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1
00:00:07,442 --> 00:00:09,625
Hmm? Mm.
2
00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:11,762
- Don't pick it.
- D'oh!
3
00:00:24,975 --> 00:00:26,734
498...
4
00:00:26,885 --> 00:00:28,381
499...
5
00:00:28,405 --> 00:00:30,405
It's time.
6
00:00:34,969 --> 00:00:37,036
It's time.
7
00:00:41,401 --> 00:00:44,310
I'm sorry. We're going to have
to pull the plug.
8
00:00:44,478 --> 00:00:46,070
It's time.
9
00:00:46,238 --> 00:00:48,905
See ya later, vegitaters. Ha-ha!
10
00:00:54,673 --> 00:00:55,822
All ears on me!
11
00:00:57,158 --> 00:00:59,158
For 37 years,
we've played shuffleboard
12
00:00:59,252 --> 00:01:01,246
against our crosstown rivals.
13
00:01:01,271 --> 00:01:04,105
The Golden Exits
Retirement Farm.
14
00:01:06,183 --> 00:01:08,236
Those rich snobs think
they're better than us,
15
00:01:08,260 --> 00:01:10,757
with their yoga classes,
16
00:01:10,781 --> 00:01:12,834
and their aquacise,
17
00:01:12,858 --> 00:01:15,766
and their name-brand applesauce.
18
00:01:18,789 --> 00:01:20,674
But today we show them
19
00:01:20,698 --> 00:01:22,349
what we can do!
20
00:01:22,442 --> 00:01:25,033
Cloudy eyes! Functioning hearts!
21
00:01:25,129 --> 00:01:27,337
Can't lose!
22
00:01:32,117 --> 00:01:34,385
Aw, they want something.
23
00:01:53,215 --> 00:01:55,899
No fair.
The other team's got a ringer.
24
00:02:20,332 --> 00:02:21,332
Mm.
25
00:02:31,677 --> 00:02:32,747
We win!
26
00:02:32,771 --> 00:02:35,280
Yet somehow I feel guilty.
27
00:02:40,019 --> 00:02:42,848
That woman won't stop
staring at me.
28
00:02:42,872 --> 00:02:44,683
I'm not surprised, Marge.
29
00:02:44,707 --> 00:02:47,616
You are a senior home ten.
30
00:02:48,694 --> 00:02:51,045
Do I... know you?
31
00:02:51,272 --> 00:02:52,454
Margie the Meanie?
32
00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:54,549
You've caused me enough trouble!
33
00:02:54,700 --> 00:02:56,292
No! Oh...
34
00:02:56,368 --> 00:02:58,762
Mom, what don't we know
about you?
35
00:02:59,889 --> 00:03:01,533
Marge Bouvier,
36
00:03:01,557 --> 00:03:03,599
you ruined my life!
37
00:03:04,502 --> 00:03:07,804
I never want to see you again!
38
00:03:12,217 --> 00:03:14,546
That is my old principal.
39
00:03:14,570 --> 00:03:17,722
Mom, she's treating you like
you were a bad kid in school.
40
00:03:17,816 --> 00:03:20,483
But that's impossible.
41
00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:22,634
Unless...
42
00:03:22,728 --> 00:03:25,372
Well, I... not really.
43
00:03:26,974 --> 00:03:28,991
You were a bad kid in school!
44
00:03:29,086 --> 00:03:31,586
High five. And now you're
trying to lie about it!
45
00:03:31,737 --> 00:03:33,496
We're the same!
46
00:03:33,647 --> 00:03:35,235
We're the same! We're the same!
We're the same!
47
00:03:35,259 --> 00:03:37,736
Oh, I finally have
a parent I am proud of.
48
00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:39,312
Aw.
49
00:03:39,336 --> 00:03:41,245
Marge.
50
00:03:41,298 --> 00:03:43,932
You must've run
into Principal York.
51
00:03:44,158 --> 00:03:46,913
You made her life a living hell.
52
00:03:46,937 --> 00:03:49,344
It started in middle school.
53
00:03:49,472 --> 00:03:50,680
Middle school.
54
00:03:50,831 --> 00:03:53,758
That's when we were
sopranos in the choir.
55
00:03:57,798 --> 00:04:00,323
Ah! Still got it.
56
00:04:01,784 --> 00:04:04,618
In seventh grade,
I had to switch schools.
