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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,825 --> 00:00:03,825 I mean, when my boyfriend Oscar found out 2 00:00:03,921 --> 00:00:05,771 that my best friend Max told me he wanted to kiss me, 3 00:00:05,996 --> 00:00:07,436 I didn't know how he'd react. 4 00:00:07,779 --> 00:00:08,779 Oscar? 5 00:00:08,946 --> 00:00:10,856 Are you there? 6 00:00:11,001 --> 00:00:12,001 Are you mad? 7 00:00:12,095 --> 00:00:14,335 Damn Joey Lawrence and his big mouth. 8 00:00:14,431 --> 00:00:16,011 I forgot to mention that part. 9 00:00:16,026 --> 00:00:19,096 Oscar found out about the whole Max thing from Joey Lawrence. 10 00:00:19,123 --> 00:00:21,013 You remember that show, right? It was, like, him 11 00:00:21,031 --> 00:00:23,181 and the sister with the flower hat. She used to, like, 12 00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:24,780 - dance like this... - Whoa! 13 00:00:24,796 --> 00:00:26,786 Exactly! "Whoa!" Anyway, 14 00:00:26,944 --> 00:00:29,194 Oscar didn't say anything for almost three minutes, 15 00:00:29,206 --> 00:00:30,446 and I was starting to freak out. 16 00:00:30,468 --> 00:00:33,208 I'm starting to freak out. Say something. 17 00:00:34,472 --> 00:00:35,962 Okay, now you're standing. Is standing good? 18 00:00:36,192 --> 00:00:38,472 I mean, it can be. That movie Stand and Deliver was good, 19 00:00:38,695 --> 00:00:41,355 but Stephen King's The Stand was so scary. 20 00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:43,298 You... picked... me! 21 00:00:43,533 --> 00:00:45,373 Over Max, with his perfect hair, 22 00:00:45,389 --> 00:00:47,479 chiseled jaw and searing blue eyes. 23 00:00:47,704 --> 00:00:49,524 So you're not mad? 24 00:00:53,898 --> 00:00:55,878 He was not mad. 25 00:00:55,973 --> 00:00:58,143 In fact, things got a little smoky, 26 00:00:58,162 --> 00:00:59,382 if you know what I mean. 27 00:00:59,549 --> 00:01:00,979 That's a nice story. 28 00:01:01,071 --> 00:01:02,151 Can I have my coffee now? 29 00:01:02,166 --> 00:01:03,206 Oh! Yeah. 30 00:01:03,219 --> 00:01:05,479 Sorry. Enjoy! 31 00:01:05,503 --> 00:01:08,083 Little tip: don't ask her how her day's going. 32 00:01:09,173 --> 00:01:11,123 Hi. How are you doing today? 33 00:01:11,989 --> 00:01:13,059 Fine. 34 00:01:13,083 --> 00:01:15,343 I'm fine, too. You want to know why? 35 00:01:15,565 --> 00:01:17,955 It all started at Mr. Meowskers' funeral. 36 00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:24,600 Special delivery for Ms. Katharine Silver. 37 00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:27,501 Well, golly gee, that's me. 38 00:01:28,265 --> 00:01:29,595 Is this actually mine though? 39 00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:31,266 No, kiss is the special delivery. 40 00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:32,695 That's just a prop. 41 00:01:32,770 --> 00:01:33,830 Oh, my goodness, 42 00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:36,917 I cannot get over how cute y'all are. 43 00:01:36,941 --> 00:01:38,341 How long you been dating now? 44 00:01:38,348 --> 00:01:39,758 How long have we been dating? 45 00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:40,950 Well, when do we start counting? 46 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,321 Yeah, is it the first time we met? 47 00:01:42,509 --> 00:01:43,709 Ooh, or the first time we kissed? 48 00:01:43,843 --> 00:01:46,513 Or the, uh, first time we, you know... 49 00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:48,907 You mean the first time I rocked your world? 50 00:01:50,016 --> 00:01:52,356 Let's just go with when you met. 51 00:01:52,519 --> 00:01:53,789 Almost four months. 52 00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:55,457 Aw. How y'all gonna celebrate? 53 00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:58,626 Marty and I got our ears pierced on our four-month anniversary. 54 00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:01,465 Oh, uh, we don't really have anything planned. 55 00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:03,032 Did you want to do something? 56 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:04,700 I got both my ears pierced in college. 57 00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:05,881 They got really infected. 58 00:02:06,032 --> 00:02:07,042 I almost lost a lobe. 59 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:09,140 But I am willing to roll the dice for you. 60 00:02:09,369 --> 00:02:10,539 No, that's okay. 61 00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:12,717 I... I like your ears just the way they are. 62 00:02:12,872 --> 00:02:14,122 They are nice. 63 00:02:14,144 --> 00:02:16,064 Very soft. 64 00:02:17,043 --> 00:02:18,323 As weirdly soothing as this is, 65 00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:20,882 I should probably deliver this package before I lose it. 66 00:02:20,891 --> 00:02:22,061 Does that happen often? 