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1
00:00:46,085 --> 00:00:47,362
[sighs]
2
00:00:47,466 --> 00:00:50,089
[both breathing heavily]
3
00:00:50,814 --> 00:00:52,367
You were incredible.
4
00:00:53,023 --> 00:00:55,232
My heart is still racing.
5
00:00:56,682 --> 00:00:58,442
I felt it too.
6
00:00:58,546 --> 00:01:00,479
All thanks
to your brute strength, Dash,
7
00:01:00,582 --> 00:01:03,723
and your knowledge
of ancient Aramaic mathematics.
8
00:01:03,827 --> 00:01:06,726
Please. This has nothing to do
with my two doctorates
9
00:01:06,830 --> 00:01:08,901
and my master's
in Gender Studies
10
00:01:09,798 --> 00:01:12,767
and everything to do
with you, Dr. Lovemore.
11
00:01:13,216 --> 00:01:15,114
The truth is,
12
00:01:15,218 --> 00:01:17,599
I never thought I would find
the Lost City of D.
13
00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:20,637
I would
choose your words carefully.[hissing]
14
00:01:20,740 --> 00:01:22,501
They will be your last.
15
00:01:22,604 --> 00:01:26,367
You led me right
to King Kalaman's tomb
16
00:01:26,470 --> 00:01:30,060
and his queen's
legendary Crown of Fire.
17
00:01:30,164 --> 00:01:33,063
And now I will be very rich,
18
00:01:33,167 --> 00:01:35,859
and you will be very dead.
19
00:01:36,791 --> 00:01:40,174
Hold up. Are these--
Are these your snakes?
20
00:01:40,277 --> 00:01:41,899
No, they were just here.
21
00:01:42,003 --> 00:01:44,454
There were just
hundreds of snakes
in this temple
22
00:01:44,557 --> 00:01:46,421
just waiting for us
to show up?
23
00:01:46,525 --> 00:01:48,630
Who feeds them? You feed them?No, what do they eat?
24
00:01:48,734 --> 00:01:50,943
Why is that one
not biting that guy?
Why is that happening?
25
00:01:51,046 --> 00:01:53,911
-Are they trained not
to bite henchmen or something?
-[captor] Yeah, well...
26
00:01:54,015 --> 00:01:56,293
[Dr. Lovemore]
I mean, the snake-to-temple
ratio alone...
27
00:01:56,397 --> 00:01:58,847
This is ridiculous.
Delete.
28
00:02:00,125 --> 00:02:02,023
I-- I think my character
can still work.
29
00:02:02,127 --> 00:02:03,852
Delete.
30
00:02:03,956 --> 00:02:06,131
Loretta, you still have
a story to write.
31
00:02:06,821 --> 00:02:08,133
Delete.
32
00:02:10,514 --> 00:02:12,378
[voice mail]
Hey, it's me, Beth.
33
00:02:12,482 --> 00:02:14,898
I don't want to pull the whole
"I'm your publisher" card,
but I am.
34
00:02:15,001 --> 00:02:17,349
And I'm really looking forward
to seeing this last chapter.
35
00:02:17,452 --> 00:02:19,489
But no pressure.
No, there actually is pressure.
36
00:02:19,592 --> 00:02:23,769
The exact amount of pressure
that motivates you
but doesn't paralyze you.
37
00:02:23,872 --> 00:02:25,253
You got this.
38
00:02:26,806 --> 00:02:27,773
Thank you.
39
00:02:27,876 --> 00:02:29,913
[voice mail tone][Beth] Me again.
40
00:02:30,016 --> 00:02:31,880
Okay, so everything
is set for the book tour,
41
00:02:31,984 --> 00:02:34,814
but, uh, the only thing we need
is a book to tour with.
42
00:02:34,918 --> 00:02:37,058
I can't help
but get the feeling that
you're not finishing
43
00:02:37,162 --> 00:02:39,612
because you don't want
to leave your house.
44
00:02:39,716 --> 00:02:44,893
Listen, I know these last
five years have been hard
after John's passing,
45
00:02:44,997 --> 00:02:48,380
and it feels easier
to live in your bathtub,
46
00:02:48,483 --> 00:02:51,141
drinking Chardonnay on ice.
47
00:02:51,245 --> 00:02:54,040
But, girl,
there is a great big world
waiting for you
48
00:02:54,144 --> 00:02:57,147
and a book tour
that I can't cancel, so just
make it happen, all right?
49
00:02:57,251 --> 00:02:58,493
Love you, bye!
50
00:03:17,512 --> 00:03:19,031
[Dash] We have to keep going.
51
00:03:20,066 --> 00:03:22,552
Let's see
what's on the other side
of that door.
52
00:03:22,655 --> 00:03:24,761
But what if
there isn't anything?
53
00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:27,591
There's only one way
to find out.
54
00:03:28,489 --> 00:03:30,422
Then Lovemore realized
55
00:03:30,525 --> 00:03:32,803
the treasure she wanted
was lost forever
56
00:03:32,907 --> 00:03:35,289
and her adventures
were coming to an end.
57
00:03:35,392 --> 00:03:36,531
That doesn't feel right.
58
00:03:36,635 --> 00:03:38,430
Yeah, but that's it.
59
00:03:38,533 --> 00:03:39,983
That's the end.
60
00:03:49,026 --> 00:03:50,580
Well, John,
61
00:03:51,166 --> 00:03:52,271
here I go.
62
00:03:52,375 --> 00:03:54,653
Dulcius ex asperis.
63
00:04:01,176 --> 00:04:03,938
-[Beth]
Okay, honey, it's showtime.
-Are you sure about this?
64
00:04:04,041 --> 00:04:07,631
Because I have a wedgie
in the back and in the front
in this thing.
65
00:04:07,735 --> 00:04:09,978
I feel like
a nerdy figure skater.
66
00:04:10,082 --> 00:04:12,774
Sexy. Stunner.
I'm all about it.No, it's not. It's not.
67
00:04:12,878 --> 00:04:14,811
-How do I move in this?
-Don't touch it.
68
00:04:14,914 --> 00:04:17,123
I'm not touching it.
I'm holding it out.Stop it. Will you stop?
69
00:04:17,227 --> 00:04:19,402
Get it out now
'cause you can't do that
onstage.
70
00:04:19,505 --> 00:04:22,197
And we're done.
And we're done. Okay, good.
71
00:04:22,301 --> 00:04:24,199
Do I need to be wearing
a glitter onesie?
72
00:04:24,303 --> 00:04:25,753
You only have to wear this
for two hours.
73
00:04:25,856 --> 00:04:27,824
Do not mess this up,
do you hear me?
This is on loan.
74
00:04:27,927 --> 00:04:29,929
Everyone's wearing
sequins right now.
75
00:04:30,033 --> 00:04:31,345
[camera shutter clicking]
76
00:04:31,448 --> 00:04:33,519
Why is she taking my photo?This is Allison.
77
00:04:33,623 --> 00:04:35,935
She is our new
social media manager.
78
00:04:36,039 --> 00:04:38,869
And she's gonna be helping us
target that younger demographic.
79
00:04:38,973 --> 00:04:41,458
Meaning women in their 30s
who wish they were in their 20s.
80
00:04:41,562 --> 00:04:43,080
Hey, what's up?
81
00:04:43,184 --> 00:04:46,532
Um, I took over your socials,
so this morning you tweeted,
82
00:04:46,636 --> 00:04:51,813
"Where are my ladies at?
Meet me at Ballroom G
at 5:00 p.m.
83
00:04:51,917 --> 00:04:53,367
#ShawnMendes.
84
00:04:53,470 --> 00:04:56,335
#GaggingToMeetYouAll."
85
00:04:56,439 --> 00:04:58,993
Okay, we are having fun.
Let's go.
86
00:04:59,096 --> 00:05:02,065
[elevator dings]We need to remind people
that you are still alive.
87
00:05:02,168 --> 00:05:03,584
People know I'm alive.
88
00:05:03,687 --> 00:05:05,655
And to remind them
why this used to be
89
00:05:05,758 --> 00:05:07,829
the best selling franchise.In Romance.
90
00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:10,556
Yes, which is the top
revenue-generating
literary category.
91
00:05:10,660 --> 00:05:13,525
Revenue-generating
isn't how I would describe
our presales right now.
92
00:05:13,628 --> 00:05:15,768
Just think of this as a way
that uses word of mouth.
93
00:05:15,872 --> 00:05:17,494
Oh, you want word of mouth?
Here we go. How's this?
94
00:05:17,598 --> 00:05:20,394
"The only thing
more lost than the city
is the author herself."
95
00:05:20,497 --> 00:05:22,257
"Loveless."
"Passionless."
96
00:05:22,361 --> 00:05:26,261
Uh, "Way past her prime."
And, oh, "This is fake history
at its worst."
97
00:05:26,365 --> 00:05:28,540
A book tour could
change everything, okay?
98
00:05:28,643 --> 00:05:30,956
We have to remind the fans
why they love you so much.
99
00:05:31,059 --> 00:05:34,649
Real history.
I merely season it
with a smidge more nudity.
100
00:05:34,753 --> 00:05:36,962
History had
a ton of nudity.
101
00:05:37,825 --> 00:05:39,896
[narrator on PA]
Deep exploration.
102
00:05:39,999 --> 00:05:42,485
Steamy wondering.
103
00:05:42,588 --> 00:05:47,628
Will Lovemore and Dash find
Queen Taha's priceless
Crown of Fire?
104
00:05:47,731 --> 00:05:49,526
Join them on their search.
105
00:05:49,630 --> 00:05:51,563
So, listen, I wanted to
talk to you about something.
106
00:05:51,666 --> 00:05:52,909
[whispers]
There's so many people.
107
00:05:53,012 --> 00:05:55,152
I know how much you hate
doing these things,
108
00:05:55,256 --> 00:05:57,983
so I've invited Alan
to do the Q and A
with you today.
109
00:05:58,086 --> 00:06:00,088
-What?
-And the rest of the book tour.
110
00:06:00,192 --> 00:06:03,160
Beth, I expressly asked
not to do any more events
with Dash-- Alan, Alan!
111
00:06:03,264 --> 00:06:06,094
-He's gonna humiliate me.
-He's not gonna humiliate you.
112
00:06:06,198 --> 00:06:09,235
Thank you.
You're very good at your job.
Thank you so much. Thank you.
113
00:06:09,339 --> 00:06:10,547
Let me help you with that.
114
00:06:10,651 --> 00:06:12,549
He is-- He's
a body wash commercial.
115
00:06:12,653 --> 00:06:14,517
He's always glistening
all over the place.
116
00:06:14,620 --> 00:06:17,520
There hasn't been an event
where his shirt
didn't come flying off.
117
00:06:17,623 --> 00:06:19,142
You wish.[Beth]
Well, he's already here,
118
00:06:19,245 --> 00:06:21,386
so put on your big-girl panties
and let's get out there.
119
00:06:21,489 --> 00:06:24,665
Remember,
no grumpy face, big words
or boring academic talk.
120
00:06:24,768 --> 00:06:28,047
[audience cheering][laughs]
Yes! Yes!
121
00:06:28,151 --> 00:06:30,084
Come on, RTP!
122
00:06:30,187 --> 00:06:31,672
Ha-ha!
123
00:06:31,775 --> 00:06:34,019
Yes, my Lovemore-heads!
124
00:06:34,122 --> 00:06:37,574
I am so excited
to introduce to you
125
00:06:37,678 --> 00:06:41,509
the award-winning author,
Loretta Sage!
126
00:06:41,613 --> 00:06:44,167
Beth, I can't do this.
I'm not ready.Are you kidding me?
127
00:06:44,270 --> 00:06:45,996
Listen, I've got your back.
You got this.
128
00:06:46,100 --> 00:06:47,619
Go give the people
what they want.
129
00:06:47,722 --> 00:06:49,586
It's not me they want.Get out there now!
130
00:06:49,690 --> 00:06:52,037
[audience cheering, applauding]
131
00:06:52,140 --> 00:06:55,972
Hi. How are you?
Nice to see you. Thank you.
132
00:07:01,322 --> 00:07:03,048
Yep. Mount it.
133
00:07:03,151 --> 00:07:05,395
[chair creaking]
134
00:07:05,499 --> 00:07:08,398
Mount it. Mount it.
Okay.
135
00:07:08,502 --> 00:07:10,193
Find your center.
136
00:07:10,296 --> 00:07:13,852
And now, the moment
you've all been waiting for.
137
00:07:13,955 --> 00:07:15,716
The sexiest...[audience member]
All right!
138
00:07:15,819 --> 00:07:19,823
...most influential hero
of a generation.
139
00:07:19,927 --> 00:07:21,135
That's a bit strong.
140
00:07:21,238 --> 00:07:23,862
His 20th cover
of an Angela Lovemore novel.
141
00:07:24,449 --> 00:07:26,589
Dash McMahon!
142
00:07:26,692 --> 00:07:30,765
[audience cheering]["The Final Countdown" plays]
143
00:07:32,042 --> 00:07:34,562
[audience member]
Oh, my God! Dash!
144
00:07:34,666 --> 00:07:37,047
[cheering intensifies]
145
00:07:57,240 --> 00:07:59,587
Take a bow.I already did mine.
I did mine.
146
00:07:59,691 --> 00:08:02,659
Okay, come on.
One more. I got you.
147
00:08:05,351 --> 00:08:07,595
[cheering]
148
00:08:11,496 --> 00:08:13,670
[applause]
149
00:08:15,741 --> 00:08:17,571
[chair creaking]
150
00:08:17,674 --> 00:08:19,331
Did you guys rehearse that?
Oh, my God.
151
00:08:19,434 --> 00:08:23,266
I'm loving this chemistry
between you two,
and I got to say,
152
00:08:23,369 --> 00:08:25,510
I love this book.
153
00:08:25,613 --> 00:08:26,683
Oh, thank you, Ray.Thank--
154
00:08:26,787 --> 00:08:28,133
Spoiler alert.
155
00:08:28,236 --> 00:08:29,514
A really bold choice
156
00:08:29,617 --> 00:08:31,550
to not have them go
into the tomb at the end.
157
00:08:31,654 --> 00:08:33,276
Talk about
what went into this one.
158
00:08:33,379 --> 00:08:36,831
I mean, this one's
such a special book
for me personally.
159
00:08:36,935 --> 00:08:39,765
I-- I don't know how to say
how much it means to me
160
00:08:39,869 --> 00:08:41,974
that Loretta,
word writer extraordinaire,
161
00:08:42,078 --> 00:08:45,115
has, you know,
named the book after me.
162
00:08:45,219 --> 00:08:47,048
The Lost City of Dash.
163
00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:48,256
The Lost City of D.
164
00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:50,604
Um, but that's not what
the D stands for.
165
00:08:50,707 --> 00:08:53,296
It's D for "dick," right?No dick, no.
166
00:08:53,399 --> 00:08:56,506
It's based on the name
of an ancient tribe,
Dapocagihou-dysphem-ica.
167
00:08:56,610 --> 00:09:01,166
And, um, it was too difficult
for the European colonizers
to pronounce,
168
00:09:01,269 --> 00:09:04,549
so, in true colonial fashion
they abbreviated it.No one cares about this.
169
00:09:04,652 --> 00:09:06,378
That's so interesting.
Okay.
170
00:09:06,481 --> 00:09:08,794
How about we
take some questions
from the audience?
171
00:09:08,898 --> 00:09:10,693
[audience member]
Right here, handsome!Yes.
172
00:09:10,796 --> 00:09:14,938
Dash, what's your favorite
romantic moment?[audience] Ooh.
173
00:09:15,042 --> 00:09:19,564
What I would really like
to know is what is Loretta's
favorite romantic moment?
174
00:09:19,667 --> 00:09:21,600
[host] Ooh, spicy.
175
00:09:21,704 --> 00:09:23,637
Oh, uh...
176
00:09:23,740 --> 00:09:26,432
-Well, being a sapiosexual--
-[audience murmurs]
177
00:09:26,536 --> 00:09:28,745
Oh, is that when
they do the snakes
around the...
178
00:09:28,849 --> 00:09:32,922
No. That's someone
who finds, uh, intellect
179
00:09:33,025 --> 00:09:36,926
or intelligence,
uh, very sexy, you know.
180
00:09:37,029 --> 00:09:38,134
Same.
181
00:09:38,617 --> 00:09:39,860
Really?
182
00:09:39,963 --> 00:09:42,379
Dash! Rip off your shirt![audience cheers]
183
00:09:42,483 --> 00:09:46,211
No, no, no.
We're not gonna do that today.
We're here for Loretta's book.
184
00:09:46,314 --> 00:09:48,178
[host] Do we have questions
for Loretta?
185
00:09:48,282 --> 00:09:53,459
Uh, yes,
studious-looking young lady?
What would you like to ask me?
186
00:09:53,563 --> 00:09:55,600
Can you rip off Dash's shirt?
187
00:09:55,703 --> 00:09:57,049
[cheering]
188
00:09:57,153 --> 00:09:59,983
No, no. We're not gonna
do this again. Sorry.
189
00:10:00,087 --> 00:10:02,607
[audience chanting]
Rip it off! Rip it off!
190
00:10:02,710 --> 00:10:05,023
Rip it off! Rip it off!
Rip it off!
191
00:10:05,126 --> 00:10:08,854
Of course. Of course, yes.
Can do.
192
00:10:09,821 --> 00:10:11,098
Is this happening?
193
00:10:11,201 --> 00:10:12,927
You don't have to do this.Oh, we have to.
194
00:10:13,031 --> 00:10:15,102
We have to give the people
what they want. Yes, yes.
195
00:10:15,205 --> 00:10:17,932
We have to give the people
what they want, yes.
196
00:10:18,036 --> 00:10:21,280
Ladies and gentlemen,
enjoy.
197
00:10:21,384 --> 00:10:26,044
Because The Lost City of D
is Dash's final adventure.
198
00:10:26,147 --> 00:10:28,218
If there even
is a next book,
199
00:10:28,322 --> 00:10:31,428
it will open with Lovemore
receiving the tragic news
200
00:10:31,532 --> 00:10:33,879
of his untimely death.
201
00:10:33,983 --> 00:10:35,363
What?
202
00:10:35,467 --> 00:10:36,917
Shit. I'm sorry.
My smartwatch is stuck.Ow. Hold on.
203
00:10:37,020 --> 00:10:38,090
I know. Don't pull it.
204
00:10:38,194 --> 00:10:39,713
It's okay. Just be real still.
205
00:10:39,816 --> 00:10:41,231
No. That's pulling it.You're pulling it.
206
00:10:41,335 --> 00:10:43,924
You're gonna rip my wig off.
No, you can't--
207
00:10:44,649 --> 00:10:46,892
[audience exclaims]
208
00:10:48,342 --> 00:10:49,308
Oh, my!
209
00:10:49,412 --> 00:10:50,827
Oh, my God.Is he okay?
210
00:10:50,931 --> 00:10:52,553
God, I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
211
00:10:52,657 --> 00:10:55,314
-I'm so sorry.
-[audience member]
You're a bad person.
212
00:10:55,418 --> 00:10:59,664
Stick around
for the costume contest
at 6:00 p.m.
213
00:11:00,526 --> 00:11:02,770
"If there is another book"?
214
00:11:02,874 --> 00:11:07,775
I'm investing
everything we've got
into this tour, okay?
215
00:11:07,879 --> 00:11:11,330
I just don't think I have
another Dash and Lovemore
adventure in me.
216
00:11:11,434 --> 00:11:12,815
How does Dash die?
217
00:11:12,918 --> 00:11:15,058
Was it the snakes?No.
218
00:11:15,162 --> 00:11:17,509
Okay, so I have something
that I have to take care of.
219
00:11:17,612 --> 00:11:20,063
You guys have an interview
in the next suite
in ten minutes.
220
00:11:20,167 --> 00:11:22,583
So can you please do me a favor
and be grown-ups
221
00:11:22,687 --> 00:11:24,205
and get yourselves there
on your own?
222
00:11:24,309 --> 00:11:25,517
Okay. Thank you so much.
223
00:11:26,311 --> 00:11:28,382
Does he die from
a staph infection?
224
00:11:30,349 --> 00:11:32,420
It is a staph infection.
I knew it.
225
00:11:33,594 --> 00:11:34,975
I-I-- All right.
226
00:11:35,078 --> 00:11:38,150
Look, I get it
if you need a break
or something,
227
00:11:38,254 --> 00:11:40,256
but you can't
just kill me, okay?Okay.
228
00:11:40,359 --> 00:11:44,743
I hate that I have to
ask this, but you do know
you're not Dash, right?
229
00:11:44,847 --> 00:11:47,021
Dash is a character
I made up.
230
00:11:47,125 --> 00:11:48,367
Dash?
231
00:11:51,198 --> 00:11:52,440
[camera shutter clicks]Thanks.
232
00:11:52,544 --> 00:11:53,752
Thank you.
233
00:11:56,237 --> 00:11:58,515
Loretta, it's this way.No, I think it's this way.
234
00:11:58,619 --> 00:12:00,966
Can't you see that Dash
means so much to people?
235
00:12:01,070 --> 00:12:02,934
Means so much to you.Not to me.
236
00:12:03,037 --> 00:12:04,694
Well, yeah, to me,
but to other people too.