57
00:04:13,780 --> 00:04:16,130
We wear top and bottom eyeliner.
58
00:04:16,281 --> 00:04:17,947
Check out this tattoo.
59
00:04:18,043 --> 00:04:19,283
Is that press-on?
60
00:04:19,377 --> 00:04:20,785
Henna.
61
00:04:23,139 --> 00:04:25,697
They were so nasty to me.
62
00:04:25,867 --> 00:04:27,625
Ah!
63
00:04:30,038 --> 00:04:31,182
And then one day,
64
00:04:31,206 --> 00:04:33,033
against a checked-out principal,
65
00:04:33,057 --> 00:04:34,316
you won them over.
66
00:04:34,483 --> 00:04:36,558
The mean girls are
picking on me again.
67
00:04:36,711 --> 00:04:38,523
Well, what do you
expect me to do,
68
00:04:38,547 --> 00:04:41,134
start some kind
of anti-bullying policy?
69
00:04:41,158 --> 00:04:43,533
Also no standing during lunch.
70
00:04:48,665 --> 00:04:51,886
I'll do a lot better
with the next person I hire.
71
00:04:51,909 --> 00:04:54,336
He'll be a win-ner!
72
00:04:55,838 --> 00:04:57,391
The new girl did that.
73
00:04:57,415 --> 00:04:58,988
It was cool.
74
00:04:59,125 --> 00:05:01,041
Cool girl! Cool girl!
75
00:05:01,269 --> 00:05:02,918
I am a cool girl.
76
00:05:03,071 --> 00:05:04,829
Don't check with my old school.
77
00:05:04,923 --> 00:05:06,588
You pranked the principal?
78
00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:09,184
I embarrassed her,
but I shouldn't have.
79
00:05:09,411 --> 00:05:12,228
But that didn't stop you
from doing it again.
80
00:05:15,416 --> 00:05:18,600
Oh, my God!
We saw the principal's bra.
81
00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:20,269
We've entered...
82
00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:21,588
puberty!
83
00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:22,917
And again.
84
00:05:22,940 --> 00:05:25,699
It's not even grammatical.
85
00:05:29,096 --> 00:05:31,016
Oh, my God, Mom,
you're not perfect.
86
00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:32,856
You're so not perfect.
87
00:05:32,951 --> 00:05:34,358
Bart, I'm not...
88
00:05:34,451 --> 00:05:37,189
This is the first hug where
you've ever hugged me back.
89
00:05:37,213 --> 00:05:39,933
Hug you back?
I started the damn hug.
90
00:05:39,957 --> 00:05:42,800
Language, but aw...
91
00:05:49,134 --> 00:05:50,685
Two customers
in the shop at once.
92
00:05:50,709 --> 00:05:52,560
Call the fire marshal.
93
00:05:52,728 --> 00:05:54,302
I want to buy a Batman.
94
00:05:54,471 --> 00:05:56,471
Um, not so fast. Which era?
95
00:05:56,625 --> 00:05:58,733
Which artist?
Dark Knight or Adam West?
96
00:05:58,884 --> 00:06:02,382
Sometimes I regret
not finishing medical school.
97
00:06:02,406 --> 00:06:05,148
I was one credit away. One.
98
00:06:05,315 --> 00:06:08,057
I want the one
where Batman eats lasagna.
99
00:06:08,226 --> 00:06:10,653
That is Garfield,
who is not a bat, but a cat.
100
00:06:10,805 --> 00:06:14,156
How can someone with such
a big head be so stupid?
101
00:06:14,309 --> 00:06:17,303
That is so cruel,
picking on that poor Wiggum boy.
102
00:06:17,327 --> 00:06:19,661
Someone should teach him
a lesson.
103
00:06:19,755 --> 00:06:21,401
Someone who's not afraid
104
00:06:21,425 --> 00:06:23,591
to be a hero to her son.
105
00:06:23,759 --> 00:06:25,980
Do it, Marge. Prank that guy.
106
00:06:26,004 --> 00:06:27,336
Superman?
107
00:06:27,430 --> 00:06:30,985
Uh, for legal reasons,
you can call me Uber Hombre.
108
00:06:31,009 --> 00:06:33,100
Once again
the lack of clear copyright
109
00:06:33,293 --> 00:06:35,177
in my country has screwed me.
110
00:06:35,346 --> 00:06:37,012
My copyright expired.