67 00:02:22,215 --> 00:02:24,605 Officially? No. 68 00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:28,333 Oh! You forgot your phone! 69 00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:29,482 One more kiss for the road? 70 00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:31,223 Permission to dip my best gal? 71 00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:33,714 Permission granted, sailor. 72 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:38,670 - Oh! Oh, God! - Ow! 73 00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:43,839 Okay. 74 00:02:45,572 --> 00:02:47,082 Catch you on the flip side. 75 00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:50,080 - Toodles! - Did you just say "toodles"? 76 00:02:50,087 --> 00:02:52,347 He started it with "flip side." 77 00:02:53,413 --> 00:02:54,413 I don't know how to act when he's around. 78 00:02:54,414 --> 00:02:55,524 No, I get it. 79 00:02:55,748 --> 00:02:57,518 I just really hope we can get past this. 80 00:02:57,678 --> 00:03:00,088 I don't expect you to be besties or anything. 81 00:03:00,097 --> 00:03:02,167 I'm lying. I do. 82 00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:04,355 I did kinda like him before. 83 00:03:04,528 --> 00:03:05,838 Yeah, let's build on that. 84 00:03:05,936 --> 00:03:09,196 You know, you can't just throw away "kinda like." 85 00:03:10,930 --> 00:03:12,540 I guess I'm up for it if Max is. 86 00:03:12,703 --> 00:03:13,703 Thank you. 87 00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,270 Oh. I landed on this. 88 00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:16,348 Are you gonna get in trouble? 89 00:03:16,373 --> 00:03:17,603 No. Happens all the time. 90 00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:20,174 - Really? - Officially? No. 91 00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:23,442 Okay. 92 00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:24,547 I have to go. 93 00:03:24,777 --> 00:03:25,947 I'm gonna be late for work. 94 00:03:25,945 --> 00:03:27,285 Aw, just five more minutes. 95 00:03:27,384 --> 00:03:28,624 No, you said that ten minutes ago. 96 00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:30,215 You're like a sexy snooze button. 97 00:03:31,451 --> 00:03:33,391 You know you talk in your sleep? 98 00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,387 - Did you know you fart in yours? - Yeah. 99 00:03:35,622 --> 00:03:38,142 You told me in your sleep. 100 00:03:38,291 --> 00:03:40,141 What's the deal with this tattoo? 101 00:03:40,293 --> 00:03:42,073 Uh, it's a fish. 102 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,142 I can see it's a fish. 103 00:03:44,297 --> 00:03:45,737 What does it mean? 104 00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:46,892 What's it matter? 105 00:03:46,966 --> 00:03:48,046 I don't know. I mean, 106 00:03:48,145 --> 00:03:49,885 there's just so much I don't know about you. 107 00:03:49,907 --> 00:03:52,717 Well, I like keeping things mysterious with us. 108 00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:54,646 You know, we are secret hookup friends, 109 00:03:54,745 --> 00:03:56,975 not "know your time of birth" friends. 110 00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:59,310 Wait, I'll give you a ride. 111 00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:00,732 We can't show up at the same time. 112 00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:03,154 Kat is already suspicious about where I've been sleeping. 113 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,903 Wouldn't it just be easier to tell everyone about us? 114 00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:06,996 Nope. 115 00:04:07,091 --> 00:04:09,321 Okay, but before you go, 116 00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,316 one small detail about you. 117 00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:12,498 Your middle name. 118 00:04:12,596 --> 00:04:13,996 Nope. 119 00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:15,330 Thank you 120 00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:17,308 for the intercourse. 121 00:04:23,273 --> 00:04:25,113 Hey. I brought you something. 122 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:26,415 Ooh, muffin. 123 00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:28,005 I asked you not to call me that. 124 00:04:28,018 --> 00:04:31,348 Your dad would be proud to know his jokes live on. 125 00:04:31,448 --> 00:04:33,018 Hey, uh, while I'm here, 126 00:04:33,117 --> 00:04:35,027 maybe we could talk about the Oscar thing? 