All language subtitles for Kaamelott.First.Installment.2021.1080p.BluRay.x264.AAC5.1-[YTS.MX]
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Downloaded from
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Official YIFY movies site:
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The kingdom of logres,
4
00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:36,417
stretching from
caledonia to aquitaine,
5
00:00:36,626 --> 00:00:40,334
is ruled by the tyrannical
Lancelot of the lake.
6
00:00:45,001 --> 00:00:48,084
For years, Lancelot has used
Saxon mercenaries
7
00:00:48,292 --> 00:00:50,001
to hunt his sworn enemy,
8
00:00:50,209 --> 00:00:53,042
Arthur pendragon.
9
00:01:05,084 --> 00:01:07,501
They're surrendering!
10
00:01:12,626 --> 00:01:15,876
Get up! Prepare to board!
11
00:01:36,709 --> 00:01:39,959
The red sea, 484
12
00:01:45,376 --> 00:01:46,501
Thank you.
13
00:01:47,001 --> 00:01:48,334
Are you the captain?
14
00:01:52,126 --> 00:01:53,126
There.
15
00:01:53,292 --> 00:01:55,001
I know.
16
00:01:55,376 --> 00:01:58,251
It's harsh.
Yes, it's really harsh.
17
00:01:58,459 --> 00:02:01,167
It's a pretty strong message,
no denying it,
18
00:02:01,376 --> 00:02:05,876
but it reveals fierce determination,
on the one hand,
19
00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:08,626
and, on the other,
utter inflexibility.
20
00:02:08,834 --> 00:02:10,209
What's in the hold?
21
00:02:10,709 --> 00:02:11,709
Dates.
22
00:02:13,251 --> 00:02:15,042
I'll be honest with you.
23
00:02:15,251 --> 00:02:18,167
I'm not at all keen
on maritime journeys.
24
00:02:18,376 --> 00:02:22,667
The mere idea that I've wasted
eleven days at sea pursuing you
25
00:02:22,876 --> 00:02:23,876
for dates...
26
00:02:26,167 --> 00:02:27,751
Reload, please.
27
00:02:27,959 --> 00:02:30,834
Sad to say,
I fear we must use it again.
28
00:02:31,042 --> 00:02:33,292
Go and see. Only dates.
29
00:02:37,917 --> 00:02:40,251
Dates, no doubt about it.
30
00:02:41,751 --> 00:02:43,917
I was told, "the plonkers..."
31
00:02:44,126 --> 00:02:46,001
That's what they called you.
32
00:02:46,459 --> 00:02:50,876
"The plonkers have put all their money
in a magnificent necklace
33
00:02:51,084 --> 00:02:55,042
made by one of the finest jewellers
in tapharon."
34
00:02:56,542 --> 00:02:57,709
Any bells ringing?
35
00:02:57,917 --> 00:03:00,084
A magnificent necklace? Tapharon?
36
00:03:05,542 --> 00:03:08,501
Mind you,
I'd never hide a magnificent necklace
37
00:03:09,042 --> 00:03:10,834
in a barrel of dates.
38
00:03:17,751 --> 00:03:19,001
There.
39
00:03:20,834 --> 00:03:21,917
We're leaving.
40
00:03:26,501 --> 00:03:29,751
Kaame/ott, isle of britain
41
00:03:31,959 --> 00:03:33,542
headquarters
42
00:03:38,001 --> 00:03:39,834
that's all damn Greek to us!
43
00:03:40,042 --> 00:03:42,709
We've been telling you
for ten years now,
44
00:03:42,917 --> 00:03:45,126
we don't speak Saxon.
45
00:03:45,334 --> 00:03:48,334
If we for kaamelott fight,
46
00:03:48,542 --> 00:03:50,459
we need money!
47
00:03:50,667 --> 00:03:53,084
No fighting, ninny!
48
00:03:53,292 --> 00:03:54,834
We're stony broke!
49
00:03:55,042 --> 00:03:56,959
Can't we pay an interpreter?
50
00:03:57,167 --> 00:03:58,292
Don't you start!
51
00:03:58,501 --> 00:04:02,042
Do I have to spell it out?
We can't pay for anything at all!
52
00:04:03,001 --> 00:04:04,167
Shit!
53
00:04:14,001 --> 00:04:15,167
Horsa!
54
00:04:33,126 --> 00:04:36,959
Why serve kaamelott
if we get nothing out of it?
55
00:04:37,417 --> 00:04:40,584
You serve the quest for the grail,
my hearties.
56
00:04:40,792 --> 00:04:42,251
You'll gain prestige.
57
00:04:43,667 --> 00:04:44,667
Prestige?
58
00:04:47,459 --> 00:04:48,876
And they laugh!
59
00:04:49,084 --> 00:04:51,501
Prestige puts them in stitches.
60
00:04:51,709 --> 00:04:53,251
We don't seek the grail.
61
00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:55,709
We do dirty work. Taxes. Raids.
62
00:04:55,917 --> 00:04:56,917
Arrests.
63
00:04:56,959 --> 00:04:58,792
And this endless hunt
64
00:04:59,001 --> 00:05:00,876
for the knights of the round table.
65
00:05:01,084 --> 00:05:04,584
The hunt goes on
until you find them all.
66
00:05:04,792 --> 00:05:06,584
So pay dough!
67
00:05:07,167 --> 00:05:10,834
You know, we saxons
can be very accommodating.
68
00:05:11,501 --> 00:05:13,501
If there is no dough left,
69
00:05:13,917 --> 00:05:16,251
we'll gladly settle for...
70
00:05:18,334 --> 00:05:19,334
This!
71
00:05:22,417 --> 00:05:24,709
- What is it?
- The isle of thanet?
72
00:05:25,376 --> 00:05:26,834
Thanet is yours.
73
00:05:27,042 --> 00:05:28,334
- Really?
- What?
74
00:05:28,542 --> 00:05:29,542
I have to check.
75
00:05:29,667 --> 00:05:31,459
Check what? It's yours.
76
00:05:31,667 --> 00:05:33,459
You don't know you own it?
77
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,417
Never heard of it.
78
00:05:35,626 --> 00:05:38,084
You can cede it then.
You won't miss it.
79
00:05:38,292 --> 00:05:40,001
- No.
- Cede it? Madness!
80
00:05:40,209 --> 00:05:41,959
Cede logres land to saxons?
81
00:05:42,167 --> 00:05:43,584
Your previous ruler
82
00:05:43,792 --> 00:05:45,792
would never have agreed.
83
00:05:46,834 --> 00:05:47,626
Yes,
84
00:05:47,834 --> 00:05:50,792
it would be simpler
if we had the right to say
85
00:05:51,001 --> 00:05:52,417
king Arthur.
86
00:05:54,459 --> 00:05:57,334
My lord Lancelot!
You were there?
87
00:06:05,042 --> 00:06:08,834
Don't rise to the bait.
He's just provoking you.
88
00:06:12,709 --> 00:06:14,292
What are you doing?
89
00:06:14,501 --> 00:06:16,251
Don't carve up logres.
90
00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:17,917
It'll insult the gods.
91
00:06:18,334 --> 00:06:20,292
Sire, you can't do it.
92
00:06:21,834 --> 00:06:22,834
I can.
93
00:07:08,501 --> 00:07:09,917
Hey, alzagar.
94
00:07:10,334 --> 00:07:11,584
How's tricks?
95
00:07:11,792 --> 00:07:12,959
Venec.
96
00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:15,126
Venec the fennec!
97
00:07:16,709 --> 00:07:20,042
Working in merchant shipping now?
98
00:07:20,709 --> 00:07:23,792
I simply paid these dicks
for my crossing.
99
00:07:24,001 --> 00:07:26,292
Barrel class must come cheap.
100
00:07:26,501 --> 00:07:28,292
He hid when he saw you!
101
00:07:28,501 --> 00:07:29,792
Thought I'd fight?
102
00:07:30,001 --> 00:07:31,959
- Screw you!
- He hid
103
00:07:32,459 --> 00:07:34,084
as he has a price on his head.
104
00:07:34,542 --> 00:07:36,292
How much? 110? 120?
105
00:07:36,501 --> 00:07:38,209
Alive, 140.
106
00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:41,584
140 solidi!
107
00:07:42,959 --> 00:07:44,417
You buffoons!
108
00:07:44,626 --> 00:07:47,542
You look smart now
with this junk worth 30!
109
00:07:48,959 --> 00:07:50,584
140 solidi
110
00:07:50,792 --> 00:07:54,459
for a schemer who runs dog fights
at three coins a round?
111
00:07:55,334 --> 00:07:57,501
Because up north, in kaamelott,
112
00:07:57,709 --> 00:07:59,001
they have questions for him.
113
00:07:59,209 --> 00:08:01,251
Well, one question.
114
00:08:02,417 --> 00:08:03,417
Where is...
115
00:08:03,959 --> 00:08:06,542
Arthur pendragon?
116
00:08:12,042 --> 00:08:14,584
Leuke k ome, smugglers ' port
117
00:08:18,751 --> 00:08:20,251
isn't he wanted?
118
00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:23,376
Not now I've found him. Well?
119
00:08:24,376 --> 00:08:25,376
Well what?
120
00:08:25,417 --> 00:08:27,001
Do you remember or not?
121
00:08:28,584 --> 00:08:30,084
I sell 30 slaves a week.
122
00:08:30,667 --> 00:08:32,334
You expect me to remember one
123
00:08:32,542 --> 00:08:34,167
from how long ago?
124
00:08:34,376 --> 00:08:36,084
Eight or nine years now.
125
00:08:39,251 --> 00:08:41,834
I sold him to you and that's rare.
126
00:08:42,042 --> 00:08:44,751
He'd fled Rome.
You said you'd sell him here.
127
00:08:44,959 --> 00:08:46,667
Short, pale as a buttock,
128
00:08:47,042 --> 00:08:48,376
with scarred wrists
129
00:08:48,584 --> 00:08:50,251
and a beard to his arse.
130
00:08:50,667 --> 00:08:52,626
- No?
- I don't recall him.
131
00:08:54,501 --> 00:08:55,501
Who is he?
132
00:08:55,584 --> 00:08:58,001
- Nobody. A tramp.
- Sure.
133
00:08:58,209 --> 00:09:01,042
You sail 17 days
without rest for a tramp? You?
134
00:09:04,876 --> 00:09:05,876
City.
135
00:09:06,167 --> 00:09:08,167
Impetuous chequering...
136
00:09:08,376 --> 00:09:09,959
Where dost thou live
137
00:09:10,167 --> 00:09:11,167
daring architect?
138
00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:13,792
Where is he
or do I slit your throat?
139
00:09:17,542 --> 00:09:19,876
If I don't recall, I don't recall.
140
00:09:20,084 --> 00:09:23,542
If I did recall,
I'd tell you to piss off anyway.
141
00:09:24,001 --> 00:09:27,084
So now,
take your clowns and set sail.
142
00:09:29,792 --> 00:09:32,584
Need a beating to get you started?
143
00:09:42,792 --> 00:09:44,417
Ok, bambinos!
144
00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:48,167
If I understood right,
we can hit the jackpot.
145
00:09:49,251 --> 00:09:51,626
Pray to Mercury
and bring clean briefs!
146
00:09:53,626 --> 00:09:54,917
We're moving out!
147
00:09:55,126 --> 00:09:56,834
- Moving out?
- Where to?
148
00:09:57,042 --> 00:09:58,417
A seven-day walk.
149
00:09:58,792 --> 00:10:00,917
- How long?
- A seven-day walk.
150
00:10:01,126 --> 00:10:02,126
Seven?
151
00:10:02,251 --> 00:10:04,376
What are we looking for
seven days away?
152
00:10:07,376 --> 00:10:09,917
Not what, but who.
153
00:10:53,584 --> 00:10:55,292
Reeking curs, my feet are dead.
154
00:10:55,792 --> 00:10:58,292
I'm glad, my sandals held up well.
155
00:10:59,209 --> 00:11:00,792
Are they new sandals?
156
00:11:01,001 --> 00:11:02,876
No, my old ones, but I added...
157
00:11:03,084 --> 00:11:06,792
Sorry, lads, can we dial down
the bullshit here?
158
00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:09,584
We talk cos you don't.
159
00:11:09,792 --> 00:11:11,417
Or only in riddles.
160
00:11:12,126 --> 00:11:13,751
Such as this, say.
161
00:11:14,292 --> 00:11:15,667
Isn't it a coin from logres?
162
00:11:16,417 --> 00:11:17,417
It is.
163
00:11:17,709 --> 00:11:20,251
So that is king Lancelot.
164
00:11:22,167 --> 00:11:24,584
That's the old king on the coin.
165
00:11:25,417 --> 00:11:26,417
The old one?
166
00:11:27,376 --> 00:11:30,667
A great king. A truly great king.
167
00:11:31,042 --> 00:11:32,334
As great as ataquf?
168
00:11:34,584 --> 00:11:38,334
What's that to do with us
slogging along like donkeys?
169
00:11:39,584 --> 00:11:40,834
You want to know?
170
00:11:44,792 --> 00:11:45,917
Screw you.
171
00:12:02,001 --> 00:12:03,126
Damian!
172
00:12:06,042 --> 00:12:07,042
Damian!
173
00:12:07,626 --> 00:12:09,251
- Quarto?
- Hi, guys.
174
00:12:09,959 --> 00:12:11,709
Ave, Damian.
175
00:12:11,917 --> 00:12:13,626
Still into nanny goats?
176
00:12:13,834 --> 00:12:15,459
I hear business is booming.
177
00:12:16,001 --> 00:12:17,209
If you're dealing,
178
00:12:17,626 --> 00:12:19,084
my crews are full.
179
00:12:19,292 --> 00:12:20,542
I don't need slaves.
180
00:12:20,751 --> 00:12:22,501
No, today is different.
181
00:12:23,001 --> 00:12:25,459
I'm not selling, I'm buying.
182
00:12:26,376 --> 00:12:27,459
Buying?
183
00:12:28,042 --> 00:12:31,459
Nine years ago,
I sold you a scabby wretch.
184
00:12:34,251 --> 00:12:36,959
Scarred wrists,
beard down to his bollocks.
185
00:12:40,334 --> 00:12:42,042
- A sort of tramp.
- What?
186
00:12:42,251 --> 00:12:43,459
He was worth a bomb!
187
00:12:44,001 --> 00:12:45,001
Shut up, you.
188
00:12:49,001 --> 00:12:50,459
Why did we bother?
189
00:12:50,667 --> 00:12:52,334
Shut the hell up too!
190
00:12:52,709 --> 00:12:53,959
Dumb visigoths.
191
00:12:54,167 --> 00:12:55,667
No wonder we joke about you.
192
00:12:58,792 --> 00:13:00,959
I don't know who you mean.
193
00:13:01,167 --> 00:13:02,917
Take a minute to think.
194
00:13:03,417 --> 00:13:06,376
If you still have him,
I'll take him.
195
00:13:06,792 --> 00:13:08,709
Amicably, for cash.
196
00:13:09,542 --> 00:13:12,584
Or less amicably,
with your shit on fire.
197
00:13:21,876 --> 00:13:23,084
Get it off!
198
00:13:23,709 --> 00:13:24,709
Stop him!
199
00:13:24,792 --> 00:13:25,834
- Catch him!
- Wait.
200
00:13:26,042 --> 00:13:27,042
Get it off me!
201
00:13:27,251 --> 00:13:30,042
I'll free him if I want.
202
00:13:30,251 --> 00:13:32,001
You don't know who he is!
203
00:13:33,126 --> 00:13:35,126
Dive in after him, idiot!
204
00:13:41,084 --> 00:13:43,626
- Can't he swim?
- He's swimming.
205
00:13:45,417 --> 00:13:47,834
Follow the bank. Move yourself!
206
00:13:49,834 --> 00:13:51,167
Catch him on the...
207
00:13:51,792 --> 00:13:52,834
Got him?
208
00:14:01,042 --> 00:14:02,959
I cut my foot on the rocks.
209
00:14:03,167 --> 00:14:05,626
Look at this!
It pierced my sandal!
210
00:14:57,417 --> 00:14:59,001
Good evening, sire.
211
00:15:04,334 --> 00:15:09,334
Fortress of came/iard, isle of britain
212
00:15:10,417 --> 00:15:12,542
talk about a surprise!
213
00:15:13,126 --> 00:15:15,042
It's been donkey's ages.
214
00:15:15,251 --> 00:15:16,501
Since last time,
215
00:15:16,709 --> 00:15:18,126
the place has changed.
216
00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:20,167
Not really. What's different?
217
00:15:20,376 --> 00:15:22,251
There wasn't a castle before.
218
00:15:24,876 --> 00:15:26,501
Yes, maybe.
219
00:15:28,209 --> 00:15:29,209
I'm just saying
220
00:15:29,417 --> 00:15:30,834
your visits are rare.
221
00:15:31,334 --> 00:15:33,209
But we're not complaining.
222
00:15:33,417 --> 00:15:36,959
Visits here must be spaced out
like strawberry plants.
223
00:15:37,167 --> 00:15:38,751
Enough chit-chat.
224
00:15:38,959 --> 00:15:41,126
Let's not get maudlin.
225
00:15:41,334 --> 00:15:42,959
What brings you here?
226
00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:46,834
Please fetch me water
and summon everyone.
227
00:15:47,042 --> 00:15:49,251
I have something to show you.
228
00:15:55,251 --> 00:15:57,376
- Got a minute?
- No way.
229
00:15:57,584 --> 00:15:58,667
Slugs to squash
230
00:15:58,876 --> 00:16:00,834
and bindweed to hoe!
231
00:16:01,042 --> 00:16:02,834
You hoe bindweed now? Good.
232
00:16:03,042 --> 00:16:07,501
- I usually do it alone.
- So I'm not the only hoer.
233
00:16:07,709 --> 00:16:08,709
The only hoer?
234
00:16:08,834 --> 00:16:10,334
You hoe at night? Unseen?
235
00:16:10,542 --> 00:16:12,251
Forget the bloody Greens
236
00:16:12,459 --> 00:16:13,459
and come in!
237
00:16:13,542 --> 00:16:15,667
- Your sister's here!
- My sister?
