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1
00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:08,734
I had a great time with you last night.
2
00:00:08,735 --> 00:00:11,088
Well, this morning
wasn't too bad either.
3
00:00:11,712 --> 00:00:14,781
Don't you forget to hydrate.
4
00:00:15,983 --> 00:00:18,484
Those are your friends over there?
5
00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:26,159
I've never seen them before
in my life.
6
00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:28,494
No, Hank. For the last time.
7
00:00:28,495 --> 00:00:31,164
This is the signal for "W"
8
00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:33,399
This is the signal for "P"
9
00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:37,837
Wait, what's that the signal for?
10
00:00:37,838 --> 00:00:40,640
Oh, I don't know. It's just
something weird my arm does.
11
00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:43,476
Don't even tell me
what you guys are doing.
12
00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:45,178
I don't want to know.
13
00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:46,813
If you must know, Margaret,
14
00:00:46,814 --> 00:00:48,648
I got to pass this eye test
15
00:00:48,649 --> 00:00:51,150
so I can renew my license
for my golf cart.
16
00:00:51,151 --> 00:00:52,552
So to make sure I'm gonna pass it,
17
00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:53,987
we runnin' a little scam.
18
00:00:53,988 --> 00:00:56,055
To be real, the eye test is the scam.
19
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,057
It's Western medicine, man.
20
00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:00,159
You know, the government
designed this test
21
00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:02,195
- to make our eyes worse.
- Mm.
22
00:01:02,196 --> 00:01:03,930
But you're wearing glasses right now.
23
00:01:03,931 --> 00:01:07,367
Yeah, I know.
I am a victim of it myself.
24
00:01:07,368 --> 00:01:09,068
But think about this.
25
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:11,537
What are glasses made of?
26
00:01:11,538 --> 00:01:13,172
Glass.
27
00:01:15,042 --> 00:01:16,943
And what is glass made of?
28
00:01:16,944 --> 00:01:18,411
Sand.
29
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:20,446
And where does sand come from?
30
00:01:20,447 --> 00:01:22,915
The Middle East.
31
00:01:24,351 --> 00:01:26,919
I'm not getting glasses.
32
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:29,422
That's the first stop
on the road to death.
33
00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:32,725
Hank, just don't drive a golf cart.
34
00:01:32,726 --> 00:01:34,494
You could use the steps.
35
00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:39,866
"Just don't drive a golf cart."
36
00:01:41,902 --> 00:01:42,935
Ah...
37
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,604
Margaret.
38
00:01:46,006 --> 00:01:48,975
The dating scene
at Shady Meadows is a pyramid.
39
00:01:48,976 --> 00:01:51,344
At the top of the pyramid,
that's the stallions...
40
00:01:51,345 --> 00:01:52,745
they have the golf carts.
41
00:01:52,746 --> 00:01:54,080
- Right.
- At the bottom,
42
00:01:54,081 --> 00:01:56,349
those are the walkers, the slugs.
43
00:01:56,350 --> 00:01:57,984
Me, I'm a stallion.
44
00:01:57,985 --> 00:02:01,387
I crush those slugs
under my thundering hooves.
45
00:02:01,388 --> 00:02:04,323
Mm. The thundering hooves
of your golf cart.
46
00:02:04,324 --> 00:02:06,158
- That's right.
- Boy.
47
00:02:06,159 --> 00:02:09,228
Is there anybody normal around
here I can have breakfast with?
48
00:02:09,229 --> 00:02:10,963
Howdy, folks.
49
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:13,733
Boy, it's a nice day to drink beer,
50
00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:17,336
watch football and...
not have sex with men.
51
00:02:19,506 --> 00:02:21,941
Did y'all buy that?
52
00:02:24,344 --> 00:02:26,445
♪
53
00:02:34,992 --> 00:02:41,092
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
54
00:02:46,366 --> 00:02:48,234
What is going on, Sid?
55
00:02:48,235 --> 00:02:49,573
My son Walt just told me
56
00:02:49,574 --> 00:02:51,175
he's dropping by for a visit.
57
00:02:51,176 --> 00:02:53,377
In an hour, Margaret. An hour.
58
00:02:53,378 --> 00:02:55,446
Well, what is wrong with that?
59
00:02:55,447 --> 00:02:59,350
Why are you dressed
like Woody from Toy Story?
60
00:02:59,351 --> 00:03:02,420
I'm trying to dress
like a straight person,
61
00:03:02,421 --> 00:03:05,089
because Walt does not know I'm gay.
62
00:03:07,325 --> 00:03:09,894
Wait a minute.
