All language subtitles for Greys.Anatomy.S18E16.720p.HDTV.x264-SYNCOPY

Josh Johnson x Vanyo's
"Look Alive" plays...

In 2019,
the World Health Organization

officially recognized burnout

in its International
Classification of Diseases.

Chief Bailey,
everything okay?

- ♪ Son of my father
- I'm just, um, waiting

to get my smoothie.

Um, but I was gonna
get your smoothie.

Not today.
Today, I'm getting it myself,

'cause I can't bring myself

to go into that
depressing building.

Can I help
in any way?

Yeah,
just leave me alone.

Studies show that doctors
who report signs of burnout

have enlarged amygdalas,

the area in the brain that
regulates fear and aggression.

If that's how you speak
to your residents,

no wonder
we are on probation.

- Catherine...
- In your office.

Now.

But burnout isn't
an academic exercise.

It's an all-consuming,
systemic condition.

It's your entire body sending
you one clear message.

You know what,
why don't you go ahead,

and I'll take them
to daycare.

- Here, give me this.
- Oh. Thank you.

You sure you're ready?

I'm cleared for surgery.
I'm feeling good.

I'm just a little... slow.

Okay.
Alright.

Uh, I'll see you in the pit.
Alright, give Daddy hugs.

Okay, bye.
Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.

Mwah.
Okay.

Hey! Look at you.

My little cowboy.

I'm not a cowboy.
I'm a girl.

Okay. Alright.
Cowgirl.

No.
I'm just a girl, silly.

No, honey, you're a boy.

This is just
a cowgirl costume.

Right?
It's pretend, remember?

- Oh.
- Okay.

Alright.
I'll see you in there.

Bye. Come on...
Come with me.

Whoop.
Let's go this way.

Something has to change,

and it has to change now.

♪ Light the fire, let it rise

If the surgery program
loses its accreditation,

there's no guarantee
that we'll find

another residency spot
somewhere else.

I don't think
that's gonna happen.

Well, and even if we do,

it might not be
a surgical residency.

We might have to switch
to something else.

Like family medicine.

It's my first day back.

Would you please consider
shutting up?

♪ Light the fire, let it rise

♪ Burn the life into your eyes

♪ Ooh

Well, that was awkward.

♪ So, look alive, look alive

I have spent years
rebranding this organization

into something respectable
that bears my name.

I'm not going to let
my entire legacy shrivel and die

because one hospital
can't get its crap together.

Well, don't you think
that's a little extreme?

The Medical
Accreditation Council

has inquired about visiting
20 different

Fox Foundation hospitals
as of this morning.

With all due respect,
Catherine,

you supported
the Webber method...

Are we here
to point fingers

or are we here
to solve problems?

Dr. Lawrence
to the NICU.

Dr. Lawrence to the NICU.

How long have they
been in there?

Well, I've been here
10 minutes,

and she hasn't let either
of them get a word in.

I need to tell Bailey that
my fellow quit this morning.

Makes sense.

People start to feel
the ship sink, they jump.

Oh, my God. Are you still
considering taking that offer?

I made my decision before I knew
about this probation.

Tell Nick that
you've changed your mind.

It isn't about Nick.

Not just about Nick.

Fine.
Congratulations.

I have a presentation.

Some of us are loyal
and want to save this place.

She'll get over it.
Everyone will.

And I will come visit you.
I am pro-Minnesota.

You are
pro-sex in Minnesota.

Well, well.
How far the mighty have fallen.

What the hell did you all
do to this place?

Probation?
Really?

You've always known
how to make an entrance.

Ooh.

*GREY'S ANATOMY*
Season 18 Episode 16

Episode Title:
"Should I Stay or Should I Go"

Aired on:
May 05, 2022.

Trinity Lab's "Heart Patch"

can be placed on
a patient's arm or chest,

and within seconds, will
continuously transmit ECG,

respiratory rate,
and oxygen saturation

right to an app on your phone.

You get instant monitoring of
your patient

while you're out doing rounds,
brushing your teeth...

Hell, you know what,

you could even check them
on the golf course.

Phase III results rival the gold
standard telemetry monitors.

