All language subtitles for 2x08 I Do, I Do.eng

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- You got the ring?
- Of course I've got the ring.

Hey, good luck.

- Thank you.
- Let's go.

Chief Justice, may I present...

despite his outward appearance,
the happy groom?

I've known Christian Harrison...

since he was the embassy brat
at the Court of Saint James's.

Who would have thought then...

that I would have to ask his permission
to enter the Oval Office?

- Steve, are you sure-
- I've got the ring.

- I've already asked that, haven't I?
- Just six or eight times.

All right.

My friends, we are gathered here today...

to join this couple
in the blessed bonds of matrimony.

The marriage ceremony has long been
one of my favorite functions.

I officiate at this one today
with great pleasure.

Done?

The homing device will start to transmit
as soon as they start the car.

And we shall be there right behind them.

- Who gives this woman in marriage?
- I do.

And what is the token of their love?

Place the ring on the third finger
of her left hand, please.

Do you, Christian Harrison,
take this woman...

to be your lawfully wedded wife...

in sickness and in health,
for richer or poorer...

- as long as you both shall live?
- I do.

And do you, Diana Prince,
take this man, Christian Harrison...

to be your lawfully wedded husband...

in sickness and in health,
for richer or poorer...

- as long as you both shall live?
- I do.

Then with the powers vested in me,
I pronounce you man and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

- Fill it up and check it out.
- Yes, sir.

Take this guy on a snipe hunt.
I'll see what I can find.

Got you.

You got a road map we could look at?
I think my friend here took a wrong turn.

- Where you headed?
- Scottsdale.

You're on the right road.
Come on, I'll show you.

- I think I'll have a cheeseburger.
- They are very good.

Thank you.

I've changed my mind.

From "I do" to "I don't"?

No. From a cheeseburger
to a chocolate soda.

Cheeseburgers can stand rejection
better than I.

What are you going to have?

How is your cheeseburger?

Very strange.

Chris, I'd like to freshen up a little bit.

Don't be too long. We want to get
to the Hacienda before dark.

Right.

Shopping for a honeymoon neglig�e?

What are you after?

Johnny!

You okay?

- Thank you, Wonder Woman.
- You're welcome.

"Thank you, Wonder Woman"?

- Don't you have a bride somewhere?
- Yes, but-

- Shouldn't you be looking after her?
- Yes. Certainly.

This is no way to spend your honeymoon.

- No.
- No.

I couldn't agree more.

All right. Who's going to pay for all of this?

I've got a boss who'll be pretty mad
when he gets back.

And I have a credit card.

How am I supposed to write this up?

You've got me, pal. If you'd just...

Diana.

Chris, what happened to you?

- Listen, you're not going to believe this.
- Try me.

- There was this girl.
- On my honeymoon?

It's not like that. Honest.

Diana, did you pack a bathing suit?

I think this health spa
you've chosen for our honeymoon...

is gonna do you a lot of good.
Yes, I packed a bathing suit.

This girl was wearing a bathing suit
that looked like...

Let me put it to you this way:

I have seen Wonder Woman.

Wonder Woman?

Miss, could I have
another American flag...

Cheeseburger, please.

- Are you going to be all right?
- To tell the truth, I'm not really sure.

You better get ready
to get back to Switzerland.

- How much is there?
- With the laundered pesos...

I guess we've got $200,000.

Not bad.

I want you to leave in a couple of days.

I'll give you the bank account number
for deposit.

Yes. Thank you.

Do me a favor, would you?
Send Johnny and Smitty in.

I will, Mr. Allen.

Boss wants to see you.

- Let me explain, Mr. Allen-
- I'm not interested in any excuses.

The fact remains that you can provide
no additional information than...

I gave you when I asked you to follow
those people and search their belongings.

Come on.
I mean, there was this really weird girl.

- She was incredibly strong. I've never-
- Don't you read the papers?

I read the papers.

The girl he described is Wonder Woman.
You understand?

She frequently helps the IADC.