127 00:04:38,351 --> 00:04:39,791 Come on, Max. This is important. 128 00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:43,835 Fine. We'll do it your way. 129 00:04:47,871 --> 00:04:49,041 ♪ You can't use music ♪ 130 00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:51,929 ♪ To avoid the subject ♪ 131 00:04:52,865 --> 00:04:53,965 ♪ Watch me ♪ 132 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:56,290 ♪ Come on, I really want you ♪ 133 00:04:56,306 --> 00:04:58,786 ♪ And Oscar to get along ♪ 134 00:04:58,809 --> 00:05:01,119 ♪ That sounds awkward ♪ 135 00:05:01,145 --> 00:05:02,975 ♪ Maybe if you hung out a little ♪ 136 00:05:03,209 --> 00:05:04,979 ♪ Things would get better ♪ 137 00:05:05,211 --> 00:05:08,491 - ♪ Please? Please? ♪ - ♪ No, no ♪ 138 00:05:08,715 --> 00:05:11,135 ♪ Please? Please? Please? ♪ 139 00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:12,978 ♪ What would we even do? ♪ 140 00:05:13,052 --> 00:05:15,412 ♪ I'm not sure ♪ 141 00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:19,330 ♪ Oscar likes kites ♪ 142 00:05:20,831 --> 00:05:23,651 ♪ I've never successfully gotten one off the ground ♪ 143 00:05:23,667 --> 00:05:25,567 ♪ Kids used to make fun of me ♪ 144 00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:29,295 ♪ But thank you for unlocking that painful memory ♪ 145 00:05:30,069 --> 00:05:32,179 ♪ Okay, no kites ♪ 146 00:05:33,072 --> 00:05:34,342 ♪ How 'bout racquetball? ♪ 147 00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:35,921 ♪ Or pickleball? ♪ 148 00:05:36,075 --> 00:05:37,245 ♪ Or other balls ♪ 149 00:05:37,347 --> 00:05:38,677 ♪ That men play together ♪ 150 00:05:38,911 --> 00:05:40,421 ♪ Stop, I'll think of something ♪ 151 00:05:40,580 --> 00:05:42,920 ♪ Thank you ♪ 152 00:05:42,926 --> 00:05:45,076 ♪ I got to get back to work ♪ 153 00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:47,758 ♪ But it's been really fun talking this way ♪ 154 00:05:47,858 --> 00:05:49,928 ♪ I'm coming round to it ♪ 155 00:05:50,089 --> 00:05:51,589 ♪ Get off your ass ♪ 156 00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:55,931 ♪ And help me unload this beer! ♪ 157 00:05:59,724 --> 00:06:01,394 Look at this soft kitty. 158 00:06:01,392 --> 00:06:03,232 Are these not the furriest paws you've ever seen? 159 00:06:03,238 --> 00:06:04,638 Clearly you have not spent 160 00:06:04,656 --> 00:06:07,156 a lot of time around Mama's feet. 161 00:06:08,055 --> 00:06:10,055 Oh, Katharine, I brought you a little something. 162 00:06:10,068 --> 00:06:11,238 Oh, thank you. 163 00:06:11,392 --> 00:06:14,152 - What is it? - It's a fertility statue. 164 00:06:14,249 --> 00:06:15,489 For your anniversary. 165 00:06:15,646 --> 00:06:18,586 Put it above your bed next time you and Oscar, 166 00:06:18,733 --> 00:06:20,403 you know, make pudding. 167 00:06:21,308 --> 00:06:25,408 This is why I was 19 before I knew where babies came from. 168 00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:27,997 How did you know it was my anniversary? 169 00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:29,406 A little birdie told me. 170 00:06:29,504 --> 00:06:31,274 Tweet, tweet. 171 00:06:31,412 --> 00:06:33,682 So, what are you and Oscar gonna do? 172 00:06:33,768 --> 00:06:38,888 Kat seems surprisingly reluctant to mark this momentous occasion. 173 00:06:38,909 --> 00:06:40,919 It's not momentous. It's four months. 174 00:06:41,015 --> 00:06:44,155 Yes, the longest relationship you've ever had. 175 00:06:44,352 --> 00:06:45,702 There should be fireworks. 176 00:06:45,926 --> 00:06:47,026 Banks should close. 177 00:06:47,261 --> 00:06:49,261 Drag queens should dress like you. 178 00:06:50,546 --> 00:06:52,696 Well, I-I suppose I could do something. 179 00:06:52,933 --> 00:06:55,043 But I've got to play it cool. I don't want to scare him off. 180 00:06:55,196 --> 00:06:56,536 You remember what happened with Ben. 181 00:06:56,698 --> 00:06:58,878 ♪ It's only been three weeks ♪ 182 00:06:59,106 --> 00:07:02,436 ♪ But I think you're kinda neat ♪ 183 00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:05,384 ♪ So this may be precursory ♪ 184 00:07:05,540 --> 00:07:08,800 ♪ But happy anniversary! ♪ 185 00:07:11,879 --> 00:07:13,549 I think we should break up. 186 00:07:14,236 --> 00:07:17,806 I wouldn't want a grandchild with Ben's eyebrows anyway. 187 00:07:17,958 --> 00:07:19,218 Oh, I have an idea. 188 00:07:19,241 --> 00:07:23,631 How 'bout I help cook a nice, tasteful dinner for you and Oscar. 189 00:07:23,652 --> 00:07:24,822 No tap shoes needed. 190 00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:27,180 Oh, you're like my own little Cupid. 191 00:07:27,332 --> 00:07:30,332 Oh, I'll bring my bow and arrows! 192 00:07:30,419 --> 00:07:31,419 Metaphorically. 