And Grey-Sloan could be
at the forefront

of this cutting-edge
technology.

So, anybody has questions,
I'm here,

and don't forget,
we got donuts.

Hey.

Thanks for the coffee.

I like that suit.
That's nice.

Yeah, yeah.

I got to look sharp
for my Seattle Pres

and St. Joseph's pitches
this afternoon.

You know, we should
try these patches

on a couple of
our patients today.

Richard said that we needed to

improve our tech
and "modernize."

So...

Really?

Absolutely.

Stay right here.

I'll grab a few samples.

Hey.

What are you doing here?

Snickerdoodles.

My sister baked them
and insisted I bring you some.

Oh, wow.
That's so nice.

Yeah, well, my office is walking
distance, so it wasn't...

Oh, you're talking about
her making the cookies.

Yes.

But the delivery service
is also appreciated.

- How's Laura?
- She's good,

but I just heard about

the residency program
getting shut down.

Am I gonna need to find her
a new hospital?

It is not shut down.

It's on probation, and it's just
the surgical residency program.

Oh, okay, great.
So I'll just make sure

the paramedics don't send me
here if I get hit by a car.

Our attending
surgeons are very good.

Yeah?
Is that why they kicked you out?

Um, I have to get going
to a meeting,

but I'll see you later?

- Yes.
- Okay.

Okay.

I didn't realize you were still
hanging out with Tad.

It's Todd, and yes.

He brought me
cookies.

Because he's nice.

How thoughtful.

What's so funny?

Nothing. I just see how hard
you're trying to like him.

I want nice
to be my type.

Great.
I support that.

Hey, so, uh...

So, this morning with Leo...

Yeah, we should figure out
what to do.

What do you mean,
"what to do"?

Well,
he's obviously confused.

We should get a therapist.

I mean, one for him and...
And one for us and...

Help! We need...

Oh, wow.

Get a gurney now!

What's his name?
What's his name?

C-Colin.Okay.

Alright, ma'am,
step over here, please.

His name is Colin...
Colin Renfield.

We work together at
an e-tail fulfillment center.

His arm got cut off on the
conveyor belt 20 minutes ago.

Is that the, uh...

His arm.

Okay,
let's get saline and ice.

Let's get him to Trauma One now.
Let's go.

Is there anything else
you need from me?

- No, we're good, thank you.
- Okay, good.

Why don't you wait over here
and we'll...

Oh, God, she's going down! I got her!

Alright,
get the wheelchair.

Alright. Alright.

We got you.

He's a little hypotensive.
Normal sats.

Let's type and cross him for blood.
Colin?

Colin, we're gonna do
a quick X-ray

to assess your injuries,
okay?

Push another 50
of fentanyl.

You can put my arm back on,
right?

We're gonna do
our very best.

- Okay? I promise.
- My wife...

We'll inform her right away.

This is a marathon surgery.
Could be 10 hours.

Are you sure
you're up for it?

No shame calling in
reinforcements.

What reinforcements?

Okay, let's page neuro

and tell the OR
we are on our way.

Let's go.

Heart rate and blood pressure
are improving.

Sorry.

I got... woozy.

It's okay.
You had a vasovagal response.

It could be triggered
by a number of things.

The sight of blood,
emotional distress...

How's Colin?
Can they reattach his arm?

They're still trying
to figure it out.

It was horrifying.

It just keeps replaying in
my head, over and over again.

You saw it happen?

The gears on
the conveyor belt...

They made a terrible noise,

and then
Colin started screaming

and his arm
ripped off his shoulder

and went flying around,

spraying blood everywhere.

It was on the floor,
on the merchandise.

Some of it hit my mouth.

I...

Oh, no,
it's happening again.

Alright. That's alright.
We got you.

I have a woman pregnant

with a transplanted uterus
and her dead husband's sperm,

and she's now
experiencing pain.

I mean, should I
be transferring her

to a hospital that
isn't on probation?

Well, the hospital isn't
on probation.

Just the surgical
residency program.

And also this

hospital's been through much worse.

Okay, that doesn't
make me feel better.

But the transplant
worked?

Tovah's
officially pregnant?