238
00:16:16,251 --> 00:16:17,584
You have a sister?
239
00:16:19,209 --> 00:16:20,584
I told you.
240
00:16:21,042 --> 00:16:23,751
You bore people.
So they keep quiet.
241
00:16:24,292 --> 00:16:25,292
I have a sister.
242
00:16:25,376 --> 00:16:28,376
Like other stuff
I see no need to tell you.
243
00:16:28,584 --> 00:16:30,292
Stop being surprised.
244
00:16:30,501 --> 00:16:32,542
Get in here!
245
00:16:34,251 --> 00:16:35,251
Your hubby...
246
00:16:35,709 --> 00:16:38,042
- Does he miss war?
- No chance.
247
00:16:38,584 --> 00:16:40,042
He's no Hannibal.
248
00:16:40,501 --> 00:16:43,209
He's what they call
a "moderate".
249
00:16:43,417 --> 00:16:44,626
Demilitarization
250
00:16:44,834 --> 00:16:48,209
was almost what he needed
to realize himself.
251
00:16:48,417 --> 00:16:51,084
What he needs to realize himself
are tits.
252
00:16:52,251 --> 00:16:53,251
He hates war.
253
00:16:53,292 --> 00:16:54,292
That's what I said.
254
00:16:54,334 --> 00:16:56,334
Do you goons like war?
255
00:16:56,709 --> 00:16:59,209
Are you rabid killers
with your celery bed
256
00:16:59,417 --> 00:17:00,876
and peasant garb?
257
00:17:02,042 --> 00:17:03,459
What peasant garb?
258
00:17:03,667 --> 00:17:05,042
Heard of resistance?
259
00:17:05,501 --> 00:17:07,209
Before weeding,
260
00:17:07,417 --> 00:17:08,417
you considered it.
261
00:17:08,626 --> 00:17:10,959
Resist that maniac Lancelot...
262
00:17:11,167 --> 00:17:12,459
Even without a coup,
263
00:17:13,001 --> 00:17:16,167
we could do less weeding
and more scheming.
264
00:17:19,084 --> 00:17:20,084
What's that?
265
00:17:20,209 --> 00:17:23,334
A basin my father-in-law uses
for foot baths.
266
00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:25,334
Nothing else works.
267
00:17:26,209 --> 00:17:28,042
Nothing else works for what?
268
00:17:28,251 --> 00:17:29,251
Hydromancy.
269
00:17:29,667 --> 00:17:30,459
Hydro what?
270
00:17:30,667 --> 00:17:32,709
Mancy. Divination by water.
271
00:17:39,001 --> 00:17:40,042
There.
272
00:17:47,792 --> 00:17:48,792
What is it?
273
00:17:49,292 --> 00:17:51,417
- Something's there.
- Shit?
274
00:17:51,959 --> 00:17:54,292
- Marks.
- Marks of shit.
275
00:17:54,501 --> 00:17:56,167
Tell us what you see.
276
00:17:57,209 --> 00:18:00,292
Pendragon's son
on his way to britain.
277
00:18:00,709 --> 00:18:01,709
That's what.
278
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:06,167
Coming from the south.
279
00:18:09,417 --> 00:18:12,084
Frankly,
seeing pendragon's son coming
280
00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:13,292
from the south
281
00:18:13,417 --> 00:18:15,001
needs sharp eyes!
282
00:18:17,292 --> 00:18:18,501
Believe what you will.
283
00:18:18,709 --> 00:18:19,501
You bet.
284
00:18:19,709 --> 00:18:21,834
His return is announced
three times a year.
285
00:18:22,042 --> 00:18:24,167
- Like hail.
- Ten years since he left.
286
00:18:24,376 --> 00:18:25,959
The guy's snuffed it.
287
00:18:26,167 --> 00:18:28,626
Even if he came back, what then?
288
00:18:29,001 --> 00:18:30,667
He'd organize the resistance.
289
00:18:30,876 --> 00:18:33,542
So logistics is our problem?
290
00:18:34,084 --> 00:18:35,084
We've no weapons!
291
00:18:35,417 --> 00:18:36,709
Not even a spud-peeler!
292
00:18:36,917 --> 00:18:39,876
Mangonels, trebuchets,
scorpions, onagers...
293
00:18:40,084 --> 00:18:41,876
Tuned by byzantine engineers
294
00:18:42,084 --> 00:18:43,667
from thessaloniki.
295
00:18:43,876 --> 00:18:45,667
My arsenal whisked off
296
00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:47,251
to kaamelott!
297
00:18:47,459 --> 00:18:49,584
Not one slingshot left.
298
00:18:49,792 --> 00:18:51,334
Pendragon's son is back?
299
00:18:51,751 --> 00:18:52,959
Let him come.
300
00:18:53,376 --> 00:18:56,001
He can hoe
to make the trip worth it.
301
00:18:58,792 --> 00:19:00,042
You can clear off
302
00:19:00,251 --> 00:19:02,167
if dad-in-law wants a foot bath
303
00:19:02,376 --> 00:19:03,626
and needs his basin.
304
00:19:20,001 --> 00:19:23,167
Hispano-a quitaine border
305
00:19:23,959 --> 00:19:26,084
you really won't utter a word?
306
00:19:26,292 --> 00:19:28,042
I've pushed you for weeks.
307
00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:30,042
No reaction.
308
00:19:30,251 --> 00:19:31,459
No interaction.
309
00:19:31,667 --> 00:19:33,334
Except at the pass.
310
00:19:33,542 --> 00:19:36,042
I said it was cold,
you threw your soup at me.
311
00:19:36,251 --> 00:19:37,751
Venec, shut up.
312
00:19:37,959 --> 00:19:39,459
I'm not being loud.
313
00:19:39,667 --> 00:19:40,667
Just be quiet.
314
00:19:49,376 --> 00:19:51,626
- Halt.
- Hola, guard!
315
00:19:51,834 --> 00:19:55,001
- What's in there?
- Prisoners I'm taking to vannes.
316
00:19:55,376 --> 00:19:56,792
- We're in order.
- No!
317
00:19:57,001 --> 00:19:58,001
Not at all.
318
00:19:58,167 --> 00:20:00,251
He's taking slaves to logres.
319
00:20:00,459 --> 00:20:02,001
We're stolen goods.
320
00:20:02,209 --> 00:20:03,376
Ignore him.
321
00:20:03,584 --> 00:20:05,126
Noisy, but not mean.
322
00:20:05,334 --> 00:20:06,334
Who said that?
323
00:20:06,376 --> 00:20:08,709
I belong to master Damian sasnian.
324
00:20:08,917 --> 00:20:10,584
I was kidnapped!
325
00:20:10,792 --> 00:20:12,501
Don't let smuggled goods in.
326
00:20:12,709 --> 00:20:14,542
Aquitaine breaking laws?
327
00:20:14,751 --> 00:20:15,542
That's new!
328
00:20:15,751 --> 00:20:16,959
Arrest us, guard!
329
00:20:17,167 --> 00:20:18,959
Arrest us! Arrest us!
330
00:20:23,667 --> 00:20:25,542
Sorry for all this racket.
331
00:20:25,751 --> 00:20:28,417
Trust me and let us through.
332
00:20:29,042 --> 00:20:31,001
I'll take my prisoners
333
00:20:31,209 --> 00:20:32,876
to the fortress in vannes
334
00:20:33,084 --> 00:20:36,126
and you'll never hear
another peep from us!
335
00:20:36,334 --> 00:20:37,774
The duchess of aquitaine is a whore!
336
00:20:40,834 --> 00:20:42,626
That'll get us arrested.
337
00:20:42,834 --> 00:20:43,834
Whore
338
00:20:44,126 --> 00:20:45,834
in the nicest way.
339
00:20:46,376 --> 00:20:47,792
Arrest these morons.
340
00:20:48,001 --> 00:20:51,042
They just want to provoke you.
341
00:20:51,251 --> 00:20:53,917
Ok, but I'm a sucker for provocation.
342
00:20:54,126 --> 00:20:55,376
Uncage the slave
343
00:20:55,584 --> 00:20:57,251
and line up.
344
00:20:57,459 --> 00:20:59,459
Take them to the Duke of aquitaine.
345
00:21:00,042 --> 00:21:00,834
Not bad.
346
00:21:01,042 --> 00:21:02,959
After insulting the duchess,
347
00:21:03,542 --> 00:21:05,376
they'll get a fine welcome.
348
00:21:05,584 --> 00:21:06,834
Hi, guys!
349
00:21:07,042 --> 00:21:08,167
Hi, guys?
350
00:21:08,709 --> 00:21:09,501
I was insulted.
351
00:21:09,709 --> 00:21:10,709
It's ok.
352
00:21:11,209 --> 00:21:13,209
What did you call her? A minx?
353
00:21:13,417 --> 00:21:14,209
A whore.
354
00:21:14,417 --> 00:21:15,626
Yes, well...
355
00:21:16,542 --> 00:21:17,334
I know you!
356
00:21:17,542 --> 00:21:18,542
Incredible.
357
00:21:18,584 --> 00:21:21,417
- I sold you Indians for a party.
- Kashmir dream.
358
00:21:22,751 --> 00:21:24,209
A big hit.
359
00:21:24,417 --> 00:21:25,417
And you...
360
00:21:25,501 --> 00:21:29,292
Duke, I know that this person
is your former sovereign
361
00:21:29,501 --> 00:21:30,959
but, if! May,
362
00:21:31,167 --> 00:21:33,542
he's my prisoner now.
363
00:21:33,751 --> 00:21:35,417
Yes, so I heard.
364
00:21:36,126 --> 00:21:38,126
- Your price?
- What?
365
00:21:38,334 --> 00:21:39,792
As a bounty hunter,
366
00:21:40,001 --> 00:21:41,792
you expect money.
367
00:21:42,001 --> 00:21:44,084
Well, if this wastrel
368
00:21:44,292 --> 00:21:47,334
is worth 140 solidi,
369
00:21:47,542 --> 00:21:50,084
for this one, quite frankly,
370
00:21:50,292 --> 00:21:53,584
kaamelott won't pay less than...
371
00:21:54,501 --> 00:21:55,751
A thousand.
372
00:22:00,542 --> 00:22:01,542
In that case...
373
00:22:02,167 --> 00:22:03,167
I'll pay...
374
00:22:03,542 --> 00:22:04,542
Twice that.
375
00:22:04,584 --> 00:22:05,917
Twice that?
376
00:22:06,542 --> 00:22:07,542
You're mad.
377
00:22:07,751 --> 00:22:08,751
Don't worry.
378
00:22:08,876 --> 00:22:10,542
Half our fortune, moron!
379
00:22:10,751 --> 00:22:12,417
Pay this clown 2,000?
380
00:22:12,834 --> 00:22:14,209
In memory of the old days.
381
00:22:14,792 --> 00:22:15,834
At that price...
382
00:22:16,042 --> 00:22:17,334
There, it's a deal!
383
00:22:17,542 --> 00:22:18,751
Excellent.
384
00:22:18,959 --> 00:22:22,292
He'll pay 2,000
for the most wanted guy
385
00:22:22,501 --> 00:22:23,501
in the realm?
386
00:22:23,626 --> 00:22:25,667
Most wanted guys aren't cheap!
387
00:22:25,876 --> 00:22:26,876
There.
388
00:22:27,334 --> 00:22:30,167
How will Lancelot react to you
nabbing Arthur?
389
00:22:30,376 --> 00:22:32,334
Lancelot... he's far away.
390
00:22:32,542 --> 00:22:33,542
He's the king.
391
00:22:34,001 --> 00:22:35,001
He isn't.
392
00:22:35,084 --> 00:22:38,417
Not until he pulls the sword
from the stone.
393
00:22:38,626 --> 00:22:39,792
And that...
394
00:22:40,001 --> 00:22:42,084
That's not likely to happen.
395
00:22:42,834 --> 00:22:44,251
It'll take a while.
396
00:22:47,584 --> 00:22:50,251
Sorry, it's our beauty
and well-being day,
397
00:22:50,459 --> 00:22:51,709
with a fruit detox.
398
00:22:51,917 --> 00:22:53,584
We weren't expecting you.
399
00:22:53,792 --> 00:22:55,876
We thought you were dead.
400
00:22:56,084 --> 00:22:57,459
Yes, well...
401
00:22:57,667 --> 00:22:59,417
That really upset me.
402
00:22:59,626 --> 00:23:02,001
The missus is less...
403
00:23:02,209 --> 00:23:03,209
Watch it.
404
00:23:03,334 --> 00:23:04,334
What?
405
00:23:04,501 --> 00:23:05,792
Watch what you say.
406
00:23:06,292 --> 00:23:07,292
You're back
407
00:23:07,501 --> 00:23:09,042
and that's good news,
408
00:23:09,251 --> 00:23:11,126
especially for the britons
409
00:23:11,334 --> 00:23:12,334
who are gasping.
410
00:23:13,959 --> 00:23:14,959
Meaning?
411
00:23:15,126 --> 00:23:16,584
It's an image.
412
00:23:17,126 --> 00:23:18,126
They aren't
413
00:23:18,209 --> 00:23:19,584
literally gasping.
414
00:23:22,167 --> 00:23:23,292
They're drained.
415
00:23:25,209 --> 00:23:26,292
Same thing...
416
00:23:26,501 --> 00:23:27,542
A vampire
417
00:23:28,542 --> 00:23:30,459
didn't drain them
418
00:23:30,667 --> 00:23:32,417
of their blood...
419
00:23:32,626 --> 00:23:35,501
What do you mean exactly
by "you're back"?
420
00:23:36,126 --> 00:23:37,834
You could be king again.
421
00:23:38,792 --> 00:23:39,792
What?
422
00:23:41,542 --> 00:23:43,417
Sorry, it crossed all our minds.
423
00:23:44,334 --> 00:23:45,334
No kidding.
424
00:23:45,376 --> 00:23:47,292
You suddenly pop up again
425
00:23:47,501 --> 00:23:50,751
with logres oppressed
by a tyrannical maniac.
426
00:23:50,959 --> 00:23:53,042
So, yes, it's a good idea.
427
00:23:53,251 --> 00:23:55,042
It's up to you.
428
00:23:55,626 --> 00:23:57,584
No one will force you.
429
00:23:58,209 --> 00:23:59,209
A good job too.
430
00:23:59,417 --> 00:24:04,042
I'd go to Egypt in that jerk's cage
rather than return to britain.
431
00:24:04,251 --> 00:24:05,251
I'm the jerk?
432
00:24:05,292 --> 00:24:07,334
I have to push the jerk's cage.
433
00:24:07,542 --> 00:24:08,626
You can rest in it now.
434
00:24:08,834 --> 00:24:10,792
So I have to push it?
435
00:24:11,001 --> 00:24:13,042
If you're not back, then what?
436
00:24:13,251 --> 00:24:14,626
You'll stay here?
437
00:24:17,126 --> 00:24:18,959
Please find me clean gear.
438
00:24:24,292 --> 00:24:25,376
Then again,
439
00:24:25,584 --> 00:24:26,917
if I get my 2,000...
440
00:24:28,709 --> 00:24:31,542
I can offer these as clean clothes.
441
00:24:32,126 --> 00:24:34,209
Elegant, sophisticated, comfy.
442
00:24:35,126 --> 00:24:39,376
I have this one in Doe-belly beige
and wear it all the time.
443
00:24:39,584 --> 00:24:42,751
Duke, every bounty hunter around
is on my back.
444
00:24:42,959 --> 00:24:44,251
That's a bit showy.
445
00:24:44,459 --> 00:24:45,792
Everything I have
446
00:24:46,001 --> 00:24:47,626
is a bit like this.
447
00:24:47,834 --> 00:24:49,876
- And that?
- That? Go.
448
00:24:50,084 --> 00:24:51,834
No, that's decoration.
449
00:24:52,042 --> 00:24:53,834
They say it was your father's.
450
00:24:54,042 --> 00:24:55,667
So I added a bear.
451
00:24:55,876 --> 00:24:57,042
An installation.
452
00:24:57,584 --> 00:24:59,167
- Artistic.
- My father's?
453
00:24:59,376 --> 00:25:01,626
I contact the resistance fighters?
454
00:25:01,834 --> 00:25:03,042
What fighters?
455
00:25:03,251 --> 00:25:04,417
For his tea party.
456
00:25:04,626 --> 00:25:07,209
I thought it might be interesting
457
00:25:07,417 --> 00:25:09,751
to meet fellows with the resistance.
458
00:25:09,959 --> 00:25:11,542
Something informal.
459
00:25:11,751 --> 00:25:12,751
Unbelievable!
460
00:25:12,876 --> 00:25:15,167
I don't give a damn. Got that?
461
00:25:15,376 --> 00:25:17,667
Screw the resistance.
462
00:25:26,792 --> 00:25:28,459
Screw the resistance,
463
00:25:28,667 --> 00:25:30,001
logres and Lancelot.
464
00:25:30,209 --> 00:25:31,376
Screw the lot.
465
00:25:31,584 --> 00:25:32,667
I'm splitting.
466
00:25:43,334 --> 00:25:45,167
I spent 2,000 solidi
467
00:25:45,376 --> 00:25:47,376
to save you from execution
in kaamelott.
468
00:25:47,584 --> 00:25:50,167
Be more gracious when I suggest tea.
469
00:25:50,376 --> 00:25:52,084
I'll pay you back.
470
00:25:52,292 --> 00:25:54,292
But tea is out.
471
00:25:54,501 --> 00:25:57,667
Moreover,
my wife was called a minx.
472
00:25:57,876 --> 00:25:58,876
A whore.
473
00:25:58,959 --> 00:26:01,167
I leave at dawn for the east.
474
00:26:01,376 --> 00:26:02,626
Find me a guide.
475
00:26:02,834 --> 00:26:04,042
So I cancel?
476
00:26:04,251 --> 00:26:06,834
The cooks ask
if they should buy raisins.
477
00:26:10,167 --> 00:26:11,751
Where are you going?
478
00:26:13,376 --> 00:26:14,584
Wherever I like.
479
00:26:14,792 --> 00:26:17,917
On waking, sir Lancelot,
the bed was empty.
480
00:26:18,126 --> 00:26:21,209
Every minute I spend
in that stupid bed is wasted.
