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00:00:03,937 --> 00:00:06,507
Explain to me again
why your Model UN tournament's
2
00:00:06,607 --> 00:00:07,875
being held at Shay What?!
3
00:00:07,975 --> 00:00:09,977
They double-booked
the school's auditorium,
4
00:00:10,078 --> 00:00:12,580
and the debate team
quickly and concisely
5
00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:14,548
convinced them
to bump us out.
6
00:00:15,549 --> 00:00:17,785
You'll never guess
what just happened.
7
00:00:17,885 --> 00:00:19,487
Your manager Paul
got you an audition
8
00:00:19,587 --> 00:00:21,822
for The Great Big Globetrot?
9
00:00:21,922 --> 00:00:23,891
Our walls are very thin.
10
00:00:23,991 --> 00:00:26,494
You mean, the reality show
where teams compete in a race
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00:00:26,594 --> 00:00:27,928
for a cash prize so large,
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00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:30,098
it could lift entire communities
out of poverty?
13
00:00:30,198 --> 00:00:31,765
Exactly!
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00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:35,469
Paul said the producers love
my child Internet star angle.
15
00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:37,705
They know you're not
a child now, right?
16
00:00:37,805 --> 00:00:40,808
Anyway, my partner and I just
have to make an intro video,
17
00:00:40,908 --> 00:00:43,277
and then go to
an audition challenge tomorrow.
18
00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:45,946
Listen, I know
I'm the obvious choice.
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00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,348
For a race?
20
00:00:47,448 --> 00:00:48,816
I've seen you get car sick
in an elevator.
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00:00:48,916 --> 00:00:51,619
That elevator went faster
than normal elevators.
22
00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:54,722
But tomorrow is Model UN,
and Millicent needs me.
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00:00:54,822 --> 00:00:56,657
I'm the Gayle to her Oprah.
24
00:00:56,757 --> 00:00:58,359
Oh yeah!
Millicent, aren't you gonna beat
25
00:00:58,459 --> 00:00:59,760
your nemesis,
Henry Von Biedermeyer?
26
00:00:59,860 --> 00:01:02,463
He's won the Golden Gavel
four years running.
27
00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:04,932
But this year,
that gavel is mine.
28
00:01:05,032 --> 00:01:08,802
I can taste it.
It's metallic, like blood.
29
00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:12,306
Ooh, Millicent, I know
exactly what you mean.
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00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:14,908
I just landed
the most exciting job
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00:01:15,008 --> 00:01:16,644
of my career since Dutch.
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00:01:16,744 --> 00:01:18,846
I'm styling four fabulous
drag queens
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00:01:18,946 --> 00:01:21,682
for their club's annual
Hollywood Icon Night.
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00:01:21,782 --> 00:01:23,684
Wait, what does that
have to do with her thing?
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00:01:23,784 --> 00:01:25,586
Oh, I was just changing
the subject.
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00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:26,987
But if y'all wanna keep talking
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00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:28,556
about a boring
children's political event,
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00:01:28,656 --> 00:01:30,991
then sure, let's do that.
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00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:32,726
Wait, wait, wait.
40
00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:34,662
So, if none of us
are gonna be your partner,
41
00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:37,331
- then that means...
- Spencer's gonna do it!
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00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:41,235
It's always been my dream
to be on a reality TV show.
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00:01:41,335 --> 00:01:45,038
My audition
for Naked and Afraid was choice!
44
00:01:45,139 --> 00:01:46,140
What's in the pack, dude?
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00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:47,741
Rocks, to help me
be strong.
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00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:50,811
When we were kids, Spencer and I
crushed every game night.
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00:01:50,911 --> 00:01:52,880
We were the best team ever.
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00:01:52,980 --> 00:01:54,282
Ha!
Oh!
49
00:01:54,382 --> 00:01:57,785
Yeah.
I think y'all are gonna win.
50
00:02:30,351 --> 00:02:33,387
Well, if Malaysia had better
garbage-sorting processes...
51
00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:34,988
If Norway can't be bothered
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00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:37,090
to separate trash
from recyclables,
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00:02:37,191 --> 00:02:39,660
then Malaysia's gonna send
that trash back home.
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00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:43,096
'Cause that's what you are,
Henry Von Biedermeyer,
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00:02:43,197 --> 00:02:45,065
the king of garbage.