- Mm-hmm.
- One uterus, two IVF cycles.

She is 11 weeks today.

That's amazing.

So, how much is David Hamilton
offering you?

Sorry.
Oh, come on.

The rumors
are everywhere.

I made so many people angry
by even considering it.

Bailey? And Richard.

Meredith Grey back in neuro,
pissing people off?

It's like I never left.

There she is.
My favorite student.

Hi, Richard.

You need to be trying to save
the program, not sulking.

I am recruiting.

These are résumés for
attending surgeons.

Right now,
you need to be focused

on keeping
the residents.

You know when a program goes on
probation, they panic, and flee,

and we lose
government funding.

Well, they'll stay if we have
enough attendings to teach them.

No, no.

We will not hire
any outside surgeons

until we have assurance that
our residents intend to stay

and plan to give good reviews to
the council's follow-up visit.

In fact, you will speak
to every one of them.

Today.
And I will observe.

Where are you going?

To line up residents to beg.

Highlight of my year.

Haven't done a full arm
reattachment in years.

I've never done one.

Believe it or not,
this is a career first.

- Irrigation.
- Good to see you back in an OR.

Are we ready
to reattach an arm?

Edges are all freshened up
and ready to go.

Alright.
Let's make sure we have

plenty of blood product on hand,
and everybody buckle up.

We are going
nerve by nerve,

vessel by vessel,
muscle by muscle.

I think we get the idea.

I'm gonna scrub.

V-fib!

He's lost too much blood.
Push epi.

Starting CPR.

I know we have
a blood shortage,

but call for
another three units!

Come on.
Come on!

Okay, back to sinus.

Hell of a first
surgery back.

Owen, you saved his life.

But now he's too unstable
to reattach the arm.

- Life before limb.
- I wanted to save both, okay?

Let's get him up to the ICU
and prep him for resuscitation.

That's your baby.

Heartbeat's strong.

Oh, my God.

Thank you.

Hi, baby.
Hi, sweetheart.

Sorry.

You don't need to be sorry.

I'm scared.

It's my last embryo,

from the last of
my husband's sperm.

And it's still there.Yeah.

Okay, I'm gonna switch to
Doppler now, Schmitt.

Have a look at
the uterine vessels.

So, if the baby's okay,

why am I feeling all this
pressure in my belly?

That is what we're trying to
figure out, Tovah.

Have a look, Schmitt.

Oh.

What? What is it?
Tell me.

It looks like
there's diminished blood

flowing to both sides
of the uterus, Tovah.

Right side looks
a little thrombosed.

It's a-a blood clot.

Oh, no. Oh, God.
But the baby...

The baby is fine, okay?

We just need to order
some more scans.

Alright, let's order an MR angio
right away,

and page Webber and Grey.

I want their eyes on this
in case we need an IR intervention.

Uh, both of them? They're...
They're having a little...

Yeah, I don't care.
I'm not a high-school teacher.

I don't care who's talking
to who and who isn't.

Page Webber and Grey.

Yes.

Okay.
Step at a time, Tovah.

How's Colin?

He's okay.

There was a slight complication
in the operating room,

but we were able
to resuscitate him.

Thank God.

And his arm?

At this point,
he's just not stable enough

to withstand a 10-hour surgery
to reattach it.

So, you'll do it later?

Unfortunately,
without blood flow...

his arm won't survive
much longer.

This is all my fault.

Yesterday, when I got to work,

I saw that one of the conveyor
belts was acting up again,

but I didn't tell anyone
to fix it.

When I got to work
this morning,

I wasn't paying attention,

and then
he switched it on.

I could have
done something.

I could have stopped this
from even happening.

Can I see him?

Of course.

Think about
all the military vets

that we've seen
lose limbs in combat,

and they've gone on
to live very full lives.

It's gonna be an adjustment,
but...

Wait,
where are you going?

To find that arm.

I think
I can save it.

Two rounds of IVF,
11 weeks today, so...

- Hey.
- Hey.

Um, we already have
a general surgeon.

Oh.
Well, if I'm not needed here.

Yeah, that's a good idea.

Just leave
and that'll fix everything.

You are, and she is.

You're not exactly subtle,
you know that?

