Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,410 --> 00:00:06,780
♪♪
2
00:00:07,520 --> 00:00:11,460
Biggest change in this country
in the 10 years that I was gone?
3
00:00:11,550 --> 00:00:15,620
America went from being a boob
nation to being an ass nation.
4
00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:17,140
I mean, 30 years ago,
5
00:00:17,170 --> 00:00:20,370
if a company ran an ad campaign
on 3 TV networks
6
00:00:20,430 --> 00:00:22,900
and 10 magazines, everybody saw it.
7
00:00:22,980 --> 00:00:27,350
And what they saw mostly was
boobs... boobs, boobs, boobs.
8
00:00:27,380 --> 00:00:30,380
I mean, eventually,
we just forgot all about butts.
9
00:00:30,530 --> 00:00:31,590
[GROANS]
10
00:00:31,620 --> 00:00:35,660
We were just so relentlessly
hammered with images of boobs.
11
00:00:35,790 --> 00:00:39,690
And by the '80s, Charles,
big old fake boobs...
12
00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:43,070
Just these enormous sacks
of viscous chemicals
13
00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:46,820
that were bolted onto
the front of a woman's chest
14
00:00:46,870 --> 00:00:49,290
in defiance of all
good taste and gravity.
15
00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:50,990
Which gift basket does she get?
16
00:00:51,030 --> 00:00:52,560
Chantal? Oh, the "Jeter."
17
00:00:52,590 --> 00:00:53,920
Oh, my God. She earned it.
18
00:00:54,010 --> 00:00:57,440
You know, iPads don't grow on trees.
19
00:00:57,500 --> 00:00:59,960
Maybe you should consider
not giving the Jeter
20
00:01:00,010 --> 00:01:01,460
to every woman you bring home?
21
00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:04,890
No, Charles, I'm afraid I can't,
because I'm sexually generous
22
00:01:04,950 --> 00:01:06,900
in all the ways that
one could possibly be.
23
00:01:06,950 --> 00:01:09,620
Besides, those "Piazza" baskets
that you designed,
24
00:01:09,650 --> 00:01:11,760
Charles, they're confusing,
and they're unpopular.
25
00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:13,360
There's an element of sadness to them.
26
00:01:13,390 --> 00:01:16,090
Anywhoodles, I'm at the Big
Freedia bounce show last night,
27
00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:18,560
and I'm just...
I'm getting lost in the applause
28
00:01:18,590 --> 00:01:20,750
of like a hundred clapping asses.
29
00:01:20,770 --> 00:01:22,710
And it hits me, it dawns on me...
30
00:01:22,730 --> 00:01:24,670
I am surrounded by the very people
31
00:01:24,700 --> 00:01:27,020
that got America back into ass.
32
00:01:27,050 --> 00:01:29,040
I'm talking about straight black men,
33
00:01:29,070 --> 00:01:32,400
the gays, of course, and thick women.
God bless 'em.
34
00:01:32,430 --> 00:01:35,360
'Cause, see, when the Internet
expanded all media
35
00:01:35,380 --> 00:01:38,630
into the limitless chaos
that we know it to be today,
36
00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:41,240
the power of
the straight-white-male gaze
37
00:01:41,260 --> 00:01:43,070
got diluted, and all of a sudden,
38
00:01:43,100 --> 00:01:46,530
all these long-forgotten voices
could finally be heard, man,
39
00:01:46,550 --> 00:01:50,930
and they were screaming, "Butts!
Come on! Butts are wonderful!"
40
00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:53,100
And that, my friend,
is how the titty wool
41
00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:55,860
that had been pulled
over our collective eyes
42
00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:58,150
was finally lifted.
43
00:01:58,300 --> 00:01:59,620
She's waking up.
44
00:01:59,740 --> 00:02:01,170
Oh. I'll go hide in the bathroom.
45
00:02:01,230 --> 00:02:02,480
They always go to the bathroom.
46
00:02:02,530 --> 00:02:05,800
I'll hide in the pantry. Calm down.
47
00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:08,360
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS]
48
00:02:08,490 --> 00:02:11,430
♪♪
49
00:02:11,620 --> 00:02:14,220
I got the Jeter last time.
50
00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:15,820
What about that one?
51
00:02:15,870 --> 00:02:20,030
That one is reserved for someone
else, if she ever comes here.
52
00:02:20,090 --> 00:02:21,420
Which she won't.
53
00:02:21,490 --> 00:02:23,800
But I can get you two Piazzas instead.
54
00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:26,690
But those are in the pantry!
55
00:02:26,770 --> 00:02:27,850
Shit.
56
00:02:27,930 --> 00:02:29,120
[RUSTLING]
57
00:02:29,180 --> 00:02:31,450
Ta-da! Ha ha!
58
00:02:31,490 --> 00:02:34,420
There is one Piazza
for you right there.
59
00:02:34,530 --> 00:02:37,120
A Squatty Potty and olive oil?
60
00:02:37,300 --> 00:02:39,640
He's an Italian catcher.
61
00:02:39,690 --> 00:02:40,940
It's so obvious.
62
00:02:40,990 --> 00:02:43,190
And your second Piazza.
63
00:02:43,290 --> 00:02:45,450
There you go. Got it?
64
00:02:45,710 --> 00:02:47,440
Great to see you again.
65
00:02:47,650 --> 00:02:49,650
You take care, now.
66
00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:01,360
- In conclusion...
- You're still not done.
67
00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:02,970
...this country is only getting dumber
68
00:03:02,990 --> 00:03:04,590
and hotter and more crowded,
69
00:03:04,620 --> 00:03:06,550
but when I see butts of all shapes
70
00:03:06,610 --> 00:03:08,750
and sizes and colors
not only represented,
71
00:03:08,810 --> 00:03:11,870
but celebrated, well,
it gives me hope...