481
00:26:21,417 --> 00:26:22,959
You can say that again.
482
00:26:27,001 --> 00:26:29,417
Your scorn of ridicule is reckless.
483
00:26:29,626 --> 00:26:33,001
I'm not pregnant,
the people talk, you pay no heed.
484
00:26:33,209 --> 00:26:36,584
Remember when your predecessor
couldn't give an heir to...
485
00:26:36,792 --> 00:26:38,167
Don't say that name!
486
00:26:38,542 --> 00:26:39,584
Guinevere.
487
00:26:41,667 --> 00:26:43,626
That's why you won't touch me.
488
00:26:43,834 --> 00:26:45,876
Her memory haunts you.
489
00:26:49,417 --> 00:26:54,001
No memory haunts me,
you ludicrous curly-haired schemer.
490
00:26:54,542 --> 00:26:56,501
The one you mention has vanished.
491
00:26:56,709 --> 00:26:58,584
No one knows where she is.
492
00:26:59,667 --> 00:27:01,501
And no one will ever know.
493
00:27:16,084 --> 00:27:21,751
Ruined inn, isle of britain
494
00:28:34,459 --> 00:28:35,792
No, no, no.
495
00:28:36,709 --> 00:28:38,084
No, enough!
496
00:28:38,292 --> 00:28:40,126
Calm down. It happens.
497
00:28:40,334 --> 00:28:42,251
No, it doesn't happen!
498
00:28:42,459 --> 00:28:43,501
We took a wrong turn.
499
00:28:43,709 --> 00:28:44,959
That's all we do!
500
00:28:45,167 --> 00:28:47,042
Two weeks digging like dicks!
501
00:28:47,251 --> 00:28:48,042
Three.
502
00:28:48,251 --> 00:28:49,834
To return to the main tunnel!
503
00:28:51,709 --> 00:28:53,459
I'm sick of it.
504
00:28:53,667 --> 00:28:55,084
We're totally lost.
505
00:28:55,876 --> 00:28:56,917
I'm tired.
506
00:29:20,251 --> 00:29:21,042
Yeah...
507
00:29:21,251 --> 00:29:22,542
- Smell that?
- Yeah.
508
00:29:22,751 --> 00:29:23,751
I'm not mad?
509
00:29:23,792 --> 00:29:26,251
I smell pillocks!
510
00:29:26,459 --> 00:29:27,459
I agree.
511
00:29:27,501 --> 00:29:28,792
Let's stay calm.
512
00:29:29,001 --> 00:29:30,542
Patience takes time.
513
00:29:30,751 --> 00:29:32,001
Some have questions.
514
00:29:32,209 --> 00:29:33,001
Not you!
515
00:29:33,209 --> 00:29:35,626
If your brother's dumb,
why name him colonel?
516
00:29:35,834 --> 00:29:38,501
Colonel by aroma only, I told you.
517
00:29:38,709 --> 00:29:39,709
To encourage him.
518
00:29:39,751 --> 00:29:40,751
For being dumb?
519
00:29:40,834 --> 00:29:42,542
I can hold 37 plums in my bum!
520
00:29:42,751 --> 00:29:43,751
Enough!
521
00:29:43,917 --> 00:29:45,084
A question.
522
00:29:45,292 --> 00:29:46,292
Don't be shy.
523
00:29:46,501 --> 00:29:48,751
- All questions count.
- We'll answer calmly.
524
00:29:48,959 --> 00:29:50,792
Patience requires no sauce.
525
00:29:56,042 --> 00:29:57,167
Why do we do
526
00:29:57,376 --> 00:29:58,667
everything
527
00:29:59,626 --> 00:30:00,626
underground?
528
00:30:00,667 --> 00:30:01,959
I don't believe it!
529
00:30:02,167 --> 00:30:04,209
Who are these pillocks?
530
00:30:04,417 --> 00:30:05,417
Incredible!
531
00:30:05,584 --> 00:30:08,001
Be quiet!
There's a curfew up above.
532
00:30:08,209 --> 00:30:09,292
The pillocks!
533
00:30:09,501 --> 00:30:10,917
The pillocks!
534
00:30:11,126 --> 00:30:12,209
Unbelievable!
535
00:30:12,417 --> 00:30:14,167
Unbelievable!
536
00:30:14,376 --> 00:30:16,584
If the kaamelott patrol passes,
537
00:30:16,792 --> 00:30:18,167
we've had it.
538
00:30:19,167 --> 00:30:20,167
Kaamelott patrols
539
00:30:20,292 --> 00:30:21,751
are all pillocks!
540
00:30:21,959 --> 00:30:23,709
You'll get us butchered!
541
00:30:23,917 --> 00:30:24,959
Pillocks!
542
00:30:27,667 --> 00:30:30,126
Know what's going on up there?
543
00:30:30,334 --> 00:30:32,834
Do you want to resist above ground?
544
00:30:33,042 --> 00:30:34,042
Very funny!
545
00:30:34,251 --> 00:30:36,417
- I'm splitting my sides.
- Sidestep.
546
00:30:36,626 --> 00:30:38,209
Go on, let's bust a gut.
547
00:30:38,417 --> 00:30:39,417
Gut rot!
548
00:30:39,626 --> 00:30:41,917
Restrictions on light, on travel,
549
00:30:42,126 --> 00:30:45,626
on weapons,
on the number of people in a room.
550
00:30:45,834 --> 00:30:46,834
On string!
551
00:30:47,001 --> 00:30:48,209
- No.
- On food.
552
00:30:48,417 --> 00:30:51,084
No, let's avoid that. I can't...
553
00:30:51,834 --> 00:30:53,959
I don't have the right figures.
554
00:30:56,084 --> 00:30:59,167
After all the tunnel collapses
we've had,
555
00:30:59,376 --> 00:31:01,001
the lack of air
556
00:31:01,209 --> 00:31:02,876
and nearly suffocating...
557
00:31:03,084 --> 00:31:04,292
After all the soil,
558
00:31:04,501 --> 00:31:06,792
you ask why we're underground?
559
00:31:07,209 --> 00:31:08,584
We're underground...
560
00:31:09,209 --> 00:31:11,126
Because it's classy.
561
00:31:11,501 --> 00:31:14,792
Where are the crunchies?
On the isle of britain?
562
00:31:15,001 --> 00:31:16,084
No, my ducklings.
563
00:31:16,292 --> 00:31:17,376
They're...
564
00:31:17,584 --> 00:31:18,792
Under britain!
565
00:31:19,959 --> 00:31:21,209
Take your picks
566
00:31:21,417 --> 00:31:23,917
and dig like real heroes!
567
00:31:24,126 --> 00:31:26,626
Show us your balls, you old women!
568
00:31:26,834 --> 00:31:28,084
Yeah!
569
00:31:41,459 --> 00:31:44,292
Excuse me,
rather than encourage morons
570
00:31:44,501 --> 00:31:48,376
and dig Willy-nilly,
you could perhaps map the tunnels.
571
00:31:49,959 --> 00:31:53,459
When we said,
"let's have Merlin as our magician,"
572
00:31:53,876 --> 00:31:55,959
wasn't he supposed to do magic?
573
00:31:56,167 --> 00:31:59,126
But he never does.
He just nags about maps.
574
00:31:59,334 --> 00:32:02,209
Calm down or we'll have you executed.
575
00:32:23,626 --> 00:32:24,626
Hello, my friend.
576
00:32:24,792 --> 00:32:26,001
Don't "hello'" me!
577
00:32:26,209 --> 00:32:27,626
You got a letter, Guinevere.
578
00:32:27,834 --> 00:32:29,459
My spies are categorical.
579
00:32:29,667 --> 00:32:30,667
A real letter,
580
00:32:30,876 --> 00:32:32,917
with words and all?
581
00:32:33,667 --> 00:32:35,376
By what miracle?
582
00:32:35,584 --> 00:32:37,584
Madam cannot receive mail.
583
00:32:37,792 --> 00:32:40,167
I know, nincompoop, on my order.
584
00:32:40,376 --> 00:32:41,626
And so, no mail.
585
00:32:41,834 --> 00:32:43,209
Hidden in a cake.
586
00:32:43,417 --> 00:32:45,626
Slyly brought here as a treat.
587
00:32:45,834 --> 00:32:48,626
Betrayal!
I'll have the baker's boys hung.
588
00:32:48,834 --> 00:32:50,042
And the fool
589
00:32:50,251 --> 00:32:52,084
courting you so perfidiously
590
00:32:52,292 --> 00:32:54,042
will be punished accordingly.
591
00:32:54,251 --> 00:32:56,417
But I got no letter.
592
00:32:56,626 --> 00:32:58,209
In a cake?
593
00:32:58,667 --> 00:32:59,667
A cake, yes.
594
00:32:59,834 --> 00:33:02,459
Will you both dare to contradict me?
595
00:33:02,667 --> 00:33:05,251
Was it an oblong cake?
596
00:33:05,667 --> 00:33:07,792
- Oblong?
- It wasn't unusual?
597
00:33:08,001 --> 00:33:09,001
A letter in it.
598
00:33:09,042 --> 00:33:10,417
If it was oblong...
599
00:33:10,626 --> 00:33:12,959
I'm not here about the cake's shape!
600
00:33:13,167 --> 00:33:15,667
- I want that letter!
- There isn't one!
601
00:33:15,876 --> 00:33:17,251
Search if you want.
602
00:33:17,459 --> 00:33:20,042
It won't take you long, given the size
603
00:33:20,251 --> 00:33:22,959
of the splendid closet you keep me in.
604
00:33:23,167 --> 00:33:24,167
My dear...
605
00:33:24,292 --> 00:33:25,334
I know.
606
00:33:25,876 --> 00:33:27,126
It lacks appeal,
607
00:33:27,584 --> 00:33:30,209
but it has a number of virtues.
608
00:33:30,876 --> 00:33:32,001
Virtues?
609
00:33:33,376 --> 00:33:34,667
It's discreet,
610
00:33:34,876 --> 00:33:37,126
almost impossible to find
611
00:33:37,334 --> 00:33:38,959
and isolated to discourage flight.
612
00:33:39,167 --> 00:33:40,709
Oh, those virtues.
613
00:33:40,917 --> 00:33:42,376
Shall I summon the decorators again?
614
00:33:42,584 --> 00:33:47,084
No, thank you. We've already tried
red, green, orange...
615
00:33:47,292 --> 00:33:48,334
It stays ugly.
616
00:33:48,542 --> 00:33:50,251
It's a ruined castle.
617
00:33:51,209 --> 00:33:53,459
The old fortress of king ban.
618
00:33:54,334 --> 00:33:56,334
- My father...
- Yes, ruined.
619
00:33:56,542 --> 00:33:57,917
Ruined and haunted!
620
00:33:58,126 --> 00:33:59,126
Come on...
621
00:33:59,167 --> 00:34:00,876
We're both scared to death!
622
00:34:01,084 --> 00:34:05,334
Yes, we see hazy forms at night.
623
00:34:05,542 --> 00:34:07,584
I'm very sorry indeed.
624
00:34:09,792 --> 00:34:11,042
Ask anything of me.
625
00:34:11,417 --> 00:34:12,417
Let me leave.
626
00:34:16,376 --> 00:34:20,751
All right, summon the decorators.
It'll be someone to talk to.
627
00:34:20,959 --> 00:34:22,792
They're not allowed...
628
00:34:35,501 --> 00:34:38,292
Drat, drat, drat...
629
00:34:38,501 --> 00:34:39,501
What?
630
00:34:39,667 --> 00:34:42,959
I wanted to pass farms,
but many of them have gone.
631
00:34:43,167 --> 00:34:44,959
Pass farms?
632
00:34:45,167 --> 00:34:48,626
Yes, I'd have loved
to see the peasants' faces
633
00:34:48,834 --> 00:34:51,417
full of hope
you're back to save them.
634
00:34:51,626 --> 00:34:53,751
Get off my back about that.
635
00:34:53,959 --> 00:34:56,501
The farms have all gone anyway.
636
00:34:56,709 --> 00:34:59,792
Taxes and the saxons
wiped them out one by one.
637
00:35:00,001 --> 00:35:02,376
Duke, I don't give a fig!
638
00:35:02,584 --> 00:35:04,876
Yes, I understand perfectly.
639
00:35:06,209 --> 00:35:07,876
I'm such a dummy.
640
00:35:08,084 --> 00:35:13,209
I nag you about saving logres
when there's nothing left to save.
641
00:35:15,459 --> 00:35:19,251
Did you know Lancelot
sentenced children to death?
642
00:35:19,459 --> 00:35:21,001
You didn't know that?
643
00:35:22,792 --> 00:35:24,001
Here in aquitaine,
644
00:35:24,209 --> 00:35:25,542
things are peaceful.
645
00:35:25,751 --> 00:35:27,667
Kaamelott is far away.
646
00:35:27,876 --> 00:35:29,417
Except for taxes.
647
00:35:29,959 --> 00:35:31,292
Not my concern.
648
00:35:31,501 --> 00:35:33,876
They've increased tenfold.
649
00:35:34,084 --> 00:35:36,084
To pay Saxon mercenaries.
650
00:35:36,292 --> 00:35:37,292
Not my concern.
651
00:35:37,501 --> 00:35:39,626
It's partly your concern
652
00:35:39,834 --> 00:35:42,417
as the saxons are looking for you.
653
00:35:42,626 --> 00:35:45,709
Even so, it's not my concern.
654
00:35:47,792 --> 00:35:49,501
Know what the legend says?
655
00:35:50,251 --> 00:35:52,084
I sense it's not my concern.
656
00:35:55,251 --> 00:35:58,667
That Lancelot didn't seize power
by force,
657
00:35:58,876 --> 00:36:01,376
but that you gave it to him.
658
00:36:14,167 --> 00:36:16,834
A good fire's comforting.
659
00:36:17,542 --> 00:36:20,001
Could you have got
the direction wrong?
660
00:36:20,209 --> 00:36:21,584
You wanted to go east?
661
00:36:21,792 --> 00:36:25,376
Yes, but that's the pole star.
And we came that way.
662
00:36:25,584 --> 00:36:27,792
No, that way, heading east.
663
00:36:28,001 --> 00:36:29,917
No, we're heading north.
664
00:36:31,167 --> 00:36:32,209
Where did you learn
665
00:36:32,417 --> 00:36:35,042
about navigation and the stars?
666
00:36:35,917 --> 00:36:37,001
- Rome.
- Right.
667
00:36:37,209 --> 00:36:39,001
Was the legion awesome?
668
00:36:40,001 --> 00:36:41,167
No, not really.
669
00:36:41,376 --> 00:36:43,084
Are you taking me north?
670
00:36:43,292 --> 00:36:44,501
We're near gaunes.
671
00:36:44,709 --> 00:36:46,292
No, east. Sleep now.
672
00:37:08,167 --> 00:37:09,167
First position!
673
00:37:10,459 --> 00:37:11,751
First!
674
00:37:13,167 --> 00:37:14,167
Second!
675
00:37:15,334 --> 00:37:17,084
Third!
676
00:37:17,959 --> 00:37:20,209
In rhythm!
No two are in Harmony.
677
00:37:20,417 --> 00:37:21,834
Fouflh!
678
00:37:22,251 --> 00:37:23,751
Come on, you cuties!
679
00:37:23,959 --> 00:37:25,334
War is music!
680
00:37:25,542 --> 00:37:28,709
Hear that? War is music! Fifth!
681
00:37:28,917 --> 00:37:29,917
Fifth!
682
00:37:30,542 --> 00:37:31,917
Sixth!
683
00:37:32,417 --> 00:37:35,167
No food or sleep
until you're synchronized!
684
00:37:35,376 --> 00:37:37,334
Seventh!
685
00:37:38,251 --> 00:37:40,376
Papinius, move it!
686
00:37:40,584 --> 00:37:42,167
Eighth!
687
00:37:42,917 --> 00:37:44,917
Spin those Spears!
688
00:37:45,126 --> 00:37:46,126
And end!
689
00:37:46,709 --> 00:37:48,792
Stop! Dump the training Spears!
690
00:37:49,001 --> 00:37:51,001
Head over to the gates.
691
00:37:51,209 --> 00:37:52,751
There's luggage to carry!
692
00:37:52,959 --> 00:37:55,417
Caesarean Mauritania
693
00:37:56,501 --> 00:37:58,417
30 years earlier
694
00:38:29,251 --> 00:38:31,959
- Come on, papinius.
- I can't go on.
695
00:38:32,167 --> 00:38:33,917
I can't keep watching your arse.
696
00:38:36,501 --> 00:38:37,876
Papinius!
697
00:38:38,417 --> 00:38:40,417
Arturus can't keep watching your arse!
698
00:38:46,501 --> 00:38:49,834
I think she wants to throw
a tea party for the lads.
699
00:38:50,042 --> 00:38:52,334
That's kind, furadja, but no need.
700
00:38:53,876 --> 00:38:55,417
They're starving.
701
00:38:56,001 --> 00:38:58,501
That's kind of you, furadja.
702
00:38:58,709 --> 00:39:01,417
Come on, you clowns! Get over here.
703
00:39:07,792 --> 00:39:08,959
See what I see?
704
00:39:09,167 --> 00:39:10,167
Dates, cakes...
705
00:39:10,292 --> 00:39:11,751
Don't pig out!
706
00:39:11,959 --> 00:39:13,126
No crumbs, ok!
707
00:39:13,334 --> 00:39:14,334
Thank furadja!
708
00:39:14,542 --> 00:39:16,126
Thank you, furadja.
709
00:39:16,334 --> 00:39:17,584
Thanks, bitch.
710
00:39:18,542 --> 00:39:19,542
She's fishy.
711
00:39:38,834 --> 00:39:40,084
Arturus...
712
00:39:40,584 --> 00:39:41,667
Wake up.
713
00:39:42,292 --> 00:39:44,001
Did lightning strike you?
714
00:39:44,501 --> 00:39:46,292
Arturus, your cock's showing.
715
00:40:10,709 --> 00:40:11,917
Duke?
716
00:40:23,001 --> 00:40:24,959
Is this all you bring in tax?