237
00:12:04,798 --> 00:12:07,766
What about Beth?You know what?
Beth is gonna be fine.
238
00:12:07,870 --> 00:12:11,701
She's gonna find plenty
fresh, young writers
full of great ideas.
239
00:12:11,805 --> 00:12:13,807
You can transition gracefully
240
00:12:13,910 --> 00:12:16,257
into the shirt-on phase
of your modeling career,
241
00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:17,707
and I can be left alone.
242
00:12:17,811 --> 00:12:19,536
Everybody is happy.
243
00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:21,435
No, it's this way.
244
00:12:21,538 --> 00:12:23,368
Beth says you don't even
leave the house anymore.
245
00:12:23,471 --> 00:12:25,508
I don't feel like
that's very happy.
246
00:12:25,611 --> 00:12:28,511
You should be going out in
the world, filling yourself up
on new experiences.
247
00:12:28,614 --> 00:12:30,858
I'm already filled up.
I'm full. I'm fully satiated.
248
00:12:30,962 --> 00:12:34,310
Why would you want
to be stuck at home alone
when you could see the world?
249
00:12:34,413 --> 00:12:35,932
You could be visiting
ancient Greece.
250
00:12:36,036 --> 00:12:38,935
Okay. How could I visit
ancient Greece?
251
00:12:39,039 --> 00:12:41,075
I get it. Because
you're afraid of flying.
252
00:12:41,179 --> 00:12:44,596
No. Because ancient Greece
is in the past.
253
00:12:44,699 --> 00:12:46,253
Just like Dash.
254
00:12:46,356 --> 00:12:49,566
Okay. You want to know who else
is stuck in the past? You are.
255
00:12:49,670 --> 00:12:52,431
You're so afraid
of life hurting you again
that you've stopped living.
256
00:12:52,535 --> 00:12:54,848
You're like a human mummy.
257
00:12:56,332 --> 00:12:58,368
I didn't, um...
258
00:12:59,645 --> 00:13:00,819
Oh.
259
00:13:00,923 --> 00:13:03,063
Mummies are human.
260
00:13:12,348 --> 00:13:14,315
Stupid-- Oh, crap.
261
00:13:15,385 --> 00:13:17,353
I'm so sorry.
I-I will clean this up.
262
00:13:17,456 --> 00:13:19,942
I am not a litterer,
I-I assure you that.
263
00:13:20,045 --> 00:13:23,531
Do you, um--
Do you think you could, uh,
call a car for me, please?
264
00:13:23,635 --> 00:13:25,154
Thank you. Thank you.
265
00:13:27,915 --> 00:13:29,089
Bring the car around.
266
00:13:29,192 --> 00:13:30,642
God, is that
someone's retainer?
267
00:13:30,745 --> 00:13:33,093
I've never said the right thing
one time around her.
268
00:13:33,196 --> 00:13:35,129
I get nervous
because she opens her mouth,
269
00:13:35,233 --> 00:13:39,685
and just an encyclopedia
of beautifulness comes out,
and I just never say--
270
00:13:39,789 --> 00:13:41,101
You know
she's trying to kill me?
271
00:13:41,204 --> 00:13:43,379
I just need
those tomatoes.
272
00:13:43,482 --> 00:13:45,830
You're right.
No, you're right.
273
00:13:45,933 --> 00:13:47,417
I should apologize.
Thank you, man.
274
00:13:47,521 --> 00:13:49,764
I appreciate that
very, very much.You're welcome.
275
00:13:59,913 --> 00:14:02,191
Uh, Loretta Sage. Yeah.
276
00:14:07,403 --> 00:14:08,507
Uh--
277
00:14:09,819 --> 00:14:11,027
Hiya.
278
00:14:11,131 --> 00:14:12,615
Uh, I did not order
an UberPool.
279
00:14:12,718 --> 00:14:15,687
Someone wants to meet you.
We'll have you right back.
280
00:14:15,790 --> 00:14:16,964
Um...
281
00:14:20,450 --> 00:14:21,727
Loretta!
282
00:14:21,831 --> 00:14:23,350
Loretta! Loretta?
283
00:14:26,249 --> 00:14:28,113
[Uber driver] Uh, Loretta?
284
00:14:28,217 --> 00:14:30,805
Did you say "Loretta"?Yeah.
285
00:14:30,909 --> 00:14:32,117
Follow that SUV, man.No.
286
00:14:32,221 --> 00:14:33,981
Come on, please!No, no, no.
287
00:14:34,085 --> 00:14:37,157
I'm not helping
any more handsome strangers.
Fool me once. Mm-mmm.
288
00:14:37,260 --> 00:14:40,574
[bell dings]What is this, Taken?
Am I "tooken"?
289
00:14:40,677 --> 00:14:42,093
Am I sold already?
290
00:14:42,196 --> 00:14:45,199
Am I-- [blows air]
Am I sold to him?
291
00:14:45,303 --> 00:14:48,962
[Loretta] Ow. Stop.Oh, no. Did this feel creepy?
292
00:14:49,065 --> 00:14:51,688
I said
don't make it creepy, guys.
293
00:14:51,792 --> 00:14:53,621
I'm so sorry
about the setting.
294
00:14:53,725 --> 00:14:56,314
I just flew in.
I was in a real panic
to meet you.
295
00:14:56,417 --> 00:14:58,488
I didn't have time
to dress the place up much.
296
00:14:58,592 --> 00:15:01,388
I read you love cheese,
so I just got them all.
297
00:15:01,491 --> 00:15:05,564
Are you the one
who's been emailing me
for photos of my feet?
298
00:15:05,668 --> 00:15:07,532
No. Um--
299
00:15:07,635 --> 00:15:11,950
And I promise
what I'm about to show you
is gonna make you very happy.
300
00:15:12,709 --> 00:15:13,918
But first, a little bit
301
00:15:14,021 --> 00:15:17,231
about the mysterious rogue
you see before you.
302
00:15:17,335 --> 00:15:19,613
Uh, my name
is Abigail Fairfax.
303
00:15:19,716 --> 00:15:22,650
Abigail?It's a gender-neutral name,
like Leslie or Beverly.
304
00:15:22,754 --> 00:15:26,447
Yes, but you're Abigail Fairfax
of the media-mogul Fairfaxes?
305
00:15:27,379 --> 00:15:30,589
Didn't you just
take over your company or...
306
00:15:30,693 --> 00:15:34,628
No, that was my brother,
actually. That was Leslie.
We're all very proud.
307
00:15:34,731 --> 00:15:37,838
Ah. Yes, I should say so,
at such a young age to--
308
00:15:37,942 --> 00:15:39,874
Some might even say
too young.
309
00:15:39,978 --> 00:15:42,705
But that world
never really interested me.
310
00:15:42,808 --> 00:15:45,397
My passions, as you may know,
311
00:15:45,501 --> 00:15:48,607
lie in the hidden things
in the world,
312
00:15:48,711 --> 00:15:51,334
things which defy possession.
313
00:15:51,438 --> 00:15:54,475
Um, some might call me
a collector.
314
00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:58,272
But there is one obsession
in particular
315
00:15:58,376 --> 00:16:00,481
that has held me captive.
316
00:16:01,655 --> 00:16:03,139
The Crown of Fire
317
00:16:03,243 --> 00:16:05,624
and its cascading
red diamonds.
318
00:16:05,728 --> 00:16:09,387
Is this a... Is this
a hidden-camera thing?
319
00:16:09,490 --> 00:16:13,080
So imagine my surprise
when, in your new book,
320
00:16:13,184 --> 00:16:16,463
amidst the pages
of coital reverie,
321
00:16:16,566 --> 00:16:17,395
was something...
322
00:16:17,498 --> 00:16:19,569
Oh, God....quite magnificent.
323
00:16:19,673 --> 00:16:21,330
[laughing]
324
00:16:21,433 --> 00:16:23,988
I get it. I get it.
I so get it right now.
325
00:16:24,091 --> 00:16:25,403
Oh, my gosh.
326
00:16:25,506 --> 00:16:27,681
I literally thought
you guys kidnapped me.
327
00:16:27,784 --> 00:16:30,270
I mean,
this is marketing, right?
Beth set this up?
328
00:16:30,373 --> 00:16:33,273
This was so good, you guys.
This was amazing.
329
00:16:33,376 --> 00:16:36,621
You, with your gun
and your mustache
330
00:16:36,724 --> 00:16:39,693
and your,
"You'd better get in there"
and you know...
331
00:16:39,796 --> 00:16:40,797
[laughs]
332
00:16:40,901 --> 00:16:42,420
Oh, my God.
333
00:16:42,523 --> 00:16:46,286
You, with the G.I. Joe
tone-on-tone outfit.
[laughs]
334
00:16:46,389 --> 00:16:51,394
Your fictional archaeologist
was making real translations
of a dead language.
335
00:16:51,498 --> 00:16:54,397
Mm-hmm.Something nobody else
has been able to do.
336
00:16:54,501 --> 00:16:56,917
Well, nobody else
had ever tried.
337
00:16:57,021 --> 00:16:58,850
Is that right?
Am I saying the right thing?
338
00:16:58,953 --> 00:17:00,610
Except you, right?
339
00:17:00,714 --> 00:17:02,681
Except me!
340
00:17:02,785 --> 00:17:04,511
Yes. See, it turns out
341
00:17:04,614 --> 00:17:07,928
Loretta Sage
was once a young college girl
doing her dissertation
342
00:17:08,032 --> 00:17:10,896
on the dead language of the D
with her future husband,
343
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:14,107
dreaming
of finding Kalaman's tomb
and the Crown of Fire.
344
00:17:14,210 --> 00:17:17,317
I was sorry to read
you gave up your search
after he died.
345
00:17:17,420 --> 00:17:19,043
But what that means is,
346
00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:22,218
you're all I have left.
347
00:17:22,322 --> 00:17:25,497
All-All you have left
for... what?
348
00:17:25,601 --> 00:17:26,636
Hmm.
349
00:17:28,431 --> 00:17:29,674
Oh.
350
00:17:29,777 --> 00:17:31,158
Here we go.
351
00:17:39,477 --> 00:17:40,512
[lid creaks]
352
00:17:45,276 --> 00:17:47,001
What is this?
353
00:17:47,105 --> 00:17:50,798
I believe it is describing
the exact location
of Kalaman's tomb,
354
00:17:50,902 --> 00:17:54,354
in which Taha
and her priceless headdress
are buried.
355
00:17:54,457 --> 00:17:56,597
Well, if this were authentic,
356
00:17:56,701 --> 00:18:02,051
you would still have to
uncover an entire city
357
00:18:02,155 --> 00:18:05,192
that nobody
has been able to find.
358
00:18:05,296 --> 00:18:06,952
I found it.
359
00:18:07,056 --> 00:18:10,197
On a tiny, forgotten island
in the Atlantic
called Isla Hundida.
360
00:18:10,301 --> 00:18:13,856
What I have not been
able to find is Kalaman's
final resting place.
361
00:18:13,959 --> 00:18:18,240
This piece of parchment
is the only clue we found
among the ruins.
362
00:18:18,343 --> 00:18:21,484
I need someone
who can decipher these symbols.
363
00:18:22,106 --> 00:18:23,659
I need you.
364
00:18:24,798 --> 00:18:26,248
Well...Miss Sage,
365
00:18:26,351 --> 00:18:29,734
surely this isn't how
you want your story to end.
366
00:18:29,837 --> 00:18:32,426
We both had our dreams crushed
by bad luck,
367
00:18:32,530 --> 00:18:34,773
or in my case,
an arse-kissing little brother,
368
00:18:34,877 --> 00:18:37,983
but this is our chance
to show them all.
369
00:18:38,087 --> 00:18:39,675
Come with me...
to the island.
370
00:18:39,778 --> 00:18:44,921
Translate these symbols
and help me find
the Crown of Fire.
371
00:18:45,025 --> 00:18:47,648
You can name your price.
372
00:18:50,272 --> 00:18:53,102
I must respectfully decline.
373
00:18:55,794 --> 00:18:57,244
[lid creaks closed]
374
00:18:57,969 --> 00:18:59,177
Well...
375
00:19:00,799 --> 00:19:02,767
I can't say
I'm not disappointed.
376
00:19:03,664 --> 00:19:06,150
But I understand
how you feel.
377
00:19:09,498 --> 00:19:11,258
Will you at least let us
give you a ride?
378
00:19:11,362 --> 00:19:15,642
Oh, no, thank you.
I'll call for my own car,
and I'll just...
379
00:19:16,781 --> 00:19:18,921
[mechanical whirring]
380
00:19:19,024 --> 00:19:21,303
[aircraft blades whirring]
381
00:19:37,215 --> 00:19:40,977
[Beth] I don't feel like
you're listening to me.
This is urgent, and we--
382
00:19:41,081 --> 00:19:44,015
Okay, so the police are saying
that they put out an APB...
383
00:19:44,118 --> 00:19:45,775
APB....on an SUV,
384
00:19:45,879 --> 00:19:48,122
and there's
this 24-hour rule...Why is there a rule?
385
00:19:48,226 --> 00:19:50,642
...and they won't
do anything until...What about the FBI or the CIA?
386
00:19:50,746 --> 00:19:52,713
-They said to call the police.
-I'm sure Loretta's fine.
387
00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:55,406
When I was in college,
my friend Nicki went missing.
388
00:19:55,509 --> 00:19:57,131
Everyone was, like,
freaking out.
389
00:19:57,235 --> 00:19:59,582
But then she was just
in her car.
390
00:19:59,686 --> 00:20:02,861
She was dead, but we found her.
She wasn't gone.
391
00:20:02,965 --> 00:20:07,314
Um, what about...
Maybe we could get a PI
392
00:20:07,418 --> 00:20:09,937
or, like, you know,
private security or--
393
00:20:10,041 --> 00:20:11,939
What about an extraction team,
like the movie?
394
00:20:12,043 --> 00:20:14,528
Yes! But who does that?
The ex-military, right?
395
00:20:14,632 --> 00:20:17,221
Oh, yeah. I think
I actually have somebody
that could help us.
396
00:20:17,324 --> 00:20:20,293
-Oh.
-I did this meditation retreat,
397
00:20:20,396 --> 00:20:22,467
and there was this
trainer guy there.
398
00:20:22,571 --> 00:20:24,089
You should
see this guy meditate.
399
00:20:24,193 --> 00:20:25,608
But he's ex-Navy SEAL.
400
00:20:25,712 --> 00:20:29,509
He-- He's a special ops trainer.
What was his name?
401
00:20:30,199 --> 00:20:31,338
Yeah. Jack Trainer.
402
00:20:31,442 --> 00:20:33,064
So he's a trainer
named Jack Trainer?
403
00:20:33,167 --> 00:20:35,342
That's how I have
everybody in my phone.
See, "Janice Mom."
404
00:20:35,446 --> 00:20:36,895
"Larry Doorknob."
"Stacy Butt Stuff."
405
00:20:36,999 --> 00:20:39,691
Look, this is
what this guy does.
He finds people.
406
00:20:39,795 --> 00:20:42,073
If there's anybody
that can help us, it's him.
407
00:20:42,176 --> 00:20:43,557
[line ringing]
408
00:20:46,802 --> 00:20:48,907
[ringing continues]
409
00:20:49,011 --> 00:20:51,531
[on phone] Jack Trainer.Oh, so his name
is actually Jack Trainer.
410
00:20:51,634 --> 00:20:55,535
Hi, uh, this is Alan
from "Touching Your Inner Self."
411
00:20:57,019 --> 00:20:58,848
The meditation retreat?
412
00:20:58,952 --> 00:21:00,471
[chewing sounds]
413
00:21:00,574 --> 00:21:03,646
Anyway, uh, okay.
Our friend Loretta
has been kidnapped,
414
00:21:03,750 --> 00:21:05,199
and no one's helping us.
415
00:21:05,303 --> 00:21:06,787
[Jack]
How long she been missing?
416
00:21:06,891 --> 00:21:08,133
Maybe two hours now.
417
00:21:08,237 --> 00:21:09,549
Who is that?
418
00:21:09,652 --> 00:21:13,691
Um, this is B--
This is Beth. I'm Beth.
419
00:21:13,794 --> 00:21:16,210
And Allison
is on too, sir.
420
00:21:16,314 --> 00:21:18,523
Did she have any
Wi-Fi-enabled devices?
421
00:21:18,627 --> 00:21:21,526
-She's got her phone, right?
-No, I have her phone.
422
00:21:21,630 --> 00:21:24,253
Oh! She has a smartwatch.
It ripped my wig off.
423
00:21:24,357 --> 00:21:27,291
What was that scenario?
Never mind. Open the phone.
424
00:21:27,394 --> 00:21:28,947
Go to the smartwatch app.All right.
425
00:21:29,051 --> 00:21:31,364
Then hit "Find My Smartwatch."
426
00:21:31,467 --> 00:21:34,401
Oh, my... That is so good.
That's why we called.
427
00:21:34,505 --> 00:21:36,955
"Anticipate the difficult
by managing the easy."
428
00:21:37,059 --> 00:21:40,752
Is that Oprah or Deepak? Laozi fromTao-te Ching.
429
00:21:40,856 --> 00:21:42,064
Oh, my God.
430
00:21:42,167 --> 00:21:43,859
It's in the Atlantic.
431
00:21:43,962 --> 00:21:46,310
She's on a plane?[Alan]
How can you tell that?
432
00:21:46,413 --> 00:21:48,588
'Cause she can't swim
that fast.
433
00:21:48,691 --> 00:21:50,141
[Jack]
Doesn't sound like
a ransom scenario.
434
00:21:50,244 --> 00:21:52,868
My guess is blood sport,
Hunger Games type situation.
435
00:21:52,971 --> 00:21:55,802
Possibly some coke-fueled
dark web scavenger hunt.
436
00:21:55,905 --> 00:21:57,942
Real clown shit.
We'll have to move fast.
437
00:21:58,045 --> 00:22:00,979
-How do we pay you?
-Cryptocurrency. Cash App.
438
00:22:01,083 --> 00:22:04,569
I'll have her back
within 48 hours
or your next rescue is free.
439
00:22:04,673 --> 00:22:06,157
How many people
need a next rescue?
440
00:22:06,260 --> 00:22:07,779
More than you'd think.
441
00:22:07,883 --> 00:22:09,712
-I'm gonna need that phone.
-I'll bring it to you.
442
00:22:09,816 --> 00:22:12,577
Let me know where she lands.
I'll meet you there, Alan.
443
00:22:12,681 --> 00:22:15,822
[aircraft jets whirring]
444
00:22:27,385 --> 00:22:28,628
Hello.
445
00:22:33,218 --> 00:22:34,358
Where am I?
446
00:22:34,461 --> 00:22:36,463
Um, you're on my plane.
447
00:22:36,567 --> 00:22:37,775
It's nice, isn't it? Hmm?
448
00:22:37,878 --> 00:22:39,708
The seats are made of
mama llama leather.
449
00:22:39,811 --> 00:22:42,918
Well, I'm getting off
your plane.
450
00:22:43,021 --> 00:22:44,402
Unchain me!
451
00:22:44,506 --> 00:22:46,059
That's your seat belt.
452
00:22:46,646 --> 00:22:48,510
Did you chloroform me?
453
00:22:48,613 --> 00:22:50,822
People actually do that?
454
00:22:50,926 --> 00:22:53,100
[grunts, groans]
455
00:22:53,204 --> 00:22:55,862
Well, you know,
it's a classic for a reason.
456
00:22:56,552 --> 00:22:57,795
My body feels drunk.
457
00:22:57,898 --> 00:22:59,797
It'll wear off in a bit.
I am sorry.
458
00:22:59,900 --> 00:23:02,316
I just couldn't wait around
for you to change your mind.
459
00:23:02,420 --> 00:23:04,871
Stop playing jelly.Time is not on our side.
460
00:23:04,974 --> 00:23:07,701
You see, the volcano
we're excavating around
461
00:23:07,805 --> 00:23:09,772
has developed
a bad case of indigestion.
462
00:23:09,876 --> 00:23:11,740
I'm rather worried
that when it blows,[grunts]
463
00:23:11,843 --> 00:23:13,914
everything that's left
of the Lost City
will be destroyed.
464
00:23:14,018 --> 00:23:15,916
Oh, my God.
My legs don't work.
465
00:23:16,020 --> 00:23:21,439
So, this is our last chance
to find both the tomb
and the crown.
466
00:23:21,543 --> 00:23:23,579
Oh, God. [groaning][Fairfax] Oh!
467
00:23:23,683 --> 00:23:25,961
Don't worry.
That's just our final descent.
468
00:23:26,064 --> 00:23:32,070
But it is the beginning
of the greatest adventure
of your life.
469
00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:31,751
[engine switches off,
door opens]
470
00:24:32,372 --> 00:24:33,580
[door closes]
471
00:24:37,101 --> 00:24:39,068
[chattering in Spanish]
472
00:24:40,691 --> 00:24:42,762
Welcome to the Lost City.
473
00:24:52,392 --> 00:24:53,807
How did you find it?
474
00:24:53,911 --> 00:24:56,051
So, the city was built
on a lava dome.
475
00:24:56,154 --> 00:24:58,847
As the volcano became active,
the dome filled with lava,
476
00:24:58,950 --> 00:25:01,574
and sunken things
rose to the surface.