Okay,
as delightful as this is,

I have a patient at risk of
losing her uterus and a fetus,

so if we could just
focus up here, please.

Damn it. The right outflow
is completely clotted off.

The left side is severely
stenosed, but salvageable.

We could do a fibrinolysis
and dissolve the clot.

Not if you don't want to
kill the fetus.

Well, of course
I don't want to kill the fetus.

We could do a balloon
angioplasty on the left side

and see if that
widens the blood vessel.

Let's prep her for angio.

You don't need
the both of us there.

On a normal case, I wouldn't,
but this isn't a normal case.

Tovah's making medical history.
We all are.

Look,
I don't care what kind of

giant dumpster fire
this hospital is,

I refuse to let Tovah
burn with it.

So, we're all adults here.
Let's act like it.

- The ashes are falling.
- Oh!

Hi, Bailey.

H-How are you?

I'm desperate.
I'm in need.

And if I remember correctly,

I've been very good to you
when you were in need.

Do you need
something specific?

I need you back
as a general surgery attending.

And I know how big
an ask this is,

and I wouldn't be coming to you
if I had other options.

You want me to just give up
my OB residency spot a year in?

As soon as the program
is off probation,

you can return to OB.

Okay, and what if they fill
my spot in the meantime?

On average,
I'm having to cancel

seven scheduled surgeries
per day.

That's seven patients
who have to wait.

That's seven surgeries that
residents do not get to assist.

If I had even one more attending
on the schedule,

you, well, I could
cut that number in half.

Bailey...

Please,
don't make me beg.

I don't like it,
and I'm not very good at it.

Do I have to decide
right now?

You have to decide yesterday,
if possible.

This hospital has given you
a lot, Wilson.

Hopefully,
you'll return the favor.

That little Band-Aid's supposed
to monitor all my vitals?

Heart rhythm, oxygen levels,
respiratory rate.

There is even something to
measure your sleep quality.

Whatever happened to
the good old stethoscope?

Alright.
Here you go.

Sorry, our Wi-Fi
is not having it today.

Stethoscopes
don't need no Wi-Fi.

Oh, it's up!

It says he's dead.

- What?
- Huh?

Yeah, it...

Okay, hold on.

Ah!

Try it now.

Oh, no, you're dead, too.

I find that
slightly comforting.

You basically re-created
an entire circulatory system

to support the arm.

It's called ex-vivo
limb perfusion.

It was being tested
for military use

when Teddy and I
were in Iraq.

- Think it'll work?
- I hope so.

I'll keep you both
posted.

Thank you.

That's so cool.

Owen, this technique hasn't been
approved for civilian use.

And if it works,
what does it matter?

- If the military finds out...
- Then they will say,

"Congratulations, Dr. Hunt.
You saved an arm."

Do you really want
their attention right now?

I will cross that bridge
if it comes to it.

Oh.
So your plan is to just wing it?

Is that what
you want to do with Leo?

Owen,
this is a big deal.

What happened this morning
is a big deal.

Our son told us
that he's a girl.

Yes, and you immediately said,
"No, you're not."

I know. I'm sorry.
It... It was a mistake.

We've... We've let him
wear dresses

and we've laughed
and smiled,

but maybe we should be
paying closer attention.

We can't just wing it.

Think about how
your mom is gonna react.

We need to have a plan so that
we can try and help him.

The only thing that needs help
in this exact moment

is our patient.

So, can you please just go
and check on him

while I try and keep this arm
from dying?

Four generations
of surgeons.

All students of
Dr. Richard Webber.

Technically, it's three
generations, plus Dr. Webber.

I-I literally don't know
why I'm talking.

You know,
there was a time when

being my student
meant something.

But now,
there's no loyalty.

Spare me the loyalty speech,
please.

In case you're curious,
Schmitt,

Dr. Montgomery was a machine
during her residency.

There was a stretch where

she and Derek Shepherd
were my students.

We're doing this now,
huh?

They did these gauntlets of
back-to-back surgeries

over the course
of several days.

I mean, no sleep,
barely a meal break.

I mean,
it was astonishing.

That's one version
of the story.