63
00:03:09,895 --> 00:03:12,663
You're not out to your son?
How could he not know?
64
00:03:12,664 --> 00:03:14,799
I see the struggle that
you're having there, Margaret.
65
00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:16,801
It's a struggle that
we've all had ourselves.
66
00:03:16,802 --> 00:03:18,769
- Yep.
- Now, what we've landed on...
67
00:03:18,770 --> 00:03:20,638
and no offense, Sid... is that, um,
68
00:03:20,639 --> 00:03:22,773
that boy's just not bright.
69
00:03:22,774 --> 00:03:24,675
Wait.
70
00:03:24,676 --> 00:03:27,044
I-I'm just still trying
to wrap my head around the fact
71
00:03:27,045 --> 00:03:29,080
that somebody could see you
and know you
72
00:03:29,081 --> 00:03:31,248
and think that you're straight.
73
00:03:31,249 --> 00:03:33,217
Kids just believe their dads.
74
00:03:33,218 --> 00:03:34,952
You know, I get the dad thing.
75
00:03:34,953 --> 00:03:36,733
I always thought my dad
was a rich dentist.
76
00:03:37,122 --> 00:03:41,125
Turns out he was
just the guy that shot JFK.
77
00:03:43,228 --> 00:03:47,331
Well, as great
as Charlie's example is, I...
78
00:03:47,332 --> 00:03:50,968
I still think you should just
try telling your son the truth.
79
00:03:50,969 --> 00:03:53,070
I can't. I can't.
80
00:03:53,071 --> 00:03:55,339
I've lied to him his entire life.
81
00:03:55,340 --> 00:03:56,640
If I told him the truth right now,
82
00:03:56,641 --> 00:03:59,009
it would blow up
our entire relationship.
83
00:03:59,010 --> 00:04:00,911
He'd be shattered.
84
00:04:00,912 --> 00:04:03,614
Just shattered to smithereens.
85
00:04:05,016 --> 00:04:07,184
He really doesn't know?
86
00:04:08,820 --> 00:04:11,655
Okay, Walt's gonna be here
in 30 minutes.
87
00:04:11,656 --> 00:04:13,824
I removed all the gay stuff
from my room.
88
00:04:13,825 --> 00:04:15,726
Tell me if I missed anything.
89
00:04:21,967 --> 00:04:23,868
I'd say you missed everything.
90
00:04:26,404 --> 00:04:28,439
♪
91
00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:32,943
Okay, this couch looks
pretty straight to me.
92
00:04:32,944 --> 00:04:34,712
One second.
93
00:04:35,647 --> 00:04:37,348
- Oh!
- There.
94
00:04:37,349 --> 00:04:39,350
Perfect.
95
00:04:39,351 --> 00:04:42,013
And I brought you a bunch of
straight guy stuff from my room,
96
00:04:42,014 --> 00:04:43,248
so you could hang it up here.
97
00:04:43,249 --> 00:04:45,417
I'm giving you my football phone.
98
00:04:46,886 --> 00:04:49,220
My bikini girl poster.
99
00:04:52,858 --> 00:04:55,827
And, uh... Charles Barkley cologne.
100
00:04:55,828 --> 00:04:59,397
Don't get this on your skin;
this is clothes only.
101
00:04:59,398 --> 00:05:02,667
Am I pretending to be a straight
man or a 15-year-old boy?
102
00:05:02,668 --> 00:05:05,303
If you figure out
the difference, let me know.
103
00:05:05,304 --> 00:05:08,840
Now, I got to look and see that
there's football all weekend
104
00:05:08,841 --> 00:05:10,976
so we can sail through till Sunday.
105
00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:13,311
Yeah, or here's a crazy thought.
106
00:05:13,312 --> 00:05:15,480
You could maybe
just communicate with your son.
107
00:05:18,317 --> 00:05:21,252
Margaret. Communication
between fathers and sons
108
00:05:21,253 --> 00:05:24,055
is a series of nods and grunts
109
00:05:24,056 --> 00:05:27,859
and decade-long bouts of silence.
110
00:05:27,860 --> 00:05:30,862
My dad gave me a grunt
of approval once, and I wept.
111
00:05:30,863 --> 00:05:33,498
Later on, by myself, in the dark
so he couldn't see me.
112
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,936
Thank you, Charlie.
113
00:05:39,205 --> 00:05:41,573
You know what? I want no part of this.
114
00:05:41,574 --> 00:05:43,808
I'm just gonna go back to my room
115
00:05:43,809 --> 00:05:47,645
and try not to think about what
Hank has done to that poster.