193 00:07:31,503 --> 00:07:33,723 I don't need another lawsuit. 194 00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:37,420 What-what are you doing? 195 00:07:37,426 --> 00:07:38,996 I'm just getting it warmed up. 196 00:07:39,021 --> 00:07:40,691 Stop it! 197 00:07:48,906 --> 00:07:50,246 What's going on? 198 00:07:50,407 --> 00:07:52,097 Oh. I was trying not to wake you. 199 00:07:52,243 --> 00:07:53,433 I'm meeting Max to go running. 200 00:07:53,577 --> 00:07:56,517 Really? Oh, that's great! I'm so happy! 201 00:07:56,674 --> 00:07:59,104 Can I come? No, no, no, you guys need to bond. 202 00:07:59,197 --> 00:08:02,517 Um, hey, I was just thinking... if you're not busy tonight, 203 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:04,610 maybe we could do something for our anniversary. 204 00:08:04,755 --> 00:08:06,255 Sure. What'd you have in mind? 205 00:08:06,350 --> 00:08:08,590 Um, just, like, a little dinner. No big deal. 206 00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:11,103 A year anniversary... that would be a big deal. 207 00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:12,386 You know? Eight months... medium deal. 208 00:08:12,429 --> 00:08:14,199 But this, you know, it's no big deal. 209 00:08:14,431 --> 00:08:16,541 Got it. Little dinner, no big deal. 210 00:08:16,767 --> 00:08:17,867 See you tonight. 211 00:08:21,230 --> 00:08:22,270 Oh. Randi. 212 00:08:22,273 --> 00:08:24,553 - Good morning! - Is it? 213 00:08:30,875 --> 00:08:33,845 Hey! I just got to stop for a minute! 214 00:08:35,067 --> 00:08:36,287 We're not so much running together 215 00:08:36,380 --> 00:08:38,390 as I'm chasing you. 216 00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:42,654 Okay, maybe I was pushing it a bit. 217 00:08:42,741 --> 00:08:45,231 I just wanted to win at something. 218 00:08:45,963 --> 00:08:48,733 - You're taller. - Thank you. I needed that. 219 00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:52,738 Listen, I know things have been awkward between us, 220 00:08:52,897 --> 00:08:54,227 and I know it's my fault. 221 00:08:54,252 --> 00:08:56,162 You mean 'cause you made a move on my girlfriend? 222 00:08:57,308 --> 00:08:58,408 Well... 223 00:08:58,569 --> 00:09:01,419 if you want to get technical about it. 224 00:09:02,646 --> 00:09:04,476 Yeah. I owe you an apology. 225 00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:06,242 Cool. 226 00:09:06,264 --> 00:09:08,384 Cool. 227 00:09:09,267 --> 00:09:10,687 Was that it? 228 00:09:10,748 --> 00:09:12,968 Oh, I thought it was. Uh... 229 00:09:13,845 --> 00:09:14,845 I will elaborate. 230 00:09:14,919 --> 00:09:16,989 Um... 231 00:09:17,015 --> 00:09:18,255 You're a nice guy, 232 00:09:18,349 --> 00:09:20,259 and you didn't deserve what I did. 233 00:09:20,278 --> 00:09:22,188 Neither did she. 234 00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:23,270 I'm sorry. 235 00:09:23,334 --> 00:09:24,674 I can forgive you 236 00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:27,109 if we never have to go running again. 237 00:09:27,265 --> 00:09:28,265 Deal. 238 00:09:28,286 --> 00:09:29,936 - How 'bout pancakes? - Great. 239 00:09:30,174 --> 00:09:31,684 But... I need you 240 00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:32,786 - to do me a favor. - Sure. 241 00:09:32,937 --> 00:09:34,117 Carry me. 242 00:09:40,778 --> 00:09:43,018 Stop calling the café for coffee. 243 00:09:43,114 --> 00:09:44,524 Stop keeping me up all night. 244 00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:45,622 You don't mean that. 245 00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:47,300 No, I do not. 246 00:09:48,119 --> 00:09:49,289 Well, you know, Kat asked me 247 00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:51,030 to take her lingerie shopping later. 248 00:09:51,122 --> 00:09:53,622 Maybe I'll pick up something you might enjoy. 249 00:09:53,645 --> 00:09:55,585 Ooh. I would like that, 250 00:09:55,731 --> 00:09:57,311 Miss Randi Elizabeth. 251 00:09:57,461 --> 00:09:59,311 What the hell did you just call me? 252 00:09:59,463 --> 00:10:01,063 Your name? 253 00:10:01,205 --> 00:10:03,035 - But who told you? - I ain't no snitch. 254 00:10:03,134 --> 00:10:05,474 - Was it Phil? - Yes. Damn it! 255 00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:07,601 What else did he tell you about me? 256 00:10:07,597 --> 00:10:09,137 Nothing. Why are you so upset about this? 257 00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:11,147 Because I asked you not to pry into my business 258 00:10:11,246 --> 00:10:13,056 and you did it anyway. 259 00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:14,474 I got to get back to work. 260 00:10:15,730 --> 00:10:18,470 I forgot that Kat has her anniversary dinner tonight, 261 00:10:18,493 --> 00:10:19,973 so I still need a place to crash. 