And Christian Harrison has just married
one of that agency's top operatives.

What I'm going to do...

is use that love play
as an intelligence ploy.

We have a reservation.
Mr. and Mrs. Christian Harrison.

Yes. Mr. and Mrs. Harrison.
The Honeymoon Suite is ready for you.

Thank you.

May I offer the Hacienda's wishes
for a pleasant stay with us...

as well as a long and happy marriage?

- Of course you may.
- That's very sweet. Thank you very much.

Suite 100.

Shall we?

This is pretty.

Great.

Thank you.

I wonder if all brides feel
as uncomfortable as I do...

when all of a sudden
they find themselves alone...

with this very strange person
that they have married?

That's why I took the last three
to an amusement park.

When I got embarrassed,
I could always go on the merry-go-round.

"Always. "

A sentiment devoutly to be wished.

Wine?

Someone's at the door.

- Saved by the knock.
- This time.

Sam.

- Hello, Chris.
- Sam Tucker. Come on in.

May I present my bride, Diana Harrison?

- How do you do?
- Nice to meet you, sir.

When did you get married?

We just went through
a very well-publicized wedding ceremony.

Don't you read the papers?

I'm afraid we missed the publicity
out here on the frontier.

Some frontier.
I should be honest with you.

Hold on. Let me go turn on the radio.

Okay. I think it is safe to talk now.

We're not really married.

This is Diana Prince of the IADC.

And this is all part of a plan.

And you set this up
because of what I told Joe Atkinson?

Exactly.

And you've surrounded this place
and you'll arrest all the employees?

That's not the way
it's going to come down.

Perhaps you'd better listen
to the little woman.

I really think we ought to start...

with some details
that Sam has told Joe Atkinson.

Sam?

Of course, I made several phone calls.

The first was when I opened negotiations
for a South American trade agreement.

- Coffee time.
- That's right.

The lobbyists knew more about
what our posture would be than I did.

The IADC started checking
into possible leaks right then.

And we came up empty.

The next call was made after the debacle
with the Middle Eastern oil cartel.

Their entire delegation walked
after I made my opening speech.

That's when I put out the directive
on loose talk at cocktail parties.

Then Dolly and I had an intimate supper
with the Canal countries...

in which we reached
what was considered...

an unofficial solution,
a blueprint for a forthcoming agreement.

The next morning I couldn't get anyone
to answer a phone call.

I'm sorry, Sam, we had no idea
this would trace back to your wife.

Dolly was simply one
of many important wives...

who are currently leaking
vital trade information.

We figured that the wife of someone
with an important White House position...

would be a prime target.
So we got married.

We're dealing
with a very clever fellow here.

He's been bleeding information out of his
important female guests for some time.

Selling it to the highest bidder
and acquiring a tidy fortune in the process.

But who?

Who is he? Who's behind this?

It's David Allen, sir.

All of our leads end up right here
at the Hacienda.

- Dolly is here with you?
- She insisted I come.

She said she wanted
to put our marriage together.

I didn't even know it had fallen apart.

Maybe we can help both of you.
Will I have any trouble finding her?

I hope you won't have
as much difficulty as I do.

She seems to takes more massages
than Muhammad Ali.

David, how good of you to come.

You recognized my touch?

Of course. After all, how many years
have I been coming here?

I don't know for sure, but it seems
like forever since your last visit.

You are tense.

Don't tell me you're letting all
those Washington pressures get to you?

No more than usual.

- Sam is here, you know.
- I read about that.

Guess you've been entertaining a lot?

You know I'm the hostess for the A list.
Of course I've been entertaining.

- Feel good?
- Wonderful.

There we are.

Why don't you just... relax?

I had no idea that out here
in peaceful Scottsdale...

someone was just waiting for me
to get married.

It hadn't even occurred to me
until I met you.

Let's not get carried away, Chris.

They know that you have
the President's ear.

And chances are they know
how I make a living, too.

This is not what they call a shoo-in.

So how do we cross the wire?

