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1
00:01:19,220 --> 00:01:21,680
The big question is,
how aggressive do you want to be?
2
00:01:22,310 --> 00:01:24,930
Very aggressive.
We don't want to lose any more time.
3
00:01:25,020 --> 00:01:27,810
You've been trying for... two years?
4
00:01:28,190 --> 00:01:29,190
And four months.
5
00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:33,400
I have the app monitoring ovulation,
6
00:01:33,820 --> 00:01:35,530
taking temperature and mucus levels,
7
00:01:35,610 --> 00:01:38,450
we've been planning and pacing
intercourse.
8
00:01:38,610 --> 00:01:40,200
It's been very romantic.
9
00:01:41,620 --> 00:01:43,620
So we're looking at IUI or IVF.
10
00:01:43,910 --> 00:01:46,540
- IUI is the least invasive.
- And outpatient.
11
00:01:46,620 --> 00:01:47,620
IUI...?
12
00:01:48,580 --> 00:01:50,670
Didn't you read the thing?
I told you to read it.
13
00:01:50,750 --> 00:01:54,000
Intrauterine insemination. The sperm
are injected directly into the uterus.
14
00:01:54,090 --> 00:01:56,420
- And yes, it's outpatient
- Let's start there.
15
00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:58,680
- You're 39, Steven?
- Uh-huh.
16
00:01:58,970 --> 00:02:02,010
Okay, we'll test your sperm
for count and motility percentage.
17
00:02:02,100 --> 00:02:04,970
And how far away are we
from your period, Leigh?
18
00:02:05,060 --> 00:02:07,350
It's unpredictable.
A week, maybe ten days.
19
00:02:07,690 --> 00:02:09,150
Your cycle's unpredictable?
20
00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:11,600
Is that a problem?
21
00:02:12,310 --> 00:02:13,820
Possibly, possibly not.
22
00:02:13,900 --> 00:02:16,030
That and your age are all factors.
23
00:02:16,110 --> 00:02:18,900
Over 35, the situation
becomes more difficult.
24
00:02:19,410 --> 00:02:21,030
But very often it's manageable.
25
00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:23,530
But it might be likely
that based on your test results,
26
00:02:23,620 --> 00:02:25,040
we go straight to in vitro.
27
00:02:25,540 --> 00:02:28,790
- Will Insurance help with that?
- Most companies won't cover IVF,
28
00:02:28,870 --> 00:02:32,170
but very often the genetic testing
for the man will be covered.
29
00:02:32,250 --> 00:02:33,630
Oh, that sounds fair.
30
00:02:34,300 --> 00:02:37,010
All right, so, Steven,
when can we schedule your tests?
31
00:02:37,090 --> 00:02:38,260
Which tests?
32
00:02:39,300 --> 00:02:41,640
A blood panel for chromosomal diagnosis,
33
00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:42,850
a sample of your semen.
34
00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:44,510
When did you last ejaculate?
35
00:02:45,350 --> 00:02:46,350
A week.
36
00:02:47,020 --> 00:02:48,020
Maybe less.
37
00:02:48,060 --> 00:02:49,140
No, it's two weeks.
38
00:02:49,690 --> 00:02:50,690
When...
39
00:02:53,190 --> 00:02:55,230
We'll need to reschedule it
for another time.
40
00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:57,280
We need you within
three to five days after.
41
00:03:01,950 --> 00:03:03,070
Homework, honey.
42
00:03:08,870 --> 00:03:10,000
We gotta talk.
43
00:03:11,710 --> 00:03:12,710
About what?
44
00:03:14,210 --> 00:03:15,210
Steve?
45
00:03:17,670 --> 00:03:18,670
Steve!
46
00:03:19,630 --> 00:03:20,630
Steve.
47
00:03:21,970 --> 00:03:23,140
Steve!
48
00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:28,310
Oh. I'm sorry.
49
00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:32,690
- I'll just...
- I can fix this.
50
00:03:32,770 --> 00:03:35,940
No, I don't want to cancel it,
I just wanted a usage alert.
51
00:03:36,820 --> 00:03:39,030
So you'll text me next time it's used?
52
00:03:40,530 --> 00:03:41,610
Okay. Thanks.
53
00:03:42,820 --> 00:03:44,320
He hasn't used the credit card yet.
54
00:03:44,410 --> 00:03:46,280
They're going to send me an alert
when he does.
55
00:03:46,370 --> 00:03:48,040
We can get a location from that.
56
00:03:48,620 --> 00:03:50,370
God, I hope he...
57
00:03:50,790 --> 00:03:53,960
just tries an ATM and doesn't
trade the card for dope.
58
00:03:54,290 --> 00:03:55,290
Does he have your PIN?
59
00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:56,790
Are you kidding?
60
00:03:56,880 --> 00:03:58,250
Why would he try an ATM?
61
00:03:58,550 --> 00:04:01,220
I'm sorry, Steve.
Do you have a better suggestion?
62
00:04:01,470 --> 00:04:03,510
He took the card to use the card,
63
00:04:03,590 --> 00:04:05,090
and now we'll know if he does.
64
00:04:07,850 --> 00:04:09,720
He didn't have to break the house.
65
00:04:10,060 --> 00:04:11,980
No, I don't think he did.
66
00:04:12,270 --> 00:04:13,310
Me neither.
67
00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:15,520
Someone ask you what you think, Theodora?
68
00:04:15,980 --> 00:04:17,020
Sorry.
69
00:04:17,610 --> 00:04:19,360
If it wasn't Luke, who was it?
70
00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:20,730
Maybe one of your kids.
71
00:04:21,240 --> 00:04:22,610
Yeah, that makes sense.
72
00:04:22,820 --> 00:04:23,950
It's probably my kids.
73
00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:27,160
Or maybe it was the guy
who just stole a car
74
00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:28,410
to put a needle in his arm.
75
00:04:28,490 --> 00:04:30,290
I'm worried about
a lot more than that.
76
00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:31,500
What do you mean?
77
00:04:31,580 --> 00:04:35,250
I mean, that suicides
can cluster in families,
78
00:04:35,580 --> 00:04:36,750
especially twins.
79
00:04:37,670 --> 00:04:39,210
If they lose a twin,
80
00:04:39,590 --> 00:04:40,840
the odds go up.
81
00:04:41,590 --> 00:04:45,010
He may not be planning to come home.
82
00:04:46,340 --> 00:04:48,180
Where... Where would he go?
83
00:04:48,260 --> 00:04:49,390
He could be anywhere.
84
00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:54,140
He was picked up off Mass Ave a few times
when he was living here.
85
00:04:54,730 --> 00:04:56,060
Methadone Mile.
86
00:04:56,900 --> 00:04:59,270
- What's that?