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00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:48,302
Geez, Millicent, I feel like
my race to win a million dollars
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00:02:48,402 --> 00:02:50,704
is less intense
than your Model UN tournament.
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00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:53,674
Yeah, you don't want it as bad.
59
00:02:55,609 --> 00:02:56,977
Thanks for helping me, Dad.
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00:02:57,077 --> 00:02:59,447
I couldn't destroy
Von Biedermeyer without you.
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00:03:01,815 --> 00:03:03,517
Okay.
62
00:03:03,617 --> 00:03:04,952
I'm in huge trouble.
63
00:03:05,052 --> 00:03:06,119
Why?
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00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:07,755
Millicent's teacher
reached out
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00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:10,391
and asked me to get her
to tone it down.
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00:03:10,491 --> 00:03:12,926
Wait.
Millicent, tone it down?
67
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,595
- Mm-hmm.
- That's like asking
68
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:17,064
Ricky Martin to be less sexy.
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00:03:17,164 --> 00:03:19,467
Never gonna happen.
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00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:21,635
Well, apparently
she is so competitive,
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00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:23,904
she already drove out
seven other participants.
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00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:27,107
There's no South America now.
It's just gone.
73
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:29,377
I'm worried
she's turning into Spencer.
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00:03:29,477 --> 00:03:32,145
What?
But Spencer was never like that.
75
00:03:32,246 --> 00:03:33,947
- Remember how much fun
76
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:36,183
we had at game nights
when we were kids?
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00:03:39,453 --> 00:03:41,955
Way to go, Carly, it's like
you're not even trying.
78
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,857
Now, put the green piece here.
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00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:47,295
- You destroy every game.
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00:03:47,395 --> 00:03:50,631
I have to go.
My mom's having GI problems.
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00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:54,535
See?
He can't take us.
82
00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:56,504
Mm-mm.
83
00:03:56,604 --> 00:03:58,606
Oh, to be young.
84
00:03:58,706 --> 00:04:01,275
And bossed around
by your big brother.
85
00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:05,446
Spencer never bossed me around.
He just loves to win.
86
00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:06,880
You know who he's like?
87
00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:08,916
- Seabiscuit.
- Kim Jong-un.
88
00:04:09,717 --> 00:04:10,684
Seabiscuit?
89
00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:12,286
Yeah, 'cause he's determined,
90
00:04:12,386 --> 00:04:14,522
he never gives up,
and he's liable to poop
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00:04:14,622 --> 00:04:16,056
absolutely anywhere.
92
00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:19,627
Wait, did you say
Kim Jong-un?
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00:04:19,727 --> 00:04:21,895
Did you say anywhere?
94
00:04:25,232 --> 00:04:28,636
Ladies of substance...
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00:04:28,736 --> 00:04:32,005
Auntie Histamine,
Kimmy Kimmy Moore,
96
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:33,474
Cruella Tensions,
97
00:04:33,574 --> 00:04:36,310
and the wickedly talented
Lana del Slay,
98
00:04:36,410 --> 00:04:39,980
I am honored that you chose me
to style your drag night.
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00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,382
As you should be.
100
00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:44,051
We are some
choosy bitches.
101
00:04:46,219 --> 00:04:49,222
First, a classic Audrey.
102
00:04:49,323 --> 00:04:51,725
- A woman waits her whole life
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00:04:51,825 --> 00:04:53,861
for a pearl necklace
that thick.
104
00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:57,698
You will always love this--
Whitney.
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00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:00,468
The one and only time
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00:05:00,568 --> 00:05:02,703
someone has ever improved
on Dolly Parton.
107
00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:05,673
Third, we have Marilyn.
108
00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:08,809
I even figured out a way
to install a fan
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00:05:08,909 --> 00:05:10,243
to make the wind blow.
110
00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:13,847
Oh, who is this wind,
and how do I meet him?
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00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:17,518
And our final look,
little more modern,
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00:05:17,618 --> 00:05:19,587
but still iconic.
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00:05:19,687 --> 00:05:21,088
- Reese.
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00:05:22,690 --> 00:05:25,793
I am, for lack
of a better word, agog.
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00:05:25,893 --> 00:05:27,928
Ooh, amazing!
116
00:05:28,028 --> 00:05:30,163
Now, you all just have to choose
which look you want.
117
00:05:30,263 --> 00:05:32,900
- Any preferences?