I don't know about you, but I'm going
to start with a swim. Join me?

No, I'm beat from the drive.
You go ahead. Do you mind?

- No, as long as you watch me.
- How could I not?

Now, Dolly darling, I want you to tell me...

everything about that party
you gave for those pipeline people.

"Another cocktail, Mr. Secretary?"

"No, thank you, Dolly darling.

"I have to keep a clear head
for this evening. "

"I am so sorry, Olin.
I made them especially for you.

"Come on, you've still got a few minutes. "

"Thank you, Dolly.
You've twisted my arm. "

If you don't mind, Dolly darling,
we'll just lose those few minutes.

You should be serving
your port and cigars by now.

May I hear it, please?

"We need much more money...

"to finish the pipeline.

"Of course, if the unions find out
the hole we're in...

"the costs are going to be astronomical.

"Thank you, Dolly darling.

"These aren't from Cuba, are they?"

Thank you, Dolly Blabbermouth.

I'm sorry, David.
Forgive me, I must have dropped off.

I didn't talk in my sleep, did I?

No, of course not.

And if you did,
I certainly would not repeat it.

Of course you wouldn't.

Imagine the position you'd be in
if you could repeat...

all the things that the Washington wives
pick up just by osmosis?

Well, Dolly, I don't listen.

No, of course you don't.

Hi, I'm Denny Lake.

I'm Chris Harrison. My wife, Diana.

How do you do?

As the tennis pro here,
I'm supposed to encourage the guests.

- Do you play?
- No, I've never had the time.

I play a little.

I'm not exactly a Tracy or a Chrissy,
but I try.

All right. Take this racket.
Maybe we can make one out of you.

- Okay.
- All right with you, Mr. Harrison?

Why not?

I'd like to go take a nap.
Maybe a round of golf or something.

- Okay.
- Bye, darling.

Hey, Johnny.

Johnny, this is Mrs. Harrison.
Mrs. Harrison, Johnny.

Would you take Mrs. Harrison out and
give her some pointers on center court?

Sure. Come with me.

Lean into the ball.
Keep your right arm straight.

Remember shoulder rotation.

Keep your weight forward.
Shoulder rotation.

That's it, keep on top of the ball.

Keep your right arm straight.
Lean forward. That's it.

Put your weight behind you. That's it.

Nice try.

That was fun. Thank you.

- Listen, you could really be good.
- Right.

Anytime you want to practice,
just come on by.

You can use the ball machine.
It will really keep you in shape.

Thank you very much again. Johnny.

- Mrs. Harrison?
- Yes.

I think you better take a steam.
You're gonna be sore.

You're right there. I could sure use one.
My arm's a little sore.

It's right up there.

Okay. Thanks again.

Her husband went on to their suite,
and we played for a while.

She's not bad.

I'm not interested
in her tennis prowess, you idiot.

- Where is she right now?
- Taking a steam, I guess.

She's married
to the President's right arm...

and you guess
that she's taking a steam bath?

Why am I surrounded
by such incompetence?

Hello, this is David. Yes.

Could you please see that Mrs. Harrison
gets the Hacienda special steam?

Tell me, David. Exactly how long
have I been coming here?

Why, Dolly, you know as well as I...

that you were among
the first patrons of the Hacienda.

Were it not for you...

- Please, David, spare me that.
- But it's true, Dolly.

You know as well as I...

that everyone who is anyone knows...

that Dolly Tucker is the one
who decides what is in.

Where to dine. What to wear.
Where to go, to shop.

You are a trendsetter, lady. Let's face it.

Without you I'd be running a desert.

All of this would be nothing but a mirage.

David, you are running a mirage.

But of course.

This mirage,
thanks to you, has become real.

These ladies, do you know
that many of them who visit us...

come because of you?

Oh, yeah, it certainly benefits them.

They're trimmer, more vivacious,
better hostesses.

And I've even been told
they are better wives.

Better listeners?

Yes, I suppose.

Take you for instance, look at you.