- Mass Ave, south of downtown.
87
00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:01,980
It's basically an open-air drug market.
88
00:05:02,530 --> 00:05:03,530
I remember it.
89
00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:06,530
- I'll go look for him.
- It's a waste of gas.
90
00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:08,820
- He could be anywhere.
- Yeah, I'll go with you.
91
00:05:08,910 --> 00:05:09,910
I got this.
92
00:05:09,990 --> 00:05:11,080
Just wait a bit.
93
00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:13,306
- We'll see if he's using the card.
- Call me if he does.
94
00:05:13,330 --> 00:05:15,010
Are you gonna drive in circles?
95
00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:17,960
- Hope he's standing on some corner?
- Maybe, I don't know.
96
00:05:18,790 --> 00:05:20,960
We're really not going to tell them
what we saw?
97
00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:26,800
Damn it, Luke.
98
00:05:35,390 --> 00:05:36,440
We going or what?
99
00:05:37,900 --> 00:05:38,900
I just want to help.
100
00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:42,680
I just want to help.
101
00:05:44,280 --> 00:05:45,860
Look, bud, I know you do,
102
00:05:46,030 --> 00:05:48,670
but I'm gonna start using
some really strong chemicals down here...
103
00:05:49,660 --> 00:05:50,820
...and it just isn't safe.
104
00:05:51,410 --> 00:05:52,890
I can help with something else, then.
105
00:05:52,950 --> 00:05:54,370
Look, pal,
106
00:05:55,700 --> 00:05:57,540
I've already hired all the help
I can afford
107
00:05:57,620 --> 00:05:59,901
just to get everything else
finished by the end of summer.
108
00:06:02,590 --> 00:06:04,920
I could use your help
with something, though.
109
00:06:05,010 --> 00:06:06,090
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
110
00:06:07,090 --> 00:06:10,800
See, your mom's going to go
to your Aunt Janet's in a few days
111
00:06:11,350 --> 00:06:12,350
and stay a bit.
112
00:06:12,430 --> 00:06:13,430
Maybe a week.
113
00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:15,520
How come?
114
00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:19,850
Well, you know, she's been cooped up
in this house all summer and...
115
00:06:20,650 --> 00:06:22,610
Anyway, I know it's not
the most exciting thing,
116
00:06:22,690 --> 00:06:25,030
but I could really use your help
117
00:06:25,110 --> 00:06:27,650
watching your brother and your sisters
while she's away.
118
00:06:28,610 --> 00:06:29,610
Yeah.
119
00:06:29,660 --> 00:06:30,660
Yeah, I got you.
120
00:06:31,070 --> 00:06:32,070
Okay.
121
00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:03,900
Mom?
122
00:07:03,980 --> 00:07:05,770
What do you mean, sweetheart?
123
00:07:06,610 --> 00:07:08,530
Of course you're safe with me.
124
00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:10,450
Mom.
125
00:07:12,660 --> 00:07:13,660
Are you okay?
126
00:07:15,740 --> 00:07:16,580
Where...
127
00:07:16,660 --> 00:07:17,830
Where are the twins?
128
00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:19,160
Downstairs.
129
00:07:22,170 --> 00:07:23,170
Of course.
130
00:07:23,500 --> 00:07:25,880
- Are you sure...?
- I'm fine, sweetie. I'm fine.
131
00:07:52,530 --> 00:07:53,530
Okay, thanks.
132
00:07:55,030 --> 00:07:57,280
Well, he's... he's not at Holy Family.
133
00:07:57,410 --> 00:07:59,950
We'll, he's probably not going to
instantly OD.
134
00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:03,170
You're going to call every hospital
in Boston? That the plan?
135
00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:06,540
What, you're going to just drive around,
hope we spot him in a city of 700,000...?
136
00:08:06,630 --> 00:08:09,960
I'm not looking for him.
I'm looking for a beat-up green Jeep
137
00:08:10,050 --> 00:08:12,670
with not one, but two Ani DiFranco
bumper stickers,
138
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:14,840
and I'm looking for it
where I know he used to score.
139
00:08:15,590 --> 00:08:16,850
Gotta do something.
140
00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:18,600
Yeah, we do.
141
00:08:21,810 --> 00:08:22,810
So, um...
142
00:08:24,690 --> 00:08:25,770
What's going on?
143
00:08:25,980 --> 00:08:28,190
- Hmm?
- What's going on with you and Leigh?
144
00:08:28,270 --> 00:08:29,320
What do you mean?
145
00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:30,900
Well, I mean...
146
00:08:31,900 --> 00:08:32,900
how's your marriage?
147
00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:35,280
You're kidding, right?
148
00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:36,490
You're not living at home,
149
00:08:36,570 --> 00:08:38,426
and I couldn't help but notice
at the funeral...
150
00:08:38,450 --> 00:08:41,370
- You aren't seriously doing this.
- Well, yeah, I am. I...
151
00:08:41,450 --> 00:08:43,830
Jesus Christ, Dad, you're out of line.
152
00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:47,380
We might be in the car for a while,
and so I thought to myself,
153
00:08:47,460 --> 00:08:50,020
"I'm going to ask my son about his life."
What's wrong with that?
154
00:08:50,050 --> 00:08:51,420
Doesn't work that way, Dad.
155
00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:56,930
Your mom and I were married 15 years.
156
00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:01,390
Together five before that.
157
00:09:04,100 --> 00:09:06,730
She used to say she was the kite
and I was the line.
158
00:09:06,900 --> 00:09:09,980
She was a... creature of the clouds
159
00:09:10,070 --> 00:09:13,150
and... and I was a creature of the earth.
160
00:09:14,490 --> 00:09:17,410
And she'd say that without me
she'd become untethered
161
00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:19,450
and she would float away up into the...
162
00:09:20,370 --> 00:09:22,580
And then without her,
I would just, you know,
163
00:09:22,910 --> 00:09:25,210
crash, just drop right down
to the ground,
164
00:09:25,290 --> 00:09:26,670
and, you know.
165
00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:29,170
But... together...
166
00:09:31,250 --> 00:09:32,250
we...
167
00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:38,970
You know, we separated.
168
00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:41,510
You... You didn't know that, probably.
169
00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:45,270
Briefly, we separated.
You were one year old.
170
00:09:46,020 --> 00:09:47,600
Stupidest thing I ever did.
171
00:09:47,690 --> 00:09:50,270
You know, I made some stupid
proclamation and that was it.
172
00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:51,360
Two weeks.
173
00:09:52,690 --> 00:09:56,190
Two weeks. I don't even know how
we got there. I just know we fought.
174
00:09:56,280 --> 00:10:00,160
I don't know what we fought about,
but I finally came to my senses, and...