116
00:05:50,349 --> 00:05:53,952
What'd you do to that poster?
117
00:05:53,953 --> 00:05:57,956
I don't do it to the poster,
I do it to myself.
118
00:05:57,957 --> 00:05:59,958
Oh, he's here!
119
00:05:59,959 --> 00:06:02,193
He's here. He's here.
120
00:06:02,194 --> 00:06:03,695
I mean, uh...
121
00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:05,530
let's get ready
to rock and roll, people.
122
00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:09,467
- Walt.
- What's up, Pop?
123
00:06:09,468 --> 00:06:12,303
Oh, my little man!
124
00:06:12,304 --> 00:06:13,772
Ho, ho, ho!
125
00:06:13,773 --> 00:06:16,441
Ha-ha! How are Tammy and the boys?
126
00:06:16,442 --> 00:06:19,210
Oh, Tammy's good, and the
boys bite each other a lot.
127
00:06:19,211 --> 00:06:21,212
It's hilarious.
128
00:06:21,213 --> 00:06:23,348
- Oh, you fellas must be...
- I'm Charlie.
129
00:06:23,349 --> 00:06:24,349
...Charlie and Hank.
130
00:06:24,350 --> 00:06:25,917
- Yeah.
- How are you?
131
00:06:25,918 --> 00:06:27,519
We must be.
132
00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:29,587
Walt, what's with the surprise visit?
133
00:06:29,588 --> 00:06:31,689
Well, I came to see where you live.
134
00:06:31,690 --> 00:06:34,626
And see who your friends are,
what your life's like.
135
00:06:34,627 --> 00:06:37,062
You keep making excuses
for why I can't visit you,
136
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:38,963
so I decided to come on my own.
137
00:06:38,964 --> 00:06:40,398
Plus, it's the big game.
138
00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:43,101
- The Cowboys.
- Oh, the Cowboys!
139
00:06:43,102 --> 00:06:44,736
The Dallas Cowboys! I love 'em!
140
00:06:44,737 --> 00:06:47,472
They're the tits! Which I also love.
141
00:06:48,641 --> 00:06:50,041
You caught last week's game, right?
142
00:06:50,042 --> 00:06:51,776
You see all those sacks our boys got?
143
00:06:51,777 --> 00:06:55,380
Oh, did I ever! It was
Sacks Fifth Avenue out there.
144
00:06:55,381 --> 00:06:57,215
Oh!
145
00:06:58,484 --> 00:06:59,851
Hilarious as always, Dad.
146
00:06:59,852 --> 00:07:01,352
Well, park it, buster.
147
00:07:01,353 --> 00:07:02,787
Let's watch some football.
148
00:07:02,788 --> 00:07:04,689
I'm gonna sit right on these chips,
149
00:07:04,690 --> 00:07:06,858
'cause it doesn't bother me at all.
150
00:07:10,529 --> 00:07:11,763
Yeah.
151
00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:13,164
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
152
00:07:13,165 --> 00:07:15,967
Mm-hmm.
153
00:07:18,637 --> 00:07:20,472
Whose kimono is this?
154
00:07:20,473 --> 00:07:22,140
Mi...
155
00:07:22,141 --> 00:07:24,042
My, my, my.
156
00:07:24,043 --> 00:07:26,811
Well, whose is it?
157
00:07:26,812 --> 00:07:28,213
Whose is it?
158
00:07:28,214 --> 00:07:30,748
Whose is it? Whose? Whose, indeed.
159
00:07:30,749 --> 00:07:33,485
Well, well, isn't that the, um,
doesn't belong to that, uh,
160
00:07:33,486 --> 00:07:36,254
babe you been hooking up with?
You know, the hot babe.
161
00:07:36,255 --> 00:07:38,156
That's right. That's right.
162
00:07:38,157 --> 00:07:41,126
It's a... it's
a beautiful lady's kimono.
163
00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:43,561
She took it off for the intercourse.
164
00:07:45,097 --> 00:07:47,799
It's all comin' back to me now.
165
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:50,635
- Hmm?
- Mm.
166
00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:54,072
We got to go take an eye test.
167
00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:58,309
Dad, you're seeing someone?
168
00:07:58,310 --> 00:08:00,178
That's great!
169
00:08:00,179 --> 00:08:03,148
I mean, I haven't heard you talk
about a woman since Mom.
170
00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:05,583
Well, that's true...
I haven't touched a woman
171
00:08:05,584 --> 00:08:07,185
since your mother.