72
00:03:12,030 --> 00:03:14,700
Hope that things can still
change for the better.
73
00:03:14,810 --> 00:03:19,340
♪♪
74
00:03:20,420 --> 00:03:22,650
- Strike!
- Santos looks at a fastball.
75
00:03:22,750 --> 00:03:24,910
Count evens, 2-2.
76
00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:28,160
'Course, Santos is only playing today
77
00:03:28,230 --> 00:03:30,750
because Fitzgerald
finally got his call-up
78
00:03:30,780 --> 00:03:33,270
to the major leagues,
so congratulations to Fitz.
79
00:03:33,410 --> 00:03:34,550
- Get me another beer.
- No.
80
00:03:34,570 --> 00:03:35,580
- Come on.
- No.
81
00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:36,590
- Please.
- Focus.
82
00:03:36,610 --> 00:03:38,150
God damn it. [SWITCH CLICKS]
83
00:03:38,300 --> 00:03:40,550
Santos pops a curveball
up and out of play.
84
00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:42,450
You know, folks, I think I understand
85
00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:43,830
just how Fitzgerald felt.
86
00:03:43,850 --> 00:03:45,710
I mean, he was a star
here in New Orleans
87
00:03:45,750 --> 00:03:48,790
right from the get-go,
yet he had to wait and wait
88
00:03:48,810 --> 00:03:51,080
and wait for that call-up
to the major leagues,
89
00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:53,340
to the point where he probably
started to question
90
00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:55,790
the decision-making
of the Atlanta organization.
91
00:03:55,810 --> 00:03:57,490
As Santos bounces one to the left side,
92
00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:58,740
this should probably do it.
93
00:03:58,770 --> 00:04:01,040
And the New Orleans Crawdaddys
are gonna drop this one
94
00:04:01,060 --> 00:04:03,100
- to Nashville by a count of 7-2.
- Suck!
95
00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:04,600
I have been Jim Brockmire.
96
00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:07,130
Please stay tuned
for the postgame wrap-up.
97
00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:08,450
Let me ask you a question.
98
00:04:08,500 --> 00:04:11,050
Was it clear just now, when I
was talking about Fitzgerald,
99
00:04:11,070 --> 00:04:13,780
that I was actually referring
to my own career situation?
100
00:04:13,810 --> 00:04:15,150
Oh, that was intentional?
101
00:04:15,180 --> 00:04:19,240
I can never tell if you're
calculating or just spiraling.
102
00:04:19,310 --> 00:04:20,640
I mean, what's the holdup?
103
00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:22,230
Seriously? What do I have to do?
104
00:04:22,250 --> 00:04:24,490
I mean, I've played by all
their stupid rules, have I not?
105
00:04:24,510 --> 00:04:25,910
Art Newly is hard to replace.
106
00:04:25,990 --> 00:04:28,350
He's like a more likable
Vin Scully, and you're...
107
00:04:28,420 --> 00:04:30,390
- [BELCHES]
- ...not that.
108
00:04:30,420 --> 00:04:32,050
They can't do anything
with you publicly.
109
00:04:32,130 --> 00:04:33,600
It's gonna look like
they're pushing him out.
110
00:04:33,630 --> 00:04:35,190
Well, they won't have to push too hard.
111
00:04:35,220 --> 00:04:36,700
The man is 75 years old.
112
00:04:36,940 --> 00:04:40,100
A stiff breeze and an uneven
sidewalk, and down he will go.
113
00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:41,270
Want to hear some good news?
114
00:04:41,300 --> 00:04:44,600
As of today, we have the
number 3 podcast in America.
115
00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:46,930
No shit? Oh!
116
00:04:46,970 --> 00:04:50,710
Remind me to ask that
Marc Maron how my ass tastes.
117
00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:52,410
[CROWD CHANTING "BROCK!"] Charles:
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen,
118
00:04:52,430 --> 00:04:54,600
to another live episode
of "Brock Bottom,"
119
00:04:54,620 --> 00:04:56,670
brought to you by Old Spice Deodorant.
120
00:04:56,700 --> 00:04:58,300
Like Jim Brockmire, Old Spice
121
00:04:58,330 --> 00:05:00,410
is an original that still feels fresh.
122
00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:01,970
Now, without further ado,
123
00:05:02,070 --> 00:05:05,140
I'd like to present to you
the one-man MOTH
124
00:05:05,210 --> 00:05:07,920
and the best freestyle storyteller
125
00:05:07,940 --> 00:05:10,740
in the podcast game...
126
00:05:11,270 --> 00:05:12,430
Jim Brockmire.
127
00:05:12,530 --> 00:05:15,080
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
128
00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:21,870
♪♪
129
00:05:22,010 --> 00:05:23,680
Hey! All right!
130
00:05:23,750 --> 00:05:25,370
- I thank you.
- Whoo!
131
00:05:25,390 --> 00:05:27,780
Let's get right to it, shall we?
132
00:05:27,810 --> 00:05:31,990
I need a suggestion for a
90-minute improvised monologue.
133
00:05:32,140 --> 00:05:34,140
- Baseball!
- Pinstripes!
134
00:05:34,210 --> 00:05:35,840
- Wyoming!
- You said Wyoming.
135
00:05:35,870 --> 00:05:37,230
I heard Wichita.
136
00:05:37,260 --> 00:05:38,560
[LAUGHTER]
137
00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:40,420
Method to my madness on that one
138
00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:43,480
because the only person
that I ever knew from Wichita
139
00:05:43,540 --> 00:05:46,250
was none other than
television and film's.