175
00:10:02,910 --> 00:10:05,870
I thought, "What the hell,
you stupid asshole. What are you, insane?"
176
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,460
So, you know, I came back
and knocked on the door,
177
00:10:08,540 --> 00:10:10,750
she answered it,
she put her arms around me,
178
00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:13,380
she kissed me,
she forgave me with her eyes, and...
179
00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:15,710
She handed you to me.
180
00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:18,720
I had you in one arm
and her in the other and that was it.
181
00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:24,100
We were back at it.
182
00:10:26,020 --> 00:10:27,480
And Shirley came along and...
183
00:10:29,100 --> 00:10:30,980
from that moment on,
we were on the same team.
184
00:10:31,060 --> 00:10:32,940
You know, we still fought sometimes,
185
00:10:33,690 --> 00:10:34,690
but it was...
186
00:10:34,980 --> 00:10:37,740
it was different. We fought with love.
She taught me that.
187
00:10:38,610 --> 00:10:39,740
You fight with love.
188
00:10:40,070 --> 00:10:41,160
Yeah, when you're...
189
00:10:43,530 --> 00:10:46,330
You're on the same team
even in the middle of a fight.
190
00:10:46,790 --> 00:10:47,790
During the fight,
191
00:10:48,410 --> 00:10:49,960
you're... you're forgiven.
192
00:10:50,170 --> 00:10:52,540
There's no fear. There's no danger.
You're safe.
193
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,800
I hope, really, you get to
experience that sometime.
194
00:10:57,050 --> 00:10:58,050
It's a...
195
00:10:58,510 --> 00:10:59,880
It's a beautiful way to be.
196
00:11:03,260 --> 00:11:05,140
You know, look, we weren't perfect...
197
00:11:07,310 --> 00:11:08,890
but we were always kind.
198
00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:11,980
And we loved each other hard.
199
00:11:13,860 --> 00:11:17,030
And I love her today
just as much as I did in the beginning.
200
00:11:20,650 --> 00:11:21,820
The kite and the line.
201
00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:29,040
So whatever you need to fix
between you and Leigh...
202
00:11:31,250 --> 00:11:32,750
I really hope you do.
203
00:11:36,590 --> 00:11:37,590
And...
204
00:11:39,420 --> 00:11:41,550
That's all I... That's all I really
wanted to say.
205
00:11:45,300 --> 00:11:47,010
Candy, candy, candy, candy!
206
00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:49,270
Sure you won't come with us?
207
00:11:49,350 --> 00:11:50,350
You guys have fun.
208
00:11:50,390 --> 00:11:52,190
Come on, Mom, candy!
209
00:11:52,270 --> 00:11:54,690
We'll bring her back some.
Mom's had a very hard day.
210
00:11:55,110 --> 00:11:56,520
Would you stop that?
211
00:11:57,190 --> 00:11:59,530
I'm still disappointed you're not going
as Captain Lame.
212
00:11:59,650 --> 00:12:01,530
I swear to God, Dad.
213
00:12:01,610 --> 00:12:03,070
Candy, candy, candy!
214
00:12:03,740 --> 00:12:04,740
Hey.
215
00:12:05,700 --> 00:12:06,910
Can we talk when I get back?
216
00:12:07,990 --> 00:12:10,120
How? You'll be back at the hotel.
217
00:12:11,410 --> 00:12:12,410
Okay.
218
00:12:13,620 --> 00:12:14,620
Okay, Shirl.
219
00:12:16,420 --> 00:12:17,420
Stop.
220
00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:19,590
- Let's go.
- Turn off the porch light.
221
00:12:19,670 --> 00:12:21,670
I can't handle trick-or-treaters tonight.
222
00:12:24,680 --> 00:12:25,680
I love you.
223
00:12:27,100 --> 00:12:28,260
You guys have fun.
224
00:12:59,090 --> 00:13:00,170
What the hell?
225
00:13:13,060 --> 00:13:14,560
Sorry, no candy here.
226
00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:23,740
Goddamn light's off.
227
00:13:45,420 --> 00:13:47,220
I'm gonna call the hospitals again.
228
00:13:47,300 --> 00:13:49,720
- Maybe he just forgot his ID.
- And ask them what?
229
00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:51,600
If they've seen a junkie
in a funeral suit?
230
00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:53,970
He's 90 days clean
and he's your brother.
231
00:13:54,060 --> 00:13:55,270
He's a good man, Steve.
232
00:13:55,350 --> 00:13:56,850
They're not mutually exclusive.
233
00:13:56,940 --> 00:13:59,440
He's my brother, but he's a junkie.
234
00:14:02,110 --> 00:14:04,030
We're not going to find him like this.
235
00:14:04,190 --> 00:14:05,790
- You didn't have to come.
- Yeah, I did.
236
00:14:05,820 --> 00:14:07,990
- No, you really didn't.
- Yeah, I did, Steve.
237
00:14:10,410 --> 00:14:12,200
He's my son. You know? My...
238
00:14:12,530 --> 00:14:15,370
I don't know what I'd do
if I lost him, any of you.
239
00:14:18,460 --> 00:14:19,790
Yeah, I had to come.
240
00:14:21,130 --> 00:14:22,960
I can't... I can't lose...
241
00:14:24,210 --> 00:14:25,460
I can't lose anyone else.
242
00:14:28,260 --> 00:14:30,406
One day when you have children,
you'll understand that.
243
00:14:30,430 --> 00:14:32,350
I'm never having children.
244
00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:35,770
Well, that's... that's a shame.
245
00:14:36,850 --> 00:14:39,310
'Cause you kids are the best thing
in my life.
246
00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:41,060
You mean Aunt Janet's life?
247
00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:43,280
She's the one who raised your kids,
didn't she?
248
00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:45,506
- You don't know what it was like.
- You never told me.
249
00:14:45,530 --> 00:14:47,190
Everything I did, I did to protect you.
250
00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:49,070
To protect us, I know, yeah.
251
00:14:49,150 --> 00:14:50,610
Just like you protected Mom.
252
00:14:52,780 --> 00:14:53,780
Here we go.
253
00:14:53,910 --> 00:14:55,450
I saw the police reports.
254
00:14:58,160 --> 00:15:01,830
- Her skull cracked like a melon...
- All right, Steve, why don't you just...?
255
00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:04,670
There was blood all over
the library carpet.
256
00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:07,380
There were bruises on her upper arms
257
00:15:07,460 --> 00:15:09,880
because someone
grabbed her pretty hard.
258
00:15:09,970 --> 00:15:10,880
Okay, Steve...
259
00:15:10,970 --> 00:15:14,640
And a contusion on the back of her head
from being shoved into a wall?