172
00:08:08,754 --> 00:08:10,855
Uh, let's get back
to football. Want to?
173
00:08:10,856 --> 00:08:13,858
- I love football. Mm-hmm.
- No, hang on, Dad.
174
00:08:13,859 --> 00:08:15,493
Who is this woman?
175
00:08:15,494 --> 00:08:17,228
Tell me more about her.
176
00:08:17,229 --> 00:08:20,932
Well, as you probably gathered
from the kimono, uh...
177
00:08:20,933 --> 00:08:22,800
she's Japanese.
178
00:08:24,003 --> 00:08:26,538
Of, uh, royal blood.
179
00:08:26,539 --> 00:08:29,007
But she's very down-to-earth.
180
00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:31,042
She's actually worked in the earth.
181
00:08:31,043 --> 00:08:32,210
Uh...
182
00:08:32,211 --> 00:08:34,512
she's a coal miner.
183
00:08:34,513 --> 00:08:36,080
Wow.
184
00:08:36,081 --> 00:08:38,149
She sounds like an incredible woman.
185
00:08:38,150 --> 00:08:39,651
What's her name?
186
00:08:39,652 --> 00:08:41,653
Her name?
187
00:08:41,654 --> 00:08:44,422
Uh, uh, her name, uh...
188
00:08:45,224 --> 00:08:46,758
Oh. Margaret!
189
00:08:46,759 --> 00:08:48,059
Yeah. Me, Margaret.
190
00:08:48,060 --> 00:08:49,427
I forgot my purse.
191
00:08:49,428 --> 00:08:50,995
You also forgot your kimono.
192
00:08:51,830 --> 00:08:52,997
Walt, meet Margaret,
193
00:08:52,998 --> 00:08:54,899
my royal Japanese...
194
00:08:54,900 --> 00:08:56,768
coal-mining lover.
195
00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:12,652
I cannot believe
that I agreed to this.
196
00:09:12,653 --> 00:09:14,754
I'm sorry.
I tried to get us out of it,
197
00:09:14,755 --> 00:09:16,589
but he insisted on lunch.
198
00:09:16,590 --> 00:09:19,659
Just so you know, I don't
approve of any of this at all.
199
00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:22,195
And you're gonna do
my income taxes this year.
200
00:09:22,196 --> 00:09:26,933
Well, that shouldn't be hard...
I think I can add zero to zero.
201
00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:29,302
You really want
to insult me right now?
202
00:09:29,303 --> 00:09:31,971
I'm sorry, I'm just a Stressy Bessy.
203
00:09:31,972 --> 00:09:34,941
All right, just bring me up to speed
204
00:09:34,942 --> 00:09:37,877
on all this nonsense you've spewed.
205
00:09:37,878 --> 00:09:41,014
So I'm a... Japanese coal miner?
206
00:09:41,015 --> 00:09:44,684
Royal Japanese coal miner.
207
00:09:44,685 --> 00:09:47,820
Oh. That makes much more sense.
208
00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:51,190
I had a kimono in my hand
and a gun to my head.
209
00:09:51,191 --> 00:09:53,092
I was free-associating.
210
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:55,328
At least you're interesting now.
211
00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:57,764
Sorry. Sorry.
212
00:09:57,765 --> 00:10:00,166
Uh, sorry about that.
213
00:10:00,167 --> 00:10:01,701
Tammy was just checking in.
214
00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:04,370
The boys set off firecracker
in the toilet.
215
00:10:04,371 --> 00:10:05,772
And I'm pissed.
216
00:10:05,773 --> 00:10:08,307
I mean, you hate to miss
the important stuff.
217
00:10:10,344 --> 00:10:13,212
All right, stick to the story
and don't add anything.
218
00:10:13,213 --> 00:10:16,282
- Got it.
- So, let's get to know each other.
219
00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:18,151
Where'd y'all meet?
220
00:10:18,152 --> 00:10:20,086
- Here.
- The bayou.
221
00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:26,159
Margaret. Margaret.
222
00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:28,828
Margaret, I think my dad
wants to talk to you
223
00:10:28,829 --> 00:10:30,963
underneath the table.
224
00:10:37,171 --> 00:10:40,339
Why did I say bayou?
225
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:43,409
I was gonna ask you the same question.
226
00:10:43,410 --> 00:10:46,345
Well, what should we do?
227
00:10:46,346 --> 00:10:48,714
Not this.
228
00:10:51,085 --> 00:10:53,386
Well, yeah, uh, we met here.