262 00:10:19,994 --> 00:10:21,574 But you can kiss that lingerie goodbye. 263 00:10:21,590 --> 00:10:25,070 You're gonna get my baggiest sweatpants and tube socks. 264 00:10:25,093 --> 00:10:26,093 Joke's on you! 265 00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:28,630 Because I find the tube to be the sexiest of socks! 266 00:10:34,227 --> 00:10:35,817 So, what vibe are we going for? 267 00:10:36,156 --> 00:10:37,346 Sexy and sophisticated? 268 00:10:37,491 --> 00:10:38,921 Schoolgirl with an attitude? 269 00:10:39,066 --> 00:10:41,656 Or are we talking full-on dominatrix? 270 00:10:41,902 --> 00:10:45,502 I don't know. My underwear usually comes in a four-pack. 271 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:48,075 Well, what do you think Oscar would like? 272 00:10:48,231 --> 00:10:50,081 No, we are not shopping for Oscar. 273 00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:51,243 We are shopping for you. 274 00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:53,011 What do you like? 275 00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:54,493 Um... 276 00:10:54,508 --> 00:10:55,818 This is cute. 277 00:10:55,916 --> 00:10:58,986 Okay, maybe we should shop for Oscar a little bit. 278 00:10:59,013 --> 00:11:00,493 Aren't you gonna try anything on? 279 00:11:00,514 --> 00:11:02,664 You know, for your sneaky link? 280 00:11:02,756 --> 00:11:06,756 Do not use the slang that I teach you against me. 281 00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:08,326 And he's not getting anything. 282 00:11:08,355 --> 00:11:10,095 He really irked my nerves today. 283 00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:11,263 What happened? 284 00:11:11,358 --> 00:11:12,688 He found out my middle name. 285 00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:15,102 That rat bastard. 286 00:11:15,195 --> 00:11:16,575 I just don't need him knowing 287 00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:18,246 every little detail about my life. 288 00:11:18,271 --> 00:11:19,611 Well, I like when people know 289 00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:21,202 every little detail about my life. 290 00:11:21,462 --> 00:11:23,182 I wish I could wear one of those medical bracelets, 291 00:11:23,203 --> 00:11:26,373 but, instead of allergies, it would have fun facts about Kat. 292 00:11:26,467 --> 00:11:28,117 I'd call them Kat Facts. 293 00:11:28,208 --> 00:11:30,128 Well, that's not how I operate. 294 00:11:30,283 --> 00:11:31,883 Knowledge is power, 295 00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:34,355 and I don't want anyone having power over me. 296 00:11:34,381 --> 00:11:35,811 I mean, first, it's my middle name. 297 00:11:35,956 --> 00:11:37,196 Then it's my blood type. 298 00:11:37,311 --> 00:11:39,871 Next thing you know, I'm swallowing a balloon of cocaine, 299 00:11:39,887 --> 00:11:42,797 being arrested at the border and thrown into a Turkish prison. 300 00:11:42,890 --> 00:11:46,650 You have got to stop listening to Locked Up Abroad before bed. 301 00:11:47,895 --> 00:11:50,555 And no one's gonna take your power from you. 302 00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,330 I mean, you've opened up to me, 303 00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,875 and I'm still terrified of you. 304 00:11:54,975 --> 00:11:56,825 Aw, you're sweet. 305 00:11:56,977 --> 00:11:58,497 And, for what it's worth, 306 00:11:58,645 --> 00:12:00,475 I think you can trust Carter. 307 00:12:00,574 --> 00:12:01,654 What? 308 00:12:01,742 --> 00:12:03,652 Carter? 309 00:12:03,744 --> 00:12:05,844 What makes you think it's Carter? 310 00:12:10,824 --> 00:12:12,594 Oh! Hey. 311 00:12:12,680 --> 00:12:15,330 Where'd you sneak off to last night? 312 00:12:15,349 --> 00:12:17,589 Uh, I was... with a guy. 313 00:12:17,685 --> 00:12:20,735 Ah. So that's where you've been going. 314 00:12:20,761 --> 00:12:22,021 What's his name? 315 00:12:22,169 --> 00:12:23,179 Peter... 316 00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:25,279 Backpack. 317 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:28,700 That is a completely plausible name! 318 00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:31,435 And what does that have to even do with Carter? 319 00:12:31,532 --> 00:12:33,662 Oh, I got it. 320 00:12:36,516 --> 00:12:37,606 Here. You left your earrings. 321 00:12:37,705 --> 00:12:40,275 Thank you, Peter Backpack. Bye! 322 00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:43,356 Who the hell is Peter Backpack?! 323 00:12:43,408 --> 00:12:45,098 Okay, fine, it's Carter. 324 00:12:45,119 --> 00:12:47,199 I knew it! I wasn't 100% sure, 325 00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:49,273 but now I know it's Carter! 