260
00:15:16,060 --> 00:15:18,270
Her ankle was twisted,
so she was limping,
261
00:15:18,350 --> 00:15:20,690
she was bruised to hell,
depressed out of her mind,
262
00:15:20,770 --> 00:15:23,900
unmedicated, untreated,
and abandoned.
263
00:15:23,980 --> 00:15:25,480
It wasn't like that.
264
00:15:25,570 --> 00:15:27,690
I did my best. You have no idea...
265
00:15:27,780 --> 00:15:29,990
You threw us in car,
you left her there alone,
266
00:15:30,070 --> 00:15:32,610
and she threw herself
off the goddamn staircase,
267
00:15:32,700 --> 00:15:33,740
and that was your best?
268
00:15:33,820 --> 00:15:36,466
All right, well, she should not
have been left alone in the house...
269
00:15:36,490 --> 00:15:39,200
Fuck the house. It wasn't the house.
She was sick.
270
00:15:39,790 --> 00:15:42,330
She was sick in her mind,
and the one person,
271
00:15:42,420 --> 00:15:44,790
the one person that was supposed
to take care of her
272
00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:47,750
didn't do a goddamn thing
to get her help.
273
00:15:53,590 --> 00:15:54,590
I miss her.
274
00:15:57,350 --> 00:15:58,600
I miss my mom.
275
00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:03,810
I miss her too.
276
00:16:07,690 --> 00:16:09,730
It's certainly beautiful.
Where did you find it?
277
00:16:11,110 --> 00:16:12,110
The game room.
278
00:16:12,820 --> 00:16:14,360
- The what room?
- Upstairs.
279
00:16:14,450 --> 00:16:17,200
You know, I think a little paint,
maybe fix those doors,
280
00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:19,790
- and she might really love it.
- I'm sure she will.
281
00:16:20,700 --> 00:16:22,830
So do you know
where the paint and stuff is?
282
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:26,040
- Why don't you ask your father?
- I did. He's busy.
283
00:16:26,170 --> 00:16:29,000
He said if it wasn't tagged for sale,
I could do whatever I wanted.
284
00:16:29,090 --> 00:16:30,590
And it's not tagged for sale.
285
00:16:31,510 --> 00:16:33,760
Well, I do know where some paint is.
286
00:16:38,390 --> 00:16:39,640
I thought so.
287
00:16:40,310 --> 00:16:42,140
This must have been Poppy's.
288
00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:43,640
Poppy?
289
00:16:44,890 --> 00:16:45,940
Poppy Hill.
290
00:16:47,190 --> 00:16:48,610
She was William's wife.
291
00:16:49,570 --> 00:16:50,570
She was insane.
292
00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:53,070
Yeah, she looks kind of wild.
293
00:16:53,530 --> 00:16:54,820
No, I mean clinically.
294
00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:56,320
So was he.
295
00:16:57,410 --> 00:17:00,370
William's parents sent him
to an institution when he was a kid.
296
00:17:00,450 --> 00:17:03,460
They called it private school,
but it wasn't a school, though.
297
00:17:03,540 --> 00:17:06,670
It was just a place where rich parents
hid their embarrassments.
298
00:17:08,210 --> 00:17:10,420
They met in the mental institution.
299
00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:12,550
They fell in love in an asylum.
300
00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:14,300
She was insane.
301
00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:16,800
Did you know her?
302
00:17:18,180 --> 00:17:19,220
Oh, yes.
303
00:17:19,890 --> 00:17:21,850
She was just as crazy, just older.
304
00:17:23,850 --> 00:17:27,770
She was a beautiful young woman
in her time, though.
305
00:17:29,110 --> 00:17:30,360
No doubt about that.
306
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:41,870
If you really want this to be a surprise
for your mom,
307
00:17:42,620 --> 00:17:44,790
I'd suggest you don't work on it
in your room.
308
00:18:43,140 --> 00:18:45,930
Just take the fucking candy and go.
309
00:19:07,500 --> 00:19:08,580
You're very clever.
310
00:19:09,620 --> 00:19:11,250
How about you try another house?
311
00:19:11,330 --> 00:19:12,960
I'm not in the fucking mood!
312
00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:46,120
What the fuck do you want?
313
00:19:48,330 --> 00:19:49,700
Oh... Oh.
314
00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:52,540
I was just coming to apologize.
315
00:19:54,420 --> 00:19:55,670
Who are you yelling at?
316
00:19:57,590 --> 00:19:58,960
Some fucking kids are...
317
00:20:00,420 --> 00:20:01,420
Forget it.
318
00:20:08,930 --> 00:20:10,270
- Wait.
- Not now.
319
00:20:10,390 --> 00:20:11,940
- I can explain.
- I doubt that.
320
00:20:12,190 --> 00:20:14,746
- Shouldn't you be packing?
- I know what it looked like last night.
321
00:20:14,770 --> 00:20:18,070
- You were making out with my husband.
- No. No, there was no actual...
322
00:20:18,150 --> 00:20:21,320
Okay, so from what I can remember,
which isn't a lot actually,
323
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:22,320
he pushed me away.
324
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:24,920
- Is that supposed to make this better?
- If it wasn't even him.
325
00:20:25,110 --> 00:20:28,030
It wasn't... I didn't see him.
It wasn't about him.
326
00:20:28,120 --> 00:20:30,250
It's about you getting out of
my guest house
327
00:20:30,330 --> 00:20:31,580
and off my fucking property.
328
00:20:31,660 --> 00:20:34,830
- If you would just let me talk.
- I don't care what you have to say.
329
00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:37,210
Don't you understand? Get out!
330
00:20:37,290 --> 00:20:38,750
You are impossible.
Do you know that?
331
00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:40,210
I'm sorry, have I offended you?
332
00:20:40,300 --> 00:20:43,061
You are always throwing it in my face
that I live in your guest house.
333
00:20:43,090 --> 00:20:44,010
Won't happen again.
334
00:20:44,090 --> 00:20:45,970
I choose to live there, Shirley.
335
00:20:46,050 --> 00:20:48,970
- With you, for you.
- Oh, I can't thank you enough.
336
00:20:49,060 --> 00:20:50,220
You ice people out.
337
00:20:50,310 --> 00:20:51,220
You always have.
338
00:20:51,310 --> 00:20:52,560
I ice people out?
339
00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:54,020
Have you met yourself?
340
00:20:54,100 --> 00:20:56,730
And so I chose to live there
to help try and keep you warm.
341
00:20:56,810 --> 00:20:58,480
You fucking suck at apologies.
342
00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:02,070
I don't have to live in your guest house.
I'm not some bohemian weirdo.
343
00:21:02,150 --> 00:21:03,240
I'm an adult.
344
00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:04,860
I am a fucking doctor.