477
00:25:01,677 --> 00:25:03,576
The D exposed itself.
478
00:25:03,679 --> 00:25:06,717
-The entire city?
-No, no. Just the tip.
479
00:25:06,820 --> 00:25:10,030
As soon as I heard rumors
of the ruins, I flew over
and bought the place.
480
00:25:10,134 --> 00:25:13,413
The site?No. The island.
The southern half.
481
00:25:13,517 --> 00:25:15,864
I got a good deal
'cause this is where
the lava flows.
482
00:25:15,967 --> 00:25:18,211
We've been excavating
for a year now.
483
00:25:19,281 --> 00:25:21,835
One doesn't kidnap
a romance novelist
on day one.
484
00:25:21,939 --> 00:25:23,975
Ah, yes, as the saying goes.
485
00:25:24,079 --> 00:25:27,082
Rafi doesn't like it.
Do you, Rafi?
486
00:25:27,185 --> 00:25:30,361
He says
we're disrespecting
his heritage.
487
00:25:30,464 --> 00:25:33,709
But not a lot of other
job options on the island,
are there, Rafi?
488
00:25:33,813 --> 00:25:35,884
Beggars can't be choosers.
489
00:25:45,721 --> 00:25:47,551
No more charcuterie,
I take it.
490
00:25:47,654 --> 00:25:49,760
Mmm. Please.
I'm not a monster.
491
00:25:49,863 --> 00:25:51,693
Whatever you need, just shout.
492
00:25:53,211 --> 00:25:58,078
Uh, leave one hand free.
She has some translating to do.
493
00:25:59,286 --> 00:26:00,529
And then what?
494
00:26:00,633 --> 00:26:03,152
Loretta, I really wish
you would try and see
495
00:26:03,256 --> 00:26:05,396
what an exciting opportunity
this is for us.
496
00:26:05,499 --> 00:26:09,400
I believe this text describes
the exact location of the tomb.
497
00:26:09,503 --> 00:26:12,023
It's a logographic system.
498
00:26:12,783 --> 00:26:15,371
Like cuneiform or hieroglyphics.
499
00:26:15,475 --> 00:26:19,272
Now, if you have other documents
that possibly I can compare--
500
00:26:19,375 --> 00:26:20,653
Yeah, no luck there.
501
00:26:20,756 --> 00:26:23,552
We found some scratching
at a nearby waterfall,
502
00:26:23,656 --> 00:26:24,553
but it was useless.
503
00:26:24,657 --> 00:26:26,210
Just pictures of women.
504
00:26:26,313 --> 00:26:30,904
Look, I, too, wish
your dear old dead
archaeologist husband
505
00:26:31,008 --> 00:26:33,735
was here to help,
but he's not, so,
506
00:26:33,838 --> 00:26:36,945
time to shine, Loretta,
sex-book writer.
507
00:26:38,360 --> 00:26:40,086
They will come for me.
508
00:26:40,673 --> 00:26:42,398
Who, exactly?
509
00:26:42,502 --> 00:26:44,228
Your-- Your many cats?
510
00:26:44,331 --> 00:26:46,126
Oh, I don't have cats.
511
00:26:46,713 --> 00:26:48,542
Somehow even more sad.
512
00:26:48,646 --> 00:26:51,615
I have a hamster, asshole!
513
00:26:51,718 --> 00:26:53,375
You have a hamster's asshole?
514
00:26:53,478 --> 00:26:57,241
No, there was a--
there was a comma between--
Forget it.
515
00:26:57,344 --> 00:27:00,762
I bet your brother never had
to kidnap anyone!
516
00:27:15,708 --> 00:27:19,815
[announcer on intercom
speaking Spanish]
517
00:27:32,483 --> 00:27:35,762
♪ From the dusty mesa♪
518
00:27:35,866 --> 00:27:40,180
♪ Her looming shadow grows♪
519
00:27:40,284 --> 00:27:43,667
♪ Hidden in the branches♪
520
00:27:43,770 --> 00:27:47,843
♪ Of the poison creosote♪
521
00:27:51,502 --> 00:27:53,090
Good to see you, man.
522
00:27:53,193 --> 00:27:54,816
Phone.Right.
523
00:28:06,690 --> 00:28:07,932
What?
524
00:28:08,036 --> 00:28:10,624
Yeah, I was thinking
that I could, you know,
525
00:28:10,728 --> 00:28:12,316
maybe just sort of
come with you.
526
00:28:12,419 --> 00:28:14,180
Why?To help.
527
00:28:14,283 --> 00:28:18,425
I know CPR.
I know some light karate.
CrossFit certified.
528
00:28:18,529 --> 00:28:20,048
Okay, okay, listen, listen!
529
00:28:20,911 --> 00:28:22,602
I just-- It's my fault.
530
00:28:22,706 --> 00:28:24,811
Not the kidnapping
and stuff,
531
00:28:24,915 --> 00:28:27,987
but, like, I said
some really mean stuff to her,
and I regret it,
532
00:28:28,090 --> 00:28:29,713
and I just need
to take it back.
533
00:28:29,816 --> 00:28:31,197
I called her a human mummy.
534
00:28:32,543 --> 00:28:33,958
Mummies are human.
535
00:28:34,614 --> 00:28:37,030
I'm aware of that now, yes.
536
00:28:37,134 --> 00:28:40,171
That is true.[breathes deeply]
537
00:28:40,275 --> 00:28:41,276
Please.
538
00:28:42,553 --> 00:28:45,245
All right, Alan,
I can't be responsible
for you.
539
00:28:46,212 --> 00:28:47,213
Okay. Yeah.
540
00:28:47,316 --> 00:28:50,285
I need you
to stay in the car.Yeah.
541
00:28:50,388 --> 00:28:52,494
In the car.In the car.
542
00:28:52,597 --> 00:28:55,048
The whole time.The whole time?
543
00:28:55,152 --> 00:28:56,394
Whole time.
544
00:28:56,498 --> 00:28:57,741
Mm-hmm.
545
00:28:59,501 --> 00:29:00,778
Yes!
546
00:29:06,646 --> 00:29:07,612
[lock chirps]
547
00:29:07,716 --> 00:29:09,062
This is me.
548
00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:12,238
Really? Is this what
the SEAL teams use?
549
00:29:12,341 --> 00:29:14,999
"Only a fool chooses a horse
by its color."
550
00:29:15,103 --> 00:29:17,899
Right, right.
The Tao-te Ching?
551
00:29:18,002 --> 00:29:21,143
No, it was on the sign
back there at the rental place.
552
00:29:22,420 --> 00:29:24,871
[car engine starts, revs]
553
00:29:29,669 --> 00:29:30,877
Thank you.
554
00:29:35,433 --> 00:29:41,267
♪ I once had a life
Or rather, life had me♪
555
00:29:41,370 --> 00:29:44,373
♪ I was one among many♪
556
00:29:44,477 --> 00:29:47,929
♪ Or at least I seemed to be♪
557
00:29:48,032 --> 00:29:54,867
♪ Well, I read an old quotation
In a book just yesterday♪
558
00:29:54,970 --> 00:29:57,904
♪ Said
"Gonna reap just what you sow♪
559
00:29:58,008 --> 00:30:01,218
♪ The debts you make
You have to pay"♪
560
00:30:01,321 --> 00:30:03,047
♪ Can you get to that?♪
561
00:30:03,703 --> 00:30:05,153
What? What?
562
00:30:07,396 --> 00:30:09,398
I was hoping to invite you
to breakfast,
563
00:30:09,502 --> 00:30:12,160
but it looks like
you still have work to do.
564
00:30:13,126 --> 00:30:14,887
Uh, wait, wait, wait.
565
00:30:14,990 --> 00:30:16,509
Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
566
00:30:16,612 --> 00:30:18,614
I believe this says
567
00:30:18,718 --> 00:30:20,720
"rest" or "resting."
568
00:30:20,824 --> 00:30:23,723
So it would be,
"Kalaman and his treasure..."
569
00:30:23,827 --> 00:30:28,314
And then
there are some missing pieces,
and then "rest," "resting,"
570
00:30:28,417 --> 00:30:31,835
and something about
"tears," so...
571
00:30:33,629 --> 00:30:34,630
Resting where?
572
00:30:34,734 --> 00:30:35,942
Hmm? Oh!
573
00:30:36,046 --> 00:30:38,807
Didn't say.
It doesn't say.
574
00:30:38,911 --> 00:30:40,050
[Loretta stammers]
575
00:30:40,153 --> 00:30:43,156
Miss Sage,
I need you to do better.
576
00:30:43,260 --> 00:30:46,711
Then next time
maybe don't kidnap
a romance novelist, hmm?
577
00:30:46,815 --> 00:30:49,024
My God,
this shouldn't be this hard!
578
00:30:49,128 --> 00:30:51,061
It is not some pauper's grave
we're looking for.
579
00:30:51,164 --> 00:30:53,442
It is a monument to a great man!
580
00:30:53,546 --> 00:30:55,479
King Kalaman was ambitious,
he was powerful,
581
00:30:55,582 --> 00:30:58,033
he was the first man
to build a city
in the Atlantic.
582
00:30:58,137 --> 00:31:00,794
The eyes of his subjects
would have turned to him.
583
00:31:00,898 --> 00:31:04,143
He would have had a pyramid,
a ziggurat, a tower
584
00:31:04,246 --> 00:31:06,214
to hold his Crown of Fire.
585
00:31:06,317 --> 00:31:09,217
All I need to know
is where it is.
586
00:31:09,320 --> 00:31:12,565
I don't know if you recall,
but you only said translate it.
587
00:31:12,668 --> 00:31:14,808
I-I translated it.
588
00:31:15,602 --> 00:31:17,190
Translate it again.
589
00:31:22,816 --> 00:31:25,854
One day, we're gonna
laugh about this.
[chuckles]
590
00:31:25,958 --> 00:31:28,098
Such an adventure
we're having.
591
00:31:31,204 --> 00:31:35,553
I should go with you,
just for backup and awesomeness.
592
00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:38,177
This is pretty awesome.
593
00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:40,938
You got nature, the radio.
594
00:31:42,077 --> 00:31:45,701
Yeah, you're right,
but it's very, very important
to me
595
00:31:45,805 --> 00:31:47,669
that she knows
that I came to rescue her.
596
00:31:47,772 --> 00:31:49,464
Why?
Do you like this woman?
597
00:31:50,465 --> 00:31:52,674
No, I just brought snacks
and stuff.
598
00:31:52,777 --> 00:31:54,952
And she gets a little grumpy
when she's hungry.
599
00:31:55,056 --> 00:31:58,473
Blood pressure drops.
And I get that because I'm
a five-meal-a-day kind of guy.
600
00:31:58,576 --> 00:32:01,372
Do you keto, by the way?
You look like you keto.
601
00:32:01,476 --> 00:32:03,167
No.No. Yeah.
602
00:32:03,271 --> 00:32:04,997
[chuckles]
You don't need it.
603
00:32:05,100 --> 00:32:06,584
What is it?
604
00:32:06,688 --> 00:32:10,278
I just want her to think of me
as more than a cover model.
605
00:32:10,381 --> 00:32:14,627
But, Alan,
you are so much more.
You're my lookout.
606
00:32:14,730 --> 00:32:18,079
Okay, can I at least do the part
where I put her in the car
607
00:32:18,182 --> 00:32:21,910
and I just go,
"Shh. You're safe now"?
608
00:32:22,980 --> 00:32:24,982
Sure, champ.
She'll love that.
609
00:32:25,086 --> 00:32:26,950
Oh, you're just going?
Going to start?
610
00:32:27,053 --> 00:32:29,469
You're starting
the mission now? Okay.
611
00:32:38,789 --> 00:32:40,446
[handle rattles]
612
00:32:41,136 --> 00:32:43,587
[birds screeching]
613
00:32:43,690 --> 00:32:45,934
["Red Right Hand" playing]
614
00:32:53,666 --> 00:32:55,875
[grunts] Oh!
615
00:33:02,675 --> 00:33:03,917
[grunts]
616
00:33:04,918 --> 00:33:06,403
Go to sleep.
617
00:33:06,506 --> 00:33:08,163
♪ Take a little walk
To the edge of town♪
618
00:33:08,267 --> 00:33:10,994
♪ And go across the tracks♪
619
00:33:12,340 --> 00:33:16,447
♪ Where the viaduct looms
Like a bird of doom♪
620
00:33:16,551 --> 00:33:20,658
♪ As it shifts and cracks♪
621
00:33:20,762 --> 00:33:26,526
♪ Where secrets lie
In the border fires
In the humming wires♪
622
00:33:26,630 --> 00:33:29,771
♪ Hey, man, you know
You're never coming back♪
623
00:33:29,874 --> 00:33:32,084
♪ Past the square
Past the bridge♪
624
00:33:32,187 --> 00:33:35,121
♪ Past the mills
Past the stacks♪
625
00:33:35,225 --> 00:33:36,364
Alan.What?
626
00:33:36,467 --> 00:33:38,228
This is a breach of trust, Alan.
627
00:33:38,331 --> 00:33:39,884
I can help. Let me help.
628
00:33:39,988 --> 00:33:43,164
♪ A tall handsome man
In a dusty black coat♪
629
00:33:43,267 --> 00:33:45,925
Stay close. Stay alive.
630
00:33:50,792 --> 00:33:52,035
Hey.
631
00:33:53,105 --> 00:33:54,347
[grunts]
632
00:33:54,451 --> 00:33:56,867
♪ He'll wrap you in his arms♪
633
00:33:56,970 --> 00:33:58,489
Go to sleep.
634
00:33:58,593 --> 00:34:00,767
♪ Tell you that you've
Been a good boy♪
635
00:34:00,871 --> 00:34:04,978
I got his head.
What do I do with his head?
I'm just gonna set him down.
636
00:34:06,256 --> 00:34:07,981
[shouts, grunts]
637
00:34:11,123 --> 00:34:12,331
[shouts]No.
638
00:34:12,917 --> 00:34:14,091
Hey, hey, no!
639
00:34:14,195 --> 00:34:15,403
No, no, no!
640
00:34:15,506 --> 00:34:16,956
[grunts]
641
00:34:17,060 --> 00:34:19,752
♪ There won't be a single thing
That you can do♪
642
00:34:19,855 --> 00:34:22,858
♪ He's a god, he's a man
He's a ghost, he's a guru♪
643
00:34:22,962 --> 00:34:24,791
Ooh, yeah! Ooh.
644
00:34:24,895 --> 00:34:25,861
Ow.
645
00:34:25,965 --> 00:34:27,518
Teamwork, yeah!
646
00:34:27,622 --> 00:34:30,901
Great effort, Alan, but that man
was already unconscious.
647
00:34:31,004 --> 00:34:32,696
I was already wound up.
648
00:34:33,628 --> 00:34:36,389
Just don't do it
when I'm...
649
00:34:39,461 --> 00:34:40,738
Hi.
650
00:34:42,982 --> 00:34:44,708
-[grunts]
-Oh!
651
00:34:45,985 --> 00:34:47,607
[Alan] On your seven!
652
00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:49,747
[shouts]
653
00:34:52,543 --> 00:34:53,613
Oh!
654
00:34:58,411 --> 00:35:00,344
Trainer, he's not asleep!
655
00:35:00,448 --> 00:35:02,622
Stay-- Stay down. Stay down.
656
00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:07,800
-You're doing great.
-Thanks.
657
00:35:07,903 --> 00:35:09,422
Where you going?
658
00:35:09,526 --> 00:35:12,287
♪ Through the ghettos
And the barrio♪
659
00:35:12,391 --> 00:35:14,910
♪ And the Bowery and the slums♪What?
660
00:35:15,014 --> 00:35:16,291
[grunts]
661
00:35:17,568 --> 00:35:19,052
Loretta Sage?
662
00:35:19,536 --> 00:35:20,330
Yes.
663
00:35:20,433 --> 00:35:22,297
I'm getting you out of here.
664
00:35:23,333 --> 00:35:26,370
Why are you so handsome?My dad was a weatherman.
665
00:35:26,888 --> 00:35:28,131
[grunts]
666
00:35:28,579 --> 00:35:29,408
A-Alan?
667
00:35:29,511 --> 00:35:31,548
Yeah.What are you doing here?
668
00:35:31,651 --> 00:35:34,447
-Uh, irregardless,
I'm here to save you.
-That's not...
669
00:35:34,551 --> 00:35:36,794
-I think he meant "regardless."
-Yes.
670
00:35:38,210 --> 00:35:42,179
Ooh, uh, does she need
saving in there, Trainer?
I think she's fine there.
671
00:35:42,283 --> 00:35:45,458
No, no, leave it.
Don't take their stuff.
They'll come after us.
672
00:35:48,116 --> 00:35:49,669
Alan, why do you
keep doing that?
673
00:35:49,773 --> 00:35:51,740
Why do you keep doing that?
I had that one.
674
00:35:51,844 --> 00:35:54,364
It's just getting mean now.
It's unnecessary.
675
00:35:54,467 --> 00:35:56,228
I'm sorry.
I just wanted to get one in.
676
00:35:56,331 --> 00:35:59,403
-Excuse me. Would it be possible
to remove me from the chair?
-No time.
677
00:35:59,507 --> 00:36:01,923
-No time?
There's been so much chitchat.
-[men shouting]
678
00:36:02,026 --> 00:36:03,338
We should definitely go.
679
00:36:03,442 --> 00:36:05,064
[security shouting]
Let's go! Let's go!
680
00:36:05,168 --> 00:36:08,136
♪ We're running with
The shadows of the night♪
681
00:36:08,240 --> 00:36:12,416
♪ So, baby, take my hand
It'll be all right♪
682
00:36:12,520 --> 00:36:16,524
♪ They'll come true in the end♪
683
00:36:30,917 --> 00:36:32,056
Why are things exploding?
684
00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:33,506
[explosion]
685
00:36:33,610 --> 00:36:35,681
[people shouting in Spanish]
686
00:36:39,719 --> 00:36:40,755
I got--
687
00:36:42,412 --> 00:36:43,620
[lock beeps]Okay.
688
00:36:44,517 --> 00:36:45,794
Shh...
689
00:36:45,898 --> 00:36:47,796
Shh. You're safe now.
690
00:36:47,900 --> 00:36:49,039
You're...
691
00:36:49,142 --> 00:36:51,283
How-- How are you so calm?
692
00:36:51,386 --> 00:36:53,871
That was my--
That was my line.[Jack] Here.
693
00:36:56,011 --> 00:36:57,910
What?Is that Reiki?
694
00:36:58,013 --> 00:37:00,464
Are you healing me?I think so.
695
00:37:00,568 --> 00:37:03,778
-[Loretta] Ah.
-As Laozi says,
"To the mind that is still..."
696
00:37:03,881 --> 00:37:06,781
"...the whole universe
surrenders."[Alan] Hey, yeah, I know some--
697
00:37:06,884 --> 00:37:09,680
I know some, um, quotes
that could be good
for this moment.
698
00:37:09,784 --> 00:37:11,510
In omnia paratus.
699
00:37:12,407 --> 00:37:14,271
"Ready for anything."
700
00:37:14,375 --> 00:37:17,032
Maybe we shouldn't
be just staring lovingly
into each other's eyes
701
00:37:17,136 --> 00:37:20,588
like you're gonna fall in love
like I'm not here.
702
00:37:21,140 --> 00:37:22,106
Who are you?
703
00:37:22,210 --> 00:37:24,937
Just a guy
trying to do his job.
704
00:37:25,040 --> 00:37:27,836
And right now, that job
is to get this lovely lady--
705
00:37:28,665 --> 00:37:30,183
Oh! Oh.
706
00:37:30,287 --> 00:37:32,185
Oh, God. Okay.[Alan groaning]
707
00:37:33,359 --> 00:37:35,568
-[gunshot]
-[Alan] No. What is happening?
708
00:37:36,224 --> 00:37:37,190
[Loretta shouts]
709
00:37:37,294 --> 00:37:38,916
-[gunshot]
-[shouts]
710
00:37:39,020 --> 00:37:40,987
[Alan] Okay. What do we do?
711
00:37:41,091 --> 00:37:43,196
We need to do-- I can't see.
712
00:37:43,300 --> 00:37:44,715
I don't like it! [gags]
713
00:37:44,819 --> 00:37:46,303
Here. Here!
714
00:37:46,407 --> 00:37:48,857
-Why would you throw a gun?
-Seriously?
715
00:37:50,238 --> 00:37:53,068
Get me out of the chair.I can't. We don't have time.
716
00:37:53,172 --> 00:37:54,484
[bullet whizzes, clangs]
717
00:37:56,624 --> 00:37:58,695
[Alan] Gotta squeeze!
You got to do a Kegel
or something!
718
00:37:58,798 --> 00:38:01,180
-Kegel it!
-What do you think a Kegel is?
719
00:38:01,284 --> 00:38:03,665
I'm not in it, not in!
Still not in!
720
00:38:03,769 --> 00:38:06,150
-You got to go in more.
-Stop. Stop. Stop it!
721
00:38:06,254 --> 00:38:08,256
[window shatters][gasps] Oh, oh, oh!
722
00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:11,880
Oh, God. Get in the car,
get in the car!