229
00:10:53,387 --> 00:10:56,322
When I said "bayou,"
I-I meant "by you."
230
00:10:56,323 --> 00:11:00,560
Of course, I was referring to
you, being Margaret, my lover.
231
00:11:00,561 --> 00:11:02,495
I love you, baby.
232
00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:05,831
We're back on track.
233
00:11:11,138 --> 00:11:14,107
Hank! Hear you might need glasses.
234
00:11:14,108 --> 00:11:16,652
Pretty soon,
you're gonna look as cool as me.
235
00:11:16,653 --> 00:11:18,320
Take a hike, Dudley.
236
00:11:19,923 --> 00:11:21,102
I hope this works.
237
00:11:21,103 --> 00:11:22,891
How am I supposed
to pass this stupid eye test?
238
00:11:22,892 --> 00:11:24,781
I stole the shock collar
239
00:11:24,782 --> 00:11:27,016
from Betsy Donahue's Pomeranian.
240
00:11:27,017 --> 00:11:30,787
Put it in your pocket, and
I will buzz you for each letter.
241
00:11:30,788 --> 00:11:33,089
One for "A," two for "B"...
242
00:11:33,090 --> 00:11:34,357
That's beautiful, Charlie.
243
00:11:34,358 --> 00:11:36,760
Yeah, I'm not done. Three for "C"...
244
00:11:36,761 --> 00:11:38,728
Yeah, I-I got it, and I love it.
245
00:11:38,729 --> 00:11:41,397
This stallion's about to be set loose.
246
00:11:41,398 --> 00:11:44,267
By renewing his license
to drive an electric golf cart.
247
00:11:44,268 --> 00:11:46,269
See?
248
00:11:46,270 --> 00:11:47,871
Yeah, you hear that?
249
00:11:47,872 --> 00:11:49,372
That's the sound of freedom.
250
00:11:49,373 --> 00:11:52,575
Horse freedom.
251
00:11:52,576 --> 00:11:54,577
What's up, guys? I'm Dr. Chad.
252
00:11:54,578 --> 00:11:57,781
Oh, another mindless disciple
of Western medicine.
253
00:11:57,782 --> 00:12:00,984
Nice to meet you, "Doctor" Chad.
254
00:12:00,985 --> 00:12:04,187
We're here for the, uh... "eye" test.
255
00:12:05,147 --> 00:12:06,490
Does he need to be here?
256
00:12:06,491 --> 00:12:08,103
Do you need to be here?
257
00:12:08,659 --> 00:12:12,328
Okay, Hank,
let's start with the top line.
258
00:12:12,329 --> 00:12:15,765
If you don't pass this test,
I will be shocked.
259
00:12:17,434 --> 00:12:19,536
All right then I'm gonna
260
00:12:19,537 --> 00:12:21,671
start on the... top line
261
00:12:21,672 --> 00:12:23,106
with that big one right there.
262
00:12:23,107 --> 00:12:24,541
And it is...
263
00:12:24,542 --> 00:12:26,442
Ooh! Geez. "A"?
264
00:12:26,443 --> 00:12:29,412
Correct.
265
00:12:29,413 --> 00:12:32,448
How big is that Pomeranian
266
00:12:32,449 --> 00:12:35,952
So, I told my, um,
267
00:12:35,953 --> 00:12:38,188
coal miner, uh, foreman
268
00:12:38,189 --> 00:12:40,590
that, uh,
269
00:12:40,591 --> 00:12:44,961
just because my dad is
the emperor, um...
270
00:12:44,962 --> 00:12:48,865
it doesn't mean that
I should get special attention.
271
00:12:51,268 --> 00:12:54,570
Isn't... she... amazing?
272
00:12:56,307 --> 00:12:59,142
Wow. That is an incredible story.
273
00:13:00,311 --> 00:13:02,745
Margaret, I-I got to say,
and-and forgive me
274
00:13:02,746 --> 00:13:04,914
if I'm speaking out of turn, but...
275
00:13:04,915 --> 00:13:07,917
you do not look particularly Japanese.
276
00:13:07,918 --> 00:13:11,354
Walt, I didn't raise you like that.
277
00:13:14,058 --> 00:13:16,326
No, that's fine.
I get it all the time.
278
00:13:16,327 --> 00:13:18,828
Actually, I'm only, uh, half Japanese.
279
00:13:18,829 --> 00:13:20,263
- Yeah.
- Which half?
280
00:13:20,264 --> 00:13:22,198
Uh... the...
281
00:13:22,199 --> 00:13:24,233
the bottom half.