I'll bet you anything
that very soon in the market...

- there's gonna be a Dolly Tucker doll.
- There already is one.

Every wife of every important
Washington official here...

is a doll.

We walk.

We talk. We entertain. We serve.

We listen. Mostly we listen.

But when we talk...

it is to the wonderfully
receptive David Allen.

Dolly darling.

Don't you "Dolly darling" me.
You have made human tape recorders...

of every important wife here.

Every single one
who's had one of your massages.

If I hadn't fallen from a horse last week,
I would never have known it.

- Last week?
- Early last week.

About the time I gave you the information
about the coffee cartel.

- Dolly, please-
- Don't interrupt me.

- Listen I-
- It's very rude.

After my accident,
I went to a chiropractor.

He realigned the nerves in my spine.

After that, when you touched my button,
it had no effect.

So the information I gave you
this afternoon...

was as phony as David Allen.

- Well, that's very interesting, Dolly.
- I thought so, too, David.

You've been making traitors of us all
for some time.

The only way I could feign
that recorded bit...

was because you had me doing it
for so long.

Well, Dolly...

I suppose our relationship has ended,
wouldn't you say?

Unless, of course,
there's something you want...

for the information you now possess.

You know something?

Ever since I can remember,
I've hated horses.

All right, Dolly.

What do you want?

I want my husband back.

I'm tired of the merry-go-round.

I'm willing to take a chance on
Sam being discredited in the government.

I want him to resign...

and I want no opposition
to his resignation.

I just want to go home to New Jersey
and raise our kids.

I'm sick...

of the Washington rat race
on Embassy Row.

You know something, Dolly?
You are a very foolish lady.

- Why?
- Yes.

Why didn't you simply feed me
anything you wanted?

I had no idea at all...

that you were no longer under my spell,
as it were.

Because I want you
to cease and desist. Forever.

Excuse me.

Yes, David Allen here.

Mr. Allen, it seems Mrs. Harrison
will be coming to any minute.

Excellent. I'll be right over.

Listen, we could take care
of her right now.

No, you fool!

Well, Dolly.

It's obvious you've given a great deal
of thought to this matter.

I have.

I hope that you extend
the same privilege to me.

Let me get this straight:
You merely want to discredit Sam?

You mean for the children's sake?

- Not disgraced.
- No, of course not.

All right.

We can talk again?

- Yes. But soon.
- Of course.

You know, Dolly...

if only you would let me work this out...

my way...

we both can get what we want.

You know, I'm probably as fond
of the Hacienda as you are of Sam.

I love my husband a great deal.

But I want him home.

Have you told this to anyone?

No, David.
This is just between you and me.

You are one gracious lady.

Hello? Yeah, this is David Allen.

Listen, Mrs. Tucker should be
arriving there any minute...

for her usual morning ride.

I want you to make sure
that she mounts Satan.

You heard me.
I'll be at the massage parlor.

Satan. You be a good boy.

Lovely Mrs. Tucker
is going to give you some exercise.

Just let me fix your saddle.

Mrs. Harrison?

Are you awake, Mrs. Harrison?

I hope you had a nice nap, Mrs. Harrison.

Who are you? Where am I?

Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you.

I'm your very concerned host.
My name is David Allen...

and you are safely
in one of our massage parlors.

The last I remember, I was taking a sauna.

I'm afraid it's not a unique experience,
Mrs. Harrison.

See what happened was...

you played tennis strenuously,
took a sauna...

and merely passed out from the exertion.

- I'm sorry.
- You'll be all right in a few minutes.

I'm so sleepy, I...

- My husband.
- Please, it's all right.

As a matter of fact,
your husband isn't aware of this incident.

You know, he's actually playing golf
with Mr. Tucker at this very moment.

So why don't you just lie back?

- Sorry, I'm just so sleepy.
- It's okay.

- I can't seem to keep my eyes open.
- There you go.

Just take it easy.

I'll make you feel like a million in a jiffy.