Start the car! Start the car!
723
00:38:11,984 --> 00:38:13,261
-Go, go.
-Move your leg.
724
00:38:13,365 --> 00:38:15,677
Which one?Both of them! Move them!
725
00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:21,407
Forward, forward!Okay. Okay.
726
00:38:21,511 --> 00:38:25,825
-I'm going! I'm going! Okay!
-Drive!
727
00:38:26,964 --> 00:38:30,589
[Alan]
Shh. You're safe now. Shh.
728
00:38:32,245 --> 00:38:33,626
Ow.
729
00:38:33,730 --> 00:38:35,870
Shh. You're safe now.No, I'm not. Not safe.
730
00:38:35,973 --> 00:38:37,734
Oh, no, am I bleeding?
731
00:38:37,837 --> 00:38:40,840
-I don't think that's yours.
-Oh, no, that's a lot of blood.
732
00:38:40,944 --> 00:38:42,048
[Alan gags]
733
00:38:42,152 --> 00:38:43,981
[Loretta] Cheese and rice!
734
00:38:44,085 --> 00:38:45,569
Are those his brains?What?
735
00:38:45,673 --> 00:38:47,640
I think his brains
are on my face!
736
00:38:47,744 --> 00:38:51,368
Definitely his brains
are in my mouth.
I can taste his thoughts!
737
00:38:51,472 --> 00:38:52,680
Focus on the road.
738
00:38:52,783 --> 00:38:54,923
He just liked
training people. Trainer.
739
00:38:55,027 --> 00:38:57,892
-What are you talking about?
-He loved me.
740
00:38:57,995 --> 00:39:00,584
Can you just scooch the car
over to the left?
741
00:39:00,688 --> 00:39:04,416
Get it off. Get it off.Oh, God.
742
00:39:04,519 --> 00:39:05,796
Watch out!
743
00:39:10,007 --> 00:39:12,907
Oh! Oh! Oh!
744
00:39:13,010 --> 00:39:15,047
[laughs]
745
00:39:15,150 --> 00:39:16,911
Oh, did you see...
746
00:39:19,879 --> 00:39:20,915
No.
747
00:39:26,334 --> 00:39:27,646
Oh.
748
00:39:29,095 --> 00:39:31,408
Oh, no. Oh, no.[horn honks]
749
00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:33,445
Oh, no.
750
00:39:41,867 --> 00:39:43,420
Oh, no.
751
00:39:44,110 --> 00:39:45,905
[Loretta] Alan?[gasps]
752
00:39:46,009 --> 00:39:49,599
Oh, holy Christmas.
Are you okay? Are you okay?
753
00:39:49,702 --> 00:39:51,773
Do you think you could
get me out of here?
754
00:39:51,877 --> 00:39:53,430
Yeah. Okay.
755
00:39:53,534 --> 00:39:56,433
You just flew out of the car.I did. I did, indeed.
756
00:39:56,537 --> 00:39:57,986
Okay. I got you.
I got you.
757
00:39:58,090 --> 00:40:00,541
Can you get me out of the chair?
Get me out of the chair.
758
00:40:00,644 --> 00:40:02,474
You're right.
You're right. You're right.
759
00:40:03,820 --> 00:40:05,649
Is that--
Is that a nail filer?Yeah.
760
00:40:05,753 --> 00:40:07,237
Can you just rip it?It's working.
761
00:40:07,340 --> 00:40:09,135
And maybe next time
I toss a gun at you,
762
00:40:09,239 --> 00:40:11,137
you can catch it
instead of ducking.
763
00:40:11,241 --> 00:40:14,451
How about the next time
you toss a gun at me,
you say, "Hey, Alan, catch"?
764
00:40:14,555 --> 00:40:16,419
Then maybe do that
before you throw it?
765
00:40:16,522 --> 00:40:18,628
Well, "here"
is a synonym for "catch."
766
00:40:18,731 --> 00:40:20,250
No, "here" is not a cinnamon
for "catch."
767
00:40:20,353 --> 00:40:22,425
In a colloquial kind of way,
yes, it is.
768
00:40:22,528 --> 00:40:24,634
You say, "Here,"
I toss you a sweatshirt.
769
00:40:24,737 --> 00:40:26,739
You say, "Here,"
I toss you a pen.
770
00:40:26,843 --> 00:40:29,915
How 'bout just,
"Hey! Catch! Gun!"
771
00:40:30,018 --> 00:40:33,021
Anything that you want
to throw, I'll catch it
because you said, "Catch."
772
00:40:33,125 --> 00:40:34,885
And I'll catch it
because you said it.
773
00:40:34,989 --> 00:40:37,405
That is also an option,
and then we would have a gun
with us.
774
00:40:37,509 --> 00:40:38,613
That's a thing.
775
00:40:38,717 --> 00:40:40,995
Be careful.Okay, we need to call--
776
00:40:41,098 --> 00:40:42,755
Be careful.
777
00:40:42,859 --> 00:40:45,378
We need to call for help,
get to the airport
and get out of here.
778
00:40:45,482 --> 00:40:47,484
And I am driving.Okay.
779
00:40:49,693 --> 00:40:52,558
[both]
Oh. Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh!
780
00:41:02,292 --> 00:41:04,674
Okay, call for--
call for help.
781
00:41:04,777 --> 00:41:06,572
Where's your phone?
782
00:41:09,955 --> 00:41:10,990
Okay.
783
00:41:14,615 --> 00:41:17,445
-Tell me you caught them.
-I tagged the blond one.
784
00:41:19,102 --> 00:41:21,932
Oh, Loretta.
785
00:41:22,036 --> 00:41:24,107
What are you thinking?
786
00:41:24,210 --> 00:41:27,317
You might've killed one of them,
but his partner's
still with her.
787
00:41:27,420 --> 00:41:31,079
And he is clearly skilled,
highly trained
788
00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:33,737
and very dangerous.
789
00:41:43,540 --> 00:41:47,613
So, Miss Sage said
she was gonna leave the event,
790
00:41:47,717 --> 00:41:52,376
then got in a car
and left the event?
791
00:41:52,480 --> 00:41:55,172
-Did you try calling her?
-She doesn't have her phone.
792
00:41:55,276 --> 00:41:56,691
Stolen phone.Didn't say that.
793
00:41:56,795 --> 00:41:58,555
[Nana]
Where's my magnifier?
794
00:41:58,659 --> 00:42:00,661
Listen, can you please
help with Nana?
795
00:42:00,764 --> 00:42:03,146
I don't want her
hearing about Loretta
'cause it's going to upset her.
796
00:42:03,249 --> 00:42:06,321
-What about Loretta?
-Nothing, Nana.
She just went on a trip.
797
00:42:06,425 --> 00:42:07,702
[Nana] Good.[Beth] Yeah.
798
00:42:07,806 --> 00:42:10,256
That girl needed
to get out of the house.
799
00:42:10,360 --> 00:42:14,537
So, this is the thing.
Loretta's phone is not stolen.
I took it.
800
00:42:14,640 --> 00:42:19,093
I gave it to Alan.
Alan then gave it to
the trainer, uh, Jack Trainer.
801
00:42:19,196 --> 00:42:21,474
And that is how we found
her wearable.
802
00:42:21,578 --> 00:42:23,269
And who's Alan?[Beth] Dash.
803
00:42:23,373 --> 00:42:26,203
-What's that?
-He's the hero
in all of her books.
804
00:42:26,307 --> 00:42:29,344
-Nana. Hey, slut.
-Mm-mmm.
805
00:42:29,448 --> 00:42:32,382
Let's go in the other room
and talk about whichever war
you lived through.
806
00:42:32,485 --> 00:42:35,627
Okay. Come on, it'll be fun.
I'm sorry. It'll be fun.
807
00:42:35,730 --> 00:42:37,663
Listen,
Loretta Sage is missing.
808
00:42:37,767 --> 00:42:39,976
When I looked at her smartwatch,
it said that she had flown
809
00:42:40,079 --> 00:42:41,736
to some island
I've never even heard about.
810
00:42:41,840 --> 00:42:43,566
That means y'all need
to do something about this.
811
00:42:43,669 --> 00:42:46,051
And if you can't, I will,
and that won't look good
for you.
812
00:42:46,154 --> 00:42:48,881
Pretty sure that's
outside our jurisdiction.
813
00:42:48,985 --> 00:42:52,022
-You'd have to call the Feds.
-Okay.
814
00:42:52,126 --> 00:42:54,507
And if you do go to the Feds,
put in a good word for me.
815
00:42:54,611 --> 00:42:56,993
For me.For us.
816
00:43:02,619 --> 00:43:04,138
Oh, oh.
817
00:43:11,179 --> 00:43:13,423
What are you gonna do,
put the car back together?
818
00:43:13,526 --> 00:43:15,736
Well... we could--
819
00:43:22,777 --> 00:43:25,055
[steam hissing]
820
00:43:31,648 --> 00:43:34,340
Where did you say the phone was?Passenger glove.
821
00:43:34,444 --> 00:43:36,204
What?Passenger glove compartment.
822
00:43:36,308 --> 00:43:37,550
Goodness.
823
00:43:38,655 --> 00:43:40,174
Oh, my God.
824
00:43:40,277 --> 00:43:42,521
Oh, my God. No phone, no car.
We're so gonna die out--
825
00:43:42,625 --> 00:43:44,350
Here.What is this?
826
00:43:44,454 --> 00:43:46,111
Boots for the jungle.
827
00:43:46,974 --> 00:43:48,803
It's not exactly
hiking boots, but...
828
00:43:48,907 --> 00:43:51,564
I figured your feet
would be killing you after
wearing heels for this long.
829
00:43:51,668 --> 00:43:54,015
It was the best we could do.
They're Allison's. Sorry.
830
00:43:54,809 --> 00:43:56,880
Oh. Okay, well, thank you.
831
00:43:56,984 --> 00:43:58,779
Here, oh, I got you cheese.
832
00:43:58,882 --> 00:44:00,677
Oh, my God.You got to stay hydrated.
833
00:44:00,781 --> 00:44:02,748
Thank you so much.They didn't have
glass bottles,
834
00:44:02,852 --> 00:44:04,854
so we'll definitely
hold onto it and recycle.
835
00:44:07,442 --> 00:44:12,137
Okay, so what we need to do
is find a phone, we need
to call the authorities,
836
00:44:12,240 --> 00:44:15,140
and we need to wait here
until somebody comes
and rescues us.
837
00:44:15,243 --> 00:44:18,764
Uh... This...
This is the rescue.
838
00:44:18,868 --> 00:44:20,145
No one else is coming.
839
00:44:20,248 --> 00:44:22,216
I'm sorry?I'm the rescue.
840
00:44:22,319 --> 00:44:25,253
It was originally just
gonna be me, then I was like,
Trainer should come.
841
00:44:25,357 --> 00:44:27,083
Oh, Trainer. Rest in peace.
842
00:44:27,186 --> 00:44:31,432
So, our best bet
is to get to the airport.
See this road right here?
843
00:44:31,535 --> 00:44:34,228
From this area,
just take a shortcut
through the jungle to the road.
844
00:44:34,331 --> 00:44:36,230
Did you just say "shortcut
through the jungle"?
845
00:44:36,333 --> 00:44:37,852
Yeah.Okay, do you see us?
846
00:44:37,956 --> 00:44:40,475
Uh-huh.You are not Dash,
and I'm not Lovemore. Okay?
847
00:44:40,579 --> 00:44:41,994
I'm Loretta, and you are Alan.
848
00:44:42,098 --> 00:44:44,410
And jungles
eat people like us, okay?Eat people.
849
00:44:44,514 --> 00:44:47,828
And I don't want to mess up
the jumpsuit. It's on loan.
So we're gonna stay put.
850
00:44:47,931 --> 00:44:49,864
We're not just gonna
stand around here, okay?
851
00:44:49,968 --> 00:44:51,348
We're gonna go
through the jungle,
852
00:44:51,452 --> 00:44:53,557
we're gonna go to the airport
and find a phone,
853
00:44:53,661 --> 00:44:56,664
-so you can have your cake
and get what you want.
-"And eat it too"?
854
00:44:56,768 --> 00:44:59,218
If that's what you want to do
with your cake, fine. Let's go.
855
00:44:59,322 --> 00:45:01,255
-That's the only thing you do
with cake.
-Not mine.
856
00:45:01,358 --> 00:45:03,809
[Loretta] I don't know
what your people do,
but my people eat it.
857
00:45:03,913 --> 00:45:06,122
[Alan] You could give it
to someone as a gift.
858
00:45:06,225 --> 00:45:08,434
[Loretta] Those people
are still going to eat the cake.
859
00:45:08,538 --> 00:45:10,091
Everybody eats cake.
860
00:45:10,195 --> 00:45:12,024
[Alan] What about the kind
people jump out of?
861
00:45:12,128 --> 00:45:15,062
They don't eat it,
when they're in it.Oh, my God.
862
00:45:41,364 --> 00:45:42,952
[Alan] What did they
kidnap you for anyhow?
863
00:45:43,055 --> 00:45:44,919
Is it some weird sex stuff
like Taken?
864
00:45:45,023 --> 00:45:46,576
[Loretta]
Oh, my God, thank you.
865
00:45:46,679 --> 00:45:49,406
I thought so too,
but the guy's one
of the Fairfaxes.
866
00:45:49,510 --> 00:45:51,339
Beverly?No, the older one.
867
00:45:51,443 --> 00:45:54,895
The really odd one
that had the vlog
on finding Montezuma's treasure.
868
00:45:54,998 --> 00:45:57,414
[Alan]
The dude that was on the news
for trying to raise the Titanic?
869
00:45:57,518 --> 00:45:59,313
[Loretta]
Yes, he's looking for
the Crown of Fire.
870
00:45:59,416 --> 00:46:03,386
Wait a minute. Like the actual
Crown of Fire? Like the one...
871
00:46:03,489 --> 00:46:06,838
So those ruins were--They were
the Lost City of D, yes.
872
00:46:06,941 --> 00:46:09,254
What?
Are you kidding me right now?Shh.
873
00:46:09,357 --> 00:46:10,807
This is like your book.
874
00:46:10,911 --> 00:46:13,741
So we're basically
on a Lovemore and Dash adventure
right now?
875
00:46:13,845 --> 00:46:15,847
[insect buzzing]What is that?
876
00:46:15,950 --> 00:46:18,435
What if Fairfax
actually finds the crown?
877
00:46:18,539 --> 00:46:19,920
He won't. He won't.
878
00:46:20,023 --> 00:46:21,991
[people shouting in distance]
879
00:46:22,094 --> 00:46:23,199
[Loretta] Where do we go?Uh...
880
00:46:23,302 --> 00:46:25,270
[vehicles approaching]Oh, oh, oh.
881
00:46:28,342 --> 00:46:30,482
Okay, uh, we need
to get in the water.
882
00:46:30,585 --> 00:46:32,691
W-What?We need to go by river.
883
00:46:32,795 --> 00:46:34,624
No, no,
I don't really do water.
884
00:46:34,727 --> 00:46:37,075
What do you mean, "do water"?
I'm not asking you
to procreate with it.
885
00:46:37,178 --> 00:46:39,629
Uh, my body and water
don't really go together.
886
00:46:39,732 --> 00:46:42,080
[vehicles in distance]How do you feel about dying?
Oh, God.
887
00:46:42,183 --> 00:46:44,047
Hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You're okay. You're okay.
888
00:46:44,151 --> 00:46:46,981
I got you. Fine.I can swim. I can swim.
Thank you very much.
889
00:46:47,085 --> 00:46:49,156
Where are you going?I'm crossing.
890
00:46:49,259 --> 00:46:51,227
No, we have to stay
in the water.
891
00:46:51,330 --> 00:46:53,781
I researched
aquatic counter-tracking
for my book, A Year in the Bush.
892
00:46:53,885 --> 00:46:55,887
They'll lose our tracks
in the water.
893
00:46:55,990 --> 00:46:58,786
Why is it warm here?
Wait, are you peeing?
894
00:46:58,890 --> 00:47:00,892
Just go around it.
895
00:47:09,521 --> 00:47:11,281
[engines switch off]
896
00:47:29,679 --> 00:47:31,198
[Loretta]
Okay, I think...
897
00:47:31,301 --> 00:47:33,200
I think
we lost them, right?
898
00:47:33,303 --> 00:47:36,306
Yeah. That wasn't so bad.
Yeah.
899
00:47:36,410 --> 00:47:38,067
Okay, uh...
900
00:47:38,170 --> 00:47:40,586
Don't panic.What do you mean, don't panic?
901
00:47:40,690 --> 00:47:41,898
-Just don't panic.
-No.
902
00:47:42,002 --> 00:47:43,762
Stop saying "panic."
I'm panicking now.
903
00:47:43,866 --> 00:47:45,729
You have something
on your back.
904
00:47:47,248 --> 00:47:48,042
[screams] No!
905
00:47:48,146 --> 00:47:49,630
Stop screaming.What is that?
906
00:47:49,733 --> 00:47:50,976
What is that?Stop screaming.
907
00:47:51,080 --> 00:47:52,529
Do you have any on you?No. No.
908
00:47:52,633 --> 00:47:54,083
Why don't you have any
on you?
909
00:47:54,186 --> 00:47:55,981
Maybe the jumpsuit
scared them off.
I don't know.
910
00:47:56,085 --> 00:47:57,603
Get 'em off.Oh, my God.
911
00:47:57,707 --> 00:48:00,227
Okay. No, I can't touch
those blood-gorged mucous sacks.
912
00:48:00,330 --> 00:48:01,780
Can you fling it?Right now.
913
00:48:01,884 --> 00:48:03,264
Get it.Just pick it
and fling it.
914
00:48:03,368 --> 00:48:05,266
Just pick it and fling it.You pick it and fling it!
915
00:48:05,370 --> 00:48:07,441
Can you spin it off?Please, get it off.
916
00:48:07,544 --> 00:48:09,581
I don't like touching it.
I'm feeling faint.
917
00:48:09,684 --> 00:48:12,791
They're sucking my soul out.Okay, okay.
Stop, stop, stop.
918
00:48:12,895 --> 00:48:14,344
[groans]
919
00:48:14,448 --> 00:48:16,691
[gags]
Don't make that sound.[gags]
920
00:48:16,795 --> 00:48:18,383
[gags]
921
00:48:20,281 --> 00:48:21,765
How many of them are there?
922
00:48:21,869 --> 00:48:23,388
Oh, there's not many.
923
00:48:23,491 --> 00:48:25,493
It feels like there's so many.What are you--
924
00:48:25,597 --> 00:48:26,909
I feel so many.Oh!
925
00:48:27,012 --> 00:48:29,566
Holy mother of God!Why are you praying?
926
00:48:29,670 --> 00:48:32,707
Is it that bad?
It can't be that bad.
Is it that bad? How many?
927
00:48:32,811 --> 00:48:34,054
It's not great.
928
00:48:34,157 --> 00:48:35,814
They're gonna suck
every bit of me out.
929
00:48:35,918 --> 00:48:38,575
Just please stop speaking.
I just need to--
need to get low.
930
00:48:38,679 --> 00:48:40,405
Hold on a second.[groans]
931
00:48:40,508 --> 00:48:43,304
Oh, God! I can feel them
just-- they're just
sucking out so much.
932
00:48:43,408 --> 00:48:46,273
I'm gonna be like
a shriveled-up skin sack
when they're done.
933
00:48:46,376 --> 00:48:48,344
You cannot tell my dad
I died this way, okay?
934
00:48:48,447 --> 00:48:52,486
You gotta tell him
I was wrestling an anaconda
with a sword or something.
935
00:48:52,589 --> 00:48:55,385
I'm like a blood Jamba Juice.
They're just sucking it all out.
936
00:48:55,489 --> 00:48:57,111
Why are they all
on my butt though?
937
00:48:57,215 --> 00:48:59,838
Kind of like picking anchovies
off my Caesar salad.
938
00:48:59,942 --> 00:49:01,667
-It's actually not so bad.
-Anchovies?
939
00:49:01,771 --> 00:49:03,359
Why do you go to food
right now?
940
00:49:03,462 --> 00:49:06,327
Just find the queen,
and let's be done with this.
941
00:49:06,431 --> 00:49:08,778
Think you're good.
I need to just check your front.
942
00:49:08,881 --> 00:49:11,125
Okay. I can't look.
943
00:49:13,369 --> 00:49:14,680
Is it bad?
944
00:49:14,784 --> 00:49:17,890
Uh, wow.What is it? Just say it.
945
00:49:17,994 --> 00:49:21,342
I mean, you expect it to,
you know, not...
946
00:49:21,446 --> 00:49:24,173
Then suddenly there it is,
and it is, uh...
947
00:49:24,276 --> 00:49:26,520
You know, you get excited
for a person.What?
948
00:49:26,623 --> 00:49:29,247
I mean,
I'm excited for all people.Why are you excited?
949
00:49:29,350 --> 00:49:31,663
Well, you know, people
wonder, they wonder,
950
00:49:31,766 --> 00:49:33,389
but they don't know, right?
951
00:49:33,492 --> 00:49:35,978
They don't,
until suddenly they do know,
952
00:49:36,081 --> 00:49:40,396
and then they--
they know something
that wasn't known before.