-Reese!
118
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,335
What?
I already pulled wardrobe.
119
00:05:35,436 --> 00:05:36,737
You can't all be Reese.
120
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:39,039
Well, with a good enough
stylist, we can.
121
00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:42,510
Alexa, find us
a better stylist.
122
00:05:47,815 --> 00:05:49,149
Wait!
No, I can do it.
123
00:05:49,249 --> 00:05:51,485
I can make all four of you
Reese Witherspoon.
124
00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:53,253
Yay, thank you, Harper.
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00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,122
Harper, you brought
the town together
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00:05:55,222 --> 00:05:56,490
and saved the day,
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00:05:56,590 --> 00:05:58,526
just like Reese Weatherspoon
in Pleasantville,
128
00:05:58,626 --> 00:05:59,993
Reese Witherspoon
in Home Again,
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00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:01,895
and Reese Witherspoon
in Legally Blonde
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00:06:01,995 --> 00:06:03,931
Red, White and Blonde.
131
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,535
Well, buckle up, bitches,
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00:06:07,635 --> 00:06:11,271
'cause it's gonna be
an embarrassment of Reeses.
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00:06:12,606 --> 00:06:14,708
Reese! Reese! Reese!
134
00:06:14,808 --> 00:06:18,646
Reese! Reese!
Reese! Reese! Reese!
135
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:21,715
So, what were you thinking
136
00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:23,283
for your Great Big Globetrot
intro video?
137
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:26,920
Well, I set up
a spaghetti taco station.
138
00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:28,456
- Ooh.
- I thought we could talk
139
00:06:28,556 --> 00:06:29,790
about how Spencer invented 'em.
140
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,825
- Ah.
- That man could fly to the sun
141
00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:33,360
if he put his mind to it.
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00:06:33,461 --> 00:06:36,396
These rich people need to stop
going into space.
143
00:06:37,565 --> 00:06:40,267
Hey, I came up with the most fun
idea for our video.
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00:06:40,367 --> 00:06:41,702
Already done.
145
00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:44,805
Some think artistic perfection
can't be achieved.
146
00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:46,674
Uh, they haven't seen this.
147
00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:03,056
Whoo!
148
00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:05,158
But shouldn't I be
in our team video?
149
00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:07,461
Nah.
See you guys later.
150
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,164
Ah.
151
00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:13,834
What?
That wasn't so bad.
152
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:15,435
Come on, Carly,
this is exactly
153
00:07:15,536 --> 00:07:17,304
what he's been doing
since we were kids.
154
00:07:17,404 --> 00:07:18,706
Oh, I don't think so.
155
00:07:18,806 --> 00:07:21,108
Oh, no?
Think harder.
156
00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:26,980
Oh, way to go, Carly.
157
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:28,949
It's like
you're not even trying.
158
00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:30,450
Now, put the green piece there.
159
00:07:30,551 --> 00:07:32,786
You destroy every game.
160
00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:36,223
I have to go.
My mom's having GI problems.
161
00:07:37,157 --> 00:07:39,426
See?
He can't take us.
162
00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:42,362
Was that a flick?
163
00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:47,034
Hey!
164
00:07:48,936 --> 00:07:51,138
Oh, my God.
You're right!
165
00:07:51,238 --> 00:07:54,508
Except for the thick shiny hair,
he's not like Seabiscuit at all.
166
00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:55,809
- Mm.
- Wait.
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00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:58,045
So, your mom didn't have
GI problems?
168
00:07:58,145 --> 00:07:59,647
No, she did,
I just didn't need
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00:07:59,747 --> 00:08:01,014
to leave game night
because of them.
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00:08:01,114 --> 00:08:04,084
- You chose to.
- I'm a good boy.
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00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:13,561
Spencer, I know
you wanted to train
172
00:08:13,661 --> 00:08:14,828
for the audition challenge,
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00:08:14,928 --> 00:08:16,997
but I want to talk to you
about our video.
174
00:08:17,097 --> 00:08:19,800
Well, I guess your video.
175
00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:21,001
What is that?!
176
00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:23,203
Precipitation.
Ever heard of it, Carly?
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00:08:23,303 --> 00:08:24,638
Dude, we live in Seattle.
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00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:26,640
On The Globetrot,
you gotta be prepared
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00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:29,242
to compete in any
and all conditions--
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00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:31,511
rain, sleet, snow,
sharknadoes.