111
00:06:37,165 --> 00:06:39,143
Would you like to be
the Scarlet Pimpernel?
112
00:06:39,167 --> 00:06:40,752
No, thank you.
113
00:06:40,776 --> 00:06:42,593
Maybe something should be done.
114
00:06:42,687 --> 00:06:44,278
Aw.
115
00:06:44,505 --> 00:06:47,173
Why, look,
if it isn't Lex Loser.
116
00:06:47,266 --> 00:06:49,951
Ha.
Stop working the package to see
117
00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:52,079
what the middle comic is
in the three-pack.
118
00:06:52,103 --> 00:06:53,603
Take your chances like a man.
119
00:06:53,740 --> 00:06:56,290
But I want to see
if the middle one is valuable.
120
00:06:56,518 --> 00:06:58,533
The middle comic is
never valuable.
121
00:06:58,687 --> 00:07:01,182
It's there to take up space
like lettuce on a hamburger,
122
00:07:01,206 --> 00:07:03,276
a seat filler at the Emmys,
123
00:07:03,300 --> 00:07:04,447
or you.
124
00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:12,307
Uh, excuse me, Mr. Guy?
125
00:07:12,475 --> 00:07:14,475
I have more money
than you've ever seen
126
00:07:14,552 --> 00:07:16,185
in this store.
127
00:07:17,463 --> 00:07:19,814
Yes, sir,
and may I offer you a snack?
128
00:07:19,966 --> 00:07:21,223
You serve snacks?
129
00:07:21,317 --> 00:07:23,129
For valued customers, yes.
130
00:07:23,153 --> 00:07:25,060
Have a mint, or if you prefer,
131
00:07:25,230 --> 00:07:27,632
a near mint.
Could I interest you
132
00:07:27,656 --> 00:07:30,158
in this very emotional
Spider-Man, in which
133
00:07:30,384 --> 00:07:33,569
Peter Parker confronts and
forgives the spider who bit him?
134
00:07:34,848 --> 00:07:36,550
A comic book's arch enemy!
135
00:07:36,574 --> 00:07:37,981
Cola! No!
136
00:07:38,076 --> 00:07:39,644
Oh, God! Oh!
137
00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:42,223
Oh, God! Ah!
138
00:07:42,247 --> 00:07:44,579
To quote the immortal Shaggy:
139
00:07:44,733 --> 00:07:46,507
"Zoinks!"
140
00:08:07,512 --> 00:08:08,862
What's so funny?
141
00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:10,589
Mom and I...
142
00:08:12,276 --> 00:08:13,684
did a prank together.
143
00:08:13,778 --> 00:08:15,036
Shh! Sweetie.
144
00:08:15,262 --> 00:08:16,406
Whoa, wait a minute.
145
00:08:16,430 --> 00:08:18,206
So Bart gets his wild side
146
00:08:18,356 --> 00:08:20,707
from his mother?
That makes no sense.
147
00:08:20,877 --> 00:08:22,543
Boys get stuff from their dads,
148
00:08:22,771 --> 00:08:25,288
like their favorite
baseball team, mental disorders,
149
00:08:25,439 --> 00:08:28,048
and the lame joke
they tell every waiter.
150
00:08:28,125 --> 00:08:29,792
Say, Maggie?
151
00:08:29,944 --> 00:08:31,961
Why don't you get this one?
152
00:08:32,113 --> 00:08:33,629
Ha-ha-ha.
153
00:08:33,782 --> 00:08:36,465
Imagine, a baby paying a check.
154
00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:38,946
Well, maybe Bart's
pranking allele
155
00:08:38,970 --> 00:08:41,062
is on the maternal chromosome.
156
00:08:41,212 --> 00:08:43,623
The only part
of that I understood
157
00:08:43,716 --> 00:08:45,043
was "allele."
158
00:08:45,067 --> 00:08:46,546
I'm talking Mendelian genetics.
159
00:08:46,570 --> 00:08:49,548
Young lady, we do not discuss
that at the dinner table.
160
00:08:49,572 --> 00:08:51,405
Now pass the peas.
161
00:08:53,058 --> 00:08:55,558
Hmm. How come
one quarter are yellow?
162
00:08:57,062 --> 00:08:58,653
So Bart's not like me,
163
00:08:58,807 --> 00:09:00,230
Lisa's not like me.
164
00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:02,991
There will be no evidence
I was ever on this earth.