717
00:40:25,167 --> 00:40:27,417
Can we fill the coffers with two beets
718
00:40:27,626 --> 00:40:29,251
and a Clay jug?
719
00:40:29,459 --> 00:40:32,917
I fear we'll have to triple taxes
next time.
720
00:40:33,126 --> 00:40:34,626
Multiply by three?
721
00:40:34,834 --> 00:40:35,834
I'll need refreshments.
722
00:40:36,042 --> 00:40:38,209
Write. Don't do it mentally.
723
00:40:38,667 --> 00:40:40,626
Writing is fast, but I trip up.
724
00:40:40,834 --> 00:40:42,251
Refusal to pay.
725
00:40:42,459 --> 00:40:43,459
Mutiny.
726
00:40:43,501 --> 00:40:44,709
Resistance!
727
00:40:44,917 --> 00:40:47,626
You can't deal with unarmed Hicks?
728
00:40:47,834 --> 00:40:48,834
A new tax?
729
00:40:49,001 --> 00:40:51,292
Half-dead, we keep paying?
730
00:40:51,501 --> 00:40:53,834
And kaamelott
pays you to beat us up!
731
00:40:54,042 --> 00:40:56,751
I saved months for this beet!
It's mine!
732
00:40:58,751 --> 00:40:59,876
Murderers!
733
00:41:00,751 --> 00:41:01,751
- Are you ok?
- No.
734
00:41:01,959 --> 00:41:02,959
Here's my tax.
735
00:41:05,667 --> 00:41:07,292
What this is?
736
00:41:07,501 --> 00:41:08,501
His wife's ashes!
737
00:41:08,626 --> 00:41:09,834
The ashes of his wife
738
00:41:10,042 --> 00:41:12,501
who didn't deserve to die
in chicken shit!
739
00:41:12,709 --> 00:41:13,917
Or to die
740
00:41:14,126 --> 00:41:16,417
murdered by Lancelot of the lake!
741
00:41:17,709 --> 00:41:19,542
Who deserved to die in peace,
742
00:41:19,751 --> 00:41:21,376
lying on her fertile land
743
00:41:21,751 --> 00:41:22,917
with a June breeze
744
00:41:23,334 --> 00:41:25,834
bringing her the comforting caress
745
00:41:26,042 --> 00:41:27,709
of sweet summer pollen.
746
00:41:27,917 --> 00:41:30,334
You can steal our money,
747
00:41:30,709 --> 00:41:32,084
but our feelings
748
00:41:32,626 --> 00:41:34,001
you can never take.
749
00:41:34,209 --> 00:41:35,209
That's fine.
750
00:41:35,751 --> 00:41:38,417
We don't give a damn about feelings.
751
00:41:38,626 --> 00:41:40,626
Absque argento...
752
00:41:41,126 --> 00:41:41,917
I forget.
753
00:41:42,126 --> 00:41:43,126
That's a pity.
754
00:41:43,334 --> 00:41:45,126
Latin impresses folk.
755
00:41:45,334 --> 00:41:47,584
They think you know your stuff.
756
00:41:47,792 --> 00:41:48,834
Kaamelott
757
00:41:49,042 --> 00:41:50,042
and Saxon people
758
00:41:50,292 --> 00:41:53,209
send their condolences to you
759
00:41:53,417 --> 00:41:54,417
and your daughter.
760
00:41:54,542 --> 00:41:56,751
Not my daughter, my wife.
761
00:41:57,167 --> 00:41:59,417
She's new. My new wife, like.
762
00:41:59,626 --> 00:42:01,334
- You see.
- What?
763
00:42:01,876 --> 00:42:03,292
You married too soon.
764
00:42:03,501 --> 00:42:05,251
Who says he married too soon?
765
00:42:05,459 --> 00:42:06,667
We look like clowns.
766
00:42:06,876 --> 00:42:08,709
Farming's too tough alone.
767
00:42:08,917 --> 00:42:11,334
When you want to do a good job.
768
00:42:11,542 --> 00:42:13,917
If you scratch your nuts all day,
769
00:42:14,126 --> 00:42:15,459
single life is easier.
770
00:42:15,667 --> 00:42:18,709
However much we scratch,
we sleep honestly!
771
00:42:24,834 --> 00:42:26,417
We pay you well enough
772
00:42:26,626 --> 00:42:28,251
to handle cranky yokels.
773
00:42:44,876 --> 00:42:46,709
We sounded the horn right away.
774
00:42:46,917 --> 00:42:49,251
30 war machines at 200 Poles!
775
00:42:49,667 --> 00:42:51,626
And now you play the tune?
776
00:42:51,834 --> 00:42:53,917
No one's left to alert us.
777
00:42:54,126 --> 00:42:55,751
Lancelot emptied the lookouts.
778
00:42:55,959 --> 00:42:58,292
What? Emptied the lookouts?
Absurd!
779
00:42:58,501 --> 00:42:59,876
Why on earth would I?
780
00:43:00,084 --> 00:43:01,376
Five weeks ago, you took
781
00:43:01,584 --> 00:43:04,126
fifty more men
to hunt Arthur and his knights.
782
00:43:04,501 --> 00:43:07,834
Did I say they had to be taken
from the lookout posts?
783
00:43:08,042 --> 00:43:10,501
Fifty saxons
have to come from somewhere.
784
00:43:10,709 --> 00:43:12,459
And not the hen run!
785
00:43:13,084 --> 00:43:14,084
Artour!
786
00:43:15,001 --> 00:43:16,459
Artour!
787
00:43:19,501 --> 00:43:22,834
Artour! What's the meaning of this?
788
00:43:24,417 --> 00:43:25,834
It's the burgundians.
789
00:43:26,042 --> 00:43:27,667
Sorry, it's the burgundians!
790
00:43:27,876 --> 00:43:30,167
The burgundians!
No need to worry.
791
00:43:30,376 --> 00:43:31,792
Did I hear wrong
792
00:43:32,001 --> 00:43:33,709
or did that idiot call me Arthur?
793
00:43:33,917 --> 00:43:35,167
He doesn't know our tongue.
794
00:43:35,376 --> 00:43:36,917
Maybe Arthur is this castle.
795
00:43:37,126 --> 00:43:39,084
Or simply means "chief".
796
00:43:41,042 --> 00:43:42,042
Artour!
797
00:43:42,167 --> 00:43:43,542
I'll crush that joker!
798
00:43:43,751 --> 00:43:47,709
Calm down.
You know by now the fellow's a maniac!
799
00:43:47,917 --> 00:43:48,709
Artour!
800
00:43:48,917 --> 00:43:50,042
What,
801
00:43:50,251 --> 00:43:51,834
you degenerate bugger?
802
00:43:52,042 --> 00:43:53,084
Artour!
803
00:43:53,876 --> 00:43:55,126
War
804
00:43:55,584 --> 00:43:57,167
is an illusion!
805
00:43:57,376 --> 00:43:59,167
He speaks our tongue!
806
00:43:59,376 --> 00:44:00,417
That's odd.
807
00:44:00,626 --> 00:44:02,417
He learnt since last time?
808
00:44:02,751 --> 00:44:04,042
War
809
00:44:04,251 --> 00:44:06,251
is a salsify!
810
00:44:06,459 --> 00:44:07,584
There, you see?
811
00:44:07,792 --> 00:44:08,917
I think we must
812
00:44:09,126 --> 00:44:11,292
discipline ourselves and ignore...
813
00:44:11,501 --> 00:44:12,501
I'm off.
814
00:44:12,667 --> 00:44:13,917
See to this clown.
815
00:44:14,126 --> 00:44:15,126
Go and rest.
816
00:44:15,334 --> 00:44:16,876
Do we send a couple of lancers?
817
00:44:17,084 --> 00:44:19,417
Lancers? For burgundians?
818
00:44:19,626 --> 00:44:20,709
For piece of mine.
819
00:44:20,917 --> 00:44:21,917
Don't bother.
820
00:44:22,042 --> 00:44:23,209
Are you sure?
821
00:44:23,417 --> 00:44:25,667
Don't move, we said!
Follow orders!
822
00:44:25,876 --> 00:44:27,751
"Ignore burgundians."
823
00:44:27,959 --> 00:44:30,084
An order from king Arthur's day.
824
00:44:30,292 --> 00:44:33,209
Just a little anecdote
from the archivist.
825
00:45:06,542 --> 00:45:07,334
My god...
826
00:45:07,542 --> 00:45:08,626
By all the saints.
827
00:45:08,834 --> 00:45:11,251
Stand, you wretches, for king Arthur!
828
00:45:12,126 --> 00:45:13,501
Don't start.
829
00:45:13,709 --> 00:45:15,709
I'm not a king. No need to stand.
830
00:45:16,209 --> 00:45:17,501
What...
831
00:45:20,042 --> 00:45:22,042
What exactly are you up to?
832
00:45:22,251 --> 00:45:23,876
Here we are, my hearties.
833
00:45:24,084 --> 00:45:27,542
A little snack
to start the day nicely.
834
00:45:35,751 --> 00:45:39,876
Forest of gaunes, continental logres
835
00:45:40,084 --> 00:45:42,126
war! War!
836
00:45:43,459 --> 00:45:44,501
Salsify!
837
00:45:53,834 --> 00:45:55,042
Classic.
838
00:45:55,251 --> 00:45:56,501
Getting that tangled up
839
00:45:56,709 --> 00:45:58,334
shows talent.
840
00:45:58,542 --> 00:45:59,626
Like in Arthur's day.
841
00:45:59,834 --> 00:46:01,751
No machine is in place.
842
00:46:01,959 --> 00:46:05,501
The confusion with the machines
is a mere detail
843
00:46:05,709 --> 00:46:08,251
as they are too close to the fortress.
844
00:46:08,459 --> 00:46:10,792
Even facing the right way,
845
00:46:11,001 --> 00:46:13,209
their shots would pass over our heads
846
00:46:13,417 --> 00:46:16,167
and land in the field
of the old bugger out back.
847
00:46:38,459 --> 00:46:40,667
You know right away how it'll end.
848
00:46:40,876 --> 00:46:41,876
Why even watch?
849
00:46:42,084 --> 00:46:43,667
Libido sciendi.
850
00:46:43,876 --> 00:46:45,584
The desire to know.
851
00:46:45,792 --> 00:46:46,792
Yes,
852
00:46:47,001 --> 00:46:49,001
a tad unlikely in this context...
853
00:46:49,209 --> 00:46:52,167
Does the desire to know need context?
854
00:46:52,376 --> 00:46:53,376
You see.
855
00:46:56,792 --> 00:46:57,959
Sire, please...
856
00:46:58,167 --> 00:46:59,209
Don't call me that.
857
00:46:59,417 --> 00:47:00,417
Surely...
858
00:47:00,459 --> 00:47:02,584
Read my lips. I'm splitting.
859
00:47:02,792 --> 00:47:03,792
Right now.
860
00:47:03,876 --> 00:47:05,084
You insisted
861
00:47:05,292 --> 00:47:08,417
I met your boys
with their eyes full of courage...
862
00:47:08,834 --> 00:47:10,542
When I say boys...
863
00:47:10,751 --> 00:47:11,917
How old is he?
864
00:47:12,667 --> 00:47:14,542
Sire, we couldn't be choosy.
865
00:47:14,751 --> 00:47:16,542
We had places to fill.
866
00:47:16,751 --> 00:47:18,042
He's my kid brother.
867
00:47:18,251 --> 00:47:20,251
I keep asking for a cushion
868
00:47:20,459 --> 00:47:21,459
to be higher.
869
00:47:21,501 --> 00:47:24,042
- I'm sick of it!
- Sire, say something.
870
00:47:24,709 --> 00:47:26,167
What can I say?
871
00:47:26,376 --> 00:47:28,542
What are you playing at here?
872
00:47:28,751 --> 00:47:30,917
Are you safe on the continent?
873
00:47:31,126 --> 00:47:33,542
You realize this is resistance?
874
00:47:36,292 --> 00:47:37,292
We're a joke.
875
00:47:37,459 --> 00:47:39,126
We thought we did right
876
00:47:39,334 --> 00:47:41,084
to intervene at our level.
877
00:47:41,292 --> 00:47:42,292
It's too low.
878
00:47:42,417 --> 00:47:45,001
We come here, sit, have our snack...
879
00:47:45,209 --> 00:47:46,834
Look at our round table.
880
00:47:47,042 --> 00:47:48,417
It's pathetic.
881
00:47:58,501 --> 00:47:59,626
Not at all.
882
00:48:00,209 --> 00:48:03,959
Everything's pretty pathetic here,
but not that.
883
00:48:04,167 --> 00:48:06,251
Sire, you don't have to mock.
884
00:48:08,084 --> 00:48:10,042
Modest, humble...
885
00:48:10,251 --> 00:48:12,501
Made without showy skill,
886
00:48:12,709 --> 00:48:14,417
with salvaged material...
887
00:48:15,209 --> 00:48:16,584
Just round enough
888
00:48:16,792 --> 00:48:18,667
for no one to be at a corner
889
00:48:18,876 --> 00:48:20,376
or far from another.
890
00:48:27,584 --> 00:48:28,751
Move!
891
00:48:38,917 --> 00:48:39,917
Go on.
892
00:48:40,417 --> 00:48:41,417
Who are you?
893
00:48:41,917 --> 00:48:44,001
- I introduce myself?
- Yes!
894
00:48:45,334 --> 00:48:46,126
Girflet.
895
00:48:46,334 --> 00:48:47,376
Sir girflet.
896
00:48:47,584 --> 00:48:48,584
Sir?
897
00:48:48,626 --> 00:48:50,834
At pendragon's table
everyone's a lord,
898
00:48:51,042 --> 00:48:52,792
whatever his origin.
899
00:48:53,001 --> 00:48:54,001
Even without land?
900
00:48:54,084 --> 00:48:55,209
Even without land.
901
00:48:55,584 --> 00:48:56,792
Sir girflet,
902
00:48:57,001 --> 00:48:58,626
my neighbour's cousin.
903
00:48:58,834 --> 00:49:01,126
I mean my neighbour here.
904
00:49:01,501 --> 00:49:03,751
This neighbour and his brother.
905
00:49:07,459 --> 00:49:08,584
I say "sir" too?
906
00:49:08,792 --> 00:49:09,834
Like the others.
907
00:49:10,042 --> 00:49:12,126
Sir lucan, knight of the squid.
908
00:49:12,334 --> 00:49:13,959
I'm brother to bedever...
909
00:49:14,167 --> 00:49:15,167
Sir.
910
00:49:15,209 --> 00:49:16,209
Sir bedever.
911
00:49:16,417 --> 00:49:18,292
- And cousin to girflet.
- Sir.
912
00:49:18,501 --> 00:49:19,834
Sir girflet.
913
00:49:23,084 --> 00:49:24,084
Knight?
914
00:49:24,126 --> 00:49:25,334
Not really.
915
00:49:25,542 --> 00:49:26,751
A knight...
916
00:49:26,959 --> 00:49:28,626
He's not a knight yet.
917
00:49:28,834 --> 00:49:31,084
All right, but knight of what?
918
00:49:31,292 --> 00:49:32,459
The squid.
919
00:49:33,876 --> 00:49:35,084
Not great, huh?
920
00:49:36,126 --> 00:49:36,917
Squid?
921
00:49:37,126 --> 00:49:38,459
Not as in squidgy.
922
00:49:38,667 --> 00:49:40,834
No, squid the animal.
923
00:49:43,334 --> 00:49:44,126
Calamari?
924
00:49:44,334 --> 00:49:45,334
Exactly.
925
00:49:45,376 --> 00:49:46,792
Not the finest totem.
926
00:49:47,334 --> 00:49:48,501
I do as I want.
927
00:49:49,792 --> 00:49:50,792
Carry on.
928
00:49:51,834 --> 00:49:55,001
Sir bedever,
brother to sir lucan,
929
00:49:55,209 --> 00:49:56,376
knight of the squid,
930
00:49:56,584 --> 00:49:57,751
and cousin to sir girflet.
931
00:49:58,292 --> 00:50:00,501
Bam! Not one mistake.
932
00:50:00,709 --> 00:50:01,876
You can tell
933
00:50:02,084 --> 00:50:03,417
where the brains are.
934
00:50:03,626 --> 00:50:04,751
Sir rostan.
935
00:50:04,959 --> 00:50:07,542
I'd have liked knight of provence
936
00:50:07,751 --> 00:50:09,917
but it was taken on the old table.
937
00:50:10,126 --> 00:50:13,209
- Knight of provence?
- Wasn't there a provencal?
938
00:50:13,417 --> 00:50:15,626
Damn it, we already explained!
939
00:50:15,834 --> 00:50:17,292
That was a mistake.
940
00:50:17,501 --> 00:50:19,417
Sir percival, who comes from wales.
941
00:50:19,626 --> 00:50:21,667
Knight of provence.
942
00:50:22,126 --> 00:50:23,667
Or sir provencal.
943
00:50:23,876 --> 00:50:25,167
Sounds like a recipe.
944
00:50:25,709 --> 00:50:27,126
Or rostan of provence,
945
00:50:27,334 --> 00:50:28,501
more like a village.
946
00:50:28,709 --> 00:50:29,917
Sir gawain.
947
00:50:30,126 --> 00:50:33,334
I'm already a knight,
but I'm not proud of it.
948
00:50:33,542 --> 00:50:35,042
Nephew to Arthur pendragon,
949
00:50:35,626 --> 00:50:36,667
do I need to say?
950
00:50:37,084 --> 00:50:38,292
Son of king loth of orkney,
951
00:50:38,501 --> 00:50:40,376
a foul traitor. Thank you.
952
00:50:45,917 --> 00:50:46,917
Finally!
953
00:50:47,792 --> 00:50:48,584
What time is this?
954
00:50:48,792 --> 00:50:50,667
Baddies were chasing me.
955
00:50:51,167 --> 00:50:52,917
Baddies were chasing you?
956
00:51:10,709 --> 00:51:12,417
Blackguards!
957
00:51:19,167 --> 00:51:20,584
Father!
958
00:51:25,459 --> 00:51:27,417
Young adventurers above.
Come quick!
959
00:51:27,626 --> 00:51:29,292
- Adventurers?
- Above?