953
00:49:40,499 --> 00:49:42,363
Just--
Do I have any leeches or not?
954
00:49:42,467 --> 00:49:46,574
Oh, your plucky warrior hangs
in tranquil solitude.
955
00:49:46,678 --> 00:49:47,782
What?
956
00:49:47,886 --> 00:49:50,026
No, you're good.
You're good.
957
00:49:51,165 --> 00:49:52,891
We were so brave just then.
958
00:49:52,995 --> 00:49:55,238
Why do they go for the butt
so much?
959
00:50:07,906 --> 00:50:10,874
[singing in Spanish]
960
00:50:12,083 --> 00:50:14,464
[insect buzzing]
961
00:50:16,535 --> 00:50:19,400
What's that song
you're singing?
962
00:50:19,504 --> 00:50:22,507
A song
my abbiused to sing to me
when I was a kid.
963
00:50:23,473 --> 00:50:26,131
"If you suck life
from the island...Yeah?
964
00:50:26,235 --> 00:50:29,031
...the island
will suck of you."
965
00:50:29,134 --> 00:50:33,069
Your grandma sang you songs
about getting sucked off
by an island?
966
00:50:33,173 --> 00:50:35,520
It doesn't translate
super well.
967
00:50:36,417 --> 00:50:39,248
Is phantom leech syndrome,
like, a thing?
968
00:50:39,351 --> 00:50:41,353
They don't lay eggs,
do they?
969
00:51:30,471 --> 00:51:31,679
Queen Taha?
970
00:51:45,279 --> 00:51:49,663
"King Kalaman
and his treasure laid to rest...
971
00:51:50,595 --> 00:51:54,254
laid to rest
in the well of endless tears.
972
00:51:54,357 --> 00:51:56,290
Laid to rest in
the well of endless tears."
973
00:51:56,394 --> 00:51:58,258
What does that mean?[Alan] Loretta!
974
00:51:58,948 --> 00:52:00,674
You gave me
a heart attack.
975
00:52:01,364 --> 00:52:03,021
Where'd you go?
976
00:52:07,094 --> 00:52:08,647
What is this?
977
00:52:08,751 --> 00:52:11,995
I'm not sure,
but maybe they gathered here?
978
00:52:14,550 --> 00:52:17,208
Can you imagine
being right here,
979
00:52:17,311 --> 00:52:19,969
right in this very spot
back then?
980
00:52:20,072 --> 00:52:21,798
The stories
that they told?
981
00:52:21,902 --> 00:52:24,663
So much history I'm sure
happened right here.
982
00:52:29,979 --> 00:52:31,360
[Loretta]
They've got us cornered.
983
00:52:31,463 --> 00:52:33,155
Okay. We've got to go up.
Come on.What?
984
00:52:33,258 --> 00:52:36,365
Have you seen what I'm wearing?
I'm in a glitter straitjacket.
985
00:52:36,468 --> 00:52:39,437
There's nowhere to go but up.
Come on. Let's go.
986
00:52:39,540 --> 00:52:43,095
[Loretta]
Oh! I should not be doing this.
I'm too old for this.
987
00:52:43,199 --> 00:52:44,304
No, you're not.
You're beautiful.
988
00:52:44,407 --> 00:52:46,064
I didn't say I'm not beautiful.
989
00:52:46,168 --> 00:52:48,066
I said I'm too old
to be doing this.
990
00:52:48,170 --> 00:52:51,794
My skill is sitting and thinking
and eating when I can't think.
991
00:52:51,897 --> 00:52:54,314
Yeah, you definitely
could be wearing
better shoes for this.
992
00:52:54,417 --> 00:52:56,316
You brought me
these shoes.
993
00:52:56,419 --> 00:52:58,973
I can't go any further.
I can't go any further.
994
00:52:59,077 --> 00:53:00,803
I'm not doing
so great here.
995
00:53:00,906 --> 00:53:02,322
You got it. Come on.
996
00:53:02,425 --> 00:53:04,289
I know you think
that you're safer holding on,
997
00:53:04,393 --> 00:53:05,670
but you have to keep going.
998
00:53:05,773 --> 00:53:07,672
I can't. I can't, I can't.Okay?
999
00:53:08,466 --> 00:53:09,915
Do you smell that?Smell what?
1000
00:53:10,019 --> 00:53:11,779
I smell something.Is it a predator?
What is it?
1001
00:53:11,883 --> 00:53:13,816
A downward cascading fire?You got to smell deeper.
1002
00:53:13,919 --> 00:53:15,093
I don't smell anything!
1003
00:53:15,197 --> 00:53:18,407
[both breathing deeply]
1004
00:53:18,510 --> 00:53:21,755
Take a big, deep breath.[breathing deeply]
1005
00:53:21,858 --> 00:53:23,170
All right.
1006
00:53:23,274 --> 00:53:24,896
Good job.Okay.
1007
00:53:24,999 --> 00:53:28,624
That was manipulative.
Thank you.Yeah, it was.
1008
00:53:28,727 --> 00:53:31,213
Here we go. I'm gonna
help you out a little bit,
all right?
1009
00:53:31,316 --> 00:53:33,387
-One, two, three... Here we go!
-What are you doing?
1010
00:53:33,491 --> 00:53:34,871
Get out of there.Come on.
1011
00:53:34,975 --> 00:53:37,046
No, no, don't flex.That's my hoo-hoo.
1012
00:53:37,149 --> 00:53:40,083
Just ride the head.
Keep the hands moving
and ride the head.
1013
00:53:40,187 --> 00:53:41,499
Oh, God.You're doing great.
1014
00:53:41,602 --> 00:53:44,260
Sorry about
the scratchy haircut.
Come on.
1015
00:54:04,349 --> 00:54:06,593
Dulcius ex asperis.
1016
00:54:07,179 --> 00:54:08,560
What was that?
1017
00:54:08,664 --> 00:54:10,182
Oh, nothing.
1018
00:54:10,286 --> 00:54:12,530
It was just something
that John and I would say
1019
00:54:12,633 --> 00:54:15,774
after we finished
something big, like a...
1020
00:54:15,878 --> 00:54:17,845
like an archaeological dig
or a manuscript.
1021
00:54:17,949 --> 00:54:21,263
It's Latin. It means
"sweeter after difficulty."
1022
00:54:22,402 --> 00:54:23,782
What's...
1023
00:54:23,886 --> 00:54:25,819
What's Latin
for "Loretta's a badass"?
1024
00:54:25,922 --> 00:54:30,410
[laughs] I am a badass.
I climbed a mountain.
1025
00:54:30,513 --> 00:54:33,482
Oh, my God. I wish Beth
could've seen us do this.
1026
00:54:33,585 --> 00:54:36,416
Oh, God. Beth.Don't worry about Beth.
1027
00:54:36,519 --> 00:54:40,005
She's probably got
the whole navy
after us right now.
1028
00:54:40,109 --> 00:54:43,181
[Allison] I get that you think
you have to go to the island
authorities yourself,
1029
00:54:43,285 --> 00:54:46,702
but don't worry, I'm keeping
Loretta's socials super active.
1030
00:54:46,805 --> 00:54:49,187
Just tweeted,
"Did I just get kidnapped?
1031
00:54:49,291 --> 00:54:52,811
#FML, @ShawnMendes,
#ShawnMendes."
1032
00:54:52,915 --> 00:54:54,572
[ticket agent]
And you're traveling alone?
1033
00:54:54,675 --> 00:54:57,506
Yes, I'm traveling alone.
Mm-hmm. I'm single.
1034
00:54:58,092 --> 00:54:59,301
Then this might work.
1035
00:54:59,404 --> 00:55:01,233
Okay! Talk to me.You'll hit New York.
1036
00:55:01,337 --> 00:55:04,858
From there, you'll fly
to Guinea, where you can
pick up a puddle jumper.
1037
00:55:04,961 --> 00:55:06,031
A what?
1038
00:55:06,963 --> 00:55:08,448
Small plane.[Allison] Yeah, no leg room.
1039
00:55:08,551 --> 00:55:09,725
That's fine. I'll take it.
1040
00:55:09,828 --> 00:55:11,865
Or you could just come home.Thank you.
1041
00:55:19,735 --> 00:55:22,220
We need something
more flammable.
Everything is just so wet.
1042
00:55:22,324 --> 00:55:23,842
What's in here?
What's in your bag?
1043
00:55:23,946 --> 00:55:25,810
Uh...Oh, a lot. Okay.
1044
00:55:25,913 --> 00:55:27,363
What are you doing?
1045
00:55:27,467 --> 00:55:29,331
Okay. Face masks.
1046
00:55:29,434 --> 00:55:30,849
Yeah, that was like
a gift-basket thing.
1047
00:55:30,953 --> 00:55:32,920
You brought a scented candle
into the jungle?
1048
00:55:33,024 --> 00:55:34,301
My mom gave me that.
1049
00:55:34,405 --> 00:55:35,958
It was like a weird gift
for Mother's Day.
1050
00:55:36,061 --> 00:55:38,340
Your mom gives you gifts
for Mother's Day?
1051
00:55:39,651 --> 00:55:40,445
Noir--
1052
00:55:40,549 --> 00:55:42,516
Eucalyptus rosemary oil.
Ooh.
1053
00:55:43,103 --> 00:55:44,380
Oh, that smells good.
1054
00:55:44,484 --> 00:55:46,658
Um-- Oh, okay. All right.
1055
00:55:46,762 --> 00:55:48,384
Whoo! Yes!
1056
00:55:48,488 --> 00:55:50,938
Yes, I made fire!
1057
00:55:51,042 --> 00:55:54,597
-That's pretty impressive.
You have to--
-It is a beautiful fire.
1058
00:55:54,701 --> 00:55:56,634
[Loretta]
Who would have thought?
1059
00:55:56,737 --> 00:55:59,222
Oh, you're just, um,
taking your shirt off?
1060
00:56:00,327 --> 00:56:02,364
That looks
really uncomfortable.
1061
00:56:02,467 --> 00:56:04,366
Are you okay? The back?
1062
00:56:04,469 --> 00:56:08,542
Yeah. That is why
I don't do water.
1063
00:56:08,646 --> 00:56:10,924
Okay.My body becomes
an eighth-grader's face.
1064
00:56:11,027 --> 00:56:13,892
Do you have anything for it?
Like some ointment or something?
1065
00:56:13,996 --> 00:56:15,894
Yeah, I do. Well, I did.
1066
00:56:15,998 --> 00:56:18,069
It was in a little,
tiny little bottle.
1067
00:56:18,172 --> 00:56:20,140
It was this. I'm sorry.
1068
00:56:20,243 --> 00:56:22,280
Oh, God, I'm sorry.
1069
00:56:22,384 --> 00:56:23,730
It's okay.
1070
00:56:23,833 --> 00:56:26,146
-Hold on. Yes.
Come here. Come here.
-What?
1071
00:56:26,249 --> 00:56:28,666
-Come here. Sit down.
-Let me see.
1072
00:56:28,769 --> 00:56:30,253
Just sit down.Right here?
1073
00:56:30,357 --> 00:56:31,565
Yeah.
1074
00:56:32,773 --> 00:56:34,396
Okay.
1075
00:56:34,499 --> 00:56:36,363
Oh, no,
you don't have to touch it.
It's okay. It's fine.
1076
00:56:36,467 --> 00:56:38,469
I touched
your engorged sacks, so...
1077
00:56:38,572 --> 00:56:40,574
[snorts][both laugh]
1078
00:56:40,678 --> 00:56:42,404
The leeches.Oh, okay.
1079
00:56:42,507 --> 00:56:45,303
Okay, this might be
a little bit cold.
1080
00:56:46,477 --> 00:56:48,202
Sorry.Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm.
1081
00:56:48,306 --> 00:56:49,583
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
1082
00:56:49,687 --> 00:56:51,654
Maybe this is how
Dash should die.
1083
00:56:51,758 --> 00:56:54,795
Horrible eczema outbreak.
That's so sexy.
1084
00:56:54,899 --> 00:56:56,418
I could make it work.
1085
00:56:56,866 --> 00:56:57,902
Yeah?
1086
00:56:58,558 --> 00:57:00,007
All right, then.
1087
00:57:01,284 --> 00:57:03,010
How would you write this?
1088
00:57:03,114 --> 00:57:04,598
Okay.
1089
00:57:06,497 --> 00:57:09,810
"Warmed
by the fragrant fire..."
1090
00:57:09,914 --> 00:57:12,364
Mm-hmm. [chuckles]
1091
00:57:12,468 --> 00:57:14,366
Starting strong.Mm-hmm.
1092
00:57:14,470 --> 00:57:17,577
"Lovemore's hands
explored the...
1093
00:57:19,337 --> 00:57:21,822
the contoured scenery
1094
00:57:21,926 --> 00:57:23,514
of Dash's body.
1095
00:57:25,654 --> 00:57:28,346
Familiar terrain made
1096
00:57:28,450 --> 00:57:30,797
new and exciting
with every...
1097
00:57:31,729 --> 00:57:34,076
with every scarlet rim."
1098
00:57:35,180 --> 00:57:36,872
And that didn't, uh...
1099
00:57:37,700 --> 00:57:39,219
didn't turn her off?
1100
00:57:39,322 --> 00:57:40,531
No.
1101
00:57:41,359 --> 00:57:43,188
"Because with every
cardinal ridge,
1102
00:57:44,189 --> 00:57:46,606
Lovemore discovered
another letter in the language
1103
00:57:46,709 --> 00:57:48,815
that only their bodies spoke."
1104
00:57:49,850 --> 00:57:51,887
And what were
their bodies saying?
1105
00:57:53,854 --> 00:57:55,407
"Take me...
1106
00:57:57,306 --> 00:57:58,928
take me,
1107
00:57:59,515 --> 00:58:01,206
take me."
1108
00:58:01,310 --> 00:58:02,622
How's that?
1109
00:58:03,450 --> 00:58:04,727
It was good.
1110
00:58:04,831 --> 00:58:06,557
Your back.
I mean, how is your back?Good.
1111
00:58:06,660 --> 00:58:08,075
Okay. You sure?Yeah.
1112
00:58:08,179 --> 00:58:12,735
I also meant my back.
Right there, yeah.Okay.
1113
00:58:20,985 --> 00:58:22,020
Supplies.
1114
00:58:24,160 --> 00:58:28,440
Okay, I'm chilly. I think
I'm gonna probably turn in
in a little bit.
1115
00:58:28,544 --> 00:58:29,752
Okay.You good?
1116
00:58:29,856 --> 00:58:32,514
Yeah, I'm fire-- fine.
I'm fine.
1117
00:58:32,617 --> 00:58:35,551
I'm not "fire."
I'm fine by the fire.
1118
00:58:36,241 --> 00:58:37,967
Okay. All right.
1119
00:58:45,872 --> 00:58:49,185
Uh, it's up to you,
but if you're cold,
1120
00:58:49,289 --> 00:58:53,500
maybe we could probably
both fit in here,
if you wanted to.
1121
00:58:54,156 --> 00:58:55,882
Both of us?
1122
00:58:55,985 --> 00:58:59,023
Only if you want to.
I mean, it's just--Yeah, no, that sounds...
1123
00:58:59,126 --> 00:59:00,611
Uh...
1124
00:59:00,714 --> 00:59:02,095
Okay. How do you...
1125
00:59:02,198 --> 00:59:04,166
You can go first,
then I'll figure it out.
1126
00:59:04,269 --> 00:59:07,410
No, no, you go.
It's definitely a "ladies first"
type of situation.
1127
00:59:07,514 --> 00:59:10,172
Keep hands out of the bag
at all times.That's what I was gonna do.
1128
00:59:10,275 --> 00:59:11,932
Butt to butt.Hands out and butt to butt.
1129
00:59:12,036 --> 00:59:15,349
Yeah. What do I do?Just get in. Go ahead and sit.
1130
00:59:15,453 --> 00:59:18,145
I sit first?
Okay. I'm in.
1131
00:59:19,699 --> 00:59:22,287
You're too heavy.
You're gonna flip this thing
like a cruise ship.
1132
00:59:22,391 --> 00:59:25,049
[chuckling]
You watch yourself.
Hold on. I'm not in.
1133
00:59:25,152 --> 00:59:28,328
Why is this engaging
my core so much? [laughs]
1134
00:59:29,122 --> 00:59:31,020
[Loretta]
How 'bout you shimmy?
1135
00:59:31,124 --> 00:59:33,229
I can't breathe.
I'm not breathing.Are you good?
1136
00:59:33,333 --> 00:59:34,645
My face.
1137
00:59:35,231 --> 00:59:36,474
[Loretta] Yeah. Okay.
1138
00:59:36,578 --> 00:59:39,477
[sighs, chuckles]
1139
00:59:39,581 --> 00:59:41,065
[Alan]
Hands are out. Butt to butt.
1140
00:59:41,168 --> 00:59:42,204
[Loretta] Okay.
1141
00:59:51,316 --> 00:59:54,043
[vehicle approaches]
1142
01:00:13,407 --> 01:00:14,995
Well!
1143
01:00:15,099 --> 01:00:16,238
Come on.
1144
01:00:16,341 --> 01:00:17,998
Come on! Let's hear it!
1145
01:00:18,102 --> 01:00:21,588
Let's give
a nice round of applause
to Loretta!
1146
01:00:21,692 --> 01:00:23,314
She earned it.
1147
01:00:23,417 --> 01:00:27,283
A geriatric shut-in
left you holding your dicks
in the jungle.
1148
01:00:27,387 --> 01:00:28,768
Good job, Loretta.
1149
01:00:28,871 --> 01:00:31,391
Boss, come on.
People are dying now.
1150
01:00:31,494 --> 01:00:35,153
Don't you think that maybe
this has all gone too far?
1151
01:00:36,396 --> 01:00:38,122
Is it really worth it?
1152
01:00:38,225 --> 01:00:41,608
I am on the cusp
of attaining the unattainable.
1153
01:00:41,712 --> 01:00:44,715
Something singular,
something no nation,
1154
01:00:44,818 --> 01:00:48,408
no emperor,
no brownnosing brothers
ever have.
1155
01:00:48,511 --> 01:00:51,618
The legendary Crown of Fire.
1156
01:00:52,067 --> 01:00:53,206
So, yes.
1157
01:00:53,309 --> 01:00:55,622
Yes, I would definitely say
it's worth it.
1158
01:00:55,726 --> 01:00:58,004
[motorcycles revving]
1159
01:01:05,356 --> 01:01:06,875
Excuse me!
1160
01:01:06,978 --> 01:01:09,878
Excuse me, sir. I need to get
to my next connecting flight.
1161
01:01:09,981 --> 01:01:11,327
No flight.
1162
01:01:11,431 --> 01:01:14,020
The pilot is sick.
Come tomorrow.
1163
01:01:14,123 --> 01:01:16,263
No, no, sir.
I cannot come tomorrow.
I need to do this today.
1164
01:01:16,367 --> 01:01:21,096
I need to get to the island
Isla Hundida tonight.
Lives are at stake.
1165
01:01:21,199 --> 01:01:22,684
Come tomorrow.
1166
01:01:26,515 --> 01:01:28,206
Excuse me, miss?Yes?
1167
01:01:28,310 --> 01:01:32,383
I couldn't help but overhear
you say that you like steak.
1168
01:01:32,486 --> 01:01:35,766
Okay, this is
a little bit crazy,
1169
01:01:35,869 --> 01:01:37,664
but I also like steak.
1170
01:01:37,768 --> 01:01:40,115
What?I also like steak.
1171
01:01:40,218 --> 01:01:43,670
Would you like to, maybe,
I don't know...
1172
01:01:43,774 --> 01:01:46,604
-Maybe there's a--
-No. "Lives are at stake."
1173
01:01:46,708 --> 01:01:48,468
I need to go
to the island tonight.
1174
01:01:48,571 --> 01:01:49,987
Ah.Yes.
1175
01:01:50,090 --> 01:01:51,678
Even more serious.Extremely.
1176
01:01:51,782 --> 01:01:54,785
Well, I believe
that I may be able
to assist you.
1177
01:01:54,888 --> 01:01:56,821
I have a cargo plane.
1178
01:01:57,995 --> 01:02:01,688
Maybe after I make my delivery,
we could swing by your island.
1179
01:02:01,792 --> 01:02:04,587
I'm about to ask you something,
and you better
tell me the truth.
1180
01:02:04,691 --> 01:02:06,555
Have you ever
murdered anyone before?
1181
01:02:06,658 --> 01:02:09,903
[laughs] No!
1182
01:02:13,493 --> 01:02:16,220
I don't know if I really buy it,
but let me tell you something.
1183
01:02:16,323 --> 01:02:20,569
If you ever think about
murdering me, I promise,
I will murder you first.
1184
01:02:20,672 --> 01:02:22,019
My pleasure.
1185
01:02:22,122 --> 01:02:24,262
You are weird. Let's go.
1186
01:03:19,662 --> 01:03:23,080
"King Kalaman and his treasure
laid to rest in the well
1187
01:03:23,735 --> 01:03:25,151
of endless tears."
1188
01:03:26,842 --> 01:03:28,016
[Alan] What is that?
1189
01:03:29,189 --> 01:03:32,641
Oh, it's a-- it's a thing.
I mean, it's not, uh...