165
00:09:03,144 --> 00:09:05,336
Wait, wait. Maybe Maggie.
166
00:09:12,486 --> 00:09:14,669
How many times
I got to tell you, Homer?
167
00:09:14,764 --> 00:09:16,822
No outside peas.
168
00:09:17,933 --> 00:09:21,494
It's just that I realized the
kids totally take after Marge.
169
00:09:21,586 --> 00:09:23,678
- Nothing from me.
- Come on, Homer.
170
00:09:23,773 --> 00:09:26,274
There's got to be something
you passed on to your kids.
171
00:09:26,424 --> 00:09:28,610
That adorable way you pout?
172
00:09:30,096 --> 00:09:31,239
Uh, the way you can burp-sing
173
00:09:31,263 --> 00:09:32,355
the national anthem?
174
00:09:32,506 --> 00:09:34,448
Great chiming in today, guys.
175
00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:37,201
- Oh, thanks for noticing.
- Appreciate it.
176
00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:40,955
There is something
we have in common, Dad.
177
00:09:41,106 --> 00:09:42,842
That we're both made
out of beer?
178
00:09:42,866 --> 00:09:45,511
No, something deeper. Profound.
179
00:09:45,536 --> 00:09:47,019
Dark beer?
180
00:09:47,113 --> 00:09:49,015
You'll have
to figure it out yourself.
181
00:09:49,039 --> 00:09:51,466
Oh, I hate
when foam makes me think.
182
00:09:52,469 --> 00:09:55,528
Hey, you guys have forgotten
one thing.
183
00:09:55,620 --> 00:09:57,138
Lisa Simpson.
184
00:09:57,307 --> 00:09:59,844
She is 100% scientific proof
185
00:09:59,868 --> 00:10:01,142
that I exist.
186
00:10:01,369 --> 00:10:03,961
To Lisa "What's
Her Middle Name" Simpson.
187
00:10:04,054 --> 00:10:07,033
Daddy's little girl.
188
00:10:07,057 --> 00:10:09,202
No clinking? What's wrong?
189
00:10:09,226 --> 00:10:10,796
Yeah, well, truth be told,
190
00:10:10,820 --> 00:10:14,138
uh, none of us was positive
Lisa was really your kid.
191
00:10:14,231 --> 00:10:16,065
She's smart as a whip.
192
00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:18,044
- Wha...?
- She can control her temper.
193
00:10:18,068 --> 00:10:19,639
Why, you...!
194
00:10:19,663 --> 00:10:21,162
You look exactly like her
195
00:10:21,312 --> 00:10:24,476
if she was a big, fat,
bald guy, which she's not.
196
00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:25,811
In the least.
197
00:10:25,835 --> 00:10:27,335
For your information,
198
00:10:27,485 --> 00:10:29,148
I'm gonna find a wonderful bond
199
00:10:29,172 --> 00:10:31,317
between myself
and my little girl.
200
00:10:31,341 --> 00:10:35,342
And you childless loners
are gonna be so jealous.
201
00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:38,921
You losers will never have this!
202
00:10:39,014 --> 00:10:40,014
Losers!
203
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:41,923
Oh, right, Maggie's in the car.
204
00:10:42,018 --> 00:10:44,226
Shut the damn door!
205
00:10:47,005 --> 00:10:49,005
Marge, I see you're buying
206
00:10:49,100 --> 00:10:51,100
Slaughterhouse Sweepins
brand hot dogs.
207
00:10:51,177 --> 00:10:52,745
It must be so easy to shop
208
00:10:52,769 --> 00:10:56,013
when anything's good enough
for your family.
209
00:10:56,106 --> 00:10:57,584
Eh? Eh?
210
00:10:57,607 --> 00:10:59,345
No. No more pranking.
211
00:10:59,369 --> 00:11:02,686
Now we've got to buy food
before the prices go up.
212
00:11:05,191 --> 00:11:07,950
Timothy and I prefer
Opera House Franks.
213
00:11:08,101 --> 00:11:09,913
Maybe you've seen
their commercials?
214
00:11:09,937 --> 00:11:11,505
Oh, wait,
they're only advertised
215
00:11:11,529 --> 00:11:14,440
on premium cable channels.
216
00:11:29,474 --> 00:11:31,376
I need a price check on a pack
217
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:33,642
of Gassy Granny Underwear.
218
00:11:33,736 --> 00:11:35,126
That's not mine.