960
00:51:29,501 --> 00:51:30,501
How'd they find us?
961
00:51:30,709 --> 00:51:32,459
- Who cares?
- Are they spies?
962
00:51:32,667 --> 00:51:33,834
They saw the tunnel?
963
00:51:35,209 --> 00:51:36,959
Say we're fully staffed.
964
00:51:37,167 --> 00:51:38,334
They don't want work.
965
00:51:38,542 --> 00:51:40,751
They walked days to get here!
966
00:51:40,959 --> 00:51:42,751
They can walk days to leave.
967
00:51:42,959 --> 00:51:43,751
Screw it!
968
00:51:43,959 --> 00:51:44,959
Screw-d river.
969
00:51:46,542 --> 00:51:48,501
Father, uncle percival...
970
00:51:48,709 --> 00:51:49,917
You're heroes for them.
971
00:52:01,417 --> 00:52:02,417
Sir percival.
972
00:52:03,751 --> 00:52:05,792
Sir caradoc. I'm honoured...
973
00:52:07,042 --> 00:52:08,167
Move, pillocks!
974
00:52:08,376 --> 00:52:09,376
Keep it short.
975
00:52:10,042 --> 00:52:12,459
What do you want?
Fighting techniques?
976
00:52:13,084 --> 00:52:16,626
I'm petrok, son of roparzh,
breeder and landowner.
977
00:52:17,251 --> 00:52:19,292
With my squires,
gareth and iagu...
978
00:52:19,501 --> 00:52:21,376
What? We're your squires now?
979
00:52:21,584 --> 00:52:22,876
Squires, you yokel?
980
00:52:23,084 --> 00:52:24,324
- Where's your horse?
- At home.
981
00:52:24,501 --> 00:52:26,501
I request your daughter's hand.
982
00:52:26,709 --> 00:52:27,501
What?
983
00:52:27,709 --> 00:52:29,042
Father, calm down.
984
00:52:29,251 --> 00:52:30,459
You?
985
00:52:32,417 --> 00:52:34,334
- Where did you meet?
- At market.
986
00:52:34,542 --> 00:52:36,626
- At market?
- Let's discuss
987
00:52:36,834 --> 00:52:38,709
land and movable property.
988
00:52:38,917 --> 00:52:40,709
Try to show style for once.
989
00:52:41,167 --> 00:52:43,584
- I'll move fast.
- And clear off!
990
00:52:43,792 --> 00:52:45,626
I can express noble feelings.
991
00:52:45,834 --> 00:52:46,834
I planned to.
992
00:52:47,042 --> 00:52:48,126
Enough bullshit.
993
00:52:48,334 --> 00:52:50,376
Can we take two minutes...
994
00:52:50,584 --> 00:52:53,209
Father, they're active
in the resistance.
995
00:52:56,417 --> 00:52:59,417
Above ground, like real lemons!
996
00:53:03,709 --> 00:53:06,709
Ok, pin-dicks,
run to granny before it rains.
997
00:53:06,917 --> 00:53:09,042
Lemons and pin-dicks
who live with granny...
998
00:53:09,251 --> 00:53:10,251
Fight back!
999
00:53:10,376 --> 00:53:11,584
Relate your deeds.
1000
00:53:11,792 --> 00:53:14,292
Yes. Whenever we meet saxons,
1001
00:53:14,501 --> 00:53:16,126
we insult them!
1002
00:53:16,334 --> 00:53:17,667
- Under your breath.
- Of course.
1003
00:53:17,876 --> 00:53:19,084
What if they heard?
1004
00:53:19,292 --> 00:53:21,334
I threw blueberries at them once!
1005
00:53:21,542 --> 00:53:22,334
All I found.
1006
00:53:22,542 --> 00:53:23,751
They soon scrammed.
1007
00:53:23,959 --> 00:53:26,584
They're a bit useless, but brave.
1008
00:53:26,792 --> 00:53:28,584
They need training by real knights.
1009
00:53:28,792 --> 00:53:29,792
We hate Lancelot!
1010
00:53:29,834 --> 00:53:31,751
We want the round table back!
1011
00:53:31,959 --> 00:53:33,792
We fight for Arthur pendragon.
1012
00:53:34,001 --> 00:53:35,001
Coming here,
1013
00:53:35,209 --> 00:53:37,042
we weren't afraid to say
1014
00:53:37,251 --> 00:53:40,126
that we were off to meet
caradoc and percival.
1015
00:53:40,334 --> 00:53:41,876
Even if you're wanted
1016
00:53:42,084 --> 00:53:45,417
and meeting you is a crime,
we proudly stated
1017
00:53:45,626 --> 00:53:47,459
our goal all along the way!
1018
00:53:55,834 --> 00:53:56,834
Is that the alarm?
1019
00:53:57,792 --> 00:53:59,251
No idea anymore.
1020
00:53:59,459 --> 00:54:00,584
We're besieged!
1021
00:54:01,126 --> 00:54:02,251
Besieged?
1022
00:54:02,459 --> 00:54:04,542
Besieged without an army?
1023
00:54:04,751 --> 00:54:05,917
It's bad news!
1024
00:54:21,959 --> 00:54:22,959
Relax!
1025
00:54:23,042 --> 00:54:24,251
It's the burgundians.
1026
00:54:24,459 --> 00:54:25,709
What a panic!
1027
00:54:25,917 --> 00:54:28,126
They hadn't harried us for a while.
1028
00:54:28,334 --> 00:54:29,334
Don't panic!
1029
00:54:29,542 --> 00:54:32,001
You could've checked
before alarming us!
1030
00:54:32,209 --> 00:54:33,209
I feared
1031
00:54:33,292 --> 00:54:34,959
they'd hurl boulders.
1032
00:54:35,167 --> 00:54:37,542
They came to attack us last year.
1033
00:54:37,751 --> 00:54:39,501
During the fig season.
1034
00:54:39,709 --> 00:54:41,209
It kept us amused.
1035
00:54:47,584 --> 00:54:48,667
Is that léodagan?
1036
00:54:48,876 --> 00:54:50,959
- Where?
- There on the right.
1037
00:54:51,167 --> 00:54:53,167
Is he attacking them?
1038
00:54:53,376 --> 00:54:55,417
Unarmed, alone against 150 men?
1039
00:54:55,626 --> 00:54:57,584
Attention, it'll soon be over.
1040
00:55:02,042 --> 00:55:03,376
Where are you going?
1041
00:55:03,584 --> 00:55:05,542
Don't provoke them!
1042
00:55:05,751 --> 00:55:07,626
You'll get bolts in the bum!
1043
00:55:09,292 --> 00:55:10,667
What's wrong?
1044
00:55:10,876 --> 00:55:14,501
Gardening has ended up
addling his brain.
1045
00:55:14,709 --> 00:55:15,709
That's what.
1046
00:55:15,834 --> 00:55:18,292
- Do we step in?
- With what?
1047
00:55:18,667 --> 00:55:20,709
Haven't you got a spare spell?
1048
00:55:20,917 --> 00:55:23,167
A spell to calm your husband, no!
1049
00:55:41,501 --> 00:55:43,042
What means all this?
1050
00:55:53,292 --> 00:55:54,292
Maybe.
1051
00:56:34,834 --> 00:56:36,501
Look out, here they come.
1052
00:56:36,959 --> 00:56:37,959
Shit.
1053
00:56:38,001 --> 00:56:39,001
The fat slag...
1054
00:56:39,334 --> 00:56:41,376
No, the one in blue.
1055
00:56:43,417 --> 00:56:45,751
If they see we're missing...
1056
00:56:45,959 --> 00:56:46,959
We brought arturus.
1057
00:56:47,126 --> 00:56:48,376
They'll waste us.
1058
00:56:48,584 --> 00:56:50,042
Has he seen her? Can we go?
1059
00:56:50,251 --> 00:56:51,501
Let's go back.
1060
00:56:51,709 --> 00:56:53,834
Did you come to piss me off?
1061
00:56:54,042 --> 00:56:55,042
No, to be nice.
1062
00:56:55,209 --> 00:56:56,459
So be nice and belt up!
1063
00:57:02,334 --> 00:57:03,542
A ve.
1064
00:57:07,001 --> 00:57:08,834
He's arturus.
1065
00:57:10,376 --> 00:57:12,001
Arturus.
1066
00:57:13,126 --> 00:57:14,251
I can say my name!
1067
00:57:14,459 --> 00:57:16,084
- You can't.
- You're a jerk.
1068
00:57:16,292 --> 00:57:18,001
Arturus.
1069
00:57:21,834 --> 00:57:22,917
And you?
1070
00:57:23,959 --> 00:57:25,334
Shedda.
1071
00:57:26,167 --> 00:57:27,209
Shedda.
1072
00:57:28,417 --> 00:57:30,751
Shit, that's beautiful.
1073
00:57:30,959 --> 00:57:32,084
Shedda!
1074
00:58:08,501 --> 00:58:11,084
"I walk through the valley of death,
1075
00:58:12,042 --> 00:58:14,209
yet I fear no evil,
1076
00:58:14,959 --> 00:58:16,542
for he is with me."
1077
00:58:29,417 --> 00:58:31,209
Starvation gives me visions.
1078
00:58:32,084 --> 00:58:33,959
- Who is it?
- King Arthur, lads.
1079
00:58:34,167 --> 00:58:35,542
Alive, apparently.
1080
00:58:35,751 --> 00:58:38,542
I've said that for ten years,
you salsify!
1081
00:58:39,709 --> 00:58:41,001
He rings no bells.
1082
00:58:41,209 --> 00:58:42,334
Come on...
1083
00:58:42,542 --> 00:58:44,042
Like kaamelott, where we lived...
1084
00:58:44,251 --> 00:58:46,001
We weren't on his floor.
1085
00:58:46,209 --> 00:58:50,167
Look at this,
king Arthur locked in the jails
1086
00:58:50,376 --> 00:58:51,584
of his own fortress.
1087
00:58:51,792 --> 00:58:52,792
Yep...
1088
00:58:57,792 --> 00:58:59,084
Sad irony...
1089
00:58:59,626 --> 00:59:00,959
Why's he here?
1090
00:59:01,167 --> 00:59:02,167
You're on the isle?
1091
00:59:02,251 --> 00:59:03,792
They said you'd managed
1092
00:59:04,001 --> 00:59:06,042
- to hide on the continent.
- Not hide.
1093
00:59:06,251 --> 00:59:07,501
Braving danger,
1094
00:59:07,709 --> 00:59:10,876
I honoured the memory
of our dear Arthur
1095
00:59:11,084 --> 00:59:14,292
by uniting the best
resistance fighters in gaunes!
1096
00:59:14,501 --> 00:59:15,751
Hand in hand...
1097
00:59:41,001 --> 00:59:42,001
Boom!
1098
00:59:42,334 --> 00:59:43,501
Bull's-eye!
1099
00:59:48,292 --> 00:59:50,042
So, what do you say?
1100
00:59:50,251 --> 00:59:51,959
You have Arthur at last!
1101
00:59:52,167 --> 00:59:53,167
The others too.
1102
00:59:53,292 --> 00:59:54,876
Yes, the others, but...
1103
00:59:55,084 --> 00:59:56,084
Arthur!
1104
00:59:56,251 --> 00:59:57,459
How about a drink?
1105
00:59:57,667 --> 00:59:59,917
After all, it's worth celebrating.
1106
01:00:00,126 --> 01:00:01,167
Another thing.
1107
01:00:01,376 --> 01:00:03,709
No more money wasted on hunting him.
1108
01:00:03,917 --> 01:00:05,376
How about that, mate?
1109
01:00:05,584 --> 01:00:08,917
With an isle and half our wealth,
call it quits.
1110
01:00:09,126 --> 01:00:10,459
Give us a smile.
1111
01:00:10,667 --> 01:00:12,167
Arthur's in the cellar.
1112
01:00:12,376 --> 01:00:14,792
After looking
under every floorboard...
1113
01:00:15,001 --> 01:00:16,167
And not finding him.
1114
01:00:16,376 --> 01:00:17,917
What do we do now?
1115
01:00:18,126 --> 01:00:19,167
Execute him?
1116
01:00:19,376 --> 01:00:21,334
The jails are chock-a-block.
1117
01:00:21,542 --> 01:00:22,542
Meals alone
1118
01:00:22,626 --> 01:00:25,167
cost a fortune in veggie peelings.
1119
01:00:25,917 --> 01:00:27,459
You must kill Arthur.
1120
01:00:27,667 --> 01:00:31,251
If the people learn he is alive
and at kaamelott,
1121
01:00:31,792 --> 01:00:33,667
you risk an uprising.
1122
01:00:36,834 --> 01:00:38,417
I'm sorry.
1123
01:00:38,626 --> 01:00:40,876
You're much less popular than him.
1124
01:00:44,917 --> 01:00:46,334
Don't we get a drink?
1125
01:00:46,792 --> 01:00:48,292
You're not a nice guy.
1126
01:00:48,501 --> 01:00:51,334
There are no nice guys in this room.
1127
01:00:54,626 --> 01:00:56,792
- Merlin, where does this lead?
- Up my arse!
1128
01:00:57,001 --> 01:00:58,584
Wherever we want.
1129
01:00:58,792 --> 01:01:01,876
With me in charge,
things tick over better!
1130
01:01:02,251 --> 01:01:03,834
We tried to reach kaamelott.
1131
01:01:04,042 --> 01:01:05,376
You were close, morons.
1132
01:01:05,834 --> 01:01:07,167
I used your absence
1133
01:01:07,376 --> 01:01:08,834
to map the network.
1134
01:01:09,042 --> 01:01:10,209
Like I told you to!
1135
01:01:10,626 --> 01:01:12,459
But the great percival and caradoc
1136
01:01:12,667 --> 01:01:14,667
prefer to tell me
1137
01:01:14,876 --> 01:01:16,959
my magic's no use underground.
1138
01:01:25,667 --> 01:01:27,376
- That's...
- In person.
1139
01:01:27,584 --> 01:01:29,001
And in a sorry state.
1140
01:01:29,459 --> 01:01:30,584
How can we save him?
1141
01:01:30,792 --> 01:01:31,834
Smash the lock.
1142
01:01:32,042 --> 01:01:33,042
But what with?
1143
01:01:33,209 --> 01:01:35,334
They took my cheese knife!
1144
01:01:35,876 --> 01:01:37,542
My shirt's way too soft.
1145
01:01:37,751 --> 01:01:40,459
We can't escape from here
without Arthur.
1146
01:01:40,667 --> 01:01:41,667
Hello!
1147
01:01:43,834 --> 01:01:45,459
Careful!
1148
01:01:57,876 --> 01:01:59,751
Hiya! It's mummy!
1149
01:02:00,167 --> 01:02:01,209
Why's this cow here?
1150
01:02:01,417 --> 01:02:02,459
Keep back, scum!
1151
01:02:02,667 --> 01:02:04,626
I'm freeing my daughters.
1152
01:02:04,834 --> 01:02:08,001
Is your little resistance
group booming?
1153
01:02:08,209 --> 01:02:09,251
Yes.
1154
01:02:09,459 --> 01:02:11,001
My wife's with Lancelot.
1155
01:02:11,209 --> 01:02:12,376
I feared you'd yell.
1156
01:02:12,584 --> 01:02:13,584
Lancelot?
1157
01:02:14,001 --> 01:02:15,376
Miss ugly's with Lancelot?
1158
01:02:15,584 --> 01:02:18,834
Girls, bring your comrades
to the kitchens.
1159
01:02:19,042 --> 01:02:20,376
- You'll eat.
- No, mother!
1160
01:02:20,834 --> 01:02:23,251
In the name of justice, we stay here!
1161
01:02:23,709 --> 01:02:25,501
We'd be more use outside.
1162
01:02:25,709 --> 01:02:27,459
Screw that! We stay here!
1163
01:02:27,876 --> 01:02:30,167
By the way,
I'm marrying this guy
1164
01:02:30,376 --> 01:02:32,667
and his family isn't very good!
1165
01:02:32,876 --> 01:02:36,001
Lady myfanwy.
A pity about the circumstances...
1166
01:02:36,209 --> 01:02:38,084
- She's a bitch.
- Even so.
1167
01:02:38,292 --> 01:02:39,584
I obtained a pardon
1168
01:02:39,792 --> 01:02:40,792
for the youngest,
1169
01:02:40,959 --> 01:02:43,417
but I couldn't help the rest of you.
1170
01:02:43,792 --> 01:02:46,751
I'd choke to death
before creepy granny frees me.
1171
01:02:54,876 --> 01:02:58,876
How dare you look at him,
woman of such low morals?
1172
01:02:59,084 --> 01:03:00,084
Stand back!
1173
01:03:01,417 --> 01:03:02,417
He has changed.
1174
01:03:04,376 --> 01:03:06,917
Unlike you. As ugly as ever.
1175
01:03:08,334 --> 01:03:11,542
Stop this witch
from putting a curse on our king.
1176
01:03:11,751 --> 01:03:13,667
You'll stop nothing, scum!
1177
01:03:13,876 --> 01:03:15,292
Your king's bleeding.
1178
01:03:15,709 --> 01:03:16,876
And he's feverish.
1179
01:03:17,876 --> 01:03:19,167
Shall I open the cage?
1180
01:03:19,376 --> 01:03:20,459
No, leave it.
1181
01:03:21,126 --> 01:03:22,792
Let him die in it.
1182
01:03:24,626 --> 01:03:25,959
At his own pace.
1183
01:03:27,876 --> 01:03:31,584
How can you be so heartless
towards someone you loved?
1184
01:03:32,167 --> 01:03:33,167
It's easy.
1185
01:03:33,709 --> 01:03:36,709
How come no one ever iced this bitch?
1186
01:03:36,917 --> 01:03:39,292
No regrets, girls?
Backing the losers?
1187
01:03:39,667 --> 01:03:42,001
- Screw you!
- Madam, it was a pleasure.
1188
01:03:46,542 --> 01:03:49,167
Ugly cow!
1189
01:03:50,709 --> 01:03:51,834
Well then?
1190
01:03:52,042 --> 01:03:53,751
If they find the hole,
we're screwed.
1191
01:03:53,959 --> 01:03:55,501
Got a spell for the lock?