140
00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:47,640
- Kirstie Alley.
- Yeah.
141
00:05:47,670 --> 00:05:49,010
- Yeah. Ooh!
- Oww!
142
00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:50,310
Now, this is a story
143
00:05:50,710 --> 00:05:52,110
about the first time
144
00:05:52,170 --> 00:05:54,520
that she tried to
convert me to Scientology.
145
00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:56,120
MAN: Yeah!
146
00:05:57,100 --> 00:05:59,610
[SLURRING] So, now, at this point...
147
00:06:00,970 --> 00:06:03,540
all the "Veronica's Closet"
writers, they g...
148
00:06:03,570 --> 00:06:04,830
They went home, okay?
149
00:06:04,850 --> 00:06:07,430
It's just me and Kirstie
alone in a dressing room,
150
00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:09,650
so I'm... I'm pretty psyched.
151
00:06:09,790 --> 00:06:14,260
Anyway, the room's really dark,
but I can just make out...
152
00:06:14,350 --> 00:06:17,490
I could just see this... this tear,
153
00:06:17,610 --> 00:06:20,380
one single tear
kind of gently making her...
154
00:06:20,450 --> 00:06:23,240
Its way down her face.
155
00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:25,540
So I got down.
156
00:06:25,620 --> 00:06:27,950
[GROANING] Okay.
157
00:06:28,070 --> 00:06:32,510
I said, "Kirstie, why are you crying?"
158
00:06:32,620 --> 00:06:33,690
[LAUGHTER]
159
00:06:33,770 --> 00:06:35,970
And she pulled me close,
160
00:06:36,150 --> 00:06:39,430
and she whispered one word
into my ear, folks.
161
00:06:39,550 --> 00:06:41,410
She said...
162
00:06:42,100 --> 00:06:43,600
"Wichita!"
163
00:06:43,630 --> 00:06:45,100
[LAUGHTER]
164
00:06:45,180 --> 00:06:46,410
"Wichita!"
165
00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:48,650
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
166
00:06:53,450 --> 00:06:54,720
Appreciate it. Next up.
167
00:06:54,750 --> 00:06:56,150
Come on up. Step right up.
168
00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:58,210
This is a small-batch rye,
aged 18 years.
169
00:06:58,240 --> 00:06:59,300
Ooh!
170
00:06:59,330 --> 00:07:01,120
Yeah, m-my dad was an alcoholic.
171
00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:03,270
Instead of telling fun stories,
he'd get angry
172
00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:05,990
and make us all fight
for the last uncooked hot dog.
173
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,360
Okay, we're gonna let that sad story
174
00:07:08,380 --> 00:07:10,040
just die right there on the vine,
175
00:07:10,060 --> 00:07:11,870
and we're gonna take
a lovely photo together, okay?
176
00:07:11,950 --> 00:07:13,550
Right there. [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]
177
00:07:13,590 --> 00:07:15,320
All right.
Thank you so much for coming.
178
00:07:15,390 --> 00:07:16,730
Appreciate it. Step right up.
179
00:07:16,750 --> 00:07:19,370
What do you got there?
Are these magic mush...
180
00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:21,930
Oh, the... Oh! These are all caps, too.
181
00:07:22,090 --> 00:07:23,160
Oh, my goodness.
182
00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:25,860
Well, if history has
taught us anything,
183
00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:28,390
it's that this evening
is almost certain to end
184
00:07:28,410 --> 00:07:30,210
with me stealing a boat.
185
00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:31,260
Is that something?
186
00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:33,140
- I don't even know why.
- Hey, uh, Jim. Could I...
187
00:07:33,570 --> 00:07:34,780
Y... One... Pardon me a moment.
188
00:07:34,830 --> 00:07:36,050
Yes, my friend?
189
00:07:36,070 --> 00:07:38,810
Art Newly just announced
that he's officially retiring
190
00:07:38,830 --> 00:07:39,830
at the end of the season,
191
00:07:39,850 --> 00:07:42,500
and the new head of PR from Atlanta
192
00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:43,830
is coming down tomorrow for a meeting.
193
00:07:43,860 --> 00:07:45,380
Now, I don't want you to read
too much into this.
194
00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:48,480
- Holy shit! I did it! I did it!
- We still don't know.
195
00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:50,320
No, I made it back to the top
of the mountain, Charles.
196
00:07:50,380 --> 00:07:51,380
Oh, my God!
197
00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:52,840
I could not have done it without you.
198
00:07:52,860 --> 00:07:55,460
I love you! Mwah! I love you, Charles.
199
00:07:55,940 --> 00:07:57,560
I can't believe you won't
say it back to me.
200
00:07:57,580 --> 00:07:58,900
I am not gonna say it,
201
00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:00,660
and I can't believe
you're saying it to me.
202
00:08:00,700 --> 00:08:02,110
That's just gonna make it
all the sweeter
203
00:08:02,130 --> 00:08:03,610
when I finally wear you down.
204
00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:06,010
But tonight is about celebratin', baby!
205
00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:07,500
Not too hard.
206
00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:08,910
You s... You have the meeting tomorrow.
207
00:08:08,930 --> 00:08:10,410
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right. Hey, everybody.
208
00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:12,300
Everybody, I want you
to show me your cocaine.
209
00:08:12,330 --> 00:08:15,030
Who's carrying cocaine?
Hold it on up there.
210
00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:16,210
- I got some.
- Okay.
211
00:08:16,250 --> 00:08:17,220
- Let's see.
- Me, me, me, me!
212
00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:18,310
- Right here.
- All right.