219
00:11:35,221 --> 00:11:37,071
How did it get in my cart?
220
00:11:37,907 --> 00:11:39,481
I also need a price check
221
00:11:39,576 --> 00:11:42,650
on a gallon of Sober by Six
Day Drinker's Gin,
222
00:11:42,820 --> 00:11:45,394
Lady Stinkfoot Insoles,
223
00:11:45,490 --> 00:11:48,118
The Marvelous Mrs. Miser's
Week-Old Bread,
224
00:11:48,142 --> 00:11:50,399
Barely Helpful Herpes Ointment,
225
00:11:50,495 --> 00:11:53,754
FEMA Brand Emergency
Toilet Paper...
226
00:11:53,905 --> 00:11:57,073
and Garbage Mouth Bad Breath
Neutralizing Suppositories.
227
00:12:06,995 --> 00:12:10,162
Vegetarians like food?
228
00:12:10,331 --> 00:12:12,847
Is that pulled pork
dripping with cheese?
229
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,518
Uh, yes,
except instead of cheese,
230
00:12:15,669 --> 00:12:18,354
I'm using cashew paste
with nutritional yeast
231
00:12:18,505 --> 00:12:20,947
and for pork,
I'm substituting jackfruit.
232
00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:22,616
No pork?
233
00:12:22,844 --> 00:12:25,096
Jackfruit is vegan, abundant,
234
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,081
and no plucking,
so it's cruelty-free.
235
00:12:27,105 --> 00:12:28,581
Try some.
236
00:12:30,201 --> 00:12:32,033
Hmm, not bad, not bad.
237
00:12:32,128 --> 00:12:34,774
This is it... food is our thing.
238
00:12:34,798 --> 00:12:36,279
Well, if you like jackfruit,
239
00:12:36,374 --> 00:12:38,799
I know a place you will love.
240
00:12:38,951 --> 00:12:40,467
Mmm.
241
00:12:40,695 --> 00:12:42,596
It's probably
not what you're thinking.
242
00:12:42,620 --> 00:12:43,721
D'oh!
243
00:12:45,048 --> 00:12:47,549
Please give me the best
kombucha you have on tap,
244
00:12:47,701 --> 00:12:50,812
and a bottle
of your finest liquid aminos.
245
00:12:50,962 --> 00:12:53,605
You got it. Namaste.
246
00:12:56,711 --> 00:12:59,469
Mmm. Jicama sticks.
247
00:13:01,139 --> 00:13:03,215
Dad, do you like this food?
248
00:13:03,308 --> 00:13:05,826
Oh, sweetie, I love this meal.
249
00:13:05,977 --> 00:13:08,139
I hated that meal.
250
00:13:08,163 --> 00:13:10,813
Oh, thank God I keep
an emergency sausage
251
00:13:10,908 --> 00:13:12,500
beside the bed.
252
00:13:12,668 --> 00:13:14,225
Ew, what is this?
253
00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:15,910
It's a ground-up kickball.
254
00:13:15,988 --> 00:13:18,080
I pranked you.
255
00:13:20,176 --> 00:13:22,509
Why, you little...!
256
00:13:22,736 --> 00:13:23,736
Ow!
257
00:13:25,072 --> 00:13:26,491
Ow! Ow! Ooh! See, Marge?
258
00:13:26,515 --> 00:13:28,719
That's why we shouldn't have
books in the house.
259
00:13:28,743 --> 00:13:31,519
Do you think
I like doing this pranking?
260
00:13:31,745 --> 00:13:34,096
When I'm done laughing,
I hate myself.
261
00:13:34,190 --> 00:13:36,005
I'm behaving like a little brat
262
00:13:36,100 --> 00:13:38,024
and it's made me
a better mother.
263
00:13:38,251 --> 00:13:40,436
But pranking isn't like you,
it's like me.
264
00:13:40,529 --> 00:13:42,566
We can't have two of me
in this marriage.
265
00:13:42,590 --> 00:13:44,606
One of me is enough
for three of us.
266
00:13:44,759 --> 00:13:47,534
But I can't stop, 'cause
I've never been closer to Bart.
267
00:13:47,761 --> 00:13:51,447
I've waited for a connection
like this for so long.
268
00:13:51,599 --> 00:13:53,852
Longer than
the new Avatar movie.
269
00:13:53,876 --> 00:13:55,267
It's coming, Marge.