345
00:21:04,950 --> 00:21:06,410
You're a fucking slut.
346
00:21:08,030 --> 00:21:09,240
I just need you to know
347
00:21:09,740 --> 00:21:11,926
that it wasn't Kevin's fault
and he didn't do anything...
348
00:21:11,950 --> 00:21:14,250
Don't you fucking dare
defend my husband.
349
00:21:14,330 --> 00:21:16,960
All of us, all of us are just always
helping you
350
00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:19,840
keep up this idea in your head
that you're perfect Shirley,
351
00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:21,880
and we're just a bunch
of fuck-ups fucking up.
352
00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:24,300
- Perfect Shirley's perfect fucking...
- Out!
353
00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:25,760
No!
354
00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:28,090
You do not just get to shut me
out of your...
355
00:21:32,930 --> 00:21:34,640
Did you just punch me in the boob?
356
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:37,520
Yeah.
357
00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:39,560
Yeah!
358
00:21:40,190 --> 00:21:42,230
If you kiss my husband,
that's what you get.
359
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:44,400
You get punched
in the fucking boob.
360
00:21:45,030 --> 00:21:45,950
And you get evicted
361
00:21:46,030 --> 00:21:47,790
from my fucking house.
362
00:22:57,390 --> 00:22:58,390
Shirl?
363
00:22:59,020 --> 00:23:00,060
What's up?
364
00:23:00,900 --> 00:23:01,900
They...
365
00:23:04,270 --> 00:23:05,270
Sorry, they...
366
00:23:06,900 --> 00:23:07,940
They got a hit.
367
00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:11,780
He used the card at a gas station.
368
00:23:12,870 --> 00:23:14,660
202, just east of Amherst.
369
00:23:15,950 --> 00:23:16,950
Amherst?
370
00:23:17,120 --> 00:23:17,950
Um...
371
00:23:18,120 --> 00:23:19,830
Can you text me the address?
372
00:23:23,250 --> 00:23:24,630
- Shirl?
- Yeah.
373
00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:25,960
I'm here. Sorry.
374
00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:30,050
Yeah, I'll... I'll text you the address.
375
00:23:31,130 --> 00:23:33,850
- Amherst is on the way...
- Yeah, I know where it is.
376
00:23:33,930 --> 00:23:36,260
You guys are gonna stay there,
we're gonna go to Amherst.
377
00:23:36,350 --> 00:23:39,680
I'm saying, if he's stopping in Amherst,
he's heading...
378
00:23:39,770 --> 00:23:41,850
Shirley, listen to me,
you're gonna stay put.
379
00:23:41,940 --> 00:23:43,770
- You hear me?
- Tell them what happened.
380
00:23:44,810 --> 00:23:46,360
Tell them what just happened.
381
00:23:47,900 --> 00:23:49,030
I'll text you.
382
00:23:50,860 --> 00:23:53,450
Some fucking kids playing a prank
is what happened.
383
00:23:53,530 --> 00:23:54,530
You know it wasn't.
384
00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:56,200
You know that.
385
00:23:57,540 --> 00:24:00,750
That's not the only thing like that
that's happened here tonight.
386
00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:07,460
I think Luke is going to the house.
387
00:24:08,420 --> 00:24:09,760
Of course he is.
388
00:24:10,470 --> 00:24:12,430
The goddamn house.
389
00:24:13,010 --> 00:24:16,140
It was a good enough spot for Nell,
it's a good enough spot for Luke.
390
00:24:16,220 --> 00:24:18,600
He always wanted to do what she did
his whole life.
391
00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:19,930
- You think you know.
- Uh-huh.
392
00:24:20,020 --> 00:24:21,930
And you just don't,
you don't understand.
393
00:24:22,020 --> 00:24:23,850
Last time I saw Mom,
394
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:25,900
the look in her eye,
395
00:24:26,310 --> 00:24:27,400
I've seen that look.
396
00:24:27,820 --> 00:24:30,940
And Nell over the years, and Luke,
from the start,
397
00:24:31,030 --> 00:24:34,530
from when he'd sit there
drawing crazy ghouls in his treehouse,
398
00:24:34,610 --> 00:24:37,030
and, hell, I've seen that look
in the mirror.
399
00:24:39,370 --> 00:24:41,870
Our family has a disease
that's never been treated,
400
00:24:41,950 --> 00:24:44,500
because it was easier
to listen to your crazy stories
401
00:24:44,580 --> 00:24:45,630
about an evil house.
402
00:24:48,130 --> 00:24:51,276
You think you saw it in the mirror? That's
why you think you'll never have kids?
403
00:24:51,300 --> 00:24:52,840
Oh, I know I'm never having children.
404
00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:56,090
Because you think that they'll
just have the same imaginary sickness?
405
00:24:56,180 --> 00:24:58,220
They would. We all do.
406
00:24:58,300 --> 00:25:00,680
Nell was delusional, depressed,
407
00:25:00,770 --> 00:25:03,680
Luke's an addict,
Shirley is a control freak,
408
00:25:03,770 --> 00:25:06,650
and Theo's basically
a clenched fist with hair.
409
00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:10,270
The whole fucking family
is on the brink of a breakdown
410
00:25:10,360 --> 00:25:13,530
and seeing things that aren't there,
hearing things that aren't there,
411
00:25:13,610 --> 00:25:16,070
and that shit happened after the house.
412
00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:17,320
It's not the house.
413
00:25:17,410 --> 00:25:20,030
There's something wrong
with our goddamn brains.
414
00:25:20,410 --> 00:25:22,160
So yeah, I'm never having children.
415
00:25:23,620 --> 00:25:24,660
I made sure.
416
00:25:28,380 --> 00:25:29,380
A vasectomy.
417
00:25:31,750 --> 00:25:32,760
Right out of college.
418
00:25:34,220 --> 00:25:37,300
And it was the right call, believe me,
because if I ever doubted it,
419
00:25:37,390 --> 00:25:40,470
some of the bullshit
I've been hallucinating this week...
420
00:25:43,060 --> 00:25:44,060
You really did?
421
00:25:45,100 --> 00:25:46,100
Yeah.
422
00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:49,810
Before you met Leigh?
423
00:25:53,990 --> 00:25:54,990
Boy.
424
00:25:56,820 --> 00:25:57,820
You didn't tell her?
425
00:25:59,620 --> 00:26:00,700
You didn't tell her.
426
00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:03,240
No.
427
00:26:05,500 --> 00:26:07,040
She wanted kids, I knew that.
428
00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:10,960
I kept thinking, "I'll tell her later,
now's not the time."
429
00:26:13,630 --> 00:26:16,170
But then we were engaged,
and then we were married,
430
00:26:16,260 --> 00:26:19,470
and then we were trying and she
was so upset it wasn't working.