1190
01:03:32,744 --> 01:03:34,988
You know, it's not
what you think it is.
1191
01:03:35,092 --> 01:03:38,889
So it's not Fairfax's fragment
of an ancient parchment?
1192
01:03:38,992 --> 01:03:42,789
Okay.
It's what you think it is.
1193
01:03:42,893 --> 01:03:44,342
Loretta, I thought
you were smarter than that.
1194
01:03:44,446 --> 01:03:47,242
Fairfax is never
gonna stop hunting us now.
1195
01:03:47,345 --> 01:03:48,346
What were you thinking?
1196
01:03:48,450 --> 01:03:50,417
We have a volcano
that could bury the tomb
1197
01:03:50,521 --> 01:03:54,076
before we get to it,
before we see it,
before we preserve its memory.
1198
01:03:54,180 --> 01:03:56,113
This is--I'm sorry.
Is that what we're doing?
1199
01:03:56,216 --> 01:03:58,736
'Cause no one told me.
When were you gonna tell me?
1200
01:03:58,840 --> 01:04:00,255
Why would I tell you?
1201
01:04:00,358 --> 01:04:02,188
We're in this together.
I came here to rescue you.
1202
01:04:02,291 --> 01:04:03,983
You know you're not Dash,
right?
1203
01:04:04,086 --> 01:04:06,330
You don't ride in
on a white horse
to rescue people.
1204
01:04:06,433 --> 01:04:10,713
You... spray yourself
with bronzer and you stand
in front of wind machines,
1205
01:04:10,817 --> 01:04:12,336
which is great for you.
1206
01:04:12,439 --> 01:04:15,097
How would you have any idea
what I'm actually like?
1207
01:04:15,201 --> 01:04:18,135
I know you. You're
a pretty open book, Alan.
1208
01:04:18,238 --> 01:04:20,033
-Okay, then who am I?
-Really?
1209
01:04:20,137 --> 01:04:21,172
Yeah.
1210
01:04:23,243 --> 01:04:25,452
O-- Okay, uh...
1211
01:04:25,556 --> 01:04:28,662
You were a homecoming king
and you coasted
on your good looks to LA,
1212
01:04:28,766 --> 01:04:31,286
but then realized that being
the most handsome kid
in the middle of nowhere
1213
01:04:31,389 --> 01:04:33,115
doesn't mean
you're going to be a star.
1214
01:04:33,219 --> 01:04:35,048
Until one day, when a woman
who couldn't publish her book
1215
01:04:35,152 --> 01:04:38,741
on Spanish colonization
in the Atlantic decided
to write a romance novel,
1216
01:04:38,845 --> 01:04:40,778
uh, chose you at random
to be on the cover.
1217
01:04:40,882 --> 01:04:44,299
Lucky for you and her,
the novels were
a smashing success.
1218
01:04:44,402 --> 01:04:47,405
She kept writing her schlock,
you kept posing,
1219
01:04:47,509 --> 01:04:52,963
um, you know,
neither one of us becoming
who we'd hoped we would be.
1220
01:04:53,066 --> 01:04:57,174
Uh, and then one day,
we both die in the jungle
1221
01:04:57,277 --> 01:05:01,178
on one of those Atlantic islands
I wrote about
all those years ago.
1222
01:05:01,281 --> 01:05:02,317
Right?
1223
01:05:03,663 --> 01:05:04,975
Mm-hmm.
1224
01:05:16,262 --> 01:05:17,988
It was Sarasota, by the way.
1225
01:05:18,505 --> 01:05:20,093
It's not nowhere.
1226
01:05:20,197 --> 01:05:22,440
I grew up there with
my mom and two sisters.
1227
01:05:22,544 --> 01:05:23,579
And yeah...
1228
01:05:24,580 --> 01:05:27,273
I started modeling
'cause I wanted to get away.
1229
01:05:27,376 --> 01:05:29,309
It was the only job
that I could think of
1230
01:05:29,413 --> 01:05:32,657
that could take me
to all of the places
that I always dreamed of going.
1231
01:05:32,761 --> 01:05:34,073
Then finally to Los Angeles,
1232
01:05:34,176 --> 01:05:36,938
where I posed on the cover
of your romance novel.
1233
01:05:37,041 --> 01:05:39,941
And I was so embarrassed
that one of my friends
might've seen me
1234
01:05:40,044 --> 01:05:42,184
in that wig
on the cover of your book
1235
01:05:42,288 --> 01:05:44,946
that I avoided talking to them
for months.
1236
01:05:45,912 --> 01:05:47,396
And then one day,
1237
01:05:48,121 --> 01:05:49,985
I'm walking home,
1238
01:05:50,089 --> 01:05:52,884
and I hear this lady yell,
"Dash!"
1239
01:05:52,988 --> 01:05:55,508
[laughing]
She runs up,
and she is so happy.
1240
01:05:55,611 --> 01:05:59,374
Then I thought,
"How could I be this embarrassed
1241
01:05:59,477 --> 01:06:02,170
about something
that makes people this happy?"
1242
01:06:05,518 --> 01:06:07,209
Loretta, you can do
whatever you want.
1243
01:06:07,313 --> 01:06:09,418
If you don't want to
write anymore,
don't write.
1244
01:06:09,522 --> 01:06:14,009
But don't minimize the people
that love your work
by calling it schlock.
1245
01:06:14,113 --> 01:06:16,667
That's not fair to them.
1246
01:06:17,875 --> 01:06:20,774
You know what's ironic?
I thought you of all people
would know
1247
01:06:20,878 --> 01:06:23,329
not to judge a book
by its cover.
1248
01:06:27,402 --> 01:06:29,991
Judge a book
by its cover model.
1249
01:06:50,908 --> 01:06:53,083
[faint rumble]
1250
01:07:01,470 --> 01:07:02,644
[whispers] Alan?
1251
01:07:02,747 --> 01:07:04,025
Alan.[vehicle approaches]
1252
01:07:10,652 --> 01:07:11,963
[motorbike revs]
1253
01:07:12,861 --> 01:07:15,036
[Loretta panting]
1254
01:07:16,002 --> 01:07:17,348
There's two of them.
1255
01:07:23,458 --> 01:07:26,150
Loretta! I'm over here!Alan!
1256
01:07:27,220 --> 01:07:30,292
Alan! Motorcycles and guns,
motorcycles and guns!
1257
01:07:30,396 --> 01:07:32,536
[gunfire]Come on, this way!
1258
01:07:32,639 --> 01:07:34,262
[Alan] Stop shooting!
1259
01:07:39,508 --> 01:07:41,476
Just give 'em the parchment!I can't.
1260
01:07:41,579 --> 01:07:44,237
Yes, you can, actually.
You just say, "Here,"
and throw it at 'em.
1261
01:07:44,341 --> 01:07:46,653
Right. And then I'm sure
they'll happily let us go.
1262
01:07:46,757 --> 01:07:48,759
Okay, keep down.How do they keep finding us?
1263
01:07:48,862 --> 01:07:51,348
You're basically
a walking disco ball.We need to come up with a plan.
1264
01:07:51,451 --> 01:07:52,521
I have an idea.
1265
01:07:52,625 --> 01:07:54,075
We're gonna dig a hole,
throw our voices.
1266
01:07:54,178 --> 01:07:56,111
"We're over here."
Can you sound like a bird?
1267
01:07:56,215 --> 01:07:58,527
No, I have a plan.Alan, please, I'm thinking.
1268
01:07:58,631 --> 01:08:02,324
I know, but I have a plan.Please, just let me think
about...
1269
01:08:02,428 --> 01:08:06,052
Wait a minute.
They're shooting at you.Yeah, that's why we're hiding.
1270
01:08:06,156 --> 01:08:08,468
No. No, no, no.
They're shooting only at you.
1271
01:08:08,572 --> 01:08:11,092
They won't shoot me.
It's my brain that's valuable.
1272
01:08:11,195 --> 01:08:15,061
What? I don't think
you actually hear the things
you say sometimes.
1273
01:08:15,165 --> 01:08:17,857
Maybe I can shield you.You are not shielding me.
1274
01:08:17,960 --> 01:08:20,204
I should be shielding you.Why? Because I'm a woman?
1275
01:08:20,308 --> 01:08:23,380
That's supremely sexist.Well, look, I don't think
using women as human shields
1276
01:08:23,483 --> 01:08:26,210
is exactly the change
that Gloria Seinfeld
had in mind, do you?
1277
01:08:26,314 --> 01:08:29,144
Gloria Steinem?Whatever. Her too.
You know what? Fine.
1278
01:08:29,248 --> 01:08:32,320
Please mansplain sexism
to me right now.Oh, my God. I am a woman.
1279
01:08:32,423 --> 01:08:34,529
I can't mansplain anything.
1280
01:08:34,632 --> 01:08:39,361
Uh, I'm a feminist,
and I think a woman can do
anything a man can do.
1281
01:08:39,465 --> 01:08:41,915
We just need to stay here
until they get tired.I have an idea.
1282
01:08:42,019 --> 01:08:43,710
Please can I tell you
my plan?Alan!
1283
01:08:43,814 --> 01:08:47,128
This is not a situation
you can get out of
by ripping your shirt off.
1284
01:08:47,231 --> 01:08:49,164
Not my shirt.
1285
01:09:20,609 --> 01:09:21,921
[Loretta] Three!
1286
01:09:22,024 --> 01:09:23,612
-Yes!
-Oh!
1287
01:09:27,720 --> 01:09:29,584
[crashing]Oh.
1288
01:09:29,687 --> 01:09:32,932
That was different
than I had in my head.
1289
01:09:33,035 --> 01:09:37,108
I just wanted us to stop them.Could it have been the wind
that made it do that?
1290
01:09:37,212 --> 01:09:39,318
No, I think it was us.
I think... we did it.
1291
01:09:39,421 --> 01:09:41,837
We did the one guy, right?
But that was, like--
1292
01:09:41,941 --> 01:09:45,289
We just wanted him to stop.
But I think the other guy
could've moved, really.
1293
01:09:45,393 --> 01:09:47,533
So, that was--
that one was on him.
1294
01:09:47,636 --> 01:09:50,501
Even if we weren't here,
that could've happened.
1295
01:09:50,605 --> 01:09:52,331
Why are you gonna stop
next to a cliff?
1296
01:09:52,434 --> 01:09:54,885
They were wearing helmets,
so maybe they're...
1297
01:09:54,988 --> 01:09:57,163
But the rest of their body
didn't have a helmet.
1298
01:09:57,267 --> 01:09:58,475
So there'd just be a head.
1299
01:09:58,578 --> 01:10:00,856
They were driving
recklessly, right?
1300
01:10:00,960 --> 01:10:02,686
Don't be mean on a bike.
1301
01:10:03,376 --> 01:10:05,136
Don't do mean stuff on a bike.
1302
01:10:08,933 --> 01:10:11,177
I mean,
perhaps they're fine.
1303
01:10:11,281 --> 01:10:13,697
Yeah, probably not.
But that's okay.
1304
01:10:13,800 --> 01:10:18,080
That's all right.
You know, things happen.
Let's go.
1305
01:10:20,290 --> 01:10:23,465
-You gonna put it back together?
-It's on loan.
1306
01:10:25,916 --> 01:10:27,711
[squawking, bleating]
1307
01:10:36,271 --> 01:10:38,584
Look at me.Okay.
1308
01:10:39,481 --> 01:10:41,518
What more can I do,
you know?
1309
01:10:41,621 --> 01:10:43,554
You've done so much already,
Beth.
1310
01:10:43,658 --> 01:10:46,695
My poor, sweet, little Nana
has lost her sight.
1311
01:10:46,799 --> 01:10:49,526
The book release
is a complete disaster,
1312
01:10:49,629 --> 01:10:51,286
which I've leveraged
everything on,
1313
01:10:51,390 --> 01:10:53,737
so I'm probably,
most definitely
broke right now.
1314
01:10:53,840 --> 01:10:57,085
And most importantly,
I've lost a writer.
1315
01:10:57,188 --> 01:10:58,742
Who does that?
Who loses a writer?
1316
01:10:58,845 --> 01:11:03,367
Okay, Beth, you remind me
of my best friend, Randy.
1317
01:11:03,471 --> 01:11:05,956
Always looking out
for other people,
1318
01:11:06,059 --> 01:11:08,407
never taking care of herself.
1319
01:11:09,408 --> 01:11:10,823
Isn't that right, Randy?
1320
01:11:10,926 --> 01:11:13,239
[goat bleats][chuckles]
1321
01:11:13,343 --> 01:11:15,206
She's like my therapist,
this one over here.
1322
01:11:15,310 --> 01:11:17,416
LOL. "Laughing Out Loud."
1323
01:11:17,519 --> 01:11:19,487
After you take care
of your friend,
1324
01:11:20,384 --> 01:11:21,730
how about we go to a beach?
1325
01:11:21,834 --> 01:11:24,319
What?Look, I have a pickup
in Hawaii.
1326
01:11:24,423 --> 01:11:26,390
She doesn't have to come.
1327
01:11:26,494 --> 01:11:29,290
-[bleats]
-Okay! Okay, you can come!
1328
01:11:29,393 --> 01:11:31,395
[laughs] She's hilarious.
1329
01:11:32,189 --> 01:11:34,018
Let me ask you something.
1330
01:11:34,122 --> 01:11:36,227
We're all sitting here
chitchatting,
but who's flying the plane?
1331
01:11:36,331 --> 01:11:38,264
Autopilot.What?
1332
01:11:38,368 --> 01:11:41,094
Sir, go to the cockpit,
fly the plane.
1333
01:11:41,543 --> 01:11:42,544
Okay.
1334
01:11:43,304 --> 01:11:45,064
I'm going to
go land the plane.
1335
01:11:45,167 --> 01:11:46,617
Okay.
1336
01:11:46,721 --> 01:11:48,619
No, no, no. Take the goat.
Please, take the goat.
1337
01:11:48,723 --> 01:11:51,381
She's on break.
Enjoy the flight!
1338
01:11:52,761 --> 01:11:54,211
[bleats]
1339
01:12:15,370 --> 01:12:18,200
[music playing on speakers]
1340
01:12:26,795 --> 01:12:28,141
Hi.Hola.
1341
01:12:32,594 --> 01:12:35,286
This English dude came in
and basically kidnapped her.
1342
01:12:35,390 --> 01:12:37,323
[line ringing]
1343
01:12:37,427 --> 01:12:40,740
Hey, it's Beth.
Please leave a message,
and I'll get right back to you.
1344
01:12:40,844 --> 01:12:43,709
[beeps]Uh, hi, Beth.
1345
01:12:43,812 --> 01:12:44,813
It's me.
1346
01:12:44,917 --> 01:12:46,746
Uh, I'm alive!
1347
01:12:47,471 --> 01:12:49,508
Uh, listen, um...
1348
01:12:50,819 --> 01:12:51,855
Uh...
1349
01:12:53,304 --> 01:12:57,412
I'm sorry that I
blew up the book tour.
1350
01:12:57,516 --> 01:12:59,241
Um...
1351
01:12:59,345 --> 01:13:01,727
I was just afraid
1352
01:13:02,866 --> 01:13:04,523
and selfish. Uh--
1353
01:13:04,626 --> 01:13:07,353
Oh, here comes Alan.
I'll call you back.
1354
01:13:07,457 --> 01:13:08,941
[puts down receiver]
1355
01:13:10,529 --> 01:13:13,532
So, uh, police
are searching for Fairfax,
1356
01:13:13,635 --> 01:13:16,086
and they're gonna provide us
protection while we're here.
1357
01:13:16,189 --> 01:13:18,019
Did they say
how long we'd be here?
1358
01:13:18,122 --> 01:13:20,780
They're gonna try to get us
on a puddle jumper
later this evening.
1359
01:13:20,884 --> 01:13:23,093
But, uh,
they said in the meantime,
the inn is really nice,
1360
01:13:23,196 --> 01:13:25,785
and we can get cleaned up
and maybe a change of clothes.
1361
01:13:25,889 --> 01:13:27,304
Okay.
1362
01:13:30,756 --> 01:13:32,309
Okay. Yeah.
1363
01:13:55,021 --> 01:13:57,299
[chattering]
1364
01:14:23,843 --> 01:14:24,982
[laughing]
1365
01:14:25,086 --> 01:14:26,536
Thank you.
1366
01:14:27,122 --> 01:14:30,367
Come on. [speaks Spanish]
1367
01:14:30,471 --> 01:14:31,713
Dance with your husband.
1368
01:14:31,817 --> 01:14:33,612
[Alan] No, no, no.He's not my husband.
1369
01:14:33,715 --> 01:14:35,441
It's okay.[woman] Dance with him.
1370
01:14:35,545 --> 01:14:38,030
No, no. She doesn't want to.
She doesn't have
the right shoes.
1371
01:14:38,133 --> 01:14:40,653
Actually, it's the only thing
these shoes are right for.
1372
01:14:40,757 --> 01:14:43,000
You don't have to do this.
1373
01:14:43,104 --> 01:14:44,864
It's okay. It's okay.
1374
01:14:45,762 --> 01:14:46,728
Yeah?
1375
01:14:48,281 --> 01:14:50,663
[bossa nova music plays]
1376
01:15:54,209 --> 01:15:56,487
[music slows]
1377
01:15:57,972 --> 01:16:01,423
[singing in Spanish]
1378
01:16:05,358 --> 01:16:07,050
I wonder
what she's saying.
1379
01:16:07,153 --> 01:16:09,328
[singing continues]
1380
01:16:09,431 --> 01:16:10,916
It's folklore.
1381
01:16:12,331 --> 01:16:14,367
Love song about a woman
1382
01:16:14,471 --> 01:16:17,785
whose lover died,
and she didn't want to
leave his side.
1383
01:16:18,820 --> 01:16:21,651
So she laid down
and refused to get up.
1384
01:16:22,237 --> 01:16:23,998
Must be scary.
1385
01:16:24,101 --> 01:16:28,002
Having to face your future
without the person
that you planned it with.
1386
01:16:30,176 --> 01:16:32,627
[singing in Spanish]
1387
01:16:40,359 --> 01:16:41,912
What was that?
1388
01:16:44,052 --> 01:16:47,711
Excuse me. Excuse me.
The, um-- the last line
that you sang.
1389
01:16:47,815 --> 01:16:50,162
¿Quién llorará junto a mí?
1390
01:16:50,265 --> 01:16:52,992
[speaks Spanish]
1391
01:16:53,096 --> 01:16:55,926
[Loretta]
"The island will weep for me
in the well of endless tears."
1392
01:16:56,030 --> 01:16:59,412
What is that,
the well of endless tears?
Is that a real place, or...
1393
01:16:59,516 --> 01:17:01,138
Sinkhole place.
1394
01:17:01,242 --> 01:17:02,830
[speaks Spanish]
1395
01:17:02,933 --> 01:17:04,659
Thank you. Gracias, gracias.
1396
01:17:04,763 --> 01:17:06,834
Come here, come here.What is it?
1397
01:17:08,456 --> 01:17:10,285
Hey, on the parchment,
it said,
1398
01:17:10,389 --> 01:17:14,462
"King Kalaman
and his treasure laid to rest
in the well of endless tears."
1399
01:17:14,565 --> 01:17:16,671
I thought
maybe it was a metaphor.
1400
01:17:17,189 --> 01:17:18,742
It's not.
1401
01:17:18,846 --> 01:17:21,711
The Well of Endless Tears
is a place.
1402
01:17:21,814 --> 01:17:23,816
It's a sinkhole.
1403
01:17:23,920 --> 01:17:26,094
There's a sinkhole
on the map.
1404
01:17:27,440 --> 01:17:29,201
I think the tomb is there.
1405
01:17:29,304 --> 01:17:31,686
This is so much better
than your books.What?
1406
01:17:31,790 --> 01:17:33,274
There's like--
No, I don't mean any offense.
1407
01:17:33,377 --> 01:17:35,276
I'm kidding. I'm kidding.It's, like, equal.
1408
01:17:35,379 --> 01:17:37,588
I'm kidding. I'm kidding.Look at you.
You want to go there.
1409
01:17:37,692 --> 01:17:39,556
What? No.I can see. Yes, you do.
1410
01:17:39,660 --> 01:17:42,766
That would be insane.
That would be insane.
I just-- I just--
1411
01:17:42,870 --> 01:17:47,253
It's just that
we're so close to it,
but, you know, we can't--
1412
01:17:47,357 --> 01:17:48,669
No.
1413
01:17:48,772 --> 01:17:51,464
This is your story.
How do you want to write it?
1414
01:17:52,258 --> 01:17:54,571
I'd like to know
that it's there,
1415
01:17:54,675 --> 01:17:56,331
that all this
meant something.
1416
01:17:56,435 --> 01:17:58,299
Okay. Then let's go.
1417
01:17:58,402 --> 01:18:00,266
We'll stay one more day.
As soon as the sun's up,
1418
01:18:00,370 --> 01:18:02,130
we're gonna go find
the Well of Endless Tears.
1419
01:18:02,234 --> 01:18:05,099
But what if it's nothing?So what? Then we say we tried.
1420
01:18:05,202 --> 01:18:06,445
And Fairfax?
1421
01:18:06,548 --> 01:18:08,965
The cops are after Fairfax.
Don't worry about him.