270
00:13:55,436 --> 00:13:56,855
You've got to have faith.
271
00:13:56,879 --> 00:13:59,024
You sound like James Cameron,
Homer.
272
00:13:59,048 --> 00:14:01,789
What if we never see
Pandora again?
273
00:14:01,942 --> 00:14:04,770
The real unobtanium
is the sequel.
274
00:14:04,794 --> 00:14:07,763
Have faith, have faith.
275
00:14:08,966 --> 00:14:10,966
Oh, sorry.
No one's allowed in the store
276
00:14:11,059 --> 00:14:13,038
while Mr. Burns shops
for the right chewing gum.
277
00:14:13,062 --> 00:14:14,729
Are you for real?
278
00:14:14,956 --> 00:14:16,804
I am. He doesn't want to, quote,
279
00:14:16,974 --> 00:14:18,284
"Catch your poverty."
280
00:14:18,308 --> 00:14:19,475
Double mint?
281
00:14:19,568 --> 00:14:21,610
A little too strong
for my liking.
282
00:14:22,647 --> 00:14:23,979
My baby has a rash!
283
00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:26,148
And it makes her
a wiggle monster.
284
00:14:26,241 --> 00:14:30,119
Babies. When will you learn
that old people are our future?
285
00:14:31,397 --> 00:14:32,913
Please!
286
00:14:33,140 --> 00:14:34,801
Sorry,
I have a medical condition
287
00:14:34,825 --> 00:14:36,399
where I don't give a damn.
288
00:14:43,668 --> 00:14:45,834
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
289
00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:47,669
He'll just fall
290
00:14:47,764 --> 00:14:49,931
into that soft grass over there.
291
00:14:55,513 --> 00:14:58,422
Ah! Ow! Oh!
292
00:15:05,615 --> 00:15:08,356
Oh, my God, Bart.
We went too far.
293
00:15:08,451 --> 00:15:11,025
You mean you went too far.
294
00:15:11,102 --> 00:15:12,244
We've never been closer!
295
00:15:16,774 --> 00:15:19,033
Marge, you're incredibly lucky
Mr. Burns is okay.
296
00:15:19,128 --> 00:15:20,961
It taught me a lesson, Smithers.
297
00:15:21,113 --> 00:15:23,153
- Life could end at any moment.
- Mm-hmm.
298
00:15:23,206 --> 00:15:25,039
So we have to jam as much evil
299
00:15:25,208 --> 00:15:27,710
as possible
into each remaining day.
300
00:15:38,831 --> 00:15:40,889
What are you looking at?
301
00:15:41,042 --> 00:15:42,482
Marge, I don't understand.
302
00:15:42,710 --> 00:15:44,797
What made you attack
that hateful,
303
00:15:44,821 --> 00:15:46,988
nasty, hateful old man?
304
00:15:47,139 --> 00:15:49,155
Um, I was taught that a lady
305
00:15:49,383 --> 00:15:52,211
should never express
or experience emotions.
306
00:15:52,235 --> 00:15:54,828
And I don't,
except every couple of decades
307
00:15:54,904 --> 00:15:57,831
I snap.
Otherwise I'm just simmering,
308
00:15:57,982 --> 00:15:59,812
simmering, simmering, simmering,
309
00:15:59,836 --> 00:16:02,313
- simmering, simmering...
- You must have been
such a good little girl.
310
00:16:02,337 --> 00:16:04,817
I don't want to talk
anymore today.
311
00:16:04,841 --> 00:16:08,320
Well, it's up to you. We can
do this over 20 costly years,
312
00:16:08,344 --> 00:16:10,154
or you can have
your breakthrough now.
313
00:16:10,178 --> 00:16:12,738
Oh, people can have
instant breakthroughs?
314
00:16:12,831 --> 00:16:14,682
Not people with good insurance,
315
00:16:14,832 --> 00:16:16,424
but yours is lousy.
316
00:16:18,003 --> 00:16:20,095
Oh, my God!
317
00:16:20,248 --> 00:16:22,743
It's okay. It's okay.
318
00:16:22,767 --> 00:16:24,859
Therapists almost
never give useful advice,
319
00:16:25,009 --> 00:16:27,193
just find your old principal,
320
00:16:27,346 --> 00:16:29,341
make your peace,
and you'll feel better.
321
00:16:29,365 --> 00:16:30,750
Are you sure?