Just take the regular bridle path.

- Have a nice ride.
- I'm sure I will.

Is this a new horse? What's his name?

Angel.

What is your name? Your real name.

Diana Prince.

And, of course,
you are not married, are you?

Oh, but I am.

Diana Prince is my maiden name.
My married name is...

Mrs. Christian Harrison.

Mrs. Harrison, what is your job?

I am an agent with the IADC.

Exactly what is your assignment?

My assignment?

It's written in the marriage contract.

What?

- "To love and to honor... "
- No, I mean what are you doing here?

I'm on my honeymoon.

For no other purpose?

Go ahead.

- I want to...
- Yes?

...brush up on my tennis.

Just rest, Diana.

You'll awake in a few moments...

and you'll remember absolutely nothing.

I've got a very busy day
planned for you two.

Mrs. Tucker has caused me to take...

drastic plans against Mr. Tucker.

What about Harrison?

I have a hunch that Harrison
will be a little hot to handle as well.

Why don't you let us
get out to the golf course?

Good, but first let me tell you
about the arrangements...

for Dolly Tucker's canter.

I've had this horse trained
to buck and rear upon signal...

and will continue to do so
unless otherwise signaled.

In other words, it seems highly unlikely...

even an experienced rider will escape.

I guess what I'm talking about is that...

Dolly Tucker will attend
her very own going-away party.

Mrs. Harrison, you're leaving so soon.

Take my word for it, sunbathing will
make a new woman out of you.

I really should be joining my husband-

But tennis is your game, love.

Mr. Harrison is on the golf course.
Why don't you rest a tiny moment?

Please?

I hope you don't play that way
at Camp David.

They may not invite you back.

Considering the new lady in my life...

I think I'd like to take a few weekends
off golf to pursue Diana.

They should play through rather quickly
when I press this.

Anybody ever clocked that golf cart?

Once it gets moving,
we could enter it in a stock-car race.

That's the finish line over there.

"Finish" is the exact word.

Well, anyway, as I was saying...

Well, how did you enjoy your golf game?

I've been in the rough before,
but this is crazy.

Mr. Tucker, where does
your wife usually ride?

She usually rides over at the bridle path.

Is Dolly in danger?

Don't worry, I'll handle it.

Chris, call Joe Atkinson and have him
order some men to close in on this place.

Where's Diana?

Right now she should be
in the swim of things.

Y'all make sure you show up
at the tennis tournament this afternoon.

See you later, babe.

There is no need
to be frightened anymore, Mrs. Tucker.

I've been riding horses all my life,
I love horses.

But you are not going to get me
onboard that one again.

Don't be silly. This is not a mean horse.

Look.

An evil man planned to kill you with that.

Yes.

I found out about him. I know who it is.

I know who he is, too.

Take it nice and easy.

Planning a trip, Mr. Allen?

Well, Wonder Woman.

Your pictures don't do you justice.

I can do without your flattery.

Stop right there...

otherwise I might go "boom"
and this man's gonna get hurt.

And ultimately, I suppose,
your government.

So just get out of my way, all right?

I thought you were on your honeymoon.

I've heard of the rocky road to love,
but this is ridiculous.

I'd say you were a born bachelor.

I called the kids today.
They'll meet us at the plane.

That'll be great.

Incidentally, I made a call today, too.

- Did you?
- Yeah.

My secretary will be cleaning out my desk.

I dictated a letter of resignation.

- Accepted?
- Reluctantly.

Of course. Who'd want to lose you?

- I know I don't.
- You couldn't if you tried.

- I love you.
- I can't imagine why.

I certainly can't imagine life without you.

Which I suppose is
my bureaucratic way of saying...

I love you, too.

You are an absolute, lovable caution.

You know, we seldom take on
married agents.

Policy, you know.

Outside of that, how does Chris stack up
for the IADC?

- Not bad, considering...
- Considering what?

Considering you left with me...

on our honeymoon
and ended up with Wonder Woman.

I'd say you're fickle.

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