282
00:13:33,477 --> 00:13:35,545
Neat.
283
00:13:35,546 --> 00:13:39,549
Well, it seems like lunch has
come to a natural conclusion,
284
00:13:39,550 --> 00:13:42,685
so, how about we catch
that Cowboys game?
285
00:13:42,686 --> 00:13:44,988
Well, that's my cue to leave,
because I hate football.
286
00:13:44,989 --> 00:13:46,890
It was really nice to meet you, Walt.
287
00:13:46,891 --> 00:13:48,751
- Here you are, sexy.
- Oh!
288
00:13:52,997 --> 00:13:55,031
I've been looking everywhere for you.
289
00:13:55,032 --> 00:13:57,400
Oh, Robert, this is not a good time.
290
00:13:57,401 --> 00:14:00,370
Uh, oh, maybe later, then.
291
00:14:00,371 --> 00:14:02,205
I'm up until 9:00.
292
00:14:02,206 --> 00:14:04,307
Ah.
293
00:14:05,709 --> 00:14:07,277
Dad, what's going on?
294
00:14:07,278 --> 00:14:09,445
Uh... yeah,
295
00:14:09,446 --> 00:14:12,215
is there something going
on between you two?
296
00:14:12,216 --> 00:14:15,385
Well, we're-we're trying not
to put any labels on it, Sid,
297
00:14:15,386 --> 00:14:18,021
you know, except for one... uh, "wow."
298
00:14:22,159 --> 00:14:24,394
This isn't what it looks like, Walt.
299
00:14:24,395 --> 00:14:26,596
Shouldn't you be saying that
to my dad?
300
00:14:26,597 --> 00:14:30,366
This is not what it looks like, Sid.
301
00:14:30,367 --> 00:14:31,935
The hell it isn't!
302
00:14:31,936 --> 00:14:35,004
You two are running around,
'hind my back.
303
00:14:35,005 --> 00:14:37,040
Sid, what are you talking about?
304
00:14:37,041 --> 00:14:39,409
I mean, what-what do you care
if I go out with Margaret?
305
00:14:39,410 --> 00:14:41,110
What-what does he care?!
306
00:14:41,111 --> 00:14:42,946
He cares because Margaret's his woman.
307
00:14:47,217 --> 00:14:51,087
That-that... that's, uh, impossible.
308
00:14:51,088 --> 00:14:54,490
- Why?
- Why? Well, because Sid's...
309
00:14:54,491 --> 00:14:57,927
You say one more word, Robert,
and I'll knock your block off!
310
00:14:57,928 --> 00:15:00,964
Don't you make me get up
on this chair.
311
00:15:00,965 --> 00:15:03,666
We-we really should go, Robert.
312
00:15:03,667 --> 00:15:06,602
And Sid, bye. We'll always have Tokyo.
313
00:15:06,603 --> 00:15:08,171
Oh, no.
314
00:15:08,172 --> 00:15:10,106
You best go on and git!
315
00:15:10,107 --> 00:15:11,975
And don't you ever come back.
316
00:15:11,976 --> 00:15:13,476
You ruined my life.
317
00:15:13,477 --> 00:15:15,344
You ruined it!
318
00:15:17,381 --> 00:15:20,316
She'll come crawling back.
319
00:15:20,317 --> 00:15:22,919
They always do.
320
00:15:29,843 --> 00:15:31,844
Ooh!
321
00:15:37,650 --> 00:15:40,652
Okay. Took a while,
but that's right and next?
322
00:15:40,653 --> 00:15:42,988
Ooh! Oh!
323
00:15:42,989 --> 00:15:45,390
Ooh! Ooh!
324
00:15:47,494 --> 00:15:49,495
Sorry, Hank. That was actually...
325
00:15:49,496 --> 00:15:51,463
Oh! I mean "F."
326
00:15:52,599 --> 00:15:55,534
Are you okay?
327
00:15:55,535 --> 00:15:57,636
Why do I keep smelling burnt hair?
328
00:15:59,372 --> 00:16:02,341
Seems like the sort of thing
a real doctor would know.
329
00:16:04,377 --> 00:16:07,379
Come on, man. Let's keep going.
330
00:16:07,380 --> 00:16:10,849
Okay. Just 24 more to go. And next?
331
00:16:10,850 --> 00:16:12,117
Ooh! Ooh!
332
00:16:12,118 --> 00:16:13,852
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
333
00:16:13,853 --> 00:16:16,221
All right, this is too much.
I can't take it, man.
334
00:16:16,222 --> 00:16:17,789
Enough!