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00:08:31,612 --> 00:08:32,746
I need to talk to you
about the video--
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00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:34,882
No!
Stop flapping your gums
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00:08:34,982 --> 00:08:37,718
and start working your guns.
Drop and give me 20.
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00:08:37,818 --> 00:08:38,819
- Spencer, I am not gonna--
185
00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:40,654
- Go, go, go!
- What?
186
00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:42,590
Clap in between 'em.
187
00:08:44,457 --> 00:08:45,826
We really need
to discuss the--
188
00:08:45,926 --> 00:08:47,928
Jumping jacks!
189
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,630
- What?
- Twist.
190
00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:51,498
Now you're in
the rain forest.
191
00:08:51,599 --> 00:08:53,767
But look out,
the wind is picking up.
192
00:08:57,437 --> 00:08:59,773
Get your vitamins.
Drink, don't think.
193
00:09:03,110 --> 00:09:04,277
What is in this?!
194
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:06,379
Chilis, cayenne,
and some ghost jalapeรฑos
195
00:09:06,479 --> 00:09:08,782
I got off a shaman
in Little Oaxaca.
196
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:11,251
Food challenges are a huge part
of The Globetrot.
197
00:09:11,351 --> 00:09:13,987
No, Spencer, I need to...
198
00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:15,522
Ah...
199
00:09:15,623 --> 00:09:17,490
Oh, my God,
my mouth is on fire.
200
00:09:17,591 --> 00:09:20,393
I think I'm gonna...
201
00:09:20,493 --> 00:09:22,095
No, you can throw up
in the smoothie cup,
202
00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:24,598
but you will have to drink
the vomit after.
203
00:09:28,836 --> 00:09:31,872
I stayed up all night,
I sewed until my fingers bled,
204
00:09:31,972 --> 00:09:34,074
I watched so many
Reese Witherspoon movies
205
00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:37,010
that when I tried to scream,
all that came out was sunshine.
206
00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:40,047
But I got it done.
207
00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:44,618
Girl, you read us all wrong.
208
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:46,386
Now, what now?
209
00:09:46,486 --> 00:09:48,922
You think
I'm Elle Woods?
210
00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:51,892
I obviously emanate
the bubbly-yet-powerful charisma
211
00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:54,795
of Melanie Carmichael,
nรฉe Smooter,
212
00:09:54,895 --> 00:09:57,765
from Sweet Home Alabama.
213
00:09:58,598 --> 00:09:59,800
Girl, she didn't even
make the costume
214
00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:01,769
from Sweet Home Alabama.
215
00:10:01,869 --> 00:10:05,272
39% on Rotten Tomatoes?
Now, that's homophobic.
216
00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:07,174
And I'm clearly
217
00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:09,810
Kate "Cootie" Kinkaid
from Four Christmases.
218
00:10:09,910 --> 00:10:12,680
Wait, stop!
I worked really hard on this.
219
00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:13,914
You can't just do that.
220
00:10:14,014 --> 00:10:15,615
Girl!
Move some paper
221
00:10:15,716 --> 00:10:18,819
with a piece of tape on it?
Henny, I just did.
222
00:10:18,919 --> 00:10:21,188
Harper, you can't interfere
with fate.
223
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:22,255
That's why it's fate.
224
00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:25,659
Well, well, well.
225
00:10:25,759 --> 00:10:29,029
Look who just quoted
Tracy Flick.
226
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:32,265
The very bitch
I picked to dress like her.
227
00:10:37,738 --> 00:10:39,139
If I could go back in time,
228
00:10:39,239 --> 00:10:41,441
I wouldn't do a damn thing
differently.
229
00:10:41,541 --> 00:10:44,011
Cheryl Strayed, Wild.
230
00:10:45,779 --> 00:10:49,717
Alexa, we found
a really good stylist.
231
00:10:54,722 --> 00:10:57,324
"So, that's why in the spirit
of world peace,
232
00:10:57,424 --> 00:11:01,028
we are pleased to compromise
with the Kingdom of Norway."
233
00:11:01,128 --> 00:11:03,396
Do you mind if I make some edits
to the speech you wrote?
234
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:04,998
Yeah.
235
00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:09,269
I just want you
236
00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:11,104
to get along better
with your classmates,
237
00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:12,773
and for your teacher
to stop calling me
238
00:11:12,873 --> 00:11:14,241
to say she's afraid of you.