213
00:08:18,330 --> 00:08:20,580
That appears to be only an eight ball.
214
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:22,000
So I'm gonna go with you two
215
00:08:22,030 --> 00:08:24,260
'cause I got a busy day tomorrow!
216
00:08:26,430 --> 00:08:27,510
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
217
00:08:27,540 --> 00:08:28,680
You could say what you will,
218
00:08:28,710 --> 00:08:30,710
but I am just so happy for you, bro.
219
00:08:30,730 --> 00:08:32,040
Oh, well, thank you, Raj.
220
00:08:32,060 --> 00:08:33,710
Could not have done it
without you calling
221
00:08:33,730 --> 00:08:35,910
all those road games.
No, you've been a lifesaver.
222
00:08:35,970 --> 00:08:37,700
Come on. Look, thank you.
223
00:08:37,740 --> 00:08:40,250
I just enjoyed joining your
brotherhood of the booth.
224
00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:41,310
And I must say,
225
00:08:41,330 --> 00:08:43,720
you're much less racist
than I thought you'd be.
226
00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:45,080
Well, my goodness.
227
00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:46,960
I wish I could take
more credit for that,
228
00:08:46,990 --> 00:08:49,580
but, uh, the bar set by old white men
229
00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:51,930
in this great country of ours
is just, oh, so very low.
230
00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:53,820
Yep. As soon as you raise it up
a little bit,
231
00:08:53,850 --> 00:08:55,920
someone knocks it back down, huh?
232
00:08:56,330 --> 00:08:58,030
- Man, you keep screwing up.
- We do.
233
00:08:58,060 --> 00:09:00,460
Listen, let's commemorate
this hand-off on the 'gram.
234
00:09:00,510 --> 00:09:02,270
- Get in here.
- Ah, the ubiquitous 'gram.
235
00:09:02,370 --> 00:09:03,780
- Mm-hmm.
- All right. Hey, whoa, whoa!
236
00:09:03,810 --> 00:09:05,210
What are you doing here, asshole?
237
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:06,300
- Whoa, whoa! Jim!
- What's that?
238
00:09:06,330 --> 00:09:08,510
Hey, look, I invited him, okay? Look...
239
00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:11,190
- You invited him?
- Yes. You're both my brohams,
240
00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:13,270
so I was hoping we could end this feud
241
00:09:13,290 --> 00:09:15,280
because you actually have
a lot in common, okay?
242
00:09:15,300 --> 00:09:17,370
You're both really stubborn superstars.
243
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,190
- I mean, you...
- Whoa, whoa. Superstar?
244
00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:20,230
Are you kidding me?
245
00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:22,760
Hey, I've known all the titans
of mascotry, okay?
246
00:09:22,790 --> 00:09:25,250
The Phillie Phanatic,
he officiated my wedding.
247
00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:26,580
You are not a superstar.
248
00:09:26,610 --> 00:09:28,570
You are a mime in Muppet's clothing.
249
00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:29,640
What... What's that?
250
00:09:29,660 --> 00:09:31,310
What is that?
I don't even understand that.
251
00:09:31,330 --> 00:09:32,630
I think he's flipping you off.
252
00:09:32,660 --> 00:09:35,350
You fuck your mother with
that claw, you stupid idiot?
253
00:09:35,390 --> 00:09:37,240
- Come on!
- Jim Brockmire?
254
00:09:37,290 --> 00:09:38,590
- Yeah.
- I'm Whitney Masterson.
255
00:09:38,610 --> 00:09:40,440
I'm the new head of PR for Atlanta.
256
00:09:40,540 --> 00:09:42,970
- Is... Is there a problem?
- No, no.
257
00:09:43,010 --> 00:09:45,480
I mean, I don't pretend to be
a crustacean for a living,
258
00:09:45,500 --> 00:09:47,520
so I'm very good, thank you.
259
00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:49,740
Raj, can you join us, as well, please?
260
00:09:50,710 --> 00:09:52,530
Yeah. Come on. More the merrier.
261
00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:55,220
Plan the old line of succession here.
262
00:09:55,350 --> 00:09:59,500
Hey, medium mascot talent! At best!
263
00:09:59,620 --> 00:10:00,750
Dummy!
264
00:10:00,810 --> 00:10:03,270
First of all, Jim, the organization
265
00:10:03,300 --> 00:10:04,720
wishes to thank you for doing
266
00:10:04,750 --> 00:10:06,930
all that it asked of you
over the last year.
267
00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:08,790
Well, please thank the organization
268
00:10:08,810 --> 00:10:11,040
for doing everything I asked of them.
[CHUCKLES]
269
00:10:11,140 --> 00:10:13,740
It was a little unusual,
only calling home games,
270
00:10:13,770 --> 00:10:16,960
and it was a bit of
a strange contract rider.
271
00:10:16,980 --> 00:10:18,080
I mean...
272
00:10:18,100 --> 00:10:21,710
"Jim Brockmire does not ride
the bus... exclamation point."
273
00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:23,960
Make sure they spell
'exclamation point'
274
00:10:23,990 --> 00:10:27,340
"because that's how much
I don't want to ride the bus."
275
00:10:27,470 --> 00:10:29,280
Yeah, you know, I used to say the bus
276
00:10:29,310 --> 00:10:31,370
is just like a concentration-camp train
277
00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:32,510
that made more stops,
278
00:10:32,540 --> 00:10:34,460
but, uh, well, I quickly discovered
279
00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:36,350
that people prefer
their Holocaust humor
280
00:10:36,370 --> 00:10:37,840
to come from Roberto Benigni
281
00:10:37,860 --> 00:10:40,060
and [CHUCKLES] pretty much nobody else.