1422
01:18:10,069 --> 01:18:10,863
This is crazy.
1423
01:18:10,967 --> 01:18:12,658
Yeah, but look at you.What?
1424
01:18:12,762 --> 01:18:15,730
It's the very first time
I've ever seen you
totally unafraid.
1425
01:18:16,351 --> 01:18:18,077
And alive.
1426
01:18:18,181 --> 01:18:20,701
I'm gonna go tell them
our plans have changed
and find us a ride.
1427
01:18:20,804 --> 01:18:22,254
Where are you going?
1428
01:18:25,913 --> 01:18:27,984
I see you met
my friend here.
1429
01:18:28,087 --> 01:18:32,471
He told me you were just
about to jump on a plane,
1430
01:18:32,574 --> 01:18:35,025
without so much as
saying goodbye.
1431
01:18:35,129 --> 01:18:38,546
I said, "No way.
Not my Loretta.
1432
01:18:38,649 --> 01:18:43,102
Not when she's the only one
who can lead me to the tomb."
1433
01:18:44,725 --> 01:18:46,416
[engine starts]
1434
01:18:46,519 --> 01:18:48,590
[Loretta]
Stop squeezing so hard.
1435
01:18:49,419 --> 01:18:52,215
Ow. Get your hands off of me!
1436
01:18:53,078 --> 01:18:54,942
Ow! Let go!
1437
01:18:55,425 --> 01:18:56,633
I-I need a car.
1438
01:18:56,737 --> 01:18:58,669
A car, an auto.
Does anybody have an auto?
1439
01:19:07,161 --> 01:19:08,231
No, no. No.
1440
01:19:08,956 --> 01:19:10,267
I-I-I need an auto.
1441
01:19:10,371 --> 01:19:11,717
I'll trade you my watch.
1442
01:19:11,821 --> 01:19:13,236
It's a really expensive watch.
Do you have a car?
1443
01:19:13,339 --> 01:19:14,858
It's a Bulgari.
This thing glows in the dark.
1444
01:19:14,962 --> 01:19:16,757
It's waterproof.I have motorcycle.
1445
01:19:30,356 --> 01:19:32,117
Cool, isn't it?
1446
01:19:32,220 --> 01:19:35,327
I always thought,
why can't your personal tank
also have a minibar?
1447
01:19:35,430 --> 01:19:36,915
Have a drink.
1448
01:19:37,018 --> 01:19:38,571
[exhales heavily]Do you mind?
1449
01:19:38,675 --> 01:19:40,090
[Fairfax] Uh, yes.
1450
01:19:40,194 --> 01:19:42,334
He has a bit of a grudge
against you, I'm afraid.
1451
01:19:42,437 --> 01:19:45,233
Something about
a motorbike accident
his friends had?
1452
01:19:45,337 --> 01:19:46,510
Why are you doing this?
1453
01:19:46,614 --> 01:19:48,374
I want something
nobody else has.
1454
01:19:49,272 --> 01:19:51,101
When my father gifted--[horn honks]
1455
01:19:52,654 --> 01:19:54,070
[horn honks]
1456
01:19:54,173 --> 01:19:55,692
As I was saying,
1457
01:19:55,796 --> 01:19:58,729
when my father gifted
his empire
1458
01:19:58,833 --> 01:20:01,284
-to my baby brother--
-[horn honking]
1459
01:20:02,250 --> 01:20:04,045
[vehicle accelerating]
1460
01:20:08,325 --> 01:20:09,844
Who is that?
1461
01:20:18,577 --> 01:20:20,786
Is that a Ken doll
on a moped?
1462
01:20:21,580 --> 01:20:23,099
I know him from somewhere.
1463
01:20:23,202 --> 01:20:24,859
[Loretta]
Oh, I-I-I doubt that.
1464
01:20:24,963 --> 01:20:27,172
Because what
you are looking at
1465
01:20:27,275 --> 01:20:30,175
is a highly trained
combat specialist,
1466
01:20:30,278 --> 01:20:33,868
forged in the furnaces
of Afghanistan, Iraq,
1467
01:20:33,972 --> 01:20:36,560
Kuwait, Sa-- Sarasota...
1468
01:20:36,664 --> 01:20:38,735
Incredible skin.
No eczema problems.
1469
01:20:38,839 --> 01:20:42,532
And he will not stop
until I am safe!
1470
01:20:42,635 --> 01:20:44,845
So you pull
this space tank over,
1471
01:20:44,948 --> 01:20:48,089
unless you would like to perish
like his friends did.
1472
01:20:48,193 --> 01:20:51,610
And he is responsible
for their perishment.
1473
01:20:51,713 --> 01:20:54,406
He might not have meant to,
1474
01:20:54,509 --> 01:20:57,788
but they... perished, so...
1475
01:21:12,734 --> 01:21:13,977
Okay, who-who is this?
1476
01:21:14,081 --> 01:21:15,979
I have seen him
somewhere before.
1477
01:21:16,807 --> 01:21:18,361
[thuds][Fairfax laughs]
1478
01:21:18,464 --> 01:21:19,707
No, no, no.
1479
01:21:19,810 --> 01:21:21,536
That's your cover model,
isn't it?
1480
01:21:21,640 --> 01:21:23,918
Yes. I knew
I knew him from somewhere.
1481
01:21:24,815 --> 01:21:25,886
Get up there.
1482
01:21:25,989 --> 01:21:27,370
And kill him creatively.
1483
01:21:27,473 --> 01:21:29,579
I love watching hunks fail.[latch opens]
1484
01:21:29,682 --> 01:21:30,994
[wind whistling]
1485
01:21:31,926 --> 01:21:34,170
I guess I-I will
have that drink.
1486
01:21:35,861 --> 01:21:37,138
Oh, shit.
1487
01:21:37,242 --> 01:21:39,796
Is it okay
if I just top 'er off?
1488
01:21:39,900 --> 01:21:41,073
[Fairfax]
Yeah, that's fine, but--
1489
01:21:41,177 --> 01:21:43,144
Oh, my God,
have you used a glass before?
1490
01:21:43,248 --> 01:21:44,594
Sorry. [chuckles]
1491
01:21:44,697 --> 01:21:46,182
[Alan] What would
Jack Trainer do?
1492
01:21:48,391 --> 01:21:49,461
It's hot in here.
1493
01:21:49,564 --> 01:21:52,567
Anyone else feeling
how hot it is?
1494
01:21:52,671 --> 01:21:53,741
Are you trying to be sexy?
1495
01:21:53,844 --> 01:21:55,639
This is very weird.
Please, stop.
1496
01:21:55,743 --> 01:21:57,641
I could set your world
on fire.
1497
01:22:01,749 --> 01:22:03,716
[men shouting]
1498
01:22:08,238 --> 01:22:10,551
Go to sleep! Go to sleep![grunting]
1499
01:22:10,654 --> 01:22:12,380
Go to sleep! Sleep!
1500
01:22:14,796 --> 01:22:16,626
[tires squealing]Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1501
01:22:16,729 --> 01:22:18,007
[Alan] Time-out.
1502
01:22:18,110 --> 01:22:19,042
Time-in!
1503
01:22:19,525 --> 01:22:20,837
[grunts]
1504
01:22:24,875 --> 01:22:27,706
No! Don't shoot her!
I need her!
1505
01:22:29,363 --> 01:22:31,227
[tires squealing][Alan] Oh, Jesus!
1506
01:22:31,330 --> 01:22:32,745
Ow, ow, ow.
1507
01:22:36,680 --> 01:22:39,097
Move your foot! Move your foot!
1508
01:22:42,169 --> 01:22:44,378
-[grunts]
-Go to sleep, asshole.
1509
01:22:44,481 --> 01:22:46,138
Get out there! Look!
1510
01:22:50,729 --> 01:22:52,041
A bigger guy? [grunts]
1511
01:22:52,144 --> 01:22:53,352
Oh, no.
1512
01:22:54,698 --> 01:22:55,941
What?
1513
01:22:58,426 --> 01:22:59,358
Move it!
1514
01:22:59,462 --> 01:23:00,981
[tires screech]
1515
01:23:01,084 --> 01:23:03,397
[Alan]
No, no, no. No, no, no.
1516
01:23:04,294 --> 01:23:06,193
Hey! Get in.
1517
01:23:06,710 --> 01:23:07,815
Him or me?
1518
01:23:11,922 --> 01:23:16,720
This is not one of
your cheap, vapid
lady-fantasy books, Loretta.
1519
01:23:16,824 --> 01:23:18,791
This is real life.
1520
01:23:19,723 --> 01:23:21,587
And we will kill him.
1521
01:23:21,691 --> 01:23:23,417
Tell us where the tomb is.
1522
01:23:30,320 --> 01:23:31,321
[grunts]
1523
01:23:33,599 --> 01:23:34,876
[groans]
1524
01:23:38,087 --> 01:23:39,398
Hi.
So, whoever's in charge,
1525
01:23:39,502 --> 01:23:42,125
I need you to send
officials to go here.
1526
01:23:42,229 --> 01:23:43,333
Here.
1527
01:23:44,472 --> 01:23:46,302
We are closed.
1528
01:23:46,405 --> 01:23:47,751
You're closed?
1529
01:23:49,684 --> 01:23:52,791
You know I've been
trying to take a nap
for a year and a half?
1530
01:23:52,894 --> 01:23:54,448
A year and a half.
1531
01:23:55,380 --> 01:23:58,486
I have been burning the candle
at both ends,
1532
01:23:58,590 --> 01:23:59,936
the midnight oil,
1533
01:24:00,040 --> 01:24:03,008
since way before
my friend got kidnapped.
1534
01:24:03,112 --> 01:24:04,975
And all I want to do
1535
01:24:05,528 --> 01:24:07,668
is kick my feet back
1536
01:24:07,771 --> 01:24:09,014
and drink some wine
1537
01:24:09,118 --> 01:24:11,499
that I'm probably
too tired to drink.
1538
01:24:11,603 --> 01:24:13,536
And I want a massage.
1539
01:24:13,639 --> 01:24:18,299
I want someone to massage
my shoulders and my feet,
1540
01:24:18,403 --> 01:24:20,439
and I want it at the same time.
1541
01:24:20,543 --> 01:24:24,236
And I don't care if logistically
that doesn't make sense.
1542
01:24:24,340 --> 01:24:26,997
Because I have worked hard.
1543
01:24:27,860 --> 01:24:30,311
The same way that
I know that you have.
1544
01:24:31,209 --> 01:24:33,418
So I hate to ask you
1545
01:24:33,521 --> 01:24:35,903
to leave this place open
a few more minutes,
1546
01:24:36,006 --> 01:24:37,939
because if we don't,
1547
01:24:38,043 --> 01:24:41,598
a very close friend of mine
and her cover model
1548
01:24:41,702 --> 01:24:43,462
are going to die.
1549
01:25:06,313 --> 01:25:07,866
[boat driver]
No good way in, boss!
1550
01:25:07,969 --> 01:25:10,110
What about the caves?
1551
01:25:10,869 --> 01:25:12,215
That's too dangerous!
1552
01:25:12,319 --> 01:25:15,322
Well,
we'll be very careful then.
1553
01:25:28,887 --> 01:25:30,199
Well, come on!
1554
01:25:34,893 --> 01:25:36,722
This way.[Alan] I have a rule about
1555
01:25:36,826 --> 01:25:38,345
not going into
super creepy caves.
1556
01:25:38,448 --> 01:25:39,587
[grunts]
1557
01:25:49,701 --> 01:25:52,635
Julian?[Loretta]
His name is Julian?
1558
01:25:52,738 --> 01:25:55,603
[Alan] He seems more like
a Buck or a Bruce.
1559
01:25:55,707 --> 01:25:57,191
Lead the way.
1560
01:26:00,884 --> 01:26:03,266
Go on. Don't be scared.
1561
01:26:04,681 --> 01:26:07,615
[rumbling]
1562
01:26:07,719 --> 01:26:10,549
[explosion]
1563
01:26:29,775 --> 01:26:30,983
[Loretta gasps]
1564
01:26:31,087 --> 01:26:32,916
[laughs]
1565
01:26:33,020 --> 01:26:34,815
[Julian]
Watch your step there.
1566
01:26:34,918 --> 01:26:36,092
[grunts, shouts][Alan] Bruce!
1567
01:26:36,196 --> 01:26:37,197
[Loretta] Julian. Oh, no!Julian!
1568
01:26:37,300 --> 01:26:38,922
[gasps]Whoa.
1569
01:26:39,026 --> 01:26:40,545
[shout fades][Loretta] Whoa.
1570
01:26:41,201 --> 01:26:42,685
[Fairfax] Well...
1571
01:26:43,513 --> 01:26:45,239
Let's not have
his death be in vain.
1572
01:26:45,343 --> 01:26:48,104
-Onward and upward.
-What do you mean onward?
1573
01:26:48,208 --> 01:26:50,658
We're not gonna go
and get him now, are we?
1574
01:26:50,762 --> 01:26:52,177
[sighs] Oh, man.
1575
01:27:04,569 --> 01:27:06,226
[Loretta] It's nothing.[Alan] Okay.
1576
01:27:06,329 --> 01:27:09,021
Yeah. Look, let's just
go back to the boat.
1577
01:27:09,125 --> 01:27:10,989
This is over.
Nobody else has to die.
1578
01:27:11,092 --> 01:27:13,267
No, no, no. Ha-ha!
It's a breeze.
1579
01:27:13,371 --> 01:27:15,821
There's a tunnel.
This could lead to the tomb.
1580
01:27:15,925 --> 01:27:17,789
That's not person-sized.Ah, speak for yourself.
1581
01:27:17,892 --> 01:27:20,170
Come on.
It's practically
a kiddie slide.
1582
01:27:20,274 --> 01:27:22,587
More like
a rock sphincter.Or a troll anus.
1583
01:27:22,690 --> 01:27:25,072
All right, well, you are
going through the anus--
1584
01:27:25,175 --> 01:27:26,487
the hole-- the tunnel!
1585
01:27:26,591 --> 01:27:28,593
Why her?You are our canary
in the coal mine.
1586
01:27:28,696 --> 01:27:30,111
No, that's impossible.
I can't.
1587
01:27:30,215 --> 01:27:31,665
Please let us know
if you get through.
1588
01:27:31,768 --> 01:27:34,081
If we don't hear from you,
Fabio's got to die.
1589
01:27:34,184 --> 01:27:36,359
[Alan] Wait,
I'm the damsel in distress?
1590
01:27:37,049 --> 01:27:38,292
It's okay. I'm fine.
1591
01:27:38,948 --> 01:27:40,363
[wind whistling]
1592
01:27:43,642 --> 01:27:44,678
[grunts]
1593
01:27:57,484 --> 01:27:59,727
[panting]
1594
01:28:00,763 --> 01:28:03,110
[hyperventilating]
1595
01:28:06,493 --> 01:28:07,701
[grunts]
1596
01:28:07,804 --> 01:28:10,738
[panting]
1597
01:28:13,016 --> 01:28:14,224
[whimpers]
1598
01:28:14,328 --> 01:28:16,779
I can't.
I'm so sorry. I can't.
1599
01:28:16,882 --> 01:28:18,608
-Hey.
-What?
1600
01:28:19,333 --> 01:28:21,301
Hey, you smell that?
1601
01:28:21,404 --> 01:28:24,338
You mean centuries
worth of bat feces?
Yes, I definitely smell that.
1602
01:28:24,442 --> 01:28:26,651
You gotta take
a big breath for me.
1603
01:28:27,445 --> 01:28:29,688
[inhales deeply, exhales]
1604
01:28:31,759 --> 01:28:33,140
There you go.
1605
01:28:33,243 --> 01:28:35,107
You can do it, Loretta.
1606
01:28:36,626 --> 01:28:37,662
[grunts]
1607
01:28:48,051 --> 01:28:50,813
I think I see a way out.
1608
01:28:50,916 --> 01:28:52,780
[grunting, groans]
1609
01:28:54,368 --> 01:28:56,577
Oh, cheese and rice!
1610
01:28:57,164 --> 01:28:58,821
[grunting]
1611
01:29:01,271 --> 01:29:02,618
I made it!
1612
01:29:02,721 --> 01:29:04,205
I made it!
1613
01:29:04,309 --> 01:29:06,794
-[sighs]
-See? Totally safe.
1614
01:29:07,795 --> 01:29:08,865
Go on. Your turn.
1615
01:29:10,557 --> 01:29:13,456
[Alan] I'm coming through!
Be right there, okay?
1616
01:30:04,024 --> 01:30:05,370
[grunts]
1617
01:30:17,624 --> 01:30:19,764
Why would they
build this here?
1618
01:30:20,868 --> 01:30:22,594
But how is anyone
supposed to worship
1619
01:30:22,698 --> 01:30:24,389
or remember you
if they can't even see it?
1620
01:30:24,493 --> 01:30:26,356
[Loretta]
They aren't.
1621
01:30:26,460 --> 01:30:29,429
This isn't a monument
to Kalaman's power.
1622
01:30:30,533 --> 01:30:33,122
It's a hiding place
for a grieving woman.
1623
01:30:33,225 --> 01:30:36,677
Taha came here
to be with her fallen lover.
1624
01:30:38,334 --> 01:30:39,784
She just wanted
to be alone.
1625
01:30:39,887 --> 01:30:41,337
[rumbling]
1626
01:30:41,441 --> 01:30:42,959
Taha doesn't want us here.
1627
01:30:43,063 --> 01:30:44,409
God, shut up, Rafi.
1628
01:30:44,513 --> 01:30:46,376
It's just the volcano.
1629
01:30:48,033 --> 01:30:49,345
Come on.
1630
01:30:54,488 --> 01:30:56,145
[Alan]
We have to keep going.
1631
01:31:04,325 --> 01:31:05,982
[Fairfax] All right.
Let's go, Muscles.
1632
01:31:06,776 --> 01:31:08,606
Open it up.[rumbling]
1633
01:31:08,709 --> 01:31:11,160
-Don't disturb them.
-She will be wearing
the headdress.
1634
01:31:11,263 --> 01:31:13,852
Come on.
We didn't come all this way
just to pay our respects.
1635
01:31:13,956 --> 01:31:15,613
I can't, um...
1636
01:31:18,374 --> 01:31:20,583
Uh...I'm sorry, abuela.
1637
01:31:22,447 --> 01:31:24,380
[both grunting]
1638
01:31:27,797 --> 01:31:28,936
[Alan grunts]
1639
01:31:41,811 --> 01:31:43,123
What is that?
1640
01:31:43,226 --> 01:31:45,159
[breathes heavily]
1641
01:31:45,263 --> 01:31:47,679
Are those... seashells?
1642
01:31:48,438 --> 01:31:51,303
The crown is made of seashells?
1643
01:31:51,407 --> 01:31:52,960
Where's the treasure?
1644
01:31:53,961 --> 01:31:55,411
She's holding him.
1645
01:31:58,207 --> 01:31:59,967
You mean the dead guy?
1646
01:32:06,491 --> 01:32:07,699
[Loretta] Look.
1647
01:32:09,701 --> 01:32:11,427
It's their courtship.
1648
01:32:11,531 --> 01:32:15,431
Kalaman is searching the island
for something.
1649
01:32:18,261 --> 01:32:19,849
Rare red seashells.
1650
01:32:19,953 --> 01:32:24,958
To prove his love,
he gave her one shell
every day for a year
1651
01:32:25,061 --> 01:32:26,615
and made them into a crown,
1652
01:32:26,718 --> 01:32:29,514
bright red like
the flame of their love,
1653
01:32:29,618 --> 01:32:33,000
until the day came
where she accepted his proposal.
1654
01:32:33,104 --> 01:32:34,864
It was never about jewels.
1655
01:32:34,968 --> 01:32:38,696
Kalaman and Taha's riches
weren't material.
1656
01:32:40,629 --> 01:32:42,562
It was their love.
1657
01:32:42,665 --> 01:32:45,012
That's what it meant.
That was enough.
1658
01:32:45,116 --> 01:32:46,324
[Fairfax] So that's it?
1659
01:32:47,221 --> 01:32:50,121
All of that time
and money
1660
01:32:50,949 --> 01:32:54,539
spent on, what,
just a cheap metaphor?
1661
01:32:54,643 --> 01:32:57,438
It's a pretty rich metaphor.Oh, shut up!
1662
01:32:57,542 --> 01:32:59,579
-[rumbling]
-We got to go. We got to go now.
1663
01:32:59,682 --> 01:33:02,858
-Come on. Let's go.
-No, no, no.
You are staying here.
1664
01:33:02,961 --> 01:33:05,032
You think it's all
so sweet and poetic.
1665
01:33:05,136 --> 01:33:07,621
Well, then you can stay here
and spend your last moments
1666
01:33:07,725 --> 01:33:10,659
pondering the richness
of that metaphor.
1667
01:33:11,349 --> 01:33:13,627
-Get in.
-What? Come on, man.
1668
01:33:13,731 --> 01:33:16,181
-Oh, God. Just get in.
Get in the tomb.
-Okay, okay.
1669
01:33:16,285 --> 01:33:18,908
[Alan] It's better
to be buried alive
than buried dead, I guess.
1670
01:33:19,012 --> 01:33:22,291
-[Loretta] It's really not.
-You know, it is a shame,
really.