239
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:16,409
She carries a squirrel around
on the weekends
240
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:17,811
so people will talk to her.
241
00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:20,680
So, maybe we don't
take her advice.
242
00:11:22,816 --> 00:11:25,018
Can you just try?
For me?
243
00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:29,122
Sure, I can try
to "dial down" my "intensity"
244
00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:31,959
because it's "intimidating"
to "losers."
245
00:11:32,059 --> 00:11:34,194
I'm not asking you to do that,
I am just asking you
246
00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:36,663
to make your Model UN speech
less hostile.
247
00:11:36,764 --> 00:11:38,966
That's literally
what I just said.
248
00:11:40,267 --> 00:11:43,804
Now we're in Antarctica!
It's raining ice!
249
00:11:43,904 --> 00:11:46,907
You just saw a penguin,
he looks like a little butler.
250
00:11:47,007 --> 00:11:48,175
But you can't talk to him.
251
00:11:48,275 --> 00:11:50,377
Do I have time
to use the bathroom?
252
00:11:50,477 --> 00:11:52,512
None!
Pee as you run, Carly!
253
00:11:52,612 --> 00:11:54,281
Pee as you run!
254
00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:57,584
Okay, my Reese's pieces.
255
00:11:57,684 --> 00:11:59,953
After four
emergency alterations
256
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:03,123
and several renditions
of a cappella "Respect,"
257
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:05,192
are y'all finally ready?
258
00:12:05,292 --> 00:12:07,394
We are!
259
00:12:07,494 --> 00:12:10,730
Ow, and we look
spectacular!
260
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:14,768
Honey, you turned us out!
261
00:12:16,036 --> 00:12:20,340
I am a Christmas bell.
Jingle!
262
00:12:21,909 --> 00:12:23,877
Whoever said Harper
couldn't pull this off
263
00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:26,713
was seriously misguided.
264
00:12:26,814 --> 00:12:29,149
Well, ladies,
we could go on and on
265
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,885
about how I masterfully
wove you into the fabric
266
00:12:31,985 --> 00:12:33,887
of the Witherspoon
cinematic universe,
267
00:12:33,987 --> 00:12:35,856
but if you don't get going,
you'll miss drag night.
268
00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:38,625
Oh!
Drag night!
269
00:12:40,828 --> 00:12:42,562
Was canceled.
270
00:12:42,662 --> 00:12:44,331
Yeah, the emcee called
two hours ago.
271
00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:48,201
The club was sold.
It's becoming a Baby Gap.
272
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:52,339
So, all this work
was for nothing?
273
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:54,574
Wait, why did y'all
make that grand entrance?
274
00:12:54,674 --> 00:12:57,177
Why do Trader Joe's employees
look at one item in your cart
275
00:12:57,277 --> 00:13:00,547
and say, "Oh, I haven't
tried that yet"?
276
00:13:00,647 --> 00:13:02,349
It's in our nature.
277
00:13:11,058 --> 00:13:12,092
No.
278
00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:14,828
You know who wouldn't
stand for this?
279
00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:16,964
- Reese Witherspoon.
280
00:13:17,064 --> 00:13:18,798
You're going to have
that drag night,
281
00:13:18,899 --> 00:13:23,937
even if I have to bend
and snap somebody's neck.
282
00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:25,172
Ooh!
283
00:13:27,707 --> 00:13:29,609
We're going to the audition
in a limo?
284
00:13:29,709 --> 00:13:31,811
Yeah.
That way, we get there faster.
285
00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:33,646
It's a longer car.
The math works.
286
00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:36,149
Well, why are we sitting
in the front?
287
00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:38,718
So we get there sooner.
Keep up!
288
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:41,221
Hi, iCarly.
I'm Raoul.
289
00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:42,990
Can you believe
it's my first day
290
00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:45,225
and I get to chauffeur
a celebrity?
291
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:46,726
First day?
292
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,862
- My wife made sandwiches.
- Oh.
293
00:13:48,962 --> 00:13:50,197
If you like egg salad
294
00:13:50,297 --> 00:13:51,764
with the freaking perfect
amount of dill,
295
00:13:51,865 --> 00:13:53,033
you're in for a treat.