1192
01:03:55,709 --> 01:03:57,501
I don't do spells underground!
1193
01:03:58,042 --> 01:03:59,542
Nor out in the open!
1194
01:03:59,751 --> 01:04:01,167
What about this?
1195
01:04:03,417 --> 01:04:04,417
Where's that from?
1196
01:04:04,584 --> 01:04:07,084
I filched it
from that dumb guard.
1197
01:04:09,334 --> 01:04:10,876
See that, chums?
1198
01:04:11,084 --> 01:04:13,292
Who's the gang's cretin now?
1199
01:04:13,501 --> 01:04:14,584
I have a talent!
1200
01:04:14,792 --> 01:04:16,292
I'm ok, my dad has money.
1201
01:04:16,501 --> 01:04:17,542
I can cast a spell.
1202
01:04:17,751 --> 01:04:18,751
You never cast it!
1203
01:04:18,959 --> 01:04:20,501
Damn lock!
1204
01:04:20,709 --> 01:04:21,709
Hurry it up!
1205
01:04:21,876 --> 01:04:23,417
The guard will miss his key.
1206
01:04:23,626 --> 01:04:26,834
I refuse to use a spell
from my traitor of a father!
1207
01:04:27,042 --> 01:04:28,417
A traitor who lives here.
1208
01:04:28,626 --> 01:04:30,084
Petrok, quiet!
1209
01:04:30,292 --> 01:04:32,042
- Who's his father?
- Lot of orkney!
1210
01:04:32,251 --> 01:04:34,251
- Iagu!
- Yes, he's a traitor.
1211
01:04:34,459 --> 01:04:35,501
A lousy brigand!
1212
01:04:36,751 --> 01:04:37,751
Let's split!
1213
01:04:37,834 --> 01:04:38,834
Move it!
1214
01:04:39,042 --> 01:04:40,042
Gently!
1215
01:04:40,084 --> 01:04:41,251
We'll free everyone,
1216
01:04:41,459 --> 01:04:43,376
but kings first, then yokels.
1217
01:04:46,542 --> 01:04:48,584
Hurry, the guards will be back!
1218
01:04:49,542 --> 01:04:50,626
What's going on?
1219
01:04:50,834 --> 01:04:51,834
Can we let go?
1220
01:04:51,959 --> 01:04:53,792
Let go of what? Are you nuts?
1221
01:04:54,001 --> 01:04:56,376
- He's heavy!
- Haul him up, idiots!
1222
01:04:56,584 --> 01:04:57,626
We haul him up?
1223
01:04:57,834 --> 01:04:58,834
What a pain...
1224
01:04:59,042 --> 01:05:00,042
Back in the cage?
1225
01:05:00,167 --> 01:05:02,167
By his feet, cretins!
1226
01:05:02,376 --> 01:05:04,501
Isn't by the hole better?
1227
01:05:04,709 --> 01:05:05,709
Haul him up!
1228
01:05:11,417 --> 01:05:12,626
The cells are all empty!
1229
01:05:12,834 --> 01:05:15,126
- We collapse it?
- Collapse what?
1230
01:05:15,334 --> 01:05:17,501
If we don't, they'll find our hq.
1231
01:05:17,917 --> 01:05:19,584
What a gang of pillocks!
1232
01:05:19,792 --> 01:05:21,917
The tunnel from hq to kaamelott
1233
01:05:22,126 --> 01:05:24,001
may not lead back to hq.
1234
01:05:24,209 --> 01:05:25,376
Collapse it!
1235
01:05:25,584 --> 01:05:26,584
Let's go!
1236
01:05:34,667 --> 01:05:36,334
Find him!
1237
01:05:38,584 --> 01:05:41,501
Or I'll hang you by your privates.
1238
01:05:41,709 --> 01:05:43,876
Bravo! Very constructive.
1239
01:05:44,084 --> 01:05:45,084
Why are you here?
1240
01:05:45,209 --> 01:05:46,959
You dally while he flees!
1241
01:05:47,167 --> 01:05:48,376
We have to find him?
1242
01:05:48,584 --> 01:05:50,209
They collapsed their tunnel.
1243
01:05:50,417 --> 01:05:52,084
We're not hands-on.
1244
01:05:52,501 --> 01:05:54,876
Nor brainy, not that I said so...
1245
01:05:55,084 --> 01:05:58,792
The prospect of being hung by the nuts
1246
01:05:59,001 --> 01:06:01,334
is an incentive to move our arses.
1247
01:06:01,542 --> 01:06:04,001
Argumentum bacu/inum.
Might is right.
1248
01:06:04,209 --> 01:06:07,959
Drat, it's both correct and apt.
1249
01:06:08,167 --> 01:06:10,084
Instead, we'll opt for
1250
01:06:10,292 --> 01:06:12,042
de/enda carthago.
1251
01:06:12,584 --> 01:06:15,792
"Carthage must be destroyed",
which is just dumb.
1252
01:06:16,001 --> 01:06:18,001
Should we go hunting again?
1253
01:06:18,209 --> 01:06:22,001
Horsa! If we hunt,
we need money or land.
1254
01:06:22,209 --> 01:06:23,751
Enough of it!
1255
01:06:23,959 --> 01:06:26,001
You won't get half the realm
1256
01:06:26,209 --> 01:06:29,584
for searching three bushes
and finding nothing!
1257
01:06:29,792 --> 01:06:31,542
I'll give you all you want,
1258
01:06:31,751 --> 01:06:33,167
but you leave now.
1259
01:06:33,376 --> 01:06:34,376
Right now!
1260
01:06:34,584 --> 01:06:36,042
What? Whatever they want?
1261
01:06:36,251 --> 01:06:38,292
That's a hasty reaction
1262
01:06:38,501 --> 01:06:39,834
and that's never good.
1263
01:06:40,042 --> 01:06:42,251
Don't act like you're bonkers!
1264
01:06:42,459 --> 01:06:44,084
- Give guarantees.
- Wulfstan!
1265
01:06:45,917 --> 01:06:48,376
First, find Arthur.
1266
01:06:50,292 --> 01:06:51,917
For the money...
1267
01:06:52,126 --> 01:06:54,459
We'll work it out later.
1268
01:07:02,084 --> 01:07:03,084
Stop!
1269
01:07:04,167 --> 01:07:05,334
I can't go on.
1270
01:07:05,542 --> 01:07:06,542
My poor back.
1271
01:07:06,626 --> 01:07:07,834
That way.
1272
01:07:08,042 --> 01:07:09,126
Then straight on.
1273
01:07:12,709 --> 01:07:15,167
I think some of them got lost
in the tunnels.
1274
01:07:15,376 --> 01:07:17,501
You were hiding here?
1275
01:07:17,709 --> 01:07:18,917
Affirmative.
1276
01:07:19,126 --> 01:07:20,376
Surprised, ducky?
1277
01:07:20,584 --> 01:07:22,251
I'm quite speechless.
1278
01:07:22,667 --> 01:07:24,417
- Do you have weapons?
- No.
1279
01:07:24,626 --> 01:07:26,001
No need, a new technique.
1280
01:07:26,209 --> 01:07:28,876
We wear bright clothes
to look venomous.
1281
01:07:29,084 --> 01:07:31,334
If you want weapons, I know a spot
1282
01:07:31,542 --> 01:07:32,917
with a weapon in a stone.
1283
01:07:33,417 --> 01:07:34,417
Hervé de rinel?
1284
01:07:37,834 --> 01:07:39,001
Where did you come from?
1285
01:07:39,209 --> 01:07:40,209
The jails.
1286
01:07:42,709 --> 01:07:44,959
I followed people through a hole.
1287
01:07:45,167 --> 01:07:46,167
Should I go back?
1288
01:07:48,459 --> 01:07:50,376
Why not show yourself earlier?
1289
01:07:50,834 --> 01:07:52,126
I'm not the showy type.
1290
01:07:53,001 --> 01:07:54,292
Stop!
1291
01:07:55,709 --> 01:07:57,167
What the hell?
1292
01:08:00,417 --> 01:08:02,459
Who the hell is he?
1293
01:08:02,876 --> 01:08:03,876
For my quest.
1294
01:08:03,959 --> 01:08:05,876
- What quest?
- To be a knight.
1295
01:08:06,084 --> 01:08:07,542
So you kill king Arthur?
1296
01:08:07,751 --> 01:08:09,376
The man who can make you a knight?
1297
01:08:09,584 --> 01:08:11,334
- It's the law.
- Killing the king?
1298
01:08:11,542 --> 01:08:13,751
- Are we pea-brains? Your name!
- Kolaig!
1299
01:08:13,959 --> 01:08:15,167
Not your trade!
1300
01:08:15,376 --> 01:08:16,167
My name's kolaig!
1301
01:08:16,376 --> 01:08:19,417
"He who desires a knight's wife
must kill that knight."
1302
01:08:20,042 --> 01:08:22,126
You desire a knight's wife?
1303
01:08:22,334 --> 01:08:23,584
King Arthur's.
1304
01:08:27,209 --> 01:08:30,542
I'm not a king, nor a knight
and I have no wife.
1305
01:08:31,209 --> 01:08:32,251
Guinevere isn't your wife?
1306
01:08:32,459 --> 01:08:34,126
It's not that simple.
1307
01:08:34,334 --> 01:08:36,459
I mustn't kill you then.
1308
01:08:36,667 --> 01:08:38,792
- Sorry.
- We are too, young patriot.
1309
01:08:39,001 --> 01:08:41,001
Do 16,500 push-ups,
8,000 lunges,
1310
01:08:41,209 --> 01:08:42,501
a fruit juice break,
1311
01:08:42,709 --> 01:08:44,917
- then 16,500 more push-ups.
- Wait.
1312
01:08:46,959 --> 01:08:49,959
Do you know where Guinevere is?
1313
01:08:50,167 --> 01:08:50,959
Of course.
1314
01:08:51,167 --> 01:08:53,501
I ended up in jail because I know.
1315
01:08:54,042 --> 01:08:58,042
Lancelot keeps her
in an old, uncharted and ruined tower.
1316
01:08:58,251 --> 01:08:59,709
I send letters in cakes
1317
01:08:59,917 --> 01:09:02,834
cos the kaamelott pastry chef
fancies my sister.
1318
01:09:03,042 --> 01:09:05,001
- This is great, sire!
- Shut up.
1319
01:09:05,209 --> 01:09:08,751
- Sire, it's classy.
- Enough! And don't call me sire.
1320
01:09:08,959 --> 01:09:10,042
We have a mission.
1321
01:09:10,251 --> 01:09:12,209
- Like in round table days.
- You missed it.
1322
01:09:17,084 --> 01:09:17,876
Sorry, sire.
1323
01:09:18,084 --> 01:09:20,167
Shut up! The guards will spot us.
1324
01:09:20,376 --> 01:09:22,459
There are three today for once.
1325
01:09:22,667 --> 01:09:24,417
There are five of us. Who cares?
1326
01:09:26,334 --> 01:09:28,876
Six, counting you. Yeah, ok.
1327
01:09:29,667 --> 01:09:31,167
- What?
- I see four.
1328
01:09:31,376 --> 01:09:33,459
It all depends on how you count.
1329
01:09:33,667 --> 01:09:35,501
How long has she been held?
1330
01:09:35,709 --> 01:09:38,334
The pastry chef has sent cakes
for several years.
1331
01:09:38,959 --> 01:09:40,084
Several years?
1332
01:09:40,501 --> 01:09:41,542
What do we do?
1333
01:09:41,751 --> 01:09:44,376
Start with the three prats, maybe?
1334
01:09:45,042 --> 01:09:46,042
You mean us?
1335
01:09:47,292 --> 01:09:48,292
Them, moron!
1336
01:09:48,376 --> 01:09:49,792
We'll pulverize them!
1337
01:09:50,001 --> 01:09:51,917
Don't lay into them like mad.
1338
01:09:52,126 --> 01:09:53,292
Just keep them here.
1339
01:09:53,501 --> 01:09:56,251
We have a new technique,
without weapons.
1340
01:09:56,459 --> 01:09:58,626
We talk them into submission.
1341
01:09:59,917 --> 01:10:01,292
How do you alert her?
1342
01:10:01,501 --> 01:10:03,376
When the guard changes,
I throw gravel.
1343
01:10:04,001 --> 01:10:05,042
I'll go.
1344
01:10:05,584 --> 01:10:07,626
No! What's he doing? No!
1345
01:10:36,209 --> 01:10:38,126
Happy? They'll sound the alert.
1346
01:10:38,334 --> 01:10:39,334
I warned you!
1347
01:10:40,626 --> 01:10:41,959
We leave?
1348
01:10:42,167 --> 01:10:44,209
Maybe not now. But we move it.
1349
01:10:46,292 --> 01:10:47,917
You're using the door?
1350
01:10:48,334 --> 01:10:49,459
What else?
1351
01:10:49,959 --> 01:10:52,667
I have to climb up using the creeper.
1352
01:10:52,876 --> 01:10:54,876
- Why?
- It's my first time.
1353
01:10:55,084 --> 01:10:56,376
My quest for my love.
1354
01:10:56,584 --> 01:10:57,626
There's a creeper.
1355
01:10:57,834 --> 01:11:00,042
I won't use the stairs like a loser.
1356
01:11:05,126 --> 01:11:07,292
- Is it you, my friend?
- Yes, my love!
1357
01:11:07,501 --> 01:11:08,542
What a thrill!
1358
01:11:08,751 --> 01:11:09,959
I'm here to free you.
1359
01:11:10,667 --> 01:11:11,667
Free me?
1360
01:11:11,709 --> 01:11:13,042
Heavens, can that be?
1361
01:11:15,959 --> 01:11:18,126
Did you hear that? Free me!
1362
01:11:18,334 --> 01:11:19,334
We leave at last!
1363
01:11:19,751 --> 01:11:21,751
I haven't packed madam's bags.
1364
01:11:22,126 --> 01:11:23,126
I don't care.
1365
01:11:23,292 --> 01:11:25,751
Just take my suitor's messages.
1366
01:11:26,167 --> 01:11:27,501
My saviour!
1367
01:11:27,709 --> 01:11:28,709
Nearly there!
1368
01:11:34,751 --> 01:11:37,459
Sorry to spoil things,
but it's taking too long.
1369
01:11:37,667 --> 01:11:39,292
They'll be back with others.
1370
01:11:39,501 --> 01:11:40,292
I'll hurry.
1371
01:11:40,501 --> 01:11:41,792
Shit, this is tough.
1372
01:11:42,001 --> 01:11:43,751
- Take the stairs.
- No!
1373
01:11:45,126 --> 01:11:47,126
There's a door to break down.
1374
01:11:47,334 --> 01:11:49,792
You can't bring Guinevere
down this way.
1375
01:11:50,167 --> 01:11:52,709
Can you take the stairs
and pick the lock?
1376
01:11:52,917 --> 01:11:54,751
It'll save time.
1377
01:11:56,584 --> 01:11:57,376
What a thrill!
1378
01:11:57,584 --> 01:12:00,042
Madam realizes
I can't give her privacy?
1379
01:12:00,251 --> 01:12:02,209
I'm locked in here too.
1380
01:12:09,792 --> 01:12:11,334
My love?
1381
01:12:11,542 --> 01:12:14,667
No. Stand back.
We're breaking the door down.
1382
01:12:14,876 --> 01:12:17,876
My god! Am I dreaming?
1383
01:12:18,084 --> 01:12:19,084
That voice...
1384
01:12:19,209 --> 01:12:21,959
Yes, it's me.
Is anyone behind the door?
1385
01:12:24,292 --> 01:12:25,501
- Go on then.
- Me?
1386
01:12:25,709 --> 01:12:27,876
Please.
My good shoulder is shot.
1387
01:12:28,251 --> 01:12:29,459
Go on.
1388
01:12:46,167 --> 01:12:48,334
- Ok, stand aside.
- But, sire...
1389
01:12:54,251 --> 01:12:56,584
You're alive! I knew it.
1390
01:12:56,792 --> 01:12:58,209
I just knew it.
1391
01:12:58,417 --> 01:13:01,667
Madam, your suitor has moved
a foot or two.
1392
01:13:01,876 --> 01:13:02,667
Downwards.
1393
01:13:02,876 --> 01:13:03,667
Oh, yes.
1394
01:13:03,876 --> 01:13:06,959
Forgive me,
I realize this may be awkward,
1395
01:13:07,167 --> 01:13:09,876
but I happen to be awaiting...
1396
01:13:10,084 --> 01:13:10,876
That's ok.
1397
01:13:11,084 --> 01:13:13,126
I did the door
in case the guards return.
1398
01:13:13,334 --> 01:13:15,959
If you have to leave fast,
take the stairs.
1399
01:13:16,167 --> 01:13:17,751
Thank you. Sorry.
1400
01:13:17,959 --> 01:13:19,376
It's all right.
1401
01:13:19,834 --> 01:13:23,667
I'll take this opportunity
to go down too.
1402
01:13:24,209 --> 01:13:25,959
If ever madam...
1403
01:13:30,292 --> 01:13:31,334
Right.
1404
01:13:32,001 --> 01:13:35,251
Stand 200 steps along the path
in case anyone comes.
1405
01:13:35,584 --> 01:13:36,834
On the path?
1406
01:13:38,209 --> 01:13:39,792
Go 200 steps along it
1407
01:13:40,001 --> 01:13:42,001
- and stand guard.
- If no one comes, we come back.
1408
01:13:43,876 --> 01:13:46,792
No. Stand guard
in case anyone comes.
1409
01:13:47,001 --> 01:13:48,209
If no one does?
1410
01:13:48,417 --> 01:13:50,834
If no one comes, good.
Stand guard.
1411
01:13:51,042 --> 01:13:52,334
That changes nothing.
1412
01:13:52,542 --> 01:13:53,834
Can't we stand guard here?
1413
01:13:55,251 --> 01:13:56,709
Go 200 steps first.
1414
01:13:56,917 --> 01:13:59,084
Wasn't it in case anyone comes?
1415
01:13:59,292 --> 01:14:01,084
What if one stays here?
1416
01:14:01,292 --> 01:14:04,042
No one stays here.
Go 200 steps along the path.