335
00:16:17,790 --> 00:16:19,625
Is that Pomeranian still alive?
336
00:16:19,626 --> 00:16:21,293
We got to go save that dog.
337
00:16:22,829 --> 00:16:25,430
You guys were trying to
cheat on the eye exam?
338
00:16:27,033 --> 00:16:29,735
Well, neither of you
will be getting a lollipop.
339
00:16:29,736 --> 00:16:32,371
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
340
00:16:32,372 --> 00:16:34,606
Can't you just pass me, man?
341
00:16:34,607 --> 00:16:36,241
Sorry. I took an oath.
342
00:16:36,242 --> 00:16:38,510
What if I gave you $200?
343
00:16:39,712 --> 00:16:41,780
Works for me.
344
00:16:43,883 --> 00:16:46,084
What about your "precious oath"?
345
00:16:46,085 --> 00:16:49,788
I oath the bank 100 grand
in student loans.
346
00:16:49,789 --> 00:16:51,890
You're doing the right thing.
347
00:16:51,891 --> 00:16:54,393
You made this stallion very happy.
348
00:16:59,132 --> 00:17:02,234
♪
349
00:17:03,136 --> 00:17:04,570
I am so sorry
350
00:17:04,571 --> 00:17:07,272
about what just happened
with Margaret, Dad.
351
00:17:07,273 --> 00:17:08,640
Are you okay?
352
00:17:08,641 --> 00:17:10,742
Oh, I'm... I'm-I'm-I'm fine.
353
00:17:10,743 --> 00:17:12,778
Uh, easy come, easy go.
354
00:17:12,779 --> 00:17:15,013
'Nother day, 'nother ho.
355
00:17:20,653 --> 00:17:22,487
Dad, you don't have to pretend.
356
00:17:22,488 --> 00:17:23,989
You can be honest with me.
357
00:17:25,124 --> 00:17:27,025
I'll be honest with you.
358
00:17:27,026 --> 00:17:29,161
I'm worried about you.
That's why I'm really here.
359
00:17:29,162 --> 00:17:30,963
You never talk about your life.
360
00:17:30,964 --> 00:17:32,664
And are you happy?
361
00:17:32,665 --> 00:17:37,269
I... I am happy... Walt.
362
00:17:37,270 --> 00:17:38,670
Are you really?
363
00:17:38,671 --> 00:17:40,672
You just got cheated on.
364
00:17:40,673 --> 00:17:42,674
By the lower-half, half-Japanese woman
365
00:17:42,675 --> 00:17:45,610
who's the heir to the Japanese empire.
366
00:17:46,579 --> 00:17:49,081
Well, about all that...
367
00:17:49,082 --> 00:17:51,483
Um...
368
00:17:51,484 --> 00:17:53,485
I need to talk to you.
369
00:17:53,486 --> 00:17:55,487
I want to tell you something.
370
00:17:55,488 --> 00:17:59,024
Uh, you don't have to worry
about me, 'cause I'm happy.
371
00:17:59,025 --> 00:18:03,061
I'm really happy. I mean,
I think that I would be happier
372
00:18:03,062 --> 00:18:06,365
if you could see the real me,
because I'm...
373
00:18:06,366 --> 00:18:08,300
Sorry. What'd you say? I...
374
00:18:08,301 --> 00:18:10,369
I'm...
375
00:18:10,370 --> 00:18:12,537
I'm sorry, Dad.
I'm still not getting it.
376
00:18:12,538 --> 00:18:14,139
I... am... gay.
377
00:18:14,140 --> 00:18:15,641
Thanks for the newsflash, Sid.
378
00:18:15,642 --> 00:18:17,409
Oh!
379
00:18:22,348 --> 00:18:24,383
Walt, I, um...
380
00:18:24,384 --> 00:18:26,752
I've always been gay,
and I'm... I'm really sorry
381
00:18:26,753 --> 00:18:29,655
that I kept it from you,
but I... like ice dancing
382
00:18:29,656 --> 00:18:34,526
and musical theater and...
making love to men.
383
00:18:34,527 --> 00:18:37,963
I suppose that last one's
the main takeaway.
384
00:18:41,067 --> 00:18:43,435
Wow.
385
00:18:43,436 --> 00:18:45,437
My dad is gay.
386
00:18:45,438 --> 00:18:47,406
I have a gay dad.
387
00:18:47,407 --> 00:18:49,775
That explains a lot.
388
00:18:49,776 --> 00:18:51,710
This is awesome.
389
00:18:51,711 --> 00:18:54,379
Oh, I'm happy for you, Pop.
