> 00:18:08,311
is both a medical professional
and a vegetable.
409
00:18:08,329 --> 00:18:09,899
Well, I think you made
the right decision.
410
00:18:09,923 --> 00:18:12,072
Me too.
I'm probably the only person
411
00:18:12,166 --> 00:18:15,167
under 18 ever to say this,
but being pregnant is fun
412
00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:17,837
until it forces you
to make sacrifices in any way.
413
00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:20,840
Uh, yeah, I guess
that's an okay takeaway.
414
00:18:20,992 --> 00:18:23,750
I just hope little Timothée
or Chalamet understands.
415
00:18:23,845 --> 00:18:25,845
I think he or she
would have grown up
416
00:18:25,997 --> 00:18:27,496
to be a strong woman
417
00:18:27,515 --> 00:18:29,423
or a very weak man.
418
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:32,685
So, uh, you know that you
were never pregnant, right?
419
00:18:32,837 --> 00:18:34,797
Yes, I went to the hospital
for a sonogram
420
00:18:34,930 --> 00:18:36,597
and got yelled at
by an angry nurse.
421
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,932
In case you were wondering
whether she likes nonsense,
422
00:18:38,952 --> 00:18:41,510
she, um... she does not.
423
00:18:41,529 --> 00:18:43,329
♪ ♪
424
00:18:45,441 --> 00:18:47,521
I can't believe we haven't
found the bear yet.
425
00:18:47,685 --> 00:18:51,212
I was sure he'd be lured
in by my tax portfolio seminar.
426
00:18:58,029 --> 00:18:59,595
Aah!
427
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:04,550
Uh-oh.
I'm gonna get Revenant-ed.
428
00:19:04,702 --> 00:19:06,644
Remember that movie
we all said was amazing
429
00:19:06,795 --> 00:19:08,371
and then immediately forgot?
430
00:19:09,965 --> 00:19:12,233
Don't worry, Peter, we got this.
431
00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:26,164
- Yeah!
- All right!
432
00:19:26,391 --> 00:19:28,218
And I lassoed his neck
so he can masturbate.
433
00:19:28,242 --> 00:19:31,394
Now give me back my hat,
you son of a bitch.
434
00:19:31,396 --> 00:19:33,062
Good job, fellas.
435
00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:35,006
You really showed me something.
436
00:19:37,826 --> 00:19:39,159
Old Man West?
437
00:19:39,179 --> 00:19:40,403
The owner of the ranch?
438
00:19:40,496 --> 00:19:42,180
Peter, this isn't Scooby-Doo.
439
00:19:42,331 --> 00:19:44,073
You ever notice
how most Scooby-Doo villains
440
00:19:44,091 --> 00:19:45,408
are small businessmen?
441
00:19:45,426 --> 00:19:47,518
Who doesn't like
small businessmen?
442
00:19:47,745 --> 00:19:49,595
Odd choice by the creators.
443
00:19:49,747 --> 00:19:52,097
Sorry to put you boys
through the paces,
444
00:19:52,250 --> 00:19:54,750
but I felt like you needed
a little nudge
445
00:19:54,769 --> 00:19:56,268
to find your courage.
446
00:19:56,362 --> 00:19:59,363
Here, Peter, you earned this.
447
00:20:02,093 --> 00:20:03,426
Thanks, Mr. Mayor.
448
00:20:03,444 --> 00:20:05,611
I'm gonna wear this hat forever.
449
00:20:05,763 --> 00:20:07,446
Actually, Peter,
450
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:09,373
the hat chooses you.
451
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:13,436
♪ If you leave, I won't cry ♪
452
00:20:13,454 --> 00:20:16,005
♪ I won't wasteone single day. ♪
453
00:20:21,946 --> 00:20:23,779
Oh, it's good to have
you home, Peter.
454
00:20:23,798 --> 00:20:24,947
Thanks.
455
00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:26,331
The ranch was nice,
456
00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:28,041
but I think the big lesson here
457
00:20:28,061 --> 00:20:29,876
is that no experience is worth
458
00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:32,379
- sleeping on the ground.
- Oh, God, no.
459
00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:35,716
And my groin is a raging fire
from one day on a horse.
460
00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:38,978
Kids, don't ever do things
you don't normally do.
461
00:20:39,130 --> 00:20:40,370
You'll just be punished for it.
462
00:20:40,465 --> 00:20:42,815
My blue-collar dad
463
00:20:42,967 --> 00:20:45,058
is hostile to new experiences.
464
00:20:45,152 --> 00:20:47,319
Well, that's Bonnie and Donna.
465
00:20:47,472 --> 00:20:48,707
- I have to go.
- What?
466
00:20:48,731 --> 00:20:51,231
Oh, the mayor
also runs a ranch for women
467
00:20:51,325 --> 00:20:53,400
trying to get in touch
with their femininity.
468
00:20:53,494 --> 00:20:56,479
Ladies, these grocery carts
are an oath.
469
00:20:56,497 --> 00:20:58,965
Pretty sure the male version
of this is better.
470
00:20:59,074 --> 00:21:02,510
I might say the same thing
about Ghostbusters.
471
00:21:02,534 --> 00:21:04,534
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