296
00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:54,767
Raoul, I'm gonna
need you to drive
297
00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:56,036
like you just realized
you forgot
298
00:13:56,136 --> 00:13:57,770
your wife's sandwiches at home.
299
00:13:57,871 --> 00:13:59,739
Oh.
This is too real.
300
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,341
You can do this, Raoul.
301
00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:02,675
Okay.
302
00:14:02,775 --> 00:14:04,945
I can't believe
I'm really in a limo!
303
00:14:05,045 --> 00:14:07,414
- Whee!
304
00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:09,582
You will arrive
at your destination
305
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:10,951
in 17 minutes.
306
00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:12,752
In half a mile,
turn right.
307
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:13,987
You know what, Raoul?
308
00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:15,288
Hang a left up here,
it's a shortcut.
309
00:14:15,388 --> 00:14:17,925
What?
No, the GPS literally says...
310
00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:19,960
- New route detected.
311
00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:21,995
You will arrive in 23 minutes.
312
00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:24,297
Ooh, more time
in the limo!
313
00:14:24,397 --> 00:14:26,833
- Spencer!
- It's okay, it's okay.
314
00:14:26,934 --> 00:14:28,735
- Hey, turn right.
- Turning right.
315
00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:31,238
You will arrive
in 31 minutes.
316
00:14:31,338 --> 00:14:33,073
Raoul, just stop
listening to Spencer.
317
00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:34,741
- Take the freeway.
- No, Raoul,
318
00:14:34,841 --> 00:14:36,776
stop listening to Carly,
she's always wrong.
319
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,145
A little bit about me.
320
00:14:38,245 --> 00:14:40,680
Conflict really exacerbates
my eczema.
321
00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:42,615
Can one of you
pass me my skin ointment?
322
00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:44,084
It's right next
to the egg salad.
323
00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:46,119
Look, can we please
just take the freeway?
324
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:48,388
It's faster.
The on-ramp is on the right.
325
00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:49,722
No, take Ballard Bridge.
326
00:14:49,822 --> 00:14:51,024
We can make up the time we lost.
Turn left.
327
00:14:51,124 --> 00:14:53,460
Could you just
listen to me for once?
328
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:54,494
Left or right?
329
00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:55,595
- Left!
- Right!
330
00:14:55,695 --> 00:14:56,796
Raoul, turn left right now!
331
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,235
Why did we stop?
What's happening?
332
00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:03,836
Ballard Bridge
raised for ferry crossing.
333
00:15:03,937 --> 00:15:06,406
You will arrive in 57 minutes.
334
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:10,210
Oh my God, the bridge
is gonna split in half!
335
00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:14,914
Raoul, here's your ointment.
336
00:15:21,955 --> 00:15:23,656
Spencer Shay.
Carly Shay.
337
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:25,192
We're here.
We made it.
338
00:15:25,292 --> 00:15:27,394
- Yeah.
- Oh, the audition challenge
339
00:15:27,494 --> 00:15:28,761
started 20 minutes ago.
340
00:15:28,861 --> 00:15:31,264
I'm so sorry,
you've been disqualified.
341
00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:33,800
You are no longer
hot to trot.
342
00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:37,570
After all I did to get here,
it's over just like that?
343
00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:42,409
You were actually able to skip
most of the audition process
344
00:15:42,509 --> 00:15:44,111
because you're famous.
345
00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:46,779
I acknowledge my privilege.
346
00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:53,620
I can't believe
we got disqualified.
347
00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:55,155
I hate to say it, Carly, but...
348
00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:56,823
- Thank you for apologizing.
- ...it's all your fault.
349
00:15:56,923 --> 00:15:59,926
My fault?
You ignored the GPS.
350
00:16:00,027 --> 00:16:02,162
Yeah, what does a GPS know
that I don't?
351
00:16:02,262 --> 00:16:03,396
Everything.
352
00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:05,832
It knows everything.
353
00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:11,071
Was that a flick?
354
00:16:12,039 --> 00:16:13,640
Oh...
355
00:16:14,541 --> 00:16:16,676
No, you don't.
No, you don't.
356
00:16:18,245 --> 00:16:20,547
Guys, guys, guys!
Oh!
357
00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:23,416
We are loving
this sibling rivalry.
358
00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:25,652
We want you back
in the challenge.
359
00:16:25,752 --> 00:16:27,387
And I want you in my bed.