282
00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:41,450
Okay.
283
00:10:41,470 --> 00:10:43,350
Before I was hired in PR,
284
00:10:43,370 --> 00:10:45,640
I interned in the analytics department,
285
00:10:45,670 --> 00:10:48,500
and I learned a very important lesson.
286
00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:50,490
Human perception...
287
00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:51,910
is a lie.
288
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:55,210
But math... math always
tells the truth.
289
00:10:55,350 --> 00:10:58,970
For example, we believed that
hiring an Internet celebrity
290
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,250
would bring in new fans,
291
00:11:00,290 --> 00:11:03,190
but the numbers told a different story.
292
00:11:03,540 --> 00:11:05,570
What is that... like, two pie charts?
293
00:11:05,590 --> 00:11:06,870
I don't understand what's happening.
294
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,700
It's a Venn diagram, Jim.
295
00:11:08,870 --> 00:11:10,090
Oh. Okay.
296
00:11:10,110 --> 00:11:11,660
According to focus groups,
297
00:11:11,680 --> 00:11:14,820
our fans hate your podcast,
298
00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:18,100
and your podcast fans hate baseball.
299
00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:19,560
- Interesting, right?
- Mm-hmm.
300
00:11:19,610 --> 00:11:22,490
So, next, we tested
that same group to find.
301
00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:24,960
Art Newly's likability...
302
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:27,000
92 out of 100.
303
00:11:27,130 --> 00:11:29,960
I mean, makes sense.
He's beloved by generations.
304
00:11:30,340 --> 00:11:34,370
Then, we tested, uh, Jim's likability.
305
00:11:35,230 --> 00:11:37,320
- 67.
- Ha!
306
00:11:37,380 --> 00:11:38,680
- Okay.
- Yeah!
307
00:11:38,700 --> 00:11:40,950
- Is that a good number?
- Great question.
308
00:11:41,060 --> 00:11:44,790
We needed context. We needed a control.
309
00:11:44,860 --> 00:11:46,480
So we tested Raj.
310
00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:47,880
And here's where it gets interesting.
311
00:11:47,900 --> 00:11:50,500
Raj is an 84.
312
00:11:50,580 --> 00:11:51,910
[CHUCKLES]
313
00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:53,860
Out of what, like 200?
314
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:55,350
Out of 100.
315
00:11:55,410 --> 00:11:58,350
200 would make your 67 look even worse.
316
00:11:58,370 --> 00:12:00,150
- You get how that works?
- Yes, no, thank you.
317
00:12:00,170 --> 00:12:01,500
I'm not a complete idiot.
318
00:12:01,610 --> 00:12:03,810
Look, anybody could
see that this kid's gonna be
319
00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:06,310
- a big star one day.
- Agreed.
320
00:12:06,380 --> 00:12:08,680
Which is why replacing Art Newly
321
00:12:08,710 --> 00:12:12,610
will now be a two-man
competition between you and Raj.
322
00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:14,210
This kid's a hack! Are you kidding me?
323
00:12:14,230 --> 00:12:17,830
I've known sperm on a crusty
sock with more life experience.
324
00:12:17,970 --> 00:12:19,300
I'm sorry, Jim.
325
00:12:19,330 --> 00:12:21,690
The decision's been made...
Far above my head.
326
00:12:21,770 --> 00:12:25,030
With insistent and
unwavering support from me.
327
00:12:25,090 --> 00:12:28,020
I think I speak for Raj when
I say that neither one of us
328
00:12:28,050 --> 00:12:29,420
wants any part of this thing.
329
00:12:29,450 --> 00:12:32,470
No. No, I'm in... 100%.
330
00:12:32,610 --> 00:12:34,870
Et tu, broham?
331
00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:40,060
Look. You've been like a mentor to me.
332
00:12:40,220 --> 00:12:42,220
Uh-huh. We both know it.
So there's no way
333
00:12:42,250 --> 00:12:43,800
I'm gonna let them pit us
against each other.
334
00:12:43,820 --> 00:12:46,290
Ah. Excellent.
Y-Y-You gonna bow out, then?
335
00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:48,420
No, I just think we should try
our best and see what happens.
336
00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:50,160
Hey, "F" that, all right? "F" that.
337
00:12:50,180 --> 00:12:52,540
Look, I know this has been a dream of
both of ours for a very long time.
338
00:12:52,570 --> 00:12:54,950
A dream. That's really funny.
No, not really.
339
00:12:54,970 --> 00:12:57,040
I just did, like, improv
for a little while,
340
00:12:57,150 --> 00:12:58,760
and then I took a broadcasting class.
341
00:12:58,780 --> 00:13:00,130
I didn't even really finish it.
342
00:13:00,150 --> 00:13:02,290
I really wanted to call
G-League basketball,
343
00:13:02,310 --> 00:13:03,870
but that's, like, a hard gig to get.
344
00:13:03,890 --> 00:13:06,220
Then Jesus Christ, man, let me have it.
345
00:13:06,260 --> 00:13:07,860
Why can't we both just try to earn it?
346
00:13:07,900 --> 00:13:09,900
'Cause I might not win it
that way, Raj.
347
00:13:09,950 --> 00:13:12,360
Do you know how many
diverse play-by-play men
348
00:13:12,390 --> 00:13:13,860
there are in baseball?
349
00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:18,100
It's not a rhetorical question.
I literally have no idea.
350
00:13:18,180 --> 00:13:21,160
I'm not a baseball fan. I just want
to know if I should hire a publicist.
351
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:22,930
Okay, have it your way, but you and I,
352
00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:24,610
we are sworn enemies now, I mean it.