431
00:26:22,850 --> 00:26:24,140
I couldn't say.
432
00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:26,560
I can't. My genes.
433
00:26:27,390 --> 00:26:30,060
"My... My genes are rotten, Leigh."
434
00:26:30,900 --> 00:26:31,900
So I... I...
435
00:26:34,650 --> 00:26:35,900
I didn't tell her.
436
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:40,530
And I thought I was being kind,
I really thought that.
437
00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:44,870
See, we're all fucking crazy.
438
00:26:46,410 --> 00:26:47,660
The crazy Crains.
439
00:26:49,620 --> 00:26:53,210
This sickness already killed two of us,
might kill a third tonight.
440
00:26:53,630 --> 00:26:54,630
That's...
441
00:26:55,630 --> 00:26:56,710
almost half.
442
00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:00,260
Be almost half of us.
443
00:27:03,930 --> 00:27:06,890
So, you want to tell me more
about the kite and the line?
444
00:27:09,190 --> 00:27:10,190
Or just...
445
00:27:11,190 --> 00:27:13,310
Just tell me what a shitty husband I was.
446
00:27:13,980 --> 00:27:14,980
Go ahead.
447
00:27:18,030 --> 00:27:19,110
I'm so sorry.
448
00:27:20,360 --> 00:27:21,360
I'm just...
449
00:27:24,830 --> 00:27:26,080
I'm just so sorry, son.
450
00:27:28,120 --> 00:27:29,160
You did this?
451
00:27:29,750 --> 00:27:31,870
This is beautiful.
You did this by yourself?
452
00:27:32,330 --> 00:27:33,960
Thought it might cheer you up.
453
00:27:34,420 --> 00:27:35,750
Dad said you've been...
454
00:27:36,710 --> 00:27:38,590
What? What did he say?
455
00:27:38,710 --> 00:27:40,260
I'm... I just...
456
00:27:40,340 --> 00:27:42,430
I know you're taking a little vacation.
457
00:27:42,510 --> 00:27:44,050
I wanted to cheer you up.
458
00:27:46,100 --> 00:27:47,100
Oh, sweetie.
459
00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:50,520
How long are you going to be gone?
460
00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:51,850
Oh, not long.
461
00:27:52,140 --> 00:27:53,190
Not long, honey.
462
00:27:53,810 --> 00:27:56,770
I just need a little time away.
It's nothing more than that, okay?
463
00:27:57,320 --> 00:27:58,320
Okay.
464
00:27:59,900 --> 00:28:01,070
This is perfect.
465
00:28:02,820 --> 00:28:04,910
Thank you. Thank you! I love it.
466
00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:13,040
Mom?
467
00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:22,050
Oh, baby.
468
00:28:24,180 --> 00:28:25,300
Oh, I'm so sorry.
469
00:28:26,300 --> 00:28:29,100
This is an older picture.
He would have been wearing a suit.
470
00:28:29,180 --> 00:28:31,770
- About an hour ago. Did he come in?
- Yeah, I think so.
471
00:28:31,850 --> 00:28:32,690
Yeah?
472
00:28:32,770 --> 00:28:34,940
Did he say anything weird
or do anything...?
473
00:28:35,020 --> 00:28:36,270
He filled up his Jeep.
474
00:28:36,650 --> 00:28:38,110
- Green Jeep?
- That's right.
475
00:28:38,190 --> 00:28:40,860
And then he filled up some cans,
like, five cans.
476
00:28:41,610 --> 00:28:43,150
Five cans, you say?
477
00:28:55,540 --> 00:28:56,830
- Was it him?
- Yeah.
478
00:28:58,000 --> 00:28:59,090
What are you doing?
479
00:28:59,420 --> 00:29:01,380
- I'm driving.
- No, this...
480
00:29:01,460 --> 00:29:02,590
This is my rental.
481
00:29:08,890 --> 00:29:10,600
Jesus, Dad, slow down.
482
00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:13,200
He bought five cans of gasoline.
He's not going to kill himself,
483
00:29:13,270 --> 00:29:15,430
- he's going to burn the house down.
- That's a relief.
484
00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:17,770
He's in more danger now
than he's ever been,
485
00:29:17,860 --> 00:29:20,230
and if he tries to burn it,
it will defend itself.
486
00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:23,440
- You really didn't hear a word I said.
- I did. Now you're gonna listen to me.
487
00:29:24,740 --> 00:29:26,240
There's a lot you don't know.
488
00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:30,660
I thought I could keep you kids safe
if you didn't know, but for 20 years
489
00:29:30,740 --> 00:29:33,386
I've been holding the door closed,
'cause I knew there were monsters
490
00:29:33,410 --> 00:29:35,080
on the other side,
do you understand me?
491
00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:36,420
Not even a little.
492
00:29:36,500 --> 00:29:39,880
Our family is like an unfinished meal
to that house,
493
00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:42,510
and your brother is walking
right back into...
494
00:29:44,010 --> 00:29:48,340
That house is the most dangerous place
in the world for all of us,
495
00:29:49,220 --> 00:29:50,760
but especially for you.
496
00:29:51,220 --> 00:29:52,560
- For me?
- Yeah, you.
497
00:29:53,220 --> 00:29:54,140
What? Why?
498
00:29:54,230 --> 00:29:55,890
Because I read your book,
499
00:29:55,980 --> 00:29:59,690
and you are the last person that
should ever step foot in that house
500
00:29:59,770 --> 00:30:02,270
because of what you wrote
and how you wrote it.
501
00:30:02,610 --> 00:30:05,030
You think you know what you saw?
502
00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:08,280
- You think you know what you wrote?
- What?
503
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:10,700
I know you saw a ghost.
504
00:30:11,490 --> 00:30:13,370
Yeah, chapter 19.
505
00:30:13,580 --> 00:30:14,410
Yeah.
506
00:30:14,500 --> 00:30:17,460
That little story about the vanity
you painted for your mother.
507
00:30:17,540 --> 00:30:19,960
That's a story about a schizophrenic woman
508
00:30:20,040 --> 00:30:21,960
having a manic episode
in front of a mirror.
509
00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:23,630
You don't understand what you wrote...
510
00:30:23,710 --> 00:30:26,420
No, I saw Mom smash that glass
511
00:30:26,510 --> 00:30:28,050
- for no reason.
- Before that.
512
00:30:28,130 --> 00:30:30,010
Go to the beginning,
that little bit,
513
00:30:30,220 --> 00:30:32,010
about the vanity and why you did it.
514
00:30:32,100 --> 00:30:34,310
- You found the vanity in the game room.
- Uh-huh.