326 00:12:49,289 --> 00:12:50,459 He's a great guy. 327 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,963 Well, yeah, I guess he's okay. 328 00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:55,886 But I'm still not sure if I should open up to him. 329 00:12:56,036 --> 00:12:58,556 I mean, I've done that before, and it gets kind of messy. 330 00:12:58,705 --> 00:13:00,385 If you keep worrying about things getting messy, 331 00:13:00,540 --> 00:13:03,140 you might miss out on things that are really great. 332 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:06,223 I mean, does ice cream end up on my face, 333 00:13:06,379 --> 00:13:09,619 in my hair, down my cleavage every time I eat it? 334 00:13:09,643 --> 00:13:11,553 Yes. But is it worth it? 335 00:13:11,572 --> 00:13:12,982 You bet. 336 00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:15,126 Okay, I keep telling you... cup instead of cone. 337 00:13:15,149 --> 00:13:16,559 But... 338 00:13:16,650 --> 00:13:17,720 I hear you. 339 00:13:17,745 --> 00:13:18,745 Now, if you would, 340 00:13:18,746 --> 00:13:19,746 drumroll, please. 341 00:13:19,747 --> 00:13:21,867 Oh. 342 00:13:29,329 --> 00:13:32,169 Randi, I have never felt sexier. 343 00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:33,312 I... 344 00:13:33,406 --> 00:13:34,426 Whoa! Oh! 345 00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,247 Sorry, ma'am. Oh, geez. I'm good. 346 00:13:36,409 --> 00:13:38,099 Whoa! I can walk like a woman. 347 00:13:38,245 --> 00:13:39,845 Oh, hey! 348 00:13:41,414 --> 00:13:42,584 Mm-mm. 349 00:13:42,603 --> 00:13:44,653 I'm just gonna hold on to this. 350 00:13:47,775 --> 00:13:50,255 Okay. The table is set, 351 00:13:50,277 --> 00:13:51,757 the champagne is chilling 352 00:13:51,779 --> 00:13:54,089 and I hid everything with googly eyes 353 00:13:54,115 --> 00:13:57,495 so they wouldn't see me slip into this. 354 00:13:57,524 --> 00:13:58,864 Oh, girl. 355 00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:02,205 That's what Mama would call a one-way ticket to hell. 356 00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:05,273 I am so glad you're getting into this. 357 00:14:05,397 --> 00:14:08,627 I'm a big believer in celebrating every moment. 358 00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,518 A nice sunrise, 359 00:14:10,537 --> 00:14:12,207 a... a perfect pie crust, 360 00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:14,292 a healthy bowel movement. 361 00:14:14,447 --> 00:14:15,967 Totally. 362 00:14:16,210 --> 00:14:18,950 Don't act like you can't relate. 363 00:14:20,224 --> 00:14:21,974 Oh. It's Oscar. 364 00:14:22,122 --> 00:14:23,122 Hi! 365 00:14:23,217 --> 00:14:24,297 Hey, babe, guess what. 366 00:14:24,395 --> 00:14:25,915 Um, you found five dollars. 367 00:14:25,928 --> 00:14:27,968 You're in jail. Pluto's a planet again. 368 00:14:28,128 --> 00:14:29,808 I love that you actually guess. 369 00:14:29,963 --> 00:14:32,143 No, I'm at a basketball game in a luxury suite. 370 00:14:32,236 --> 00:14:33,566 My boss couldn't use his tickets, 371 00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:34,980 and Max really wanted to go. 372 00:14:35,135 --> 00:14:36,905 - Oh, Max is there? - Hey, Kat! 373 00:14:37,064 --> 00:14:40,824 Oscar is the man. I haven't seen so many free hot dogs in my life. 374 00:14:40,911 --> 00:14:42,981 So does this mean you'll be a little late? 375 00:14:43,737 --> 00:14:46,807 Actually, would it be okay if we pushed dinner to tomorrow? 376 00:14:46,834 --> 00:14:48,744 Oh. Um... 377 00:14:48,752 --> 00:14:50,902 Uh, y-yeah. 378 00:14:51,005 --> 00:14:52,495 Yeah. No big deal. 379 00:14:52,652 --> 00:14:53,832 But keep an eye on Max. 380 00:14:53,924 --> 00:14:56,474 He will eat free food till he pukes. 381 00:14:57,261 --> 00:14:58,641 He has had six hot dogs. 382 00:14:58,752 --> 00:15:00,722 Seven! 383 00:15:02,329 --> 00:15:03,519 Oh. 384 00:15:04,852 --> 00:15:06,102 Oscar's not coming. 385 00:15:06,333 --> 00:15:08,613 He's at a basketball game with Max. 386 00:15:08,835 --> 00:15:10,495 Oh, no, sweetie. 387 00:15:10,524 --> 00:15:12,784 No, don't worry about it. 388 00:15:12,933 --> 00:15:14,453 Don't need these anymore. But I'm fine. 389 00:15:14,601 --> 00:15:15,841 It's totally fine. It's fine. 390 00:15:15,863 --> 00:15:16,853 It's fine, it's fine, it's fine. 391 00:15:16,937 --> 00:15:18,277 - Don't need this anymore. - No, no! 392 00:15:18,511 --> 00:15:20,011 I know you're upset. 393 00:15:20,034 --> 00:15:22,794 But if you throw any more of my cooking in the trash, 394 00:15:22,943 --> 00:15:24,753 I'll cut you. 395 00:15:26,405 --> 00:15:28,305 I just feel silly about the whole thing. 