353
00:13:24,630 --> 00:13:27,190
You never know where or how
or when I am gonna strike next,
354
00:13:27,220 --> 00:13:28,480
but let me put it to you this way.
355
00:13:28,510 --> 00:13:30,660
Bob Costas did not expect
to get pink eye
356
00:13:30,690 --> 00:13:31,860
at the Sochi Olympics either,
357
00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:34,020
but I sure as shit made that happen.
358
00:13:34,090 --> 00:13:37,230
Okay, okay, you're...
You're mad at me now.
359
00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:41,630
But I will win you back
because everyone loves me.
360
00:13:41,730 --> 00:13:43,060
It's a rare gift.
361
00:13:43,130 --> 00:13:46,540
Only Sandy Bullock,
Alex Trebek, and I have it.
362
00:13:46,570 --> 00:13:49,530
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen,
Fan Fest is about to begin.
363
00:13:49,790 --> 00:13:51,810
I freakin' love you.
364
00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:54,760
Have fun out there, okay?
I'll send some your way.
365
00:13:54,780 --> 00:13:55,960
The gates are open.
366
00:13:55,980 --> 00:13:59,530
Head down to the field to meet
your favorite Crawdaddy.
367
00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:07,250
There you are, fan. Enjoy the Fan Fest.
368
00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:09,560
Are you wearing sunblock?
Fan Fest is three hour...
369
00:14:09,610 --> 00:14:12,210
You [BLEEP] Charles. You screwed
me right in the asshole.
370
00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:13,910
- What?
- You tricked me into thinking
371
00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:16,140
this podcast thingy
would get me the Atlanta job,
372
00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:17,160
but it didn't do dick.
373
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:18,850
Quite the opposite. God damn it.
374
00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:21,440
I should just... I should quit
that stupid podcast.
375
00:14:21,510 --> 00:14:22,900
If you're gonna quit
anything, it should be this.
376
00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:24,380
- What?
- You're doing
377
00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:26,920
radio broadcast of a Minor
League Baseball game
378
00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:28,950
to, what, 20,000 people?
379
00:14:29,210 --> 00:14:31,810
"Brock Bottom" gets half
a million downloads an episode.
380
00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:33,840
Hey, give us a second here,
friend, all right?
381
00:14:33,860 --> 00:14:35,860
We're in the middle of something, okay?
382
00:14:36,290 --> 00:14:37,870
We're making good money
from the live shows,
383
00:14:37,890 --> 00:14:39,230
but the real money is in touring.
384
00:14:39,250 --> 00:14:42,520
If you quit this, we can sell
out theaters across the country,
385
00:14:42,550 --> 00:14:44,890
maybe even leapfrog over "Fresh Air"
386
00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:46,520
for the number-two spot.
387
00:14:46,590 --> 00:14:47,990
Well, as much as that Terry Gross
388
00:14:48,010 --> 00:14:49,480
needs to taken down a peg or two,
389
00:14:49,530 --> 00:14:51,130
I am a baseball man, Charles.
390
00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:52,920
I mean, the podcast is nice
and everything,
391
00:14:52,940 --> 00:14:54,290
but, uh, it ain't the major leagues.
392
00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:57,510
Ah! Yeah! [SPEAKING CREOLE]
393
00:14:58,640 --> 00:14:59,970
Is he speaking Creole?
394
00:15:00,070 --> 00:15:02,810
Bam! Oh, oh. Bam!
395
00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:04,470
God, there's so many of you.
396
00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:06,340
I am really screwed.
397
00:15:10,460 --> 00:15:13,190
Oh, there he is. What's he doing now?
398
00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:16,070
Oh. Is that supposed to be me?
399
00:15:16,170 --> 00:15:19,860
Oh, I get it.
I'm so drunk I can hardly walk.
400
00:15:19,890 --> 00:15:22,230
That... That's just hilarious.
401
00:15:22,310 --> 00:15:23,380
You know what, though?
402
00:15:23,460 --> 00:15:25,000
You're not quite selling it, though.
403
00:15:25,020 --> 00:15:26,470
Can I give you a quick pointer?
404
00:15:27,350 --> 00:15:28,350
[GRUNTS]
405
00:15:28,590 --> 00:15:31,730
[BAT CLANKS]
406
00:15:36,010 --> 00:15:37,780
Shouldn't you be
more discreet about that?
407
00:15:37,860 --> 00:15:39,460
I am being discreet.
408
00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:42,440
Not pouring anything out of this, am I?
409
00:15:42,860 --> 00:15:46,710
So, what was that big idea
to beat Raj you texted me about?
410
00:15:46,740 --> 00:15:48,230
I spent all last night looking up
411
00:15:48,260 --> 00:15:50,240
things people like on the Internet.
412
00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:52,420
Came up with a lot of videos
of autistic kids
413
00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:55,010
sinking 3-point baskets,
but, uh, apparently,
414
00:15:55,050 --> 00:15:57,200
they're very hard
to find on short notice.
415
00:15:57,260 --> 00:15:59,860
And that dog who can't catch
pizza... You know that guy?
416
00:15:59,890 --> 00:16:01,810
He is booked solid for an entire year.
417
00:16:01,830 --> 00:16:05,230
And then it hit me, Charles...
Make-A-Wish cancer kids.
418
00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:06,910
- Oh, Jesus Christ. No.
- Yes.
419
00:16:06,930 --> 00:16:09,220
Unfortunately, when I called
the Make-A-Wish Foundation,
420
00:16:09,250 --> 00:16:12,310
they informed me that no child
had ever requested a visit
421
00:16:12,340 --> 00:16:14,090
to a Minor League
Baseball broadcast booth.