515
00:30:34,390 --> 00:30:36,600
And you walked by the man
repairing the clock,
516
00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:38,980
and then you saw your mother
looking into the twins' room,
517
00:30:39,060 --> 00:30:40,310
staring at their empty beds.
518
00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:43,070
Textbook dissociative episode.
She was not well.
519
00:30:43,150 --> 00:30:44,440
No, no, not her.
520
00:30:44,530 --> 00:30:46,320
The man repairing the clock.
521
00:30:47,610 --> 00:30:48,610
What about him?
522
00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:51,530
Do you know what "witness marks" are?
523
00:30:52,830 --> 00:30:53,870
They're scars.
524
00:30:54,580 --> 00:30:56,450
Little marks inside the clock,
525
00:30:56,540 --> 00:30:58,460
scrapes, lines, divots,
526
00:30:58,540 --> 00:31:00,290
from tools, gears,
527
00:31:00,670 --> 00:31:02,590
pieces removed from the clock.
528
00:31:02,670 --> 00:31:05,880
They're basically evidence of repairs
that have been done to the clock
529
00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:07,260
and what the clock was.
530
00:31:07,970 --> 00:31:09,840
And with antique clocks,
531
00:31:09,930 --> 00:31:11,640
you almost never have a repair record,
532
00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:14,220
so you have to learn how to read
the witness marks,
533
00:31:14,310 --> 00:31:16,310
so you can understand
what was done to the machine
534
00:31:16,390 --> 00:31:18,180
and how it's meant to function.
535
00:31:19,140 --> 00:31:21,600
Witness marks tell the story of the piece,
536
00:31:21,850 --> 00:31:23,480
if you know how to read them.
537
00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:25,150
What are you trying to say?
538
00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:27,820
I had that clock evaluated
by a professional
539
00:31:27,900 --> 00:31:29,740
before we even moved into the house.
540
00:31:30,110 --> 00:31:34,070
I just wanted to know its history,
know its value.
541
00:31:34,660 --> 00:31:36,830
That clock hadn't been touched
since the '60s.
542
00:31:37,290 --> 00:31:39,830
You hired a slew of workers
toward the end...
543
00:31:39,910 --> 00:31:41,870
Not for that clock, I didn't. Uh-uh.
544
00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:46,050
No, and if I had, it would have
taken a specialist.
545
00:31:46,130 --> 00:31:48,646
There's only a handful in the world
who know how to do it right,
546
00:31:48,670 --> 00:31:49,720
and they take it off-site.
547
00:31:50,220 --> 00:31:52,470
No. No one touched that clock.
There was no man there,
548
00:31:52,550 --> 00:31:56,180
and certainly not one in old overalls
with a handlebar mustache.
549
00:31:56,260 --> 00:31:58,100
That man wasn't there.
550
00:31:59,310 --> 00:32:00,480
You probably just forgot.
551
00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:03,060
You know, you think you're writing
about your crazy mom,
552
00:32:03,150 --> 00:32:05,770
your crazy brother
making scary faces in the treehouse.
553
00:32:05,860 --> 00:32:08,480
You see the marks,
but you don't know how to read them.
554
00:32:09,440 --> 00:32:12,200
I never built you kids a treehouse.
555
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:14,950
What? Luke was in there all the time.
556
00:32:15,030 --> 00:32:18,120
- I used to go fetch him for dinner...
- We were there flipping a house.
557
00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:20,500
We were gonna be there maybe eight weeks.
558
00:32:20,580 --> 00:32:24,120
How would I even have the time to build
you kids a goddamn treehouse?
559
00:32:24,210 --> 00:32:26,960
- Maybe it was already there.
- There was no treehouse.
560
00:32:29,090 --> 00:32:30,810
Now, when we get there,
you can have a look,
561
00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:33,680
but I have to tell you something:
your mother, she was not sick.
562
00:32:34,300 --> 00:32:36,760
She wasn't crazy,
and neither was your sister,
563
00:32:36,850 --> 00:32:38,970
neither is your brother,
neither are you.
564
00:32:39,060 --> 00:32:40,810
Whatever you saw this week,
565
00:32:40,890 --> 00:32:43,810
and I'm very sorry you have to be
taking all this in right now,
566
00:32:43,890 --> 00:32:44,770
but you have to.
567
00:32:44,850 --> 00:32:46,310
Do you understand me?
You have to,
568
00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:49,360
because your brother's life
depends on it.
569
00:32:50,070 --> 00:32:53,400
That house is the most dangerous place
in the world for all of us,
570
00:32:53,700 --> 00:32:56,410
and that's why I told your sisters
to stay put.
571
00:32:58,450 --> 00:32:59,830
You really think they will?
572
00:33:05,370 --> 00:33:06,500
Do you think he's...?
573
00:33:08,340 --> 00:33:09,340
You know...
574
00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:13,130
going there like Nell went there?
575
00:33:13,550 --> 00:33:14,930
Like going to kill himself?
576
00:33:16,260 --> 00:33:17,260
I don't know.
577
00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:20,720
No.
578
00:33:20,890 --> 00:33:21,970
I guess I don't.
579
00:33:24,230 --> 00:33:26,100
I'm not perfect, you know.
580
00:33:27,600 --> 00:33:28,600
I know.
581
00:33:29,690 --> 00:33:30,690
I'm really not.
582
00:33:32,030 --> 00:33:33,610
So go ahead, tell me.
583
00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:36,200
Try again.
584
00:33:39,410 --> 00:33:41,240
Dad and I were in your office,
585
00:33:41,330 --> 00:33:44,200
and the forever house
was on the floor,
586
00:33:44,790 --> 00:33:46,500
and we heard a noise under the desk...
587
00:33:46,580 --> 00:33:48,420
Not that. You already told me that.
588
00:33:50,290 --> 00:33:51,590
I was really drunk.
589
00:33:52,380 --> 00:33:54,800
- Swear to God, Theo...
- And the lights went out
590
00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:57,760
while we were down there, and I...
591
00:33:59,180 --> 00:34:01,640
couldn't see. I was in the dark.
592
00:34:02,930 --> 00:34:05,060
I mean, like I was in the dark
593
00:34:05,730 --> 00:34:08,190
that whole night, and I just needed...
594
00:34:08,270 --> 00:34:09,770
I... I needed...
595
00:34:12,190 --> 00:34:13,530
I couldn't see
596
00:34:14,070 --> 00:34:15,070
him,
597
00:34:15,190 --> 00:34:16,570
if that makes any sense.
598
00:34:16,700 --> 00:34:18,410
You know what? Never mind.
599
00:34:18,910 --> 00:34:21,530
- I'm trying to tell you...
- Forget I asked.
600
00:34:21,620 --> 00:34:23,950
You just don't know what I'm dealing with.