322
00:16:30,774 --> 00:16:34,368
As sure as I am I really
don't want to see you again.
323
00:16:36,264 --> 00:16:38,706
Bart, I-I'm sorry.
324
00:16:38,856 --> 00:16:40,540
Pranking is selfish and unkind.
325
00:16:40,768 --> 00:16:43,619
Even if it's hilarious.
I'm done.
326
00:16:43,770 --> 00:16:44,952
Mom, no!
327
00:16:45,048 --> 00:16:46,859
I don't know
who I am without pranking.
328
00:16:46,883 --> 00:16:48,434
It's in our blood.
329
00:16:48,459 --> 00:16:51,384
Like when you had me,
that was a total prank on Dad.
330
00:16:51,537 --> 00:16:55,371
If you give it up,
you're giving me up!
331
00:17:01,455 --> 00:17:03,212
Okay, fine.
332
00:17:03,307 --> 00:17:06,141
I think I have
one more prank left in me.
333
00:17:06,294 --> 00:17:09,403
And it's gonna be a real doozy.
334
00:17:09,555 --> 00:17:13,051
I love the way you say cool
things in lame ways.
335
00:17:13,076 --> 00:17:14,325
Mm.
336
00:17:16,060 --> 00:17:18,394
This is great. So great.
337
00:17:18,489 --> 00:17:20,896
I would kill the Easter Bunny
for one meatball.
338
00:17:20,990 --> 00:17:23,491
- Now, we shred in some kale.
- Oh, no.
339
00:17:23,644 --> 00:17:26,472
-And Brussels sprouts, tofu,
-You're killing me.
340
00:17:26,497 --> 00:17:28,980
-bell peppers, mushrooms,
-I'm gagging! Oh!
341
00:17:29,150 --> 00:17:31,258
- Broccolini, artichokes.
- Don't say... oh!
342
00:17:31,410 --> 00:17:33,289
- Want some blueberries?
- Ew! Yuck!
343
00:17:33,378 --> 00:17:34,670
Ooh, sunflower seeds.
344
00:17:34,763 --> 00:17:36,482
You know, if a bag of
pig knuckles fell in there,
345
00:17:36,507 --> 00:17:38,426
it wouldn't be
the end of the world.
346
00:17:38,491 --> 00:17:40,750
Dad, I love you,
but I don't want to do this
347
00:17:40,845 --> 00:17:42,510
if you're gonna... Homer it up.
348
00:17:42,605 --> 00:17:45,084
My name is a verb,
meaning "to ruin"?
349
00:17:45,107 --> 00:17:47,144
- That is pretty Homer-ed up.
- I'm sorry.
350
00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:49,109
Just try a sip.
351
00:17:49,260 --> 00:17:50,594
What do you think?
352
00:17:50,688 --> 00:17:51,945
Soggy and underseasoned.
353
00:17:52,096 --> 00:17:54,759
I'm sorry. I hate this.
354
00:17:54,784 --> 00:17:58,430
I have no similarities
with any of my offspring.
355
00:17:58,453 --> 00:18:00,507
My tongue is swelling, too!
356
00:18:00,530 --> 00:18:03,935
Hey! Look at us! Our throats
are closing as one.
357
00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:06,852
Aw. Want to share an ambulance?
358
00:18:06,944 --> 00:18:08,944
Yes.
359
00:18:09,038 --> 00:18:10,517
It turns out you two have
360
00:18:10,540 --> 00:18:12,781
many common allergies, including
361
00:18:12,876 --> 00:18:14,859
allspice, dust, feathers, fur,
362
00:18:14,952 --> 00:18:17,097
the stuff in peanut butter
that isn't peanuts,
363
00:18:17,122 --> 00:18:20,118
also peanuts, animal dander,
Irish Spring...
364
00:18:20,143 --> 00:18:21,549
The season and the soap...
365
00:18:21,644 --> 00:18:24,869
And the smell of honeysuckle
on a dark Georgia night.
366
00:18:24,962 --> 00:18:27,200
What's wrong, Dad?
367
00:18:27,223 --> 00:18:29,057
You're such a great kid.
368
00:18:29,152 --> 00:18:31,963
Sorry I passed down
all those bad parts.
369
00:18:31,988 --> 00:18:35,047
Dad, you passed down the most
important part of yourself.
370
00:18:35,140 --> 00:18:36,634
Your kind heart.