1417
01:14:04,251 --> 01:14:05,417
Oh, right!
1418
01:14:06,001 --> 01:14:07,001
And stand guard.
1419
01:14:07,126 --> 01:14:09,751
- In case anyone comes.
- In case... yes.
1420
01:14:09,959 --> 01:14:12,334
But stand guard anyway.
1421
01:14:12,542 --> 01:14:13,709
Even if no one comes.
1422
01:14:13,917 --> 01:14:15,667
- Don't come back.
- Ok.
1423
01:14:18,417 --> 01:14:19,417
Go on.
1424
01:14:21,209 --> 01:14:22,209
Well?
1425
01:14:22,417 --> 01:14:25,126
You prefer me to start?
That's fine by me.
1426
01:14:25,542 --> 01:14:27,751
- Go 200 steps.
- Together?
1427
01:14:27,959 --> 01:14:28,959
That's it.
1428
01:14:29,042 --> 01:14:30,501
- After that...
- There!
1429
01:14:30,709 --> 01:14:31,501
We come back.
1430
01:14:31,709 --> 01:14:33,709
- No, stand guard.
- Ah, ok!
1431
01:14:33,917 --> 01:14:37,042
If no one comes, we do 200 more,
all the way to the sea.
1432
01:14:41,834 --> 01:14:44,626
- Can you manage, my friend?
- Coming, my love.
1433
01:14:45,251 --> 01:14:46,667
This is too tough.
1434
01:14:46,876 --> 01:14:48,334
It's full of thorns!
1435
01:14:48,542 --> 01:14:49,542
Hurry up now.
1436
01:14:49,667 --> 01:14:52,001
We can't hang about.
We iced a Saxon.
1437
01:14:52,209 --> 01:14:53,209
I give up.
1438
01:14:53,292 --> 01:14:54,917
I'm on the wrong quest.
1439
01:14:55,501 --> 01:14:56,959
What's that? Give up?
1440
01:14:57,167 --> 01:14:58,876
I'll become a knight another way.
1441
01:14:59,084 --> 01:15:00,292
Aren't you in love?
1442
01:15:00,959 --> 01:15:02,042
Well...
1443
01:15:02,251 --> 01:15:03,251
Why not,
1444
01:15:03,376 --> 01:15:06,292
but I think I got a bit carried away.
1445
01:15:06,501 --> 01:15:08,959
For me, a good quest
would be more...
1446
01:15:14,417 --> 01:15:17,417
Tell her no one's climbing up
and to come down.
1447
01:15:17,626 --> 01:15:18,751
We're splitting.
1448
01:15:18,959 --> 01:15:20,001
No more lover?
1449
01:15:20,834 --> 01:15:23,376
No more lover...
I don't know. Maybe.
1450
01:15:23,584 --> 01:15:26,084
We'll see.
In any case, he'll be less...
1451
01:15:26,292 --> 01:15:27,292
Move!
1452
01:16:14,251 --> 01:16:15,709
Who are these idlers?
1453
01:16:15,917 --> 01:16:17,251
What are they up to?
1454
01:16:17,876 --> 01:16:19,751
Excalibur!
1455
01:16:20,292 --> 01:16:21,501
Forged on site!
1456
01:16:21,709 --> 01:16:24,792
The sword of kings
forged near the stone of gods.
1457
01:16:25,001 --> 01:16:26,126
Just handfuls left.
1458
01:16:30,542 --> 01:16:34,084
The great Merlin will command
the wind and lightning.
1459
01:16:34,292 --> 01:16:36,459
Hey, lads! Wooden figurines?
1460
01:16:36,667 --> 01:16:39,709
I have Arthur, Lancelot,
Merlin, Guinevere...
1461
01:16:39,917 --> 01:16:42,542
Excalibur,
the herb tea of the gods.
1462
01:16:42,751 --> 01:16:45,751
A miracle cure
for gas and ingrown nails.
1463
01:16:45,959 --> 01:16:49,126
As well as for dental pain
and flat feet.
1464
01:16:52,042 --> 01:16:54,709
Keep away from the stone.
They'll chase you off.
1465
01:16:57,709 --> 01:16:58,876
You can't go any further.
1466
01:16:59,084 --> 01:17:00,292
The sky will turn dark
1467
01:17:00,501 --> 01:17:03,042
and a divine wind
will strike kaamelott
1468
01:17:03,251 --> 01:17:05,042
down to the distant sea.
1469
01:17:05,251 --> 01:17:08,334
Arthur pendragon
sits at the round table and says,
1470
01:17:08,542 --> 01:17:11,459
"friends, this table
is like some cheeses.
1471
01:17:11,959 --> 01:17:15,834
We can divide it equally,
but it will be hard to grate."
1472
01:17:16,459 --> 01:17:18,001
It's him!
1473
01:17:18,209 --> 01:17:20,209
It's him, it's him!
1474
01:17:21,876 --> 01:17:22,959
Who's she?
1475
01:17:23,167 --> 01:17:24,959
The lady of the lake.
1476
01:17:25,167 --> 01:17:26,876
Isn't she invisible?
1477
01:17:27,084 --> 01:17:29,792
I've been banished, you dicks!
Banished!
1478
01:17:30,001 --> 01:17:32,709
Because this guy refused the mission
1479
01:17:32,917 --> 01:17:34,459
entrusted by the gods.
1480
01:17:34,667 --> 01:17:36,876
It's why you're here, isn't it?
1481
01:17:37,751 --> 01:17:38,876
It is, actually.
1482
01:17:39,084 --> 01:17:40,584
I thought I could try...
1483
01:17:40,792 --> 01:17:42,959
Yes, you're going to try!
1484
01:17:43,167 --> 01:17:45,209
And don't chicken out, ok?
1485
01:17:45,417 --> 01:17:46,751
Only...
1486
01:17:47,459 --> 01:17:49,334
What's going on here?
1487
01:17:49,542 --> 01:17:52,126
What's all this about?
1488
01:17:57,417 --> 01:17:58,667
What's he doing here?
1489
01:18:01,667 --> 01:18:03,626
Halt, ill-advised peasants!
1490
01:18:03,834 --> 01:18:06,876
Turn back now or you'll be shaken.
1491
01:18:07,084 --> 01:18:08,084
Not stirred.
1492
01:18:08,251 --> 01:18:09,376
Don't you recognize me?
1493
01:18:09,917 --> 01:18:11,001
Make an effort.
1494
01:18:13,292 --> 01:18:16,292
I cross my fingers
and many people's paths.
1495
01:18:16,501 --> 01:18:18,417
The stone of gods is off limits.
1496
01:18:18,626 --> 01:18:19,751
Turn back or else.
1497
01:18:19,959 --> 01:18:22,417
Why are you here, you swine?
1498
01:18:23,001 --> 01:18:24,667
- You?
- Let us by, dickhead.
1499
01:18:24,876 --> 01:18:26,001
No time for wimps.
1500
01:18:26,209 --> 01:18:27,376
You know each other?
1501
01:18:27,584 --> 01:18:28,584
By sight.
1502
01:18:28,626 --> 01:18:30,959
Sir percival is my brother.
1503
01:18:31,501 --> 01:18:32,584
Your brother?
1504
01:18:32,792 --> 01:18:34,834
What? He's my brother, lamorak!
1505
01:18:35,042 --> 01:18:37,376
How come we never saw him before?
1506
01:18:37,584 --> 01:18:39,459
He's no brother, he's a moron.
1507
01:18:39,667 --> 01:18:41,626
My brother is too, but you know him.
1508
01:18:41,834 --> 01:18:43,376
Yours is enough.
1509
01:18:43,584 --> 01:18:44,584
Sire, do we waste him?
1510
01:18:44,751 --> 01:18:45,751
Who do you call sire?
1511
01:18:45,834 --> 01:18:48,709
The only sire here
is he who removes Excalibur.
1512
01:18:48,917 --> 01:18:50,292
That's why we came,
1513
01:18:50,501 --> 01:18:52,376
but you block the path
with your wimps.
1514
01:18:52,584 --> 01:18:56,292
Only the chosen one
can remove Excalibur.
1515
01:18:56,501 --> 01:18:57,501
So why
1516
01:18:57,542 --> 01:18:59,126
stop people from trying?
1517
01:18:59,334 --> 01:19:00,709
In case an unchosen one
1518
01:19:00,917 --> 01:19:02,251
forces it out.
1519
01:19:02,459 --> 01:19:03,626
Lamorak!
1520
01:19:04,167 --> 01:19:05,459
Know what, you dick?
1521
01:19:05,667 --> 01:19:07,042
One pitch, two teams.
1522
01:19:07,251 --> 01:19:08,917
Best of three at robobrole.
1523
01:19:10,084 --> 01:19:12,042
- You can't be serious.
- At what?
1524
01:19:12,251 --> 01:19:14,376
Robobrole! It's a Welsh game.
1525
01:19:14,792 --> 01:19:16,334
My brother sucks at it.
1526
01:19:16,542 --> 01:19:18,042
I don't suck at robobrole.
1527
01:19:18,709 --> 01:19:19,959
Even granny said so.
1528
01:19:22,209 --> 01:19:24,792
You want your king Arthur
to approach the stone?
1529
01:19:25,001 --> 01:19:26,542
Three rounds.
1530
01:19:26,751 --> 01:19:28,959
If you win, you can try.
If you lose,
1531
01:19:29,376 --> 01:19:31,792
you go to the farm
to tell dad and mum
1532
01:19:32,001 --> 01:19:33,001
I wiped you out.
1533
01:19:33,167 --> 01:19:34,792
All right. That's good.
1534
01:19:35,001 --> 01:19:36,042
Here's my idea.
1535
01:19:36,251 --> 01:19:38,459
Let me go to the stone and then
1536
01:19:38,667 --> 01:19:40,542
play all the Welsh games you want.
1537
01:19:40,959 --> 01:19:42,376
Stay away from it.
1538
01:19:47,167 --> 01:19:48,584
Unless you win.
1539
01:19:59,667 --> 01:20:01,626
Robobrole in three rounds!
1540
01:20:01,834 --> 01:20:04,084
Not one, not two, three!
1541
01:20:04,292 --> 01:20:05,292
Nine shells.
1542
01:20:05,501 --> 01:20:09,376
We can multiply the brobin
by 1, 4, 6, 21 and 3.
1543
01:20:09,584 --> 01:20:11,959
The brobons too,
except 4, 6 and 4.
1544
01:20:12,167 --> 01:20:14,292
The brobinle is set at 24 points.
1545
01:20:14,501 --> 01:20:18,417
Three turn-robobrins,
winning pass, ratou-robole
1546
01:20:18,626 --> 01:20:22,042
and, for those who are real men,
robobrole!
1547
01:20:23,709 --> 01:20:25,501
If anyone scores robobrole...
1548
01:20:25,709 --> 01:20:27,417
Don't count on it, guys.
1549
01:20:27,626 --> 01:20:28,626
Question?
1550
01:20:28,876 --> 01:20:29,876
What isn't clear?
1551
01:20:30,042 --> 01:20:32,834
- Go on?
- Is there a ball or anything?
1552
01:20:33,334 --> 01:20:34,667
- Usually, no.
- Want one?
1553
01:20:34,876 --> 01:20:36,334
No, count me out.
1554
01:20:36,542 --> 01:20:37,834
A ball changes nothing.
1555
01:20:38,042 --> 01:20:40,209
- The points are what matter.
- Bring a ball.
1556
01:20:40,417 --> 01:20:42,376
All right, lads! Here we go!
1557
01:20:47,667 --> 01:20:49,542
Don't let them impress you!
1558
01:20:49,751 --> 01:20:51,751
Fall back to the 21 line.
1559
01:20:56,292 --> 01:20:57,292
There!
1560
01:20:57,667 --> 01:20:59,459
Sire, take 31 players
1561
01:20:59,667 --> 01:21:01,876
and stay 15 feet behind the robourle.
1562
01:21:02,084 --> 01:21:03,542
Stop calling him sire!
1563
01:21:03,751 --> 01:21:04,751
Everyone else, attack!
1564
01:21:04,959 --> 01:21:06,876
Boubin, broube, roubou to six.
1565
01:21:07,084 --> 01:21:08,501
Go on, get stuck in!
1566
01:21:10,084 --> 01:21:12,334
You said 31 players?
There are five of us.
1567
01:21:12,542 --> 01:21:15,084
Don't quibble.
It's not the round table.
1568
01:21:15,292 --> 01:21:16,584
Play!
1569
01:21:33,334 --> 01:21:34,542
Drop the ball for a brobinle.
1570
01:21:34,751 --> 01:21:35,792
24 points in one go.
1571
01:21:44,792 --> 01:21:46,667
Some people think too much.
1572
01:21:57,084 --> 01:21:59,459
Sire, forget the ball.
It's not important.
1573
01:21:59,667 --> 01:22:00,667
So what do I do?
1574
01:22:00,876 --> 01:22:02,001
You win points!
1575
01:22:02,417 --> 01:22:03,501
Play for points!
1576
01:22:04,084 --> 01:22:05,876
16! Aline of 16.
1577
01:22:06,084 --> 01:22:08,417
Where? You're four shells down.
1578
01:22:10,917 --> 01:22:11,917
Seven.
1579
01:22:14,251 --> 01:22:15,251
Three.
1580
01:22:17,001 --> 01:22:18,876
Robourle! Sound the horn.
1581
01:22:19,084 --> 01:22:20,334
Robourle or roubourle?
1582
01:22:20,542 --> 01:22:22,209
Robourle, not roubourle.
1583
01:22:22,417 --> 01:22:24,126
No robourle.
1584
01:22:26,751 --> 01:22:28,417
That's no robourle.
1585
01:22:30,084 --> 01:22:31,126
That'll teach you.
1586
01:22:34,542 --> 01:22:37,334
Make the most
of the bobrol-roubrelo-crobrocres!
1587
01:22:37,542 --> 01:22:39,501
We won't get another chance like it!
1588
01:22:58,834 --> 01:23:00,001
What a pain!
1589
01:23:04,376 --> 01:23:07,042
What? Does that count as a foul?
1590
01:23:07,251 --> 01:23:08,251
Robobrole!
1591
01:23:08,459 --> 01:23:09,459
Unbelievable!
1592
01:23:09,667 --> 01:23:10,667
What now?
1593
01:23:10,709 --> 01:23:12,501
Robobrole! We win!
1594
01:23:12,709 --> 01:23:13,792
You've played before.
1595
01:23:14,001 --> 01:23:15,042
I haven't.
1596
01:23:15,251 --> 01:23:18,667
If I'd kneed one in the nuts,
we'd have won right away?
1597
01:23:18,876 --> 01:23:21,042
No, sire.
Robobrole is more than kneeing.
1598
01:23:21,251 --> 01:23:23,459
Can he pull the sword out now?
1599
01:23:24,001 --> 01:23:25,292
He can try anyhow.
1600
01:25:58,376 --> 01:25:59,417
I raise my horn,
1601
01:25:59,626 --> 01:26:02,792
a horn full of disgustingly bad plonk.
1602
01:26:03,001 --> 01:26:04,501
Even worse than usual.
1603
01:26:04,709 --> 01:26:07,376
Lancelot bans imported wines.
It's local.
1604
01:26:07,584 --> 01:26:09,501
Just saying it's bad.
1605
01:26:09,709 --> 01:26:11,959
I drink to my daughter's return
1606
01:26:12,167 --> 01:26:14,126
and the accursed nitwit
thought dead
1607
01:26:14,334 --> 01:26:15,334
who freed her.
1608
01:26:20,876 --> 01:26:23,292
What about our resurrected champions?
1609
01:26:23,501 --> 01:26:25,917
We'd got used to you being dead.
1610
01:26:26,126 --> 01:26:28,667
Not me,
but I have no idea who you are.
1611
01:26:28,876 --> 01:26:31,751
You can say we founded
what people call
1612
01:26:31,959 --> 01:26:32,959
the arthurian age.
1613
01:26:33,084 --> 01:26:33,876
We did it all.
1614
01:26:34,084 --> 01:26:35,459
We set up britain.
1615
01:26:35,667 --> 01:26:38,001
The Navy. The metal industry.
The spice trade.
1616
01:26:38,209 --> 01:26:39,209
Before, with a cut,
1617
01:26:39,417 --> 01:26:40,417
you'd rot away.
1618
01:26:40,501 --> 01:26:41,876
With Arthur, you got care.
1619
01:26:42,084 --> 01:26:43,667
750,000 health centres.
1620
01:26:43,876 --> 01:26:45,501
- Who did that?
- Artour!
1621
01:26:46,042 --> 01:26:46,834
What?
1622
01:26:47,042 --> 01:26:48,959
The chicken is spectacular!
1623
01:26:50,542 --> 01:26:52,001
Why is he here exactly?
1624
01:26:52,209 --> 01:26:53,376
It's touchy.
1625
01:26:53,876 --> 01:26:55,376
Is my guest a problem?
1626
01:26:55,834 --> 01:26:56,876
Guests can be dismissed.
1627
01:26:57,084 --> 01:26:59,126
By order of arrival,
he won't be dismissed first.
1628
01:26:59,626 --> 01:27:01,376
Fine, but why is he here?
1629
01:27:01,584 --> 01:27:02,667
Your father's whim.
1630
01:27:02,876 --> 01:27:03,876
A sort of fancy.
1631
01:27:03,917 --> 01:27:06,001
That lump arrived with his weirdos...
1632
01:27:06,209 --> 01:27:07,209
To besiege us.
1633
01:27:07,251 --> 01:27:08,542
Who's telling this?
1634
01:27:08,751 --> 01:27:12,542
We're feeding a guy who came
to put arrows in our derrieres!
1635
01:27:12,751 --> 01:27:15,834
The siege failed and your father, bam!
1636
01:27:16,042 --> 01:27:18,501
For some reason,
he set them up on our land
1637
01:27:18,709 --> 01:27:21,459
with war machines, tents
and the works.
1638
01:27:21,667 --> 01:27:23,042
I don't regret it.
1639
01:27:23,251 --> 01:27:25,876
What if the saxons raid
and find their arsenal?
1640
01:27:26,292 --> 01:27:28,334
Do you think
they'll show understanding?