1671
01:33:22,394 --> 01:33:23,913
This is a hell of a story.
1672
01:33:24,017 --> 01:33:26,709
Pity you won't be around
to tell it. Come on.
1673
01:33:26,813 --> 01:33:28,400
-But they'll die.
-So will you
1674
01:33:28,504 --> 01:33:31,093
if you don't stop
being such a snowflake!
Get over here!
1675
01:33:33,336 --> 01:33:34,579
[grunts]
1676
01:33:40,689 --> 01:33:42,691
[Loretta] This is fine.
This is not an active nightmare
1677
01:33:42,794 --> 01:33:44,451
I've had since
I was 14 years old.
1678
01:33:46,211 --> 01:33:47,696
[Fairfax] Ow! [grunts]
1679
01:33:47,799 --> 01:33:51,527
Why are you going so fast?
It's not a race.
1680
01:33:52,493 --> 01:33:53,909
[grunting]
1681
01:33:55,082 --> 01:33:56,428
[boat engine starts]
1682
01:33:56,532 --> 01:33:58,845
Wait, no! What are you doing?
Come back here!
1683
01:33:58,948 --> 01:34:03,643
You may have bought the island,
but now the island owns you!
1684
01:34:04,505 --> 01:34:05,990
You can't just
leave me here!
1685
01:34:08,026 --> 01:34:10,408
Rafi! Come back!
1686
01:34:12,582 --> 01:34:13,998
I need a boat!
1687
01:34:23,421 --> 01:34:25,526
Hey, hey, stop! Stop!
1688
01:34:27,528 --> 01:34:29,392
Help! Help!
1689
01:34:29,496 --> 01:34:31,601
One of the locals
just stole my boat!
1690
01:34:31,705 --> 01:34:33,465
Have you seen a woman?
1691
01:34:33,569 --> 01:34:36,676
She's a brunette
in a sequined jumpsuit.
1692
01:34:36,779 --> 01:34:40,783
No. Is she in some sort
of trouble?
1693
01:34:44,442 --> 01:34:46,651
[Loretta breathing heavily]
1694
01:34:47,341 --> 01:34:49,723
[both grunting]
1695
01:34:52,450 --> 01:34:54,176
It's kind of funny.
1696
01:34:55,591 --> 01:34:57,386
I used to think this...
1697
01:34:57,489 --> 01:34:59,388
this sort of thing
was so romantic.
1698
01:34:59,491 --> 01:35:00,872
Yeah?
1699
01:35:00,976 --> 01:35:04,324
Being locked in a coffin
about to be buried by lava,
1700
01:35:04,427 --> 01:35:07,016
or... cuddling dead people?
1701
01:35:07,810 --> 01:35:10,882
Just laying down
with a lost love.
1702
01:35:10,986 --> 01:35:12,194
Like Taha did.
1703
01:35:12,297 --> 01:35:13,954
[volcano rumbling]
1704
01:35:14,748 --> 01:35:15,956
God.Oh...
1705
01:35:16,543 --> 01:35:17,924
Oh, God.
1706
01:35:18,027 --> 01:35:20,236
I'm sorry.
1707
01:35:20,340 --> 01:35:22,791
I'm sorry that
I couldn't save you.
1708
01:35:22,894 --> 01:35:24,862
I'm sorry I couldn't be Dash.
1709
01:35:25,448 --> 01:35:26,726
You're right.
1710
01:35:27,761 --> 01:35:29,314
You're nothing like Dash.
1711
01:35:29,418 --> 01:35:32,455
You didn't ride in
on a white horse
to save me.
1712
01:35:32,559 --> 01:35:37,944
You rode in on a...
borrowed scooter
with a broken muffler.
1713
01:35:38,047 --> 01:35:39,221
[chuckles]
1714
01:35:39,324 --> 01:35:40,740
Yeah.
1715
01:35:40,843 --> 01:35:43,743
I never could've written
a Dash like you.
1716
01:35:45,641 --> 01:35:47,574
'Cause I never knew
1717
01:35:48,264 --> 01:35:50,059
a Dash like Alan.
1718
01:35:50,163 --> 01:35:52,613
I was so afraid
of being hurt by life again
1719
01:35:52,717 --> 01:35:54,098
that I just stopped living.
1720
01:35:54,201 --> 01:35:56,203
Couldn't see the good things
in front of me.
1721
01:35:56,307 --> 01:35:59,793
I'm just so sorry
I didn't see you sooner.
1722
01:36:00,760 --> 01:36:02,485
I have a confession too.
1723
01:36:02,589 --> 01:36:06,489
See, I was really liking
where this new story of ours
was headed.
1724
01:36:06,593 --> 01:36:09,803
I just wanted to see how
it was gonna turn out, I guess.
1725
01:36:11,115 --> 01:36:13,669
The Adventures
of Loretta and Alan.
1726
01:36:15,775 --> 01:36:17,707
No, it would need
a better title than that.
1727
01:36:17,811 --> 01:36:19,779
Yeah, definitely.
Definitely.
1728
01:36:20,918 --> 01:36:24,714
Sorry. Just...
Taha's femur is poking me.
1729
01:36:25,715 --> 01:36:28,304
[volcano rumbling]
1730
01:36:28,408 --> 01:36:30,168
Rafi must have
left that.
1731
01:36:30,272 --> 01:36:32,792
[Alan]
How do you forget your crowbar?
It's gonna help us escape.
1732
01:36:32,895 --> 01:36:34,517
No, he left it
on purpose.
1733
01:36:34,621 --> 01:36:36,312
Oh, cool. I always liked him.
1734
01:36:36,416 --> 01:36:37,831
One...Okay.
1735
01:36:37,935 --> 01:36:39,764
...two, three!Okay.
1736
01:36:39,868 --> 01:36:43,803
I would've preferred him
to not leave us here
in the first place, but...
1737
01:36:44,493 --> 01:36:45,321
[Alan] Okay.
1738
01:36:45,425 --> 01:36:47,151
[grunting]
1739
01:37:06,377 --> 01:37:08,586
Dulcius ex asperis.
1740
01:37:12,935 --> 01:37:14,834
Sweeter after difficulty.
1741
01:37:16,559 --> 01:37:18,147
[rumbling]
1742
01:37:21,461 --> 01:37:22,911
Go up!
Run for the trees!
1743
01:37:24,119 --> 01:37:27,018
Wait. Nope. Never mind.
Trees are on fire.
1744
01:37:27,467 --> 01:37:29,158
Okay.
1745
01:37:30,746 --> 01:37:32,610
We can go back
through the tunnel.
1746
01:37:33,576 --> 01:37:34,854
Nope. Tunnel's a no-go.
1747
01:37:39,962 --> 01:37:41,930
[Alan] Um, okay.
I'm open to other ideas.
1748
01:37:42,033 --> 01:37:45,588
There's a current.
We can follow it into the ocean.
1749
01:37:45,692 --> 01:37:47,314
How do we know
what's on the other side?
1750
01:37:47,832 --> 01:37:48,902
We don't.
1751
01:37:50,731 --> 01:37:52,872
There's only one way
to find out.
1752
01:37:54,425 --> 01:37:56,082
Worth the rash.Yeah?
1753
01:38:17,068 --> 01:38:18,069
Alan?
1754
01:38:26,526 --> 01:38:27,768
Alan!
1755
01:39:00,594 --> 01:39:02,286
[gasping]
1756
01:39:05,220 --> 01:39:06,221
Alan?
1757
01:39:06,324 --> 01:39:09,017
A-- [coughs] Alan?
1758
01:39:10,225 --> 01:39:11,226
Alan!
1759
01:39:14,505 --> 01:39:16,231
Oh, my God! You're alive!
1760
01:39:16,334 --> 01:39:18,578
I'm alive.Oh, my God.
I thought I killed you.
1761
01:39:18,681 --> 01:39:20,097
[laughs]
1762
01:39:21,546 --> 01:39:22,513
Is that Beth?
1763
01:39:22,616 --> 01:39:23,859
[Beth] Loretta!
1764
01:39:24,480 --> 01:39:25,654
[Loretta] Beth!
1765
01:39:25,757 --> 01:39:27,414
[Alan] Beth![Loretta] Beth!
1766
01:39:27,518 --> 01:39:28,760
Beth!
1767
01:39:34,421 --> 01:39:35,802
Beth, you're here!
1768
01:39:36,458 --> 01:39:37,666
Why are you here?
1769
01:39:37,769 --> 01:39:40,565
I told you I got your back,
girl!
1770
01:39:41,152 --> 01:39:42,947
I'm so sorry!
1771
01:39:43,051 --> 01:39:45,156
I destroyed
the jumpsuit!
1772
01:39:45,605 --> 01:39:46,606
What?
1773
01:39:46,709 --> 01:39:49,229
Never mind! Later.
1774
01:39:49,333 --> 01:39:51,335
I found a British guy
in a cave.
1775
01:39:51,438 --> 01:39:53,923
I thought he was a little boy,
but he has a full beard.
1776
01:39:54,027 --> 01:39:57,306
Beth, that's Fairfax!
He kidnapped us!
1777
01:39:57,410 --> 01:40:00,171
[Alan] He's a bad guy, Beth!
He killed my trainer!
1778
01:40:00,275 --> 01:40:01,276
Get him!
1779
01:40:01,793 --> 01:40:02,967
Stop him!
1780
01:40:05,349 --> 01:40:06,315
[grunts]
1781
01:40:06,419 --> 01:40:07,799
[grunts]
1782
01:40:10,802 --> 01:40:13,012
I got your back, girl.
1783
01:40:15,152 --> 01:40:17,119
Where were you running?
It's a boat.
1784
01:40:17,223 --> 01:40:18,741
This guy's hilarious.
[laughs]
1785
01:40:18,845 --> 01:40:20,571
Got you.
1786
01:40:20,674 --> 01:40:21,951
[Beth] Swim over to the rock!
1787
01:40:22,055 --> 01:40:24,126
I don't got you.
No, I got you.I got you.
1788
01:40:24,230 --> 01:40:26,128
We're gonna get you.
It's gonna be okay.
1789
01:40:26,232 --> 01:40:28,820
[Allison] "Finding refuge
on a nearby rock,
1790
01:40:28,924 --> 01:40:31,030
he lifted her from the water,
1791
01:40:31,133 --> 01:40:34,309
his powerful arms
pulling her body close.
1792
01:40:34,412 --> 01:40:35,551
Alan whispered..."
1793
01:40:35,655 --> 01:40:38,209
Shh. You're safe now.
1794
01:40:40,625 --> 01:40:45,285
[Alan] "In that moment,
Loretta could feel a new
adventure was just beginning."
1795
01:40:46,562 --> 01:40:49,220
"The heart-pounding passion
of the narrow escape
1796
01:40:49,324 --> 01:40:52,258
only inflamed Loretta's
desire for him.
1797
01:40:52,361 --> 01:40:56,572
She was thirsty for the hot lava
soon to be pulsing from his..."
1798
01:40:56,676 --> 01:41:00,266
Don't you go stopping
right at the good part.
1799
01:41:00,369 --> 01:41:01,508
[chuckles][laughs]
1800
01:41:01,612 --> 01:41:03,441
It's nothing she hasn't
read before.
1801
01:41:03,545 --> 01:41:04,925
Didn't I tell you?
1802
01:41:05,029 --> 01:41:08,032
The most beautiful beach
in the world.
1803
01:41:08,136 --> 01:41:11,449
Maybe later, I'll show you
the Cove of Enchantment?
1804
01:41:11,553 --> 01:41:13,141
No, you can take Randy.
1805
01:41:13,244 --> 01:41:16,903
Remember, you are
my platonic man friend.
1806
01:41:17,006 --> 01:41:20,044
Platonic?
I like the sound of that.
1807
01:41:20,148 --> 01:41:22,805
Not sure what it means,
but I like the sound of it.
1808
01:41:22,909 --> 01:41:25,118
Here you go, Randy. [grunts]
1809
01:41:26,878 --> 01:41:29,191
My dear.You are an angel.
Thank you.
1810
01:41:29,847 --> 01:41:31,262
How did you know?
1811
01:41:43,171 --> 01:41:45,966
Nice way to end
a book tour, right?Mm-hmm.
1812
01:41:46,519 --> 01:41:48,348
[sighs] Um...
1813
01:41:48,452 --> 01:41:52,697
You know,
I have a phrase I like to use
in moments like these, actually.
1814
01:41:52,801 --> 01:41:54,043
Um...
1815
01:41:55,528 --> 01:41:56,943
Quid deinde?
1816
01:41:58,082 --> 01:42:01,258
It's Latin.
It means, uh, "What's next?"
1817
01:42:03,156 --> 01:42:04,675
Quid cogitas?
1818
01:42:04,778 --> 01:42:06,159
Mmm.
1819
01:42:06,884 --> 01:42:08,057
Buca di Beppo.
1820
01:42:08,161 --> 01:42:09,852
[both laughing]
1821
01:42:11,475 --> 01:42:13,132
Yeah. I know
zero other Latin.No. Yes.
1822
01:42:13,235 --> 01:42:16,169
I looked it up
for this moment right now.
1823
01:42:16,997 --> 01:42:19,138
[sighs]So, what does come next?
1824
01:42:19,241 --> 01:42:21,726
How would you write this?I don't know.
1825
01:42:21,830 --> 01:42:24,384
How would you write it?Do we really want me
to write this?
1826
01:42:24,488 --> 01:42:26,835
Just try. Take a stab at it.Okay. I'll write it.
1827
01:42:26,938 --> 01:42:28,285
Okay.
1828
01:42:28,388 --> 01:42:31,391
"We were-- They were, uh...
standing on a beach."
1829
01:42:31,495 --> 01:42:33,428
Sets the stage for the audience.
They know where we are.
1830
01:42:33,531 --> 01:42:35,326
You're already laughing.
Why are you laughing at me?
1831
01:42:35,430 --> 01:42:37,225
I'm not laughing.
I'm smiling.You are.
1832
01:42:37,328 --> 01:42:41,332
"There are palm trees
above a brown
1833
01:42:42,195 --> 01:42:44,818
bark-like hair
of the maiden.
1834
01:42:44,922 --> 01:42:46,786
There is a dead jellyfish--"
1835
01:42:46,889 --> 01:42:49,340
All you're doing
is describing what you're
actually seeing right now.
1836
01:42:49,444 --> 01:42:52,274
"He's nervous
because he really likes her."
1837
01:42:53,137 --> 01:42:55,174
It's nice writing.
1838
01:42:55,277 --> 01:42:56,589
Thanks.You're welcome.
1839
01:42:56,692 --> 01:42:57,797
I'll keep going.
1840
01:42:57,900 --> 01:42:59,488
"He looked deep in her eyes.
1841
01:42:59,592 --> 01:43:03,043
The only thing
that could compare
to the pulse of that ocean
1842
01:43:03,837 --> 01:43:04,907
was the throbbing in the--"
1843
01:43:05,011 --> 01:43:08,117
Okay, no, you can't throb.Why not?
1844
01:43:08,221 --> 01:43:09,947
Can't come
out of the gate
with a throb.
1845
01:43:10,050 --> 01:43:12,363
You throb all the time.I don't come
out of the gate with it.
1846
01:43:12,467 --> 01:43:14,365
You have to earn the throb.Who made you
the queen of throb?
1847
01:43:14,469 --> 01:43:18,162
It's usually a chapter four
thing. You want it brought up
appropriately in four.
1848
01:43:18,266 --> 01:43:20,371
I think you throb
in all the chapters.
"Pulsating."
1849
01:43:20,475 --> 01:43:22,408
It's a precursor to throb.
1850
01:43:22,511 --> 01:43:24,617
"Undulating."You just jumped to five.
1851
01:43:24,720 --> 01:43:27,585
How 'bout they just kiss?
Why not?Just like a regular kiss?
1852
01:43:27,689 --> 01:43:29,553
Yeah. Like a
beginning-of-the-chapter kiss.
1853
01:43:29,656 --> 01:43:31,244
I'm good at starting--
1854
01:43:35,110 --> 01:43:36,594
How was that? Any notes?
1855
01:43:37,354 --> 01:43:40,736
Very good
first chapter attempt.
1856
01:43:41,875 --> 01:43:43,705
♪ Bad chick
I could be your fantasy♪
1857
01:43:43,808 --> 01:43:46,017
♪ I can tell
You got big, big energy♪
1858
01:43:46,121 --> 01:43:48,330
♪ It ain't too many of 'em
That can handle me♪
1859
01:43:48,434 --> 01:43:50,332
♪ But I might let you try it
Off the Hennessy♪
1860
01:43:50,436 --> 01:43:52,714
♪ Make 'em sang to this thing
Like a melody♪
1861
01:43:52,817 --> 01:43:55,095
♪ And if your girl ain't right
I got the remedy♪
1862
01:43:55,199 --> 01:43:57,650
♪ It ain't too many of 'em
That can handle me♪
1863
01:43:57,753 --> 01:44:00,308
♪ Bad chick
I could be your fantasy♪
1864
01:44:00,411 --> 01:44:01,895
♪ Tell me how you want it♪
1865
01:44:01,999 --> 01:44:03,863
♪ Three, two, one
And I'm on it♪
1866
01:44:03,966 --> 01:44:05,830
♪ Feel good, don't it?
Hood chick, you in a bonnet♪
1867
01:44:05,934 --> 01:44:07,901
♪ I'ma bust it on a pole
Like Onyx♪
1868
01:44:08,005 --> 01:44:11,180
♪ I'm just being honest
Juicy, Minute Maid♪
1869
01:44:11,284 --> 01:44:12,975
♪ But can't do it
One minute, man♪
1870
01:44:13,079 --> 01:44:15,564
♪ Not a side or a main
I'm the only one he entertain♪
1871
01:44:15,668 --> 01:44:17,739
♪ Spending his
Mine in the bank♪
1872
01:44:17,842 --> 01:44:21,467
♪ I like what I see
A boss like you
Need a boss like me♪
1873
01:44:21,570 --> 01:44:23,538
♪ Daddy from the street
So he move low key♪
1874
01:44:23,641 --> 01:44:25,919
♪ Tryna ride that mic
Like karaoke♪
1875
01:44:26,023 --> 01:44:28,508
♪ On the count of three
Bad, get money♪
1876
01:44:28,612 --> 01:44:30,683
♪ Broke to the left
We don't want it♪
1877
01:44:30,786 --> 01:44:32,961
♪ I'm the one they love to hate
But they can't get past♪
1878
01:44:33,064 --> 01:44:36,205
♪ Pretty face, no waist
And a big old back♪
1879
01:44:36,309 --> 01:44:38,242
♪ Bad chick
I could be your fantasy♪
1880
01:44:38,346 --> 01:44:40,486
♪ I can tell you got
Big, big energy♪
1881
01:44:40,589 --> 01:44:42,695
♪ It ain't too many of 'em
That can handle me♪
1882
01:44:42,798 --> 01:44:44,766
♪ But I might let you try it
Off the Hennessy♪
1883
01:44:44,869 --> 01:44:47,044
♪ Make 'em sing to this thing
Like a melody♪
1884
01:44:47,147 --> 01:44:49,495
♪ And if your girl ain't right
I got the remedy♪
1885
01:44:49,598 --> 01:44:51,738
♪ It ain't too many of 'em
That can handle me♪
1886
01:44:51,842 --> 01:44:54,258
♪ Bad chick
I could be your fantasy♪
1887
01:44:54,362 --> 01:44:58,193
♪ Got that real big energy...♪
1888
01:45:00,022 --> 01:45:02,473
[wind chimes tinkling]
1889
01:45:05,994 --> 01:45:07,478
Psst!
1890
01:45:08,134 --> 01:45:09,618
Psst.
1891
01:45:10,585 --> 01:45:11,586
Psst.
1892
01:45:13,657 --> 01:45:14,623
Mother--
1893
01:45:14,727 --> 01:45:16,453
You were dead.
1894
01:45:16,556 --> 01:45:19,421
Your brains came out
of your face and hit
the back of my throat.
1895
01:45:19,525 --> 01:45:22,079
-He was in my mouth.
-Don't say he was in your mouth.
1896
01:45:22,182 --> 01:45:23,805
-I could taste you.
-Don't ever say that.
1897
01:45:23,908 --> 01:45:29,086
We only use 10% of our brain,
so I just switched
to another 10%.
1898
01:45:29,189 --> 01:45:32,020
[whispers]
So, you're okay?
1899
01:45:32,123 --> 01:45:33,815
One hundred percent.
1900
01:45:33,918 --> 01:45:35,403
Meaning 10%.
1901
01:45:35,506 --> 01:45:37,266
We thought you were dead.
1902
01:45:37,370 --> 01:45:40,097
Naturally,
I have some anger issues
I need to let go of.
1903
01:45:40,200 --> 01:45:42,548
[Loretta] Of course.And resentment.
1904
01:45:44,446 --> 01:45:45,792
So good to see you, man.
1905
01:45:45,896 --> 01:45:47,967
[instructor] Okay,
let's keep the chatter down.
1906
01:45:48,070 --> 01:45:52,454
We're closing our eyes
and reconnecting to our breath.
1907
01:45:53,524 --> 01:45:54,629
Great.
1908
01:45:55,457 --> 01:45:56,458
Great.144338
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