371
00:18:36,659 --> 00:18:40,309
I'm afraid
I'm allergic to treacle.
372
00:18:43,907 --> 00:18:46,552
I'm here to apologize.
373
00:18:46,576 --> 00:18:49,670
Let me guess,
there's bees inside.
374
00:18:49,838 --> 00:18:52,839
Please, I just want you
to know I'm a good person.
375
00:18:53,009 --> 00:18:54,508
I really am.
376
00:18:54,660 --> 00:18:57,344
Just sniff the flowers,
you'll see.
377
00:18:59,830 --> 00:19:01,498
Oh! Meanie!
378
00:19:03,243 --> 00:19:04,926
We got you!
379
00:19:05,078 --> 00:19:08,171
I've always hated children.
380
00:19:08,249 --> 00:19:10,773
¡Ay, caramba!
381
00:19:16,105 --> 00:19:17,509
You're going to juvie
382
00:19:17,532 --> 00:19:19,178
and you're going
to women's prison.
383
00:19:19,201 --> 00:19:21,070
And the victim is gonna
be buried
384
00:19:21,095 --> 00:19:23,182
with deceased members
of the Blue Man Group,
385
00:19:23,205 --> 00:19:25,948
which there are
way more than you'd think.
386
00:19:26,041 --> 00:19:29,042
All died in hilarious ways.
387
00:19:30,194 --> 00:19:32,140
Oh, my God, oh, my God!
Please be alive.
388
00:19:32,163 --> 00:19:34,623
I'll never prank again. Never!
389
00:19:34,775 --> 00:19:36,700
We got ya!
390
00:19:39,555 --> 00:19:42,538
Uh-oh, Lou. We have got
a zombie situation here.
391
00:19:42,633 --> 00:19:45,226
Aim for the brain.
It's the only way.
392
00:19:45,376 --> 00:19:47,188
Just teaching
a lesson to my son.
393
00:19:47,211 --> 00:19:49,211
She was never dead.
394
00:19:49,306 --> 00:19:50,616
She's a zombie lover, Lou!
395
00:19:50,641 --> 00:19:53,067
Aim for both their heads.
It's the only way.
396
00:19:53,218 --> 00:19:54,643
They're not zombies, Chief.
397
00:19:54,795 --> 00:19:56,795
And neither were the Wilsons.
398
00:19:56,887 --> 00:19:58,980
Uh, don't mention the Wilsons.
399
00:19:59,133 --> 00:20:00,885
So, Mom, you taught me
the dangers of pranking
400
00:20:00,910 --> 00:20:02,651
while pulling an awesome prank.
401
00:20:02,803 --> 00:20:03,818
Lesson learned.
402
00:20:03,971 --> 00:20:05,090
Have some peanut brittle.
403
00:20:05,248 --> 00:20:07,154
Mm-hmm, no snakes?
404
00:20:07,307 --> 00:20:09,803
I took out the snakes and
actually put in peanut brittle.
405
00:20:09,826 --> 00:20:12,169
That's how much I respect you.
406
00:20:14,481 --> 00:20:15,571
Hmm.
407
00:20:15,665 --> 00:20:19,070
Well, you know I love you
and I always will.
408
00:20:19,095 --> 00:20:21,153
But enough with the pranking.
409
00:20:21,246 --> 00:20:23,346
Enough with the pranking.
410
00:20:48,348 --> 00:20:49,675
"Dear Agnes, I'm so sorry
411
00:20:49,700 --> 00:20:51,085
"I put laxatives
in your dog's food.
412
00:20:51,108 --> 00:20:52,776
"Then secretly filmed it.
413
00:20:52,943 --> 00:20:56,275
"Then sent it to America'sWorst Carpet Disasters.
414
00:20:56,298 --> 00:20:59,967
"Then I won. And used the prize
money to buy more laxatives.
415
00:21:00,117 --> 00:21:02,711
Sincerely, Marge."
416
00:21:02,805 --> 00:21:05,972
Another one done.
417
00:21:06,124 --> 00:21:08,625
Well, that's the A's.
418
00:21:08,719 --> 00:21:10,477
"Dear Bernice..."
419
00:21:10,645 --> 00:21:12,980
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
420
00:21:16,210 --> 00:21:19,372
And FORD.
We go further, so you can.
421
00:21:19,395 --> 00:21:22,740
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
422
00:21:31,650 --> 00:21:33,291
Shh!
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