601
00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:25,330
We've all been dealing,
602
00:34:25,410 --> 00:34:28,330
and we somehow managed
not to try to fuck each other's spouses...
603
00:34:28,420 --> 00:34:30,830
Hey, that's not what this was about.
It just isn't.
604
00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:33,210
So, you were drunk,
605
00:34:33,300 --> 00:34:35,590
- and that's supposed to be okay?
- I'm telling you.
606
00:34:36,420 --> 00:34:38,760
I don't even know why
I let you come with me.
607
00:34:39,930 --> 00:34:42,810
I touched Nell's body the night before.
608
00:34:43,430 --> 00:34:44,850
The fuck is wrong with you?
609
00:34:46,680 --> 00:34:47,980
Why don't you listen?
610
00:34:48,060 --> 00:34:49,770
- I don't...
- I'm telling you.
611
00:34:49,850 --> 00:34:52,940
- I'm trying to tell you.
- I don't need to hear your excuses...
612
00:34:53,020 --> 00:34:54,876
- I'm not making excuses.
- ...or your bullshit.
613
00:34:54,900 --> 00:34:55,900
I saw...
614
00:35:16,590 --> 00:35:17,590
Are you okay?
615
00:35:17,630 --> 00:35:18,760
That was her!
616
00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:21,760
That was her! That was her!
617
00:35:22,180 --> 00:35:24,050
Did you see that, Shirley?
618
00:35:24,140 --> 00:35:26,140
Do you fucking believe that?
619
00:35:30,390 --> 00:35:32,020
You ought to know why I did it.
620
00:35:33,190 --> 00:35:35,400
I touched Nell because I had to know.
621
00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:37,940
You know what I'm talking about.
622
00:35:38,030 --> 00:35:39,490
Don't pretend that you don't.
623
00:35:40,490 --> 00:35:42,660
You know what happens
when I touch people.
624
00:35:42,740 --> 00:35:44,740
A part of you knows, it always has.
625
00:35:46,870 --> 00:35:48,370
I had to know and I...
626
00:35:49,580 --> 00:35:50,580
I touched her.
627
00:35:51,620 --> 00:35:52,620
And I felt...
628
00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:54,960
nothing.
629
00:35:56,590 --> 00:35:58,090
Just nothing.
630
00:35:59,590 --> 00:36:02,300
And it spread,
it spread everywhere in me,
631
00:36:02,380 --> 00:36:05,510
this nothing, until I couldn't
feel anything anymore.
632
00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:07,140
I was just this dark,
633
00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:09,350
empty black hole.
634
00:36:09,850 --> 00:36:12,140
And I tried to fill it up,
I tried to fill me back up,
635
00:36:12,230 --> 00:36:15,440
and I called Trish and she came right away
and I felt nothing.
636
00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:18,480
And then I tried to mourn at the wake
and I felt nothing,
637
00:36:18,570 --> 00:36:21,950
and so I drank and I drank,
and nothing worked.
638
00:36:22,030 --> 00:36:24,160
I couldn't feel anything, Shirley.
639
00:36:24,240 --> 00:36:27,580
After I touched her skin,
I couldn't feel...
640
00:36:28,740 --> 00:36:29,910
anything.
641
00:36:30,660 --> 00:36:33,750
And then we're in the basement
and the lights go out.
642
00:36:35,170 --> 00:36:36,460
And I can't see.
643
00:36:37,130 --> 00:36:38,460
And I can't feel.
644
00:36:39,500 --> 00:36:43,680
And I'm just... I'm just floating
in this ocean of nothing,
645
00:36:43,760 --> 00:36:46,390
and I wonder if this is it,
if this is what death is,
646
00:36:46,470 --> 00:36:50,430
just out there in the darkness,
just darkness and numbness and alone,
647
00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:54,390
and I wondered if that's what she felt
and that's what Mom feels,
648
00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:58,360
and it's just numb and nothing and alone.
649
00:37:02,110 --> 00:37:04,860
What if that's what it is for all of us
650
00:37:05,910 --> 00:37:07,120
when the time comes?
651
00:37:09,830 --> 00:37:12,660
And then the lights came on
and there he was, and I...
652
00:37:13,250 --> 00:37:15,290
I didn't see him. I didn't see him.
653
00:37:15,370 --> 00:37:17,210
He was the light in the darkness.
654
00:37:17,290 --> 00:37:19,920
He was a life preserver in the ocean.
655
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:23,340
I just... I reached for him
because I had to feel something.
656
00:37:23,420 --> 00:37:24,680
I had to feel anything.
657
00:37:26,010 --> 00:37:27,760
And I didn't see him.
658
00:37:28,180 --> 00:37:30,430
I didn't... I didn't see him.
I didn't see him.
659
00:37:30,640 --> 00:37:31,640
I didn't see him!
660
00:37:31,720 --> 00:37:33,230
And he stopped me. He stopped me.
661
00:37:33,310 --> 00:37:35,100
He took my hands, and he said no,
662
00:37:35,190 --> 00:37:37,560
and then I saw him,
and then you walked in.
663
00:37:39,020 --> 00:37:41,230
God, I'm so glad I did it, though.
664
00:37:42,690 --> 00:37:43,940
Because it worked.
665
00:37:44,860 --> 00:37:46,410
Oh, God, it worked.
666
00:37:46,910 --> 00:37:48,450
I started feeling things again,
667
00:37:48,530 --> 00:37:51,620
and I felt... I felt shame,
and I felt grief,
668
00:37:51,700 --> 00:37:53,910
and I felt... scared.
669
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:55,660
I felt so fucking scared
670
00:37:55,750 --> 00:37:58,580
that I was gonna lose
the only sister that I had left.
671
00:38:00,630 --> 00:38:01,630
And I...
672
00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:05,420
Honestly, I had to do it,
because it felt better than nothing.
673
00:38:05,550 --> 00:38:08,640
That thorough fucking shame
674
00:38:09,010 --> 00:38:13,020
was so much better than that horrible,
empty nothing.
675
00:38:13,100 --> 00:38:15,770
I can't... Shirley, please.
676
00:38:18,230 --> 00:38:20,400
I am... I am so...
677
00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:22,110
I am so, so, so sorry.
678
00:38:22,900 --> 00:38:24,150
I'm so sorry.
679
00:38:25,070 --> 00:38:27,070
Please, just please.
680
00:40:04,330 --> 00:40:06,670
One, two, three, four,
681
00:40:06,800 --> 00:40:08,420
five, six, seven.
682
00:40:14,850 --> 00:40:15,850
One,
683
00:40:16,050 --> 00:40:17,850
two, three,
684
00:40:18,390 --> 00:40:20,060
four, five,
685
00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:21,560
six...
686
00:40:57,260 --> 00:40:58,260
Mom.
50353
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