1641
01:27:28,542 --> 01:27:32,292
If the saxons raid, we're all dead.
1642
01:27:32,501 --> 01:27:33,501
They're not our towers.
1643
01:27:33,667 --> 01:27:36,417
Towers are banned,
yours or others'.
1644
01:27:36,626 --> 01:27:37,959
They'll seize them.
1645
01:27:38,167 --> 01:27:41,417
Before they do that,
can't we try something?
1646
01:27:41,626 --> 01:27:44,501
You imagine
you gave me the idea, perhaps?
1647
01:27:44,709 --> 01:27:47,001
We don't have one crossbowman left!
1648
01:27:47,209 --> 01:27:49,251
And theirs can't be trained.
1649
01:27:49,459 --> 01:27:50,667
Anyone can be trained.
1650
01:27:50,876 --> 01:27:51,917
No, not them.
1651
01:27:52,126 --> 01:27:54,251
Can't you do that?
1652
01:27:54,792 --> 01:27:56,167
What can't I do?
1653
01:27:56,376 --> 01:27:59,792
Train troops, do sieges, all that.
1654
01:28:00,001 --> 01:28:01,042
Didn't you do it once?
1655
01:28:01,251 --> 01:28:03,084
Yes, but I didn't train morons.
1656
01:28:03,292 --> 01:28:05,792
Well, I did,
but not this moronic.
1657
01:28:15,417 --> 01:28:16,667
Along with...
1658
01:28:19,501 --> 01:28:21,709
Their machines get piled up.
1659
01:28:21,917 --> 01:28:24,834
It takes three days
to untangle everything.
1660
01:28:25,042 --> 01:28:26,542
I spent two weeks
1661
01:28:26,751 --> 01:28:28,376
yelling my lungs out
1662
01:28:28,584 --> 01:28:31,126
and never got two
to march side by side.
1663
01:28:31,334 --> 01:28:32,709
They can't be trained.
1664
01:28:46,001 --> 01:28:47,542
What are you up to?
1665
01:28:47,751 --> 01:28:49,376
You gave me a fright.
1666
01:28:49,584 --> 01:28:50,917
You're taking off?
1667
01:28:51,417 --> 01:28:55,084
If I'm wearing a cape,
that means I'm taking off?
1668
01:28:55,292 --> 01:28:56,876
You're not taking off?
1669
01:28:57,751 --> 01:29:02,001
I am. But if I say where,
you'll only yell.
1670
01:29:02,751 --> 01:29:04,959
I'm likely not to give a damn,
1671
01:29:05,167 --> 01:29:07,084
but tell me and we'll see.
1672
01:29:08,084 --> 01:29:10,751
I forgot something at the tower.
1673
01:29:11,501 --> 01:29:13,751
The tower? The ban ruins?
1674
01:29:13,959 --> 01:29:17,917
Yes. In the rush,
when things always have to go fast,
1675
01:29:18,126 --> 01:29:20,542
I thought I got everything,
but I didn't.
1676
01:29:20,751 --> 01:29:24,751
You're going to the ban ruins now?
A four-hour walk?
1677
01:29:25,376 --> 01:29:27,417
Four? I thought it was three.
1678
01:29:27,959 --> 01:29:29,751
By day. It's four at night.
1679
01:29:29,959 --> 01:29:33,876
Hold on, you can't leave for ban now.
Be serious.
1680
01:29:34,084 --> 01:29:37,626
I forgot my crown of flowers,
so I'm fetching it.
1681
01:29:37,834 --> 01:29:39,126
Your crown of flowers?
1682
01:29:39,334 --> 01:29:41,042
Who cares about that?
1683
01:29:41,251 --> 01:29:44,459
We save you and you go back?
Are you crazy?
1684
01:29:44,667 --> 01:29:48,876
If you freed me to stop me
from moving freely, why bother?
1685
01:29:49,084 --> 01:29:50,501
I'm not stopping you.
1686
01:29:50,709 --> 01:29:53,876
I'm going to get my crown of flowers.
1687
01:29:54,084 --> 01:29:57,001
It's not my crown of flowers,
it's yours.
1688
01:29:57,209 --> 01:29:59,917
My crown of flowers?
No, I don't have one.
1689
01:30:00,626 --> 01:30:03,834
The one you wore on our wedding day.
1690
01:30:04,042 --> 01:30:07,334
It's not as important for you
since you never care
1691
01:30:07,542 --> 01:30:10,584
as for me who gets soppy
about symbols.
1692
01:30:10,792 --> 01:30:13,167
I'll add that it's a lucky charm
1693
01:30:13,376 --> 01:30:15,501
that, I've been told,
1694
01:30:15,709 --> 01:30:18,334
provided you
with security and Serenity
1695
01:30:18,542 --> 01:30:20,501
as long as I had it with me.
1696
01:30:20,709 --> 01:30:23,251
It ensured me security and Serenity?
1697
01:30:23,459 --> 01:30:24,834
It works really well!
1698
01:30:25,042 --> 01:30:29,084
Worth a night hike, risking patrols
or famished wolves.
1699
01:30:29,292 --> 01:30:30,542
Come on, let's go!
1700
01:30:30,751 --> 01:30:33,584
I'm going to fetch
my crown of flowers.
1701
01:30:37,459 --> 01:30:40,084
Let me change shoes
and put on a woolly.
1702
01:30:40,292 --> 01:30:43,251
I'm not asking you anything, my dear.
1703
01:30:43,459 --> 01:30:45,417
You've done so much for me.
1704
01:30:45,626 --> 01:30:47,209
You don't want me to come?
1705
01:30:47,876 --> 01:30:50,876
I do. Yes, I do, please.
1706
01:30:51,834 --> 01:30:53,084
But...
1707
01:30:53,709 --> 01:30:56,834
Don't grumble all the way.
1708
01:31:15,251 --> 01:31:16,251
I love it.
1709
01:31:19,084 --> 01:31:20,292
I just love it!
1710
01:31:21,751 --> 01:31:23,959
I don't get it.
1711
01:31:24,167 --> 01:31:26,959
You can't get them coordinated
on a battlefield,
1712
01:31:27,167 --> 01:31:28,542
but this they can do.
1713
01:31:56,667 --> 01:31:58,417
They're dumb, ok,
1714
01:31:58,626 --> 01:32:00,751
but they're good musicians.
1715
01:32:15,626 --> 01:32:17,917
Ok, let's hurry now.
1716
01:32:18,126 --> 01:32:20,459
You're not coming up with me?
1717
01:32:20,834 --> 01:32:22,376
No, I stand guard here. Go on.
1718
01:32:23,917 --> 01:32:24,917
All alone?
1719
01:32:25,042 --> 01:32:26,292
Go on, damn it!
1720
01:32:26,501 --> 01:32:28,917
We can't let a patrol
trap us up there.
1721
01:32:29,126 --> 01:32:30,792
I stand guard while you go.
1722
01:32:31,251 --> 01:32:34,001
And don't take a week, ok?
Go on.
1723
01:32:44,167 --> 01:32:46,709
- I hear noises!
- Hurry it up!
1724
01:37:02,376 --> 01:37:03,376
We send no one?
1725
01:37:03,792 --> 01:37:04,584
Stop asking.
1726
01:37:04,792 --> 01:37:07,126
Sorry, I ask each time.
1727
01:37:07,334 --> 01:37:10,376
You know, we think these are attacks,
but maybe
1728
01:37:10,584 --> 01:37:12,834
it's just a tradition for them.
1729
01:37:13,042 --> 01:37:14,084
A show then?
1730
01:37:14,292 --> 01:37:15,876
Should we toss them coins?
1731
01:37:34,334 --> 01:37:35,751
Hear anything?
1732
01:37:35,959 --> 01:37:36,959
Yeah, just now.
1733
01:37:37,084 --> 01:37:40,042
A moronic voice asking,
"hear anything?"
1734
01:37:58,959 --> 01:38:00,834
- Drum.
- Sure?
1735
01:38:01,042 --> 01:38:03,626
Of course I'm sure.
Don't start. Drum!
1736
01:38:04,209 --> 01:38:06,292
- Drum.
- Yeah, I got that.
1737
01:38:07,501 --> 01:38:08,917
Drum!
1738
01:38:29,501 --> 01:38:32,001
That's new, they're doing it to music.
1739
01:38:38,709 --> 01:38:40,876
Remember,
this self-styled civilization
1740
01:38:41,084 --> 01:38:43,959
has known centuries of in-breeding.
1741
01:38:44,167 --> 01:38:45,917
They're retards.
1742
01:39:53,459 --> 01:39:55,501
What now? Do something fast!
1743
01:39:55,709 --> 01:39:58,959
- We send the lancers?
- Too late! They're in place.
1744
01:39:59,167 --> 01:40:01,417
- I don't know.
- Then shut up!
1745
01:40:01,626 --> 01:40:03,334
- It's now!
- Of course!
1746
01:40:03,542 --> 01:40:04,542
I say no.
1747
01:40:04,709 --> 01:40:05,917
Stop being a wimp.
1748
01:40:06,126 --> 01:40:07,209
You'll ruin it!
1749
01:40:07,417 --> 01:40:08,501
React, damn it!
1750
01:40:08,709 --> 01:40:10,584
Give an order right now!
1751
01:40:10,792 --> 01:40:13,167
An order, you mouldy lizard!
1752
01:40:13,376 --> 01:40:14,792
What's going on down below?
1753
01:40:15,001 --> 01:40:16,417
Lancelot will react.
1754
01:40:16,626 --> 01:40:17,417
I bet it's my dad.
1755
01:40:17,626 --> 01:40:21,417
No, I won't collapse our work
for a vague notion.
1756
01:40:21,626 --> 01:40:24,084
- For god's sake!
- Want a slap in the face?
1757
01:40:24,292 --> 01:40:25,417
We'll wreck it all!
1758
01:40:25,626 --> 01:40:28,001
It'll hurt,
but Arthur ordered it.
1759
01:40:28,209 --> 01:40:31,292
Sure, after ten years,
he turns up and says,
1760
01:40:31,501 --> 01:40:32,959
"collapse it all."
1761
01:40:33,167 --> 01:40:34,334
No way!
1762
01:40:35,251 --> 01:40:37,376
Who leaves ropes lying around?
1763
01:41:57,167 --> 01:41:58,334
Get us out,
1764
01:41:58,542 --> 01:42:00,876
instead of just standing there,
you maniac!
1765
01:42:01,084 --> 01:42:02,876
A secret passage
1766
01:42:03,084 --> 01:42:05,292
leads from this room.
Everyone knows that!
1767
01:42:05,501 --> 01:42:07,626
Only Arthur knew the entrance.
1768
01:42:08,167 --> 01:42:10,584
We're not going to stay stuck in here,
1769
01:42:10,792 --> 01:42:12,501
waiting to die like rats!
1770
01:42:12,709 --> 01:42:15,792
Do you know
where that passage is or not?
1771
01:42:27,834 --> 01:42:28,959
You mean this?
1772
01:42:53,334 --> 01:42:54,584
Since we last met,
1773
01:42:54,792 --> 01:42:56,917
you can't have changed much.
1774
01:43:01,167 --> 01:43:03,626
Changed? In relation to what?
1775
01:43:05,001 --> 01:43:06,209
Bravery, honour, dignity.
1776
01:43:06,417 --> 01:43:07,834
Of course not.
1777
01:43:08,459 --> 01:43:10,292
Be gone. Far from here.
1778
01:43:10,959 --> 01:43:13,084
Return to logres and you'll be hanged.
1779
01:43:15,501 --> 01:43:16,501
Sire.
1780
01:43:21,917 --> 01:43:22,917
Hanged?
1781
01:43:24,834 --> 01:43:27,042
You'll hang people?
1782
01:43:32,584 --> 01:43:35,667
You're not very credible
as a merciless avenger.
1783
01:43:39,459 --> 01:43:42,126
Explain your plan
to your burgundy friends.
1784
01:43:42,334 --> 01:43:45,584
The idiots
are destroying your fortress.
1785
01:43:53,042 --> 01:43:55,292
I gave the order to open fire.
1786
01:43:59,334 --> 01:44:00,751
You have Excalibur?
1787
01:44:01,792 --> 01:44:03,626
I hear it's lost its powers,
1788
01:44:03,834 --> 01:44:06,792
that the gods
no longer back Arthur pendragon.
1789
01:46:06,542 --> 01:46:08,501
- Let's go.
- Everyone in the boats!
1790
01:46:08,709 --> 01:46:12,001
I said we'd reach the trireme by dark,
so we will!
1791
01:46:12,209 --> 01:46:13,542
Back to Rome!
1792
01:46:13,751 --> 01:46:15,084
Back to Rome!
1793
01:46:16,376 --> 01:46:17,376
Back to Rome!
1794
01:46:17,542 --> 01:46:19,334
Three years in this dump.
1795
01:46:19,542 --> 01:46:20,893
No more of that maniac yelling at us!
1796
01:46:20,917 --> 01:46:22,376
It won't change.
1797
01:46:28,709 --> 01:46:29,834
Where are you going?
1798
01:46:30,251 --> 01:46:31,251
Arturus!
1799
01:46:32,001 --> 01:46:33,292
What's going on?
1800
01:48:29,292 --> 01:48:30,917
Look.
1801
01:48:31,334 --> 01:48:34,042
By Minerva, what were you doing?
1802
01:48:34,251 --> 01:48:35,626
We nearly left you!
1803
01:48:35,834 --> 01:48:36,834
The tide's turning!
1804
01:48:37,042 --> 01:48:38,376
Climb in now!
1805
01:48:38,584 --> 01:48:39,584
In Rome,
1806
01:48:39,667 --> 01:48:42,126
you'll get three months' latrine duty!
1807
01:48:42,334 --> 01:48:44,084
Come on, row!
1808
01:48:44,292 --> 01:48:45,834
Row!
1809
01:49:19,459 --> 01:49:21,042
You're an incompetent.
1810
01:49:45,126 --> 01:49:46,626
You're an incompetent!
1811
01:51:04,209 --> 01:51:05,459
Sire!
1812
01:51:06,251 --> 01:51:08,042
Why the hell are you here?
1813
01:51:12,917 --> 01:51:14,667
- Sire, are you injured?
- Get him out!
1814
01:51:14,876 --> 01:51:16,542
No, I'm fine.
1815
01:51:16,751 --> 01:51:18,542
Couldn't you stay put?
1816
01:51:18,751 --> 01:51:19,792
You'd vanished.
1817
01:51:20,001 --> 01:51:22,209
We ended up finding the tunnel.
1818
01:51:22,417 --> 01:51:24,251
If you're ok, why lie down?
1819
01:51:24,709 --> 01:51:26,251
No reason. Let's get going.
1820
01:51:26,459 --> 01:51:27,459
No reason?
1821
01:51:32,917 --> 01:51:35,251
Let's go
before it all collapses on us!
1822
01:52:21,251 --> 01:52:25,834
Isle of thanet, Saxon territory
1823
01:52:44,501 --> 01:52:47,334
- Sire, may I ask something?
- Here we go...
1824
01:52:47,876 --> 01:52:49,834
Is thanet theirs or ours now?
1825
01:52:50,042 --> 01:52:50,834
Ours.
1826
01:52:51,042 --> 01:52:52,042
Like wales
1827
01:52:52,251 --> 01:52:55,251
where we demand
independence from logres?
1828
01:52:55,459 --> 01:52:58,876
Precisely.
I confess I'd like to know.
1829
01:52:59,584 --> 01:53:01,751
- Not independent.
- No.
1830
01:53:02,501 --> 01:53:03,667
Not independent?
1831
01:53:04,084 --> 01:53:06,084
You stay
under kaamelott's jurisdiction?
1832
01:53:06,292 --> 01:53:07,292
Yes.
1833
01:53:07,376 --> 01:53:08,667
Of course.
1834
01:53:10,126 --> 01:53:12,584
So, thanet
is still attached to logres?
1835
01:53:12,792 --> 01:53:14,042
- Yes.
- Obviously.
1836
01:53:14,251 --> 01:53:15,917
Everything's fine then.
1837
01:53:17,626 --> 01:53:20,667
I don't understand it all,
but it doesn't look so bad.
1838
01:53:20,876 --> 01:53:23,001
On one tiny condition.
1839
01:53:23,209 --> 01:53:24,542
Oh, right.
1840
01:53:25,209 --> 01:53:26,792
If you want money, forget it.
1841
01:53:27,001 --> 01:53:27,792
We're broke.
1842
01:53:28,001 --> 01:53:30,417
We can give you a loan.
1843
01:53:33,917 --> 01:53:36,042
Sire, I deduce
1844
01:53:36,251 --> 01:53:40,417
that you plan to re-establish
your famous round table.
1845
01:53:42,626 --> 01:53:43,626
Possibly.
1846
01:53:43,917 --> 01:53:47,876
A round table
much bigger than the first, right?
1847
01:53:50,209 --> 01:53:51,209
Possibly.
1848
01:53:52,167 --> 01:53:55,334
Sire, I won't beat about the bush.
1849
01:53:55,542 --> 01:53:58,292
I own an island
in the kingdom of logres.
1850
01:53:58,667 --> 01:54:00,459
And I've served kaamelott
1851
01:54:00,667 --> 01:54:04,334
in a loyal manner
for many long years...
1852
01:54:10,334 --> 01:54:12,876
I request a permanent seat
1853
01:54:13,084 --> 01:54:15,459
at your new round table.
1854
01:54:18,292 --> 01:54:19,334
Is he serious?
1855
01:54:20,334 --> 01:54:22,751
You can't let this nutter join.
1856
01:54:22,959 --> 01:54:24,917
He can keep his isle.
We never went there.
1857
01:54:25,126 --> 01:54:27,792
Logres is sacred
and can't be carved up.
1858
01:54:29,251 --> 01:54:30,584
That's true.
1859
01:54:32,876 --> 01:54:34,667
The quest for the grail.
1860
01:54:36,084 --> 01:54:38,459
When do we start?
1861
01:56:38,042 --> 01:56:41,417
Chapter one
1862
01:59:57,292 --> 02:00:00,251
Subtitles: Ian burley
1863
02:00:00,459 --> 02:00:02,459
subtitling: Eclair v&a
112995