390
00:18:54,380 --> 00:18:56,648
Oh, thank you. I'm so glad.
391
00:18:56,649 --> 00:18:58,083
I... Oh, I'm so relieved.
392
00:18:58,084 --> 00:19:00,652
I should have done this years ago.
393
00:19:00,653 --> 00:19:03,922
But I must say, I was hoping
for a little dramatics.
394
00:19:03,923 --> 00:19:07,359
Some-some tears or a slow clap.
395
00:19:10,863 --> 00:19:13,699
Well, it's a little late
for that, Walter John.
396
00:19:13,700 --> 00:19:17,335
I'm glad you finally told me.
397
00:19:17,336 --> 00:19:21,807
- I love you, Dad.
- Oh, I love you, son.
398
00:19:21,808 --> 00:19:24,276
Oh, Sid, I broke up with Robert.
399
00:19:24,277 --> 00:19:26,311
You're-you're the one
that I really want.
400
00:19:26,312 --> 00:19:28,313
Come back with me to Japan.
401
00:19:30,950 --> 00:19:32,451
It's okay, Margaret.
402
00:19:32,452 --> 00:19:33,885
- I told him the truth...
- Oh.
403
00:19:33,886 --> 00:19:35,887
...and you buttoned
your sweater wrong.
404
00:19:35,888 --> 00:19:37,589
Oh. Huh. Oops.
405
00:19:37,590 --> 00:19:40,859
So, Robert
and I didn't really break up.
406
00:19:43,596 --> 00:19:45,664
I love this.
407
00:19:45,665 --> 00:19:48,033
I feel seen.
408
00:19:48,034 --> 00:19:50,535
You see the real me.
409
00:19:50,536 --> 00:19:53,805
- I can't see.
- Brake, Hank! Brake!
410
00:19:59,846 --> 00:20:03,348
Well, I got my golf cart license back.
411
00:20:03,349 --> 00:20:06,551
You drove into a building, man.
412
00:20:06,552 --> 00:20:09,487
You're a stallion, Hank.
413
00:20:09,488 --> 00:20:11,989
- You guys okay?
- Oh, they're fine, Margaret.
414
00:20:11,990 --> 00:20:15,860
Hank, Charlie,
I have got some really big news.
415
00:20:15,861 --> 00:20:18,062
Now I have got even bigger news.
416
00:20:18,063 --> 00:20:20,197
Everybody, listen up.
417
00:20:20,198 --> 00:20:23,067
Now, this is very hard for me to say,
418
00:20:23,068 --> 00:20:25,303
but I've been living a lie.
419
00:20:25,304 --> 00:20:27,705
And the truth is...
420
00:20:27,706 --> 00:20:29,874
(clears throat ...I can't see.
421
00:20:29,875 --> 00:20:32,009
I need glasses.
422
00:20:32,010 --> 00:20:34,378
There, I said it.
423
00:20:34,379 --> 00:20:36,380
I...
424
00:20:36,381 --> 00:20:37,970
need glasses.
425
00:20:40,275 --> 00:20:42,920
How brave is this guy?
426
00:20:49,094 --> 00:20:51,896
Are you friggin' kidding me?
427
00:20:56,898 --> 00:20:59,790
Walt, you have been through
a lot this weekend.
428
00:20:59,791 --> 00:21:02,193
But, can you handle
one more truth bomb?
429
00:21:02,194 --> 00:21:04,328
Another one?
430
00:21:04,329 --> 00:21:06,664
I actually do not like
the Dallas Cowboys.
431
00:21:06,665 --> 00:21:08,165
Whoa!
432
00:21:08,166 --> 00:21:10,034
Well, now.
433
00:21:10,035 --> 00:21:11,869
That's gonna take
some time to process.
434
00:21:11,870 --> 00:21:15,740
If it makes you feel any better,
I like cowboys in general.
435
00:21:15,741 --> 00:21:18,142
I guess that's just gonna
have to be enough.
436
00:21:18,143 --> 00:21:20,911
By the way, Dad,
I'm loving your real look.
437
00:21:20,912 --> 00:21:22,546
Yeah, you dress just like the guy
438
00:21:22,547 --> 00:21:24,448
who runs the bake sale at our church.
439
00:21:24,449 --> 00:21:27,284
Wait a second. Is he...?
440
00:21:27,285 --> 00:21:31,455
Oh, honey. He is.
441
00:21:31,456 --> 00:21:32,556
That's pretty good.
442
00:21:32,706 --> 00:21:39,281
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