396 00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:30,239 I wish I hadn't made such a big deal out of it. 397 00:15:30,388 --> 00:15:33,558 Well, I think you should have made a bigger deal out of it. 398 00:15:33,651 --> 00:15:35,801 A rooster who doesn't crow 399 00:15:35,893 --> 00:15:37,733 cannot be mad when folks don't wake up. 400 00:15:37,822 --> 00:15:41,312 Yeah, but what if the rooster's afraid to-to lose the only hen 401 00:15:41,326 --> 00:15:43,466 who's stayed with her for four months? 402 00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:45,498 Oh, honey. 403 00:15:45,653 --> 00:15:48,593 Have some faith in yourself. 404 00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:51,839 Oscar is lucky to have you. 405 00:15:51,982 --> 00:15:53,082 Thank you. 406 00:15:53,171 --> 00:15:54,991 Aw. 407 00:15:55,006 --> 00:15:58,486 Wait a minute. Why am I not looking at the top of your head? 408 00:15:58,583 --> 00:15:59,773 Mmm. 409 00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:02,677 I couldn't help myself. 410 00:16:02,774 --> 00:16:05,024 If you're going to hell, honey, 411 00:16:05,110 --> 00:16:06,520 I'm going with you. 412 00:16:06,611 --> 00:16:09,991 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 413 00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:17,657 Hey. 414 00:16:18,780 --> 00:16:20,520 Hey. 415 00:16:20,542 --> 00:16:22,262 I didn't think I'd see you here. 416 00:16:23,024 --> 00:16:26,264 Well, Peter Backpack was busy, so... 417 00:16:27,695 --> 00:16:29,255 Sit down. I'll get us a drink. 418 00:16:31,459 --> 00:16:33,629 Listen... 419 00:16:33,722 --> 00:16:34,872 you were right. 420 00:16:34,890 --> 00:16:37,370 You laid out some very clear, 421 00:16:37,392 --> 00:16:38,612 very strict... 422 00:16:38,633 --> 00:16:41,903 some would say illogical... boundaries... 423 00:16:42,731 --> 00:16:44,971 ... and I did not respect them. 424 00:16:45,067 --> 00:16:47,307 That's on me, 425 00:16:47,465 --> 00:16:48,565 and I'm sorry. 426 00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:50,146 I appreciate that. 427 00:16:50,238 --> 00:16:53,528 I know that you were just trying to get to know me better. 428 00:16:54,222 --> 00:16:55,792 That's all I want. 429 00:16:56,818 --> 00:17:00,058 Then allow me to introduce myself. 430 00:17:00,155 --> 00:17:02,745 My name is Miranda Elizabeth Hamilton. 431 00:17:02,980 --> 00:17:04,750 Elizabeth was my nana's name. 432 00:17:04,982 --> 00:17:06,662 My favorite color is green. 433 00:17:06,755 --> 00:17:08,085 I've never seen Titanic. 434 00:17:08,236 --> 00:17:10,256 Ooh, and automatic toilets freak me out. 435 00:17:10,404 --> 00:17:12,434 I'll tell you when I'm done. 436 00:17:12,573 --> 00:17:14,433 Good to know. 437 00:17:14,659 --> 00:17:16,149 The Titanic thing is troubling, 438 00:17:16,171 --> 00:17:17,931 but my heart will go on. 439 00:17:18,767 --> 00:17:21,227 You'd get that if you'd seen it. 440 00:17:22,437 --> 00:17:25,107 And you asked about my fish tattoo. 441 00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:28,163 I got it to remind me that when things get tough 442 00:17:28,183 --> 00:17:30,193 to just keep swimming. 443 00:17:30,341 --> 00:17:31,851 Like in Finding Nemo. 444 00:17:31,947 --> 00:17:34,947 - Finding who? - Have you seen any movies? 445 00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:38,576 Please, keep going. 446 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:42,120 Okay. Um... 447 00:17:43,271 --> 00:17:46,181 I don't usually talk about this, but... 448 00:17:46,274 --> 00:17:48,804 when I got my tattoo, I was... 449 00:17:48,943 --> 00:17:52,213 really struggling with depression. 450 00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:54,523 Oh, wow. 451 00:17:54,542 --> 00:17:56,012 I would've never guessed. 452 00:17:56,878 --> 00:17:59,058 Yeah, you get good at hiding it. 453 00:18:00,288 --> 00:18:02,028 Are things better now? 454 00:18:02,050 --> 00:18:03,980 Most days. 455 00:18:04,125 --> 00:18:05,785 I mean, I found a great therapist, 456 00:18:05,814 --> 00:18:07,374 the right meds, and... 457 00:18:07,388 --> 00:18:10,648 I finally feel like I have control over my life. 458 00:18:11,486 --> 00:18:13,276 But now... 459 00:18:14,385 --> 00:18:15,775 Now what? 460 00:18:16,898 --> 00:18:19,998 I'm scared that if I let someone new in 461 00:18:20,141 --> 00:18:21,901 I could lose that. 462 00:18:22,059 --> 00:18:23,999 Randi... 463 00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:28,960 ... we can take things as slow as you want. 464 00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:31,670 I'm not going anywhere. 465 00:18:34,405 --> 00:18:35,925 Thanks. 466 00:18:40,515 --> 00:18:42,085 So, uh, 467 00:18:42,246 --> 00:18:44,496 have you told your therapist about me? 468 00:18:44,592 --> 00:18:46,692 Oh, my goodness. 