Care to elaborate?

Not particularly.

Let's just say that
my memory of that time

isn't quite as romantic
as yours, Dr. Webber.

Well, would you prefer
that I talk about

your residency years instead,
Meredith?

No, I would not.

Of course the HeartPatches
are garbage.

My brother is
a walking pawn shop.

Maybe we got a bad batch.

Or maybe we didn't
apply it properly.

Yeah, you know, somehow,
I doubt that.

Okay.
Let's see.

Hey, your pulse ox is good,
heart rate is good.

Why don't you try
doing something

to increase
your heart rate?

What are you doing?
What are you doing?

I am increasing
my heart rate.

Is it working?

Actually, yeah.

Mm.

Oh, no.
Oh.

Well,
I know you're not dead.

You wanna stop
and go tell Wendell right now?

Mnh-mnh.

Nope.

Hey.

If you tell me this coffee's
only for attendings,

I will break the pot
into a thousand pieces.

Okay.
I'm sorry for earlier.

You deserve a nice guy.

It's...

Bailey asked me to come back
to general surgery

to save the program.

Wow.

Yeah.

So,
what are you gonna do?

I don't know.
I just...

Can we grab dinner tonight?

I just... I need to talk this
through over several drinks.

Aren't you going out
with Todd?

Yes, but he doesn't
talk medicine

or accreditation probation,
so can you please just join us?

Unless it's weird.

Nope. Not weird.

I'll do all the pros and cons
of vaginas versus colons.

With the nice guy
you're dating.

Thank you.
Joe's?

- Of course.
- You're the best.

Oh. Thank you.

Yeah.

So, um,

ooh, what are you gonna tell
Wendell about the patch?

Uh, I'm gonna tell him
the truth.

These don't work.

It's a medical device.

What if Grey-Sloan
bought them?

While on probation?

This place cannot... Whoa!

Maggie, Winston.

What's up, bro?
You never texted me back.

Is your shirt
inside out?

Yeah, I'm... I'm just...

Wait, are you gonna
leave us a review?

'Cause, you know I work off
commissions, right?

And, uh, a rave from
a renowned heart surgeon

would definitely
give me a sales bump.

These don't work.

Ah, get out of here.

What?

Oh, oh, oh.
You know what?

I-I know what
the problem was.

I gave you the beta models
from testing.

No, these...
These are discontinued.

Let me give you
the retail model.

Fully FDA approved.

Okay, yeah,
I guess we could try those.

Right, Winston?

Right.

Let's go.

Inflating the balloon.

Let's get the stent
ready.

When did it become a thing
that we "owe" the hospital

that we did
our residency at?

You trained at Columbia.

I don't see you
still working there.

I don't think that's
what anyone's saying.

I have earned the right
to spread my wings.

Of course you have.
But it's not just about that.

Amelia told me that
when you had COVID,

this place nearly broke
without you.

100%.

The hospital broke
because of COVID.

And you weren't there to
lead them through it.

I may remember you
as a featherweight

in light blue scrubs,
but apparently,

you've become some sort of
hospital mascot

in the years since then.

Okay,
removing the catheter.

You know that Richard's not mad
because he's losing a surgeon.

I'm not his student
anymore.

You were never
just his student.

Fetal decels.

The uterus isn't getting
enough blood flow.

Contrast
and shoot fluoro.

That left vessel is
completely clotted off.

It's over.

Damn it!
Okay, um...

Let's prep an ex-lap
and remove the uterus and fetus.

Okay, no, no, no.

We can do
a vascular revision.

If we can harvest
the saphenous vein,

we can maybe bypass
the thrombosed vessels

and save the pregnancy
and the uterus.

Prep the abdomen
and leg.

We're opening her up,
and Richard,

I swear, if your head's
not in this...

I'm right here.
Let's do it.

Scrubbing in.

Oh, Dr. Wright.

Do come in.

I've heard so many
good things about you.

Wow.
Really?

Yes.
Dr. Bailey is quite the fan.

Well, uh,
the feeling's mutual.

Dr. Wright,
why do you draw?

I mean, I know
you draw every surgery

before you perform it,
but why?

I'm ambitious,
Dr. Bailey.