422
00:16:14,130 --> 00:16:15,530
That is so weird!
423
00:16:15,580 --> 00:16:18,710
So I took the liberty of calling
around to local cancer wards
424
00:16:18,740 --> 00:16:21,470
till I came upon the parents
of 8-year-old Dylan Cole,
425
00:16:21,500 --> 00:16:23,530
and I convinced them to let him join me
426
00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:24,830
in the booth this afternoon.
427
00:16:24,860 --> 00:16:26,660
What exactly is wrong with Dylan?
428
00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:29,010
I don't know. Must be really bad
because his doctors,
429
00:16:29,060 --> 00:16:31,520
they did not want him
to leave the hospital.
430
00:16:32,070 --> 00:16:34,290
- I won't be a part of this.
- No, agreed. You know why?
431
00:16:34,340 --> 00:16:35,760
Apparently, he has a lot of equipment
432
00:16:35,780 --> 00:16:37,120
he needs to help him breathe,
433
00:16:37,170 --> 00:16:39,130
so there's gonna be no room
for you there in the booth.
434
00:16:39,150 --> 00:16:41,340
Your job is gonna be
to do focus testing.
435
00:16:41,380 --> 00:16:42,890
That means you hang
around here in the stadium
436
00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:45,120
and you gauge how great
this is playing.
437
00:16:45,140 --> 00:16:47,150
Take some videos
so we can show Whitney later.
438
00:16:47,170 --> 00:16:50,380
Oh, man. This is gonna be
so freakin' uplifting!
439
00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:52,300
Everybody's panties are gonna be wet...
440
00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:53,950
Wet from tears!
441
00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:55,790
[SLURPS]
442
00:16:56,010 --> 00:16:58,350
Wet from tears, Charles!
443
00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:00,240
- MAN: Jim Brockmire?
- Yeah?
444
00:17:00,340 --> 00:17:02,420
We'd like you to meet
the bravest kid in the world...
445
00:17:02,450 --> 00:17:04,050
Our son, Dylan.
446
00:17:04,220 --> 00:17:07,550
Hey. Hi. Oh, hi. That's so many tubes.
447
00:17:07,940 --> 00:17:10,030
H-Hi, Dylan.
448
00:17:10,410 --> 00:17:13,080
Short pop fly to center
for out number three.
449
00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:14,660
Crawdaddys coming up to bat now,
450
00:17:14,690 --> 00:17:16,560
and to help me call
the bottom of the 4th
451
00:17:16,580 --> 00:17:20,090
is tiny hero and cancer
survivor, Mr. Dylan Cole.
452
00:17:20,110 --> 00:17:21,710
- He's eight years old.
- Aww!
453
00:17:21,780 --> 00:17:24,510
Uh, Dylan, who's your
favorite ballplayer, son?
454
00:17:24,700 --> 00:17:27,540
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
455
00:17:27,870 --> 00:17:29,210
Hmm?
456
00:17:30,770 --> 00:17:32,660
Okay, how 'bout I, uh...
I'm gonna move the mic
457
00:17:32,690 --> 00:17:36,180
a little bit closer for you,
and that should make it easier.
458
00:17:36,230 --> 00:17:37,630
Go ahead.
459
00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:41,410
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
460
00:17:42,590 --> 00:17:44,810
You know what? I-I-If it's
too difficult for you,
461
00:17:44,830 --> 00:17:46,410
I-I... maybe you shouldn't answer.
462
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,060
No, I don't want you
to waste the energy, son.
463
00:17:48,090 --> 00:17:49,210
It's all right.
I don't want you to answer.
464
00:17:49,230 --> 00:17:50,830
It's all right. Never mind.
Let go of the mic.
465
00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:52,020
Is he gonna hurt himself?
466
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:53,790
O-Okay. All right. Go ahead.
467
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:57,570
DYLAN: Buster... Posey.
468
00:17:58,060 --> 00:18:00,860
Wasn't worth it.
Uh, not by a long shot.
469
00:18:00,990 --> 00:18:02,260
Okay.
470
00:18:02,370 --> 00:18:08,570
♪♪
471
00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:11,080
[CRYING]
472
00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:14,640
♪♪
473
00:18:15,910 --> 00:18:17,840
Top of the 5th, folks.
474
00:18:17,890 --> 00:18:20,490
Dylan is gone.
475
00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:25,480
His parents wheeled him on out of here.
476
00:18:25,590 --> 00:18:27,310
- Oh.
- Um...
477
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:29,770
See, I invited young Dylan
into the booth
478
00:18:29,790 --> 00:18:31,800
because I thought it might
be inspiring for people.
479
00:18:31,830 --> 00:18:34,710
I mean, who is not inspired
by the courageous tale
480
00:18:34,730 --> 00:18:36,930
of a young man battling cancer...
481
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:39,360
As a curveball drops
in there for a strike.
482
00:18:39,380 --> 00:18:41,150
0-1.
483
00:18:41,410 --> 00:18:44,280
See, the thing is, though,
I guess I wonder why
484
00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:48,050
because I was not uplifted
by Dylan's burden.
485
00:18:48,070 --> 00:18:50,500
If anything, it just
turned over the rock
486
00:18:50,530 --> 00:18:53,380
under which I keep buried the
knowledge of my own mortality...
487
00:18:53,410 --> 00:18:56,220
As Sanchez looks
at one high and away. 1-1.
488
00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:58,960
I mean, maybe we like kids with
cancer so much...
489
00:18:58,990 --> 00:19:00,400
- No, no, no...
- because they're the only time
490
00:19:00,430 --> 00:19:02,990
that human beings are actually
all united in empathy.