469 00:18:49,858 --> 00:18:52,838 Well, well, well, 470 00:18:52,861 --> 00:18:54,931 if it isn't Mr. Basketball. 471 00:18:54,946 --> 00:18:56,866 Liking the nickname, 472 00:18:57,094 --> 00:18:58,374 worried about the tone. 473 00:18:58,596 --> 00:19:00,506 Are you mad? 474 00:19:00,619 --> 00:19:02,699 I was. This helped. 475 00:19:02,860 --> 00:19:03,870 Phil helped. 476 00:19:04,028 --> 00:19:05,448 We actually had a lovely night. 477 00:19:05,540 --> 00:19:07,370 We ate dinner, we sang songs, 478 00:19:07,375 --> 00:19:08,535 we crowed like roosters. 479 00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:11,293 If you're hungry, there's popovers in the trash. 480 00:19:12,464 --> 00:19:15,954 S-Starting to think tonight was a bigger deal than you let on. 481 00:19:15,967 --> 00:19:18,447 Well, first it wasn't. Then it was. 482 00:19:18,470 --> 00:19:21,950 Well, maybe it always was and I just said it wasn't. 483 00:19:21,973 --> 00:19:24,233 I don't know. Cock-a-doodle-doo. 484 00:19:25,393 --> 00:19:27,223 Anyway... 485 00:19:27,229 --> 00:19:30,729 this is the longest relationship I've ever had, 486 00:19:30,888 --> 00:19:32,548 and I planned this big, 487 00:19:32,567 --> 00:19:35,637 fancy romantic dinner to celebrate it. 488 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:36,800 But, instead, 489 00:19:36,801 --> 00:19:37,811 Phil tried on all my shoes 490 00:19:37,968 --> 00:19:39,968 and I ate three pieces of cake. 491 00:19:40,815 --> 00:19:43,135 Kat, you got to tell me when things are important. 492 00:19:43,234 --> 00:19:44,824 I was afraid of scaring you away. 493 00:19:44,913 --> 00:19:47,313 You know? I have a tendency to come on a little strong. 494 00:19:47,405 --> 00:19:49,235 Oh, you come on very strong. 495 00:19:49,334 --> 00:19:51,244 It's one of the things I like most about you. 496 00:19:51,253 --> 00:19:53,163 That and your laugh. 497 00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:55,837 And when you break into spontaneous tap dancing. 498 00:19:56,675 --> 00:19:58,175 Suck it, Ben. 499 00:19:58,916 --> 00:20:00,166 I'm sorry I wasn't here, 500 00:20:00,262 --> 00:20:02,672 and I promise not to miss our five-month anniversary. 501 00:20:03,431 --> 00:20:06,501 I'll save the lingerie I bought for then. 502 00:20:06,518 --> 00:20:08,088 Wait, there's lingerie? 503 00:20:08,186 --> 00:20:10,006 Real lingerie? Not just flannel? 504 00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:12,107 Yeah, it goes with the heels. 505 00:20:12,263 --> 00:20:15,173 I thought you said you couldn't walk in heels! 506 00:20:15,193 --> 00:20:17,703 Oh. I found a work-around. 507 00:20:20,438 --> 00:20:21,438 This is sexy, right? 508 00:20:25,172 --> 00:20:27,772 There you are! I have the whole day planned out. 509 00:20:27,945 --> 00:20:29,425 I'm gonna teach you how to fly this kite, 510 00:20:29,447 --> 00:20:31,357 we'll have a picnic, then we can ride our bikes 511 00:20:31,512 --> 00:20:32,522 to get snow cones. 512 00:20:32,679 --> 00:20:34,599 That sounds amazing! 513 00:20:34,702 --> 00:20:36,752 Rain check? 514 00:20:37,789 --> 00:20:39,779 Oh, my God. 515 00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:42,272 Guess who I just saw making out by the dumpsters. 516 00:20:42,293 --> 00:20:43,463 Uh, Lady and the Tramp. 517 00:20:43,617 --> 00:20:44,617 Two raccoons. 518 00:20:44,691 --> 00:20:45,701 George and Amal Clooney. 519 00:20:45,797 --> 00:20:47,627 They travel a lot. It's possible. 520 00:20:47,788 --> 00:20:50,198 I love that you always guess. 521 00:20:50,218 --> 00:20:51,538 Randi and Carter! 522 00:20:51,636 --> 00:20:53,196 - What?! - You're kidding! 523 00:20:53,221 --> 00:20:54,451 Those rascals! 524 00:20:54,545 --> 00:20:55,965 Why didn't anybody tell me? 525 00:20:56,130 --> 00:20:57,720 Because you can't keep a secret. 526 00:20:57,809 --> 00:20:59,059 Yes, I can. 527 00:21:00,634 --> 00:21:02,634 I got to call Sheila. 528 00:21:06,818 --> 00:21:08,298 ♪ Yo ♪ 529 00:21:08,319 --> 00:21:09,879 ♪ Let's go ♪ 530 00:21:09,977 --> 00:21:12,397 - ♪ Come on, listen up, baby ♪ - ♪ Ooh ♪ 531 00:21:12,553 --> 00:21:14,223 ♪ If you want to be free ♪ 532 00:21:14,242 --> 00:21:17,832 - ♪ If you want to be free ♪ - ♪ Got to let it go now ♪ 533 00:21:17,985 --> 00:21:19,825 ♪ Come on, let's take a ride with me ♪ 534 00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:21,817 - ♪ Take a ride with me ♪ - ♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪ 535 00:21:21,833 --> 00:21:24,233 ♪ I want to make you feel good ♪ 536 00:21:24,325 --> 00:21:25,895 ♪ Want you to lose your blues ♪ 537 00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:27,170 ♪ Want you to lose your blues... ♪ 35171

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