360
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:29,322
Oh, whoa.
361
00:16:29,422 --> 00:16:32,292
That was highly
inappropriate.
362
00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:33,826
But I meant it.
363
00:16:34,927 --> 00:16:36,229
You know what,
you can take him.
364
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:37,730
I can't deal with him anymore.
365
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:40,967
Oh, I know this is raw,
I know this is painful.
366
00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:44,804
I do need you
to save it for the cameras.
367
00:16:44,904 --> 00:16:46,239
We're out.
368
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:49,176
You're a content creator, right?
369
00:16:49,276 --> 00:16:51,511
Some contestants
on our show
370
00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:55,615
get more than a million
new followers.
371
00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:58,451
Let's do a challenge, bro.
372
00:16:58,551 --> 00:17:00,487
So, it's pretty simple.
373
00:17:00,587 --> 00:17:03,190
Just slingshot a melon
to knock over a target
374
00:17:03,290 --> 00:17:05,592
and you qualify for the race.
375
00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:07,727
Is that target
a mom with a baby?
376
00:17:07,827 --> 00:17:11,998
Yeah, the fire department
uses these to practice rescues.
377
00:17:12,099 --> 00:17:15,335
So, which one of you
is flinging fruit?
378
00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:17,370
- I am!
- Fine.
379
00:17:17,470 --> 00:17:20,107
I'll save my melon skills
for later.
380
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:30,049
- Did I hit a target?
381
00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:33,353
No, you hit my coworker
Benjamin.
382
00:17:33,453 --> 00:17:36,123
Great job.
He's insufferable.
383
00:17:42,195 --> 00:17:43,263
Millicent.
384
00:17:43,363 --> 00:17:45,598
Von Biedermeyer.
385
00:17:45,698 --> 00:17:48,401
Actually, I go
by Von Gavelmeyer now,
386
00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:51,037
because I keep winning
all these gavels.
387
00:17:51,138 --> 00:17:53,406
I haven't heard
anyone call you that.
388
00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:56,909
Then I guess you haven't been
talking to my mother.
389
00:17:57,009 --> 00:17:59,078
- Look, I know that it's tough
390
00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:01,281
to be nice, but it's really
important because--
391
00:18:01,381 --> 00:18:03,750
Oh, my Reese Witherspoon.
392
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:08,155
Harper, what are you doing here?
393
00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:11,424
We needed a new venue
for drag night.
394
00:18:11,524 --> 00:18:12,759
Why are you here?
395
00:18:12,859 --> 00:18:15,061
Model UN.
I told you all about it.
396
00:18:15,162 --> 00:18:18,898
Oh, this is that boring
children's political event?
397
00:18:20,032 --> 00:18:23,970
Harper, we cannot have
drag night and Model UN.
398
00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:26,939
Unless...
399
00:18:28,741 --> 00:18:31,344
So, I guess Malaysia
will compromise on garbage
400
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:33,846
and everything else,
until every last drop of joy
401
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:36,949
has been sapped from the thing
they used to love most.
402
00:18:39,919 --> 00:18:41,120
Yay!
403
00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:44,191
Thank you,
delegate from Malaysia.
404
00:18:44,291 --> 00:18:47,160
It's not too often
you see such a young spark
405
00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:48,828
flicker out so quickly.
406
00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:52,265
Next, the chair
recognizes the delegate
407
00:18:52,365 --> 00:18:56,236
from Four Christmases,
Reese Witherspoon!
408
00:19:21,127 --> 00:19:23,162
I feel terrible that I made
Millicent tone it down.
409
00:19:23,263 --> 00:19:25,998
Baby, why would you
ask her to tone it down
410
00:19:26,098 --> 00:19:28,901
when she was clearly born
to turn it up?
411
00:19:29,902 --> 00:19:33,340
Millicent, that speech
was deliciously asinine.
412
00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:36,809
Glad Ms. Cox passed along
the message from my mother
413
00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:39,946
that you should tone it down.
414
00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:50,257
Destroy Gavelmeyer.
415
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:54,160
Oh, Henry?
416
00:19:56,596 --> 00:19:58,331
Quick FYI.
417
00:19:58,431 --> 00:19:59,866
I'm out on your resolution,
418
00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:03,135
and I'm introducing one
to censure Norway instead.
419
00:20:03,236 --> 00:20:04,571
You can't do that.
420
00:20:04,671 --> 00:20:07,774
What are you gonna do,
throw smoked salmon on me?
421
00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:10,176
Dump a bottle of Voss water
on my head?
422
00:20:10,277 --> 00:20:11,511
Yeah, that's right.
423
00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:14,747
My dad researched
all of Norway's top exports,
424
00:20:14,847 --> 00:20:19,352
and they're pathetic,
just like you.
425
00:20:19,452 --> 00:20:23,790
Yes!
Drag him, mama!
426
00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:27,394
Now, sashay, Norway.
427
00:20:28,428 --> 00:20:30,363
Mommy!
428
00:20:32,299 --> 00:20:35,768
Yeah, there's no way
she's getting that gavel.
429
00:20:35,868 --> 00:20:38,004
I love my little tyrant
so much.
430
00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:48,448
Pretend the target
is someone you hate.
431
00:20:48,548 --> 00:20:49,816
I am.
432
00:20:53,886 --> 00:20:55,922
Uh, did the medic go home?
433
00:20:56,022 --> 00:20:59,125
Just listen to me,
I'm always right.
434
00:20:59,225 --> 00:21:02,094
No, you're not.
And you won't listen to me.
435
00:21:02,194 --> 00:21:04,797
When we play games,
you never have.
436
00:21:04,897 --> 00:21:07,033
I just wanted to win.
437
00:21:07,133 --> 00:21:08,501
I didn't know
it made you feel bad.
438
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:10,202
- Why didn't you say anything?
- I don't know.
439
00:21:10,303 --> 00:21:11,904
Probably because
when we were kids
440
00:21:12,004 --> 00:21:13,606
you were like my hero.
441
00:21:13,706 --> 00:21:16,576
And I still am.
I understand.
442
00:21:16,676 --> 00:21:18,311
No, doofus.
443
00:21:18,878 --> 00:21:21,113
I've been trying
to talk to you all day.
444
00:21:21,213 --> 00:21:23,983
I love you, but when we play
games together now,
445
00:21:24,083 --> 00:21:26,085
I wanna be treated
like an equal.
446
00:21:26,185 --> 00:21:28,521
Guys, I'm sorry,
they're setting up
447
00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:31,090
for a kids' soccer game,
and we learned the hard way
448
00:21:31,190 --> 00:21:33,059
that you can't do that
and melon catapulting
449
00:21:33,159 --> 00:21:35,395
at the same time.
You need to quit.
450
00:21:36,363 --> 00:21:37,564
No.
451
00:21:37,664 --> 00:21:39,098
My sister's doing a great job,
452
00:21:39,198 --> 00:21:40,667
and we're not leaving
until she hits that target,
453
00:21:40,767 --> 00:21:42,369
which she can do,
and she's gonna do.
454
00:21:43,603 --> 00:21:45,438
'Cause she is my equal.
455
00:21:51,611 --> 00:21:53,179
You got this.
456
00:21:58,551 --> 00:22:00,820
- Aah!
- Spencer!
457
00:22:04,657 --> 00:22:05,825
Are you there?
458
00:22:05,925 --> 00:22:07,126
What is it?
459
00:22:07,226 --> 00:22:11,364
Tell my story.
But make it sound cooler.
460
00:22:12,198 --> 00:22:14,801
It'd be hard to make it
sound dumber.
461
00:22:19,606 --> 00:22:22,041
So, I didn't make it
on The Great Big Globetrot,
462
00:22:22,141 --> 00:22:24,143
and you didn't win
the Golden Gavel.
463
00:22:24,243 --> 00:22:26,278
But there's always next year.
464
00:22:26,379 --> 00:22:29,616
Hopefully, there won't be
a Von Biedermeyer next year.
465
00:22:32,919 --> 00:22:35,488
We're gonna talk about
what you just said later.
466
00:22:37,724 --> 00:22:38,858
What are you doing?
467
00:22:38,958 --> 00:22:41,728
Ah.
I keep finding more melon.
468
00:22:41,828 --> 00:22:44,063
I gotta use the restroom.
469
00:22:45,432 --> 00:22:47,199
Uh...
470
00:22:50,069 --> 00:22:52,271
Who is your stylist?
471
00:23:20,900 --> 00:23:22,602
Ooh!
472
00:23:22,702 --> 00:23:24,904
He hates these cans.
34142
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