I always knew
I wanted to be a surgeon,

but it's hard to have
the patience it takes...

doing every step without
getting ahead of yourself.

But when you
draw the body,

I mean, you see the body,
yeah,

but by taking the time
to draw it,

you're telling yourself that
the body's worth your time,

worth taking
a closer look at.

So then, when a body's
on an operating table,

it's... it's not something
trying to defeat you.

The body's a work of art.

What's this?

Um, it's the, uh, forms

to complete your transfer,
uh, back to the Clinic.

Oh, you mean
from the Clinic?

I called your program director
in Minnesota.

They still haven't
filled your spot.

- Miranda.
- Did I do something wrong?

Quite the opposite.
Your work is stellar.

You are one of
the finest residents

I've had the pleasure
of teaching.

Which is why
you need to leave.

Dr. Bailey, can we have a word
outside, please?

This is my office. If you want
a word, you can have it here.

Dr. Wright, what Dr. Bailey's
trying to say to you...

What I am trying to say is
if I fail to save this program,

which I might
through no fault of my own,

every resident
will be orphaned.

I don't know if you'd be able to
get a spot somewhere else,

and I want to
protect your future.

So, please,

go back to Minnesota.

Geographer's
"The Reason" plays...

And hey, you can still learn
from Meredith Grey out there.

♪ What have I become?

Clot scissors, please.

♪ Water on the sun

Cutting the vein.

Removing the vein.

Syringe, please.

♪ The bullet in the gun

Let's flush the vein.

♪ The light inside the siren

No leaking.

Perfect.

Here you go, Dr. Webber.

♪ The reason's going
in and out ♪

Suture.

♪ Our lonely ghosts
will scream and shout ♪

One more.

There we go.

♪ If they could only
hear me now ♪

I think we're done here.

Okay. Unclamp.

Unclamping.

- ♪ They'd leave ♪
- Sponge stick.

♪ Their chains upon the ground ♪

♪ 'Cause the reason's
with me now ♪

Blood flow looks good.

No leaks.
I think we did it.

Schmitt, go and get the Doppler
and check the fetal heartbeat.

Stand by.

Schmitt?

No.

No.

No!

Addison,
I'm so sorry.

Yeah, me, too.

Okay,
let's prep for a D&C.

This looks like
the same model.

It is.
There is no other model.

I don't understand.

I got a loan,
and I bought it.

All of it.

You're saying
it doesn't work?

Look, Winston, if I can't
sell this stuff...

You got a loan?

Yeah, like...
Like, from a bank?

Not from a bank.

How could you
be this stupid?

No, you know what?
How could Ibe this stupid?

You said
you had a real job.

You were working on commission.
You lied to me.

It works.

I swear. I-I saw it on
an online presentation.

Oh, my God, dude.

Look,
I saw an opportunity.

Surgeons in the family,

direct connection
to the Fox Foundation.

Look, I put the pieces together,
and I went for it.

How much are you out?

10 grand.

Look, everything I have
is in this.

If you're saying
it doesn't work,

if... if I can't
sell this stuff...

you have to
help me sell it

or pay back the loan.

Wendell...

If you're my brother,

if we're family,
you will.

You have to help me.

Please.

Colin's wife
is half an hour away.

It worked?

Yep.
Toxins are flushing,

arm is looking pink,

and tissue is
oxygenating properly.

That's great news.

Listen, Teddy, I'm not
winging it with Leo, okay?

I'm just... I thought
this might happen

ever since he started
wearing a tutu, didn't you?

At four?
No.

I thought we were raising a son
who loves dress-up.

Teddy, if Leo says,
"I'm a girl,"

I'm gonna listen. So, that's it?

We're just gonna tell everyone
that Leo's a girl now?

What, before he can even
tie his own shoes?

Maybe? I don't know.

He might change his mind
in two months.

Then we'll just tell everyone
that he's a boy again.

Won't that be
even more confusing?

I don't know, Teddy.

I don't have all the answers,
okay?

I just think we have to
follow his lead.

Meredith Grey.

Catherine, I can't do this
right now.

You would leave this place
right when it...

- Catherine...
- Do not interrupt me!

Please don't talk to her
that way.

You are not her boss,
nor are you mine.

- Boss?
- Excuse you?

This is about honor.

This is about the standing
of this hospital.

- Okay, can we not do this?
- The standing of this foundation!

Can we just stop?!

For a minute.

A woman just
lost her pregnancy.

A pregnancy
that she fought for

with everything that she had
left in her body.

Through grief, through pain,
through loss.

She fought
and she lost her pregnancy.

Can we just take a moment
and honor her?

Just a moment
to honor Tovah?

Luke Sital-Singh's
"Turning Tides" plays...

Mrs. Renfield, your husband has
been through major trauma.

Will he be okay?

He has to be okay.

We've given him
some time to stabilize,

but we've scheduled
his surgery

for first thing
tomorrow morning.

It was touch and go,
but in the end,

we were able to save it.

We're gonna
reattach the arm.

Thank God.

Thank you.
Thank you so much.

♪ Maybe this time

♪ There'll be more to say

♪ It'll all have changed

I'm so sorry, Tovah.

We'll try again,
just as soon as we can.

♪ I've got a worried mind

♪ Maybe half the time

When my grandfather died,

our rabbi taught me
the Mourner's Kaddish.

I know it's not really
the normal time to say it,

but it's always helped me.

♪ And I get hurt

♪ But I get by

Yitgadal v'yitkadash sh'mei
raba b'alma di-v'ra

chirutei,
v'yamlich malchutei

b'chayeichon uvyomeichon
uvchayei,

d'chol beit yisrael,

ba'agala uvizman kariv.

V'im'ru.
Amen.

Amen.

♪ Like an unheard prayer

♪ But it's alright

♪ If we just hold on tight

♪ They'll be wearing gold

♪ When my story's told

♪ I love

I feel like I failed her.

Her uterus is still intact.

She can try again.

Yeah,
but not with her husband.

♪ Can someone slow
the turning tides ♪

You really don't remember
your residency fondly?

Do you?

Oh, come on, Richard.

You changed my life.
Okay?

But I remember pain.

I remember insomnia.

I remember
bullying attendings.

I remember learning
to treat patients

as wins and losses
instead of people.

Took me years
to unlearn that.

I mean, people haven't
complained before.

I mean, not like this.

Come on.

We couldn't complain.

I couldn't complain.

The surgery world's small.

If you complain,
you lose your spot,

and you never get it back.
That...

was the culture,
and you know it, Richard.

Look, you know,
you are trying to save

a version of the program
that is old.

It's broken, alright?

You gotta stop with
the reminiscing about the past

and... look to the future.

What's the new way
to train surgeons?

I tried that.
It got us shut down.

Well... try again.

♪ Ooh

♪ Oh, I won't be far behind

So, if you say yes...

Then I could lose
my OB residency spot.

And if she says no,
then the chief of surgery

asked her for a favor,
and she was like, "Nah."

Got it.
So, it's a Hobson's choice.

Mm.

When you're offered
a choice

and there's really
only one option.

Oh.

When I was in grad school,
I told my dissertation chair

that I wanted to
study the impact

of climate change
on global migration.

So, in addition to
environmental science,

it would involve public policy,
sociology, and geography.

Is this story your way of
telling us you have a PhD?

I already knew that, but isn't
that what you studied?

Yeah.
I decided to go for it.

I basically lived at
the library, but I did it,

and I didn't have to
spend a year of my life

studying the atmospheric
effect of moss,

which is what
she wanted me to do.

I mean,
no offense to moss,

but point is,
maybe you could do both.

I mean, I know
it'd be more work,

but if that's what you want,
I say go for it.

What he said.

Yeah.

Keep your residency
and moonlight for Bailey.

I've seen you
handle worse.

But I have a baby.
I have a tiny human.

Right. It's only for a few weeks,

or a few months,

and, uh, I can help you out
with Luna.

I could help
with Luna, too.

Yeah, no, scratch that.

Next round's on me,
though.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Hey.

Hey.

I want Leo
to be happy.

I never wanted anything but
happiness for our kids.

But I just, uh...

I don't want to mess this up,

and it just feels like there are
a million ways to get it wrong,

and if Leo were 10, then we'd be
having a different conversation,

but he's not, and, you know,
neither one of us

has done enough research
to know how to handle this.

And...

I want to get it right,
and going all-in now,

it just... it doesn't
seem right, Owen.

Hey, you remember when Leo
said that he was an owl?

Did you feel the need
to, you know,

call him silly
and correct him?

- No.
- No.

No, you just loved him.

You just let him explore.

Let's just love Leo,
okay?

Let's listen
when he tells us who he is.

It's more complicated
than that.

Yeah. Yeah.
It is.

Then let's get a therapist.

But for us.

For us, not for Leo.

I'm not correcting Leo.

I'm not telling Leo that there
is something wrong with Leo.

Let's not be
our kid's first bully.

Yeah,
I agree with all of that.

I-I just...

What if we don't agree
on the approach?

Honestly?

Honestly, I don't know.

Therapy it is.

Yeah.

I was in pain

when you came to see me.

You dumped me
and told me to go away.

I know. I did.

But...

when you were in pain,
I kept showing up.

I guess that's the difference
between me and you.

Um, I-I've arranged
a phone call for us

with a major consultant

to help us with
a more formalized plan.

Where are you going?

- On vacation.
- What?

I haven't just taken
a vacation day ever in my life,

and I have
a new little girl at home,

two teenaged boys who haven't
seen both me and Ben

in the same room in months,

and... they need me.

This hospital needs you.

Yeah.

This hospital needs
too much of me.

No, I'm done
being the superhero.

If Meredith Grey can go away,
then so can I.

Miranda...

Catherine,
I respect the hell out of you.

You know I do.

And I know you understand
what it's like

to be a woman at the top of her
field who isn't allowed to rest.

So, I need you to hear me
when I say

I'm not quitting,

I'm not taking a leave

or saying that
I can't handle this job.

I am taking
a vacation... day.

Maybe two.

'Cause I'm no good to you
like this.

Put simply, burnout comes from
a deep imbalance.

Too much stress
with too few rewards.

You're exhausted, depleted.

♪ Feel so restless

♪ Feel so out of time

You no longer have patience,
pleasure, or serotonin.

This is the end, unless...

What are you
doing here?

Well, you know what?

I don't even care.
I'm so happy to see you.

No, but ask me.

I have a speech.

Oh. Okay.

Nick,
what are you doing here?

Don't come to Minnesota.

Look,
if you leave right now,

your people won't be okay,
and you won't be okay.

You won't be happy,

and you'll always resent me
just a little bit.

And I know
you have kids.

They're gonna have to
get used to me being around,

but I am gonna
get my own place,

and we are gonna do this thing
the normal way.

You know,
having dinner together

and not having to get on a plane
just to kiss each other.

And look, I have days,
I have tons of personal days,

and I'm taking a few months
and I'm staying here,

and I'm gonna work locum tenens
at Grey-Sloan,

and we can be together.

Here.

I have the right to leave.

I've earned
the right to leave.

Other people from
my residency class,

they left and took
other opportunities.

I stayed. I worked.
I researched.

I won awards
for that place.

I did everything that was
expected of me, and then some.

And now, if I want to leave,
I'm considered disloyal?

It's ridiculous.
It's absurd.

You know what else it is?

It's my decision,
and I've made my decision.

So this is all
very patronizing.

♪ If you think you were wrong

♪ Every time that
your eyes meet mine ♪

♪ I feel unsteady

Okay.

I-I wasn't suggesting
we stay here forever.

I'm suggesting we stay long
enough to save the program.

And then
we can go to Minnesota.

We can go wherever we want,

because you have absolutely
earned the right to leave.

You couldn't have
led with that?

I thought I had.
I'm sorry.

♪ Ooh

Now you've seen
my angry side.

I'm not gonna lie,
it was... kinda scary.

You turn it into something else

and find your path to recovery.

What?

Okay. Fine.

We can stay.

But just for
a little while.

Pick the pieces you want
from your life

and find a new way forward.

♪ We were not ready

♪ To fall ♪
Subtitles: Synchronized by srjanapala