491
00:19:03,010 --> 00:19:06,810
But, uh, if it takes the torment
of those most vulnerable
492
00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:08,570
among us to bring us all together,
493
00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:10,810
then, well, what does
that say about humanity...
494
00:19:10,830 --> 00:19:14,140
As Sanchez pulls that one foul, 1-2.
495
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:18,240
Is it because these kids all know
496
00:19:18,270 --> 00:19:19,740
that they're headed to a better place?
497
00:19:19,770 --> 00:19:22,140
Well, they're all raised on fairy tales
498
00:19:22,180 --> 00:19:23,780
and Santa Claus, aren't they?
499
00:19:23,810 --> 00:19:25,670
I mean, their certainty in heaven
500
00:19:25,700 --> 00:19:27,830
should offer us no consolation...
501
00:19:27,860 --> 00:19:30,030
As Sanchez steps out of the box.
502
00:19:30,060 --> 00:19:31,320
Out of the way!
503
00:19:31,490 --> 00:19:35,960
No, see, I suspect the true
reason is much darker.
504
00:19:38,470 --> 00:19:40,200
I suspect that, at a base level,
505
00:19:40,270 --> 00:19:42,600
one that none of us wants to admit,
506
00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:46,810
we love kids with cancer because
their imminent deaths remind us
507
00:19:46,830 --> 00:19:49,300
that we are still alive, people.
508
00:19:49,350 --> 00:19:51,880
They are the ones
being punished, not us...
509
00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:55,290
As Sanchez strikes out
for the fourth time today.
510
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:56,930
Shit.
511
00:19:57,440 --> 00:19:59,840
That was way worse than
I thought it was gonna be.
512
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:02,530
CHARLES: It was
only a one-game suspension.
513
00:20:02,550 --> 00:20:04,870
It could've been way worse, right?
514
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:08,770
Hey, Jim?
515
00:20:08,790 --> 00:20:09,920
Yeah?
516
00:20:09,990 --> 00:20:11,650
Why are we here?
517
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:13,580
Charles, sometimes you
just have to cut out
518
00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:16,680
those annoying middlemen
called fun and conversation...
519
00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:19,450
and get straight to the booze.
520
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:22,480
♪♪
521
00:20:22,770 --> 00:20:25,120
I just watched a man pull out
his own loose tooth.
522
00:20:25,270 --> 00:20:26,600
I hate it here.
523
00:20:26,730 --> 00:20:28,400
I didn't get carded when I came in,
524
00:20:28,460 --> 00:20:30,800
and I'm not even
the youngest person here.
525
00:20:30,850 --> 00:20:33,270
Oh, Lil Pete's all right.
526
00:20:34,380 --> 00:20:36,710
No, don't... don't make
eye contact with him.
527
00:20:36,740 --> 00:20:38,880
That third trip to juvie,
that changed him.
528
00:20:39,270 --> 00:20:42,250
What are you having, hmm? I'm buying.
529
00:20:42,950 --> 00:20:45,490
Yeah, um, I can't be your producer,
530
00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:47,690
your roommate, your best friend,
531
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:50,120
housekeeper, and drinking buddy.
532
00:20:50,710 --> 00:20:52,710
I know you said I can't say
their name anymore,
533
00:20:52,740 --> 00:20:55,520
but I only know one person who
can match you drink for drink.
534
00:20:55,630 --> 00:20:56,690
If you want some company,
535
00:20:56,730 --> 00:20:59,130
I recommend making
a call to Morristown.
536
00:20:59,570 --> 00:21:00,780
[SIGHS]
537
00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:02,310
Yeah, you're right.
538
00:21:02,350 --> 00:21:03,580
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
539
00:21:03,660 --> 00:21:04,990
Ha ha!
540
00:21:05,060 --> 00:21:07,920
[LAUGHS]
541
00:21:08,110 --> 00:21:09,350
Whoo!
542
00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:11,530
You know this is not
who I was talking about.
543
00:21:11,550 --> 00:21:13,630
There he is. Brockmire.
544
00:21:13,670 --> 00:21:16,210
Oh, man!
545
00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:18,040
I brought you a present.
546
00:21:18,130 --> 00:21:21,370
Oh. What are those, mints?
547
00:21:21,410 --> 00:21:23,010
Horse tranquilizer.
548
00:21:23,110 --> 00:21:25,370
Ah, you see? I missed you.
549
00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:26,690
Come here. Mwah!
550
00:21:26,710 --> 00:21:28,980
synced & corrected by PopcornAWH
www.addic7ed.com
551
00:21:33,090 --> 00:21:34,460
You're more likable when you're drunk.
552
00:21:34,490 --> 00:21:37,450
Those are the words that every
alcoholic longs to be true.
553
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:40,370
This is New Orleans.
554
00:21:40,390 --> 00:21:42,090
Every carnal pleasure
was invented right here.
555
00:21:42,490 --> 00:21:43,760
You're a brown Joe Buck.
556
00:21:43,980 --> 00:21:46,870
Ha ha. No. Joe Buck is a white me.
557
00:21:46,930 --> 00:21:48,700
This literally could not get any worse.
558
00:21:48,830 --> 00:21:51,200
Lucy? Okay, it just got
significantly worse.
559
00:21:51,360 --> 00:21:52,860
♪♪
560
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:55,760
This comeback might be over
before it's begun.
561
00:21:55,810 --> 00:21:58,810
Ho. We are definitely not
on the same page
562
00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:00,300
about how to spend this evening.
563
00:22:00,370 --> 00:22:03,270
"Brockmire."
Wednesdays at 10:00 on IFC.
40041
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof